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The secret of his serve training revealed.

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

Hover dog is his coach?

(

Joliet, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

TEA!

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!

The kettle's only just boiled!

(

Joliet, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

TEA IS DISGUSTING. BEER!!

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

tea is not disgusting

... beer and tea and not mutually exclusive - just try not to have them in the same cup and you'll be fine.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:51, archived)

actually -

from recollection - tea in Australia is disgusting. But so is the beer.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)

i avoid tea. It is unpleasant to my tastebuds.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:55, archived)

there are two explainations for this

1) you're doing it wrong - which is possible; some people think making tea is merely adding water to a cup which has a bag of pot pouri in it. They're wrong.

2) you are not right in the head. If the tea is made correctly it's impossible for a human being to dislike it.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:57, archived)

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:58, archived)

well there must eb some sort of dangerous surgery you can have

or you could drink nettle tea - do you have nettles in Oz?

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:00, archived)

i don't believe we have nettles. there thoses weeds that will sting you if you brush them right?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:10, archived)

yup

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:10, archived)

Good Woman

Make it strong and milky, sweet and weak, Milk no Sugar.

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

Righto

Here's your coffee, black with five sugars

(

Joliet, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:52, archived)

close

but no cigar

urgh

sugar is foul in caffeine beverages

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:55, archived)

You have cigars in your coffee?

how odd...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:57, archived)

just smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee

/Otis

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:01, archived)

Yay for smoking lifts!

*fails to resist urge to bring up 9/11*

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:03, archived)

I've never really been into the whole smoking thing...

I smoke a pipe, but it's not the same.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:06, archived)

Of course it's not the same....

A pipe is distinguished...

Cigars are a little sleazy, a little East End wideboy...

Ciggies are the everyman's tobacco, from Wayne Rooney to John Hurt...

Pipe is definitely the best choice.

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:08, archived)

I think so... you're right about cigars: it does something to me when ladies smoke them.

Probably not a huge leap of the imagination to understand why.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:13, archived)

global drinks manufacturers would beg to differ

or have you killed

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:01, archived)

don't....

just don't.

*regrets having come into work today*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:02, archived)

have you considered something really radical

like changing the colour of the can or suggesting that they ethically source their labour or something... or give me my teeth back?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:04, archived)

I'm currently considering

quitting my job, selling my flat, and going 'on tour' for about 2 years.

I have yet to come up with a good reason why *not*.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:06, archived)

jeezoh

is there any chance of a voluntary severance? Could you let your flat and cover the repayment so you didn't have to sell it just now? Where would you go? Could you get similar but more interesting work somewhere else (New York, Tokyo, Melbourne)?

Mrs. UC & I were thinking of doing exactly this - take the jobs on a world tour - but then I went and messed it up by putting secret plan no. 12 into effect which has delayed things a little

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:10, archived)

Secret Plan number 12 you say?

*consults log book*

You got yourself caught stuffing dead mice into the air conditioning so that everyone had to go home on sick leave until the vomiting stopped?

Fair play...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:15, archived)

thanks

although that plan was not to get caught. But, as the bard once said, the best laid plans of dead mice and men often gan a gayglee... not sure what gayglee is

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:19, archived)

You should visit my office... I could show you some gayglee alright...

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Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:21, archived)

well, a job in NY, NY (so bad they named it twice)

fell through, but the 'working while touring' thing sounds like a plan.
My initial destination would be Africa (chum living Rileys' life out there in a huge diplomatic gaff in Ghana). Not sure how well my skill set would fit in though....

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:16, archived)

Can you write e-mail?

Then Nigeria have job for you good sir. All training provided upon provision of bank account details.

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Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:20, archived)

meh

they sell *global drinks manufacturer* in Ghana don't they?

:)

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:22, archived)

hehehe

actually, we have an office in Ghana....

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:23, archived)

Tits.

*global drinks manufacturer* should put tits on the cans.

Furry squirrel tits at that...

And tails.

They'd make gajillions.

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:06, archived)

*steals idea*

*Paypals SJD a fiver for his trouble*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:08, archived)

That's more than my real job has paid me this month!

I'm rich!

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:09, archived)

Tennis ball dog is enjoying himself.

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Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif!!

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)

Thought you'd appreciate this

I'm making an animated short film using the CO toys. Here's some shots from filming. Trailer.. soonish. Maybe this weekend.

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

A trailer would be nice.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

I fucked that post up and can't edit.. how strange

Double strange that this doesn't work...

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

what are you doing??!!!

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

chovron of wrong?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

Oh, so it's deliberate?

That's ok then.

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

sadly no

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

splendid

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i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

I like this

by this I mean that

*points to grunty's post*

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

I like this

good stuff

(frenchtoilet, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)

you made me think it was working :(

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

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Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

Perfect.

Completely perfect.

:D

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:48, archived)

If you only see one Red X this year - make it this one

5 stars - Griffy Savalas

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

pfft

Take this for making me spill coffee

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

haha wibble

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

what have you done?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

hmmm.. redexing for me...

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

this work?

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

is that what we were all waiting for?

*waits for animation*

(

MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

EXTERMINATE!!

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

FP This NOW!!!!

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

you cant just keep posting the image

you need to re-upload it

(Tefty thought long and hard about posting this on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

those three worked

nice lighting

(

chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

What the bloody hell are you doing?????????

For fucks sake!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

whoa jpg, he's doing nothing wrong...

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)

*slaps*

Shut up, you.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)

...

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:52, archived)

Not so much wrong..

just "differently posting"

(

Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)

yeah well he's recovered the thread from the redex disaster to begin with.

so it's all cool.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:53, archived)

i'd edit it all

but I can't. Something to do with cookies I imagine.

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:55, archived)

these are some images i made

I thought I'd share. In one thread.

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)

no no no you should poste them in all different threads and make the pictures 1mb each

so that everyone can shout at you and waste even more bandwidth on crappy fail images we've seen a million times before!! :)

nice work.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:51, archived)

.some people aren't clever enough to detect sarcasm

careful now

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:03, archived)

Gah!

