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Aaah bugger :-(
I just got my first batch of LPC results and i failed one. Passed one, Commendation for another and passed all my skills and drafting assignments.
Now my finals are a month away and I'm not feeling too productive :-(

mmm, chinese instant noodles and Scrubs.
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

... LPC?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

Llama Plucking Certificate

(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

Legal Practice Course
the missing link between a law student and a solicitor
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

Oh, right
Cheers
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

PLASMONS

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

You're right, that's a stunning word
FIRE PLASMONS OFF THEIR STARBOARD BOW
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

You don't really fire plasmons at stuff.
You can fire stuff at plasmons though.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Golly

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

ok
now tell me something I actually give a shit about
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

The papers said that a man got beaten up for looking like Gary Glitter
it was you wasn't it?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

lol gary glitter
i can't even be arsed pressing shift, that's how boring your post is
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

YOU BROKE B3TA

(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

I'm sorry!
:-(
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Oh really?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

Anyone fancy swapping jobs?
or just giving me a new one?
(McDazzle Knows not what he does, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

I could get you a job
outdoors work
no comission
£10 a hour.
(

WormuIus, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Is it chugging?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

mugging.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

struggling

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

ugly duckling

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

bling bling!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

Ling Ling
(dressing up as a giant panda and having sex with another giant Panda for money)
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

ming ming
/other chinese pandas are avilable.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

sing sing
/you're going to prison for this
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

(

WormuIus, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

TEN POUNDS an hour?
Do you get sacked if you don't pull in any ~~victims~~ supporters?
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

~~pull in any victims supporters~~ irritate the fuck out of the general public to the point of being threatened with violence
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

You get a lot of training first and coaching on the job,
You would have to be monumentally retarded not to find anyone prepared to help, that said, sometimes we would get people that were just not suitable to the job and despite our best efforts would consistently fail to get anyone at all, ever.

These people would get fired after a week or so without any improvement.

It's worth remembering that the charity isn't looking for numbers, but for quality donors.
(

WormuIus, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

Dogging

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

What is your job?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

blowing

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

He's an international jet setting super rap star with a hariem of naked girls in all of his private jets.
He gets £20m a day, with commision.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

If you don't mind moving to Ireland or France, sure

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Yay
Why Ireland?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

We've got an office in Cork now

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

Cool.
What do you do?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

I create training documents and hold training sessions for our tech support people
It's alright, likes.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

Oh right.
Can I have a job in the Cork office?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

Yes, jobs for all!

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

Yay!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

Get me a job in france.
I don't know what I'm doing with a house, or job, or ANYTHING after June 20th.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

I know a guy who works at the lab where they keep the Kilo and the Metre
He does science, you could work there.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I'm currently sick of science
/has 3000 more words to write todayq
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

But he looks after ohms! OHMS!

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

I haven't written the word Ohm.
All my science ignores resistance.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

You ignore resistance at your peril young chap

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

it's not so much that I'm ignoring it, it's just that using the model that I'm using the resistance is part of the system itself,
and hence can be normalised so I just pretend it's not there.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

In this house we comply by Band Theory and don't you forget it!
Now go to bed, no supper
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

but my way I get to use the word PLASMONS.
Man, wouldn't you love to use the word PLASMONS?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

Come live here.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

Where is here?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

Northampton.
You know this.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Do you have a room going,
or do you just mean move to Northampton in general?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

I don't know.
Don't listen to me.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

Oh.
Today the crushing reality of everything came down on me.

After my exams finish I have 15 days to decide where I'm going to live.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

Yeah, I had a similar experience on Tuesday.
Shitty, shitty day.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

sure
being an out-of-work freelancer is a full-time job
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

I've just sorted through all our memory sticks into speed catagory
and am about to do the same with our spare hard drives. How should I categorise them? Connection type? Size? Connection type then size? What about speed?
(

SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

I am sticking labels onto thousands of flyers
FUN FUN FUN
(

WormuIus, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

colour
build a grey rainbow of disks
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

Slow day?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

That's how Matt rolls
YEAH BOYEEEE!!!
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

*ubuntu t-shirts*

(

SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

*umbongo t-shirts*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

"chuckle vision t-shirts"

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

*tarpaulin with bungee cords*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

"Pimp my Drives"

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Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

"How's my drive sorting? 0800 B-U-M K-I-D-S"

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

There's no place like 127.0.0.1

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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Don't mess with me bitch, I have root.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

c:\
c:\dos\
c:\dos\run
... run dos run.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Oh man, we often have to ask customers to send trace routes to us
And right, get this yeah? A lot of the time, the trace route they send is to 127.0.0.1! They've only traced to their own computer! LOL!

The days fly by here.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

And, this one time, I edited my mate's Host file to redirect youtube to 127.0.0.1
Then I set up an Apachi server to display each flv to his webcam.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

hit them all with a cricket bat
rank them according to durability
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

Drop them from the roof of the building that you are in
rate them on which ones bounce higher
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

I think you should categorise them in the way they resemble people you know and their greatness.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

I can help.
McD~~azzle~~ onalds
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

You only want him to work at mcdonalds so they can put more resources into supplying you constantly with cheeseburgers and apple pies

(

SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

The nearest McDonalds to me is 20 miles away.
I prefer to keep it that way.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Does it require constant vigilance to stop it from encroaching on your territory?

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

It involves me not going anywhere near it.
As McDonalds is vile.
I've seen me go in with Tegans mum and her family and sit there with nothing while they all eat something. I just won't buy from McDonalds. I'd rather go to burger king or KFC.
Or to be honest find a little cafe that is A. Cheaper and B. Cooked to order.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

You can be my slave
I still need one.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

slaves are so last century
you need a valet
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

is she a gentleman?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

a lady's maid then

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

thought they were born.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

"McDazzle! I need to poo!
I need you and Punjab to hold open my buttocks for me. Right, am I centred? Good, ring the bell when you think I'm done."
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

cant you be mine?
then we'll take it in turns... please?
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Depends what your job is...

(

Jobe, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

You're welcome to my job, but I'm keeping the money.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

This is a brilliant photo:
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/picturesoftheday/5290053/Pictures-of-the-day-7-May-2009.html?image=1

Man I want one.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

I've just got back from watching Star Trek
I give it 10/10. Excellent cast, Spock was superb.
Best lines were: Scotty - "She canna take it Captain!" and Kirk - "Set phasers to stun!" It was so good I might go again.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

SPOCKLAR!

