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# b3ta interview: request for questions
Joey Skaggs is 'America's most notorious socio-political satirist, media activist, culture jammer, hoaxer, and dedicated proponent of independent thinking and media literacy,' or at least that's what it says on his website. Active since the mid 1960's, his triumphs include the promotion of Dog Meat Soup, a celebrity sperm auction, and performances with John Lennon and Yoko Ono. We're interviewing Joey, so check out his website for some background and add your questions to this thread. Woo.
(I helped save b3ta! Fraser has joined the Moomins., Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:06, archived)
# Who's better
Adam Hart-Davis or Fred Dibnah?

(edit) This question was originally asked by Mosschops on m3ss3ng3r
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:08, archived)
# now thats a question.
(I helped save b3ta! Happyperson, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:11, archived)
# it is
and i thought it up all by myself and i'll fight anyone who says different
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:13, archived)
# it's not
a question
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:14, archived)
# dem's foightin' wurds
.
(grampski, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:39, archived)
# READ THIS!
the snopes website gives a readable overview of the man and his work
www.snopes.com/critters/edibles/dogsoup.htm
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:40, archived)
# this was on m3ss3ng3r
Bedknobs or broomsticks?
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:19, archived)
# Question:
how many zits have you burst on other people's faces?
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:08, archived)
# Yoko Ono's really shit, isn't she?
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:09, archived)
# is
Yoko ono REALLY a man?
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:09, archived)
# no retorical questions please
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:10, archived)
# Did you
Photoshop the pooping dog yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! OldWhit, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:09, archived)
# What is your favourite type of spoon?
.
(Mr_Bobbins, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:10, archived)
# Me!
I'm everyone's favourite Spoon
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:12, archived)
# Are you
suitable for measuring out cake ingredients?
(Mr_Bobbins, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:13, archived)
# oh yes
though my cakes usually come out like biscuits
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:16, archived)
# Mabye it's some kind of
measuring error?
(Mr_Bobbins, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:26, archived)
# Jaffa?
(I helped save b3ta! Purple Martin is board sigless, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 2:43, archived)
# Have you had any amusing experiences involving spoons?
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:14, archived)
# Only
blackened spoons
(Mr_Bobbins, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:20, archived)
# Do you
Poke badgers with spoons?
(I helped save b3ta! SarahRatt, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 22:24, archived)
# Easy
everybody knows that the spoons they give you for rice and stuff in chinese restaurants are the best spoons. It's got to be something much more pertinent, like "What is you least favourite type of spoon?"
(bustab, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 15:07, archived)
# what colour is purple?
(snitchell, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:10, archived)
# How many woodchucks
Can Edward Woodward chuck?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:11, archived)
# The revolution has come
who will be first against the wall?
(goat thinks you're shit, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:12, archived)
# Thom Yorke
Of course.
(Zodiac, Fri 25 Jul 2003, 3:06, archived)
# Does it ever occur to you
that you may be wasting your life?
(I helped save b3ta! 0% Interest Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:13, archived)
# hahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:14, archived)
# Important political question
Regarding the socio-economic struggles within post war Iraq and the fact that the trans-atlantic protagonists may be harbouring political and economic agendas for themselves, my question to you, is what is your favourite flavour ice cream?
(I helped save b3ta! OldWhit, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:14, archived)
# that
must be included!!! yay!
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 20:55, archived)
# my 7 year old
said chocolate....



or toffee
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 20:57, archived)
# Given that the universe is infinite
and that everything is infinite
how many times have you watched porn?
and how many times was the porn:
1) Heterosexual
2) Homosexual (men)
3) Homosexual (women)
4) Mutliple partners
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:17, archived)
# "Given that the universe is infinite" ...
That's not a given round here, matey.
(I helped save b3ta! 0% Interest Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:33, archived)
# ah yes
but i was just stating it as an assumption for the question

If he's smart he'll say, "since the universe is infinite, theferfore I have watched them an infinite number of times"
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:50, archived)
# Or, ...you could say that
...if the porn is infinite and the time I have spent watching it is infinite then I have not yet finished watching it and therefore have not yet watched porn once...
(jamena, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 17:21, archived)
# Have you ever considered
that all the problems in the world could be solved if everyone stopped wearing underwear?
(goat thinks you're shit, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:17, archived)
# Do you think
There would be more problems in the world if everyone wore tight fitting underwear?
(I helped save b3ta! OldWhit, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:19, archived)
# Is it possible to know what
snot smells like?

