Smells like Updok in here.What is the nearest object to your left, RIGHT NOW?
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:33,
archived)
I'm not sure either - I am sitting in the dark.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:35,
archived)
Yeswww.b3ta.com/talk/6157063
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:37,
archived)
An A4 pad, with several loose leaves on top filled with writing on both sides.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:37,
archived)
TREES!Oh how I miss the trees.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:38,
archived)
I don't.Then again, I live directly opposite a park.
And my aim is excellent, ho ho!
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:39,
archived)
Since I had the Nigerian variety, I have found standard Guinness to be quite unfulfilling.I'm not sure whether to be sad about this or not.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:42,
archived)
Nigerian variety? Tell me more!A link will suffice.
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:43,
archived)
Oh come on...en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guinness_Nigeria
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:44,
archived)
Be sure to check for the red "imported" label on the front.There's an almost identical one by the same name (Foreign Extra) that is not the Nigerian one, and is very different.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:48,
archived)
Bit too sweet for megets you proper drunk, though.
(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:45,
archived)
Oh yes. Especially if you can get the bigger 750ml bottles.:-D
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:46,
archived)
How would you describe this "Updok" of which you speak?(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:38,
archived)
Git. Nobody will ask now.RUINER!
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:39,
archived)
Someone has done this to me before,but I couldn't remember what the joke was.
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:40,
archived)
What's wormdo?Nah, doesn't work. What's the joke?
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:43,
archived)
"What's a wormdo?"Wriggle.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:43,
archived)
What's a snakedo? It slithers around.What's a mousedo? It squeaks and bites.
What's a phonedo? It rings and lets you talk to people.
What's a kettledo? Boils water.
What's a cupboarddo? Opens up and lets you store objects of various sizes inside.
What's a hairdo? Nothing much, then it falls out.
What's a corpsedo? Bugger-all.
I should really stop now.
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:48,
archived)
You have a pastycost on your head.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 18 May 2009, 1:11,
archived)
"What's..." etc.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:42,
archived)
An empty cardboard box.Boxy boxy box.
(
NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:42,
archived)
A black and white catwho is trying to muscle himself on to my lap but I'm having none of it.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:47,
archived)
Shove it in the oven, 220C for 50 minutes.Lovely.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:48,
archived)
He's a bit old and stringy nowHe'd be a bit chewy.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:50,
archived)
In that case, freeze it with liquid nitrogen, then hit it with a big hammer.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:52,
archived)
My 1/5 finished dissertation:(
(
TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:57,
archived)
*restrained giggling*(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:59,
archived)
*punches you in your crooked neck*(
TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 18 May 2009, 1:02,
archived)
I have a two thousand word newsletter to rewrite before bed, and I'm canvassing at half seven in the morning.Why shouldn't you be here right now?
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:07,
archived)
i've got a quiz/maths challenge i need to complete for tomorrow that about 10% done.EDIT: by which i mean i'm making one, not trying to do one.
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:08,
archived)
Put in that question about what age they are.You know, the brothers.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:09,
archived)
Sadly, it's just simple sums.(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:10,
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Yeah, this one is sums.One of them was twice the age of the other two years ago, but now they're twins.
Or something.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13,
archived)
1. 1+12. 1+2
3. 2+2
4. 2+3
5. 3+3
6. 3+4
7. 4+4
8. 4+5
9. 5+5
10. 5+6
The clever bit is that you don't even have to calculate the answers yourself when checking! It's always the number of the next question. Apart from number 10. I haven't worked that one out yet.
(, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:16, archived)
Ha! it spells "Boobless"(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:15,
archived)
Might get a phonecall from one of several agencies first thing tomorrow morning,telling me whether I'm going to be working in Stanley, Pudsey or Doncaster, and when I need to be there.
This is only a matter of concern if the answer to latter is "right now".
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:09,
archived)
Are these the kind of "agencies" that give you a polaroid photo and a briefcase with a sniper rifle in it?Because if so you'll need to sort out a private pension plan.
Trust me on this one.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:11,
archived)
I can't sleepEven listening to an old radio show of mine won't send me to sleep.
(
jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:11,
archived)
If I could be arsed to rip my old shows I'd send them to you.Eight year old political satire from a country you don't know much about would knock you RIGHT out.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:12,
archived)
So would a mallet to the back of the head.(
jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13,
archived)
Well yes, but "purely democratic means" these days.(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:14,
archived)
Perhaps people voting for which type of hammer I should use?I suspect a lump hammer would win on a swing vote.
(
jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:15,
archived)
If you're going to hit a man on the hand with a lump hammer you need to put the hand in a plastic bag first./top tips I wish I didn't know
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:19,
archived)
Also, while you should maintain a reasonably firm grip,don't grip the hammer too hard or you'll get a fuckload of blisters.
/used to work in a furniture factory
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:29,
archived)
I'll bear this in mind when I'm making my own furniture.Again. Fucking panel pins.
(
jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:30,
archived)
Believe me, it's a very handy hint if you've got 60-odd staircases to put together by the end of the day.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:32,
archived)
Do you have fairy hands?Blisters from tapping in panel pins? You're doing it wrong.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:34,
archived)
You did punishment beatings in a furniture factory?Young people these days, etc.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:30,
archived)
I should be writing an essay on employment law.I have to keep stopping to do other things or I'll start chewing my arm off through boredom.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13,
archived)
Now come on. Employment law is interesting.I'm helping out a chap who got assaulted by his shop steward.
That's pretty interesting.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:14,
archived)
I take it he won't be accompanied by a union rep during the resulting grievance meeting?Its not as bad as the integrated human resources management essay I've just finished, but I've had about enough for this year.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:16,
archived)
I'm not going into too much on this one, for obvious reasons.But I'm quite happy with it.
