Evening /talkers
How the devil are we? I've missed a glorious weekend of sun and fun to be at work, the joy. Tomorrow and Tuesday better make up for it!

What have we been doing all weekend? Upsetting Geordies perhaps?

In other news, I have made a fabulous return to my old name by popular demand - like when Coco Pops became Choco Krispies etc. What have you done by popular demand?
( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

I've been creating a flea circus.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

With real fleas glued to little circus type things?

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

i've always wondered how you get the face paint on the tiny flea clowns

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

i haven't been on here for about a week or so
have i missed anything exciting?
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

Tis a rare day I actually read the boards anymore.
It feels like a small part of me has died.
( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)

*something about your 'small parts'*
i've found things in the real world keep me occupied more nowadays
like looking for a job
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

You missed the conception of THE LIST.
Or maybe you didn't actually.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

I just watched Mirrors.
T'was not bad.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

this

( ArthurTheRat, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

Easty.
Sexy, ginger, Easty.
( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

Guilty as charged.

( ArthurTheRat, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

Yes you are.

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

:D

( ArthurTheRat, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

i want to get hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, so hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

Epic fail?

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

ello deary

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

Tonight Matthew.
I'm going to be James Cunt.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

that works for you

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

Wish I could say the same for you.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

ermm ok?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

GIVE US A NEW JIMZ STORY!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

by 'us' you mean 'you'
one day Jimz, one day
not this night, it's too humid
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

No, the OTHERS were asking for it the other night.
Honest!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

ah, i shall consult Parfuss
btw the Xenonet servers were rebooted last day, so if your ip unsynced just tab the UNT button on your Zcom router.
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

*salutes*
So I shall!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

Tab twice for reboot, thrice for un-result on ip if downgraded from the 5.3 IOS.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)

i wish to discuss the 'gold standard'

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

You can continue your discussion
here.
( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

i'm guessing you're homosexual

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

I'm guessing you're a cunt.

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)

Kids, kids! You're both right.

( ArthurTheRat, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

that's right

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

I'm scared.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)

Hold me.

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

*holds*

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

A Greasemonkey idiot-filter for b3ta.
Which reminds me, I still need to do some work on it.

There wasn't a great deal of demand, but it's proved popular among the folk testing it.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Isn't that what 'Ignore' was invented for?

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

It's more selective, it just replaces things like "rofl", "teh" or "lulz" with more intelligent and/or amusing alternatives.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

Worthwhile.
l u l z
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)

Indeed.
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/37452/1243812617/filter.jpg
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

Excellent.
You have become Robin Johnson, only worse.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)

Next you'll write one to correct common typos and grammatical errors.
A sad day indeed.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

ps
IuIz
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

remember to use textcontext instead of innerHTML
lol

and make sure it's not case sensitive RofL
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

[picard ascii]

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

There was a loud crash, shrieking and then crying from the woman in the flat above half an hour ago.
I've since been up to see if she was alright - she bumped over her big 37 inch tv and it's broken.

Internet loves a question, so here's mine: Is it okay to quietly chuckle to myself about this, as she sits up until 2-3am most nights with the tv blaring and it sometimes keeps me up?
I sort of feel bad, but i know it will be peaceful for a day or two (I hope!).
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:09, archived)

I think it's acceptable to laugh because it wasn't yours.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:10, archived)

I've met you and everything

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

What a fucking idiot.
She deserves no TV.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

she totally deserves it
in fact i hope she dies
( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

I think that's a sentiment we can all get behind.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:12, archived)

!!
Is it militant Sunday, or are these real feelings?
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

Just checked my Church Calendar.
Militant Sunday isn't until October, so I guess they must be real feelings.
( Lord Gnome, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

if it were up to me i'd have the whole building demolished out of spite

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

i don't tjimk laughing at others misfourtunes is an internet thing, but it it is a sad thing
everyone can see the same thing but nobody see's it like me
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

every experiance is your own, no offence

( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

Well I for one think you should kill that bitch right in the face.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

yeah!
I'm too drunk to contribut I'm afraid bbq's do this to me.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

Hello
it was very nice to meet you.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

see above where I said a similar thing,
Yeah you seem like a "pretty cool guy" you can publish that on a flyer. Like a review for a west end show.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

You drink barbecues?

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

I'm hot stuff,
actually writing that made me feel dirty, ignore that, it makes me seem like a cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:17, archived)

I'd just like to echo Lightguy's sentiments.
Hoping she dies too, here.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

I hope her whole family dies and her house burns down

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

Rub her face in the broken glass of the screen.
Then punch her in the cunt for being such a careless whore.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

Why is everyone going easy on her?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

I've been taking out my anger by shooting bastard pigeons that just won't fuck off.
My rage is channelled elsewhere.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:22, archived)

I'd really like a punching bag right now.
It's sunday night, I reakon if I venture into town I might find stuff worth punching
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

You evil, evil person.
Evil.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:17, archived)

:(

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

Does she watch those shitty gameshows in th early hours of the morning?
She sounds like the type who watches them.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

I think so.
It all sounds like jingles and phone line adverts, like those after midnight roulette things.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

She's a cunt, you're not evil.
Sorted.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

Phew!