I was just going to do that!

:D

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:11, archived)

...and this man was the consultant when

the FAQ was originally written.

You should trust him.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:04, archived)

*ahem*

*Pulls Self together*

I'm sorry, you're completely right. It just started out as a bit of a car crash, that's all.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:52, archived)

I'd edit, but I can't.

Sorry. I know the ettiquete here.

but not how to spell it.

(Parrott!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:56, archived)

*re-establishes calm*

No worries. The pics are top.

I'll go lie down now.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:58, archived)

Your images are very nice

Don't worry about it :)

*offers mug of cocoa and a cookie to JPG)

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:52, archived)

*adds a generous measure of brandy*

Thank you.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)

....

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)

I love that so much!

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:52, archived)

^ this

with added ^ this.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:53, archived)

If someone can do this properly and put it on Youtube it would be reet cool.

But why?
PS I'm aware of the Dylan messager but I can't get it to work here. :(

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

printmeister could do it, he's got all the frames in a .psd I think.

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)

money grabbing gits :(

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

hehehe

Interesting error message from La Telegraph:

"The network is currently down for maintenance. Please be patient, we're working on it!"

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

I liek very much

as someone who has had vids banned because I used music I bought from UMG on videos, I totally agree with the sentiment.

(

Alfred Pimble uninspired since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

the times they are a changin...

they tried taking one of my videos down even though it was commissioned by the record label.

Its funny when they talk about lost revenue, but who the hell would pay to have one of their tunes in the background of their youtube video?

(

mutated monty, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:53, archived)

hahahaha!

What utter twats

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:55, archived)

Depends how popular the video is....

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:55, archived)

Warners took one of mine down

I'm fully expecting a cease and desist over my JS logo anyday now

EDIT: AND Universal are doing it to...

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:53, archived)

can we have a de-ris link

that I can click on in public?

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:56, archived)

Spending some time outside the dungeon Waspy?

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:58, archived)

I could send you a psd if you want to do it yourself.

gaz me if you would like it. I've not got much time this afternoon.*

*cannot guarantee psd holds a great anim...

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:00, archived)

Doesnae matter

That would be sweeetums. :)

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:02, archived)

I dun an arts

CFB & Link

Wont be to everyones taste, but when i'm not lurking on b3ta while pretending to work, I play BF2 at home.

The clan I play for, well we have been going 3 years now so I made a movie, did up a DVD cover and sent it out to the members.

Since this counts as photoshoppery I thought I would share it with you lot too, also if you click the image there is a download link on the page for the movie its-self

I know a couple of you on here do video editing related stuffs, so any feedback for an eager amateur would be welcome.

(Tefty thought long and hard about posting this on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)

i'm impressed

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:38, archived)

I'm impressed that you're still listening to Europe

Is it for a bet?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)

actually - not anymore - I'm listening to Pop Master on Radio 2

Europe's last album was pretty good

How goes the Pitch?

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Not well.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)

have you through of stealing something popular from the internet

I heard people sometime do that

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

what, you mean all our feckin' 'creatives'?

;-)

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)

just to clarify, i didnt paint the front image myself, that is a Bf2 wallpaper, but I did the rest of it like...

(Tefty thought long and hard about posting this on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

then you should say "Impressive" in a Darth Vader voice

chicks love it.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

^ this

It's true.

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

*takes deep breath*

mmm, Impressive

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:48, archived)

goodness

my bra has melted!

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:53, archived)

*swoons*

ooh, freeeebs!

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:56, archived)

Well, that's it

I read the word "tea" in you DVD blurb and now I have to go and make myself a cup.

I hope you're happy you talented shopping bastard!

(

Joliet, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

dont forget the biscuits!

(Tefty thought long and hard about posting this on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)

Way ahead of you, buddy!

(

Joliet, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

ed: ta all. :) enjoy your borat quote.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:30, archived)

yes

this

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:31, archived)

For Make Benefit Glorious Website of b3ta

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)

eet ees nice!

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prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:31, archived)

^ Thees

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Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:33, archived)

Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world!

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)

*whispers*

actually... Canada's my favourite...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:38, archived)

Don't be dissing Djibouti now

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:38, archived)

Wouldn't dream of it...

I tell you what though... Lesotho is one country I could live without.

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

I like the Canadian National Anthem

... the beautiful and intelligent and possibly lurking Mrs. UnderCover and I have decided that it's "Our Song"

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:42, archived)

Then this one's for you...

*deep breath*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANAADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

*brings a tear to my eye*

I wish Mrs. UnderCover were here to enjoy this beautiful moment and possibly some queening

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

Ha ha ha ha ha

Also your below post perfectly sums up the lyrics...

It's like Men of Harlech:

Men of Harlech something something something something WALES!

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:51, archived)

OH CANADA...

la la something something else... OH CANADA doo doo hills and treeeeeeeeeeeeeees

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)

BLAME CANADA!! BLAME CANADA!!!

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)

ta,

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)

Nice arts

I like!

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:31, archived)

Yagsemash! My name-a Borat! I like you

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)

Nicely

(

elephant rider property shark sighted!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:32, archived)

Now this, this is genius.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:33, archived)

high cockalorum

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:34, archived)

^this

^^ to that
^^^ to the op

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)

High cockalorium!

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)

hi cockalorum indeed

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

Nice use of the generator ;)

www.b3ta.com/links/Bus_slogan_generator

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

...Indeed. I assumed it was well knonw enough now to not need credit

The whole board was full of it this morning.

Also, cockalorum? Moi? Mais pourquoi?

(

elephant rider property shark sighted!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)

If people were to woo yay your woo yay

this could cause a dangerous rift in the space/time continuum.

Therefore "Hi Cockalorum" was devised to dodge this potential hazard.

dictionary.mictoboy.co.uk/define/hi+cockalorum/

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)

Ooooh, I hadn't heard that one before.

Classic b3ta. Thanks for that.

