vhs-tastic
In what upon reflection must have been a slightly drunken purchase, I now own 1000 vhs tapes, which I am in the process of collecting (one more trip to go!). I command you to tell me what to build out of them? I already have a vhs viewing throne (352 tapes) - What next?
(tpp, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

lol what

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

make a castle,
obviously. And call yourself the Cassette Fairy. Get a tutu and a blog.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

if you put a video under your pillow when you go to sleep
when you wake up, the cassette fairy will have given the characters in the video control over your body
( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

*writes to michel gondry*

( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

Weird Science.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

/puts bra on head.

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

Way up there with "Misfits of science" in some list somewhere or other of "Eighties films with the word science in the title"

( FoldsFive, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

kinda sciency
Real genius with val kilmer in.

/comedy movie.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

i don't think i've seen that film in two decades
perhaps my subconcious has been poking around in the dustier realms of my memory
( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

you watched GLC's "Missus is a Nutter" on youtube

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

i have now!
unidentified clart
( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

you knows it, braw

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

watching them?
/has 500 tapes up in the attic
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Fuck off.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Was there any need for that?
If it was Baldmonkey you would probably gone "omfg roffle brilliant, make a giraffe"
( magnum, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

Are you saying that there is a massive amount of sicophancy in /talk?
That quite possibly certain people kiss up to others based on their popularity in the hope they can bask in their glory?

Are you?
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

I don't know.
Make a hat or a car or something.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

a vhs car with a hat on it

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

set fire to them, and breathe in the fumes
report back
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

*blinks*
make sure you photograph it anyway
( rob, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

We've got three bin bags full of them in our attic.
I'm using them as insulation and expect they'll be there until we move.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

Although why you've kept them when you've moved your special movie collection onto dvd i'll never understand

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

Fond memories.
After all we do have bit parts in most of them.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

Send them off tied to balloons

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

Thats brill.
With a message recorded on each one telling folk they have won £1000,000 andto ring a numer which happens to be gay chat.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

I bet your house is well nice.

( rosie posie tingly bongly, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

I find they set off
the collection of empty crisp packets rather nicely
(tpp, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

RUBBERDUCKZILLA

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

I used to work at Blockbuster and as such had a lot of tapes at my disposal
One thing we did when it was a slow night was to make an immense dominos rally.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

Just build a GIANT vhs tape.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

omfg roffle brilliant, make a giraffe

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

YOU'RE SUCH A CUNT AND THE REASON ALL THE OTHER BOARDS HATE /TALK

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

Does anyone know a good gingerbread recipe?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

My mum does

( magnum, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

omfg roffle brilliant, make a giraffe

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

Seriously though, does your mum post here?
Should I gaz her?

Do I need to come up with a your mum insult or can you just insert your own?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

I'll just insert my own one

( magnum, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

Good work

( magnum, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

I think I've finally worked out how to work The Internet.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

Unravel all of them and see how far it reaches.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

About 25 miles.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

I went to see The Specials on Friday night.
I didn't see very much due to my height disability. They were fucking great though. There was much skanking and that. There was no honey. The end.

HELLO.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

You need massive shoes made from old vhs tapes.

( thealternativefact, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

That's a fantastic idea.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

I'm quite jealous.
Apart from the altitude disadvantage.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

Makes a change you being jealous of me and my gig exploits It was brilliant.
Noel Gallagher was there, though I didn't see him. Martin Johnson was there too. I saw him. He's fucking MASSIVE.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

could you not attach springs to your feet and jump up and down?

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

You should have clambered up the side of Martin Johnson. He wouldn't have noticed.
Frank Skinner stood next to me at a gig the other week. He's slimmer off the telly.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

how is that job as a solicitor going?

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

Assuming they're three hour blank tapes.
If they're films then a lot less. Unless it's 100 copies of El Cid or something.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

build a vhs chess chest

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

a turing machine
failing that, a vhs-henge
( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

brilliant!
I shall commence work on vhs-henge immediately
(tpp, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

be sure to dance around it sporting a beard with a leg bone in it

( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

ironically
I have also recently acquired a beard. I shall make sure I eat some bone based meat snack this week and revert with the results
(tpp, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

I'd like to see a big pair of tits.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

Write 'I WOULDN'T LET YOUR WIFE SEE THIS IF I WERE YOU. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T, $200 A MONTH TO MY ACCOUNT. LOVE JULIE' on the front.
and post them through people's letterboxes.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

stack them 8 high, then glue them solid
do that enough times until you have a massive black Jenga set. That will take 504 tapes.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

that
indeed would also be a good use for them, but what would I do with the cases? Were it not for the fact I live in a flat, I would build a flight of stairs.
(tpp, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

Whilst watching more4 and seeing `location location location`
it makes me wish they would do a follow on programme where all the people looking for homes are killed in the most violent manner possible, in slow motion and from various views.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

I prefer grand designs.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

the people getting houses are so up their own arses that it just makes me want to see them dead dead dead dead dead dead dead
in the most foulest manner possible.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

This is very true in a lot of cases.
I just like seeing innovative designs.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

I like A Place in the Sun.

(MooCow_Byter, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Homes Under the Hammer is good, too.

(MooCow_Byter, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

I find the bloke a bit too smug for my liking.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Would you like to move to a new country with a great new life.
Or would you like to go back to your previous life, whinge about it...


...NOW
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

All of these programmes make me quite cross.
They're never about people on median salary, always about properties most people could never possibly hope to be able to afford.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

Boiling the cunts feet first in oil
call now if you want them to die slowly or quickly.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

I've nothing against wealthy people wanting a nice house,
what I object to is the implication that everybody should be interested in them. We're being spoonfed foolish aspirations presented as if it were some sort of useful advice.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

I think that they just assume that of you're watching then you're likely to be interested.
It doesn't strike me as a ridiculous assumption.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

This appears at first sight to be a very reasonable assumption,
but on deeper consideration is really decidedly dodgy. As far as I can tell, people in television decide what they think people ought to be interested in, and for some reason a great many people fall for it.
It's very subtle. Quite a lot of people are interested in homes and home improvements, and will watch on that basis, only to be drawn into taking for granted a grossly misrepresentative sample of house buyers.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Yes, that must be it.
We are all dumb fuckers who are tricked into watching programmes that we don't really want to watch, in our millions, by those clever TV types. The clever TV types are so clever that they have realised that it is easier to give people stuff they don't want and trick them into watching it than just to give them what they want. It's all obvious really.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Sarcasm notwithstanding,
you've hit the nail right on the head there.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

Oh.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

Seriously though,
commercial television, as a business, isn't interested in giving people what they want. They're interested in getting what they want, and what they want is for people to buy advertising space. If giving you what you want is the best way to do that then it's win-win, but they're far to busy to ask everyone and nobody really knows what they want anyway so they just systematically go through all the demographics. Plus they know enough people will watch it in any case because they don't have anything better to do, even if they do complain about how rubbish it all is afterwards. Really it all comes down to the fact that the adverts for Budget Carpet Warehouse already have their place in the middle of Coronation Street.