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

It's fine laughing at that.
It's not as if anyone was hurt and she'll most likely have insurance to cover accidental damage.
( Lord Gnome, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:17, archived)

Let's hope so, those big tvs are pricey.
Then again, maybe cheaper ones aren't as loud
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

It's not as if it's your money.
Why should you care? There have been plenty of things my neighbours- and previous ones- have done that have annoyed the fuck out of me. I can honestly say that at times I couldn't care less if they had suddenly died.
( Lord Gnome, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

It's her only vice really.
Otherwise she is okay, and even let me use her garage when I got furniture delivered.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

Grab her vagina on both sides and tear it open like you're ripping up a thick newspaper.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

Errr, i'll not bother, if it's all the same to you.

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:22, archived)

batter her unconcious with a burning cactus then kick a biro down her ear

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

she'll miss the repeat of that documentary about Tourettes

( scott,, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

I love the bit where he swears!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

Shit inside a bag and set it alight outside her door then ring the bell, right.
Then, when she answers the door, punch her in her fucking stupid fat face and gouge her eyeballs out with your fingers.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

wear her as a hat

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

Sneak into her flat when she's out right.
And cover her toilet bowl with cling film. Then hide in a nearby wardrobe right. When she looks like she's about to take a shit, right, jump out of the wardrobe and bludgeon her to death with a rolling pin until you can see her brain through her skull.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

smash a hole in her head with a tyre iron then inject boiling horse piss into her cerebellum

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

Rape every member of her family. Especially the dead ones.
Then do a Stone Cold Stunner on her cat.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

Surgically turn her earholes into arseholes so she shits all over her best top

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

It sounds like a result
You did the right thing, by being caring and supportive - and for this you have been rewarded with a little less annoyance for a wee while.
A good result.
( gaijintendo Regular Member, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

Poor TV :(

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

Spend several months befriending her and invite her over to dinner every couple of weeks.
Sneak increasing quantities of faeces into her meals until, at one point, she is presented with a plate completely full of shit. When she protests, smother her with it, smash the plate over her head then slit her throat with the shattered crockery.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

What if she just wolfs it down?
I've clicked that by the way.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

stick a rat up her fanny and kick her down a flight of concrete steps

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

Hahaha fuck
*click*
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

Throw a cotton bud
at her.
( Black Moon Not cracked, I'm all up to be., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

throw her into a cement mixer full of broken glass and rusty barbed wire

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

certainly is humid tonight

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

Fill an empty LCD TV box full of asbestos and give it to her as a gift.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

Set up a swinging axe in the corridor that is triggered when her door opens.
If you have done this correctly and are blessed with a little bit of luck, when she next leaves the flat the axe will be embedded securely into her cranium.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

It seems to be a good night for drama.
After enduring a colleague's incompetence for far too long, my boss finally snapped and sent him home. And I just walked past a domestic row a few doors up, in which the fella was yelling "You want to be an 'oor? Be an 'oor. FUCK OFF."
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Was there any bludgeoning?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:46, archived)

Not that I could tell.
Though as he was bloody furious, it may well be on the way.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

I'm sure it's Domestic Sunday.
Two fights broke out on my street a few hours ago. 3 police cars turned up and an ambulance.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

Have you got my randomburn yet?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

Not yet.
Does it contain UB40?
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

Ahh that's probably because I haven't compiled or sent one.
I was kind of hoping the postman had made one.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Can I not just give you some money for a UB40 album?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Nah, I fucking hate UB40
I wont be offended online if you don't do a randomburn!
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

I will probably end up doing one out of guilt.
I've received 3 already, which is a 50% improvement on last year.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

Let's all be lovely for a thread
Oh Gilgamesh, your eyes are positively sparkling today
( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

Oh Friz
What a gorgeous, slim face you have.
( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:36, archived)

Oh clendrix! What a noticeable b3tan you are!

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

I blend in so well
that the internet thinks I'm a man.
( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

no it's the beard that does it.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

That and the cock photos in the profile.

( Lord Gnome, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

I'd give all of you a quick death
rather than dragging it out over a period of months
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

look everyone this is the mean comment, it's charged with funny, oh it's great, look it special aswell as it is over egging the whole thing with the death of us all, by a forum poster
great
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

I'm going to take up smoking
just so I can stub out fag ends on your bivvy
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

that would be really mean, but i'll sleep easy as your vitoral is just a post on an online forum
banter times
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:51, archived)

It may even be popular paged, because it is breaking the norm

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

I'm talking to an offline girl about food
THIS IS A CONFUSING SITUATION.
( SuperMatt, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

What is JMGs opinion?

( SuperMatt, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

It better be about her doing the dishes after.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 23:09, archived)

*says mean things*

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

this is going to be funny, because someone will be anti it, forum banter

( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

I do hope your rash clears up

( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

Fuck off Friz.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

I hope you die.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

This isn't really being lovely, is it Nips?

( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:46, archived)

It's lovely for everyone other than Friz or Dave.
Nobody likes them.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

Nobody.

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:49, archived)

Not even themselves.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:51, archived)

This is true and online

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:52, archived)

I'm always lovely.
*blinks innocently*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

Snakes on a plane is fucking brilliant.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

What's it about?

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

Komodo dragons on a helicopter.
With Samuel L Jackson
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:41, archived)

I preferred Planes on a Snake

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:41, archived)

/woodworking blog

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

What a lovely day we have had today.
Sunny and beautiful.

Also, what a gorgeous fuckton of homebrew I have polished off today.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

Friz, you have a lovely fat face, like Gary Wilmot's.

( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:49, archived)

DAMN STRAIGHT

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:50, archived)

I'm nearing the end of No Country for Old Men.
It's a good film.
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:52, archived)

^this
Have you noticed the almost entire lack of music and how it adds to the bleak desertscapes?

Cohen brothers are clever boys.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:56, archived)

You're about to be very disappointed.

( nick the greek, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:57, archived)

I wasn't.

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:58, archived)

TWIST: The main character turns out to be Hitler

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

Enough is enough!
I've had enough of these motherfuckin' positive threads on this motherfuckin' board.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:02, archived)

I have been reading B3ta too long.
Been lurking for several years now, mostly catching the front page and image challenges. Recently I discovered the QOTW so I've been going through those like an octogenarian ex-marine on cialis in a Vietnamese brothel.

Today on my way to Sunday services, I found my internal monologue had had its vocabulary expanded to include "chuffed" "taking the piss" "did [personal pronoun] fuck" as well as others. I was at once bemused and mortified. I live south of the Mason-Dixon and east of the Mississippi, and such talk would earn blank stares in the most worldly of company, and accusations of "puttin' on airs" most everywhere else.

I've daydreamed forever about leaving the states and moving abroad, guess now I have yet another destination so that my inner-blinkin doesn't feel out of place...

first post on talk, be gentle
(blinkin the merrily misanthropic IT gremlin, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:57, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/
( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:57, archived)

D'oh!

(blinkin the merrily misanthropic IT gremlin, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

Too late
they've adopted you guys now
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:00, archived)

Fuck off, vectortits

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:02, archived)

BOOM!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

HEADSHOT!

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

Ouch
Play nicely Friz.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:04, archived)

Oh get to fuck

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

FEEL THE BURN!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:06, archived)

yes I laughed at that,
but be nice fat face becky's lovely
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

She's called Fat Face Becky now?

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

I should have put a comma,,,

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

"be nice, fat face becky's lovely"

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

be nice fatface cushings sufferer friz.
Becky is lovely.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

So I have to be nice ALL THE TIME? To EVERYONE? Just because Becky is lovely?

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

NO

( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

Oh thank fuck for that

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

just be nice to people I like,
that's a pretty short list.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 23:16, archived)

Since when was someone being lovely
And people being nice to them on b3ta ever linked?
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

SINCE NOW!!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

I see

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

british website, we use british terms
do you like bingo? i love bingo


bingo?
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:58, archived)

Who won the bingo, Mongy?

( magnum, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

vlad won, but he doesn't want his prize
great times, top prizes
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

Good stuff
all well, fight the power.
( magnum, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

Not complaining
It's a nice change of perspective. Most of the rest of my link trawling is on US centric websites.

Bingo? No thanks, never got the hang of it.
(blinkin the merrily misanthropic IT gremlin, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

no offence, or, not, no offence
great forum
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:06, archived)

This confused the fuck out of me.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

merkin being so fragile in thier own self that when they go abroad for a day they return talking in an accent
god i hate people who do that
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:00, archived)

Needs more bingo.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

2 weeks for the next bingo
you can keep your card or apply for a new one, good luck
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

I think I'll keep my card, I had some good numbers.
Top calling.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

Aww I won't be around for it
:(
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:08, archived)

saturday13th of june
next bingo, eyes down
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

I know when 2 weeks away is...
I shall be camping and away from the comfort of a computer - eep. Heh.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

good for you, i can plan due to stuff and that
there will be more bingo, it's be a great forum time
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:16, archived)

I don't know how that happens,
I can't pick up accents even when I want to. I can't even pick up my own accent, let alone anybody else's.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

sorry, I got bored halfway through that
I like breasts though. Do you like breasts?

I think breasts are ACE.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:02, archived)

Don't forget FANNYBAGS.

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

FUNDRUMS.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

SHOULDERBOULDERS

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

I think you meant [personal pronoun] rather than [indefinite article]
because there's no other reason to type all that just to represent the letter "a".
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:10, archived)

Yes, I R Dubm.

(blinkin the merrily misanthropic IT gremlin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

See also
What ho - What's up
Golly - No way!
Blimey can also be used to alert others to your surprise at their tale
( Mrs Sp@m, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:10, archived)

Welcome to talk
don't take anything personally

*bums*
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:17, archived)

in a similar manner, after reading many american websites i now say things like "darn varmint!", throw my hat to the gound and shoot my revolvers into the air when angered

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

I just break down in tears and cry about a bad september eight years ago

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

The first ten days were pretty awesome

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:36, archived)

wasn't the 10th the International Jenga Semi-finals?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

Oh shit
I lol'd on the inside
(blinkin the merrily misanthropic IT gremlin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

That's how we say hello round these parts

(blinkin the merrily misanthropic IT gremlin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

que?

( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

Hello Internet.
You know me. I love it when you all fall out with each other, with your big fat woe. The way your past real life issues that you discussed online are brought up and talked about freely by people either built like warehouses or by cyber tough men built like 11 year old girls.
Can we have a bit more of that, please? I could then really begin to market you people. There's cash to be made.

We haven't had a real stroppy tantrum in quite some time. At least a proper one with tears and divisions in the THE INTERNET INCREDIBLY SERIOUS CLUB.
Just for one. Deliver on this request. I deserve your actions, I better you people.



