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I don't care what you are doing tonight.
Please do not tell me.
Instead, tell me your Basingstoke related problems.
Or anecdotes.
FFSLMAOBRB.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

Did the Liveprool Street thing happen?

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

yes, they built it

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

Woah

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Michael Jackson
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

oh frank

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

seriously, I heard he's dead

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

pics or gtfo

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

I heard he broke an orphan's arm with his wing

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

HOLY SHIT!!! When Was This??
Seriously i was under a rock for the past 24 hours...
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

srsly? getthafuckouttahere!

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

Old pin head was so good at the 400m :(
Who'll work for the BBC athletics broadcasts now?

/lolarious misunderstanding.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

FUCK OFF.
THIS IS YOU YOU PRICK HOLE
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

YOU FAT CUNT

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

I AM REALLY FUCKING PLEASED WITH THAT FLASH THING
YOU TOTAL PISS HOOK
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

I'm going to delete it now because I fucking hate you

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

also, this
www.gilgamesh.zen.co.uk/bm/

also, you fat cunt
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

why is there no sound?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

because baldmonkey is a fat cunt

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

I'm fucking stealthy,

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

Ha ha ha!!!

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

Needs more yakkerty sax

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

yeah yeah yeah....

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(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

Too black.

:)
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

Did MJ have a vagina neck?

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

i wondered the same

(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:17, archived)

Basingstoke lacks SOUL, MAAAAAN!

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

doo do doo doo
do doo doo
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

I don't know what
FFSLMAOBRB means.

Actually yes I do.

I could have just deleted what I've written and written something else but I can't be bothered now.

Love you.

xxx
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

I do not know anyone who lives in Basingstoke

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

Isn't Sneaky Steve from those parts?
Though I'm not sure how I know that.
(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

I have no idea

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

i used to carry out the water treatment on a cooling tower once a week in basingstoke, also a building in farnborough, i used to be able to claim digs money
i never went in digs, i fished over night at yately north lake and the firm paid, great times
(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

ive heard this one.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

you may well have, but i'm sure others haven't
it involves both fishing and aircon, it is a wonderful use of the forum
(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

if i were mod i'd delete all your posts and replace them with vin diesel quotes.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

i'm sure gonz will let you be a mod on his forum, only i don't have an account there

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

funny that innit.
it's almost like someone asked someone else to swing the ban hammer
:)
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:17, archived)

I used to live in a house in farnborough not basingstoke
I might have seen your bivvy and never realised
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

if you went to the north lake you may have, i used to work in the shopping center there

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

Working there and the boss making me find my own way back
at 11pm. When he'd promised me a lift.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

i wouldnt want my boss knowing where i lived.
he's a creepy cunt.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

He was alright
And used to drop us to our door when we were working the late shifts.

Not creepy in the slightest, and always being cheerful. Gave me brilliant references, even when I'd had other jobs.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

Braisingsteak?
well nothing really, part from there's nothing that i want there
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

I fly home next Thursday, hurray.
I have to figure out someway to pack my bike up neatly.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

1. Deflate Tyres
2. Remove saddle and handle bars
3. Drink wine
4. Remove wheels
5. Drink more wine
6. Remove mudguards
7. Finish off the bottle
8. SMASH THE FUGGAH UP, YE CUNT, YE... *hic*
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

Apparently I only have to take the pedals off it, deflate the tyres, and turn the handle bar sideways.
I'll probably tape it up aswell.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:21, archived)

Sell yuor bike here and buy a shiny new one when you get home.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:17, archived)

Nah, it's booked in now, and I'll get fuck all for it.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)

Hi Folks
What are you doing tonight?
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

wearing a toddlers outfit outside liverpool street station at 6pm

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

Oh Tyronne!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

any excuse to wear nappies is fair game in my book

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

pfft!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

Curing cancer

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

r tt
c b
c t
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

I'll cut your banter
from behind
(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

this sounds sexy.
I accept your offer.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

Nice one
*pulls on banter cutting pants*
(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

GET IN!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

I'm assuming it's a similar process to curing bacon

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

hahaha
Mmmmmmmm Bacony Cancer
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

only one step away from swine flu

(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

mmmmmmmmmm swine flu

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

Yep, soak it brine
with some chopped onion and black peppercorns.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

Job hunting.
They'll think I'm right keen when they notice my application was sent on friday night.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

Keen as Kleenex

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

Is that a real saying?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

No i justg made it up
especially for you
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

I don't like it.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

what do you want me to do?
I shall continue to make up random sayings just to annoy you now
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

try harder.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

I can't be bothered right now
I shall think of more save them all up and dump them all on you in one day
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

you can dump on me any time you like.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

You're vile as a mile

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

A mile isn't vile though.
It's just an arbitrary unit of distance.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

Stop being Mr Pedantic Pterodactyl

I just decided to jump right in and make one up for you. I can't confirm or deny if the winged dinosaur was known particularly for pedanticism.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

I had yet another rejection letter for a job I applied for
It is getting rather like groundhog day. Get up, open rejection letters, search for jobs, send off c.v., go to interview, repeat ad infinitum.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

And that's just when the job exists.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

I have had a couple of really saddening interviews where
it has been quite aparrent that the job has already gone to someone else.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

I've applied for some post grad courses (which I'll more than likely get on)
and one job so far. The only reply from those is the people at the job asking me for details on when I was a non UK resident (even though I've never not been one, so I obviously ticked the wrong box :( )
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

I recall having a job interview in February
and being offered the job in July. That was back in 2004.
(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

You should be happy they think enough of you to send a rejection letter

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)

this.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

Hopefully my brother is coming round and I'm going to cook him dinner :)

(

SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

~~dinner~~
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

o c
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

Brother cocking piss

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

that's cause we're awesome broadsword

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

You knows it

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

what will you be cooking

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

Something chickeny

(

SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

I was all pleased with myself earlier
went out & bought all the ingredients for this chicken & asparagus pasta thing that I've never cooked before. Got home & realised I forgot the chicken.
(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

This is why I always have some quorn chicken in the freezer,
it's so handy for emergencies
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

You chuck it at the hubby to wake him up so he can go & buy some proper meat?

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

how did you know?