The BBC is a different matter. It's their mandate to make programmes they think you ought to see, for your own good, which is why the real lowest-common-denominator stuff is still on ITV.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

lol, forum banter,
great.
( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

I have nothing against people with money
its people with money who are so up their arses that it makes you want them dead for no reason other than the fact they are oiley morally bankrupt cunts.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

I prefer the last 10 or so minutes of Grand Designs where you get to see it all finished.
And then get to listen to that pompous fuck's monologue.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

I like watching it all and blaming the architect for everything that goes wrong,
and knowing that I am right. Architects are cunts.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Twarchitects.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

Bastarchitects.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

Carchitects

( magnum, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Just turn it off!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

hard to do when you have a partner who likes to watch it.
and you have to suffer it.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Throw her out.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

yeah...throw out someone I love due to the fact they watch a programme that winds me up
not much give and take there.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

do the washing
thus avoiding the programme and winning brownie points.
( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

washing?
washing?

I cut her toes off so she could stand closer to the sink, I am not doing the washing.

does do washing but no jokes in that
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

You could have said something like:
"THE ONLY THING I'LL BE WASHING IS MY COCK AFTER I TAKE IT OUT OF HER BOTTOM HOLE, AND THAT'S IF I TREAT HER BY NOT STICKING IT STRAIGHT IN HER MOUTH AFTWERWARDS"
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I'd like to see 'The Bigger They Are', which follows the smug cunts as they lose their jobs
and depreciation has meant that their properties are being repossessed, leaving them in mountains of debt, living in a hostel eating beans and suffering from complete mental collapse.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

if the filmed them throwing shit over themselves, i would watch it

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

haha,
I like this idea.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

I reckon Kirsty and Phil are nice people

( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

not the presenters
the fuckwits who want to buy somewhere
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

people who buy houses as an "investment" piss me off.
buy a house to live in you cunts and stop making it difficult for people to get on the housing ladder.. grumble grumble grumble.
( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

This is a common complaint of the prolertariat

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

It's also the cause of a lot of investment bankers now being embarassingly out of work.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

shame
/laughs like a drain
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

What's that? You've got a £5000 a month mortgage payment and no job or savings?
Shit shame.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

Rather a strong view really
considering the vast aray of channels we have.

Mind, i feel like this about T4
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

i have nothing to add at this point, sorry, no offence
brill
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

I'd like to see a cash in the attic where a grandmother allows the camera crew and expert into her house at knifepoint
and the profits go to feed her grandson's heroin addiction
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

There's some twat on tv at the moment
Umming and ahhing about a 2 bedroom flat for half a million pounds. Some people have far too much money.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

thats her!
the feng shaui or whatever bitch.

she got my goat she did.

hope she dies alone and eaten by cats or something.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

What does she do for a living?

( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

they never say
me and e think she is a recent divorcee or a repressed lesbian who does something in the media
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I like to be in a job where I can see how my work benefits others as well as myself.
I'd hate to be in a job where it was all about money and myself.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

They're all posh yuppie cnuts.
Can't they have someone on those programmes who isn't a posh yuppie cnut?
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

<s>nu</s> un (x2)

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

And I'd love to watch a TV show where some young couple scrape together a modest deposit and buy a two-bed terrace that needs decorating and maybe some new windows when they've got the money.
There's nothing like a bit of escapist TV on a Wednesday night.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

People watch real TV too though. I'm a Yorkshireman, and
I'm telling you, Last of the Summer Wine is practically a documentary.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

'Wayne and Keavanay have decided against renting the swindon flat, as they are concerned there is not enough space for both the potato waffle and fish finger freezers'

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Haha!

( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Oh isn't this nice
Oh that's nice, isn't it? Oh, that's nice, I think that's really nice. Nice size, nice colours, nice wallpaper. Ooh look at that nice rustic fireplace. How nice.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

now I know why Elvis kept shooting his televisions.
utter crap
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

THIS IS ALL MADE OF PAPER

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

immolation immolation immolation

( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Hosted by Simon Weston.

( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

the make up lady has her work cut out on that show.

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

The football.
God it's frustrating. I require Liverpool taking something here against West Brom.
This should be a walk in the park, but they're making a tough time of it.

How's your football?
Bonus points for hiding your own side's incapabilities.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

I would like a thread without arguments, just for once.
Something happy we can all talk about.

My football is good. I want Europa League success, fuck what Harry Redknapp wants.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Redknapp doesn't want Europe.
He never does. It's a distraction.
I'm not sure what from, but it's a distraction.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

Spurs have a nice healthy squad.
We've got at least 2 players for every position. This is definitely enough for European success.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Has Danielle Lloyd scored with more Spurs players than Jermaine Jenas?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

Don't insult Jenas.
His name is shown proudly on the back of my Tottenham shirt.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

You want to be careful having JJ on your back.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

I was told off by some tottenham fans just before the kick off at the first Spurs Arsenal game.
It was a much different story at 90 minutes.

I always have faith in Jenas.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

He lost a lot of support here, too.
He's not living up to the early promise.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

the liverpool match in't going to affect Newcastle's chances
it comes down to Hull vs United next week, and even as a United fan, I really hope Hull get something from the match
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Well if WBA win, they visit a safe Blackburn next weekend.
So it'll just kill them off.

One step at a time.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

an hour played an a goal down
admittedly I'm not watching the match, but I'd be surprised if Liverpool let them back into the match
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

there's always lots of handballs when the women's basketball association play

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

Given a win against Villa will almost certainly keep you up,
do you think Newcastle are capable of doing that at Villa Park?
I personally think you'll be relying on a draw, and hoping that Hull don't pull off an amazing draw/win against Man U.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

+ Manchester
+ Manchester
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

There's only one...
etc.
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

Sorry, pet hate of mine
it's perfectly acceptable in the environs of Manchester...anywhere else and I get confused/annoyed.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

My team is doing brilliantly
I'm very proud of them.
( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Hmmmm
no bonus points for me, then.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Chin up and all that.
There's points to be won.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

My emotions are seesawing, JMG

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Still, one less to worry about now

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

I think anything taken from Villa will keep us up.
The big Hollywood finish.

