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So...
... I'm completing an application form in which I have to provide an example of how I have "delivered a professional audit service that contributes to organisational effectiveness". In the absence of any actual experience in this area what words and phrases should I try to incorporate in order to make myself look knowledgeable? So far I'm going with "reasonable assurance", "effective risk management", "robust systems".
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
It's like having your shit job
without having it.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
Yep
all the tedium with none of the salary...
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:05, archived)
Write out a lovely cake recipe

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

Good plan, I could maybe attach a sample of the cake as well in the form of a bribe - Employ me as your internal auditor and I'll bring cakes in every day!
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:03, archived)
I had a great CV and letter arrive yesterday.
He wanted an apprenticeship, and as soon as he's completed it he wants to set up in competition with us.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 23 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
Good morning folks.
That's all I've got. Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 23 May 2009, 9:40, archived)
morning

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:40, archived)
*firm handshakes*
Good morning, Neptune.
Good to see you up and about.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:42, archived)
Firm handshakes?
What are you, some kind of over-compensating stinking queer?
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 23 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
Nah
just being friendly, and seeking popularity by copying one of JMG's oft-repeated phrases.
I'm such an internet whore.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
Hello
Argh my fucking o key is bollocksed.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:45, archived)
Esme, you rocking vet-to-be, you
how are you?
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:47, archived)
Hello, not bad.
I am not a vet nurse to be for a little while, I am going to take a break for a while. How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:48, archived)
I'm starting a new job on Tuesday
so I'm happy as a pig in shit.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:49, archived)
I also have a FANTASTIC new hat.

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:50, archived)
SHOW ME.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
I will do so
can you suggest a suitable upload site?
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
Photobucket, I suppose.
Are you on Facebook?
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
Yes
I will gaz you with details.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
Hurray! I saw you got one.
What are you going to be doing?
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:50, archived)
I'm raising money for charidee
it will not be easy, but I'll feel like I'm doing some good.
And I shall be paid many shiny coins. This is an excellent thing.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
Noit does that.
Is it going to people's houses to ask them to sign up?
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:53, archived)
Yes
it wil exercise my people skills, get me out of the house, and introduce me to interesting people. I'm looking forward to it.
I'll gaz Noit anyway, but is he enjoying it?
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:55, archived)
Yeah, he has a lot of fun.
His boss is a prick, though. Thinks it's fine to shout at them to make them work Saturdays and bank holidays when he doesn't bother. It's long hours. I couldn't do it.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
My boss seems nice
she's asked me to meet her for a coffee before work on Tuesday.
I could be in there.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
my 4 key isn't working on my desktop
having said that, Tesco are doing a Logitech cordless desktop set for £8.50 so it's not an issue

i have nothing further to add to this. i might go make a cup of tea.
talk amongst yourselves
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:50, archived)
OH HAI.
It's a sony vaio, they have weird flat keys, and I tried to lift it to get something out, and now it kind of flaps about, and works well sometimes.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
How often do you need an o anyway?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 23 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
:((((

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
Send Nit t srt it ut while yu relax with a cffee and sme cake.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 23 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
I'm using my old laptop.
There's no L key or Y key. Just a hole where they key should be.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
Morning
I'm sat in an awesome coffee shop waiting for Campervan parts...
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:49, archived)
I had a lovely mocha yesterday.
I want another one, but they're fecking expensive. HAI JUDE.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:49, archived)
OH HAI ESME
I've had Lully latte and now am buzzing awake. Sarah is buying stuff in primarche.
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
Is primarche a posh primark?

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:53, archived)
Hell yeah
I got two shirts, two ties and a pair of trousers yesterday. Total cost: £12.78.
I had a nice conversation with two ladies in the queue, as well. It was a good day.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:08, archived)
Mmm primarche
Morning ladies.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
Does the postman know you're in the coffee shop?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 23 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
HELLO

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:53, archived)
HELLO RUSTY CUNT

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
I prefer red bush or firebox or jaffa pants thanks.
You alrigh?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
Not too bad.
I have been cleaning and tidying. I am so fucking ladylike.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:17, archived)
I HAVE YET TO RECEIVE A RANDOM BURN

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
Not my fucking fault.
Didn't you read the bit in the gaz I sent out that says 'CDs are to be sent from 18th of May. The last sending day is 18th of June. If you're not going to be able to send your CDs, PLEASE TELL YOUR RECIPIENTS AND ME.'
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sat 23 May 2009, 10:03, archived)
WOAH
lack of threadrush
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:14, archived)
It's alive
But not as we know it!
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:17, archived)
did we just go nearly SIX WHOLE HOURS without anyone stropping, attention-seeking or trolling?
*phones Norris McWhirter*
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:19, archived)
Pretty well
But since it's Saturday morning they are probably all shitfaced from spazzing out on loldrunks
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:20, archived)
How was the sausage then?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:25, archived)
Is that a leading question?
Pretty effing good acsherrly.
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:27, archived)
Hurrah!
I actually had my first Bridie the other day, never bothered with them before, might have to make them a regular event.

My heart (attack) will always belong to the humble buttery though.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:32, archived)
My mate makes Bridies as well
I've got one at the ready in the fridge for nights when I return home bladdered and the misses refuses to cook for me. Accordingly, they are a very regular event in this household.
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:34, archived)
Pffft
I can only assume you punish her for such an indiscretion.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:36, archived)
Certainly do.
I hide the wallet!
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:37, archived)
Its the only thing they understand

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:39, archived)
Domestic abuse is the only way

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:37, archived)

ic os
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:39, archived)
In fairness
I am quite an amiable, rubber kind of fuckwit when pissed. The bridie crumbs on the floor are testament to my inability to locate my mouth on these occasions which upsets her greatly!
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:41, archived)
I'm moving today Gilgy
I won't be able to internet for the next few days :(
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:31, archived)
At least this way you wont live in constant fear of waking up in the night with Gonzo leaning over you to lick your ear.

