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Come on then
who wants a fight?

Or you could ask me a question and I'll do my best to answer it.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

Can you make a good cup of tea?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

Nobody can, except me.
Everybody else does it wrong.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

Yes.
Incredible tea.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

What's that over there?
*points*
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

It would appear to be the milkman spooging all over your ma's fanny hole

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

You freaky cunt
The milkman just knocked here as well.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

You should probably see how your ma is...

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

She's up a ladder in the garden, dancing
Mental spastic.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

What's my profession?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

Personal Trainer

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

Actually, discounting Hubare.
7 people know my job on here.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

Are you a bullying counselor?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

One person actually GAZ'ed me one night and figured it out from looking at my profile.
Somebody will probably shout XBOX, shortly.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

you've done quite a bit of travelling,
do you work for the FCO?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

and the data sale logo on the photograph
SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT
(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

Handsome Gav is government. Not me.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

Running the BBC is government work, surely?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 28 May 2009, 17:14, archived)

Something to do with the oil industry?

(

Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Thu 28 May 2009, 17:06, archived)

Professional Dole

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

Pit pony
Ferret tickler
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

Dolebaldiman

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

nm
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

His nan's bald as well?

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

mam
He lives with his mam, remember.

Mam is northern for mum
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:13, archived)

Aye, I just got the strikethrough mixed up and thought it said +n :(
I know what mam means - I'm a filthy Northener meself!
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:20, archived)

Hang on, that doesn't make any sense

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:14, archived)

Head of Light Entertainment at the BBC
incorporating Head of Programming at JMGTV
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

Collector of Shiny Things

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

Bitchfinder General

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

Toupee retailer.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

Oberbereichsleiter

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

Traffic Warden

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Fat Fighter

(

thealternativefact, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Director of Football

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Best Boy

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Stoat wrangler

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Key Grip

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

Brown Note singer

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

lollipop man

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

Mumumumumah !
I won't tell you that I love you
Kiss or hug you
Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

Fabulous

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

Not really, I'm pretty sure you'd beat me.
Do you prefer sexy knickers, plain innocent cotton knickers or no knickers?

I don't know why that's the first question I asked. I have no sexual feelings for you, BS.

Picalilli- good or bad?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

I vote for you and her fighting
in knickers.

On You Tube.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

Yes but WHAT KIND OF KNICKERS?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

ahem
french knickers are the best knickers.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

Do they fall down at the first sign of war ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

they smell of garlic and do not care what you think.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

I like them too. Comfiness.
Although I'm a fan of briefs.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

I tend to wear cotton girlie boxers
when I'm not going commando.

Also, picalilli is pretty awesome. I'm all for flourescent food.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

I like it under cheese on cheese on toast.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

Do you ever find bits of poo
in your trousers when going commando ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

Only yours.

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Nope never.
I can control my bowels thank you.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Not even skids ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

Nope.
Now stop wanking.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

I think I'm going to puke.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

That's nice love

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

Seriously?
Have some coffee, it's an anti emetic.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

Not for me it isn't :(
I wish I could drink coffee. I'm getting sick of Red Bull
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

You just need to have more of it.
Eat a jar of kenco.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

It would be fun
I'd probably lose a stone or two, which, being internet, I could do with doing.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

There's no coffee in the house on account of it tasting like shit.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Fine, vom all over your cock then, ungrateful mcstupidtastebuds.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

why would I aim for my cock?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

Down, innit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

how can no coffee taste like anything?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

I'd ping your bra and make sonic booms and then place you on a shelf

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

Thanks!

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

no problems doodle-bean :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

What is the population of Peru and name them.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

Four
Paddington Bear. They cloned him.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

What was the last album you recently found and loved?
/genuine
(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

Matter and Form, VNV Nation

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

/puts the top hits on spotify
AWAIT VERDICT.
(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

sorry, not my cup of tea.
All well and good though.
(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

It's a nice album
But though my music taste isn't everybody's cuppa tea, a lot of people listen and go 'ooh, I like that!'.

/goff
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

Hmmm.
That's quite tough. I like the White Lies album at the moment. Don't love it as much as The Queen is Dead or Leaders of The Free World. Not yet, anyway.

Ooh, the Santogold album is great too.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

I see, I'll have a listen to this youf music :)

(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

Don't, don't you want me?

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

Not right now.
ktxb
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

How many loaves could a GMOS shit
if a GMOS could shit loaves ?

(Of Fear)
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

79

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

I'd like to have a proper fight
not with someone I like though, I'd like to do some damage.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

Fight a child
they're crap.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

Have a fight with me
this would consist of me holding your forehead in the palm of my hand while your little arms flailed ineffectually until you collapsed of exhaustion.

At which point I'd cop a quick feel and leave.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

I'd hoof you in the nads.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

I bet you £5 your legs are shorter than my arms.
Therefore this would not be possible.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

If your name's Clive that's cheating.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Meanie.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

You can fight me on Saturday if you are coming to the bash
You don't know me so there will be no issues of liking me to worry about.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

Ever been to a Weatherspoons?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

all the time
but I'm not usually antisocial enough to warrant a kicking.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

I've been flounced at on MSN.
No question.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

Should I get one, two or three chinchillas?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

2.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

Three
and make them fight to the death.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

o_O
I couldn't do that, they are all fluff and aww
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

This is the kind of heartless evil I advocate.
Do you see? Bwah ha ha ha ha ha
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

hey hey mrs blue (staaaar)
we're so pleased to be with you (aaah)
look around see what you doo (bloooo)
everybody smiles at you

i'll fucking fight you, you fuck
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

:D
Come on then. OUTSIDE NOW
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

i have a heart condition
if you hit me, it will be murder
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

"Poker Face" just came on the radio
It's WITCHCRAFT !

Actually it should be written thusly :

Lady GaGa, Poker Face ?

Yes, I dont mind if I do...
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

img8.imageshack.us/img8/8342/gmosbike.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

Now I'm here too.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

*Punches the sky*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

img20.imageshack.us/img20/8342/gmosbike.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

now I'm here too!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

I like this one.
img20.imageshack.us/img20/5208/gmosbikeq.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

gmosapproves
YES
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

I have bajillions of GMoS images somewhere about my PC.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

we all do
GMoS comes pre-loaded onto every computer.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

Waiter, waiter! There's a GMoS in my soup!
You lucky cunt sir.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

*backstrokes*

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

RAD !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

When i hear that song i replace poker face with sex face

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

When I read "QOTW"
I think - Putting the "lie" into "Online"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

Yep, with my elbow, at quite some speed.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

Clickin dis

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

that's just your seduction technique

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

Brace yourself, love.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

I was actually tempted to look behind me then

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

You'd have felt the ground shudder.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

Would that be the sonic boom from the speed of your elbow?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

WHA-PAH

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

cos you is well fat

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

More of me to love, baby.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

bigger target

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:36, archived)

Get most of it in my bellybutton and win this cuddly cthulu.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

I thought that was your vadge

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

You'd be forgiven for thinking that
the hair's thicker around my gloriously large and pulsating vagina.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

sweet christ

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

Wom wom wom wom.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

I'm equally scared and aroused.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

It can smell your fear.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

it's quite pungent itself.
I wish it would stop winking at me.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

It's located your position.
RUN
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

*FLEES*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

that's not hair,
it's a fungus
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

You shouldn't keep me in a well, it's not good for me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

Everyone on here is fat
I personally have 15 indian children sheltering in the rolls on my belly.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

I am one of those children

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

milky time!
MILKY TIME I SAID.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

Must you say it whilst stroking your right nipple and leering?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

sorry. I'll use my left.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:43, archived)

Make it come out green.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

om nom nom

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

I genuinely don't think I've heard that song
other than just snippets on TV shows.

