I've been offered a job, kind of.Or rather, there's a place that advertised for a job, and I'm the only suitable applicant.
But because they get government assistance I have to make lots of appointments with social welfare people to see if I'm unemployed enough first.
For fuck's sake, etc.
What silly bits of rules have slapped you in the face today?
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:48,
archived)
The trousers.Then wrap your legs around the neck of the oppressors.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:52,
archived)
You can still wear the suspenders underneath though, right?(
RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:49,
archived)
I came to work dressed as a school girl once.It wasn't for charity either.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:49,
archived)
You didn't really understand what the cops meant when they asked you to pretend to be a girl online to catch paedophiles, did you?(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:51,
archived)
Nope :(But at least I lost my brown wings.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:52,
archived)
So that's why you are no longer the masked vigilante known as Owl Man!(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:59,
archived)
I walk funny and am now known as Owww Man(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:00,
archived)
They asked why I was dressed smart and if I was going for a job interview...(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:52,
archived)
I'm notifying the orthorities.To report you for GREAT FORUM BANTER.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:51,
archived)
i was a bit worried that this banter was a tad on the risque side, but i know you are not a meek, timid forum postergreat forum
(
mongychops, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:53,
archived)
Are you saying that I shall not inherit the earth?Divine forum banter.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:58,
archived)
Just this onecontent.etilize.com/Large/1010016364.jpg
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:53,
archived)
I hate to break it to youbut that isn't a real ruler.
When you told us you had a 7 inch dick....
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:55,
archived)
Should be wide enough for anyone.(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:00,
archived)
I'm not sure whether to blame capitalism, British imperialism, or JMG.(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:57,
archived)
800 years of dole cuts.There you, the holistic approach.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:59,
archived)
Spuh duh duh duh d d d dwoioioioioioinnnnnnng.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:05,
archived)
Hurrah!I went up and got my old Vic 20 out of the attic,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUEI7mm8M7Q
(clicky here for shatner advert)
plugged it in and it still works. This fills me with retro geek happiness as I can now gaze at its minuscule ram (3k) and wonder how the fuck I ever sat down and wrote programs on it. I used to take it round to our local nightclub and wrote a little program to display special offers and events on the big screen, all of which was saved onto a cassette tape and strangly enough, it still works too.
Bass export on draft 50p a pint
Free cocktail drink for the first 100 ladies through the door (for cocktail read dregs from the bottles mixed up)
Video disco on Wednesday night - watch videos on our big screen (usually copies of videos recorded from the TV especially an Irish show called MT-USA)
I get a strange warm feeling of nostalgia now.... or maybe I pissed myself.
Nostalgia thread go!
(
TBL I posted this on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:10,
archived)
I found an old sound effects keyring, pressing the buttons made my pubes disappear and want to play in Boxes from Safeway.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:11,
archived)
when did you stop wanting to play in boxes anyway?(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:23,
archived)
Has it got a brillo pad on the outside?(
RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:33,
archived)
Two wrongs don't make a right.I retract my statement.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:03,
archived)
I stopped last week as it was getting embassing when on dates."Why hellooooo that dress looks lovely, come inside, welcome to my space ship...ONLY JOKING! NO GIRLS ALLOWED! GIRLS ARE SMELLY EWWWW!! 3 SECONDS TO BLAST OFF! 3...2...1! PPPEESSHEEWWWWWW!!"
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:30,
archived)
When i've finished coming I start talking like Barney The Dinosaurand I sing:
"I love you You love me
we're a happy family
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.
won't you say you love me too"
Then the prostitutes tell me to get out and leave my £10 by the lamp.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:37,
archived)
do you have any suggestions for good quality hakama?well do you?
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:27,
archived)
This one. Stops you getting sweaty.www.ninecircles.co.uk/product_details.asp?ProdID=542&CatID=26
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:35,
archived)
grand I think I'll make a DEPOSIT next monthone thing I don't like about 9 circles is they tax the delivery too, THE CUNTS
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:37,
archived)
I used to get my stuff from Playwell as I had a trade card but they've gone down hill lots.They were about 5 minutes in the car from me.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:40,
archived)
I'm using EuroKendo recently because I met them and they were lovelyalso I've just bought a gold spangly dou for 92 quid
NICE
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:42,
archived)
I've still got my first ever and most comfortable Dogi as it's got 2/3 elastic sleeves than you can tuck up and don't get in the way.When I got my 1st Dan it took 3 months to get my belt as it had to be embroidered in complex Korean and I didn't trust anyone in this country to do it so my sabumnim sent it off to Korea to get done. Cost me £90 :S I swear he just got his wife to do it and kept the money himself. Probably says "Stupid White Boy Got A Small Willy"
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:46,
archived)
boobies.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:11,
archived)
Sorry, I couldn't think of a more relevant reply to his massive geeky pensioner post.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:13,
archived)
if you show me yours I promise to be nostalgic about them when I'm 50.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:20,
archived)
year 5 maths used to fly by.....(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:43,
archived)
I concluded that the loading time from cassette machines...was just to load that fucking picture on the load screen!
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)
When I wanted to play a computer game when younger I'd turn on the ZX Spectrum, load itGo have my dinner, come back up after 20 minutes for it have just about finished loading, pressed CH-PINGPOING joystick button and then it would crash and then load it up again for another 20 minutes.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:14,
archived)
I have a ZX spectrum for sale.so if you want to relive those moments, give me a gaz.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:15,
archived)
You can pay me to take it.I should only be given presents.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:17,
archived)
I'm going to have to decline your offer,as much as it pains me.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:18,
archived)
of course.there's an atari 2600 too
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:20,
archived)
I'm not entirely sure how much it's worth,so I need to spend some time making sure I don't ask way too much or get ripped off myself, so give me a day or two if you're actually interested.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:23,
archived)
OK wormy baby,I'll get back to you later today. A quick look on ebay tells me that's about right.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:27,
archived)
it's a spectrum +, if that changes anything.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:29,
archived)
turn it upside downif all the keys fall out its a MK1
(
TBL I posted this on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:32,
archived)
didn't fall outis that good or bad?
