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# Sumfink...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:50, archived)
# National Loitery, shirely? ;)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:50, archived)
# ^ arf! :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:51, archived)
# Did you catch yesterday's ep?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
# yes I did...it was all very confusing :D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:53, archived)
# indeed, and a definite 'wtf?' at the end :)
it's all going to go tits up :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
# is it the finale next week?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
# nope, one more episode, and then the 2hr finale
'The Incident'
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:06, archived)
# cool :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:07, archived)
# Pffft, very good!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
# Of course!!
*Hangs head* :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
# hehehe
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:35, archived)
# HAHAHAHA
EDIT: Am I the only one that when things like this flu and read anout the WHO. I imagine Pete Townsend going about trying to save the world in a magic bus?


EDIT EDIT: ONOES! Maddy's parents are doing a documentary! They must be missing the limelight.


EDIT EDIT EDIT: According to the news since the outcry from pig farmer the WHO are no longer going to call it swine flu it is now H1N1 Influenza A. Rolls off the tongue that one.

EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: There are no more EDITs.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:51, archived)
# H1nfluenza A for short?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:09, archived)
# Pig AIDS
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:10, archived)
# hahahahaha
Is that Good Aids or Bad Aids tho?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:20, archived)
# Good
It begets bacon:)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:49, archived)
# Make an edit pyramid.
        e
edit
editedit
editeditedit
editediteditedit
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:10, archived)
# :)
b3ta.com/board/9407904
apparently only you and me O_o
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:10, archived)
# What about Bono?:P
Oh great I have a guy sneezing away next to the food.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:14, archived)
# No, but I do now!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:17, archived)
# haha!!!
nicely done!
*clicks
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:51, archived)
# Thanks OP!
:)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
# hahahahhahahahah!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
# hahahaha!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:53, archived)
# Queenie!!!!!
Where've ya bin? *Opens arms* :D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
# life's been rather getting in the way of things of late
have had very little time for being puerile and i don't like it one little bit.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:12, archived)
# Haha nicely
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
# Also I hate my boss
Fucking lazy bastard moans because the huge project I'm working on is taking so long but keeps taking me off it to work on stupid little shitty projects that completely fuck over our system security. PCI compliant - maybe before he got his antiquated ideas in to it. I swear, if he had his way we’d still be coding in fucking M.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
# You are Evilscary aicmfp
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
# *hands over a fiver*
Sorry, I really needed to vent.

Seriously though, because our client is a moron I have to change our secure payment system to display all the details of the payments being processed - to anyone able to access the system...

I suggested just throwing up an error message: "Error #14107 The problem exists between the keyboard and chair"
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
# I've never coded in Fucking M.
Only Fucking B. It's way simpler.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
# aaaaaw poor you


(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
# Who would get it in the neck if a load of customer credit card details got stolen?
Me, that's who because the payment system I made wouldn't be secure. We aren't talking about some little website but some of the biggest mail order companies in the UK.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:05, archived)
# please redirect you grievance to someone who gives a fuck

you're lucky to have a fucking job.
quit bitching and man up.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:07, archived)
# To be fair, Prodge, I hate my job too.
I come on here and bitch about it sometimes.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:12, archived)
# To be fair, I don't care...you're lucky to have it
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:20, archived)
# No, you don't care
but I think you're the only one that thinks anybody's expecting you to, or gives a shit whether you do or not.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:24, archived)
# why the hell would I think anyones expecting me to give a shit or care if I do or not?

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:44, archived)
# Yeah. No one talk anymore. This isn't the right forum for words.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:15, archived)
# but if you're looking for little bitchy comments..you've come to the right place
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:22, archived)
# I will see many of them tomorrow
I am happy happy :D

Not about seeing the chavs, unless i see some who make me laugh
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
# you are either going to watch darts or to the fair
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:12, archived)
# Going in to Reading
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
# oh I'm so sorry
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:17, archived)
# Hahaha :) it isn't to bad
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:18, archived)
# It was when I lived there
but that's nearly 7 years ago now
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:26, archived)
# I just did a massive burp at work.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:10, archived)
# Down the phone to a customer
that demanded to speak to a manager because they know the law and stuff?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:20, archived)
# a- I'm the manager's manager now *hark at her*
b- no, I wasn't on the phone. I've got it on divert.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:24, archived)
# You got promoted? :D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:29, archived)
# Not exactly, but a side effect of my new job is that I'm now more senior
but they don't have to pay me any more *sigh*. Pay review's in August, and I want another £4000 at least or I'm out of here. I do a £40K job for less than half that.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:31, archived)
# Fingers crossed for you
And I know the feeling, the guy sitting opposite me does excatly the same job for exactly double my pay
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:39, archived)
# Hahaha ning!

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
# hahahaha...
Class!! :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:18, archived)
# Hahahaha!
Morning Ninj!
:D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:18, archived)
# Morning Moley!
Top stuff up there. A click it I have given...mmmm :D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:27, archived)
# Well that was a complete let-down.

Good piggy-flu-free morning b3ta peeps!
It's a Friiiiiiiiday! :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:42, archived)
# i well fancy the lead woman in this
that tayla bint drives me mad tho
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:49, archived)
# nice to see you fancy her enough to find out her name
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:51, archived)
# whats in a name?
:)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
# :) I like that.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:50, archived)
# hahaha

*clicketh*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
# arf
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:55, archived)
# heheheh
how wonderful.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
# hahaha
perfect
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:07, archived)
# o noes
the gate has bin left open!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
# that's brilliant
:D

they've found more pig sneeze of it in FailKirk though - I hope Bob's alright
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
# Charles got talent
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:35, archived)
# Three and a half fucking meg?!
*wanders off to bunker in fluffly bunny slippers to put the kettle on*

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:36, archived)
# what the fuck?
HUUUGGGEEEE!

i think that may even be a record...

edit: it's a good pic though
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:36, archived)
# Second I think
I remember one about 150k bigger.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:37, archived)
# hahaha, that's just plain ridiculous....
:D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:39, archived)
# Yeah
It's possible the person posted the LotRs trilogy:P
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:40, archived)
# Pfff.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
# ..that's fuckin' huge
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:38, archived)
# but when I posted this image a few weeks ago people were upset!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:49, archived)
# because we hear the same whine every year
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
# twice a year I hope
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:05, archived)
# nah
sometimes the yanks change at the same time as us
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:46, archived)
# Hello new person, and welcome aboard.
Suggested guidelines for animation size are no larger than 400k if possible.
A quick link of that would be great if it's difficult to optimise.
if you click the little L next to your username, there's lots of good info. there for you.
Nice idea, btw :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:38, archived)
# haha look at him go
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:38, archived)
# hahaha!
FAIL dog smells fail (only filesize fail, I liked the video!) :) Welcome!