(

SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

I'm going to see it at the London Imax this weekend

(

SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

it's fantastic on the big screen
PROPER out of your seat moments
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

I want to see that.
:(
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

Uhura is well fit

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Then go

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

I'm going to see it at 21:00

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

Star Trek is quite racist.
If I went up to a black man and called him Darky, I would get punched, but you're allowed to call a Scottish person Scotty?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

"Scot" isn't a colour.
It's there in "Scotland". If this black guy came from Darkland I guess that would be ok. But if he comes from Pacland I'd be more careful.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

not really the same thing, old chap

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Scott is his surname.
Oh gonzo.
(

FoldsFive, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

I've just finished reading planearm's review of Star Trek
I give it 2/10
Best line was the last one. It was so bad, it has put me off going to see the film in a cinema in case he sits near me.
(

WormuIus, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

Hahaha

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

Planearm in 'enjoyed film' shocker
More on these developments at 10

First the weather. Sandra?
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

I have never seen Star Trek
Should I?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

If you want.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

Actually
see Wrath of Khan first.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Hehe thanks

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

awesome!
i'd like to see that
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

I'm going to go see that soon.
Although at this rate I will be going on my own. In fancy dress.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I like the show this is from
www.youtube.com/watch?v=srJUkTVbJFg

what do you like?
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

Sleep, bacon sandwiches and Dylan Moran.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

I like sleep
Except when I have nightmares
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

these are all good things.
well done
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

Dylan Moran's going to be at the big chill this year
I can't wait!
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 7 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

At the what?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

www.bigchill.net/festival
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 7 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

he's been at latitude before
he's very funny

not sure who the big comedy names are this year
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

ORANGEFAIL

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

In fact, fuck this, I´m off to the beach

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

twat

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

I like Terence Stamp

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

General Zod

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

KNEEL, KNEEL BEFORE ZOD

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

Climbing, Kendo, Roadbiking, Reading, Walking and Company sometimes.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

i'll have to take your word for a couple of these

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

I hate things that are professionally done, but attempt to look amateurish...
... it just seems cheap to me if it'd done badly like that.

It's like "LOOK AT ME, I'M A POOR AMATEUR DOING SOMETHING FUNNY, PLEASE PASS THIS ONTO YOUR FRIENDS SO I CAN GET PAID".
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

What about things that are amateurishly done but just look shit?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

so, yeah, rathergood.com then

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

woah, cool it with the negativity, man
this is a thread about things you like, you dig?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

Ohhh....
That list is way to long. Basicly everything.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

give me... 5 examples

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Dogs, technology, cooking, photography and when you go to pull a nacho out of a plate of nachos with melted cheese; and you get sevral nachos in one big nacho and cheese orgy.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

guiltily eating cheap ramen noodles as I watch kung fu films in my karate trousers and monster slippers

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

One Armed Boxer.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

I sometimes do, depends if there are naked women in it..

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

Very funny, you know what I mean.
Watch it. It's AMAZING.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

I have seen Du Bei Chuan Wang and many a gung fu movie. I don't think there is one I haven't seen :S
Not a massive fan of Jimmy Wang Yu though. Mimmick Gung Fu (as he was a Shtkan exponent) doesn't really do much for me. (although one boxer/swordsmen are great films :))
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

setting fire to tramps

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

Look at me
I'm listening to music using noise cancelling headphones, but everyone else in the office can hear what I'm listening to. Even when I took them out to take a phone call and they were sitting on my desk I didn't notice the high volume, and on concluding the call put them back in my lug holes. Cunt.
(

magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

Tea, shoes, bats, kittens, rainbows, music, dancing,
laughing, FoldsFive, dark chocolate, gin, cherries, my friends, films, my family, my hair colour.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

~~Tea,~~ - Gonz
~~shoes,~~ - Gonz
~~bats,~~ - Gonz
~~kittens,~~ - Gonz
~~rainbows,~~ - Gonz
~~music,~~ - Gonz
~~dancing,~~ - Gonz
~~laughing,~~ - Gonz
~~FoldsFive,~~ - Gonz
~~dark chocolate,~~ - Gonz
~~gin,~~ - Gonz
~~cherries,~~ - Gonz
~~my friends,~~ - Gonz
~~films,~~ - Gonz
~~my family,~~ - Gonz
~~my hair colour.~~ - Gonz
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

This would be my list
That Gonz, what a dreamboat
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

You just think that because I controlled the world media to make people think that.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

Harvey birdman!

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 7 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

Whooooooooo is the man in the suuuuuuuuuuuuuiiitt?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Bad things happening to good people.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

I like debiberately elbowing small children in the facehole in supermarkets.
Then blame them for not looking where they are going.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 7 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

That Gilgamesh, he's ace.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

He's like the Anti-Gonz

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

You mean he has a flatmate who hasn't been with your wife?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

I'll give you 2/10 for this
Which is one more than i gave your mum
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

At least you gave her one.

(

thealternativefact, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

I'll give your misses 4/10 inches
Which is more than I gave your mum
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

four tenths of an inch?
that'll make her eyes water
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

You're not meant to stick it in her eye

(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

She's not used to something so big.
Still, it'll be like chucking a hotdog down a hallway.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

Yes

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Better than you anyway

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Fuck you, you fucking fuck!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

*giggles*
Smile!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

Meh.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

I like Gigglymess too
and I like Gonz. I'm not a hater
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

Hating can be fun, if properly applied.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

except of...
GEEEEEEESE
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

I love you all
ALL OF YOU
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

They both seem nice
although Gilgamesh and I haven't really spoken.

edit: Fine. Gilgamesh seems like the sort of cunt who likes to stick his little finger up young girls' urethras and lick their tears off their cheeks.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

haha, what?
I'm nice ???

I think you must have me confused with another Gilgamesh. I'm an utter cunt.
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

^PANIC

(

thealternativefact, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

For goodness' sake.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

Gilgamesh raped my downs sister, she got pregnant, then he raped their mutant child :(

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

Getting Gilgamesh confused with Sexface there
Schoolboy error.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

no, he's getting his sister confused with my sister

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

Gilgamesh never has a bad word to say about anyone
He volunteers at the local wounded kittens centre, making tiny little splints for their tiny broken little legs.

Bless him.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

it's only fair, I'm the one breaking their legs most of the week

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

It's fixed. No nice aspersions are being cast.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

GET ANGRY GILGY ! GET REALLY ANGRY !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

you're not getting out of it that easily fat man
I still hate everyone
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

Manc bastard!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

I'm totally going to rape him.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

right, I've got a screenshot of that, you can't change your mind now

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

Haha.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

He'll fight you off you know
Hates women does gilgamesh.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

When you're next eating at a place which has sachets of salt & pepper, stick a couple
in your wallet. Then when you're at work eating a salad which needs salt, you're sorted.

Top tip, that. Also I like eggs. Poached eggs on Marmite on toast is amazing.
(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

You put salt on a salad!?

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

This. What?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

Precisely, surely the anchovies make it salty enough.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

If there is anchovies.
Sometimes just a plain salad is nicest. Cherry tomatoes especially. Nom.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

There'd better be anchovies.
I INSIST.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

What if it's salad that's only for me?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

As a socialist I believe that everybody should share their food with me.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

I try and make other people share my food
I feel bad if other people don't get some.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

d
(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

I never feel ba, broadsword.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

He meant your sig.
weapon of bass estruction
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

But of course.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

snipurl.com/hjkwg nsfw
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Mmm I do
It's ace, especially on a Greek Salad.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

I'm so confused.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

maybe it's a Glasgow salad.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Chips?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

The chippy near the job centre does chippy sauce!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Chippy sauce?

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

CHIPPY SAUCE

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

CHIPPY SAUCE

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

Which job centre?
Also... what is chippy sauce?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

Thank you for answering my question so clearly...

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

it's the brown sauce they have in chippies,
that they add vinegar to whenever they start to run out of it, presumably on the understanding that it "makes more of it".
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

pop potato chips in a blender for 2 mins complete with a splash of milk,
the residue from cutting some wood & a couple of old circuit boards.

Hey presto! Chippy sauce.
(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

I really need to get up and go buy some food
BLEH
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

what if you're eating a salad that needs pepper?
never thought of that, did you? eh? eh?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

there is mention of pepper sachets in his post

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

well done Mr Getting The Joke

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

LOLOVERSIGHT

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Lover Sight?
Awww, you sweetie-pie.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

you see Gonz, I think she's trying to pull a fast one on me.
The problem with comments like hers on the internet is because you can't hear intonation you can't assess meaning fully.

