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Rarrrrrrrghgh I'm incapable of studying
Post the most recent wikipedia article you read?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crack_cocaine
(

EvS, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:24, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Brothers_(band)
so yeah right
(

scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:25, archived)

Are we allowed to lie for comedy effect?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Krankies
(

Druid, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:33, archived)

ok then, feel free to start the comedy when you're ready

(

scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

You massive shitter, how are you?

(

Druid, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

unpleasant and reeking of disappointment
the usual, really
(

scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:40, archived)

I just click random article until I find something I don't know

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:28, archived)

What are you studying?
I am currently trying to write my dissertation.

Urrrrrgh, need more awake!

Oh, and probably this en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ontology
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TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

copy-paste a few pages of 4chan and hand it in
they never read them anyway
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:38, archived)

GREAT PLANS
No one ever reads 4chan either.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:45, archived)

i can't even be arsed explaining this
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Dean_(referee)
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:41, archived)

here ya go
knock yourselves out

what's your favourite type of paper?

I like graph paper. All those little squares, very ordered and regular. Nice shade of green usually.

Not keen on newspaper though.
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:13, archived)

what do you want exactly?
currently i'm only offering pity.
(

scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:21, archived)

I DON'T KNOW
I've never known what I want, I've only ever been able to identify a long list of things I don't want
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:27, archived)

you have my sympathy

(

scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:28, archived)

I'll add that to the list then

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:30, archived)

Oh dear, an early exit for Richard and Judy
on Watch because 'they couldn't get this one to fly.'
(warhead not "Waheed", Sun 10 May 2009, 2:05, archived)

that's GREAT!
wow!

GREAT!
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

fuck sake
last night, two 15 year old wankers went on a bit of a bender, smashing car windows, ripping off mirrors on parked cars as they walked past, and actually set a car on fire. they were caught, and bundled into a police car at 2.30am.

at 4pm this afternoon both of them were walking down the street bragging about what they had done.

I'd like to beat the little bastards within an inch of their lives and then flog what's left of them to death with a dirty tea towel.

what would you do?

*angry telegraph reader rant mode off*
(

TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

Join them in their bender so they would accept me as a friend and not hurt me :(

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Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

This is worryingly one of the better ideas!

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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

set rabid dogs on them

(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

I feel that would be unfair on the dogs

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TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:31, archived)

Ones that shoot bees out their mouths.

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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

I'd let them know that they can accept Jesus into their lives if they want to get away from crime.
Then while they're considering that, I'd fucking club them over the head.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

with spanners?

(

TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

Nah, I'd raid the toolbox for something more exotic.
Probably a swivel head wrench.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

sounds good to me

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TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

blame it on the boogie

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

probably the Macarena
or maybe the Can-Can
depends on the mood
(

scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

the mood for dancin'

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

Have a look at this
nightjack.wordpress.com/

/angry Guardian reader who thinks Polly Toynbee's an idiot
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

when the first post on a blog is a reason why they haven't been updating their blog, I just close the tab

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

Fair point
but it's worth having a look.
Won the Orwell prize about a month ago.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

I just cleaned out the hamster cage, if that helps

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

I'd probably do less than that
but actually do it
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

I would start a local programme which teaches general good parenting like saying 'well done' when your child has done something good and not saying 'you fucking idiot, I wish I never had you' and beating them when they were bad
Then I'd work with local schools to celebrate all children's achievements in repect to their relative abilities in different areas, championing the importance of work placements as well as academic excellence.
Then I'd make sure they had lots of amenities close by so they had something better to do with themselves than just getting pissed and breaking things.

Yeah, that, or I'd just rip their heads off like they did to those wing mirrors and shit down their necks or something.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

Good evening, miss
long time no see, are you well?
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

I'm alright my dear, I trust this message finds you in fine fettle.
I am trying to write my dissertation which has to be in tomorrow morning. UGH.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:41, archived)

tell them the dog ate it
that always works, probably
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

That sounds like a right bastard
anything I can do to help?
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:46, archived)

i looking at selling my flat and moving somewhere else
what would you recommend about where you live?
(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:05, archived)

I'm the local pikey
I promise not to rob you, if you move to Yorkshire.
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:06, archived)

would you be able to tarmac my drive?

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

no

(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

Got any pegs?

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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

yes, but they're mine
now fuck off, trying to thieve my pegs.
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

why are you still up?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

I have no idea
I think it might be the cider.
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

I just finished reading the sword of shannara

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Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

How'd you like it?

(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

It was good.
It didn't draw me in as much as books by Feist but it was a top read.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:16, archived)

Terry Goodkind is better
He's been my best read so far.
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:17, archived)

ooooo, a fellow Feist fan?

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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

me too
only just found them
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

The revised edition of Magician is my favourite book of all time.
He's just brilliant.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

Quite a big one at that.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

geek

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jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

cunt

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Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:24, archived)

CUNT

(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:25, archived)

then i challenge your pikey credentials

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

shut up
I'll get your knee caps blown off
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

good access to cheese

(

scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:06, archived)

this can never be overvalued

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Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

He could live in a hollowed out cheese,
he could reduce construction costs by buying somewhere in switzerland
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

i would fashion furniture out of giant cream crackers

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Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:17, archived)

Hurrah fir cheese.

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Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:24, archived)

Beaches.
Shit loads of beaches.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:06, archived)

beaches for you
beaches for me
(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

I live in Bristol
despite the presence of Jacob Dyer, whose neck was apparently burnt by a Frenchman, it's a nice place to live.
The locals are friendly, and unlikely to stab you.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

Do you sound like Barnaby Bear too?

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

Not at all
I generally sound like a BBC newsreader, but can do pretty much any regional accent you care to suggest.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

Do some tihama arabic

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:17, archived)

Allahu ackbar
etc
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

can you type in glaswegian?

