Should children view a birth...Should children view a birth...
Here's your answer.
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place... smack his ass again!'
If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:58, archived)
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:59,
archived)
You found it funnier than I did(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:01,
archived)
I didn't laughPlease don't take away my hope
(
whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:59,
archived)
There's always hope for me.I didn't laugh, but ultimately, I AM JMG.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 21:00,
archived)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:00,
archived)
alright kingfiisher(
rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:00,
archived)
With fish, being a Kingfisher and all.(
Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:11,
archived)
What should I do if there's not hope for me?are there places I can go to curl up and wait for death, I mean I know there are some places under motorway bridges but I'd prefer a bit of cardboard to sleep on or skyHD
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:04,
archived)
My wife gave birth and the kid had a massive umbilical cordThey cut it near his navel, but there was still metres and metres of cord hanging from her noo noo. Anyway, the midwife goes up to my wife, presses on her right foot and the cord retracts all the way back up inside her like a hoover. That's why we called him Henry.
(
magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:04,
archived)
I bet she has terribly sore nipples from feeding(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:06,
archived)
Yeah, it really hurtsShe always says "Die son, die son" when feeding. It's not nice.
(
magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:10,
archived)
Who the FUCK are you to judge mecoming here with your trite American-English humour, pronouncing your views on my future and my personality, my very character - you have some nerve.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:10,
archived)
TWEE AS FUCKI didn't laugh. That was a shit joke, involving kids. There's nothing funny about kids. For the first ten years they're festering sacks of disease, then they're insolent precocious vapid cunts, then they fuck of for 40 years, and then they kill you for the inheritence. Kids are, in all, a complete and utter waste of time, and anyone who coos, bleats, simpers or broods for them will be taken to the end of the field and shot.
Now fuck off.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:13,
archived)
Well it's more than you ever did.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:16,
archived)
Someone's nappy needs changing...(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:18,
archived)
JMG.Today I have made great strides, both financially, and with the QOTW people.
Where would you say your major gains were taken, for Thursday?
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:40,
archived)
No major gains,but a major loss of calories at the gym.
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:42,
archived)
I shouted at people on the phone.it was fun. I love my job.
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:43,
archived)
People were unusually polite.Part of my job is emailing people and saying "sorry, we don't have the thing you ordered, and we can't get hold of it from any of our suppliers, I have refunded your card..." and today three people emailed back to say thank you.
(
Batsgirl, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:51,
archived)
I currently having a cup of tea, and am surfing b3ta during the 20 minute break I have allocated myself.What's the most difficult thing you've done recently?
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:07,
archived)
nollie 360 heelflip to nose grind.(
mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:08,
archived)
Ok now I do.(
the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:09,
archived)
I don't belive you.(
the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:08,
archived)
I juggled four dogs with chainsaws sticking out of both ends(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:09,
archived)
both ends of the dog or both ends of you?(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:09,
archived)
all ends of both with ends(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:10,
archived)
Yeah? Well I juggled four angry Mr.Ts who were holding angry Rottweillers.Then I punched him.
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:13,
archived)
I don't remember the last time I did something difficult.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:10,
archived)
getting up at half six this morningthe alarm nearly gave me a fucking heart attack
(
rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:10,
archived)
I decided to have an operation today, that was difficultHopefully it make me stop getting more borked.
(
Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:11,
archived)
Ouch.Will you have a cool scar though?
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:14,
archived)
Decided I am actually going to quit.My sister is getting a puppy. I am so fucking jealous. BITCH.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:11,
archived)
oh a girl puppy,sweet.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:12,
archived)
haha no, she wants a dog.They went to see the breeder today. PUPPY.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:13,
archived)
I was mighty confused the first time someone asked "is it a dog or a bitch?"I was, like, "it's, err... both?"
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:36,
archived)
I built a platform with wheels with which to move my tumble dryer around the flat.This may not sound difficult, but I have no handyman skillzorz at all.
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:15,
archived)
ummyou can buy those. I used to have them for my dishwasher, in my first house.
(
jenpots, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:18,
archived)
Found a general solution for the n-body problem in classical mechanics.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:15,
archived)
I'll go tell the king of sweden.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:17,
archived)
Yeah, but that's only 'cos you couldn't touch the sides.Her fault though, for having such a cavernous mimsy.
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:18,
archived)
I just finished knitting a sock.Not brain-surgery difficult, but many people would have trouble with it.
(
Batsgirl, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:20,
archived)
I'm knitting a hat.I'm not looking forward to ending the easy bit and make it look like a hat.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:20,
archived)
is it knit going round and round from the bottom?if so, no worries, it looks fancier than it is.
(
Batsgirl, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:23,
archived)
It's just a beanie type. I need to start narrowing it soon.I haven't done that in years.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:25,
archived)
So it's really baggy at the moment?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:31,
archived)
Yes. It is very baggy and windswept at the moment.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:34,
archived)
I didn't read the post above this so naturally assume you are talking about your minge(
broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:32,
archived)
Don't disrespect my whispering eye.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:34,
archived)
what the fuck? whispering eye?is this your new thing?