So taking an uppity stance on my reply makes her appear a bit like a dick, but by me typing all this I appear also like a bit of a dick.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

we're all dicks on the internet.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

TOGETHER MAYBE WE COULD ALL BECOME THE MEGADICK!
WE COULD FLY THROUGH SPACE BEING DICKS!
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

I don't get this adding salt to food nonsense

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

I'm with you on that one, G'mister.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Some cooking is no good without seasoning.
Sometimes things which are made for you don't have enough seasoning. Honestly, making a chicken & veg soup with no seasoning all the way through makes a terrible soup. You need seasoning.
Seasoning seasoning seasoning seasoning.
(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

yeah,
rubbish cooking.
Although actually, most rubbish cooking has loads of salt in it.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

Too much salt is horrid, often none at all is bland. That's why you have table salt I suppose.

(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

It's what you're used to, I guess,
like sugar in tea.
I went right off salt when I was about 5, during lunch at primary school, when I added far too much salt to the blandest stew in the world in a misguided attempt to make it taste of anything at all. Well it did taste of something at all - it tasted of salt - but was even less edible because of it. Then a teacher told me it was bad for my kidneys and I've never put salt on anything since. Which really confused my parents for a while, because putting salt on your chips is "the rules" or something.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

Salt on chip shop chips is essential in my view
I had some the other week without any salt or vinegar and it was horrible.
(

magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

CHIPPY SAUCE

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

Ohh, I read Gran's post as "adding salt to everything".
Yeah', some things really need salt, when cooking, but I'm not one to add it to everything.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

the only thing I put salt in is the pasta water.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

A sprinkling of rock salt over liver is a must.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

first I've heard of it.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

A grind of salt & pepper on an egg sandwich is yum.
I have salt on some chicken things, some potato things and undressed salad. Lol, undressed salad lol it's nekkid.
(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

No salad needs salt
And my work kitchen has it just in case.

Eggs are good. I may have eggs for dinner (mainly because I think that is the only thing in my fridge other than gin)
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

Ginny eggy cup

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Get one of each condiment, make a painter's pallet out of your plate, combine to make a Van Goth of flavour on your plate.
Esspeicaly good with chips.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

I bet Van Gogh was a goth, emo cunt cutting his ear off.

(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

oh right, nice one, now they've got an excuse to bang on about food for another fucking hour
god I hate you all so much

you dull bastards
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

Hello, I have tits.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

Ding dong merrily on Irish

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

I'll just rush through your Online Validation papers
your Official Gilgamesh Seal of Approval certificate is in the post
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Hooray!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

Lets change the subject
it´s hot here today
(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Too hot for soup?

(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

salt and pepper in salad is ace
as well as on eggs
I have an egg wrap with salt and pepper RIGHT NOW
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

♥^KRISTINE! ♥
(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

I just got birthday presents from work.
YAY.

I did go a rather fetching shade of red though :s

When was the last time you were embarrassed? Other than this one, mine was Saturday night when some bloke in the pub said to me and milknosugar 'Look at her, she's got that look on her face that says 'I swallow''.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

I walked face first into the same door twice yesterday.
Usually it's just hooked, so if you lean on it (it's rather heavy) it'll open, so I don't break my stride. However, yesterday, it was properly shut so I smashed into it at quite a pace. Then again about an hour later.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Was anyone watching?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

No, it's just around the corner from where everyone is
they heard the bang and the 'aaah, fuck' each time though. So it's still quite embarrassing.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

Ah, that's not good

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

It's not brill, no.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

I was filming

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

HAAAAAAhahaha

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

Thank fuck I'm so sexy.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

We had a huge heather of a teacher at school...
... who was moving one of those telly-trolly things through some double doors.

Two kids opened up both doors for her, she thought they were calling her fat, and then she susspended them for the rest of the week.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

Score for the kids.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

I'm not sure
I don't tend to get embarrased all that often.

What face says "I swallow" then?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

An arched eyebrow
and a sassy wink.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

Every low hanging political poster after the first weekend of the campaign.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Mine, apparently

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Well, apparently so, but was it an expression or just your face in general?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Or the tattoo on her forehead?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

Just my face it would seem.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Oh
That's not very nice of him. Unless it's true.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Haha, who said that to you?
Fucking hell.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

Sorry about that.

(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

That old beardy bloke at the bar
who was with that group of older blokes.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

happy birthday!

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

Doing a 5 second fart on the tube
After eating far too much garlic
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

Puking in the middle of a Wetherspoons at 6pm after eating 5 Creme Eggs as quick as possible.
While wearing one of those hats to make you look bald and a t-shirt that says 'I Love James'.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

I made a joke about poo yesterday during someone's presentation
and a boy on my course who was sat next to me said he loved me
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Last night I woke up to some banging.
There was loads of banging, which sounded like it was coming downstairs. It sounded like the club was being broken in to.

It got to the point where I was about to wake up the house and call the police, when I realised it was a plank of wood that's outside my window.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

Planks don't make noise on their own.
Do you have a poltergheist?
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

It's a plank of word to stop me walking on the unsafe parts on my roof-garden (hard to explain).
But one corner's nail came off and so it was flapping in the wind.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

POLTERGHEIST!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

I was seriously about to wake up the house at one point
=((((
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

I read that as felching shade of red

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

You would

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

BOSH

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

When the egg sandwich you planned is halted by mouldy bread and a stinking egg
you know it was never meant to be.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Don't be silly
Go to the shop!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

gutted

(

jenpots, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

I like egg sandwiches but the smell when opening the offending guffwedge is almost off putting.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

guffwedge?
an amazing description of an egg sarnie if I ever read one
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Haha, gutted.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

Eggs are just fucking wrong.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

controversial

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I only like them in cakes or other cooking.
On their own they're gross.
(

Bats, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

ugh, cakes?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

you like battenburg

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

shut up,
I'm being needlessly controversial.

It's the marzipan that makes it, I reckon. The sponge I could take or leave. Unless I've eaten the marzipan. You can't get a slice of battenberg and just eat the marzipan, that would be rude.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Battenburg is the generic choice for granny's everywhere.
It's about as imaginative as chocolate digestive.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

I think that's most of its appeal,
it's such a wonderfully twee cliche.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

what's Jean-Luc Picard's favourite cake?
Battenborg.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

I'd have thought that would be his least favourite.
Waiter: What sort of pastry would you prefer, Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise: Make it choux.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

oh the borg outside are frightful
while inside is so delightful
as the warp drive starts to glow
make it so make it so make it so
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Engorge!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

Eventually, when I meet a girl special enough...
... I'm going to sit with her in a posh resturant (maybe TGI Fridays), get Patrick Swaizy to walk up to us, point his finger, and go 'engage', then I'll bring out the ring and say "Wanna make it so?".