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

Ah kin gie it a go
fucked if ah kin git it tae Irvine Welsh standart though
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

It's good if you like history and shit
but I'd recommend brighton for drugs, sex and general liberty
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

i like history
unless you are referring to the michael jackson album of the same name.
(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:16, archived)

i'm not

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

Fields and peace and quiet.
Cows in the field next door. Half an hour from Cambridge where there are still a fair few jobs. You'd need a car though, the public transport is crap.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

i will have to rule this out
as i don't drive
(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

It's a bit flat too.
That is a drawback.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

unlikely to stumble into lava

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

could you narrow that down a bit?

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

as long as you don't fall in the lava, it's quite unlikely to happen

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

God I love cheese
I mean, seriously, everyone likes cheese. But I LOVE the stuff, I could eat cheese until I just explode everywhere like a big cheese explosion.

What's the biggest piece of cheese you've ever seen?

I saw a piece of cheese once that was MASSIVE, I mean seriously big.

alt: hello
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

I'm partial to cheese myself.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:20, archived)

*passes the Branston*

(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:42, archived)

JMG must have etc etc
my thread is better though
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

In all fairness yours is readable by Mykey.
So I can't argue with that.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

the trick is to try and think down to their level
food, bright colours, big things, the sort of posts you'd expect from a slightly backwards toddler, those generally prove popular

if only we could make the text here flash on and off, then everyone would be a lot happier
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:25, archived)

I think some people are here because they can't organise b4shes on 4chan.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:30, archived)

Well it's cheese based, so I'm rapt.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

I go out for Christmas dinner just for the cheese board.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

shutup about cheese

(

scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

Come on scott.
It's cheese.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:31, archived)

I like eggs too!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:35, archived)

EGGS!
I like eggs.
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:43, archived)

I love egs.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

i love love eggs

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

Funny you should say that!

(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:42, archived)

why?
is it Cheese Sunday again already?
(

scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:46, archived)

I bought Gouda with nettles in it recently
And gouda with cumin seeds
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

Pfft 'cumin'

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

Summer is a cumin in
lewdly sing cuccu
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

Yeah, cheese.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:25, archived)

oh, CHEER UP Mrs grumpy knickers!
I had some revolting Tesco Red Bull knockoff energy drink earlier, I think it's adversely affected my judgement
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:31, archived)

Well done on that.
I think you need to meet me, for a fully rounded experience.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:35, archived)

I'm not grumpy:(
Ugh, red bull and it's fakers are manky.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:35, archived)

Red leicester or cheddar
Biggest probably... not very big at all
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:26, archived)

this is low-quality cheese reporting
must try harder, C-
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:33, archived)

I make myself ill by eating too much cheese
those french things, I forget what they're called, where there's a whole wheel of cheese you melt then put on potatoes and meat. I can eat most of one single-handed
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:35, archived)

I know you're mocking cheese and I don't like it one bit.
not cheese, I love cheese. the mocking.
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:40, archived)

I've seen cheeses you people wouldn't believe
I used to live in France. There was Camembert that I saw off the shoulder of Orion, and it would have made you weep tears of joy.
I once received a cave-aged Cheddar for Christmas.
Philadelphia is the very work of the devil.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:41, archived)

I want to take this opportuntiy to thank the Lord for Dairylea and crisp sandwiches.
They are very special.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:42, archived)

I prefer pickle myself
but your cheese anecdotes are most cheering.

Well done. Long may your dairy products sustain you.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:45, archived)

this, this is the kind of cheese anecdote that b3ta needs more of
I award it seven edams out of a possible halloumi, well done there
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:46, archived)

Why thank you
you are most kind.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:56, archived)

Cheese is shit, I hate the stuff.
Bleurgh.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

I used to stack cheese
and there were 15 kg blocks of it.

That is quite a lot of cheese and is the biggest cheese I have seen in its natural habitat.
(

alienheat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

Hello there fat finders.
JMG's on.
Would anybody like to make it perfectly clear that you don't like me? On the internet.
Time is ticking.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

I doubt it, they'll go through the mods.
Now I've spoiled that, would you like to discus anything else.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

People complain about me to the mods?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

I've no idea.
I'm just guessing.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

It's happened in the past.
The mod told me. We had a good laugh about it.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

I'll bet you wrote it in your book of points to raise on b3ta.
'Someone fell out with me'
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:24, archived)

If such a book was knocking about, "Someone fell out with me" should just be a rubber stamp, to save time.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:35, archived)

I blame you for my possible food poisoning.
*B3tan in food related incident shocker!*
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

MAN UP MAN!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

I might hang a bag from my arse to save the toilet miles.
MANLY ENOUGH FOR YOU?!
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

Well done on that.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

You cant handle the truth
Ya fat norther wank-a-thon
(Frogb3at, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:20, archived)

Shut up nerd. P.P.I. is occuring.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

Payment Protection insurance?
Wanker!
(Frogb3at, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:25, archived)

I've just had it pointed out to me that dettol is brown
Although the dettol in my kitchen is clear

Tonight has been terribly exciting, JMG.
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:20, archived)

I'd think it was clear, too.
New events!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

Which one isn't dettol? *safesearch off*
images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&q=dettol&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:23, archived)

Blimey!
This confuses things tenfold.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:24, archived)

B3TA Blocked at JFK Airport
Sitting waiting for my flight back home from New York and got a spare 5 mins for some LOL's and b3ta.com is blocked!!!

Bastards!

still managed to get on via office VPN - hahaha septic fools
(

JamboM, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

It's cos we'll bomb it

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

Blah blah blah
/hides
(

Frogbeat, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

You'll be tired tomorrow :)

(

Randomgazz, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

I know :(
And i have to get upin time for F1 at noon!
Ok maybe befor that when the grumpy 1 year old wakes at 6 :(
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

If you can live without Eddie Jordan's opinions then leave it until 1.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

Hahaha

(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

Button's on pole, they've all got new bits for their cars and interviews with the drivers and mechanics reveal that they are
confident that their strategy will see them OK and are looking forward to the race. That's the pre-race show covered.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

Wait a sec
What about the best bit? The grid walk?
(

magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

Interviews with the drivers and mechanics reveal that they are
confident that their strategy will see them OK and are looking forward to the race.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

"Bernie, did you lose a bet to wear that jacket?"

