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# I'm arsing about with skin tones and stuff today

I'm still learning the best way to swap face onto face - any tips?
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:14, archived)
# What program are you using?
Exposure and Levels. And Ctrl U for Hue and Saturation.

Edit: In Photoshop that is.
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:15, archived)
# am using
GIMP - cos it's free.

Edit: Oh OK...cheers
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:16, archived)
# Ah, never used it.
Photoshop is 'free' if you're immoral.
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:17, archived)
# I
am immoral, and impatient...hate waiting for torrents.
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:18, archived)
# usenet
(I helped save b3ta! printmeister http://tinyurl.com/c8s8fd5 for titanic T's, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:19, archived)
# Get yourself signed up with one the private trackers.
The speeds are top notch.

Such as Bitsoup.
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:20, archived)
# What
about adding noise to modified areas? Results good or bad?
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:24, archived)
# Depends on your ability, I guess.
I'm a bodger so what I think looks okay might look shite to a pro.
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:28, archived)
# Okay, Manley's tips:
Cut out the face, far too large. Choose one which is facing in a similar direction or you're never going to win. (obviously it can be rotated, but you'll not get a profile onto a full frontal (phnarr!)).

Turn down the transparency of your pasted on face. Now you can manipulate it until the eyes on your face match those of the face below. It may make sense, if there is hair etc, to also squidge the face or stretch it, that's at your discretion.

Make your face opaque again. Cut off as much as you can without showing the features below. If you have a particularly wrinkly man you may wish to keep the wrinkles, etc, but generally it is easier if you keep the jowls, ears, etc of the original face. Clearly this isn't always possible, but it's easier. If impossible a headswap may be better?

Realise that the shadows on your new face do not match the lighting in the image. Fuck that face off and find another, cursing Manley for not mentioning this at the beginning when he was banging on about profiles. Find better face and repeat previous steps.

Fiddle with the levels, curves, contrast, brightness and saturation until your face pretty much exactly matches (I keep the edges fairly sharp for this so that it is more obvious when the tie in).

Feather your edges. Where they remain obvious use a very gentle stroke tool to splurdge them.

On the original image use the smudge tool to remove all the features from the underlying face. Keep the colours the same (shadow, etc) but utterly obscure definition.

Lower the opacity of the new face until you are happy (this ties it in better, but usually is around 90% or so).

Flatten the image.

Burn a couple of shadows across the face (and add some highlights) to further tie in the two images.

Post on B3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:25, archived)
# Nice
that'll learn me well
(I helped save b3ta! Insane Maniac musically inclined (about 45°), Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:29, archived)
# Sadly, face swaps do become ridiculously joyless after a while.
I made a few and chuckled away to myself, in particular the paul daniels / debbie Mkgee ones, but now I find them to have lost some of their charm - it's always best when something is really hard.

So Jim says, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:32, archived)
# Ta
muchly. You be a good person
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:30, archived)
# Thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:32, archived)
# This is probably the best 'shop I've ever done. NSFW
img261.imageshack.us/img261/4772/2815kl8.jpg
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:33, archived)
# just looking
at both PnP'S one there, and Pedantichrist's Paul and Debbie image - and am humbled. I will flagellate myself at your feet now...
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:35, archived)
# ARGH.
ARGH.




why?!
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 16:03, archived)
# *steals your knowledge*
Thanks!
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:32, archived)
# Head swapping...

...almost as fun as kitten shopping.
(I helped save b3ta! jabberpook, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 16:19, archived)
# shopped pictures only, please
. .
(I helped save b3ta! OneOfSome, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 17:44, archived)
# what the hell did you do to her clunge?
its gone... small!
(Foo_Kinnell all the cut will be absorbed by it been a dog, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:37, archived)
# It's the size of a supermarket trolley.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:50, archived)
# She's just rolled it up for the occasion
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:58, archived)
# the new milky-bar kid?
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:46, archived)
# *enter no unshopped pics joke here*
That's a damn good first attempt, woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:53, archived)
[challenge entry] from the book "modern nursery rhymes for kids"