*Glees*

(

elephant rider property shark sighted!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:56, archived)

What a handy little tool.

(

Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)

Marvellous!

(

Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:33, archived)

Gypsy! Give me your tears! If you will not give them to me, I will take them from you!

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

you're very good at these

I like it

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:33, archived)

My moustache still taste of your testes!

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

very nice.

You've managed to capture his... essence.

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:34, archived)

And how do you recommend I cook this?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)

Cook?!

You heathen! Raw, like a big phlegmy oyster. Perhaps with a dash of tabasco.

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

Is it a problem that-a women have smaller brain than men?

sorry, couldn't help it :P i believe that typically the opposite may be true

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)

Top Skills, sir

Although I would like to see Mr Baron-Cohen dead, his family dead, his house burned to the ground.

Maybe that's just me, then.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:35, archived)

Dear Mr Peasemould Gruntfuttock

I disagree with your opinion, and have added your name to my ignore list forthwith

Your sincerely
Mr G Savalas

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:38, archived)

from the Pasanonic school of dialog, yes?

;-)

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)

Too polite...

Needs more "fuck off! I've had it with you cunts"

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

ah go easy.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)

er, I mean *ignores*

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)

he's related to a bloke called Simon

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)

anti Semite, to be honest i haven't seen enough to hate him so much, i'd rather reserve my hatred for others.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)

I'd hold him down for you

as long as I get a go with the scalpel.

(

chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

Use of the scalpel is

conditional on use of the Chainsaw, so as long as you're ok with that....

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)

ok with me,

I prefer to be able to look right into their eyes as I cut them...

At least I assume I would...

not that I ever have...

damn.

(

chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)

hahahah, brilliant :D

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)

Why you call police? Did the retard escape?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

'ning

(

MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:00, archived)

HA HA HA HA

he's attacking!

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:00, archived)

like a Scientological mosquito

that's gay

(

MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:01, archived)

with two

Philippino "assistants" who travel with him*

*apparently true from a source I trust

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:03, archived)

and rape his freakishly small backside daily

while reading expensive chapters from "scientology for gay dwarfs"

(

MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:04, archived)

Chapter 12: Parenting

Although he studio executives arranged for your sham wife to get knocked up at some clinic you may still sometimes have to look at or interact with the child, this will makes things much easier for the child when you lavish love on them in front of the media... if your child has a mental illness you should buy chapter 72 - CARPETS ARE EVILLLOLZ

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:08, archived)

*caffinated beverage over monitor*

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:03, archived)

hahahahha

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:01, archived)

I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY! I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY! I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY!

I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY! I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY! I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY! I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY! I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY! I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY!

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:02, archived)

He should love her while he can

That detox is screwing up her liver...

(

Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:04, archived)

I love Kaite Holmes

I like the way her cock feels on my face

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:05, archived)

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I'll always be indebtted to Sam Raimi for making The Gift

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:06, archived)

I had visions of a "Sharon Stone" moment then!!

*shudders*

(

Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:09, archived)

Hahahaha!

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:13, archived)

hahaha!

the little fucker's had too much tartrazine again...

(

enceladus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

i see he's grown a bit

(

Foxglove -- it all ends in tears anyway..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

I'll just drop this while you're all fretting over subject lols

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:42, archived)

I did not enjoy that movie much

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:52, archived)

I sort of did

I guessed what was going on pretty early on, so just sat back and watched Eric Sykes act the lovely Ms Kidman off the screen

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:54, archived)

I thought it was a pretty obvious shabadoo

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:56, archived)

This just in:

Pffft!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:54, archived)

over to Barry with the sport

Barry...?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:55, archived)

;-)

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:58, archived)

nice tash and quiff combo

... can anyone else smell honeysuckle in my office?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:59, archived)

*sniffs*

I'm getting overtones of budlia.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:02, archived)

Oi!

Buddleia!
Named in honour of Adam Buddle (d 1715).
*crawls back under rock*
Edit: ...That would be "*adumbrates self*", I suppose.

(

Bee Nice |-|, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:57, archived)

hehehehehe!

nothing like a bit of Dickie to start the day off right

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:07, archived)

I say!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:23, archived)

hehehe... how silly!

(

enceladus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:54, archived)

hahahhah! brill sir :D

never got around to seeing that yet....

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:54, archived)

Never seen it, but woo your pic :)

Also, congrats on your FP :D

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:56, archived)

don't bother

watch South Park instead... or There Will Be Blood

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:00, archived)

Quick unrelated question for boarders

I have just finished a piece for a film poster competition for a non-b3ta-ey web series (Jake and Amir), is it OK to post it? It isn't especially funny but I feel like showing someone...

Feel free to pre-emptively nazi me!

(ManekiNeko loves horses, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:59, archived)

well, as long as it's SFW, your own work, not someone elses, and its not oversized

I don't think it would be a problem....

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:03, archived)

Check

Check, check and also check.

(ManekiNeko loves horses, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:07, archived)

newsletter subject line compo

if entering these things you say, "never"
now is the time to write something clever

(

rob, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:36, archived)

ZOMFG

etc

EDIT: How is Maddie coping with the Credit Crunch?
EDIT 2: Maddie to open new Woolworths in Portugal.

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:37, archived)

she's doing well thanks

... shit - hopefully no one noticed

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:39, archived)

I did.

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:41, archived)

You realise I'm going to need that cupboard space soon?

EDIT: It's like that old joke. How many dead hookers can you fit in a garage? Two more if I move the bike.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:41, archived)

I've already let you fill the bath with marmite

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!??!

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:42, archived)

A golden syrup shower:P

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:52, archived)

I imagine that would be an

unpleasant experience

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:52, archived)

Unless you had a hundreds and thousands towel.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:54, archived)

you'll never get me to move from my

waffle dough bath robe.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:57, archived)

*musters Ethiopians and gives them forks*

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:59, archived)

How is that dungeon coming on by the way?

Ive got 3,000 Italian workers i need to move in asap.

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:42, archived)

I used to go to a club called the Dungeon.