(

magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

"This is the prime minister of Singapore."
I'm being unfair. I do like the grid walk.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

I usually watch all the build up
then watch the first 10 laps and go out.
(

magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

Much like Nakajima

(

magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:14, archived)

You forgot
David Coulthard rubbing his chin
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

With his knees.
He was wearing white trainers with black trousers today. The cunt.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

That could take days for him to cover his whole chin

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

SHUT UP.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

See what i mean about /talk
Hmmmm
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

Blah blah blah.
Talk is full of argumentative people.

Tell us something we don't know.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

Have we got a live one?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

It looks lioke.
I csan barely type and I could outwit them.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:14, archived)

Em...
Interviews with the drivers and mechanics reveal that they are
confident that their strategy will see them OK and are looking forward to the race
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

?
??
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

IS THIS AN F1 FORUM.
Well?
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

No, derrr
And I am well thanks :D
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

it's like a secret clique
;o)
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

Can I be part of the clique.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

same to you mister

(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

/ignore

tut you turned it off!
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

Well done for being shit.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

You ok?
'kin 'ell
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

I'm fine thanks.
Are you going to be less shit.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

Yes
It's the drink :(
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

fine!
/sulks
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

Sulks?
It is me that is sulking
Take that back :D
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

*hugs*
go away, you're too nice for here.
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

Hahaha
Back to /main and *t*fm then
Shite :(

I'll be fine. I'm in the mood for it in here
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

We're not all complete dickheads
some of us are actually nice.
(

jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

......
/thinks back at that smile and smiles
(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

You tell him Jenpots,

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

Ouch

(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

Christ, I was right.
Even drunk, I spot a spod.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

Hello

(

Frogbeat, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

i wonder if i can set off some red flags for you at airport security
BOMB, HIJACK, GUN, ALLAH
(

Lightguy hail satan, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

*dials 00 1 (718) 244-4444*
*warns about the possibility of a JamboM in the terminal*

*awaits hilarious consequences*
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

Phew! I'm glad you managed to get on here!

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>THERE IS A BOMB IN THIS LAPTOP<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

www.bygeorge.co.nz/images/countdown.swf
(

moohalaa, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

*shakes fist like Dick Dastardly*

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

Well notghng blew up.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

Not here anyway,
Jambom hasn't posted though
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

O NOES
Has someone on here been rude about the septics?
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 9 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

Hurrah, I'm glad your input got through.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

Me too. Hold me!

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

I'll one of us at the same time.
If the whisper bit works.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

Next time you have this sort of trouble
Just use the direct IP link
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

I must point out you were slower than mooey.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

Mooey keeps it in his bookmarks
and uses it to entice over swarthy looking eastern gents when he's laptopping in a fashionable london coffee bar, the little jiwhore.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

I am ridiculously jealous of you being in new york.
I'd love to have been there today.

Last time I was heading back to JFK I was getting the express but got pulled off at a station in order to be searched along with every other male on the train for some womans belonings. I was late as it was and therefore almost missed the plane which would have meant me missing my court appearence and being guilty of contempt of court. Wouldnt that have been shit.
(

Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Sat 9 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

Yeah, especially as you probably had the woman's belongings.
In your bottom.
(

magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

EXACTLY

(

Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Sun 10 May 2009, 0:35, archived)

I don't get the new stella Artois advert.
Why does the gent say "stella Artois four sil vous plait" and not "Stella artois quatre sil vous plait"
Honestly, advert these days...
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 9 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

haven't seen it
don't care.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:16, archived)

Seems a bit odd is all.
He's obviously supposed to be French so why doesn't he speak it?
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 9 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

cos the british public are too think to understand all the French

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

They must be able to recognize the number 4

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 9 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

Adverts annoy me more than they used to
especially all the gambling/bingo ones that are about.

I think I'm getting old and grumpy.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:17, archived)

the bingo ones give me the rage too
I tend to just mute the telly when adverts are on now.

/old and grumpy
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

Grumpy enough for bingo?

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 9 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

I don't know, but I know that I've eaten bad ham.
:(
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 9 May 2009, 23:17, archived)

I need a piss.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

I just went for one
it was lovely
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

Me too! *piss fives*

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

Hope you washed your hands.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

No, I washed jenpotses hands instead

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

You are a piss.

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 9 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

and the Virgin trains advert showing Preston
What a shit hole
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

I just watched a decent film. "A good year".
Mmm... Marion Cotillard...

Also, I just had a beardectomy. My first shave in months. I'm down to a goatee and look %529 less trampy.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

gay

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

Which bit?
The fancying Marion Cotillard or the shaving bit?
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:22, archived)

I dunno
I just felt the need to call you gay
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

Ah
:(
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

I need to shave. I look like a sexy tramp at the moment

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

I just look rough as fuck.
I'm bringing sexy back now though.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

i preferred it when it was called peetermans
it sounded less pikey
(

spacefish bong!, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:22, archived)

it's a different brew
Peetermans has coriander in it, and is wheat based
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

ooh! thank god for that
someone just said it was a re-branding, and i believed them

i thought it was tastier
(

spacefish bong!, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

i don't know much (but don't tell Moon Girl Technologies), but i know beer!

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:46, archived)

because you have too much time to analyse adverts...
how's tricks?
(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:22, archived)

I'm watching dave and drinking magners because it was reduced
The ads in buzzcocks annoy me.
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 9 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

Good! Magners is overpriced anyway.
I'm drinking Blackthorn at the moment because I fancy getting pissed cheaply.
If I want to drink proper cider, I'd be on the Westons or Thatchers
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

I am not drink today
last night was heavy
(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Sat 9 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

It's about time we had a standardised way of rating people on /talk.
I reckon there should be about thirty questions related to their hundred most recent posts and their performance to date carrying scores and shit like that and stuff.
What questions what scores etc...
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

That sounds like far too much work.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

This

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

Christ, what a lazy pair yous are.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

It's Saturday night and I'm on the internet
Go figure.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

BOOZE

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

Fuck off
Why do you want me drunken? :(
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

Because i want you to FAIL
*cackles*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

I can't believe nobody did this...
~~to FAIL~~
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

I considered it, but I couldn't stomach that mental image.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

It's a good job Aberdeen was built on granite...

