
* Try adjusting with you monitors brightness.
NOTE: Woo to the cartoon (and the previous one)
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:06,
archived)
NOTE: Woo to the cartoon (and the previous one)





Brown trouser fear...
Do you think that they will let me change into a clean pair, before they pop drinking staws into my eyes and suck out the vitreous humour?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52,
archived)
Do you think that they will let me change into a clean pair, before they pop drinking staws into my eyes and suck out the vitreous humour?

I'm too scared even to shit myself
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52,
archived)

That's Iggle Piggle's blanket, red with the blood of his victims.

( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:58,
archived)


Regardless, that's awesome!
Clickety Mc Click!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:20,
archived)
Clickety Mc Click!

He started smiling this week. Brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it...
:D

( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:57,
archived)
:D


Woo!
As the father of a toddler I endorse the ridiculing this programme...
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:56,
archived)
As the father of a toddler I endorse the ridiculing this programme...


"Where the fuck is that ox flesh I asked for?"

*clicks again*
What the hell, it's good enough... *clicks a third time*
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55,
archived)
What the hell, it's good enough... *clicks a third time*

( , Fri 23 May 2008, 9:34, archived)

We (by which I mean Fluffy, since I did not) saw one man with blood on his mush, but it appears that he was the bomber.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:36,
archived)

didn't go off, because we caught it in time.
Glad to hear your bomber was the IP.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:38,
archived)
Glad to hear your bomber was the IP.

here are more assholes for your suckfest, assholes.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:47,
archived)

has no mention of bomb! I think you're making things up!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:41,
archived)

I'm tired and you're probably being sarcastic.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:43,
archived)

poor tired captain... shall I read you a bed time story?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:44,
archived)

"Our T.V. broke. What a shame. Let's throw BRICKS AT FUCKING POLICEMEN."
who, exactly, could possibly justify that kind of response. It's fucking shameful. We're a doomed species and we fucking deserve it.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:47,
archived)
who, exactly, could possibly justify that kind of response. It's fucking shameful. We're a doomed species and we fucking deserve it.

Though apparently most of the fuss was caused by people who weren't fans anyway and were literally just looking for any excuse to lob bricks at fucking policemen.
Which, in some respects, makes it all the more idiotic.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:50,
archived)
Which, in some respects, makes it all the more idiotic.

and they are everywhere.
*sings*
I've been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding,
the cream is floating and feeding,
and I don't even own a TV.
They put me in a hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me,
you told them all I was crazy,
they cut off my legs, now I'm an amputee god damn you...
I'm not sick but I'm not well...
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:54,
archived)
*sings*
I've been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding,
the cream is floating and feeding,
and I don't even own a TV.
They put me in a hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me,
you told them all I was crazy,
they cut off my legs, now I'm an amputee god damn you...
I'm not sick but I'm not well...

is that a bomb blast in the UK is no longer front page news (while jet lag is) :(
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45,
archived)

Firstly, it was a pathetic attempt at a bombing by someone with severe mental problems, probably no links to serious terrorists, and who only managed to injure himself.
Secondly, the whole point of terrorism is not to kill people but to scare them. By making every incident front page news, we have been playing the terrorist's game, and letting them win.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 11:26,
archived)
Secondly, the whole point of terrorism is not to kill people but to scare them. By making every incident front page news, we have been playing the terrorist's game, and letting them win.

I love the uneccesary detail
Poor big bugger.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:40,
archived)
Poor big bugger.

Are you crypto-jews? The money-handling, cock-circumcising, pork-shunning, code-making, code-breaking children of motherfucking Israel?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:36,
archived)

WITH A SIMPLE SUBSTITUTION CYPHER!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37,
archived)

*joins*
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:39,
archived)
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

and contrary to popular belief is completely harmless
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:47,
archived)

I'm allowed to handle FACT in concentrations up to and including 100% of FACT.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:49,
archived)


a stabbing, a suicide, and now a bomb...
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37,
archived)

All in Pedantichrist's Office!
Where does he work? Hull Childrens Home?
Oh and

( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:40,
archived)
Where does he work? Hull Childrens Home?
Oh and


:D
Edit: ooops, how rude of me, Ningles!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:42,
archived)
Edit: ooops, how rude of me, Ningles!

that "... d00d w0z like well simpul init, and was rite into iz izlam uh woteva for reel!"
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:39,
archived)

Jim Naughtie's Daily Realism Report in place of thought for the day is just progress imho
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45,
archived)

well glad you're safe
In the newspaper reports I love how they distinguish between "having mental illness" and "following the Islamic faith" as if they were different things
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:42,
archived)
In the newspaper reports I love how they distinguish between "having mental illness" and "following the Islamic faith" as if they were different things

"Being a religious extremist in any religion" - mad as a mad cunt.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45,
archived)

25:63:
The worshippers of the All-Merciful are they who tread gently upon the earth, and when the ignorant address them, they reply, "Peace!"
It's just that there will always be someone in any religion (or supposedly) that contorts and deforms the message to their own (usually politically minded) agenda. And those with no will of their own or those easily led types will be duped. But not everyone who has faith in something is mental. I'm CERTAINLY not.
I'm not trying to start the age old argument, but that kind of thinking really does get my back up.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:47,
archived)
The worshippers of the All-Merciful are they who tread gently upon the earth, and when the ignorant address them, they reply, "Peace!"
It's just that there will always be someone in any religion (or supposedly) that contorts and deforms the message to their own (usually politically minded) agenda. And those with no will of their own or those easily led types will be duped. But not everyone who has faith in something is mental. I'm CERTAINLY not.
I'm not trying to start the age old argument, but that kind of thinking really does get my back up.

Especially the ones in the 21st century. Because we've got time machines and went back to join in.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:49,
archived)

I'm going to use mine to seduce Elizabeth I and become king of all England
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:51,
archived)

we tried it once and it was shit. Fuckloads of people died.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:50,
archived)

whoever planned that little saga holiday was a right mong.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:51,
archived)

Llamas being "some sort of fliddy horse"
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52,
archived)

and putting the heretic to the sword
mind you the Jewish and Christian holy books aren't a great deal better
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:50,
archived)
mind you the Jewish and Christian holy books aren't a great deal better

I'm honestly curious.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52,
archived)

I'm all for religion at a personal level, it's just organised religions and churches that seem to be the cause of people doing fuckittery and using god as an excuse.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56,
archived)

But then I don't tar all atheists with the same brush, and there's plenty of fucking awful things commited by them.
Oh, I don't know. I just get a little fed up that because I choose to believe in something I get accused of being mentally ill, stupid or both, in some cases only so the accuser can feel a pat on the back from someone else (like all of the agreement that goes on here). It just seems... like schoolboy bullying to me. But then I suppose if the shoe were on the other foot I'd feel differently. And I DO have a preexisting massive persecution complex.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:00,
archived)
Oh, I don't know. I just get a little fed up that because I choose to believe in something I get accused of being mentally ill, stupid or both, in some cases only so the accuser can feel a pat on the back from someone else (like all of the agreement that goes on here). It just seems... like schoolboy bullying to me. But then I suppose if the shoe were on the other foot I'd feel differently. And I DO have a preexisting massive persecution complex.

trying to justify their decision to be a horriffic fucktard through atheism than I have trying to justify it through religion.
If I were in an arguing mood I'd dispute your use of "choose to believe". If you believe it (in a faith-related sense) then you do, no choice about it. Doesn't make it wrong of course.
but I'm not in an arguing mood, I'm in a kittens and hugs mood. Why don't we ever get kittens in the lab? It's always knives and shit. Can't hug that shit, it's bad for you.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:04,
archived)
If I were in an arguing mood I'd dispute your use of "choose to believe". If you believe it (in a faith-related sense) then you do, no choice about it. Doesn't make it wrong of course.
but I'm not in an arguing mood, I'm in a kittens and hugs mood. Why don't we ever get kittens in the lab? It's always knives and shit. Can't hug that shit, it's bad for you.