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:32, archived)
Attack dogs were hidden in my wardrobe for this very occasion

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:34, archived)
Good luck
all the best with the new place.
We'll miss your valuable contribution.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:36, archived)
SOUND THE ALARM!

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:31, archived)
AWOOGA!

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:38, archived)
ym you ym can't ym read ym this ym message
cock tuesday in which, I am going ym to call you ym a pooface.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:38, archived)
I expect you have me on ignore anyway

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:39, archived)
We/all/ have you on ignore.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 23 May 2009, 9:40, archived)
I think his script just blocks out most of what you say.
Without having to miss subthreads.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:45, archived)
Oh deary me.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
Hey I best be going. Train and all that tomorrow. ROFL.
So what's your favourite type of train carriage?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 2:33, archived)
The one without you in.
hey, guys. i'm mad at jmg. online. Am i cool now?
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 23 May 2009, 2:35, archived)
no
i've tried to me angry at jmg online but people hated me for it, despite the fact i'm obviously far superior to him and he's just jealous
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:38, archived)
[An over the top reaction to said events. Lasting anywhere up to three weeks]
[In front of girls I'll never meet]
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 2:41, archived)
*provides link to similar event in an attempt to make you look foolish*
*arrogant smugness despite the online nature of the event*
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:46, archived)
*Calls bullshit*
*States sources*
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sat 23 May 2009, 5:53, archived)
G'day bruce
Throw another barbie on the shrimp yet?
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 23 May 2009, 6:56, archived)
No, not yet.
I've reached squeaky bum time finances-wise so am job-seeking currently.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sat 23 May 2009, 7:41, archived)
Oz is not cheap
Best of luck, big change from Ireland that's for sure
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:00, archived)
the buffet carriage, OBVIOUSLY

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:35, archived)
you forgot the
'/typical internet user response'
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:38, archived)
The one with seats, I've reserved.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:38, archived)
one that does not crash
or blow up
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:38, archived)
the wifi-enabled carriage
i'm a spotty hero, i must be able to defend fat girls from better-looking men at all times
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:40, archived)
there is no better-looking man than spacefish in a tiara

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:59, archived)

I quite like the look of East Midlands Trains refurbished 158s, though it's a shame they've had to sacrifice tables to fit more seats in.

/commuter
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sat 23 May 2009, 7:25, archived)
The chunnel tunnel one
very lush.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 23 May 2009, 7:53, archived)
Annie or Clarabel
I can never decide.
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Sat 23 May 2009, 7:57, archived)
One you can smoke in
I remember them. Those were the days
*gets all misty-eyed and nostalgic*
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 9:37, archived)
Hello internet people
I'm just back from a little trip down the pub, and got rather drunked.

this is not so good as I have to get up early and go and help my mate build a shed.

its his first real shed, and he is well happy.

what is it about blokes and sheds?

and if you don't give a flying fuck, Chinese food - savoury or sweet?
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:18, archived)
*Head in hands*

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 2:19, archived)
Shirley you mean "face palms"

(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:20, archived)
Holy shit
you're still here?

*waits for you to get a life*

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:29, archived)
jmg is an entity
and is omnipresent
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:32, archived)
Did you loose the ascii art?
Try ctrl + V.
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 23 May 2009, 2:34, archived)
It's both

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:20, archived)
I wish I had more heads and more hands.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 2:21, archived)
if this messageboard was a kitten it'd be in a sack of bricks at the bottom of a canal by now

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:29, archived)
Ordering a takeaway.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 2:31, archived)
I feel a bit left out here, I don't have much of an opinion on sheds
what do you think about sheds?

I should probably start a new thread now
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:34, archived)
he just beat you to it

(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:35, archived)
a little bit of both
i'm listening to the new green day album, tis very good and bit of a few songs remind me of others they have done
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:21, archived)
I'm listening to some obscure stuff (by most people on here standards anyway)
Excubitors, Agonised by love, Endanger and other such electronicness
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:23, archived)
i seem to find people here like obscure stuff
and shun the mainstream when it's mentioned
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:29, archived)
yes
for example, I am now having some "mono" in my headphones, very John Barry 1970's soundtrack sounding - very cool I suppose in some circles.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:30, archived)
i like classical music
i may even put on some tchaikovsky(bad spelling? oh well i'm drunk and do not care atm) in a minute
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:46, archived)
Sheds are where men do their pickling
So tell him to go pickle a bunch of eggs and onions and cabbages and gherkins
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:24, archived)
hmm... I use mine for electronic stuff
Its my workshop where I fix things, and also my little recording studio. Not a pickle in sight.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:27, archived)
haha, yeah
totally got a cup of coffee here!

looking forward to breakfast!
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:27, archived)
full English I hope?
with all the proper stuff?
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:29, archived)
yeah sure, why not

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:32, archived)
is it common for full breakfasts to include a hot drink(tea or coffee) as well as orange juice?
i like the two on their own but during the same meal just makes me feel a bit put off my brekkie
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:50, archived)
Bah! This
is what the internet is all about:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3gp7B8WC4Q
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:08, archived)
From this I found a homosexual Rugby League cheerleader.
A new low.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:13, archived)
Lucky bastard.
If only all my internets worked out that way.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:14, archived)
The internet eventually lets everybody down.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:14, archived)
But mainly you, old son.