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:41, archived)

It's saturday night.
I've had a bottle of wine and now a moscow mule.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

Yes, but I am not drinking
I have given up until at least 2 weeks time.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:58, archived)

I am drinking
and eating cashew nuts
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

Awesome
I had banana chips but I ate them all.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

I am also drinking and eating Neal's Yard Japanese rice cracker things.
Note: Product of China
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:06, archived)

pfft

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:11, archived)

Nah.
Cr3'd write script to do it and put your rating next to your name.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

Have you raised this with him?
I'd still like a list of who's ignoring you, like who you're ignoring.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

i'm kind of glad i don't have that
if i found out who was ignoring me, i know that next time i got crazy drunk i'd start gazzing them demanding an explanation in passive-aggressive tones
(

spacefish bong!, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

I wouldn't do that, though I guess there might be those that do.
Anyway, who would ignore you, you're ace, on the internet and in real life.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

aww cheers :)
still ignorance is bliss and all that, and i'm pretty ignorant
(

spacefish bong!, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

Really, if that's the case.
I'm very dumb.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:48, archived)

glad to hear it!

(

spacefish bong!, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:59, archived)

seems like Cr3 does a lot around here
does anyone ever say thank you to him?
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

Spangolin does

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

In a sexy way?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:58, archived)

I would expect so

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:00, archived)

She does it for all of us.
By proxy if you like. I think he prefers it that way.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

I didn't know they had a thing going on
how exciting!
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:02, archived)

Didn't you know?
b3ta's just one big dating agency.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:04, archived)

I knew that but I didn't know specifically about Spangles and Cr3
it makes me feel VERY happy. Two of my favourite internet peoples are making happy-happy.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:06, archived)

Everyone's at it these days.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:06, archived)

As Fluzzy said...
www.b3ta.com/talk/6134914
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:08, archived)

cr3 toyed with this for a while...
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/32417/1208862917/dev.jpg
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:10, archived)

I would imagine that could get complicated quickly!

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

now he's just toying with Spangolin instead

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

Tee hee! That cheeky cr3 scamp!!

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

I wouldn't feature on that.
I'm a b3ta nobody :(
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

stop fishing for compliments

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

oh!
I've never seen you being mean.

I like it.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

does it make you feel warm and fuzzy?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

I feel warm, but I've never felt Fluzzy

EDIT - oh sorry, you said fuzzy. Carry on...
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

I hugged Fluzzy
she's slim and sexy!
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

I've not met Fluzzy

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

You should

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:36, archived)

I want to.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:53, archived)

It does
*claps excitedly*
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

You spaz

how's that?
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

:oD

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

I gave him a bear like hug the oter week.
I was mister hugs last week.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:57, archived)

Where was mine then?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:58, archived)

Were you there?

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

No, but that's not the point

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

Well how a I supposed to be two places at once.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

By being awesome

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:15, archived)

Well I am awesome.
That's true.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

I have.

(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:57, archived)

oh right, FINE then, I won't do it
you cretin

GOD I hate you
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

no wait, I just might do it
I reckon it should be a double blind test, you get shown a series of randomly-chosen posts from the last month and rate it for sexiness, interestingness and not-about-foodness then the database pixies tell us how shit everyone is

that'd work, I could do that DEAD EASY
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

If you did, I would thank you

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:10, archived)

if I did, it would be several days' work and people would get bored of it very quickly

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:11, archived)

Aw, please?
*bats eyelids*
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

I'll think about it
I'm currently developing New Webshite which will be shitter than the last one by FAR
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

YAY.
Has KineticNorth gone tits up for good, yeah?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

I'm currently in intense negotiations for its safe return
although I may use another domain name, the last one attracted a bit too much attention
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:28, archived)

She might thank you properly next time she's over...

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

He's a bit too crazy for me

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:15, archived)

but I'm hung like an aubergine and I fuck like an arab stallion

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

You scare me

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

I bet you like a bit of crazy really
I bet you put the washing machine on fast spin and pretend you're the filling in a Gilgy/balders sandwich
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

Neither of you have proper manly facial hair

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

You balance on top of the washing machine, straddling a Vileda Supermop between your legs
rubbing its bristles into your face and orgasming off the stench of bleach and old dust.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

I like this idea.
Who would be the judges and when ar eyou going to visit me.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

-10 points for football based autism

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

+10 points for online autistic spectrum diagnosis
-5 because you're not talking about yourself
(

spacefish bong!, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

Me, Woodside and Ding.
Dunno.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

Sounds good to me.
You never answered the second.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

Mentions of food, mentions of sex, mentions of b4shes, use of capital letters and correct punctuation, use of memes.
That sort of thing.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

I prefer to just keep a list in my head.

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

How many of your posts have started with "I"
the higher the number, the shitter you are.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

I agree, ironically

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

YAY! I like this idea
but I would get a shit score.

