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Fuck YOU, Dave Trouser.
This is important.

I have made an e-card for Sir Sand Goblin here: www.b3ta.com/board/9512841
Please add your e-messages there if you'd like to e-sign in e-support of this brave young internetter and his battle against slow, painful death.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:02, archived)

I WON'T SIGN IT
SSG IS A CUNTFACE.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:03, archived)

our princess is dying
withering as we speak..
just because he has a stupid face shouldn't stop you from weeping and shaking
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:16, archived)

Has his condition worsened tonight?
Sorry, I was out with offline people.
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:05, archived)

I don't know if his condition is worse,
but I do know that his girlfriend is hot. I think it's that positive, rather than the cancer stuff, that we should all be focusing on here.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:13, archived)

lynx?

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:15, archived)

Here.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:20, archived)

Phwoar - check out the fetlocks on that!
...His girlfriend's not bad either! ;D
(

kitaro is all, like, "Nifty Biscuits" 'n that..., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 5:41, archived)

you are too good to him
he deserves comic sans at least
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:14, archived)

I feel very confused by this

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 7:16, archived)

Fuck You

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:55, archived)

Not really.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:58, archived)

Ijust watched the new terminator
I rather get spunked on by midgets than watch that or its sequels ever again
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:58, archived)

The series is better.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:59, archived)

So is Chuck.
www.virgin1.co.uk/shows/chuck/
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:02, archived)

you know, I actually watch that

I'm an Adam Baldwin fan
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 6:25, archived)

SO GOOD IT HAS BEEN CANCELLED LOL

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:06, archived)

it's a shame
i quite like bale
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:01, archived)

He is as exciting as cardboard
put him in front of a kitten and they will have hours of fun... probably.
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:04, archived)

the machinist
americAN psycho.. he started off really well
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 4:18, archived)

Can we get back to SSG's hot girlfriend?
I was enjoying hearing about that young buck's stunning young filly.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:05, archived)

JMG has posed the question.
And now demands an answer.
SSG must surely deliver
Something something cancer.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:07, archived)

'Cause rthym is a dancer

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:09, archived)

wait, why do we never discuss my hot girlfriend?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:07, archived)

You live with your Mother, and are bald.
I have no proof of either of these statements. I just have absolutely nothing to return banter with.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

OH ABERDEEN
he can't see this, I'm on block
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:12, archived)

Tony_ doesn't count as a girlfriend,
no matter how good he looks in a dress.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

~~in a dress~~ under duress
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:09, archived)

he's not really my type
I don't go for guys half my age and twice my weight
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:09, archived)

I support SSG and wish him all the best in his battle against this most malignant of foes.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:07, archived)

we should make a get well soon card in MS paint
and we can all E-sign it

that'd be a nice gesture
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

That'd be truly touching.
I bet it'd be a real comfort to his family and hot girlfriend once he's dead.

I'll get started right away.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:10, archived)

he wouldn't accept it unless it invovled cricket bats
who can draw cricket bats?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:10, archived)

Get it started gilgers.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:11, archived)

MCB's on the case
we need to organise an order of signing the card or it'll descend into chaos

ME FIRST, ME ME ME
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:13, archived)

BAGSY SECOND. FUCK
YESSS!
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:15, archived)

I just remembered this
www.gilgamesh.zen.co.uk/SubliminalEsme/
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:16, archived)

Jesus, dewd.
I'm just about to go to bed and everything.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:17, archived)

s1.b3ta.com/host/creative/10642/1244687058/iathswssgp.gif
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:24, archived)

Oh my.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:36, archived)

DAMN IT I WANTED TO BE FIRST.
I want to sign last, then. I don't want to get stuck in the middle with the blue-namers and background noise.

This blue-namer thing has caught on really well hasn't it?
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:17, archived)

I basically started it.
I don't want to gloat or anything but I'm awesome.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:18, archived)

GEDDIT!?

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

Chavs?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:09, archived)

I meant the Irish.
Alright Spideywidey? How're you finding living upside down?
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:11, archived)

S'alright.
Good craic, though I fucking hate winter, I've a cold already. How's yourself? Been up to much lately?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:17, archived)

Usual stuff.
I get to escape to France for a few weeks soon. Sunshine, cheap booze and big mountains await me.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:19, archived)

Nicely.
Right, this laptop's gonna die. Talk to you all tomorrow, maybe.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:22, archived)

she'll be mine soon
*checks watch*
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

GOOD THREAD*
*quality 22 carrots and a cabbage

you can't afford a cleaner.. a chef.. a butler FFS
what's the cheapest thing you can get done by someone else?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:49, archived)

This thread is shit.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:49, archived)

guitar hero is shit

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:50, archived)

Wow, you totally used something I said earlier against me.
You are so cool
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:52, archived)

A classic post-zing counter-pwnt retort.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:55, archived)

I'm not going to post anything good.
It's too late for that.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:58, archived)

What we are witnessing here, mike, is a battle between two of the greatest thinkers of our time.
Who will stand victorious when all is done I could not say, but one thing is for sure - what we will see tonight will be remembered for as long as men value quick thinking and wit, and we are privileged to be taking part even as spectators.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:59, archived)

I'm tired :(
I keep finding things to watch. I should stop.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:01, archived)

I sit here with bated breath. History will be irrevocably changed tonight.
It is truly an honour to hold court with two of the shiniest wits on LOL SPOONERISM.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:02, archived)

Hahaha.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:05, archived)

using words
not saying anything.. great job
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:55, archived)

No, I have said something.
I've said that you used something I said earlier against me.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:58, archived)

i've just realised how really really shit you are.
i say just, i mean, i guess, re-realised?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:59, archived)

:(
I don't wish to argue with someone who has cancer.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:01, archived)

the pixels you wasted have made no headway in forum chat
you are retrograde
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:01, archived)

Now you see, this is your inherent problem.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:03, archived)

well i don't take an affront on a game
personally
so yes .. not enough passion
i guess
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

What?

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:11, archived)

See this?
This is you, this is.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:51, archived)

I went on that site and got this
randomn.es/images/687e58ec307fe859f7bb32837c44f0d9.gif

I think that's the closest to instant win I'm going to get. Oh, it's NSFW.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:52, archived)

~~instant win~~ sex
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:05, archived)

No, you're thinking of yourself there dear.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:06, archived)

OMG WITTY

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

If you want wit, I suggest you speak to Stephen Fry.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:10, archived)

Well, no
Because I'm not sure he'd appreciate a call at this hour.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 3:13, archived)

bless

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:53, archived)

ok, I'm going to go and get some corn flakes
and if no one has posted a good thread when I get back I'll go to bed maybe
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:45, archived)

Pressure's on for Sammi to lose something.
....lolololololol
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:46, archived)

jmc or gigly?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:38, archived)

I really like 'How Bizarre'
So jmc.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:39, archived)

cunt

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:40, archived)

I'll be honest, I don't know where I'm going with this

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:39, archived)

the cuteness of spelling your name wrong
must thaw that ice heart of yours
maybe
or puke.. which ever.. bringing vampyrecat out tonight?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:47, archived)

i'm actually on rigby's side in this.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:40, archived)

Bunch of egg chasing wankers.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:40, archived)

Oh....rigby.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:41, archived)

let's be nice again.
let's discuss just how beautiful my girlfriend is.
this is important.
looks.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:42, archived)

i have a unicorn in my kitchen
i don't know which bit to eat first :((((
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:44, archived)

I hope you enjoy her wonderful company to the fullest, sweet prince of b3ta.
Your passing will be forever mourned.