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

A chicken?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

o c
+after
(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

I think I'm going to see Seabound and Revolution by Night
Just got to find out if our tickets are at the door.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

me and the lads will do some cooking and I've got 100m of tinfoil so we'll probably turn ourselves into knights of the round table.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

This sounds like a plan
can I join in and be the maiden in distress
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

which dress?
That dress?
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

To be honest you'd love to be recused by us, it's usually like a hunk's union meeting

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

Cor!
*gets on coach*
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

There will be facebook photos for you to have a little DG & Co fanny flap too

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

YAY!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

I also expect the maiden outfit in return :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

hahaha ok

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

Stopping in and drinking beer.
I've an option go out but I'm knackered.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

I am doing fuck all today
and I have a bottle of vodka with my name on it.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

Tyronne Brand Vodka?
I must admit I haven't seen that one.

Unless you're referring to your middle name of Vladmir, that is.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

well not actually with my name on it but it shall be drunk
ohhh yes
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

It'll just be michael jackson on loop wherever you go anyway

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

I'm going to make a caesar salad.
And probably drink some beer.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

what exactly goes into a caesar salad, I've never had one.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

Lion and slave meat and a bit of vomiting on young boys, or was that the Greeks?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

Lettuce, croutons & chopped up bits of Roman leader

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

Mine's going to have lettuce and spinach, chicken, bacon, breadcrumbs.
The dressing will be something like creme fraiche, parmesan, raw garlic and lemon
edit: and lions and Roman leaders
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

Bit of writing, bit of design work, bit of music, whole lot of drink.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

It seems everyone is on the lash tonight

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

good innit

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

I should do this too
I have no alcohol though
I shall despatch Mr Sp@m to the shop
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

having a drink or two and finishing crochetting a baby poncho.
rock and fucking roll.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

Ohh you'll have to send me the pattern for the poncho
one of my neighbours has just declared she'll shitting a baby out in September. I am well pleased for her she's lovely.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

its just three squares sewn together in a v shape
then the same for the back. dead easy
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

wearing a light gray armband in memory of the great loss to music
if anyone asks why it isn't black, I'll explain its just faded in the wash
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

OH MEHITABEL!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

just fed up with the over-reaction
I mean we never get prolonged media coverage of

popular star seen as best in world still clinging on to life at 85.

'he's ruined it for the rest of us say equally worthy pop stars'
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

Off to meet a b3tan and have a beer or two.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)

haha you bashing?
gutted.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

oh :(

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

What time can we expect you?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)

8ish

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

Going to bed soon.
Nearly too late for spider to be be awake.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

IDK
bit of colouring, coursework to finish in if i can be bothered with the crap
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

Three rocks of crack and a Harvey Wallbanger.

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

LOL LOL LOL oiweruhf
ewer
]
dqwitrhwoeihqwbd89u23p9r482i3fn u687

SDVFIOUSEHFqiwurqw9ihroieuqjhckksudgfsdhfjh]]f]

s
fg
sare
g
rd

h
u

o
4r6e
uw4s5a
ehy
rzjm
ksty
durtzafds
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)

Hello SickRik
How are you today SickRik?
(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

BROADSWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
i just took you off ignore - i don't even know why i had you on ignore

you've never actually offended me
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

That's good news, SickRik

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

You fucking purple failget

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

Spastic pattings in the highest order...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

you fucking smelly horseturd
get out of my FUCKING SHED
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

You have a shed especially for fucking.
You dob your cock into the wooden structures various holes and fuck away until the staining has all but been sucked up and you've stubbed your lonely toes on a lawnmower.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

I knew it would happen eventually.
A post from SickRik which doesn't boast of his conquests.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

give it time

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

*decyphers*
"OMG I HAD SEX WITH A LADY, IT WAS GOOD"
(

weaver., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

Oh WOW
....engrish
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

FACE ROLL
RET5YUY6TR54356U87YUH6TR5
(

SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

This is better than any of the MJ threads.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

Your turn!

(

SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

I won't try that
We'll be here for hours
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

Harsh bullying.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

You'll drown an entire island nation with your face's influence on tidal patterns.
So best not.
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

I facerolled and opened up the racingpost website.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

cvbcsd;d;lfz;lf;dfkldlfs;dlfkdlfdkfdiiiiiiffffffffffficouldturnbacktimesfgdfgh

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)

IT'S A THREAD
MENTIONING FACES

AND YOU'VE POSTED IN IT.

WHERE ARE THE JOKES ABOUT ME?

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DG :(
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)

THIS PLACE ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU, Y'KNOW

(

SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

too obvious.
humour is about subtlety sometimes.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:24, archived)

thanks for chering that with us

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:24, archived)

That's ok. Someone had to share for once and I know you have a hard time with sharing, the key word in family bucket is FAMILY!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

ouch ouch ouch
it stings

edit: whats your gamertag btw?
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

'Jet Jacuzzi' dude :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

fucking hell :)

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

KEYBOARD PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH
loku
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:21, archived)

That's Numberwang

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)

I DON'T GET IT

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)

Can we talk about something else?
Who thinks Baldmonkey is a puff?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

Not me

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

what, the same posts over and over again?
swap jackson for football and now you know how some of us feel when you go on about that all the bloody time.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

I've developed a set response for those who are taking it all too seriously:
www.b3ta.com/talk/6253485
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

He told me to suck his balls.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Oh Baldmonkey..
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

wally woofter that one

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

I'm told he once questioned his own heterosexuality.
Also: if N*** from T******* Doncaster is reading this, ANSWER THE PHONE YOU FOOT-DRAGGING SLUGGARD.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

You could make a perfect statue of him only using goods from the delicatessen isle at Waitrose

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

*Applause*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

Cocktail sausage fingers and scotch egg eyes

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

proof
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

OHH BALDRAPE!
:((((((
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

hehe :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

:)

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

When he plays soggy biscuit
He plays to lose
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Seeing as we're posting links
You can count on The Onion to make you wince

SFW

Also: news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Showbiz-News/Michael-Jackson-Dies-Of-Heart-Attack-After-Being-Rushed-To-UCLA-Hospital-In-Los-Angeles/Article/200906415319936?lpos=Showbiz_News_Carousel_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15319936_Michael_Jackson_Dies_Of_Heart_Attack_After_Being_Rushed_To_UCLA_Hospital_In_Los_Angeles
Do you reckon he offed him?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

HUFFERWEEB!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

that's sound fat people make when they laugh into a carton of cream

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

You make me laugh so much, I do poopies.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

are they into your hand? I hope to
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

You hope to?
Your aspirations are in dire need of re-evaluation.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

DOOONT
That's the sound of a bottle bouncing off your head ;)
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

empty bottle of course
no point wasting good booze.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

No.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

The paramedic said he turned white as a sheet,
and then 15 years later died of a heart attack
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Oh god

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

who killed jackson?
7 or 8 suspects wanted by police

other age groups are being considered.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

i hope you're proud of yourself Rob
www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/michael-jackson/5650027/Mass-Moonwalk-flashmob-tribute-to-Michael-Jackson-planned.html
(

dr_fonz, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

this is it, we're in the big leagues now!