People should be rated on content of topic; thought-provoking nature of question; hilarity of reply and sexiness of personage

1 being shite 10 being top
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

I think I would also come quite low

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

Why stop at 10

(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

Each aspect would be scored 1-10
then the scores totalled and made into a nice graph
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:57, archived)

Awww fuck its like a glimpse of heaven.
It'll never catch on. Pondlife 'n that, innit.
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

Get back to us on that.
"I'm sorry but we cannot comment on any of the b3ta /talk users as there is now an ongoing inquiry and until such time as that has completed it's investigations blah blah blah blah..."
/prim3 minist3r blog
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

There could be a few automatic queries run based on activity online
e.g. response to "what are you having for lunch?" threads, have they ever started a new thread with one word in it, flogging a dead meme, needless offensiveness, incorrect use of apostrophe. That sort of stuff.
(

magnum, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:57, archived)

There's no such thing as needless offensiveness

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

Ok apart from needless offensiveness
what's /talk ever done for us?
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:04, archived)

Apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order?
Oh, wait...that was www.b3ta.com/romans
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:09, archived)

FUCK OFF CUNT

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:07, archived)

I want to go to IKEA with you and plan our deam living room together

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:09, archived)

Those are words I can only dream of a man saying to me.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

Haha
I'd go with you.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

Aww, you two missed the Ikea conversation last weekend!
I'd take both of you up the Ikea...
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:15, archived)

Pffft
What Ikea conversation?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:16, archived)

Me and SexyFace were extolling the virtues of Ikea
But apparently, it is cool to hate Ikea.
Just like it is hilarious for standup comedians to bang on about how difficult it is to put Ikea stuff together. All they are actually saying is, "I'M A BIG STUPID CUNT THAT CAN'T FOLLOW SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS IN PICTURE FORM WITHOUT EVEN ANY FUCKING WORDS BECAUSE I AM A BIG STUPID CUNT" The stupid cunts.
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

Haha
I LOVE Ikea. I love putting shit together. I put together our wardrobe, bed and bedside tables myself. And my desk. There was a little bit of swearing.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

Being reet girly, as I am, I already have my dream living room planned out.
I just need to find a man to let me put it in his house.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:16, archived)

HUr hur
I couldn't really give a fuck, as long as it's not the hideous shite our landlady vastly overpaid for. Wallpaper in general can fuck off.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

I have simple wallpaper tastes. Simple plain blown vinyl pattern to hide the blemishes in the plaster
Then wallop it with matt emulsion (NEVER USE SILK HERE KIDS) all over. Two coats, minimum. TWO!
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

This shite is black with massive white and silver flowers. And the rest of the walls are brown. And she put up green curtains to 'match'.
This is mostly my hair, but LOOK AT THE FUCKING WALLPAPER.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

Good Lord!
That was the kind of stuff I used to 'back' my schoolbooks back in the day.
What is now Mini T's bedroom was similar to that when we moved in here. It lasted 3 days before me and K ripped it off and chucked the bits on the bonfire in the back garden!
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

Haha, I forgot about doing that.
There used to be some beauties in the second hand shop in school. You could tell who was posh by their book coverings.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

My cousin had wallpaper like that
I asked her if she was going to take the horrible shit down and she said she'd just put it up herself.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

Haha Oops.
I nearly said that to her landlady when we first moved in.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

I try and make a sardonic quip
and look at the banal drivel it inspires. You lot should be ashamed.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

You could put it in my loft

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

I was at a breaker's yard last week, watching cars getting crushed
I think it would be more fun if they filled the cars with kittens first

or babies, that'd work too
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:17, archived)

You forgot the Jews

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

they're already filled with loan shark victims
you just need to see their faces.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

No one here likes me anyway

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:18, archived)

Maybe that's because you are a giant meanie

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:18, archived)

No I'm not.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

I like you
cunt
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

Only because you pity me and you're glad someone shitter than you exists.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

if you're not going to call me a cunt
well, I just won't play anymore.

cunt.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

Look I
can't call you a cunt anymore, well,
unless I can think of a good reason I'm
not.
Toodles then.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

snob

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

I was trying to be subtle :(,
cunt
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

I've just clicked "Add friend" on you.
Happy now?
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

Popular page ratings, maybe.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

Gleaned from BBC R4 comedy....
So.. I'm on a plane and this woman says, i dont know how this thing doesnt just fall to the ground, and I slowly realised she really doesn't actually know anything about different air speeds applying upward pressure etc, so I wonder... does she think they just try random shapes and see what flies? PREPARE THE CUBE-PLANE FOR ITS TEST FLIGHT... or does she think it's God... He lifteth up the Planes and Carry'th them Forth, and when they need to land does the pilot just believe... a little less?

Do you believe in anything and have absolutely no idea how it works?

One for the laydees here...
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

I heard that the other day and it made me giggle
However, why is that a question for the ladies?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:35, archived)

Hey I'm just ad-libbing
:)
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:36, archived)

Well, don't

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:37, archived)

*offers cake*

(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

*steals*
*runs away giggling*
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

*sniggers*
cheesecake
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:43, archived)

Cheesecake is ftw

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:50, archived)

Also, I don't really understand electricity and how we get it
But that's probably because I know nothing about physics,and have never tried to find out.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:43, archived)

I think what this world needs is more people admitting when they dont understand something
And not being shamed for it
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

And more hookers with guns.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

I tried physics
but electricity is still GODSWILL
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

I believe in Sammi
And i dont know that she works
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:35, archived)

She doesn't.
She's dole/
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

Bit of a twat, aren't you?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:36, archived)

looks around..
who?
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:37, archived)

Steady
No need for that
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:37, archived)

I'm oppressed
*wails*
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:42, archived)

PC, car, offside rule
actually I understand the offside rule. Maybe I'm not a real girl?!
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:37, archived)

There's a quick test for this.
Do you have a minge?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

*checks*
yes.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

And do you behave irrationally in most every day situations when a cool head and balanced mind are called for?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:40, archived)

no
I don't do that.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:41, archived)

Then you are not a woman:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:45, archived)

I don't understand hammers

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

I understand almost nothing and I'm very happy this way.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 21:41, archived)

You'd be fucked
if you didn't use things you didn't know how they worked.

I'm pretty sure you don't know how each of your organs work, for example.
(

CowJam, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:43, archived)

lol organ

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

I press the keys and music pours out.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:47, archived)

I don't understand the interwebs

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

No-one does

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:45, archived)

I'm sure nectar will solve the oil crisis.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

Im completely clueless about network technologies
but I try to understand as much as possible about anything, because the only stupidity is enforced, deliberate ignorance. There's simply no excuse for that.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

I think people on here know network technologies.
I know a bit, is there anything you'd like to know.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

I understand theres wires and cables and routers and switches and servers
but I don't really understand how software connects with hardware.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

Bumble Bees.
Fat stingy bastards with tiny wings? They shouldn't work at all
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

Dragonflies get me
Fucking alien hover drones of doom. I mean have you seen 'em? ZIIIIING! BZZZZT! EAT!
Bastards.
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:00, archived)

I LOVE YOU ALL!
When are you coming to visit me?
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:03, archived)

When you come and visit me
I was waiting :(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:04, archived)

then why didn't you come to my bash?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

Erm...
Dunno, Miss. Was it too far away? I went to Coventry instead.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:10, archived)

See, there you go again
making excuses.

