Hiya folks
I thought I should post this because I may have a /talk spack at some point soon due to lack of sleep/unable to cope. Mr Sp@ms mum died on Thursday night very suddenly of a brain aneurysm 61 she was and fit as a fiddle. I usually use this place as a respite to get away from it all, but little things seem to be giving me the rage and I've already upset one friend on MSN without thinking. So if I go a bit more lol mental than usual you know why.
( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

great, no offence
great
( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

Oh Mongy this place would be shit without you.

( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

i try to use the forum for its purpose, tho many would think i didn't, sorry to them, no offence
smashing
( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

My sympathy.
Hope you're both OK.
( Druid, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

Thanks Druid
we're coping quite well at the moment I think.
( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

It is pretty shit, like. Still,
Leeds United eh?
( Druid, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

I know we had a conversation about that last night.
He's well chuffed, although I am not, I've said you're not taking the kids when town play Leeds.
( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

It's amazing how so many football fans really don't like Leeds.
Can you do some sort of magic dance and help Bradford get promoted this season? Then we might be able to have more excuses to all meet up.
( Druid, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

*points finger at simon grayson for leaving blackpool*

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

this would be good.

( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Sorry to hear that.
I don't know you but it's always shit when someone goes.
So have some love from an internet stranger.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

sorry to hear that :(
I hate funerals
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

While I'm not wishing anyone I know dead, and I am sorry to hear Mrs Sp@m's news,
once someone is dead the funeral isn't necessarily something to be endured. I've been to some great funerals.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 16 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

You didn't have to sing "Ding Dong the Witch is dead" quite so loudly though,

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 16 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

I think it was popping champagne at the graveside that set the tone.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 16 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

*pisses self laughing*

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 16 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

The onyl thing I desperatly hate about funerals is the music.
It really REALLY pisses me off. I hate the idea of it and I have told my family under no circumstances are they have sad music. It's only purpose is to make people cry. The idea of it being a tribute is lovely. But it can fuck off.
( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

Even ice cream van music?
I hate music at funerals too.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 16 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Ok.
The only thing worse than people going a bit nuts, is them telling us they're about to go a bit nuts.

Now we're all going to feel like we should pussy foot.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 16 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

Definitely not.
when I say I might go nuts, it might mean I post a thread or two in gibberish. And this place isn't well known for pussyfooting so I doubt that will happen and I don't expect it to.
( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

Ok.
Didn't mean to be such a willy either.

Hope you're all doing ok.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 16 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

You're not a willy you daft bugger.

( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

perhaps you could get cr3 to give you a special lolmental icon
so that everyone can see you're special needs

seriously though, all the best for you and yours. you are welcome to spack
( spacefish bong!, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Seriously though, a special needs icon could be useful on here.
Could it be set to automatically spot posts coming from Australia and icon up the poster?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 16 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

Swastika for Pickle Fairy whenever she expresses an opinion?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 16 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

would anyone NOT want a swastika icon?

( spacefish bong!, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

haha I would love a lolmental icon.

( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

I wuv ooooo
*cuddles*
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

Thank you lovely!

( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 16 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

sorry to hear that
all the best
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 16 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

Hiya lovely
I got your message last night off K but thought I'd leave you alone!
Sorry to hear honey. I'll give today a miss and come and see you all instead tomorrow.
If there is anything you want or need, give me a bell!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 16 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

Its fucking 8 am
8 am everyone
whooo hoooo
you know what that means?

do you?

it means that in one hours its 9am!
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 16 May 2009, 8:07, archived)

I just found a fantastic offer!
96 CANS OF STELLA ARTOIS FOR £20.50 AT TESCO!!

Hurry, offer ends tomorrow!
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 16 May 2009, 8:15, archived)

beer?
bah I have a bottle of absolute pear vodka for drinkies tonight whilst watching the eurovision.

cannot wait.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 16 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

Math A+
Extra letter B-
( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Sat 16 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

night b3ta
:D
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:34, archived)

Night night.
I'll be off to sleep in an hour, hopefully.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:35, archived)

night
:)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:37, archived)

It's my birthday.
I'm going to Disneyland* and all my mates cancelled on me at last moment.
How should I get back at the cunts?

*I'm 21.
( Grokthought wouldn't pay that for Chinese 5-Spice, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:23, archived)

ditch them and get friends who care about you.

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:24, archived)

^^
this.

I have cakes and hugs on offer should you want either of them. :)
Happy 21st.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:26, archived)

Out of curiousity
Does anyone else on /talk have cake and hugs, or are you forming a trend?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:28, archived)

don't know
just felt like sharing round and being nice. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:33, archived)

Damn your charm!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:34, archived)

is it so bad
to be nice?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:35, archived)

That was a compliment
:)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:37, archived)

oh.
/blushes
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:38, archived)

Cheers
I left the UK after being 18 for about 5 months. Today's been a long time coming.
Saturday will be spent at Disneyland, Sunday will be spent with my mate Sailor Jerry.
( Grokthought wouldn't pay that for Chinese 5-Spice, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:29, archived)

Happy birthday
EuroDisney was like a really bad acid trip coupled with a 36-hour round bus trip.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:30, archived)

I've never been to Disneyland
what's it like? Or is it the same?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:33, archived)

I've only been to the French one
It was very American, and quite French.

I'd go again, now I'm no longer a vegetarian.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:36, archived)

hmmm
will have to go one day then maybe :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:39, archived)

We can hitch-hike if you like?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:46, archived)

Hitchhike?
Have never done that before - sounds great! :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:48, archived)

It can be fucking laborious
but if Tigger is at your final destination, it's worth it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:52, archived)

Tigger!!!
I'm so in.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:54, archived)

It's actually much better.
I don't really know how to explain, but it just is.
( Grokthought wouldn't pay that for Chinese 5-Spice, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:36, archived)

Go get pissed like a normal person.
HURRAY 27 MINUTES LEFT ON MY SHIFT.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:33, archived)

Mine too!
I'm doing sod-all though. I'm a miserable bugger.
( Slippery Jim Seeking a psychotic lady for fun & sex & crime., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:33, archived)

happy birthday :)
:) hugs and cake for you too if you so desire.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:34, archived)

Happy birthday!
We share a birthday with Pierce Brosnan and Megan Fox.
( Grokthought wouldn't pay that for Chinese 5-Spice, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:38, archived)

you lucky buggers
on one hand - a sleazy grubby man who'd do you up the wrong'un as soon as you asked - and on the other - a sexy as fuck lady!

I share my birthday with Black Saturday and Laura Ingalls Wilder
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:39, archived)

I share mine
with 1/365th of the population. I'm sure a fair proportion of them are ugly.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:54, archived)

most likely
but who cares?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 7:57, archived)

roll call for you buggers who are still awake
/hands out cake and hugs.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 6:05, archived)

*glomp*

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 6:10, archived)

Glompage is good.
/glomps back.
/hands thick slice of choccy cake.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 6:11, archived)

I only got home an hour ago

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 16 May 2009, 6:11, archived)

if it isnt mr sunshine..
morning :D
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 6:12, archived)

Morning
/hands a slice of cake
/hugs.

where were you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 6:13, archived)

don't fucking touch me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 16 May 2009, 6:15, archived)

okeydoke
someone's cheerful today :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 6:18, archived)

thats about as good as he gets
unless you drive something obscure and polish..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 6:24, archived)

ahaha nope
oh well. doesn't fuss me. He can take me hugs and all or not at all. :)

If only I could apply that attitude to people I know in person..
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 6:31, archived)

kill them with hammers..