Yours etc,
JMG. Popular Internet Leader.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:45, archived)

Vote JMG.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:45, archived)

*cross in box*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

*cross at JMG*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

Haha!
YES!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

I might do some mariokart in a minute.
In other news, I am considering adapting MongyChops' Dull Thread Bingo for Facebook or Twitter.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:49, archived)

mariokart?
what about milkkart?
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:07, archived)

What about Milky Bars?

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

They're on me

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

i don't do face book so go for it
but there will be more b3ta bingo, it was a succes, even if i can't give a prize away to the winner, not my fault i think people may not want me to know their address, or not, next time, great prizes
( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

Pfft

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:49, archived)

I am drinking Pepsi Max, JMG
With ICE.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

I have a mini-bar in the room I'm currently situated.
There's 35 cans in the baby fridge.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:48, archived)

Swap them all with bricks
Down the lot.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:56, archived)

a special fridge for keeping babies in?
why didn't I think of that?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:01, archived)

maybe b3ta has reached it middle aged years
and can't really be arsed with the bickering anymore.
( jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:48, archived)

Let's all turn our dressing gowns inside out
And pretend we're wearing smoking jackets.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:49, archived)

You dont have a smoking jacket?

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:50, archived)

I prefer to wear a silk cape instead
Then I stand on the garden funiture during a high wind, looking windswept and triumphant.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:57, archived)

Its good being 30+
You finally loose that need to pick on little details and reach a much happier place with yourself.

/very satisfied midlifer.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:49, archived)

yes
I'm 31. I find I really can't be arsed with bickers anymore.
( jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:56, archived)

b kn
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:57, archived)

them too

( jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:58, archived)

You might not be arsed with bickers
But what about biccies?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:00, archived)

always room for biccies

( jenpots, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:12, archived)

Crunch Creams FTW

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

Chocolate hobnobs
are my favourites. Those or jaffa cakes.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:45, archived)

THIS FUCKING THIS

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

Chocolate hob nobs are great
but are jaffa ckaes really biscuits?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

Don't start that again.
I believe it's a VAT dodge.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:08, archived)

I'm enjoying a Sunday evening Corona
What beverage is our lord and master enjoying?
( SuperMatt, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:52, archived)

I don't do much alcohol at home.
But if I'm out and about I'm not against a JD and coke with ice.
I also prefer my football beer bottled.

Another insight.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:55, archived)

As you provide more and more of these insights
the internet may try to mimic your life as a way to become more popular.
Do you think this will work?
( SuperMatt, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:56, archived)

I can already imagine 90nz0's shaving his forehead.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:58, archived)

Lies!
He'll never be rid of his Jewfro.
( SuperMatt, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:00, archived)

The fat tears stopped when you went gay, Jammers
you don't threaten the masculinity of the board any more
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:53, archived)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:58, archived)

JMG, yes, hello

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:54, archived)

Friz etc!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:59, archived)

Who would you be marketing us to?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:56, archived)

SCIENCE

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:58, archived)

*scares*

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:00, archived)

*probes*
NOTE: SUBJECT APPEARS TO HAVE THREE MINGES.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

This is a valid question.
What WOULD Pickle Fairy's target demographic be?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:58, archived)

the same as Lurpak's, probably

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:59, archived)

Could you not have chosen a nice fatty food?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:01, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:07, archived)

What?
I'd like to be marketed to people like donuts or something, not lurpak.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

people like donuts

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:10, archived)

Jammy could be marketed to people like donuts.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:10, archived)

Please tell me your political beliefs!
PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:02, archived)

Think 'Animal Farm'
Except JMG is one of the pigs and the sheep are sat at computers, bleating about World of Whalecraft.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:14, archived)

4 orcs good, 2 orcs bad.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

That's a Level 75 response, right there
*other fat terminology*
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!
edit: it's STILL hilariously sad
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

Fucking hell
I know at least one person who does this as well.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

JMG, I had an odd dream last night.
In which I fell out with you here, and as a consequence everyone on /talk blocked me. Every time I looked at it there was just a blank screen.

Would you care to give some sort of Freudian analysis?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:20, archived)

I had a dream I ate a 10 pound marshmallow.
I woke up in a pool of my own vomit.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

When you woke up
Was your pillow there?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

I got bored of that last thread quite quickly
I say bored, I was actually distracted by a guitar synth plugged into Cubase with half the strings triggering a Moog Modular and the rest triggering ARP2600s and MiniMoogs.

Then my CPU overheated and the machine rebooted. And I had to change my underwear.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

Guitar synth and strings plugged into cubase sounds sexy.

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

yes, until your machine locks up and the soundcard spazzes out and just goes SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE at full volume

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:30, archived)

Yeh, annoying.
You running some sort of external soundcard?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

it's a PCI one, Terratec DMX-something

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:41, archived)

Gotcha,
I bought an external jobby with phantom power for my mics, midi and all that jazz. Pretty good really, still can't get it to sound professional mind.

Hoping to go to a proper studio over the summer and record.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:43, archived)

I've got a vague plan to do live shows with the guitar synth
so I might just get a laptop and a USB sound module

then wait for it to crash and go SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE through a P.A.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

get yourself a massive heatsink

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:47, archived)

I've got one
but I didn't want to fit it, it sounds like a jet engine

what's good for silent-ish cooling?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

buckets of water

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

Just throw the water on, make sure the mains is on too.
It makes the cooling work better.