I'm quite in favour of trades unions, which means I hate the corrupt fuckers, and right now we're about to run a big gang of them right out their industry.
Which I'd class as a good result.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:18,
archived)
Excellent.Can you do the MPs next?
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:21,
archived)
We ran all those cunts out of here in 1922.(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:24,
archived)
I would second this. I hate corrupt stewards.(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:22,
archived)
But the great thing is, when they fuck up, they fuck up OBVIOUS.(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:24,
archived)
i should be eating and drining in that sohobut i was a lazy cunt so
meh
(, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13, archived)
Just under one sixth of my degree is being assessed tomorrow and Tuesday and I don't know enough.Fuck me.
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:17,
archived)
I've someone far nicer to fuck at home right now.But thanks anyway.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:19,
archived)
Go to sleep.You do know it you're just stressing.
A good night's sleep and an excellent breakfast with a read through your notes tomorrow morning will see you right love.
(
TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 18 May 2009, 1:01,
archived)
Because I,unlike you, just FINISHED what I had to do this evening. An entire weekend spent researching the UN, no sleep last night and 10000 words later i really am worse for wear.
(
morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:25,
archived)
Why waste all weekend researching when you could have asked me?I'm an expert.
(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:27,
archived)
on UNODC and the convention against transnational organised crime?Including its three protocolls and what effects it's had?
If so, well,
fuck.
(
morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:29,
archived)
Well anywaywhat I was mostly doing is trying to find decent sources. As you would imagine, hard to come by when you're writing about organised crime from different regions around the globe.
God, I hate that kind of research with a passion.
(
morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:32,
archived)
I will respond honestly to anything asked in this threadgo.
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:55,
archived)
SLACKERdo try to keep up
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:00,
archived)
*hangs head in shame*(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:07,
archived)
Have you ever been caught sniffing your mum's undercrackers?(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:56,
archived)
No.It's quite difficult, what with her being all the way on the other side of the world.
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:57,
archived)
Even so, you must be quite a pro.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:58,
archived)
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me, oh-oh-oh?(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:56,
archived)
Do you love me now that I can dance?(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:01,
archived)
You can dance if you want to.You can leave your friends behind.
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:02,
archived)
Do you think I'm sexy?(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:02,
archived)
You're not my type.(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:04,
archived)
Do you think you're better off alone?(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:05,
archived)
Don't you wanna know why we keep starting fires?(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:16,
archived)
can I have your debit card number, and pin number please.plus valid from and too dates and those 3 numbers on the back.
Thanks.
(
MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:57,
archived)
No, you may not.(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:58,
archived)
Lights off, no talking.(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:58,
archived)
I'm not surprised, you do resemble me 4 years ago.(
GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:00,
archived)
There's a lad at work who looks like a blonde version of you.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:05,
archived)
buffalo bill quote?WP, was on terrestrial last night :-)
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:04,
archived)
what is your account number and sort code?(this is more of the same thing. This might be entrance into the world of crime, *excited*)
(
MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:59,
archived)
I can't remember them off the top of my head.(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:00,
archived)
Was I right to leave my 18 year old niece's birthday party when they put the Mamma Mia DVD on?(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:59,
archived)
i'd consider you unsuitable to continue living if you didn't.(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:01,
archived)
you should have leftonce you felt its evil presence in the building.
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:01,
archived)
She didn't warn me she had it.And there was alcohol there, so I had an incentive to stay. Plus I don't often see my brother.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:04,
archived)
when it gets to the singalonga stageI'd have to leave in disgust.
I mean, I liked Iron Maiden, but when there's a musical called 'Charlotte the Harlot' using popular tracks from the band's first three albums, I would have to strongly consider not leaving duing the second half of the show once I knew what it was all about and hoping it didn't have broadway actors in it.
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:06,
archived)
Oh I was long gone by then.Despite her saying "Oh it's so good, you'll really enjoy it". She clearly doesn't know me very well. The only singalonga thing I've ever been to was the Rocky Horror show, and once was enough.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:11,
archived)
well playedit's up to people like us to keep the foolish youth in check
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:19,
archived)
When I first heard that song,my immediate reaction was, "Shit, they totally ripped off that tune from Edgar Froese's 'Stuntman'!"
Then I looked up when "Mamma Mia" was released and realised that if anything, it was the other way round.
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:04,
archived)
Generic pop.It must be hard not to sound like something else.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:06,
archived)
what is the negative of Burnt Umber?in colour names, I mean, not 24-bit web hex.
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:59,
archived)
No.I will though.
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:01,
archived)
I know you are but what am i?(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:06,
archived)
Neither.Bill Hicks was the second coming.
The third coming happens in 2012 when madeline mcann is found bearing child.
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:15,
archived)
only if she can pick that new lock i just installedi mean.. err.. great can't wait
(, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:26, archived)
Wotchamy phone borked today so I got a cheap PAYG from Tesco to stick my SIM in. Turns out the top-of-the-range K750i from 3 years ago is now a lowly T303 but in a different cover and half the price. Clever recycling or taking the piss?
What is your mobile phone issue at the momemnt?
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:43,
archived)
I have a 1st gen iphonethink i'll get the new one in June. And no, I'm not the sort of cunt who will insit that everybody should get one.
(
MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:44,
archived)
Either my phone can't receive messages and callsor noone's calling me.
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:45,
archived)
make tentative contact witha phone sexline via e-mail. they will never stop texting you. Just don't reply at £££s a go.
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:47,
archived)
Cracked screen where it got hit with a drum stick.Can't wait til my contract runs out.
(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:45,
archived)
Thanks to the unpredictability of the network, it can take anything from two seconds to a week for texts to reach their intended destination.Though if it's really important, I usually ring them up and tell them instead.