(
rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:41,
archived)
I just watched Role Models.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:44,
archived)
I've been given the most toxic project our company has ever hadafter the guy who was supposed to be setting it live got ill from it. I am really really really not looking forward to it.
(
magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:22,
archived)
Extracting the first and second harmonics from readings in the pressure field of an ultrasound transducer.It was difficult because I'd forgotton how to use matlab.
(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:24,
archived)
staying sane while everything i'm involved with turns to shit*sigh*
(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:25,
archived)
Are you a chef?(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:26,
archived)
Bad.(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:28,
archived)
Good.(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:28,
archived)
but again, at the same time, no.(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:31,
archived)
Cheer up love.Why so melancholy all the time?
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:34,
archived)
Just glum.Sure it won't last. Certainly hope not anyway.
(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:35,
archived)
Come meet my housemate.You'll be happy for the rest of your life knowing you're not him.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:36,
archived)
The stress is just making me very hyper.I'm pretty sure I made one of my housemates cry earlier.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:36,
archived)
I'll make you cry if you'd like(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:40,
archived)
mehI'd rather not. I've manage to go a while without crying.
(
jenpots, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:42,
archived)
Made a spirited defense of the Euro in French.I have to defend civil liberties in Italian tomorrow too.
(
ArthurTheRat, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:35,
archived)
went on a rugby tour(
Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:41,
archived)
I'm getting CROSS and FRUSTRATED.I bet I feel like Ding did when she had FURY AND FULL OF ANGER HUNDAN! >_<
How do you calm and sooth yourself? Imagine you can't use your normal method of powerwanking.
(
Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:46,
archived)
Bath. Gin. Snogging. Snooze.Why are you cross?
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:47,
archived)
OH LIMEY!How's things at your chestier end?
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:49,
archived)
Stressful.Three weeks til I finish uni and I'm stressing.
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:51,
archived)
Do you have somewhere to live in 3 weeks? A job lined up?Any inclination of your mark?...
Me either :(
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:53,
archived)
You could just crawl back to your parents' house, claim dole and mope about your room.Then, if the government's new scheme comes in, they'll create a job for you after 12 months.
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:57,
archived)
What's this?How can they "create" a job out of nowhere?
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:58,
archived)
It's a job or a training place.(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:00,
archived)
Oh.They sent me to "training places". They were about as much use as a fridge in the Antarctic.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:01,
archived)
A fridge would be useful in the Antarctic if you wanted to store something at between 0 and 5 degrees Celsius mind(
mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:03,
archived)
no it wouldn't.you'd have to run the pump backwards, and it would struggle to maintain anything like that kind of temperature gradient. And that's if the exchange fluid doesn't just freeze.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:05,
archived)
Unless of course it was inside a heated building.Like most fridges in the world are
(
mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:21,
archived)
but it wouldn't be,because it would be in the Antarctic. Like I said.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:26,
archived)
Maybe in your hypothetical scenarioBut not in mine
(
mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:44,
archived)
My metaphor,my hypothetical scenario.
Jeez, I should have said chocolate fireguard, that would have attracted less criticism, despite the fact it has one very obvious use.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:46,
archived)
You could use the heat exchangeras a source of warmth. Having plugged it in to one of those Antarctic plugs.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:03,
archived)
Only if it were somewhere warm, of course. Inside, maybe.With the plugs.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:04,
archived)
or an air-conditioning unit where the outlet exhausts into the same room it's supposed to be cooling.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:03,
archived)
Training places aren't meant to be useful.They're meant to look like somebody somewhere is doing something useful.
(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:06,
archived)
they're meant to get you off benefits for 13 weeks,so it looks like nobody has been on them for more than however long they like, but the money still comes from the same place, only under a different budget.
EXCEPT they still kept me on 10p of JSA a week, otherwise I'd have lost my housing benefit and free prescriptions, so it's all completely pointless anyway.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:08,
archived)
This is what I thought.It was on the news a week or two ago, and they offered no explanation.
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:00,
archived)
I don't want to do that.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:02,
archived)
Yeahbut I'm applying for scholarships first.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:09,
archived)
MSc or PhD?They're usually desperate for people to do postgrad stuff, the money burns a hole in their pockets.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:10,
archived)
Ph.DHere if I can.
The topic I want to do is done Bristol, Here, Glasgow and Southampton, as well as amsterdam and some places in germany.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:14,
archived)
In the flat what my godfather bought me, working in PR til I decide what I want to do properly and no, no idea.Two out of three ain't bad.
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:58,
archived)
hahahawelcome to an ENTIRE LIFE of working in PR. That's how careers go.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:59,
archived)
Yup./Ten years of insurance hell
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:04,
archived)
Godfathers buy their godchildren flats?Fook, how do I offload a godson?
(
broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:00,
archived)
My godparents are rubbish to meMaybe I could hold auditions for new ones.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:02,
archived)
How do I broach the subject with my godfather?(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:02,
archived)
This.Mine was handy for decent pressies over the years. Dried up since I hit 22. Disgraceful.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:04,
archived)
I'm not completely sure who my godfather is.I'm assuming that it is my godmother's husband. It was a long time ago.