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

A mass remake of the Thriller video would be good.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

I'm not even Rob.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

That's what you think.

(

dr_fonz, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

WOO.
In other news, every fucker else in my office has gone home. Should I follow suit?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

YES

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

Rightio then

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

Go through all their drawers and look for booze.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

no, you still have the toilets to clean

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

Fuck em twinkle princess, skip out the office and wab your boobies at people

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

He's dead?
I thought he was looking off colour
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

POSSIBLY RACIST

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

The first ever mixed race man to be born to completely black parents

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

its not a bad way to be remembered
aside from the alleged kiddy fiddling.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Alleged kiddies?
I don't think anyone disputed their age.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

not a bad way to be remembered?
what, by a bunch of thousands of people missing the point of a joke?
(

dr_fonz, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

pretty much
it`ll no doubt get on the telly
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

hands up everyone who wants to touch my cock
edit! fixed newsletter linky

www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue384/
(

rob, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

*hands up*
*touches your cockerel*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

He has mighty talons

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

That new colour illusion is Colourblindist :'(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

are you a rainbowspaz, dg?
say it aint so!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

i do, but I'm not having people put their hands up me for it.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

*puts hands on the ground*
OH NOES MY STAR IS VULNERABLLEEEE
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

Last week's newsletter! GET IN

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

purple link

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

+ is the name of my contorted cliterarti

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

And she's here to save the princess bellda

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

*splorf*
you cunt! i've told you before. not when i'm drinking tea
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

hehe sorry :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

did you see my pic down there?
*points*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

HEHEHEHHEHHEEE :D
I'm super
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

you gotta cape an' everyfing

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

I'm doing flappy sparrow arms as we speak

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Isnt that last weeks?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

It's last wee.......
Is the Mass Moonwalk actually going ahead?

Edit Oh, a taxi driver man on Twitter reckons the police are telling people not to go.
(

Jobe, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

Are they going to arrest people for walking backwards?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

Maybe DG. Just maybe.
Who knows, what with this crazy world we live in...

I wish I could moonwalk.
(

Jobe, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

I can moonwalk.
The trick is to move your flat foot, not the one on the ball of your foot.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

hehehe.. 'ball'

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

I'm going to have to practice.
I'm not surprised you can do it, what with you being all cool and everything.
(

Jobe, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

*punches jukebox*
Ayyyy! *jukebox explodes*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

I'm waiting for a train to stansted
and just filling time.

QUICK! EVERYONE! MASS MOONWALK WITH SUITCASES!
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

Hands up everyone?
*gets busy*
(

thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

Have we done the Michael Jackson, Keira Knightly and Robbie Coltraine joke yet?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

How do they smell?

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

to get to the other side!

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

And for my third wish I asked for an orange for a head

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

This sounds good.
I'd like to hear it.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

Oh, I don't know one.
I was just assuming as it's /talk we'd have finally gone through every possible joke. One must surely involve those three.
I'd like to hear it too.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

If only we had an internet hero to come up with one...

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

.....you called?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

I called someone but it wasn't you.
Although I'll retract this comment if you come up with something worthy.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Ah sorry, I thought you called for an Internet Superspastic
:S
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

i2.photobucket.com/albums/y33/rhcpaul/DGinternetsuperspastic.jpg
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

Somebody with flushed cheeks will no doubt be preparing a cutting remark about how I repeat myself.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

Orange you glad I didn't say "Princess Di Queen of Hearts"

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

I've bought the Xbox...
I'd be scared if I were you
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

I think I could beat you and JMG at Call Of Duty 4.
GMoS Has played with me before, he is my witness.

EPIC XBOXINESS!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

You both don't answer because you've done a little plopsie whoops in your panties

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

I'm back from cleaning up the plopsie whoops...
I don't play COD4... I will however destroy you at Street Fighter 4
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

I'm terrible at the game
I think a chimp whose eating fuit could whoop me
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

we both win!
HOORAY!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Michael Jackson, John Peel and Ken Bigley go into a bar...

(

Druid, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

A Down's Syndrome boy walks into a bar
the barman says "Why the mong face?"
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

Blowing Bubbles in remberance
The King is Dead Long Live Leon Kompowsky
(Rotten ICE Ninjurker, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

Yep.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Please come up with something good and original about MJ.
I can't do it, so I'm not making any jokes.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Oh dear. I've just noticed a grammatical error on one of tesco's products.
Do I tell them and get a cash prize?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Nothing is original
When you mention the Simpson's NOTHING is original,
and I managed to think of this all by myself :P
(Rotten ICE Ninjurker, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

Even if you did, if you read my post you'll notice that "original" wasn't my only criteria.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

Criterion.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

This is no time to talk about your favourite Transformer.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

wasn't my only criteria.
Ouch,
and if you cant think of anything nice to say
(Rotten ICE Ninjurker, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

JMG.
How's the internet.
Who's already angry with their JMG input today?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

I haven't had enough input from JMG
personally.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Oh thank goodness you're all right !
With all these culture icons popping their clogs, I thought you might be in a bit of trouble.

I'm very sorry for your loss, I knew you were very close with them.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Somebody fell out with me last night on here.
I remained excellent and am still very much a figurehead of pop culture.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

hubare has been accusing me of getting upset at him online.
I know you and he are pretty close.
What should I do?
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

oh dear
I agreed with you and you're still arguing...
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

Were they slightly on the'heavy' side?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

Not angry at JMG
Angry at work.

But if I kick off at them I'll probably make a twat of myself. So need to calm down and do the whole arrange a meeting with the regional manager shit.
(

AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

This is for the best.
*Firm handshakes*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

Get Fight Night Round 4, JMG, so I can smash your fucking face in. Online.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

I may do.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

Is it better than the previous incarnations?

(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

Legacy mode is well good yer,

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

i heard you killed michael jackson

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

I thought we'd already blamed it on the boogie?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

I am angry as IT firms will not give me a job as I have not been 100% in IT all my life...

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

I think I know the result of my degree.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Pass?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

Either that or epic fail, I've narrowed it down to those (until today there was the chance of failing very slightly).