The owners got pissed off that everyone called it The Dindgy so they changed the name to Legends.
They soon changed it back to The Dindgy sounded better than Leg Ends.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:53, archived)

There was a club round our way called Heroes

It specialised in tribute acts. Attendance dropped so they ditched the acts and changed the name to fuel. NOw the only people who go there are crack addicts.

Oh and everything in there is still branded as Heroes *face-palms*

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:04, archived)

Well they should change it back to Heroes

And then the clientelle will all be small chocolate bars.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:07, archived)

If they start packing fudge

I'm there.

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:08, archived)

there's a sandwich shop in town called Heroes

it is permanently graffiti'd to read "Herpes" on all signs.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:57, archived)

THE MADDIE COUNTDOWN CLOCK

(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:30, archived)

YOU COW!

Moooosletter!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:37, archived)

More punctual than a B3ta compo...

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)

I got ignored by Pasanonic and all I got was this lousy newsletter

(

Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)

^ this

(

xandmi, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)

Oh please this :)

(

Ghostwriter can't pick up his pencil, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:45, archived)

hehe

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:47, archived)

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:50, archived)

did I miss something?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:53, archived)

The fact that he's an utter cunt?

unlikely, but possible.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:59, archived)

I see...

I always miss the flouncing

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:02, archived)

I wouldn't fret.

Take one measure of pompous-ness, mix with a liberal dash of opinionated fuckhead, and garnish with a dash of has-no-idea-what-he's-actually-talking-about* and you've pretty much got it.

*Potential Daily Mail readership optional.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:06, archived)

He and a few regulars had a slight online altercation around Monday

His ignore list grew rather large.
I have no problems with the chap, but it's fun to get some popcorn, sit back and watch the fireworks...

(

Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:03, archived)

oh god, ^ please let it be this...

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:56, archived)

This an awful lot of attention to give an ego maniac gratis

but on the other hand, he'll never see it, the silly fucker...

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:03, archived)

Consolidating your debts into one easy loan.

(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)

THIS IS THE NEWSSSS

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)

'Bouncing Elephantiasis Man Destroys Central Portsmouth'

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:00, archived)

Bearded Cleric in Oily Chin Insertion

Now fact me till I fart!

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:06, archived)

FFFFUUUUUU

(

Rails [*·:·], Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)

it's slightly better than cancer

(

MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:39, archived)

Italian man sticks finger up.

(

Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:39, archived)

There is probably no newsletter. Now stop complaining and read this.

(

xandmi, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:39, archived)

Warning: newsletter may contain letters and news.

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:39, archived)

... well - I say 'news' ... it's more like a bunch of hilarious stuff and things.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:40, archived)

it's quite poor this week so I'd just delete it

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:41, archived)

"Still looking for the red blender."

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:41, archived)

If offended please contact Jonathan Ross c/o BBC

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:41, archived)

Tina Turner: Tuna Toner

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:42, archived)

There's probably no God

so stop worrying and read the newsletter

*edit* - super arsebags, xandmi beat me to it :(

(Tefty thought long and hard about posting this on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:42, archived)

This week: Frotting - how hard is too hard?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:44, archived)

I like this one.

(

enceladus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:10, archived)

PASANONIC'S IGNORE LIST LEAKED ON INTERNET

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:45, archived)

hehe

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:47, archived)

IT'S EVERYONE ELSE THAT FLOUNCES, NOT HIM

I hear he donates a lot of money so he's allowed to stay here.

(

gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:55, archived)

I hear you just love him and tell the other mods to let him stay

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

get a room

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:24, archived)

Contains 52% Snarn

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:46, archived)

what's the other 48%?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:54, archived)

Smeldge

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:55, archived)

sawdust and vomit

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:55, archived)

so, as appealing as

snarn, then?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:03, archived)

As Schrödinger would say, "If you close your inbox, is it still there?"

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:46, archived)

depends on what you observed when you opened your inbox.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:01, archived)

viagra and warez junkmail.

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:09, archived)

CLOSING DOWN SALE: EVERY LINK 50% LESS FUNNY THAN BEFORE

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:47, archived)

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:48, archived)

Hehehe

(

elephant rider property shark sighted!, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:03, archived)

badgers

the niggers of the animal kingdom

(

SiX and his hat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:47, archived)

Shoving Credit right up your puckered crunch hole

(Super Oaf Petit filous?, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:47, archived)

I fought the law, and the law won. So I paid a member of the House of Lords £100K

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:47, archived)

Dad throws daughter off bridge.

(

Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:47, archived)

(BUS MESSAGE IN PURPLE)(NOW IN RED)(OH LOL, THE YELLOW BIT)

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:48, archived)

haha

fucking images of busses eh...

(Tefty thought long and hard about posting this on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:50, archived)

hgahahahahahaha!

*click*

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:52, archived)

lol

nice 1 :D

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:54, archived)

Edit>Trasform>Perspective is your friend.:P

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:04, archived)

I've always preferred "distort"

More control...

(

Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:09, archived)

Gordon Brown; single handedly eliminating class overnight by making everyone poor

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:51, archived)

Go on - its blue bits are aching

to turn purple at the firm touch of your mouse.

(

enceladus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:52, archived)

Don't buy beds from IKEA, they don't have slats...oops

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:52, archived)

Ikea Nëwslëttä, £165 (slats sold separately)

(

Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:07, archived)

Newsletter, now 40% more absorbant. Be confident.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:53, archived)

shitting in a condom just for the viking funeral

(

gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:54, archived)

Broadband in every home by 2012? Let's sort the fucking Olympics out first lads ffs

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:57, archived)

The Tate have got some Polish twat in...possibly to fix the guttering.

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:59, archived)

I'm rob and I'm gay

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:01, archived)

Why do birds, suddenly appear....every time, Bernard Manning's near...

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:01, archived)

Pasanonics ignore list found on train

picture that popular it was taken down

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:07, archived)

With more cool links

than Chinese Ice Hockey.

