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FUCKING HELL!
I was asked to provide a recording of a voice sample for a VO job.
They sent me a script, which I recorded and sent back.
Then they complained that the recording didn't sync with the footage.
How the shuddering fuck is anybody supposed to sync to footage they haven't seen?

Alternatively, what would you be having for lunch if Farrah Fawcet was still alive?
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:35, archived)

I just ate 30 meal worms

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:36, archived)

I know.

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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

I'd rinse my mouth out but all I have is dog piss.
and I'm not going to waste that by spitting it out.
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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)

Here you go:
www.nationalhorseandponynetwork.co.uk/
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Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:44, archived)

Crisps and dip.

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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

The healthy option.

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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

My body is a temple.

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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:43, archived)

Charlie's Angels Delight.

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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

ROFL.

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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:38, archived)

VO work eh?
Free/Student stuff or paid work?
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Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:38, archived)

Paid work.
I don't do free, and I'm far too old for student stuff.
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)

How do you get contacted for voice work?
Agency? Online portfolio?
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Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:46, archived)

psychics

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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:48, archived)

Neither.
It's not something I do a huge amount of, probably due to a lack of the options you mentioned. There are a few companies who ask me from time to time, and they'd know me through production/presenting work I've done in the past.
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:49, archived)

I just answered a online ad for vo work
many years ago mind but I did make it into a game once.
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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:51, archived)

which game? do i get to shoot you?

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:52, archived)

you would have once
it was for a olde quake mod that was to be professionally published....however the voice over stuff did get used in Battlecruiser Millennium.

I have the songs on mp3 somewhere.
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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:58, archived)

jus' kiddin'
i don't actually want to shoot you
that's pretty cool though. i wouldn't like to do VO stuff due to having a quite offensively dull voice
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

I just read that saunas give you headaches.
This is somewhat unfortunate.
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Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

i know
i went to finland. which is like saunaland. but i couldn't go in any
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)

That's even mroe unfortunate.

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Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)

don't worry though. i had a lovely time anyway.

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)

I did a voice for a game a while ago.
It was a very low budget PC detective game. My character had a bomb in his goatee apparantly. I got a free copy of the game but never got as far as my character's scene. It was low budget for a reason.
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Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:55, archived)

Ah, the ol' "it's who you know" schtick, huh?
Well, still, any advice for an eager budding voice actor like me?
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Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:52, archived)

I'm not in a position to listen to that right now.
And in general, no I don't.
As I said, this isn't something I do a huge amount of.
The only thing I can say is general actor advice; be as helpful as possible, and remember that your opinions don't count, you've been hired to do what the director says, not to think.
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:55, archived)

Righto then.
Ta.
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Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:57, archived)

Also remember that agencies for VO work get more demos than they know what to do with.
Many agencies admit that if you send them a demo it'll take over a year before they'll get round to hearing it.
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:58, archived)

and be a luvvie
and keep saying `ohhh heeeeelllloooo darling, have you read the trades lately...5 stars in the north hampton amateur dramatics presentation of spot the dog...no I do not take it up the arse unless the part asks for it...
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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

Repeat after me.
"This is your ten minute warning... have a good day.".

There we go, perfect for the cab trade.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:49, archived)

That's not actually how the warning calls worked. It used to go as follows.
This is the [AREA] brigade of the Provisional IRA.
The codeword is [CODEWORD]
A bomb has been placed at [LOCATION] and will detonate at [Time]

And then they get the fucking time and place wrong.
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:52, archived)

ah, so that's where they went wrong
using "codeword" as your codeword. That's schoolboy, frankly.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

The Newry Brigade used "pink" for a long time.
That's not going to scare anybody.
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

to be fair, they are orish
to be sure to be sure to be sure.
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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

Press 1 for a nailbomb, press 2 for a masked gunman, press 3 for an incendiary device,
Press 0 to hear these options again, your deaths may be recorded for training purposes.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)

*presses 7*

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:13, archived)

I'm guessing in this instance VO
stands for Voice Over?
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WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:47, archived)

No. I'm asking about his vagina owls.

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Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:47, archived)

huh
more people than i thought have talked about vagina owls on the internet
www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=%22vagina+owls%22&meta=&aq=f&oq=
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:53, archived)

My tattoo
photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs127.snc1/5448_99855262063_628312063_2586829_3584534_n.jpg
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:38, archived)

ooh, I like

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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)

this

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jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

really?
don't you think it's a bit .... boring? it's just a lot of black ink, there's no design to it.

Unless it represents something that I don't get, of course. In tats, just because it's big doesn't make it good. IMO.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:43, archived)

haha, that's it, flex that arm... let's see that mus... oh right.
LOL
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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)

hahaha

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

brilliant haha.

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

hahahhahaha
i thought the same thing
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Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:43, archived)

you're MEEEEEEAN, gmos

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:45, archived)

I know.

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:46, archived)

not everyone is a buff superstud like you

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:51, archived)

I'm not a superstud :(

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:54, archived)

don't worry, i don't mean the horsey kind

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:57, archived)

aw :(

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

OR DO I?!?!

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:05, archived)

no, you just have some kind of muscle in your arms.
unlike that photo.
there is no muscle. i don't get it. most people at least have a bit of wanking muscle.
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)

That's shit and you've got a girls phone.

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WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)

Oh, ok.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

busy with my first black marker today then then eh?

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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)

Ha
witty.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:42, archived)

Hah, that's exactly what I thought.

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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:44, archived)

URGH A TATTOO I HATE YOU

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Lightguy hail satan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

I like it because I haven't seen it on 3,000 arms
But what does it mean?
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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:43, archived)

"look at the size of my bicep.... oh right LOL"

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:44, archived)

MOAR WANKING.

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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:44, archived)

I want to be x men but do not want to have the coloured red bit in the middle as it would hurtz

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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:46, archived)

Brilliant

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:47, archived)

foldsfive has a 'dead or alive: extreme volleyball' tattoo
i bet he regrets that
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:56, archived)

I'm sure you enjoy it, but I think it looks bland.
I'm sure it means something to you though.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:44, archived)

It means i'm poor and can't afford anything better.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:45, archived)

To be honest, that's the sort of thing worth saving up for, it doesn't rub off exactly.

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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:51, archived)

Nah I was joking, i've wanted this design for a while, I know of loads others I want
they just don't suit my circumstances right now.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:53, archived)

haha you fucking noob
Do you really have that piece of crap tattooed on you?
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WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:47, archived)

You know it doesn't come off right?

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WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:47, archived)

No, it's the mark that was left after fisting your mum.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:48, archived)

x marks the spot eh
buried treasure
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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:49, archived)

ZING

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Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:49, archived)

that explains why your arms are so small. His Mum's ridiculously loose.