(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:16, archived)
True. Young.. Elder.
On a daily basis I am suffering with the weight of fat, ugly people trying to drag us all down to their level.
In many ways I, JMG should be heralded much, much more than I already am.

In spite of this, I return each day to make you all look a bit better.
Mainly through improvement through bullying.


Well done, JMG.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:18, archived)
Or maybe you're a fattie who can't accept his fattiness.
I don't know, I'm not an expert.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:20, archived)
Still, the link below is funnier.

(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:21, archived)
Are you tonight's designated drunk argument?
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:22, archived)
Sure,
I'll take that for ten.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:24, archived)
THIS B3TAN IS TONIGHT'S FOUR PINT FAIRY.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:25, archived)
*rolls up oldskool sleeves for a bit of a spanking*

(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:26, archived)

img196.imageshack.us/img196/8176/illcommentonthatjmgrema.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:28, archived)
Mum!

(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:31, archived)
I've changed my mind.
This is my new favourite.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:32, archived)
I hope he logs back on tomorrow to let us all know that it was a joke.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:27, archived)
It'll no doubt be my fault.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:29, archived)
Nah, I've been away for a while.
JMG is little B3ta kiddie compared to the folks who make me a little b3tga kiddie.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:31, archived)
Alright. We're going to need some kind of professional help here.
This is getting out of hand. Online.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:32, archived)
Fight! Fight! Fight!
*gets into queensbury position*
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

i2.photobucket.com/albums/y33/rhcpaul/jmgsonline.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:35, archived)
Hmmm.
Sorry, but i've still got no evidence that you're not a complete tosser.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:45, archived)
Well there's an internet outburst.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:49, archived)
Have you not got a picture for this situation.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:35, archived)
Oh I have many pictures.
I'm incredibly popular.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:38, archived)
Does it all point to being your fault.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:44, archived)
Evidently not
See
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:39, archived)
I see Vulga's pic in that lot.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:43, archived)
I'm knacked
Good night, big fella
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:46, archived)
Night matey.
Think it might be time for my bed, looking forward to being finished work tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:47, archived)
Hold the internet...
Bogus Official would like to make an anti JMG remark.
In the early morning. On a weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:44, archived)
Will you mention this at a later date?

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:46, archived)
Probably.
img200.imageshack.us/img200/4900/repeatsjmg.jpg

You might want to grab a placard.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:47, archived)
Christ no, I couldn't be bothered.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:49, archived)
LIES. ONLINE.
:(((
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:49, archived)
Oh?

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:50, archived)
Oh, Brian
Hold your breath while the ritalin kicks in. And now, while I go and have a bit of a kip, an impotent mong with Badger hanging out of its arse will whine and whinge over and over and over. And then, at three in the morning will serve the curve ball, while no one is looking, or caring. Then go home to thumb a semi up its mums shit box. And still be called Brian.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:52, archived)
That's like calling his pint a puff.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:55, archived)
BOGUS OFFICIAL OUTBURST.
0152 Saturday May 23rd 2009.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:56, archived)
Have you bookmarked it for use at a later date?

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:58, archived)
Probably.
Would you like me to GAZ you when I post it so you can swoop in like a superhero who's just cut some onions and have a right ruddy go at me?
On the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 2:00, archived)
Why would I want to do that.
It sounds like a tedious thing to do.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:03, archived)
I'd love to sit here and once again go through another half hour of banter where I come out on top and somebody on the internet I don't recognise falls out with me for the sake of being noticed.
I really would.

But I honestly can't be bothered.
Can we skip about 20 minutes and get to the bit where it seems you're replying to me just to get the last word in?
We can talk about favourite TV shows as children?

I enjoyed Knightmare.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 2:05, archived)
So you'll be favouring the 'I've been here longer than you, JMG.' argument then?
Great stuff. Not entirely original, mark you. But still a solid choice.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:35, archived)
Nah, frankly I couldn't give a toss.
I'm only here once in six months, mainly because the horrible sycophancy causes some sort of illness in me. It might be AIDS, i don't know.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:40, archived)
Oh, and i don't mean to be a cunt
(lies) but 'argument'.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:43, archived)
I didn't think it looked right, to be fair.
I'll change it now.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:45, archived)
Hold on, now.
Is JMG to blame for AIDs?

They are definately both acronyms. This could be the first step on the road of Internet Truth.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

img22.imageshack.us/img22/3503/jmgstrung.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:45, archived)
I applaud your diplomacy.
I'd still urge you to move away from the fools who think they're the best of b3ta, I really would.
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:48, archived)
Careful now.
People might construe you being upset.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:52, archived)
Nah, I'm peachy.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:09, archived)
The ones that aren't fat look like this:
randomn.es/images/7baaf8a078ba9439ace954bdb559a854.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:21, archived)
OHH B4SH PHOTOS!
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:22, archived)
This is true.
I just found a photo of another dead baby - but THIS TIME, a doctor is performing The Goatse on its festering anus.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:18, archived)
OHH INTERNET!
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:18, archived)
I bet you could get b3tard to click the link to that picture.
Even with flashing NSFW tags.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:19, archived)
I'll bet he'd complain even if the link text said you are exempt from complaining if you click this link.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:22, archived)
He could be on an entirely different message board and click the link.
He'd still gaz cr3 to whinge about it.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:26, archived)
Why does Cr3 keep listening?
Unless it's not Cr3 he whinges to.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:28, archived)
Rugby League is bollocks
they need to learn the proper rules.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:16, archived)
ha ha! forum banter! great stuff!
smashing
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:19, archived)
*sevens*