We are truly about to lose a great one and my thoughts are with your family in these difficult times. God can give you strength. Fight on, brave soldier.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:46, archived)

weirdo

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:41, archived)

cancer
I'll take my chances
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:41, archived)

Sammi or cancer?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

is this some kind of eye exam?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

yes
gigly is the shrivelled up hateful cunt the other is your left testicle
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:32, archived)

ANGER ON THE INTERNET

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:34, archived)

hardly
i would need jmc mixed with gonzo for that
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:36, archived)

I'd make a comment about you but I don't know who you are!
I can only assume you want to have sex with Sammi

you do know she's deformed, right?
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:37, archived)

i won't have you start bullying riggers.
he's way cooler and sexier than you could ever be.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:38, archived)

Erm...have you seen the photo of Gilgers at the wedding?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:39, archived)

that wouldn't make a difference.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:40, archived)

What if I told you he was wearing a carnation?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:42, archived)

i'd think you were lying!!!!1111111111

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:42, archived)

Chips.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

One's interminable...

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

Actually that doesn't really work but it's gone 2am and I don't give a (very expensive) fuck.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

the other is cancer!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

Well...terminal.
But it would have to be terminable and yours isn't because you're going to die.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

I'd rather fuck a tumour

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

Cancer.
Duh.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

my luck being what it is, I'll end up with both

(

Shiksa, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

yawn.. bullying is boring

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:32, archived)

Only people who have been bullied say that

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:32, archived)

Only boring people get bullied.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:35, archived)

shut up cunt

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:33, archived)

If you don't jump on this bandwagon, so help me God, I'm going to bully you into next week.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:33, archived)

haha

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:35, archived)

Game of Thrones anyone?
Some kind of geeky hysteria surrounds the HBO casting of Game of Thrones: A song of fire and ice. Does anyone give a fuck?

Edit: Sammi rules all
(B3taByter Meh, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

Sammi has a cleaner
And (very expensive) sunglasses.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

I hope this is a new meme of some sort

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

Also, she nearly cried

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

Replying to myself, here

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

i just wondered if sammi has as much trouble with her smelling as she does with her hearing,
because
haha
here we go, here comes a punchline,
haha
man
she can't
smell her own
shit.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

I'm going to stand up for sammi here.
as a gentleman and all that.

*slaps your face with white glove*

outside, pistols at dawn sir!
(

TBL I posted this on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

But dawn isn't a cunt.
I'd point mine at Sammi.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

I see what you did there
*tumble weeds*
(

TBL I posted this on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

Not all of this shit I'm throwing is going to stick to Sammi.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

i agree.. she maybe the dumbest thing on earth.. maybe..
but acting like pack animals is fucking disgusting

so she's richer and thicker than you.. soo what? focus your disgust on something important
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

INTERNET WHITE KNIGHT ALERT

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:35, archived)

get a life

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:38, archived)

Pfffhahahahaha

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:43, archived)

I have no trouble with my hearing any more
Actually, I do.

The music is now too loud in clubs.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

i do apologise.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:20, archived)

Yes, it's all your fault
you cancerous cunt
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

WHAT?

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

just the face and personality you need to work on then!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

Don't forget the cleaner

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

She actually has a (very expensive) paper bag and a (very expensive) spokesperson.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

And I need to gain a need to look good online
Obviously.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

~~a need to look good online~~ any attractive features
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

Some people find me attractive
And I don't want to be attractive to the shallow cunts. That's the bonus to not being pretty - you don't attract the dickheads. (no pun intended)
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

~~Some people find~~ Ray Charles finds
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:30, archived)

You made a funny
Well done!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

A (very expensive) funny, no less
Well done, (very expensive) me!
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:32, archived)

Oh, so THAT'S your beef?
Me saying that my sunglasses were expensive? Get over it.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:33, archived)

we're just jealous of your (very expensive) sunglasses.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:35, archived)

Careful, now
If you get any wittier, the internet might catch fire, with (very expensive) repercussions.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:36, archived)

You're attractive in that 'picasso painting' kind of way.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:32, archived)

Oily and mental looking?

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:33, archived)

I think he was referring to offline.
Unless you're just going to conduct your whole life online now. Through your stenographer.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

Well, considering he's never met me in person
He wouldn't know what my personality is like.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

I have a very beautiful girlfriend.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

But do you have (very expensive) sunglasses?

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

NOT LIKE ME YOU DONT

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

She's mine now.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:20, archived)

:(
but i have CANCER.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

Not for long!

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

LIES!

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

I hardly think SSG would waste these last few precious months
telling lies. Online.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

what kind of monster would lie about something as serious as cancer?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

Not the kind of monster I'd want to play quoits with,
that's for sure!
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:35, archived)

SSG has a girlfriend
The Gentleman Bastard advanced her.
She politely declined
He didn't have cancer.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

I'll be honest with you here,
no, I doubt anyone gives a fuck.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

Sammi doesn't give a fuck I don't think.
It depends what time it is, let me just check.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

Ahh yes.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6216376

Worst. Town Crier. Ever.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

I'll bear that it mind if I apply for the post of Town Crier

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:20, archived)

OH MAN

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

Haha.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

I am ROFL'ing
TOTALLY.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

Hahaha where did THAT come from?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

I like some of Elton John's songs
I've also recently cried whilst watching a film.
What makes you gay?
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

Sammi has a cleaner

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

my girlfriend is very beautiful.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

here is evidence that i have at least touched her,
for you non-believers.
photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs032.snc1/2479_135664945174_634545174_6276636_2556938_n.jpg
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

You LOVELY YOUNG MAN!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

She's probably feeling pity for you on account of your impending death.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

Let's hope he doesn't start getting better,
or she might leave him!
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

my cancer is the glue that binds us together.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:04, archived)

Ah, emotional blackmail.
Good man.

"Can you pass me the salt?"
"It's in the cupboard!"
"Cancer!"
*sigh* "I'll get it."
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

Roses are red
SSG's a chancer.
He has a nice girlfriend
Because he's got cancer.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

Does using your beard as velcro count?

(

benryves Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

for me,
that is not a beard, that counts as stubble.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

I have a picture of myself with Noel Edmonds in a similar pose.
That doesn't mean I'm having sex with him.

Or does it...
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:05, archived)

would you hurry up and die
i have something meaty for her
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:06, archived)

if you want a bit,
just ask.
i must watch though, thems the rules.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

Picking up from down there VV
Why do you think I hate you?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:11, archived)

because you constantly pick on me.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:12, archived)

Aww, I'm sorry, SSG
I don't hate you. I don't hate anybody online!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:12, archived)

that is glorious news!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

Except probably mike woz ere.
It's alright, you can tell me.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

What have I done to make that cunt hate me?
List one thing.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

i'm asking
we should do it on a rock in gower
less publicity and all the chance for you to slip and die
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:12, archived)

So THAT'S where the cancer started!

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:10, archived)

NO TIME FOR JOKES JUST TELL ME I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND WHO LIKES IT RIGHT UP THE FANNY

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

she does!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

*UP THE FANNY fives*

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

I can't believe you're online friends with Esme now.
I always thought WE were online friends. We don't really always talk all that much, and I've never mentioned it to you, but one time I did draw a picture of us playing quoits together and I wished it was true.

Doesn't that count for anything at all?
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

she still has not sent me a gaz or anything
:(
i am starting to think she is a con artist.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

oh yeah.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

And (very expensive) sunglasses

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

They were in her towel basket earlier.
She lost them. But then she found them so she didn't actually fucking lose them at all.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

She nearly cried, you know

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

I'd rather fuck a boy than Sammi.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

I fail to see the difference

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

The boy has a full set of chromosomes.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

~~chromosomes~~ teeth
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

~~teeth~~ ear drums
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

~~ear drums~~ sunglasses
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

Yes, yes I do

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:04, archived)

Hang on
Is this a shit attempt at sarcasm, or are you admitting that you are a man?