/edit
(I helped save b3ta! Sn0tters ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:18, archived)
# Which would you prefer:
Death by cottage cheese, or death by colslaw?
(snitchell, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:18, archived)
# Have you ever slapped a polititcian?
If so, why? If not, why not?
(goat thinks you're shit, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:19, archived)
# If you really are
"America's most notorious socio-political satirist, media activist, culture jammer, hoaxer, and dedicated proponent of independent thinking and media literacy," Why have I never heard of you before?
(I helped save b3ta! jsut peopel, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:20, archived)
# America
doesn't have that many satirists.

(They're better at parody).
(I helped save b3ta! flying squirrel, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 16:24, archived)
# And that's an example
of irony.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Prof. Pixel Masher I made this!, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 18:23, archived)
# Do you think
that putting pineapple on pizzas is wrong?
(Dufflecoat, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:22, archived)
# have you ever considered
working with the chuckle brothers?
(psausage76, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:22, archived)
# Were you upset when the Queen Mum died?
Or did you laugh and drink some gin?
(goat thinks you're shit, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:24, archived)
# Q:
Have attitudes in New York changed much since the 60s? What still annoys you most about it (if anything)?
(fiver_til_friday, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:25, archived)
# Can I have your pants?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:27, archived)
# Do those people who say
"if you remember the sixties you weren't really there" need a good slap, or what?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:27, archived)
# What makes a good scam work?
What's the secret to getting people's attention?
(I helped save b3ta! Fraser has joined the Moomins., Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:28, archived)
# What
is a culture jammer and is it painfull?
(I helped save b3ta! Nath, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:28, archived)
# What does it say on your
passport under "occupation" and what would you like it to say?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:31, archived)
# Heres a fishy question
Whats you favourite type of fish?
(Dufflecoat, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:31, archived)
# Your name is an anagram of
Keg gas joys.
Discuss.
(I helped save b3ta! Nath, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:32, archived)
# could also
be an anagram of

"saggy jokes"

:)
(jamena, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 17:43, archived)
#
Which type or brand of coat do you think is best for flashing people with?
(Dufflecoat, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:33, archived)
# Which one of your
many pranks has given you the most satifaction?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:36, archived)
# I've been stuck here for months
How the hell do I get out?
(I helped save b3ta! Sn0tters ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:36, archived)
# If you could do a prank
safe in the knowledge that you could get away with it.... what would you do?
(I helped save b3ta! @man move along, nothing to see here on, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:40, archived)
# Has the advent of the
internet helped in making pranks easier to achieve.
And can you help me phrase my questions more correctly.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:40, archived)
# the 'fat squad' sounds quite handy
you could probably run that as a sucessful business nowdays. Have you done any scams you wished you'd made into real ventures?

What was your favourite scam?

What's been your inspiration?

Have you heard of the Monkeyman scam that was done over here? What d'you think?

Isn't it weird that peole eat cows and cute little piggies and fluffy lambs but go mental if you mention dogs?

You know the weapons of mass distruction?
were they a hoax set up by you?

A friend told me recently about a news story in New Zealand where a man of asian origin was refused a room in a hotel, because he'd probably just cook curry in his room or something (they seemed to think all people of asian persuasion do that). Maybe you should take a trip to NZ and do some kind of scam there along the lines of Korean dog soup. Or... maybe not.



(I helped save b3ta! pep, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:42, archived)
# I'd just like to point out
that that was one dodgy hotel proprietor near Whangarei a few weeks ago.
Not representative of other New Zealanders.
We're lovely, really.