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:46,
archived)
it is truelegal contracts should add a disclaimer 'a text sent is not necccesarrily a text recieved'
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:48,
archived)
They could, but as I don't have a contract, it would be quite irrelevant.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:49,
archived)
I have an iphoneobviously because I'm a pretentious wanker.
(
in vino veritas, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:48,
archived)
as I'm on O2 and my phone is borkedI wondered if I should Iphone.
is it any good?
hallo duckling
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:49,
archived)
HelloYes it is very good indeed, great fun and very customisable. Except the camera, which is a bit naff in anything less than full sunshine.
And it's very expensive too. Definitely an indulgent toy.
(
in vino veritas, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:51,
archived)
simple.Camera is not phone.
Phone is not really a camera.
/Zen and the art of Cameraphone Comparisons.
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:54,
archived)
Yay!*fives enthusiatically*
*wipes hand now curiously slimy*
(
in vino veritas, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:52,
archived)
No phone issues really.Except I'm a phone person and my boyfriend's not which is annoying sometimes.
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:48,
archived)
Who did those pictures of teawith slogans like "TEA. It's fucking great" and "Don't fuck about, put the kettle on"? I like those and wish to see them again.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:53, archived)
My fellow Barnsleyite and Owls supporter, Red Rocket.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:54,
archived)
Good evening internet.What's the hot topic? What's new in your world?
On the internet.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:26,
archived)
IS IT EVER OFF THE TABLE, HERE?!(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:27,
archived)
It's the only defense for men of the mind like us, JMG.Against the parasite that is Sexface.
(
ArthurTheRat, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:27,
archived)
I've given the latest SEXFACE vs WORMULUS state of play on my FAN CLUB PAGE.THAT'S "FAN CLUB PAGE".
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:32,
archived)
And this.www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/js/noisefilter.user.js
Needs Firefox and the Greasemonkey add-on.
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:43,
archived)
Brilliant. Great work there.I wish they'd write in an "ignore" feature on /talk - it'd save people writing scripts that advertise who they like to ignore.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:26,
archived)
Hello JMG!Sorry about the FOOTBALL, looks pretty dire now eh?
As for the internets, I've spent more time in meatspace this weekend, WITH REAL PEOPLES. I got drunk.
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:28,
archived)
It's not the end of the world.It's still pretty much as it was, Friday night.
Hollywood finish, and all that.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:31,
archived)
French translation exam tomorrow.Three hours of nightmarish horrible exam. :(
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:28,
archived)
Chin up Pet!JMG endorses a better Limey.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:32,
archived)
Better, happier, less stressed and STUDY FREE Limey in 16 days and counting.(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:41,
archived)
does that coincide withtrying to get a job time?
There's dosh to be made in translation, mainly in Strasbourg or Maastricht but such dull countries to live in. Depends if you want to spend your day with your mind on fire from comparing symbolic comparatives
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:46,
archived)
France is a dull country to live in?(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:47,
archived)
France per se is wonderfulbeing at the centre of bureacracy might be less than exciting
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:51,
archived)
I won't have my masters, just my undergrad.Fat chance of a translation job w/o postgrad.
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:47,
archived)
my old man is an engineer and deals with people on the continentmy mum is somewhat of a languages polymath. But even she has trouble when the translation requires technical data and terms to be translated. Specialise in SI units and you could be onto a winner :-)
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:53,
archived)
Yeah, MSc in Technical, Medical and Scientific translation.(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:56,
archived)
could be worth"€€€€€€€€€s" if you pull it off though.
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:03,
archived)
the team I have worked didn't win the Bafta this evening :((
MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:29,
archived)
I'll dedicate my next BAFTA to said team.Then throw some slurs at the front row.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:33,
archived)
I saw a lovely picture of a dancing rhino.weblogs.baltimoresun.com/features/mutts/blog/rhino.jpg
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:32, archived)
I'd so hug that if it wouldn't knock me through a fucking wall with its rhino charge.(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:34,
archived)
Employment Law.And will be all week.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:35,
archived)
SIP'swww.amazon.com/gp/search-inside/sipshelp-dp.html/103-1003358-4492635
how to read books in 2 seconds
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:36, archived)
Following on from the robot costume theme...What is your finest fancy dress moment, or if you don't do that sort of thing what is the best or the worst fancy dress costume you've ever seen?
(
TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:05,
archived)
I went as a ruined Lehman Brothers stockholder for Halloween once.Topical, lol.
(
ArthurTheRat, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:07,
archived)
Fran the Fish.Pictured here in the fish's natural environment: The Nightclub Floor.
photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v64/209/4/193100091/n193100091_32022047_3671.jpg
And slightly more normal looking.
photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v63/17/13/193101730/n193101730_32030618_2984.jpg
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:08,
archived)
Looks a bit carp if you ask me...*hits self*
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:23,
archived)
i went as a fully sized optimus prime one year and accidentally destroyed a home for war veterans(
Lightguy hail satan, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:08,
archived)
The best and worst one I've seen is Chobb's.Sadly I don't have a link but I'm sure someone will have it tucked away.
/edit - found a link explainthisimage.com/unexplainable-photo/623-elvis-meets-micheal-jackson
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:10,
archived)
I miss Chobb.There aren't many on here that make CHB look restrained.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:20,
archived)
I went to a party as El Topo a few years back.Of course, as no-one present save myself had seen the film, no-one knew who the fuck I was. But I did look rate swish an' that.
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:12,
archived)
Went to the pub on halloween dressed as Harold Shipman once.Posted it on here and public opinion was that I was more Rolf Harris.
(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:14,
archived)
''can ya tell what it is yet?''img194.imageshack.us/img194/3695/haroldshipman.jpg
(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:19,
archived)
Watch out Grandma!I would've thought Shipman, but then you never know Rolf is capable, could be just as scary.