It was in Wokingham, but only Flapjack came. I only knew BlueStars birthday was on after I'd arranged things around my bash, otherwise I'd have changed the date or something.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:13, archived)

ALL
YOUR
FAULT
And where the cocking fuck is Wokingham?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:14, archived)

Oh right
Dirty south
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

iirc BlueStar had to move hers after you'd put yours up

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

Eh? Did she really?
Aw, bless her, she needn't have bothered.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

I mean I think the was meant to be today but then she had real life stuff
my memory might be off though.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

Ah fair enough
I'm glad I could see you though :)
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

I was in Cov too
I HAD to help Bluestar get drunk for her birthday.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:11, archived)

I needed her to show me how to get to my hotel
I was a little confused
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:13, archived)

it's cos you're old, dear.

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:14, archived)

And twatted, darling.
It was a very early start and I did last until 11.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

you did very well
I was quite impressed.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:17, archived)

VALIDATION!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:20, archived)

And what did she show you in return?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

That doesnt make complete sense

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

Lets just go with it

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

She didn't show me her tits if that's any help?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

Straight to growler?
Nice.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:17, archived)

I'm far too classy for this level of smut

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

Rubbish, you'd beat yourself off till you bled if i dressed Gonzo up as a milk maid and got him to sing The Internationale

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

He's very wee, you know.
I like him very much in a circus kind of way.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

Gonzo is to this board what Golum was to LOTR
A creature with an obsession for other peoples rings.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

He's lovely

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

you terrible bastard
and I laughed at that.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

I meant it with man love

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:27, archived)

bummer

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

Only on a Sunday when she's pissed

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:30, archived)

I heard that jenpots will show you her brown eye for under a tenner.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:33, archived)

shush
that was your special rate!
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:35, archived)

PFFT
YOu paid!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:47, archived)

She had
fabulous tits that night.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

she did!

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:20, archived)

Just that night?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

no
she has lovely norks normally, just last week they were fabulous.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

That's why I let her sit on my knee.
A futile attempt at copping a feel doomed to failure due to my fliddy arms.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

Like an elderly, sexual disfunctional T-Rex

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

A torporaptor, if you will

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

enjoying your wine?

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

I havent had any yet:(
I might go and find the guinnes though and maybe watch Crank 2 when bunny is done murdering hookers on GTA
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

I miss Bunny
She should post on here again.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

Not likely
Not with the hassle she got previously
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

I never knew that
silly cock ends, Bunny is lovely.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

Well, thats Shambolic and the ginger tramp for you

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

well nuts to them
How is Bunny? I hope she is well and as happy as she can be, whilst with you :oP
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:27, archived)

Oh yes, very happy
And all the more so for not hanging out on here i suspect
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:31, archived)

And for plotting her escape with me

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:32, archived)

She just said to me 'you know its true'

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

*wins*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

When you can afford my plane ticket,
xxx
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:04, archived)

If I had money I would very much go see you and Halkyardo.
I was gutted I didn't get to NZ when I was in Oz.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:04, archived)

when I hit puberty.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

who are you?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

your mother

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:09, archived)

like fuck you are
even if you were my mum, you wouldn't bother talking to me.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:11, archived)

are you posting on the plane?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

nope,
I am here for tonight and Sunday, but then I am flying on Monday morning
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:07, archived)

When you send cash and offer to suck my balls until they go blue.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:06, archived)

you're a classy gent.

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:07, archived)

I'd even shave my balls.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

Gay!

(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

You're so attractive...

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

Maffers texts me to tell me this all the time
He keeps sending me photos of his knob too
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:09, archived)

you know what
I'm not even a little surprised about this statement.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:10, archived)

What might surprise you is that its nearly 10" long

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:11, archived)

ZOMG!

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

I could set you up for a 'Maffing'
If you'd like?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

I snorted cider out of my nose then!

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

I can also offering you a 'pickling'
As you can tell, i am more than willing to pimp out my chums.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:17, archived)

you're a terrible man

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

Its a disease.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:20, archived)

I'm not sure if I'm more offended by the pimping out, or the use of the word "chum"

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:20, archived)

:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

Why are you sad?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

>:(

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:13, archived)

You don't mention the ones you send back....
You're both terrible slags.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:12, archived)

When I go to NZ
Which may be in my next lifetime by the time I can afford it.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:06, archived)

When my uncle & his family move to NZ

(

CowJam, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:14, archived)

Is it unlikely?
Are they all dead?
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

Now!
That's my nails scraping down your kitchen window, offline.
edit/i miss ole saladfingers
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:17, archived)

Sorry I had a cold.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

Bless you!
Auf Weiderseeeyn
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:20, archived)

BIG FELLA!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

Dunno
I've never had a passport.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

In New Zealand
passport has you!
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

bit of a replyrush here..
*breathes*
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

So... an hour and a half since that thread started
Are you all out having lives, or just hiding?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:59, archived)

*peeks out*

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

I see you!

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:02, archived)

amazing, I'm usually BGN :)

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

Being tired and half watching House.
Contemplating toast.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

Hmm toast is good
I really want toast and peanut butter, however I have neither. Grr.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

Aww....want some now.
But I already had some for breakfast...