(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:38, archived)
# ^this
but the request that you read the faq when you register and again in the validation email have clearly been ignored.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
# i'm going easyon the chap
because i posted a poem on the main board my first post! Can you imagine what happened? a onephilosophy bbq thats what!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:44, archived)
# That is nought!
rob started to get annoyed that I kept emailling him to post the image I had done up that he sent a rather tart email explaining that I had to do it myself.:P
But in those days there was no faq and b3ta took about 1-2 minutes to load up on a 52k modem.

EDIT: Oh managed to sort you out here for the bash.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:46, archived)
# haha!!!
*emails rob with images from now on!!!!

(thanks for sorting me out matey)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:50, archived)
# No probs.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:52, archived)
# He's sad because he's lumpy :D
Fuck yeah I love this green dog.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
# :D
lumpy fail green dog is lumpy, fail and green
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:46, archived)
# nice anim
you need to find out about gif optimisation so it will be more board friendly.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:40, archived)
# lol!
the words "board" and "friendly" together in a sentence!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:42, archived)
# :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:44, archived)
# This is the kind of talent I expect from my royalty.
Nice, if a little bit huge.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
# I think it should be compusory for the royal family to put on a panto for everyone at Christmas.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:42, archived)
# It's the least they can do for us really.
I bet Prince Philip would make a great Widow Twanky
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:44, archived)
# hell yeah
And the queen should go to every house with a sack up to her shoulders, knock on the door and when it opens go, 'Look! Look! I'm a stamp!'
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:51, archived)
# MEG MEG MEG Me
also - the number on his chest makes him look like a prison camp
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
# in fairness this would be fantasticy n00b post
if you'd waved the magic optimisation wand over it.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:45, archived)
# That is very well done, but you'd better edit your post and make it a linky
Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
# tinypic.com?
oh the irony!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
# Bwahaha!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:42, archived)
# haha!!!
i need another hard disk just to watch it!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:45, archived)
# well
its good, but its massive.... WARNING BROWSER BORKED!!!1111eleventy
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:46, archived)
# Hahahaha, that's great.
As others have said though, it's a bit too big for the board.

:)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:48, archived)
# i concur with most of the above
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:55, archived)
# Hehehe.
Nice.

As I don't religiously check filesizes of every image posted - I wouldn't
have noticed the size if the File Inspectors hadn't pointed it out....
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
# same here
I liked it.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:51, archived)
[challenge entry] a very old image given a facelift..
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:33, archived)
# Is he holding on to the trade centre?
shop that in fast.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:34, archived)
# nice idea
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:34, archived)
# Jesus was a marshmallow and God didn't create the world - purple football lizards did. They lived in the pyramids and played Jenga.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:34, archived)
# To be honest his version is more plausible than the religious ones people put all their hopes in.
I don't expect an intergalactic beings to look that human.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:36, archived)
# Aliens look like plums.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:37, archived)
# I am in a damn good mood today
Full of glee and a hammock to please, it is nearly the weekend, so do as you please. :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:35, archived)
# thats the sound of a man who got his oats last night !
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:42, archived)
# It is my last at this site and then i will be working on my own :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:43, archived)
# Cor! Barbie's gone Topless!!



Last one - I'm off now

related link for Prof Underpants
www.b3ta.com/board/9410632
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:03, archived)
# *sniffs*
Yes you are.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:03, archived)
# pff
'ningles, how are we all this (last day before the bank holiday, yays!) Friday?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:10, archived)
# Well it is a fine sunny start to the Mayday weekend.
Weather doesn't look too bad for the weekend either.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:11, archived)
# I was pleased when I saw the weather report
I might get off my backside on Sunday and go to Silverstone.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:13, archived)
# what happens there?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:14, archived)
# FIA GT Championships this weekend
I bought a bridge camera a few weeks ago and still haven't had a decent chance to use it.

I was going to Donington last weekend, but thanks to the building work for the Formula 1 they haven't secured a racing licence for the year so the races were cancelled :(
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:16, archived)
# SIlly Maximinimus
There's no G in FIAT!:P
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:27, archived)
# Incidently there will be Fiats racing
As Fiat are the majority shareholders of Ferrari ;)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:40, archived)
# cars have four wheels and go broom.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:43, archived)
# Rain forecast not London on Sunday.
May have a barbie on Monday (possibly the wrong thread to use that terminology in though).
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:15, archived)
# let's go pardy
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:16, archived)
# Is that like partying but with a cold?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:18, archived)
# I'm not sure Monday's a day off for me...
which doesn't seem to make sense but appears to be true

:(
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:13, archived)
# I only get bank hols off if it happens to fall on my day off!
Which it doesn't.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:14, archived)
# That sucks
Do you get time in lieu for it though?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:17, archived)
# Batteries not included
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:05, archived)
# hahahahaha!
*load tranq' gun, aims, fires*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:06, archived)
# hahahaha!
It'll be like a baby dildo!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:07, archived)
# ha ha ha
he's aroused by hard skin and no nipples eh?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:11, archived)
# *spluffs*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:15, archived)
# *vacuums*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:17, archived)
# Ghost hip penis!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:16, archived)
# Jalfrezi thigh fanny!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:18, archived)
# Madagascan ear flatulence.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:18, archived)
# aye - perhaps that didn't work after all
oh well
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:19, archived)
# Oh psh. I like it. I'm just being playful.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:21, archived)
# *tosses a ball of string*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:23, archived)
# AHHH AHHH AHHH AHHH.
*pukes on the carpet*
*demands to be fed*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:24, archived)
# Just humour me until the snooker is on at 1. Thanks, b3ta.


