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I tried making a song about Basingstoke using FL Studio this evening.
It was shit.
It was so shit Roanewah would've stuck his cock in it while doing impersonations of John Inman if John Inman were the biggest wanker on the planet.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:10, archived)

Basingstoke is pretty shit, so this would be apt

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:11, archived)

Hard to rhyme, too.

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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:16, archived)

amazing coke
(h)
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)

Which reminds me
*snorts*
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broadsword, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:19, archived)

living the marbella life lol :D
have you seen ´the business´? some of that was filmed on streets near me ;)
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:20, archived)

Seen it, wasn't it filmed in Almeria?

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broadsword, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)

filmed in different parts
I think La Linea, Gibraltar at the beginning and end bits, and I thought marbella and somewhere in the country for the rest. Could be Almeria.... not been there meself!
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:23, archived)

Dunno, I know the Sky TV programme the Villa is filmed not far from here
think Sexy Beast was up towards Almeria & The Business the other side
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broadsword, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:25, archived)

Something I've been doing this evening
is to tell people how shit they are on MSN, or say something quite offensive, wait for a reaction then say "oops sorry, wrong box". God I'm bored/dull/a pipe smoking cunt/whatever.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)

I actually love doing this
*moderately anti-social fives*
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)

yeah!
People I know are shit, I might trade them all in for new friends.
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:22, archived)

Well I'm still waiting for the offensive message to me

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turb0t, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:19, archived)

But I know your joke now
so it wouldn't work anyway.
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turb0t, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)

I told a girl at work on msn she should dump her bf if she wants anything with me
but truth be told, i don´t want anything to happen with me and her, I just fucking hate her boring as fuck boyfriend coming out with us all after work.
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:19, archived)

Try coming on to him.
Could sour things a bit, he might stop going out with you after work.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:23, archived)

This has the potential to back fire though.

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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:25, archived)

he´s a gibbo cunt
if we play pool, even with girls, he has gibraltarian rules... that if you hit a ball.. but the white doesn´t touch a cushion.. it´s a foul and you have to give 2 shots.

seriously... *facepalm*

this is why i hate gibbos
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:28, archived)

Breed 77 are nice lads.
Excellent band too.
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The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:32, archived)

wow
nice to see some people in Gib made an effort with something

I know Gibbo´s who have never left the rock.. not even a 10 minute walk into Spain.
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:33, archived)

It is a bit of a shitty place though.
I wouldn't stay there long. I expected a sort of Spanish island where they spoke English, but it was like a really scruffy English town where all the food comes with chips.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:36, archived)

yeah, i lasted 4 months there
the new ocean village is really nice though. quite suave.
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:38, archived)

I liked the apes up on the rock
Nicer than most of the locals.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:39, archived)

:)
Tarifa, Cadiz, Sevilla, Huelva are the best places to go though

anyways, off to watch The Last House on the Left.

Hasta luego maricones
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:42, archived)

that's...
that's brilliant
(

weaver., Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:30, archived)

haha, talentless spastic

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:11, archived)

Yes.
I may killol myself.
In fifteen minutes.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:12, archived)

send me an mp3 of you singing the words and I'll make it into a proper shit tune for you
you shitcunt
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:13, archived)

It wasn't quite like that.
Hang on...
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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:13, archived)

Look...
www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/onsite/mp3/9d1a18c81c4ca7af6aee8da497e1ae8a_basingstokeraisingfolk2.mp3

It's beyond hope. I'm starting to get my head round FL Studio though. Which is nice.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:16, archived)

go and stick your head down the toilet you ape

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)

It's how Lady Gaga would sound if she knew about syncopation.

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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)

I'm told I have a tendancy to syncopate.
I don't really know what this means.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:19, archived)

It's putting in off-beat rhythmic accents.
Not just duh - DUH - duh - DUH - duh - DUH - duh - DUH like someone banging their head against the wall.

Lots of early jazz is packed to the brim with it.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:22, archived)

I like jazz.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:23, archived)

no you don't
no one likes jazz

people just pretend to like it because they're wankers
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:26, archived)

I like jazz cos black people are cool

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:32, archived)

omg.... i didn´t think it could be THAT shit

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:31, archived)

I might make some Pimm's in a bit

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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:12, archived)

bi ha
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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:13, archived)

I'm VERY interested in this.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:13, archived)

h c
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)

a o
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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:19, archived)

is that what ladies say when they want to go take a shit

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:13, archived)

I'M GOING TO SHAKE A TROUSER MARTINI

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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:14, archived)

Pimms is shit
I dont enjoy it, in the company of ladies, when it looks like its the only booze I'll get

but really

pimms
(

broadsword, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:14, archived)

I like to get slowly drunk off it in the blazing heat
I might just pour some into a wine glass to save time.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:15, archived)

I think I missed several words out of my post
but y'know, you pa

nuts
(

broadsword, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)

loldrunk

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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:24, archived)

It's very good to get drunk on in hot weather.
Maybe because it's so easy to drink because it doesn't really taste alcoholic.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:20, archived)

THIS

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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)

That was probably a clever post
if only I knew what I was banging on about
(

broadsword, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:28, archived)

idiot

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:12, archived)

CAN I SUCK YOUR COCK
oops caps lock etc
(

broadsword, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:13, archived)

CRUISE CONTROL etc rofl

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:15, archived)

yes

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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)

Also, don't cuss Roanehawhaw
we bully the poor misunderstood ~~fuckwit~~ chap too much
(

broadsword, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:32, archived)

I hope he is crippled by some skinheads.

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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:35, archived)

haha, that would be ace
I'd laugh quite a fair bit if that happened
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:37, archived)

I'd be there handing out refreshments.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:39, archived)

You know how, like, you find out a friend is a massive racist?
How do you deal with that?
(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:19, archived)

laugh, roll your eyes
and remind yourself that racism and xenophobia are an inherent part of post-Communist culture
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)

This is someone I've been up
& was toying with another bash on my imminent uk jaunt
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broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:21, archived)

you fucked a racist?

(

MrA, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)

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broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:25, archived)

did they wear a hood?

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MrA, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:30, archived)

BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST
BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST BROADSWORD FUCKED A RACIST
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:32, archived)

Cheers for that Gonz, not sure what I did to upset you but whatever floats your pickle

(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:34, archived)

Haha =)

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:38, archived)

~~BROADSWORD~~ GONZO
~~A RACIST~~ PICKLE FAIRY

perspective here please
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:36, archived)

Bit slow there gilgy.

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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:45, archived)

I had to keep stopping to vomit

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:46, archived)

Bullying.

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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)

You work yourself up into a real righteous frenzy, really psyching yourself up for the kill.
And then you get over yourself and grow up.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)

Everybody should be racist.
Thank you common sense.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)

hark, baldy! the larger community hath spake

(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)

I'm BOUND to be blamed.

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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:28, archived)

postin dis hear
b3ta.com/talk/6271435
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)

Hahaha!
Yes!
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:27, archived)

Another great result for Team Aberdeen.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:29, archived)

DON'T SAY "ABERDEEN"!
I think there's a movement against it being used to describe rough or fat people.
:(

I'll never fit in on here.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:31, archived)

you decide whether you can cope with them being a racist
If they are a good friend then you take them as they come and ignore their comments if not then tell them to fuck off.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)

This would probably be good advice
if you'd taken shagging into account
(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)

Also, she was a bit stalkery
wouldn't it be funny if she'd read all this
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broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)

Why is it not good advice even with shagging
you don't HAVE to shag her you know.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)

I AM MAN
I HAVE COCK
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broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:26, archived)

well if you're just using her because you've currently got more dirty water than a chinese laundry then that's ok
but there's no way I'd enter into any kind of relationship with a gibbering mouth-frother of a racist psycho stalker
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:28, archived)

*hands over "Not Syncubus" award*
Or the "Not"... wait, best not mention that, in case shit goes down again.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:29, archived)

at least she won´t run off with a black man

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:27, archived)

I remember going on a date with a girl who said,
"well, I'm not racist I just fuckin' hate somalians". Last time I saw her, not solely because of that, she also had a face like a pug.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:33, archived)

Where do those Somalians get off, fleeing an anarchic war zone?