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 6:41, archived)

but that would be a little mean.

(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 6:45, archived)

when all you have is hammers
all your problems look like nails.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 6:46, archived)

Can't I just
bite somebody and call it a day?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 6:57, archived)

awake
going back to bed eventually
( Shiksa, Sat 16 May 2009, 6:45, archived)

P3L3
Has left the board.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:42, archived)

If you could die on the way out that'd be awesome.
Expecting a reply from p3l3 here.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:42, archived)

I'm starting to think that we're being trolled,
only I'm not sure he has the intelligence to manage that.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:43, archived)

Concurred.
I'm going to watch demolition man.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:45, archived)

And I'm going to go and make breakfast.
Good day to you.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:48, archived)

Can you explain the thing with the three shells?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:50, archived)

BOO!
hahahahah.


I realise I've seriously worn this joke down to a stubby nub no so this is 100% bed time.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:46, archived)

P3L3 is a cunt.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:35, archived)

yes.
and i feel the urge to photoshop something soon. anyone wants to be able to wear the b3ta zombie badge chuck me a gaz with a face pic of you and ill get round to it in the next week or so.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:36, archived)

oh yay
/goes off to find a picture.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:38, archived)

I zombied myself once
and can't allow anyone else to do it in case theirs is better.

Here.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:40, archived)

mine would be better..

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:41, archived)

And that's why it can never be.

(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:42, archived)

That reminds me of my halloween
costume.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:42, archived)

I see what you did there,
but I want you to know that you haven't wounded me deeply and made me cry a bit. I just took it with the good humour in which it was no doubt intended.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:43, archived)

I just really wanted to post a picture of poo.
It's in no way targeted at you.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:45, archived)

You've got that right.
A first class tosser. Did you see how upset he got down there? Classic.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:36, archived)

Oh what a spastic fuck.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:38, archived)

John Spartan you are fined 1 credit for a violation of the verbal morality statute.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:39, archived)

These insults lack imagination
and are failing to hold my interest.

G
O
O
D
N
I
G
H
T
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:39, archived)

Tell that to yourself an hour ago.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:40, archived)

Your right
Im clearly suffering from some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder. Seriously!!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:41, archived)

John Spartan you are fined 1 credit for a violation of the verbal morality statute.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:37, archived)

Agreed
A big sweaty smelly hairy distented twat.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:38, archived)

Before I go...
Regarding this:
www.b3ta.com/questions/strangebeds/post68784
This is actually possible because I fell asleep while shagging my ex and when I woke up my cock was all wrinkley like your fingers go when youve been in the bath too long.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:21, archived)

Look, just fuck off finally.

(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:22, archived)

Ok.
Your right.
Night.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:23, archived)

comparing yourself to PB
isnt going to endear you to us..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:24, archived)

I dont even know who that is
let alone compare him to myself.

oh and STOP TALKING TO ME AND LET ME GO TO BED IVE BEEN UP FOR 23 hours and 23 mins exactly!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:25, archived)

no one is making you press f5
now fuck off before you start to get angry again.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:27, archived)

I bet he's still refreshing.
Hi P3L3!
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:29, archived)

HI!
hehehe

No, I was finishing my last cigarette and then I was brushing my teeth and now I am about to go bed but you bastards wont let me. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Seriously tho, this is it, im going to bed.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:31, archived)

You fucking liar.
I can't believe you can just sit there and type outright falsehoods at me.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:32, archived)

Its not a lie
Im fast asleep.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:33, archived)

Is it safe to call him a cunt now he's gone?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:33, archived)

God I hate this.
If i go bed now, I'll be thinking "what are they calling me?"

Please post your insults here so I can find them all in one convenient place tomorrow morning.
Thank you.


and you are an eminem fan and therefore have no credibility to speak of and as a consequnce your opinion is insignifigant.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:35, archived)

OH SHIT BUSTED

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:35, archived)

I don't even care any more.
You're a cunt, P3L3. You're a cunt, you always have been, and I despise you.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:35, archived)

You were my biggest fan 10 mins ago.
Thanks.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:37, archived)

Shouldn't you be asleep?

(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:38, archived)

k

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:31, archived)

I was just about to go to bed
When my alcoholic ex neighbour phoned (bare in mind its 5am here) and offered to post ten pound through my letter box. This is 100% genuine!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:11, archived)

thanks for sharing.

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:13, archived)

I hope he puts your windows in.
I best be off.
Good Morning Internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:15, archived)

night mate

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:16, archived)

She.
Her name is susie. She supports her drink problem with catologue fraud and hustling fellow alcoholics but she always seems to have money when I dont.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:19, archived)

Funny that
Perhaps that's life's way of telling you something. A constantly drunken kiter is less shit than you are.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:21, archived)

I know!
How fucked up is that!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:22, archived)

that's GREAT!

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:16, archived)

It is!
Im fucking skint!

Im going b3d.
Night all!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:17, archived)

CHRIST, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO BED WILL YOU?
what's your favourite type of envelope?

I like the brown ones with the little plastic window in the front, those are ace
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:46, archived)

I'M ALL OUT OF TYPES OF ENVELOPE TO LIKE.
A HAM SANDWICH WITH SAUCE. NYOM NYOM NYOM BABBY TALK LOL OMG WOO YAY HOOPLAH.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:47, archived)

They're OK.
The white ones with windows are better, though.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:47, archived)

Me too
Windowed ones are great coz you can draw pictures of people inside and make it look like they are banging on the window.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:47, archived)

Why do you people come along when I want to head off to bed?
I'm tired of the internet taunting me with it's Piston_Brokables.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:48, archived)

Its probably cos I don't hang around /talk much
but why do you folks all seem to hate him so much? I don't get it?
Does he smell of faecal matter and attempt to steal your respective partner?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:49, archived)

I don't hate anybody on the internet.
Are we on about Piston_Broke?
He could halt the spinning of the earth with one of his stories.

He's the anti-fun.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:51, archived)

yeah, actually P_B is the exception to the rule.

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:52, archived)

he'd send a glass eye to sleep
which reminds me of his classic qotw post about falling asleep with his willy inside a lady

which was a colossal LIE
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:54, archived)

let's all enjoy that post one more time though
www.b3ta.com/questions/strangebeds/post68784
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:58, archived)

i am not going to click that
because i need a piss and dont want to do it while i am laughing that hard.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:00, archived)

it's the last bit where he says " ... we just shagged then instead" that really creases me up
comedy gold
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:03, archived)

Did she become the ex once he'd run out of "dorrahs"?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:04, archived)

she became his ex three days before a b4sh he was going to take her to
odd that
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:07, archived)

OH INTERNET MAN OF MISERY!
:(

She could have fucked Sexface. etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:07, archived)

all I'm saying is it was odd
I'm not implying anything slanderous!
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:14, archived)

Don't forget,
he's doing standup next month! Sadly I won't be there, but it promises to be a right laugh.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:05, archived)

he point blank refused to do his set at the last CHB bash
there was a comedy tent there with other acts and everything.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:08, archived)

Looking at it, I could actually go,
what with living in Leeds and that. I quite like that pub, too.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:14, archived)

PLEASE
take a video camera with you. that shit needs to be on youtube
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:14, archived)

I don't know.
I'm a pretty easygoing guy and don't really bear any resentment towards piston, despite the fact that every time we meet he seems to end up being a drunkenly violent tosser towards me. But I don't have any great desire to meet him again.