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:22, archived)
Oh, Kev
When will these chutney ferrets learn?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:22, archived)
I know, I know...
and what the shuddering fuck is happening this year with results?
Hull KR? Salford? Fucks sake
Anyone can beat anyone, which is why we are 10 points off top and 10 points off bottom.
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:26, archived)
I'm scared

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:28, archived)
Wigan have pissed me off this season. The first 10 minutes tonight we were awesome. I mean proper awesome.
Then it all went to shit, we didn't match them in the pressuring.
We played gash and the inevitable happened
Anyway, I think I'm off to watch Blackpool Panthers v Keighley on Sunday afternoon
It's nice that Panthers don't get hammered every week now.
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:32, archived)
I might go watch Keefli
This kills me :(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:35, archived)
[ob;igatory puff's game comment]
[internet argument]
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:41, archived)
I'd love to do internetings with you old chap
But as much as I love you, I need my kip now
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:42, archived)
That's quite decent.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:14, archived)
Oh, and if you cunts haven't heard this before,
you're bigger cunts than i thought:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujUQn0HhGEk
(I helped save b3ta! charliedontsurf, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:15, archived)
hello

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:35, archived)
Is it me you're looking for?

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:38, archived)
I love you, won't you tell me your name?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:40, archived)
24
The second best thing on TV asides the LOVELY FOOTBALL.

Your views?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:06, archived)
Second biggest steaming pile on TV besides the boring gayfest that is Football

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:08, archived)
YES!
My internet panties are wet through on the internet!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:09, archived)
Glad I could please someone today

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:11, archived)
Internet and real things are seperate.
It might help to remember this.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:12, archived)
I'm a billion times ahead of this type of thinking.
I'm JMG.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:13, archived)
Well done on remembering your username.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:17, archived)
This is only the tip of the JMG praise wagon.
You may thank me for many things, in due course.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:19, archived)
The Wire
is better than 24.
My opinion, no offence, forum banter etc.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:08, archived)
I prefer Lost.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:09, archived)
The season 5 finale was cracking.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:16, archived)
Oh man, I'm looking forward to the last series.
I can't imagine where it will go from there.

I'll bet there are plenty of twists though.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:19, archived)
I had a bit of difficulty taking the serious bits seriously.
My mind kept bringing up the fact that Jacob lives in a giant foot.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:21, archived)
I did like when he visited all of the survivors before they flew.
Especially Sun and Jin's wedding.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:27, archived)
The twists that are in the shouldn't make sense,
but they fit in so beautifully.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:29, archived)
It's very confused sometimes.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:37, archived)
Chuck is WIN.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:09, archived)
I LOVE medium, that crazy psychic.
But it's been cancelled. TERRIBLE NEWS.

Also: got to get up quite early tomorrow to get on a train to sussex to visit the in-laws at their holiday home, and a bit wrecked. Woops.
(I helped save b3ta! rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:14, archived)
OH MY SWEET ROSIE!
Drink a LITRE of WATER.
That's my official tip!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 1:15, archived)
I'm drinking water but also still wine. Sure everything will be fine.

(I helped save b3ta! rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:23, archived)
Oh, I quite like the occasional episode I catch.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:21, archived)
It's one of my favourites.
It saddens me lots that it will be over.
(I helped save b3ta! rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:22, archived)
BIG GIRLS' KNICKERS WITH ALL STAINS

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:15, archived)
QUIMSLOPTASTIC

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:17, archived)
YOU SEXY PORTLY MAN!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:17, archived)
A SCRUB IS A GUY WHO THINKS HE'S FINE
ALSO KNOWN AS A BUSTER
ALWAYS TALKIN' BOUT WHAT HE WANTS
AND JUST SITS ON HIS BROKE ASS
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:18, archived)
My favorite dish.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:19, archived)
Good evening, sir
I've got myself gainfully employed, how are you?
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:21, archived)
Excelent to both points.
I've been covering shifts so pay will be good.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:24, archived)
Sounds like a good thing
I'm going to be a marketing trainee
as in, sucking the sweaty cock of Satan. Wish me luck.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:28, archived)
Full marks!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:30, archived)
Have some mouthwash handy for when he finishes off.
What kind off marketing are you doing?
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:31, archived)
It's for charidee
so I can still live with myself.
WWF and RSPB, mostly.
I'm a responsible motherfucker.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:33, archived)
Those are pretty worthy causes.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:41, archived)
Hell yeah
and I will get paid, rather than sitting on my arse and collecting dole money.
I hate sitting on my arse and collecting dole money. It's incredibly boring.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:44, archived)
Plus, if they arbritarily choose to stop giving you dole money, there's not a thing you can do about it.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:45, archived)
They can be quite shit like that.
Odd how some people keep theirs and others lose theirs for no reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:02, archived)
Bastards took three months to pay me
I think bureaucracy is the worst of all evils.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:07, archived)
oh, and it's knocking on doors
fuck it, there's a recession on, I need the money.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:36, archived)
I thought you were going to apply to be a policeman

(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:40, archived)
I am
but apparently the application takes about 2 years.
I need some pocket money in the near future.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:42, archived)
bzzz
lolololol
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:44, archived)
The experience is good too
They like a nice full CV. Congratulations by the way!
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:45, archived)
Ta much
I'm going for paramedic eventually, but it'll take some time, and I've got my hands full at the moment with a cancer patient. Got to pay the rent, and that.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:49, archived)
You'll be good at that.
We've already seen you in action :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:54, archived)
I keep trying
cheers for the support, you're one in a million, you lovely person, you.