Click for bigger (147KB)

terribly sorry.
(Ninja Squirrel what is this new-fangled technology?!, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:02, archived)
# woo yay

*fears he won't get that rhyme out of his head
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:06, archived)
# Bananas!
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:13, archived)
# RPS may be shite but do we still have music saturdays?
(I helped save b3ta! Insane Maniac musically inclined (about 45°), Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:46, archived)
# i disagree
premature RPS:
CFB
(EvilFred is investing in scuba gear., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:51, archived)
# At least they're warning people about it
No Accidental Helpline claims are gonna be made there
(I helped save b3ta! Insane Maniac musically inclined (about 45°), Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:55, archived)
# pfft.
Seeing as you mention RPS. Been playing with Panoramas from videos.

(Woody999, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:16, archived)
# and...
(Woody999, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:17, archived)
# You have a high res version of that?
Please?
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:21, archived)
# Yes thanks ;)
I spent 2 minutes walking round clattering people to make that.

Wish i'd spent the time to do it in full res photos rather than video.
(Woody999, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:26, archived)
# Thanking you
:)
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:41, archived)
# cool
where is this?
(Foo_Kinnell all the cut will be absorbed by it been a dog, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:39, archived)
# Telstra Stadium in Sydney
(2000 Olympic Stadium)
(Woody999, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:51, archived)
# situation deteriorating
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:36, archived)
# Ooo that's a whopper Harry
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
(Wibih, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:44, archived)
# Cocking hell that's a big 'un!
(I helped save b3ta! Insane Maniac musically inclined (about 45°), Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:50, archived)
# kids today definitely don't take enough drugs
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)
# Hahaha
That's quality LOL
(Wibih, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:01, archived)
[challenge entry] You'd better pray you're on his "Nice" list...
(Brian O'Blivion contains hazardous material, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
# reminds me of my christmas card
(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:04, archived)
# come on Harvey....walkies!!
Image Hosted by ImageShack.usBy scarecow at 2007-07-21
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
#
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:46, archived)
# It's funny 'cos he's retarded...
(I helped save b3ta! Insane Maniac musically inclined (about 45°), Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:47, archived)
# I dunno
He managed to make the pic so....
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:01, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAHA you am getting many clicks :)
(dasfunkman eats spastics, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:55, archived)
# HE STOLE MY FACE

Shit, maybe Dwight Yorke is my dad too...
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:57, archived)
[challenge entry] FIRST PORN MOVIE
(thenamwithnoname was born on, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:36, archived)
# hahah
excellent
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:41, archived)
# Celebrity Swears

(delboyonline suffered a rectal prolapse in 1997!, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:14, archived)
# Celebrity Swears

(delboyonline suffered a rectal prolapse in 1997!, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:18, archived)
# Hamtoucher?
(Brownpants From Liverpool to Manila, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:23, archived)
[challenge entry]
(I helped save b3ta! Kaiser, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:10, archived)
# F. A. I. L.
All of Your Fail are now belong to You!
(I helped save b3ta! philiphunter is liable to flooding, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:24, archived)
# FAIL?
whatchootalkinaboutillis?
(I helped save b3ta! mamilla_sarsum um... a vial is enough, no jam-jars please, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 17:13, archived)
# Fail?
Looks alright to me!

Have a woo!
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:38, archived)
# Needs more WOO.

(I helped save b3ta! collapsibletank procreates, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:43, archived)
# PRETTY!
That's ace
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:59, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! printmeister http://tinyurl.com/c8s8fd5 for titanic T's, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:44, archived)
# arf
verrr good.