Is brinner a crime?
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

I have two types of mountain dew, some yank made gatorade and some hawaiin punch
Hurrah for that shop
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:38, archived)

Baskin Robbins?
You went and you didn't bring me anything? You are a bitch.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:39, archived)

Ha!
did you ask?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:40, archived)

You should have just known I wanted things
:(
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:41, archived)

BOOZE
You want BOOZE

I shall have some gin and maybe guinness shortly
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:42, archived)

You're rubbish at not drinking
I, on the other hand, am awesome.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:43, archived)

~~am awesome~~ cannot resist the sweet sweet chilled wine residing in the fridge. Mmmm, wine. Lovely lovely wine.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

she's asking now
now be a proper bitch and get what she wants.

;o)
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:41, archived)

Im not having you both gang up on me!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:42, archived)

He won't do it now
But I'm basically on his way home from there :(
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:43, archived)

Thats a scandalous LIE

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:43, archived)

Not if you go home the way which takes you past my house...

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

I tell you what
You buy me a bottle of whisky and i will go get you a few cans from there.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

Do I have to get it now?
Because that involves leaving the house and that kind of defeats the purpose.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

FAIL
Now go drink BOOZE
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:49, archived)

*huffs*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:51, archived)

Anyone would think you were trying to get her drunk.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:52, archived)

Im also sending around Sexface as we speak
Im going to sell the videos for literally tens of pounds and retire to the country.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:53, archived)

Lol @ "tens of pounds".

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:53, archived)

THAT'S A PROPER RIP-OFF!

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:54, archived)

It's because he wants me

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:55, archived)

he's RUBBISH
I suggest sacking him.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

He'd love her to "sack" him

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:54, archived)

Trying to get my p1i working.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:01, archived)

*pretends to know what that is*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

it's l33t speak for "pony"

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

Im trying to work out how to travel 1400km in a day
to buy the car I've been looking for for 9months.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:05, archived)

Fly there.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

I was looking at this
but the gay bit is the connection between the biggest town (Szczecin) and the seller (Swinoujscie, on the German border.) A fucking fleapit hellhole shipyard town with one daily train.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

Which direction?
I'm betting it's easier in the direction of German Autobahns than it is in the direction of Ukrainian farmland.

Which is easier still than straight up.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

It's about 650k each way
which, from Warsaw, just, fucking JUST gets you to the German border. Which means it's all shit roads.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

By driving really, really fast

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

Train?
Plane?
Helicopter?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

MAGIC CARPET?!

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

Exactly, he's just not thinking enough

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

impossible, the Earth isn't that big

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

I've been sent home from work for having a shitty headache

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

Are there headaches which aren't shitty?
And on the plus side, painkillers and a night off work is always good.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

My eyesight was going a bit wibbly
And all the painkillers I've had today haven't touched it so I'll just have to hope to sleep it off. As you say, better than being at work until half twelve.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:11, archived)

*hugs*
That sounds a bit poop. Hope you feel better soon!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

Aye well, four months of this cack and I'm worn out
I'll cry at the docs on Monday morning AGAIN!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

you need your head drilling
to release the demons.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

You might be right
I have a masonry bit that might do the job.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

I'll help!

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

Whap him with your norks.
His head will crack open like tesco value egg.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

you do know your head is very very wrong?

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

Yes.
If you want to, you can use my head for practice.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:23, archived)

I think he needs to get laid more

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

~~more~~
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

I've done it at least once.
I have proof.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:45, archived)

Put it away
Noone wants to see your torn, distended anus.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

well you don't
she's not forced to be yours. I have real proof that I've done it at least twice.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

They look fuck all like him though

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:49, archived)

my sproglets?
That's cos they're pretty and look like me :oP
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:51, archived)

Yeah...anyway
Nice weather, eh?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:54, archived)

And ive got the photos

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:50, archived)

:(

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:51, archived)

You said she was the milkman's earlier...

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

You say that

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:49, archived)

I clicked "I like this" by accident

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

it's cos you love me.

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

I've gone off you now

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

YEAH
WHO NEEDS YER?!

:oP
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

WOT EVAH!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:36, archived)

I'm sorry to hear that
I assume you've also grown a pair of breasts and developed an interest in flower arranging, you woman
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

I don't make the rules, Frank.
Safety first and all that.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

Aww.
Get the missus to dust off her nurses outfit.
TEA STAT!
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

She's out on the trains herself.
This time of year they stick a couple of bands on and a shitload of ale and they go up into the dales, get pissed, make the train late, then come home for a fight. It's a good do.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

Tell her to get home and do her womanly duties.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:23, archived)

Too late
They're long gone. Mind you, I do have all the numbers of the signal boxes up that way. Perhaps I could phone a report of sheep on the line, that should slow them up a while.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

been eating
and having a nose at off topic QOTW
(

CowJam, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

Is it any good over there?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

It's different.
Very slow.
(

CowJam, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

I've had birthday shoppings and tea today
and am now internetting
(

its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

Is it your birthday?
Or a friends?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:48, archived)

I've been constructing a song
It's about half complete and much shitter than anything baldmonkey's ever done.
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

New levels of subshittery

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:50, archived)

neither

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 20:52, archived)

have you done yet?

(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 20:55, archived)

yeah finished mid afternoon.
My supervisor is reading through it now and I've got some aesthetic work to do it it, but the words themselves are written.

I spent 46 hours making the report itself.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 21:00, archived)

What's it about?

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:01, archived)

It's all about stuff about 0.0000000001m big.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 21:04, archived)

I did my dissertation about my penis too.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

excellent! Well done.
You're a proper cunt.
(

jenpots, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:03, archived)

Do I get to touch your mimsy yet?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

sleeping off lunch
i'm everything jmg stands against :(
(

spacefish bong!, Sat 9 May 2009, 21:01, archived)

meanwhile, in north London
isn't it so much better when porn actors look straight at you?
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

Haha ace

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

Needs more Kersal Missive lying in the corner flicking her jewbean
But otherwise, 8.6/10
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

I think she hates us now
she seems to have stopped posting her plastic scouser yiddish propaganda months ago
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:45, archived)

Pfft
Then we can take a collective sigh of relief.