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:27,
archived)
I went to a party once as a vending machine.Made a bit of money for drinks too.
Last halloween one of my chums put next to no effort into his costume and cellotaped various shopping bags to himself...
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:19,
archived)
My worst costumewas going as a sticky mess. I just wrapped a load of duck tape around myself, sticky side out.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:20, archived)
Did you go as a Katamari?NAAAA NA NA NA NA NA NA NAA NA KATAMARI DAMACY!
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:24,
archived)
I did Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball once.Got the right name and everything.
Yarr.
(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:22,
archived)
I read that as John McCain.This would make for an interesting film.
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:25,
archived)
I was a glorious Baby Spice& enjoyed the freedom of wearing a pink negligee in Feltham at Christmas
(
broadsword, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:26,
archived)
escape the Young Offenders Institution?just kidding, my grandfolks are from round there. Fawns Manor Road?
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:30,
archived)
I don't know Feltham that wellwe were around the bowling alley / cinema complex.
(
broadsword, Sun 17 May 2009, 23:36,
archived)
I did dress up as Eric Draven from The Crowa few years ago at the Halloween b3ta bash in Coventry.
It was my sheer blind luck that no-one else also did the same.
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 23:28,
archived)
If you were dressing as a robot, how would you approach it?(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:19,
archived)
Hmm, boxes sprayed silver or something.Or implant my consciousness into a robotic body. Whichever's handier.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:20,
archived)
Have somebody else do it.I'm not for this kind of banter.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:20,
archived)
I've just joined your fan page on that Facebook Jammy.I must say that it is rather splendid.
(
mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:22,
archived)
It's where most internet is headed, these days.It's a tear jerker for the dumpy ankled.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:24,
archived)
Aye, I can imagine the fatties getting themselves into an irregular heartbeatover your antics.
(
mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:28,
archived)
It's allowing reverse anonymity.It gives the tubby a chance to have a go at JMG, under the disguise of their own real name.
Instead of their internet name.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:35,
archived)
Maybe we should send you on a tour of fast food restaurants in the UK,and then they can do it face to face.
(
mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:39,
archived)
I predict fist fights in the overflow drive-through bays.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:42,
archived)
They wouldn't last long, they'd tire themselves out.(
mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:46,
archived)
They wouldn't even be able to stand up in order to fight, don't kid yourselves.(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:57,
archived)
They'd just wheeze at each other until someone's lungs packed in.(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:58,
archived)
Autosexuals, roll out!(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:22,
archived)
Use the internet to get design ideas.Then use some kind of cardboard and silver.
(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:22,
archived)
he can also start shouting "PRINT IN PROCESS" and then do a poo on the floor(
Lightguy hail satan, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:55,
archived)
I'd take off my skin.Job done.
By the way, you haven't happened to spot a lass by the name of Sarah Conner pass by here have you?
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:31,
archived)
are you going for a 'robot' in generalor a specific one, i.e. C3P0, Robby the Robot, Marvin the paranoid android?
Tumble dryer exhaust tube is handy for articulated joints, i.e. knees, elbows. Depends how much dosh you want to spend on it. And the fact it'll be fucking hot inside as well.
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:34,
archived)
oh, and practise your 1980s 'robotics' breakdancingwhile singing 'Domo Arigato Mr Roboto'
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:35,
archived)
in fact that might work.just get a silver jumpsuit and work on your characterisation/ posture / actions.
(
Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:36,
archived)
feels like I'm wearingnothing at all
what's the song in this?
(
SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:10,
archived)
It's that really popular one with instruments, that people seem to like.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:11,
archived)
The idea is good. But it's poorly delivered.6/10
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:14,
archived)
Needs more capes.(
mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:19,
archived)
It's a good idea. But the delivery is poor.6/10
(
Lightguy hail satan, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:18,
archived)
OH HEY!I'm moving flat on Saturday. I'm dead excited.
What do you think will go wrong?
As long as none of my computer bits get destroyed, I'll be happy.
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:24,
archived)
Nothing will go wrong if you've labelled all your boxes properly,put padding on anything that needs padding, then check the house AFTER you've taken all your boxes/stuff out just in case.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 21:25,
archived)
Have you never moved house?Something always goes wrong. It's part of the fun.
(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 21:27,
archived)
I've moved all of my stuff from student house to student house.Not done a whole massive family move.
The last time I moved I ended up with a lot more stuff than I had before I moved out, due to my housemate being a fitness trainer on a cruise ship so wanted to downsize.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 21:28,
archived)
You'll move all your stuff into the wrong house.With hilarious consequences.
(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:25,
archived)
You write the script,I'll write the theme tune.
Neil Morrissey can star.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 21:27,
archived)
that's nearly a week awayI'll be able to give you a better answer closer to the date
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:26,
archived)
You'll get raped on the way to the new flat.(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:27,
archived)
Your cheek could get cut by a staple in one of the boxesAny legal types here? I'm thinking of handing in my resignation tomorrow - The original company I was employed by went tits up in 2004 (I started in 2001), my contract with the current company is for 2004 so I'm guessing my notice only has to be from '04? Also, can I use unused holiday against that termination period, and how does that work?
(
magnum, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:30,
archived)
You can use holiday, I know that muchbut if you're trying that trick near the beginning of the year they can get you. They could say "well you've only worked one tenth of the year, so we'll only allow you one tenth of the holiday"
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:32,
archived)
Also: have you been working for a titsed up company since 2004?(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:33,
archived)
No, the company I had my original contract with went tits up in 2004but the directors did some funky shit and nothing really changed other than company name. However the contract is in that new company name and starts 2004.