My mother had this idea that we should all go down there, rent rooms, and cook curries in them, just for jolly.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 22:56, archived)
# curry
Mmm... curry...
(minke, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 9:04, archived)
# Celebrity Sperm Bank
is a great name for a reality TV show. Have any of your ideas been taken up by others attempting to make money from them?
(I helped save b3ta! Fraser has joined the Moomins., Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:46, archived)
# What are the main
differences between the Britsh and American press, and who are the easiest to deceive?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:47, archived)
# How long did it take you to come up with...
"America's most notorious socio-political satirist, media activist, culture jammer, hoaxer, and dedicated proponent of independent thinking and media literacy," and what is a culture jammer?
(shoe pastry, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:49, archived)
# I reckon
a culture jammer is a lid that they put on those petri dishes
(jamena, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 17:49, archived)
# When those silly americans
were throwing you down stairs, destroying your replica crosses, hurling abuse at you and physically abusing you during those easter sunday performances, did it ever occour to you to move the performance to a country that would be less damaging to your health?

Also did your stunt infront of the U.S treasury building with the mighty brazier cause the stock exchange to close its doors? Michael Moore and Rage against the machine managed to do that you know!
(not_a_monkey, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 10:53, archived)
# Have the media become more or less credulous over the years?
Do they see through your creations, yet run the story anyway?

Did you manage to steal any of the marble tiles from the Spanish Art Museum. They look very nice.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:04, archived)
# What is a hot spot not?
You have been described as a "royal pain in the ass" - how does it feel to be compared to Prince Philip's piles/donkey?
(I helped save b3ta! anno domini hiatus, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:05, archived)
# are you hot
or not?
(shiftClick shifts it., Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:05, archived)
# Arthur?
or Martha?
(shiftClick shifts it., Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:06, archived)
# Are you 'the wind'
or 'the sail'?
(shiftClick shifts it., Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:07, archived)
# If the phrase "once you pop, you can't stop" is true
why do Pringles tubes have lids?
(shiftClick shifts it., Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:08, archived)
# That
is a fantastic question.
(I helped save b3ta! St3cks, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:04, archived)
# How about:
"Is that a fantastic question?"
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Prof. Pixel Masher I made this!, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 14:19, archived)
# Does Joey skagg?
(Maels, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:13, archived)
# Liked the crucifixions
Why did you give them up, did you get a slipped disc or were you just fed up of being beaten by the police?
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:16, archived)
# What's the worst thing in the world today?
What about tomorrow?
(I helped save b3ta! Herr Tezcat, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:33, archived)
# Who are your heroes?
Tell us a joke.
Do you earn a living from this stuff?
Is your mother proud of you?
Tell us something suprising about John Lennon.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:39, archived)
# I understand from your site
that you feel that all your pranks should somehow make some kind of political or social statement. However, I got the impression that in a lot of cases the statement was quite nebulous, especially in cases where you seized upon an opportunity. Would you accept this criticism? Do you have an agenda before every prank?
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:47, archived)
# Do you ever do a prank just for the sake of it?
Or must everything have some socio-political statement behind it?




Do you like marmite?
(I helped save b3ta! jonas is not my name, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:53, archived)
# Do you like
Mindpiss?
(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 12:34, archived)
# question
did you used to wind up the kids at school like you do with celebrities now?
(AndyboyH, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:56, archived)
# Have you ever seen any of Chris Morris's work?
Does satire still have the capacity to change anything? Or are you preaching to the converted?

Do you vote? What's your take on 911?
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 11:57, archived)
# Marmite?
Or Bovril?
(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 12:12, archived)
# Question
what came first, the chicken or the egg?/the egg or the chicken?
(little minx, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 12:12, archived)
# The egg
It has very little self control.
(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 12:20, archived)
# should I quit
my part time job in the credit card call-centre, ignore my degree in I.T. & retrain as a physiotherapist?

(I helped save b3ta! parsley, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 13:19, archived)
# How many beans make five?
How many feathers on a thrush's throat?

Do you remember er.......

Ah! How many beans make five?

Have you tried one of my meat biscuits?

Whats the best way of writing a farting type noise? eg. 'PARP!!'
(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 13:35, archived)
# do you need
some music codes?
(cheebatv, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 18:07, archived)
# Er...
go on then, you've talked me into it. What are they? and do i have to pay?