And yes, actually, I did make a choice, to finally admit it to MYSELF. I've been surrounded by atheists in my circle of friends all my life, and to 'come out' to them WAS a choice. But not to choose to have faith, you're right there.
Some still won't talk to me. Their loss.
Edit: also I'm not saying I have all the answers. I'm not saying I've studied the Bible in humungous depth for years and years and years. I just want to stand up for myself, as nobody else will.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:07,
archived)
Some still won't talk to me. Their loss.
Edit: also I'm not saying I have all the answers. I'm not saying I've studied the Bible in humungous depth for years and years and years. I just want to stand up for myself, as nobody else will.

*may be an imitation of mad super-atheists

There's marginally less knives in a classroom.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:09,
archived)

I don't disparage anyone who has faith. It's those who try to force it upon me that I have trouble with.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:57,
archived)

I've...
had...
The time of my liiiiffffee....
and I Neeeever felt this way before...
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:00,
archived)
had...
The time of my liiiiffffee....
and I Neeeever felt this way before...

If there's
A) a rational and natural explanation
and
B) an irrational explanation that invokes the supernatural
anyone who plumps for option B) despite no supporting evidence is, to my mind, insane.
But then again, that pretty much sums up every female I know. Most of my relationship problems stem from the fact that I run from a purely logical standpoint and have difficulty understanding overly emotional "reasoning", or indeed, faith.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:59,
archived)
A) a rational and natural explanation
and
B) an irrational explanation that invokes the supernatural
anyone who plumps for option B) despite no supporting evidence is, to my mind, insane.
But then again, that pretty much sums up every female I know. Most of my relationship problems stem from the fact that I run from a purely logical standpoint and have difficulty understanding overly emotional "reasoning", or indeed, faith.

That's overly emotional reasoning.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:02,
archived)

My personal value of my life = X
My personal value of loved one's life = Y
If X<Y then RUN TO THE FIRE.
This seems rationally emotional, rather than crezzy.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:07,
archived)
My personal value of loved one's life = Y
If X<Y then RUN TO THE FIRE.
This seems rationally emotional, rather than crezzy.

but I've been told by many women that I'm too "reserved", to employ a euphemism.
And I just don't understand how there's any value in saying "this is impossible and there's no proof for it, yet I believe it anyway".
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:13,
archived)
And I just don't understand how there's any value in saying "this is impossible and there's no proof for it, yet I believe it anyway".

Improbable, certainly. But then so is winning the lottery.
I'm not trying to fight with you. I'm genuinely interested, although I didn't appreciate the sexism.
Also, there may be no 'value' in it to you, but then is that a viable excuse to throw around insults?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:17,
archived)
I'm not trying to fight with you. I'm genuinely interested, although I didn't appreciate the sexism.
Also, there may be no 'value' in it to you, but then is that a viable excuse to throw around insults?

None of my male friends have ever told me that I'm too emotionally reserved...even when I fail to muster a response to, say, an England penalty shoot-out. It's only the women in my life who seem to have a problem with it. Empirical evidence.
And I'm not trying to pick a fight, and I'm not trying to throw around insults, but to me insanity is characterised by believing impossible things to be true. I wouldn't insult you by saying "well, I think most people who have faith are insane but you're special", that would be dishonest. This is what I think. You asked, I'll tell you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but that's the way I roll. I do have friends who have faith and they know full well my feelings on the subject. Generally we talk about something else.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:26,
archived)
And I'm not trying to pick a fight, and I'm not trying to throw around insults, but to me insanity is characterised by believing impossible things to be true. I wouldn't insult you by saying "well, I think most people who have faith are insane but you're special", that would be dishonest. This is what I think. You asked, I'll tell you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but that's the way I roll. I do have friends who have faith and they know full well my feelings on the subject. Generally we talk about something else.

I just do not think that there is an awfully large percentage of things which happen that fall into category A
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:20,
archived)

peace my arse
they make fucking excellent treacly Iraqi coffee though
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52,
archived)
they make fucking excellent treacly Iraqi coffee though

i contemplated taking gelignite to the place
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:50,
archived)

in bris the other week. police asked us to leave the pub, then realised standing next to the bus which the "bomb" was on was less safe so ordered us back in and made us continue drinking :D
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 11:48,
archived)

I was given bomb training for a local council.
Part of the training was to listen and see if you noticed anything unusual about the caller. Like if he had a limp.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 13:48,
archived)
Part of the training was to listen and see if you noticed anything unusual about the caller. Like if he had a limp.

That film rocked.. only the most evil men wear badly fitting 1970s flowing black robes
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:23,
archived)


How's down the road this morning?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52,
archived)

but its Friday so I don't care.
Only 6 hours til lager time!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56,
archived)
Only 6 hours til lager time!

do you know owt about monitors (studio kind not telly kind)?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:48,
archived)

I'm also a fountain of knowledge on the milk and hall monitors too.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:50,
archived)

cos they've got to go on a shelf that's not very big
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:58,
archived)

Are you looking for speakon, jack or barewire.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:59,
archived)

I'm not forking out 3 grand for a pair but I don't want to get a cheap pair that'll be shit
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:06,
archived)

What size is the room and how much are you willing to pay?
Aditionally are you walls treated?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:19,
archived)
Aditionally are you walls treated?

which is why I'm not going to fork out for top end monitors cos it would be a waste
no treatment on the walls - two are brick and the other is just a stud wall
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:23,
archived)
no treatment on the walls - two are brick and the other is just a stud wall

With the size of that area with or without treatment the colourisation is going to me immense!
I think if you're EQing or mastering something then you'll need to use a decent pair of cans and then listen it afterwards on your HIFI.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:32,
archived)
I think if you're EQing or mastering something then you'll need to use a decent pair of cans and then listen it afterwards on your HIFI.

