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Previously

My stuff

(

Butters and his titanium codsocket, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

hahahaha

this is wrong on so many levels

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:54, archived)

hmmm... TAXI !!

(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55, archived)

This one is dark

Excellent stuff!

(

GneissRocks and slatey cleavage, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55, archived)

It's not that bad?

* Try adjusting with you monitors brightness.

NOTE: Woo to the cartoon (and the previous one)

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:06, archived)

fuckingwoo

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56, archived)

Hahaha

(

XLVII .uk, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56, archived)

hehe :)

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56, archived)

Hahahah! office lollage!

love this series!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:57, archived)

You'll be pleased to know there's plenty more to come.

(

Butters and his titanium codsocket, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:02, archived)

Hurrah!

(

We are the lemon irked your craw on, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:06, archived)

yaaaaaay!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:17, archived)

GLEE!

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:57, archived)

Yikes.

Not least because they remind me of Gilbert and George.

(

Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:58, archived)

This is all of the awesomes. I'm clicking so hard my firngers snapped.

(

WHTRZ Corp dosen't like the sound of Rupert watching porn, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:59, archived)

hahahaha!

(

We are the lemon irked your craw on, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:00, archived)

Wonderful!

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:01, archived)

That's pretty creepy.

which is good.
*clicks*

(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:03, archived)

Aw!

*cries*

(

Joliet, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:06, archived)

belated woo

front pageit

(

Barry the Time Sprout one of your 5-a-day, Fri 23 May 2008, 17:39, archived)

Fellow b3tans, a word of advice... keep out of the garden at night.

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:51, archived)

Paaarrrrpppppppppp

Brown trouser fear...
Do you think that they will let me change into a clean pair, before they pop drinking staws into my eyes and suck out the vitreous humour?

(

The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

this is awesome

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

oooh, nasty

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

NSFW NSFA aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

I'm too scared even to shit myself

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

Marvellous work!

Have a click!

(

Thinker, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:53, archived)

Feck!

*locks doors*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:53, archived)

pretty.

I reckon they would kick anyone's ass.

(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:54, archived)

Did he take upsidaisy up the wrong'un

she looks riled!

Wooclick

(

XLVII .uk, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:54, archived)

great!

don't fook with Igglepiggle, he'll rip you a knew one

(

fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:54, archived)

What's in the sack?

WHAT'S IN THE SACK?

(

Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55, archived)

That's no sack.

That's Iggle Piggle's blanket, red with the blood of his victims.

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:58, archived)

Thats superb!

*click*

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55, archived)

O.o

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:57, archived)

hahaha

thats ace!! :D

(

Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:58, archived)

Iggle Piggle THIS motherfunkster!

Woo!

(

Joliet, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:07, archived)

Nice Lens Flair.

Regardless, that's awesome!
Clickety Mc Click!

(TheHBoxster is probably playing Beatles Rock Band on, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:20, archived)

splendid

and congrats on baby news :)

(

eclectech is older but no wiser, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:25, archived)

Thanks! He's great fun and a really happy little chap.

He started smiling this week. Brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it...
:D

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:57, archived)

Ace!

Woo!

As the father of a toddler I endorse the ridiculing this programme...

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:56, archived)

It's been in my head for days

"Where the fuck is that ox flesh I asked for?"

(

Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:43, archived)

hahahaha

hahahaha fucking yes

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:44, archived)

This would be better

I'd even watch it, and possibly care.

(

Thinker, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45, archived)

*snort*

(

Ratsta, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45, archived)

heheheheh!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:46, archived)

haha

first chuckle of the day

(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:48, archived)

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:48, archived)

pffft.... offfice lol

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:48, archived)

Yule watch this, and Yule bloody well enjoy it.

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:49, archived)

Hahahaghhhh

/hurts when I laugh blog.

(

XLVII .uk, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:51, archived)

Nice.

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

*clicks*

*clicks again*
What the hell, it's good enough... *clicks a third time*

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55, archived)

That's right...

...click, my pretties.

(

Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:57, archived)

*clicks again*

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 23 May 2008, 10:31, archived)

Hehe

(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:43, archived)

The bomb was in my office building - we were evacuated and forced to the pub.

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:34, archived)

A bomb?

An exploding bomb?

(

Ratsta, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:34, archived)

I believe it involved nails.

We (by which I mean Fluffy, since I did not) saw one man with blood on his mush, but it appears that he was the bomber.

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:36, archived)

we got bombed a while back

didn't go off, because we caught it in time.
Glad to hear your bomber was the IP.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:38, archived)

as in TCP?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:41, archived)

Injured Party

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:44, archived)

sounds like a shit party

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:46, archived)

Hey, assholes.

here are more assholes for your suckfest, assholes.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:47, archived)

wouldn't that be called a Scat Party?

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:53, archived)

ain't no party

like an s-cat party

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55, archived)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/

has no mention of bomb! I think you're making things up!

(

Ratsta, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:41, archived)

don't not believe everything you don't

read on the internet!

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:41, archived)

erm

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/7415470.stm

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:42, archived)

cor blimey you're 'avin a giraffe

aintchya?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:42, archived)

Oh I don't fucking know.

I'm tired and you're probably being sarcastic.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:43, archived)

*cuddles*

poor tired captain... shall I read you a bed time story?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:44, archived)

People are dickheads.

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:44, archived)

look at the TV breaking during the football the other week.

"Our T.V. broke. What a shame. Let's throw BRICKS AT FUCKING POLICEMEN."

who, exactly, could possibly justify that kind of response. It's fucking shameful. We're a doomed species and we fucking deserve it.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:47, archived)

Yeah, agreed

Though apparently most of the fuss was caused by people who weren't fans anyway and were literally just looking for any excuse to lob bricks at fucking policemen.

Which, in some respects, makes it all the more idiotic.

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:50, archived)

Pointless fucking wankers

and they are everywhere.

*sings*
I've been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding,
the cream is floating and feeding,
and I don't even own a TV.

They put me in a hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me,
you told them all I was crazy,
they cut off my legs, now I'm an amputee god damn you...

I'm not sick but I'm not well...

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:54, archived)

I think what's most tragic

is that a bomb blast in the UK is no longer front page news (while jet lag is) :(

(

Ratsta, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45, archived)

at least the A Team nurses are there too

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/lincolnshire/7414982.stm

(

The Snockerty Friddle, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:47, archived)

I disagree

Firstly, it was a pathetic attempt at a bombing by someone with severe mental problems, probably no links to serious terrorists, and who only managed to injure himself.

Secondly, the whole point of terrorism is not to kill people but to scare them. By making every incident front page news, we have been playing the terrorist's game, and letting them win.

(orukusaki actually fucking posted something for a change, on, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:26, archived)

Rizzle fo' shizzle?

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:36, archived)

Rizzle, as you say,

fo' shizzle.

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article3988862.ece

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:39, archived)

the new £230 million Princesshay shopping centre.

I love the uneccesary detail

Poor big bugger.

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:40, archived)

Crikey.

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:43, archived)

why were you bombed?

Are you crypto-jews? The money-handling, cock-circumcising, pork-shunning, code-making, code-breaking children of motherfucking Israel?

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:36, archived)

Cryptofascists

*puts sparkly suit on*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:36, archived)

we gonna rule you, like it or not, and we'll do it...

WITH A SIMPLE SUBSTITUTION CYPHER!

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37, archived)

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:38, archived)

*re-reads cryptonomicon*

*joins*
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:39, archived)

*Encrypts*

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:40, archived)

*eats cryptonomnomnomnomnom*

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:40, archived)

Your reply has filled me with Glee.

now I'm off to do SCIENCE!

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:44, archived)

SCIENCE is always best done under the influence of Glee.

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45, archived)

or Ghee

(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55, archived)

curriesnom

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:57, archived)

careful now

you may be affected with FACT

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45, archived)

FACT is a common side effect of SCIENCE

and contrary to popular belief is completely harmless

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:47, archived)

I'm 100% qualified for the safe handling of both SCIENCE! and FACT.

I'm allowed to handle FACT in concentrations up to and including 100% of FACT.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:49, archived)

does this mean that you are also a licenced dispenser of TRUTH?

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:51, archived)

yes

in courts

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56, archived)

'ning

*molests*

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:41, archived)

Wotcher sporran.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:42, archived)

why, is someone likely to try and grab it? :D

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:53, archived)

seriously? cripes... been an odd couple of weeks then...

a stabbing, a suicide, and now a bomb...