I could go in disguise, maybe.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:17, archived)

just lurk at the back and fuck off when he is done.

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:20, archived)

If SSG is really going I'll totally be there.

(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:25, archived)

do you remember that pic he posted of his girlfriend that time?
she looked like cyril sneer in a dress
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:05, archived)

oh yes
you mean spam_breadcake?

odd that she decided not to like me, also odd that she appeared shortly after this post, odd that she split with p_b three days before a bash

well, a suspicious person would just assume it was piston pretendi .... no, that would never happen
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:12, archived)

frank.
i would let you do my right up the shitter. dry.

thats how much i love you
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:15, archived)

Az, I have an enquiring mind and a need to know the truth
I also need some breakfast followed by sleep

the dry bumming will just have to wait, goodnight sexy b3ta lovelies
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:19, archived)

night dude :D

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:20, archived)

Sleep well, sweet Giggly.

(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:23, archived)

nah
we even accept sexface here.

well.

tolerate..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:51, archived)

Chillax, Fangkitty.
I think you're reading too much into a simple exchange of views. Nobody is getting overexcited or angry on here - we're all emotionally mature enough to understand that it's all a bit of fun and nothing to get het up over.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:53, archived)

I'm chilled
I just wanted to know cos you folks kept mentioning him.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:59, archived)

p_b?
He's just this guy, you know? He has many notable attributes, and one of the best is that when you abbreviate his username like that it looks sort of like a quizzical, slightly apprehensive but generally optimistic face.

p_b

See?
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:01, archived)

Haha, that little guy is so expressive.
p_b

When I focus on the p he looks a bit sad, but then I just have to glance at the b and things seem brighter. The underscore in the middle sort of balances things out.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:07, archived)

contrary to internet rumour, I've never been balanced out with Underscore in the middle
but hey, I'm broad minded, don't knock it til you try it, great stuff
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:21, archived)

wait until you meet him
imagine rimmer from red dwarf. but without the charisma.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:01, archived)

Goodnight
Sweetcheeks

*pats arse*

NIGHT ALL!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:04, archived)

oh god.
.... seriously?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:08, archived)

sec. lemme find the b3ta flickr pool

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:17, archived)

i hope you havent eaten recently.
www.flickr.com/photos/cheekyboy/313077105/
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:18, archived)

Haha, I was at that one.
There are some some seriously sexy pictures of me on there.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:20, archived)

hmmm
i'm not going to pass judgement.
mainly cos most photos of me look like utter shite.
/tries not to boke.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:27, archived)

I like the purple ones
mainly cos you don't see many of those and because they usually have a handwritten letter or something in them.
And I like purple. A lot
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:48, archived)

I clicked on your username to view your profile earlier
so now your username shows up in purple on my screen.

Just so you know.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:03, archived)

you just made me smile.
Although - why were you viewing my profile?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:07, archived)

Probably the eternal hope
That you may be female and have a photo in your profile with your tits on display.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:08, archived)

Dude, I wasn't going to mention that.
It says she's 17 in her profile and I'm still on the watchlist from last time.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:10, archived)

I make it a habit to look at the profiles of usernames I don't recognise
so that I can find out a little more about that person.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:09, archived)

Own up!
www.b3ta.com/talk/6153156
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:10, archived)

ahhh
well okay.

hmm. I should probably put that I'm taken up there so nobody foolishly tries to pander their way into my pants.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:11, archived)

Taken up where?

( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:12, archived)

taken,
as in off the market,
and Up on my profile.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 5:25, archived)

New Star Trek Movie
I just watched it and in true 'comic-book-guy' fashion I have come on the internet to register my disgust immediately. What the fuck do they think they are playing at? Completely rewriting 40 years of startrek history and not even slighly attempting to stick to basic temporal physics. I really wanted to hate it, then started to like it, then at the end I did hate it.

Discuss.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:07, archived)

fuck off

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:08, archived)

Hahha
Thats not to mention the effects look like a fucking video game.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:11, archived)

while you are fucking off
correct the typo in your sig you fucking spastic
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:12, archived)

I bet your a pussycat in real life.
Seriously, do you want a friend?
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:14, archived)

He has never got over
Having had his teeth punched out by a girl when he was 7.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:16, archived)

Poor
Troll.

*sob*
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:18, archived)

YOU'RE A COMIC BOOK FAN!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHA!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:32, archived)

Well I read...
Watchmen a few months ago and Ive still got all the akira comics somewhere but thats about it, Why?
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:34, archived)

HAHAHAHA
Oh internet! Put down the drawings and go meet some girls.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:35, archived)

Awesome taste!
Do you want to join my Akira fanclub? ^_^

Ignore all these halfwits, they haven't the brains to appreciate the beauty of a story told through the medium of drawing.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:37, archived)

i love you

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:41, archived)

Hey, do you like Akira too?
This is awesome, I didn't realise there were so many people here who really understood the genius of Katsuhiro Otomo.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:43, archived)

Its friday night.
Theyre all either drugged/pissed out of their minds and therefore excused for their incoherant babbling or angry loners who take out there frustrations on people 1000's of miles away, anonymous and safe in the knowledge that they'll never meet.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:42, archived)

I think you're dead right.
Don't let it get to you, you know that you're better than these pathetic morons who have nothing better to do than make fun of genuine people who're just trying to hold a civilised conversation about an underappreciated artform.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:45, archived)

Hello. I'm JMG.
One day you'll tell everybody you're above my posts on the internet.
Then you'll tell them we're best buddies. On the internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:45, archived)

I tell girls that I go to b4shes with JMG
chicks dig that
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:47, archived)

I'm just like Paris Hilton.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:50, archived)

when you say "read", you mean "look at the pictures", right?
I've been wondering, do you ever feel the need to colour them in? that might be fun too
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:39, archived)

i would rather give my self a prefrontal lobotomy with the blunt end of a shovel
than call you a friend.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:22, archived)

You poor creature.
Why are you angry? Do you have trouble relating to people? Does typing abuse help you deal with your issues? I want to help.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:23, archived)

au contraie mon capitan..
i am not angry. people like you dont get me angry, you dont exist. you are just pixels on a screen. all i feel for you is pity.

and you stil have a typo in your sig. fuckwit
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:25, archived)

Because I really dont care if there is a typo.
Its 4.25 and I really should be going to bed, not correcting spelling for your benefit.
Your complex fascinates me. You equate me with a pixel? This suggests to me that you have completely colapsed into your own self made world based around an internet/computing fantasy in which you associate everything outside the world you have created with something that is inside your world. For example, you wish to suggest to me that I am insignifigant, one of a great number and not at all individual to the many other pixels that make up a display. How would you describe yourself in these terms?
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:31, archived)

I think that's a pretty good analysis of Azra3l's entire personality and world view, right there.
Top psychologicing, Dr. P3L3!
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:32, archived)

aaand my work here is done..
*reels in the line*
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:33, archived)

That is a pathetic cop out.
No great flame retort? No more wit? That was too easy.

I think with that post I have delivered the psychological equivalent of a knockout blow.