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:49, archived)

My Mum only lets people fist her that don't have cliches etched into their flesh.
Also, looking at your twiglet body, I'd say she's out of your league.
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WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:50, archived)

Hahahaha
Clicking this
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Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:52, archived)

I'm kidding, I really like your X-Box tattoo
I might get one done... NOT

Think of it this way, I've been entertained by your ink, keep bringing in your failures.
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WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:52, archived)

Whatever helps you sleep.
God, people on here are a lot more insecure than i thought at first.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:54, archived)

Fantastic
attempting to take the piss out of me for something i'm rather quite aware of.
least you're giving your keyboard a rest on the keys that type 'fatties'
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:52, archived)

UPSET ON THE INTERNET
Gather round everybody, this is going to be a classic.
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WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:54, archived)

?
haha, you think i'm botherd?
and you're one to talk about flouncing.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:55, archived)

oh man,
someone needs a cuddle!
*cwtchywtchy*
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)

HE'S NOT BOTHERED
ON THE INTERNET
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WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)

STOP SHOWING ME YOUR TATTOO, I AM MORE INSECURE THAN YOU ORIGINALLY THOUGHT.

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:55, archived)

i was very tempted to do a picture of myself with that tattoo in marker pen,
but i realised i can't be bothered,
i guess the cancer is making me lazy.
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)

Stupid people are annoying.
I don't know what I am having for lunch. I didn't even realise it was lunch time.
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Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)

Doesn't that make you stupid?

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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)

no, affirming the consequent makes you stupid.

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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:46, archived)

No, it makes me distracted.

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Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:48, archived)

well you is a busy lady
of course you would forget its lunch as you sit on that park bench drinking meths.
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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

I'm having a BBQ in a few hours
Then one at my house on Saturday
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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)

if fawcett was still alive?
water from her mouth.
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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)

Or poop from her arse

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whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

I got it.

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Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:50, archived)

wasted captn bloody wasted

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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:52, archived)

well, that's what you get
for making jokes using American domestic terminology. Frankly, it didn't deserve a comment, and I've seen people killed for less.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:55, archived)

apparently she played a faucet
in a film called 'The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars'
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Garage just rang. Clutch repaired but needs new thermostat housing and brakes+disks. bill = £600 :o(

arse!
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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:43, archived)

Oh no! Is my CD ok though?
*jitters about nervously*
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Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:47, archived)

they're probably playing it whilst staging a mock-fencing duel with car aerials
rather than actually fixing my car
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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

My last service cost that much.
I feel your pain.
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:17, archived)

I might get a fuji apple or a Chinese century pear.
Has anyone heard from Furry Dinosaur lately?
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:43, archived)

the meningitis got her

if she really has got it I'm going to look a right cunt
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:53, archived)

sparked my interested
whats the role for
series/film?
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:45, archived)

Educational DVD.

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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:49, archived)

puberty or how you just noticed hairs on your balls.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

pingu

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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:51, archived)

HELLO EVERYBODY!!!!
HOW R U?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

s'up

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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

yo holmes

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:15, archived)

word to your mother

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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:18, archived)

she says hi!

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:27, archived)

give her a cwyyytchhhh

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:33, archived)

how's your cancer?

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Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

The cancer that is killing talk.

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TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:19, archived)

I R GUD

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GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:08, archived)

~~GUD~~ BABOON
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)

I'm grand

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Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:08, archived)

Spiffing thanks :)

(

SuperMatt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)

I am stuck at work in a sauna.
I am not allowed to wear shorts so I'm a tad pissed off.

I hope the cancer isn't giving you to much jip.
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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)

I'd love to have a sauna at work.

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Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:10, archived)

The sauna would be alright if I could sweat in my own choice of clothes.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)

a morris dancing outfit and a crash helmet?

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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:27, archived)

Pervert.

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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:29, archived)

i don't like saunas, jobe
they give me terrible headaches :(
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:33, archived)

fair to middling

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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)

I'm going to be honest gobbo.
I've lost a stone in the last month, without trying, but I feel as big as I've ever been.

I'm going to sign up to a local diet place, cut out all the take-aways (unless in social sitations), and hit the pool big-time.

In fact, I'll go in about 30 minuite's time.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:10, archived)

I spent the day yesterday getting my treatment, and it's shattered me.
Woo whiped-out imumume system for a few days ! (I think, I don't quite understand it).
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)

playing pool doesn't help you lose weight, Gonz.

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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)

Slimming World and Weight Watchers are cock ends

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jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:12, archived)

My mum lost about 4 stone by going to weight watchers.
But it's weight watchers before they turned into the modern weight watchers, which I hear are cunts as you said.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)

well I've been to a few different ones
and they were all about destroying your self esteem.

OMG! YOU PUT ON HALF A POUND! YOU MASSIVE FAT GIT!!

Bugger that.
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jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:15, archived)

Slimming World members are put on "food optimisation programmes"
so that'd be "a diet" then
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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:17, archived)

it's all bullshit
'I can eat as many bananas as I want, cos I'm on a green day' IT'S STILL FUCKING CALORIES YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
(

jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:20, archived)

also
banananananas aren't green.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:21, archived)

eat less
do more exercise. don't pay someone a fiver a week to tell you that.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:14, archived)

actually
if you've really no idea how to start. It's not a bad idea to go to one.

But as you say, it is exactly that. Eat less, exercise more. That's what I've been doing for the past 3 weeks and I've lost 9lbs.
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jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:17, archived)

I'm not sure where the difficulty in starting lies
with the whole "eat less" concept.

I know, like exercise, WW works for some people because of the "group shame" mentality - you're more concerned with not being embarassed about putting on weight in front of the group then you actually are about your weight - but I'm not sure that's a sensible mental state to reinforce.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:23, archived)

I meant more in what's healthy to eat
rather than eat less. I hate those diet clubs now. I've been to loads and I've always ended up feeling shit about myself, even if I'm losing weight.
(

jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:28, archived)

I tend to subscribe to the theory
that if you can't wander round a supermarket looking at fresh food and then findus crispy pancakes and Sunny D and then going "do you know, I'm stumped as to what might be healthier here" ... then possibly, possibly you should just carry on eating until you're too fat to propagate your genetic material and do the planet a fucking favour.

Then again, maybe that's just me?

/that's the point of diet clubs. lose weight due to guilt rather than desire to lose weight. tap into the weakest part of the ego at the most base level and BINGO!
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:32, archived)

yep
like I said 'cock ends'.

This time I'm on my own, doing it cos I want to and I don't miss what I've cut out.
(

jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:34, archived)

I was a healthy weight before Weight Watchers.
it messed with my head a lot. The group shame thing was not healthy at all.

/Wicca'd
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

That's the thing, I don't really know where to start.
It's one of those subjects I'm completely retarded in, there are loads of things that I think are OK, which arn't, and visa-versa.

Plus if someone was weighing me in each week, I'ld do better. I don't mind letting myself down, but not other people.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:25, archived)

Let me become your personal life coach Gonz. We can write a 2 way blog about it. It would be epic

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:27, archived)

I'd read this
Gonzos blog:

Day 1: Donkey gums made me buy and pug and told me I could take it for walks and eventually run with it to make me lose weight. YEY a dog!