/Blue Star Fact #60374
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

I've not heard all of it.
I don't care though. She can fuck RIGHT off.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

How many Blue Star facts are there?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

3

(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

Far too many.
www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=blue+star+fact
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

a ou
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

Pfft
alright, you shithouse?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

I see there are at least 87653657
If you were a class definition that would be a lot of properties to declare
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

Yeah
probably
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

What I'd really love
is a big photo of GMOS, getting some air over gnarly terrain, holding onto his bike with one hand and doing the devil horns with the other.

Also he's belming and has a visible erection.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

Hold on.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

*holds on*
I'd also like a photo of Lady GaGa, naked, legs akimbo, revealing a fanny that looks just like a Pelican screaming.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

pfft :D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

Ha!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

~~scream~~ cross
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

Replete with ALL FOUR Beatles

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

she's already had a lot more than 4 beetles in her fanny as it is
and they were Volkswagens
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

Air cooled?

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

I quite like her minge & tits
/ac
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

Has she actually got them proper out then ?
ONLINE ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

I have no idea
But I'm not changing my mind now.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

Removing the watermark spoiled everything.
img7.imageshack.us/img7/8342/gmosbike.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

hahaha!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

Needs more boner

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

I'd like that too.
It'd go on the wall in the bathroom.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

I have a picture of smug bastard on my fridge,
it's aspirational.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

Hahaha, really?
I've got some happytoast stuff and a mario magnet courtesy of The Neville on mine.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

Yep truefact, I also have a picture of Obama looking silly getting up from a chair in the bathroom.
That's "satirical"
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

I've got a smear of tomato purée on mine.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

Eww
Clean your fridge
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

Are you saving it for later?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

I've written 'Lick in case of emergency" below it in chocolate smears.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

You think of everything.
You're like an indoor Ray Mears.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

Ray Mears is like the GMoS of TV.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

GMoS is like the Bruce Campbell of going along vertically.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

somebody at some point today must have posted
etc
(likeajackhammer, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

how did you know I was doing that?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Just forum banter really

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

winfestival!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

WINterlude

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

WINdmill?

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

Cor!
This is what I'm hoping for for World GMoS Day.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

I'm hoping for a personal visit like at the end of Love Actually
he can come and sing me a Christmas carol.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

I've never seen Love Actually.
I win.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Me neither
so it's a tie.

Though I have never seen Titanic either so I may edge it...
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

I have seen Titanic
against my will though. Balls. I hate you.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

I have seen titanic
but in my defence I was about 12 and that's what you do when you're that age.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

What did people do before Titanic was made?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

Heroin

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

Went to the cinema and just stood there for almost 4 hours.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

I really like it....

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

when is World GMoS Day?
I need to know when to polish my boobies especially for it.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

It's tomorrow.
I need to polish mine as well. Could take a while....
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

Ladies
why tire yourselves.

I will polish all four boobies.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

I'm sure FF could help

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

tomorrow

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

I'll practice my goose-like honking too.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

good job!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

now that's what i call technical

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

I hear that when GMOS comes
he makes a sound like a flock of Canada Geese.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

it's true
I start frothing from the mouth and go into a frenzy.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

When GMOS comes, medieval flags roll down from the wall saying 'YE COMETH LOTS HAROO!'
It doesn't matter where he is, even at the bus stop.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

I hear the last woman he shagged
grew lush, green grass on her buttocks after he'd jizzed up her.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

hahaha!
we call her Mossy Meg nowadays
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

stop it
I'm quietly shaking with laughter at work
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

It's not laughter
it's GMOS-lust.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

That's nothing, you should see the trumpeting cherubs when he does a shit...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

It is law that Gmos gets to use the central uniral in any gents

(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

it's the HAROO that makes it.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

every spurt gets a fanfare.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

Each sperm that comes out
lets out a cry akin to a thousand tenor voices shouting "HAIL"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

when I say I'm practicing safe sex, myself and the lady are both wearing ear protectors

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

damn my lack of photoshop, i'd love to go all out to celebrate GMOS day

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

go come
~~all~~
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

that i can do
i might even bum a bloke
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

and why not!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

I want one of GMOS holding Bear Grylls' lifeless body aloft after destroying him in unarmed combat

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

"Lady GaGa".
I've found her two popular chart hits to be catchy and not as annoying as I'd usually find music of this genre.
How are you fatties worried for your well being this afternoon?

Feel free to cry at me or the MODS.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

She annoys me. Put some fucking clothes on.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

It's a case of
"I'm actually quite a moosey faced cunt, OMG LOOK AT MY TIT AND FANNY AREAS"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

YES.
If only I were thin.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

she's unpleasant looking and unpleasant sounding
personal opinion you must understand.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

I'd still fuck her
out of badness
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

badness is an acceptable reason.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

It's also a good way
of determining if she is a yelper.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

She makes a sound like a french horn when she comes

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Dont we all ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

I scream like a hawk

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

I sound like that bit of tuba from Neighbours that was always played after Harold was made to feel bit of an oaf.
BUH BUH BUH B-B-B-B-BUH...BUUUHHHHHH
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

I am aware of her existance
I have never listened to he music.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

I had poker face stuck in my head
all round Afan in April.

I do find it to be a decent pop song.

She's a fucking dog though.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

She wears sunglasses all the time because she's got a massive snuffler.
It looks like a baby's arm with nostrils.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

I heard she has vaginas instead of eyes

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

She queefs when she squints

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

She has ear anuses too
so when she blows her nose, shit comes out the side of her head.

Imagine that.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

one week every month, blood drips down her face

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Big noses are good.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

true, but hers does go a bit too far with the face size to nose ratio.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

mine's still growing, or at least, it appears to be.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

What new glasses did you buy in the end?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

retro-y tortoiseshell ones.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Funky

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

I hope so.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

It's all in your mind, it looks perfect.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

Pfffffffft
I'm going to end up looking like my mum, they designed concorde with her in mind.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

That's some party trick

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

I'm fat
of course I'm worried, I'm shunned by everyone. Being fat is like having the bad AIDS in the eighties.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

you need to boogie more

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

don't blame it on the sunshine
don't blame it on the moonlight
don't blame it on the good times
blame in on jam master geordie
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

well I have to
I can't blame myself. Everyone knows that being fat isn't the fatty's fault.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

spotty internet justice is served!
*capes*
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

My 4 year old is really in love with Lady Gaga

(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Also TMI PERSONAL QUESTION TIME
Can multi vitamins turn your wee bright yellow? I've been a bit run down lately and my diets been shit so I've been taking wellwoman multi vitamins and my wee looks like it could be radioactive.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

are you drinking enough water?
Regards

Internet hero, GMOS
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

possibly not but I shall now.
Thank you Internet hero GMOS
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

however, I wouldn't discount the possibility it's the vitamins

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

Didn't you have a kidney infection recently?
I'd get that checked, pet. Sounds like they're not filtering properly.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

If they contain Beta Carrotene
yes
(

Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

Jammy it's world GMOS day tomorrow
I'm celebrating by riding a bike down steep hills and then climbing rocks and eating barbecued food in a sunken quarry on the cusp.