(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:33, archived)
# Ooh ooh, off sir?
Get you off did it sir?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:17, archived)
# Hahahaha

You loon. I can now never see this logo again without a laughing fit ;)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:33, archived)
# hehehe :)

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:43, archived)
# arf!
Naughty Ken
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:43, archived)
# ken is black?
since when? lol!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:48, archived)
# On the off chance that SwineFlu is a zombie outbreak coverup, I think we should shoot the infected in the head.
Just to be safe.
Coincidently, that fits nicely with my latest Movie Vector. What are the chances, eh?


CFB (B=Blog)

Wow, this is my spammiest blogspam yet!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:56, archived)
# Quimbles, I want a zombie happening.
I've had lots of dream practice, and so long as I can get to some guns, I think I'll manage spiffingly.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:58, archived)
# Crowbar is better
Doesn't need reloading.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:07, archived)
# I want to sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipe
*loves a bit of sniping, ooh she does*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:08, archived)
# Attach a hunting scope to a crowbar
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:12, archived)
# if it's anything like my zombie dreams it'll be fucking awesome
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:59, archived)
# Baggsie becoming one first!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:03, archived)
# I think this is the right policy until just before I catch it.
Woo
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:59, archived)
# Yes. Remove the head or destroy the brain. It's the only way to be sure.
woo. I feel really stupid coz I went out and got some Echinacea even though I don't really think anything's going to happen. I suppose I must in some way as I went out and bought it.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:00, archived)
# As long as they don't shut everything down until the middle of next week I won't care.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:02, archived)
# Provided the XBox Live servers stay up,
they can do what they like.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:03, archived)
# There's 13 confirmed deaths so far,
compared to the hundreds of thousands every year from normal flu
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:03, archived)
# ^ this
it's like watching a bunch of toddlers when there's a spider in the room.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:04, archived)
# Ineresting thing is there was a flu outbreak after the Second World War
that pretty much wiped out a huge percent of South East mainland Europe. One of the only people not to be effected were the poeple is spain working in the cinnimon factories. As they were working with it all day it was getting through the skin and had an active effect of fighting off the flu.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:07, archived)
# I think you mean first world war
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:08, archived)
# What's a world war between friends?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:09, archived)
# A way to subdue the masses
/NWO conspiracy blog
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:12, archived)
# Naaaa
It was started by the film industry to give them plot lines for decades to come.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:14, archived)
# Yeah but think about what I do for a living.
I'm in the front line.

*frontlines like a ninja with new socks on*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:05, archived)
# I work in a hospital.
Although that does have the added bonus that I might be near the front of the queue when a vaccination comes out.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:07, archived)
# Yeah but they'll come here before they come to you:P
I used to work for the NHS but got better:P
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:08, archived)
# there had better be zombies, or I'll be mighty disappointed...
and here's hoping for some G-Virus beasties too


that is some top vectorage! *click!*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:01, archived)
# I have taken to going round with a bikini clad bimbo
In the event of zombie attack it is a well documented fact that she'll get it first allowing me to escape with the fringe benefit of me wandering round with a bikini clad bimbo.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:25, archived)
# Ooooh
I just finished watching that new animated Resi E film last night. was very good
/needs more zombies
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 11:21, archived)
# nice!
I'm watching "Cannibal Apocalypse" this weekend :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:14, archived)
# Worth it for the shotgun blast shot
And John saxon is always a sign of a quality movie
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
# Alone in the dark FTW! (original one)
Woo!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:40, archived)
# don't ask me why..... it's too early still....
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:55, archived)
# arf! :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:57, archived)
# Hahaha

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:58, archived)
# I likes that!
:D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:58, archived)
# Q: How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
A: He doesn't, he is dead.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:59, archived)
# A. No, she went of her own accord
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:07, archived)
# hahahahahha! SSSPPPAAANNNNGGGG!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:02, archived)
# Pffft!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:05, archived)
# Poke 'er, mon.
yey
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:17, archived)
# Haha!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:33, archived)
# haha nice
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:34, archived)
# hahahaha!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:55, archived)
# Beep Beep!

Zoom!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:46, archived)
# FAKE
not gay enough
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:49, archived)
# High five for that comment.
God, I hate those movies. And Vin Diesel. and chavs. And that bloody ugly bint that was in the first one- Dykey out of Resident Evil.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:50, archived)
# Jo Brand?
*waggles helloy hand at Wow*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:51, archived)
# No that spanish bird.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:52, archived)
# El Jo Branda?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:52, archived)
# hahahahahaha
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
# *limp-wristed high five*
coooo-eyyyyy

Vin Diesel - Tesco value action film star
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:52, archived)
# 50% misguided arrogance, 40% cunt, 10% Right Said Fred
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:53, archived)
# Captain Wow, Captain Wow
Tra la la la la
Captain Wow, Captain Wow
With her something men
Feared by the bad, something by the good
Captain Yay Wow Captain Yay.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:55, archived)
# ROBIN HOOD.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:56, archived)
# something?
Sexy, hairy or awesome.

Ta for my song, minstrellttsr.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:56, archived)
# Brb beer and smoke.
Prepare a witticism for my return.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:59, archived)
# I might be gone, lots to do.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:59, archived)
# Uh oh! Have a good day, Wwowowowowowow.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:08, archived)
# I'm with you on the cars-and-action flicks
but he's not bad as Riddick
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:56, archived)
# although
I do quite like the Riddick films

*runs*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:56, archived)
# :D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:03, archived)
# reminds me of