(

enceladus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:08, archived)

Jonathan Ross is this years bwack

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:10, archived)

Random ban lottery instated to cull whiners and infighting, rob manuel to buy eighth speed boat with donation funds, /talk board users quietly moved to seperate website and /QOTWers just told directly to fuck off

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:12, archived)

Distracting weblinks fuel recession

it's all b3ta's fault

(horrid, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:15, archived)

Sponsored by Devastatin' Dave

The Turntable Slave

*Zip Zap Raps*

(

mugatu, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:17, archived)

Now with extra apostrophes donated by Birmingham council

illiterate fools.

(

prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:22, archived)

Call of Duty 5....not as good as 4. What the shuddering fuck?

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:24, archived)

different development team

C.O.D 4 Infinity Ward -- woo!
C.O.D 5 Treyarch -- boo!
C.O.D 6 Infinity Ward -- woo!

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:27, archived)

B3TA bosses promise financial aid to struggling B3tans

For a paper copy of this newsletter please send £20 to the usual address.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)

"Manipulating you illicitly since 2001"

(

Zuowan, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)

We're sliding a gong on the chest of a slave...

(

cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)

let loose the pensioners!!!!!!!!!!!

(

cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:10, archived)

Hahaha!

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:14, archived)

cue dad's army image?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:14, archived)

Hahaha

I haz bacon, mushroom and scrabbled heggle muffins:D

Which beds the DTHish question. What did you lot have for brekkie this morning?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:20, archived)

damn you sir, for making me hungry! I had crunchy nut cornflakes.

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:22, archived)

Still, the king cereals though!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:23, archived)

hell yeah :D

although I do miss those banana flavoured rice crispies from years ago...

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:24, archived)

*thinks of the Kellog's Start advert in the 80's*

...Come on come on lets stick togeather...

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:26, archived)

Shredded Wheat :(

And orange with bits in :(

(

Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:23, archived)

Who the fuck drinks it wiith out the bits?

I have visions of some small anemic dweeb who's scared he'll choke on them.
Hmm I haven't used the word dweeb in years. Makes me think of Rude Dog and the Dweebs.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:25, archived)

I choked on them as a child.

I still have PTSD from that event.

(

Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:26, archived)

PTSD?

Pertrified Terradactil Snogging Delia?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:27, archived)

Exactly that.

(

Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:29, archived)

Thought so.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:31, archived)

nothing, really, i had breakfast at lunch time. It was a hamburger

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:25, archived)

a bowl of Rice Krispies

and a coffee

Now I'm hungry

maybe a half past nine bag of crisps?

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:29, archived)

You need toats!!!

*dons marmite hat*

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:30, archived)

are you volunteering to drive to Leeds to deliver toats

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:33, archived)

No you need to dial 999 and ask for the toats guards.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:33, archived)

ha ha ha and get an ice cream for Petunia

(

cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:36, archived)

JAM OVERBOARD!

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:37, archived)

Marmite understated?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)

ningles

... just send Liz out on a muffin run :)

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:37, archived)

*imagines ER II popping out on a muffin run.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:43, archived)

I'm skint

and it's usually Nicola who does that

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:43, archived)

the usual

chocolate, custard creams and a cup of tea
its the food of Gods!

(

cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:30, archived)

But not the body of one:P

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:31, archived)

no i have the body of a Goddess

the venus of Willendorf to be precise.

(

cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:35, archived)

Mostly 'armless?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:40, archived)

ha ha ha - tights for the ladies!

I have chocolate - fancying coming to my jeep for a bit of tribbing?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:36, archived)

tribbing???????????

what's that then???
ah never mind...you have chocolate :)

(

cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)

it's like frotting but for women

I think

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:41, archived)

oh.. twiddling

(

cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:44, archived)

Ha ha!

*click*

and have this:

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:41, archived)

aww ..americans bless them

the Enid Blyton of warmongerers

(

cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:47, archived)

Ning one and all.

Bridge....check!!!
Helicopter....check!!!
~~Shark~~ Pike....check!!!

(

Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:03, archived)

heheheheh!

'ningles everyone! YAY for fridays!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:04, archived)

I tried to hastle uni to let me enroll early and get a desk and stuff

so i could end my boredom. epic fail :(

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:06, archived)

how can you possivbly be bored when we have b3ta? :D

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:08, archived)

ningles stevie!

Yay for friday!

I'm in such a good mood, NOTHING is going to spoil it

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:17, archived)

hehehe! Famous last words?

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:20, archived)

That's no fake!

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:05, archived)

is it real?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:06, archived)

Don't tell him, pike!

(

Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:06, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! stop the thread we have a winner.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:07, archived)

hahahahha!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:12, archived)

hahaha!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:16, archived)

I took this picture only yesterday

(

Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:07, archived)

Here comes Muffin...

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:01, archived)

Hahaha!

Soup Herb!

(

Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:03, archived)

that is a very literal "woody" :D

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:06, archived)

/muffin blog

woo

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:33, archived)

Meh

(Speshal, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:41, archived)

Hahahahaha

Excellent! :D

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:44, archived)

Fuck me

it's Ram-Man :D

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:45, archived)

he looks like a face on the top of a knee.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:45, archived)

he looks like a knee who acts like a face

(

Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:18, archived)

Hahaha

He got all the girls after his star part in the Whack-a-Mole movie.
'ningles b3ta. Today I shall mostly be calling my hangover Willywillywilly Oxenfree.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:49, archived)

your hangover from two pints? YOU WEAKLING!!

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:00, archived)

Hahaha

Well it beats you getting pissed on half a Babysham shandy.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:01, archived)

don't think I've done that since i was about 4 or 5.

onto my third pint of homebrew right now. bit warm here this evening.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:05, archived)

Well when you get through your fifth bottles of wine get back to me.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:13, archived)

lol an "i can out drink you argument on the internet"

i once managed about 4 bottles of plonk/champers but I wasn't paying for it, and the bloke that was put the cork in on my :(

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:24, archived)

So basically you're saying you can outdrink me by drinking one bottle less of the same thing?