poor people.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:44, archived)
# *LOLs
Nicely done!
(I helped save b3ta! mamilla_sarsum um... a vial is enough, no jam-jars please, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:44, archived)
# i was going to go fishing at one of 3 lakes in fleet, but now it is just one lake
:(
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:45, archived)
# i havent watched the news in ages
I havent seen any of this
(I helped save b3ta! Bazmonkey baws!, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:47, archived)
# Haha
*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:48, archived)
# i see what you did
you clever little tyke
(I helped save b3ta! King_Eric has been ok since, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:50, archived)
# haha. nice
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:53, archived)
# Pffft
I live up a hill on an island, global warming will not touch me, bwahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Peregr1n @peregr1n, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:56, archived)
# haha!
I had to drive from there to oxford yesterday, it took bloody hours finding a road that wasn't flooded :(
(I helped save b3ta! Mousing, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:57, archived)
# Oh dear
Meant to be going to Global Gathering on Friday, hope it dries out a bit!
(rapture1984, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:12, archived)
# hahaha
i was in one of the avon's tributaries.. went right through my workplace.
(EvilFred is investing in scuba gear., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)
[challenge entry] bundun Shirley?
(charliek .: idly prodding the mediocrity envelope :., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:32, archived)
# Fail, too many pubes, only one distinct testicle and only one drop of mansauce.
I simply cannot approve this book.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:34, archived)
# I disagree
it's rather unfailsome!
(I helped save b3ta! mamilla_sarsum um... a vial is enough, no jam-jars please, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:36, archived)
# The book itself is a good idea but that isn't a regulation CDC.
How are the children supposed to learn?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:37, archived)
# imagine in years to come this type of cdc posted everywhere
the horror!
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:42, archived)
# I'm blaming migrant workers.
Coming over here with their crazy cdcs and seamzebras. Doomed I tells ya, we're doomed.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:44, archived)
# Let me see...
Crudely drawn - check!
Magenta - Check!
manfat - Check!

I would concede that the public hair is too straight but, all things considered, this is a more standards-complaint CDC than anything I've done.
(I helped save b3ta! mamilla_sarsum um... a vial is enough, no jam-jars please, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:43, archived)
# Stop making up standards you unruly vagabond.
The actual standards for a cdc are

3 drops of mansauce
3 pubes per bollock
I believe the magenta should also be the default mspaint one.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:45, archived)
# This^
facts
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:00, archived)
# It
definitely deviates from the standard Bus Stop Willy template - but in a postmodern ironic way. What I think the artist is trying to say is we all want to make love to our parents.
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:44, archived)
# Then please forgive me.
I failed to take it for its artistic values. These modern movements are all a bit much for a traditionalist such as myself.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:46, archived)
# I think you were right
first time. What is the point in having parameters if they're ignored? It's three pubes per bollock, one of which can be gray. I think amount of nutmustard sploshes is unregulated.
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:04, archived)
# do you have to pay someone
copywrite for official cdcs?
(dasfunkman eats spastics, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:57, archived)
# Tush!
The little kiddies would be all discouraged if the book proposed standards too high for them to hope to attain!
(charliek .: idly prodding the mediocrity envelope :., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:19, archived)
# Nice :)



(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:46, archived)
# Nice
I got my nephews a book all about poo, they and my brother was most amused but my sister in law definitely not :-/
(I helped save b3ta! Peregr1n @peregr1n, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:03, archived)
[challenge entry] I'm getting this for my nephew
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:13, archived)
# mmmmm
batteries
(I helped save b3ta! Johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one But still they come on, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:39, archived)
# Now, there's two things I don't normally do...
(a) Post at weekends. But let's face it, the weather is fucking awful and I'm not going out... and
(b) Post unshopped images.

But this one is special - spotted by NurseWhen in a local paper:


My God! It's like a baby's arm!
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:11, archived)
# i didnt want to be amused at this
but i was :)
(I helped save b3ta! rosey, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:13, archived)
# I concur.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:15, archived)
# Won't somebody think of the children?
Down with this sort of thing

etc
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:15, archived)
# hahaha!
this is all of the funny
(I helped save b3ta! McBadger COW, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:15, archived)
# simple.. innocent image
turned bad by a twisted mind

now that's b3ta!

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:25, archived)
# Pfffffffft.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:26, archived)
# Fantastic
Couldn't be better if that was posed

:-D
(I helped save b3ta! Peregr1n @peregr1n, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:04, archived)
# Fucking Hell!!
How unfortunate! I'd be reluctant to email that to anyone to be honest!
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:05, archived)
# hah!
too funny
(I helped save b3ta! Foxglove -- it all ends in tears anyway..., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:32, archived)
# hahaha
brilliant
(Arahan, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:08, archived)
# Heh.
Awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! The Glum Reaper cannot solve your problem because he has no jam, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:51, archived)
# hahahah
*breaks piss*

*distributes to friend(s)*
(ShavenLunatic says touch your nose!, Sun 22 Jul 2007, 21:22, archived)
# hahahaha, good grief!
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 10:20, archived)
# meh
I blame that ectoplasmic dweller of brooks. And munster101.