..If the Unwashed don't win, tomorrow night. Sunday could in turn be absolutely awesome.
Results pending.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

Awesome only begins to describe that possibility

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

I think Villa would enjoy nothing more than making sure you go down.
It will be a good game regardless.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

You've said this about each team we've played for the past month.
..and the opposite for sides down there with us, MoT.

:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

I guess I have,
maybe I'm getting a bit caught up with the idea of a big team going down.

I'd still like the Unwashed to go down more than you though.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

Do Liverpool have anything left to play for?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Pride

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

fucking scunthorpe penalties
wahhh
(PsychoChomp, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

WHY DON'T AWAY GOALS COUNT??

(PsychoChomp, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

Because they shouldn't.
Away goals is an archaic system.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

^this
it's a silly rule
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

in most situations I would agree
but in this case it went against us so away goals should have been there.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

I really wanted MK dons to win.
Growing up, my "local" side were Luton. There's no way I could ever support luton town. If the Dons were around then, I'd definitely be a fan.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

I predicted this.
Don't hate me.
( WormuIus, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

Oh wait, I've just seen the score
I didn't predict this.
( WormuIus, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Not going up.
Not going down.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

it has long since ended, and badly, or not, no offence
great
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

my football is nearly flat
i need one of those schrader-to-football nozzles, or my game will be a bit weak
( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

*pops one in the post*
I bought loads when I was in JJB, cheap as chips.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

good point, i'll be going past there this afternoon
i'll pop in
( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

assuming you haven't bought them all, that is

( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I don't know
but I was quite freaked out by the Tevez face mask in the Sun
( its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Once again The Sun represents the thoughts of its readers with a classy free gift!

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

Indeed
I'm not sure what this Tevez business is all about, as I don't have the patience to read the Sun properly

/just looks at the pwetty pictures
( its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

I kicked one once, I don't know where it went though

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

MY FUCKING COLD FRAME I BET
*shakes fist*
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

You have a cold frame?
Buy it a jumper, for gods sake.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

I don't have a football.
I have sweat though, would anyone like some sweat.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

On Friday I bought tickets to see The Cribs for me and some mates,
now there are other people want to go but the tickets have sold out. They only went on sale on Friday, I noticed when I bought them (directly from the venue's website) that there were sites already selling them at six times face value, even though they were still available to buy from the venue.

What do you think about ticket touts? Exploitative cunts, worse than Hitler I think. Ruiners.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

Ticket touts are shit.
People who have genuine reason to sell their tickets get tarred with the same brush.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

shirly touts could be avoided if peoples names were printed on the tickets?

( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

Then what about people with genuine reason to sell?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

don't buy the ticket in the first place
unless you know you can make it? Allow refunds from the vendors?
( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

How can you plan for a death in the family?

( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

If you've had a death in the family
trying to claim back fifteen quid on a gig ticket might seem a little insensitive, don't you think?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

I don't know why I posted to be honest
I really couldn't give a shit.
( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

I tend to plan all my family killings.

( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

How can you plan for your only method of transport to somewhere 200 miles away (unless you want to pay £100+ for a last minute train)
to go and get 3 more points on his license and be banned from driving?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

Then you buy your train ticket
and call your mate with a car a silly cunt and suggest he take you out for a big apology cake later on.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

Yeah,
because a student can afford a £100 train.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Then you all get together and call your mate a massive cunt then.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

jesus christ, £100 for the train
where the hell were you traveling to? Its like £39 from manchester to london return with a student railcard (I do this once a week usually).
( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

Newcastle.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

from?

( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

Gateshead

(Bazongaloid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

Loughborough (£75 off peak today, although peak was needed),
per person, I'm the only one with a student railcard.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

heh I just found off peak tickets for £49 today through the trainline
but then I cant be arsed booking trains for you.

anyway who were you going to see? I'm just interested.
( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

It was Dream Theater 2 years ago.
I don't like them that much any more, so I guess in the long run it doesn't matter.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

surely you'd know where the gig was going to be in advance.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Yes.
He got banned from driving 2 days before the gig.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

you need to read it again

( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

And morning soup can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as...

( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

I think they're fantastic and I would buy them a drink if I met one

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

Online touts really annoy me
But once I was waiting outside Hammersmith Apollo because the mrs was really late and a tout gave me a ticket as he'd had enough and was going home. Which was nice.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

They're shit if they buy out a lot of tickets then sell them at extortionate prices, IMO
Not so bad if the price is similar.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

Well this is it. It's not fair. It's like those petrol stations which hiked the
prices up during the fuel crisis to take advantage, mind you they all went under as people remembered when it was all over and never went there again :)
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

I've bought tickets to resell before and made nearly £1500 on them.
I've also bought two lots of tickets on two different cards and two different billing addresses because of a 4 tickets per person rule.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

You wheeler dealer!

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

wheeler dealer massive shit
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

Robbie Williams does strange things to women.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

People like you voted Hitler into power.

(Bazongaloid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

I refer you to my sig

( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

they are poo
but i went to reading festival and ended up with a spare ticket and i sold it to a shitty tout for twice the price i'd paid. then i went up to an officer and complained about him and he got told off. (:
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

They're cunts, and I always tell them that when I see them outside Reading or Download fests.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

I don't like them.
But then again there's the people with a genuine reason. The venue/ticket sellers should operate a scheme where they buy the ticket back off of you at 75 - 80% of face value, and then put them back up for sale.
( WHARRGARBL, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

I think the venue should be obliged to offer a refund on the face value of the ticket
especially if you tell them well in advance when they haven't even sent you the ticket yet.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

Why should the venue be at the mercy of your day-to-day activities?
They have to run at a profit, you know.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

The venue gets paid regardless
it's the artist or, more likely, the promoter that takes the risk. If the show is good then reselling tickets should be easy, if it's shit, they would lose out anyway.

Personally I think if you went to the ticket agents, say, 3 weeks before the show they should give you a refund, i'd be prepared to agree that they could keep any booking fees you had paid. Then actual fans would be able to purchase the tickets.