I tohught you were into maths.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:36, archived)

*Waits for a "Jabba The Hutt" shop*

(Stashie is plotting against his blender on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:52, archived)

That sounds great

I would make purchases in a Jabba The Hut Shop.

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:58, archived)

It'd take ages to get served though by the time the fat fuck gets to the till

(

Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:01, archived)

Arse, gob. arse

Top L-U-R-K-A-G-E btw

(

Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:56, archived)

Lurkage?

I've seen better.

(R3cord3r, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:58, archived)

So that would make it people go started lurking on b3ta before started?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:00, archived)

He must be awesome at hitch-hiking

So - was the original genuine, shopped or a really bad camera angle?

(

Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:58, archived)

Original

(Speshal, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:22, archived)

*presses head down*

*plays Pop-Up Pirates*

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:59, archived)

*stabs*

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:01, archived)

Crikey!

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:05, archived)

I thought

Hotblack Desiato was spending another year dead for tax purposes...

(

Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:12, archived)

maybe

(Penultimate Straw has been bested by the worst., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:35, archived)

ahhhahhhah

nice!

Sqrlz?

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:36, archived)

I'm gonna leave this here.

(

ClanSoul, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:17, archived)

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:44, archived)

hahaha

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:59, archived)

hoots!

(

harribobs invented christmas on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:35, archived)

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:47, archived)

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:56, archived)

Oh, found the generator :D

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:12, archived)

Let's see 'em exclusion zone THIS!!....."umm, one way to HULL please"

(Stashie is plotting against his blender on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:15, archived)

Hahaha

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:17, archived)

(

d d, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:18, archived)

hahahaha total win

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:20, archived)

you know i mostly just lurk on b3ta.com/board and whenever i do post something its always a super lame like thissss

(

d d, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:24, archived)

HAHAHAHA!

So true.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:22, archived)

lol

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:24, archived)

HAHAHAHA

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:26, archived)

*looks to see who started the thread*

*finds person on list*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:28, archived)

pasonic is a gay bus and he likes it when dudes load up on him

(

d d, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:29, archived)

I heard a rumour that syncubus got banned from the talk board.

He was pretty ok before he went there.

Pasanonic hasn't been banned at all despite his very obvious trolling.

I suggest we let synchubus only post on /board and let pasanonic only post on /talk.

syncubus might become fun again and the talk board gets their fresh dose of fear and hate.

EVERYBODY WINS

(

gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:14, archived)

I'm spent.

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:24, archived)

THAT BUS IS AN ATHIEST

(

d d, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:25, archived)

I got one more

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:32, archived)

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:34, archived)

hahahahahaha!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:34, archived)

oh go on then

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:42, archived)

Yes!

They get on for free, cost the company £1.70 then get off two stops down the road. Fuck those assholes.

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:45, archived)

Why do...

old people INSIST on shopping on a saturday. is it just so they can moan about how busy it is and how they have to queue?

You've got ALL WEEK you cunts.

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:49, archived)

it takes them all week to find the front door

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:00, archived)

"And........................Why not?" (Barry Norman) lol

Edit:- Hope the Doc doesn't mind.

(Stashie is plotting against his blender on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:43, archived)

hahahaha

(

AgentMuu hentai coordination, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:57, archived)

hahaha

We should be proud :) *

*subject to opinion

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:03, archived)

hahaha

Jon Worth's lawyer is rubbing his hands with glee

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:08, archived)

Ha ha!

That's WIN right there!

(

Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:13, archived)

ris on the reference, but nicely shopped.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:39, archived)

Eye of Sauron?

In the Jackson movies, anyway

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:42, archived)

no water near sauron's eye

imagine the size of the eye drops though.

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:04, archived)

my missus reckons LotR is a big misogynist homo orgy

because she reckons Sauron's eye is just a great evil fanny

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:10, archived)

umming of orcs too

no personal hygene.

The Minge of Sauron doesn't quite sound as dramatic though.

(

Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:34, archived)

L O T R

(Penultimate Straw has been bested by the worst., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:42, archived)

ah ta fellas

i haven't seen lotr, nor read them...

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:43, archived)

Where have you been for the last four or five years?

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:44, archived)

uni of sydney...

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:53, archived)

The movies all came out consecutively each Boxing Day and you were at Uni????

I hope she was worth it....

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:58, archived)

who's she? :'(

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:07, archived)

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christopher Lee must be in there somewhere

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:44, archived)

Might work.

But as it was taken out by a
pair of midgets, problematic.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:45, archived)

in that case

we'll have sharks with fricken laser beams.

(Penultimate Straw has been bested by the worst., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:49, archived)

MY FATHER WOULD MAKE OUTRAGEOUS CLAIMS LIKE HE INVENTED THE QUESTION MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!1

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:59, archived)

This opend a woo portal on my desk

(

Letum Your Ad here £2.40, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:50, archived)

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:55, archived)

(

Letum Your Ad here £2.40, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:57, archived)

OMG that's FRESH

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:15, archived)

Cheers

(

Letum Your Ad here £2.40, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:21, archived)

Hahaha

Ace!

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:16, archived)

Well, better get off to work. Sigh.

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:03, archived)

Haha

at least he'll get a double seat to himself.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:11, archived)

yar har har

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOvVjb5LnQ0

*runs away shamelessly*

(

AgentMuu hentai coordination, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:59, archived)

mmmmmmmm crisps and old lady's piss

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:18, archived)

It smells like that in the stairs in all the car parks in Darling Harbour

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:21, archived)

HAHAHA

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:18, archived)

PLEASE VACATE THIS SEAT FOR THE ELDERLY AND DISABLED

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:20, archived)

That sign is above Royal Doulton s-bends and bowls everywhere...

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:45, archived)

Pffft!