Y'can clank if y'wanna.
(I helped save b3ta! Dimrill HMS Average Nostril, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:10, archived)
# hmmm
very odd indeed, *clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:24, archived)
# is burgers is it?
what's this burgers now look!

I don't know what that is is it look you boyo I had better burn it incase it's english is it
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:25, archived)
# Yay!
Fuck the Simpson's, now THIS is television I would watch.

(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 17:06, archived)
# Well has it?
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# *SPANG*
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# Ouch!
OK, I liked it really. But don't tell anyone :)
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:08, archived)
# GAH!
(this week i am mostly - medicated, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:11, archived)
# JE-FUCKING-SUS
!!!!!!!!!!

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:16, archived)
# Yes my son?
/obligatory response to 'Jesus' blog
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:18, archived)
# I need a hat
some bandages

two jars of vaseliene

and a riot prod
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:19, archived)
# Fair enough
Here you go.

You'll notice I've already pre-warmed the vaseliene, that's a treat from me to you.

Enjoy.
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:21, archived)
# I can't remember if I posted this or not but...
This was a flyer given to me in the streets of Johannesburg.
From a "traditional healer" aka "witch doctor".

He can cure many things including a bad case of "customer". All with just a few herbs and bones!

(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:48, archived)
# funniest thing i've seen in ages...how real!
yay
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:53, archived)
# Can't see periods?
So.... you're having them, but you're unable to see them?

What's a Tokolshe?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:55, archived)
# In a nutshell
an evil spirit.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokoloshe.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:58, archived)
# I'd like to see it being chased.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:59, archived)
# It's something
My cousin and I used to use to scare the bejesus out of my sister with. There's nothing like an irrational fear of something completely unknown.
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:08, archived)
# Are you and your cousin foreign types?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:09, archived)
# I'm half a forn type
He's very forn type. Not even a native English speaker! Did you know such exists! God must have made a slip up somewhere along the line!
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:15, archived)
# My brother's exactly the same.
Doesn't speak a word of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:18, archived)
# That just confuses me
I'm going for a lie down.
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:24, archived)
# I get this sort of thing through my door every now and then.
Although the Leeds healers usually seem to be able to cure less. It's all demonic posession and love problems. It looks like I'll have to go to Johannesburg if I ever want to be able to see a period.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:57, archived)
# really, you've got voodoo types?
woooow.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:58, archived)
# Yep, I'll save the next flyer I get and post it so all can phone them.
Then hopefully we'll all see a real period.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:00, archived)
# I hope and pray that someday I might be blessed with seeing one, yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:01, archived)
# I'd like to think the whole thing is done by happy little pixies
that dress in the most flamboyant way and shuffle along pushing out stuff with their fancy little custom winklepickers.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:05, archived)
# I think they're quite angry little pixies in my womb.
Either way, they don't half like to cause me pain for two weeks out of the four.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# Perhaps leave them some fancy but less pointy little silken outfits.
Oh and little tiny pipes and pixieweed. For fun you could wrap them in little boxes and hide them in amongst the mystical pubic regions. That should cheer them up.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:09, archived)
# I could buy a douche.
It'd be like a waterpark for them.