The ring will have LEDs built in.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Patrick Swaizy?
What?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Ohh, Patrick Stewart.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

just as well I'm here,
you could have made a right fool of yourself in front of the girl of your dreams.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

*Phones up Patrick Swaizy*
Patrick.... yeah', yeah', fine. Listen, you know that thing... well... slight problem. Yeah', sorry mate.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

they're used to bind the mix together.
or your cake would crumble
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

My cake can fuck off,
crumble or no.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

When you think of them as hen periods or foetues, then I can see why you take this view
but from a protein, taste and packaging point of view, they were MEANT to be eaten.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

yeah, by the growing chick,
but, you know, losers weepers.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Nah, I have no problem with that aspect, seeing as they're neither.
I just can't stand the taste or smell.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

They are kind of a hen period
As it's an unfertilised egg
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

God I wish I could go home for a while.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Hang yourself, then you'll get the day off

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

I'm off sick anyway.
I want to go home to Irelandland.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

You could always steal my face, go to Leeds and use my free return flight with Jet2 to go to Dublin and back

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

Fucking hell the ferry is expensive nowadays.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

And those longs months at sea can have a strange effect on a chap.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

I'm looking at the Stena Line website,
and it seems you can't get a ticket for a single person, you have to take a car.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

I'm loking at Irish Ferries, you can be a foot passenger on there.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

I don't know why you can't be a foot passenger anywhere,
it's not like you have to sit in your car the whole time.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

Yeah, that's retarded.
Not everyone has a car.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

I'd have taken you as I should have been going to the North West 200
this weekend. But I'm not now, so I can't.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

Not on their pricelist either.
www.irishferries.com/fares-offers-ireland-from-britain.asp
unless I'm missing something...

Could get a motorbike ticket, and just pretend to have one.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

You'd have to make motorbike noises.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

that's the idea.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

Yeah, the first option is foot passenger.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

Yup £25

(

WormuIus, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

Ooh, that's not a bad price.
I'd have to get to Pembroke, though.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

you can get a coach, that goes on the ferry (presumably)
from £15.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

Maybe it's an amphibian bus.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

oh,
you have to put a date in.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

Yep.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

stick it in a cup

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

and then what?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

fuck it & eat it

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Eww, having sex with food and then eating it, is unhygienic.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

I bet you´ve munched on some chef´s special sauce in your time

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

Uh oh
Catastrophe!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

two slices of bread
loads of butter
one big fat egg
what does it make?
mr gear's smelly kitchen
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Yay Lawnmower Deth!

(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

haha
wounded

*Dr. House*
18 year old female presents with tight chest, difficulty breathing and occasional sharp pain when she inhales. Go
(

weaver., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Cushings.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

Sounds like a bad case of attention seekingitus!

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

doesn't sound good.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

Really?
It's ticking all the boxes for me.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

apparently she gets it every so often
just this time it's gone on for longer
(

weaver., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Bra too tight.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

Pervy lezza

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

lupus

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

it's never lupus

(

weaver., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

tit stones
like kidney stones,

but tits different.
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

I hear mykey's misses has tits like two bags of gravel.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

But out in the shed they some really sexy bags of gravel, so it all balances out.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

If he buries her face up, he'll have somewhere to park his bike.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

pics or GTFO
surely?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

:P
b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=71696
(

weaver., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

*internet stalks*

(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

*adds to the list*
along with bobson and ty&gn, and someone who used the worst ever chat up line on her :D
(

weaver., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

What?

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

nevermind

(

weaver., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

I thought you said female?

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Is there a reason you're linking to that profile?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

i know her
o**l*ne
(

weaver., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

Ohhh....
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=7565
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=38422
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=12899
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=19246
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=36128

Hay, this is fun !
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

she's the one im talking about
the 18 year old, it just happens that she signed up
(

weaver., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

I'm so confused =((((
Did she show you her intertits or something?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

alas no :(
she's ill, right, i make a post about it, then i link to her profile when Goatse asks for pics
(

weaver., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

okey dokey.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

I like how you included yourself.

(

WormuIus, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

I know him the most.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

Are you listing people you know offline?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

~~people you know offline~~

he's being shockingly sardonic today. i think he's been led astray by bad people again
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

Uh oh
Always trying to play with the bigger boys, it's not good for him.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Check her shoes.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

I am genuinely sorry to hear th

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

I want a sponge bath.
I can't be bothered to shower but I need a wash. I need a gimpy slave to sort this out.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

Isn't Wormulus gimpy enough?

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

ermmm nope

He dumped me a while ago!
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

~~dumped me a while ago~~ 's an idiot
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

*Voulenteers*

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

I genuinely feel for you,
when this happens, I just go and get one from the bakers.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Oh MAN ! I'm....i'm..... I'm really sorry for you.
Here, take a seat, would you like a cup of tea? I've heard of some down-right rotten things to happen to a person, but that's just nasty. Are you going to be all right? Do you have someone you can call? No, no, here, take my phone, call up your parents. It's times like these that familys come together, they'll understand. They love you, they always will. It's ok mate, you let it out big fella. Here, I won't bellittle you by saying I know your pain, or use clichés like "It'll get easier in time", but life has a funny way of working itself out.

Here, have my sandwich, I didn't want it anyway, had a big breakfast. Would you like some MAN THE FUCK UP with that?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

MY IRONYOMETER IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

QUICK ! *splashes some attention over you*
There we go, much better.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

So....
What music you into lately?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:09, archived)

The music of your mum.
She loves a bum note
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

Does your misses still do that thing with her tongue?
Actually, I don't know why I'm asking you, I'll ask Sexface.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

arf!

(

jenpots, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

George Harrison

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

He shot first.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

What?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

Still EBM/noize
*glowsticks*
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

what?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

Electronic Body Music

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

Erm, anything and everything.
I'm drifting through music styles again. Might settle back into some dodgy synthy goth stuff, or move onto something more fulfilling.
(

Bats, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

None at all really.
Concentrating on the stuff the band is doing. No time really.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

I saw this on /links recently
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z19zFlPah-o

I really like the tune and will get the album (as soon as i can be arsed to find it)
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

The music isn't my cup of tea, but the video is pretty cool.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

That's in Edinburgh!

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Hed (pe) mostly

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

what ever gets played on the radio
/lazy
(

jenpots, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Electro Skifflecore

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

Today, I am listening to Poison.

(

thealternativefact, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I'm going to pretend you said Journey.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

I am now listening to WASP

(

thealternativefact, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

White Anglo Saxon Prodisants?
Oh no, Clendrix, I'm going to have that tune from American History X stuck in my head all day now... again.

My eyes have seen the glory of the trampling at the zoo.
We washed ourselves in n*gger's blood and all the mongrals too.
We're taking down the zog machine, jew by jew by jew
The white man marches on.

=(((
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Sing it Gonzers! Sing like you've never sung before!

(

thealternativefact, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

It's a sorry state of affairs when I can't remember the origional lyrics anymore =/
However, going through an old hard drive, I've found my download of EVERY King of Queens episode =D
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

I got the White Lies album.
It's really good. I like TV on the Radio and Passion Pit as well.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

www.last.fm/user/spakkenkhrist/charts
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Continuing the theme
in a film version of /talk, who would play you and why? Who or what would play other b3tans?

If you can find a picture to link to, that would be most helpful, thank you
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

Dom Deluise.
Fat.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

perfect!
i58.photobucket.com/albums/g254/dollabill1/no.jpg
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

The fat kid from Superbad
Or Telly Savalas' brother
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

I'd be a cartoon character voiced by me.
Or that woman who plays Olive in On The Buses.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

yes yes,
but when are the random burn addresses being sent out? :p
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

I'll kick your shins off on Saturday
if you don't SHU.

I actually did my randomising last night. I'm waiting for one fucker to send me their address.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Oh sorry
Send it to Jesus, care of the Pentagon
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

Ryan Maloney.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

Supermatt would be played by that chap who played the child catcher

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

Dakota Fanning looks more like him

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Robert Helpmann

(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

I'd be played by Jim Carrey doing that "talking with his butt" bit in Ace Ventura.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Lois Griffin (what?)