I seem to have a mistrust of EQing/mastering on headphones though
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37,
archived)

But if you are EQing etc anyway you have to bare in mind thatpeople will be listening to it on difference outputs annyway so you should check it on phones, hifis as well.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 10:16,
archived)

I'm sure it's not a concept you're familiar with:P
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:51,
archived)

I feel very old this week.
Still, a bomb in my building, that's exiting.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:53,
archived)
Still, a bomb in my building, that's exiting.

having a bomb downstairs.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:09,
archived)

not in a sexual way, but because of the bomb.
did the world move for you or were you blissfully unaware until you were told to leave the building?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:22,
archived)
did the world move for you or were you blissfully unaware until you were told to leave the building?

are odd, IMO.. Attractive, but in a deliberately bland, middle class and inoffensive way
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:06,
archived)

she's like an overstretched slice of haslet with lipstick
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:07,
archived)

then I found out it wasn't actually a real meat
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:13,
archived)

cos I keep demanding we buy haslet when we shopping at the deli counter.
And it's all B3ta's fult
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:13,
archived)
And it's all B3ta's fult

best of all the Bodmin Moor animals.
That's not a puma, it's a giant haslet, roaming the moor, looking for forgotten wellies to eat.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:17,
archived)
That's not a puma, it's a giant haslet, roaming the moor, looking for forgotten wellies to eat.


NO WATE THAT'S A LIE. WELL HE IS DEAD BUT THANKS. HE MADE ME THE JUNKIE I AM TODAY. NIGHT BYE.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:01,
archived)

It's Friday
It's PAYDAY
I'm going shopping tomorrow
I am a bit tired but then I never get more than 5-6 hours sleep, generally.
How are you?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:16,
archived)
It's PAYDAY
I'm going shopping tomorrow
I am a bit tired but then I never get more than 5-6 hours sleep, generally.
How are you?

gawd, it's payday for me too, I just realised
HURRAH!
I went to bed at 1 and got up at 5.45, I must be nuts
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:19,
archived)
HURRAH!
I went to bed at 1 and got up at 5.45, I must be nuts

It doesn't matter, it's Saturday tomorrow. You up to owt nice?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:21,
archived)

I might go and see the red kites at Aston Rowant if t'weather's good
or paint the bloody ceilings again
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:25,
archived)
or paint the bloody ceilings again

He's HUGE. Absolutely beautiful to watch.
I need to paint my ceiling, but that's going to involve scaffolding (I quite want to do a skyscape thing but it's 10 foot up...)
Back in a mo...
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:27,
archived)
I need to paint my ceiling, but that's going to involve scaffolding (I quite want to do a skyscape thing but it's 10 foot up...)
Back in a mo...

I used to be able to put my hand flat on our ceiling - the new ceiling has gained us about 6cm :|
still, our bathroom's finished now and it's FUCKING LOVELY
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:30,
archived)
still, our bathroom's finished now and it's FUCKING LOVELY

Our not new bathroom's a pile of wank. ONE DAY I shall fix it up lovely.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37,
archived)

'Grandma, why does Granddad wear that really awful wig?'
'It's best if you don't ask.'
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:14,
archived)
'It's best if you don't ask.'

you have invented a new concept in advertising hoarding.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:00,
archived)

*checks*
SHIT I'VE GOT MY TUESDAY TITS ON.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:15,
archived)
SHIT I'VE GOT MY TUESDAY TITS ON.

*stacks various bits of stationery in front of chest*
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:18,
archived)

should be ok, maybe plant a distraction elsewhere in the room for later in case you get hot
*passes flashbang 'nade
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:26,
archived)
*passes flashbang 'nade

*passes
Careful now
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:30,
archived)
Careful now

I need another one *claps excitedly*
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:35,
archived)

If you blow this last one you've only got yrself to blame if your tuesdaytits get exposed.
*passes
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37,
archived)
*passes

as it gives her head a strange shape.
WOO and 'Ning! fella
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:19,
archived)
WOO and 'Ning! fella

i'll just slip this in here, because i intend doing a sequel later

( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:23,
archived)


*spins plastic themed ratchet*
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:24,
archived)

Id he a cloud repair man? You can see wher he'd applied the patch.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:28,
archived)

these are nearly always at the top of the board when I wake, tis a goodway to start the day.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:28,
archived)

I defy anyone to post anything better today.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:31,
archived)

going to be more pictures of maddie or freddie mercury on £5 notes, then the outlook is bleak for today
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:36,
archived)

yes, I like how the compo is so vague that Maddie/Freddie/seamy cocks are valid entries
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:45,
archived)


And now, have done so...e.

THERE WERE SEVERAL HUNDRED SUICIDES REPORTED WITHIN HOURS.
I'M NOT SORRY.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:48,
archived)
I'M NOT SORRY.

THAT WILL BE FUN.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:56,
archived)

CHILDREN CANNOT BE TAUGHT, THEY ARE STUPID CREATURES LESS EVOLVED THAN THE COMMON WURM.
MY PINKIES ARE PAINED, I AM OFF TO BEDLAND.
GOOD NIGHT ALL.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:00,
archived)
MY PINKIES ARE PAINED, I AM OFF TO BEDLAND.
GOOD NIGHT ALL.

I WISH UPON YOU MANY SWEET DREAMS OF TURNIPS AND WEDNESDAY ICE CREAM.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:18,
archived)

THE HONEYDRIPPERS WAS ALL THE FORMER STONED HIPPIES COULD COME UP WITH, AND THEY SUCKED ASS.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:55,
archived)

coincidence? Or a conspiracy!?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 9:06,
archived)
![Challenge Entry: Photoshop money [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)

but then I guess it would be a "cellary"

Nothing to do with celery, but I've had that stuck in my head all morning :D
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:43,
archived)

I've heard it LOADS of times, but I just DO NOT get it!!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:11,
archived)

Just sounds like a negligence towards welfare myself.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:12,
archived)

SHE HAD TO PAY ME SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR THEM AND EVERY DAY AFTER WORK SHE HAS TO STOP BY MY HOUSE AND JACK ME OFF. SHE HAD TO SIGN THE AGREEMENT BEFORE I GAVE HER MY HANDS SO SHE SIGNED WITH HER FEET AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO COURT BECAUSE SHE SAYS IT'S NOT HER SIGNATURE.
I THINK I MIGHT GET FUCKED OVER HERE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HER HANDWRITING IS DIFFERENT FROM HER FOOTWRITING. THOSE CRIPPLES ARE WILY ONES.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:38,
archived)
I THINK I MIGHT GET FUCKED OVER HERE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HER HANDWRITING IS DIFFERENT FROM HER FOOTWRITING. THOSE CRIPPLES ARE WILY ONES.