(I'm so, so sorry for that mental image)
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:11, archived)
# That could work.
However if your womb pixies still aren't happy maybe just stick a lizard in there. They'll think they've ended up in Jurassic park and high tail it out of there. For added fun you can then stick fly paper over the magical lady cave to catch them and hopefully the lizard that should chase them out.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:14, archived)
# WOW!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:18, archived)
# In LEEDS?
Bloody hell, the Tokoloshe travels far these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:00, archived)
# It's a mixed up ol' city. I live next door to a shop that sells Caribbean food and wigs.
What more could I ever want?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:01, archived)
# Well nothing I can think of
If you can eat nice curry goat whilst wearing a Bob Marley wig I couldn't imagine you'd want for anything else.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:04, archived)
# curry goat?
Don't, that's unfair. I might get some mutton tonight and cook some up for the manwife (St Lucian bunny that he is, he'll just chuck half a bottle of hot sauce in it anyway)
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# All the while having bones and herbs chucked at me to banish inner demons.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# How very cosmopolitan
I live next door to a mosque and a mini-cab office, Hyde Park clearly doesn't attract the wig-conscious consumer...
(Baron Samedi - sale must end, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:08, archived)
# Harehills is where it's really at in Leeds.
I can get pizzas covered in curry round the corner or shot round the other one.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:10, archived)
# Hahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:12, archived)
# Bang!
and the bad luck is gone?
(The_Epitome, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:58, archived)
# Oh yes
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:04, archived)
# I must ask....
has anyone ever actually tried to see their period? Wouldn't that be incredibly difficult and also very very wrong?

I like how he can solve court cases too. He much have lots of certificates over his desk.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:59, archived)
# You can see it when you're....changing things.
Although no, not actually coming out of your vagina.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:00, archived)
# Well thats what I mean.
What a very strange service to offer.

Maybe its just rib removal.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:02, archived)
# Something I still wonder about having done.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:04, archived)
# Think about it. A real-life genuine close-up period.
WOW.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# Not to watch my period, you silly moo.
*raises an eyebrow*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:07, archived)
# Haha, you don't say...
;)
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:09, archived)
# Or at least, until I have enough money to hire Jake Gyllenhaal to do it for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:12, archived)
# A rugged manly vision of manliness?
I don't see it myself :)
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:15, archived)
# Not so much.
I just really would do the lad till he cried and begged me not to.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:18, archived)
# I really hope this is your board stats quote.
(I helped save b3ta! The Glum Reaper cannot solve your problem because he has no jam, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:50, archived)
# No certificates
But lots of bones (to throw) and herbs (to drink).

They tend to wear a very big head-dress thing made out of feathers and an animal skin thrown over their backs. Which is enough to impress your average superstitious person.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:03, archived)
# I wouldn't argue with a chap covered in dead animal.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:04, archived)
# I would.
If his name were 'that cunt Tom Green'.



He needs to learn the difference between funny and ugly.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:08, archived)
# He also needs to stop.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:10, archived)
# ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:11, archived)
# Cease and desist.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:11, archived)
# /witch doctor joke
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:02, archived)
# That reminds me.
I've got one of those creationist ones somewhere.

Need to convert it to text so it can be analysed ;)
(Woody999, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:07, archived)
# Hurrah!
Longer periods for woman MPs
(I helped save b3ta! Peregr1n @peregr1n, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:06, archived)
# my first animation attempt, pretty shite, huh?
(Daveyd821, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:41, archived)
# Pob
pob pob pob pob pob
(The_Queen_Is_Dead Scooter Is A Blonde Haired Fuck-monkey, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:49, archived)
# Nope
Not shite at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:49, archived)
# ace

for some feckin reason ..all my stuff is comin out huge today
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:51, archived)
# HO HO!
haha
(Daveyd821, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:52, archived)
# excellent source material!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:56, archived)
# hehe
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:29, archived)
#
www.plan59.com/scarykids.htm
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)
# :D
Pob used to scare the shit out of me when I was small.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:01, archived)
# for a first animation
you get a star = *
(I helped save b3ta! rosey, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:07, archived)
# So, to recap...