And hat farts now.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:20, archived)

(

connor, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:22, archived)

*grins*

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:24, archived)

let's hope this one works properly

k i'm sick of hotlinking the image
ruletheweb.co.uk/b3ta/bus/eNpFzVsOwiAUBNCt3LACXtL0sgYXcUFqSXg00GqMce8Wf8x8zskMocZ3RGE7KoHsWhdaCTK9YKVHXDBfUz0abK26FHJnNqI8qZyRUbnBGuAZU4K-U9tPnLdEscRyH1CdUBhk-bf5z-j0-JPIHDeG-0kEydVi9KTNxS0zl5PzggdnmP18AcSzMsw,/bus.jpg

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:25, archived)

I have different tattoos now that I'm older...

(

Art101 You all have an unhealthy and morbid fascination, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 5:57, archived)

hahah

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:18, archived)

aaaaaahhaahhah

I don't just like this, I identify with it!
Just glad I don't have a bald spot.. yet

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:18, archived)

I can sense a comb over coming on...

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:19, archived)

bert newton wig time?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:20, archived)

Teh Bert!

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:23, archived)

There's only one person who could get away with the Riff-Raff look

AND THAT WAS RICHARD O'BRIEN, IN 1975

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:37, archived)

and Christopher Walken perhaps

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:47, archived)

ahhhahhah

yeah, probably.
He pulled off the long stringy hair thing in Envy rather admirably

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:02, archived)

my younger brother already has some grey hairs & is losing a bit on top

but not me :)

(

Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:42, archived)

HAHA

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:19, archived)

HAHAHA!

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:21, archived)

Still can't afford clothes though:P

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:54, archived)

Yes, I did the F'ing chicken

Sorry, i logged off to go watch Australia's Next Top Model, we don't get so many good shows on the sad cable system here in Sweden, so I taped it, and now they are down to three, getting competitive in there. Been in Sweden now for 6 years, after 20 in LA, so quite a culture shock still.

Any questions on technique for the chicken be glad to answer.

d

(Catnipppp, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:10, archived)

hhahhhahhhhaa

(

Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:11, archived)

They Live!

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 5:01, archived)

quickly post a picture you haven't posted before in your post

using the edit button.

:D

but for technique.. I think my question is this;

How?

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:11, archived)

How?

Did a pencil sketch, only a pencil will give you the energy and lines, then scanned it in. Photographed my kitchen from a low angle, the floor was from the sketch, just traced those lines. Thawed out a chicken, snapped shots of it from various lighting by the window, the wings and breasts and legs, but since i had no feet, found them with a google search. The face was from the drawing, lifted the red beard off of a pic of a rooster, and the pupils from google. Took the shots of the breast and simply cut and pasted them to fit my drawing, smoothing out all the bugs with the tool, uhhh, the duplicating tool, whatever that is called. Showed it to a buddy and he suggested the background blurring, which gives it a nice 3D quality, detailing and color balancing, done.\

(Catnipppp, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:20, archived)

yeah?

what colour is it?

( that will mean nothing to you so goodnight ) ;)

chin up fella.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:26, archived)

What did you do with the chicken afterwards?

And whereabouts in Svenska are you?

Bork bork bork!

(

Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:27, archived)

Put the chicken in my pants

I live in Jönköping, pronounced (yun-shup-ping) southern central part next to the great lake called vattern.

Svenska means Swedish, in swedish

Svierge means Sweden in swedish, pronounced Svear-yea

(Catnipppp, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 5:11, archived)

THIS IS NOT HOW WE ROLL

Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:12, archived)

perhaps he could tell me where to buy a pair of shoes

or perhaps some of the reasonably priced viagras.

(

Foxglove -- it all ends in tears anyway..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:25, archived)

"satire"

this is from the Anti-Defamation League, on the first page of google results:
www.adl.org/main_Extremism/David_Dees.htm

although so far his only crime in my eyes is being a bit of a dick

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:56, archived)

Your observation, perhaps even should be elevated to a law, vis JollyJack comes to mind.

www.b3ta.com/board/8789643

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 5:06, archived)

i have no idea what you wrote

but this isn't worth its own thread. Thank you for filling my need to post something tonight.

(

Foxglove -- it all ends in tears anyway..., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:24, archived)

NSFW

=-0

(ganainm, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 8:09, archived)

(

connor, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:34, archived)

tell me the truth! now tell me a lie! etc.

also: I bought Tonight: Franz Ferdinand yesterday and it is lovely

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:39, archived)

aye

it's pretty nifty

(

connor, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:44, archived)

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:35, archived)

Australia's next top model? ahahaha oh deaaaaaaar

edit: by the way, i didn't mean to accuse it's just that i remember a torrent of abuse, suggestions you weren't who you said you were etc. I don't like people nicking images, but as it's yours it was very nicely done.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 5:14, archived)

What did you use for the neck?

(

Art101 You all have an unhealthy and morbid fascination, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:06, archived)

GAY PORN

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 6:19, archived)

Yaaaaaawn

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bod_(TV_series)
For johnny foreigner ^^^^
.FFS he ahd a funny walk

(

Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:25, archived)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

where is this text on a bus generator?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:30, archived)

links board

www.b3ta.com/links/Bus_slogan_generator

hotlink the fuck out of his server and break the fucker

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:30, archived)

*hhahhhahhahhhhhhhha

hotlinks...break server.....hhahhhahha GOGOGO

(

Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:39, archived)

FUCKING SMASH IT ALL TO SHIT

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:39, archived)

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:44, archived)

(

Ratsta, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 5:05, archived)

dos attack?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:48, archived)

Better still

write a script to ddos that and the Obama poster generator at the same time. After the HIDE DRUG version it should have been shut down anyway, it's not going to get any better than that.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:40, archived)

theres probably noone reading

so turn off the computer and go to bed!

/i'm going to bed because i'm drunk blog

(

Sonic 2 and Knuckles, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:30, archived)

*drunk also

b3ta much funnier when drunk

(

Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:37, archived)

(

epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:41, archived)

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:44, archived)

this got clicked

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:46, archived)

looks like highland dancing...

Have a pea

(Scott_ish got this sig out of a crackerjack box on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:51, archived)

*laughs up a lung

hahhahhhahhhahhhahhhahhhhahhh

(

Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:11, archived)

BOD !

