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I got bandwagonned
on the main board

www.madnesstemple.com/images/gallery/28

original pic is in profile...
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:50, archived)

And youre advertising it?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:51, archived)

right

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:51, archived)

A 'next' button would be nice.

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:51, archived)

nice car
though you don't look old enough to drive
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:53, archived)

~~drive~~ walk
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:56, archived)

ln
(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:58, archived)

Bloody hell,
the last one's a bit good!
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:57, archived)

new Bev or old Bev?

/EDIT I'm thinking the well scrubbed up old version.
(

thegoose, quietly backs out of the room hoping no one noticed, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:45, archived)

Kev?!

(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:45, archived)

Big Kev?
/reference that none of you will get
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:47, archived)

We've always wanted one of these

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:47, archived)

huh?

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:47, archived)

I like bevels, but you can't beat a good doves-tail

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:49, archived)

Bev's sister.

(

Randomgazz, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:52, archived)

with Bev watching?

(

thegoose, quietly backs out of the room hoping no one noticed, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:54, archived)

In her nurses outfit.

(

Randomgazz, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:55, archived)

aha! But which Bev?

(

thegoose, quietly backs out of the room hoping no one noticed, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:57, archived)

That one.

(

Randomgazz, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:57, archived)

Pfft
This is a right laugh.
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:40, archived)

Jack Chick is the greatest!

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:42, archived)

God keeps records!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:43, archived)

I wonder if he has Dark Side of the Moon?

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:44, archived)

Nah
Only gays like Pink Floyd, thats why its 'pink' floyd...
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:47, archived)

only if its douched first

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:48, archived)

Nuh-uh,
I don't like Pink Floyd.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:48, archived)

Well no
you're not properly gay my friend

you are allowed to like Depech mode
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:49, archived)

Depeche Mode have a tune called Big Muff*,
and are therefore not gay (although being an 80s synth-pop act, they were obliged to pretend to be).

*100% fact.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:59, archived)

Piss off,
you uphill gardner
(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:56, archived)

Faaaack orf!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:58, archived)

They seem to have forgotten about
songs like "Like a Rat"...they can't be helping either...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:44, archived)

Is that your first Green Day-related post today?

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:48, archived)

She flicks her bean to Greenday
We have video proof
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:48, archived)

really?
[email protected]
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:50, archived)

Err no
Shes 17 and that would be illegal

Meet me out back in five minutes
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:53, archived)

Hur hur,
'seminaries'!
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:45, archived)

pah, words,
why couldn't he have stuck with cartoons
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:45, archived)

Presentations
I am giving a talk next week, and want to add subliminal messages to some of the slides. Any ideas?
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:25, archived)

CDC
and norks
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:26, archived)

ALL YOUR...
...actually, never mind.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:26, archived)

GAY

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:31, archived)

are you?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:32, archived)

ALL YOUR GAY

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:32, archived)

Are bummed by us

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:33, archived)

SOMEONE SET UP US THE BUM!!

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:34, archived)

WE GET SIGNAL!!

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:35, archived)

MAIN SCREEN TURN ME ON!

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:39, archived)

What does that have to do with bumming?
You haven't been paying attention, have you?
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:39, archived)

You try and get 'WE GET SIGNAL!!' to have something to do with bumming.

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:42, archived)

WE GET BUMMING SIGNAL!!

See?
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:43, archived)

you can have it, I'm becoming a lesbian

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:33, archived)

what about it?

(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:40, archived)

Something about stoats and bumming
Woat will give you the details.
(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:26, archived)

www.luridfridge.com/sleaze070.htm
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:28, archived)

she's got no nipples

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:31, archived)

You've obviously not read the title

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:31, archived)

well yes
but she has norks. just with no nipples on
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:33, archived)

Norks without nipples
are pointless.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:35, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/621616
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:35, archived)

'tis blocked by websense
Shoudl I be glad of this?
(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:35, archived)

You miss out sir

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:37, archived)

Cocks

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:27, archived)

Use the phrase
'new direction' (as it sounds like nude erection) a lot.
And phallic flowcharts.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:27, archived)

Oooh and use the word 'solution' for everything

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:28, archived)

?
I'm not sure I understand that one.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:28, archived)

Because
it's the solution.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:30, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/621607
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:30, archived)

Especially in the sense of 'final'.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:36, archived)

program them to respond to a secret code word
which makes them do your every bidding.

then shag the fit ones.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:28, archived)

Right I'm off home.
NN all - sweet dreams.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:28, archived)

Kettle drum spingle trout
says "Bye bye".
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:30, archived)

You sir
are a fucking nutter.

*shakes hand*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:31, archived)

BYE!
I@m going HOMJE
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:32, archived)

JE O
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:35, archived)

promote world peace and harmony using pictures of fluffy bunnies and kitten with balls of string

then conquer them
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:28, archived)

You are tired

(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:29, archived)

I am tired

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:35, archived)

Told you
it works.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:42, archived)

You'll have to do it Derren Brown style...
www.snopes.com/business/hidden/popcorn.asp
(

Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:31, archived)

I love it brown style.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:38, archived)

from within that article
"the experience of a woman baking a cake could be likened to a woman giving birth."
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:44, archived)

Hanna Barbera werent sure if shaggies replacement was the best role-model
www.luridfridge.com/drug004.htm
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:25, archived)

she'll be fine,
there seem to be scrotums covering each cup
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:27, archived)

Since all my friends are pisswimps
anyone fancy cycling up Leith hill at the weekend ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:57, archived)

If I can use my motorbike
then maybe.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:59, archived)

You could do
but I dont reckon it'd be in one peice after an hour.

There's a good pub up there though.

And wild stoats with loose morals.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:01, archived)

What is this "Though" of theirs that they have a pub up?

(

Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:05, archived)

"up which they have a pub"
shirley
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:10, archived)

Indeed.

(

Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:14, archived)

?
www.pinkbike.com/photo/254/pbpic254612.jpg
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:04, archived)

awwwwwwwwww
bless :D
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:06, archived)

Hehehehe I want one :D

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:08, archived)

Naw,
his isn't that butch.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:09, archived)

Id be forced to agree
edit: this one then? www.highrollersra.com/New%20Pictures/poker%20run%2005/bike%202%20girls.jpg
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:11, archived)

Unfortunately
that is the kind of bike that makes you gay, no matter how many bikini-clad birds you have draped over it
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:14, archived)

bah
that's far too big to look at
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:15, archived)

I think you'll find
thats what she sai.... Nah
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:16, archived)

That's what my last girlfriend said

_{may not contain 100% truth}
(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:17, archived)

Was she talking about your arse
or your moobs?
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:18, archived)

I'll have you know that my arse is quite pert.
well, relatively speaking.