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37, archived)

A stabbing, a suicide, and now a bomb...

All in Pedantichrist's Office!

Where does he work? Hull Childrens Home?

Oh and

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:40, archived)

IVE BEEN MISINTERPRETED! NOOOOO!

:D

Edit: ooops, how rude of me, Ningles!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:42, archived)

ning and t'ing

irie?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:43, archived)

shame they found it

/thinks up another plan

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:38, archived)

They didn't

it went off.

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:40, archived)

this place is going off, mate!

*gurns*

(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:51, archived)

ello prodge

you bin celebrating?

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:42, archived)

let's just say I staggered into work today :D

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56, archived)

\o/

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56, archived)

They were saying on the Today Programme (which I listen to)

that "... d00d w0z like well simpul init, and was rite into iz izlam uh woteva for reel!"

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:39, archived)

Good to hear that Radio 4

Has avoided dumbing down.

(

The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:43, archived)

yup

Jim Naughtie's Daily Realism Report in place of thought for the day is just progress imho

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45, archived)

Crikey

well glad you're safe

In the newspaper reports I love how they distinguish between "having mental illness" and "following the Islamic faith" as if they were different things

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:42, archived)

*bums embassy*

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:44, archived)

"following the islamic faith" - not mad

"Being a religious extremist in any religion" - mad as a mad cunt.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45, archived)

Especially considering that Islam preaches peace:

25:63:

The worshippers of the All-Merciful are they who tread gently upon the earth, and when the ignorant address them, they reply, "Peace!"

It's just that there will always be someone in any religion (or supposedly) that contorts and deforms the message to their own (usually politically minded) agenda. And those with no will of their own or those easily led types will be duped. But not everyone who has faith in something is mental. I'm CERTAINLY not.

I'm not trying to start the age old argument, but that kind of thinking really does get my back up.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:47, archived)

Crusades, anyone?

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:48, archived)

Yes, all Christians are mad warlike bastards.

Especially the ones in the 21st century. Because we've got time machines and went back to join in.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:49, archived)

As an atheist

I'm going to use mine to seduce Elizabeth I and become king of all England

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:51, archived)

Is it not quicker and easier to seduce

Liz II?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

oooh

*plans*

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55, archived)

youll need to put on a corgi coat

she likes it doggie style

(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:57, archived)

no thanks

we tried it once and it was shit. Fuckloads of people died.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:50, archived)

I know

whoever planned that little saga holiday was a right mong.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:51, archived)

this definition is right up there with

Llamas being "some sort of fliddy horse"

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

hahaha

proper tealol

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:54, archived)

I'm still proud of that one.

For some inexplicable reason.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:55, archived)

it's some of your finest work

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:57, archived)

the infidel reps were atrocious

(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:54, archived)

It also mentions burning the unbeliever

and putting the heretic to the sword

mind you the Jewish and Christian holy books aren't a great deal better

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:50, archived)

So does that mean I'm mentally ill in your eyes, because I have faith?

I'm honestly curious.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

depends on the faith.

I'm all for religion at a personal level, it's just organised religions and churches that seem to be the cause of people doing fuckittery and using god as an excuse.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56, archived)

I can't take responsibility for them.

But then I don't tar all atheists with the same brush, and there's plenty of fucking awful things commited by them.

Oh, I don't know. I just get a little fed up that because I choose to believe in something I get accused of being mentally ill, stupid or both, in some cases only so the accuser can feel a pat on the back from someone else (like all of the agreement that goes on here). It just seems... like schoolboy bullying to me. But then I suppose if the shoe were on the other foot I'd feel differently. And I DO have a preexisting massive persecution complex.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:00, archived)

I've seen fewer people

trying to justify their decision to be a horriffic fucktard through atheism than I have trying to justify it through religion.

If I were in an arguing mood I'd dispute your use of "choose to believe". If you believe it (in a faith-related sense) then you do, no choice about it. Doesn't make it wrong of course.

but I'm not in an arguing mood, I'm in a kittens and hugs mood. Why don't we ever get kittens in the lab? It's always knives and shit. Can't hug that shit, it's bad for you.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:04, archived)

Bad choice of words, I'm half concentrating on something else.

And yes, actually, I did make a choice, to finally admit it to MYSELF. I've been surrounded by atheists in my circle of friends all my life, and to 'come out' to them WAS a choice. But not to choose to have faith, you're right there.

Some still won't talk to me. Their loss.

Edit: also I'm not saying I have all the answers. I'm not saying I've studied the Bible in humungous depth for years and years and years. I just want to stand up for myself, as nobody else will.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:07, archived)

I demand you not have faith!*

_{*may be an imitation of mad super-atheists}

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:11, archived)

This is why I teach now.

There's marginally less knives in a classroom.

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 10:09, archived)

Would it be fair to say you pick the bits you like out of the bible?

I don't disparage anyone who has faith. It's those who try to force it upon me that I have trouble with.

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:57, archived)

you're not nuts though

er, I think

what am I trying to say?

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:58, archived)

I think you're trying to say:

I've...
had...
The time of my liiiiffffee....
and I Neeeever felt this way before...

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:00, archived)

have you been going through my bins?

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:02, archived)

not today, no

*sidles*

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:08, archived)

To be perfectly honest, yes.

If there's

A) a rational and natural explanation

and

B) an irrational explanation that invokes the supernatural

anyone who plumps for option B) despite no supporting evidence is, to my mind, insane.

But then again, that pretty much sums up every female I know. Most of my relationship problems stem from the fact that I run from a purely logical standpoint and have difficulty understanding overly emotional "reasoning", or indeed, faith.

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:59, archived)

So you'd never risk your life to save a loved one?

That's overly emotional reasoning.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:02, archived)

I dunno:

My personal value of my life = X
My personal value of loved one's life = Y

If X<Y then RUN TO THE FIRE.

This seems rationally emotional, rather than crezzy.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:07, archived)

Well, what Mockingbird said

but I've been told by many women that I'm too "reserved", to employ a euphemism.

And I just don't understand how there's any value in saying "this is impossible and there's no proof for it, yet I believe it anyway".

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:13, archived)

How is it impossible?

Improbable, certainly. But then so is winning the lottery.

I'm not trying to fight with you. I'm genuinely interested, although I didn't appreciate the sexism.

Also, there may be no 'value' in it to you, but then is that a viable excuse to throw around insults?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:17, archived)

Not trying to be sexist

None of my male friends have ever told me that I'm too emotionally reserved...even when I fail to muster a response to, say, an England penalty shoot-out. It's only the women in my life who seem to have a problem with it. Empirical evidence.

And I'm not trying to pick a fight, and I'm not trying to throw around insults, but to me insanity is characterised by believing impossible things to be true. I wouldn't insult you by saying "well, I think most people who have faith are insane but you're special", that would be dishonest. This is what I think. You asked, I'll tell you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but that's the way I roll. I do have friends who have faith and they know full well my feelings on the subject. Generally we talk about something else.

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:26, archived)

I agree,

I just do not think that there is an awfully large percentage of things which happen that fall into category A

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:20, archived)

www.jesusandmo.net/2008/05/13/stop/

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:51, archived)

My Muslim neighbours spend all day shouting at each other

peace my arse

they make fucking excellent treacly Iraqi coffee though

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

Hahahaha

quite

(

Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:45, archived)

I'd watch your embassy if I were you!

Edit: Oops, too late!

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:46, archived)

i once spent 6 hours in exeter waiting for a bus

i contemplated taking gelignite to the place

(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:50, archived)

Do you work amongst giraffes?

I'm glad I'm at home in bed!

(

XLVII .uk, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

we had a bomb scare

in bris the other week. police asked us to leave the pub, then realised standing next to the bus which the "bomb" was on was less safe so ordered us back in and made us continue drinking :D

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:48, archived)

A long time ago... in an office building far, far away...

I was given bomb training for a local council.
Part of the training was to listen and see if you noticed anything unusual about the caller. Like if he had a limp.

(Kaplaaah Wasting time on the net since 1994., Fri 23 May 2008, 13:48, archived)

"He actually cares for these Earth people."

(MistahG, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:19, archived)

yay!