Answers, please. The internet is watching.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:06, archived)

It's saying I have eardrums, you tit

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:06, archived)

No, it's saying the boy has a full set of eardrums.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:08, archived)

She's fucked it up again.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:09, archived)

It's 2am
And I couldn't give a fuck.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:10, archived)

you're at your best when you don't give a fuck!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:11, archived)

Can't you get your butler to give a fuck for you, you cunt?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:11, archived)

Sounds like utter bitterness

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

i hear you.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

I'd rather be able to hear and not have a butler.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

I can hear thanks
I stopped using a hearing aid about a month ago.

And no, I don't know how it happened. Ever since an infection cleared up.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

so.. no braces, no hearing aid..
Well HELLO.

*panders*
(

TBL I posted this on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

Replying to all these posts is the perfect way of showing it

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

I've got nothing else to do
Just like you seem to have nothing better to do
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:15, archived)

I'm not sure how that is any way an insult
"Yeah, you're black, but I'm black too, NIGGER!"
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

It wasn't meant to be an insult, that's why.

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

~~teeth~~ brain cells
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

Oh, aren't you clever

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:09, archived)

...

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

This is not the time for Morse code

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:04, archived)

You know what, it's actually going to go on THE LIST.
She's hit her hat-trick I think.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:05, archived)

Actually she's on four now.
She's twice as much of a spastic failure as anyone else on /talk according to THE LIST.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

.. - ... / .- .-.. .-- .- -.-- ... / - .. -- . / ..-. --- .-. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. .
(

TBL I posted this on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:05, archived)

I agree

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:08, archived)

What the fuck would 's' stand for anyway?!

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:06, archived)

The sound of you breathing through those mental teeth

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:12, archived)

Those 'mental' teeth that I've since had corrected?

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

Still a genetic fault
GENEFAIL
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:15, archived)

Oh, I'm gutted
Despite there being nothing genetically wrong with me, except maybe my thyroid.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

Mental spastic teeth is a genetic flaw
As is thyroidlols.

DOUBLESPACKER.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

don't get confused.
he meant rather than three full sets of teeth.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:05, archived)

I'd rather fuck Robert Mugabe than Sammi

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:08, archived)

my passionate love for duran duran

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

I heard SSG's girlfriend is very beautiful.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

yes, yes yes!
let's talk about how beautiful she is a bit more.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

Not until I get my fiver for saying it the first time.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

a fiver?
he saw you coming mate. He promised me £20
(

TBL I posted this on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:04, archived)

Motherfucker.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:12, archived)

To be fair
'Life is Beautiful' is the only film that has made me shed a manly tear.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

www.boston.com/news/globe/magazine/articles/2005/08/14/what_makes_people_gay/
(

TBL I posted this on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

bumsex
bumsex makes you gay. Other than that, an interest in floral shirts?
(B3taByter Meh, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:15, archived)

bumsex makes you gay?
ah... my girlfriend must be gay then.
(

TBL I posted this on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

fuck yeah
I think you should tell her.

On second thoughts,,,,,,,don't

and

you're a lucky fucker
(B3taByter Meh, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

I could say I'd kill each and every one of you to get in to Cheryl Tweedy's pants.
But in all fairness I'd do the same to get in to Norah Batty's pants, and she's dead.
How low life are b3tans, for you?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

Do you have a butler, JMG?

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

That Sammi cunt does ennit.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

yeah, she's called "mam"

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

i thought the geordies just said ma?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

i'll have to take your word for that

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

i went once
scarier than the red light district in mexico city
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

No.
:(

When I was in Costa Rica, though. I had an entire family from Nicaragua who'd do my laundry, the dishes and all the cleaning.
I felt terrible. But on the flip side, the family had a baby who'd never take his eyes off me. I think I was the first blonde he'd seen.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

But did any of them ever drop your designer sunglasses into the washbasket?
This is very important.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

You're BLONDE?
That's not right, surely?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

He meant to say "bald".

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

You forgot to call her a cunt.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

Well I'm not fucking editing it now.
It's too late.

No, I'm sorry. I just won't.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

I'm adding it mentally to the end of any replies to her posts.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

wouldn't a wig be a bit hot
in costa rica?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

She's a mingy slag.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

She's LOVELY.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6216263
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

recursive posting

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6216313
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:04, archived)

THIS
AGREEING WITH JMG, HERE.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

Very
But hopefully most of them have the ability to leave the house, as do I, so it's more of an amusement than a problem.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

Cunt.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

Again, offended.

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

as do I

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

someone is feeling sad inside
:(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

Yes, 2am isn't usually spent in my house, being 22 and all that

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

oh man.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

Did you at 22?

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

i'm not sure i know where you're going with this,
but i will roll with it.
no i did not at 22?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

Sammi's usually getting chaperoned around town about now on a date Daddy lined up for her.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

From the grave
ooooOOOOoooOOo
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

Buy a new one.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

I'm not rich

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:04, archived)

Spend most nights not in your house at 2am, I meant

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

oh fucking hell.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

that'll be your manky pancreas

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

Didn't he say that his chemo wasn't due to start for a while?
Surely it can't be that manky? It may still even be pretty.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:53, archived)

fuck you sammi.
it's cancerous for fucks sake. why do you think i need chemo?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

I'd shag SSG's pancreas, cancerous or not, in preference to you

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

Hahahahahahaahaha

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

enough talking about how shit sammi is.
let's talk about how beautiful my girlfriend is.
which is, very.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

Yes she is
And she reminds me of somebody very famous, though I can't think who.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

this means a lot,
coming from you.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

Just because I'm not a looker
Doesn't mean I can't identify a dog.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

i meant,
it means a lot, coming from someone who hates me.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

Robert Mugabe?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:04, archived)

she's my mugababe.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:05, archived)

*pays upfront*

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

That actually makes me more than happy.

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

we have sammi
she's pretty good
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

tonight's /talk hate figure is Sammi
get with it or get left behind, shmucko
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

I bet I can change that, G!
No doubt a critique of Linux of World of Warcraft shall set off a in-house weeper.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

yeah!
YEAH!
also, my girlfriend is really beautiful!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

Cole, dickhead
Also, I would wipe my cock with a cheese grater just for her to whisper 'Bum' in my ear.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

Cheryl Tweedy is one of the four members of girls aloud who haven't asked me if I've got salted nuts.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

So anyway,
I was busy trying to poach my (very expensive) salmon, this morning, and I got a phonecall half way through from my butler's wife (i forget her name) telling me that my butler's cancer had progressed to several more organs and blah blah blah and anyway, my salmon ended up being completely overdone and I had to make do with scrambled egg (free range) on toast (organic bread).
How has your life been damaged inconceivably by your employees?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

IN SO MANY WAYS.
I can't even LOOK at caviar any more.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

i want to be your new online friend.
how can we make this happen?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

We should totally gaz, or some shit.
Would you like a Hula Hoop?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

Gaz me any question about hula hoops
and I will totally answer it.
This could be the start of a beautiful online relationship.
Also we can bitch about Sammi behind her back.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

YEAH!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

Can I get a cc pls.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

So what's your favourite flavour of Hula Hoops?
Mine is Barbecue Beef.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

why would you do that?
it's much more fun bitching about her in the open
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

fuck off SSG, Esme is MY online friend
or she was

until she turned into a two-timing cow
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

:(((((
I'm still your gal, Gilgy.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

My stock-broker sold some stock for me only for it to increase a further 100 pence before falling.
I use daddy's stock-broker now.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

They're all common.
I heard my maid talking about something called "Hen dups", some sort of musical ensbamble headed by "Dabby".
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

What on earth?
Where do they think we are, 18th century London?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

I had the evil wench flaggelated by Boris, my eastern European muscle.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

THIS STEAK ISN'T ABERDEEN!!