Compared to say, something very large.

*stands next to Mykey to appear thin*
(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:20, archived)

You know, if your deathwish were any stronger
I'd expect you to have a livejournal
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:21, archived)

Rofl!
best laugh of the day - ta :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:23, archived)

it beat the one about the
bahwoons?

that was my favourite*

*though that was funny.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:27, archived)

This free sperm your username speaks of
is it the sailors jizz that's leaking out your arse ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:30, archived)

Nice. I think.
I can't fit all of it on my screen, and it's very squashed.

I was thinking more like this:
www.gayorlando.com/gosports/images/bicycle_150.jpg
(came up in search for "gay bike")
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:16, archived)

Shut it
cockmuncher
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:11, archived)

Now then Uncle Fenris
Dont oppress him!

You slaaaaaaag
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:15, archived)

I think he likes it really
It's not oppression if they love it?
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:21, archived)

*invades poland*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:22, archived)

~~land~~ o
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:27, archived)

Calrissian?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:28, archived)

You only say that
because you luuuuuuuuurve him.
(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:15, archived)

That
is true ;)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:18, archived)

Yes.
You love him up the anal.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:19, archived)

Anal bot shags

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:28, archived)

IT'S A GIRL'S BIKE! YOU CAN TELL 'COS THE CROSSBAR'S REEEALLY LOOOW.
I'M RIDING MY BIKE INTO TOWN!
(

Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:08, archived)

Double U Tee Eff?

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:09, archived)

www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Strawberry+Pancakes/
(

Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:10, archived)

Arf :)
I've not been there for a while :D
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:13, archived)

bah, Dobsky
www.b3ta.com/talk/621521
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:14, archived)

Went straight to the most entertaining 404 page in the world

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:19, archived)

grah, I seem to have spacky fingers today

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:21, archived)

~~up leith hill at~~ my sweaty minge
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:59, archived)

"anyone fancy cycling my sweaty minge the weekend"?
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:01, archived)

Erm, no
but thanks for the offer.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:03, archived)

I was pointing out to him
that his strikethrough doesn't make sense
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:05, archived)

Oh really?
I had assumed you were offering the entire board a rather unpleasant sexual service.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:09, archived)

~~no but thanks~~
skipple twang froocky doocky woo woo woo kipper-headed rancid foiled munchkin
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:05, archived)

You've made
"...cycling my sweaty minge weekend..."

You arent very good at this are you ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:02, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/621525
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:02, archived)

Pffft!
Top linkage action there, dude.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:05, archived)

Please use 'pisswimp'
only in the correct context.

/head pisswimp
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:00, archived)

I thought it just meant
pissy and wimpy.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:04, archived)

Nope.
It means unable to piss at public urinals.
Mr Tea started calling me it a while back when he found out I have to use cubicles.
(See my profile for more faskinating details)
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:10, archived)

I'm a semi pisswimp;
I'm not really able, but make a valiant effort nonetheless.
For a while it helped to imagine the last slosh I'd had, but that wore off. Now, thanks to an episode of Scrubs, imagining Donald Faison's face helps.
Yes.
(

Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:13, archived)

it's not sharing thursday for nearly seven hours

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:15, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/621566
(

Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:17, archived)

I hope they'll be the longest ones ever

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:17, archived)

Welcome to half the club.
*presents you with half a badge, half a membership card and half a news letter; the half with the vowels on it*
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:17, archived)

Thnk yc!

(

Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:20, archived)

For once
I actually want a bbc news link. It's the video clip of all the french fuckers waiting to celebrate as the envelope gets opened.

biscuit for the first one.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

The fellows over at
news.bbc.co.uk might be able to help
/obvious
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:51, archived)

Wow! That website's cool.
What do they do, collate news clippings from other news websites and put them all in one place, or something?
*bookmarks*
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:59, archived)

*sniffs*
'My god O'Reilly! Its pure uncut sarcasm!'
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:10, archived)

I reckon it'll be shown endlessly on TV tonight.
Some smirking halfwit will introduce it with "...and in contrast, the French Bid party turned into a damp squib *footage of disappointed French people* when the bid winner was announced..."
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:06, archived)

I've been doing
work for a solid hour and a half.
Somebody help me recover.
*pushes jadeviper out of her sick bed*
*takes her place*
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:39, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/621387

I meant no disrespect :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:41, archived)

~~dis~~
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:42, archived)

/jabberjaw
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

Having spazzed back...
No offence taken.
However, I wouldn't do anything so obvious. I'd hope I'd be able to come up with something odderer than that.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/621422
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:41, archived)

Is that relevant ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

I'm not in my sick bed just now
though I'll be going back there at some point
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:42, archived)

~~doing work for a~~
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:43, archived)

Syntax error
you've got to think these strikethroughs through properly or you just look like a cunt.

Cunt
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:45, archived)

This
"I've been solid hour and a half" makes no sense.
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

fucks sake, use your imagination,

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:49, archived)

*stares blankly*
*pokes tongue out*
*dribbles*
Mnnngh
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:50, archived)

There is much sloppiness
in the use of the strikethrough.

And in my stools.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:49, archived)

meh,

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:51, archived)

sloppiness
in the use of

anchovies
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:54, archived)

*appaluds*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:56, archived)

good strikethrough gag
*awards pink wafer-type biscuit*

edit: they are right. *forcefully takes back biscuit*
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

noooo, it's all soggy now

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:54, archived)

I have
7 years to get mong certification, so I can live my dream and become a spackolympic athlete.
(

sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:30, archived)

It'll take
two days to sort the exam out and you have already passed, now fuck off.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

Fair point

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

Shouldn't take you that long. ;)

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

or you could just
throw yourself off the roof and break your spine
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

hahaha
this
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:33, archived)

Or I could take my
top off for attention, and be like you.
(

sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:34, archived)

Oooh
the battle is joined.

But you are pre-pubescent and Welsh so I know where my support is going
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:35, archived)

JV's Boobs ?
If you get tired......
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:39, archived)

i'm reminded of the
story of atlas...
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:44, archived)

Or that one out of Goonies
Near the end..
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

That's your mum
that is.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

I'm going to tell
her you said that. Then I shall set her on you.

Last man who pissed me off she called a pudding, in her sternest tone of voice. Mad bint.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:53, archived)

Says the Radio 4 listening,
cagoule hoarding one.

I think I may regret sending you my new address.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:56, archived)

Haha
She's lovely, and pretty hot, if I do say so myself :D

Think that's been up long enough now ;)
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:58, archived)

Very nice :)
I shall now spend the rest of the day photoshopping her face onto hardcore porn.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:00, archived)

So long
as I never have to see that, ever.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:02, archived)

And then you'll flickr it to the usual place
I assume?
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:03, archived)

Of course :)
Bring the economy jar of vaseline intensive care
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:05, archived)

That sounds like treatment
for people who've wanked themselves into a coma...