That film rocked.. only the most evil men wear badly fitting 1970s flowing black robes

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:23, archived)

it's never quite the same watching it once you've seen Priscilla Queen of the Desert though

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:29, archived)

Kneel before 20D!

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:25, archived)

One nation under Zod

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:27, archived)

silly zod!

(

skullbuggery uh huh! kissed a cow!, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:28, archived)

pffft....

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:31, archived)

oh yes! HAHAHAHAH!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:32, archived)

*hums the zod theme tune*

Nicely done, sir.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37, archived)

Ningles matey!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:48, archived)

Great ningles, to you - my fine fellow!

How's down the road this morning?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:52, archived)

Grey...

but its Friday so I don't care.

Only 6 hours til lager time!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:56, archived)

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:46, archived)

Wipe that smile off your face young man!!!

woo and 'ningles.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:47, archived)

nings ghosty

do you know owt about monitors (studio kind not telly kind)?

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:48, archived)

That I would, what would you like to know?

I'm also a fountain of knowledge on the milk and hall monitors too.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:50, archived)

paedo

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:54, archived)

Oh I didn't mean like that!

I meant I fuck them.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:55, archived)

oh. that's alright then.

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:06, archived)

ah - I'm after a pair of not shit ones that are relatively small

cos they've got to go on a shelf that's not very big

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:58, archived)

What sorta price and spec you looking at?

Are you looking for speakon, jack or barewire.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:59, archived)

dunno - just a reasonably priced pair of small active nearfield

I'm not forking out 3 grand for a pair but I don't want to get a cheap pair that'll be shit

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:06, archived)

You could get a nice pair of resonably priced Mackies for a couple of hundred.

What size is the room and how much are you willing to pay?
Aditionally are you walls treated?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:19, archived)

it's a tiny cubicle type thing, only about 1.5m wide

which is why I'm not going to fork out for top end monitors cos it would be a waste

no treatment on the walls - two are brick and the other is just a stud wall

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:23, archived)

I didn't know walls were bred that way

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:26, archived)

To be honest I don't think what you get will make much of a difference.

With the size of that area with or without treatment the colourisation is going to me immense!
I think if you're EQing or mastering something then you'll need to use a decent pair of cans and then listen it afterwards on your HIFI.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:32, archived)

ahhh ok, that might be better

I seem to have a mistrust of EQing/mastering on headphones though

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37, archived)

Yeah it's basically a sterile way of doing it.

But if you are EQing etc anyway you have to bare in mind thatpeople will be listening to it on difference outputs annyway so you should check it on phones, hifis as well.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:16, archived)

Man?

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:49, archived)

I'm suprised that you didn't question the young

I'm sure it's not a concept you're familiar with:P

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:51, archived)

Young is from the past.

I feel very old this week.

Still, a bomb in my building, that's exiting.

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:53, archived)

Don't you mean Exeter?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:55, archived)

We are back in the office tonight, but it's all a bit scay

having a bomb downstairs.

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:09, archived)

i thought about you yesterday

not in a sexual way, but because of the bomb.

did the world move for you or were you blissfully unaware until you were told to leave the building?

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:22, archived)

This

but not yesterday, this morning.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:34, archived)

i've never heard it called that before ;)

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:55, archived)

Damn my fat fingers.

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:08, archived)

this is disturbingly slick

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:48, archived)

Braw!

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:50, archived)

Would.

Also, 'lo.

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:53, archived)

well, i can't see her giving good head

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:56, archived)

earsex

ftw

(

Dr. Blackwolf is sucking diesel on, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:10, archived)

Fuck me!

Kaplinsky?

She freaks me out enough as it is

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:00, archived)

all bbc women

are odd, IMO.. Attractive, but in a deliberately bland, middle class and inoffensive way

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:06, archived)

she's fucking rank

she's like an overstretched slice of haslet with lipstick

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:07, archived)

mmmm

haslet

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:09, archived)

yeah, gotta love mashed up pigs testicles

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:12, archived)

it's the only meat I ate as a kid

then I found out it wasn't actually a real meat

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:13, archived)

I keep upsetting Lady Scaramanga

cos I keep demanding we buy haslet when we shopping at the deli counter.

And it's all B3ta's fult

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:13, archived)

^ this

except with the ex-Mrs emvee and not Lady Scaramanga

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:25, archived)

HASLET

best of all the Bodmin Moor animals.

That's not a puma, it's a giant haslet, roaming the moor, looking for forgotten wellies to eat.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:17, archived)

I wish there to be a blurry photo of this in the Fortean Times next month

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:31, archived)

If ONLY.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:34, archived)

Is ahe saying....

Nomm Nomm Nomm ?

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:02, archived)

Oh.

I find this disturbingly erotic.

That's odd...

(

Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:04, archived)

[Danger Helvetica!]

(DrZaarlon Witchspace To Ra!, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:57, archived)

IF YOU KEEP THAT UP ONE DAY IT'LL FREEZE LIKE THAT.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:51, archived)

cor, that's pretty awesome

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:57, archived)

THANKS IT'S MY DAD HE'S DEAD.

NO WATE THAT'S A LIE. WELL HE IS DEAD BUT THANKS. HE MADE ME THE JUNKIE I AM TODAY. NIGHT BYE.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:01, archived)

looks like voldermort

(

skullbuggery uh huh! kissed a cow!, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:01, archived)

Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldy Voldy Voldy Voldemort...

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:13, archived)

Vorderman, Vordy Vordy Vorderman...

*Rubs thighs*

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:38, archived)

burgundy ectoplasm ftw

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:14, archived)

*squints*

ohhhh yeeeah.

Good Morrow, fair Sir Nibes.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:14, archived)

lo capn

fare thee well?

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:15, archived)

Oh yes.

It's Friday

It's PAYDAY

I'm going shopping tomorrow

I am a bit tired but then I never get more than 5-6 hours sleep, generally.

How are you?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:16, archived)

I am still full of Thai food

gawd, it's payday for me too, I just realised

HURRAH!

I went to bed at 1 and got up at 5.45, I must be nuts

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:19, archived)

*tired high-fives*

It doesn't matter, it's Saturday tomorrow. You up to owt nice?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:21, archived)

ah, I dunno, the weekend always creeps up on me

I might go and see the red kites at Aston Rowant if t'weather's good

or paint the bloody ceilings again

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:25, archived)

There's a kite that flies over my house quite a lot.

He's HUGE. Absolutely beautiful to watch.

I need to paint my ceiling, but that's going to involve scaffolding (I quite want to do a skyscape thing but it's 10 foot up...)

Back in a mo...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:27, archived)

oh to have high ceilings

I used to be able to put my hand flat on our ceiling - the new ceiling has gained us about 6cm :|

still, our bathroom's finished now and it's FUCKING LOVELY

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:30, archived)

I should hope so!

Our not new bathroom's a pile of wank. ONE DAY I shall fix it up lovely.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37, archived)

That's dead good.

'Grandma, why does Granddad wear that really awful wig?'
'It's best if you don't ask.'

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:14, archived)

*shudders*

now that is just plain creepy.... *click!*

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:52, archived)

i'll just wheel this out again

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:54, archived)

hahahah!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:59, archived)

Well if we're wheeling 'em out...

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:13, archived)

AHAHAHAHAHA

*clicks*
*saves*
*lols again*

(

WHTRZ Corp dosen't like the sound of Rupert watching porn, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:04, archived)

:¬0

(

Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:54, archived)

nice one sir

you have invented a new concept in advertising hoarding.

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:00, archived)

I wish I could do this

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Fri 23 May 2008, 9:00, archived)

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:03, archived)

ning and woo!

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:06, archived)

Haha, nicely done!

Smooooooooooth....

*has Fridayitis*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:10, archived)

*reads as fridaytits

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:14, archived)

Well I've got them as well.

*checks*

SHIT I'VE GOT MY TUESDAY TITS ON.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:15, archived)

disaster

what a faux-pas.

Just keep quiet, no one'll notice.

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:16, archived)

*crosses arms*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:17, archived)

good thinking,

hard to type like that tho.

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:17, archived)

You're right.

*stacks various bits of stationery in front of chest*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:18, archived)

if anything yr bringing more attention to it

*thinks

Cardi'?

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:20, archived)

I'm already wearing one.