(
magnum, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:35,
archived)
Does your latest contract say anything about continuous employment?Companies normally prefer people to take holiday within the notice period as it saves them paying actual money in lieu. However if you are in a vital role, it should be in your contract whether you can take holiday or if you have to work it out. If it's not there, you don't have to.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:10,
archived)
ThanksContract was written before I was in a vital role, so it isn't there.
(
magnum, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:18,
archived)
TrueShame, I'd moved a week's holiday from last year to this so I could go on a long holiday (which now isn't happening anyway) so I've got 5 weeks to use up. It would mean I would only have to work 1 week.
(
magnum, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:36,
archived)
Did you take statutory minimum last year? That would have been 24 days including bank holidays.If you didn't, you should be able to carry that over. If you did, then it's up to them whether they let you or not.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 22:13,
archived)
the flat will be built on top of an ancient indian burial ground(
Lightguy hail satan, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:31,
archived)
I think everywhere is London is a burial ground for someone.(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:33,
archived)
I'm sure he'll remember to pack his colgate(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:39,
archived)
You seem to have misread what he said.He didn't ask
"What will happen when jenpots dies?".
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 21:35,
archived)
Just remember that Master Of Turnips is shitand it'll wash over you like water on a duck's back.
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:37,
archived)
I'm really not shit.I'm a firm favourite.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 21:39,
archived)
Since when was there a point of being "too" mean.There's mean, neutral and nice. Nothing inbetween.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 21:37,
archived)
it isn't inbetweenit's after mean.
nice - neutral - mean - too mean - right, that's it, I'm going to give you a hiding.
(
jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:39,
archived)
that's what I've been after all along ;)(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 21:40,
archived)
Will you wear the leather this time?(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 21:45,
archived)
Only if she manages to get the stains out of the crotch(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:46,
archived)
you can keep it, sweetit never fitted the same after you borrowed it.
(
jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:48,
archived)
It was difficult getting my ginormous manhood in therebut I managed it
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:50,
archived)
Pretty muchbut the prostitute I hired will never walk properly again.
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:52,
archived)
only if you wear the gimp mask all the way through, this time.(
jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:47,
archived)
It's not true, top yourself and see(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:41,
archived)
Your neighbours will be noisy, your landlord will refuse to fix the boilerand a large black man with a machete will hack your front door down at 3am for sleeping with his girlfriend even though she moved out last week. At best, you'll only lose a couple of fingers.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:36,
archived)
why are there never any large white men with machetesthey only seem to get ornamental samurai swords.
the government equality office is doing a terrible job
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:39,
archived)
Ah yes, those thingsI'll be sure to put in a security gate just inside the door, make of cast iron bars.
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:39,
archived)
I married oneProbably only because I liked the way her tits wobbled when I shagged her.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:44, archived)
LogisticsI remember when I moved flat and the bloke who had the van got shitfaced and turned up two hours late. I just remember phoning repeatedly and getting his voicemail whilst standing in a pile of boxes.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:39, archived)
Ah rightFortunately I have the most reliable of movers next weekend: my mother.
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:40,
archived)
have you hidden the smut well?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:41,
archived)
what about things that look like smut but aren't but your mum will think are smut?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:44,
archived)
I'm disgusted thinking about the hole in itlike at the seaside where you put your face through to be the strong man,
but the hole is in the groin
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:46,
archived)
Not quite like that noHe does have a headcrab on his head though
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:48,
archived)
I think you'll be attacked by a roaming pack of rabid yorkshire women, in the search of fresh meat.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:56,
archived)
That's probably trueI will make sure I have a whippet to distract them
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:00,
archived)
Good plan.With lashing of tea.
(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:09,
archived)
You will unpack your boxesand find Gonzo in them.
(
thealternativefact, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:58,
archived)
He's been in Cyprus for a weekbut that's when I started packing... OH SHIT
(
SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:59,
archived)
I just spoke to my auntie in Dublinto thank her for agreeing to make my wedding dress. So I decided to search the internet for inspiration. Oh dear Lord.
I can't think of a question. I just wanted to show you this horror and point out that it isn't in fact me in a wig.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:05,
archived)
Apparently a great many tards dont have mirrors.(
Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:06,
archived)
What an odd thing to say!(
Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:28,
archived)
I was merely referring to fact the dress looks like it was made from a bin bag.(
FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:32,
archived)
Oh I see.Sorry old chap, the old brain is fuddled today.
Want some home made bread and butter pudding to say sorry?
(
Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:35,
archived)
Thanks for the offer, but no thanks.I can't stand raisins.
(
FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:36,
archived)
Yeah. With their turbans and their smelly food. You wouldn't one living next door, would you?Oh ... raisins. Sorry.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:38,
archived)
Don't get me started on dates.Coming over here, stealing our jobs and our women, etc, etc. Nick Griffins Anti-date/raisin/sultana rhetoric is becoming ever more appealing.
(
FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:52,
archived)
It'd be easy for her to do I suppose.Easier for me, bin bags, more cakes and a stapler
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:31,
archived)
Goths are such bad dressers.I mean, fucking look at it. That's atrocious, the filthy whore. Has she never even used an iron before?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:08,
archived)
She'd look quite attractive if she looked attractive(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:08,
archived)
I quite like this one:www.fairygothmother.co.uk/newimages3/hn-2416fronts.jpg
I could dye it a different colour afterwards. Do people still chop up wedding dresses to make the christening robe these days?
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:11,
archived)
This one is lovely too, but I'd look stupid in it.www.fairygothmother.co.uk/newimages3/hn-1324fronts.jpg
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:12,
archived)
You're linking to the whole thing,not the individual corsets.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:13,
archived)
Oohwww.fairygothmother.co.uk/newimages3/large/v2040l.jpg
I don't even want to get married, I just want a dress.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:17,
archived)
I don't want you to get married or have a dress,I just want that girl in that dress.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:20,
archived)
Off you go, so.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:22,
archived)
Fuck it,I'll just rub one off while I look at all the pictures you've linked to so far.