DG's Blog:

*rubbing hands*

Gonzys blog:

Day 2: my pugs gone missing I spent a fortune on it

DG's Blog:

*rubbing hands* I HAVE A PUG EVERYONE LOOK AT HIM IN HIS SUPERMAN CAPE AND TOP HAT.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:30, archived)

:D
*subscribes*
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:36, archived)

Haha *click*

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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:48, archived)

Hah, YES.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:48, archived)

Plus there's tons of women in these places
they'll all want to look after you ;o)

Go for it. Even if you find you don't like it, at least you end up with all their diet plan stuff and you can carry it on, on your own.
(

jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:30, archived)

I disagree.
I did fabulously well on Weight Watchers. Then I went all ARGHMENTAL.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:16, archived)

horses for courses I suppose

(

jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:18, archived)

+ main

lolfood
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:28, archived)

take a laxative after every meal

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:18, archived)

Don't eat or drink anything sweet
That's my rule and look at me.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:24, archived)

I bet at least a stone of me is due to Relentless type drinks.
I drink them because they help my tablets, plus my tablets make me tired....but fuck that from now on.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:26, archived)

eat loads of pasta and lift weights in that case.
I want to become your life coach gonz. You'd better be coming to the CHB bash.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:28, archived)

I'll be there DG !
Check out the piss up in the park next month too, it'll be ace for you to go there =)
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)

i find the best way to weight the right weight
is to eat the same calories as you use up, if you are overweight, then eat less calories than you use up until you are the right weight.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:28, archived)

I'm happy and a little achey from the gym.

(

jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)

is this the third day rising thing?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:22, archived)

Give us a go of your pancreas.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:25, archived)

Creative MP3 players are shit
Does anyone have a macro to print a news story about the weather when it hits XX temperature, and pulls the current temperature from various hot capitols in the world?
(empty_personality, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:42, archived)

Yes
Also, I've got an iPod Shuffle. I've had it two years and I'm still figuring out how to use iTunes as it is shit and I am a mong.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:44, archived)

near top
anyone know if/when any of the iPhones will be available on other than O2 networks?
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)

I heard they were renewing their excusivity deal - it was due to run out later this year, but now that ain't going to happen.
I have no source for this, so it could be bollocks. But i'm just trying to help. That's all.
(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:10, archived)

it was rumoured they might be on Orange
but don't know for sure.

O2 are pretty good, why not go with them?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:10, archived)

cos in my case I'm already on Orange
and I can't be arsed with the whole MAC number shite to port my number, done it once from O2 to Orange and it's a pain.

Anyone got anything to say about the N97? is it gayer than Barrymore going twos up on Winton with Mooey?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)

I got my n97 on Saturday. I'm pretty impressed so far but apple are still miles ahead in terms of the interface.
However, the lovely 5 megapixel camera and 32 gig of space are excellent. Theres a firmware patch out for the n97 later that I hope will solve all the (minor) niggles I've got with it.

Bloggity blog.
foldsfive.blogspot.com/2009/06/nokia-n97.html
(

FoldsFive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:26, archived)

Cool, cheers :)
I can't decide if I'm ready to fully convert to the dark side of apple. Plus, the really annoying thing with my SPVm700 will be the same with the iPhone - that it's actually a shit phone - and I find that really frustrating, as that's what I want it for. text input on the iPhone is annoying as well.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:36, archived)

depends if you've got massive fat finger-oh wait.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:38, archived)

no, spangles
I have normal-sized fingers for a 6' bloke. You, on the other hand, are one of the snow pixies that live up Lily Allen's nose building tiny snowmen for the paparazzi to mistake for gak, and therefore you have only tiny pixie fingers.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

I have a creative Muvo 1gb in my pocket - quite decent if a little thirsty on the batteries

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:46, archived)

Oh I know the answer to this one!
It's something about bread and ice cream isn't it?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:46, archived)

i wonder if he knows bowie

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:47, archived)

Bread and butter and ice cream pudding

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:49, archived)

I can't figure out if this is an amazing or diabolical idea

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:52, archived)

it might be worth just doing the bread and butter bit, then adding the ice cream bit...
not sure how well it'd do otherwise.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:59, archived)

i have seen this happen.
they would buy the bread and butter pudding and then faced with the option of custard, cream or ice-cream...some would gravitate towards ice-cream. it is truth.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:01, archived)

all three!

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:22, archived)

no
im planning an australia trip with my friend soph. she has short hair. the end.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:47, archived)

Short hair.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:50, archived)

you has...?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:51, archived)

yes.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:54, archived)

oh my.
EDIT: phwoar.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:56, archived)

what?
I have soup.
(

jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:48, archived)

I've got some tuna that cost SEVEN FUCKING QUID

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:50, archived)

Is it magical tuna?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:50, archived)

Space tuna!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:52, archived)

It'd want to be.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:56, archived)

I'm going to eat it now
Bye
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:57, archived)

there are going to be tuna fry in front of their black and white televisions weeping as Bass Aldrin is eaten by a space monster

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:04, archived)

No
I have been for a walk in the sunshine. It was nice apart from the noise. Stupid helicopters.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:49, archived)

Yeah, I knocked up something similar for /board a few months ago
You can download it here- http://www.b3tards.com/u/bad7436b035054876c55/heatwave.php
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:50, archived)

Yep.
Here
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:53, archived)

Sorry Dobis, that's a bit to whacky for me, I don't think I would use such a script.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:54, archived)

i'll email you some bits later
I PAID YOU IN PEAS.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:00, archived)

You know what they say....
"You pay wassabi-peas, you get web developers".
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:04, archived)

and noodle shit
i'll get that tomorrow
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

Awesome =D
It's the chicken-terraki sushi from next door, that I'm after ;)
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)

no worries mi compadre

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)

OH THE HUMIDITY!

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:56, archived)

no no, creative mp3 players are decent
YOU are shit
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:56, archived)

I'm glad someone said that

(

jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:58, archived)

they are overwhelmingly meh
and refuse to work with my macbook.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)

HELLO

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

It's 24 here, according to the BBC weather,
and I'm sweating like a phone book.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

If you were GMoS for the next twenty minutes. What would your first course of action be?
I'd get in to that Kendo get up and solve some crime. That's how I'd play it.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:22, archived)

I'm going to do a bit of a dance and wander down to the sandwich shop.
You can try and replicate me, but you can't be as awesome as me.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)

*Outro Music*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:24, archived)

I'd go out into the street and tell people about doing kendo and solving some crime

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)

I'd use his superpowers to get back the 80 or so emails that have vanished from my Inbox and, it seems, the Exchange server.
Boo.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)

i'd strut down a street winking at all the girls and making them swoon
i can do this as me too, but it'd be interesting to try it while viewing everything from a different height
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:24, archived)

*Firm handshakes, Lucozade Sport, Mixed Doubles.*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

classy

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:28, archived)

My GOD I want a Lucozade.
DAMN YOU.

*Cracks open the spare change pot*
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:30, archived)

THUMBS UP!
j.photos.cx/OHGODITBITES-e8b.jpg
(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:24, archived)

NICE ATTIRE!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

oh you've seen me naked then?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

Its legs look like chow mein noodles.
:(
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

NYAH ARGH ARGH AH!

(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:31, archived)

the insides of them are where pepperamis come from

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:37, archived)

I believe a BLT baguette is in order.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

lots of wanking in front of a mirror

(

WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

OHH W!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

I'm sorry JMG
I'm only a pretend fruit, honest.
(

WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:29, archived)

*Firm handshakes and tool belts*
You don't want rumours of being a bit of a Moohalaa kicking off.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:34, archived)

Have my lunch, then make some overseas phonecalls.

(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:26, archived)

Anyone want to come slap some sense into my sister?
She's spent about £50 on tickets and travel for a gig somewhere, and is now not going, because her boyfriend wants to go to the cinema the same night.