Cool!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:35, archived)

well it obviously bothered you
hence the reeling of the line.

made me chuckle
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:36, archived)

Nope,
Im just looking for an excuse not to go to bed. This one has ran out now.

*Shakes hands with all concerned*

Good night, pleasure crossing wits with you.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:38, archived)

Don't go now!
I feel like we started off on the wrong foot and haven't really got to know each other. You seem like a perfectly nice chap, let's try again.

Hi, I'm MooCow_Byter. Welcome to /talk.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:40, archived)

Thanks.
I dont visit talk very often but Im an intermittent regular (if you can get your head around the contradiction)
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:44, archived)

No problem, champ.
Us regulars have to look out for each other!
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:48, archived)

"Crossing wits?"
I never do battle with an unarmed opponent.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:40, archived)

THATS MORE LIKE IT.
Top class insult there old sprout.

(not sarcasm)
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:43, archived)

oh dear
stop it now, we're just laughing at you

and the more you protest about it the more we're going to laugh, that's just how it happens here

go to bed before we make you lose your temper and flounce, there's a good noob
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:37, archived)

I tell you what does wind me up!
Being called a NOOB. Ive been coming to b3ta under many guises for about 10 years!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:39, archived)

ten years?!
dude, this site is only about 7 and a bit years old..

b3ta user Azra3l (7308)


* a member for 6 years, 6 months and 8 days

good luck with that.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:42, archived)

I used to go by the name
C0un7z3r0
aka CuntHer0
aka Motherfucker
aka I hate that guy

I got banned and signed up again with a new nick and learned to not be baited by the bitter flotsom that washes up on b3tas shore.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:46, archived)

I don't beleive you

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:49, archived)

Hey Gilgy,
give this guy a chance. As he says, he's giving us a second go and not getting upset or being drawn into arguments or wild namecalling and accusations just because a few bad eggs try to provoke him. I think the least you could do is respect that and allow him the same opportunity.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:51, archived)

I was lampooning his sig
cheap shot, no offence, forum banter, great stuff, cool
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:55, archived)

What you just dont beleive me full stop
or you dont beleive that I am the living legend: C0un7z3r0.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:54, archived)

still isnt 10 years..
did you co found it with rob and cal?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:51, archived)

that's a coincidence, there was a noob here last night who'd been here 6 years
seems like everyone got here before me but just forgot to sign up
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:42, archived)

i acheived my goal.
i wound you up enough to rant at me a couple of times. and possibly using the lowest wordcount its ever taken me to annoy a noob.

you really need to up your game if you are going to post here dude, this isnt aspies anonymous you know.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:40, archived)

hey
I float around on qotw quite a bit!
I'm not an aspie!
/trudges off to be emo
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:45, archived)

yeah, but its all in the approach
come here and act like a normal person and you will rarely if ever get picked on. storm in here like that twat did and we will rip your head off and fuck the wet end.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:50, archived)

How exactly did i
Storm In?
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:58, archived)

you posted
at this time of night, when the board is slow, its enough.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:03, archived)

collapsed

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:34, archived)

why am I sensing
an undertone of sarcasm? or is it patronisation? hmmm.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:26, archived)

it takes more than sarcasm to fit in to /talk
you need wit as well, and this poor bastard is lacking it severly
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:31, archived)

Oh dear.
maybe I should go then now before the scary people wake up...
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:33, archived)

I thought most fucking video games were banned.
Or is that just the rape ones?
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:14, archived)

!!
Fuck me! I read about this. I've defended computer games against accusations of extreme violence and sexism and all the other 'isms you can think of but that game is just fucking Indefensable. I think the developers should be bum raped.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:17, archived)

If you design the bum-rape game
I'll buy it and push the buttons.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:19, archived)

No, I mean that they should literally
be bundled into the back of a van full of butch queer lifers who specialise in administering rectal colapse. I think a buggering would give them a new perspective.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:22, archived)

And you consider that to be
An appropriate punishment for designing a game where nobody gets hurt. You must be one sick fucker.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:27, archived)

That was a colourful and exaggerated way of expressing my extreme disgust.
It is completely morally indefensable. What possible good can come from this. This is the first time I have ever said this but here goes:

THAT GAME SHOULD BE BANNED
THAT GAME SHOULD NEVER HAVE EVEN BEEN CONCEIVED AS AN IDEA LET ALONE APPROVED AND DEVELOPED!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:33, archived)

Is that necessarily the case given that it was originally released for the Japanese market?
Who are you to judge Japanese sensibilities?
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:37, archived)

How does japanese sensibilities
have anything to do with rape simulators. Its offensive to human nature. If a Male lion strolls into another males pride and starts fucking his bitch he fights him. Its offensive to nature as a whole!!
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:51, archived)

That seems a bit harsh.
All these people have done is try to earn a bit of cash to put food on their families' tables by producing a game; a game which brings joy to thousands of people, no less, and you think that for this they deserve painful humiliation and sexual violence?

You sicken me. I would describe the unpleasantries that I feel you deserve, but I don't want to stoop to your level.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:29, archived)

Star Trek = shit
see also: Star Wars

NEXT!
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:10, archived)

Ive not watched it in years
but in my teens i was a big TNG and DS9 fan. The rest was a load of arse.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:12, archived)

Nah, let's not.
I'm going to take a minute here just to appreciate mongychops' new posting style. It is just brilliant, truly some of the best and most subtle trolling I've seen in a good while. I have long been an admirer of his work, but he has really outdone himself this time around. I look forward to watching this unfold and eagerly anticipate his next masterpiece.

No offence, brilliant, cool.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:12, archived)

?
Explain.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:13, archived)

No.

(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:14, archived)

mongy is ace
he did the polite trolling thing a while ago, it's fantastically maddening

I love mongychops. He's a cunt and he completely does not care what people think about him
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:15, archived)

I know, he's brilliant.
I knew it was something special when I found myself starting to get annoyed at him. I also love mongy and I don't care who knows.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:17, archived)

it's remarkable that on a board famed for being nasty to everyone, the best way to piss everyone off is by being extremely nice to them
forum banter, great stuff, no offence, cool
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:22, archived)

*nodding in silent agreement*

( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:24, archived)

True.
All the same, I do sometimes miss Rathen.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:25, archived)

I've not met Mongy.
I have a strange desire to now.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:21, archived)

I've met him IRL at an omgb4sh
great stuff
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:30, archived)

I have a very important question.
It's about beards. Gents:

Why do your beards get red in it pretty much no matter what your natural hair colour is??? Az looks like he has darkish hair - yet he has red in his beard. My History teacher has brown hair with a red beard. Even the Blonde gents seem to get a little red in it!

WHY?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:40, archived)

its not the red in my beard that worries me
its the grey in my pubes..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:42, archived)

Everybody gets that eventually though.
Hell I have a tiny grey streak on my head! I'm 17! should not have grey hair at 17!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:45, archived)

i am looking forward to going completly grey
ill just dye it pink again.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:47, archived)

I've been going grey since I was sixteen.
All part of having dark hair.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:00, archived)

I don't mind the odd grey.
Makes me look distinguished.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:02, archived)

that
actually makes me feel better. Ta.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:02, archived)

Ginger beard disease.
I too am afflicted with it - those bloody redheads are tainting the gene pool. We ought to come up with a lasting answer to the problem. An ultimate resolution, if you will.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:48, archived)

hey hey
don't mock the redheads.
I have red and brown mixed together fairly evenly as my natural hair colour.
But the beard thing - now that's just odd *is thankful I cannot grow one as am a ladybeing*

my resolution? dye it :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:51, archived)

Thankful?
You're totally missing out. The possession of, or at least ability to possess, a fine beard is one of the great joys of life.