Saves me actually talking to a girl.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:23,
archived)
she has monster teeth where her tummy should beraaaaaaaaaaaar
(
spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:49,
archived)
The trouble with those kinds of dressesis that you have to be an attractive woman in the first place
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:54,
archived)
None of those for me!(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:55,
archived)
Only those that:a) Get married before having kids and
b) Have the child christened/baptised
(
mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:12,
archived)
i'm surprised how many folk i know have their children christened, despite being atheistsi believe this is because grandmothers are a more powerful force than is often reckoned
(
spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:48,
archived)
I'd fuck you if you wore that dress.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:12,
archived)
+ up the arse, dry, with chilli pepper under my foreskin, as a punishment(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:14,
archived)
Only if Dale Winton had been signed up to shout "COME ON THE WALL"just before ejaculation.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:16,
archived)
aren't you upset that people are linking to your flickr account?(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:28,
archived)
I've not slept so my brain isn't functioning. So, what?(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:37,
archived)
I was insinuating that that was a picture of you.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:39,
archived)
You're horrible to TuTT(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:40,
archived)
Am I nice to anyone?(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:56,
archived)
To be honestno you're not. Not even me. And I'm LOVELY.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:57,
archived)
Lovely in a fucking awful way,if anything.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:57,
archived)
SHUSH IT UP.I'm lovely and nice and that.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:00,
archived)
ok, great, forum banter, cheers(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:41,
archived)
It's because you're a girl, online.My favourite type of person.
Someone who I can shout at but won't run away because they can't stand to look at my face.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 19:59,
archived)
it's also lucky smell doesn't carry over the internet(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:02,
archived)
Fair point,I'm in a decontamination zone right now while they figure what's causing the smell.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 20:03,
archived)
Maybe this?images.quickblogcast.com/82086-71861/hello_kitty_wedding_gown.jpg
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:09, archived)
They couldn't even find a model to wear that one.Ghastly.
(
FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:11,
archived)
Probably shot herself with this:www.kittyhell.com/2007/01/25/hello-kitty-gun/
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:12, archived)
I reckon that deffo at one time had a cock.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:28,
archived)
They're much too tall to be you.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:39,
archived)
many years ago in 2001I lived in italy. It was the end of the ski season and I had finished working at the bar i lived in. I had nowhere to live for as few days and a kindly old man (who was a first choice rep) named richard too let me stay at his house. It was a great apartment.
He was nice to me, I assumed he was straight until i rooted around his videos to find something to watch. One was "boogie nights" but in the case it was a BLANK dvd
full of twink gay porn i found out as i played it
and there were loads more. I didn't leep so well after that
(
SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:05,
archived)
oh jesus, you are so lucky he didn't rape you(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:06,
archived)
Wait...There were loads more?
So you found the first blank tape full of twink porn, and then proceeded to check all the other tapes to see if they were the same?
(
OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:08,
archived)
Do any of you know if it's possible to buy a bag of sugar pillules, like the ones you find in homeopathic dispensers?I want to replace the contents of my sisters homeopathic kit with sugar pills, then laugh at her when she continues to maintain "It really works!"
(
applehead herp derp, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:04,
archived)
Think about this for more than one secondand you will realise how retarded it is.
(
WormuIus, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:05,
archived)
You would be replacing them with the same thing.Why not just not replace them and tell her that you have.
(
WormuIus, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:06,
archived)
oh i know they are already worthless and contain absolutely nothingBut it would be funny to replace them with an indistinguishable placebo, then reveal all to her down the line
(
applehead herp derp, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:08,
archived)
It would be better for both of you if you explained to her how medicine worked.(
WormuIus, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:15,
archived)
Sister: "I had a stomach ache, and was feeling fatigued and took such and such a homeopathic remedy and felt much better afterwards. Ergo it works"Me: "No you didn't. I replaced your such and such homeopathic remedy with pure sugar pills a week ago. What you took was a placebo. Ergo homeopathy doesn't work"
Sister: "Oh. What a fool i've been. Thanks for enlightening me with this marvellous ruse"
(
applehead herp derp, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:18,
archived)
If she really believed in homeopathy she could argue that by redcing the chance of an active ingredient you have actually made the medicine stronger ;)(
WormuIus, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:20,
archived)
But she would claim they're different things.This might be a good way to show her that the placebo effect is much more powerful than homeopathy
(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:08,
archived)
She would beBut this is about shattering her belief in homeopathy with some proof
(
applehead herp derp, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:15,
archived)
Yes.And doing something like this might show her that.
If she's taking the stuff, she probably wouldn't listen to the 'it's just sugar' argument
(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:16,
archived)
The magical homeopathic medicine could have rubbed off on the sugar pills.(
WormuIus, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:23,
archived)
I don't really need to goBut i'll try and squeeze one out for you
(
applehead herp derp, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:09,
archived)
Buy some generic capsule drugsempty the capsules
fill them with hundreds and thousands, or a mixture of salt and castor sugar.
reseal.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:07,
archived)
Why bother replacing them?As homeopathic medicine, they're probably just sugar pills anyway.
(
FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:10,
archived)
I know thisBut if the original contents remain she can claim THESE ones contain Sulphur, THESE ones Arsenicum Album etc etc
If i replace them with sugar pills, and show her the container from which i dispensed them, I'm basically showing her the placebo effect and that homeopathy is a crock of shit
(
applehead herp derp, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:13,
archived)
I thought the debut Arsenicum Album was the best.They'd lost their way by the second one.
(
FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:16,
archived)
I would simply point out to her thata) eating sulpher is retarded
b) eating Arsenic is retarded
c) these pills would be retarded if they contained those things
d) these pills are even more retarded by the fact that they don't contain those things anyway
e) she is retarded
f) you are ashamed to share DNA with her.
