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# Newsletter subjectline compo
What is YOUR suggestion for a good title this week?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:19, archived)
# mornin rob, ummm........
...
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:20, archived)
# HOW THE JEWS LEARNED TO LOVE HAM
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:20, archived)
# WELL RUB MY FURRY NIPPLES IT'S LINK CLICKING TIME!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:20, archived)
# Hello, GrandmaOfShoes
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:21, archived)
# Hello'th GronkPan
how're your steamy bits doing?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:22, archived)
# I have attached whistles
and now I am like a perpetual teapot.

Please tell me that you are of a similar state.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:23, archived)
# *high pitched steamy whistle noises*
apparently so
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:24, archived)
# excellent.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:27, archived)
# omnipresence is the masturbation of the masses
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:21, archived)
# We'll fill your fruitbasket with our fountain of man love
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:21, archived)
# LICKING YOUR LOVE PUMP SINCE 1984
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:21, archived)
# Here is the News
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:21, archived)
# happy now?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:22, archived)
# pardon?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:23, archived)
# Bouncing elephantiasis woman destroys central Portsmouth
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:24, archived)
# Owen Emerges Shattered From Oliver Reed.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# Robin Cock.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:31, archived)
# where now for man raised by puffins?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:36, archived)
# Bosnian Old Woman
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:42, archived)
# Fist headed man destroys church
(, Sat 14 Apr 2007, 16:16, archived)
# Exploded vicar preaches sermon from fishtank
(, Sun 15 Apr 2007, 20:55, archived)
# More entertaining that a split baby.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:21, archived)
# Why is it only singers with new albums or making a comeback that want to save the planet?

or

*gives up*

actually - I'm shit at this sort of thing
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:21, archived)
# "Craig Charles, up to his nuts in Sir Killalot."
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:22, archived)
# haha
he's snorted so much coke he's fucking robots!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:22, archived)
# He thought they said "Robot Whores"
See, it sounds like...oh, never mind...
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# This Morning With Richard Not Judy
circa 1999
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:44, archived)
# Heh heh
^^^This
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:23, archived)
# This!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:29, archived)
# Actually...
I don't suppose anyone fancies doing me a quick favour and photoshopping this?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:39, archived)
# Friday the 13th of Last Summer's Chainsaw Massacre
Part 2.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:22, archived)
# Just like Blue Peter, but without the drugs, porn and animal deaths.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:22, archived)
# what about phone scams?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:23, archived)
# Oh, we've got those
Ring this number for a list of them:
0900 72267787
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# 07050652199
call it to hear Rob singing his Fucker song.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:27, archived)
# yay
*phones*

eh, that's odd :¬S no list

*phones again*
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:29, archived)
# that dark haired acrobat geordie blue peter presenter
I saw him yesterday in Tring as I walked to work.

He looked at me suspiciously.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:26, archived)
# were you dressed as a spy?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:30, archived)
# Nope, I was wearing a green polo neck, suit and smiled at him.
I smile at everyone, I only realised it was him when he glowered at me.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:31, archived)
# howay man
woz he gannin nyem?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:32, archived)
# Was he whaty whatting?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:35, archived)
# it's geordie
for going home
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:45, archived)
# SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPS AND CHAINSAWS
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:22, archived)
# I love this.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:26, archived)
# And it loves you
but is too shy to tell you
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:28, archived)
# Me too.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:33, archived)
# Erotic Owl Disaster
Quivering Robot Shins
Recycled Biscuit Noses
Wobbly Fudge Train
Suspicious Bee Wednesday
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:22, archived)
# They're all watching you...
or...

Taste my milky hand

I don't know either...
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:23, archived)
# Uncle Bono, will you give us all Live Earth tickets?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:23, archived)
# Potloodslijper
(It's foreignese for 'pencil sharpener'.)
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:23, archived)
# Voted Nuts and Zoo newsletter of the year!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:23, archived)
# News just in :
Bastard steals cake from old, gay sailor - "CRUMBS FOUND ON POOP DECK"
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:24, archived)
# Did you find them wee ghosties?


Was that headline from the BBC news ticker?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:35, archived)
# WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF GINGER
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:24, archived)
# Newsletter! A.K.A how the internet ruined my life.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:24, archived)
# Flatley my dear, I don't riverdance
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# Oooh, that's an Alan Partridge line
*approves*
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# Trombones not included
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# *ahem*
Macarthur's park is melting through the dark, all the sweet green icing flowing down. Someone left the cake out in the rain.
I don't think that I can take it, cos it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again... oh no....


/be nice to see you try and fit that lot on the title at least
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# still listening to it
it's like musical crack.
You know its shit, and bad for you, but you can't help it.

AND it makes you dribble and talk nonsense
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:27, archived)
# ha ha ha, glad I'm not the only one!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:31, archived)
# Hahahaha!
Best worst song ever!