Don't know about cooling i'm afraid, my pc has a fecking massive noisy fan in it which makes it sound like a hoover when it is doing stuff.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

I've got a Scythe Ninja 2 in this machine,
you can run it without a fan on it if your CPU is relatively low power. I've also fitted an OCZ Vendetta II before, that's quite good. I'm just about to take delivery of an Akasa AK 920-2, which is getting good reviews despite being fairly cheap, so I'll let you know how that turns out.

What processor have you got?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

Core Duo something or other, dunno, it's written on the box
I really need SILENT cooling for it for home recording purposes
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

A Scythe Ninja ought to be able to cope with a Core 2 Duo,
you can usually set the BIOS up to run the fan at variable speed as well. I'm assuming the PC case has fans in it as well?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:58, archived)

yup, switched off that Q-fan crapola, case is old and stuffed with hard drives so that needs replacing too
I'll go and shovel some more money into Micro Direct next week
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:00, archived)

You'll want a case that'll take 120mm fans all round,
the bigger the fan, the slower it needs to spin, so 120mm is now the quiet computing standard. You can get gaming cases with 240mm fans in the side, but that's just daft.

Scythe and Noctua do the best fans, you're looking at £12-14 each.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

trane chillers

( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

Sorry to disappoint JMG
Some of us went to meet some people from /board last night and we all got on very well indeed. Much alcohol and fried chicken was consumed.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:27, archived)

According to some, I was going to beat Becky up.
Then fake an asthma attack.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

I am still amused by this. As is Becky I think.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

How are you feeling?
I'm just a bit bleurrgghhh.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:40, archived)

Headachy, tired and my knees REALLY hurt.
Why do my knees hurt? Were you hitting them whilst I slept?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:45, archived)

Not guilty.
I blame all those underground stairs.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

I'm not sure who decided you were going to beat me up
but I heard rumours of it on the night, but thought nothing of it seeing as it would have been a bit lame.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

Hello.
It was lovely to meet you yesterday. It's always good to put a face to a name and also to find out that everyone is so nice and friendly.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

It was lovely meeting you as well
*is total fangirl*
sorry I made a bit of a tit of myself talking to you.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

It was really nice chatting to you and devil in tights.
You've nothing to apologise for, I may have been a little drunk myself : )
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:07, archived)

It's amazing how sweaty internet men get caught up in this sort of thing.
I bet they had a stash of jelly knocking about somewhere Just In Case.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:57, archived)

I have no doubt
and a paddling pool prefilled with mud if the jelly wasn't just right ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:02, archived)

i can't wait to hold another bingo session, it worked, great times

( mongychops, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:47, archived)

I have nothing to add JMG,
I just want to be a part of this.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

ok, I know this is is a long shot
But i've googled and searched and it's not worked.
It's taken me 10 attempts to boot my laptop up since i installed vista sp2. Can't find any reason why. I haven't installed any dodge games recently, All i have d/l'ed is tv series in avi format.
What could i have done wrong? you can't hide a naughty exe within an avi, can you?

For the majority that don't care:
Which vegetable is best?
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:44, archived)

Stephen Hawking

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:45, archived)

are you blaming him for my laptop probs?

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

yeah sure, why not

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:47, archived)

and
when you say it won't boot, how far does it get?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:49, archived)

the bar that suggests it's loading, But i let it go for half an hour
and nothing happened.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:50, archived)

tried safe mode?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

when are you going to tell him about the cream?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:54, archived)

it lets me go intosafe mode, then tries to go to a restore point, but never gets there.
no worries, think best bet is to back up my downloads to an external, then just restore to factory settings.
I just wondered if anyone was in the same boat and it seems not. cheers anyway.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:54, archived)

Unplug it for about 30 minutes right.
Then go and buy a new PC and plug that in and it should be fine.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

hur steven hawking hur hur

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:45, archived)

TOO SLOW FATSO

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

I won on presentation
greg and john would have tutted at the way you sloshed your cripples into a desert bowl
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:48, archived)

I am quite partial to parsnips
but carrots are awesome as is cucumber.
( Mrs Sp@m, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:45, archived)

He wasn't asking about your sex toys

( broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

I'm partial to the occasional courgette.
but i couldn't tolerate them on a daily basis
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:47, archived)

I once got pricked by spines in a courgette
but no one will believe me they have spines
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:50, archived)

Dunno
tried booting in safe mode & running anti virus / spyware etc?

Vegetables are rubbish.
( broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

Was it a base install straight into SP2, or was it as part of a Windows Update?
After I installed it from WU it took ages to boot the first 2 or 3 times, now it seems OK. Can't help further, sorry. Bad times.

Who won the bingo?
( magnum, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

update.
worked fine up to thursday, been as much use as an aubergine since. On old desktop now.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:48, archived)

taters

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

wotcher foulmouth

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:49, archived)

this is a doomed vendetta

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

I haven't even started yet.
Even if it's just me, at least my voice has been heard. shitbag. :)
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:56, archived)

oh it is on

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:01, archived)

yer goin daaaahn.
and not in a friendly way.
(although it may take several weeks as I'm incredibly lazy and very design conscious)
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

building up your dossier eh
we'll see we'll see
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

Stephen Carrotkins

( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

Can't help with the laptop problem.
Also I can't decide between mushrooms and spinach
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:48, archived)

The answer is always 'both'

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:50, archived)

Good, I'll have both then.