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

I thought you were JMG, then.

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

Out of interest.
What were your initial symptoms before your diagnosis?
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

his pancreas fell out

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

i lost weight and got stomach cramps.
i thought it was because i wasn't eating.
why?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

Literally just out of interest.
A friend of mine royally fucked his pancreas a couple of months ago and is now diabetic. He initially went to the doctor for bad migraines. It's fucked up.

Anyway, back to ripping Sammi.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

Symptoms: being a cunt, stupid hippy hair, horrible facial disfigurement, "really beautiful" girlfriend.
Diagnosis: Pancreatic cancer.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

:(

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

Really, the signs were all there.
It's just a shame nobody worked it out sooner.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

my girlfriend is actually really beautiful though!
LOOK!
photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v258/208/125/634545174/n634545174_3333887_9274.jpg
i have no idea how i did it.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

Oooh, she is.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

SHE IS.
I AM GOING TO GLOAT ABOUT IT.
HAHAHA.
my girlfriend is REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

it's bound to end in her dumping me
for someone who is not an idiot :(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

Nooooooooooooo

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

it's ok,
as soon as she does that, i'll be up you like a rat up a drainpipe.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

Phwooooooar!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 2:05, archived)

I NO.
Even TFD agrees!
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

why would SHE lie,
of all people?
that's right, she would not!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

It must be true then.
Hurray!
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

and it seems to me, that you lived your life like a candle in the wind

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

they're usually hunted down for sport before things progress that far

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

I remeber telling the chef I wanted my steak (tenderloin) medium rare.
When it came it was actually medium. I fired him immediately.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

I know this is a parody and everything.
But even if it wasn't, it still doesn't sound like it was typed by as much of a cunt as Sammi.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

I don't use the word cunt often when referring to women.
But Sammi is a cunt.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

I'm offended, really.

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

Hahahahahaha

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

So Sammi was a twat, then didn't reply.
What else is new?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

I'm going to alton towers in a few hours.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

by a few I mean about 7

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

i didn't realise you were old enough to have kids.

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

No he's going to pick one out.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

Go and get ready, then.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

I need to sleep first.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

You'll be knackared tomorrow night,
tiring stuff.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

i went once for free
on the agreement that i would go on one of their new rides in the nuddy, for a photo shoot.
it was too rainy, on the day, for the photoshoot.
still got a free day at alton towers, on a rainy day too so no queues.
rock and roll.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

She wasn't a twat.
Her butler was, silly.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

I'd like to take this opportunity to say that you Irish are bloody brilliant.
Be sure to bring it up in the next meeting, to be sure.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

Yeah, lol or something.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

Cheers.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

Actually, I've just reconnected due to a fucked router

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

[something about your butler reconnecting it for you]

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

I bet you have your butler put one finger in the phone socket and the other in your computer.
FEED HIM AND HE WON'T GO WRONG.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

Yes, yes
Why on earth would I have a butler?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

you're meant to be the one answering the question,
not asking it.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

I think she's getting tucked into bed about now.
If we're lucky her receptionist might pen us a reply.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

i like where this is going.
keep it up.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

I can never keep it up when I think about Sammi

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

Pffft

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

i know a masochist who likes to wank over pictures of sammi,
so he doesn't.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

woah

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

did i just blow your mind?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

like, totally

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

Mine actually imploded.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

Also, how am I being a twat for asking a question and saying I lost something?

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

You blamed your cleaner in a pompous way.
You pompous pomp.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

Yes, because the sunglasses were on a towel in my bedroom
Which she'd moved to the closet and put another few on top.

If that's somehow fault of my own, I'd love to know how. Common sense tells you not to put glasses in a fucking closet!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

I think, and I'm not completely sure here, it's the fact that you keep mentioning you have a pool/cleaner/daddy's millions

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

MY DADDY'S DEAD YOU FUCKER
(and no, I didn't inherit a thing)
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

You didn't fucking lose them.
You found them in your 'towel basket' you stupid spastic.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

they were very expensive.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

Yes, hence the reason I nearly cried when I lost them
I'm hardly rich.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

you're hardly anything,
yet so much!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

...
Sure.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

i love you!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

Anybody who cries over sunglasses, expensive or not
Is a useless prick.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

They're prescription sunglasses
So it's not so easy to buy a new pair.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

you have an au pair now?
fuck.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

Yes it is

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

don't worry abou the plebs.. they're all cleaners
i think it was the fact it took you two hours to search your mansion thst riled them
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

~~mansion~~ semi-detached house
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

you just are a twat

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

You realise she just lost a pair of (very expensive) sunglasses don't you?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

Oh fuck, really?
Shit, sorry man!
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

I just nearly cried
I've spent the last two hours looking for my (very expensive) sunglasses, only to find them in the fucking towel basket in the closet. And people wonder why I don't like my cleaner.

When did you last lose something expensive?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

Do your own fucking cleaning.
And you moan about being broke.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:17, archived)

oh man,
am i looking forward to a good old fashioned sammi well thought out argument to this.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

Me too!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)

Me 'n all.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

I'll fight too!
Who we fighting?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

Fuck knows.
Cancer? Hippies?
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

Hippie cancer
It makes dolphin shaped tumors
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

i am glad that i am paying attention to your posts now!
you seem nice.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

Hurray!
I was worried you weren't. So do you. How's the cancer these days?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

malignant.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

Terrible progress.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

Don't worry, SSG.
We'll have that pancreas out, off to the dry cleaners and back to you before tea time.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

I don't pay for it

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

You're still a fucking idiot.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

Because I have a cleaner?
Yes, sure I am.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

actually, it's probably more to do with the fact that you
are incapable
of thinking
properly.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

Yes, yes I am
Spot on there.

Not that I am not bothered enough about the internet to be as articulate as I could be at 1am. Oh no.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

oh man.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

Yeah, you're massively articulate and intelligent.
I forgot.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

Online, I'm about as articulate as a peanut, I'll be the first to admit
And you can say shit considering the ONE time you've spoken to me in person, I was well underway to being intoxicated.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

ZING!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

It's nothing to do with in person, it's about the absolute bollocks you spout on here.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

She's actually very clever, in real life.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

No, just in general.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

Righto.

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

I've gotten my ax in the closet with a fetus faucet

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:17, archived)

an aluminum fetus faucet on the sidewalk freeway near the 7-11
call toll free!
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

7pm (8 central)

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)

what I'm saying is, it's a FUCKING CUPBOARD

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

gnarly.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

i don't own anything expensive.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:17, archived)

but your beard is priceless

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

you can't put a price on fashion.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

*cough*
anti-fashion
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

I lost a zippo lighter in the house earlier in the evening.
Still haven't found it yet.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

OR... my lunch
my marbles
my dignity
my sense of self
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

about 300 quids worth of singapore currency
hid it behind the mirror but was in such a rush to catch the next plane i forgot it
THAT cleaning lady definetly got a bonus
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

I know how you feel.
The other day my driver applied the brakes a little too sharply.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

my butler got cancer
so now i have to poach my own salmon in the morning :(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

i bet you gave it to him
you horrible man
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

Sean Bean's a cunt when he drives a bus.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

outrageous!
i hope you didn't spill your martini
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

this reminds me of the time when my butler had the temerity to put a lemon in my gin and tonic,
rather than a lime.
i was so upset i could not aim straight at daddy's annual pheasant hunt the next morning.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

i think i remember him
he was allergic to green i'm sure.. he suffered on our 'incredible hulk pillow fight night'
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

shit,
i remember now!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

I did actually, but when I got home I got one of the cotton pickers to run me out another one.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

Don't have a cleaner then, for fuck's sake.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)

well who's going to clean the pool then?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

i get my brother to do it
and claim it on expenses.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

I hope not the same person who dusts the TV!