Off to work...

(

Tepid_Halibut felt like a cold, empty shell of a human...until, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 7:30, archived)

I took some pictures tonight!

cfb

(Scott_ish got this sig out of a crackerjack box on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:10, archived)

you got on the set of the live action akira then?

:P

*can't believe that's actually getting made*

*still not as bad as spielberg doing oldboy*

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:13, archived)

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

they are doing another Akira? only not anime?

(Scott_ish got this sig out of a crackerjack box on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:14, archived)

yah

americans.

imdb has the due date as feb 2011

going to be 2 part film based on the mangas.. 3 books per film (going on the dark horse black and white releases)

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:16, archived)

I dunno though..

Akira.. in New Manhattan.. and they're changing the names... So, Alex... in New Manhattan...

"Kenneeeetthhhh!"
"Treeevoooorrrrr!!"

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:15, archived)

Soup

(Catnipppp, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:04, archived)

I love how your images mix

both real stuff and shopped so headfucking skillfully.

well done. :)

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:05, archived)

TJ: For Tahkcalb

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:52, archived)

OH YEAH!

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:54, archived)

oooh I know this one

yours wins because of the straps though... and it's no doubt older

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:05, archived)

Must have been warmer that day.

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:09, archived)

different lenses, innit

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:12, archived)

CHICKEN RUN! CHICKENEY SOUP!

squaks!!

(

--- ---, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:05, archived)

wow

(

epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:09, archived)

is this yours?

edit: seems so. nicely.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:10, archived)

unless he's actually dan dees..

as he's posted loads of that stuff i'm pretty sure.. apologies if i'm mistaken

(SillyShits, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:17, archived)

pasanonic says he is

although when prodge asked him to draw something of his devicing *i assume to see if it is him and can produce things of this standard to a random specification* he reacted badly.. so I dunno

but that could easily be irritation at constantly getting questioned on whether something is your own work..

my jury is still out.. but I'm a kind soul so I've decided on innocent till proven guilty.. it's a crazy system I know.. but I do tend to be a maverick in these matters :P

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:20, archived)

Yes, this, hence the lack of swearing and abuse in my post.

did pasanonic get an email back from david dees confirming that he is catnippp?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:25, archived)

well what he said was

it's either him or this fellow has access to his emails.

so i guess so.

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arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:32, archived)

I would feel bad about believing the pictures arnt his based on nothing but circumstantial evidence but Im sure as a new world order truther he will appreciate the irony

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Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:30, archived)

(SillyShits, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:53, archived)

it took me 5 attempts at reading your sentence before i understood it

now i stands under

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arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:03, archived)

The only thing I can say for sure is that

When I mailed David Dees at the mail given on his website that this chap responded and from that response it certainly is his email.
He does not help himself by not being too responsive when challenged.
Considering that some of the artwork is professional, commissioned material for publication covers I'd at least expect him to get a bit indignant if told he's not the artist. I know I certainly would. I see my arse if someone shouts 'filter' at me because I really don't think that throwing a google image through filters 30 times is any kind of effort or talent.
I'm giving him the benefit simply because there is enough shit flying around right now without some other poor kid getting battered because it's de riguer right now.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:32, archived)

Pasanonic in diplomacy shock

our news at 2:33.

eDIT: also.. MIND PISSS!!! :p

EDIT EDIT: I'm also now trying to devise a system that could make "I see my arse when someone shouts 'filtered'" a reality.

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:33, archived)

hehe.

'seeing your arse' is perhaps too local a phrase to use internationally. We say it in the North West to indicate that something has annoyed you.
Also when someone starts to throw a strop a good question is "what colour is it?" and when they look at you nonplussed you continue "your arse, you've obviously seen it."

I've seen my arse actually. My web server went down today losing me a shitload of stuff and after getting that fixed my internet went down and I've just managed to figure out my wireless router is fucked :/

It's brown.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:43, archived)

mine is surrounded in a bizarre toxic glow

yay for ginger body hair!

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arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:48, archived)

ok well then I'm pretty cool with it.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:36, archived)

not that I've seen anything in the way of talent or inspiration from you either, you fuck

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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:57, archived)

^this

Unless he posts a link to the original psd or similar, I'll bet its not.

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BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:24, archived)

Actually, anything other than a cold image.

May have the dreaded skillzless wankery going on.

Make a crudely drawn cock for us! Hahaha!

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Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:32, archived)

HAHAHA

I've done it

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:53, archived)

And now I have, next!

(

Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:06, archived)

DANCE COCK DANCE!

(

BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:21, archived)

Funny chicken

This is a funny picture of a chicken

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Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:34, archived)

It is funny.

And it is a chicken.

(Monocromatico Lady Godiva's horse, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:42, archived)

Response

Yes it is a funny chicken

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Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:48, archived)

awesome

(

Bloop Fri 16 Jul, 22:10, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:46, archived)

top effort!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:47, archived)

aye

top quality!

(SillyShits, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:56, archived)

MAGIC!

not a lot...just a little magic. That's all they'll need.

(

--- ---, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 1:48, archived)

Paul Daniels!

Every ones favourite master of the dark arts.

you've also given me an idea for a shop...

(

arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 1:49, archived)

If its a shop that sells magic tricks they have those already im afraid :(

(

Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 1:54, archived)

SHAZAM!

(

--- ---, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:00, archived)

Not quite

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arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:04, archived)

pfft!

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deodar ant trois minutes douche compris, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:16, archived)

Hahaha

I wish I'd thought of that :)

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:10, archived)

I should get wysiwyg* on the book

*raiding long distant childhood memories*

*EDIT: google corrects what memories fail at

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arrangedletters, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:18, archived)

MOI? JE SUIS LES EMPORER

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Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 1:53, archived)

yikes!

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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 1:57, archived)

magic!

(

Bloop Fri 16 Jul, 22:10, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:49, archived)

it's a kind of magic.

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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:08, archived)

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