(note single m in coma.)
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:11, archived)

HAHAHAHA!
I would! Phwoar! Woof woof! Et cetera.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:13, archived)

your mum's fab
I want to buy her a VW Campervan
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:57, archived)

tits, personality and a sense of humour
vs. lippy Tory boy. Tough call.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:42, archived)

and if he wasn't pre-pubescent and Welsh
you'd have to think about it? :P
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

I'd have to make sure I was being fair and not just cliquey
but with those 2 handicaps of his I am fairly happy I made the right choice :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:50, archived)

2 handicaps ?
Like a deafy and a spacker ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:53, archived)

1) pre-pubescent
2) Welsh

Do keep up
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:55, archived)

Why can't you get it now?

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:32, archived)

Just go to the Post Office
and talk to them for a bit, you'll be sorted.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:34, archived)

Why are mongs fat?
I'm not being nasty, only curious, but why do people with Down's Syndrome always seem to be overweight?
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:35, archived)

They have problems
getting gym memberships
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:36, archived)

So they can hold loads of
bahwoons without floating away.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:37, archived)

WINNAR!

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:40, archived)

*snort*
(obesity and diabetes are two common side-effects of bahwoon syndrome /dull answer)
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:42, archived)

Is the diabetes
directly linked with the syndrome or is it just due to the obesity?
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:44, archived)

Are you swotting up to become a mongologist,
or something?
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:51, archived)

it's directly linked
or rather there is a greater prevalance of diabetes mellitus (non-porky diabetes) in mongs

(for the avoidance of doubt I know this as a diabetic rather than somebody who has a lot of sex with mongs ... honest)
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:52, archived)

How bad is yours?
Insulin or diet controlled?
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:54, archived)

insulin
lots and lots of lovely lovely insulin

(it's not "bad" ... I can do pretty much anything ... I'm just slightly more conscious of my mortality and the fact that if I don't get hit by a bus then I'll go blind and have my legs chopped off at some point)

(oh ... and I have to stick needles in myself fifty times a week)
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:58, archived)

Addicts are so fucking selfish. I suppose the NHS pays for all this?
People really should think twice before trying insulin; once you're hooked you're on it for life.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:02, archived)

It does indeed.
I am the king of free prescriptions.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:04, archived)

Shitty deal
sorry to hear it :(
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:03, archived)

piffle and tosh
that's very kind but I'm generally fucking ace so there are a bzillion people more deserving of sympathy
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:07, archived)

Is this linked
to this?
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:10, archived)

oddly enough no
my pancreas only fucked up quite late
so I got to go through childhood eating all the shite that normal kids eat
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:13, archived)

Serious answer
is that it's one of the symptoms of the chromosomal disorder; it also makes them happier than normal. Depression is practically unheard of.

B3ta/talk answer - it's because they steal all the jelly and custard from the other kids at the party.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:40, archived)

Ah, that's interesting.
Thanks.

And who in fuck has custard with jelly?
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:42, archived)

Custard with jelly was the only pleasure kids had in the seventies.
(apart from regret-free sex with catholic priests ... obviously)
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

In the
early eighties we upgraded to evaporated milk. I still feel slightly deprived.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

cooo! sweet
(I could admit to having eaten condensed milk sandwiches as a child ... but then you'd all point and laugh at the scrubber)
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:53, archived)

I bet your mum gave you turkey dinoburgers on Fridays
as a special treat.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:56, archived)

I'm a bit too old for dinoburgers
it was all findus crispy pancakes in my day

(and my mum is an uber-cook so we only had those at properly chav friends' houses)
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 17:00, archived)

Because their parents who had them aged 55
feel guilty that they didnt get round to it when they were young enough to have healthy children and overindulge them to compensate.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:41, archived)

ooo
that's quite harsh even for you
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:43, archived)

it's harsh Wednesday
Especially if you're French.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

Or are planning to live in London in 2012

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:50, archived)

A part of the condition is a tendency to be slightly overweight
However, the condition also makes the face appear rounder - giving the impression of being more overweight than they actually are.

Some people with mild Downs Syndrome do take pride in their appearance and join gyms/partake in excercise and, as a consequence are built like brick shit houses.

/works with people with learning disabilities
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:43, archived)

True, that.
A mate of mine has a younger brother who is a quite a severe mong, and is RIDICULOUSLY strong. Even as a kid, he could push their dad around. He was like Blaster in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:49, archived)

They scare the shit out of their care workers
when they throw a tantrum, though.

HULK SMASH!
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:55, archived)

Being not reknowned for their intelligence, they derive a lot of pleasure from eating
without being burdened by the knowlegde that it'll make them fat.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:43, archived)

i'm not sure gimping
is an olympic event.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:39, archived)

you'd probably be sued by whoever makes southpark long before that

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:40, archived)

I'm waiting for clients to visit work
what do you guys and gals do to pass the time when waiting for clients ? .... apart from wanking of obviously...
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:19, archived)

shoot up, avoid the police and my pimp

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:20, archived)

Licking up my own
sexual discharge
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:20, archived)

not other peoples ?
You've never lived.
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:21, archived)

Are you a dog ?
*stiffens*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:21, archived)

"...no?"
"Then...DIE!"
*zaps"
"Ray, when someone asks you if you're a dog, you say 'YES!'"
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:25, archived)

That film
is older than 65% of the people posting here.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:26, archived)

I was 3 when it came out.
And I love it with my heart and soul.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:27, archived)

I was eight
and I saw it in the pictures
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:28, archived)

It must have been re-released, because I saw it at the piccies on my (seventh?) birthday.
Loved it ever since.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

1984
according to IMDb though I suppose that could have been 1985 before it was shown here
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:32, archived)

Nah, I was definitely old enough to see it and appreciate it,
so it must have been shown again a few years after it came out.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:38, archived)

So young!
*refuses to mention my age*
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:29, archived)

~~age~~ catalogue of cock infections
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

*smears you in the face with a slimy bellend*
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:32, archived)

*Laughs mockingly while watching you molest my doppelganger*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:34, archived)

And the reason
why my generation smoke :D
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:27, archived)

Nope I'm blaming that on Die Hard
peer pressure and Humphrey Bogart
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:28, archived)

Hah hah, so true!
It's got to be the last Hollywood family movie in which people who aren't loners, psychopaths or hired killers smoke.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:33, archived)

which film?
care to enlighten those of us who've clearly never lived?
(teasus likes tea, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:28, archived)

Ghost Busters
FFS!
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:29, archived)

Tis Ghostbusters
And the quote in question referred to a god, rather than a dog..
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:30, archived)

haha, you're all old

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:28, archived)

I was eight when it came out
alas, I missed, probably for a number of reasons, but mainly as my dad died that year. :o(
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:29, archived)

Did you bury the VHS player with him ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:32, archived)

Hahaha
Bad bad Woat!
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:33, archived)

It's how you like me
*flounces*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:36, archived)

We couldn't afford one
a player let alone the tape
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:36, archived)

This thread could get grim
quickly if it's taken too seriously....
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:38, archived)

Unless my maths is wrong
surely that should be "we couldn't afford the tape, not the player"?
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:38, archived)

*silent vibrating giggle*

I love this place
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:37, archived)

Listen !
You smell something ?
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:27, archived)

"What's in there?"
"Oh, that's the bedroom, but nothing ever happenned in there."
"What - a - crime..."
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:29, archived)

hurrah!!!
"doh....."
"ray....."
"Egon....."