Then I'm drinking booze in a pub.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

*stamps approval upon GMOS*
GMOS is my new hero.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

the first 10 people to send me their addresses will get a cut out and keep gmos.
(this may not actually happen, please don't send me your addresses)
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Can we post a lot of images of GMOS on /board until people cry?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

I'm relying on it!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

I'M WELL PREPARED.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

I'm setting fire to a homeless shelter in celebration.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

CRUEL IRONY WIN!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

I'm going to score TOO MANY goals at football.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

I'm watching Ideal
ppssyyccchhooo paaauuullll
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

i think i'll go home soon
but not home out with the lads, curry night after the pub, imagine that, my treat too as it's payday, blimey, great stuff
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

She has a fucking ugly face.
And leaves false eyelashes on the bedside tables of people she fucks.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

FACT
www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/Lady+Gaga-26418.html
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

Urgh, skanky bitch.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Yep.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

at least it's not like she's leaving crabs as a keepsake
'when you scratch your crotch think of me, love Lady Gaga'
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

That's just not been reported yet.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

haters
I like Lady Gaga and think she's attractive. Far more so than most of the pop stars here.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

I just want her to put some kecks on.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

She probably does that too, to be fair.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

HAHAH YES
www.femalefirst.co.uk/lifestyle-fashion/stylebeauty/Jodie+Marsh-8690.html
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

She is horrendous looking.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

I leave a fist full of chest hair and a claw hammer

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

I'm reading about brain damage,
and some of it sounds a bit like me.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

Link?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

www.smithsrisca.demon.co.uk/frontal-lobe-syndrome.html
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

Also JMG should appreciate this
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witzelsucht

QOTW in a nutshell?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

i'm good, jmg
my cold seems to be abating after a thoroughly manly day and a half. i missed football though :(
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

She's originally Irish
Queen sang a song about her before she changed her name.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

I think she's part of an assessment.
By aliens.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

very well mr JMG
The Eels have a new album out. It currently getting streamed over on myspace

www.myspace.com/eels
(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

She's like a whiter, more omgrageous
shitter Grace Jones.

I'm alone in my office now as everyone else has fucked off.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

Naked time.
Sit on other people's chairs and fart lots.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Oh Lord no.
What if someone came in?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Two choices.
Apologise, or wink.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

then you'd have a story for /qotw

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

She's playing Glastonbury
I'm going to Glastonbury,
I may watch her at Glastonbury,
Glastonbury
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Poker face
Her voice annoys me, but its very Catchy and I'd love to shag her. Reminds me of how I became a fan of Girls Aloud
(rambosilk Liberty for wolves is death to the lambs., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Ohhhh there's lots of fail here.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Haha

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

I quite like her minge & tits

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

Would you still shag Dolly Parton?
I would, great norks!
(rambosilk Liberty for wolves is death to the lambs., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Yer, Austin.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

I wouldn't even have done it with her back in her day.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Oh I would
but the one woman worth inventing time travel to fuck would have to be a 1978 vintage Debbie Harry.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

^this
Ditto for Jenny Agutter
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

Same decade
but make it Pam Grier.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

~~Grier~~ Ayres
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

Pffft

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

*Zommerzet accent*
Alrooit thaar moi lovver?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

~~ebbie~~ irty
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

*ticks*

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

That's because you'd have been a tiny baby.
But imagine it anyway.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

Where can I find more of this kind of talent and humour?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

OMG B45H !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

Im here all week!
: )
(rambosilk Liberty for wolves is death to the lambs., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

Should I try the veal ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

I want to know more about kersals fanny

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

I heard it opens sideways.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

Hippos
yawn
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

I heard it looks like a horse shoe change purse.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

so do i, and i with for wormulus to tell us all about it
is it shaved? that sort of thing
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

Photos
or it didnt happen
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

It's got orthodox sideburn curls

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

idiot

(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything fatty.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

I bet they arent
I bet they are baggy-skinned hideous marrow style things.

With little pugs faces instead of nipples.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

cor
*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop-ding* Captain *beep* errection achieved *beep* that's a big 10-4 space camp 5 *beep*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

No, but I would be friends with her
she seems like a lovely lady.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

dolly who?
man, i love that joke
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

no Dr Pepper you just said it

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Wouldn't touch her with yours.
I only go for Tesco employees now.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

What's your favourite flavour of jew ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

I fear the fat response.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Lard and ale jew ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

TJ:
Has Friz been banned?
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

an o
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

I'd doubt it.
Why?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

His name = his user number.
www.b3ta.com/links/320162

I think that's what happens when you get banned.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

He is a chubby fucker isn't he.

(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

He looks like a whippet compared to most /talkers

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'm a sexual pipe-cleaner

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

I'm more of a bulky toilet brush

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

I thought that was me.
b3ta.com/talk/5660088
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I'm of fairly athletic build

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I'm incredibly fit and made of sexy.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Come on Agent Hysteria
any other online detection that you want to share?
(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

Maybe he can look in to my dole.
Don't argue with the facts, mind.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

My contact in the dole office tells me that you've been claiming.
Twice.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

UNDENIBALE INTERNET TRUTH!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

You have a REPEAT payment.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

You know something about this, don't you?

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

He was only posting on /links earlier this week, so I doubt it.

(

FoldsFive, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Leave it alone.

(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

I hear it drops off if you play with it too much

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

*snort*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

He's probably busy selling his 'cracker tracker' mortgages

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

Orange Jews

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

\o/

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

I know
*hangs head in shame*
you going Saturday?
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

Of course I bloody am!
You're coming now, right?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

sadly not, will be required elsewhere from tomorrow
for most of the weekend probably
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

:-(
I am doing proper sadface.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

aye, it's a p*sser, was looking forward to it
have a non-alcoholic beverage for me :)
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I most certainly shall
being as I shall most likely be the ONLY SOBER PERSON THERE NOW.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

isn't God Save The Queen going?
he's also a teetotaller.
Have a good one though :)
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

I yam
Haven't been drunk in over 4 years :D
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

it's just a shade over 2 years for me now, also same with caffiene
I miss a 'decent' cup of tea/coffee more than I do alcohol.
Any particular reason you gave up?
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

I drank a full bottle of absinthe one evening, it kind of put me off alcohol for a few months.
Then I hada car accident and I wasn't allowed to drink with the pills I was on for about a year. I haven't really had any since, maybe 4 pints in total over the last 3 years.

I sometimes have caffeine, normally when I visit friends as the only drinks they have to offer are diet coke.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

He'll be off his head on tannins....

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

haha :)

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Gonz

(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

he's my favourite Jew too.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

no wait
there are lots of orthodox jews near here. They all seem to be fiercely ginger. They're my favourite.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Mountain

(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

Star Bar of David

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

Haha!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Kersal

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

She ate a lot of pickled shellfish
I doubt you'd want to taste her.
(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

hold on who deleted the fanny eating comment?

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I noticed that :D
She had a fishy fanny or something :D
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

Sexface is up to his tricks

(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

Me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

*tastes*
*has restraining order slapped on him*
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'm delicious.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

Your hair tasted of vanilla

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

Strangely, I am using vanilla conditioner, you strange psychic person.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

The obvious answer is that I don't really exist

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

this seems like it could be anti semetic, not really my thing

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

Just forum banter really
I wouldnt want to exterminate anyone.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

A delicious can of Mountain HeBrew

(

FoldsFive, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

Messianic

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

Hedgehog

(

Monty Propps, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

acidic

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Greg McManus - Youtube legend!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o07QP-OURwA

Like what you see, type Greg McManus into Youtube and enjoy!
(rambosilk Liberty for wolves is death to the lambs., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

:(

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

I don't want to click this, JMG.

(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

I haven't, myself.
I'm usually setting the codes of conduct around here.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I'm not going to click it.

(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

legend....
post your linky poos here dude www.b3ta.com/links/

/talk is for the funny bitter folk.

EDIT: and AWESOME PEOPLE. that better?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

And me

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

And the occasional unfunny nice person.
Howdy.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I'd better leave then :(

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

No.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

and jenpotses
*waves*

edit: yes.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

www.b3ta.com/links/
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

LYNX DEWD

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

how far in is the good bit?