EDIT: Yays my boss is off in Greece this week. So no calls with bizarre questions and requests.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:55, archived)
# Noo I like him.
*secretly watches girl movies*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:55, archived)
# That's all he;s good for though.
PLaying one wooden character.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:58, archived)
# Well, I like his one wooden character.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:58, archived)
# Yes but he'd probably worried about his future as Richard Curtis hasn't used him in his last film:P
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:01, archived)
# no different to REG then
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:07, archived)
# Yes but more highbrow
therefore Tescos Value REG.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:09, archived)
# I had the misfortune of watching the first film
t'was a travesty D:
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:56, archived)
# I'm not a fan of the movies.
But I can't help but like Vin Diesel for his World of Warcraft skills.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:59, archived)
# I wouldn't piss up his arse if his shit was on fire.
*grumble*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:59, archived)
# You sure?
I hear he's willing to pay good money for that.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:03, archived)
# It's bullshite!
The got quizzed by Johnathan Ross and he knew nothing about the game!
Anyway my Death Knight could 'ave 'in:P
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:02, archived)
# I've heard he's level 80.
He just didn't say. I think he's Horde.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:28, archived)
# No day glo red head
not real.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:51, archived)
# dullest movies ever.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:51, archived)
# DRIVING FAST MATTERS A LOT AND IT'S NOT GAY IN THE SLIGHTEST
is basically what I got from it.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:52, archived)
# they make me want to get a nail gun and find out where Vin Diesel lives

fucking plank of wood of a man
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:56, archived)
# You tell 'im, Prodge.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:57, archived)
# POW!! RIGHT IN THE KISSER
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:58, archived)
# \o/
*buys an American car to stimulate the economy*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:00, archived)
# I learned some fantastic driving technique from those films
1. It is possible to drive one handed while looking directly at your passenger for upwards of 5 mins without crashing into anything.

2. You ALWAYS have another gear to use, even if you were at top whack in the first place

3. Strapping a sunbed under your car is teh coolz

4. gay
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:58, archived)
# Innit.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:59, archived)
# I feel proud that I've managed to avoid them all
mainly cos I don't watch ITV2
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:02, archived)
# Six dead by now
none of them royals

what a piss poor execution
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:52, archived)
# :D thank you, our man in the field.
Tom, back to you.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:54, archived)
# You'd think it'd be fairly easy to hit a bus with a car, wouldn't you.
2/10, must try harder.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:54, archived)
# hahhahaha!
"Tesco Value Assassin"
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:55, archived)
# Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
:)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:34, archived)
# what's happened?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:56, archived)
#
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:01, archived)
# sheez
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:03, archived)
# Ningles!


*edit* related link for Prof Underpants: www.b3ta.com/board/9410632
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:46, archived)
# Hahahahah
Yes!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:47, archived)
# That's my car, that is.
I've got a git of a day ahead. Bloody shitty bastard arsing reporting. Fucking cockending shitwanky pisshole letters.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:48, archived)
# Hugs
Don't want to hear after today I'm off for the next nine days then
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:49, archived)
# A well manicured middle finger to you then, sir.
Ah well, at least I'm going to Primani tomorrow. HOORAY cheap shit.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:51, archived)
# Why dont you just tell us whats REALLY on your mind?
;)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:50, archived)
# NNNNGG
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:50, archived)
# I've got to spend the morning creating a function to import stupidly formatted data into matlab,
and spend the afternoon playing with ultrasound scanners. The plus side being I'm not in work till midday.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:54, archived)
# Why are you all being so MEAN?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:54, archived)
# I'm going to make pancakes for brunch too
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:55, archived)
# You're a horrible man, Porsche.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:55, archived)
# hahahahah!
ningles, freebs!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:48, archived)
# Arf!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:53, archived)
# pfft :D
ningles Freebles :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:57, archived)
# Haha
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:58, archived)
# Hooray for mass hysteria

*stops trying to be topical and goes back to shopping cocks on things*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:07, archived)
# Quite so! CDC are to be feared much more than the disease of the day.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:15, archived)
# Haha,
I love this.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:17, archived)
# :D Indeed
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:18, archived)
# Hahaha
Props to Immortal, for making the funniest music video EVAR
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VBdAY8eA9w
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:19, archived)
# Haha
fantastic band, but I find it hard to take them seriously
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:21, archived)
# Heheh I know what you mean
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:25, archived)
# Wow
This is some nasty
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:51, archived)
# Is that serious!? Please tell me they're not serious!
It's liek some kind of Electric Six pisstake...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:25, archived)
# It's serious.
Those wacky Norwegians eh?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:26, archived)
# Good lord!
Well I do hope they have a sense of humour, like Rammstein, they get their own joke...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:28, archived)
# I think they secretly get it, but they won't admit it, because that would not be TRV and KVLT

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:37, archived)
# I enjoy them.
More fun than a bag of weasels.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:25, archived)
# Gets more awesome everytime I see it.
Anything lined up musically today?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:26, archived)
# I may whistle later...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:32, archived)
# I'll be out most of the time
but for now, it's Gojira. Nice.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:36, archived)
#
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:46, archived)
# Eeeeeww no!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:54, archived)
# I'm dreaming of a white christmas
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:19, archived)
# I'd hate it if one of them flew over me and had happened to have a bad case of diarrhoea
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:17, archived)
# heheheheh!
ningles everyone! Thank fuck it's friday!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:18, archived)
# it's may day!
magenta maypoles all round
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:20, archived)
# "Mayday! Mayday! I wonder why they call it May Day? It's only a bank holiday! Why not Shrove Tuesday or Ascension Sunday? Ascension Sunday! Ascension Sunday! 15th Wednesday after Pentecost!"
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:24, archived)
# it's french you doink
muh-aidez. help me

:D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:40, archived)
# My dayometer senses large amounts of friday in this area.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:22, archived)
# i can't wait to be able to fly
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:18, archived)
# Sorry, but this must be at least the 10th time someone has done the swine flu/pigs fly connection 'joke'
and I think we're getting a bit numbed now...

*edit* have a Doctor Who Crudely Done Construction:
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:18, archived)
# Sorry, I didn't see it :-(
I have been to busy working recently to get near a computer
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:20, archived)
# Aye well it's one of those jokes you imagine no one will have thought of,
like the connection between owls and the Chuckle Brothers...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:27, archived)
# He shops at Coles supermarkets
(For all the Non-Aussies - its a major supermarket chain here in Aus)

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:28, archived)
# Is it just the angle or does he hang more on the right!?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:31, archived)
# 20 minutes of the BBC London enws last night
20 minutes of
"well, it's too early to speculate..."
"Yeah, but what if?"
"well, it's too early to speculate..."
"Yeah, but what if?"
"well, it's too early to speculate..."
"Yeah, but what if?"
"well, it's too early to speculate..."
"Yeah, but what if?"
"well... it would be devastating"
"There you go... Swine flu WILL be devastating"
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:19, archived)
# British journalism at its finest
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:22, archived)
# It's finest? no where near... the nazi raccoons that idiot Julie moult reported on was FAR better :D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:28, archived)
# Well it's no good if it's just a pandemic of the sniffles
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:24, archived)
# It doesn't get any better than this
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:29, archived)
# poor pigs :(
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:34, archived)
# This cat is walking to town to buy drugs.