I feel sorry for you that you'll never be able to experience that. Unless you become one of those old ladies who manage to grow some decent facehair. I guess there's always that to look forward to.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:54, archived)

well
A combination of Norks and a beard hanging off yer face would look a little odd - no?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:55, archived)

No.
It'd be sexy as hell. Just wait, once the surgery is done you'll all see!
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:56, archived)

ahaha
I'm sure I'd really rather not.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:58, archived)

It's going to be awesome.
Mixing up the best body bits - breasts, beard and willy - all in one perfect package.

I've been practising on all these homeless people, and I think I'm almost ready to go through with it for myself.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:01, archived)

careful now, they have radically different genetics you know
remember to factor in their inherent meths immunity, enhanced shouting capability and massively over-developed smell glands
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:04, archived)

Analogous experiments with gibbons forced into poverty have been succesful so far.
I feel confident that I can compensate.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:13, archived)

It's something to do with red hair being a recessive gene.
You should probably ask a doctor this, much more likely to know.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:48, archived)

See
This? That's you that is.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:54, archived)

I'm not from Athlone:(
That video is brilliant. I wish I had sound here.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:55, archived)

She's pure class
"It went right up my gowl and it was fucking big."
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:58, archived)

Haha, I remember that.
Fucking hell. I love the word gowl.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:59, archived)

"I fancy him"
"Because he's not bad-looking for a knacker."
( Lord Gnome, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:01, archived)

that's the first time I've ever seen that
my stomach hurts and I nearly did a little wee from laughing so hard.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:05, archived)

it's God's way of telling you to have a fucking shave you beardy tramp

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:57, archived)

My beard is blonde. My hair is brown.
that is all.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:04, archived)

Time for a new thread.
i am playing evony. what are you lot doing that is keeping you up this late?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:14, archived)

I am watching a film.
I like the interaction between Gilgamesh and Woodside's /talk Greasmonkey scripts.

[distinctly shoddy post detected]

[Blocked post by some twat]
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:15, archived)

if it blocks posts by twats,
/qotw would be empty /board would have 3 posts a day and /talk would look like you were signed in as syncubus
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:19, archived)

Sadly neither script is foolproof as yet; quite a lot of false positives.
But I certainly can't be arsed to try and do better.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:21, archived)

WOODSIDE HAS NICKED MY CODE
_{and cleaned up my shoddy scripting}
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:59, archived)

I didn't realise Woodside had done one.
I luff Gilgy's one.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:27, archived)

Unfortunately working
As it's not late in forrin climes, but, looking forward to a Pixies tribute band and free BBQ & Beer tonight.
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:18, archived)

ello dude :D

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:26, archived)

Ello Az
Howzit hanging?
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:27, archived)

nothing wrong here
that a truck full of cash smashing into my front room wouldnt fix..

hows you?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:31, archived)

Travelling mostly
KL for three days last week, KL again this week then over to Ho Chi Min City. recession my arse!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:33, archived)

i am not jealous at all
not in the slighest

cunt
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:35, archived)

Not all it's cut out to be...
I have to work (And turned down a free shag on Monday coz I was too busy)
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:37, archived)

would you rather be busy in KL
or england?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:40, archived)

Stoopid Fucking Question
I've been out of the UK for 23 years with no intention of returning
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:45, archived)

so stfu then :)
right. gonna walk my dog. be back in a bit
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:47, archived)

s'not actually late here
nearly half noon actually.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:23, archived)

shocking behaviour

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:27, archived)

yes
cos I can really control the timezones :D
I just like making all the scary people toddle off to be and the nice ones insomniacs cos they're secretly on Ausland time.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:29, archived)

how about the scary insomniacs
like me?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:30, archived)

you're not that scary.
I've met worse.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:32, archived)

i have never been the same since that car accident..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:33, archived)

*Clicks*
It's an improvement!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:36, archived)

Rev Jesse made that for me..
my effort is on the top of my profile.

thats the original
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:37, archived)

Eh.
Still not that scary.
The superficial stuff ain't what scares me. It's the nasty insidious stuff you can't see underneath.

And spiders.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:36, archived)

meet velvet
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:40, archived)

GARGH.
I knew I shouldn't have clicked that.
/shudders.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:41, archived)

its not the tarantulas you have to worry about
they generally pack less poison in a bite than a bad wasp sting

its the little fuckers you have in your country you need to watch out for.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:44, archived)

Having been stung by 30 european wasps
at once (ours don't sting they're very placid), I'd rather not find out if that's allright!

I hate spiders. Word of advice. NOWHERE IS SAFE in Australia when it comes to spiders. Up north - they're fucking huge and deadly, Down south, down here? They're sly and hideous and the ones no bigger then your thumbnail can kill you in less then 24 hours.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:47, archived)

Working,
watching the last episode of Being Human, finally.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:24, archived)

I've heard about that..
I was going to download it, is it any good?
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:26, archived)

yeah. one of the best things the bbc has done for a while

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:27, archived)

Yeah, it's very good.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:28, archived)

Torrent Found
Only problem is it will probably take about a week to download...thanks for the recommendation.
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:30, archived)

2nd opinion.
Its a load of toss, 'starring' a load of tossers.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:09, archived)

the last episode rocks :D
cant wait for the next series
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:26, archived)

It's cool.
George's costume is shit, though.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:27, archived)

how badly did they rip off american werewolf for his transformation scenes?
and leonorah cricklow.. WOULD
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:29, archived)

Which one is that, Annie?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:30, archived)

yep.

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:35, archived)

thoroughly agree.
Being a swinger has perks when the girls look like that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:33, archived)

gentlemen
START YOUR PANDERTRONS!
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:41, archived)

bring it.
won't work you know. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:43, archived)

dont ever say that around sexface
he would see it as a challenge.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:45, archived)

He'd see a breeze block as a challenge.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:49, archived)

Regardless
it still wouldn't work.

I'd just struggle not to laugh.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:52, archived)

just like every other woman who knows him then.

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:09, archived)

This pile of spunk:
SPUNK
( P3L3 is not my real name., Sat 16 May 2009, 4:08, archived)

good ning peeps of a late night nature
I am just back from the pub, and have witnessed that rare thing (over here anyway) the full on bitch fight.
Two girls on a hen night fell out over something (I know not what) and started into each other.

At first it was just light slaps and "you bitch" type comments, however it took a nasty turn when one girl broke a bottle on the bar and slashed the face of the other.

The staff (who were already dealing with another fight outside) quickly got the two separated, and called the police/ambulance etc.

I found out when leaving that the girl that used the bottle had in fact just attacked her own niece.

charming.

What was the last fight you saw like?
( TBL I posted this on, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

A bit fighty

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

grab a shotgun and start raping some sense into them
/ac
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:02, archived)

a good plan
except I left my shotgun at home.

damn.
( TBL I posted this on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

brb, need another poo

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:05, archived)

www.poobutton.com ?
still a bit nsfw
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:06, archived)

indeed it is
luckily for me I have seen that before.