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Harvel Keitel

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Ed Byrne if he dyed his hair Ginger.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

In the younger years I'd have Steven Hawkins being me as a hyperactive, tree climbing whippersnapper

Middle years I'd have Johnny Depp. Obvious. All girls & boys love the Depp.

Older years I'd have an upset pug on the shoulder's of Kevin Mcculkin wearing a fantastic 70's brown wing collered suit.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

If people realise I'm too ugly in real life for Johnny Depp to play me I'll choose Tracy Chapman as a replacement

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

Maybe they could Cher the role?

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

...
...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Sean Tully, apparently :(
But obviously at the very outer reaches of his acting spectrum, what with me being all manly and that
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Tee hee.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

You flamin gallaaaaaaaah, Toady

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

That overly camp one from will and grace
He'd play Maffers
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

I've already done me.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

how autoerotic!

(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

James Corden would play Mooie.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

He's yummy.
James Corden, I mean.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

0_0

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

I know.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

Spangolin would be played by the mother from The Lost Boys

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

~~The Lost Boys~~ The Borrowers
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

NO, LEAVE IT WHERE IT WAS. BAD THEO.
~~The Borrowers~~ The Lost Boys
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

SORRY GONZY

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Diane Wiest (sp?)
I *heart* that woman. The Lost Boys was on the other week and I said to FF that spangles looks like her.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

hehe
I had to Google her - we do look a bit alike
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

Simon Amstell
Redubbed by Rik Moranis
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

anyone with long hair and a beard
i've had many lazy comparisons
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

Dave Lee Travis

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Jesus

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Justin Lee Collins

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

Noel Edmonds.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

Richard Branson

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

Will smith.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

four identical dwarves, alternating as one is spent

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

I would be played by Penfold out of Dangermouse

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Crumbs!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

SickRik
should probably be played by Ron Jeremy
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Or Morph

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

~~Ron Jeremy~~ an oompa loompa.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

Ewan McGregor plays me
Failing that, Rick Astley
Failing that, Karren Matthews
(

rob, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

Too bad.
We've already hired Ding to play you.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

baldmonkey.
Everyone else would also be played by baldmonkey.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

If we don't start new threads at least once every hour, the bomb that Dennis Hopper placed under the servers in Texas will blow up.
Speed 3: The Internet.

Who gets to be Sandra Bullock?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

Her gob is wrong

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

not as wrong as Julia Roberts' gob
I sometimes worry that if she smiles too much the top of her head might fall off
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

now that is a 3-dick-gob if ever there was one

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I heard she swallowed a Ford Capri, sideways, for a bet

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

I mean wrong as in my cock's not in it
Also, hello my favourite mentalist
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

I want to be a helicopter pilot or someone with a big boat.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

You can drive the pedalo

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

No, I want something with an engine.
BIG boat, actually. One of those weird hovery Russian huge things that James May was going on about.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

Only if you do Famke Janssen's accent from Goldeneye.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

Trannyman woman out of Nip/Tuck?
I've not seen that film. I'm not a Bond person.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

It's the sexiest accent ever known to man.
Plus, she looks damn fine in that film.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

What accent IS it
I can do accents. I'm shit at impressions, though.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

She's supposed to be Georgian.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

She prononounces her 'u's and 's's wrong for Georgian.
the 's's should be more sch.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

That character was a fantastic femme fatale.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

Erkranoplan?

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

That sounds about right.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

I think they only built the one.
Edit: I'm wrong. And I can't spell:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ground_effect_vehicle
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Well I want that one, then.
edit: no, the massive one they showed going over the sea.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

That's the second picture.
The Caspian Sea Monster.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

electroplankton?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

Electric Light Orchestra.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Christ
I read that as paedo.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

I'm not driving a paedo
it'll only take me to the fucking park.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

He'll probably by you ice cream though, so it's swings'n'roundabouts, at the swings'n'roundabouts.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

Sandra Bullock makes a great Sandra Bullock.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

*bullock for bullock fives*

(thediscokingpin, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

*fives*

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Is that from Chris de burgh's unreleased ladyboy in red?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

B side

(thediscokingpin, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

The one who looks most like Al Pacino

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

I don't want to be a milkman anymore Ted.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

Isn't there something to be said for another mass?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

I hate you Milkman Dan

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

THOSE WOMEN WERE IN THE NIP!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

Sandra Bullock does

(thediscokingpin, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

Can I be Keanu Reeves?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

Sorry. You're acting is too good for that role.
I also just turned down a lettece leaf for the same reasons...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

Can you act? Can you speak louder than a murmour?
Will you and the lead have absolutely no chemistry at all?

If you answered "No", to all of these.

You can be Keanu.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

so there was chemistry?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Stop being so picky.
I'm not perfect you know.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

pretty close
x
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

we've already cast a plank of wood with a grumpy face drawn on it
sorry
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

oh boo

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

......
....

....

..... wooah.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

Friz

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

I've got the tits for the role
But they're a bit hairy
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

Just get them waxed
Or employ a body double for the topless scenes.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

I'd make a terrible Sandra Bullock

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

Your face isn't nearly silly or strange enough

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

in a film about the internet
who plays gmos?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Woody Harelson

(thediscokingpin, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

we both look good.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

A long faced dog playing the harmonica

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

Anne Sellors
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

OK so if I can't be Keanu Reeves
can I be the lady on the bus with the big tits that if you buy the DVD and watch it frame by frame you can see her mimsy when she falls over?
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

I'm already sanding my bullocks

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

they won't like that

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

I'm reading that in a south african accent.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

Why?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Because then it sounds like "I'm already sending my bollocks (to you)".

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

pfft! You are a loon

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

Your Mum

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

OK team, I've been trying to think of a way to describe /talk to non-b3tans
so far I've come up with
"leave your ability to be offended at the door, enter into a world where nothing is taboo. Everyone is a geek, freak or general weirdo just like you."

That's about it so far, how would you describe /talk to outsiders?
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

There's plenty of taboos on /talk
they're just different to normal taboos
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

Oh yes.
I need to add
"make sure you can spell, use punctuation and know the difference between their, there and they're or you will be crucified"

Edit. different FROM
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

When people use "there" to mean all of them it's not so bad, as it's just laziness.
When people use "they're" when they mean "their" or "there", you can tell they're trying to use the correct one but they're too retarded to manage.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

Yes, because everybody knows that "they're" is the merging of two words
and the apostrophe substitutes the missing letters

THEY REtards
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

YOU PUT WHAT IN YOUR TEA?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

BACON? IN LASAGNA?
CURRIED STEAK?!?
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

children? treat? mcdonalds?

(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

You like COLDPLAY>>>???!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

woah, woah hang on
wait,

do you really like Coldplay?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

no, not really
I just don't feel the need to hate them.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

they're completely inappropriate in tea

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

do you know how i know he's gay?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

He gets a stiffy when you bum him?