Tell me what you think about cornflakes in 10 words.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:21, archived)
# HE HAS A DOUG ADDICTION
Cornflakes are really really really really really really really bland.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:24, archived)
# Ahahaha ahaha ahaha
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:48, archived)
# I knew it.
Yep this pigs pic has certainly been flying around the internets.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:56, archived)
#
Cornflakes are special K's ginger cousin.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:27, archived)
# cornflakes look like sexually transmitted diseases in a cardboard box.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:29, archived)
# Some people get them every morning
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:32, archived)
# Corn flakes are an offense to the culinary gods.
Most breakfast cereals are in fact. No food should
ever be covered with cold milk.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:31, archived)
# I wonder who ever said, "Hey everyone, i've got a great idea - Let's poor milk on top of food!"
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:33, archived)
# Didn't Jesus preach something like that once?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:36, archived)
# I think it was L Ron Hubbard's grandfather.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:37, archived)
# That assmaster? He never said anything good.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:42, archived)
# This is because he sees money
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:54, archived)
# A strange and paranoid old man with a bowel fetish.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:37, archived)
# YOGHURT ENEMAS FOR EVERYBODY
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:43, archived)
# FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:46, archived)
# Awaken the enema within
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:48, archived)
# the other gods laugh at the gods of culination though
it's pretty much the work experience department
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:56, archived)
# Perhaps, but if you look at what many of those gods eat you'll find they have no tastes.
Souls, uncooked still beating hearts and the occasional flamebroiled whole goat.
Ambrosia might be the only thing in their diet that has any positive qualities at all.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:01, archived)
# mmm
custard of the gods
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:17, archived)
# I'll take some E, Speed and K please, with a side order of Nitrous Oxide,
and cornflakes are the most boring breakfast cereal in teh world ever, even porridge is more fun.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:35, archived)
# Cornflakes will always lose in a direct fight with bread

Are you still up, or up already?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:35, archived)
# Still.
Hello.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:37, archived)
# Hey
You don't sleep very much, do you?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:37, archived)
# Not massively.
Usually: work, pub, doss. In that order.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:39, archived)
# Wrong order.
Drink, sleep, ad infinitum.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:42, archived)
# It's like watching tennis. Only better.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:43, archived)
# Wasted
Sleep drinker, is sleep drinking.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:46, archived)
# I collect cornflakes. I have one with Jesus's face on.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:36, archived)
# ^ Arse face cat

Cornflakes are the dried sperm of mighty ancient love gods
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:40, archived)
# that is a good cat
i like cornflakes
they taste great
because of
sodium ascorbate
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:53, archived)
# cornflakes are not edible until they become crunchy nut cornflakes
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:20, archived)
# cat
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:11, archived)
# It's funny because you're shit.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:11, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHA
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:12, archived)
# hahahahaha!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:20, archived)
# I think you want teh talk --->

* Pffttt..
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:13, archived)
# Is it Tuesday?
Have some fluff to cheer us all up:

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:14, archived)
# Aww.. that's so cute. Bless him
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:15, archived)
# Maybe his leg had just grow
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:38, archived)
# Either that or it's some kind of novelty clock...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:43, archived)
# If that's the case, I'd like to see the cat strike 12
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:51, archived)
# It could have the numbers 1 to 12 on the front of the chair, mew the amount of mews for the time, and then literally strike it,
I'd aminate that, but I can't be arsed...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:00, archived)
# You git... I have now been hypnotized!
Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock
Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock
Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock - Tick - Tock... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:57, archived)
# Hehehe!
:)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:02, archived)
# off to work now - later!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:04, archived)
# You're only supposed to post stuff you've made or doctored in some way
like this:
not just 'something funny I found on teh interwebs', 'cos we make most of it...
or we'll come to Los Angeles and get you!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:34, archived)
# :D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:40, archived)
# I'm in an arsey mood today, I've got something really shit to do this weekend,
and I really don't wanna but I gotta... :(

So don't f*ck with me bro! *angry posture*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:42, archived)
# I've never seen or heard someone say something like this without instantly getting fucked with.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:44, archived)
# *tasers*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:46, archived)
# He comes
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:53, archived)
# The pervert!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:55, archived)
# I'm nice. I've not a bad word to say about anyone.
I hope your weekend isn't too shitty, bro. Don't tase me, bro.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:45, archived)
# haha
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:52, archived)
# me
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 23:18, archived)
# Aussies are out in force,
must be knock-off time over east then.
You guys are playing catchup - beer o'clock was 2 hrs ago.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:58, archived)
# I'm in the UK and I have a beer.
Sure it's 7am, but I've not slept. So really it's like the evening still.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:59, archived)
# No work today. Might aswell fanny around doing shit all.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:59, archived)
# OMG U THREADWASTE.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:59, archived)
# wasted
thread waster
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:00, archived)
# HERE IS THE THREAD DELETION
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:09, archived)
# Almost a full set this evening.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:12, archived)
# Right on!
I still love these pics of yours
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:13, archived)
# Still have thousands of source pics selected/collected for those.
Pull a new one out every now and then for Compos and shit.
I like doing full length (or short comics) more than one-shots.
Even the three/four panel style seems rather thin in my mind.
'Epic style' is more what I like to do. Others may disagree there.
It gets into the "words"/"TL:DR" area and all that. [/;-D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:26, archived)
# breakfast of champions
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:59, archived)
# postx2
cheers
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:02, archived)
# x2x2x2x2
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:06, archived)
# This is an example of a fine attitude. Well done sir!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:05, archived)
# PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:05, archived)
# Beer time!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:11, archived)
# I haven't opened a beer yet today
that might have something to do with the hangover which has only just started to go away.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:02, archived)
# get a hairy dog
up ya
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:03, archived)
# I was just thinking of opening one right now.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:04, archived)
# I should probably eat some breakfast first
otherwise I'll just end up how I was this morning
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:09, archived)
# Steak and chips at the Exhibition Hotel Surry Hills, sounds good
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:14, archived)
#