'get out of here, you little attention whore!'
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:14,
archived)

FUCKER'S GOT A HEAD LIKE A GIANT ALBINO GOURD BUT HE SURE AS HELL HAS STEEL BALLS ON HIM.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 7:55,
archived)

punching the Mona Lisa in the tit, I hear she loves it
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 7:56,
archived)

*stays in boat*
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 5:08,
archived)

click and wait but is then where,? where, where;;;go home monkey this is doctor dyslexia's fabergé egg, you monkey
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 6:49,
archived)

In the regular course of events the southern hemisphere would in its turn
be subjected to a severe Glacial period, with the northern hemisphere
rendered warmer; and then the southern temperate forms would invade the
equatorial lowlands. The northern forms which had before been left on the
mountains would now descend and mingle with the southern forms. These
latter, when the warmth returned, would return to their former homes,
leaving some few species on the mountains, and carrying southward with
them some of the northern temperate forms which had descended from their
mountain fastnesses.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 6:59,
archived)
be subjected to a severe Glacial period, with the northern hemisphere
rendered warmer; and then the southern temperate forms would invade the
equatorial lowlands. The northern forms which had before been left on the
mountains would now descend and mingle with the southern forms. These
latter, when the warmth returned, would return to their former homes,
leaving some few species on the mountains, and carrying southward with
them some of the northern temperate forms which had descended from their
mountain fastnesses.

SO THIS ONE TIME I WENT TO THE LOCAL DRIVE-THROUGH WITH MY FRIEND NIGEL AND HIS BROTHER PATRICK. PATRICK WAS DYING OF ANAL CANCER AND HE WANTED A CHICKEN SANDWICH BUT NIGEL AND I JUST WANTED MILKSHAKES. PATRICK GOT THE SPINS WHEN HE WAS IN A MOVING VEHICLE FROM HIS ASS-MEDICATION SO HE WAS LYING IN THE BACK SEAT. THE WOMAN WHO TOOK OUR ORDER ASKED IF WE WANTED FRIES AND WE ALL SAID "HELL NO! THE FRIES HERE TASTE LIKE SHIT!" AND SHE GOT MAD. I THINK SHE WAS THE SAME WOMAN WHO TOOK OUR MONEY WHILE WE WAITED FOR THE FOOD.
THE MILKSHAKES CAME BUT WE HAD TO WAIT FOR THE CHICKEN SANDWICH. PATRICK STARTED TO BITCH AT US TO LAY ON THE HORN BECAUSE HE WAS HUNGRY. WE DID AND THEN THE CARS BEHIND US STARTED BEEPING TOO BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT WE HAD GOT ALL OUR FOOD. THE WOMAN HANDED US THE SANDWICH AND RUDELY TOLD US TO LAY OFF THE HORN AND TO MOVE ON. BEFORE NIGEL GOT THE CAR IN GEAR PATRICK TOOK A BITE OF THE SANDWICH AND SAID "THIS SANDWICH TASTES LIKE SHIT! IT'S MOULDY! FUCK THIS!" SO NIGEL REACHED OUT AND KNOCKED ON THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH.
THE SAME ANGRY WOMAN CAME BACK AND SAID "I SAID MOVE!" AND PATRICK STARTED YELLING AT HER FROM THE BACK SEAT. SHE COULDN'T SEE HIM AND WAS BENDING HER HEAD OUT THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH TO LOOK AROUND TO SEE WHO WAS YELLING. FINALLY HE STUCK HIS FOOT OUT THE CAR WINDOW AND SAID "LOOK HERE YOU STUPID FUCK! I'M IN THE GODDAMN CAR!" SHE SLAMMED THE WINDOW SHUT AND YELLED "DON'T BE SO FUCKING RUDE!" BUT WE COULD BARELY HEAR HER THROUGH THE GLASS. NIGEL KNOCKED ON HER WINDOW AGAIN AND SAID "THE SANDWICH IS RANCID, WE WANT ANOTHER ONE." SHE SAID "OH NO, IT'S FINE AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE YOUR CAR, WE'RE CLOSED NOW." "NO FUCKING WAY!" YELLED PATRICK FROM THE BACK SEAT, SITTING UP A LITTLE. FAST-FOOD WOMAN SAID "YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE OR I'M CALLING THE MANAGER." WE ALL STARTED TO LAUGH.
SHE LEFT THE WINDOW AND THE MANAGER SHOWED UP AND WE RECOGNISED HIM FROM HIGH SCHOOL - HE'D DROPPED OUT TO BECOME A MODEL IN THE LAST YEAR. I GUESS HE DIDN'T MAKE IT SO HE BECAME THE MANAGER OF STICKY FRIES. HE ALSO LIKED WHAM! A LOT AND HAD HIGHLIGHTS IN HIS HAIR. HE YELLED AT US TO LEAVE OR HE WAS GOING TO CALL THE POLICE. "I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS ON YOU!" HE YELLED AND WE TRIED TO EXPLAIN ABOUT THE RANCID SANDWICH. HE SAID HE DIDN'T CARE AND THEN PATRICK CALLED THE COUNTER WOMAN A CUNT AND SHE MUST HAVE HEARD BECAUSE SHE RAN BACK INTO VIEW AND STARTED HOLLERING OUT THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH AT US, AND CALLED US A BUNCH OF LOW-LIFES.
"HAHA!" WE LAUGHED, "WE ARE LOW-LIFES! BUT AT LEAST WE DON'T WORK THE MIDNIGHT SHIFT AT STICKY FRIES AND LISTEN TO NON-STOP WHAM! TAPES WHILE WE MOP THE FLOOR AFTER CLOSING!" COUNTER WOMAN JUST STARED AT US IN DISBELIEF BECAUSE WE'D OBVIOUSLY HIT A BULLSEYE WITH THAT COMMENT. THEN PATRICK THREW THE CHICKEN SANDWICH OUT THE WINDOW OF THE CAR, THROUGH THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH AND HIT THE WOMAN IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. SHE STARTED SCREAMING AGAIN AND NIGEL DROPPED THE CAR INTO GEAR AND WE PEELED OUT, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
WE DROVE HOME AND MADE PATRICK A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH AND WOKE EVERYBODY UP LAUGHING ABOUT OUR NIGHT. PATRICK DIED ABOUT THREE WEEKS LATER BUT I DON'T THINK IT WAS THE RANCID CHICKEN.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 7:32,
archived)
THE MILKSHAKES CAME BUT WE HAD TO WAIT FOR THE CHICKEN SANDWICH. PATRICK STARTED TO BITCH AT US TO LAY ON THE HORN BECAUSE HE WAS HUNGRY. WE DID AND THEN THE CARS BEHIND US STARTED BEEPING TOO BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT WE HAD GOT ALL OUR FOOD. THE WOMAN HANDED US THE SANDWICH AND RUDELY TOLD US TO LAY OFF THE HORN AND TO MOVE ON. BEFORE NIGEL GOT THE CAR IN GEAR PATRICK TOOK A BITE OF THE SANDWICH AND SAID "THIS SANDWICH TASTES LIKE SHIT! IT'S MOULDY! FUCK THIS!" SO NIGEL REACHED OUT AND KNOCKED ON THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH.
THE SAME ANGRY WOMAN CAME BACK AND SAID "I SAID MOVE!" AND PATRICK STARTED YELLING AT HER FROM THE BACK SEAT. SHE COULDN'T SEE HIM AND WAS BENDING HER HEAD OUT THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH TO LOOK AROUND TO SEE WHO WAS YELLING. FINALLY HE STUCK HIS FOOT OUT THE CAR WINDOW AND SAID "LOOK HERE YOU STUPID FUCK! I'M IN THE GODDAMN CAR!" SHE SLAMMED THE WINDOW SHUT AND YELLED "DON'T BE SO FUCKING RUDE!" BUT WE COULD BARELY HEAR HER THROUGH THE GLASS. NIGEL KNOCKED ON HER WINDOW AGAIN AND SAID "THE SANDWICH IS RANCID, WE WANT ANOTHER ONE." SHE SAID "OH NO, IT'S FINE AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE YOUR CAR, WE'RE CLOSED NOW." "NO FUCKING WAY!" YELLED PATRICK FROM THE BACK SEAT, SITTING UP A LITTLE. FAST-FOOD WOMAN SAID "YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE OR I'M CALLING THE MANAGER." WE ALL STARTED TO LAUGH.
SHE LEFT THE WINDOW AND THE MANAGER SHOWED UP AND WE RECOGNISED HIM FROM HIGH SCHOOL - HE'D DROPPED OUT TO BECOME A MODEL IN THE LAST YEAR. I GUESS HE DIDN'T MAKE IT SO HE BECAME THE MANAGER OF STICKY FRIES. HE ALSO LIKED WHAM! A LOT AND HAD HIGHLIGHTS IN HIS HAIR. HE YELLED AT US TO LEAVE OR HE WAS GOING TO CALL THE POLICE. "I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS ON YOU!" HE YELLED AND WE TRIED TO EXPLAIN ABOUT THE RANCID SANDWICH. HE SAID HE DIDN'T CARE AND THEN PATRICK CALLED THE COUNTER WOMAN A CUNT AND SHE MUST HAVE HEARD BECAUSE SHE RAN BACK INTO VIEW AND STARTED HOLLERING OUT THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH AT US, AND CALLED US A BUNCH OF LOW-LIFES.
"HAHA!" WE LAUGHED, "WE ARE LOW-LIFES! BUT AT LEAST WE DON'T WORK THE MIDNIGHT SHIFT AT STICKY FRIES AND LISTEN TO NON-STOP WHAM! TAPES WHILE WE MOP THE FLOOR AFTER CLOSING!" COUNTER WOMAN JUST STARED AT US IN DISBELIEF BECAUSE WE'D OBVIOUSLY HIT A BULLSEYE WITH THAT COMMENT. THEN PATRICK THREW THE CHICKEN SANDWICH OUT THE WINDOW OF THE CAR, THROUGH THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH AND HIT THE WOMAN IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. SHE STARTED SCREAMING AGAIN AND NIGEL DROPPED THE CAR INTO GEAR AND WE PEELED OUT, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
WE DROVE HOME AND MADE PATRICK A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH AND WOKE EVERYBODY UP LAUGHING ABOUT OUR NIGHT. PATRICK DIED ABOUT THREE WEEKS LATER BUT I DON'T THINK IT WAS THE RANCID CHICKEN.