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

so you've narrowed down the result of your degree to either a pass or a fail?
what was the degree in, stating the obvious?
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

Well I'm pretty sure with the information I've got that I've passed with a good grade.
There is a chance that I haven't but I think that's unlikely but I don't find out for sure until Wednesday :(
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

I got 2.2: Drinkers degree

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

A third is a drinkers.
a 2:2's just a 2:2
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

You got a 2:2 then?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

I don't know what I've got until the 3rd
I might be a 2:1.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

2:1's are for heroes.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

Internet heroes?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

A desmond is a drinker's
A third is a "Gentleman's"
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

what's a simple pass?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

An ordinary, apparently

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

One mong kicking a football at another mong

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

45 Degrees Spastic

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

i needed /talk to be good today, jammers.
i'm stuck at my computer all day, so i needed reliable distraction.

i feel let down :(

but on the plus side, i won a competition!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

What did you win?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

some latitude festival goodies

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

*Punches the fatter clouds*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

the "who's dead next?" sweepstake

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

I bet some lucky fucker got a few quid for yesterdays results

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

Hello, it's me!
Tonight I shall be chauffeuring my Mums God-Daughter to her year 11 prom in this

Never done a long journey in the thing before but it's going to be over an hours travel tonight.

What's been your most epic car journey?
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

Around the car park at Brimham rocks

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

OHMYGOSHILOVEBRIMHAMLOLS

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

It's probably eroded to sand since I was there

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

This one time, I went to mordor. Some orc bit my neck. I didn't like it.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

you sound like bilbo baggins
i like bilbo baggins
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

be a man, transport her in
this
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Hah.
Just pull up to the venue, slight tilt to the left and job done.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

I was expecting that to be a Honda Accord

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

In memory of Michael Jackson, today I'm going to Beat It.

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

u meen ur willy...
lol
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

Michael Jackson's dead

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

WHAT???????

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

HOLY SHIT!!! When Was This??
Seriously i was under a rock for the past 24 hours...
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

My mate went to have a wank in my living room today.
I walked in on him, but didn't see anything, he just looked at me and said "Sorry mate, just fancied a wank", "Oh, ok, I'm just getting some water, just make sure you clean up after yourself", and I left him to it.

I forgot the cleaner comes on a friday.

=/
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

"I forgot the cleaner comes on a friday."
there's a joke there
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

Yeah, but Michael Jackson's dead

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

She almost walked in on him.
He isn't sure if he got away with it or not, but the porn was still going on on the laptop.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

why in the fucking living room though?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

I'm going to be honest, it's not the kind of situation where I'm going to be asking questions.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Why would he want to just have a wank in your living room anyway?
I'm very concerned about your friends.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Very soft furnishings.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

you or the front room?

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

Postman always rings twice

(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

PROM????? PROOOOM?????? FAAKIN' PROM?
Faakin' 'ell mate, don't you think that's a bit heavy for an 11 year old?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Oh Gonz.
It's year 11, as in year 11 at school, she's 16.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

that girl is going to get nailed!

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

I should imagine so,
thankfully I only have to be there to help her make an arrival, the rest of the night is hers.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

I....I.....ermmm......errr..... I can have my suit cleaned'n'pressed by 6:30.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

Oooh, that's fair enough then.
I don't think any boys went to our school prom thing.

In retrospect, it would be worth being called a gay the next day.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

Why not?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Why no boys went?
Because only gays went to the school prom, all the cool kids went to the local night club.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

probably the high speed journey from edinburgh to leeds
in time to catch a coach

that was intense
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

That was indeed hectic.
I remember that.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

but we made it!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Just!

(

FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

it was an adventure. the stuff of legend.

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

It's not the United States
The only proms we have over here are the musical kind hosted by the BBC and Esplanades. She is going to a ball, a disco or a dance, I don't care which as they are all kind of shit.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

Naah.
She's going to her prom.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

aren't they normally referred to as "formals" or "balls" here?
two countries divided by a common language
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

Box socials.

You're right, it's the Americanisation (sic) of our language, 6th forms and colleges all round the country have proms now. It's a bit silly really.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

Then I wish her luck in her further and eventually higher education.

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

Amen to that

(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

from 1985 to 1955

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

I hope it's got wipe clean seats
I managed 460 miles on a tank of petrol this week. I usually get about 380 from it. I think I could squeeze it to 500 if I really tried.
(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

i once drove a car on the moon

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Oh yer I remember this one time I was in the gumball rally...
and I was tearing along beyond the speed limit on the wrong side of the road when I hit this car coming the other way and killed the driver and got sent to prison.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

I drove back from donegall, took near three hours
not uber-long but I've been driving less than a year
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

I think it took me about 2 years before I'd go anywhere longer than an hour away.

(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

I've just been reminded why I don't wear these shoes anymore
*takes off shoes and flings them across the office*

Hello, my transformation to GIRL is going very well. What's going well for you? Maybe you've had a personality transplant or something.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

*flies across the office*
Wheeee!
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

haha

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

Michael Jackson's Dead

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

What about his dead?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

i'm really glad you're here friz
your contributions today have been so worthwhile
www.b3ta.com/users/searchposts.php?id=52745&board=talk
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

19.26!
www.b3ta.com/talk/6252105
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

brill

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

My new sensible haircut.
I now look 35% less trampy.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

I look 78% trampy
had I not had a go at my facial hair to make me look like some camp evil villain, I'd be at 97%
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

I've now just got to work on the stains and smell of piss.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

try your best
I brought my poncho into work today
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

PAY DAY!
*buys sweets*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

i can transform into a giant red & blue truck with mounted rocket launchers
but i don't do it in public because i'm not a show off
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

Thanks for that Sandi Shaw

(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

good: im on my second beer
and my heating is now fixed and OFF. bad: the handyman was not hot.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

I've lost 20lb since the London bash.
So my weightloss is still going pretty well.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Look the real issue here is
what sould I buy in the chinese supermarket?

/edit I bought moth beans, chinese style flat noodles, sweets that are kind of like strawberry fig rolls and cream soda
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Someone who can clean the house for you.

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

I did that myself yesterday
If I'd known you can buy them, I'd have waited
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

I thought it was mexicans that were all cleaners
have I been missing out on a stereotype?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

Wasabi peas

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

^this

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

Very tasty to have with a nice pint

(

M o D, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

Chicken korma
gravadlax
bagels
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

chicken tongues

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

I was going to say geisha but that's japanese =/

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

Ready to cook prawn crackers
Oolong Tea
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

Pig uteri

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

HAY BLOOSTAR
*tugs sleeve*
i won a competition
a LATITUDE competition
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

Hottest festival Filly 2009?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

i'm sure to bag that one when i actually get there
but this was just a twitter competition to win GOODIES
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

Well done honey bunch

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

aww, how sweet
*blush*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

You better sign up to my event then
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19543
(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

yeah!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

The cream of Sum Yun Gi

(

FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

ahaha

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

*Cricket applause*

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

Where's this video link you promised then?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

Stuff and things

(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

ooh!
I like the sound of that
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

SUPPLIES!