:D
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:27, archived)

That
is possibly my favorite bit :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:30, archived)

Or the bit in the elevator when
they first switch on the backpack and all back away...
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

"...Do you have a hobby?"
"I collect spores, molds and fungus."
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:35, archived)

nah
the bits "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes!" and "doh, ray, Egon" are the funniest
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:36, archived)

Wotabout...
"Egon, I'm reminded of the time you tried to frill a hole in your head."
"Yes, and I would have succeeded if you hadn't stopped me."

or...

"Are you, Alice, menstruating?"
"I hardly see how trhat is relevant!"
"Back off, man, I'm a scientist."
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:40, archived)

what kind of girl do you think I am???
I don't have clients!
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:21, archived)

wipe bogies
on the chairs they will sit on.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:21, archived)

Talc my rubber up.

(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:22, archived)

Think of ways to kill them

(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:23, archived)

Finding new and exciting ways
to stimulate my prostate.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:23, archived)

#34: Extreme autofellatio

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:26, archived)

Wank
and time it so you spluff in their faces as they walk through the door.
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:23, archived)

but they are a couple of hours late
and I'm beggining to blister !
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:24, archived)

If the Big Brother house
were populated with b3ta/talk regulars :

Who would win.....

And who would get their tits out first.....
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:11, archived)

Jadeviper
for the 2nd part
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:12, archived)

only cos
I have to get mine out regularly for feeding purposes
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:17, archived)

*feeds*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:18, archived)

*suckles*

(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:18, archived)

Yeah
that's how they got posted all over the internet :P
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:19, archived)

well no
I can't even remember how that started. it was before I had a PC at home anyway
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:20, archived)

I think I know
how you paid for that PC though
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:22, archived)

that PC came out of a skip...
we finally chucked it out when we moved last year. it was a 386DX
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:25, archived)

Jadeviper would get her tits out first.
Winner? Hmmm... Comma? Then again, Comma would probably be both.
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:12, archived)

I love you, darling.

(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:14, archived)

Doc Shambles
on both counts
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:13, archived)

I would
and I wouldn't have them covered in the first place.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:13, archived)

Not with clothes anyway......

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:15, archived)

hoorah
is it wrong o'clock already?
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:18, archived)

It's always
wrong o'clock on b3ta.

*hands round fried monkey cocks and dip*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:22, archived)

I would,
because I would let Big Brother bum me until I bled.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:15, archived)

Actually
from what I have seen so far (very little) you're probably the most likely candidate purely because of your sexuality.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:25, archived)

Evil Lu would win
And Jadeviper would keep everyone distracted while she did.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:17, archived)

1. No one, because:
2. Comma.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:17, archived)

haha

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:18, archived)

hahahahaha
yes
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:18, archived)

Pffft
I can't believe you need to ask.

I reckon it'd be Flappers and Dr Poppers head to head to the final straits.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:18, archived)

I don't know
Baldmonkey running around and flinging his own faeces at the other contestants may keep him in the running for quite a while
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:21, archived)

I will
eat my own faeces to win a competition.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:22, archived)

We're talking
tits here, right?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:25, archived)

I have large
boyboobs if that is a starter.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:30, archived)

you two head to head?
you can borrow my bra to keep you together if you like
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:30, archived)

I'd win
because I'm unremarkable thus avoiding nominations.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:23, archived)

That's good for staying in a long time
but not for winning.
You'd need to suddenly start getting your tits out near the end, or something.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:29, archived)

I'm no whore,
I'll get my mimsy out first.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:38, archived)

I read this as
'Deal signed to put Olsens in space'. Oh well.
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

what do i say to this?
"don't worry, you were one letter out"?
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:04, archived)

I'm sure most people would like to see Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen in space though.

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:08, archived)

who?

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:09, archived)

oh good
thought I was old and missing a crucial down-wid-da-kidz cultural reference
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:10, archived)

The baby off the dodgy yank sitcom "Full House"
was played by a set of twins named Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

Now that they're young ladies looking to make some money to throw away, they have set themselves up as a "teen chick brand" and are quite filthy rich.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:14, archived)

strike out that last word
and I may become interested

(I know who they are now - identical shirleytemplebarbiedoll things? give me the shuddering fear)
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:17, archived)

If I saw them walking down the street,
I'd start to worry that I'd stumbled across The Village Of The Damned...
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:19, archived)

this
just googled. a blonde woman i don't know.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:11, archived)

(Lord Gibbon, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:15, archived)

Americas favourite jail bait

(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:13, archived)

i'd like to be in their space
fnarr fnarr
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:10, archived)

great, but is there any pictures of the olsens there?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:07, archived)

Do furries wank over things like
Tom & Jerry and Bugs Bunny, do you reckon?
(

Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:49, archived)

I dunno,
cos they don't actually feel furry, do they?
They just look like something that might be furry.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:52, archived)

The one I lived with
used to bum his Simba plushy.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:52, archived)

Is this thread
in greek or something ?

Have you all gone fucking mad ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

You lived with a furry?
Ouch.
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

Nice bloke,
but went a bit mad, after a while. Last time I saw him, he'd grown a full beard, painted and hazard warning symbol on his face and moved in with a terrified, Japanese girl.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

~~girl~~ dwarf rabbit
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:59, archived)

You lived with a furry?
Hahahaha [repeat to fade]
(

Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

Furry AND paedo?
Gosh.
(

Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:58, archived)

Pfft!
Before realising what he was up to, many of us had sat in his room and casually stroked the damn thing! Ick.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

So
you're not actually making this up then ?