However, she won't sell the tickets, and doesn't seem to grasp that she's losing money.

Also, how are you?
(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)

Let her lose it.
She's obviously got too much of it. Then steal it.

Edit: Also, her boyfriend's an idiot for expecting her to go to the cinema when she's going to a gig.
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:09, archived)

Does it matter what parts of our body we slap your sister with?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:09, archived)

Also, what gig?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:09, archived)

No, and I think it's Take That, but I'm not entirely sure

(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:10, archived)

Ah, so not a total waste.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

I'm being taken to a Boyzone gig soon.
I'm only going for the booze courtesy of the manwife's work.
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

I think he said 'cum slap'

(Seebeedee, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:13, archived)

What tickets?
If she is not bothered about the blatant waste of money then I might take them for free.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:10, archived)

she's not losing money, it's a sunk cost.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)

But she is not getting a return for her money

(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)

perhaps not the most financially sensible decision

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:27, archived)

Nick them off her and sell them.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)

copy them in crayon,
sell the originals, and if she challenges you later on, tell her tickets these days turn into scrawled crayon versions of themselves once the date of the gig passes.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:13, archived)

The fact that she's being domineered by her boyfrind would trouble me more than her lack of financial nous.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

Motherfucking THIS^

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:13, archived)

I bet he's knocking her about.
The bastard.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:13, archived)

Yeah, when the fuck will we all get jet packs?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:14, archived)

oh I misread your reply
I thought it was something about us having jet packs in the year 2000... 9 years late science, 9 YEARS.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:15, archived)

Oh GMOS.
FiRst the mohawk goes, then your mind.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:17, archived)

I never gave my hair the pseudonym 'Fist'
but I may now.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:18, archived)

I have no idea what you are talking about..................

(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:21, archived)

I reckon I'd look good on a jetski

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:22, archived)

I can see you on a Jetski
BUT you'd be wearing those thick lensed glasses.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

~~trouble~~ arouse
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:14, archived)

She's 16, and convinced that it's "true love"
The guy doesn't seem like a prick from what I've seen.
(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:14, archived)

point out that you can go to the cinema any time, gigs are less often.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:15, archived)

This is a very good idea.

(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:16, archived)

not so much the jetpack rant?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:17, archived)

Well I quite liked the jetpack idea, personally.

(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:19, archived)

It wasn't bad.
Needed a little more sparkle.
(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:20, archived)

the jetpack is covered in glitter. SPACE GLITTER

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:28, archived)

Oh man, she's to old for me.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:17, archived)

well if he's not a prick, and not an idiot,
he ought to be able to realise that going to the cinema on a different day isn't that much of a sacrifice, all things considered.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:17, archived)

Tell her you'll sell them for her if you can keep a percentage,
once you've handed over her share, mug her.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:16, archived)

+ break her ankle so she can't chase you.

(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:18, archived)

~~ankle~~ hymen
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:27, archived)

she's obviously a fucking idiot
my condolences. But it's her £50, let her do as she will.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:18, archived)

I'm good
just got my first tattoo.
I'm well 'ard me
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:19, archived)

What pattern and where on your body.

(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:21, archived)

Top left arm, it's 2 bars running round and cross over in an X

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)

Ooh, sounds quite nice actually.

(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:24, archived)

:) i'll put pics up when all the cream's off.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:31, archived)

Was it sore over the peak of the tricep (back of the arm)
That seems to be were a lot of people find it sore.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:28, archived)

Yeah, that was the worst bit,
was alright though, nothing you can't bear.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:31, archived)

Lunch thread?

(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)

No, it's PMQs time.

(

SuperMatt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)

Dear PM
Why oh why oh is how you spell yoyo. Do you like yoyos?
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)

Okay then

(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:04, archived)

In a bit

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:05, archived)

FOUR NAAN, JEREMY?

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)

OH INTERNET!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)

I've just found out im going to Chicago for a month!
Fuck you all, fucking fuck fuckers! aaahhh
(dildogaggins is trying to lick ones elbow!, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:00, archived)

Ta ta then

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:01, archived)

Good.
Fuck off.
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:01, archived)

Thanks!
Love you more!
(dildogaggins is trying to lick ones elbow!, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:02, archived)

Chicago?
I'm sorry to hear that. Next time try and get a nice city.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)

Great news.
_{_{_{_{_cunt}}}}
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)

Fantastic.
I've been offered the chance to write for a music magazine. It's not exactly what I want, but it's a start down my chosen career.
(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:04, archived)

Dooo it.
It sounds like fun.
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:07, archived)

I'm going to.
And then hopefully use it as a platform
(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:10, archived)

Get me a job there too.
I don't mind, whatever. Chief editor or something. Anything.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)

if i don't find someone to move into this house in headinglet - leeds by tomorrow
I won't have anywhere to live

great innit?
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)

Yeah.

(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)

You've always got somewhere to live, it's just that "Cardboard Box 1 Under Train Bridge" isn't a recognised postal address, that's all...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

Oh... sorry I took that box.
Sorry, I didn't realise someone was going to live in it.

*flies away in the boxyplane*
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:42, archived)

ah I have a Random Burn disk for you
it is on the backseat of my car which is currently in the garage having a new clutch fitted, so once I get it back I'll send it out
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)

You're sending me your car? Hooray!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)

The Random Burn disk will be far more valuable and reliable
fucking French shed on wheels
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)

DAMN YOU!
I was going to live on the moon in my Cardbaord Space Shuttle D':
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)

*hops after you with my boxylegs*
*accidentally breaks through the bottom*

Oh... You can have it now.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

The girl is paying £300 a month for a house she isn't living in up there
Good times
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

it's a fucking great con isn't it?

(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:36, archived)

Superb, and by 'the girl' I mean me and her mum

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)

Playah gettin' his grove on.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)

i fucking can't believe i have to live in fucking headingley

(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:38, archived)

I liked it when it was a scummy toilet
Now it's all cunts with the collars on their rugby shirts turned up. Tobys.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)

Maybe she can move in with Rik?
He's a good sort, definatly wouldn't leave the webcam on by accident after giving 4chan the url.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)

I'm afraid they have a full compliment for their house now

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:40, archived)

Gutted.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:38, archived)

I want a new snake.