Oh, and would i get arrested for having some?
(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 0:27, archived)
# Hello!
What are your opinions on Michael Moore and his work? Do you think America needs to be 'woken up' by people like you and Moore, more than other countries?
(I helped save b3ta! HappyBadger, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 13:42, archived)
# What noise
does Chewbacca make when he's being sick?
(I helped save b3ta! OldWhit, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 13:52, archived)
# Have you ever disguised yourself as a women for a hoax
and did it work?
(nospoon The Olympigs would have been more entertaining., Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:03, archived)
# Bourbon
or Digestive?
(Rigorous mortician1, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:03, archived)
# Has
a monkey ever touched a whale?
(alfie nokes, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:17, archived)
# hehe
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:26, archived)
# Fnar, fnar...
That's the sort of question that does funny things to your head.
(PsiPhi, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 17:31, archived)
# I know someone
Who has touched both a whale and a monkey.

Hope this helps!
(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 11:59, archived)
# Re: The Final Curtain
Would you choose to be buried, cremated or just thrown in a big pit and covered in lime ?
and would you have any kind of monument ? what would it be ?
(Redbull_(UK) pfffft, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:20, archived)
# in the Itchy & Scratchy CD-ROM.
Is there a way out of the mystic dungeon without using the wizard's key?
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:25, archived)
# Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of B3TA must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
What is your name?

What is your quest?

What is your favourite colour?
(I helped save b3ta! OldWhit, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:29, archived)
# Who the hell
are you?
(NoToRiouS, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:32, archived)
# Once, right
I put a bucket on a door and it fell on teacher, then she sat on a drawing pin, it was the best.

Can you decipher my intentional and brilliant social commentary?
(I helped save b3ta! Shakmaaaaa!, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:39, archived)
# Why should we believe any of this?
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:45, archived)
# Or: Could you do the UK media next PLEEEASE?
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:46, archived)
# ...
1) Who are you?
2) Can I have some cheese?
3) Do you like bananas?
(I helped save b3ta! so long and thanks for all the fish, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 14:46, archived)
# The media
a) lazy hacks desperate to fill column inches / programming time with any old rubbish

b) sinister 1984-style government plot to brainwash the masses?
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 15:16, archived)
# You must choose
spending the rest of your life on a train packed with french people or spending the rest of your life sandwhiched between two sumo wrestlers in a sauna
(Squidge, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# surely
the former would be fine, since the french are generally courteous and polite.
It's the English who are tossers on public transport
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 12:26, archived)
# Hmm
You may have a point there...

Then again, from my experiance the english keep themselves to themselves on the rails
(Squidge, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 13:04, archived)
# Daddy or chips?
it had to be asked.....
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
#
if that choice is made into a full question, considering what they are advertising...
"would you rather eat daddy or chips"
things start to get rather worrying...
(jamena, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 17:58, archived)
# Which is harder...
..a bear or a tiger?
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# depends what they are made out of.
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# Jesus or Mohammed
Which one in an arm wrestling competition?
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# Would you take a bullet for anyone?
(I helped save b3ta! timothycrippins, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# .
*In your opinion, is the world getting a better or a worse place?
*When did you realise that father christmas wasn't real? How did you react?
*Would you rather be regarded as an artist or a comedian?
*What's the most work you've ever put into a stunt which was unsuccessful?
*Would you rather come back as an animal or a person after you die?
*Do you think with image manipulation and what not, that there'll come a time when proving something is real is as hard as pulling off a hoax?
*If you had the following: a shark, a helicopter, a marine and a bridge - what hoax could you do with them?
*What is the weirdest conspiracy theory which you believe there to be some truth in?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 16:01, archived)
# boy V. shark
Will a boy ever be born who can swim faster than a shark?