I've not worked out all possible problems with my plan, but in principle, allowing refunds would cut down on a lot of touting.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

70-80%?
No.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

65-78%

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Much better.
Karl is an economics retard.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

67%-69%
and that's my final offer.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

We live in a free market, and if people want to pay six times their face value, let them. It's their money.
It's not the supply that's the problem, it's the demand. If you don't like it, you can piss off back to Russia, commie.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

But what about the false demand caused by ticket touts buying a large percentage of the tickets?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

I meant the demand from the touts.
If a tout has tickets and people are willing to pay six times the face value, then there is no false demand.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

So you expect people to not go and see something they really really want to see?
It's not a case of them being "willing" to pay 6 times the face value, it's a case of that's the only way to get the tickets that can often be to a once in a lifetime experience.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

Well they obviously are willing,
they have obviously made the value judgment that seeing the show is actually worth more than 6 times the face value. Nobody forces them to go. This is the only sensible definition of market value, unfortunate though it may be.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

It may be a true definition of market value
but most people would consider it "unfair", as arbitrary a definition as that is, and some regulation would make lots of people happier.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

Right you are, I'm not justifying it.
Although fairness is a pretty messy concept, all things considered.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

The good thing, though,
is that it keeps our concerts free of poor people and their poverty stench.
(MooCow_Byter, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

This is true
I particularly enjoy walking over the proles clamouring outside the venues whenever I go to a concert. I frequently leave part way through or sometimes even before the main act just to see their desolate faces.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Exactly.
When you go to see a group of extremely wealthy men and women perform on stage using fantastically expensive equipment, you want to surround yourself with other, similarly rich people. Knowing that the masses outside can't afford such extravagances is half the joy of it.
(MooCow_Byter, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

The free market makes it ideologically acceptable to ruin things for other people,
just because you can.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

It's not right though, because there's no such thing as a free market in this country under normal circumstances, there are regulations
and commmissions which look after consumers. That's why we don't all pay more for water and electricity and so on, but touts aren't regulated. It's an example of how shit a truly free market is.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I'm not saying I agree with the concept of the free market
I'm just saying as long as there are people willing to pay more for something, there will always be touts.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

This is correct.
There will always be someone who finds a way to exploit the system for their own ends, no matter how cunty it might be to do so.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Not if it's properly monitored there won't be.
Unique tickets and ID required on the door would make me happy. If you can't make it, they should issue a refund on the door for unused tickets (minus booking fee), and flog those on the day, first come first served.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

this seems like it could be a contentious issue, and that is why i'm forming no opinion, sorry, no offence
ok
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

They are rubbish.
I want to go and see Daniel merriweather at Bloomsbury ballroom, as I quite like him, but I also think the venue looks lovely.

www.bloomsburyballroom.co.uk/main.html
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

The seating looks lovely. Do they play on top of one of the coffee tables?

( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

Pssssst
wanna buy a ticket to see Hitler mate? Top price, front row seat.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

Click Here
( WormuIus, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

Being very metropolitan and whatnot
I've just been talking with some foriegn types. Turns out in Greece when it's your birthday, you take everyone out and buy them drinks, rather than the other way round (ie. the correct way) like we do here. Madness, eh?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Foreigners, eh?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

well at least it guarantees a good turn out

( rob, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

at work, when it's your birthday you have to bring in cakes and biscuits and stuff
*sadfaces*
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

which means I should actually get to the shops
seeing as i'll be at work tomorrow and that's when my birthday is. *sigh*
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Your birthday is RIGHT NEXT to *ffline *irl's.
I'm sure you feel ever so slightly closer to JMG then you did before you read this.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

It almost brought me to climax

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

*Dampens brow*
I really should bring out my own Karma Sutra for internet blokes.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Subtle.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

i'm a master of tact

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

myself and some, if not all of my family/friends have normally gone by the saying 'birthday boy/girl gets the beers', i'm sure this is of no interest really, or maybe it is, no offence
great times
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

I have 3 alloted periods for shredding paperwork
grate times
( broadsword, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

I know companies where, if it's your birthday, you have to buy everyone cakes.
Instead of them all chipping in to buy you.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Oh well.
Bedtime for me I suppose... :(
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

This is probably one of the shittest things ever.

Karl Hysteria - Exaggerating since 1988
( WHARRGARBL, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Depending how many people you work with it could cost a fair bit.
I'd be cheap and bake a dose of mini cakes.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I'd be even cheaper and just not buy any cakes.
It's my birthday, after all.
( WHARRGARBL, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

We do that
and if youwin the bonus ball.

Its frowned upon to by value cakes or biscuits.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I think it's like this in lots of offices.

( rosie posie tingly bongly, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

That's a bit crap.
I organise the cake-buying in my office, we always have good ones.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

It's my birthday in 84 days.
I hope you're all saving up for my present.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

It's ***line *irl's birthday, today.
Another insight.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

no
you're buying us all a drink.
( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

I'll have a pint of wine.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

classiest of all the men

( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

I'm pretty classy.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

It comes across really well.

( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

I come across pretty well.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

i probably wouldn't have to save up to buy you something, if i were to be buying you a present, which i'm not, i don't know you, no offence
cool
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I'm going to Greece to hunt people celebrating their birthday.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I think people buy you your drinks when it's your name day though

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

I thought the greeks called their birthdays name days.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

No you have two birthdays.
Well, one birthday and one name day. The day you were born then the day your saint's day is. August 9th and October 4th for me.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

March 21st for me...
Hmmm, 21 years of gifts to claim.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

How do I know who my saint is?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

I don't think you have one.
www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=saint+russell&btnG=Google+Search&meta=&aq=f&oq=
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

www.happynameday.com/query.htm?appSession=73387222254193
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

Hmm...

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

It says if you don't have a saint it works out what names are similar to yours and does it that way.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

That means my name day is 25th July
which is also a mates birthday. I'll have to insist he gets ME a present this year.
( broadsword, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

I think name days are already set throughout the year for everyone, and yours is just whenever your name comes around
someone tried to explain it to me once, in a thick greek accent
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

It's my birthday in 26 days, Russell.
I don't want to do drinks the greek way.
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

Nought like going greek

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

iron!, no offence, forum banter, great

( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

que?