(
WormuIus, Sun 17 May 2009, 19:16,
archived)
LOL if i was going to make up a band it would be called"Hermione Granger's gargantuan spunky pissflaps"
what would you call yours you disgusting fat inbred heathens?
(
SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:13,
archived)
Sounds logical,but who would be the frontman?
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:18,
archived)
that why they have auditionsto find out if you can
(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:25,
archived)
The sexiest gosh darn auditions ever!(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 18:27,
archived)
The only drumming at the gigs will be from the fingers of fatties on tables eagerly waiting for the interval and their next meal.(
FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:51,
archived)
Can I be that creepy fan who always gets right in the middle of the front row, because I camped for 2 nights to get there.(
WHARRGARBL, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:57,
archived)
BraynDedd and the Zombies.I'm sure I've already answered this question numerous times.
(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:15,
archived)
I've plans to make a film entitledZombie Hookers and Voodoo Pimps. I've no plot, but I'm pretty sure it will sell on the strength of the title.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:16, archived)
Worked for Zombie Strippers.(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:17,
archived)
CAUTION: BEES(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:16,
archived)
www.justanswer.com/questions/nxkh-aunts-bison-suddenly-afraid
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:24,
archived)
Limey and the Treats.Duh.
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 18:16,
archived)
Matt White and the EmulsionsZebedee Cosmic's Deluxe Mobile Freakout
Leonard Lenin and the Llama's Pyjamas
Ten Thousand Years of Dead Spiders
I can't remember the others but I've used all of the above for one-off gigs
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:19,
archived)
Wussy and the Bedwetters.the lolarious thing is, they're the opposite of what the name suggests.
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:22,
archived)
Mini T and the Baby Ps(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:25,
archived)
Tara and the Twats(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:28,
archived)
Dumb and DumberBlue Star on the mic, with Blue Star on guitar.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:30, archived)
SADFACE, OFFLINEYou shit
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:32,
archived)
U3I'd be one better than U2 at least
EDIT: Or U2.0 - where Bono would be run by voting and user generated content.
(
rob, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:35,
archived)
Would you like toa) Change chords
b) take of those fucking sunglasses
c) cancel Third World Debt
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:42,
archived)
d) disappear up your own hole, finally.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:46,
archived)
Time to bring out the anti-Bono poems again, I think.B
(a
cu
nt)
O
no.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:48, archived)
seeing as it's an internet voteI reckon people would vote for d. Sing Rick Astley
(
rob, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:55,
archived)
I prefer my option d.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:56,
archived)
It's my cat's tenth birthday today.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:53,
archived)
She's in Ireland:((
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:56,
archived)
Hahahahawww.shipmentoffail.com/fails/2009/05/safari-to-remember/
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:57,
archived)
The Foo Fighters.If I was going to be in a band, it'd be the Foo Fighters.
Which band do you want to be in that disagrees with me?
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:57,
archived)
because you post lots of things that sound the same lol(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:57,
archived)
LOLI should be in Status Quo.
Teh Qu0 etc.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:58,
archived)
I don't get it(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:00,
archived)
Awkward moment for JMGeverybody click
(
hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:01,
archived)
I think we should all click it.That'll show JMG and it'll be LOL.
Everybody hate JMG on the count of three!
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 18:02,
archived)
You're all off balance nowone might even say you were wobbling.
(
hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:04,
archived)
The harder you hate JMG the harder you look in front of GIRLS.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 18:07,
archived)
98.5% of people surveyed said hating JMG helped them attract girls(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:07,
archived)
JMG, I hate you and everything you stand for.I also think Alan Shearer is a terrible manager and Newcastle United will get relegated. Of course, this is all your fault. Just like my current predicament of going bald is.
Am I doing this right?
(
WHARRGARBL, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:08,
archived)
you views on Shearer and Newcastle are correctso I can only assume this is a serious post
(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:09,
archived)
Somebody's probably aching to make that very point, a week today.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 18:10,
archived)
I'M WEARING MY HATE GLOVES(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:07,
archived)
take off those oven glovesyou just look silly
(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:10,
archived)
the thermal padding is necessary for picking up red-hot boulders of pure hatred and hurling them into the sweaty, outraged face of the world
(
vladimir, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:11,
archived)
I wouldn't want to be in a band that already exists.I'd like to make my own band.
(
WHARRGARBL, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:57,
archived)
Well naturally.. Yes.But that's just going to lead to name calling on here.
It's easier for people to join in if we all know the band.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:58,
archived)
Fine.I'd like to be in Paramore. Because I might see Hayley Williams walking around in her pants.
(
WHARRGARBL, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:01,
archived)
I'd like to be in Elbow, because they seem like a nice down to earth bunch of blokes.(
FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:58,
archived)
I'm smashing.The football is incredibly frustrating. But putting that to one side I'm chipper.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 18:01,
archived)
Fucking silly name for a band, that is.(
The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:03,
archived)
I don't think I'd like to be in a bandsurely playing the same songs night after night gets a tad boring
(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:58,
archived)
I'm going to say Bacon again.Bacon.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:59,
archived)
any particular reason for the bacon posts?(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:00,
archived)
new flavour of frijj(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:00,
archived)
That would be sick.Sick as in the urban youth meaning of the word.
Like, That'd be well sick, innit bredrin?
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 18:03,
archived)
He's failed to grasp the Six Degrees of Seperation game(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:00,
archived)
Immortalor Emperor, or someone else with facepaint, leather and medieval weaponry
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:00,
archived)
me tooi live the foo fighters and have a similar tattoo to dave grohl. I love thet band
(
SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:04,
archived)
If Dave Grohl knew he was inspiring people like youhe'd be reaching for Cobain's shotgun
(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:07,
archived)
*CLICKS*even though it's an insult i dound it very witty
(
SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:11,
archived)
I think I'm in lovewhat do you think you are?