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

YES!

 ___    _   _  ___    ___    _      _  ___    ___    _  _ 
(  _`\ ( ) ( )(  _`\ (  _`\ ( )    (_)(  _`\ (  _`\ ( )( )
| (_(_)| | | || |_) )| |_) )| |    | || (_(_)| (_(_)| || |
`\__ \ | | | || ,__/'| ,__/'| |  _ | ||  _)_ `\__ \ | || |
( )_) || (_) || |    | |    | |_( )| || (_( )( )_) || || |
`\____)(_____)(_)    (_)    (____/'(_)(____/'`\____)(_)(_)
                                                    (_)(_)

(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

      ___       ___           ___                       ___           ___     
     /\__\     /\  \         /\  \          ___        /\  \         /\  \    
    /:/  /    /::\  \       /::\  \        /\  \      /::\  \        \:\  \   
   /:/  /    /:/\:\  \     /:/\:\  \       \:\  \    /:/\ \  \        \:\  \  
  /:/  /    /::\~\:\  \   /:/  \:\  \      /::\__\  _\:\~\ \  \       /::\  \ 
 /:/__/    /:/\:\ \:\__\ /:/__/ \:\__\  __/:/\/__/ /\ \:\ \ \__\     /:/\:\__\
 \:\  \    \/__\:\/:/  / \:\  \  \/__/ /\/:/  /    \:\ \:\ \/__/    /:/  \/__/
  \:\  \        \::/  /   \:\  \       \::/__/      \:\ \:\__\     /:/  /     
   \:\  \       /:/  /     \:\  \       \:\__\       \:\/:/  /     \/__/      
    \:\__\     /:/  /       \:\__\       \/__/        \::/  /                 
     \/__/     \/__/         \/__/                     \/__/

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

I tried to read that in Japanese
and got as far as the fourth symbol before realising.
(

Bats, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

what did it say up to that point?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

Nonsense, as far as I can tell.
Ku-ta-ko-i. Futakoi (Twin Love) is a manga, according to Google.
(

Bats, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

all lace are equal,
but some lace are more equal than others
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

_{_              ___  _   _ ____  ____  _     ___ _____ ____                          _ _             ____  _   _ ____  ____  _     ___ _____ ____                          _ _           
 ___ _   _ _ __  _ __ | (_) ___  ___  / ___|| | | |  _ \|  _ \| |   |_ _| ____/ ___|   ___ _   _ _ __  _ __ | (_) ___  ___  / ___|| | | |  _ \|  _ \| |   |_ _| ____/ ___|   ___ _   _ _ __  _ __ | (_) ___  ___ 
/ __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | |/ _ \/ __| \___ \| | | | |_) | |_) | |    | ||  _| \___ \  / __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | |/ _ \/ __| \___ \| | | | |_) | |_) | |    | ||  _| \___ \  / __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | |/ _ \/ __|
\__ \ |_| | |_) | |_) | | |  __/\__ \  ___) | |_| |  __/|  __/| |___ | || |___ ___) | \__ \ |_| | |_) | |_) | | |  __/\__ \  ___) | |_| |  __/|  __/| |___ | || |___ ___) | \__ \ |_| | |_) | |_) | | |  __/\__ \
|___/\__,_| .__/| .__/|_|_|\___||___/ |____/ \___/|_|   |_|   |_____|___|_____|____/  |___/\__,_| .__/| .__/|_|_|\___||___/ |____/ \___/|_|   |_|   |_____|___|_____|____/  |___/\__,_| .__/| .__/|_|_|\___||___/
          |_|   |_|                                                                             |_|   |_|                                                                             |_|   |_|}

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I love supplieses.

(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

One of those golden tacky waving cats that bring good luck.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

Garfield?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

~~tacky~~ AWESOME
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

like wishbert?
*does the arm thing*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

WISHBERT

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

beaten to the punch there, irish

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

:(

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

daww

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

toad in the hole

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

I bought a bottle of water earlier in a chinese supermarket
I was going to get a banananana as well, but didn't cos they were all a bit green.

/broadswords exciting chinese supermarket anecdotes #411
(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

Some frozen ha gao (shrimp dumplings)
to steam, or Pocky. Strawberry, of course.
(

Bats, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

^ That
And some shaomai.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

I could eat steamed dim sum all day.

(

Bats, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

chinese restaraunt / taxi firm
shaomai the wei to go home

I can't be bothered filling in the bits around it
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

haha!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

a bag of prawn crackers that you have to cook yourself

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

egg flied lice

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

shitty chicken

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

shitty beef

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

ox pizzle

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

counterfeit video games and dvds

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

hahaha

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

MOGWAI NOT FOR SALE
*steals anyway*
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

A dog that when you look at it for over five seconds it gets scared but it's still waging it's tail

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I always come out with
a large knife.
(nugchuts, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

Shares

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)

OMG HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS??!
STEVE IRWIN IS STILL DEAD!

My facebook feed is full of people I really shouldn't be friends with - getting comfortable at
opposite ends of the Michael Jackson opinion poll - posting jokes and getting upset in equal measure...

my question? what are you going to do this weekend? I'm going out because it's my birthday on Wednesday - I'm also going sailing
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

I particularly enjoyed this exchange.
www.facebook.com/sam.crawshaw?v=feed&story_fbid=220786990331
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

Can't see it.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

It's mine
if anyone wants add me as a friend to see it I'll accept you, you can unadd me after if you want and I wotn' cry or anything but it is amusing.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

*does*

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

and done!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

YAY

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

I can has mirror?
They've rejigged the company content filter and I haven't bypassed this new one
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

It's sad that he died, but most people started mourning the Michael Jackson we love about 10 years ago

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

Totally Pointless
He was still alive 10 years ago.
(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

By that point he'd turned in to a (alleged) paedophile, plastic surgery obsessed shadow of what he used to be,
Not Michael Jackson.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

But in the Martin Bashir interview
he said that he only ever had one bit of plastic surgery done.
(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

That's because he thought he looked relatively normal and thought people would believe him.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

yup...
My niece, who is a bit gutted, was born in 1995 and I pointed out all his good stuff was brought out before she was even born
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

I can't think of anything after that time at all.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

It's hard to believe that in 100 years time there'll be nothing left of Michael Jackson
but bones and a face :(
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

This almost made me smile.
I've been trying to come up with a good joke based on the elephant man buying Jacko's bones.
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

McCartney is planning to swoop in and obtain the rights to Michael Jackson's songs.
Someone else come up with a punchline, as I like the ironic situation but can't think of a conclusion for it.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

He's been quoted as saying "we can work it out"
*runs for the hills*
(

BindiBaji, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

Is this the same hubare that criticised me for making attention-seeking threads yesterday?