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:54, archived)

mushrooms with pasta
spinach with sailors.

I'ts easy, innit
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

I eat a fair bit of pasta,
but I can't say I've had many sailors....
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:56, archived)

SBS
that's all i'm saying..... hehe
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

Well I suppose one is enough.

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

I would've helped you if you hadn't spelled 'naughty' like an utter spastic

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:48, archived)

..and written "noes".

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:49, archived)

nah, he might be in the Goldie Lookin' Chain
safe, braw
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:53, archived)

the way I type is no concern of yours.
It aint easy with a head dobber y'know;sfkuzglskvb
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:58, archived)

TOMATO

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:49, archived)

Oh god, someone is going to have a go about how that's a fruit now. Like Moohalaa.
I mean he's a fruit, not that he's going to get all sweaty over a fruit/veg faux pas.
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:51, archived)

Onions.
No question.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

sounds like a failing hard drive (mine worked on/off for 2 weeks before totally crashing)
if you successfully boot up again then back up all your stuff whilst it works or you'll lose it
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

Broccoli is yummy
/ac
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

vista is shit
stick XP on
( CowJam, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:38, archived)

This
I hope Windows 7 is the vast improvement it's marketed as.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:48, archived)

I went sea kayaking today...
conditions were perfect

what has you lot been up to?

(kayak pr()n - my boat is hot)
( custard, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:29, archived)

seeking a yak

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:31, archived)

I knew a man we called Yak a few years ago. He was odd.
He had big hair. Are you seeking him?
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:33, archived)

does he have big rocks?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:34, archived)

He's got a Whole Lotta Rowsie.

( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:36, archived)

Did you also meet Wakko and Dot?

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:39, archived)

No.
Pay attention to me.

Edit: Bollocks. This was meant for Friz.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

Giving attention here.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:33, archived)

False alarm.
Sorry.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:33, archived)

Wait, what?

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:40, archived)

I think it was a subtle reference to how you look like you have snooker balls in your cheeks.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:40, archived)

Ocelot fishing.

( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

hide and seakayaking

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

Oooh, that is pretty.
I miss the sea.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

Flat tidying
walking along the beach perving at all the bare boobies
now working :/
( broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

Did you find any of
These?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

Nope
we occasionally see a pod of dolphins, but nothing bigger than that
( custard, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:36, archived)

A POD OF DOLPHINS

( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:37, archived)

I'M SORRY I CAN'T DO THAT DAVE, IT'S FULL OF SHITTING DOLPHINS

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:39, archived)

That's not as big as I thought
I reckon I could give it a good boot in the eye if the necessity arose
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:38, archived)

This leads to the age old question.
Is having sex with a blowhole classed as oral sex?
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:41, archived)

I think an important step in answering this is finding out whether tracheostomy stoma count

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:42, archived)

Looks lovely,
I prefer them a lot shorter and made of plastic myself.

EDIT: Oh, and I've been finding out that my grad job has fallen through
( Randomgazz, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:33, archived)

I went to a wedding yesterday
and me and my best friend drank 3 bottles of Rose and 6 glasses of bucks fizz between us.

Today has been an ill day. :(
( Mrs Sp@m, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:33, archived)

Is that it?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:34, archived)

We don't all have 4 stomachs dewd.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:36, archived)

There's a fat joke here
But the fat must be getting in my eyes as i cant see it. Because of the fat.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:36, archived)

This guy ain't no motha'fuckin MC
I know everything he's got to say against me
I am fat, I have a massive bum
I still live in a house with my mum
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:38, archived)

It's not the fat, it's the sweat pouring over your fat eyes from the exertion in moving your fat fingers.

( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:39, archived)

so postin dis
www.gilgamesh.zen.co.uk/images/23.jpg
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:44, archived)

It's Krang.
See?
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:47, archived)

phwOARS

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:33, archived)

I started reading Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea but it got a bit deep.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:34, archived)

I started reading Blood River
and now own 3 other books on the Congo. I really should stop these short term obsessions.
( magnum, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:41, archived)

Recovering.

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 31 May 2009, 19:38, archived)

oh look. a canoe

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:39, archived)

CAN'T YOU TELL A CANOE FROM A KAYAK, DO THEY ALL LOOK ALIKE?
YOU FUCKING RACIST
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:41, archived)

More like ROWcist.
Hahaha, am i rite?

Guys?
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:43, archived)

haha you tellin it mike

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:43, archived)

*high fives*

( magnum, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

sarfend
i had a go of loads of rides and et candy floss on a stick. good times
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:40, archived)

Oh
Goddammit.
( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

Are you 12?

( broadsword, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

and gay and autism

( __, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

+meters around the face

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

I find that funnier than I ought to.