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:37,
archived)
Not reallyI collect these things, It'll go to a good home.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:33,
archived)
I used to collects of old consolesthen I realised I had loads of old shit around my bedroom
I flogged it all to nerds a few years ago, apart from my mega drive/ mega CD combo, that's not going ANYWHERE
(
Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:36,
archived)
not the Multimega? that's worth a fortune at the moment according to Retrogamer magI'd love a mega CD again but I'm quite happy with the emulator and Sewer Shark
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:49,
archived)
I have an Intellivision but I don't think I could ever part with it,there was even a modem available for it to download games.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:52,
archived)
for those that are baffledwww.zee-3.com/pickfordbros/articles/loadingscreens.php
(
TBL I posted this on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:18,
archived)
you had to be thereoh and more
www.zee-3.com/pickfordbros/archive/loadingscreengallery.php
(
TBL I posted this on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:21,
archived)
Some games had "INVADE A LOAD"usually a poor version of Space Invaders
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:39,
archived)
lol the baby photos and young photos were out at my folks place because my sister is going to New Zealand, so I was looking back through them(
GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:13,
archived)
yeah yeah oldyoutube link
old old old.
yeah we get it.
fucking hell.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)
CHEER UP!You should be walking around with an enormous grin not sulking on the internet.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:15,
archived)
His mouth makes the Cheshire Cat's look like a pin prick on a bill board.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:19,
archived)
Wormulus has a fantastic point thoughI've received some brilliant news, but am all ARGH RARGH about it.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)
Here's somethingThere was no sitcom. I was going to be on Big Brother this year. Then I got *this* news and had to decline.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)
Big Brother...Why? It would ruin your life.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:39,
archived)
to put his big face on the front of heat magazinethey would need to change it to heeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)
It was more of a "how far can I get without trying" sort of thingAnd I ended up in the final 16. Then had to pull out.
Freddie was my replacement.
I don't know who Freddie is.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)
Doesn't mean you'd be in though does it,or are there 16 of the cunts in there?
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:47,
archived)
They put about 14 in on the first night.And there's usually a few ones they whack in half way through to shake things up.
(
RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:49,
archived)
Old? You've got a problem with old and nostalgic stuff?Considering your blog page?
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:18,
archived)
I love whenever I started a thread like this, I just got berated for it(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)
STOP BREAKING THE SANCTITY OF GAZWHERE I EXPRESS MY TRUE FEELINGS
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:53,
archived)
Your thread was:yeah fencing
xoxo -3 lol.
That's what I just read.
How fucking tedious, seriously.
There's no question, topic or point to discuss. This one brings up an old system he found and asks about nostalgia. That's something we can discuss.
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:26,
archived)
No, I mean, when I starta thread like *this*Like "ooh, remember this"
People told me to fuck off.
I love people who associate my name with being shit. Wildheart Baby did an experiment when he was round my house once.. he started a few threads under my name. Stuff he's usually write. And immediately, everyone was "FUCK OFF FRIZ". It was pretty impressive. He was amazed, himself.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)
It's almost as if people don't like you.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:32,
archived)
Why are you complaining about it then?(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:34,
archived)
I'm in a weird mood todayI should really not post anything today.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)
Think of it like a playground.Every now and again they target someone and keep at them. A year later, it's forgotten about and the target has moved on to someone else.
If you're being really bothered by it, keep a low profile. Contribute to threads instead of starting them and you won't be accused of trying to draw attention to yourself.
Besides, this is b3ta. Mykey is fat, spangolin is short, Blue Star is cute, Gonzo should just shut up, Randy Rustenberg is a gay cunt (RRIAGC) and I'm just background noise. We all pick on each other so maybe grow some thicker skin - like on your face lol :p
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:34,
archived)
Last week I found an old tape note recorder.It had both sides full of me and a mate I've not talked to in years chatting shit at about one in the morning some time in 2004. I know five years isn't really ancient enough to justify nostalgia but it did remind me what it was like being 16. Mostly I'm glad that I'm not any more.
(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:14,
archived)
I used to have a cassette recorder with a mic.I recorded a 'radio' show in the early 90s about my brother having a spotty willy and played it at dinnertime to show my mum & dad what I'd been up to all day. I got sent to my room :(
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:16,
archived)
Haha, nice one.My tape would actually probably stand up as a crap podcast. I'm very rude to my mate though, it's unsurprising that he doesn't talk to me any more.
(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:17,
archived)
I even overdubbed a Yazz song about his winky looking like Super Ted's sidekick.I wish still had them, they would have been epic.
Vintage Tapecasting, I think most people did it.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:22,
archived)
yesI still have some tapes I made in the 80's - I think I may burn them**
**listen to them again and again in my rocking chair while dribbling.
(
TBL I posted this on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:24,
archived)
I was one half of Maxell C90 sensation Radio Dingabing.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:36,
archived)
Thread JackJob Offer
6 months, full-time, pro-rata, Guys and St Thomas's NHS Trust -LONDON
Genetics department needs someone a bit autistic with good computer skills (I suspect it will mostly be web browsing and data input) to help compile genetic data lists or some other nonsence.
You should ideally be intelligent enough to be able to learn the basics of what you are doing and be good at spotting patterns.
Anyone who wants more info, Gaz me and I'll see if I can have some material sent to you.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:14,
archived)
can it be done from distance?(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:16,
archived)
sounds like most people on b3ta" a bit autistic, web browsing and "data" entry"
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:19,
archived)
A while ago I bought a pack of mini boglins and monsters in my pocket from ebay for a couple of quid.Glee!
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:17,
archived)
My sister bought a cabbage patch dollas she never had one when they first came out, and my niece is scared of it.
(
TBL I posted this on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:20,
archived)
I still occasionally hunt eBay for one of thesefarm1.static.flickr.com/141/405491169_fe4adf9bd7.jpg
(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:29,
archived)
I was clearing out my loft last weekof all the shit that my ex had left behind when she walked out 8 years ago.