(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)

Go to germany.
They seem to have a good range of all types from good breeders.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

*keyboard cats*

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:43, archived)

Ha ha ha

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

Enough of that shit. TELL US ABOUT WHO YOU'VE SHAGGED RECENTLY.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)

Here.
The latest to be shagged by SickRik.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

The Jehovah's Witnesses just came round.
I gave them a book.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)

lol

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)

Just cos she dance the go-go.
That don't make her a ho-ho.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:49, archived)

Just cos she eat the rolo
That don't make her a dodo
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

Even though she own a pogo.
She cannot make it gogo.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:57, archived)

Just coz she play oboe
That don't mean she can solo
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

Haha.
I've got nothing.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)

I like headingley
the amount of student pussy I got there was untrue. Also it has some great fish and chips, and some nice bars now. Gotta love the ark.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:10, archived)

"the amount of student pussy I got there was untrue"
Hey, at least he's being honest for once.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:13, archived)

Interesting priorities
imagechan.com/images/54bac71a772563ede90f8545afb6d19c.jpg

How much compensation do you demand, and for what?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:28, archived)

Depends.
For SMEs my consultancy rates are low, for bigger companies I charge more, and for oil&gas I take an awfull lot and try to get them to cover my expenses so it's off my tax line.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:30, archived)

I think it should be everyone in the world demanding compensation due to the loss of a great
So it would cost my life insurance company about £35.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)

jetskiboots, because you sat on my wellypedalos

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)

Absolutely fair. She's indirectly funding terrorism, and terrorists love to destroy planes. An advert told me.
Perhaps the Air France technician that might have been responsible for the planes failure wasn't paying enough attention to his work because he was concentrating on his torrent of X Men Origins: Wolverine, or something. He was probably an terrorist as well. And an immigrant.
/Daily Mail

I feel like marching to McGs house and demanding he give me the seven quid it cost me to watch Terminator: Salvation back. Or I might just smack him in the chops, I'm not fussed.
(

FoldsFive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)

You forgot to add a sexual orientation and a religion

(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)

I'd punch him repeatedly in the throat
until he didn't live anymore.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

Championship football live on the BBC.
www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2009/07_july/01/football.shtml

You may now carry on.

OMGFOOTBALL
(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)

Is this news?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)

Yes.

(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)

This is news!
I am currently watching the beach out of my window at the moment, the South China Sea sparkling in the late afternoon sun with Palm Tree's softly swaying, vodka ginger beer in hand! *IN AN ALCOHOL FREE COUNTRY*
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)

I'm clanging about in pots and pans

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

Sshhhhhh
The cops will hear this and I'll get busted!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

I expect to see you in a hostage beheading video within the next 5-10 years

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

Brunei
Thankfully free off Terrywrists!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

One for JMG this
hahaha

/autodig at shitty Newcastle
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)

I think the BBC should spend as much money as necessary to get one of the Premiership packages.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)

I think they should have done.

(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)

The BBC is paid for by all the households with a TV in the UK.
Football is the nation's national sport.

The nation like football, the premiership is the best example of football in the country, ergo the BBC should use our money to get this.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

*agrees*

(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

I think we should have a Top Gear channel & a Nature/ Travel Documentary Channel
Eastenders can fuck right off.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

Dave is pretty much already a top gear channel,
unless you mean programs by or chosen by Jeremy and the lads, like a good version of men and motors with those James May documentaries too.

That would be sweet.

Write to the BBC NOW
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

I mean they have to do a new episode everyday, Big Brother style :D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

In Egypt they have Discovery Science
which is basically Mythbusters / How It's Made, 24-7.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)

I FUCKING LOVE 'HOW IT'S MADE'
I'm addicted to it :D

Best program on TV.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

Me too!
It reminds me of school when zigzag used to show stuff like that
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

ZigZag!
Good lord I remember that
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:31, archived)

*moves to egypt*

(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

CLANG CLANG CLANG
I HAVE FILLED MY OFFICE WITH POTS AND PANS
CLANG CLANG CLANG
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

Pot for?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

BUILD A ROBOT SUIT

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

Good news!
Hopefully get a couple of Sheff Wed games on there.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:28, archived)

Football's for cunts..
yes, cunts. You heard me..
(dildogaggins is trying to lick ones elbow!, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 12:01, archived)

OK, what's smaller than Pico?
if I have another sprog after this one, it'll need a name.

Edit: This one just moved around, and now I really have to go to bed.

LOL GOODNIGHT THREAD!
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)

"really fucking tiny"

(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

Karlenis
Derived from the greek for "Karl" and "Penis"
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)

femto
atto
zepto
yocto
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

You forgot Harpo and Groucho

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

*whistle*
(

vladimir, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

Zepto, cooool

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)

+ xenno, weko, vendeko
although they're unofficial and I had to look them up as I couldn't remember them by heart.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:58, archived)

Here.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pico-

Femto, Alto, Zepto and Yocto.

Edit: And you. You make me broody as hell as well, Spongy.
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

Yay! HAVE ONE!

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)

No.
I'm focusing on all the icky bits to take my mind off how fucking adorable kids are. Messy nappies. Screaming at 3am. Throwing up milk everywhere. Publicly wetting themselves when they get older.

It's not helping. :(
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:55, archived)

don't forget the lasting damage they do to your clunge on the way out

(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:55, archived)

also the idea of having a child fills me with the kind of horror and disgust that cannot be described using words on the internet

(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)

Best you get your tubes tied then

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)

I usually just spunk up her back
lolsexon/talk!
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)

Yes, this is true.
I refuse to believe it's as bad as everyone says it is, though.
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)

Mine is certainly a different shape now
but MrSpong claims it's no larger than before.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)

still cavernous
hahaha, terrible bullying online
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)

:D
terrible terrible.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)

its just not right
the whole thing makes me shudder, clearly the only good bit about a baby would be the sex that made it and that only lasts 4 or 5 seconds.
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)

yeah well you probably shouldn't bother to fight it, seven billion or so humans, it seems the species isn't over-endowed with the ability to restrain itself
(

vladimir, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:01, archived)

Atto.
Unless it's a saxophone.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:55, archived)

Ooh, Pico just moved

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)

SickRik's cock.
Ha ha ha ha...!
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

blip

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

tinwhistlo

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)

Femto
then it gets into units that no-one ever uses except to show off.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)

Femto sounds too gender-specific though

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)

It sounds like a kind of alcoholic Vimto to appeal more to ladies
(

vladimir, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)

They are used in things like string theory.
The smallest distance known to man (and consequently, things smaller than that don't exist) is 10^-35m
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:55, archived)

Strictly, for the agnostics and instrumentalists,
anything smaller can't be known. But most people here are 2 x 10^-35m thick and don't care.

/physics humour, lowest of all humours.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:58, archived)

I should be getting the results of my physics degree today,
or so I've been told.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)

I'd say good luck
but it's too late.

On the other hand, until you find out your results you have a quantum superposition of all possible results. You should be able to get a job with that.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:01, archived)

Is the cat dead?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:01, archived)

It's both dead and alive.
Or alive and dead.

Or you could say that the cat has eyes and can be called an observer so it's in one state or the other but only the cat knows.

Or you could stop caring, like I did.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)

Only the cat knows.
That is my new catchphrase.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)

if it's the title of your autobiography I want some credit.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)

I will put you in the dedication at the front

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)

I think a stuffed cat might be a better choice
as it also can't KNOW it's alive or dead.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

Yeah,
but an outside observer knows it's dead.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

oh piss

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:21, archived)

Why didn't I think of that before?
Although mathematically some classifications weren't achievable.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)

such as first, 2:1 or 2:2
Lolphysicsthicky!
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)

Nah,
I already know the result of 80% of the degree.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)

bingo

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)

"Quark interactions take place over minute distances, sometimes as little as three bingometres"
I like this.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:54, archived)

Quark interactions?
Is that a posh way to say cheese spread?
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:56, archived)

hur hur hur cheese
hur hur hur spread.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)

I like to imagine a Bingometre is a measure of speed
how fast old ladies can stand up and shout 'full house'
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:57, archived)

If they're old ladies,
aren't they measured in nanometres?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)

oh you're good, oh you are good.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)

*winking fingerguns*

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)

That's the distance you have to stand away from someone
before the smell of piss and cabbage fades.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)

Pocito

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:55, archived)

Pocoyo

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)

Call it Tara

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)

Or spango.
These are measurements of small. Honest they are.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)

Only works for things very very small, ginger and irish.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)

I really couldn't believe that nobody suggested this, it must be some kind of board record
(

vladimir, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)

tarametres
are used to measure the height from which any sounds of screaming rage are emitted.