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

You want
www.b3ta.com/itsoktopostthissortofthingifyouareinaregisteredcliquebutnotifyouarenewwejustwontallowit
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

Who else posts their own videos on here?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

only on the credit card only site.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

Pfft

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=youtube.com
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

wait, i misread your question
*belms at self*
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

lack of horses
C-
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Fucking hell
This board is for NSFW links only
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

alright rambosilk

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

Sorry!!
Fuck me, sorry!

Its on the links now!
(rambosilk Liberty for wolves is death to the lambs., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

It begins again
www.b3ta.com/questions/unexpectednudity/post433630
(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

I'm on it.
I'm also ONLINE.
Cue hysteria and fat wobbling.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/ohhhhhhjmg.jpg
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

That's going in to the collection.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

*gobbles 12billionty pies*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Fuck me.
Ian Dowie. That's a cum face you'd only see in the depths of your worst nightmare.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Old king dole !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

*Gentle applause*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Baaaaaaald in the USA, I was BAAAAAAAAAAALD in the USA

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

When I WAS in the USA I was generally championed by all.
They were between Presidents. I was almost sworn in under public pressure.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Sometimes I like QOTW
it makes me feel less like a prat.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Yo.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Sup.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

hehe
this.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Cheers,
At Least Two Legs At Any Given Time.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Or maybe I could double space everything

Every single sentence.

Even when it's not a new paragraph or anything.

SpankyMcHanky
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

They're an odd bunch.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I'm reading about people with brain damage.
It's quite funny.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

Do they never learn? :(
"breasts a-pert and legs a-kimber" who actually speaks like that? Nobody, that's who.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

that and the use of the word 'whimsy' assures me that this is all the work of a feverish imagination

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

A handful of Viz readers comments for your amusement:
Yesterday I received an e-mail from a bored housewife looking for some action. Eager to please the young lady I sent her my ironing. That should keep her quiet for a while.
Warren

Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.
Colum Hill

If the failed 21/7 bombers had just waited three more days, we'd all be calling them the 24/7 bombers. This would imply that they blow things up all day every day and, despite their actual lack of success, make them at least sound like they were good at bombing.
Christina Martin, London
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

*chortles*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

laughing at your own post, eh?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Laughing at what i find amusing?
Yes, yes i am.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I chortled at the last one.

(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

What a con these so called conmen are, the other day I was completely conned by one of them !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

My neighbor likes to sunbathe naked. She was out there lying on her stomach the other day
and I patiently waited for her to roll over but to no avail. Needless to say, I didnt see the fanny side.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I bought a lovely can of sugary, orange flavoured drink in an Essex Village
No offence, just Boreham Fanta.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

I lolled

(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

...fucking hell

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

you read Viz

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

harry enfield used to write alot of the letters in viz

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

I think this might sadden me

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

sorry mykey, they are not all sent in by readers
and the letters in club/mayfair used to be written by my mate james, not a hot horny 18 year old blonde stunner
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

Next you'll tell me the easter bunny isnt real:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Ricky Gervaise used to read a lot of them, if his stand up is anything to go by.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I lol'd.
I always enjoyed the culmination of the months of 'if you sit on your hand...' jokes -

"If you sit on your cornflakes until they go numb it will feel like you are eating someone elses breakfast"
(thediscokingpin, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

My recent fave:
Why is everyone getting excited about america having a black president? Zimbabwe has had one for years and he's shit.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Answer me this:
Is Cambridge a nice place to go to for a couple of nights?

I will be forever in your debt. Thanks.
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

YES!!
(I have never been to Cambridge)
(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Why did you say yes then?
:(
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Just forum banter
no offense.
(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

I see.
Forum banter. I'll remember this.
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Very pretty.
But very expensive and very full of tourists.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Well. It's alright. I guess.
I mean, there's a couple of things to do. It's not mega exciting by any means but it's a nice enough place.
(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

I've not really had a night out in Cambridge so I wouldn't know.

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Just thinking of going away for a couple of days, somewhere not too far from London, and there are
"secret 4 star hotels" there on lastminute.com and i was curious. Thank you.
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

what's so secret about them?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

They don't tell you the
actual hotel until you book. Seems strange, but there are some good deals.
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

how queer

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

Go here
www.crazybeargroup.co.uk/oxford/index.html
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

Nice, ta.
I like the idea of a bath at the end of my bed too.
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Fantastic place, good food, very intimate
perfect for a dirty weekend.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Ticks all
~~our~~ my boxes.
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Oh and they have 50% off offers...

(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

Ask CHB to the directions to the strip club.
The girls there do cartwheels with candles lit in their mooies.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

i'm not happy with girlparts being named after moohalaa

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

Horizontal Chimp?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

yeah, i've seen you use that before
it's an odd'n
YOU'RE an odd'n
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

Mooie
What a lovely word, tho I had always heard it used as a slang term for "mouth" before and I feel sure these cartwheeling strippers are more likely to have candles up their cuntholes.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

i'm not being drawn into this, it might all get a bit lively and heated

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

*draws you in*

(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Yes
I really enjoyed it there.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

Yes, but bring plenty of asbestos.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

I don't fucking well know.
/hostile
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

Have you had a rather large bite of my
bad mood burger? *grumps*
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

I managed to fit the whole thing in my massive fucking trap, Jobe.
not really. Just fancied being a bit nasty and horrid, ONLINE.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

Well then, I shall have an appropriate ONLINE reaction.
*flounces*
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

Oh Jobe.
Come back. I think you're lovely. I wasn't really in a bad mood.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Well I am. In-your-happy-face.
:(
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

*resurrects* I am the Ghost of CUTE! AWW KYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!! *strokes head like a bunny* KYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT :3
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

she prefers pats to strokes, just FYI

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

FUCK OFF

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

BLOOOOSTAARRRRR!
*patpatpatpat*
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

SHUSH IT UP

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Yeah, sure, why not.
Oh, I found a lovely photo of an otter yesterdy, and meant to keep it for you, but I ran crap cleaner and it's gone:(
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

It couldn't have been as nice as you say then.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

It was LOVELY.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

did crap cleaner also delete itself?
it sounds like it ought to have done.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

I forgot to untick temp internet files:(

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Oh that's a shame.

(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

I can only tell you it's nice to go for the day.
Especially if you have an enormous border collie to take on a punt.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Thanks.
I don't have an enormous border collie. I don't have any type of dog for that matter.
(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

you could borrow ours
www.glastonbridge.co.uk/img/al-rubble-cam-00.jpg
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

I've been to Oxford and it was very nice
I hear they're much the same.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

yeah,
all these University sorts.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

old
university
bicycles
expensive
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

Oxford would be lovely
if it weren't for people from Oxford, who seem to be invariably cunts.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

I've been to both
and I can say without any bias that Oxford is far superior.
(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

Cambridge is a lovely place, nay, smashing even

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

It would take a man with a heart of stone to look at Cambridge and not think "Why the hell didn't they build it three inches to the left?"
/That poofter out of python what got cancer for laughing at God.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

No
It's a shithole
(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

it's a nice place to mill around for a day
if i was going to make a weekend of it i think i'd go through the local what's on guides and find something specific to do
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

oh, there's this next weekend
www.strawberry-fair.org.uk/
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

Milling arund is top of the to do list for going away for a couple of days.

(

Jobe, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

I went there fucking ages ago
and went into some buldings and some shops.

It's OK, but there are a lot of posh cunts.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

A mong just asked me out
I don't really think he understands what he was saying.