I was really pleased to find my Tascam MM1 mixing desk.
I just need to find something to mix now :)
(
turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:37,
archived)
I'm going to get my Commodore 64 out one dayjust to play Platoon
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:47,
archived)
i had a commodore vic20 as my first PCfucking awesome. It had a suitcase for it too :)
I remember playing a caveman game on it. those were the days...
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)
I have tea,cake, fabulous hair and a secret smile.
What do YOU have?
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:07,
archived)
a bottle of water, homemade soup... and drool.... coming from my mouth....BOOBS!
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)
2 emails to produce,one of which is in French.
(
Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:09,
archived)
A leaky washing machine, a headache, and the vision of my housemate getting a blowjob that I can't unsee.(
jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:09,
archived)
It's not as simple as thatIt's burned into my retinas.
(
jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:10,
archived)
Even more fabulous hair, a coffee and curry guffs.EDIT: Mods, b3ta is slooooooooooow. Like a flid egg and spoon race.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:09,
archived)
A towel draped around my waist, and an iTunes full of good music(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)
Yeah.I have that too.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:10,
archived)
Spotify, meat, and an obsession with buying a racing bikeI keep F5'ing gumtree after missing out on a brilliant one by two fucking minutes
(
Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:12,
archived)
yeah fencingxoxo -3 lol.
That's what I just read.
How fucking tedious, seriously.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)
Well done on reducing the tediumyou cock.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:55,
archived)
WARNING, TROLL, DO NOT FEED(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:56,
archived)
They TRY to, but the goats are TOO WILEY FOR THEM.(
Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:58,
archived)
I read it last night to Catfish Jnr,and the first two tell the Troll that the brother following is a lot bigger and tastier. The big bastard last one gets on the bridge and opens a can of whoopass on the Troll, sending him to a watery, indeterminate end.
(
Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:01,
archived)
OH YEAH I REMEMBERif i was the troll i would eat all three, om nom nom.
(
sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:02,
archived)
XO XO looks like two emoticons getting bummed ontop of each other.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:01,
archived)
almost as tedious as being a fat fuck just whinging about it.(
GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:57,
archived)
*stuffs face with jaffa cakes and tea*yeah, he should totally just fuck off.
*slurps*
(
sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:00,
archived)
my face or your face?what're you slurping?
OH THIS COULD BE THE SEXIEST MESSAGE OR THE MOST UPSETTING MESSAGE EVER
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:03,
archived)
YEAH!and... and... and... he, like, has no icon... he's a proper twat!
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)
I totally forgot I had a birthday this year. I am a spaz.*July 1st Fives*
all the best people have their birthday in July.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:00,
archived)
*intricate handshake from DA STREET - culminating in earth-shaterring FIVE*hell yes!
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)
NOOOO. SLEEEEP! 'TILL BEDTIME!*crosses arms*
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:05,
archived)
Seriously, fuck off, it's a thread about an actual pastime, in the real world, not just lolrofl I got my laptop back.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:59,
archived)
lol... BYE EVERYONE!I'm leaving the comfort of my PC for several minutes as I wobble to the front door to collect my delivered Dominoes and KFC bargain bucket!
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)
Nooo!Bring a panic alarm, in case you fall over or get out of breath.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:02,
archived)
The best bit about buying second hand men's clothingis picking up the scent of the previous owner, even if it's just a different brand of washing powder.
(
Bats, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:00,
archived)
*sniffs* aahhhhh, the smell of corpse and piss...(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:05,
archived)
It's rather more interesting than the usual dribblings that pass for threads.I don't know a lot about Fencing, but I know more about it now than I did before he posted.
Cheers, Reptilian thing bloke.
(
Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:06,
archived)
Always willing to serve!Focus less on the Reptilian and more on the Banana, my screen name changes every few months but the Banana bit remains fairly constant.
...very interesting.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)
I'm more of a fedora man, myselfit's like the compensating element, but for hats.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)
I don't know how many of you are poncey enough to fenceBut I propose that the spirit of fencing, hit without being hit, is being lost on the current generation of fencers in favour of score as many points as possible. I therefore suggest a system where a point is subtracted each hit you take and you can't go below 0:
i.e.
X X O X O - 3X - 1
O O X O X - 2X - 1
In this system of scoring you would have to be hit a maximum of 1/3 attacks in order to actually progress in points (2 steps forward 1 step back) and so in order to stop people dying the bout lasts a set number of attacks, 15 or so, unless of course you fancy your chances as a marathon runner.
If it looks unfair to you I'll just claim that's 'cos you're still thinking in "hit hit HIT!" mode. The penalising for being hit is less significant at 15 attacks or so.
I'm also going to be modelling more systems, maybe even chuck in some exponential stuff, but that's just too weird to put on b3ta.
Thoughts?
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)
Like with maffsbut playdoh is fun, too; somewhat edible, as well!
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)
MAYBE CR3'll BARR'YA.barrier. barrya. OH i give up.
(
sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:54,
archived)
DON'T GIVE UP, KEEP 'POSTING'lol like a fence post...I give up too.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:57,
archived)
I've thought about doing fencing since, ooh, last night when I saw a poster for fencing lessons while I was on the busbut I really don't give a fuck about this
(
Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:51,
archived)
Just build a wall, putting up a fence sounds hard by the looks of things.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:52,
archived)
EYE NOSES.It was an easy roffle for the ones with obvious-humour lobes.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:55,
archived)
I like sabre fencing best of all the fencingsIf there were cleaver fencing I'd prefer that.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:54,
archived)
I did mostly have sabre in mindThe foil fencers can just fuck off with their flaily shit and epeeists can keep on smacking rocks against each other.
I want to slow down the sabreurs a little bit, get them scared.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)
You shouldGive them proper sabres and take off their armour, see how many points they're willing to concede then.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:58,
archived)
This is the whole pointat the beginning of the game conceding a point is actually of far greater effect than scoring a point; as shown above with despite an orthodox win of 3 vs 2 it becomes a draw that goes through to sudden death.