AND I TYPED IT WITH MY COCK BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING AT A NAKED PICTURE OF DIXON.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 7:42,
archived)

I WILL BUST SOME ASS WIDE OPEN HERE.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 7:40,
archived)

I ONLY MADE UP A FEW MINOR PARTS AND I CHANGED MY FRIEND'S NAME TO NIGEL BECAUSE HE GOT WEIRDED OUT WHEN HIS BROTHER DIED. PATRICK DID THROW THE SANDWICH AND HIT HER IN THE HEAD LIKE THAT, THOUGH, AND HE WAS SPRAWLED OUT IN THE BACK SEAT. HE HAD A GREAT ARM.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 7:51,
archived)


THE SUPERMARKET WOULDN'T GIVE ME A REFUND SO I'VE BEEN STEALING STUFF FROM THEM EVER SINCE. SOME THINGS I JUST PALM OR POCKET, BUT I ALSO BUY PACKS OF VEGETABLES THAT ARE IN CARDBOARD CONTAINERS WITH SARAN WRAP OVER THEM, AND HAVE $1 MARKED ON THEM.
WHEN I GET HOME I EMPTY OUT THE VEGETABLES AND BRING THE CONTAINERS BACK TO THE STORE THE NEXT TIME AND FILL THEM HALFWAY UP WITH EXPENSIVE SHIT THEN THROW MUSHROOMS OR BRUSSEL SPROUTS OVERTOP. I HAVE ABOUT TEN TINY EXPENSIVE CONTAINERS OF NASAL SPRAY AND A WHOLE PILE OF WEIRD ESSENTIAL OILS FROM DOING THIS NOW.
I HATE BRUSSEL SPROUTS SO I END UP SWATTING THEM INTO THE 3-DOORS-DOWN NEIGHBOUR'S YARD WITH MY SQUASH RACQUET. I DON'T USE NASAL SPRAY EITHER, BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:03,
archived)
WHEN I GET HOME I EMPTY OUT THE VEGETABLES AND BRING THE CONTAINERS BACK TO THE STORE THE NEXT TIME AND FILL THEM HALFWAY UP WITH EXPENSIVE SHIT THEN THROW MUSHROOMS OR BRUSSEL SPROUTS OVERTOP. I HAVE ABOUT TEN TINY EXPENSIVE CONTAINERS OF NASAL SPRAY AND A WHOLE PILE OF WEIRD ESSENTIAL OILS FROM DOING THIS NOW.
I HATE BRUSSEL SPROUTS SO I END UP SWATTING THEM INTO THE 3-DOORS-DOWN NEIGHBOUR'S YARD WITH MY SQUASH RACQUET. I DON'T USE NASAL SPRAY EITHER, BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING.

brilliant stories 'THE SANDWICH IS RANCID, WE WANT ANOTHER ONE' is going to be said the very next time someone gives me a sandwich :)
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:01,
archived)

IT'S HAPPENED.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:05,
archived)

me: THE SANDWICH IS RANCID, WE WANT ANOTHER ONE
person: Oh... I'm sorry, try this one
me: "I'M YOUR MAN"
person: ???
Patricks ghost: hungry but a little more at peace
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:17,
archived)
person: Oh... I'm sorry, try this one
me: "I'M YOUR MAN"
person: ???
Patricks ghost: hungry but a little more at peace

I USED TO HAVE THE 45 OF IT (YEAH, RECORDS, I'M OLD) AND I'D PLAY IT ON 33. SLOWED DOWN, WHAM! SOUNDS LIKE OLD BLACK MEN SINGING DEEP BASS, SO I'D PLAY IT FOR PEOPLE AND TELL THEM IT WAS THE ORIGINAL BY THE FOUR MOONBEAMS OR SOME SHIT AND WHAM! HAD JUST COVERED IT, BADLY. SOME STUPID PEOPLE BELIEVED ME, EVEN IF THEY LOOKED AT THE WRITING CREDIT FOR GEORGE MICHAEL AND THE GUY EVERYONE'S FORGOTTEN ABOUT. I'D TELL THEM THAT WHITE ARTISTS ALWAYS STOLE FROM BLACK MUSICIANS AND THEY'D BELIEVE ME BECAUSE THEY WERE STUPID.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:23,
archived)