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

The money saved on not having a cleaner could be spent on employing someone to hear for you.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

if i were her,
i'd hire a new face.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

Again, I don't pay for it

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

where can i get a free cleaner?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

Courtesy of your landlord

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

surely it comes in with the price somewhere?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

Well, she had the room advertised at £600 a month
And due to her being a friend of a friend, I got it for £400, all bills included.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

oh bloody hell.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

Then don't complain.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

when I was driving my clio
I pulled over to find that I had managed to 'lose' my expansion tank, hoses, radiator and head gasket all at the same time.
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

Clio? Catastrophic cooling and headgasket failure?
Never.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

Troll or Cunt?
I just can't decide. It's like Paris Hilton just posted, but with no air of fuckability.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

whoops i dropped a fag on some flammable shit
i might be out of my job making glass..

what was your last fuckup at work?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

Getting fired

(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

me too
felt fucking brilliant
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

I once witnessed a prime fuck-up
some twat left the walk-in fridge open all night, and the entire contents had to be discarded.
Made me smile, as I nicked a good few kilos of steak and bacon. Good times.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

the best thing about that story is you were working in an off-licence

(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:40, archived)

That one was a pub
the off-licence was later.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:41, archived)

don't spoil it

(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:41, archived)

But you see, it already was.
What with the door being open all night.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)

GRAPE Expectations

(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:45, archived)

CHERRY Poppins

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:47, archived)

LIME And Punishment

(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)

Fear and Loathing in Las PEANUT.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

Cherry Poppins
Great title for a porn film.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:54, archived)

Apparantly so
nsfw if you google it.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:56, archived)

The word "discard" always reminds me of the painting application on the old Acorn computers.
I have nothing else of value to add here.

As you were.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:41, archived)

It reminds me of doing magic tricks to chavs lol
lol which card do you want, lol, discard lol.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:46, archived)

lmfao

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

My best mate had an 'apricot' computer
Its logo was a pear.
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:08, archived)

I cost the company £20,000 by putting a 2 instead of a 6 in an email.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

that is rather splendid

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

I misplaced an 'e'
She died of an overdose.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

I wondering who this was.
All betts are off.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)

/modern Leah

(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:57, archived)

so it could have been £60,000?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

This is completely irrelevant.
But playing Master of Puppets on Guitar Hero: Metallica has to be one of the most awesome things I've ever experienced in a game.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:27, archived)

do they do a merzbow track?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)

You've lost me

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

*hands over string*
the end of the labyrinth is back that way..
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

Overcharged somebody.
Not by much, they were old so they didn't notice.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)

i shat into my hand,
put my hand under the grill,
let the shit
drip through my fingers,
then rubbed my fingers into a sandwich.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)

/modern lear

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)

i want to know
i need to know,, how is that modern lear?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

it's a limerick.
but not. because it is modern.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

you are way too
intellectual for me :(
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

yeah man i totally am!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:42, archived)

I've GOT to have that recipe

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

Nothing about that sounds bad.
Make me one.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)

I broke three glasses.
Oh well. I did manage to miss Piston_Broke.
(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)

You know even his own father heckled him?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

i hope to god this is true

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

from the man himself
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post446056
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

Is he a civil servant?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

Looks like it,
The only time I've met him our conversation went something like this

Me: Hi I'm psychomp who are you?
PB: *****STATIC******
Me: that's nice, um
PB: *****STATIC******
me: uh I've..
pb: *****STATIC******
me: oh look a girl
pb Exits stage left
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:39, archived)

To be fair he heckled everyone
apart from the person he didn't heckle
(

broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

I love the people at comedy clubs who heckle everyone,
they just make an evening don't they?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

Depends if they're wittier/quicker-thinking than the comedians.
If they're drunk, they're just shit.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)

they're always drunk and they're always shit,
heckling is only funny when it's unexpected and witty,
if you do it to everyone you're a cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:45, archived)

Unless they're all dying on their arse.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:49, archived)

For fuck sake.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

for fuck's sake

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:59, archived)

Yeah.
Not so fucking smart now are you, Mr Science?
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:01, archived)

killed a horse

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

I hate horses.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

This.
Don't know why, just hate them.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

even if they have cones on their head?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

Nothing will change my opinion.
Nothing.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

I hate all farm animals.
They can all fuck right off.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

but pig is ohhh sooo tasty

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

I'm not saying they aren't tasty.
But they all have such fucked up eyes.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:37, archived)

they're fucking weird
people go on about how graceful and how beautiful they are. they're not, they're freakish and alien
(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

And they kick you if you stand behind them.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:43, archived)

I can understand that, I do the same thing.
Bastards standing behind me, making me nervous. What have they got to hide? Why can't they stand where I can see them?
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:45, archived)

Yeah.
What sort of cunt animal does something like that? Apart from horses.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:46, archived)

Cows, goats, llamas, gazelle.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

Cunts, the lot of them.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:54, archived)

Cloven-hoofed fuckers.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:57, archived)

I screwed some of customers.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

I once accidentally spilt cyanide into someone's drink.
It didn't matter though because I also accidentally bashed them over the head with a typewriter before they drank it.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

If I told you, I'd have to kill you

(

broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

i told him

(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

I told David Cameron.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:45, archived)

A rota problem; HR giving us one, manager telling us to follow another
30 people on our department cost the company £500 each - £15,000.

We didn't give a fuck because it wasn't our fault, but the quality of sandwiches went down.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

I don't believe I've ever worked anywhere where HR gave me one

(

broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

Lucky you.
I hated that place.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

Should have had the cod then.

(

broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:37, archived)

BOOYA!

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

total carp.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:47, archived)

only small things
e.g. doing the wrong drinks, giving them too much head (hahaha) and having to top them up.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

My boss blamed me because someone left without paying for a tab.
We fucking take people's card details for this purpose and it's not my fault he lost them.
Plus i'm not gonna be threatened to be fired by a man who was on 2 weeks suspension for diluting vodka.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:37, archived)

Sounds like a bit of a prick.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:41, archived)

Just a bit
I've only been there about 6 weeks now, but a week or so ago I asked him if he minded if I went for a fag break, there were literally about 2 people at the bar, and another guy serving. He told me he 'doesn't do fag breaks, no other staff gets to sit around for 5 minutes doing nothing' then went and sat in the back and told me to bring him a pint.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:45, archived)

I had a customer storm in one day demanding to know why we'd charged his card x amount
And he was furious when we told him that he'd left without paying his tab, so had collected the money anyway under the slip he'd signed beforehand.

He was under the impression that if he walked out, then that tab was invalid. Stupid cunt.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:46, archived)

maybe you should do your job properly?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:47, archived)

There wasn't a single thing I did wrong for that.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

It was more a cumulative effort.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)

How am I to blame for someone walking about the pub without paying?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:51, archived)

is it not your job to get people in the pub to pay?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

If the pub is busy, and you don't notice them leave, then how're you to know?
Also, if you think the card details are there, which they normally are with tabs, then it doesn't matter.