People seem to forget what they're emulating when they fence.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)
I've got a martial arts backgroundand have worked with Bowie knives, which are similar in technique to sabres. A good sabreur will still probably chop the fuck out of me, of course, I haven't put the hours in, but he'll do so with all sorts of bad habits.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:06,
archived)
I heard that once you get in a knife fightyou're pretty much guaranteed to get cut in some way, so the idea is to minimise the damage done to you, such as even grabbing the blade to get control of the weapon. How much of this rings true?
Then again... bowie knives are quite different to kitchen knives.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)
No to grabbingyou're likely to get cut, so make sure it's on the backs of your hands and forearms and not the palms/insides, outer leg rather than inner leg and so on. And finish up quickly before you go into shock :)
I met one guy who took an attacker's knife out of the equation by jamming it into his thigh and holding it there while he punched the crap out of him. He's a very scary guy.
Yup, 10" or so is the cut-off between small and large knives - whether you have a realistic prospect of getting past the blade with your bare hands. Most etymologies of fencing indicate the sword is your protection, rather than your weapon - you keep it between you and your attacker.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:18,
archived)
The thing iswhat interests me and what I find appealing about fencing is the background, the practicalities people faced in trying to apply a sharp piece of metal to other people in a way that stopped the same being applied to them. The movements and rhythms and dynamics of it. And something like epee fencing is basically a game of "tag".
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:57,
archived)
Sabre is for officersFoil is for vicars
Epee is for the French.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)
I read that as clever fencing.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:57,
archived)
The oppositemore bellowing and chopping.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:58,
archived)
CHOP CHOP CHOPI'd love to be able to use a sword, all fancy like. I MIGHT BUY ONE.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:00,
archived)
I'd make fencing more interestingby forcing the fencers to fight whilst holding onto swinging chandeliers
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:57,
archived)
HELLO INTERNET!I'm currently listening to ol' skool hip-hop
*throws gang signs*
what have you been listening to that you haven't in a long time, except maybe the sound of a treadmill...?
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)
BROWNSTONE - if you love mei didn't realise i even had an mp3 but it appeared in my randomburn list.
(
sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:47,
archived)
Modest Mouse have the distinction of being on my Randomburn this year AND last year.Must be because I have too much MM stuff on this computer.
(
Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:57,
archived)
I want to go to star fleet.I'd be CHIEF POLITICAL OFFICER VLADIMINSKIOF
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:09,
archived)
Actually, I'd want to be Data, the smarmy third in command Autism robot.(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:12,
archived)
It took about 5 mins of photoshopand about 1 hour of teasing my prostate with a vibrating egg on a coathanger before I ejaculated without toucing my glans.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:20,
archived)
I would hate to be the person who has to clean the holodesk when fat internetters realise they can knob a holographic girl that's programmed to love them.(
SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:12,
archived)
You're so mean!I WISH YOU'D NEVER COME BACK.
*flounces*
(
SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:14,
archived)
hahathis is precisely why I came back.
I've been sent by a higher power to irritate the fuck out of you.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:21,
archived)
"Damn, forgot my mop and cloth again!Guess there's only one other way to clean all this up!"
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:14,
archived)
Your mother's weeping vaginastill warm from the chaffing of baldmonkey's homunculus-shaped woody.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:08,
archived)
Actually, can I change my answer toyour bumtube lining, after a week in pædo-prison, where it's been fucked so hard it looks like a clown's pocket made from translucent bacon.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:10,
archived)
I have scars on my hands from the last bashI fear they are permanent and disfiguring.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:09,
archived)
She took chunks out of me.The joke about me on the other board is that sunlight could snap me :(
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:12,
archived)
It's because of the repressed AIDS I caught from my repressed homoseuxal encounters.(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:20,
archived)
Shall we do the right thing by you and 'out' you?Maybe it's the push you need to face up to the truth.
You massive homme.
(
RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:24,
archived)
she also beat you at mercy and an arm wrestle.:( you poor delicate little flower.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
Both of you are as queer and insecure as each other for wanting to wrestle a girl(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:24,
archived)
he says,tossing his long hair, wearing tight jeans and a plunging neckline.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)
My phone ring tone is girls screamingI know yours is too, but mine is in the sexy way.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:30,
archived)
He burys himself in the Mcdonald's ballpit and then goes to work with his dictaphoneHe's the Ball Park Shark.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:38,
archived)
I don't know what they are, so I'm gonna go with rib-eye.(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:10,
archived)
Without wanting to get into a pointless argument about food on the internetI'd like to say I think rib eye is better than sirloin
(
Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:19,
archived)
Minion grows up.Now you will never take the two of us.
(
BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:27,
archived)
You're my e-hero.(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:30,
archived)
Star Fleet? As in Star Trek?(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:10,
archived)
Sigh, didn't want to do this again but:Did someone say, Star Trek?
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:11,
archived)
Terrahawks.I liked the noughts and crosses at the end. And Zelda was terrifying. And Starfleet had Brian May doing the theme tune.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:18,
archived)
who caresit's world sauntering day
www.holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/June/saunteringday.htm
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:26,
archived)
i sent you another copy of the cd yesterdayif you don't get this one. i'm not gonna keep trying. sorry!
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:34,
archived)
Wicked, cheers mate.It's not you fault, I've got a theiving/rubbish Postman.
(
BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:38,
archived)
the curtains.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:29,
archived)
WHINGE TIME.My Macbook charger is on the fritz - AGAIN. This is the fourth or fifth time this has happened, and I'm getting a wee bit fucked off with it. I'm so glad I didn't pay for this stupid posey overpriced machine, or I would have someone's neck!
Right, your turn.
(
Bats, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:29,
archived)
*smug macbook remark*(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:32,
archived)
Its punishment for owning a macbook(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:34,
archived)
Why should anyone be punished for having good consumer sense?(
SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04,
archived)
My macbook pro is working splendidly tooand also sucking me off under my desk, whilst making tea.