I still clicked it though
( TBL I posted this on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:08, archived)

I'm just posting this in case anyone thinks I'm still having a poo
I finished ages ago, don't go thinking I'm still having a poo

should probably popular page this important announcement, thanks
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:30, archived)

Does that shitlover BobTodd still post?
She loved shit.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:32, archived)

she hates us on /talk now
she just draws anime rapemonsters on /board now or something
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:34, archived)

Aren't we shit enough?
I've a good mind to stage a dirty protest.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

well you could have said that half an hour ago, I've just done a right bog-blocker here

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

Never mind
I suppose I'll just have to forget about it.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

don't be such a doormat
kick up a fuss!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:51, archived)

RIGHT, I WILL
FUCK YOU BOBTODD. WE ARE UTTERLY FUCKING SHIT HERE ON /TALK.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:55, archived)

there we go!
that's the /talk spirit coming *snigger* out!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:59, archived)

nasty
saw a boy have his head kicked in at school the other day. Went to hospital in an ambulance.
Charming institution.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:08, archived)

In your profile you say you're coming to the U.K and asking for reccommendations.
Want to be a bit more specific?

edit: fuck this, i'm to bed.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

I for one recommend going into the roughest pub in Hunslet wearing a T-shirt that says "LEEDS UNITED ARE SHIT".
             
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:11, archived)

eh not really
have never been there so anything you think is a good place to go/drink/see things/do things is all good! :)

sleep well.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

you really need to GTFO that town...

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:11, archived)

I know.
Hence the move to the UK. About as far away as I can get while still being on this planet.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:13, archived)

Hint: avoid anywhere that's both affordable and south of Sheffield.
Unless you want to be mugged, raped, horribly murdered and charged for the privilege.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:14, archived)

Ummm
will be living in Cambridge with someone - does that count? not quite sure where Sheffield is..
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

On a map of the UK mainland, it's roughly in the middle.
Because London and the home counties are crammed into the south-east corner, the top 80% of the country is usually referred to as "the north".
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:24, archived)

But I always see people saying
"it's real grim oop north"
You're saying I'll be mugged, raped, murdered and charged for that living in the south!
/is losted
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:26, archived)

its grim up north
because all the houses look the same, the people are miserable cunts and the weather is shit.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:27, archived)

Other than the weather
this is also true of the south.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:34, archived)

yeah, but if you have to live somewhere like that
the sunshine helps :D

also london is the greatest city in the fucking world.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

Dunno
I lived in London for nearly 20 years and can't stand the fucking place.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:38, archived)

i wont deny its a tough city to live in
you need the right mental attitude i guess.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:40, archived)

I've not lived in a city or town
since I was 10 years old. I go to school in town and it shocks me how close together everything is!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:42, archived)

london is gonna be one hell of a culture shock..
15 million (ish) people..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

fuck me sideways and up a wall...
that's a lot of people. Melbourne is just over a fifth of that!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:46, archived)

Nah
not unduly concerned with it being tough...it's just expensive and mostly ugly.
edit - I've lived in Glasgow, Manchester and now back in Newcastle...all better than London.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:45, archived)

lots of history to it though.
I love history. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:47, archived)

You'll love Colne (a small market town in darkest Lancashire) then.
It dates all the way back to the Stone Age; indeed, some of its inhabitants are from the same evolutionary period.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:53, archived)

ahaha
well I have family somewhere in Lancashire so that'd be a good excuse!
Oh gods. Maybe I'm related to stone age people.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:54, archived)

pffft

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:54, archived)

Hahaha
do they stare and mutter at horseless carriages?
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:57, archived)

I'm reliably told they still point at aeroplanes.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:58, archived)

We tend not to get much rain east of the Pennines.
Whereas last time I went down to East Anglia, it rained almost constantly for three weeks.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

ahah
I love Rain. Rain is precious here. We don't get enough of it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:38, archived)

Ah see, that's propaganda.
The north is generally no more grim than the south, but as it's a lot more industrialised, both the mean income per head and the living expenses are lower (at least, outside the major cities.) So you may not have so many tapas bars and other signs of affluence to hand, but your wages generally go further; and, outside the major cities, people tend to be more easy-going and good-humoured. Except in Dewsbury, they're a miserable bunch of bastards there.

There are some beautiful places in the north and the south, and there are some total shitholes in both. You really have to sample both to get a good perspective.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:33, archived)

well
am planning on doing a fair bit of travelling for a bit so hopefully will get to see both!

Everybody says to avoid Cardiff for some reason but I want to go there! Torchwood is Ace.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

you do know its just a TV show
right?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:37, archived)

aye
but I have an odd fascination with it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:41, archived)

Ummmm
on a map of the UK mainland, Cumbria/Northumberland are roughly in the middle.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:27, archived)

yeah, i just saw that calendar thread
Pro Tip: dont go anywhere piston broke will be unless you want to see some of the most cringemaking chatup lines in the world..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:14, archived)

ahaha
It won't matter - am taken and will continue to be taken when I get there so it's all a wasted effort. I'm not looking for anybody else.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:17, archived)

he really wont care..
possibly the dullest person on the planet. at the hoodbutter bash a fwe weeks ago it was only the lack of rope that stopped me and donkeygums taking him into the feilds and tying the cunt to a tree.

its not bullying, he really is an idiot
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:19, archived)

ahahah
Let me know ahead of schedule and I'll bring some rope to a /talk bash.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:21, archived)

the hoodbutters usually do 2 a year.
you will be here just in time for the christmas one i reckon..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

ahaha
it'll depend on whether or not I make it out of the bedroom to get there.
That first bash of mine will be a struggle I think..
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:24, archived)

if you are bashing the bed
you are doing it wrong..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:26, archived)

ahah no
just the pubs.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:28, archived)

oh really?
waggles keys

www.usedcarsni.com/8308798
( TBL I posted this on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:19, archived)

eh it's shiny sure
but I'll survive the public transport. Honest. Your public transport systems are 10x better then ours are out where I am.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

ok ok.... I see you want maybe a cheaper model....
www.usedcarsni.com/26963024

there.


half the price*










*wishes he could afford a tyre on that car
( TBL I posted this on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:26, archived)

aha my dream car?
the 1974 TE27 Toyota Corolla.

I currently drive a 1995 Ford Festiva. Red and zippy and good mileage. Good little car.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:34, archived)

thats a really boring dream car..

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:46, archived)

so?
it has attitude! You see one of those and the engine is loud and the car is painted a loud colour and sure it doesn't play CD's but it has a certain kinda charm to it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 2:49, archived)

i want one of these....
membres.lycos.fr/fordmustang/mustangv8/photos/Shelby%20Mustang%20GT-500(Elenor).jpg
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:52, archived)

Nice.
Was the girl's face badly injured?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

he's not answering so I'll make something up
her cerebellum fell out of her eye socket and she need her arse peeling for an emergency face transplant
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:52, archived)

Cool.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:54, archived)

Come on
Pictures or it didn't happen :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 3:02, archived)

That is so HOT
that I'm going to bed.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 3:06, archived)

Well paint me green and ride me silly...
Just watched 'Inland Empire' and it was a total head fuck, not as good as his earlier films, but still pretty mental.