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

iron hoof- cockney slang for a homosexual, no offence, forum banter
great
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Ahhh, a willy woofter.
Gotcha
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

at this junction i would also like to point out that i mean no offence to the greeks by implying they are all homosexuals, i'm sure some are tho, no offence
great times
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

I think you're a homosexual.
You like willies in your bottom.
(MooCow_Byter, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

forum banter, great stuff

( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

You're in luck
I'm not on holiday that day.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Hello Fatties.
JMG here.
Who wants to fall out with me first?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

not me JMG
I hope we never fall out
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
We're incredibly excellent people.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

absolutely JMG!
/ac
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

FUCK YOU JMG
LOVE YOU JMG
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

AGREED.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

I've just gazzed my internet mates about you.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

Do you know Maffers told on me to Mykey in front of everybody, last night?
It's a sharp dive for internet when it's treat like the classroom.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

You see JMG, he really DOEs have you on ignore.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

Just like people gaz you to say others are clicking nasty things about you.
And tell you to keep tabs on them
Class dismissed.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

You have me on your friends list.
Class back on!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

I have everyone who adds me on my friends list.
it's only polite.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

A LIKELY STORY, WOBBLER!
I'm going to take this information, and completely exploit it using internet truth.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

It's not PROPER internet truth unless it's gazzed round and then you get very upset when someone calls on it publicly.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

I only got one real gaz last night.
It wasn't even about Team Chubby.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

I'll screen capture if you want.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Don't you dare pick on anybody! Especially if they can't even see it. I'll tell on you to my internet friends!
Then you'll be sorry!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Imagine my surprise to come here and find you still crying over it half a day later.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

*INTERNET TEARS*
I'm going to put you on BLOCK.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/9a8441c6e0b73ddb4e32/aberdeenbad.jpg
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

PINK?!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Suits you.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

You've slipped in to "Have to reply" mode again.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

You asked me a question.
But if that's what you have to say to "win on the internet" you go right ahead.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

See.
What you SHOULD have done is not replied at all.
But, you just can't help yourself.

Let's have another go.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Well done.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

There's not enough girls online at the minute
can we stage this again later?
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

I'll put this in my diary.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

I come back to the computer again and suddenly, JMG.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

I'm terrible for doing such things.
Terrible!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

Is this the place where I might purchase a dangleberry? or tulips? no?
well then.. I will be on my way
( NeeNoo, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

Only if we do a staged fight,
so all the girls can swoon over us.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

I'll be topless.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

O_o can we?
That'd be the best.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

You have my permission at least.
Ask JMG for his, then we'll allow swooning.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

JMG, may I have your permission to swoon like a girly girl please?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

I do have a long list of swoonees as it is.
It's like a night club, Moohalaa's on the door.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Fails
internet tears
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

My head is too spinny for falling out

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

Did someone just ask you to walk an chew at the same time?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

if it is all the same to you i won't as it will involve forum banter that i can not enter into a the current time, sorry, no offence
good times
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Oh god we bought a wardrobe from Ikea today.
SO MANY THINGS TO PUT TOGETHER.

It has also inspired a sort out of various things. The flat is now a tip.
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

You can't be having all that mess laying around, RP.
What is the Queen was to visit?
Again, by "Queen" I of course mean Moohalaa.
He'd probably try most of your dresses on, do his nails and shout WOO-HOOO and the like.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 17 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

It'll all look BEAUTIFUL when it's finished, though.

( rosie posie tingly bongly, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

hey /talk it seems your stance is natural
www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227081.400-are-humans-cruel-to-be-kind.html?full=true

so what is SOOOOOO good about being spiteful?

no care.. your underwear?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

Nobody believes me when I say classical economics doesn't work.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I think you need to get a Handel on the basics first.

( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

maybe we should make a liszt for her?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

i started one but i'm
chopin it at the moment
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

go away and come bach when it's ready.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

it's almost ready but i don't want to un
Ravel it too quickly
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

would you hurry up then
I'm going to put my Chausson and go for a walk soon.
(I might have to stop this now)
( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

I might convert my old ice cream van to sell worms, maggots & prostitutes
A bait ho van, if you will
( broadsword, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/talk/6156005

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

Well you can, I don't fancy going Bach over my notes to be honest.

( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Schmidt!! That one was already used!

( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

don't get straussed out over it

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Fuchs you!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Fuchs
( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

seriously you should respect your
Elgars
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

I do! I dooooo!

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

boxers in a fetching red and blue checkered design.

( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I'm not wearing any
I am however dying.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

that's not good news, unless of course you have accepted that you are ready for death and are happy from the release of the pain you are in, or not, no offence
cool
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Neither.
am in bed in my jammies.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

I had to get up
My head was spinning when I was lying down. Damn Eurovision drinking.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

wow.
Good effort!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

well don't die without any undies on
what would your mum say?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

that's far too long to read when I'm bordering on running late and don't want to move

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

that's why i added the spiteful bit towards the end
it's pretty much about spite
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

indeed
right, to spite you all I'm off for a shower and then stuff and then other stuff
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

I better not say or the women will be flicking the bean like there is no tomorrow instead of getting on with the housework.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

I'm surprised you don't keep her blindfolded
otherwise the heavenly visage of yourself would cause her to go weak-kneed, then who would cook dinner?
( SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Or at least make her wear blinkers

( SuperMatt, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Who said that?

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

i have no formal or informal training in this area so i susspect my opinion would be little valued, or not, sorry, my current underwear is also of next to no interest to others i suspect, possibly, sorry, no offence
great times
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

next to no interest?
are you quite sure?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

I'm pushing my Sunday paper down the drain
grate Times
( broadsword, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

*spang*

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

My boxers are blue and made of 100% cotton.
they are thin, but very comfortable, being from Next and all. Unless I'm mistaken, they were made in Indonesia, but I don't think it would be practical to take them off and look. 9/10.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

ahhh yes indonesia second only to china for its SEZ's

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Adams' Equity Theory could be applied here.
Black.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

i wish my boss wa aware of this before i
smashed him on the conk
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

I'm watching a clever clever documentary on iPlayer.
Life and religion was so much more fun in the middle ages.
www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00b413s/Inside_the_Medieval_Mind_Belief/
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

Everyone knew their place then.
And were grateful for it.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 17 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

This is a bit shit on Roland
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/8051982.stm

Calling him short tail and fat
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

RO
LAND
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

Whilst I am a bit dubious about the whole HEALTH AND SAFETY GONE MAD claim
This is very silly. Is there no room for individualism left anymore?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

We will all conform, citizen.