A lovely green one from TopShop.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:21, archived)

well then

should be ok, maybe plant a distraction elsewhere in the room for later in case you get hot

*passes flashbang 'nade

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:26, archived)

BANG FLASHY BANG BANG BANG

I need another one.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:28, archived)

and you're not just going to set it off again?

*passes

Careful now

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:30, archived)

BANG FLASHY BANG BANG BANG

I need another one *claps excitedly*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:35, archived)

sigh,

If you blow this last one you've only got yrself to blame if your tuesdaytits get exposed.

*passes

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:37, archived)

*tries very, very hard*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:38, archived)

good girl

*pats on the head

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:39, archived)

*beams*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:40, archived)

she'd have been better shaving her head, rather then wearing a fake bald wig

as it gives her head a strange shape.

WOO and 'Ning! fella

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:19, archived)

Ning, oh noisy one.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:24, archived)

it is a bit coneheady

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:26, archived)

23rd May

(PagettyPol something something something, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:20, archived)

lully!

i'll just slip this in here, because i intend doing a sequel later

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:23, archived)

nice

i see you've updated it since last time.

WOO!

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:25, archived)

more lovely

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:23, archived)

Oooh!

*click*
Morning loveliness :]

(

ClanSoul, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:24, archived)

*Clicks*

Smashing

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:24, archived)

I have many reasons to love this one today.

*spins plastic themed ratchet*

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:24, archived)

Yays:D

Id he a cloud repair man? You can see wher he'd applied the patch.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:28, archived)

superb

these are nearly always at the top of the board when I wake, tis a goodway to start the day.

(

fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 23 May 2008, 8:28, archived)

ooooh all floaty!

'ningles to the /board!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:31, archived)

That is really quite special.

I defy anyone to post anything better today.

(

Jamie_W If your life had a face I would punch it., Fri 23 May 2008, 8:31, archived)

ANYTHING BETTER

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:35, archived)

well if the rest of the day is

going to be more pictures of maddie or freddie mercury on £5 notes, then the outlook is bleak for today

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:36, archived)

heh

yes, I like how the compo is so vague that Maddie/Freddie/seamy cocks are valid entries

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:45, archived)

You could be correct, as I was only going to post this new one.

And now, have done so...e.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:44, archived)

That is

rather clever.

(

Ratsta, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:33, archived)

FUCK YEAH. WE LOVE AIRSHIPS.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:33, archived)

Hahahah I love that

(

ClanSoul, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:40, archived)

I PUT UP HUGE POSTERS OF IT IN SHOP CLASSES OF LOCAL HIGH SCHOOLS HERE.

THERE WERE SEVERAL HUNDRED SUICIDES REPORTED WITHIN HOURS.

I'M NOT SORRY.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:48, archived)

I'M GOING TO TEACH A SMALL CHILD TO LAUGH WHENEVER THE WORD "SUICIDE" IS USED.

THAT WILL BE FUN.

(

ClanSoul, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:56, archived)

TELL THEM 'SUICIDE' IS SPANISH FOR 'NIPPLE'.

CHILDREN CANNOT BE TAUGHT, THEY ARE STUPID CREATURES LESS EVOLVED THAN THE COMMON WURM.

MY PINKIES ARE PAINED, I AM OFF TO BEDLAND.

GOOD NIGHT ALL.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:00, archived)

CYA PB!

REST YOUR MULES.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:03, archived)

GOODNIGHT POSTBEAR.

I WISH UPON YOU MANY SWEET DREAMS OF TURNIPS AND WEDNESDAY ICE CREAM.

(

ClanSoul, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:18, archived)

Haha!

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:50, archived)

SUBSEQUENT ZEPPELINS HAD TO CHANGE THEIR NAME DUE TO LITIGATION FROM THE GHOST OF JOHN BONHAM.

THE HONEYDRIPPERS WAS ALL THE FORMER STONED HIPPIES COULD COME UP WITH, AND THEY SUCKED ASS.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:55, archived)

The subsequnt Zeppelins look like cock

coincidence? Or a conspiracy!?

(

..wil, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:06, archived)

cor this is good - excellent colouring

'ning b3ta

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:34, archived)

I like this.

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:49, archived)

very nice.

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:00, archived)

lovely stuff :)

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:40, archived)

Lovely

lovely

lovely.

(

A!. touching Shatner's Bassoon., Fri 23 May 2008, 10:31, archived)

Imagine all your sallary in these....

but then I guess it would be a "cellary"

(

Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:05, archived)

(Huw Edwards #yungbludisanonce, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:27, archived)

i know a song about that...

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:34, archived)

Hey! McCleod! Get off of my ewe!

Nothing to do with celery, but I've had that stuck in my head all morning :D

(Huw Edwards #yungbludisanonce, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:43, archived)

Celery

I'm not half the veg I used to be.

(

Ratsta, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:34, archived)

There's a

marrow hanging over me

(

Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:58, archived)

(

printmeister http://tinyurl.com/c8s8fd5 for titanic T's, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:05, archived)

I don't get this joke.

I've heard it LOADS of times, but I just DO NOT get it!!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:11, archived)

It's a joke?

Just sounds like a negligence towards welfare myself.

(

Jamie_W If your life had a face I would punch it., Fri 23 May 2008, 8:12, archived)

Nor do I

And it's a bee roast!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:27, archived)

There's one in the window.

(

LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:07, archived)

BEES WILL FUCK YOU UP.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:11, archived)

So will Right Handed Graphics tablets

When you are left handed

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:23, archived)

I HAD MY HANDS REMOVED AND SEWN ON TO THE STUMPS OF THE ARMS OF A WOMAN I KNEW WHO WAS BORN WITHOUT HANDS.

SHE HAD TO PAY ME SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR THEM AND EVERY DAY AFTER WORK SHE HAS TO STOP BY MY HOUSE AND JACK ME OFF. SHE HAD TO SIGN THE AGREEMENT BEFORE I GAVE HER MY HANDS SO SHE SIGNED WITH HER FEET AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO COURT BECAUSE SHE SAYS IT'S NOT HER SIGNATURE.

I THINK I MIGHT GET FUCKED OVER HERE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HER HANDWRITING IS DIFFERENT FROM HER FOOTWRITING. THOSE CRIPPLES ARE WILY ONES.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:38, archived)

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:13, archived)

NINJA WASP!

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:15, archived)

They all are, LOL!

/cheap shots at American white trash blog.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:17, archived)

this V V V

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:18, archived)

Britney Money

(

sancelle says something stinks in suburbia, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:00, archived)

THAT ^ ^ ^

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:25, archived)

Looks more like a tenner to me!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:32, archived)

Depends!

LOL!!!

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:36, archived)

i think

she bought those with her dollar

(

sancelle says something stinks in suburbia, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:39, archived)

wow they really are looking everwhere

(sockhead I promise I'll subscribe exactly a day after, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:58, archived)

SHE EVOLVED INTO A HUMMINGBIRD JUST LIKE NOSTRADARWIN PREDICTED

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:07, archived)

I'm surprised

this hasn't happened already

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:11, archived)

i think

someone posted one of these yesterday

(

Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:55, archived)

Yes.

All over my fucking life for the past year.

(

Jamie_W If your life had a face I would punch it., Fri 23 May 2008, 8:13, archived)

If she ever does show up, everyone will be all like--

'get out of here, you little attention whore!'

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:14, archived)

Yay, he's back from his holidays

Click for Mr Whippy with 2 Flakes size (120KB)

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:51, archived)

He said it was a scream, just like always.

*nicks his cone*

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:52, archived)

What? No rasperry sauce?

(

Rev. Cleo still alive, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:53, archived)

I KICKED THAT GUY IN THE BAG ONCE, HE DIDN'T EVEN FLINCH.

FUCKER'S GOT A HEAD LIKE A GIANT ALBINO GOURD BUT HE SURE AS HELL HAS STEEL BALLS ON HIM.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:55, archived)

You should try

punching the Mona Lisa in the tit, I hear she loves it

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:56, archived)

LIQUID FUCKING METAL.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:57, archived)

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:57, archived)

hehehe!

(

printmeister http://tinyurl.com/c8s8fd5 for titanic T's, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:12, archived)

superb shoppery mr toats

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:11, archived)

HE PAINTED IT. WITH HIS FOOT.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:14, archived)

YAY

at's funny

(

Ysol ab abl blap, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:20, archived)

arf!

i like

(

eclectech is older but no wiser, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:28, archived)

Mnyeh

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 23 May 2008, 5:02, archived)

Romans found that idea quite effective for their troops coinage.