Since i'm in the mood can you suggest some other 'barmy' cinematic treats for me?
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:22, archived)

Balmy?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:22, archived)

*sigh*
:(
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

No no
the less balm the better.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

You trying to be funny, mate?
Suggestion - try harder or fuck off.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

Hahaha

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

Oh I totally went there.
and I've never even driven a car from Japan.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

I OWN A HONDA.
GET ******** ON THE HOTLINE!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/bullies/post423269
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

OH INTERNET!
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 1:43, archived)

Don't mess with Mr Lizard, internet tough guy.
He drives an Accord and once uttered a bad word about JMG.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:48, archived)

HAHA!
That's fantastic!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:45, archived)

Oh dear god,
It's you.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

Oh and FOOTBALL JMG.
I'm greatly pleased to see franchise cry.
On the telly.
And my local boozer are selling Bowmore Single Malt Whiskey for a Very Reasonable Price.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:43, archived)

I strongly approve of this sort of thing
*firm whisky handshakes*
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

Fulham, tomorrow.
500 away fans.

500.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 1:45, archived)

350 more than normal.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 1:45, archived)

Ninian Park lets in more away fans.
That is to say, it used to let in more away fans. :(

I do quite like Craven Cottage though, lovely place. Are you heading to London in a Geordie convoy JMG?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:47, archived)

It's at home.
I'm there. Oh yes.
Full pomp.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

I see, it's at Magpie Park.
I wish Newcastle all the best in their fight for survival.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

Pathetic
seeing as it's a 3pm Saturday and they've got a possible Europe spot.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:51, archived)

They're like Charlton.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 16 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

They made my SEASON JMG, I'll not hear a word said against Charlton.
I love it when Norwich have Crucial Crunch Games In London, they always fail epically at them.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

who was that aimed for?

(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

I BET you drive a Honda Accord.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

Jurassic Park.
You'll shit a brick. There's giant lizards in it and everything.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 16 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

Never heard of that one...
Sounds original.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:24, archived)

Nah, it's alright. I was just being flippant. It's a decent film.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 16 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

"The Grandmother".
Released 1970, it was the first film by David Lynch that was more than five minutes long.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VaI1v0CIlA&videos=ldsrQrbVCWg&playnext_from=TL&playnext=1

It's an acquired taste - Jack Nance (the star of "Eraserhead") compared it to "spending half an hour in the electric chair"
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:24, archived)

I haven't seen it yet,
but Surveillance is by the family Lynch. Anyone seen it?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:26, archived)

BTW...
I do like my Lynch films, and yes, Inland Empire was a 3 hour head fuck. I saw it twice in the cinema.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

out of interest
What's everyone's favourite or worst Lynch fillum.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

Lost Highway is awesome!
But I've pretty much enjoyed them all. If I had to pick a weak one, it would probably be Dune, didn't do it for me. *braces self*
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

They're all indulgent wanky bollocks.
Lynch should totally try harder or fuck off.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

Why don't you and your Honda Accord fuck off?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:48, archived)

*sharp intake of breath*
Don't mess with an Accord driver man.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

Dune is shit but good
Mulholland Drive is execrable

Fire Walk With Me, Eraserhead and Blue Velvet are the very best. I'd like to see David Lynch directing a new Matrix sequel.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:52, archived)

"The Grandmother" is by far the grimmest, but also the most emotionally involving.
"Eraserhead" is the most imaginative. I've not seen enough of the later ones to form a balanced opinion.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

'Eraserhead' is RUBBISH.
A film to shout 'OH FOR FUCKS'S SAKE' at.

Dreadful, actually, properly unwatchable.
And I've seen Vanilla Sky.
Twice.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

you fucking goon
Eraserhead is a work of fucking ART, that's what it is
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

It's art in the same way that half of the Tate Modern is art.
Wanky, inpentrable, indulgent shit, that only cunts proclaim to admire, because they're cunts, trying to impress other cunts.

Dancing cooked chickens? fuck off.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

It's still in a class above its innumerable rip-offs.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

That's rather like saying that treading in dogshit offers a much more rounded turd-standing-on experience.
Oh Woodside, you're making me very disappointed in you young man.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:06, archived)

I'd like to go on record as saying that 'Eraserhead' is even shitter than 'The Wall'.
Yes.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:06, archived)

Each to their own.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

Oh Woodside, you've sold out man..
..there was a time when you'd argue this point TO THE BITTER END.

It's £3 a pint for Abbot in The Angel now, bad times.

:(
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:14, archived)

Well, y'know,
you've got your opinion, I've got mine, and when all's said and done it really doesn't matter.

I might add it's still only £2.10 per pint for both the handpulled ales in the more expensive of my locals. Just to rub it in like.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:18, archived)

I don't drink abbot, so I'm generally at least 70p a night better off.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:21, archived)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was pretty weird
most of Kaufman's output would be my recommendation, although I thought Adaptation was bollocks.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

Ugh, my coffee had limescale in the bottom:(((
Uck.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

Try lemonscale
it's much nicer.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

That's fucking rank.
Find out who washed up last and set them on fire.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 16 May 2009, 1:31, archived)

It's from the kettle, the water is very limey here.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

Does it drink gin
and speak Italian?
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

or just clean the fucking kettle

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:43, archived)

This.
I haven't been here in nearly a month, I forgot how ming the kettle is.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

kettle merciless
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:46, archived)

WIN!
*applauds*
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

Actual real life amusing strikethrough

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

Hehe.
That's my Da's nickname for my sister's boyfriend.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:50, archived)

fine then, I'll post this again
www.mingthemerciless.com/team_stupid.html
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

*is amused for hours*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 16 May 2009, 2:07, archived)

This is a new thread.
There are many new threads like but this one is mine.
My new thread is my best friend, without it I am nothing.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:44, archived)

I just took a shit in your thread.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:44, archived)

It was very nice.
Like choc lick.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:46, archived)

Like this
www.poobutton.com

sort of NSFW
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

:(
sort of?
( weaver., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:48, archived)

Yes.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

Well I say.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:48, archived)

Oh you fucker.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

Three clicks a charm.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

I just got asked why I was listening to Scatman John.
*fumes*
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:51, archived)

thread mum
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

Your timing is all out...
:(
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

This is my reply, this is my gun*cups genitals*.
This is for flaming, this is for fun.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:46, archived)

I personally think this is one of my better posts.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

Well, I've added to your total.
We'll se if others think it's one of your best.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:48, archived)

I liked it because of the wordplay.
I'm quite proud of myself.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

I enjoyed seeing my posts, when at the Hoodbutter's place.
I laughed at my own words, imagine that, I made a funny.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

probably not.
but he could punch one down your jap
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

Oof.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

I tried punching a collegue in the palm today.
I kept skimming rather than hitting square on.