(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

you are kidding, aren't you?

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

I thought the community as a whole had decided that posting satirical versions of existing shit threads was just as shit.
I really appreciate the interesting and original question designed to start a conversation though, thanks.
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

be careful those gravy tears of yours don't clog up your keyboard, petal...

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

Is this the part where the fat person accuses the non-fat person of being fat and or upset online?

(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

If you say so, it must be...
do you want some form of recognition? Shall I make you a badge?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

oh yes please
Can it say

'member of 'people lighter than hubare that have been bullied by food/upset references online by Someone fat from Aberdeen' club'
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

I'll make sure it in an extra small font it fits to your apprently anorexic frame...
anything else?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

can you start a Wormulus is shit club
and hand badges out to all the people that hate me, on the internet.
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

what about the people that are indifferent?
do we get badges too?
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

I'm glad that you've said you're indifferent.
stating it explicity on the internet in a thread about me is a really good way of proving beyond all doubt that you DON'T CARE ABOUT WORMULUS AT ALL.

well done there.
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

OK, INTERNET ANNOUNCMENT!
EVERYONE LOOK AT WORMULUS!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

lets not feed the troll

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

im just a bit tiny bit tired of all the WORMULUS IS SHIT/NOT SHIT/HAS CANCER/YEAH posts.
soz.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

A tiny bit tired?
I'm bored to death by every other post being about how I seek attention or am shit.
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

and how many of these posts are mine?

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

yus.
try not replying to it all. see how that pans out.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

I'm a fan of Wormulus.
He's like a likeable version of SexFace.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

nah...
Wormulus is a likeable version of SickRik... who is in turn a less shit version of sexface
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

I'm also a fan of Hubare.
He's Diet JMG, the JMG you can get upset at between meals.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

also 'apparently anorexic'
sorry to burst your bubble (no pun indended)
but not everyone on the internet is roomy, curvy or heavy.

I am what we refer to as a normal, healthy person, capable of clmbing a flight of stairs without assistance and can walk past a fastfood outlet without having a tantrum.
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

of course you are, dear
why are you getting so upset at the insinuation? would you like to talk about it? maybe if you tell me about your relationship with your mother
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

oh dear. Turning around a 'hubare is fat' post into a 'you are upset' post.
Oh hubare :(
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

yes... you're right... you're not upset
my mistake. I can't see where I could have garnered that from
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

Everytime I call you fat
I shed a tear.
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

You
Signalled the death of b3ta /talk when you registered.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

Hello Bud!
missed you.
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

what up, D

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

Ahhh... the voice of reason
how's tricks?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

Yo yo

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

yeah but BUT my big lebowski poster has just arrived

i'm not doing anything much besides relaxing this weekend. got a film night with housemates and friends tonight
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Mow the lawn,
Clean the house,
Wash the car,
Go to the gym,
Party.

Oh, and excitedly waiting for my Nabaztag to arrive, even though I have no internets at home yet because BT are massive bastards.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Work, both Saturday and Sunday.
What do you sail?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

£1 says it's a boat.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

ooohhh... it's a yacht
a sigma33
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

a yacht is a boat.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

I know...
I'm just being facetious
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

Nice,
I used to sail lots when I was a kid, Toppers, Hobie Cats and then I started crewing bigger stuff like Moody 45s.

Whereabouts do you sail from?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

Bangor, Northern Ireland
I'm doing a bit of dinghy sailing on Wed-Fri, i'm a bit top heavy for a topper though... I'm looking to get a hold of a Laser
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

You can pick up a laser for not a lot of cash, good fun too.
I'm a bit of a fairweather sailor, I don't like getting cold and wet!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

with a sail

(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Most of the people I have on Facebook are just saying RIP
I think this proves that wiping out the trash was a good idea.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

morning pickle
I agree, very sensible precaution.
I recently had a cull of autistic people from my facebook friends.
:)
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

*counts matches*

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

I bet you were gutted when you tried to subscribe to my 'feed'
only to discover no food was involved.
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

I had to WALK to the corner shop :(

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

I'm going out for dinner and to a casino tomorrow night
as it's my friend's birthday. I'll be so fucking PLEASED when tomorrow is out of the way because no more birthdays until August. YAY. I get a month off from birthdays!

In other news, HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

hello sexpot.
will you celebrate my birthday by taking your top off... I won't be around to see it, but I'll appreciate the sentiment?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

Well I have my appraisal on Wednesday.
That might not go down too well.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

i beg to differ!

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

Our guitarist is getting married tomorrow
so we are setting up the gear tonight as we are playing at the reception for a few hours.
And what's the betting some conspiracy theory will appear within a few days.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

every-FUCKING-now and again I fall apart...
please!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

They are getting our set and nothing else.
No doubt there will be a constant barrage of requests from uncles getting more pissed as the night progresses wanting AAggaaado do do and other assorted shyte, but they will be out of luck.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

i just dont know yet.
maybe fishing. maybe drinking. maybe sleeping. perhaps a combination of all three but thats just nuts.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

no, no... that sounds plausible...
I went camping and people basically set up their rods up with line sensors, got pissed, and fell asleep...

they then slept through the high-pitches squealing... I DIDN'T!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

haha losers
i have no alarms yet so no sleeping for rose.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

fishing? but you're a girl
don't be silly
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

my first one...YEAH!
SHARKY
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

Nice Nike product placement there.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

you could learn a bit about sales from me.
take notes.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

Haha, shush.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

Haha, pissage.

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

This weekend I plan to rent Resident evil 5
and complete it on co-op

fun times...
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Great game
But the lack of proper zombies is disappointing :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

I shall be serving a function on saturday and cooking a tasting on sunday.
Going to the cinema on monday to see transformers.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

I am going to spend time with my inlaws and my blood family all at one big party - AWESOME!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

MUST SCORE CRACK

(

broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

I dunno
Mrs vmos is back after being away for a week

I may feed the cat
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

this a prime opportunity to lose the huge fucking vermin.
edit: soz...was a prime opportunity.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

how dare you say that about Mrs Vmos

(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

This weekend,
Celebrating my BIRTHDAY!
Camping!
Going to the gym!
Fixing a computer!