Oh dear what will I do? I said yes just becuase I didn't want to be cruel.
(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

But but...but I LIEK GNYUU :'(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

Dr P must have posted

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

Stand him up obviously.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

This type of thread is shit.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

They kind of have to be done though
it's a tradition
(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

i disagree, this is comedy and the reason why we should, no must be allowed to keep second accounts

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

*puts a jihad on you*

(likeajackhammer, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

what would you rather have
1, a boring blog about some dullards day ending with a pointless question?
or
2 a sometimes humourous post using a comedy account?
3, fooooooooooOooooooooOOOOoooOOOooOOoOoOoOOoood?
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

your logic is swaying me...
but it is a bit

"I'M HORRIBLE,.... but I'm not as bad as Hitler!"
(likeajackhammer, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

bark!
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

POLICE DOG!
*patpatpatpat*
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

nobody ever patth me.

(igor, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

EEEGOR!
*patpatpatpat*
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

thankyou thir.
would you like me to thew on a tail to wag, thir?
(igor, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

seems like a good idea to me

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

yay!

(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

good dog

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

I was under the impression it was witty and original, and not at all done-right-to-fucking-death

(likeajackhammer, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

needs more pun threads, you're great at those :)

Doctor's Songbook:

Supositories A Jolly Good Fellow
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

e o +Through
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

I know someone whose getting pre-licked stickers for their 1 week anniversary :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

?_?
I just felt sorry for it's funny shaped head.
(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

Best thing I saw was a mong headbutt a random girl in the gutt with excitement
They were sitting down at the time.

He had a day-glo Whipsnade wallet around his neck.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

I had a mong grab my hair at work once.
The café I work at has an oddly high proportion of mongs for customers.
(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

could be a laugh.
you never know, you might have more in common than you'd think.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

if he asked you out, it's a certain bet he didn't understand what he was saying

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

tesco value comedy

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

sainsbury's basics would be better...
they come with little taglines, like:

instant mash - not as white, still alright
(likeajackhammer, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

Saisnbury's BASICS comedy
marginally better than cancer
(likeajackhammer, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

hey, that's the tagline of my slack nationalist movement
coming over here, stealing our glib phrases...
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

You know what?
All women are whores. They could go out with me, a nice guy, but no, they go out with jerks who hurt them. God.
*cries into wotsits*
(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

I'm nice to women, this entitles me to vagina.

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

Are you this guy?
www.b3ta.com/talk/6180436
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

WOMEN ARE WHORES

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

*raises eyebrow*

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

wimmin are mental.
The End.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

:U

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

B^U

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

BEEHATCHU

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

Maybe he just felt sorry for you...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

Round up the lynch mob, lads. We've got us a peeeeedo.
blog.taragana.com/index.php/archive/teen-girl-facing-child-pornography-charges-over-nude-photos/
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

string them up

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

zero tolerance, i say
she might have the body of a teenage girl, but she has the cold black heart of a 50-something trucker
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

That is fucking ridiculous.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

I don't get it
where are the photos?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

I have just been to Tesco.
I asked the pretty girl behind the checkout who has been flirting with me for the last month or so out for a drink tonight.

What is the last thing you did totally on a whim?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

what did she say?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

The lady from Tesco, she say yes!

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Hurrah!
Was she wearing the old skool uniform or the new casual one?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

why would she be wearing her old school uniform?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

She was wearing the blue checked shirt one.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Superb
She's a keeper
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

I think so.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

Tesco staff don't wear school uniforms.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

Well done
don't be to nervous, but your entire future happiness depends on those drinks.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

Thanks for the encouraging words!
No pressure now!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Result!

(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Tesco value girlfriend!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

smashing

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

I really hope she hasn't dyed her pubes blue and white :S

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

Tesco Value Brazillian.
It is just a normal untrimmed muff.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

and the sauce is a bit more watery

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

Mmmm,
17p beans and 7p noodles.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

Christ.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

I love going too far >:D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

I really hope she has.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

top marks to you sir
you are an example to internet-kind
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

Just goes to prove not all people on the internet are sweaty awkward types.
So come on people, ask out a girl from Tesco!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Ask out a girl! Are you mad?!
I couldn't manage that when I was blind drunk
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

let's all go to tescos, where Anthropos buys his best clothes
la la la la
la la la la
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

Oh Mongy, you have sussed me out.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

sound advice, but it's going to be a while before they let you on radio four's thought for the day

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

That is very true

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

My mate did that
and now they live together.

Bought something, probably.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

What, with the same girl from Tesco?
Blimey.
(

FoldsFive, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

She gets around.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

i've been waiting for you
last 2000ad lbp character

and it's not judge death
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

Good afternoon.
Interesting choice.
(

FoldsFive, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

could a 4 year old play lbp?
i'm still stuggling to get a decent kids game for the ps3
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

the first few levels are piss easy but the whole game would be too hard
you never listen to me :(
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

it's not that i don't listen, i just don't store the infomation

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

you need to start saving shit
SAVING
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

no way, fucking cia, fbi fuckers be taking me down

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

i have a virtual dossier :\
be your downfall that
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

Not really, it's a bit fiddly and gets difficult quite quickly.

(

FoldsFive, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

i hate that you need four fucking friends to get some of the stickers
i'm internet. i don't have four fucking friends.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

sony are really not doing much to help the gamers of the future, the will all end up nintendo fags

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

no nemisis

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

Bought my car
Didn't test drive one, hadn't even seen one except on the internet. Just walked into the dealers, haggled, plonked down the deposit and picked her up 3 months later
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

3...MONTHS!?!?
Is it a DB9 or something? What if it drives like a piece of shit?

What is it? I hope it's not a Ford...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

Do new cars happen quicker than that?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

Most cars can be picked up within a few days of buying

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Ah, right you are Ted.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

All cars are pre built and most 'extras' can just be blue tac'd in.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

I feel like a right special case now.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

silly billy :) *cuddles head*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

Hurrah for head cuddles.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

*squishies*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

No a clio
The Alpine factory closes for a month in August and they have a 2 month waiting list.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

Ah fair enough :)
I quite like those :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

It's a super little car
Much better than the old 182s I had.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

i keep getting the urge to do this
though in my case the car is the 90s volvo 960 estate, and they go for around £212.75. it'd be pocket money, but car ownership would drive me mental
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

Are we still talking about the girl from Tescos?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

No about the last thing I did totally on a whim
The girl in Tesco wasn't impressed when I tried to leave a deposit and offered to pick her up in 3 months
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

You taking her to the Bingo after her medication?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Probably.
Except we don't have a bingo hall in my town.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

paint your chest with squares
put a doley on your head. She'll be yours :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

what did she say?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

She said yes.
I'm a bit nervous now.

Sample conversation might go something along the lines of 'so...how long have you been working at Tesco?'
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

So what's your favorite type of fruit to weigh?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

Plums, naturally.
Fancy weighing mine?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

nothing. i like to plan.
careful planning of plans.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

Nothing.
I don't think I have ever done anything on a whim...... actually, yes I have. When I went to talk to Trev, that was 14 years ago.

Hmmmm, I must be a planner.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

Pray, who is Trev?
Do tell.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

B3tan.... well, rarely viewed b3tan now.
But he was also my husband and Daddy to my daughters. Lovely chap.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

Ah ha!
I see.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

That would be a hasty conclusion,
as that would imply that I too am a planner. And I most definitely am not.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

Oh, I am
very much so.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

Well you would know,
but it doesn't follow from what you just told us.

I only cross my bridges when I come to them, but never act on impulse. Arbitrary decisions are impossible for me. Most of the time I'm pretty much blown along by the breeze.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

eh?
I think you read more into what I said.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

What you said was
Premise: I've never done anything on a whim
Conclusion: I must be a planner.

Does not logically follow.