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:38, archived)

Any minute now, some insufferable pedant is going to crow "actually, it's not anarchy at all"
then reel off a potted history of Somalia and push their glasses back up their nose.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:40, archived)

i can smell a b3tan on wiki trying to pretend he knows it all

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:52, archived)

I've just edited the wiki page.
Somalia is a small town in southern France. It is well known for the conflict between the native indians and genghis khan.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:57, archived)

You can smell a b3tan?
Here, have this sick-bag.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:58, archived)

that´s unfair
give it back to SSG
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 0:07, archived)

Can't beat him to death?
Then join him or something.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:21, archived)

tell him you're really black

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:21, archived)

Didn't stop you :(

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broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)

I wasn't going to stop until you said the safe word

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)

I love you.
RIGHT up the anus.
(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:50, archived)

kill a black in their honour

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(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)

saber
to the knackers
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)

Then they wouldn't be my friend.
/Wicca'd
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)

I kick his black ass

(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:25, archived)

A South African woman put it straight to me in Dubai when she invited me over for a meal
"I´m going to be honest with you Richard. I don´t like Niggers."

*stunned silence*

"they are a problem in my country"

hmmmmmm
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:27, archived)

what she meant to say was "we are a problem in their country"

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:33, archived)

Report them to the police, naturally.
Or turn them over to a slaughterhouse, since they've got no other use.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:28, archived)

Tough one.
Give him an 'unimpressed' look when he/she says something racist. Usually gets the message across.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:58, archived)

Tonight we watched the remake of The Last House On The Left
I give it 8/10 stars, it loses points due to the low quality pants the girl is wearing when being raped in the woods.

Recently, A Haunting in Connecticut was also watched, it gains 7.5/10, mostly for the slightly scary priest who was clearly trying to get into the boys pants.

Seen any good movies recently?

If not, do you prefer boxer shorts or pants?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:10, archived)

yes

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:10, archived)

Can you tell us?

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

yes, yes I can

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

Good.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

Sweet

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Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

Go on. Yes.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

I think I'll definately be the best thing about this thread.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

yes, definately

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:35, archived)

Yes.
I prefer one of those 2.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

We watched the uncut version of a haunting, it did ramble somewhat but it got a bit creepy and it was a reasonably original story

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

I get scared during horror films.
I went with a girl and had to hold her hand.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:13, archived)

Drag me to hell hit all my jump buttons
Very good film
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:14, archived)

We went to that as well.
I am so not trusting her judgement again.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:15, archived)

Dont go and see the little mermaid then
Its got a crab that speaks! :(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:16, archived)

FUUUUUUUUUCK

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:17, archived)

Boxers, but cotton stretchy things
not even sure if they are boxers, boxers I find uncomfortable.

Hello Mykey, ignored anyone good lately?
(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

for lady people I actually like normal cotton pants
myself, boxers man. I like my tiny wang to feel the breeze.
(

MrA, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

Watched Sin City for the first time the other day.
Good film. Strange but very good.

Boxers are brill.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

It is good
Mrs Mykeyboy really likes it, i enjoyed it but its not my favourite
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

Bruce Willis is dead from the start

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:18, archived)

I have ADHD and can't enjoy films at the cinema.
The adverts and trailers are great though.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

haha, spastic

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

*click*

(

MrA, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:13, archived)

French Nicks here mate.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

I always saw you as a no knicker lady
You know, so when you froth at the gash it leaves a crusty white stain on the inside of your jeans.

:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:14, archived)

Watched Taxi Driver.
Boxers.
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

WHy are b3tans so obsessed with each others underwear?
what colour?
(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:15, archived)

white with pink hearts on

(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:15, archived)

deffo not going to reply to this

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:17, archived)

shorts, but the trunk style ones
they're lovely pants indeed.

I haven't really been to the cinema in ages, I should go tomorrow evening.
(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:13, archived)

GO

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:15, archived)

CALM DOWN PORKY I'M GOING I'M GOING

(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:18, archived)

PANTS

i like my balls nice and snug
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:13, archived)

I also like your balls.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:15, archived)

well, I do moisturize

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:16, archived)

If I ever take over an underwear company, amongst other perverted and depraved acts,
I would launch a range of mens underwear called "Commando" just to really confuse things.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:14, archived)

I'm currently watching 'Being There'.
Peter Sellers is great.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:15, archived)

Oh, and I'm currently wearing boxers.
I do prefer them over pants.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:17, archived)

i can't wait to see this glory
www.fliqz.com/aspx/permalinkblank.aspx?vid=765ce58525ea4c07a85e8aa00e399563
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:16, archived)

I watched this the other day, it looks mental
Like Machine Girl... i think thats the title anyway. The one where the schoolgirl has a machine gun for a leg.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:17, archived)

downloading the the last house on the left right now
I really enjoyed Martyrs and The Signal thanks to guys recommending stuff on b3ta. Los cronocrímenes was a bit crappy and obvious though. Tonight i´m gonna watch ´flame and citron´.

alone. :(
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:31, archived)

I'm struck down with a terrible flu.
My sinuses feel swollen to the point I fear of getting "fuller b3tan's cheeks".
As I've had to pass the time between sleeping and that, I've been enjoying Tiger Woods 10 and Fight Night Round 4.
Some excellent banter there.

But let us get to the real issue.
Who's going to be first to have a go at me after a couple Bacardi and lemons?
It's Friday.. You're miserable..
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:48, archived)

two people in my floor of 30 ish have proper swine flu now
I'm dreading having to take time off work :(
(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)

Maybe the gays are immune to swine flu?
I've not read of any bent deaths.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)

high levels of FABULOUS clearly break down the virus

(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

Good old Moohalaa!
I'd have to say you're my favourite fruit.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:59, archived)

I was sitting reading the paper in a green face mask earlier
not unlike this. I knew you would be proud.
(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:02, archived)

I hope there was no shock headlines.
You'd have to re-apply. I've heard.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:02, archived)

I clicked, expecting to see a ball gag

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:03, archived)

mffmf mfmfm mmmnphbb mmlmfppohlb!*
*I'm upset at the internet!
(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:05, archived)

oh man, you've got drool on the sudoku

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)

Do you live in a prison?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)

Do you want him to?

(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)

Hell yeah.
With extra tats.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

This is getting into an area I know nothing about
yet am strangely aroused
(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)

Scrub that.
I was jumping to the conclusion that this floor was where you live and it is considerably more likely that it is where you work. What a twat.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)

Get the vaccine, it will make you ok.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

SWINE FLU
APPLY BACON
(

MrA, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)

man flu!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)

WE CAN SEE THROUGH OUR ILLNESSES TOGETHER, SSG!
You lovely young man.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)

hectic weeks mean
lazy friday nights
(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)

Chin up about the illness
I'm feeling rather chipper, new job today and several pints to celebrate!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)

Why thank you!
The best thing about the job? It is in a brewery, yep, i'm an apprentice brewer now!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

Lesson 1
How to hold a piss up in a brewery, right?
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

I'm not going to have a go
obviously I would do normally, but not if you are ill
(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)

When you die, I'll start a group on facebook in your memory.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)

It'll be like the wailing wall.
As opposed to the actual wailing wall I find myself being on here.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)

H1N1

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)

Who will cause upset while JMG is unwell?

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

And I am a bit miserable.
My bloody boiler has excelled itself by leaking on my belongings, for about the 10th time.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

After the ninth time most people would have stoped storing stuff under the boiler and left a bucket there.
Or got it fixed.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

Thing is,
it soaks into the carpet, into the floorboards and into the kitchen. I don't keep my stuff under my boiler anymore. Thngs around it get wet too though. It's been fixed many, many times, still leaks. There is a bucket under there, there always is but this time it flowed behind the bucket.