Apple - smugger than Gizmo waist-deep in croissants.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:45,
archived)
I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY/dante
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:31,
archived)
DAMMIT VIRGIL, HOW MANY COCKS DID YOU SUCK?/dante's inferno
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:35,
archived)
Oh no, it's erupting!/Dante's Peak
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:56,
archived)
To be nobody-but-yourself -in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
Your turn again.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:31,
archived)
You can't get better than a kwik-fit fitter.Your turn.
(
RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:35,
archived)
Death is not an event in life:we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present.
Your turn.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:39,
archived)
I've been to paradisebut I've never been to me.
Your turn
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:44,
archived)
Stick your head up your arseoh wait...
winkingfacetoshowIdon'treallymeanit
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:53,
archived)
I have become death: Shatterer of worlds.your turn.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:46,
archived)
I feel like chicken tonight!LIKE CHICKEN TONIGHT!
your turn.
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:50,
archived)
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedoI want to sink her with my pink torpedo
... your turn
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:52,
archived)
FUCK YEAH.I love that song.
Big game is waiting there, inside her tights.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:54,
archived)
Yo, I woke up, fucked up off the liquor I drunkI had a bag of the skunk, won in last night's tunk
Pussy residue is on my penis
Denise from the cleaners
Fucked me good, you shoulda seen us
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:56,
archived)
haha I'd forgotten how awsome that song isCaressing this bitch, plus I'm checking out them tits
Sipping on that fine shit
I ain't used to buying
I gotta hit it from behind, it's mandatory
Like taking ho's money, but that's another story
For surely ya pussy on toast, after we toast
her clothes fell like Bishop and Juice
The womb beater, clean pussy eater, inserting my jock
In that spot hotter than the hottest block, don't stop!
Response I got when I was knockin' it
Clocks steady ticking, kinky finger licking
Then carrying on, semen's at my tip when she moans
I gotta slow down before I cum soon
And work that nigger, like a slave owner
When I dropped off my outfit, she knew I wanted to bone her
She's foaming at them lips, the ones between the hips
Pubic hair's looking like some sour cream dip
Without the nacho, my dick hit the spot though
Pussy tighter than conditions up on black folks
we in the final stretch, the last part of sex
I bust a fat ass nut - then I woke up next
Like, what the fuck is going on here?
This bitch evaporated, pussy and all just picked up and vacated
And now I'm frustrated cause my dick was unprotected
And doctor Wesley's telling me I really got that shit
(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:58,
archived)
I have become Shatner.KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:57,
archived)
heheAh, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
Friedrich Nietzsche's turn.
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:50,
archived)
If you gaze for long into an abyss,the abyss gazes also into you.
Samuel Johnson's turn.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:54,
archived)
A man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner.Plato's turn
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:56,
archived)
We are inclined to believe those whom we do not knowbecause they have never lied to us.
Kant's turn?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:56,
archived)
A man often meets his destiny on the path he takes to avoid it./likes this one but doesn't know who it's by.
(
RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04,
archived)
Nah, that was "Rubber nipples on the costume... too much?"(
RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:08,
archived)
There's a similar Sufi storywww.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-3933318.html
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:18,
archived)
When you meet death in a story, never, never, ever think you can outwit, outsmart, trick, confuse, or otherwise triumph over him/her. You are always fucked. There's no point in galloping to Samarkand, or trying to hide under the bed, or swapping the life candles so Death blows out someone else's, or going 'Look! Over there!!' and then running away. Give it up. You are done for. Welcome it, and then you can avoid ending up as the idiot in someone's story about how some idiot thought they could cheat death.
(
vladimir, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:41,
archived)
Wah wah I own a macbook wah wah.(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:31,
archived)
Did you keep it watered'n'feed?Apparently they respond well to regga music.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:32,
archived)
I'm going to start an argument about Macs and PCs...Go!
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:34,
archived)
It's like trying to choose between death by shooting or stabbing.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:49,
archived)
I'm brokebut I've nothing majorly huge to whinge about. Give me a few minutes and I'm pretty sure I'll find something.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:34,
archived)
you're not as cool as mewhinge about that
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:35,
archived)
I'm infinitely cooler than you.So shut your face.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:36,
archived)
yeah, being a short, ginger, take that fanyou are the epitome of coolness :p
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:38,
archived)
HELL YEAH.You'd KILL to be me.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:42,
archived)
i'm like the anti-youyou are my nemesis. let's have a never-ending series of altercations once a week
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:46,
archived)
Go on then.Don't push me into any more hedges though, you shit.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:51,
archived)
How about...Those chocolate covered pretzels, why don't they sell them anymore?
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:37,
archived)
It's a good pointThey were awesome.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:38,
archived)
Do you remember what they were called?(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:40,
archived)
Pretzel Flipzthe white ones were kick ass awesome
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:41,
archived)
wha...I was just looking for somewhere to purchase Flipz, and I found this.
www.flipzsite.com/site/apps/s/inline.asp?c=fkLPJ9MYKwH&b=368537
Chocolate covered pretzelness is next to godliness, apparently.
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:48,
archived)
Sometimes, when I buy a bag of pretzels, I'd buy a bag of chocolate buttons to eat them together with.(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:42,
archived)
I might pop down to Tescos tonight and do this. Nom nom nom.(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:49,
archived)
Sounds like a nutritious alternative to dinner.I think I'll join you, I'll get some booze and fags too... and a copy of "Hard Target" from the cheap DVD bin. It'll be the best night ever.
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:54,
archived)
You are a genius(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:45,
archived)
I've not had any problems with the charger, but I have had battery issues.I love my macbook.
(
SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:35,
archived)
I've just seen the milkyway advert and they've changed the wordsThe bit where it used to say "he's looking for a chocolate treat fluffy and light cause he knows it won't spoil his appetite" has been changed to "cause he knows its something that tastes just right" and then the end bit has been changed from Smart old blue to good old blue.
:(
(
Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:36,
archived)
I actually feel sad that I have remembered the exact words for 20 years(
Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:37,
archived)
It just gets worse, you know.You'll end up remembering themes from ads that you saw when you were five, or themes from sit-coms that aired once in 1985, on BBC2. I wonder what gets squeezed out of the brain to remember these inconsequential little things?