Edit: Now look what you've made me do, I'm listening to the damn thing now.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:27, archived)
#
Jurassic Park is frightning in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone shut the fence off in the rain
I admit it's kinda eerie
But this proves my chaos theory
And I don't think I'll be coming back again
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:30, archived)
# "Cos they sure don't act like Barney"
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:34, archived)
# "Like a dog with no legs swimming through whale shit"
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# No word of a lie,
but there was an article in new scientist last year about researchers trying to find out about whale health. Apparently, the best way to find this out wuithout cutting them up, is to study their scat.

How do you find and collect Whale Scat? Why you train a rottweiler to act as a whale scat sniffer, give it a life jacket, and tether it to the prow of your boat, and follow its noise.

Apprently, whale shit really stinks, and if you get it on your clothes, the smell aint ever coming off.

www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=mg19225831.900
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:35, archived)
# Beans Beans, good for the heart
the more you eat, the higher the risk of getting aids
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# Ha ha ha
Definitely this.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:54, archived)
# 'Talking cows? That's just Bullocks'
period --- .
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# More tidbits than your mum's gaper
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:25, archived)
# haha
Marvelous.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:27, archived)
# So, you can say 'mum's gaper'...
But the simple, innocent word 'titbits' is too exciting for you?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:04, archived)
# nah
he's just being grammatically correct.

(titbit isn't a word)
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 16:34, archived)
# "Oily nun insertion"
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:26, archived)
# "James Hewitt and Me" by Henry Windsor
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:26, archived)
# African Children, the next big thing in fashion!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:26, archived)
# visual
fixation for a fucked up generation.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:26, archived)
# B3ta : Proudly Touching Your Children Since 1980.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:26, archived)
# Monkeys testicles, best boiled or fried? Give us your views.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:27, archived)
# YOU COULD BE WANKING OFF A NINJA RIGHT NOW AND NOT EVEN KNOW
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:27, archived)
# Fuck me, that's so perfect it makes me want to rub it on my bum and wear it as a hat.
In public
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:28, archived)
# o_0
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:35, archived)
# ?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:40, archived)
# hahahahahahah
This wins my Shiny Red Badge of the Day!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:34, archived)
# Otters! See them in all their brazen glory!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:28, archived)
# Suspiciously Australian
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:28, archived)
# If You Can't Live Without Me Then Why Arn't You Dead?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:28, archived)
# Jeremy Clarkson Massaging Warm Marmite Into His Pale, Chapped Buttocks
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:28, archived)
# That's not a title
That's a USENET group
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:34, archived)
#
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:36, archived)
# I fucking love that
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:38, archived)
# i didn't think it was worth a third repost though.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:47, archived)
# A bolus of spuming love juice
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:29, archived)
# Flick my nipples and call me betsy
...go on
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:29, archived)
# "NO MORE CONSPIRACY THEORY STUFF ON /LINKS PLEASE"
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:29, archived)
# I hate the way the word conspiracy gets used.
It makes things sound so glamourous.

It's a conspiracy if the local newsagents get together and jack their prices up. It's a conspiracy if you make some friends in the office and ask them to help you out with a promotion.

It's a valid word that shouldn't imply paranoia.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:41, archived)
# Save the Cheerleader, Save her Jugs
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:30, archived)
# MADE FROM LOVE, WITH LOVE
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:30, archived)
# Not half as good as a spanking
mmm...
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:32, archived)
# OH FUCK, ANOTHER SHITTY NEWSLETTER FROM THOSE CUNTS AT B3TA
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:30, archived)
# Shit kebab with excema
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:31, archived)
# mmmm....
flakey
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:32, archived)
# "MY HOUSE HAS BEEN RAPED"?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:31, archived)
# So that is what Sky News looks like
Quite the sculpted face~
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:36, archived)
# Auto-giraffe headspack indident report.


And that's the best suggestion you'll ever get.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:31, archived)
# MYRA HINDLEY FETISHISTS CLUB NEWSLETTER
*now with added anal seepage!*
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:32, archived)
# Thats a good read that one
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:37, archived)
# i have a suggestion
how about we abolish /talk
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:33, archived)
# Ooof!
But they might come here instead.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:36, archived)
# Let them try!
*barricades doors and windows*

*gets shotgun and ammunition*

*waits*
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:39, archived)
# we make sure just before /talk is abolished
we flash bright lights at them via the monitor
rendering them blind and unable to use a computer ever again
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:40, archived)
# I got out of the gutter... for THIS?"
Oh, I don't fucking know. What are we, your title suggesting bitches?

Oh, hang on...
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:33, archived)
# For all your fashion slax needs
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:33, archived)
# Scatalogical Autobot Fiasco
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:34, archived)
# If we run out of seals... can we club pandas?
how's that?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:34, archived)
# If she tells you her age and uses a fraction. She’s too young.
New girl started this week. Told us she was 17 1/2. Ohh how cute.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:34, archived)
# Can I have her?