That seems pretty concise
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)

It quite plainly has not been fixed.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:03, archived)

...Yep it has, usually the same part which breaks. Serviced regularly too.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:05, archived)

Margaret Thatcher.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

wow
you almost made made a real post
*firm handshakes*
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

wow
you almost didn't use a JMG catchphrase
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:02, archived)

i spelt wrong two
gilgy.. suprised you didn't whine about that
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)

upset at me AND JMG in the space of two posts, this is a new record

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:10, archived)

Oh JMG MTV's top 100 Ibiza Anthems is anything but that
I am wholly disappointed :(
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

How Yomanda Synth and Strings can be at 62 I will never know
And according to the internet Stardust is number one, this can fuck off commercial shit, Cafe del mar at number 4 this should be at least 2 places higher, MTV have got some serious Dance issues JMG I am officially having an online wobble about this.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)

I mean have MTV even been to Ibiza?
Cream, Gatecrasher HMMMMMM HMMMMMMMMMM? You'd think they hadn't.

I can see the DJ's cringing at the shit they are having to spout.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)

Armand Van Heldan has moved from it's previous spot of 39 to number 8 so I will let them off for thagt one as it's a much more fitting position for such a classic.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:05, archived)

62 too low or too high?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)

Fucking Yomanda should be in the top 10 mate
Along with the likes of Ayla, William Orbit, Tiesto, Ferry Corsten and planet perfecto, but none of them are even IN the chart.

THAT is Ibiza!
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)

I hope you're feeling better soon JMG
so your mum won't have to stay home from bingo to look after you
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)

I've probably lined my pockets with emergency dole in case I run out of bald cream for my phoning Esme.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:03, archived)

I'm drinking STELLA, The JMG.
All is well in Gobshite Towers.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 23:08, archived)

Fuck this shit
Anyone fancy a pint?
(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:37, archived)

no

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:37, archived)

Naw thanks
I've just had dinner and I'm feeling quite full.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:37, archived)

I want a pint of you.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:37, archived)

Sure do,
me and gilgers would love to join you for a booze.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:37, archived)

of what?

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:38, archived)

Rectal mucus.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)

Yes!

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:38, archived)

as long as there's no shitcunts there with user numbers over 50,000 I'm up for that

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:38, archived)

I'm so glad I'm part of the -12000 massive

(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)

haha, you're a gem.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)

Fuck, 1129 out.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)

it went bad immediately after i joined.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:43, archived)

Nope, had quite a few already tonight and I have work tomorrow.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)

Is Cr3 around? Has anybody seen Cr3?
Cr3? Anybody? Cr3?
(

St. Defenestration The REAL one, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)

Nope, not for a while anyway.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)

GAZ I'M A CUNT.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)

are you going to report someone for bullying?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)

No, but I can if you want me to

(

St. Defenestration The REAL one, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:43, archived)

let's pretend Friz bullied me, see if we can get him banned for being such a needy fat-faced shitcunt

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)

but then who will satisfy our fat-faced needs?

(

St. Defenestration The REAL one, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)

i feel sorry for him.
he did not get into the newsletter, did you hear? :(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)

haha, yes
this is mainly because he isn't funny though

so I can't really have much sympathy there
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)

fancy buying me one?

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)

tonic water, ice, lime and lemon please

(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:48, archived)

I've bee wearing pants today which allow for a certain amount of 'escapage'.
I've had to spend most of my day surruptitiously adjusting myself. It's a very uncomfortable feeling to be discussing SERIOUS BUSINESS with a female consultant, who is not in the first flush of youth, whilst my cock is escaping from my undies.

What makes you uncomfortable?
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:28, archived)

And just for SexFace
uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090703/tod-house-wrecked-as-man-kills-weeds-wit-86d1698.html
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:28, archived)

mmmmm.... bee pants.
buzzy.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:28, archived)

BEEDOGS

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:33, archived)

GUINEA BEES
/SouthPark
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:34, archived)

Job Interviews.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:29, archived)

Really ugly women having their fat tits pouring out of their blouses half a metre away from my face
while we're trying to discuss Verbs As Nouns.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:30, archived)

I only want to be comfortable
:(
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:32, archived)

and to be fair, you were 6 metres away at the time.
lols. *hug*
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:44, archived)

shit, just re-read the original post.
~~ugly~~

sorry dear.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:53, archived)

but I always do my homework!

(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:36, archived)

For example:
Madam, your fat-tit parading disgusts me.

Now repeat.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:47, archived)

'stop looking at my tits'
'That's good, but how about we say it this way? "I'm having a look at your tits"
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:50, archived)

"and now you are mmm, how you say, feeling a cop?"

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:51, archived)

I also used the "what do you call a fly without any wings" joke seven times today
No-one understood it.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:51, archived)

the thought of having to drink 4 litres of laxatives before my colonoscopy :(
having a camera shoved up my arse isn't half as scary as the thought that I will spend a whole day on the loo in agony
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:31, archived)

That's a Morning Poo that'll rate in the minus figures :(

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:33, archived)

It is, I laughed on my way out the hospital today because I thought of posting a morning poo report on that day.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:33, archived)

I've said it before nd I'll say it again.
There's b3tans out there, who, as they expire in a pool of blood, spunk and shit will think 'I MUST tell /talk about this'.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:36, archived)

Oh come on I'm not that bad
I never even posted about the bitch fight the other night down the road with 2 20 something women holding another woman back whilst the girl who was on her own and also about 25 was stood with her fingers in her ears shouting "SHITTY BUM SHITTY BUM" over and over.

I could have posted abotu that but I didn't.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:38, archived)

You were right not to post.
You should have been out there with a camcorder.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:39, archived)

Oh how I wish I could have

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:41, archived)

shitty bim, shitty bum
shitty bum bum bum bum bum bubum
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:48, archived)

That is all kinds of wonderful.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:53, archived)

yesssss utreg me stadsie!!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:56, archived)

I'll be honest here, I try to be tolerant of all the alternate sexualities but I fucking hate transvestites
seriously, fuck off transvestite weirdo shits
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:32, archived)

What about people who fancy underage cartoon women?

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:33, archived)

that's not an alternate sexuality, that's being a paedophile

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:34, archived)

So, what about someone who'd playa computer game with teenage anime girls in it?
And go to all the trouble of unlocking some of the more 'erotic' modes?
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:37, archived)

I fully support the creation of death camps for these miserable human failures

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:41, archived)

www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=hitler+furries
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:53, archived)

what about that recent photo of Jessica Rabbit where she almost looks like a real woman?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:46, archived)

i'm quite fond of them.
oh yeah.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:48, archived)

I am as pissed as a pudding
bookmark any posts, they're sure to be embarassing
(

broadsword, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:38, archived)

receiving

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:40, archived)

Hot sweaty jobs at work.
Air temperature of about 50C sometimes.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:52, archived)

Mrs Zuki has this problem.
it's rubbesh.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:55, archived)

Oooh what does she do?
I'm quite excited as my job is new and quite cool (I think).