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)
And yetI'll still forgot to pick up milk on the way home today. If you want to dredge the depth of TV memories, go look at tv.cream.org/ . You'll soon get lost in a sea of "Oooh, yeah, I'd completely forgotten that!"
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)
You need to add a NSFW to that linknot because it links to anything naughty; just you'll spend so long on it you'll get the sack
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:59,
archived)
The old red car and the blue car advert is back onsee Tyronnes thread below.
(
Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:45,
archived)
I can't be arsed using my mouse wheelThey've just asked me to do some more overtime today. The health and safety rep fell over and broke her wrist on the way to a health and safety meeting. I'm covering her job to Carlisle ironically this afternoon.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)
did she really?see, Morrissette? THAT'S fucking ironic.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:54,
archived)
All trueI saw her yesterday with a bruise on her eyebrow. I asked her if she didn't think to break her fall with her hand instead, so she showed me her wrist swollen right up. I feel terrible now :)
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)
I'm sneezyStupid fucking hayfever.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:37,
archived)
And i have the day off.Ha.
(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:46,
archived)
I've recorded itI saw a clip the other that had me in stitches where the woman said "Go and fetch a dustpan and brush I've your back all over my legs"
(
Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:40,
archived)
Had me hooked right from the start with the letter writing scene.(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:48,
archived)
I liked it.It was disturbing. I like things that are disturbing and make me laugh.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:45,
archived)
My car is shitmisfiring and overrevving, incredibly slow to accelerate, the coolant keeps evapourating (no leak as far as I can tell), and the engine cuts out when I'm slowing down for roundabouts etc.
Google suggests electrical fault needing a new ECB and new coils :( I don't know what this means
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:55,
archived)
coolant can't evaporateit's a sealed system
either you've got a leak, or you've blown the head gasket between the cooling channels and one of the cylinders.
EDIT - it's not a Fiat is it? If so, you've probably blown one of the coils and taken the ECU with it. Really common. You can GAZ me if you want any advice
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:00,
archived)
sounds expensive :o( it's only a 51 plate tooServes me right for buying a Clio I guess
EDIT: yeah cheers will send you a gaz
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04,
archived)
Stalling when decelleratingcan also sometimes mean that there is a leak somewhere in the vacuum.
(
turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:03,
archived)
Unless it's 20+ years onlyit won't have a vacuum advance on it. ECUs removed the need for that, along with the need for distributors
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:05,
archived)
Demon Internet are behaving like idiots againSending invoices for random charges, that I know nothing of.
Can anybody recomend a decent ADSL service, that also gives me a static IP address*, and is not overly expensive.
* I need static IP address as dyndns wont work with some of the things I need to do
(
turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:57,
archived)
urgh some of my Outreach Centres are using Demonthey have a habit of cutting the internet off, even when we have actually paid the invoice. It takes several hours of phone calls before they'll look at their screen and say.."oh yes, sorry you have" and turn it back on again
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:02,
archived)
Whilst eating my brekkie this morningI had itv3 on (dont ask , was just channel hopping)
and this came on..
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF9nkpVHzrY
Made me feel old as the original aired in 1989!
I was 16 then.
never thought they would put it back on the telly, thought it would just now reside on youtube.
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:02,
archived)
I was 6 then.I wonder if this is a clever ploy to get around the "Don't advertise sweets to kids" thing?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:04,
archived)
hmm, so you're 26oh, well i wasn't THAT far off
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:08,
archived)
CRIPESi'm 25 in october. whatever age i am is always the best age to be
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:14,
archived)
there's a + or - 2 year tolerance for being the bestso you're ok!
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:16,
archived)
I WAS RIGHT. OYU ARE THE SAME AGE AS ME.13 DAYS OLDER THOUGH, OLDIE.
(
RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:37,
archived)
oh i burned my cds yesterday and wrote out tracklists.i can't get to the post office till at least tomorrow though. Maybe monday.
(
sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:06,
archived)
AND I RECEIVED MY SECOND CD yesterday too.8 pence short on postage, HMMM.
DID NOT CONTAIN PORNOGRAPHY.
(
sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:07,
archived)
i have still only recieved onei sent mine all out recorder delivery as well
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)
yee!i sent yours yesterday evening. i've sent out 10 and received 1
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:09,
archived)
i have 7 to send. SEVEN. my hand ached writing out the lists, and it'll probably be illegible.(
sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:12,
archived)
yeah, writing is difficult nowi blame computers
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:15,
archived)
also i was leaning on my knee instead of on a table, and it was a softback pad so no support.POOR ME.
(
sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:16,
archived)
i rested on a thick magazineTHIS IS EXCELLENT BANTER
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:17,
archived)
it advertised to the child in meand they were bloody annoyed as they were hungry
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:17,
archived)
This advert made me steal a minibus(
Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:04,
archived)
I was 4I had just started primary school.
(
Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:08,
archived)
Ohh I loved that advert!I still sing it when I buy a milkyway
(
Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:08,
archived)
I was the same age,And had the same reaction.
Its almost time to start smelling of wee and collecting the pension, isn't it?
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)
pardon?nurse! the bag needs changing again!
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:16,
archived)
best advert everryan giggs, ryan giggs, running down the wing
oh wait
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)
I get my final degree marks todayI have been losing sleep over it for the last two weeks which is totally irrational, as there is nothing I can do now to change the result.
What do you get yourself all worked up about without good cause?
(
Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:30,
archived)
Might have to go and see that this weekend then(
Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:38,
archived)
Speak to Karl Hysteria.He loved it, by all accounts.
(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:44,
archived)
I quite enjoyed the first oneIt was a decent no-brain summer action movie. I guess this one will be more of the same.
(
Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:46,
archived)
anyone who goes to wathc transformers expecting it to be a good film with a good plot and some intelligence in it is a foolIt's all about giant alien robots fighting with explosions and lots of CGI, that's all I care about.
And seeing my boys near pass out with excitement, cause they don't care about the plot.