And if they leave their card behind the bar, they normally pay for it anyway!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:54, archived)

Not when they set up tabs
it's up to them then to either come up to me and pay for it or have their card charged.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:54, archived)

i've had enough of your excuses.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:55, archived)

:(
yes sir.
sorry sir.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:55, archived)

you're demoted to glass collecting.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:56, archived)

*takes a turd in the glasses*

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:58, archived)

now we're on the same poolength (wavelength)

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

I've never understood how bar staff can do the wrong drinks
If you didn't hear them, then ask them to repeat it. If you don't know what it is, don't be too scared to ask!

I've never served the wrong food or drink behind a bar.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)

Well, I've had people ask for wine and soda and given them lime and soda.
Corona/peroni/krony all sound very similar as well.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:46, archived)

Any fucknugget asking for wine and soda
should be teetotal anyway.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)

You are an inspiration to us all.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:47, archived)

let me explain.
they mishear.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

p.s.
congratulations on being the best barmaid that has ever existed.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

ever.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

Well, I used to repeat the order, to make sure, too
Everybody in my place used to do that.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

man, your pub must have had the best barstaff that have ever existed!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:53, archived)

or will ever exist, for that matter.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:53, archived)

I messed up the time-sheet a little bit by stapling it onto someone's forehead.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)

I forgot to lock-up properly at the end of a shift and consequently pushed the managers face into a vat of hot chip fat.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

this happened in CSI

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

I was filling up my cup at the water cooler when the cup fell out of my hand and then my hand involuntarily flew around and slapped a coworker in her face.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

I loaded someone's extra leg room seats on under the wrong code.
But they were cunts anyway, so I wasn't really bothered.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

I forgot to milk one of the cows in the morning and it exploded in the field because I put a homemade pipe bomb inside its anus.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

so much better than those store-bought pipe bombs, though

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

Thanks.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:39, archived)

I used to always miss out house number 14 on Bardon View on my post round because I knew I'd brutally murdered the person that lived there.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

I forgot to close the gate and when I woke up in the morning all of the cattle had been mutilated because I accidentally mutilated them the night before.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:40, archived)

Throwing up on a customer

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

Elaborate.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

On second thoughts, fuck it.
I'm off to bed.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:07, archived)

To expand upon a point by providing further information.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:08, archived)

Starting work drunk is bad mmkayyy
as you will get the hangover just after lunch. The first time this happened I had to spend my lunch hour with my head in the toilet. The second time I tried to quiet my stomach with a fry up. That time I got a guy on my way to the toilet.
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:14, archived)

excellent
how/what happened?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:07, archived)

I was so hungover
I spent all day slumped over my till. Then I couldn't make it to the toilet on time. I got to go home an hour early though.
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:09, archived)

you're a character from 'Shameless'
ACMFP
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:13, archived)

I felt deeply ashamed.
But on reflection, I think that's what people come to expect from morrisons.
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:15, archived)

hahahaha

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 11 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

HOLY CRAP
The factory that I mentioned was on fire has just exploded with an almighty boom, we've found out that it was a glass factory that's been there years I've just checked their website.....
www.solaglass.com/

Thanks for all the glassy puns they were very windowsilly.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

oh man,
i'm writing this down.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

i bet that was a spectacle

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

*applauds*

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

CLARK SABLE

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

Oh lol, that blows, lol

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

I didn't hear it.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

I'm checking if BBC news have cracked the story yet

(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

What a pane.

(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

Golly
Explosion at a glass factory, whatever next?

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN VIDEOING THE ACTION!
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

that's so dull
my eyes are (double)glazing over.
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

I laughed so hard at that I stained(glassed) my panties.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

you're easily lead(ed).

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

I've just clicked that link.
Is this a joke?
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

No, I hope it the same link I am looking at
it's a glass factory that makes fire resistant glass thats on fire.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

Lets hope their new venture, Totally Bomb Proof Buildings is more succesful

(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

I imagine the entire factory isn't made of such glass.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

It's probably not explosion proof glass.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

[Glass pun]

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

i'm glad you shard that with us.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

SSG dropped an e.
lol, druggie, lol.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

i get it!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

did you lol?
lol
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

just about!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

lol it rhymed a bit too didn't it.
lol.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

they just had the owner on the news
he looked shattered
(

scott,, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

I might have known you'd turn up for the puns.
Y'alright?
(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)

yep

(

scott,, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

when they catch the guy who started it,
he'll probably get sent to prism.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

Horrible news.
No two (glass) vase about it.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)

This only works if you pronounce vase as vayce.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

And if you do, then you're a bit gay.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

Just for the record, I pronounce it vaaaze.
Although I rarely need to use the word at all. 'Cause I'm a bloody bloke.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

*Thumbs up*

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

why did you check their website?
were you expecting them to rush through an update saying lol we're on fire?
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

that's what usually happens.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

shut up.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

you shut up

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

i'm dying
:(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

take some fucking Rennies and stop complaining you girl

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

you are terribly insensitive.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)

or Remegel if you find Rennies are too chalky and dry
see, I'm helping!
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

I actually like the taste of those.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

you aren't taking into account my horrendous illness
:(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

Sharks don't get cancer.
Eat a shark.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

If you're ever having a heart attack.
Get to a spud u like quickly, nobody ever died of a heart attack in a spud u like
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

No, we were only told it was a glass factory on a particular street so I was checking the address with what i had been told as my sons best friend lives just behond it. She's texted me though and they are not there.
Plus I thought the place had closed down as well but it seems not.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

Ruiner.

(

Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

puns are shit

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

I thought it was about THYME for you to BUTLINS.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

haha

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

lololol

(

broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

why don't you write a script to SCREEN them out?

(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

is the surrounding area coated in glass shrapnel?

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

apparently it's covered in sashes

(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

Sounds a bit FISHY to me.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

CAT Stevens.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

CAT KING(FISHER) COLEY

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

I don't want to blow my own (glass)trumpet, guys but this is, like, well good.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

I totally PIKEd (liked) it.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

Tanks.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

I'm basically going to refresh the popular page until it ends up on there.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

They OAK to have reMAMBAd not to play with matches.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

I bet it's making the skylight up.

(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

That's a shame.
Bet some arsonist had a smashing time.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

Probably the work of a crazed maniac.
With a vitre-olic hatred of his boss.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

+ glass.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

KABLAMMO!
My office exploded a couple of days ago, don't worry though, I wasn't injured/killed.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

WHERE IS THE GLASS PUN YOU PUNNY IDIOT?

(

Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

Shove your puns RIGHT up your (gl)arse

(

broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

I'm glad to hear you're not in pane.

(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

I bet someone gets framed for the crime.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

More than likely
then they'll get sent to the glasshouse.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Shards a pity.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

By the way
do you need a dishwash bloke at your new place?
I really fucking hate my job at the moment.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

Unfortuneatly not. I'm trying to get as much hours as possible by posing as a jack-of-all-trades as it is.
I have to wait until the spring until I can get proper hours. However, the managers are impressed with me and are 100000% sound.
:-D

Sorry to hear you don't like it, but it's money for now, innit? Keep an eye out for something and just forget the shite they try to throw at you.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

Commission-based sales bullshit
the fuckers don't pay anything unless I whore my morals to the four winds.
I'm fucking sick of it, after only two weeks.
Glad to hear you're getting on well, though. Nice to have you back on here.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

I'll pay you £17.83 per day
to wash my dishes. That's 19% more than your current job.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

The sad thing is
that this is true.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

People in glace houses shouldn't throw cones.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

i just did a poo in your shoe.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

i hope it's not caused any damage to a nearby fen(etre)

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

Holy crikey.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

I'm actually shattered right now.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

window they think it'll be put out?