One down, one to go.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:47, archived)

Who's the one to go?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=19676
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:54, archived)

I fucking hate her
maybe I'll gaz her to tell her.
(PsychoChomp, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:37, archived)

I exclusively watch pornography where the male has the same first name as me,
so I get to hear the actress screaming my name.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

Master?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

that would work.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

When those two move in together
I'll give 50 quid to the person who can sever their phone and cable lines.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

I'll put up another fifty each for the carotid arteries

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

done and done :D

(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

£150 for two killings and a cut wire? Man, this credit crunch is tough !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

its less than a days work..
cant argue for that kind of money :D
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:29, archived)

Needs more spelling mistakes

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:43, archived)

What a productive and interesting day you must have had !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:48, archived)

Do you not like it?
Are you sad because it doesn't happen? Is Sexface being mean to you?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

He's sad
because he's the socket, not the plug.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

It's great stuff !
I just wish I had the rock'n'roll lifestyle of such an amazing flash animationist.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:53, archived)

Grumpy?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:55, archived)

Yup, I'm wobbling too.
This has been the worst day of my life, evah ! =(((
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:58, archived)

Now I don't know if you are joking
And my house smells funny because I just dropped a lit match on the carpet and it singed a little... oops *retards and sadfaces*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

Heh, I'm only joking, I've had a whicked day.
I went long walks around london, photographed a protest, went to a couple of art gallerys and got home just in time for a bite to eat before I go to work.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

Phew! :)
I was worried for a bit.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

wait til my new website's ready, this is getting worked up into a regular webcomic

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:52, archived)

OH BOY !
Can I start paypal'ing you a subscription now?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:54, archived)

no, but you can give me your IP address and I'll block you in advance if you like

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:56, archived)

127.0.... no, to predicatable, I'm not going to fool for that !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

yeah, you'd look a RIGHT fall

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

lol fool/fall, I think you might have cault the old dyslexia.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

unless you wrote fail, in which case, probably not.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:13, archived)


|                                                  |
^the point                                         ^you

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

Can't be subtal with the stupid, Gilgy.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

That is so fucking HOT

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

hello cheesey tits
I'm trying to train the uglies not to post their photos on the internet

Success so far: 0%
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:54, archived)

I'm amazed
that internet has enough pixels to accurately represent their fat, downsy faces.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

Wate?
Good grief.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6137083
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6137111
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

You're my first, my last and my everything.
Really.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

are you admonishing me or coming on to me?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:19, archived)

I'm hoping to star in your next film.
With you. I hope that we get to take our trousers off when we have sex.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 19:22, archived)

It could be one of those arthouse films where they film the whole thing in one room.
It would be very realistic.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:27, archived)

Do you think Alesha Dixon would marry me?
Also: I clicked I like this when I didn't mean to, it's about time the were moved further apart.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:24, archived)

It's on the popular page thanks to you.
And Esme and me. Marvelous.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 19:28, archived)

It's right next to reply!

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:29, archived)

Would you not just want to punch her all the time?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:28, archived)

No.
I'd be to busy kneeling at her feet. As she is a goddess.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:30, archived)

+ if she keeps her mouth shut

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

Be quiet.
What do you know about women eh?! Humph.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:33, archived)

No bacon butty for you...
:P
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:34, archived)

She is woman incarnate.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:36, archived)

Really irritating?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:36, archived)

And the rest.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:38, archived)

Ok
Well, all you can do is ask her.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:56, archived)

I think she'd probably laugh in your mutated face
you'd have more chance with Dixon of Dock Green to be honest
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:41, archived)

:(

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:43, archived)

I do like this.
*frots*
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:25, archived)

I'm done.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 9 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

I'm back from the wedding
and getting ready to fly back to New Zealand. Any last words of farewell from you lot?
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:54, archived)

yeah

(__, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:54, archived)

yeah?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:56, archived)

no

(__, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

near the top
twitter.com/tweetopen

Quite interesting. Password is 'password'.
(__, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

I can't see that ending well

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

Oh dear

(__, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

Fucking hell

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 17:55, archived)

everything you would like to be?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

You can flyer higher, than an eagle.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

*parp*

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

YES! SOMEBODY REPLIED TO ME!

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

Do people not normally reply to you?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

I have a crippling need for attention.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

Did you see what I did there?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

Take me with you.
I'm a citizen, it's okay.
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 9 May 2009, 17:55, archived)

You're very welcome if you weigh under 1 kg

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

Bye
Sorry I missed you, maybe we can do better next time.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 9 May 2009, 17:55, archived)

Yes, bad planning on my part I think
there were a few people round your way I'd have like to have seen. Next time I'll come for longer!
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

can I come with you please?
who are you flying with?
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:56, archived)

you can come with me if you'd like.
Bring your own lube.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 17:56, archived)

Yes if you weigh less than a small duck
and it's Royal Brunei - sexy air hostesses!
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

Royal Brunei!!!!!!
lucky sod. I didn't even know they flew to NZ
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

They were the cheapest!
Via Dubei and Brunei with a 10 hr stop in Bandar Seri Begawan (I have a hotel booked)
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:01, archived)

wow! that's one hulluva trip
I thought emirates were the cheapest. They are definately the shittest
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

Depends on the time you book I suppose
I wanted a stop-over too, so their timings fitted in with that too
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

Yes
I'll be down to get in your suitcase tomorrow.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:56, archived)

I'll make some space in amongst the dirty pants

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

Awesome

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

It was lovely to meet you
and I hope you can get your leg over quickly when you get back.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

Likewise, you and your family are lovely :)
I am planning to take MrSpong out for the night when I get back!
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

Isn't the idea to
stay in for the night? ;)
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

Not with his Mum, Dad, brother and sister in the house along with our 2 kids
I'd rather shag in the car
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

Yeah.
Why didn't you visit me, you hateful swine?
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

I am so sorry, I prostrate myself before you
but you were invited to the mini-bash
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

This is true.
It's all my fault. I'll spank myself raw in penitence.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

Hurrah!
*readies the paddles*
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

If your plane crashes and you end up on an island
with a bunch of other misfits, I suggest you kill everyone immediately.
(

CowJam, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

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