Is he on a "furry" board somewhere telling other weirdo's about his "unbearably anaphile" ex flatmate I wonder......
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:04, archived)

You stroked another man's Simba?
You sick, twisted freak.
(

Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:05, archived)

Soft, yet (with hindsight) suspiciously crusty...
Was watching "Tank Girl" in his room at the time, a film which he seemed to enjoy far too much!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:13, archived)

I had one of those Simbas
I may have touched it inappropriately too.
(

Smokey Bacon Crisps smell good, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:15, archived)

Pfft!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:17, archived)

What the fuck is a furry ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

Someone who wanks over furry things
like cuddly toys and small animals.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

What on earth is wrong with people ?
Why the fuck would you get the horn over a cuddly toy ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:54, archived)

Because it feels so soft and nice...

(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

That
is not what I look for in my sex accessories, generally..
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:57, archived)

quack

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:57, archived)

I beg your pardon?
You pervert ;)
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:01, archived)

I didn't choose it :P

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:02, archived)

He hasn't left the
bathroom actually.

My latest purchase amused theflatmate no end however, and he even had a quick go before I put my foot down :D
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:05, archived)

O_o

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:06, archived)

Over
his T-shirt like.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:22, archived)

I dread to think
I though theflatmate was squeamish about all such things, particularly in relation to you?
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:07, archived)

He is, bless him
The first time he was exposed to bondage tape (or drunkenly tied to a banister by me and drunken Belfast lassies) he almost had a fit.

He's calmed down a bit :D
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:12, archived)

I think this comment
needs expanding.

*gets notebook and opens links page*
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:01, archived)

I was out Christmas shopping with the ratbag
and I asked her to help me find something for dekazer. she picked up a duck-shaped vibrator and said "Lucy needs this!" who was I to argue...
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:06, archived)

And we've
got that one preserved, and ready for the blackmail.
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:11, archived)

You prefer the cool touch of surgical steel
It's horses for courses really.
Or different strokes for different folks.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:59, archived)

So does a ladys minge
Sick bastards.

A cull is what we need.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:57, archived)

But if we did that, Somethingawful would run out of 63% of fodder.

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:59, archived)

62.975%
Try and be precise.
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:02, archived)

Quite. It'd just be Christian fundamentlaists and Tool/Radiohead fans left.
There's a fur shop near where I live called FURREX. I always imagine it as a product: "FURREX kills all known furries DEAD. 'I wouldn't use anything else' - Rich 'Lowtax' Kyanka'"
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:07, archived)

is teddy ruxpin
the thinking furry's crumpet?
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:57, archived)

That reminds me of a playgroundlaw entry.
Can't be arsed to dig up the url.
(

Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:59, archived)

how to end a subthread
by bobb todd.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:06, archived)

Emergency subthread resuscitation kit
Contents:

1x strikethrough gag
5x assorted *bums*
2x *belms*
15x tangential blether
9x assorted memes
1x links to BBC news (to be used only by authorised B3tans)
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:17, archived)

i have a pulse
*kills thread with spade*

FIN
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:23, archived)

Ignorance is bliss

(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

Check here:
www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1727

and particularly

www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2865&p=3
(

Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:58, archived)

People with a fetish for anthropomorphised (if that's the right word) animals.
The one I knew, was some sort of wolf-creature, in his spare time, and had a friend who liked nothing more than to be led about on a leash (which caused problems with the security down at the student union) and to eat curry from a dog food dish.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:59, archived)

Fucking hell, Giles!

(

Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

That would
be like Hentai to a furry....if your furry and a paedo then maybe you'd like Tom and Jerry Kids.
(

Beejay Proper old bastard, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

Best thing for people like that
is death.

In teh face
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

Nah, he was a nice guy. Only person I've ever met (outside of the internet)
who knew who Jeff Minter was (he went to interview him, and attempted to convert him to the furry way).
It's just a sex thing really - they have conventions where everyone turns up in costume, but it's all just a front for a massive rutting session. Furries seem to have an awful lot of sex.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:03, archived)

There is something fundamentally wrong with the universe if that last sentence is true.

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:05, archived)

Very true,
as far as I am aware, but only when one furry can find another. It could be that they just have lots of sex over short periods, then endure long, dry spells until the next convention.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:08, archived)

What's missing from the end of it is:
"...with other obese, mind-bogglingly unattractive sociopaths like themselves, that invaraibly leads to self-hatred, weeping and cutting."
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:14, archived)

That didn't seem to be the case,
although I never met any female furries.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:16, archived)

Tbh if it's safe, sane and consensual
people can do what they like. E.g. infantalism I find extremely distasteful but tbh there is nothing actually wrong with it so leave em to it I say.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:04, archived)

Err, until they rape your 2 year old son?

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:06, archived)

No no
that paedophilia. Infantilism is, for example, a grown man wanting to be dressed in a nappy and bottle fed..

Plus, a 2 year old is a child and by definition not capable of giving consent.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:09, archived)

No,
infantilism isn't the same as paedophilia.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:10, archived)

Ohhh.

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:10, archived)

I don't really know enough about either
to be able to argue very well, but paedophilia is the destruction and abuse of children, whereas infantilism is all about reliving childhood.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:12, archived)

I see a bright future for you
writing for the Daily Mail.

Anyone with alternative tastes is a kiddie fiddler, stands to reason, dunnit?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:12, archived)

He's only a little 'un
I think he just hadn't heard the term and tbh at 14 I very much doubt I had :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:16, archived)

Sane?
What's sanity got to do with sex?
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:07, archived)

But good God man, they are retarded with it.
i.somethingawful.com/mjolnir/images/docevil~05-08-05_15.gif
(

Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:09, archived)

"I am also starting to hate my human body more and more..."
Probably something to do with the fact that you're an eighteen stone lump of pale, sweaty, spotty lard?
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:20, archived)

I was being a bit Daily Mail there
As you say, they harm no one and it's their life to live as they choose.

Just makes you wonder what early childhood traumas you have to suffer to twist your sexuality in that direction.

Obviously being left under a sage tree and being adopted by a flock of goats has made me a well rounded, normal individual.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:09, archived)

Why?
As long as they're not shagging animals, children or anyone who doesn't consent, I don't see the problem.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:07, archived)

Must be
hard to get spunk out of nylon fur...
(

Beejay Proper old bastard, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:10, archived)

Saliva has
surprisingly powerful stain-removing properties.
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:13, archived)

I'm bored
Anyone else?
(Aquai, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

Shut up and wank.

(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:49, archived)

This.

(

Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

wank who?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:52, archived)

No.
Do what I'm doing, and try to find somewhere that sells Kulfi online, and delivers to Scotchland for Jadeviper.
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

woo :D
you can't buy it in the supermarket then?
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

Possibly.
Depends on how big the ethnic section is.

I'm not having much joy so far, though. You may have to look through your take away menus.
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

is it Indian?