Is it Tuesday again?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:02, archived)
# I'm not sure if "out in force" is adequate, as there's only two of us and a kiwi online now.
I shall post an image for you........
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:03, archived)
# /*clink*/
'ImageBy r1ng0fyr3
Oversize & 'nuff said.
poe calls me to her slippery bf2 thighs.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:04, archived)
# Is it Tuesday?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:16, archived)
# Yes its Tuesday alright
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:19, archived)
# Motorcycles and Kung Fu feather lover.
And beer.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:21, archived)
# GOVERNEMTN HELTH WARNING: DO NOT READ IN BED
 


THAT'S WHEN THEY GET YOU
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:12, archived)
# THIS IS 100% FACT!
I HAVE THE SCARS TO PROVE IT.

ALSO
Indents and welts.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:14, archived)
# THE TEXT IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:17, archived)
# READING IN BED HAS GIVEN ME MASSIVE HARD STOPS IN ALL OF MY CREVICES
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:18, archived)
# This is true.
I fell asleep halfway through a Guardian editorial a few nights ago,
and woke up thinking New Labour deserved the benefit of the doubt.

Now that's some powerful mojo.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:22, archived)
# Unlikely, as it would have come out as "burnafit of the debt".
Not that I speal any butter than they or annething.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:25, archived)
# turn a new page with a big pe*n_i*s.
 

 
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:25, archived)
# He'll get a nasty paper cut doing that.
Or soggy pages... wait ...that was one of Shaw's.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:30, archived)
# If he slams the book shut, he could be in trouble
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:38, archived)
# IT MUST BE BOOK ON EXERCISING THE BONER
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:37, archived)
# hee haw!
at the public urinals
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:46, archived)
# TOILET GRAFFITI IS JUST ANOTHER ART FORM
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:47, archived)
# turn a page with jedi-eyebrow twitch!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:47, archived)
# i hav never red a book but i dnt fink i need 2 neway.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:48, archived)
# Trout are freshwater fish and have underwater weapons.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:28, archived)
# JUST LISTEN TO ME, YOUNG FELLOW
WHAT NEED IS THERE FOR FISH TO SING, WHEN I CAN WALK, AND BELLOW?

woo!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:34, archived)
# Never mind the fish, it's the frogs that really turn it on.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:38, archived)
# dirty old Paul, whacking it in his attic to kids' books
 
DIRTY, DIRTY OLD PAUL
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:39, archived)
# Cut him some slack, he's been through a lot recently.
And it was never easy for him to cope with his odd fetishes.

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:46, archived)
# pffffffffft!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:53, archived)
# He's also a fucking furry!!!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:02, archived)
# I myself was 'in the Tufty Club' when I was little.
(Meaning I was a member of the road safety-oriented Tufty Club, though, not that I fucked non-human creatures like Macca does, as this pic conclusively proves)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:07, archived)
#
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:03, archived)
# It's roar and bellow
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:50, archived)
# BONERS!
 
damn my deaf ears
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:52, archived)
# According to my studies saltWater fish can Only fire abOve the waterline.

Clearly more research is needed before the all the facts have been discovered.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:59, archived)
# Great
that's in my head now.

fish, fish, fish, big fish...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:10, archived)
#
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:35, archived)
# AIM FOR THE CROC
 
IT'S WHAT STEVE IRWIN WOULD'VE WANTED
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:36, archived)
# Are there saltwater crocodiles?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:40, archived)
# yes..
they're the really big ones.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saltwater_Crocodile
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:47, archived)
# PHWOAR
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:59, archived)
# a whole 'nother shoe ad?!?
:P
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:37, archived)
# Oh, do you know anywhere I can buy cheap trainers online?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:39, archived)
#
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:41, archived)
# Phwoar.
I've avoided that website to date, in case it contained distressing images.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:43, archived)
# sick you
:P
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:53, archived)
# it's hammertime, all over again
**GLEES**
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:46, archived)
# UPDATE:
How wrong was I? This website is fuckin' wikkid.
He's touting for a new agent on Twitter!

"I need someone, with Vision, Honesty, Integrity, Knows Television, Very Important, Loves Mr Motivator! about 14 hours ago." (sic)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:49, archived)
# join the motivation club?!
 
I REALLY CAN'T BE FUCKED
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:48, archived)
# OH SHIT!
That's awful! Sticks and fire are to weak to cleanse us of that.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:57, archived)
# GET IN SHAPE, DICKHEADS

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:01, archived)
# In other news:
I'm off to Japan in a couple of weeks to do some weeaboo shit.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:05, archived)
# Oooh have fun
I'm off to Scotland next week
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:07, archived)
# Fagging around Japan.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:09, archived)
# I'm going to do my hair like a manga character
suggestions on which one plz
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:12, archived)
# ichi the killer
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:14, archived)
# Blue hair guy.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:14, archived)
# i don't have blue hair
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:16, archived)
# I don't know any other Anime guys. Sorry, man.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:17, archived)
# this holiday is already off to a bad start
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:20, archived)
# You'll need to learn about videogames. Here is a guide:
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:23, archived)
# Bridget.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:17, archived)
# Haizara.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:21, archived)
# Totoro.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:23, archived)
# MISTY FROM POKÉMON.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:25, archived)
# I DON'T KNOW ANY GOD DAMN MANGA CHARACTERS
 
SHOTA CAT, MAYBE?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:38, archived)
# I don't know any manga characters either. Just go as Monkey or Piggsy
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:19, archived)
# Run Domokun! He's after your pooper!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:11, archived)
# I wanked in a sock once but not a shoe.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:37, archived)
# WANKSHOES!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:38, archived)
# Hahah
he slows down as the page loads then speeds up again.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:41, archived)
# Don't we all
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:42, archived)
# no no no no no no....
He's the page pump. That's how the interwebs work, like a series of pipes. Usually you cannot see the pumps working, but on b3ta, you get to look under the hood.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:44, archived)
#

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:59, archived)
# WHAT THE FUCK IS A CAT DOING THERE? TRA LA LA LA LA.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:05, archived)
# VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:46, archived)
# Masturbate into my shoes!
welcome to our website : www.cheap-nike-sneaker.com
wholesale cheap Jordan shoes we always offer good products and best service for you Good quatity, Fastest shipment, Low price,No minimum order! We never mind starting business from minimum order even one pair.
[MOD EDIT] banned...