And used in medicine to measure the dimensions of bite wounds on knees.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)

I'll get the Tarameter.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:07, archived)

Pfft.
watch your knees, you.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

The chances of you having any bladder control after having all these kids.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)

*squeezes pelvic floor frantically*

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)

You've probably seen this but QOTW summed up nicely by No. 4
www.cracked.com/article_17522_6-new-personality-disorders-caused-by-internet.html

Alternatively, whats the best type of shoe?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)

Steel-toed kitchen clog.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

My shoes.
..and QOTW really must go again.
Let's start that bandwagon off.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

Birthday shoes, I'm 26 today :)

I've got a massive bin lid pinned to my top with '26' spray painted onto it.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

Happy.
Birthday.
You.
Sexy.
Young.
Whipper.
Snapper.
(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

weeeee :D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:37, archived)

Happy birthday pugface

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

fankoo twinkle p :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

happy birthday.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

ta :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

Awesome!
Happy birthday, chook. Have you got cake?
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

No :'(
I don't eat anything sweet anyway.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

Happy Birthday DG
farm3.static.flickr.com/2209/1561923713_893878c88c.jpg?v=0
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

eeeeeeeeeeee :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

what colour cake are you getting?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

invisible :(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

i2.photobucket.com/albums/y33/rhcpaul/dgbp.jpg
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

YUS! :D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

i gave that the 'personal touch'
by adding a D and a G

i hope you appreciate these efforts
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)

Brake shoe

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

I've now read the article in more depth
they must have done all their research on here. Especially the one about the person everyone hates but refuses to leave.
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:37, archived)

My sparkle slippershoes
I love them, it doesn't even feel like I am wearing shoes.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

Anything with a steel toecap gets my vote

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

Very imaginative them.
"Online [real disorder] aka [the internet nick name]"

Real Name: [the same 'real disorder' from above].
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:42, archived)

These, because I have them
astore.amazon.co.uk/mens.converse.shoes-21/detail/B000RFFFIA/278-4457374-9654258
(thediscokingpin, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:50, archived)

at the risk of being jumped on by the "girls should be cute and useless" mob,
my new walking shoes are very good for walking in, which is what shoes are for, really.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)

Hello Underclass.
How's the good ship Misery this morning then?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:27, archived)

Softball has been cancelled, JMG.

(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:28, archived)

That's for the best.
When I think of softball I see portly American housewives swinging like lesbians.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)

What do you think of baseball, JMG?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

Hmmm..
~~soft~~ base
~~housewives~~ dock workers
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)

Haha yes!
Their steroid induced muscles make their game of rounders seem pretty silly.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:38, archived)

It's actually good.
It's a charity league. With teams from 40 charities in London. We're good, I am an awesome captain. And there's loads of "fit birds" to "check out" and we drink "beer" and stuff in the "sunshine".
(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)

I'm playing cricket on Saturday, Jobey. Cricket. Imagine.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)

Goodness, that'll be fun.
I've not played cricket for ages. mrs Jobe's Dad plays for Surrey over 50s. I gather he's quite good.
(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

I'm RUBBISH.
but there will be beer, and I have been perfecting my slog-sweep on the beaches of Wales.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:50, archived)

I'll be more chirpy after a cup of coffee.

(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:28, archived)

I've taken my littlest boy to his introduction morning at big school
I feel a bit sad because he looks so small :(
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:29, archived)

don't worry, only 36% of children are crippled for life on their first day of school

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:30, archived)

:(

(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)

hahaha
awwwww I want 12o'clock to hurry up now so I can go and get him.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)

and of the remaining 64%, less than half are buggered senseless by the bigger boys
the odd are only slightly not in his favour.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)

Awwww.
Of all the b3tans out there, you're one of the worst for making me broody as fuck. Stop it plz, or I will steal a baby.
(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

Hahaha

(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

About to be sunk by the iceberg of cholesterol.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:29, archived)

I've put holes in all the other life rafts, Double R.
We best stick together to avoid being lumbered with the well padded.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

I'm in a small dark room with no windows or airconditioning and it's filled with computers and very hot lamps and george lamb is on the radio
:(
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:29, archived)

Chin up.
Nearly lunch and all that.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)

Why have they stopped showing Doctor Who reruns on BBC Three JMG?
:((((
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:29, archived)

Because it's rubbish and no one watches it.
I don't know.
Because you touch yourself at night.
Because.
It's over, they're never showing it again ever.
(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:30, archived)

all of this.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)

I managed to alienate myself from many the sweater wearing palm sweater with my comments about Dr Who on here over the years.
I'm not falling in to this trap again.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

peachy, JMG
although a little suprised that Valencia appears to be worth £16 million. Still.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:29, archived)

He's never struck me as a Champions League level player.
But Ferguson knows better than us.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

I don't rate him that highly.
This probably means he'll be awesome.
(

Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:37, archived)

sometimes, JMG, sometimes.
for every Ronaldo there's a Veron.

But then, for every Torres there are aprroximately 43 Voronins, so I suppose he does know slighty better than most.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:52, archived)

I'm pretty rocking.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)

*Nods*
*Explosions*
*Yes!*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

Pissed off, miserable and worried.
It's appraisal day for me.

Pissed off and miserable just because I wouldn't be me if I wasn't.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

HO'WAY MAN! CHIN UP!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

I've watched 3 resident evil films today.
Mila Jovovich spends a lot of her time Damp/moist/soaked. and she has very perky nips.
When was the last time you realised you were a perv?
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:16, archived)

I'm not thank you

(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:18, archived)

Hugh Jackman

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:19, archived)

Yeah', right, I saw you checkin' out all that junk, all that junk, inside my trunk.
Ooooooo, I've just realised, they're talking about swimming trunks, rather than cars.

It all makes sense now.

=/
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:20, archived)

All.The.Ladies.Been.Looking.At.My
SUGAR LUMPS
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:21, archived)

DJ Horz and the equine massive?

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:23, archived)

Brit n jermain

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:25, archived)

I'm hungry Gonzy make me some breakfast please.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:24, archived)

Eggy crumpets with extra crispy bacon and some honey?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:28, archived)

YES
But not the honey today please I have a mini bit of toothache. Nothing serious though, just a niggle.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:30, archived)

Every single song by Scouting for Girls
sounds like Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run

I Hate Both.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:20, archived)

Born to Run sucks

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:24, archived)

I spend most days at this time of year being paid to look down women's tops
I've seen more tits lately than I care to mention. I've gone tit blind.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:22, archived)

I hate you
I truly do.
(although mrs 'zuki has a fine pair that i love very much darling!)
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:26, archived)

Busted.