FULL METAL FALSETTO.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:49,
archived)

...waite...
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:24,
archived)

/Neck-bearded geek humour blog
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_(monster)
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:26,
archived)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_(monster)

when i was about 10 my dad acciendtly deleted everything apart from dos off his ancient pc, so being a proto-geek borrowed a bunch of 51/4" discs of my mate's dad that were full of stuff like zork :)
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:31,
archived)

They often spent much more time and effort to
keep rude words from being used than they
did with the game logic. Rude vocab in some
was ten times the known usable list.
Fucking stupid shits! [/;-)
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:35,
archived)
keep rude words from being used than they
did with the game logic. Rude vocab in some
was ten times the known usable list.
Fucking stupid shits! [/;-)

especially considering smut like leisure suit larry wasn't long after those games
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:38,
archived)

and the reactions thereof
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:49,
archived)

wait
"time passes"
wait
"time passes"
turn off torch
"YOU ARE EATEN BY A GRUE, TWAT"
bah!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:45,
archived)
"time passes"
wait
"time passes"
turn off torch
"YOU ARE EATEN BY A GRUE, TWAT"
bah!

you do not have the eleven sword. that's not a thing. you meant to type elven didn't you? too late the grue got you now.
twat.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:52,
archived)
twat.

"You see a small gold key in a glass bottle"
:get key
"what key?"
:get key in glass bottle
"the bottle is closed"
:open bottle
"the bottle is protected by an invisible force"
:smash bottle
"the bottle is protected by an invisible force"
:fuck this
"You are eaten by a grue, twat"
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:55,
archived)
:get key
"what key?"
:get key in glass bottle
"the bottle is closed"
:open bottle
"the bottle is protected by an invisible force"
:smash bottle
"the bottle is protected by an invisible force"
:fuck this
"You are eaten by a grue, twat"

That is the fucking shitty way to do it indeed.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:08,
archived)

some of them were jmust horriffic
had one that basically if you didn't know the exact sequence of directions to go, you were dead
that's it, the end
no logic, no skill, just a case of get it right or wrong, stupid load of crap
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:11,
archived)
had one that basically if you didn't know the exact sequence of directions to go, you were dead
that's it, the end
no logic, no skill, just a case of get it right or wrong, stupid load of crap

it makes me angry
I'll have to schedule running out into the street and burning something later
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:14,
archived)
I'll have to schedule running out into the street and burning something later

4:16AM: b3ta about for a bit
5AM: start one man riot
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:17,
archived)
5AM: start one man riot

5:23AM Decide to make cheeseburgers
5:43AM Remember that I was going to make cheeseburgers
6:03AM Remember that involves going into the kitchen
6:04AM Discover cheese absence
6:05AM Once stop crying Return to b3ta with a glass of pop
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:21,
archived)
5:43AM Remember that I was going to make cheeseburgers
6:03AM Remember that involves going into the kitchen
6:04AM Discover cheese absence
6:05AM Once stop crying Return to b3ta with a glass of pop

i'm at the girlfriends waiting for her to finish her fucking translation work, she has only salad food. i'm a red blooded man! i'll die! i'll fucking die!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:24,
archived)

now I get quality birdys eyes 8 circles of frozen non rancid gut for £2+
:D
I have all the meats! ahh yeah!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:26,
archived)
:D
I have all the meats! ahh yeah!

a total mindless insult to the intelligence plotless action movie
3 elements
dude, hot chick
and evil guy
and in that there's, apc chases with big rigs and exchanges of rockets, fleets of steath fighters, flying helicopters through bank lobbys, on fire, nuclear missiles and fucking people running about screaming in mayhem
should be fun :D
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:52,
archived)
3 elements
dude, hot chick
and evil guy
and in that there's, apc chases with big rigs and exchanges of rockets, fleets of steath fighters, flying helicopters through bank lobbys, on fire, nuclear missiles and fucking people running about screaming in mayhem
should be fun :D

everyone wearing armoured trenchcoats. even the post man and mcdonald's emlpoyees.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:02,
archived)

hmm, guy in a trenchcoat who smokes a lot, he sounds cool
but is he good or evil?
HAHA ambiguous!
the movie is now deep :D
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:03,
archived)
but is he good or evil?
HAHA ambiguous!
the movie is now deep :D

"humanity is... a dandelion, mr Kuhl-zoundink-neihm. we are weeds, we grow everywhere, have heads that disperse into the air when blown, taste great as a fizzy liquid when combined with burdock, we... i've got a bit lost here haven't i?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:10,
archived)

I will try and get this in a script somewhere
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:12,
archived)

i keep meaning to actually get round to writing a damn script but i'm the most work shy person ever. the best i ever managed was adapting a scene from a Robert Rankin novel for the stage.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:14,
archived)

due to my.. er... obvious issues
but it's like real work
plus putting a coherent narrative even if it's a sequence of one load of cobblers after another is really hard work
and I'm a lazy twat, I'll probably get killed by a grue
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:16,
archived)
but it's like real work
plus putting a coherent narrative even if it's a sequence of one load of cobblers after another is really hard work
and I'm a lazy twat, I'll probably get killed by a grue

clogging up our ecosystem!
it'll end up in chaos, man, choas! cohas! caohs!
edit: and it just occured to me: grue's with tits
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:24,
archived)
it'll end up in chaos, man, choas! cohas! caohs!
edit: and it just occured to me: grue's with tits

though over summer we should write a b-movie. do a scene each or summat. that way it'd have a wonderful disjointed feel
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:21,
archived)

could be worth a laugh, I guarrantee I won't be able to make 1 shit of sense
:D
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:23,
archived)
:D

that would be fun
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:26,
archived)

i've got to help my girlfriend with her translation stuff for a bit. we shall discuss this further tomorrow.
night b3ta
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:33,
archived)
night b3ta

Drop me a/the story and I'll make a comic out of something for it.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:38,
archived)

I should have set this bird down as a blue rock thrush or passero
solitario, for I know these birds breed yearly on the Sacro Monte,
and no bird sings so sweetly as they do, but we are expressly told
that Caimi did not reach Varallo till the end of the year, and the
passeri solitarii have all migrated by the end of August.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:12,
archived)
solitario, for I know these birds breed yearly on the Sacro Monte,
and no bird sings so sweetly as they do, but we are expressly told
that Caimi did not reach Varallo till the end of the year, and the
passeri solitarii have all migrated by the end of August.