The counterexample of myself was presented.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

but I was talking about myself
not you. I have no idea what you're like.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Yes but you said "I must be a planner", not "I am a planner".
I can accept your word for that, but it doesn't logically follow from "I do not act on a whim," as you implied by the use of "I must".
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

too much thought there, love
it really doesn't matter.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

EVERYTHING MATTERS
EXCEPT WHEN IT DOESN'T.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

I'm a "make a plan and then don't go through with it" kinda guy.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

Nothing, as far as I can remember.
I'm totally lacking in spontaneity.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

my whole life is done on whims

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

Crikey.
Nothing recently. I don't think. And any that I normally do involves just going to the pub or buying some new clothes/shoes/make up/underwear.

I'm quite dull really.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

I think the last thing I did on a whim
was go and get my tongue pierced during my lunch hour one time because there was nothing else to do. That's like six years ago now.

I need to do more exciting things.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

Did that not make talking in the office hard that afternoon?
Be more impulsive, you might end up doing something fun.

I'm rubbish at planning anything, pretty much everything I do is impulsive.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

I'm pretty crappy at planning anything either.
I'm a bit of a fail all round really. Oh well.

As for the tongue, not really. I didn't really talk much then, also my tongue didn't swell up like Jamie Oliver's. We had a family party to go to a couple of days later and my mother had told me in no uncertain terms not to speak to anyone because they might see. Until she'd had a few drinks and I was like a circus freak act, 'Blue Star! C'mon, show them what you got done the other day'. My cousin was there, he saw it and looked at me very very wrongly indeed.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

Most things
minimal planning leads to interesting situations.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

I'm all for this.
I don't always like to know what is going to happen one day to the next.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

And that's why you've got a ride on Walrus and live in a piano.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

Not much
I tend to regret things I do impuslively. I should probably be more impulsive though.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

I went for a poo even though I didn't need one

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

I might do something on a whim tonight.
This requires some planning...
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Thu 28 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

I'm going to see a lovely Shakespeare play tomorrow
The Comedy of Errors at the Globe.

What are you doing with your Friday night?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

SITCOM QUIZ
and maybe online b3ta bingo
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

SITCOM QUIZ?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

yes it's the online smash that all the cool kids want to play, watch closely for the dullest threads posted, the questions lie within
it also will, or not, contain questions about tv dramas. or not
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Let me guess: food, women, memes?

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

no, bingo, with numbers, and dull threads will get a number you mark them off the card that i will gaz to the entrents
if i get it finished, or not
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

for example your thread would recieve a number as it is dull
one fat lady on it's own 8
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

crying and wanking

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

Danking?

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 28 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

no

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

Being by myself
done it all week and feel a bit lonely.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

go to the pub!

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

No one is about :(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

go to the pub by my house!

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

I don't think I could ever live by myself
Me no like. My house is too big and quite.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

daww
invite a bunch of tramps in
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

I'll set up 12 mirrors around myself and have a Baker's Dozen wank I think

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

surely some of those mirrors will reflect each other
INFINITESEXY
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

COR!
I'm quite looking forward to Friday night now :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

hooray!
i might send you a gaz calling you poopot to make you grin
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

eee :D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

note 'might'
i have to retain some mystery
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

took me 2 years to get used to it.
Now I quite enjoy it.
(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

Anal sex can be quite painful at first,
but what about living with yourself?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Welcome to my world
Won't you come on in
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

I'll be catching up with films
as I spent the last month or so watching The Wire - I've now got a backlog of movies to consume.
(

rob, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

I fucking love the wire
/ac
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Getting some sleep in before the meet
probably watching some House.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

e a

I really shouldn't be let loose on a keyboard. Not funny, not original, not even worth the effort. Not to mention the waste of time spent on this PS. BAH!
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 28 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

I don't know
Most of my friends will be in Canterbury, but I can't afford to go with them.
I may just spend my weekend geeking out, and may even pop out to see Coraline
(

SuperMatt, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

coraline is a bit good that is. 3d?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

it's great in 3-D
plus you get to wear the funky glasses
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

we saw monsters vs aliens in 3d and i didnt take the glasses off all fucking day
i have a COLLECTION now.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

We saw that too
cr3 did not appreciate the glasses as I did, he was rather embarrassed by me wearing them around Brighton.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

haha i wore them at home for weeks just to piss russ off
he said i looked like a cunt but i sure showed him!
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

what the fuck do they know about style, srsly.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

in all honesty, 90% of the time i DO look like a cunt
not today though
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

Plastering my bedroom
and draining down my central heating.

ROCK AND ROLL!!!
(

M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

I've got a couple of houses to look at
Then the gym if I have time, if not it will be movies and sleep
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

most likely reading as I have 2 weeks to save as much money as I can
I'm going to the bahamas for free on 9 june, just need to save spending cash.
Get the fuck in.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

This Friday evening I shall be mostly
Getting stuff ready for a weekend of outdoor adventure
(

M o D, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

packing
maybe bike. probably bike. most likely lots of bike and no packing.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

Maybe going to the cinema
Not sure yet though.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

I Just passed my Windows Server 2003 exam,
fuck you world.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

you sure are going places

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

Certainly not in your knickers though,
I've not had my shots.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

LUMPLESS :(((

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Oh good, now you can do the Server 2008 one.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

I am going to as well you big shit.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

Looking for my dad in a post-apocalyptic Washington DC
Fallout 3
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

i'd have got that without the explanation
because i am a nerd
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

Nothing
but I am going to see Derren Brown tonight.
(

magnum, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

ask him if his mum was too stupid to be able to spell darren properly

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

OK, will do

(

magnum, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

cheers, i don't care what those other cunts say, you're alright you are

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

I saw that at the globe a few years ago,
still funny today.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

What?
That's in the future. I don't know.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Killing myself.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

Supposed to be meeting up with
irl offline friends tomorrow night, but I guarantee that the male of the relationship will feign a migraine so as to not have to go out of the house and mix with society.

I have asked some other friends along also, both irl online and irl offline. But not rhcpaul. Because I hate him.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I don't blame you

(

jenpots, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

OI!

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

The disgusting creature on the other side of my office is stuffing
chili con carne into his fat face. Every other mouthful he eats some cheesey Wotsits too.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

Stop staring into the mirror and eating wotsits then

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

what seems to be the problem here?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

I think Mr Gear is affraid of fuision cuisen.
Naturaly, officionardos like us are quite content with mixing such things, such as cuban (MOJITOS) and THAI.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

and fish arseholes with rustic bread

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

You LOVED them.
You want to eat their eyeballs.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

i don't do heads

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

huhuhuhuhhuuhhuh

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

you miss me so

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

I MIGHT GO OUTSIDE.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

steady the fuck on.
i've just been to a funeral. the food was shit and there was no beer :(
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

Oh that's not on.
Write a letter of complaint about the catering. You might get a discount on food for guests when your time comes.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

i helped with the fucking catering :(
hence the shitness
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

Oh well, it can only be better at yours then :-)

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

what a send off

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

they invited me too which says it all really

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

hur hur hur.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

gaylord

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

i have to say, gonz
it's admirable that you don't allow your inability to spell stop you from attempting words that would stump most people!
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Oooh that sounds like a good mix.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

A good mix if you want to weigh 30 stone
and stink like a corpse, spending 45 minutes in the toilet at a time.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

That's over three mes
but I do spend that much time in the toilet sometimes. It depends when the end of the chapter is.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

You'll get piles doing that

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

What, pooing?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

Not exactly.
Sitting on the potty with your bum-hole relaxed for long periods.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

What if you're just sitting?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Well... I dunno.