Targeted punches are not my strong suit.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:53, archived)

This is because I have an unusually large urethra, isn't it? :(

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:54, archived)

I bet you'd fuck a guy in the ass.
And not have the god damned courtesy to give him a reach around.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:51, archived)

Is that from "Full Metal B3tan"?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

Hmm, films re-done with a talk theme.
I like this idea.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:54, archived)

If done with a /links theme
it could be "Alottaclips NOW!"
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

If you think I'm hot, click this.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:54, archived)

If you think I'm not, click this.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:54, archived)

Come on B3ta?!
Don't you think I'm totally hot? I have a pipe for fucks sake! GEEZ!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:06, archived)

As you're on /talk
this would, logically, make you the Pied Piper.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

I'm going do something
what shall I etc?
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

Come to London.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

No
London is shit.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

That's why I don't live there.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

Pfft, London is distinctly shoddy.
This idiot filter is chuffing excellent. Good work, Woodside.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:24, archived)

Idiot filter eh?
Guess you can't read this then, you spacker!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:29, archived)

Wait...
oh...
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:29, archived)

In the right circumstances, it can even work in context.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6152097
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:39, archived)

I would like to try out your filter.
Would this be possible? May I try out your filter, Mr. Woodside?
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:41, archived)

Oh my, that's a bit special.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:42, archived)

Oh, that would be a damned fine example.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:45, archived)

hahaha.
Excellent job, I love it highlights the offending text.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:58, archived)

If you hover over it, it'll tell you what was there before.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:00, archived)

Ah, I wondered about that.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:01, archived)

lolz

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 1:04, archived)

Look at what I
just did.
I'm a bad man.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 15 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

Haha.
Brill.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

Oh you terrible bastard.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

your good at this, or maybe your not, i'm not to judge, no offence
cool
( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

arf

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

*psst*
typo
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

It's phonetic.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:12, archived)

fare enuff mait

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

oh come on, don't be so tough on yourself
it wasn't that bad
( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

YOUR MUM LOL!
No, but seriously. Maybe watch a film? Listen to a CD that you haven't heard in a while and read a good book?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 15 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

I'm going to watch Rambo whilst listening to the Rambo soundtrack CD and reading a good book about Rambo
thanks.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

you should read some Rimbaud at the same time too
( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

Shhhh
that's what I really had planned. Maybe some skipping and flower arranging too.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

easy on the skipping there, perhaps it would be better to create a ballet based on your response to skipping, flowers, Rimbaud, and Sylvester Stallone's bone-crunching cinema of aggression
( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

Rambo gay porn
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

Go commando while watching Commando.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

Not all at the same time, silly.
That'd be daft.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

You calling Rambo daft?
EH? EH?
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:12, archived)

Yes. Yes I am.
Especially the newest one.


Actually, I've not seen any of the Rambo films. Are they as good as Demolition Man?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

First Blood Part One
is a staggering cinematical opus unsurpassed in its complexity, ambition and broadness of scope. Plus he gets proper mental stabby.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:23, archived)

...no ballet then?
( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:25, archived)

I'm wearing a tutu
and pretending to jump down from a tree then slit someone's throat.

I can't see where this is going, to be honest.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:29, archived)

I think your bandana may have slipped down over your eyes
( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:30, archived)

Does he wear a bandana in the film?
This could be a factor in my watching of this film.


I think this maybe the end of this sub-thread. Everyone's reading that one up there ^.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:36, archived)

There's never enough ballet in films nowadays.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:30, archived)

my flatmate just told me he really fancies asher roth.
WTF?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

I do too.
Total hottie.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 16 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

i suppose, statistically speaking,
it was inevitable that some girl somewhere would be in to that sort of thing.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

WoW player then?

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

oh
wait...
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

whut?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

www.wowwiki.com/Azeroth
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

Oh, was this some kind of comedy misunderstanding?
Haha!
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:33, archived)

No...
yes :(
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:32, archived)

for christ's sake, will you two just shag and get it over with?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

Way ahead of you.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:29, archived)

I might go to bed now
I don't plan on touching my winky but if I do I'll be thinking about you two puffs having gruntyfumbles
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:32, archived)

Struggle snuggles.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:33, archived)

What?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:33, archived)

You don't need to know about it.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:34, archived)

I'm getting a lock for my bedroom door.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:39, archived)

shove something up yourself

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:23, archived)

WILL CARRY OUT
OVER.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:26, archived)

ROGER!

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:34, archived)

Good news London based B3tans!
I'll be in Koko tomorrow evening. Come and see me, I'm fantastic!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

What about the several thousand b3tans that aren't London based?
What are we to do, fucknose?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

I'll come and visit you all at some point!
so...DON'T PANIC!

unless you live in Stoke, I'm not going to Stoke again.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

how about the rest of us
you selfish cunt!
( jenpots, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

Aslong as you're not in Stoke,
there's a chance I'll visit your town/city/dwelling.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Come to Rossendale.
Tomorrow.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

Rossendale doesn't appear to be all that far from Halifax.
I'm planning to go to Halifax later on this year, to see football at the shay. SO, there's a very real possibility I could stop at Rossendale. LUCKY YOU!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

Oh yes!
It's not all that far.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

Candlelit meal? Soft music? Italian food?
You're so lucky!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

And dessert?

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Rigorous anal sex.
...
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

I was suggesting Tiramisu
But OK.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

...and Tirmasu is a euphemism for?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

I'm not sure, but it sounds Japanese.
In which case I daren't think.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

Unless you're driving, the connections between the two are poor.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

do the connections between stations improve
if The Doveston is driving? how does that work?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

Well if he's driving, he won't have to worry about connections at all.
And besides, unless you're talking about buses, there aren't any stations in Rossendale.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

well obviously if he's driving, he won't have to worry about the connections,
but surely the connections are the same regardless of whether or not he is driving?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

Yeah, well I like eggy cup.
So there.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

try not to talk like an idiot in the future.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

I apologise for any offence caused.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

Shut up.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

Why are you so grumpy?
I only want to be your friend :(
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

:( :( :( :( :( :(

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

you've lost me there, sorry, no offence
great
( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

Shan't

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

Pity I'm not on london.
Oh well.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

Oh The Doveston! I would love to come and see you in Koko tomorrow evening,
however I have plans. Firstly I will be rummaging through my flatmate's underwear drawer (he is going away this weekend) and then masturbating into the best pants I can find.
Then I will be hiding no less than three seperate poos, of my own making, in various places in his room, possibly using cellotape.
Then I will be taking a nap, and maybe having a cup of tea.
As you can see, The Doveston, my day is pretty full already, but thank you for the invitation!
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

I've already shit in your bed.
That's not a dark ale you're drinking either.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

the security guard recommended this ale.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

It was a ploy to encourage you to buy a planted bottle of Theakstons.
Premeditated etc etc...poo beer
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

nut brown

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:42, archived)

nut
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

i always struggle to make plans, it appears you don't, no offence
good greatness
( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

i just though up a joke, what do you do if your wife is bleeding from 2 holes? shoot her again
no offence

great
( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

*applauds*

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Golly gosh!
:O
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Good news Bristol-based b3tans!
I'll be in the ASS library tomorrow evening!
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 15 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

+taking it in up
library
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

I know you leave these for strikethrough.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

Well I'm such an incorrigible slag.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 15 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

Well exactly.
Terrible business.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

Good news Northampton based B3tans!
I'm going to be doing a shit in a minute.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

going to be doing a
in a minute
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

Are you?

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

Youn are.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:42, archived)

Stick it on twitter.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

Or start your own toilet based updates.
Named...


*drumroll*

SHITTER
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

I'm not in London this weekend.
How would you, The Doveston, suggest I go about fixing this problem?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 15 May 2009, 23:42, archived)

I'll take lots of pictures and make them into a powerpoint presentation
of how the evening went. It'll be as if you were there with me!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

I'll set an evening aside next week
so I can enjoy this wonderful gift to its fullest!
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 15 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

I often find it difficult to express in words how little I care about what people say here
I might go for a shit now
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Shit your feelings out, Frank

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

Feelings mutual...
nah, I'm kidding, you're a gem, don't change.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

You do them purty werds reel eezy franks

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 15 May 2009, 23:57, archived)