(
Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:49,
archived)
i have no problem with splodey action filmsbut i wish this one wasn't associated with transformers. i really don't like how the new ones look in robot form. never mind though, eh?
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:50,
archived)
they're pointy and uglyproblem is i love G1 transformers.
it's not as if they couldn't have made cool cgi ones that look like the old ones. like this devastator that someone made:
www.risestudio.com/javier/devastator.jpg
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:56,
archived)
I have just bought the G1 on DVD for little sp@m so we watch the new animated one everymorningand then we are watching the G1 on DVD just before story at bedtime. Soundwave is in revenge of the fallen so I am really hoping they have done his voice justice as it's awesome in the cartoons.
(
Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:58,
archived)
COR!www.amazon.co.uk/Transformers-Complete-Generation-One-Collection/dp/B000HCO59S/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1245398330&sr=8-2
I wish I had got this, they've only got series one in Asda.
(
Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:59,
archived)
we watched the five episodes called 'the five faces of darkness' last nightit was ace. my housemate has ALL of the dvds
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:02,
archived)
I've seen them whilse browsingI'll have to look out for them
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Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:07,
archived)
When people post things on here I disagree with.I mash my palms into the keyboard in an impotent rage.
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Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:32,
archived)
Give us an exampleof something that somebody has disagreed with you about.
(
turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:33,
archived)
This post, it annoys me.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:40,
archived)
Ooh, why i djhgfajhad and saduiofhtjfgjdsfhj*shakes fist*
I'm so worked up, I can hardlrtlylrt getgatrdsl my....
(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:44,
archived)
Ooh.*goes off to eat*
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Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:50,
archived)
Far too much.I panic a lot about things. I'm very good at talking myself out of doing things because I'm convinced I'll either make a cock of myself or that it'd just be better for all concerned if I didn't do it or go or whatever. LOLMENTAL. Anyway, good luck today love. I'm sure you'll have done fabulously
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:35,
archived)
Thanks!Unless things have all gone terribly wrong in my exams there shouldn't be too much cause for concern.
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Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:37,
archived)
Ones he left at my house when he came to visitlast month. I keep forgetting to post them. I'm a bad bad person.
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:49,
archived)
Hello sweetheart.Otheg than headphoneless, how're you?
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:52,
archived)
not too bad,my skin is already a bit red from the hot sun while i put the laundry out on the line
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:56, archived)
stupid sony ericsson onesso rather than buy a cheap pair i have to spend a bit more on stupid branded mobilephone ones, so im waiting for bluestara to post them
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)
Is this the reason you never had your whicked way with me behind the bike sheds?Because I gotta tell you, your fears were probably justifide.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:57,
archived)
Supercooledhe has to avoid jarring himself or he'll suddenly freeze.
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Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:54,
archived)
Oh. I've remembered what makes me panic.Demonic sexually-ambiguous dwarfs.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:42,
archived)
Oh Shambles.Sadface, ON THE BUS
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:44,
archived)
Any lolmentals flocking to you on there today?(
Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:45,
archived)
Not yet.Still got about 20 minutes for them to come over and freak me out.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:47,
archived)
Too slow, already done this one.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:42,
archived)
oh, y'know. stuff.in other news, i have just got into work to discover that i actually have today off. i am a bit of a thicky.
going to stay now and have a different friday off instead.
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:42,
archived)
no it's a perfectly easy mnnnnngistake to make!damn!
(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:48,
archived)
I have to go to work todaybut not till a bit later on. It is also 'dress down Friday' which is a stupid idea as we don't have to wear a suit or tie in the office anyway!
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Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:44,
archived)
One of the girls started that in my office as wellI'm still not sure why.
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Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:46,
archived)
Yep, my boss has just introduced a new 'get out of jail free card' too.Each time you do something stupid in the office you used to put a pound went into the beer kitty. If you do something well you now get a 'get out of jail free card' you can trade a card instead of paying up.
Honsetly it is like being at primary school.
(
Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:49,
archived)
if i were to dress down any more, i'd be coming to work in my dressing gown and slippers(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:51,
archived)
Become self employedWhen I asked my Dad what the best thing about working for yourself at home was, he replied: 'Speaking to important and influential people whilst watching telly in your pants'
My dad is a little odd.
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Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:57,
archived)
You beardy twat(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:46,
archived)
sigh, i knowin other other news. i sent your randomburn yesterday
i've sent out 10 discs in all!
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manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:49,
archived)
Stupid bitch at workAlthough it's not completely without good cause as she is an utter twat. I also tend to always think of the worst outcome for things and then get all panicky about it.
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Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:45,
archived)
I get my final degree result on Wednesday.I'm well scared.
And I have a job interview this morning.
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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:47,
archived)
Good luck with the interview and results!I'm temping at the moment which is soul crushingly dull.
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Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:51,
archived)
I worry about the things I shouldn't, I couldn't give a toss about the things I should.On one hand, I don't care about the fact that I'll probably book myself into the local hospital today, on the other hand, I get really worked up trying to find out what to have for dinner... every meal time.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:00,
archived)
We need a new thread.Suggest a subject for this one.
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Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 7:55,
archived)
Who's your favourite Muppet?Miss Piggy looks like a roight dorty hooer
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Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 7:58,
archived)
BeakerOr swedish chef
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Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:04,
archived)
you guys must have loved this one thenwww.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU
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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:14,
archived)
That's ace as is thiswww.youtube.com/watch?v=prgm4eKq6d4
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Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:39,
archived)
firm favourites.I always felt sorry for Beaker.
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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:10,
archived)
The Swedish chef terrified me.Still does a bit. I like Rolf and Dr Teeth and The Electric Mayhem.
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:32,
archived)
The original muppet film is still funny after all these years.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:32,
archived)
Uncle Deadlyor Crazy Harry
but I did this facebook quiz which said I was most like Statler & Waldorf
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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:08,
archived)
Oooh please could we have a thread where people argue about whether Windows,Linux or Mac is best please. Alternatively an argument about whether PS3 or Xbox 360 is best. I believe either of these discussions would be groundbreaking and have not previously taken place on teh internet.