(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

This

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:45, archived)

I've never seen such novel methods of trolling, well done

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

I am sunburnt.
I was too engrossed in revision to realise I was burning and now I hurt.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 31 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

you should have cut out note stencils
and burnt the answers onto yourself
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

Rub ice all over yourself

(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

Coooooooooooooooold shower.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

Bathe in cum.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:43, archived)

Oh i've just realised
i'm terribly burnt too. Maybe you could help me as well.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:44, archived)

I've got a backlog of wank pots for this very occasion.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:46, archived)

you could start a mail order internet-cum company
allowing your consumers to bathe like cleopatra in aspies milk
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

Sperm Mhale
Sperm Whail

No, doesn't work :(
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:24, archived)

You deliberately went outside to give yourself skin cancer
and now you want sympathy?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:50, archived)

I went outside,
and now I'm absolutely pissing mucus out of my nose
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

Just do like me, and take an antihistamine every other hour.
Sprinkle some on your breakfast cereal.
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:16, archived)

everybody I know seems to have hayfever

I think plants are planning something.
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:17, archived)

As long as it's better than The Happening.
Man alive, I should have thought when it said 'From the man who brought you 'Signs''.
It was SHIT, and if you haven't seen it, the grass did it. It's a terrible, terrible film.
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:20, archived)

it's the only film I will happily spoil for anyone, as a service

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:22, archived)

I'd add to that '100 feet'. Mykey recommended it.
Again, I should have thought. It's like Ghost, only shitter and with worse acting, plot and special effects.
I might watch another off the top 250 list this evening.
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:26, archived)

OMG
A triffid just walked past my window. *puts on skiing googles*
( magnum, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:23, archived)

The truth hurts
images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/1/13/NegroJesus.jpg/290px-NegroJesus.jpg
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

replyspaz

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

*slow handclap*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:20, archived)

My housemates and I were just on the park and some kids came through with water balloons.
They pelted a few people, including some girls, who then called the police. On CHILDREN. What's wrong with the world?
They came and sat with us for a bit. They were good lads.
( Malchick, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

That's how terrorists start

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

They also stole Housemate Raf's hat and shoes and he had to fight them back for it.
It's the funniest thing I've seen for ages.
( Malchick, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

You invited children to come sit with you?
When the police had been called?

...How's your police cell?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

We didn't invite them, they came over.

( Malchick, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

You came over them?
You're like Chris Langham.
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

You're the laziest peado ever

( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

For fuck's sake, what a waste of police time.
Oh my god, I want the dog on the dog whisperer right now.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

these are the sort of children that are RUINING our SOCIETY

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

Water is very dangerous
people could have drowned!
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

how can you be sure they were DWARF TERRORISTS
with ACID BALLOONS
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

FUCK OFF CUNT

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

Oh for fuck's sake.
What were these people like? I bet they were fucking Tories.
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

Mostly fat, 20-something-year-old students, three of them.
Stupid cunts.
( Malchick, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:24, archived)

I reckon the police should be given water bombs
for occasions such as this
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

This is a great idea.

( Malchick, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

they've alrady got water cannons
they're like the cheating dad who goes off to get the garden hose
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

if their shirts had got wet, they may have become tight and restricted breathing
you should have power hosed the fat cunts
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

Bell ends, all of them.
IHTDS.
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

I heartfully support this level of social bitterness against fun and pleasure

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

Should I bleach my hair, and then dye it bright red?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

shave it off and wear a dog like a hat

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

I might use my rabbit as a hat.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:37, archived)

A friend of mine was arrested for knocking a police officer's hat off with a super soaker
Although to be fair to the officer, it was after the second time when the officer had already gone back to the station to get changed after the first time.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

So, how would you kill Dave?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

Trimble or Cameron?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

B3tard the r3tard.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:05, archived)

But you can kill those two too.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

I'd lock him in SickRik's sex dungeon

( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:05, archived)

What would this dungeon contain?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

for the sake of my sanity
I dread and refuse to think about it
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

lo fu
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

I'd make him have sex with [insert female b3tans name here]
and he'd kill himself with shame moments after.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

I'd threaten to beat him up
then fake an asthma attack.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 31 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

Oh, you WOULD do that.
You're always at that.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

That does sound like your M.O.

( nick the greek, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

haha

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

I do it all the time. I can't help myself.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 31 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

You mean like when you said you were coming here?
I'm APPALLED and HUMILIATED.
( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:15, archived)

I don't have asthma, I'm a nawty liar.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 31 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

You're worse that Hitler.

( Druid, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

lock him in a room with sexface

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

I wouldn't
I think letting him come to the conclusion, aged 84, after battling painfully with cancer for years, that his entire life had been devoid of meaning, that his wife had been fucking other men for decades, that his kids hated him and that he'd contributed nothing to humanity at all, would be punishment enough.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

Hardcore.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

Slow burner.
Love it.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

Fails on the instant gratification

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

Casserole ain't got nothing on me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:11, archived)

Which Dave are we killing this time Dave?

( nick the greek, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

i'd do it softly with my song

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

is your song the resonant frequency of his liver?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:14, archived)

it's known to induce cranial hemorrhages and permanent deafness

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

You're Celine Dion, aren't you

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

Run him over.

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

Refuse to open the pod bay doors

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

pfft

( scott,, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:15, archived)

I'm glad someone got that,

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

*click*

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

ahthankyew

(PsychoChomp, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

winky winky bum bum poo poo titty titty

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

HELLO.
How the fuck are you?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

I AM FUCKING GREAT
I've been making tunes again now my computer is spanky wonderful and working properly

HOW THE FUCKING CUNT ARE YOU?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

I'M FUCKING GRAND
I saw lots of lovely rabbits, and now I MUST HAVE the dog on telly now. I want a fucking dog, it's not fair.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

does NOBODY ELSE
think that Yahtzee Croshaw is a twat who sounds like Jude Law, which makes him even twattier.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

NOBDY ELSE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE BLETHERING ON ABOUT

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

KNOWS CARES
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

ZING!