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

I'd like to believe
that you sported a cravat at school.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

some kids at my primary school
had clip-on or velcro-on ties. Generally it meant either:
- no one could be arsed teaching the child how to do a simple knot
or
- the child was too fucking stupid to manage to do a simple knot
and had nothing to do with health and safety, corporate image or anything else.
( Batsgirl, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

i remember being strangled by my tie by the cock of the school
for a wagon wheel
the next day i hit him with a 4 by 2.. we became mates after that.. kids are daft
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

I misread that

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

filthy minx

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

*minxes*

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

YOUR MUM is an instrument of social levelling.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Unless you have a reliable source for this
I'm going to have to bite my thumb at you, sir.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

You should probably wash it first
given the number of sailors cocks that preceded it up your mum's arse.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

I bet your mum still dresses you.
And you do sit down wees. Like a girl.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

I do sit down wees on your mum.
Like all the girls.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

This is your mum's house
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/may/15/china-sex-theme-park-love-land
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

This is your mum applying a vaginal douche
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/aug/18/usa.flooding
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

This is your mum bending over
www.randomn3ss.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/russia.jpg
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

These are your mum's genital piercings.
spacescience.arc.nasa.gov/images/Saturn_rings.jpg
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

This is your mum taking her knickers off
maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&ei=yOkPSpaAGIia_Abj3Z2jBA&q=mull+of+kintyre+map&ie=UTF8&t=h&ll=55.555049,-5.353088&spn=0.602763,1.779785&z=10
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

You're wanking to a map.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

You grow plants in your garden hoping they'll grow into porn-hedges like you found in the 80s.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

yes.
You hear hundreds of stories a year about young men burned to death in science labs after their ties have caught alight.

High visibility scarves?
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

Kids are inventive
they'll find new ways to burn each other/themselves.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

like setting fire to the gas taps,
some of which happened to be pointing directly at electrical sockets.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

Do science labs still exist in schools?
Surely they've been encased in 10ft thick concrete by now...you can't be TOO careful, after all.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

not concrete,
foam rubber, in case someone bumps into it whilst playing.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

They let them PLAY?!
Asking for trouble.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Hundreds of storys a year?
Maybe one story (which is probably not true) repeated over and over again Chinese Whisper style.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

[facepalm]

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

This ^
Oh MoT, you are indeed shit.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Link me to these hundreds of stories then.
It's the internet age, all the ones in the last 2/3 years will be online somewhere.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

You're taking the piss, right?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

I'm trying to work out how long I can keep it up.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

You fucking great big liar.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

Antagonising the internet is too easy.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Your mum says not long enough.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

17.3 mm

( broadsword, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

Are you hungover
or just stupid?
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Whilst a proper tie allows people to learn how to tie one.
I really hate those massive knots some kids have in their ties. They just look horrible.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

they are just copying the footballers
they fail at ties.
( MrA, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

all the girls did it at my school,
I don't think footballers were anything to do with it. I think it had more to do with annoying Mr Fraser.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

fucking good
peanutting was annoying
( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

peanutting?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

A neck wedgy.
You would get both ends of the tie and pull it hard so the knot ended up the size of a peanut. Strangulation was always a bit of a hoot at our school
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I'm so glad we didn't wear school uniform

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

cor!

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

we have to wear uniform.
it's hideous. I'm ashamed to wear it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

I wore school uniform far more after I left school
than I ever did while I was there
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

how does that work?
hang on.. filthy minx action again?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

*looks innocent*

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

unless it's yellow or something daft
most uniforms look pretty good.. from the outside though.. i know wearing them feels pretty restrictive
hence the reason they love this new rule where you can't mess about with your knot
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

Maroon
*always* looks horrible and ruins any other colour it's with.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

maroon and grey is a school uniform staple
both dirty enough colours to get a weeks worth out of
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

Oh god our uniform was terrible.
No long trousers until you were 14, Red, blue and yellow striped blazers and caps and a straw boater in the summer. This was in the East End of London (Leyton Grammar School) so we learnt to fight pretty damn quick. In fact any kids caught fighting were put in the boxing ring and made to fight properly.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

how archaic
neither my primary school nor high school had compulsory uniform, so we only wore them for prizegiving once a year, and when the choir and orchestra performed.
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

You have to keep in mind that he went to school in the 18th century.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

Terrible bullying.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

If we were caught out of uniform, even going home,
we would get 3 strokes of a lether strap to our arses. Even a crooked tie would get you one good hard whack with it. It was nicknamed 'The Snake' for some reason.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

people pay good money for that sort of thing

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

The funny thing was that
our school suddenly closed down without warning one Summer holliday. It turned out the head didn't have any qualifications (he owned the school) and was bumming some of the weaker kids. I had to do my final year at a very tough comprehensive school and left the day I was old enough.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

I can beat this.
white cotton sack shaped frock with green and maroon checks with a maroon jumper in summer - calf length wool pleated green and maroon tartan skirt, maroon jumper, black stockings and a green blazer and tie in winter.

I tell ya - the dress is a pedo's dream come true. Doesn't even need to rain for everybody to know what colour and kind of underwear you're wearing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

aaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm spent.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

hmmm have we met?
Don't think so. Nice to meet you. /shakes your hand.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

Air hair lair there!
I'm the attractive young chap that causes aquaplaning at bashes. I'm quite shy.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

Hmm well.
I've never been to a bash. So you're already one up on me *snickers*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

I 'one uped' on you when I read your post.
And I shall dedicate a few more next week. I can't believe I just said that. I'm normally so timid.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

It's nice to see you coming out of your shell...

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

it's nice to see him coming anywhere
so long as he cleans up afterwards
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

*girlie giggles*
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

oi
are you a man or mouse?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

*runs away*

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

Dunno about anyone else
but I am deeply aroused.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

I am now.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

I'm making a "hard" copy of that post
might need to have it laminated...
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

I'm ordering one done in A1, encapsulated in thick perspex.
You can never be too careful.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

Hahaha
in other news, I'm off to see Wilko and Norman tonight...pub rock isn't dead.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Oh nice one.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

oh there's more where that came from :D
/twirls ponytail while holding school books.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

You all dress like you're on Neighbours.
I've seen that documentary, so don't try and deny it.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

neighbours is utter wank
if you say that to my face I will cry.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

Neighbours isn't a documentary

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

...
What?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

boxing isn't proper fighting.
it's got rules.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

The glove we used would be banned these days.
They were about 50 years old even then. Heavy leather with dangling laces that could really hurt. Several kids left the ring bleeding and broken.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

*gets the horn*

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

a full windsor is the solution to this.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

school ties are never long enough to do a full Windsor

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

Are you from the north where they had to ration fabric?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

how long are school ties in the south?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