(homage to Gareth)
(DrTchock reporting live from the White Chocolate Farm, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 16:08, archived)
# another
daddy or ships?
(DrTchock reporting live from the White Chocolate Farm, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 16:09, archived)
# is it art?
or is it satire?
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 16:10, archived)
# I once pissed in someones shoes after they annoyed me.
Does this make me (Please select one):
A. Notorious socio-political satirist
B. Media activist
C. Culture jammer
D. Hoaxer
E. Dedicated proponent of independent thinking and media literacy
F. Filthy Bugger!
(I helped save b3ta! Muzz, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 16:30, archived)
# Do you have any pranks
you still haven't been found out on?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 16:41, archived)
# When the "art attack" installation was vandalized
was this a crime, or could it be considered part of the art exhibit, as it highlighted some important points about human nature and interaction?
(Frezedriedelvis, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 16:49, archived)
# should ketchup be...
a. Put at the side of a dish
or
b. Squirted liberally over the top
(Zoinkid, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 16:59, archived)
# Another question.
What is thy bidding, my master?
(Squidge, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 17:13, archived)
# shoebox?
(I helped save b3ta! verbal, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 17:51, archived)
# how do i motivate myself to get some f**kin work done?
.
(cheebatv, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 18:00, archived)
# Joey Skaggs Saggy Jokes
why did you agree to do this interview
and
do you regret it now you have

(jamena, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 18:02, archived)
# 1,2,3...
Pink or Brown?
(Ash_Pow is now available in extra medium, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 18:11, archived)
# arp
How many other foods/household objects do you think President Bush has choked on?
(I helped save b3ta! Umojan, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 18:33, archived)
# two questions
1. Do you always go for impact, or do you sometimes enjoy a simple little hoax - like innocently inventing the fictional delinquent youth pass time of bin-sniffing and watching it reported as fact periodically for the last five years?

2. Do you want a Jaffa Cake? They're a'right.
(I helped save b3ta! coco, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 19:10, archived)
# Question for Joey
You're recognised as pretty much "The King" of hoaxes and scams / getting media attention and the like. Is there a particular hoax/scam/general mischief that got results you didn't at all expect???
(original_b_boy, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 19:16, archived)
# Finish this sentence:

You know you old when...
(Ash_Pow is now available in extra medium, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 19:42, archived)
# Finish this sentence:

You know your old when...
(Ash_Pow is now available in extra medium, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 19:43, archived)
# you
repeat yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 21:19, archived)
# you
repeat yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Prof. Pixel Masher I made this!, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 14:16, archived)
# I would
Would you?
(I helped save b3ta! Chupacabra owes me ten quid, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 20:12, archived)
# .
Do you know the way to San Jose?
(AblahamRincon, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 20:18, archived)
# spit or swallow?
mcdonalds or burger king?
doggy or missionary?
give or take?
can you tell i'm horny?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 21:26, archived)
# Does it cheapen your message....
.... if you have to explain it, what it is, and why you do it? (ref, the dogma section of your website) Shouldn't your work stand on it's own merits for the public to embrace or disgrace at their own pleasure. This is me speaking as one whose feeble work posted on b3ta usually is ignored, but it just makes me try harder.
(nordicapollo, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 21:29, archived)
# Q.
What's the colour of money?
What's the colour of money?
Don't tell me that you think it's green
when you know it's red...
...or is it?
(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 22:21, archived)
# Are you the
root of all evil?
(Armer Farmer, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 22:28, archived)
# which is better...
Battenburg cake or world peace ?
(I helped save b3ta! arniie 18 years a b3tan this year!, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 23:00, archived)
# Are you really Joey Skaggs?
Or is this another of your scams?

And which is your favourite nipple?
(Fido Dido, Wed 23 Jul 2003, 23:34, archived)
# How much of what you read in the newspapers
do you believe?
(I helped save b3ta! Fraser has joined the Moomins., Thu 24 Jul 2003, 0:23, archived)
# You say that journalists are irresponsible and the public gullible.
I guess you'd like to see this changed. Then why perpetuate the trend, by trying to fool journalists into printing stories that the public will accept as fact? And whose fault is this?
(I helped save b3ta! Fraser has joined the Moomins., Thu 24 Jul 2003, 0:30, archived)
# The best hoax ever.
What is it?
(I helped save b3ta! Fraser has joined the Moomins., Thu 24 Jul 2003, 0:30, archived)
# What's your favorite kind of cheese?
.
(I helped save b3ta! Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 0:52, archived)
# Mr.Hoaxer...
When you die do you think people will take your death seriously or think it's a hoax?
(Fiz, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 1:30, archived)
# Er
Will my penis really grow larger if I use herbal remedies purchased over the internet?
(I helped save b3ta! Jalu, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 1:57, archived)
# your website is shite
yet you claim to work in the media. discuss
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 8:03, archived)
# are you really joey skaggs
or someone sent in his place?
(I helped save b3ta! shavedchimp something something oranges something, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 10:03, archived)
# Does a website such as B3ta count as media?