*stays in boat*

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 5:08, archived)

i click

click and wait but is then where,? where, where;;;go home monkey this is doctor dyslexia's fabergé egg, you monkey

(

autofellatio fills the boards with pointless shit, Fri 23 May 2008, 6:49, archived)

Yes, does seem a little thin this eve...

In the regular course of events the southern hemisphere would in its turn
be subjected to a severe Glacial period, with the northern hemisphere
rendered warmer; and then the southern temperate forms would invade the
equatorial lowlands. The northern forms which had before been left on the
mountains would now descend and mingle with the southern forms. These
latter, when the warmth returned, would return to their former homes,
leaving some few species on the mountains, and carrying southward with
them some of the northern temperate forms which had descended from their
mountain fastnesses.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 6:59, archived)

THIS IS WANKTALK YOU HEMISPHIST.

SO THIS ONE TIME I WENT TO THE LOCAL DRIVE-THROUGH WITH MY FRIEND NIGEL AND HIS BROTHER PATRICK. PATRICK WAS DYING OF ANAL CANCER AND HE WANTED A CHICKEN SANDWICH BUT NIGEL AND I JUST WANTED MILKSHAKES. PATRICK GOT THE SPINS WHEN HE WAS IN A MOVING VEHICLE FROM HIS ASS-MEDICATION SO HE WAS LYING IN THE BACK SEAT. THE WOMAN WHO TOOK OUR ORDER ASKED IF WE WANTED FRIES AND WE ALL SAID "HELL NO! THE FRIES HERE TASTE LIKE SHIT!" AND SHE GOT MAD. I THINK SHE WAS THE SAME WOMAN WHO TOOK OUR MONEY WHILE WE WAITED FOR THE FOOD.

THE MILKSHAKES CAME BUT WE HAD TO WAIT FOR THE CHICKEN SANDWICH. PATRICK STARTED TO BITCH AT US TO LAY ON THE HORN BECAUSE HE WAS HUNGRY. WE DID AND THEN THE CARS BEHIND US STARTED BEEPING TOO BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT WE HAD GOT ALL OUR FOOD. THE WOMAN HANDED US THE SANDWICH AND RUDELY TOLD US TO LAY OFF THE HORN AND TO MOVE ON. BEFORE NIGEL GOT THE CAR IN GEAR PATRICK TOOK A BITE OF THE SANDWICH AND SAID "THIS SANDWICH TASTES LIKE SHIT! IT'S MOULDY! FUCK THIS!" SO NIGEL REACHED OUT AND KNOCKED ON THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH.

THE SAME ANGRY WOMAN CAME BACK AND SAID "I SAID MOVE!" AND PATRICK STARTED YELLING AT HER FROM THE BACK SEAT. SHE COULDN'T SEE HIM AND WAS BENDING HER HEAD OUT THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH TO LOOK AROUND TO SEE WHO WAS YELLING. FINALLY HE STUCK HIS FOOT OUT THE CAR WINDOW AND SAID "LOOK HERE YOU STUPID FUCK! I'M IN THE GODDAMN CAR!" SHE SLAMMED THE WINDOW SHUT AND YELLED "DON'T BE SO FUCKING RUDE!" BUT WE COULD BARELY HEAR HER THROUGH THE GLASS. NIGEL KNOCKED ON HER WINDOW AGAIN AND SAID "THE SANDWICH IS RANCID, WE WANT ANOTHER ONE." SHE SAID "OH NO, IT'S FINE AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE YOUR CAR, WE'RE CLOSED NOW." "NO FUCKING WAY!" YELLED PATRICK FROM THE BACK SEAT, SITTING UP A LITTLE. FAST-FOOD WOMAN SAID "YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE OR I'M CALLING THE MANAGER." WE ALL STARTED TO LAUGH.

SHE LEFT THE WINDOW AND THE MANAGER SHOWED UP AND WE RECOGNISED HIM FROM HIGH SCHOOL - HE'D DROPPED OUT TO BECOME A MODEL IN THE LAST YEAR. I GUESS HE DIDN'T MAKE IT SO HE BECAME THE MANAGER OF STICKY FRIES. HE ALSO LIKED WHAM! A LOT AND HAD HIGHLIGHTS IN HIS HAIR. HE YELLED AT US TO LEAVE OR HE WAS GOING TO CALL THE POLICE. "I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS ON YOU!" HE YELLED AND WE TRIED TO EXPLAIN ABOUT THE RANCID SANDWICH. HE SAID HE DIDN'T CARE AND THEN PATRICK CALLED THE COUNTER WOMAN A CUNT AND SHE MUST HAVE HEARD BECAUSE SHE RAN BACK INTO VIEW AND STARTED HOLLERING OUT THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH AT US, AND CALLED US A BUNCH OF LOW-LIFES.

"HAHA!" WE LAUGHED, "WE ARE LOW-LIFES! BUT AT LEAST WE DON'T WORK THE MIDNIGHT SHIFT AT STICKY FRIES AND LISTEN TO NON-STOP WHAM! TAPES WHILE WE MOP THE FLOOR AFTER CLOSING!" COUNTER WOMAN JUST STARED AT US IN DISBELIEF BECAUSE WE'D OBVIOUSLY HIT A BULLSEYE WITH THAT COMMENT. THEN PATRICK THREW THE CHICKEN SANDWICH OUT THE WINDOW OF THE CAR, THROUGH THE WINDOW OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH AND HIT THE WOMAN IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. SHE STARTED SCREAMING AGAIN AND NIGEL DROPPED THE CAR INTO GEAR AND WE PEELED OUT, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.

WE DROVE HOME AND MADE PATRICK A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH AND WOKE EVERYBODY UP LAUGHING ABOUT OUR NIGHT. PATRICK DIED ABOUT THREE WEEKS LATER BUT I DON'T THINK IT WAS THE RANCID CHICKEN.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:32, archived)

I have liked this post

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:39, archived)

MY ADRENALIN WAS AT LEVEL 9000 WHEN I TYPED IT.

AND I TYPED IT WITH MY COCK BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING AT A NAKED PICTURE OF DIXON.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:42, archived)

soft on

for the pinky shift?

(

Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 23 May 2008, 16:29, archived)

JESUS FUCK! ARE ALL OF YOU PEOPLE STUNNED OR SOMETHING? THIS IS VITAL LORE!

I WILL BUST SOME ASS WIDE OPEN HERE.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:40, archived)

CHICKEN SANDWICH OF DOOOOOM!

Hahaha!

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:49, archived)

BASED ON A TRUE STORY.

I ONLY MADE UP A FEW MINOR PARTS AND I CHANGED MY FRIEND'S NAME TO NIGEL BECAUSE HE GOT WEIRDED OUT WHEN HIS BROTHER DIED. PATRICK DID THROW THE SANDWICH AND HIT HER IN THE HEAD LIKE THAT, THOUGH, AND HE WAS SPRAWLED OUT IN THE BACK SEAT. HE HAD A GREAT ARM.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:51, archived)

Handy skill. If one has a lot of rancid sandwiches at hand that is.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:56, archived)

I BOUGHT A SACK OF AVOCADOES A FEW WEEKS AGO AND THEY WERE ALL STRINGY AND ROTTEN INSIDE.

THE SUPERMARKET WOULDN'T GIVE ME A REFUND SO I'VE BEEN STEALING STUFF FROM THEM EVER SINCE. SOME THINGS I JUST PALM OR POCKET, BUT I ALSO BUY PACKS OF VEGETABLES THAT ARE IN CARDBOARD CONTAINERS WITH SARAN WRAP OVER THEM, AND HAVE $1 MARKED ON THEM.

WHEN I GET HOME I EMPTY OUT THE VEGETABLES AND BRING THE CONTAINERS BACK TO THE STORE THE NEXT TIME AND FILL THEM HALFWAY UP WITH EXPENSIVE SHIT THEN THROW MUSHROOMS OR BRUSSEL SPROUTS OVERTOP. I HAVE ABOUT TEN TINY EXPENSIVE CONTAINERS OF NASAL SPRAY AND A WHOLE PILE OF WEIRD ESSENTIAL OILS FROM DOING THIS NOW.