I do get quite sweaty though and I have to wear long sleeves, trousers and prtective clothing most of the time.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:57, archived)

Don't let her overhear.
She's a hi-vis fetishist.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:10, archived)

Oh, ok....shhhhh!
If she wants some titilation, tell her the steel toecaps on my wellies are orange. Yep, that is right, orange.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:20, archived)

Middle-aged women in work telling jokes.
That aren't funny. Then laughing at them.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:58, archived)

What do you call a fly with no wings?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:02, archived)

Anything, they are deaf without wings.
You can shout 'fly away' as loud as you like and the little fucker won't.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 22:06, archived)

Every time I watch Peep Show, in my head I sing "I'm a Nazi, but I'm not well."
I don't think I've ever sung it to anyone else because it's not even funny, but it amuses me anyway.
What's your favourite small pleasure?
(

Malchick, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:21, archived)

*points to crotch*

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:22, archived)

*bonus points to balls*

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:23, archived)

I've never seen Peep Show
it sounds like a load of horseshit for student wankers though
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:23, archived)

Yeah. well, I don't really care for Matrix Revolutions
/hits where it hurts
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:25, archived)

dude, that was low
really uncalled for
(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:26, archived)

how are you coping this evening,
after the whole "newsletter" abomination?
*cuddle*
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:26, archived)

I'm coping..
*sniff*
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:26, archived)

I actually feel sorry for him.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:27, archived)

WORSE THAN PISS, KARL
WORSE THAN PISS.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:27, archived)

it's pretty good,
really.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:25, archived)

I like it.
And I know you care deeply about internet opinions.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:26, archived)

wearing a good smart suit to meetings
with lurid multicolored socks and boxers underneath
(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:25, archived)

and facemasks
lurid coloured facemasks
(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:26, archived)

Tea and a DVD.
And biscuits.

Aaah.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:27, archived)

Why do suicide bombers wear detonator necklaces?
It sets the outfit off.

/just found on my best-of-talk page

I used to be funny. What were you 3 years ago?
(

Malchick, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:39, archived)

A lazy bastard.
I've mostly dropped the 'lazy' now.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

Younger and fatter

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

Just about to drive to Mongolia

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

fuck, my profile picture is three years old
I wish I could still have a mullet
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:55, archived)

that chemical accident really changed things for you

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:57, archived)

for the better
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:02, archived)

15.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

aw wickle baybee

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

Three years younger

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

ALIIIIIIIIIIVE

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:42, archived)

Also
Owen left Liverpool, they won the European Cup. He joined Real Madrid, won nothing. He joined Newcastle, they got relegated. Man Utd fans, enjoy...
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:46, archived)

A basket case
so nothing's changed
(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:43, archived)

In Risca, training to be a mechanical engineer.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:46, archived)

~~engin~~ qu
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:01, archived)

That would have been much more exciting.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 21:12, archived)

employed.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:48, archived)

the rootinest, tootinest varmint around

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:52, archived)

Sorry, no need for a new thread.
but anyway,
where can i find the b3ta user list? looking for my old login.
In other news. lolmurray.
what last made you smile?
obviously not this post
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)

My boss handing in his notice today!

(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)

who did he hand it in to?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

Head of dept silly

(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:21, archived)

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

My car has five of these little red slots marked "press"
but the creases in my trousers are still there
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:23, archived)

they're for journalists only.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)

I wondered why they worked for half of my friends :(

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)

to keep their Hairy Kirry?

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:23, archived)

for the lulz

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:29, archived)

I reckon it's so they don't get hurt on their way, or something like that.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:54, archived)

STOP PANDERING TO ME BOU

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:21, archived)

Boug off 'Zuki

(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

Opening this beer.
Also, the new Isis album.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

did you listen to that aereogramme album in the end?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:21, archived)

That split CD is on order, should arrive in the next few days.
I've also preordered the new YOB album.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:23, archived)

Isis.
*thumbs up!*
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

Get your fucking thumbs out of there

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:37, archived)

no.
*wiggles thumbs*
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:38, archived)

my dog

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:21, archived)

far.....tooo....easy....

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

I've also got beer.
Jamaica? Yes, actually, it's Red Stripe.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)

Wine.
I'm fucking cultured. like a disease.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:32, archived)

I don't think they have it any more.
Something to do with the server load of writing 70,000 usernames.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:21, archived)

[CONFIRMED]

(

weaver., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:25, archived)

bah.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)

Right, I'm going to start drinking now,
I'll stop when the Ashes are over.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:37, archived)

So like, what's your 8th best talk post?
www.b3ta.com/search/talk/me/best
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:43, archived)

some ascii rubbish

(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/2589239
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)

Dear Deidre
"Now that my girlfriend has got so fat I can only make love to her when I use Viagra.
Even then I have to close my eyes."
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

Dear Deidre
"In the past year I've had three miscarriages, then my father-in-law died and I lost my job."

Deidre's advice: "Kill yourself."
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:49, archived)

Dear Dre,
I hate my wife and I love prescription drugs.
can i kill slash divorce her?
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:03, archived)

I dunnno.
Some random, unfunny ramblings.
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

this one
www.b3ta.com/talk/6126896
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6253015
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6270328
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:46, archived)

FAT CUNT CUNT CUNT FAT CUNT FAT CUNT CUNT CUNT FAT CUNT FAT CUNT SHUT UP

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)

My best post is just a link to a picture made by Moohalaa.
Well done Moo.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/3735829
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)

Parrott-baiting
www.b3ta.com/talk/4987082
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)

Snap
www.b3ta.com/talk/2265834
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:55, archived)

This one
www.b3ta.com/talk/5914310
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)

My least favourite of my popular posts
www.b3ta.com/talk/2744244
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

I only have three best :(

(

GatheredCrustacean, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

A passing pop at SickRick
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:49, archived)

Actually
I could just spend the rest of tonight reading my old posts
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:11, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/worstsex/post82135

Oh, talk post...

www.b3ta.com/talk/5017924
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:50, archived)

what would i see if no-one had ever clicked one of my posts?

(

weaver., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:50, archived)

the face of Jesus

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:50, archived)

I think this just comes up:
1.bp.blogspot.com/_WMPJRj6fMxc/R7WZVCzVjlI/AAAAAAAAACU/u-sWK84RCFE/s400/51321746_SadClown_sat.jpg
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:51, archived)

hahah :D
my best post is apparently this www.b3ta.com/talk/5932408, i think i may fail at /talk

my 8th best post is some shitty thread about asking for b3ta proxies
(

weaver., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:54, archived)

When I want your opinion I'll take my cock out of your mouth

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:51, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5127798
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:52, archived)

lol fractions speak louder than surds lol

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:54, archived)

and she was scared of 7
because 7 8 9
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:57, archived)

7 also raped 3, allegedly

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:58, archived)

nothing was ever proved

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:11, archived)

he's a prime cunt, though

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:13, archived)

IT WAS A SEPT UP

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:15, archived)

although police still haven't drawn a line through the case yet

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/2898193
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:54, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6091017
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:55, archived)

So...
This Vodkashit and Dangercunt, they still around?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:06, archived)

no.
thank fuck.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:13, archived)

Aids?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:17, archived)

no ta

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:23, archived)

That's shit.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:07, archived)

WITHOUT ANY DOUBT.
My favourite post of all time was Shamble's response to this thread.
www.b3ta.com/talk/1019026
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:00, archived)

I like lonewolf's link.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:04, archived)

I'm guessing that's a hotlink detector right there

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:12, archived)

That still makes me laugh

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:06, archived)

Me too
that and the cupboard boy saga.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:11, archived)

YES.
Oh, and Shamble's opinion of eggs.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:13, archived)

Rejected Enid Blyton book titles: no. 17
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7199584.stm
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:02, archived)

nothing special.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6270137
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:05, archived)

thats shit

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:14, archived)

Takes one to know one.
you turd.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:15, archived)

You can't have too many bummings.
Apparently.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:08, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/3942817
(

St. Defenestration The REAL one, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:13, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/2217678
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)

Its a JMG one. It will get me whinged at.
www.b3ta.com/talk/5545326
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 20:17, archived)

Anyone want this username that's been left lying around?

(SpareNeptune, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:20, archived)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa dum da da dum da da dum da da dum da
Oooh wah, oooh wah, oooooooh wah, oooh wah, ooh wah, ooh wah
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:21, archived)

Why do fools fall in love?
why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day
Why do they fall in love?
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:21, archived)

It was your list that alerted me to the fact that she had changed her name.
I didn't think even Sammi would be stupid enough to not have a name babysitter, but it was still worth a quick check.