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C, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 7:59,
archived)
All computers suckI am doing this via an abacus connected to my phone via a piece of hairy string.
It only crashes when someone trips over the string.
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bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:01,
archived)
Luddite.
I'm using a steam powered arithmetics engine connected to the internet via a telegram port.
(
C, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:04,
archived)
I'm shouting beeps at a telegraph pole.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:12,
archived)
i wonder if you could train a mynah bird to handshake over PPP and order bird food off amazonit'd be an information revolution if you could
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spacefish bong!, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:17,
archived)
I've upgraded my mynah birdto one of these.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:22,
archived)
I always laugh, when someone claims their thing is better for whatever reasons.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:06,
archived)
Championing a company that is ultimately only interested in your cash does some ever so slightly retarded eh?BTW M$ XBOX SUX
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:10,
archived)
You suck$ M$ is the be$t(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:21,
archived)
5TFU n00b P$3 0WN5(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:24,
archived)
I closed my eyes, so I didn't see that.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:41,
archived)
I think RiscOSis better than all of Windows, Linux and Mac.
(
turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:32,
archived)
I think you should just shut up.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:41,
archived)
HATS OR BATS?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:00,
archived)
Bat in a hat sporting a cravat.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:11,
archived)
acrobats(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:24,
archived)
Apfelstrudel?(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:30,
archived)
Don't suppose anyone knows anyone hiring Project Managers / Technical Support Analysts in London?Bit of a weird place to post but I'm trying everything at the moment. I know there are a lot of technical types here, if anyone knows of anything or would even be happy to give my CV a once over then I'd really appreciate it. A lot to ask, but I know there are a lot of helpful people here. Gaz me if you're interested in helping with my CV or anything else.
Cheers,
John
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 5:03, archived)
Mark, the wolves are at the doooorrrr(
executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 5:04,
archived)
i worked as a pm for a few years in londonmy advice for any cv is lie. Claim skills that you don't have, claim responsibility for projects you had little or nothing to do with, make up a fictitious job history, try and think of the ultimate person they would be looking for and become that person.
more specifically:
use the word successfully a lot. e.g. I successfully delivered this complex project under time and budget. I successfully applied agile methodology to my production teams.
Ive noticed that PM work seems to be getting a lot more industry specific, they want someone who has been managing an almost identical project. So tell them you have and gamble on them being clueless or too lazy to check, which employers often are
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 5:13,
archived)
Don't forget to attach a passport photo of a supermodel(
WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 7:02,
archived)
I dunno. NHS jobs?I finally plucked up the interest to fill in the 10,000 question application form for one of their jobs a week ago.
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Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 6:39,
archived)
Wow! That sounds interesting.Tell me more about
A) Project Managment
B) The dole.
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WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 7:00,
archived)
helpful people? here?when did this happen and why wasn't i informed?
(
Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 7:34,
archived)
You are a sexual offence.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:34,
archived)
If you were a sexual offencewhat would you be? Personally I'd say I was an awkward tickle of a nipple
(
Sammo, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:37,
archived)
I'd be the accidental fart during orgasm.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:38,
archived)
Ooh awkwardNot too sure that's actually an offence though, I wouldn't mind it.
(
Sammo, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:39,
archived)
I forgot to mention that is was surprise sex.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:40,
archived)
Did you forget to shout surprise or something?(
hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 4:21,
archived)
The surprise was that it was something long enough to make a dent(
executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 5:25,
archived)
yeah, but she loves it(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 4:59,
archived)
judas!(
Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:49,
archived)
Are you that deaf ugly one?(
mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:33,
archived)
It's ok, we're safe!(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:34,
archived)
that's right funny that is, picking on the deaf one & thatlol
(
broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:41,
archived)
I hope this night of picking on people who aren't around to defend themselves never ends(
broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:43,
archived)
maybe one day, and gosh! I can but hope, I will have the wit of the cowardly fucker who makes jokes about people when they aren't around(
broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:46,
archived)
you should probably go to bed nowyou're about as funny as aids
(
Sammo, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:48,
archived)
But... AIDS is always funny!*12 seconds of confusion*
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:51,
archived)
Seems like I'm leaving you on your own nowbut you're a bit of a star. G'night and sweet dreams!
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Sammo, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:52,
archived)
Is nice!High five!
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:55,
archived)
We just need you to leave in that case :-p(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:44,
archived)
Just because she's deaf doesn't mean she's not a thick ignorant cunt.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 4:28,
archived)
I love the night.The day's OK and the sun can be fun, but I live to see those rays slip away.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 4:02, archived)
Because I was in the pub, and it just ended up this way.I went for a walk.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 4:27,
archived)
because I'm haunted by the ghost of bank holiday past(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 4:58,
archived)
I live far, far away....Woo......
(
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 6:02,
archived)
Yeah, threads and stuff.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:25,
archived)
lame!(
Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:25,
archived)
One good thing, no matter how shit I end up being tonightthere will always have been someone (Golly Snogs) shitter.
(
broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:26,
archived)
fuck yeah!(
Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:27,
archived)
oh Esme, you're only saying that because you're dull and you need internet attention(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:26,
archived)
I hate you, you're so mean to me.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:29,
archived)
*rides in on the horse of shining pander**slaps about face with the gauntlet of justice*
*wonders whats on telly*
(
broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:29,
archived)
I AM GOING FOR A WALKBYE
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:30,
archived)
I AM GOING TO BED(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:30,
archived)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:31,
archived)
Now you're left with people like me.SUFFER.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:32,
archived)
I'm back from uniIt's party time woooooooo yeah omgz wooooooooo parteeeeh (in my pants)
(
Sammo, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:38,
archived)
Hmmhow can you not mean to offend when calling someone a twat, surely that makes you the socially awkward twat?
(
Sammo, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:42,
archived)
You're in a shit mood.Get some sleep.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:42,
archived)
don't forget to take your legs!(
Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 3:30,
archived)
If you've got the money, honey, then maybe.(
Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 5:19,
archived)
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