I HATE BRUSSEL SPROUTS SO I END UP SWATTING THEM INTO THE 3-DOORS-DOWN NEIGHBOUR'S YARD WITH MY SQUASH RACQUET. I DON'T USE NASAL SPRAY EITHER, BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:03, archived)

Hahahaha

brilliant stories 'THE SANDWICH IS RANCID, WE WANT ANOTHER ONE' is going to be said the very next time someone gives me a sandwich :)

(

charlie brown doesn't have a dog but still enjoys shitbagging, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:01, archived)

YOU HAVE TO LOUDLY SING A LINE FROM A WHAM! SONG AFTERWARD OR PATRICK'S GHOST WILL APPEAR AND EAT YOUR SANDWICH.

IT'S HAPPENED.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:05, archived)

person: here is your sandwich

me: THE SANDWICH IS RANCID, WE WANT ANOTHER ONE
person: Oh... I'm sorry, try this one
me: "I'M YOUR MAN"
person: ???
Patricks ghost: hungry but a little more at peace

(

charlie brown doesn't have a dog but still enjoys shitbagging, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:17, archived)

I LIKE "WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO" MORE.

I USED TO HAVE THE 45 OF IT (YEAH, RECORDS, I'M OLD) AND I'D PLAY IT ON 33. SLOWED DOWN, WHAM! SOUNDS LIKE OLD BLACK MEN SINGING DEEP BASS, SO I'D PLAY IT FOR PEOPLE AND TELL THEM IT WAS THE ORIGINAL BY THE FOUR MOONBEAMS OR SOME SHIT AND WHAM! HAD JUST COVERED IT, BADLY. SOME STUPID PEOPLE BELIEVED ME, EVEN IF THEY LOOKED AT THE WRITING CREDIT FOR GEORGE MICHAEL AND THE GUY EVERYONE'S FORGOTTEN ABOUT. I'D TELL THEM THAT WHITE ARTISTS ALWAYS STOLE FROM BLACK MUSICIANS AND THEY'D BELIEVE ME BECAUSE THEY WERE STUPID.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:23, archived)

This is a truly beautiful story.

(

gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:43, archived)

I WROTE IT FOR YOU AND DIXON AND I WILL SING IT AT YOUR WEDDING.

FULL METAL FALSETTO.

(

postbear has metal knees, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:49, archived)

the hare's race is too fast paced for this ho-hum tortoise

inspired by sage francis

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:21, archived)

You might try a trade with the Grue for more batteries...

...waite...

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:24, archived)

fuck me... thats zork isn't it?

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:25, archived)

Yes.

/Neck-bearded geek humour blog

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_(monster)

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:26, archived)

i used to love the old text based adventure games :)

when i was about 10 my dad acciendtly deleted everything apart from dos off his ancient pc, so being a proto-geek borrowed a bunch of 5^1/4" discs of my mate's dad that were full of stuff like zork :)

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:31, archived)

I've got a bad opinion of many of them.

They often spent much more time and effort to
keep rude words from being used than they
did with the game logic. Rude vocab in some
was ten times the known usable list.

Fucking stupid shits! [/;-)

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:35, archived)

thats mad

especially considering smut like leisure suit larry wasn't long after those games

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:38, archived)

doesn't someone have a page of swears in 8bit computer games

and the reactions thereof

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:49, archived)

I'm pretty sure it's monkeon.

(

gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:02, archived)

fucking stupid grue

wait
"time passes"
wait
"time passes"
turn off torch
"YOU ARE EATEN BY A GRUE, TWAT"

bah!

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:45, archived)

*hit grue with eleven sword*

you do not have the eleven sword. that's not a thing. you meant to type elven didn't you? too late the grue got you now.
twat.

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:52, archived)

hahaha, fucking shitty adventure games

"You see a small gold key in a glass bottle"
:get key
"what key?"
:get key in glass bottle
"the bottle is closed"
:open bottle
"the bottle is protected by an invisible force"
:smash bottle
"the bottle is protected by an invisible force"
:fuck this
"You are eaten by a grue, twat"

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:55, archived)

If ever I need to a game within another thing I will use that exact sequence.

That is the fucking shitty way to do it indeed.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:08, archived)

\o/

some of them were jmust horriffic

had one that basically if you didn't know the exact sequence of directions to go, you were dead

that's it, the end

no logic, no skill, just a case of get it right or wrong, stupid load of crap

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:11, archived)

hitcherhikers guide one was like that

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:12, archived)

it's just lazy design to do shit like that

it makes me angry

I'll have to schedule running out into the street and burning something later

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:14, archived)

Discomeat's diary

4:16AM: b3ta about for a bit
5AM: start one man riot

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:17, archived)

5:13AM Ponder making cheeseburgers

5:23AM Decide to make cheeseburgers
5:43AM Remember that I was going to make cheeseburgers
6:03AM Remember that involves going into the kitchen
6:04AM Discover cheese absence
6:05AM Once stop crying Return to b3ta with a glass of pop

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:21, archived)

I envy you and your food.

i'm at the girlfriends waiting for her to finish her fucking translation work, she has only salad food. i'm a red blooded man! i'll die! i'll fucking die!

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:24, archived)

I no longer buy bulk lidl 8,000 frozen circles of rancid gut for £1

now I get quality birdys eyes 8 circles of frozen non rancid gut for £2+

:D

I have all the meats! ahh yeah!

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:26, archived)

Not enough nudity or violence!

(

Ttssattsr, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:29, archived)

better?

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:32, archived)

fuck yeah!

three frames of FUCKING ACTION!

*pukes*

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:47, archived)

they should let me direct movies

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:49, archived)

I want to make a movie

a total mindless insult to the intelligence plotless action movie

3 elements

dude, hot chick

and evil guy

and in that there's, apc chases with big rigs and exchanges of rockets, fleets of steath fighters, flying helicopters through bank lobbys, on fire, nuclear missiles and fucking people running about screaming in mayhem

should be fun :D

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:52, archived)

i call dibs on co-writer

everyone wearing armoured trenchcoats. even the post man and mcdonald's emlpoyees.

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:02, archived)

it needs a few mechanical robot nazi's too

hmm, guy in a trenchcoat who smokes a lot, he sounds cool

but is he good or evil?

HAHA ambiguous!

the movie is now deep :D

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:03, archived)

ooo pseudo philosophy

"humanity is... a dandelion, mr Kuhl-zoundink-neihm. we are weeds, we grow everywhere, have heads that disperse into the air when blown, taste great as a fizzy liquid when combined with burdock, we... i've got a bit lost here haven't i?

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:10, archived)

line copied and pasted for later use

I will try and get this in a script somewhere

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:12, archived)

=D good show

i keep meaning to actually get round to writing a damn script but i'm the most work shy person ever. the best i ever managed was adapting a scene from a Robert Rankin novel for the stage.

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:14, archived)

it has been asked of me "are you going to write a script or a story"

due to my.. er... obvious issues

but it's like real work

plus putting a coherent narrative even if it's a sequence of one load of cobblers after another is really hard work

and I'm a lazy twat, I'll probably get killed by a grue

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:16, archived)

Get the Grue to write it...

...waite...

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:21, archived)

that's all we need, grue's with pens

clogging up our ecosystem!

it'll end up in chaos, man, choas! cohas! caohs!

edit: and it just occured to me: grue's with tits

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:24, archived)

Rule 34 says Grue got ...

HIS ASS!

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:34, archived)

HIS GRUE!

nite nite, sleepy time

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:38, archived)

all of my friends expect me to end up a media darling famous for writing a book that everyone bought but doesn't understand

though over summer we should write a b-movie. do a scene each or summat. that way it'd have a wonderful disjointed feel

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:21, archived)

haha fuck, maybe, if I have time, I don't know if I will

could be worth a laugh, I guarrantee I won't be able to make 1 shit of sense

:D

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:23, archived)

fuckin' a thats what we want. one scene of gibberish then another of cheerful meloncholia

that would be fun

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:26, archived)

ok, I'm up for it, b-movie quality shit script

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:28, archived)

sexy :)

i've got to help my girlfriend with her translation stuff for a bit. we shall discuss this further tomorrow.

night b3ta

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:33, archived)

nite nite, time for sleeps

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:38, archived)

If a movie proves to be too large a go.