/Neptune.
(SpareNeptune, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:22, archived)

i bet she'll be so upset when she finds you've stolen her name

(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:23, archived)

I'm fairly certain she changed her name because of the list.
And was too spastic to realise it still linked to her posts, with a different name.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:24, archived)

List?

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:26, archived)

Sorry typo.
I mean THE LIST
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:26, archived)

Why does the rain fall from above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:23, archived)

Because they're fools!

(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:25, archived)

Nah, you'll keep mate

(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:22, archived)

Nope. I've spent time honing my reputation with this one.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:26, archived)

You pipe smoking cunt.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:27, archived)

That's the one.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)

sure

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:26, archived)

Promise me you have more imagination than me and will do something funny/spiteful with it.

(SpareNeptune, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:27, archived)

ummm

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)

I'll have it.
But I'll pretty much only be typing "lol im a dum spastik" for every post.

Or you could give it to Gilgamesh, he collects accounts.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:29, archived)

I wouldn't notice any difference.

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:43, archived)

I'm sure somebody could have it as their comedy account

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:26, archived)

what?
that was a real account?
(

weaver., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:27, archived)

Sammi's had it as hers for 4 years now.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)

I'll take it.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:31, archived)

sorry, I should probably own up,
I was sammi all the time
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:34, archived)

WHAT A PLOT TWIST!

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:35, archived)

And of course glued eel is actually a Gilgamesh account so I was right all along.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:36, archived)

I AM GILGAMESH!

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)

NO, I AM GILGAMESH!

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)

yeah, you wish

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:46, archived)

christ no, I've seen what it does to people's faces

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)

Evening fuckers
I'm going to drink beer in my garden all weekend.

What are you up to?
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:43, archived)

ONLY ONE ANDY RODDICK!

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:44, archived)

did he dun win it?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:46, archived)

Yup, YEEHAW

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:47, archived)

I hope so.
My nephew put 15 quid on him at the start of it.
(

AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:48, archived)

So you'll be watching the balls going back and forth
Whereas my balls will actually be going back and forth.

as I mow the lawn
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:47, archived)

what's the televisionest roll call weather you've ever eaten?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:44, archived)

pepperoni pizza :)

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:45, archived)

nipples

(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:01, archived)

large brown ones with chips

(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:03, archived)

mailto:i'mdoingsomethingbetterthanyou.com
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:45, archived)

I'm going to drink the shit out of it.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:45, archived)

Ew.
1 girl 1 cup
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:46, archived)

You know you want to

(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:48, archived)

I won't be watchign any more tennis that's for sure
Fucking brits are cunts at sport, except darts and riding bikes.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:46, archived)

pfft, riding bikes
thats not a sport. its like running.. whats the point?
(Foo_Kinnell all the cut will be absorbed by it been a dog, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)

Well there's the whole "exercise" bit at the very least.
Not that you'd know about that, fatty.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)

hahaha
*cries*
(Foo_Kinnell all the cut will be absorbed by it been a dog, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)

I'm saying it for your own good.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:13, archived)

Moving to mexico!
I can't cope with or control my debts and stuff anymore, so I'm running away from my problems like a real man.
(

AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:46, archived)

Watch out for the swine flu.
And poverty and drive-by's and drugs.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:47, archived)

And kidnapping.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:49, archived)

I thought
this is what you people would wish upon me.

The only reason I posted that was in hope that you'd all piitch together to buy my ticket.
(

AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:51, archived)

I will donate 11p.
Seriously, I really will.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:13, archived)

Yay!

(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:47, archived)

a friend of mine moved to San Francisco to avoid paying off his bank loans and student loan
then one day someone banged on his door with a court order and started moving his furniture into a van

good luck with the not being found thing there
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:50, archived)

and he was charged extra for the investigation, private detective work and correspondence between the UK and US
just saying like
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:52, archived)

In light of this, it's probably a good idea to pay his mum back that tenner.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:53, archived)

Gonz. My darling.
Do the words "fuck off" mean anything to you? hahaha
(

AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:01, archived)

Very, very little indeed.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:04, archived)

That made me laugh out loud Gonz.

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:04, archived)

So, you mean...
I'm just going to have to face my problems? Like, suck it up and be a man? No crying and running away this time?
(

AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:53, archived)

I mean if you run away from debt then they will trace you and charge you extra for the privilege
and if it's tax or VAT debt then they'll impose a charge of £60 a DAY until you clear the debt
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)

You could find a country that hasn't got a reciprocal agreement with the UK for this sort of thing.
Except you probably wouldn't want to live there.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)

North cyprus ain't bad, until/if all that EU stuff is sorted.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:00, archived)

reciprocal agreements only cover extradition for criminal cases
if it's a civil case and they get a court order in the other country then they can empty his house while he's at work
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:01, archived)

presumably that would depend on the laws in the other country though?

(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:03, archived)

yeah, or it could depend on slipping the judge a few quid
that often works wonders
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:04, archived)

And if they can find you.
Some countries aren't that interested in handing over information.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:06, archived)

so,
you'd only need to move to an anti-western communist state with zero corruption to be safe?
(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:06, archived)

"...Communist....zero corruption...."
BWAAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:13, archived)

venezuela isn't so bad

(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:01, archived)

what's it to you?

(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:48, archived)

I want to know so I can come around to your place
and lick your paving slabs
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:49, archived)

On a coach to Bristol.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:48, archived)

You are Andy whatshisface tennis player who's just lost
aicmfp
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:50, archived)

at the moment
looking for a driver for a printer. i doesnt seem to be working.
(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:49, archived)

i'll drive it!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:52, archived)

Are you very, very small?

(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)

i'm so small, even jockeys bully me

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:04, archived)

Come here then...
closer....

closer....

closer....

*smack*
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:06, archived)

*weeps into sleeves*

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:14, archived)

Don't get the paper wet
or I'll hit you again.
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:16, archived)

ok,
sure! *hands over steering wheel*
(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)

I read this
and heard a small boy (in next door's garden) shouting out, "WAIT FOR ME!!"

I actually laughed.

Out loud.
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:57, archived)

?
does spacefish live near you?
maybe its him.
(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)

I think you could be right
In my head all of b3ta live in one large happy and cuntish village where they're all in-bred and have large distended testicles.
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:01, archived)

yay!

(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:01, archived)

"take the wheel ~~gromit~~ spacefish!"
(

weaver., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:57, archived)

driving miss daisywheel

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)

the golfball rally

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)

The Dot Matrix

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:04, archived)

ink-red-able hulk?

(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:05, archived)

crouching toner, hidden ribbon

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:10, archived)

out of africpaper

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:13, archived)

sunset bubblejet

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:14, archived)

Get Cartridge

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:17, archived)

dye another day

(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:21, archived)

Prints of Persia

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:22, archived)

monsters ink.

(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:23, archived)

off now, see you all later

(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:26, archived)

2001: A Space Ollivetti

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:21, archived)

Empire of the Epson

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)

Canonball Run

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:34, archived)

:D

(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:13, archived)

hahaha!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:10, archived)

I WANT TO GO HOME

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:50, archived)

I wish you'd come home too
You're always working late, you hardly see the kids anymore and you haven't touched me in months, I've got needs you know.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:00, archived)

It's alright love
I'll pop by and sort out that leaky tap for you.
I'll kick a ball round with the kids for a bit and then we can have a bit of how's your father while they watch Britain's Got Talent.

He'll never know.
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:05, archived)

I CAN SMELL YOU IN HIM

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:08, archived)

You drove me into his arms!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:12, archived)

My strong powerful arms
that will FUCK YOU UP!

She's mine - you don't want her!
All you care about is your job - she needs a man who understands the plumbing!
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:14, archived)

I WANT TO GO HOME WITH A PIE THEY ARE SO SATISFYING
FILLED WITH GRAAAAAVY.
I WANT TO EAT MEAT.
GOD KNOOOWWWS.
GOD KNOWS I'M EATING A PIE.