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

Hold on, I'll GLASSk (ask).

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

There can't be many more of antifreeze((these)cause you put it on windows ennit)

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

i'm sure this is verre distressing for you

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

now you're being SILLy

(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

lol i bet bill gates did it.
lol cause he helped found microsoft and they made windows lol
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

He's a (window)LEDGEnd.
These are getting a bit thin now :(
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

a bit silly, even.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

Someone'll start a mirror site in a minute

(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

How did I not see that one coming?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

Reflect upon your mistakes.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

I fear my carachter is stained after this.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:27, archived)

The cops should be able to solve the Riedel
of who did it.
They can be quite sharp.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

they have nothing to go on.
oh hang on. that was when the other factory exploded.
(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

Mind you, it's blown a big hole in the wall.

(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

someone will get framed for it, no doubt.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

I really can't see something like....oh lol

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

I mean I really can't see something like that happening
.....BECAUSE I NEED GLASSES
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

I saw ANNETTE (curtain) running away from the scene of the CRIMEAN WAR.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)

Hahaha

(

Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

No but seriously, I hope noone got hurt.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

just some minor glasserations

(

scott,, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

I hope a shard of glass got thrown out by the explosion and imbedded itself into someones neck and then they went "eourgh" and pulled it out quickly without thinking and a stream of blood started violently coming out of their throat and they staggered
around and brought their hand up to stem the flow but it was spilling out through their fingers because of the pressure and then someone asked them if they were ok and then started screaming.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

I don't get it.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

You (window) sill-y idiot.

(

Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

So this once, i was in a lift in the underground, with a friend,
and the only other person in the lift was this old woman, and she let rip and pretended like she did not.
Anyway, what's your favourite place to strain out a pocket of foul air?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Usually in the vicinity of someone to cupcake.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

Sorry SSG my psychic post watcher failed me

(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

On an escalator.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

I'm going to choose this thread.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

My favourite place to fart is into my cupped hand.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

i agree
i enjoy farting into your cupped hand too
(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

in bed
or the bath
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

The bath is good because the chances of gravity aiding a bit of poo poo on its way are lessened.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

London

(

scott,, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

On crowded trains.
Just as I am getting off and they're stuck with the foul malodourous fug for the 20 mins until the next station. Night.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

oh man.
i wish i was you!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

Really?
Blimey...
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

i know you're massively autistic, so let me explain.
No, not really.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

outside in the garden
fuck the ozone
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

The MIGHTY England!
Hello in-house whales. Internet favourite and your guiding light, JMG is here.
Who's all set to show off and have a pop at popular culture?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

I don't even know what popular culture is at the moment.
Is it still Blur vs Oasis?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

It's me. JMG.
I now own the rights to all of that.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

It's Boyzone Vs Take That I thought

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Drum v Bass,
i heard.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Since when could fish make music?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

big fish
little fish
cardboard box
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

haha!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

Breeeeeeam.
Bream bream breeeam
breeeeeam.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

Barry Whitebait

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

Lily Algae

(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

Eels

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Britney Spearfish

(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

Elvis Codstello

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

Fishtina Aguilera.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

Ooer, Christina piss

(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

a genuiine piss for once!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

I'd let her piss all over me.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

Jean Michelle Shark

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

Frank Finatra.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Nina Salmone

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Ella Fishgerald

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

Ray Charles

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

Christina Aguilamprey

(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

well would you look at that

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

She's clearly the fishiest of all the popstars

(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

Oh, the irony.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

Mamas v Papas
Currently 1 - 1.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

I thought it was The Beatles vs The Stones

(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

i thought it was the romans vs the celts

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

What was the score then?
I assume we won.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

6-0

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

goodo

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

mike woz ere must have posted about monkey's on tv.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

***APOSTROPHE ALERT***

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

Oh yer, dunno what was going on there.
I won't edit it so you can carry on feeling good.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

I'm not feeling good.
Please edit it. For me.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

I thought that was a Gaz thing.
Nobody should mind. It's all in Gaz land now.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

You should start putting stray apostrophe's into you're post's JMG.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

I'm quite partial to the odd stray apostroph'es

(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

That's only due to Apostrodite showing you her growler the other day.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

I gave 'er one
RIGHT up the ar'is
(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

Pffft.
:-D
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

Get rid of that apostrophe. You're worse than Hitler.

(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

your*

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

FUCKING APOSTROPHE CUNT!

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

APOSTROPHE BASTARD
You're on my SHIT LIST now, sunshine!
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Ask my housemate
The man will argue, at length, about anything. Including whether or not ROM chips can be flashed.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

fuck off cunt

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

What scathing wit.
I bow in the presence of a true master.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

WANKSTAIN

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

CUNTSMEAR
Am I doing this right? I'm not quite sure of the rules.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

careful now
Jesus is watching
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

Is he now?
How useful.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

is he bollocks, he doesn't exist you crapbag

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

:(

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Does he not? Oh bugger.
Well there's always The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

you can if it's an EEPROM
which they mostly are these days, I think.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

No they aren't.

(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Are you piston's housemate?
Is he a thrill to live with?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

what are they, then?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

They're whatever you say they're not.

(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

oh.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

No, not oh.
Aaaah.
(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

I have an idea
You two would get on quite well.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

are you telling me you can't flash ROM?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

Erm...
I'm not really that bothered if you can or not just so long as he never figures out I stop listening when he starts a sentence with "Well actually..."
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

you mean you want him to keep doing it?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

Does he bore you?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

Ironic, no?
He's a lovely lad but does tend to go on a bit.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

as ironic as a load of fucking spoons

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

Perhaps.
He is still a thoroughly solid chap though otherwise I would have carved out my eyes with a rusty steak knife months ago.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Now you know how we feel whenever you post anything.
Except it's worse for us.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

Or whether rational rules of causality apply to Ashes to Ashes.

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

stick it up your blurter you tedious wanksack

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Oh my what sparkling repartee!
Pray continue!
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ZZZZZZZzzzz SNORE

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

When you speak like that when you're out do people punch you in the face?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Out?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

Why would I talk to people like that in the street in the first place?

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

Because you don't have any friends to talk to?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

Something of an assumption there.
I wouldn't speak like that to friends. Or people in the street. They tend to be quite sensitive about what you say to them.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

whereas people on the internet aren't even real.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

Indeed.
Gilgamesh is nothing more than mere pixels on a screen.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:43, archived)

are you real?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

Don't you mean reel.
lol
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Oh, the fish puns are up there.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

I sometimes wonder myself.

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)

I was more pointing out the way you say it but well done on completely forgetting where this all started.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

Well thanks for pointing that out.
Believe me, I am not so daft as to take that tone with people whom I meet face to face.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

so you're only polite to people out of a desire to avoid retribution?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

Interesting point
But no. I am polite to people because normally that is how I am.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)

except when you can't see the other person.
there's some interesting psychology in this, you know. I read an article about it.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)

No just Gilgamesh.
On account of the fact he is a bogey in the nose of civilised society.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

That's a mirror mate
you live alone.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

You should make a sitcom, this sound's crazy.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

FUCK YOU, APOSTROPHE SHITBAG CUNT FUCKER

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

Your just jealou's

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

OH FU'CK O'FF AL'''R'EADY!'!

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

You dropped one of the'se
'
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

I'VE PUT YOU ON IGNORE, YOU SHIT.
AND THANK YOU FOR ANSWERING MY MONKEY QUESTION.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

I've given you a monkey related update gaz.
You can't read this but I hope we can remain friend's.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

JMG it looks like the chemical factory at the bottom of my road is on fire - a serious one at that
*Is a bit scared of the massive black plume of smoke over her house*
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Would you like me to drive over and evacuate you?
Oooer.
(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Ooo er missus
;)
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

How's my hometown looking?