(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:01, archived)
# i love you

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:03, archived)
# That makes me sadder
than the spam...

Nice that you found a fail image that doesn't even need toap, though, so cheers.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:09, archived)
# That makes me much much sadder
than the fact that the wobbly girl pic is now too small...

Two wrongs don't make a right you know.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:10, archived)
# Would you like me to linky it? I will if anyone asks.
People always seem to get upset when I post this, even though the meaty bit is just a model's pouty mouth and not, in fact, the inside of a lunatic's rectum.

If you look at the actual picture, there is nothing explicitly there. You're just implying it yourself.

It's people's own sordid, experienced minds that make them scream when they see this.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:19, archived)
# Wow, my first mod edit! I'm honoured.
And he even beat me to it when I was offering to self-censor.

Despite there being nothing remotely pornographic in the image, apart from nudges to the imagination of the viewer.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:22, archived)
# Hmmm
Simulated nastiness I can take, but I have to know that it's simulated for the effect to work. I'm not going to spend enough time looking at a goatse image to figure out that it's faked, and even then there is the question of why...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:23, archived)
# That's bullshit!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:23, archived)
# No, it isn't.
All you saw was a pair of familiar, glistening hands making a gripping motion (totally innocuous in themselves) grafted on to a couple of other entirely innocuous images.

The pic itself is entirely implicit, and not at all explicit.

I wouldn't've posted it if I thought it was, cos I don't want to cause anyone trouble at work.

I am sorry if it's caused any bother, but... ffs!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:30, archived)
# To be honest I couldn't give a rat's arse about the picture and I'm not working at the moment
but this idea of "hey I put something innocent in the picture so it's ok" really doesn't work - if I was in an office and someone ten feet away saw what looked like a picture of goatse on my screen, the HR manager really wouldn't be interested in my "no, it's actually a model's lips made to look like a stretched anus" argument.

NSFW means that if someone walked past your desk they would assume you're looking at porn/nastyness.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:45, archived)
# I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:46, archived)
# I GET TO DO WHAT I WANT BUT ALSO I DON'T GET PAID
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:50, archived)
# YOU COULD INVEST IN A WEBCAM MAYBE
 
I AM SURE YOU HAVE GOT WAHT IT TAKES TO BECOME A SUCCESSFUL INTERNET BUISNESS
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:33, archived)
# I HAVE ONE BUILT INTO MY LAPTOP
I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER USED IT
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:35, archived)
# No, no YOU haven't.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:37, archived)
# It flips around and I keep it aiming away from me
so that view of a stack of cds must be a bit of a disappointment.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:45, archived)
# CAN I BORROW YOUR MARIAH CAREY CDS PLEASE GRONKPAN
 
I PROMISE I WILL CLEAN THEM BEFORE I GIVE THEM BACK
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 5:25, archived)
# The only people who would see that pic and associate it with a stretched arsehole
are people who've already seen goatse.
So the damage was already done.

I must've posted that pic 3 or 4 times on the dayshift in the last 3 years or so, to a 'mixed' response - but never censorship.

Are we gonna have our b3tapics pulled because we're IMPLYING stuff?

What's happening?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:53, archived)
# Don't get hissy, that doesn't help anyone.
Let's just say that if I set that picture as my desktop on my work pc, I'd get called into some kind of HR meeting to discuss appropriate behaviour in the workplace.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:09, archived)
# hahaha!
*Imagines the scenario*

Since you put it like that, I feel doubly honoured.

And I take your point.

Here, have some real filth.

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:15, archived)
# Phwoar...
dirty minx
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:23, archived)
# well, I stared at it for a REALLY long time
:D
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:28, archived)
# That's the spirit!

(You sick fucker)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:45, archived)
# I might have to make more of these. Unless you can sell me a pair of these exactly as illustrated. If not... FUCK YOU AND THE COW THAT EXCRETED YOU.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:08, archived)
# My mind may be being prompted by the discussion up the board a bit
but it looks like Kermit is about to goatse his mouth there.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:42, archived)
# The correct technique is crucial.

If you want to avoid MOD-B&ING, LOL.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:47, archived)
# WE SHOULD HAVE A GOATSE LOOK-ALIKE COMPO
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:50, archived)
# LOL!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:54, archived)
# Oh. Haha. I just noticed the ring. So it *is* intentional.
:)

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:53, archived)
# needs more glistening on the hands
;)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:22, archived)
# don't mess with me mate, you know the sort of stuff i really want
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:09, archived)
# I'D LIKE SOME VAGINASHOES PLEASE.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:10, archived)
# I know where you can get
a couple of gloves...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:11, archived)
# ASSGLOVES?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:14, archived)
# These would be fist gloves
not ass.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:17, archived)
# Well, I'll take a set of each.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:20, archived)
# I THINK SOMEONE SENT ME A LINK TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT ONCE
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:48, archived)
# HERE YOU GO, TARTARSAUCE
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:49, archived)
# Rapitinui's Dad has sex with feet.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:57, archived)
# Still not getting any?
lol
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:19, archived)
# OOOOH YOU BITCH
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:32, archived)
# They're not shoes. I CAN'T WEAR THESE.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:58, archived)
# i've got your misplaced holes right here, bub!
SORRY!!! (fuck fuck fuck, i can't HREF very well)
NSFW!!!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:28, archived)
# ahhhhahhhhahah
 