*Brian May solo*
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:14, archived)

it's strange but it's true
can't get enough, of your pastry-crusted goo
but I have to be sure
when I bite to your core
ooh, that I'm gonna taste meat.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:19, archived)

Aaaaa dum da da dum da da dum da da dum da
ooh wah, ooh wah, oooooh wah, ooh wah, ooh wah, ooh wah
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:50, archived)

Why do fools fall in love?
why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day
Why do they fall in love?
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:50, archived)

Hey nonny ding dong, alang alang alang
Boom ba-doh, ba-doo ba-doodle-ay

Oh, life could be a dream (sh-boom)
If I could take you up in paradise up above (sh-boom)
If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love
Life could be a dream, sweetheart
(Hello, hello again, sh-boom and hopin' we'll meet again)
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:53, archived)

Mike...

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)

Mike?....

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)

MIKE !!!

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)

Dewd?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)

You seen that Birds of a Feather?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)

Arr

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)

It's all right, innit.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)

Arr

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:05, archived)

I'll probably spend a chunk of it drinking beer on my balcony.
And some other stuff.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:51, archived)

eating a passionfruit
and i'm going to a michael jackson night at scream later, my costume is...a hat
(

weaver., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:52, archived)

Work
and do the same as you providing the weather improves.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)

maybe a bit of gardening
the garden has started rewarding me with artichokes, chard and tayberries, so i'm inclined to be nice to it again

also beer, hopefully socialisation, possibly bottling some homebrew, and the farmers' market

and my fluxx cards arrived today, so playing that too
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)

You are middle class
I salute you.
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)

darn tootin
but the poor sort. i need to onto the oppression of the masses as soon as possible
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:15, archived)

something that doesn't reek of loneliness and ineptitude

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)

So we won't be seeing you on here then?

(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)

Going to go in the sea in a canoe LOL

(

epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)

sulking

(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:05, archived)

haha, no girlfriend
No. Girlfriend.
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:09, archived)

KNOCK KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?

NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:10, archived)

i have the littlun over
we're drinking milkshakes out of wine glasses and eating a plate full of after eights
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:13, archived)

I'll be round about 10ish
okay sweetheart?
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:15, archived)

i thought all the british players got knocked out of the 10ish

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:17, archived)

okay dad :D

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:18, archived)

Oh yeah...
I'm the daddy.
(Stiff Richard, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 19:20, archived)

Would it be wrong?
(after being lied to for the last two weeks, deceived, robbed and possibly cheated on)

To go into her work place and tell her in front of her employees that she's got a smelly fanny, shit tits and she's crap in bed.

'Cos at the moment that's what i feel like doing...
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)

You're quite the catch

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:09, archived)

well....
she's fleeced me, hurt me, lied to me and that's the way i'm feeling.

Gutted is the word.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:10, archived)

haha, no girlfriend

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

My bird's ace

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:12, archived)

*ace bird fives*

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:15, archived)

*shit job zeros*
Got to go back to work now.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:16, archived)

cheer up, at least you've got a girlfriend to come home to

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:23, archived)

HURRAH

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)

I got a girlfriend yesterday.
She is also ace.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:32, archived)

Mine paid for me to go to Cuba with her for a fortnight and a weekend in Venice
she's taking me to Greece soon too, also she doesn't have a gag reflex BONUS
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:36, archived)

She's got a big Adam's Apple though,
but nobody's perfect eh?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:45, archived)

:D

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:45, archived)

Man up
Move on. Childish acts of retribution don't endear you to anyone, least of all yourself.

/dad
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

You should work harder at not being ugly.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:13, archived)

go and get trashed and poke about a bit.
then man up and find another girlfriend.
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:14, archived)

If the money you lost divided by the number of screws is less than £50 then you've won
if it's more then report her to Trading Standards for overcharging
(

CanonCaliber A big bore, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:21, archived)

harden the fuck up
petty revenge only lowers you to her level

step away and move on

or strangle her with piano wire, either will do
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:27, archived)

Yeah you're right...
Just needed to vent.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:31, archived)

This might also reignite the passion in the relationship.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:33, archived)

her employee's what?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:10, archived)

Go and tell her you've got a positive HIV test and she should get herself tested.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:10, archived)

Caught from her dad

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

This

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:12, archived)

I take it she dumped you then UGMO

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

There's dumping
and then there's finding out that everything that comes out of her mouth is a pathological lie and she hasn't even got the nerve to finish me, whilst choosing to spend my money on her friends and potential fuck buddy after claiming she needed money to pay bills.

Leaving me severely out of pocket (after i hasten to add, buying a shit load of nice grub so i could cook a meal for her)...

Damn i feel like shit... someone cheer me up.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:14, archived)

haha, loser
I'm doing that finger and thumb L thing on my forehead for you now
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:17, archived)

i bet you're not

(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:18, archived)

Dewd...he is.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:19, archived)

The whole internet is laughing at you.
It's like posting a video of you hitting your head on something. A video that you recorded and have the only copy of.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:20, archived)

Are you cheered up yet?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:21, archived)

The poo on the desk comment cheered me up
a little
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:22, archived)

Whatever you do, dont think about the likelihood that as we speak she is being spit roast by two of your mates
While three others wait patiently for their turn.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:17, archived)

You should really teach her a lesson and buy her loads and loads of nice present before she splits up with you.
You giant wet-bag.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:19, archived)

That's definitely the way to regain the moral high ground.
Go for it.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

Yes it would
You should be the better person
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:12, archived)

obviously you should go and shoot it up a bit afterwards
or just hide behind a car in the carpark once you get there and weep.
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:12, archived)

do a poo on her desk

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:13, archived)

chop her up, eat her
THEN poo HER on her own desk
(

RedStar returneth, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:20, archived)

Get a tree shredder and point it at her office window
scream "I'm coming back for you!" and jump in.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:16, archived)

I can understand you're hurting
But trust the wiser posters above me- it just isn't worth it.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:29, archived)

you should totally log in as your pretend girlfriend and send him a panderGAZ, that might cheer him up

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:32, archived)

What pretend girlfriend?

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:34, archived)

haha, oh jimbob
you are a card
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:35, archived)

Oh, Cyril Sneer.
I remember 'her'.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:35, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/workboredom/post343403
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:37, archived)

Fucking hell.
That's a good display of tossery, that post.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:41, archived)

Yeah', but make sure you get it recorded on your camera phone for youtube first.
You'll look so hard and manly, deffo someone will want to go out with you then.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:41, archived)

No new thread for ages and then...

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:06, archived)

I TOO HAVE NOTHING TO SAY
oops caps lock. Hello
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)

Okay then
What's best?

I think rainbows and bats and cherries and gin and Elbow are best.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:29, archived)

I like armadillos

(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

Smooth on the inside
crunchy on the outside
(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

ARMADILLOS

(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

I have a craving for a Dime bar now
It must be something like 15 years since I last had one...
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:34, archived)

they're $1.50 now
(

vladimir, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)

I SAW POLOS FOR 60P AT THE RAILWAY STATION.
I REMEMBER WHEN THEY WERE 14P!!!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)

I remember buying packets of 20 fags for 50p
and petrol was so cheap, most garages actually paid you to take it away
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)

I bought a pack of 20 for a pound last week.
Mind you, it was in Belgrade.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)

Fucking hell
How could anyone go on living in a world like this?