Drop me a/the story and I'll make a comic out of something for it.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:38, archived)

i like the way you think

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:40, archived)

I should have set this bird down as a blue rock thrush or passero
solitario, for I know these birds breed yearly on the Sacro Monte,
and no bird sings so sweetly as they do, but we are expressly told
that Caimi did not reach Varallo till the end of the year, and the
passeri solitarii have all migrated by the end of August.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:12, archived)

whats that?

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:15, archived)

Samuel Butler

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:18, archived)

"Brad, you really have to lay off the meth, nobody knows what the fuck you are talking about anymore"

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:15, archived)

A danger of observation and collecting of data is that you end up finding meta-situations;
perhaps you realize that in the end, all skateboarding is performance art, and then you realize
that all athletic endeavors are performance art, and then, eventually, you realize that performance
is one of the main human traits.... and so on, until finally you've encompassed all of existence
into a huge "meta-performance paradigm" and nobody knows what the fuck you're talking about.

In fact, while you're not being listened to anymore because your stuff doesn't appear to have relevance,
you occasionally pipe up with "I thought of that first!" when you see someone applying similar
thought trains to yours in a random forum or situation, and then you act like you "own" all this
and consider it "old hat" and then you're not just a irrelevant cloud-head, you're an asshole
irrelevant cloud-head with a persecution complex.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:31, archived)

and then you get eaten by a grue

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:38, archived)

And that's just the foreplay to the main event...

HIS ASS!

and cya.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 4:40, archived)

basically commando then?

(

Nathanial Hornblower, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:48, archived)

I'm drinking guiness and I love everyone

I like your pictures.

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:42, archived)

hooray!

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:42, archived)

money WILL look something not unlike this in the future...

small and perky like

(fatty_boomba did something really bad @, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:11, archived)

MEEOW!

smiley currency cat - woo!

(

Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:11, archived)

165k down to 110k. Cut another 50k off that.

Or they will be back to whining about size. 50kish for stills BTW.
And edit button, rather than delete is better. YMMV HTH ETC.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:13, archived)

hmm

i dont get whats wrong. photoshop tells me its 72k when i save it? the explorer tells me its 79k. is the pic just trying to act big on the internet?

(fatty_boomba did something really bad @, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:19, archived)

are you using the "save for the web" funtion?

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:21, archived)

80k is too big.

Set your JPG quality to 50% and you should get around 48k.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:21, archived)

use save for web

no offence here but how come you've got the talent to make this but don't know how to optimise.

_{seriously not an insult, just genuine suprise}

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:23, archived)

i blame broadband...

i've never had to make files of 100k smaller, so i've never used 'save for web'. but my bad, fixed now. and its fun to learn new things :)

(fatty_boomba did something really bad @, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:32, archived)

fair enough :)

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:38, archived)

I blame stupid windows that by default doesnt have a sane listing of files

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:48, archived)

nice attention to detail

*appreciates the CDC*

(

Sexy Picard 2000, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:15, archived)

haha

I know that cat from somewhere..
edit: haha! Cheezburgers...

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:15, archived)

it's fair to say, that if you hand this over the counter at mcdonalds

you can has cheezburger

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:43, archived)

The attention to detail makes it

haha

(

kingofpork is the king of pork, Fri 23 May 2008, 22:41, archived)

hahaha

this is superbly achieved. i zalutez use.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sat 24 May 2008, 1:49, archived)

*Sigh*

It's probably a sign of how immature I am, but I fell over laughing.

In other words, I lolled.

(TheWonderfulWombat It came to me in a dream., Mon 26 May 2008, 18:30, archived)

Not done any art in a while ...

... been too busy writing my short stories
again but was taken to actually put some more
work on this again tonight (Still a WIP, few
more sittings needed to finish it ... but i like
the way it's going)

100% Vector In Xara Xtreme 4 with vector brushes.

(Logovend is doing arts and farts!, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:16, archived)

wow, thats ace, and its a vector you say?

any chance of 1280x800?

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:17, archived)

SUPER BIGGERNESS!

4000 x 2000 88% Jpeg

(Logovend is doing arts and farts!, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:23, archived)

how big do you think my damn monitor is? :)

bloody hell up close its even more good

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:24, archived)

You have a scroll wheel on your mouse though ...

unless your a Mac(Donalds) user.

(Logovend is doing arts and farts!, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:28, archived)

holy mcjesusburger

that is fucking intense - woo yay & hooplah!

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Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:11, archived)

intense?

try this fucking large image that will probably crash your browser despite being a tiny file

:D

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discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:47, archived)

wow that was intense

"The image “http://veimages.gsfc.nasa.gov//1438/nightearth.gif” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors."

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Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:59, archived)

Wow

I really like this.. got alot of atmosphere, actiona bout to kick off... and he fly thing going on adds alot of qwuirkyness!

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:19, archived)

Welcome to the policestate, enjoy your stays* and teargas.

*plastic cuffs

Woo.

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:22, archived)

please drive carefully

because we're watching you. we're always watching you.

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:24, archived)

Good one

I'm thinking Chemical Bros. for some reason

Self portrait, last summer.

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raevloek the Mollusk, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:24, archived)

Yeah ...

Setting Sun - Coming On Strong Video
I remember that it was time when I had MTV on
chipped cable and loads of mushrooms that year.
That vid 'caught' my imagination.

And had a strange flashback type thing when I
was painting this, althought I just throw down
colours and see where it takes me. I started off
with the flurenant yellow grey and black and
this is that it developed into.

(Logovend is doing arts and farts!, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:27, archived)

Exactly.

One of the best videos ever.

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raevloek the Mollusk, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:33, archived)

saw them live at loch ness last year

star guitar, laser light show, mist sweeping over the fog, ohmyfuckingsweetchrist'scockthatsbeautiful

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:38, archived)

You are full of solar flair

If you aloow it to continue, the sun will die.. please expell your energy...

Kthanx

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:28, archived)

The Sun

will die anyway.

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raevloek the Mollusk, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:31, archived)

ARRRRGHHH

But not till im dead right? RIGHT?

*Panics like a child*

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:33, archived)

Depends

on how long you're planning to live.

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raevloek the Mollusk, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:34, archived)

Next tuesday would be fine..

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:35, archived)

Excellent work.

I'll look forward to the result.

as we are doing wips then I just want everyone to know I'm struggling like a bastard to get this finished.

Click for bigger (212KB)

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:38, archived)

are you doing her in painter?

she is lovely, though why is this not in a new thread with updates every half hour? THE PEOPLE EXPECT!

but seriously she is beautiful. i loved wolverine too.

also: wip SP

_{i know, i know, i'm a vain nacissist.}

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:42, archived)

aye I'm doing her in painter

following some new techniques from a DVD I have bought. I'm having issues working from underpainting to detail and keep losing stuff but I expect that's my lack of knowledge more than anything.

Hehe, you know my thoughts on wips in a new thread. I'm just not in the mood for being a cunt. My dad has upset me ( more than I thought he could )

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:45, archived)

That doesnt sound good..

Whats Wip by the way?

I really like this..

I think the progression of a single piece of art has as much value as the comic strips people post etc..

And I think this particular one has 1million times the worth than a 5 minute sketch from my self that i post occasionaly..

Stop being a silly begger...

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:49, archived)

Work In Progress

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:50, archived)

wip

is work in progress and they have great value both for giving tips and receiving help. However we have an old niggle about some people posting them in a new thread every 30 minutes. I find that more 'look at me' than 'look what I'm doing'

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:51, archived)

ouch sorry to hear that man.

painter looks amazing, i think its probably a bit out of my leauge but i'm really impressed at what it can do.

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:49, archived)

Where are you taking this?

If its possible to describe? Because this looks like the acness allready!

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:45, archived)

My plan is for

total photo realism in the manner of this lady www.faysartstudio.com/ and I am following her video tutorials on painter. The tutorials are excellent but it's not like a photoshop tutorial were you do this, do that to make the same as something else. It's just detailed descriptions of technique and I'm far from mastering some of them.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:48, archived)

man you just know that once you've mastered that someone just like one of us is going to accuse you of filtering or something :)

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:51, archived)

I don't care or mind.

because I know filters inside out and I know there is nothing will do that for you.
Besides considering that she charges a minimum of $8000 for a small portrait you think I'll care what b3ta thinks if I feel I get skilled enough to take commissions?