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

*taps nose*
*points at you*
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

He gets a stiffy when stuj bums your nose?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

BINGO

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

Hitler took a Jewish child into McDonalds once

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

Were you that child, theo?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

*sniff* and then the bad man made me eat pork

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

By that I mean his penis

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

you loved it

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

He'd shaved his pubes into a Hitler tache too

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

COR

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

EGG?
IN A CUP?
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

YOU? DRINK? LAGER?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

THAT SEMI COLON IS INAPPROPRIATELY PLACED, YOU INDESCRIBABLE SCROTE OF A HUMAN BEING

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

What's that?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

I would just go
"mnnnnnnnnnnng mng mng mnggg belm belm"
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

This is why Ms Official isn't allowed
She gets a bit Daily Mail after seeing this place. I can't be arsed to explain the memes and the bad smells and wankers. She has cracking tits though.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

+ And then link them to some of Syncy's later posts.
The medicated ones.
With the photo links.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

I think rob described it best
A bunch of fat retards shouting at each other. (I'm paraphrasing here)

I'm proud to be amongst that number
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

I don't tend to shout much anymore

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

SHUT IT

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

I say!
*wobbles*
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

This made me laugh
www.b3ta.com/talk/5977882
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

It's full of cunts.
;p
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

And baldmonkey.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

An argument in some sort of support group, somewhere.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

This is good
I will incorporate it somewhere
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

It leaves room (I think) for everyone
including Baldmonkey hiding under his chair, furiously anal digging and chucking handfuls at people.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

"anal digging" is a phrase I didn't need to hear so early on a thursday
morning, Wowzers.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

It's a proper term, one of my close friends looks after mentals
Gooooood morning, Spanglebum. How goes it?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

that makes me do this face :(
It goes well, thank you. I have Much To Do but a cup of tea so it'll be fine. And you?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

Much the same, much the same. Sigh.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

It is true
A have a good friend who is a psychiatric nurse, she has used this phrase on several occasions. Although due to the brown accumulation under the patient's nails they also call it 'gardening'. Yuk.

'ning Cap'n.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Leotards are good, apparently.
Lots of layers incorporating leotards.

Ningles.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

Ha!
'tards wearing 'tards.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

It's an online community of like-minded people, mainly British,
who share a dark sense of humour and a love of kittens.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

This is a good start
but it lacks something *ponders*
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

BALDMONKEY!

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Kittens are rubbish.
/FACT!
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

Smug, self righteous and aloof are in a head on vehicular collision with retarded, needy and occasionally funny.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

with some violent penetrative events

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

Ha.
I like this.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

don't you label me!!!!
what one am i?
(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

You transcend labels Mongy.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

the vehicle

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

"Its a world where i'm wrong about everything."

(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

Nah, not everything.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

See. Once again, he's wrong.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

Oh. That was the point.
*wanders off*
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

Shhh.
;p
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

Yes everything.
Except for the stuff I am right about.
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Its a place where the socially maladjusted come to get attention whilst becoming bitter and upset.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

I do love you, you fat wanker

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

How long will you be in uk for ?

(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

Heading back on Monday morning
so not long now
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Are you still in the approximate area of
outside M25 on the west side ?
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

For another hour or 2 yes, then heading South towards Lu-town ish
back here Saturday afternoon though
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

Oh, because I could have come to visit you in my lunch hour if you were still there
it only takes 30mins for me to drive there. That would be long enough for me to arrive, say hello and then start my drive back, in order to complete all this within my 1 hour for lunch.
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

Where do you work?
Had I known I could have met you for lunch a bit nearer
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

I'm in weybridge

(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

Not far at all!
Never mind, I may well be back again one day.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

*Rubs knees*

(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

Im like the Sexface of being fat

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Talking of which
Seeing as three of our blokes have been arrested and suspended for a bit of self defence and one of name calling, another has been attacked with a machete (albeit not too serious, but you know...scary) and all the punters involved are still at liberty to use our stuff, I will be doing my best to get smacked by one of these cunts in front of everyone. Yes, they are school kids, and one of the blokes they hit and who hit back was nearly 60, his assailant 15 and six foot tall. Grim times.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

I've said it before,
You should be getting a bonus for throwing scrotes like that off the train while it's going over a high bridge.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

Well, they won't be getting on my trains again, not one of them
I'm responsible for the safety of everyone on board, so if that means pissing off a few school kids then so be it. Fuck 'em. It's coming to a head, the union are getting shouty and the company are more worried about PR and retaining the franchise.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

Where do you work ?

(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

Nazi Germany
Or trains
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

Oh, that explains a lot
I had imagined you were in a pub, and was shocked that your punters were school kids. I've been to east Germany, so I know exactly what you mean.

So, tell me, what's all this about trains then ?
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

Long metal tubes
Often filled by wankers at great speed. I have to make them behave in something approaching a civilised manner and shake some money out of them sometimes.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

*Mental images of people wanking furiously*
so, metal tubes, filled with wankers - didn't Cleopatra discover something by filling metal tubes with angry wasps?
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

That there is an horrific accident waiting to happen
Imagine a fanny full of angry wasps.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

Its easy to imagine
I've seen many a fanny that looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp. We're halfway there.
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:22, archived)

I considered applying for a job like yours
Im glad i never did!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

Frankly, it's normally a piece of piss no brainer for decent money
But it only takes one of the cunts to make it all go wrong
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

plus you get to see loads of discarded mattresses.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

And footballs, half cats, exploded pheasants, fat people running while I shut the doors, down women's tops
And the occasional nice person.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

Some people looking to waste time at work, some people just wasting their lives. All talking shit.

Some adult themes, with occasional scenes of violence, nudity & even humour.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

*Clickies*

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

Tubby keeps raising his hands above his head
and then on the way down rubbing his face. I think he's turned Muslim but hasn't quite got the hang of it.
(

magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

Pardon?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

Not just me, then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Tubby is a cunt

(

magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Are you talking about /talk
or is this somebody you can see in your office ?
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Is there a difference?

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

I'm on /talk
but I'm not in your office.
So for the moment, Yes.
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

But we're all baldmonkey really.
Apart from the ones that are Bou.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

can i be eggburger?

(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

If you like, yeah.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

i'm like so going to get another account now
and troll like i've never trolled before
(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

For some reason I'm imagining you in that Flashdance video.
o-O
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

What a feeling

(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

I must be a 'Baldmonkey' type then
I have a penis, not a lady part.
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

It's a guy in the office
I don't have a strapline for /talk
(

magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

like panning for gold in a sewer, everynow and then you fish out a bit of golden sweatcorn, but it's very rare

(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

There aren't any geeks, freaks or weirdos on here
you're all horrifically mundane.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

this.
Most people here are supremely normal, with aspirations of eccentricity.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

I'M WEARING A HAT

(

magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

*Narrows eyes*
For your sake I hope you're outdoors, sonny jim.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

I'm not
It is bad form to wear a hat indoors don't you know. Unless it is made of tinfoil, so 'they' can't read your thoughts.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

COMEDY TIE

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

Twats. On the Internet.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

where?!

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

IT'S LIKE SLAMMING YOUR BITS IN A CAR DOOR FOR FOUR HOURS A DAY

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

You could sell those bits on ebay
and make some money.
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

easy to post in a normal envelope

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

Maybe,
but you could still charge those extortionate postal charges.
(

turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:08, archived)

PHWOAR!