Long enough for a Full Windsor.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

here they're barely long enough for a half Windsor
certainly not long enough on my six year-old daughter to tuck both ends into the waistband of her skirt
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

six?!?
How the shuddering fuck can she be SIX?
*feels old*
( Batsgirl, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

she'll be seven in July
and t'other one will be five. and Mr V hasn't yet succumbed to my request for a new one
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

I know someone who has seven kids.
A nice enough woman, but I bet her fanny looks like a yawning donkey.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

mine come out through the sunroof

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

Oh that's not so bad then.
She had to have her gearbox taken out a while back.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

an automatic,
presumably.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

I never had a school tie when I was six.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

I need to get another school tie for younger one
because she starts school in August
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

Oh man.
Getting those tiny knots out, was such a pain in the arse.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

knot cock
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

7/10
Not bad for a tug.
*comedy foghorn*
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

Depends if you are the peanutter or the peanutee

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

you're such a bully :(

( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

Ah, the good old days of the school bully
dragging the freshers around like dogs by their ties. Happy days :)
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

of as
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

so if I've read that right,
Grange Hill, always notorious for corrupting Youth with its storylines about DRUGS and SEX and DEATH and so on, is now being lambasted for the dangerous act of encouraging children to think that it may be permissible for them to exercise control over exactly how their tie is tied?
( Batsgirl, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

just say NO

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

'as schools worry about health and safety worries'
christ
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

hahaha.
Excellent.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

If I got 68% in 25% of a module, what do I need to get in the other 75% to get above 60% overall?
I have no idea how to work it out.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

just go for 100%
then you won't have to stress about it.. think about.. or complain about it
seriously sweets.. just focus do your best for the short time you have left
AND YOU WILL BE FINE
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

okay...
there are a total of 400 points available (4x "100%")

To get 60% overall you need 60% of 400 which is 240.

You already got 68 of those in your first module, so you need another 172.

Spread over 3 more modules, that's 57.3% you need to get in each one.
( Batsgirl, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

You forgot to factor in one important detail
anybody who can't do basic arithmetic by the time they're at University should have been sent down the pit at age 13.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

My brain doesn't work with maths.
:(
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

I never went to university.
It is a well-established fact that I am thick as two short planks.
( Batsgirl, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

At least you could probably work out how long the short planks are
and how many you'd need to build a short pier.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

But a long pier,
that's going to need ADVANCED MATHS.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

The squaw on the hippopotamus type maths?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

And a brick pier.
It's just not going to happen.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

Cor, I did it right.
I knew that E in A-level Maths would come in handy.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

[drugs joke lol]

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

*imagines imaginary numbers*
*freaks out*
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

Oh that's less than I thought.
I can stop worrying now.

Ta. :)
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

Far too much working out there for such a simple problem.
My German lecturer would hate you.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

Then your German lecturer is a cock.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

To be fair, he did teach us computer programming.
And for something that was supposed to take 10 lines I used 5 pages.

He then taught me Classical mechanics and I got 90% in his exam, so we're best buds now.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

You were taught computer programming by somebody who thought brevity was more important than clarity?
He really must be a cock. I can see why you're buddies.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

Trust me, it was much clearer his way too.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

Utter bollocks.
He's a cock. You're a cock. Cocks of a feather.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

:( why do I cry everytime someone is mean to me :(

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

I'm blaming YOU for all the programme bloat that's affecting us all in these modern times of cheap storage
and cheap processing power. I'm disgusted.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

No offence, great, brill, good times, etc.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

Programme bloat my cock.
If it's bloated then hand assemble it or use a compiler that isn't shit. I was an embedded programmer for ten years ... I could squeeze a perl description of your mum's labia minora into less than a kilobyte.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

But could you squeeze MoT into 10 lines?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

Only if they're the lines of a rusty grid covering an ancient victorian sewer.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

on the other hand,
my maths teacher would burst into tears of gratitude that his repeated mantra of "always show your working" had sunk in. Apparently for all of the maths GCSE questions there were four points available, and you could pick up one or two of them even if your final answer was wrong, if you had demonstrated your working-out correctly and the only problem was that you'd accidentally transposed two digits, or made an arithmetical error that was so simple you hadn't realised.
( Batsgirl, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

Yeah but that's GCSE maths,
where the main focus of the course is to show you understand how to do it, the final result is important but not massively so.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

57% I reckon.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

If it's a probability exam
you're fucked
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

It's French Renaissance literature luckily.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

Rabelais?
/only French renaissance author I have read blog
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

Yeah, Rabelais, Marguerite de Navarre, Ronsard and Montaigne.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

Rabelais is the fucking nuts

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

There's your exam answer, Limey
now go and get drunk.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

Hmmmm
I'll stick to writing subjective rubbish about pretty pictures, ta!
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

coffee/screen

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

60 - (8 / 3)

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

What's the working out? How did you do it?
I want to try and work out the bare minimum I need to get a 2:1 overall.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

Ignore it.
It's the type of answer that would get you a C- in a smug exam and a straight fail in anything else.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

You got 68%. That's 60 + 8, obviously.
If you want 60% overall, you can lose a third of that extra 8% each time.

lol bad explanation.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

Ooooh.
I've already got a 2:1. As long as I don't score less than 55 in ant of my exams, I've already got enough upper second marks to bump me up. But that is a big if. Hmmmmmm.

RESULT.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

I have the exact mark I need for everything I have left written in big on my wall.
It's easy enough to attain, but I've handed in my dissertation and I've still got my second Viva, so I have no idea what mark that got me.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

big hands, miss

( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

i'm not going to form an opinion on this, sorry, no offence
great times
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

I think it fair that we do speak out on issues concerened with the health and safety of our children.
Not forming an opinion offends me. No offence.
Spiffing.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

other people are welcome to their opinions, or not, i'm just not forming one, no offence
great times
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

strangualtes with tie like material
using the japanese under buttock technique.. great times or just smashing?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

forum banter, great times

( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

well if that's the way it is, and i assume it is, congrats hearty manpunch on the arm
love you lots
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

What the fuck?
Kids have been wearing ties to school for over a century, and they are doing this over "fears"?

As for the thing about knot size - fuck off. For fuck's sake. Fuck.