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:54, archived)

pffft... $8000? wow...

i should start me some learning :)

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:56, archived)

30"X40" full length pose

is $30k. She is considered one of the most accomplished digital artists in the world and is one of Corel's 'masters'. She can of course do it just the same with paint and canvas.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:00, archived)

i think once you reach that stage of ability medium can't be that important

i'm sure someone like that could do a portrait with sand and pritt-stick :) there's something not quite right with her eyes though, there's something missing

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:05, archived)

ah well.

other painter artists are available.
www.artofconway.com/index.php?page=gallery
www.androidjones.com/
blackeri.deviantart.com/

and it's images like this that make me persevere.

On that note it is bedtime.
nn.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:13, archived)

night

those are pretty

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:25, archived)

ah i see

hopefully yours will be less creepy than hers!

I dunno bout that whole thing, Photorealistic is imprssive, but i still like a bit of human interpritation, you know, either the personality of the subjkect coming though..or that of the artist, or that of the situation between the two?

Im shite at art, but its what i like to see..

what are your thoughts on that?

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:52, archived)

I'm ok with it up to a point

I just feel it's one of many styles and they all have a place.
I personally love abstract and wild colours ( even for portraits ) but it's just another skill I'm trying to learn. I figure that if you are at a point where you can paint something that people have to look at a few times to realise it's not a photo then everything else should come so much easier.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:58, archived)

Hello Zoot

the original 'why show work in progress, you gits?' pedant himself.

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LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 8:52, archived)

Attack of the SWAT fly

very nice *click*

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Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 23 May 2008, 3:05, archived)

fuck me!

that's amazing!

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bruised_blood has no bruises, Fri 23 May 2008, 9:19, archived)

As like most election nights, Im rather drunk.. doesnt matter what election night.. be it US primary, I will be drunk..watching democracy in work..

So this suddenly dawned on me.. Paddy Ashdown, National Hero.. Charles Kennedy was a legend, Menzies was acness (im aLabour member by the way) But Nick Clegg?

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:47, archived)

am!

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wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:48, archived)

And

so's my wife.

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wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:12, archived)

To answer the question... no.

*wikis*
*edits in link*
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Clegg

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:51, archived)

wiki says "religion: atheist"

I like that

quite a fair bit

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:54, archived)

Antitheist might be more useful.

Half measures never work. [/;-D

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:59, archived)

Jeremy Vine was the funnyest when that was revealed

Apparently most of the country fucking hate the idea of an athiest in power.. but cant be arsed to either vote, or go to church..

What a country we live in eh!

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:02, archived)

It seems to be a world-wide problem.

As the wise man said...

"No matter who you vote for, the government always gets in!"
www.neilinnes.org/N.htm#nomatter

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:09, archived)

oh shit keep your voice down

gronky might hear you and the arguement will go on all night :)

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:05, archived)

He already knows my position.

And I his.

But more to the point ... GRUNTPAIN AND I COULD FUCKING DO FUCKING THAT ON FUCKING ANYTHING.

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:12, archived)

hehe the long drawn out arguments are my favourite thing about the night shift

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:18, archived)

The freeform CopyPasta fights are my fav'.

As I can usually win those. HAHAHA!

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:20, archived)

i like them too ashally, we should have one later

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:35, archived)

Actually..

Looking at the pic on that wiki.. im quite proud of my drunken scetch from memory of Nick Clegg

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:04, archived)

Hehe!

It is good. I'm sure that's what the professionals actually do too.

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:15, archived)

wtf..

lib dems have a new leader?? (and by new i mean 7 months ago)

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thyrf as in turf, but not, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:52, archived)

haha

exact responce i was hoping for!

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:59, archived)

Who the fuck nick clegg IS

to be precise. Order properly.

It was so much better when Vince Cable was in charge :(

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hexachordal la la la la la, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:51, archived)

BIGGER!!

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Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Fri 23 May 2008, 1:52, archived)

awww

Come on! Im drunk! Its bellow 50K!

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:57, archived)

i like nick clegg a lot

the guys got some bloody good ideas. i mean fair enough he's just our Cameron but he's OURS. still....

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:57, archived)

I remember Jeremy Thorpe

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:58, archived)

_{i don't} :)

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:00, archived)

This country would be alot better if you Liberals got you act together..

And the Labour party would start to listen to the likes of moi if you did!

I fucking dispair at Labour when it comes to national politics, localy though its as it should be.. I dont understand where the disconect is.

Labour members are lefty, but some how, Labour Cabinet members are Thatcherite tosspots hell bent on the destruction of everybody except millionares...

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:01, archived)

i think/hope/pray next elections we see some of the other two's votes coming our way

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:04, archived)

It this crazt fettish for power

People vote for Labour to keep the tories out of power.. but whats the point when Labour think to keep the tories out, they need to act like the tories.

Im too young to remember John Smith, but I read recently in the Guardian, the parts of the Labour party I joined for, are John Smiths Labour party.. Minimum wage etc.. the parts of the party I hate, the "conservative" ones are ALL Brown and Blair..

What the fuck is going on?

Not that it matters at all what I think.. Where i live is 51% tory, so never any chance of my vote mattering, so whats the fucking point... exactly why 58% turn out in crewe tonight is seen as "high"

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:10, archived)

i'm from surrey mate

there's never been anyone other than a tory in power since the magna carta.

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:17, archived)

Tis a bitch

Because you cant even vote "tacticaly"

Because even if the 49% none tory vote grouped together, the 51% would still beat them...

This in my constituency.. one of the few northern ones that is a safe tory seat.. where the tory MP is a fucking bitch who seriusly doesnt give a shit, will lie to to us constantly.. ie.. " no I wont allow any more deveopment in this market town" and allows it.. but will oppose openly an ecological estate within a constituency neighbouring ours..

Also, when I asked her whether she had actualy read the "EU Constitution" she changed the subkject to "It doesnt matter, people deserve the right to vote".. So If some one who is PAYED and VOTED IN to read such a document, cant be arsed, what does she expect of the voting public?

ANNE MCINTOSH IS A TWAT!

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:25, archived)

Correctly illustrated/animated.

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:18, archived)

eyethankew

i'm very happy with the morphing, all hand done you know :) god i fucking hate labour

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:22, archived)

I think this country would be a lot better if the population was gassed and it was converted into a giant botanical garden.

But that's just me.

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:05, archived)

You are-- postbear.

AICMFP

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:23, archived)

I have no idea what that is, so no pounds for you.

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:25, archived)

www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=20482

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:55, archived)

I'm sure there's a market for this...

.... especially for people with fat relatives, or for long lost doppelganger siblings. Just cos.

(ComradePotato, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:28, archived)

hahahahahaha

brilliant

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KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:30, archived)

Mmmmm Bacony.

I'd eat people meat if it was sold in the shops, I wouldn't want to hunt one down and fillet one though.

(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:31, archived)

oo and it'll have a little recepticle

for storing all of the tasty warm juices that leak out

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discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:31, archived)

"So good, I put my nan on it"

(deft punk has allegedly stroked off more poles than hitler, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:33, archived)

hahaha

"after I tenderised her with my fists!"

(ComradePotato, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:36, archived)

he would fit in well here

groups.myspace.com/PunchTheElderly

(deft punk has allegedly stroked off more poles than hitler, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:48, archived)

Old ones are too tough to grill. Use it for BabbyQue!!

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:37, archived)

Wheres the drip tray?

Clicks none the less...

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Jorvic, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:51, archived)

very good

clicks

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Barry the Time Sprout one of your 5-a-day, Fri 23 May 2008, 7:41, archived)

Have a quick

doodle before bedtime.

Click for bigger (116KB)

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:25, archived)

Nicely Dundled.

_*:?J¬

(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:29, archived)

I want his jacket so badly.

so badly.

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hexachordal la la la la la, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:52, archived)

I agree it's a nice jacket

and just my style.

www.ekmpowershop4.com/ekmps/shops/westedcom/famous-filmwear-8-c.asp

I have a similar cut jacket. Borgo Panigale.

www.speedycom.co.uk/shop/pictures/thumbnails/t_17049.jpg

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:04, archived)

i own this jacket more or less

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 2:10, archived)

cor

just cor

i like that a lot a lot. i even clicked to prove it.

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Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Fri 23 May 2008, 1:58, archived)

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