Let's face it, those that really care have probably read it by now anyway.
(songsforeveryone, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:31, archived)
# so they alll end up really big kiss fans and end up having an
album name tatooed on their foreheads and they end up swearing about how much they love kiss but the one with glasses doesnt swear very much?
(The_Queen_Is_Dead Scooter Is A Blonde Haired Fuck-monkey, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:33, archived)
# Pretty much
Yeah
(songsforeveryone, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:34, archived)
# that is exactly what happens
(Rated Arrr for pirates and nudity, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:35, archived)
# ^ I would read this
(I helped save b3ta! P3te "the Meat", Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:36, archived)
# no
they all die in a horrible nuclear explosion which kills everyone except for J K Rowling because she's made of lead.
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:35, archived)
# I love facts.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:37, archived)
# Facts are fun!
Fact: I stayed up until half four last night playing Guitar Hero

ROCK ON!
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:39, archived)
# I thought Gingerfeatures died.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:38, archived)
# Gingerfeaturecreature
does die but then he gets resurrected as a ghost and then dies again and then comes back to possess Harry's glasses and then dies again
and then comes back to possess Harry's new pair of glasses and then comes back as a Ginger
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:40, archived)
# sadly no
whats more surprising is he gets laid.
(Rated Arrr for pirates and nudity, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:40, archived)
# well
old harry is a tad on the gay/horse side innit
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:03, archived)
# 2000 lemmings queueing at Waterstones in York last night...
fucking tards
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:42, archived)
# I missed a train last night
As there were literally hundreds of kids gathered around that fucking luggage trolley that's been concreted into the wall at King's Cross to have their pics taken.

Not one of them querying why platform 9 & 3/4 is between platforms 8 and 9. Fucking kids.

One particularly irate suit that was running for the train literally picked one kid up and threw him out of his way. Still missed it though, which gave a few members of the British Transport Police time to talk him through exactly what he'd just done wrong.

The kid loved it incidentally. It sparked off about 20 minutes of all the kids trying to throw one another around.
(songsforeveryone, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:48, archived)
# hhhaahahaaa
eggsellent!
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:55, archived)
# Hahahaha
'that looks fun!'
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:56, archived)
# see
no matter what the disaster

kids know how to turn it into a fun game!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:04, archived)
# You missed out the fact that Harry and Ginny are together.
But really, who could give a fuck?
(I helped save b3ta! head-doctor ololololo, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:31, archived)
# Harry shacks up with Paris Hilton
and gets hogwarts.
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:23, archived)
[challenge entry] I thought the board was slow...
(I helped save b3ta! mamilla_sarsum um... a vial is enough, no jam-jars please, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:25, archived)
# hurrah!
*click*
(charliek .: idly prodding the mediocrity envelope :., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:25, archived)
# Nicely
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:26, archived)
# My dad's got a fishing video called Waynes Waggler.
Or Wagglers. I can't remember.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:26, archived)
# wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
u go girl *makes slightly racist hand movements*
(The_Queen_Is_Dead Scooter Is A Blonde Haired Fuck-monkey, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:27, archived)
# ooooo instant click
yes
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:27, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:28, archived)
# gilled fuck lol
nice 1 :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:29, archived)
# *proper lol moment*
yay
(Multi-Coloured Pop Shop "twat with a ukulele", Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:30, archived)
# hahaha
swearing and fishing are my favourite past times,
infact i might go fishing tonight
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:30, archived)
# hahahaha
woo
(Rated Arrr for pirates and nudity, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:33, archived)
# hahahhha
amazing!
(I helped save b3ta! Mousing, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:42, archived)
# ha ha ha!
very good.
(The_Epitome, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:48, archived)
# This made me do a lol.
Ace!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:59, archived)
# NOW THAT IS FUCKING GREAT!
:D

*cleek*
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:05, archived)
# hahahahaha
:)
(I helped save b3ta! rosey, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:09, archived)
# Gilled fuck
HAHAHAHAHA
*click*
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:38, archived)
# Ha! Great minds and all that...
(Marwood, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 20:21, archived)
# Hahaha!
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! mamilla_sarsum um... a vial is enough, no jam-jars please, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 20:57, archived)
# did this about four years ago :)
(I helped save b3ta! spiny - things are looking up, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 21:27, archived)
# brilliant!
and a well deserved fp!
(I helped save b3ta! nel Roland Rat and Kevvviiinnnnn, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 21:23, archived)
# my first hearty chuckle
in days - have a retrowoo!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 21:56, archived)
# hahaha
"GOT YOU! You gilled fuck!"

I'm going to call my pub quiz team this
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 23:53, archived)

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