Now it's time for dinner. I'm surprised nobody else has pointed this out.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

but
I've only just had breakfast
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

This weekend Matthew I am going to be Ray Mears
I'm going out into some local woods to source some wood with which to carve a spoon.
(

M o D, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

I've got some Chop sauce in my cupboard at home for you

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

Huzzah!
I had almost given up all hope
(

M o D, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

I shall get it posted

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

Thank you very much
I will of course reimburse you if you gaz me your paypal details
(

M o D, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

I don't know, that's ages away.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

I'd like to hear more from Mongy about aircon units.
Specifically which are best suited for home use.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

THIS is what I logged on for.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

What's wrong with a good old fashioned fan?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

It does not reduce the level of water in the air or cool it.
Just moves it round, all shit and wet and warm
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

Michael Jackson's dead

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

~~Michael Jackson~~ Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

Who ?

(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

Oh fuck.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

Will you do a sponsored Moonfacewalk in his memory?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

I was drinking free cider around the back of a gay bar when I found out

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

That's quite an elaborate euphamism for felching.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

euthamism-a-tron overload ggzzzrkkk

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

Ha

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

Also, an anagram of Michael Jackson is Hijack Calm Nose
Jam Also Chicken
Anal Chimes Jock
and Camel Hijack's On
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

An anagram of dead is dead :(

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

you are dusky gnome
snog my duke
no dyke mugs
and nosy mud keg
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

I like No Dyke Mugs :)
An anagram of Massive Face is Ass Vice Fame
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

can't make much with mine. apart from cap hurl

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

still toying with the idea of changing my name to manolith
can make some good stuff with that
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

+keen on air conditioning, as should we all be.

good point, friz
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

He's also dead :(

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6254138
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

Siemens do a nice Air con unit
that can be configured with an IP address, so you can adjust the settings from your web browser.
(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

depends on what you want from your aircon really, all rooms? heating and cooling? zone control or individual set points?

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

THIS IS THE KIND OF INTERNET WE NEED.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

you know what i really love... cooling towers, yes they get a bad press what with killing people if not looked after, but man, when i see the evaporation of the water i just love it

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

I live near here:
snurl.com/kx0qs

It gives me the horn whenever I drive past. Them's got some serious cooling.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

that is some big cooling, i'd love to get a look at them bad boys, i'm led to belive they use wooden baffels, imagine that

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

Wooden you say?
I learnt something on the internet today.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

so i heard, may be old news now, perhaps they have gone over to plastic too

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

I love big cooling but I love the planet too.
I condemn their use of plastic!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

bit embarrasing this, but when I was really little I used to think they were called "Britain Chimneys"
dunno why, just one of those word association things
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

cooling toweres are GREAT
but yes legionella ewwwwww
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

I need an air con unit
for my office at home. Its boiling in there at the moment, and I have about 6 desk fans scattered about the floor to help circulate the air so that the comptuers don't over heat.
I saw that B&Q did a DIY easy fit unit, but I heard they are a bit shit, i need some verification of this, or suggestions of alternativee units that are relatively straightforward to fit and not too expensive.
(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

I think it's important to remember that residential buildings in the UK don't need aircon units
It's only 3 days a year that it's too hot.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

I refute this. I refute this hard.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

i think he is trying to harsh our buzz here, he sure as hell didn't click that daikin link

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

then you're epic fail.
It's not been too hot yet. 25 C is not hot it's warm.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

All my temperature woes disappear as soon as I open a window.
Yeah, it gets a little stuffy in the kitchen, but that's because I'm using FIRE and I'm standing RIGHT NEXT TO IT.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

Needs more aircon.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

Here you go
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

Steve Buscemi is well good in it.

(

Malchick, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

I may get a haircut today
my hair is about 3 inches long what hairstyle do you suggest.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

get it cut like how Boarder Terriers have it

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

a sexy one
but i'd actually recommend growing it much longer

all the cool kids have long hair
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

And me too
I have long hair now
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

i'll be the judge of that
or i would. IF YOU'D COME AND VISIT ME
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

*high fives*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

*arranges hair into a big hair-hand*
*high hair fives*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

I want my hair that long
But then it just grows outward rather than down, I look silly like that.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

Pat Sharpe Bleached Mullet
Like the one he had circa 1993
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

Number 2 all over
Nice and cool, zero maintenance haircut. Possible danger of looking like an extra from Romper Stomper
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

I built one
I took an old cd rack, lined it with a dozen or so fans ripped from onld PCs and wired them to a PC PSU.

I've got pics somewhere
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

Brilliant!

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

this is what i'm going to spend my weekend doing
i41.tinypic.com/v2z98n.gif
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

that's not very nice

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

eating chocolate and getting your throat slit?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

har har har

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Beat me to it

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

That's pretty grim.
Didn't really want to see that.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

:(

(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

MR CHOPS!
Why does my aircon unit smell like feet?

Thanks in advance
(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

could be dirty condense water hanging around the coil, check the filter and the pump

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

I've cleaned the filter and emptied the shit water our of the bottom
it still smells like feet
(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

have you considered the fact that the smell might be coming from your feet?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

It's not
But thanks
(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

Have you tried an AC disinfectant spray?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Have you turned it off and on again?

(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

I suppose we need more info on what your feet smell like
If they smell like newly conditioned air, then there really is no problem
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

I think we have the answer

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

to the person (definitely someone off here but a number i didn't recognise)
that texted me about michael jackson last night I would like to thank you very much as when i receieved the text all my friends in the pub ripped the piss out of me and called me a bullshitter.

Until it was on the tv about 2 minutes later

LOVE OOH

apparently he didn't die in hopspital - he had a stroke in the children's ward first LOLOMGJOKEIHEARDBEFORELOLZZZ
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

i look forward to the red rocket lunch thread

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

I may have some barley water, I hope I don't get too hyperactive.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

is it robinson's?
barley water is a grandparents drink.
is this part of your plan to pull grannies?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

They can smell it on me and it gives them a right wet-on

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

dg: pleasing all of the people, all of the time.

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

ZOMGLOLFUCKOFFZOMG!

was that subtle enough?
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

fuck off you orange nonce, we are talking aircon

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6254097
(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

I loves aircon me
With all it's cooling goodness and funny smells
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

Serious business aircon.
The LG wall mounted unit in my office has packed up.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

dude no, does it have a digital display? error code? have you tried re-setting the condenser?