say hello to the Captain for me.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:11, archived)
shut up fartmonkey

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:22, archived)
BALDMONKEY FOR GOD

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:43, archived)
Steady on

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:44, archived)
BALDMONKEY FOR THAT MAN WHO HANDS OUT LEAFLETS ON THE STREET THAT YOU TAKE OUT OF POLITENESS BUT NEVER ACTUALLY READ ALTHOUGH YOU DO FEEL BAD BECAUSE HE HAS CLEARLY GONE TO THE EFFORT OF BEING OUT IN THE RAIN AND IT WOULDNT REALLY HURT TO HAVE A LOOK

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:47, archived)
That's better

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:49, archived)
OUT OF MY WAY FAT INTERNET!
Hello Chubsters. JMG here.


I'm quite drunk and in spite of this I'm heading off to DURHAM tomorrow to DRINK and be OFFLINE.
How will you, the internet cope?


Most prominent complaint wins the heart bypass.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:39, archived)
they're getting scared about ghosts, down there

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:41, archived)
In all fairness, the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man DID fight off the ghosts in Ghostbusters.
This is just a McContinuation.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:42, archived)
It's VODKA TIME
I have very little to complain about recently. As a fervent internet user, this is very disturbing to me.

Are you looking forward to Sunday's events?
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:41, archived)
Anxiety and such.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:43, archived)
One of my brothers is a Newcastle fan
We'll be watching the game together, and I hope to be drinking his salty tears by the end of the night. John Carew's due another hat-trick I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:03, archived)
ANOTHER?!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:05, archived)
Oh yes
He does like playing against Newcastle, and he's in brilliant form at the moment
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:08, archived)
HE IS?!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:12, archived)
My ex-girlfriend fell down the stairs and cut her head open
I was there, I called 999, I explained what happened. We got in the ambulance and I was distraught. I didn't push her, no no no, that's not something I'd do. But I did tell them the wrong blood type so she'd know what rejection REALLY feels like.

In other news I sometimes steal jokes off Radio 4 and post them on the internet because nobody listens to radio fucking four.
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:43, archived)
And if you think that's shit you best hide this thread.
Because it's all downhill from here.

The other day I was on a train and my mum called me up, I said I'm on a train, she said, eurostar? I said I've been on Trisha but I'm no Graham Norton. Mind you. Jokes aside I don't mind the eurostar. It's murder on the orient express.
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:44, archived)
Fucking hell internet, tell me some better jokes.

(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:44, archived)
Why hang out with receptors of old?
I see no use for this.
Unless she hadn't handed over your laundry, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:44, archived)
Fucking hell. You're a Geordie, you should just talk out loud, that makes me laugh usually.
Even better if you tell a joke. Ant & Dec, they get a lot of stick, but you youtube wonky donkey and tell me you don't piss yourself laughing. You do that and I'll call you a liar. A bald liar who lives with his mum./
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:46, archived)
HAS THE INTERNET HAD SOME FORM OF MUSCLE RELAXANT?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:47, archived)
I'm fed up of being the second best ginger on this website. I want Easty killed.
I don't care about Rob, he's fucking shit in comparison to me, what's he ever done, online.

Don't fuck around, JMG, prove you're a man and wallop a bisexual.
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:48, archived)
EASTY'S A FRUIT AND NUT?!
I was not aware of this.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:55, archived)
I keep a handy list, it's called "Reid's LGBT list" and it's written in pink fucking highlighter
Moohalaa is such a horrendous gay I drew a fucking unicorn next to his name. But I shouldn't have. He'll probably kill it because that's what you do on World of Warcraft, you kill unicorns, that's what.

I can't name any others.
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:58, archived)
That MCQ, I've heard he's an admirer of the man poultry
He never fucking turns up no more though. What am I supposed to do, look like some billy no mates by naming people who fucking hide from the likes of us these days and the shitness we've become?
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:13, archived)
You're the second best ginger?
I think not.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:57, archived)
You're top of my list of people who happen to be ginger.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:22, archived)
I'm the best ginger ever
it's not open to debate.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:35, archived)
I listen to Radio fucking 4

(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:45, archived)
Middle class. That's what you are. That's what I probably am now. I was a fucking cockney before I found radio 4.
Fucking iplayer.
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:47, archived)
I am extremely middle class
raised on The Archers theme tune and gin and tonics before dinner.

Enjoying Radio 4 is the least of my middle class attributes :)
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:06, archived)
I bet you make your own bread.

(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:15, archived)
Durham, eh?
Don't get mistaken for a student and thus get charged £3.50 per pint.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:45, archived)
I've wrangled many the cheap drink in Durham before by prodding the bar and putting on my full Geordie.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:46, archived)
Good work there.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:00, archived)
I'm going to bed now JMG
Nighty night
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:45, archived)
*Chest bonk*
Sleep well good T.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:46, archived)
MykeyBoy must have posted

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:47, archived)
I can't sit around all day and wait for Chubby McChickenburger to finish all his posting.
Plus we're safe.
He can't see any of this. He's above all of this.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:48, archived)
The only thing he's above is salad.
And if he's on an escalator facing somebody, talking to them, his gut is over their shoes.