(
SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:55,
archived)
Regretting volunteering for quite so much overtime5AM start tomorrow :(
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:55, archived)
it'll feel different when you get paid for it though(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:56,
archived)
This.Lovely, lovely money.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:56,
archived)
I could do with some lovely, lovely moneythis month and next month was / will be expensive :(
(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:01,
archived)
Well, yes there is the big fat £850 carrot at the end of the stick this month.Still, no consolation at 430 tomorrow when my alarm goes off and it's pissing with rain.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:57, archived)
just take your pain out on the passengers(
minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:00,
archived)
There's a new local pass thing starting tomorrow that's going to lead to all manner of confusionIt's going to be a belter with pensioners crying and many complaints. My favourite.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 18:03, archived)
I don't think anything.I know.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:56,
archived)
...going to fail.'S'nice being in love, innit? Is this the stripper?
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:56,
archived)
Bacon.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:56,
archived)
I was thinking about my youth, having watched Life on Mars all weekend.I remembered those jeans that had an illuminous print picture on the knees. They were well cool round here, like Campri coats with the ski chap on the back.
What childhood fashion horrors did you once love but now wince at?
(
Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:52,
archived)
my purple velvet shirtbut I really miss my red trousers with padded blue knees and "BMX" down the side in big white letters. I was 4.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:53,
archived)
Brown cheque nylon flares coupled with a cheesecloth shirt.I was well swish that christmas of 1976. Punk as fuck though, naturally.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:54, archived)
Bacon.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:54,
archived)
Did anyone ever see a movie...it was a thriller, the killer wore face and body paint to blend in perfectly with buildings so the women he was stalking couldn't see him?I saw it on the serious movie channel a long time ago.
Alt: Write and answer a question you think would be better than this one.
(
hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:34,
archived)
that was the EMA advert wasn't it?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:35,
archived)
No, it was very serious movieabout a guy who uses face paint to stalk and kill women
(
hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:44,
archived)
Mr Chameleon Loses His Virginity(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:38,
archived)
I'm watching Resident Evil 2.Milla Jovovich makes me hard :)
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:39,
archived)
I like 1 and 32 is rubbish
so if you drew a graph it could be like a pair of boobs
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:43,
archived)
2 is good because of Sienna Guiloryit's also the closest one to a proper zombie film.
I'm going to watch 3 after this.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:45,
archived)
I don't know.Make my stomach ache go away, please. Not by inflicting any more pain onto me.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:39,
archived)
lol you're babbied up.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:40,
archived)
I'm not.This is the cause of the stomach ache.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:42,
archived)
Yeah yeah.Congratulations!
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:43,
archived)
That's what sonja fowler thought(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:44,
archived)
Mint Tea, or milkor eight minutes on a trampoline
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:42,
archived)
There's no mint tea here.Or a trampoline. It'll have to be milk. Ta Grrrman
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:44,
archived)
Pfft.I'd rather not, thanks.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:47,
archived)
Seriously!That's why they invented vibrators, to save doctors manually bringing on a fit of hysterical paroxysm, a sure fire Victorian remedy for all manner of fanny/womb related turmoil.
(, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:51, archived)
Schindlers List - Episode 3: Revenge of the Jews(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 17:53,
archived)
Adverts!Infomercial:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQiyLsKz9jA
Advert:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k_Vzs2QaTU
(
Dubplateonly, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:49,
archived)
/links is one click to the right, you drooling lonely spunkbubble(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:50,
archived)
viewers are the last thing you needa humorous idea and the skills needed to make it a reality should definitely come first.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:52,
archived)
yes yes, i know i dont actually use z's on the end of words that dont need them
(
Dubplateonly, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:57,
archived)
its a dull joke that wears thin in less than five seconds(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:55,
archived)
well its only 30 seconds so you dont have to wait that long.
(
Dubplateonly, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:57,
archived)
so 83% of it is complete shiteand the other 17% is only dull. I hope you're proud of yourself.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:59,
archived)
well why didn't you use them, then?(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:08,
archived)
sorry I don't click links,I have staff for that sort of thing but unfortunately they are all out replanting the lawn, blade by blade cut from peruvian cave grass
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:52,
archived)
Monty Python was the greatest sketch show we've ever produced as a nation.Any debate?
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:48,
archived)
DefinitelyIt pales in comparison to that show what Tony Hart hosted.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:49,
archived)
A condensed version of Monty Python with their best sketches would be the greatest sketch show ever produced.As it is, there's a lot of chaff in there.
However, I am failing to think of a better sketch show, as a rule they're fucking awful.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:50,
archived)
I'd go so far as to say, take out the football and Monty Python's the best thing on all TV.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:52,
archived)
No, Monty Python was good, but in my "Top 100 TV shows of all time", it would go like this:99. House
98. House
97. House
96. House
95. House.
[...]
25. House
24. House
23. House
etc.
(
TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:50,
archived)
Howon earth am I going to manage waiting for series 6? I know it's only about 3 or 4 months but still..
(
moogy boobles, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:01,
archived)
I like the filmsI tried watching a couple of the tv shows, but they weren't really that funny to me. I'm sorry.
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:54,
archived)
Sadly one that got weaker and weaker with every series though.Towards the end it was dire.
I still favour Big Train as my favourite sketch show.
(
FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:05,
archived)
Pretty much everything worth watching since Python owes a lot to it;having said that, some of their sketches were fairly mediocre, especially, in my opinion, the hallowed Parrot Sketch.
Just watched a DVD of the Armando Iannucci Shows this week. That's pretty good too, if it can properly be considered a sketch show. Or otherwise.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:05,
archived)
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