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

you've never sat down without completely relaxing your sphincter?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

That's got to be quite embarassing.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

If you sit with your bumhole totally relaxed
you'll not be able to control any gas or solid movements... You should only let your bum go slack... What the fuck am I saying this on the internet for?

Do what you want with your bum. See if I care.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

But I don't do that!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

Thank god.
It would be just a matter of time before you damaged the furniture.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Toilets are very comfy for the first hour.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I spend a good hour plus a day in the toilet.
It's the best place to read, nobody thinks about disturbing you.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

~~end of the chapter is~~ he cums on my face
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

i don't have an office
:((((
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

What about Bivvy?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

i have 2 bivvys
i thought my delkim reciever was broken the other day, it was buzzing, i changed the battery and it was still buzzing, oh no i thought, then i turned my alarms up and one of them was buzzing, the battery was going, all fine now, imagine that
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

I was slightly concerned whilst reading your post.
I am less concerned now.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

i like to feel that story could invoke all manner of emotions, but in the end the delkim txi plus won through,
great alarms, good times
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

WTF?

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

indeed, it's ok now though, but delkim will service the alarms and recievers for a small fee, don't worry

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

that's nice of them.
I've not used fancy things like alarms before, but I've not been fishing for an extended period of time. Good times.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

great stuff, you really need alarms for overnighters or you have to stay awake all night, i used to do that as a lad, too old now

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

vv tt
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

mmm chili con carne

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

some people put chocolate in it, this is clearly wrong and stupid

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

~~wrong and stupid~~ a bloody good idea.

Cocoa counteracts the heat of capsicum. It allows you to use stronger chili for the flavour, whilst not overdoing the heat. It also adds richness.

There's no bloody point chucking dairy milk in mind you, it needs to be very dark. Cocoa powder does a reasonable job. Forum banter, no offence.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I have had chili with chocolate in it.
I don't put it in mine though. I make hot chili and serve it with a spoon of sour cream splodged on top.

The fat in the cream emulsifies the capsaicin, taking some of the heat away.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

what about carrots in lasagne?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

that's just crazy talk

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Crazy indeed.
Ditto for celery or carrots in Spag Bol.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Celery fucks ANYthing you put it in

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

chicken in lasagne is extremely tasty

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Ragu is supposed to have chicken liver in, for richness.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

yuck, that is vomit inducing

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

back the fuck up
what do you know about food?
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

I'm going to be 100% honest with you here..
I've never tried it.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

if it's honesty then i will confess i have no opinion on it i was just trolling for an internet reaction

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

It's outlandish statements like that, and "Cheddar cheese is the asda value vanilla ice cream of the cheese world", that makes this place all the better.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

pg tips is the only tea worth drinking, and i put the milk in first

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

This is me totally agreeing with you there.
Excpet with mint tea, I quite like a bit of that.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

thank you for the blow-by-blow account of your day

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

i just want to know what happened next

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

*Sits down crossed leggeded and waits intently for story time*

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

He finished it all
and then burped.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

my boss just bought me a 50p mix for my birthday.
which is tomorrow, THUS ALSO WORLD GMOS DAY.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

We're having a street party in celebration of
GMOS day.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

I remember when you got a lot in a 10p mix!

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

I'm listening to the Podmonkey Baldcast
Number 14.

It's sort of meh.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

If that was on a poster on the side of a bus I would listen

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

THE BALDMONKEY PODCAST
"It's not as bad as infected goolies"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

"It's better than being beaten up for your sexuality"

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

I am nervous and am thus suffering from FEAR LOAVES
yes, FEAR LOAVES
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Allinson Fear Loaves
Loaves WI' NOWT TAKEN OUT.

Ye soft Southern cunt.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

I'm a northerner, you grot-bottom

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

Who says I was talking to you ?
Whippet botherer.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Who is the third 1/3 of this popular boy band
I must know :(
(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

GMoS, Donkey Gums and Red Rocket

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Lucky you're not in Las Vegas

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

I wonder if they are sliced or uncut ?
And if they are sliced, are they "normal" "thick" or "Extra thick" ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

I just cut my loaf in two and call it "Uber Thick Cut'

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

I cut mine down the middle
and call it "Man-slice"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

SO VIVA LAS VEGAS
THE FEAR LOAVES HAVE SET THE DICE STAY HOT
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Wherever you lead
I will Fear-loave
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

bat country.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

~~bat~~ flap
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

o
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

i'm going to go outside and smoke a fag, imagine that

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Coooooieeeeeeeee!!! *mince mince mince*
why helloooo!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

and not working...? imagine that :)

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

work is for dullards

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

and people with beer money

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

I'm fighting in a team and individual competition next weekend
I'm doing fear loaves.

edit: what do you guys fight for? The last pie? The love of a transexual?
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

fighting is wrong, i'm shocked at you gmos
can't you all just get along and enjoy some great banter
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

it's ok it's friendly rivalry
we dress up in armour and only hit the bits that are protected.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

so the best way to win is to be naked?

(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

this is all turning a bit homo erotic
if they get erections is it gay or not?
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

Do balls touch?
Wait..

I'll gb2/b/

:(
(Scritty Bakerman., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

Not if they high five if they make eye contact.
I believe this is the rule.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

Can you make another post with "fear loaves" in
I only think about 85% of us managed to read it.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

Sounds like the gayest type of fighting I've ever heard of

(

magnum, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

yep, pretty much.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Its just another form of internet bullying

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

someone should really inform a forum moderator about this, we will lose all the timid unfunny members if this is allowed to continue

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

I just had a verbal fight with two of my housemates because I'm sick of them taking liberties with my stuff.
I asked them to ask me before they use something of mine, and instead of accepting that I got lip back so I screwed at them.

I'm in such a fucking bad mood.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

they probably just think you are a mug, you mug

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

You screwed at them?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

Yes.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

Surely a more effective thing to do would be to screw them to the wall.
By their faces.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

I might plaster the walls with a mixture of their crushed corpses and blood.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

DO IT.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

ah, the MPs' defence
"We did something morally wrong, so we'll just moan instead of saying sorry"

kill them all with sticks
(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

2 of the members of my team are in the GB team.
this means I'm man enough to hug you without feeling gay

*hugs*
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

Use the cleansing fire.
CLEANSE THEM WITH FIRE.

So, screwed at them, aye?
(Scritty Bakerman., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

I'm fighting for the "american way"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

does that mean you're just talking loudly?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

yes and incorrectly, y'all

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

Talking loudly and invading countries they don't much like the look of.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

+ eating shit untill you're housebound

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

the right to party.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

Cunt.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

too slooooow

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

It's because I'm old.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

This

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

well I've just taken away that LIBERTY

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

I fight
for my right
to PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR-TAY.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

haha slow.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

I was busy partying.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

That's a lie.
I'm not partying at all.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

I had almost accepted your answer

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

I couldn't face living a lie, online.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

Olay UV protection cream actually smells edible.

(

live a little.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

People that say "I'm a lover, not a fighter" must be shit at rough sex

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

I'm a fighter not a lover.
I'm just shit at sex :(
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

I'm a lighter not a plover

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

I wouldnt fight for anything
other than to protect my family.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

your family made from pie, or the transexual ones?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

The flock

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

FEAR LOAVES!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

I've got a cup of coffee.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

I have a glass of lemon squash

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Is it weak lemon drink?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

YOU!
Martyrs is fucking wrong. I can't even un-watch it or anything.
I hate you.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Just read the synopsis on imdb
I don't think I'll be watching that
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

It's just not right.
It's the first thing to make me go 'oh dear, that's not very nice at all' in years.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

Ugh, just the synopsis freaked me out.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

Flaying?
Well that's just not nice at all.
(Scritty Bakerman., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

What did I tell you?
It is wrong and you can't unwatch it. I can't unwatch it either. It's fucked with my head.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

Why did they leave her face on?
It just made it worse.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

Shush!
Don't give any of it away, for fucks sake.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

Nobody is going to watch it now.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

It's pretty weak
Robinsons fruit & barley or something. I don't buy it so I can't really complain.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

Drink it now!