Fat jokes, on the fucking internet. I'm bored as shit. Tell me a fucking joke or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:52, archived)
I feel like I'm in the disadvantaged 1.5% of internet users
:(((((
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:53, archived)
I like Durham.
I helped build a bridge there. It hasn't even fallen down yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:48, archived)
Fucking hell.
Anyone mentions Durham and it's all 'OOOHH I BUILT A BRIDGE THERE'. SHUT UP ABOUT THAT FUCKING BRIDGE.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:49, archived)
It's a bugger when you've
got a thyroid problem.
More like a PIEroid problem HAHAHA
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6169265
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:52, archived)
OH WHEEEELY?
That's where I got the idea from, you daft stumbly-wumbly.
My plan to get drunk has failed. I've managed two cans of beer and I'm tired :(
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:53, archived)
ALRIGHT!
I'm shattered. We had a curry and watched telly. It's been very exciting.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:55, archived)
I don't think we can keep this lifestyle up for much longer without hitting the Charlie.
Do you want to watch the last games and results on Sunday, and see Geordies weeping tears of sadness into their prison tops?
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:57, archived)
Dunno what I'm doing yet.
I need to chat with my ma.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:00, archived)
pffft, prison tops.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:00, archived)
I just bit my cheek while eating
I am obviously so fat I have started eating myself
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:54, archived)
OH MY GOOD ROCKING CHUM!
Put down the lard and pick up the fanny!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:56, archived)
Please take a laptop so you can be here
We'll be lost without your dominating threads :(
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:57, archived)
Some Dolecam action would go down a treat too

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:06, archived)
He's spending his Giro on getting drunk.
I anticipate wobbling from some!
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:07, archived)
I bet JMG nights out
just end up like this
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:11, archived)
Haha, yes

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:18, archived)
JMG does not own a laptop.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:06, archived)
Could I have a heart to be bypassed.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:14, archived)
JMG.
I have a new, and magnificent hat. What are your thoughts?
Share your hat-related anecdotes with us, your poor unenlightened Internet dogsbodies.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:16, archived)
HATS = YES!
I once managed to throw a hat in a spinning formation away and towards a random location well away from me one night in a bar.
In a wonderful moment of time and motion collaboration, it landed spot on a policeman's helmet.


10 points JMG!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:19, archived)
For the record.
Plastic cowboy hat.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:20, archived)
Good work there, fella.
My new hat is 100% cotton twill, and is vastly becoming.
It has already attracted the attention of more than one offline women.
I'm counting this as a win.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:25, archived)
I'm pissed and armed with a keyboard!
WATCH OUT, E-WOMEN!
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 23 May 2009, 0:17, archived)
ARGH!
KILL IT!
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:28, archived)
It looks like a woman in Victorian dress walking through the door.
Or nothing.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:31, archived)
Perhaps
But it cant beat THIS
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:34, archived)
OH MY GOD, IT'S RAVAGE!
I hope he's in the new film. I wonder if they make Autobot usbs, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:35, archived)
On a similar subject, this happened just up the road from me.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/7029051.stm
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:37, archived)
Ive seen that one
It looks like he has a ghostly hard on:)
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:40, archived)
I'm late home because some chav bint tried to jump in front of my train
On the wrong fucking track. Jesus. I could have had six months off and a big fat pay out had the spastic the sense she was born with and picked the right direction.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:40, archived)
We all know that you train folk( oddly making you sound like carnies)
Live only for the fat payoff you will eventually get for having to lick the spray from a suicide off your faces.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:43, archived)
When I posted earlier from my blackberry
I was impatiently waiting for the silly tart to fuck off so we could go past a signal. When we did I admit to hanging out of the window in the hope of copping some gore.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:45, archived)
I imagine the scene to be much like an Alsation leaning out of the car window
but with an albino Yorkshireman.

Wuv ooo
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:47, archived)
I did keep my mouth shut to be honest
I'm no cannibal. I imagine she'd only taste like pork marinated in Lamberts and Lynx Africa
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:50, archived)
Oh see now i wish i'd bought more than a couple of cans:(
Curse you, southerner.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:51, archived)
I'm going to have a little drinky now, which I had the foresight to buy earlier in suitable amounts,
And possibly type swears on the internet.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:54, archived)
Excellent stuff
Mrs Mykeyboy is off for a day in a spa tomorrow, with massages and the like.
And seeing as she wont be back till late i shall take every opportunity and drink a shedload and abuse the mentally retarded on here.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:56, archived)
I sent my missus to one of those a couple of times for her birthday
Chicks dig that shit. This year she gets to go to That London and sit next to me while I scowl and she watches Mama Mia in a proper theatre and that.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:00, archived)
Christ.
There should be a medal awarded for that sort of thing.

Women are wired wrong. I mean, they dont even appreciate a good fart.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:01, archived)
Oh mine sounds a like a choir of ducks when she's pretending to be asleep
They just pretend they don't
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:04, archived)
Pfft
Earplugs FTMFW
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:06, archived)
Because it's real and stuff

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:57, archived)
Are you, Alice, mensturating right now?

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:02, archived)
It's true, this man has no dick.
Hello gorgeous.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:04, archived)
Hello sexy.
Why are people in Cov feeding meat to kids? IT'S OUTRAGEOUS!
(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:05, archived)
I thought that was the irish catholic priests?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:06, archived)
I know!
I'm going to write to my MP about it. I might even go on Have Your Say.

How're you?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:06, archived)
I am drunk.
Service as usual. British Gas is safe in my hands. Honest.
(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:08, archived)
This reminds me of the time you tried drill a hole through your head.