And if so, would you try to jam/hoax/activate/satirize/indepently-think us in any way shape or form?


Not that I'm suggesting such a thing. We've got our eyes on you you know - and that's a lot of very strange eyes...
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Prof. Pixel Masher I made this!, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 12:08, archived)
# If a ten stone man
eats a 12 ounce steak, but does a 8 ounce shit, how much does he weigh?
(I helped save b3ta! Farmfoodsman, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 13:15, archived)
# I'd love to follow in your footsteps, but ...
How can you pay the bills and be an altermative performance artist at the same time ?
(anat0010, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 13:43, archived)
# can monkeys swim?
Wilf Lunn reckons they can, but im not sure.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 14:07, archived)
# who would win a flight between spiderman and batman?
Who would you rather be trapped in a garage with. Macguyver or the A-team?

What would be you prefered method of transportation - a space hopper or a hobby horse?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 14:12, archived)
# why do birds
suddenly appear?
(I helped save b3ta! coco, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 15:20, archived)
# Sorry to be such a moody-kex
but I had a look at his site and I felt like asking "have you ever done anything funny?"

:( sorry
(redbrickterrace, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 16:56, archived)
# I'll try my luck
Do you feel there are differences in American and British comedy?

Do you think that satire is acceptable during wars and "terrorist attacks" or that this makes it even more appropriate?

Do you have any ideas on how to build an electric guitar from scratch?
(I helped save b3ta! Whillow, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 17:12, archived)
# I'll try my luck
Do you feel there are differences in American and British comedy? Which is funnier?

Do you think that satire is acceptable during wars and "terrorist attacks" or that this makes it even more appropriate?

Do you have any ideas on how to build an electric guitar from scratch?
(I helped save b3ta! Whillow, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 17:15, archived)
# all you need
is a 2m.x1m.x20cm. block of composite steel, and a handful of nickels.

scratch away.
(I helped save b3ta! Rainman, Fri 25 Jul 2003, 2:18, archived)
# Chris Morris:
God, or something more advanced?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 17:19, archived)
# ?
who would win a naked mud-wrestling match between Steve Irwin and Mr T?
(balls, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 19:09, archived)
# Tag.
Is there a point at which art making play at the rather low quality and media-fueled world of shock art becomes its own artistic entity?

If intent doesn't seperate a genuine from false artistic expression (as art patrons reacting to their purchases of faked shock art peices from a false movement [contrived by a single schennaniganer] "Neo Quadralism" said), is there any difference between doodie julie and any other dungsmeart peice of canvas?

Methinks you should get a grant. Take that, Andres Serrano.
(I helped save b3ta! Rainman, Thu 24 Jul 2003, 21:16, archived)
# Given what you've seen in the news nowadays...
What percentage of newscasters would you like to shag?
(Digitdean: Disappointing Fans Since 1989!, Fri 25 Jul 2003, 0:06, archived)
# Have you
ever said the word "Boner" and sniggered?
(Peripheral Visionary, Fri 25 Jul 2003, 1:04, archived)
# Next year ...
... will be the thirty-fifth anniversary of the last time you did something worthwhile ... how do you intend to celebrate?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 25 Jul 2003, 10:54, archived)
# q.
Given that we're moving into "a tabloid culture",(quote from your site) and the press is ever more news hungry, and willing to exploit the terrifying and strange for ratings, do you ever wonder if your own existence is a hoax? If you do exist, will people ever believe you're dead?

(ok, so thats two questions)
(BeAst - did it wrong on:, Fri 25 Jul 2003, 11:02, archived)
# your pranks are often
very intricately worked out and greatly prepared. do you ever just do stupid ones like saying "your shoe's untied" and then kicking someone up the arse?
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Fri 25 Jul 2003, 11:19, archived)