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

We all hate it, yet still come back every day.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

Just like work

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

The two are closely linked for me.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

With this venn diagram
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/12431/1176913766.gif
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

Excellent
I do love a good Venn diagram
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

a suposedly comedy website based on humour that spastics still manage to get upset by daily, much to the glee of the horrible bullys and trolls

(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

You're talking about ME, aren't you?
*flounces*
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

i was really just trying to turn this thread into a long and loving, sometimes heartbreaking, yet always gripping conversation about ME

(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

Shit

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

What Mongy does before the pubs open.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

i blame the 24hour drinking rules for the decline of b3ta
and my health
(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

It usually needs more icklepeach, paws and binky.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

it's like a Young Mothers' Coffee Morning in Purgatory
an endless cycle of inane drivel, eating habits and whinging punctuated by the immature screams of a few spoilt brats and salvaged only by the door-slamming arrival and departure of a drunken racist father figure.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

I think this wins

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

A Bag-o-shite that used to be an internet comedy powerhouse

(thediscokingpin, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

/talk was? i must have been on my holidays during that period

(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

I still think b3ta as being one site,
/talk is only a 2nd rate 4rthur, but at least it's not c4mbodia.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

Wah wah I don't like a website yet I'm still hanging around it

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

True, it's like crack; Bad for you, but you still take more.
+ I can gaz the old-skool users I still talk to.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

It's where Grrrmachine adds more words to his already needlessly long rants in the hopes of getting on the popular page

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

A dog tied up in a plastic Sainsbury's bag. The bag has got air holes.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

what kind of dog?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

A German Shepard with a disproportionate head

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

This is the best description of all.

(thediscokingpin, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

it's a ring toss game

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

Good morning :)
What does today bring for you? I hope it is lots of smiles.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 7 May 2009, 7:56, archived)

I've got Latitude tickets and I'm about to do Internet Shopping for Baby Camping Stuff.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

Cor! :)

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:05, archived)

I know!

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:11, archived)

I have been to Latitude for the last couple of years
One of the nicest festivals I have ever been to, I'm sure you will have a great time.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

i have also been the last couple of years
it's brilliant, even though this year's line up isn't as good as in past years
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:57, archived)

can you get an airbed in a baby or do you have to make do with a groundsheet?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:43, archived)

bivvy?

(

mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

Will you be seeing Regina Spektor?
I fancy her a bit. Not as much as you, like, but a fair bit.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

not as much as shambles fancies her
or not as much as you fancy shambles?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

Latter, obvs.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

blates

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

defo

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

fo' sho'

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

I also have Latitude tickets
and will be mostly sat in the comedy tent, apart from Regina Spektor, Nick Cave and The Pet Shop Boys
(

magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

haha, it'd be great if 'nick cave and the pet shop boys' were a supergroup

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

Yes

(

magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

Oh look at me, I'm chewing gum and breathing through my nose
and humming occasionally, and sneeze then say "oh, i do that a lot, i have a lot of allergies". Why the shitting hell are none of these picked up when he was interviewed for the job?
(

magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Give him some allereze and tell him to man the fuck up

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

I might smack a bitch up.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:02, archived)

She'd crush you like a worm.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:02, archived)

How am I supposed to develop my bitch-smacking skills when I have to deal with all this negativity?
:(
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:04, archived)

With stuj's patented Bitch-Slapper-Upper-Simulatorer 5000 of course.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:08, archived)

*Hastily scrawls vaguely female facial characteristics on the moles in a Fisher Price Whack A Mole game in crayon.*
Yours for only £149.99 from stuj's ~~Tat~~ Pimp Training Emporium!
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:14, archived)

Bet she kicks the shit out of you first.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:11, archived)

she'll snap your spine like a dry twig

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

To be sure.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

An exam at 9:20
Possibly watching Star Trek

Work this evening

I've already watched last nights Lost, so that's one thing ticked off the list for today.
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:05, archived)

A Star Trek exam?
Q1) How many members of the crew are there on the Enterprise-C?

Q2) How do you initiate the warp field generators without overloading the warp core?

Q3) Who was the better captain, Kirk or Picard? (Note: This is the only question that actually matters and there is no "just my opinion" about it. Get this wrong and you fail and failures will be shot on sight)

Q4) Who would you knob? Uhura, Troi, Seven Of Nine or that Vulcan bird from the disappointing "Enterprise" series?
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

1) 3 and a half
2) ciijasiie?
3) pat sharp
4) pat sharp
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

The Vulcan bird is the best.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

4) Hmm does the Vulcan one have fake mams?
If so it's definitely 7 of 9.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

Q3) Personally I liked Picard for his sexy smoulderyness
and I like Kirk for his sense of humour .
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

A fried breakfast, then bed.
Then tonight, I'll venture into the Capital Village with it's brightish light and painted lady.
But, for now, *SHAMELESS PANDERING OF LULLY FLUZZY!*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:06, archived)

aren't you on some rock
in the middle of nowhere? Do you even have a village?
(

morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:09, archived)

It's a TOWN.
Even if it is named after the thicker one in the Laurel And Hardy films.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:10, archived)

Oliver?

(

morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Yes.
Port Oliver.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

I imagine it all to be much like Deliverance.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:12, archived)

Nooooo.
well, not that much.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

According to google you are in Kentucky
I like to think this is true

I know it isn't though :(
(

morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

Oh Christ, that might make me Syncy!

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

pffft
when was the last time you took a picture of your cock and put it on b3ta?
(

morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

I'm not sure.
I've been too busy falling down stairs and shooting imaginary nigger-squirrels.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

:D
Daft chap.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

;)
*Tickles*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:41, archived)

I have a meeting
with some fellow students on our presentation on Celso Furtado's economic theory.

i'm not sure I know why i study this
(

morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:08, archived)

EXCITEMENT!
SUMS!
MONEYS!
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:09, archived)

BORINGNESS!
THEORIES!
NO MONIES!
(

morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

:(

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

I know :(
I think I'm going to change and try my hand at some sort of engineering
(

morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

i'm expecting a job offer
if this happens, i'm going to binge
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:13, archived)

Huzzah!
Good luck chap!
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:15, archived)

:)
thanks!
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

I'm off to collect ....
5kg of Homemade Lorne Sausage
5kg of Homemade Pork Bangers
10 Forfar Bridies

And pay for it in beer!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:15, archived)

I read that last bit as brides.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

It wont be as good as back here....

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Scottish Butcher
Just moved to Jakarta, tried the first batch last week and it's effing brill!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:29, archived)

I'm wasting time here for a bit
then having a shower, getting dressed and driving down to Tunbridge Wells for a wedding.

Morning lovely lady! *hugs*
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

did you get your spunky cervix yet?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:20, archived)

not yet
but I have spent an evening with myself, so I am not quite so crazy now.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

Excellent work

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

I feel I must apologise for my outrageous behaviour yesterday
and thank /talk for being so understanding
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

SsssSsSsssPpoooOOONNgGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!
YAY! /talk's favourite resident of Derek and Clive.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

I'm not there right now you know

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

Aye, I've gahered that.
You've been talking about crowds that consist of more than three people.

And I hope you're enjoying civilisation.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

Shame I couldn't nip over and see you really.

Civilisation is overrated, too many people getting in my way
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:29, archived)

I don't know. It's probably for the best.
I think my dingalike would cut off my winky if she thought I was going to give you a spunky cervix.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

ah, jealous type is she?

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

Nah, just violent.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:35, archived)

ok, good job I am way over here then
wouldn't want you to lose your vital assets
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:38, archived)

FUCK YOU ARNO

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

She won't call me Arno.
:'(
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

well now you ask, I've configured an instance of mySQL as a linked server in SQL Server
but I can only query it using openquery

and I like breasts quite a fair bit too
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

Yes. Moobs ftw.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:26, archived)

no no no
not moobs

ladybumps
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

Davemoobs?