Oh.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)

the quality of jokes regarding my imminent death
varies greatly.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)

I know.
I apologise :(
(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)

I should never try to be funny

(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)

Unlike piston, I know when to stop

(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)

I remember them being 10p.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)

DO YOU REMEMBER THE FRUIT ONES?
AND ALL THE VARIETIES? OH MAN.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

HAHA THE ONES THAT WERE MEANT TO BE THE HOLES OF POLOS,
THE LITTLE ONES, YOU REMEMBER THEM? HAHA THEY WERE FUNNY!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)

they came in a giant plastic polo box
some of which were later used by the mighty boosh as the mystical trinkets of a bass-playing cockney nutjob
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:48, archived)

EELS

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:52, archived)

SLEE

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:13, archived)

I think moths and tea and sunshine and the smell of warm grass and new tshirts and hugs and cr3 and jackals and Bon Iver and Sigur Ros are best.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

I think motorsports and chinchillas and cycling and clothes getting too big and my car are best

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:33, archived)

oh man, Same Difference are wai kewl

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:36, archived)

I NO RITE

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:39, archived)

this is wai kewl too
www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/02/blob_monster/
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)

I'm impressed their porn video leaked online

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:03, archived)

I like trees and cats and chillies and knees.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

those things are all rubbish, you must be really really stupid

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

we're all really really stupid compared to Jesus

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)

Jesus is a big fat gay mong with bad breath and body odour

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)

You're Jesus?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:42, archived)

We're all Jesus compared to Jesus.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:42, archived)

I can turn wine into something vaguely resembling water

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

Post vagoo or GTFO

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

We're all big fat gay mongs with bad breath and body odour compared to Jesus.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:42, archived)

Erm...
Raindrops on roses...erm....whiskers on kittens...erm...bright copper kettles and that and I really like warm woolen mittens.
Then if I had to choose probably brown paper packages tied up with string.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)


 _   _  ___  ____  _  ______  _ 
| \ | |/ _ \|  _ \| |/ / ___|| |
|  \| | | | | |_) | ' /\___ \| |
| |\  | |_| |  _ {| . \ ___) |_|
|_| \_|\___/|_| \_\_|\_\____/(_)

/ac
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)

Hoar frost, wet autumns and soft summer gloamings
abandonned houses and wild country roamings
the smell of petrol and hymen-breaking
these are a few of my favourite things
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)

plus some pert tits, and some short skirts
and a humorous tome
I am quickly consoled that life is not so dull
and can happily stay. At. Home.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)

Fuck knows if that fits the actual song
even my inner ear refuses to listen to Julie Andrews
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)

Doing nothing, quiet, cheesecake, snogging and clams are best

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:43, archived)

extraordinary clams require extraordinary evidence.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)

Extraordinary clams are my new favourite thing
Very sweet things
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

Gadgets, Pints of Sunchaser, strawberries, when it pisses down with rain when you're tucked up in bed,
cats who stretch their legs and claws when they're happy, great curries and Mr Whippy ice cream.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)

oooh I missed curry.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)

Good curries only
Prepacked rubbish need not apply
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)

I'm not all that picky
I appreciate a good one but I'll eat anything from the vague area of India.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

elephants?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)

delicious
but the tusks are a bitch to remove.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)

You only like elephants because they have massive ribs
Then you and cr3 pretend you're the flintstones by hanging them on cr3's car.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)

I wish I had a pet Dino
rawrawrawrawraw
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)

Get a Pleo
I'm surprised cr3 hasn't got one :P
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)

ner I saw a couple of videos of those
they look a bit shite. I've got a roboraptor somewhere, that's fun.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)

But a fresh curry can be cooked about as quickly as the prepacked ones
And tastes so much more yum.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)

5 minutes in the microwave?
hmmm.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:54, archived)

I was referring to oven cooking
*narrows eyes* You win this round, red fraggle :)
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)

YES

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

Gadgets are rubbish
the five minutes of joy is too quickly counterbalanced by the furious anger invoked when some small-but-crucial plastic component breaks
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)

You need to invest in better gadgets.

(

FoldsFive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

it is wise to invest in strong gadgets.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)

20 NdFeB magnets should do it
They are AMAZING!
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

I only invest in them when they're at least 15 years old
when they've proved they can stand the test of time
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

like trying to open orange cartons.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

hot north winds,
balmy saturday evenings, the smell of asphalt after a summer shower and puppies!
(

Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

yeah, I love the smell of puppies on asphalt too

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

Gin, tea, raspberries, snogging, baths, sunshine, zebras, shoes and steak.
FACT.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

Why thankyou.

(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

my garden is the best
also computers. i love computers
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

cold beer, warm flat, hot pizza
/ac

but I would like a cold flat at the moment please thankyou.

also:
baths with lots of Lush things in
flat being tidy
Sobranie cigarettes
and Capri Sun orange
(

moohalaa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

+ boys willies

(

RedStar returneth, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:05, archived)

None of you selfish fucks said world peace
you self-absorbed pricks
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

plus internet literacy, receiving a well-composed hand-written letter on elegant stationery
getting the green wave when driving, high air quality, a satisfying and rewarding vocation in life, good health, the respect of my peers, a supporting family and having a girlfriend who swallows.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)

the green wave?

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)

there's a straight road here of about five miles long
which has more than 20 traffic lights on it. It happens possibly once in your lifetime that as you drive down that road all the lights will turn green at just the right time for you never to have to slow down. Like in a film when the main character turns out to be telekinetic.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:06, archived)

I saw a telly thing about this effect
the lights might be programmed to keep traffic moving at 30mph, wait for one set to go green then drive at exactly 30mph and you'll only hit green lights
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)

Yeah, that's never going to happen over here
a year back a motor journalist killed his friend whilst driving a borrowed ferrari. He drove through some road works, hit a bump, and ploughed into a flyover support at 150kph, in the middle of the city.

There was public outcry. "YOU SEE, MAYOR? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T REPAIR THE ROADS ON TIME!"
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)

I remember making a train journey from Olkusz to Krakow that passed a cenetery where some building work was going on nearby
on one of the piles of rubble was a recently-excavated human foot

classy
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)

hehe fantastic
this is a good feeling actually, sometimes I can get it from my parents' house to ours.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)

how would people make a living without war?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)

CELLOTAPE

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

Gobbo, I printed out the alphabet, then cut out the 'u' and 'i' and put them next to eachother, but now I have no 'h', but that's OK, as long as U and I are together.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)

C S
(

Malchick, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)

depends

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)

i like kittens and cats, being drunk, huggles
and the smell of newborn babies
(

weaver., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

ahhh, the warm cosy aroma of amniotic fluid

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)

better than sex ;)

what happened on wednesday night?
(

weaver., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)

I went to work, did 8 hours, then drove to Piaseczno to collect a car bonnet
why do you ask?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)

i meant on here, you arse :D

(

weaver., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:27, archived)

Cats, curry and friendly cheap boozers.
Certainly not interminable, tedious online training courses with ten million slides that take FOREVER AND FUCKING EVER TO DISPLAY.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)

Wormulus
Cock Tuesday and ym.
(

WormuIus, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)

Gadgets, techonlogy, dogs, auterm, chinese food, knowing someone loves you, knowing you love someone back, morphine, kababs.
Cheeses you can't buy in supermarkets, scuba diving and snorking, not being ill, not being poor, not being a complete and uter fucked up fuck up, finding a new resturant, finding an old friend, D12 and Eminem, will smith and robins williams films, snow when you expect it, snow when you don't expect it, holding hands with someone new with that 'am I holding on to long? is this creepy? she seems to like it' feeling, taking to long to write a post so the thread is burried, that drink 'v', being tired because you've done so much, blisters that remind you of good things, finding new things to do, finding old things you loved to do, going to the picture-show.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

you forgot artichokes

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)

Oh man, I quite like them.
With mayo'n'tobasco mixed up.

Yeah', a guy like me sure can go for a thing like that.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)

Globe or Jerusalem?

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)

~~everything you just said~~ being a creepy retard
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:30, archived)

he's my favourite creepy retard
IN THE WORLD.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

Knowing that my portfolio is finally coming together.
Also, food and music.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)

a single processed cheese slice repeatedly folded on its self into a single cheese slate tower
done for the whole pack of singles
stacked together
and put in your mouth
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)

Could you not just buy a block of real cheese?