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

You can get
pretty much every unusual sweet foodstuff within about a 10 minute walk from my office. Particularly Indian and Middle Eastern.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:58, archived)

What's "Kulfi"

(Aquai, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

Dalek ice cream

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:52, archived)

Woo....
Googles - "Darlek Ice Cream"
(Aquai, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

"Did you mean "Dalek Ice Cream"?"

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

erm....
Maybe/yes
(Aquai, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

A powdery Indian ice cream
The only Kulfi I've tasted was absolutely rank.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:54, archived)

Ermm....
How can u have a "powdery" ice cream :S You mean like halva?
(Aquai, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

I don't know what halva is
but powdery ice cream is:

Ice cream but with a powdery texture - as though it has chalk dust in it.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:58, archived)

I quite like mango kulfi
It'll taste bad if you're expecting it to taste like ice cream, because it doesn't.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:08, archived)

Try this...
Not real kulfi, but piss easy to make and dead nice.

2 tins evaporated milk
100g ground almonds
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
6 tablespoons caster sugar
2 tablespoons brandy

Whisk everything together, pour into a container, cover and freeze overnight. Remove from freezer 1/2 hour before serving.

Make sure you use evaporated and not condensed milk (I made that mistake once).
(Uncle Vinnie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:14, archived)

Wonderful
Thank you.

*adds to Things To Cook To Impress People list*

*waits sobbing for someone to impress*
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:19, archived)

Just as an experiment
Can you guess a b3tans favourite tv show (assuming they watch of course)?

Name me your B3tan and their favourite tv show!

Myself, im strongly predicting a correlation between Dekazer and 'This Life'
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

Mykey - Ready, Steady Cock

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

and also
can't cook, won't wank?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

*grinds*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

*bumps*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

98% of b3tans
and Top Gear

100% of b3tans and Brainiac
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

Wrong!

(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

actually, I agree
Braniac started off great and .... I don't know how I can bring myself to say this .... ended up with too much tit and arse blowing up stuff...

gah, I've turned I tell you...
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:49, archived)

I disagree.
98% of female b3tans and Top Gear. You all want to take Richard Hammond home and do the unspeakable with him.
(

Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

I have it on good authority that Hammond <3 cock*

and that's 'love' not 'less than three'
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

Yes but I've been asking around and I can't find a single lady type
who wouldn't do the sorts of things to him which he really doesn't deserve.
(

Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

he bloody does deserve it
he's so gorgeous I can't even put it into words
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:54, archived)

You dropped 'has a'
and 'inch'.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:02, archived)

not just females
I'd happily cut off his arms and legs and throw him to the dogs ...

ohhh ... not THAT unspeakable..
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

I've never seen either.
Actually, I've seen parts of Top Gear. Jeremy Clarkson is a nonce.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:47, archived)

This.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:54, archived)

I've never watched Brainiac.
What is it?
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

If I'm thinking of the right show,
Channel 5's attempt at Countdown, and utter shit.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:22, archived)

Robin - The News

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

Ahahahahaha
If my flatmates from 5 years ago were here now how they'd laugh.

It has since been superceded however.

I vote for Monster Munch and Newsnight ;)
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

I knew it!
I bet you thought you and your friends were just like them and everything!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:47, archived)

No
Thank christ none of them were. And they all mocked me for watching it anyway.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:52, archived)

As well they should

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

Pfft!
It's good, but it's not right!
I never watch Newsnight - it's on past my bedtime.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

Jocks, Rocks and Cocks

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

Sexy Gorgeous Parrott - Doctor Who.
Obviously.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

*cuddles*

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:47, archived)

*wills your hair to grow back faster*

(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

comma - sugar rush
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

Mykey - Maim that Coon

Kidding!
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

Oh that was funny and you know it :P

Name that Tune for anyone being dense
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

Perhaps
But i feel you have broken our new rules:)
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

I was going to comment on how nice the board
had been for the last few days, would you not agree? :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

It was funny
made me laugh like a Hackney landlord.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:52, archived)

At the risk of being pounced on,
that's funny.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

Odd how what you find acceptable changes day to day

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

1. Get the fuck over it
2. Not really, because there was a joke in it this time.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:01, archived)

This is your arguement?
After the preaching you did the other day?

Well thats all respect lost for you then, principled one day and not the next? That makes you a twat
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:03, archived)

Mykey,
my address is 102 Grace Road, Leicester.
If you want to upset me, post me some shit, or come round and beat me up. Don't bore everyone else with it.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:04, archived)

Are you insane?
You think thats what i want?

You really are a twat
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:06, archived)

Oh come on
lets not start on this again.

I think the difference is that links to a BBC site and some comment like "unsurprising it was an Asian" isn't very funny and there'd been a few of them.

It's not the language that people were objecting to it was the tone.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:09, archived)

Made me laugh too,
with it's clever use of an offensive term.

Besides which, you never had any respect for Robin.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:05, archived)

Perhaps
but if you're going to go off on one like that and then the next day do it yourself then it does make you look foolish
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:07, archived)

It's not even vaguely the same thing
And honestly now you're making yourself look a bit foolish and today has been a good laugh.

I live my life by a very simple motto: If everyone thinks I'm being a cunt, I'm probably being a cunt.

It works. It means if 1-2 ppl think I'm out of order then fuck them. If more do then maybe I need to look at what I'm doing.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:11, archived)

But hold on
you're quite a reasonable guy, and I think you're a cunt. Mind you, I'm a cunt.

Oh, and this ^
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:14, archived)

1. It wasn't me who started it the other day.
2. I wasn't the only one not on your side.

Despite (1) and (2) I seem to be the person you're blaming for it.

3. My problem was with your being arbitrarily offensive thinking doing so was funny in itself, without tying in any jokes or cleverness to compensate.
4. This is really, really boring for everyone else.
5. I really don't enjoy arguing with you any more than I'd enjoy bleeding if I got stabbed. It's no achievement to cause it.
6. You probably don't enjoy it either.
7, and most importantly, it's really, really boring for everyone else.

edit: Mathematical proof that 7 = 4.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:12, archived)

Hahahahaha
Post of the week.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

I've got a duck, lah lah lah, everybody knows - I've got a duck
hoorah! I've just got a pair of ducks. They're very cute!

I look forward to eggs and quacking noises.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Photos!
And a portion of French ducky orange.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

You, Ma'am,
have good taste in duck dishes.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

obligingly, I just went and took photos
but you can't have any duck a l'orange just yet - sorry.

photo's coming in a mo.....
(teasus likes tea, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

bugger. you can't post images to this board any more.
I will post them on the messageboard if anyone cares.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

here:
dux
(teasus likes tea, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:11, archived)

As do we all

(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

ducks are frickin awesome,
my mum had 12 eggs, only one of which hatched.
It was like a dog, a feathery dog
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:41, archived)

your mum laid 12 duck eggs?
and one hatched into a dog?
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

Burn the witch!