Fucking fuck fuck.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

Double Windsor FTW

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

There is no such knot as the Double Windsor
the knot to which you are referring is the Full Windsor, and is the mark of the cad, so says James Bond.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

I'll have you know that the Full windsor is infact, the knot of the ghetto.
Double Windsor - Tie The Phatest Knot Ever - Video

2 min 8 sec - 20 Jun 2007
Tie a knot like a pimp! I show you step by step how to tie a ballsy knot to go with your power suit every day. A real man knows how to tie a phat knot.
www.metacafe.com/watch/680611/
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

OH NOES!
WE MUSNT HAVE CHILDS WITH SHORT TIES AND SOME CHILDS WITH LONG TIES!!! THEWORLDWILLFALLINTODESPAIRANDRUINATTHESIGHTOFIDFFERENTIALLYLENGTHENEDTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

I fancy you.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

Everyone fancies me.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

Well, duh.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

you're just saying that to get to do rude things

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

He wants you to do a Kingha

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

a what now?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

A Khinga ( or how ever you spell it)
Some bird of Big Brother a few years back who shoved a bottle of champers um her foof. On Telly.

Her Dad must have been well proud.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

a whole bottle?
baggy
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Just the neck.

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

ahh
how very narrow and smooth then
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

fucking OUCH.
Part of my brain is going "which way up? bottle or magnum?" but really I don't think I want to know.
( Batsgirl, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

well, you see those x-rays don't you
of whole things stuck in blokes, so it makes you wonder
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

why do people always worry about what the lady's dad must think?
mind you, he probably had a quick one off the wrist while mrs khinga was out of the room
( spacefish bong!, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

Wiki say...
During her relatively short stay in the (big brother) house Kinga acted wildly. She developed a rather surprising bond with Derek, with each of them often singing serenades to one another, and Derek (a homosexual) curiously fondling her breasts while the two were in the pool. She is infamous for, at the peak of her drunken craziness, lying in the garden and masturbating with a wine bottle.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

Shoved a bottle up her clunge.
There you go.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

www.kingakarolczak.com/
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

under links.
two other 'house mate' sites are there, only one works.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

Lovely.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

I did a little sick in my mouth.

( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

You love Roman Showers.

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

*looks confused*
I'm too innocent to know what you're on about.

Hello sweet-cheeks, how the devil are you?
( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

Tired.
I have hardly slept - I didn't nod off until after 4, then I was awoken at half 5 by a bee stuck in my bedroom.

Then I couldn't sleep again. :(
( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

terrible!
I hope you flung the bee out, so it gets eaten by something.
( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Aw noooo, we need bees.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

Bees are ace.
They even have their own film, that's how ace they are.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

I did. But extracting it was made more difficult by the fact it had got itself stuck in the little gap between my window and the windowsill.
Silly cat face.
( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

Should have sprayed it with Mr Muscle.

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

It's like a golden shower, but using a firework.

( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

yeah, take a ticket and wait for your number to be called

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

I've told you
it's over.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

Not you.
YOU.
*points*
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

Slapper
after everything you said.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

laters cuntyballs, I'm going outside

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

Follow the green cross code
or you'll be sorry.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

My heart belongs to JMG

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

:'(

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

Meet you round behind the bike sheds in ten minutes?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

I'll meat YOU round the bike sheds, you dirty Roman.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I'm way out of your league.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

You're the Vauxhall Conference to my Serie A.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I was about to say you're no Honda Accord, but this isn't about cars, is it.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

The last time I paid any attention to football, the non-league shit-but-above-average Sunday league teams
were in the Vauxhall Conference league. You know, the league that has dreams of reaching the giddy heights of Division 3.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

I totally understood that.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

Good.
I've no idea what that league is called now.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

Glad i'm not the only one.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

You're only human.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

*hugs* or GTFO

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

Well to be honest, I'm not surprised.
Being the Adonis I am it is no wonder that many a lezza has been cured and many a straight guy turned poofmosexual when I walk in the room.
*poses*
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

the Adonis I am it is no wonder that many a lezza has been cured and many a straight guy turned when I walk in the room a
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

Back to your trough you.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

I fancy you too.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

Fraaaaaaan?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

Hello.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Good grief.
Why on earth would you do a thing like that?
( Batsgirl, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

I think your eyes are wrong.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

I should really have a shower.
Even the dog is avoiding me and he stinks.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

Oh it's you.
I thought it was a broken pipe or something.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

I think their are crowds with pichforks and burning torches, on their way.
Holding their noses.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

Good morning.
I've spent the last hour going sorting out emails. Nothing much interesting, but I've seen another two gigs I want to go to. I love live music, but I need a greater amount of some moneys.
Who's making breakfast?
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

i'm sure many people are, some probably aren't, i don't really know, no offence
great
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

Would you have fish for breakfast?
I've got a couple of kippers in the freezer.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

personaly i do not eat fish, although i know many people enjoy fish as a food source, no offence
great times
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

What do you like to eat?

( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

i'm not really sure, i'll have a think about it, sorry for this, no offence
great
( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

gaz me when you've thought about it.

( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

you don't eat fish but you will happily sit for hours on the off chance of being able to torture one for hours
before ripping of its lip
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

forum banter, great times

( mongychops, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

I'm not sure I can handle the excitement of b3ta this morning
*checks pants nervously*
( broadsword, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

/talk - The site standing its own in the corner of the internet party.

( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

Its own internet party.
edit: I always thought it needed that apostrophe.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

i'm deep frying twenty pound notes
they are so chav
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sun 17 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

Not I.
I'm not doing much of anything.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

I've just put sausages on.
I'll post one to you.
( Druid, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

Mmmmm, *awaits*

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

We have no food for breakfast.
I might just have coffee. I wish I still smoked.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Noit just walked past the kettle and wouldn't turn it on.
What a cunt.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

that was mean,
I laughed.
( jenpots, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

It is mean, isn't it.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

if it's any consolation, I've had a massive breakfast and a couple of fags
and I have a nice cup of coffee
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

I hate you.
Give me a fag.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

nooooooooooooooooooooo, you've stopped!
no fags for Esme

I meanwhile get to enjoy the lung-rotting nicotine rush of impending emphysema
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

You fucking cunt.
I HOPE YOU DIE ROARING.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

:(

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

Not really.
I luff woo.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

Five foot sausages, twelve foot bacon.
Good times.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

Me
bacon butty, coffee and 5x Embassy Regal.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

the geordie stereotype detector just went right off the scale here

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

AYE CANNY FETTLE BONNY LAD
I might do some flower arranging to balance things out.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:18, archived)