(

Bats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:28, archived)

Minges too
There was a lass sat on one of those salt/grit bins and I thought I'd see her drawers as we went past. She had none on. Also I'm a bit bored of seeing the paps of Ms Official Jnr's mates, it puts me in a very difficult position.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:28, archived)

you should probably take the hidden camera of her room during sleepovers, then.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:30, archived)

I very nearly typed something that could be considered immoral at best
And illegal at worst. So I won't.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

I'm glad you consider immoral to be best
sterling work there, sir.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

we're all pervs

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:26, archived)

Morning poo.
Well-formed trouts with pleasing colour and lack of odour.

9/10
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:23, archived)

girls dont poo

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:23, archived)

well we do but we poo flowers and puppies and kittens

(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:04, archived)

sounds painful

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:08, archived)

You're the reason Battersea Dogs Home is so over-stretched
and Chelsea Cat Shelter
and Fulham Flower Rescue
(

broadsword, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:09, archived)

Pimlico Poo Preservers?
Mornin'
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:15, archived)

that's a load of shit.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:22, archived)

ban the fucking thread deleters, cr3 stop wasting time reading wormulus gazzes and get modding

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:24, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/2942204
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:24, archived)

haha not quite as near the top dear badge

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

FOR. FUCK. SAKE
What is the matter with you?
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:27, archived)

Go easy dewd.
He's helping with THE LIST.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:30, archived)

Some things cannot be unseen
That put me off my sausage baguette :-(
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:33, archived)

you'd done well, there
you were in a venn diagram subset of one, that is "people on the internet who've not seen a YeehawNiggerSquirrel cock"

I'm sorry for your loss.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

ban eh
charming
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

well maybe not ban you, but a warning needs to be issued, you spoil this forum
nah fuck it, ban her cr3-po
(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:27, archived)

cr3 is not very well today
let him get some rest
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

chillax, its just a forum
/david
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

rargh! me smash tiny man. OW my head!
/goliath
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:29, archived)

it is my lifes mission to get you on the naughty step

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:31, archived)

im an alright looking bird, we dont sit on steps
jog on trolly
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:32, archived)

ahhh, but one of the mods is a queer i think
or is it all of the mods are queer? i get confused
(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:34, archived)

poovs still appreciate a nice pair.
you're getting nowhere with this campaign. stop getting upset you'll give yourself heart attack
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:35, archived)

Internet logic dictates that you are really a 48 year old balding male virgin.
Living in his parents' basement or attic.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

JMG doesn't come on until lunch time.

(

OH ZING!

(

WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)

~~lunch~~ play
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:54, archived)

What pare? You're only 15.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)

Never mind all that.
Look at my air-con outlet and inlets! I think you will find they are of regulation size and height.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

I'd put some insulation on that outlet pipe
They throw out a lot of heat.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

Top tip there.
What is the best material for such a project?
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

Similar stuff to a hot water tank jacket I'd say

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)

Blimey. That's lucky.
There some of that on a big copper thing in the airing cupboard. I'll use that to save money.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:48, archived)

Tip Top :D
Can you tell Mrs HB that I tried cutting back those shrubs and nearly broke the strimmer :P I'm going to have to borrow my Dad's brush cutter to hack it back.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:51, archived)

I saw that thread.
I shall pass on your sad news.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:52, archived)

I managed to clear about a square metre
The strimmer cable then got jammed and I couldn't open the compartment to release it and it was getting late so I gave up.

Today I've got the front garden to clear. Joy of joys :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:54, archived)

I'm choosing to read this as a 'morning poo' response

(

broadsword, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:55, archived)

My edit has made it even worse :P

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:56, archived)

hammer time?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:57, archived)

A hammer might work
The cable reel got gummed up with sap.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:59, archived)

Picking the correct size of hammer for this task
is an art in itself.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:00, archived)

I'm tempted to create a computer simulation
That way I can test the effects of various tools without damaging my strimmer.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:02, archived)

Good plan.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:06, archived)

very nice, is it a floor standing unit?

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

It is.
It's a Pro-Air 9000 but permanently fixed in.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6266902
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:27, archived)

ffs
we do NOT talk about deletion.
rubbish
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

this hobby of yours and well of deleting threads on this forum will no doubt be highlighted to the forum moderators

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

theres more than two of us
youre just jealous no one invites you to the party. go play with your /talk /twitter mates lol soz @mongy
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

you and your wonderful little online chums having a big thread deleting party eh, how great

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

poor lonely davey :(((((
also, wanton breaking of d/r rules. this is all noted
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:42, archived)

i'll have to go to more bashes so i can form my own little online army

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:55, archived)

shut up you queer
look where im going on saturday
lol goodie bags and fishing faces
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:12, archived)

You fucking whinging tart.

(

misery innit

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:27, archived)

it loves company

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

and this one, ban him as well for being utter shit in everything he has ever posted on this forum

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:27, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/stupiddares/post97389
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

she is like walter mitty
the lying troll
(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:29, archived)

hahaha
Edit:- She really is a fucking idiot
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

It's Bob Todd's bastard love child.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:47, archived)

=/
Try and find that newsletter of a guy who spunked into a cadbury's cream egg and ate it on webcam.

It was a b3tan who did it.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:55, archived)

How do you jizz yours?

(

broadsword, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:57, archived)

I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!
On webcam
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:02, archived)

oh fucking yuk

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:59, archived)

UMMGH UNNGGHH URRGH UMMGGH MURGH

(

Still to early for pooing
I prefer to wait until its resting on my spine, no chance of unnecessary pushing.
/forced the issue before and resulting pile was a lesson well learnt
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:26, archived)

Mistimed pain killers yesterday so I did yesterday's and today's around half an hour ago.
Dump 1: A large log approx 10" with a wide girth. Serious straining to allow birth.
Dump 2: Backup of loser trouts exiting under pressure of @prx 10PSi
Dump 3: TBA
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:26, archived)

loser trouts?
are they the ones that do badly in trout races?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:33, archived)

erm... YES!

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)

Did you point at them and go
'aaaaaaaghhhhh .... fucking LOSERS' ?

I would have done.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:48, archived)

Trout taunting is a popular hobby out here in the Fens.
Along with horse teasing, cow tipping and laughing at pigs.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:51, archived)

but they're well funny, pigs.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:55, archived)

And tasty. Don't forget tasty.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:59, archived)

pigs are expensive, pink and annoying. But also delicious, which is why we breed them
there might be a few more polar bears left if people wanted one for breakfast.

/Mitchell and Webb
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:29, archived)

Smothered and spread throughout my bed.
Has a paste like consistency.

Better off in the toilet

4/10
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:29, archived)

Mornin' Poo.
Don't have any reading material so took the phone in and interneted.
No lasting bite-marks on my t-shirt.
Resnable amount of grunting.
Feel only slightly nortious.
Enough quantity to make the trip worth while.
Not enough smell, but I'm hardly a good judge of that.
Two lots of toilet paper was sufficient for whipage, about 2 sheets per whipe.
Running Time, about 5 minuites.
Returnage Possability, about 70%.