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

How's business?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Slow, but at least I'm sitting down instead of walking about annoying voters.
When are you popping over?
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

I dunno, I'll have to see how the job situation turns out.
I'm hoping to get home for at least two weeks this time.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

Right so.
Fucking hell, we've still a while to go till pub o'clock.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:07, archived)

What time is pub o'clock?
I haven't been to the pub in ages.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:11, archived)

It'll be about seven.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:12, archived)

Gay.
Is the missus about, or is she in Chill Chainnigh?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:16, archived)

She's in Prague.
But she's back soon, probably tomorrow, or something.
There's a picture of you on /board.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:17, archived)

Is there?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:18, archived)

Haha.
'tis a good name.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:18, archived)

You see what I did there?
COMEDY GOLD
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:19, archived)

I NO.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:21, archived)

You mean the zero puncuation guy?
I don't think it really matters what he sounds like because his reviews are original and witty.
( SuperMatt, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

I too watch him for the articles
he was right on the money with the dolphin racing in duke nukem though.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Did he say something bad about a game you like?

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

I'm sure there are,
I heard people have different opinions about other things as well you know
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

I heard otherwise.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

oh yes, you are right sorry.

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Or AM I?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

what ever you say
I haven't received today's opinion memorandum
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Or HAVE YOU?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

no
I have a little flag on my inbox that miss heatherington raises upon placing items in my inbox

miss heatherington's inbox item notification flag is currently not flying
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

Have you checked that the hinge is working properly?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

hmm, it was squeaking as she raised it, but I left it as it informed me of its status without getting up
maybe it has worn through entirely. I shall check
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

You are right it is in there, the memo says you are entirely wrong and you smell of wee
thanks
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

HA HA GARY GLITTER WIPED HIS ARSE WITH THAT MEMO YOU HAVE PAEDO AIDS AND SMELLY FINGERS

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

IT SAID DESTROY AFTER READING AND IT WAS MADE FROM RICE PAPER :(((((((

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:08, archived)

I HAVE AN OPINION

( WHARRGARBL, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

Rafa Nadal just lost.
I think the world is about to end.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

It didn't end when he lost to Federer not long ago.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:06, archived)

yeah, but did he cut off his head with a sword?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:09, archived)

He didn't lose to him at the French did he?
He lost at Madrid.

Roland Garros was like his Holy land.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 17:14, archived)

I don't know I don't really like tennis.
Ballet though...now that's a MAN'S game.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:17, archived)

it was those hideous pink shirts that did it

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:10, archived)

HOMOPHOBE

( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:11, archived)

HOMONYM

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:13, archived)

charge

( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:18, archived)

skate

( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:19, archived)

That's all I have.

( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:24, archived)

I like him.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 31 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

I dont, I think he is a very insightful and witty reviewer.
I also believe that he said something bad about a game you like and it coloured you against him for life. Seeing as how this is the internet probably something Nintendo made or some generic Japanese game.
( Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:27, archived)

he sounds a lot like Rathen

( well, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:51, archived)

Why are there so many hippies in my shop?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

what kind of shop is it?

If you sell hemp, face paint, flowers or placard making kits, then I can tell you why
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

It's a bookshop.
We sell books.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

Tell them you have copies of Razzle under the counter
*nudge, nudge, wink, wink*
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

any speciality?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

No.
Not really.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

what's the most popular shape of book?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

Cuboid.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

so..many..right angles!!
far out man
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

They're probably tourists.
Burn them.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

Some of them are FRENCH.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

I see.
I think you know what you need to do.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Mmm...burning frenchies.
I love the smell of onions cooking.
( thealternativefact, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

It's those hemp trousers

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Holy shit
it looks like I might have to set up a company for myself. Its just so I can get some freelance work sorted out.

The thing is, the darn thing has to have a name. What should I call my one man band software development company?

edit: thank you all. I'll think about it some more, I kinda like the idea of the name to be something about robots and cakes.
( MrA, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

MrA's Software Development Fantasticarianum.

( WHARRGARBL, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Microsoft.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Macrosoft.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 31 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

PaedoSolutions

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Nonce unlimited

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

One Man Bandsoft

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

David Milliband

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

"One man band software development company"
Or, OMBSDC for short.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Blue Sky Thinking Business Critical Systems Infrastructure Development
Delivering Tommorrow's Solutions...Today™
( moohalaa, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

The Three Point One Six Amigos

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

I do like this one
I could wear a hat too!
( MrA, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

arriba!!

(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

MicroShaft

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

The Hypertext Protocols of the Elders of Zion

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Bognor Regis

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Macrohard

( WHARRGARBL, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Arnold

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

The Way You Always Need a Pee About A Minute After Having a Shit Ltd.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Comfort
For the best soft wear.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

nyaaaaa

( MrA, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Hitler and Associates.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

One Man Band Software Developments

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

FUCKING AWESOME SOFTWARE INC.

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

don't bother
find a contractor umbrella company, running a limited company is a shitload of effort and hassle

edit: BAM
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

err, nah

( MrA, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

good luck with the VAT man then
don't forget to save up enough cash to pay off the VAT and NI next April
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

yep, thats fine.
I'm sorted accountancy wise.
( MrA, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

LOL

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9Z1E_-2EmY
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

HOLY FUCK, ZEBRA POO.

( WHARRGARBL, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

man, think of the business cards.
awesome.
( MrA, Sun 31 May 2009, 16:05, archived)