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

I cant read the digital display, it is too high up!
I have pressed the reset button on the remote but it just wont turn on!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

i think you have an issue with the outdoor unit, find it a check it is running

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

I have called the aircon man out instead.
I will have a look anyway.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

He had a cardiac arrest actually.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

I bet they'd been ripping the piss out of you for some time before that anyway.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

Today I am feeling grumpy
Tomorrow I shall feel the other 6.

Fuck me its warm already, what are you going to do this fine hot day?

*cranks up the aircon to level 2*
(

TBL I posted this on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

what type of aircon is it? moar info please

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

www.aircondirect.co.uk/WAC-414_Mobile_Air_Cooler_WAC-414/version.asp
(

TBL I posted this on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

oh i see, i was hoping for a more industrial ac unit, pehaps with chilled water pumps and a cooling tower, :((((((

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

nah - we have one of those at work
some big huge thing that looks like a spare part from the starship enterprise (secretly thinks it is anyway)
(

TBL I posted this on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

sounds smashing, i love a nice bit of aircon equipment, i'm a sucker for hv/ac

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

this is just dreamy, i can't wait to see it in the flesh
www.daikin.co.uk/news/items/altherma.jsp
(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

We have an aircon unit that can only be accessed from NEXT DOOR! Imagine that?

(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

GRASS
is the control in the next room? does it control more than one area? do you wish to pay me to remedy this outrage?
(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

The external bit can only be accessed by entry to a flat roof, the door to which is in the neighbouring building. FANCY THAT?

(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

Grass
that is just the condenser, you don't need to touch that, i often come across that sort of thing, it's cool
(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

It's broken though :(

(

WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

What's your view on the dyson airblafe?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

Fantastic!
They make your hands feel funny
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

brilliant bit of kit
i fit them in schools, no risk of burning
(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

Look at the fans on that!

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

that there is the future you are looking at
heat pumps man, they said they would not last, but look, it's heatpumps for the home, next thermal wheels dude, it's next
(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

It's given me a semi like only aircon can.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

it's fucking amazing, no more dirty boiler engineers, nice clean aircon guys coming to your house with gasses

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

When I went to the Samsung Office in Spain,
it was a new office that they were moving into, and I had to install all the network equipment. However, when the office was ready for the spanish staff to move in, the CEO of Samsung was coming to visit to check the new office, but there was a major panic as the building was prefitted with Daikin air conditioning throughout, and somebody had to peel off all the Daikin stickers of all the air con units and had replaced it with a dymo tape sticker reading "Samsung".
(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

haha, smashing aircon tale

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

I've seen similar things happen many times.
While I was there, they fitted CCTV, and they used Philips cameras and monitor, after it was fitted they stripped out all the cameras and the monitor and replaced them with Samsung ones.
(

turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

it's pissing down here
but it's still hot
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

It is raining here, and not very warm.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

i'm hoping for a big, crashy, bangy thunderstorm!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

TOMORROW I MAY BE BALLS DEEP IN A BRIDESMAID
I MAY ALSO NOT BE BALLS DEEP IN A BRIDESMAID

WE WILL SEE

HOWEVER IF I TELL THE INTERNET ABOUT IT

THEN IT IS UNLIKELY THAT I HAVE BEEN BALLS DEEP IN A BRIDESMAID
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

/SickRik

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

no, I wouldn't tell you about it if it happened.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

That, and you aren't a delightful shade of tangerine

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

or am I?
no, no I'm not.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

This is because you are not SickRik
or an Oompa Loompa.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

I WISH YOU LUCK WITH PLAN 'GET BALLS DEEP IN A BRIDESMAID'

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

I WILL DO MY BEST

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT SIR

(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

THANK YOU!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

HEY, I ALSO WISHED YOU LUCK

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

Am out all day in London, probably getting another earring and then drinknig around various celeb places and pretend to be famous and get chatted up by grannies.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

I may also dress up like a bridesmaid. I hope nothing naughty happens gneeeyyyy *Carry On Film sound effects*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

*monocle flies off*

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

DGMOS

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

Our kid will be the worst's sexiest climber

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

i'm pretty sure you didn't mean to type 'worst's' there

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

haha I mean't world's but maybe it was subliminal :S

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

don't be so hard on yourself
i was watching come dine with me yesterday and a mad lady had some dolce & gabanna sunglasses on her head

she was branded DG
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

Work, then have a lunch break, then more work
then go home.
(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

Oh wait, there's more
Put up with Tubby tapping on his desk, the guy opposite slobbering his way through a bunch of grapes, a conference call with a plank, and putting effort into writing a document for a customer I really don't want to retain.
(

magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

I'm going to go into work this afternoon,
and hopefully acquire some VEPs for my portfolio.
Maybe do some fourier analysis of some waveforms.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

IT'S FUCKING FREEZING IN HERE!
They always have the aircon up stupidly high

and it's not like "my gosh, it's nice to come into a nice cool office after that sweltering heat outside" BECAUSE I MAY AS WELL BE IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT! I BARELY GET TO SEE THE OUTSIDE NEVERMIND ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE IT!

LET ME FUCKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Find window
Throw chair out of window**

**not recommended in aircraft
(

TBL I posted this on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

THEY'VE GOT FUCKING BARS ON THE WINDOWS!
I'M NOT JOKING
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

more, aircon tales, smashing, do you know what type it is, split units, fancoil, versatemp ect?

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

we got 2 new massive aircon systems in the server room recently.
they're pretty impressive.
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

all this aircon is giving me the horn, what are they? are they big units, perhaps airedale?

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

they are behind a locked door that you need a code for
does this make them forbidden fruit? are you even MORE aroused now?

i believe they are ceiling casettes from this fine company
jsairconditioners.com/products/SEURLF/ASP/SFS/PID.467/SFE/details.htm
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

I DUNNO
There's a hole in the cieling that exudes coldness, there are some controls in the corner, covered by a big sign saying "DO NOT TOUCH"

I liked the old office, it used to be a server room with a big massive aircon thing designed for cooling big racks but we could fiddle with that and open the windows
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

grey and damp here - aircon unit turned up to 11 by female staff - I'm "smuggling peanuts" already!
It's a wall mounted Toshiba unit for the aircon-spotters
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

i love the info, does it have a wall mounted display or a remote control?

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

ooh there's two of them - I never noticed that before
/observant

It has a wall mounted digital display. They are RAV 243K-PE units
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

good, stuff, if you ever get some error codes you need to find out about gaz me up, i have a tosh manual around somewhere

(

mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

Not really my area - I just mend the PCs but thanks anyway
I'll let you know what we're using in our server rooms later - they are monster air con units - we have to wear fleeces if we need to work in there
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

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