(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

hahahah
made me spit juice.... er..... so to speak.
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

It surprised us too,
she's a goose
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

We used to have ducks
they were the best pets I ever had.

Until a fox ate them.

Was the first taste of bereavement for me.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

First taste of duck for the fox,
in all likelihood.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

awww.
a fox ate one of our rabbits t'other day. was very sad for us, as we've had it since it was born (we kept one of a litter when we finished breeding bunnys a couple of years ago - started again now). It had escaped out of our garden and we coulndn't find it before night fell. I've now improved our fences...best I can do I s'pose.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:47, archived)

That's it
You're out the cricket team.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 16:38, archived)

Is there any way to download a whole website?
Has to include all index structures, pics etc.

BBC Cult is shutting down and I fancy saving it...
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

File, Save As...
One page at a time.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:41, archived)

there's about 3000 pages

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

Piece of piss if you've got TEH UPLAOD CODEZ

Have you got TEH UPLAOD CODEZ?
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

Break into the BBC
and attach a HDD and copy it all.
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

Can you just download the main-menu
and then write a bit of code that follows every hyperlink, and saves that down? Repeat for each saved sheet. Continue until the entire interweb is on your PC. (Or write some rules to filter what links it follows)
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

In IE, maybe
You can save as and "download all linked documents".
It'll probably fuck some bits up, but it's there.

Or (again, under Windows with IE) you can look in your Temporary Internet Files folder, sort by URL, and copy out all the files to a different folder, though you'll lose the directory structure.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

Im about to make some ice cream
whats everyones favorite flavour, and does anyone know an easy recipe (I have an ice cream maker thing, but I lost the recipe book)
(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:31, archived)

17th Century
But you'd need some way of freezing abstract divisions of time.
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:32, archived)

Thank you
you are scholar and a gentleman

unless of course you arent.
(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:34, archived)

Are you saying that to get into
my pants?
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

Mint choc chip
or
Soft whippy-type vanilla.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:32, archived)

Mint Choc Chip
& Tutti Frutti are both high up on my list.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

coconut is lully
but made with coconut milluk not dessicated.

and acording to my wife, brown bread ice cream is nice.

'spect I shall find out soon as we also have an ice cream maker sans instructions.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

Brown bread ice cream
is the cat's ovaries. Haven't had it in years, but it's lush.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:36, archived)

brown bread?
make a salad flavour one to cash in on all the fatties
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

Kulfi is great
because it looks like dalek but tastes like coconut*.

*May only apply to coconut flavoured kulfi
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

I
NEED that for the ratbag's birthday party!
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

Strawberry
A whole load of strawberries in a blender, some sugar, some lemon juice, you have sorbet.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:34, archived)

We have fresh strawberrys in the garden, but they wont be ripe for another few weeks
they are the perfect ballance of sweet and sharp. And they are only tiny aswell so you can eat as many as you want
(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:36, archived)

Do you not need ice to make sorbet?

(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

~~sorbet~~ sweet, lemony, strawberry pulp
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

Vagina flavour, with period ripple,
and yeasty hundreds and thousands
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

vanilla's the best
have a look on the manufacturer's website - they may have a PDF
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

cookie dough.

(

toxie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

Banoffee pie
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:36, archived)

so very tempting
...I dont have any toffee but I need to get sopme cream anyway
(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

Coffee

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

Pistachio

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

Mint choc chip or rum and raisin although no one ever agrees with me on the latter.

(

Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

Rum and raisin
is good. But one of those things that you feel you need to be at least 70 years old to appreciate properly. Like breathing.
(

Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

I've decided to do a Flappers-style post

What 6 things could you not do without? (This is mildly rhetorical so no air/gravity/blood-cell answers you wankers)

Me:

Ciggies, Books, Beer, Motorbike, PC, Music - in no particular order.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

hmmmm
my family
books
music
sex
chocolate
humour
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

PC, cows, porn, cheese, porn, pop tarts, knowing keith chegwin will alway be a cunt

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

Hmm,
Red Bull, chocolate, intercock, PS2 games, drawing equipment, books.
(

Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

Nail clippers,
Chocolate,
Bubble bath,
Wanking,
B3ta,
Fingers.
(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

Coca-Cola, Music, My Glasses, Books, Cheese, Sunshine

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

And no over-emotional "my children, my wife" sort of posts either.
1. Computer
2. Work (I enjoy it)
3. Holidays away from work (but not that much)
4. Music (listening and playing)
5. Beer
6. Books
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

aww but I was going to say
Jesus
my wife
my kids
my friends
my mummy
my daddy
(teasus likes tea, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

As long as you're not over-emotional about it...

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Music, books, good food,
the missus, internet access... and you guys.

Haha, only joking. I think maybe the last one should be wanking.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

but aren't we
just the same thing?
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

Good point
but having remembered chocolate and cheese, You won't be making the top 6 anyway. Sorry.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:26, archived)

Right, I've rethought
Tea
Chocolate
Cheese
Putty
Axes
Beany hats.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

Chocolate is gay (as in I can live without it very easily)
but cheese is great. I don't seem to ever eat anything special any more - I think I need to treat myself. A combination of trying to lose weight and laziness has severely ristricted my diet.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:34, archived)

you had special stuff at the b3tnik
you need to come and and visit Peckhams again
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Best way to lose weight
is to eat just as much but exercise more.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Aye I know I know
I really should go back to kickboxing as I was in pretty damn good shape when I was doing that, and when I started I was a lot lardier than I am now. I'm not actually too bad at the mo, could just be firmer in the right places you know :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

Tea
Mars Delight, Internet, Hair straighteners, trainers, cider.
(

Smokey Bacon Crisps smell good, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

Just money.
If I have enough of that, I can replace everything else.

/cold & emotionless
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

You say that
but wait until I rip your pancreas out and hold it to ransom.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

See if I care.
/cold, emotionless & bleeding to death
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:30, archived)

Sod that
All the obvious stuff (the MUF, the family, blah blah), obviously, but the things I really appreciate in my life are;

1. My big coffee mug in the office
2. Bed socks
3. Wotsits
4. Toothbrushes
5. Headphones
6. My cagoule.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

bed socks??
and a million cats
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

And being found face down in your kitchen at 64
Being eaten by the cats
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

I am quite
clearly already living without cats. They are OK, but Gin provides a perfectly acceptable old-age-filling substitute :D
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

bed socks
are a mad old woman thing

though my sister wears them too
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

Or lifelong
smokers who have bad circulation and cold bedrooms and no toasty warm husbands, actually.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

MUF?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

Muff.