Please?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:37, archived)
# She yours if you shout surprise sex first.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:39, archived)
# WINNER!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:29, archived)
# I'm almost as made as I will be looking at the girl in the office
knowing full well its all thanks to her.
:))))))))))))

thankyou
(, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 21:02, archived)
# I do it too
and I'm 34 1/2

Just a big kid at heart
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 18:11, archived)
#
I'm (7*10)/2 + 1.9
that always gets me the ladiez.
(, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 1:23, archived)
# Fighting an angry Baboon for a free lunch.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:36, archived)
# The Bewildering Adventures of Captain Fishrape and Incontinent Hedgehog Boy
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:37, archived)
# Issue #17
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:41, archived)
# Draw this Walrus Man
I would like to see it
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:43, archived)
# 101 Alternative Uses for Margarine
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:37, archived)
# Baz Luhrmann's Secret Armpit Vagina
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:39, archived)
# Oooh, that's a horny image!
*bagpipes*
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:41, archived)
# Tying bennies to trees since 1874
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:42, archived)
# Ceci n'est pas une pipe.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:42, archived)
# Yoghurt: Making you shit since 2002!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 13:43, archived)
# it should be
"house rapers of the world unite, it's clicky clicky time!"
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:02, archived)
# You've got what you
want now fuck off!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:06, archived)
# i went to Iran and all i got was the crappy newsletter
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:06, archived)
# your stinking clit in the wotld of web
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:09, archived)
# jump in my pants it's party time
NNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:14, archived)
# ***NORTON ANTIVIRAL**** This newsletter has been automatically deleted
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:15, archived)
# COMING SOON TO A PEADOPHILE IN YOUR AREA
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:20, archived)
# The ASBO to your Inner Chav.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 14:22, archived)
# It's like sex for your eyes...
Only less messy.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 15:10, archived)
# Let our shag-planet caress your drive-thru herpes
said the boy
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 16:17, archived)
# ONE UP THE BUM NO HARM DONE
as an attempt to broaden the gay fanbase. what say you bobby?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 16:27, archived)
# Blatently 3 twats arguing
or are we not doing acronyms?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 16:30, archived)
# IT'S LIKE A PARTY IN YOUR MOUTH AND EVERYONE'S WANKING.
Shit I know.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 16:56, archived)
# IT'S ONLY NECROPHILIA IF THEY WERE DEAD WHEN YOU FOUND THEM.
Hopefully that one was a bit better.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 17:03, archived)
# YOU DEPRAVED PEOPLE READ THIS FILTH?
concise!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 20:40, archived)
# Why don't YOU spunk on US for a change?
webdongs
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 19:27, archived)
# SEE YOU LATER MASTURBATOR - IN A WHILE PAEDOPHILE
(, Fri 13 Apr 2007, 19:43, archived)
# MORE SHITE THAN A BUMS NUTSACK
works fir me ;)
(, Sat 14 Apr 2007, 0:46, archived)
# Clogging Ted Stevens' tubes
(, Sat 14 Apr 2007, 3:49, archived)
# Draw a line...
You'll find us 10km on the other side, fucking your nana
(, Sat 14 Apr 2007, 3:55, archived)
# A Simple Guide to Brutal Rape.
(, Sat 14 Apr 2007, 14:48, archived)
# WE BLAME THE BLACKS.
(, Sun 15 Apr 2007, 8:10, archived)
# Biff
something about cummy socks... it's too hot to come up with myself.
(, Sun 15 Apr 2007, 15:01, archived)
# CUNT MY JEWTOES! IT'S HITLER AND HE'S NOT HAPPY!
Or maybe,

SHITLER! IT'S THE JEWS AND THEY'RE NOT HAPPY!
(, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 6:59, archived)
# "Beat a beet Abby, ta". Say it aloud ten times fast!
try it.
(, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 12:52, archived)
# Chuck your dildo, have a sandwich
(, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 20:54, archived)
# THE WORLD'S GREATEST MILK
(, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 10:47, archived)
# Jesus is
in our hearts... and our steamy wank-tissues
(, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 17:11, archived)
# Turning fruits into vegetables since (insert date)
Enlarge your vagina.
HTML for the blind
Want to see some puppies?
Wholesome Christian fun for boys of good British Stock
(, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 22:55, archived)
# "The eight farmers posed discreetly with farm implements"
Direct quote from one of the funniest stories ever on BBC.com:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4121409.stm
(, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 23:45, archived)
# whistles
Its only rape if they scream more than once.

edit: bored bored bored, have some more brain leakage

"Because a pickaxe to the spleen often offends"

"Fisting Grannies can seriously tarnish your soul"

"Free in this issue!! a sick eating monkey"

"The decline and fall of Western Civilization part IV - Gorblimey trousers"

"Excuse me Bishop, but your marmoset has just eloped with my shoes"




relurks.
(, Wed 18 Apr 2007, 12:12, archived)
# It reads the newsletter with its face
or else it gets the hose again.
(, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:59, archived)