(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

a bit bleak at the moment
nothings being done where broadway used to be it's still a pile of rubble.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

This makes me sad.
:(
(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

ohhh Marks been to look and apparently its solaglas on Ripley street next to Dixons CTC

(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

Ooh, blimey. Hope it's all OK.

(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

if you breathe in a lot of poison gas really quickly then your body will develop an immunity to it, maybe

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

the cricket is going smoothly.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

how many goals have they scored?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

they're up five ha'pennies two furlongs into the third frame

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

Zaheer Khan fell on the ninth hole though
That's a re-spot on the black
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

his best bet here's a charleston with a touch of pimento on the left hand cushion

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

Can I have a rock at culture.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Rock on, Tommy.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

my stupid computer manages one post
Then craps out, grrrrrrr
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

Just letting you all know there's a monkey on telly.
Gaz for more information.

Thanks.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

I'm going to bed.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

While there's a monkey on telly?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

Moonkey Girl Technologiesimian.
lol
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

that doesn't really affect me, you see.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

It affects EVERYONE.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

What sort of monkey?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

Is it wearing a hat?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

Is it a baby monkey or an adult monkey?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

Sorry I'm only answering monkey on tv related questions via Gaz.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

Do I have to send you multiple gazes for my varied questions
or can you answer all my questions in one gaz?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

The English football team?

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

Racist!

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Who me?
Wouldn't dream of it.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Enough of that shite,
I got struck by lightning earlier.

Have you ever been struck by lightning?

This is clearly a lie.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

i did no such thing

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

No.
I've been bitten by a duck, though. Do you think that's similar?
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

I've also been bitten by a duck
didn't expect to find one at three in the morning outside my bedroom door, I can tell you
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

I got bitten by a duck when I was two.
This makes it similar enough to count.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

I just dropped all my cig filters on the floor
bastards
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Springy did something similar earlier, but with a FUCKING MASSIVE BAG OF RICE.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

did she pick them up with her gnarled yellowed fingers
and then roll them into paper tubes of inhaleable cancerous death?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

They went up the hoover.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

I bet you do that pretend cough thing when someone lights up 100 yards away
like ooh *cough cough* oh noes i can totally smell horrible cigarette smoke *cough cough*
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

hey you - guess what?
.rigby thinks I'm a facet of you. That I don't really have tits or a fadge or live in aus but that I'm some man from the UK. Thought you should know.
love and fluffles.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

who the fuck is rigby?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

love and fluffles eh? going soft

(

mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

quite the opposite, I'm getting a semi

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

This cockend.
b3ta.com/~.rigby
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

yeah, I kind of realised after I posted
I have difficulty remembering the names of the background noise clique
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

Is rigby the one who had a big whinge at JMG and then flounced?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Actually, this doesn't really narrow it down.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

I give them a look of such cold withering hatred that the cigarette splutters and goes out from the chill

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

non-smokers live forever FACT

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

FAGS
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to toke-smokes

I feel it comin' together
People will see me and cry. Fags!
(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

you bastard, that's in my head now
I'll have to shift it with Captain Beaky
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

Captain Beaky waved his fags
followed by his trusty hags
That's Smoky Owl and Cancer Rat
and above the trees flew Ciggy Bat
(

broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

This is what happens when you smoke povvo cigarettes

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

real men smoke filterless gauloises

(

moohalaa, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

Give it until 25 seconds.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5xT96qRAaU
(

Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

Everytime you post it feels like i'm being struck by lightning.
You know, burny and painful. Like syphilis.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

That'll be the syphilis I gave you, online.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

I'd totally sleep with you, unprotected, online.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

By which I mean have anal intercourse with me.
/ac
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Online, yes.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

JINGLE BELLS, MOTHERFUCKER
/ac
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

You're the best b3tan ever, and are in no way shit OR mentally ill.
/ac
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

while your dad was having a wee on you
/ac
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

nah, had plenty of electric shocks tho
had a massive one once, 3phase buzz bar, ouch
(

mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

But did you gain superpowers?

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

AC is for puffs
try touching an high voltage DC supply
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

won't find one in my line of work, most dc is low voltage, we do have a 1000kva transformer on site but that is in a sub-station

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mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

That's busbar, you racist.
What voltage? I bet you had it rigged up to some 'bad blacks'
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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

STOP IMPREGNATING SHEFFIELD WOMEN.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

I'm sorry the..
Sorry, YOUR child resembles me. I don't even look like Winston Churchill.
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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

I said SHEFFIELD women.
There was a bairn in the GP's surgery that looked exactly like you.
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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

Ah, right. I'm sorry you had to witness that.
Did it have a geeky T shirt and everything?
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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

415v, went across blue and yellow, blew my tester and go a smashing belt

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mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

You bell end.
I bet it stung a bit.
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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

yeah it was very ouchy, it's ok now tho as we don't use so vibrante colours

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mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Say what you like against Catholicism
I've got a day off tomorrow for the Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

What the fuck is that one?
That's some made up Polish one.
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Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

Corpus Christi
yes, it's all made up. We should be celebrating the Solidarity Round Table Talks instead, but fuck that, the Catholics are in charge.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

This is the second time today I've been looking up religious stuff on Wikipedia.
I don't remember having to traipse down to church for this one, but Wikipedia says it is a holy day of obligation and Wikipedia never lies.

Get to church then you cunt.
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Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

Go fuck yourself
if I want to be patronised I'll watch the Teletubbies, who propagate a far more subscibeable belief system.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Canon 1247 is really quite clear:
On Sundays and other holy days of obligation, the faithful are obliged to participate in the Mass.
Moreover they are to abstain from those works and affairs which hinder the worship to be rendered to God, the joy proper to the Lord’s day, or the suitable relaxation of mind and body.

Do you want to go to hell?
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Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

Yes, off the coast of Brazil
got to go for a nice swim though, so it wasn't all bad
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broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

I once had a tiny arc from a 5,000 volt power supply ground on my finger.
The lads I was doing the experiment with were terrified of that supply, and the miniature radiation source. The wusses.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

The newsreader on Central Tonight sounds like Tom Baker.

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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

this I must see
where is Central Tonight?
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Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

There's a clue in the name.

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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

That's Shitty Steve for you.

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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

I feel like Central Tonight
Central Tonight
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

I once got struck by a visible inch-long static spark,
that seemed to have been emitted by nothing in particular. It left a small mark on my hand.
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

It was a nail gun and you're the second coming.

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Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

'Little Spacefish' juice, I'll be bound.

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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

I got called an idiot
ONLINE
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Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

OMG

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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

i've only just stopped crying

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Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

OSAMA... OBAMA...
OSAMA=OBAMA!!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

WHAT'S NEXT? WHAT'S NEXT? WHAT'S NEXT?
/Drinking with Bob
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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

His middle name is Hussain,
that makes him more Iraqi than Afghan.
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Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

Afghan???
He's a fucking dog?
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BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

I for one welcome our canine overlords.

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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

OMG OMG OMG
I'd best shoot the cat then
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BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

what the fresh hell is this shit, I'm trying to have a serious discussion here and you post this load of wank?
fuck off
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

SHOVE IT UP YOUR JAPS HOLE

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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

you know what right, people like you are ruining /talk
it's not as good as it used to be
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

Bring back the old days, where we could have a nice chat
without having people bullying and being generally horrid to pixel people :(
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Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

now that's what i call logic

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Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

obama? don't you mean THE ANTICHRIST?!

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Lightguy hail satan, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

Osama! Obama!
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut!
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

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