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

I am Simon Quinlank
King of all hobbies. Look upon my wonder and despair.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

that's not coffee, it's shit
and that's not a cup, it's a colostomy bag...

god you're a right fuckwit, terry!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

I've got my penultimate exam in an hour's time.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

Good luck!
My last is tomorrow.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Thanks.
It's only worth two out of 240 credits. The biggy worth 15 credits is next Tuesday and I'm well nervous.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

I have two exams worth 20 credits each out of 240 next week.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

I have absolutely no exams next week
none
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

I feel for you.
You'll be fine, don't worry.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

that's where you are wrong, i'm going to exam you right up and all over
you'll be fed up of exams by the time i've finished with you
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

Everyone on b3ta is already fed up with exams.
Those who are taking them, and those who are fed up about hearing about those who are taking them.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

this is why this weekend pens and papers at the ready kids
it's SITCOM quiz nights
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

YES!

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

8pm friday, eyes down look in
i'm also in the progress of making a bingo night for the intervals in the quiz, great forum
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

Eek.
My last one is worth 80% of a 15 credit module.

I'm sure you will be fine.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

you can do this sort of thing.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

The worst thing I found about exams:
It doesn't matter whether it's summer or winter someone will ALWAYS have a cold/flu, that person is guaranteed to be sitting within 10 feet of you and keep sniffling constantly for the 1-4 hours of your exam...
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

and have a watch that goes "beep" on the hour.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

I'm special so I get a room all to myself.
No sniffing people for me.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

good luck
you'll be fine
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

YOU ARE GOING TO PANIC AND FAIL.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

don't say that, let this online boring saga come to an end

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

DekionPlexis for MOD!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

If he worked at the MOD there'd be a nuclear war within days.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Fuck that,
he'd ban everyone for being a lizard-person/jew conspirator.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

Except me. I am Mr Jimz; Moon Master.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

But I got your duck.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

I hate you.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

when I go swimming I wear speedos
add this to my tramp chic stylings and you get 'speedo tramp' which is the strongest look you will see this summer.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

I've got a growing feeling of unease and a hatred of the Williams sisters.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

I also have coffee.
A large espresso. My second of the day.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

I have pineapple

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Spearmint green tea over here.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

dropped a mint into your brew again :(

(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

No, just a squirt of toothpaste.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 28 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

meh, I hate having to go shopping for clothes
will somebody do it for me please.
(

MrA, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

I am so facing south right now you wouldn't believe it

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

I've got cherries
and will have a tuppa tea pronto
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

I've accidently gotten drunk on strongbow and watermellon bicardi breezers.
Diddums.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

i'm going to have a few bicardi breezers tonight and think about you and your bicardi breezers

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

Maybe, somehow, if I drink some watermellon bicardi breezres, and I text you (don't do voice comunication) when I'm about to drink itl.
Then you do the same thing, and we both look up at the moon, it'll be like both of us drinking together.

I reckon we should put on that "Noooo body know's it, but you've got a secret smile, and you use it, only for me." song on too.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

that sounds like a great plan, i'll have to ask the landlord of the pub if he's got that song tho, if not i'll just sing it
i'm so excited, can i have a lime breezer tho the watermellon one is too sweet for me?
(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

Yeah', sure, why not?.....
He should have it on, everyone should have Feeling Strangly Fine.

Worst case, we can listen to it on our walkmans.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Have you given up your heterosexuality for good then?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

I'm going to be honest with you here....
Being gay taste so much better, when it comes to beverages.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

Man up.
Drink some beer.

It is the tastiest drink of them all.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

I need a cup of coffee.
Cafétiere or Moka pot?
(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

I don't know what a Moka pot is.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moka_pot

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

Moka pot FTW.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

1. You fucking poof.
2. Coffee is shit.
3. Granules and a kettle.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

Up yours, cockbag.

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

Nob off, shiteyes.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

Gaylord.

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

What interesting thing happened to you within the last week?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

No thing

(

WormuIus, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

My birthday,
A wedding,

you probably don't care about either.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

I was told I'm going to work in Preston for 3 months
Damn.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

Piss On Imp Aussie Mole.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

Bad luck.
I hear there is no such thing as colour or sunshine there.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

I heard that rumour, too.
Typical, 6 months working from home, then when we're due to get the best summer ever, I get sent to Preston.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

That is really bad luck mate.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

I know.
And I might have to sell my motorbike :-(
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

What do you ride?
I did my CBT last summer, saving up for my full license now.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

Yamaha Fazer
Good bike, though a bit soft on the front suspension.

As a first bike, the ER6 is quite good apparently.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

I have heard similar.
Although I was thinking maybe a 400cc Bandit.

Went out on the back of a mate's GSXR1000 the other day. Scared me silly!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

I've heard nothing but good about the Bandits, actually
and the gixxers look niiiiice.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Yeh, bandits seem to be reliable.
You can pick up a decent one for under a grand too.

Not only do gixxers look good, with a decent rear can on they sound AMAZING!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

the sporty ones aren't my cup of tea, to be honest
I can appreciate them but I like cruisers :)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

I like the idea of having something sporty.
I also quite like the grand tourer style BMW bikes too.

I'm not a fan of Harleys or chopper style bikes really.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Why undersell yourself with a 400cc?
You might as well go for the Hornet - another good starter bike.

600cc is perfectly respectable for a starter bike. And if you do the test on a bigger bike, you'd be better off sticking to a bigger bike. 500cc is as small as you should go, really, as it gives you good power for overtaking safely.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

Maybe, I have just heard they are really solidly put together.
I need to do a bit more research really, a mate is selling his CBR600 quite cheaply. Might consider that.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Good option.
Decent bikes for blatting about on.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

Not very exciting though.
But like you say, a decent enough bike. Easy to get spares for too.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

My other problem is that I have quite short legs.
I have been recommended a Ducatti Monster as they have a really low seat height.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

I had sex with Baldmonkey.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 28 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

Public M.O.T.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

i got on a bus

(

mongychops, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

Escape From Alky Tramps.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

I did that
Then I got off again.

My head was spinning with adrenaline for days.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 28 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

a mechanic removed me from a car, at a cost of £212.75

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

That isn't too bad for a service.
My last one was nearly £400.

That children, is why you don't run a 22 year old car.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

You could get £2000 for it if you went and bought a Citroen.

(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

I could but i'm wedded to my car.
Sad really.

Edit: I would have to drive a citroen too!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

Rat's Entertainment.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

Ah!

(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

I lost my phone in the woods.
The interesting part is that I don't care.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

Pat Sharpe's Phone House.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

call it up,
see if a squirrel answers.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

I did. It's all blocked now.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

seriously long wee

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

Ninteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeendo.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

haha

(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

I spat on someone.

(

thealternativefact, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

I parachuted in behind enemy lines

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 28 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

A trip to A&E for 3 stiches
Oh and it was also my Birthday this week
(

M o D, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

I watched a film which fucked with my head
and fell in love with the end credit music.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

some stuff

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

Broke my personal best of 15 tonnes total weight lifted in one chest/shoulders session at the gym.
and well inside the target time of 1 hour :)
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

oh wait, you said interesting?

(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Thu 28 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

At the gym?
Or on the way home from the pie shop?
(

thealternativefact, Thu 28 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

I went to see lots of historic motor racing at Brands Hatch.
70's & 80's F1 FTW!
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 28 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

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