Total Rating: 3/10
Gonz Avg Rating: 7/10.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:32, archived)

morning poo: fair to middling
no odour
over too quickly - no time to read magazine or play Tetris on phone
slight Neptune's Kiss on impact

7/10
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

it came out looking like a distressed molly sugden

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

Like the eiffel tower, but upside down
took ages to clean up all the tourists
(

broadsword, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

mine was like a poo
but smaller.

like my penis
(

WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:43, archived)

which you subconsciously want to put in men's bums.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:52, archived)

morning RR
it's a bit rubbish in here today
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:14, archived)

I've noticed.
Might do some work. Or burn my randomburns.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)

j.photos.cx/19K9F-151.gif
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:58, archived)

Sweet holy mother of fuck

(

broadsword, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 10:06, archived)

OH GOOD MORNING EVERYONE.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:40, archived)

It's not that good.
I've got fuckloads of work in today. That's Fuckloads. Slightly more than shitloads and slightly less than a shed full.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:44, archived)

At least your bed is not full of shitloads.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:48, archived)

:(

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:48, archived)

'Ning
Bloody workshop is already 28deg, Thank fuck i have my own office.
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:46, archived)

Yeah but at least your bed doesn't contain 37deg shit.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:49, archived)

you got some of that sweet aircon in that office?

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:49, archived)

Hell yeah
It's a LG Jet Cool Green, currently set to 19, its a bit parky, might turn it up in a minute
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:51, archived)

that sounds very good indeed, 19 is a bit nippy, try 21, very humid today too so plenty of work for the condense pump, great times

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:56, archived)

Hello

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:48, archived)

You wouldn't be saying that if you saw how much shit was in my bed.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:49, archived)

Uh huh

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:51, archived)

International market this weekend, innit.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:00, archived)

Really?
Ace.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:01, archived)

Yup
You can have your fill of hot foreign sausage.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)

Is that what you will be doing?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:10, archived)

He bleaches it white before he eats it.
Then he can pretend it's not foreign.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

You can't tell through all the batter anyway.
Hahahha, mykey has a higher average BPI than most people, hahaha, he's technacly more prone to weight related illnesses such as Heart Desease and Diabieties than someone with a more healthy weight-to-height ratio, hahahhaha.

What a gaymoid !
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)

pfft! 'gaymoid'
like it
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)

Mykey has a higher than average
Base peak intensity?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:31, archived)

Definitly

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)

good morning mike woz ere, good morning everybody

(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:48, archived)

It's not a good morning until I've cleaned up this shit from my bed.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:50, archived)

you checked the shower?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:51, archived)

I had to go in to dowse the shit from my arsehole.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:53, archived)

deja lol

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:55, archived)

look, yeah
stop deleting stuff!
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)

just roll it all up and bin it
that's what i do
(

mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:51, archived)

morning :)
working from home which = responding to emails on the blackberry whilst sunbathing on the terrace wooooooooot! :D
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:58, archived)

Make sure you don't shit the sunbed.
It's easily done.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:59, archived)

Why are you so obsessed with poop this morning?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:04, archived)

Maybe because he shit the bed?
He's probably worried he'll be put in an old folks' home.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:10, archived)

I think he should probably be put down

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

Why, your arms getting tired?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

badum-tish
your sig. mooney suzuki, innit?
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:30, archived)

morning bedshitter

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:04, archived)

It could have happened to any of us.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)

but it didn't.
it happened to YOU
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:09, archived)

it always happens to him.
he has "problems"
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:11, archived)

i think it's brave of him to struggle on each day
it must be hard with his myriad "problems"
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

Panic on the Streets of Humdrum

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:15, archived)

Panic on the Sheets of My Bed

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:17, archived)

Panic on the interwebs
A huge chunk of this post just vanisherised
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)

Yeah but at least no more beds have been shat.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:22, archived)

Are you sure?
That lot from the west country are confuzzled enough as it is by pixels. To see something like that just vanish will be like black magic to them.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:24, archived)

it was rosalicious
she has deleting "problems"
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:23, archived)

youre like some sort of joy killer
killer of lulz
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

YOU KILLED MY CHILDREN

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:47, archived)

INTERNET
farm4.static.flickr.com/3605/3633752862_d2a463fdca_o.jpg
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 5:29, archived)

If she got shut of the tattoos I might

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:41, archived)

I'll inform her of your terms and see if her people come back with an offer

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:50, archived)

Good work
How do you expect to claim your 15%?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:52, archived)

how do you expect her to fit her toe thumbs up your flappy wizened sphincter?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:55, archived)

A bit of spit on the end
Traditional
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:58, archived)

Hahahaha. I'm still laughing from the last time someone posted that on our forum
Somebody even had the wit to suggest that the photo was of a b3tan!
Classic stuff.
(

WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:49, archived)

OMG wormulus posting criticism in responce to a shit Gilgamesh thread
UPSIDEDOWN LAND!!!!
(

WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:50, archived)

Was the ponce bit ironic?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:53, archived)

I'm going with that.

(

WormuIus, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

You rang?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:20, archived)

BLOCKED.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:54, archived)

It's a chubby kid offering a rose to a skinny bird.
Acting as some sort of metaphor for ... something or other.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:59, archived)

It's a pictorial representation of how I imagine Bou's gazzes to you read.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:00, archived)

She's following me on Twitter, you know.
I don't do twitter ... but you have to admire the effort.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:02, archived)

I don't Twitter either.
Well, I say 'don't'.

I did, for about 30 minutes.

It was like this place, only with a a new thread by Friz, SexFace or Planearm every 5 seconds.
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:07, archived)

i think they were the only ones who actually didnt

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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:14, archived)

Well no, they'd never have the limelight for long enough.
Someone actually said in all seriousness 'that was the most fun on here since 6million post day' - what, the day when Karl, Friz and Sexface had an attention -off?

www.b3ta.com/talk/6260349

Jesus.
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:18, archived)

hahaha "most fun"
sad sad times
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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:21, archived)

I'm blaming the weather for the recent week or so's particularly poor standard of /talk-based internet.
All the amusing people with lives and things to say are out enjoying the sunshine, all the clayskinned lunch discussers are still indoors, moaning about how hot it is, as opposed to winter, when they complain about the cold.
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:24, archived)

I'm pretty sure I only posted about 3 times that day.
And got lucky at one. If you have an issue with me, take it up on gaz.
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WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:32, archived)

*chants*
fight fight fight
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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:37, archived)

I did Twitter
cos I thought Stephen Fry might have some amusing witticisms on life, but he was duller than me.
Now I just post the mad shit my kids come out with instead and don't bother following anyone.
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DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:18, archived)

im not a big fan of stephen fry
im pretty sure i stand alone but i just dont get it
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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:39, archived)

i feel so out of the loop man

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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 8:00, archived)

Wow!
Is anyone else up who can hear some pretty spectacular thunder and lightening right now?
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Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:27, archived)

what is it getting lighter than?

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:30, archived)

can you not hear it?

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Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:31, archived)

yes, I can't

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:31, archived)

I'm going to work in a minute, I don't want to get struck down

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Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:34, archived)

You'll just get up again
Ain't never gonna keep you down
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:37, archived)

I heard it makes you immortal probably

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:39, archived)

it's ok
it seems to have stopped now
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Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:42, archived)

at least we have this great thread to remember it by
we'll always have that
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:43, archived)

Been pissing down with rain over here for about a week & /half.
Still, saves on my going out to water the garden and hose the dog.
au.weather.yahoo.com/ASXX/ASXX0089/index_c.html
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 5:50, archived)

BEST.STORM.EVER

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executiverocker only wears C&A, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:04, archived)

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