A danger of observation and collecting of data is that you end up finding meta-situations;
perhaps you realize that in the end, all skateboarding is performance art, and then you realize
that all athletic endeavors are performance art, and then, eventually, you realize that performance
is one of the main human traits.... and so on, until finally you've encompassed all of existence
into a huge "meta-performance paradigm" and nobody knows what the fuck you're talking about.
In fact, while you're not being listened to anymore because your stuff doesn't appear to have relevance,
you occasionally pipe up with "I thought of that first!" when you see someone applying similar
thought trains to yours in a random forum or situation, and then you act like you "own" all this
and consider it "old hat" and then you're not just a irrelevant cloud-head, you're an asshole
irrelevant cloud-head with a persecution complex.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:31,
archived)
perhaps you realize that in the end, all skateboarding is performance art, and then you realize
that all athletic endeavors are performance art, and then, eventually, you realize that performance
is one of the main human traits.... and so on, until finally you've encompassed all of existence
into a huge "meta-performance paradigm" and nobody knows what the fuck you're talking about.
In fact, while you're not being listened to anymore because your stuff doesn't appear to have relevance,
you occasionally pipe up with "I thought of that first!" when you see someone applying similar
thought trains to yours in a random forum or situation, and then you act like you "own" all this
and consider it "old hat" and then you're not just a irrelevant cloud-head, you're an asshole
irrelevant cloud-head with a persecution complex.

HIS ASS!
and cya.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 4:40,
archived)
and cya.
![Challenge Entry: Photoshop money [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)

small and perky like

Or they will be back to whining about size. 50kish for stills BTW.
And edit button, rather than delete is better. YMMV HTH ETC.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:13,
archived)
And edit button, rather than delete is better. YMMV HTH ETC.

i dont get whats wrong. photoshop tells me its 72k when i save it? the explorer tells me its 79k. is the pic just trying to act big on the internet?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:19,
archived)

Set your JPG quality to 50% and you should get around 48k.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:21,
archived)

no offence here but how come you've got the talent to make this but don't know how to optimise.
seriously not an insult, just genuine suprise
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:23,
archived)
seriously not an insult, just genuine suprise

i've never had to make files of 100k smaller, so i've never used 'save for web'. but my bad, fixed now. and its fun to learn new things :)
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:32,
archived)

:D
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:48,
archived)

I know that cat from somewhere..
edit: haha! Cheezburgers...
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:15,
archived)
edit: haha! Cheezburgers...

you can has cheezburger
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:43,
archived)

It's probably a sign of how immature I am, but I fell over laughing.
In other words, I lolled.
( ,
Mon 26 May 2008, 18:30,
archived)
In other words, I lolled.

any chance of 1280x800?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:17,
archived)

bloody hell up close its even more good
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:24,
archived)

unless your a Mac(Donalds) user.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:28,
archived)

that is fucking intense - woo yay & hooplah!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:11,
archived)

"The image “http://veimages.gsfc.nasa.gov//1438/nightearth.gif” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors."
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:59,
archived)

I really like this.. got alot of atmosphere, actiona bout to kick off... and he fly thing going on adds alot of qwuirkyness!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:19,
archived)

*plastic cuffs
Woo.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:22,
archived)
Woo.

because we're watching you. we're always watching you.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:24,
archived)

I'm thinking Chemical Bros. for some reason

Self portrait, last summer.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:24,
archived)

Self portrait, last summer.

Setting Sun - Coming On Strong Video
I remember that it was time when I had MTV on
chipped cable and loads of mushrooms that year.
That vid 'caught' my imagination.
And had a strange flashback type thing when I
was painting this, althought I just throw down
colours and see where it takes me. I started off
with the flurenant yellow grey and black and
this is that it developed into.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:27,
archived)
I remember that it was time when I had MTV on
chipped cable and loads of mushrooms that year.
That vid 'caught' my imagination.
And had a strange flashback type thing when I
was painting this, althought I just throw down
colours and see where it takes me. I started off
with the flurenant yellow grey and black and
this is that it developed into.

star guitar, laser light show, mist sweeping over the fog, ohmyfuckingsweetchrist'scockthatsbeautiful
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:38,
archived)

If you aloow it to continue, the sun will die.. please expell your energy...
Kthanx
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:28,
archived)
Kthanx

But not till im dead right? RIGHT?
*Panics like a child*
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:33,
archived)
*Panics like a child*

following some new techniques from a DVD I have bought. I'm having issues working from underpainting to detail and keep losing stuff but I expect that's my lack of knowledge more than anything.
Hehe, you know my thoughts on wips in a new thread. I'm just not in the mood for being a cunt. My dad has upset me ( more than I thought he could )
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:45,
archived)
Hehe, you know my thoughts on wips in a new thread. I'm just not in the mood for being a cunt. My dad has upset me ( more than I thought he could )

Whats Wip by the way?
I really like this..
I think the progression of a single piece of art has as much value as the comic strips people post etc..
And I think this particular one has 1million times the worth than a 5 minute sketch from my self that i post occasionaly..
Stop being a silly begger...
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:49,
archived)
I really like this..
I think the progression of a single piece of art has as much value as the comic strips people post etc..
And I think this particular one has 1million times the worth than a 5 minute sketch from my self that i post occasionaly..
Stop being a silly begger...

is work in progress and they have great value both for giving tips and receiving help. However we have an old niggle about some people posting them in a new thread every 30 minutes. I find that more 'look at me' than 'look what I'm doing'
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:51,
archived)

painter looks amazing, i think its probably a bit out of my leauge but i'm really impressed at what it can do.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:49,
archived)

If its possible to describe? Because this looks like the acness allready!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:45,
archived)

total photo realism in the manner of this lady www.faysartstudio.com/ and I am following her video tutorials on painter. The tutorials are excellent but it's not like a photoshop tutorial were you do this, do that to make the same as something else. It's just detailed descriptions of technique and I'm far from mastering some of them.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:48,
archived)


because I know filters inside out and I know there is nothing will do that for you.
Besides considering that she charges a minimum of $8000 for a small portrait you think I'll care what b3ta thinks if I feel I get skilled enough to take commissions?
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Fri 23 May 2008, 2:54,
archived)
Besides considering that she charges a minimum of $8000 for a small portrait you think I'll care what b3ta thinks if I feel I get skilled enough to take commissions?

is $30k. She is considered one of the most accomplished digital artists in the world and is one of Corel's 'masters'. She can of course do it just the same with paint and canvas.
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Fri 23 May 2008, 3:00,
archived)

i'm sure someone like that could do a portrait with sand and pritt-stick :) there's something not quite right with her eyes though, there's something missing
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Fri 23 May 2008, 3:05,
archived)

other painter artists are available.
www.artofconway.com/index.php?page=gallery
www.androidjones.com/
blackeri.deviantart.com/
and it's images like this that make me persevere.
On that note it is bedtime.
nn.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 3:13,
archived)
www.artofconway.com/index.php?page=gallery
www.androidjones.com/
blackeri.deviantart.com/
and it's images like this that make me persevere.
On that note it is bedtime.
nn.

hopefully yours will be less creepy than hers!
I dunno bout that whole thing, Photorealistic is imprssive, but i still like a bit of human interpritation, you know, either the personality of the subjkect coming though..or that of the artist, or that of the situation between the two?
Im shite at art, but its what i like to see..
what are your thoughts on that?
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:52,
archived)
I dunno bout that whole thing, Photorealistic is imprssive, but i still like a bit of human interpritation, you know, either the personality of the subjkect coming though..or that of the artist, or that of the situation between the two?
Im shite at art, but its what i like to see..
what are your thoughts on that?