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:08, archived)
Good man.
You were missed at my birthday btw. I think Duncan wanted to continue the 'Which is shitter, Cass or Donny' conversation.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:09, archived)
He would have lost.
I need to make plans to come to Cov SOON.
(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:10, archived)
Yes.
Do this. It'll be ACE.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:12, archived)
WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:13, archived)
Buy a tshirt
help the needy.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:18, archived)
pffft

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:19, archived)
I just realised I've got the date completely wrong :(

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:22, archived)
It's trauma, love.
You've had a near death experience.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:25, archived)
I could have fallen off my roof had I panicked and screamed like a girl more than I did,
which was an awful lot if I'm honest.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:29, archived)
You great big jessie

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:31, archived)
I don't understand the reference.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:04, archived)
IT IS BECAUSE YOU FAIL

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:07, archived)
THERE IS NO DANA

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:05, archived)
THERE IS ONLY ZOOL

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:06, archived)
ONLY ZUUL

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:06, archived)
why don't you go ask her when she's ten feet tall

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:07, archived)
That song is on my randomburn.

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:07, archived)
What's your boggle?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:07, archived)
Hello mykey, how is Scotchland?

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:09, archived)
Surprisingly warm
I fear though that the previously unintelligable accents have now become so common place to my ear that i find people with proper English accents to sound slightly odd.

Help me lukedoof, you're my only homo.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:11, archived)
Are you picking up a Scottish twang yet?

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:12, archived)
Fuck no
I also make a point of correcting their funny words

'funcy piece' is rubbish, 'cake' is the word.

Fucking islanders.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:13, archived)
I would, but I am paralysed by the power of Ghostbusters.
As usual.
(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:12, archived)
They start filming the third one this December!
Woot!
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:13, archived)
I'm far more excitable about the video game coming out next month.

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:15, archived)
Ah yes id forgotten about that
What platform s it out on?
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:17, archived)
PS3 first, then the rest later this year.

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:19, archived)
Hmmmm
Do i get it on ps3 or wait for the xbox version for its slightly nicer controller...
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:21, archived)
Wait for it on XBOX and get RED RING OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:23, archived)
DONT SAY SUCH THINGS
I truly love my ps3, its ten times more useful than the xbox.

But im oddly fond of the xbox...
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:27, archived)
What has that got to do with it?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:12, archived)
I love you.

(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:13, archived)
Sorry, I mean;
Back off man, I'm a scientist.
(I helped save b3ta! mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:14, archived)
Menstruating.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:29, archived)
There's always been a problem with the twelveth floor but it's been quiet for years.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:31, archived)
Oh hello.
I love my hometown. Feeding meat to kids is child abuse? Only if it's man meat. I'd also like to point out that I'm NOT the UK's fattest mother.

How are we tonight, beautiful freaks? I've been doing WRITING in SILVER PEN. It's like all futuristic and that.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:36, archived)
Happy!

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:39, archived)
Yays

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:41, archived)
She's put on weight during the time it takes for google to index the results.
www.google.co.uk/search?q=Leanne+Salt
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:41, archived)
Probably.
Fat fucking cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:41, archived)
I don't know about anyone else here, but I'm turned on.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:44, archived)
I'm doing great though thanks,
Spent the evening by the harbour for a friend's birthday and meet some really interesting people. One guy was telling me about life for the turks in cyprus during the 50s and 60s, and it's pretty grim.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:43, archived)
I'm looking lovely. All dressed up etc etc.
boogying to c-mon & kypski
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:41, archived)
You always look lovely, lady

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:42, archived)
Thanks babez.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:42, archived)
*airkiss*

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:46, archived)
pffft, now that is silly!

but thank you...!
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:44, archived)
Oh pshaw

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:46, archived)
:(
www.b3ta.com/talk/6168950

www.b3ta.com/talk/6168991
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:44, archived)
Ha ha
I love you, mister.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:45, archived)
*blushes*
Oh you!
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:47, archived)
I NO

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:51, archived)
I've had fatter.

(I helped save b3ta! nick the greek, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:44, archived)
I've seen the Geordie Birds

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:45, archived)
Probably all of them. I was back in Trillians tonight.
There was a Pantera tribute act on. I'm getting too old for that.
(I helped save b3ta! nick the greek, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:48, archived)
I liked Trillians.
I liked it a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:50, archived)
I do too when there isn't a shit band on.

(I helped save b3ta! nick the greek, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:52, archived)
OLD

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:54, archived)
True
:(
(I helped save b3ta! nick the greek, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:55, archived)
Yay to silvery writing
I've been learning about disambiguation.

There's a lot of rubbish written about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:45, archived)
YAY indeed to silvery writing

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:47, archived)
I really, really, really want to kill (and eat, for Irony's sake) millitant vegetarians.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:48, archived)
See now
I don't eat a lot of meat because I don't like it very much but I'd eat every fucking animal going in order to piss those cunts off.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:51, archived)
There's nothing wrong with vegetarianism (although I jest at the vegetarians I do know)
but it's a personal choice. Don't try to force your own opinions on other people as fact :(
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:52, archived)
Exactly.
I was a veggie for about six years and never made a big deal about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:53, archived)
I bet they'd taste of old cabbage

(I helped save b3ta! Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:51, archived)

it'd be difficult to eat them, because you'd have ten thousand spoons, but what you'd really need would be a knife
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:53, archived)
I'd wait until they turned to mulch then eat them like soup.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:55, archived)
peta are a bunch of fucking cunts

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:50, archived)
Yes.
Yes they are.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:51, archived)
Thing is though....
I don't know a single person who likes them, or is indifferent, they all think they're cunts. From captalist like to hippy type, they all hate them.

So who the hell supports them?