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

ladybumps or gtfo

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

*Jiggles forlornly*

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

I've had 3 1/2 hours sleep
I predict today to start badly and go rapidly downhill from there.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:24, archived)

poor Tentacles
*applies tea and sympathy*
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:26, archived)

you sound like a man in need of a glass of warm refreshing wee

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

I'm not right until I've had my first cup of wee.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

you're bloody weird mate, that's what you are

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

Pot. Kettle. etc

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

If drinking your own piss and photoshopping Chris Packham's face onto a naked photo of your dad is weird
well gosh darn it just call me Mr. Weird.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

It's none of that.
It's the.....other...thing.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

Late reply right here.
Today is my last day of work til Tuesday. Yes. I'm off to the theatre tonight to see Blood Brothers. I hope I don't get all stabby due to over exposure to Scouse accents.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

That's them two blokes that wail at each other isn't it?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

Yeah. Think so.
I've not seen it before. I know its set in Liverpool and one or possibly both die in the end. It'll make a pleasant change from sitting around in my pants posting nonsense on an internet messageboard.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

Oh right I was actually thinking of a band by the same name.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

*Resists urge to strikethrough that last bit*
Have fun.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

Ooh I love that show
And that reminds me, my mum wanted me to get tickets to something for her. *goes to try and remember what*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

I'm not entirely sure how I've managed to get washed, teeth brushed, dressed and to work.
Very tired. Strange dreams.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

Strange dreams are made of these
How did I get dressed and cleaned?
I traveled to work mysteriously,
Everybody's looking at something.

*now realises the underwear was put on the outside of the clothes*
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

I wouldn't mind, I've got fucking robot knickers on.
YES.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

You utter geek.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

Some might say.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

Over the past few years I have noticed a sharp increase
in the amount of times I have gone to work with my boxers on back to front.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

+ and on my head.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

Does it not feel uncomfortable?
I'm not going to strop at you today, I've got my big grown up girl head on.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

This worries me
I shall have to incorporate this new persona into my poorly drawn and executed comic strip I am working on.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

And only discovering while attempting to have a quick wank?
Know the feeling well!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

Theory test.

(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

Good luck!

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

I'm going to see that Star Trek Kids film tonight
Today's sunny and I'm slightly hungover. YES
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

Ok.
HURRAH for the second line!
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

Those were some very nice otters.
Behind the times I know but how do you like that youtubedoubler site?

it is pretty neat I think
I've been doing pretty much the same thing for a while with multiple tabs, but it's a handy way to share video combinations.
Next step would be speed control or variable loops maybe.

You lot got any doubleups you like so far?
Is the whole greater than the sum of its parts?
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:08, archived)

I don't know.
I wonder if my life would be better with Flash installed.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:08, archived)

Flash is pish
I repeat: Flash is pish
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:21, archived)

agreed
haven't tried to do anything with it myself
and though I have seen some neat and tidy stuff done in Flash
for the most part it's grossly abused by shoddy designers.
in the WOW THIS IS NEAT kind of way when NO IT'S NOT AND NOW THE PAGE TAKES SIX TIMES AS LONG TO LOAD YOU FUCK
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:37, archived)

I think I'd probably understand your post a lot better if I was to click the link
I like Maryland chocolate chip cookies, if that helps at all
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:14, archived)

IT JUST POSSIBLY MIGHT
there are specialty import shops here that carry all sorts of British crap.
Jaffa cakes are well and good but why are people so fixated on Walkers crisps?

the link is to a site which loads two youtube clips of your choosing simultaneously in simple loops.
you will probably not regret clicking it.
well possibly.
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:17, archived)

ask if they do Fray Bentos pies
you will not regret it
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:19, archived)

Golden Wonder crisps were FAR superior to Walkers.
But they don't make them anymore.
Because all the gullible twats started buying Walkers instead because of their adverts.
CUNTS, the lot of 'em.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 4:22, archived)

yet another good reason to hit Gary Lineker with a shovel
RIGHT IN THE PANCREAS

the flappy-eared gurning prick
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:24, archived)

YEAH!

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 4:26, archived)

I don't like all this responsible drinking bollocks that's happening now.
Like having to ASK for your drink to be a double in the Sgts Mess.
And I agree with Gilgy about the choc / choc chip cookies. They are nyom.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 4:18, archived)

Also, I'm watching Elvis Costello on the telly.
I used to quite like Elvis Costello, but he's wearing a coat, a hat and a scarf indoors.
This makes him a pretentious wanker who deserves strangling with the cunt garotte he's got around his neck.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 4:20, archived)

I hate him, simply because I hate someone who really likes him
Oliver's Army was a good song though

I think I shoplifted that from Woolworths, that's how good it was
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:22, archived)

He looks a bit jooish now too. EDIT: by which I mean he's got a touch of the David Smug Pretentious Cunt Baddiel about him.
Probably because the hat looks like one of them Rabbi ones.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 4:25, archived)

Was he wearing it in
a wanker's knot?

I had to explain the error of his ways to a man wearing a red scarf in such a manner indoors this evening.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:28, archived)

Yeah.
On the plus side, Herbie Hancock's still fucking great though.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 4:30, archived)

But he hasn't played Angel Of Death yet.
:(
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 4:32, archived)

GOOD SHIT IT'S 4AM
AND I'M OFF FOR A FUCKING WALK.

That's right.

A WALK.
(__, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:05, archived)

Not for a bit mind. Probably after a shower and a coffee lolololol

(__, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:05, archived)

I'll come with you.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:06, archived)

FUCK YES
Actually, I gotta wait for my washing to be done, which means I can't go for another hour.
(__, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:08, archived)

Where are you going?
I'm pretty bored and could do with getting out. If it's within 20 miles of LS6 I'll walk over.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 7 May 2009, 4:09, archived)

You've already been cautioned once about stealing ladies underwear Friz.
You know what'll happen if you get caught again.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 4:15, archived)

Super Secret Principal's Probation!

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 4:23, archived)

You're all so fucking angry.
Relax and enjoy the otters
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 7 May 2009, 3:15, archived)

ME!
www.b3ta.com/board/9426654
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 3:17, archived)

ME AGAIN!
b3ta.com/questions/bugs_and_feature_requests/post415987
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 3:18, archived)

YES!

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 7 May 2009, 3:19, archived)

*Full cape*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 3:20, archived)

:D
'Ning chap. It's probably dole rage or something.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 3:20, archived)

Y'allreet there Stu-udge. How're things?

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 7 May 2009, 3:21, archived)

Acutally, my eyes are hurting, I'm going to bed. COME TO THE MANC BASH STUJ. I OWE YOU BEER.
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19177
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 7 May 2009, 3:22, archived)

Can't mate, I'm going to be a penguin-botherer til next March.
G'night!
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 3:24, archived)

Pretty good ta.
I'm off to the metropolis tomorrow night for fun and drinks.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 3:23, archived)

i agree
i blame the geordie and his fat life
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 7 May 2009, 3:25, archived)

This is very unfair.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 3:28, archived)

true life is cruel
TRUE
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 7 May 2009, 3:29, archived)

I am now!
Just been told that I have meetings abroad next week which have destroyed all of my plans. CNUTS
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 7 May 2009, 3:31, archived)

On the plus side, it's your candlebum day today.

HAPPY B3TADAY!
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 3:36, archived)

Thats is the only good news...
*Lubes up*
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 7 May 2009, 3:46, archived)

*Bums*
*Cakes*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 3:55, archived)

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