nice write-up.
Is that first product shot a tubgirl reference?
THAT'S PRETTY TWISTED, GRONKPAN
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:31, archived)
# BIM BIM BIM
BIM BIM BIM BIM BIM BIM BIM BIM
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:33, archived)
# NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:41, archived)
#
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:15, archived)
# OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:20, archived)
#
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:22, archived)
# that's the saddest critter I have ever seen
i bet it's delicious
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:24, archived)
# Yeah it's a handly slab-shaped meatstick thing
in a world of carnivores with carving knives.
Its only defence is to turn green when afraid, trying to camouflage itself as rancid luncheon meat
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:27, archived)
# oh :/
I thought it was delicious lime cake
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:30, archived)
# Haha
you're absolutely right of course :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:31, archived)
# If Salad Fingers was a rectangle.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:30, archived)
# Haha!
I've just laughed hard enough to hurt myself. I really don't know why this cracks me up. But he does appear to have some kind of respiratory problem.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:31, archived)
# :)
This is the last one I made. They're numbered sequentially, so you can use the URL of the one I posted and just subtract 1 from the filename each time to see them all.
Edit: yeah that's clear as fucking mud. What I mean is, rargle5.gif, rargle4.gif, etc.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:35, archived)
# awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
I'd only seen number five out of those.



I think number two is the cutest
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:42, archived)
# Ah, I remember those!
You've got an amazing mind. Keenly aware.

I'm afraid I'll be needing another one. I've used this one up doing stuff like this-

Photobucket

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:43, archived)
# He just got caught taking a dump in someone's shoe and is about to receive a stern talking to.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:43, archived)
# pulsating protein orbs do bad things
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:23, archived)
# Hahaha
that's a bit disturbing :)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:24, archived)
#
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:36, archived)
# AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:34, archived)
# Yeah, that's about what I thought, or possibly
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:36, archived)
#
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 6:38, archived)
# I like how this moron keeps holding on to the rail.
And wont let go of his case until he's half overturned.
Such a totally braindead twunt! A fitting reply.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:56, archived)
# Thats something that gets learn very young.
You'd really have to be aware or used to falling Up stairs to want to let go. I'm sure his brain didn't have the first clue what was going on.

All it knew to do was to hold on to something and hope for the best.

It's a funny clip.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:33, archived)
# a google search found that this was not such an original idea, but ...meh


edit: the idea was sparked by my boss, who sometimes applies her native germanic pronunciations into her english sentences. Today, she was telling about an unfortunate incident that didn't her her physically, but it hurt her eggo.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:40, archived)
# mmmm ego,smells like shit
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:44, archived)
# like a pig in
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:56, archived)
# that piggy looks like *sooooo ahhhhhhhhhh* man
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:01, archived)
# It's having a piss inbetween Halle Berry's baps.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:05, archived)
# WELL WHO WOULDN'T, UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:09, archived)
# Do you have that dream too?
I thought it was just me.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:12, archived)
# Lucky, lucky pig.
I'm cancerous with envy.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:12, archived)
# (not his real legs)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:11, archived)
# "ID not eat anything else"
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:48, archived)
# Freud was a dick.
 

 
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:10, archived)
# A woman with a Germanic accent can push my would/wouldn't threshold up by at least 10 years.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:45, archived)
# 20 at least
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 3:31, archived)
[challenge entry] He's been right all along!

He knows the truth!!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:14, archived)
# He does

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:20, archived)
# Holy shit:
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:31, archived)
# ahhhahhah
nice

*loads shotgun*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:33, archived)
# Don't forget, remove the head or destroy the brain.
Or wait two hours.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:34, archived)
# "If you have a gun, shoot 'em in the head.
That's a sure way to kill 'em.
If you don't, get yourself a club or a torch.
Beat 'em or burn 'em - they go up pretty easy."
 
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:38, archived)
# Nice one creating panic zeltergiset.
Why not mock death while you're at it.

Also am I the only one who finds it fucking impossible to read the BBC homepage now?
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:35, archived)
# I'd be surprised if anyone was panicked by this.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:38, archived)
# Most people probably saw London quarantined and then ran away from their computer and cut their head off with an axe.
You're the worst thing since hitler.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:40, archived)
# I expect I've already caused the deaths of every person reading b3ta at the moment, besides us.
Next thing we know I'll be writing headlines like this
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:42, archived)
# If fairness you'd have to be an idiot to trust the Daily Express.
Especially when it's underneath a story about French and Saunders....

Because that's really what I want to read about when the last ounce of my fever ridden body drifts away, not the works or Milton or Keates, French and fucking Saunders.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:44, archived)
# :( I want more zombies
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:39, archived)
# Well, download Left 4 Dead on your pc
It's free all of today (Friday)
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:43, archived)
# FREE, WHAT WHO EH?!
Are you making up news again because if so they'll be hell to pay.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:46, archived)
# Hehe, nope
It's on Steam, a 24 hour free trial for everybody. Also something like 40% off the game this weekend in case you like it so much you want to play it for more than a day.

store.steampowered.com/ - top right
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:49, archived)
# How does the installation thing work, not used steam before.
Can I download the file onto my pc and then shunt it over to my laptop which might actually stand a chance of playing the thing.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:55, archived)
# Nah, you need to download the Steam program on the PC you want to play it on
Then inside the Steam program you can browse the games store (similar to iTunes I suppose), and it'll then download your game for you. As soon as it's done you launch the game from within Steam, and Steam is used for choosing multiplayer servers etc.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:56, archived)
# Pfftles
Sure you're not just blowing Steam?
*licks finger*
*pops finger in air*
*stubs finger on cupboard*
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:35, archived)
# ooooh
 
I wonder if my flatmate's PC has enough grunt to handle it
that would be sweet
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:49, archived)
# This'll tell you
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:52, archived)
# sweeet
 
as expected, the graphics card in the work PC isn't up to it
I'll check at home too but it seems unlikely
A SHAME
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:16, archived)
# that's very handy
now I know why my son can't play Command and Conquer Red Alert 3.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:17, archived)
# BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET HIM
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:40, archived)
# WITH A STICK!
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 4:34, archived)
# i was bored so i morphed into sticky paper face mman to scare my dog,as you can see he wasnt impressed
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:39, archived)
# AAAAAAAHHHHAHHHHAHHAHH
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:26, archived)
# and similarly
 

 
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 2:29, archived)

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