I don't know, but I got to go offline now, g'night everyone, Mwah'.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:55, archived)
FUR IS MURDER. SO WE'RE GOING TO POUR PAINT ALL OVER YOUR FUR COAT...
YEAH... THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEND MONEY ON A NEW ONE, THUS SLAUGHTERING ANOTHER ANIMAL FOR ITS FUR.

No, wait, hang on. That can't be their policy, that wouldn't be very clever.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:57, archived)
Mental, lonely, single women who have thousands of rabbits in place of the children their barren dried up wombs can never provide.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:59, archived)
One day I am going to cook and eat a PETA member.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:55, archived)
Oooh ooooh ooooh.
Can I come?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:56, archived)
We're totally on the same wavelength, bro.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:57, archived)
We're totally not going to share though.
I want to eat a WHOLE ONE.

There's barely any flesh on the insipid shadows of human flotsam anyway. We'd have to fill up on pork pies afterwards.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:59, archived)
Can't we all just be friends
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r577ytYTZM
(Popiella Jones, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:10, archived)
I'M A COMPUTER
STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADIN'
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eA3XCvrK90
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:11, archived)
die scumbag

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:12, archived)
I think at the end he says "worship" and "nigger" and something between the two.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:12, archived)
WOW Glad you still have your finger, and owl learn how it is much better to have neck scritches than eat finger :)

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:12, archived)
Owls seem sinister...
but all they really need is a good ear tickle
(Popiella Jones, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

humble before nature/god/universe/cosmos/mul iverse's creation. though NOW I see where Rigel from Farscape, was based on, not to mention Gremlin & that annoying sycophantic bird/bat creature in Jabba the Hut's lair... similarities abounds. but the eyes are simply AMAZING! Can we raise one in Montana or the American SW? What would introducing these beauties do to the local ecology, I wonder...
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:15, archived)
Ear tickling man
I just said, aren't you listening?
(Popiella Jones, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:17, archived)
Bored of you now.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:21, archived)
unfortunately
he's probably having his ears tickled so is unable to hear you
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:22, archived)
I'm just waiting for your next rabid outburst of BNP-sympathetic homophobia.
Then again, the last far-right female we had infesting this place didn't receive a single ounce of reprisal, so why should you?
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:16, archived)
I saw their broadcast today
It gave me the raging fear!
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:21, archived)
Get involved then
www.hopenothate.org.uk
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:22, archived)
Can we not just have them arrested and shot instead?
Given that their primary objective is to spread fear and panic throughout the nation, they're practically terrorists anyway, so said purge would be entirely legal under the current anti-terrorism legislation.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:25, archived)
As much as I appreciate your authoritative leftism
giving them free speech is the best way - they are thick cunts who drop themselves in it at every turn.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:35, archived)
Jello Biafra put it more eloquently than I ever could.
"Nazi punks, Nazi punks, Nazi punks, FUCK OFF!!!"

Though my sentiments are not confined to punks, the message is the same.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:24, archived)
yeah but have you seen her profile picture?
Hawt!
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:00, archived)
that's it, that settles it, this evening, 10.20pm.
I am going to become a vegetarian.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:21, archived)
FUCK YOUR LINK
FUCK YOUTUBE IN THE FUCKING EAR
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:21, archived)
aw, my delicious little cunt
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pajTbmBV5kQ
(Popiella Jones, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:24, archived)
LIKE FUCKERS AM I CLICKING ANY OF YOUR FUCKING SHIT YOU FAT SPASTIC

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:25, archived)
FATSTIC

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:26, archived)
Don't be like that, we can be your friends
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIWf_hc1_TM
(Popiella Jones, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:27, archived)
Why do you hate me so?
I really am quite lovely
(Popiella Jones, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:40, archived)
YAY

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:22, archived)
NAY

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:28, archived)
GAY

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:28, archived)
I like eggs.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:05, archived)
So's your face!

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:05, archived)
It sounds like one of the joke songs from Nathan Barley

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:06, archived)
I'm going to the shop,
for fags and booze. Any suggestions on what else to buy?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:07, archived)
a lighter

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:07, archived)
I already have one.
Maybe a lighter lighter?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:09, archived)
Jelly Tots

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:07, archived)
gala pie

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:08, archived)
What's wrong with Fray Bentos?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:09, archived)
Nothing.
Get both.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
I don't know, do they do books full of interesting things to post on the internet?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:09, archived)
haha,
ZING eh? You're such a cunt, but a unique one. Well done for being you!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:11, archived)
Good work.
I can't stand the little cunts, but each to their own.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:10, archived)
I'm going to Manchester tomorrow.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:11, archived)
Yeah.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
I couldn't agree more

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:05, archived)
let's ignore baldmonkey and talk up here instead

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
I'm not sure I want to be part of your clique

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
OK
That song was shit.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
Would you like to hear about my dissertation?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
GET A JOB, HIPPY

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:07, archived)
GILGY WILGY MESHY WESHY

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:05, archived)
hello Margaret

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:08, archived)
I did a shit thing.
www.b3ta.com/links/A_song_This_is_possibly_the_shittest_thing_Ive_ever_done_And_Ive_done_some_pretty_shit_things

All the same, I'd like some attention.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:01, archived)
can I give you attention without listening to the song?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:02, archived)
This is a better idea.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:03, archived)
the podcast ad is pretty hilarious

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
1.48
fuck off I'm going to watch something about starwars for that long
(Popiella Jones, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:02, archived)
And it's shit.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:03, archived)
Breathed?
Stop breathing then.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 22:03, archived)
LOL......................

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:03, archived)
Someone's deleted a post down there.
You could make a huge fuss and become everyone's least favourite Friday Night Whinger, if you want.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:04, archived)

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