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)

no, you don't get how this works
I'm sorry
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)

Oh fuck, this.
I used to do this.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)

Cats, bolognaise and pasta, Bulmers, Silk Cut Purple, gowlin' in the pub, dogs, rabbits, trees, flowers.
Oh and my little bedroom. I luff it.
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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)

Christ.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8132949.stm
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

oh

(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

How can you post something so trivial when there are people out there like Friz who didn't make it into the newsletter this week?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

'people out there like Friz'
there's more than just him? :(
(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

Obviously not exact facial matches.
I just meant needy people who seek fame.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

wow, anyone would think the entertainment industry was totally out of ideas and simply recycling old ideas
imagine that
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

I'M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

HOW ANGRY?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

You have a strange religion
and I want no part of it.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

First Church Of Trotter

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)

It's David Jason, silly.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

Hello /talk.
I am posting through IPREDator VPN, which is actually quite cool. Whats new with you chaps? I also think I might let Paul McKenna make me stop smoking later.
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

I'm bitter
I'm not usually bitter.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

Because Green Minute wasn't featured in the newsletter?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:39, archived)

A bit, yeah
But, you know, pissing on a car just has... a certain.. niche to it.

Yeah.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

bloody hell.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

anyone would think you were a flaming queen!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

Oh, I'm not going to pretend that I'm not bitter
At least I'm admitting it.

It's just an odd feeling.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

haha, you really are a dick

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

I'll admit that too

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

maybe, you know,
you could start your own newsletter, if you want your stuff to be in it.
b3tas newsletter is not the be all and end all and bellend all, it's not meant to be a list of the ten best things online this week you nob.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

Started out so well that post.

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

i lost what i was saying so just stumbled into insults,
sorry, no offence, etc etc
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

He could run this 3 number mini lottery right.
Where you pick 3 numbers from 1-15 right and you have to get them in the right order. Then, at the draw, a camera zooms in on Friz's bulging mouth and he opens his lips to reveal 3 pool balls numbers facing forwards. It'd be ace.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

I liked it. I clicked it. I favourited on YouTube. I commented. I recommended it to a friend.
Isn't that enough?
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

What are we clicking?
I am a support of Friz vids.

Enlinkify.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

Google "YouTube"

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

I suppose so
I didn't use to think this way. I used to just make them for fun.

Fleh.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

My "Fat Boy Thin" video didn't make it either.
And it was on the links popular page all week.

Oh well. I've already got my next video planned so I'll chugg on. I like your stuff so I hope this doesn't demotivate you.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

Fair do :)

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

i did a painting of a cow,
that my mum said was really really good,
and it did not make it into the tate :(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)

OUTRAGE.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)

i bowled an absolute dream of an off spin at my little brother down the park last week.
i am still waiting for my call up to the england ashes squad.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

Cool.
I might start playing cricket with my Da again.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

i threw some screwed up paper into a bin three feet away, without even looking, over my shoulder.
the harlem globetrotters must have overlooked me.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

The cunts.
Don't they know you're dying?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

i know!
this is the kind of disrespect talented people like myself have to put up with day in, day out.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

This is the same thing, yes

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

of course it's not you dick

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

Oh for fuck's sake, it's only an internet newsletter, get over it.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

BUT POOR ICKLE FWIZZLEWIZZLE DIDNT GET IN THE NEWSLETTER :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
*lights candle in respect*
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

Oh good, this won't get old

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

Thats true, he's got pancreatic cancer.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

INSENSITIVE :(

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

is it?

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

made me cry.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

QUEER

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

I'm eating cheese coleslaw with my my fingers.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)

you started it, you bell.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

If it's any consolation I didn't like it and thought the cuts from fat-face smiling to fat-face not smiling were annoying.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

I can't watch Green Minute whatever that is, no yoootuuub
Is it a Friz vid of him doing T Rex arms in front of a keyboard with his clothes airer in the background?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

Wouldn't have it any other way

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

You should change the location, then it will get in the newsletter. Like an old people's home.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

Haha

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

poor ickle fwizzlewizzle!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

Not much, just getting really really omg omg really excited about the 10 million get.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:38, archived)

...isn't that quite a while off?

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

It's 400odd thousand away.
But if we just move talk over to an old thread on there, it'll be done in no time.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

I'll be honest dude, I don't know if I can write "SNARN" across pictures of kittens fast enough to compete with the regulars

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

I was just gonna use an old thread to post "OMG 10 MILLION?" in.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

oh yeah
that'd work too
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

i could have posted this with my phone
but i didn't
(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:40, archived)

Hey well! How're you today? Anything interesting going on with you? Hows life? Hows the REAL well?

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

why do you ask?

(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

I'm being friendly, because I like you Well.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

the way i go about not smoking
is to not smoke,
it is quite
a successful system.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:40, archived)

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

Of course there isnt much point to clean living now, is there?
How are you holding up?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

You don't want to see what all the fuss is about?
It's not like you're going to get lung cancer after all...
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

no, i smoked a tonne.
then when i wanted to stop, i stopped. it was quite straightforward.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

This
Its simple.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

My mother and granny just stopped too.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

have you tried jump-starting them?

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

I found the best way was not to put them in my mouth, light them and puff.
Worked wonders, they should provide that on the NHS.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

why would you stop?
could you not afford to smoke anymore?
(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

Dunno
The smell of smoke on me i think
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

I like fags. I don't want to stop.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

i had some snuss the other day
it's a swedish tobacco pouch that you stick on your gums and get a nicotine rush from, and they're very strong. which meant that i went straight from no nicotine to far too much nicotine without at any point having looked cool
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

Oooh.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

my pusher (for it was a bloke in the pub) had a great big selection box with loads of different snusses in it
mine tasted of citrus and liquorice, and would probably have been nice if i'd taken it out after ten minutes
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

Ugh, I hate liquorice.
This stuff sounds interesting. I'd say the head shop in town would have it.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

i normally hate liquorice
it did go alright with tobacco though
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

I moved home yesterday, yay.
I'm hungry.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

And what exactly is wrong with England?
Eh?Eh?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

YOU.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

LIES
Since i moved ive become whats wrong with SCOTLAND.

Ha!

Oh:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

You just ruin everything.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

This

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

I hate you.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

dont pretend like it doesnt give you fizzy knickers.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

He's scots now
he doesn't and can't count
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

quite a lot.
I'd like to get out for a few years,
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

I hate it.
No offence, like.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

It's ok.
I quite like it because I've never really lived in a shitty area of England.

It's still got massive shit points though.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

You lived in the East Midlands.
For four years.

The nearest I ever get to the East Midlands is Doncaster, and even then that's too close for comfort.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

It's not as bad as it's made out to be.
I was living in a student town as a student though, so I haven't lived the East Midlands life properly.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

That's because you lived in a shitty lacklustre bit.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

It's just not home.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)

You should come and live with me in the new Palace Of Glittering Delights
It'd be ace
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

Wouldn't your missus object?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

Not if you do as expected
And be my cleaning bitch
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

West Yorkshire has never seemed so appealing!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

North
Geography fail
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

Well its all Inbredshire

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)

Only the pretty ones survive

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

yay!
I'd like to visit Ireland.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

DO.
YOU BETTER. AND BRING THAT THING YOU CALL A BOYFRIEND ALSO.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'LL COME OVER AND PESTER YOU IN THAT IRELAND
AND DRINK ALL YER GIN.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

HURRRRRRAY!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

~~visit~~ invade

+ with 1 million armed angry chavs.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

I have no idea what that is,
and it sounds massively geeky.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

It's not really - all I'm doing, really, is connecting through a 128bit encrpyted VPN through to a server in Sweden, essentially creating an SSH tunnel in order to avoid packet filtering and download restrictions.
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

when you put it that way
it doesn't sound geeky at all.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

It actually sounds quite clever.
It'd be useful if I was staying in this house for a significant amount of time, as there's capped internet here.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

The awesome cushions I now have on my sofa
Yey for sales.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

I'm replying va my blackberry
Not cool just rather fiddly
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

What's the point in using it?
What do you do online that needs so much privacy?
(

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