I just feel it's one of many styles and they all have a place.
I personally love abstract and wild colours ( even for portraits ) but it's just another skill I'm trying to learn. I figure that if you are at a point where you can paint something that people have to look at a few times to realise it's not a photo then everything else should come so much easier.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:58,
archived)
I personally love abstract and wild colours ( even for portraits ) but it's just another skill I'm trying to learn. I figure that if you are at a point where you can paint something that people have to look at a few times to realise it's not a photo then everything else should come so much easier.

the original 'why show work in progress, you gits?' pedant himself.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 8:52,
archived)

So this suddenly dawned on me.. Paddy Ashdown, National Hero.. Charles Kennedy was a legend, Menzies was acness (im aLabour member by the way) But Nick Clegg?

( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 1:47,
archived)


*wikis*
*edits in link*
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Clegg
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 1:51,
archived)
*edits in link*
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Clegg

Half measures never work. [/;-D
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 1:59,
archived)

Apparently most of the country fucking hate the idea of an athiest in power.. but cant be arsed to either vote, or go to church..
What a country we live in eh!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:02,
archived)
What a country we live in eh!

As the wise man said...
"No matter who you vote for, the government always gets in!"
www.neilinnes.org/N.htm#nomatter
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:09,
archived)
"No matter who you vote for, the government always gets in!"
www.neilinnes.org/N.htm#nomatter

gronky might hear you and the arguement will go on all night :)
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:05,
archived)

And I his.
But more to the point ... GRUNTPAIN AND I COULD FUCKING DO FUCKING THAT ON FUCKING ANYTHING.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:12,
archived)
But more to the point ... GRUNTPAIN AND I COULD FUCKING DO FUCKING THAT ON FUCKING ANYTHING.


As I can usually win those. HAHAHA!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:20,
archived)

Looking at the pic on that wiki.. im quite proud of my drunken scetch from memory of Nick Clegg
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Fri 23 May 2008, 2:04,
archived)

It is good. I'm sure that's what the professionals actually do too.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:15,
archived)

lib dems have a new leader?? (and by new i mean 7 months ago)
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:52,
archived)

to be precise. Order properly.
It was so much better when Vince Cable was in charge :(
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 1:51,
archived)
It was so much better when Vince Cable was in charge :(

the guys got some bloody good ideas. i mean fair enough he's just our Cameron but he's OURS. still.... 
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 1:57,
archived)


And the Labour party would start to listen to the likes of moi if you did!
I fucking dispair at Labour when it comes to national politics, localy though its as it should be.. I dont understand where the disconect is.
Labour members are lefty, but some how, Labour Cabinet members are Thatcherite tosspots hell bent on the destruction of everybody except millionares...
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:01,
archived)
I fucking dispair at Labour when it comes to national politics, localy though its as it should be.. I dont understand where the disconect is.
Labour members are lefty, but some how, Labour Cabinet members are Thatcherite tosspots hell bent on the destruction of everybody except millionares...



People vote for Labour to keep the tories out of power.. but whats the point when Labour think to keep the tories out, they need to act like the tories.
Im too young to remember John Smith, but I read recently in the Guardian, the parts of the Labour party I joined for, are John Smiths Labour party.. Minimum wage etc.. the parts of the party I hate, the "conservative" ones are ALL Brown and Blair..
What the fuck is going on?
Not that it matters at all what I think.. Where i live is 51% tory, so never any chance of my vote mattering, so whats the fucking point... exactly why 58% turn out in crewe tonight is seen as "high"
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:10,
archived)
Im too young to remember John Smith, but I read recently in the Guardian, the parts of the Labour party I joined for, are John Smiths Labour party.. Minimum wage etc.. the parts of the party I hate, the "conservative" ones are ALL Brown and Blair..
What the fuck is going on?
Not that it matters at all what I think.. Where i live is 51% tory, so never any chance of my vote mattering, so whats the fucking point... exactly why 58% turn out in crewe tonight is seen as "high"

there's never been anyone other than a tory in power since the magna carta.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:17,
archived)

Because you cant even vote "tacticaly"
Because even if the 49% none tory vote grouped together, the 51% would still beat them...
This in my constituency.. one of the few northern ones that is a safe tory seat.. where the tory MP is a fucking bitch who seriusly doesnt give a shit, will lie to to us constantly.. ie.. " no I wont allow any more deveopment in this market town" and allows it.. but will oppose openly an ecological estate within a constituency neighbouring ours..
Also, when I asked her whether she had actualy read the "EU Constitution" she changed the subkject to "It doesnt matter, people deserve the right to vote".. So If some one who is PAYED and VOTED IN to read such a document, cant be arsed, what does she expect of the voting public?
ANNE MCINTOSH IS A TWAT!
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:25,
archived)
Because even if the 49% none tory vote grouped together, the 51% would still beat them...
This in my constituency.. one of the few northern ones that is a safe tory seat.. where the tory MP is a fucking bitch who seriusly doesnt give a shit, will lie to to us constantly.. ie.. " no I wont allow any more deveopment in this market town" and allows it.. but will oppose openly an ecological estate within a constituency neighbouring ours..
Also, when I asked her whether she had actualy read the "EU Constitution" she changed the subkject to "It doesnt matter, people deserve the right to vote".. So If some one who is PAYED and VOTED IN to read such a document, cant be arsed, what does she expect of the voting public?
ANNE MCINTOSH IS A TWAT!

i'm very happy with the morphing, all hand done you know :) god i fucking hate labour
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:22,
archived)

But that's just me.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:05,
archived)

I'd eat people meat if it was sold in the shops, I wouldn't want to hunt one down and fillet one though.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 1:31,
archived)

for storing all of the tasty warm juices that leak out
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 1:31,
archived)

and just my style.
www.ekmpowershop4.com/ekmps/shops/westedcom/famous-filmwear-8-c.asp
I have a similar cut jacket. Borgo Panigale.
www.speedycom.co.uk/shop/pictures/thumbnails/t_17049.jpg
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 2:04,
archived)
www.ekmpowershop4.com/ekmps/shops/westedcom/famous-filmwear-8-c.asp
I have a similar cut jacket. Borgo Panigale.
www.speedycom.co.uk/shop/pictures/thumbnails/t_17049.jpg

just cor
i like that a lot a lot. i even clicked to prove it.
( ,
Fri 23 May 2008, 1:58,
archived)
i like that a lot a lot. i even clicked to prove it.
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