(

Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

That
I could understand. Never underestimate the importance of genital insulation.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:34, archived)

Modern
Urban Family. I love my MUF.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

thats really really gay

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Just for once,
I'm with you.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

What is this strange feeling?
Could it be... solidarity with Mykey?

*seeks help*
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

theflatmate's
metro.. What can I do?
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

Strap explosives to your waist,
and give him a hug?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

I once
sat through a three hour Bollywood film of which that very scene was the ending. I felt cheated. And very very tired.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

Your fucking cagoule?!
Jesus Christ.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

You realise that there are women out there who would class their prize posession
as their little pink thong. its not too late my friend
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

*sobs*

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:32, archived)

Prize possession?
That implies they can't afford a steady stream of new ones really doesn't it.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

She lives in Scotchland.
It rains a lot.

It wouldn't be in my top six but it's pretty important, nonetheless.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:31, archived)

My hair
doesn't like rain but Edinburgh doesn't like umbrellas.

And I don't like getting rained on.
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:36, archived)

you could set up
a small but stylish tent on your shoulders
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

Real men just get wet ffs
I didn't buy a coat until December last year and I was walking round at 0C in a t-shirt and even then I only did it because I was off to Venice.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:36, archived)

You moaned
like a girl when you got wet riding round Scotland though ;P
(

Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

Ha.
I sat for 10 hours in the lashing freezing rain being buffeted by the wind, I didn't just get a little damp wandering around shopping! I couldn't feel my fingers and toes dammit!
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

~~wet~~ pneumonia
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

So you're saying that Dekazer is not a real man because she wears a cagoule?

You're not helping your 'I'm Straight!' campaign much, are you?
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:47, archived)

Its good to see your woman fits in there:)
Good luck!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

:P

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

Books
The interweb
Cycling
Programming
Writing
Don't know

I'd probably say "girlfriend" if I had one.
edit: In which case friends count as 'things' too, so them.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

That last line is just crying out for a frowning smiley...

(

debar - Lord High Expositioner, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:30, archived)

RUM
nothing else matters after the first bottle.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

The Navys answer to Wine Women and Song :
Rum, bum and concertinas
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

Music, books, booze, PC, intelligent conversation, the possibility to travel.

_{and you bastards probably almost make it onto that list.}
(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

*dons ski mask*
*abseils down outside of list*

*Smashes through window in at no 2*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:31, archived)

Ahhhh
Family
Friends
Beauty
Music
Hot anal bumsex up the shitter with a big hairy goat cock
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

That's five
may I suggest "kittens" for number 6?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:30, archived)

I cant count higher than five
And I fucking hate kittens.

If I had to add something onto that list it would probably be cuttlefish
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

Pfft.
*Coke/Monitor interaction*
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

I misread that as
cock/monitor and feared for the safety of your job
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

j n

We all did
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:41, archived)

Music, books, good stand-up comedy, receiving blowjobs, my closest mates, my computer
This doesn't leave room for cheese or decent quality sausages which is disappointing.
(

Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

Numbers three, four and five
can be combined, to leave two spaces open.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

Top things that are ace and stuff.
1)Friends (people not the lifeless pupets on TV)
2)Cigarettes
3)Books
4)Toilet paper
5)Mobile phone
6)Computer
(A bit Manchester, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

Number 4 is very valid
and Aloe Vera toilet paper is the best thing since the Internet
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Lavender-scented,
I'll bet.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

Is it kind
to your cock-ravaged ring ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

Yes
yes it is.

Honestly I have a prett cast-iron stomach, and yet highly volatile bowels. My poor arse suffers from my love of spicey food more than you could possibly believe.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

Stomach of iron
I used to be able to eat small chunks of smouldering coal (chilli chicken vindaloo) without so much as breaking a sweat, now i need half a roll of soothing alovera poo roll just to get me through the morning after even a medium hot curry.
I don't like getting old(23).
(A bit Manchester, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

erm
music
my garden
Mac OSX
olives
proper underpants
books
(teasus likes tea, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

Mac OSX?
Please leave quietly before I call security.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

let me think
-Mike Dirnt
-Billie Joe Armstrong
-Tre Cool
-Hair wax/gel/spray
-Bread
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:41, archived)

does anyone remember
which b3tan did an audio mash up of Sting's "every breath you take" and "Stand by me" by Sam Cooke?
I've just discovered it on my hard drive and it's excellent.
(

robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

No
but if I could save you 20% on your car insurance, would you join my religion?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

I will
where do I sign?
(Al__S is constantly suprised, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Is there pizza?
And beer?
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

Punch and pie

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

>_< Godammit there's got to be punch and pie!

You are the real life Cartman.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

All the meat feast you can eat
and booze pumped straight from Belgium.

And topless barmaids.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

I declare you my messiah
and I will slay those that oppose you, my dark lord.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

our flapjack
who art in heaven.
hallowed by thy name.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

pssshww
Hubbard offered me 30%
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

Right,
where do I worship this "Hubbard"?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

www.scientology.org/

it looks awesome
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

If it's good enough for Tom Cruise...
erm, I'll stick with the beer and pizza.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

ETERNAL SALVATION
OR TRIPLE YOUR MONEY BACK!
/world's first openly for-profit religion
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

*joins*
Praise the Genii!
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

Ooooooh,
yesh.
(

Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

no, I've not heard that one
I need a cuddle :(
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

aaw bless,
still poorly?
(

robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

I scared the GP this morning :(
she's a bit worried about me
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

Did you jump out from behind a car?

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

she looked at my tonsils :(

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

I don't want to alarm you, but I can see an operation in your near future
When they're causing this much trouble it's best to have them out.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

I've to go back on Friday if I've not started improving
and if it looks that they might start heading towards quinsy I might ask about having them out. I think there's a long waiting list though. my cousin had hers out last year and ended having them out privately on my uncle's occupational health insurance cos she'd missed loads of school already and the waiting list was huge. we don't have anything like that.
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:32, archived)

what's wrong honey?
and why do you never 4rthur no-more? I must have missed the point you left, somehow.
(Al__S is constantly suprised, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

I just kinda drifted
I didn't know about this place till a real-life friend 4rthured me (giving me quite a fright) and I ended up coming over to see what it was like.

I'm all teh ill just now, tonsillitis that looks like it's trying to turn into quinsy, lots of side-effects to the penicillin but the tonsillitis is so bad they want me to keep taking it - saw the GP again this morning cos it's getting worse and she gave me liquid versions of everything cos I can't swallow tablets now. and she pointed out that I have an eye infection now too so I've got antibiotic eyedrops

how's you sweetie?
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

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