(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:05,
archived)
Nope, not how it works.Usually mother picks godmother, father picks godfather.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:09,
archived)
My Godfather is called "Drinks".(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:13,
archived)
This but it was at 18, my high school graduation.He's fucking loaded, I wonder what I have to do to get some money.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:07,
archived)
He is married. He's got three daughters. They're all old enough to be my mum.(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:15,
archived)
Chin up pet!Only three weeks.
Plenty of weeks to fuck about in afterwards.
I really should start giving speeches at universities.
I'm quite the encourager of people.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:54,
archived)
Can't do bath, it's full of the lodger's hair.I have gin.
No-one here to snog.
Too much to do to snooze.
I'm trying to sort out a sound system setup that a) does what I want it to do, b) I can afford, and c) will physically fit in my lounge.
I might have to get a man in.
(
Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:49,
archived)
Get lodger to clean bath, snog him as payment, get a man in to sort the speakers, snog him too, drink gin, snooze.DONE.
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:50,
archived)
It's my favourite fantasy. Video it all.(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:53,
archived)
Then we can both watch it on the new cinema setup.TOP IDEA.
(
Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:54,
archived)
I'm VERY confused at this concept of a man CLEANING the bath.:(
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:54,
archived)
I'm even more confused by the concept of a man's hair clogging the bath.Long hair is for girls, surely?
(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:59,
archived)
Pubes and body hair.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:02,
archived)
How long/loose are your pubes that they're going to clog the bath?(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:04,
archived)
to read the subtitles aloud and hum the theme tune?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:50,
archived)
Pieces in a Modern Style by William Ørbit.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:48,
archived)
I listen to gabba while wallowing in a bath of amyl nitrate(
broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:48,
archived)
Oh, imagine if you had a Death Note.Who would you write in it?
I'd write Cilla Black in there. And Moyles.
(
Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:53,
archived)
gGGGRGRRRRRREAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:50,
archived)
dependssometimes I meditate, sometimes I put on some disco tunes and sing along loudly.
(
Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:51,
archived)
I haven't just gone for a drive in agesI may have to do so again soon.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:52,
archived)
Can you drive when angry?I find I am a rubbish driver if I am cross, I have to calm down first.
(
Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:53,
archived)
That is what out of town roads are forGetting onto a road where you can actually put your foot down and drive clears everything away.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:56,
archived)
Oh yes. Even if I'm in traffic, it's easier knowing I don't have to be anywhere or do anything.I can relax, listen to whatever I want and smoke cigarettes, it's all very soothing.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:58,
archived)
I bang my head against my dissertation for a whilepreferably until it's miraculously done and I'm not quite dead.
(
TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:52,
archived)
listen to some music or just get away from the thing that's pissing me off.I banged out 1000 words in 20 minutes.
MoT, ROCKETING THROUGH
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:53,
archived)
Put a bit of William Basinski on the hi-fi.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:53,
archived)
Sing a song you hate in a funny accent while looking at yourself in the mirror(
setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:54,
archived)
i go to bedi fucking love bed
(
rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:55,
archived)
crying.because I am a woman. also the internet. and tea and chocolate.
(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:57,
archived)
i cry when i get angryit's so frustrating
(
rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:58,
archived)
I have a can of Cream Soda.It's not fantastic, if I'm going to be 100% honest.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:58,
archived)
Cream soda is rubbishIt needs ice cream in it.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:59,
archived)
It is, I was inticed by the nice can.I think some Root Beer is in order, I shall have to go shopping tomorow.
I hate Tizar now, but used to buy at least one big bottle a week. I thought the redesign was some cheap local-shop brand, it looked and tasted like it, but that's the offical one =(((
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:04,
archived)
I shout at my children and beat my wife.(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:58,
archived)
I sometimes indulge in the Family Special (tm)(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:02,
archived)
Hello, it's me. JMG.Feel free to explode on the internet.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:22,
archived)
*explodes*Now, are you going to clean up this mess?
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:23,
archived)
I don't wish to revisit Aberdeen.:(
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:24,
archived)
I exploded on the internet thoughThe internet is everywhere.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:25,
archived)
We should meet, and form a plan whereupon my flags are raised in your city.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:26,
archived)
It would replace the vague unease at the English flags I see every now and then that look just a little too nationalist(
ArthurTheRat, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:34,
archived)
To be fair, they're tattooed on the scrawny arms of sailors down at Buggery Wharf.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:36,
archived)
We're best to avoid such people, Shambles.You too, Red Easty.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:37,
archived)
cookie dough frijjs are not good.(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:24,
archived)
I can't, I'm too fat and wheezy.(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:24,
archived)
I have great plans on how people can LOSE weight and COMPLAIN ON THE INTERNET at the same time.I really should begin producing my own infomercials.
GMoS stars as audience participant C.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:27,
archived)
I exploded an hour ago.Can't it wait?
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:25,
archived)
that's all very wellbut where's your dress-wearing assistant moohalaa? has he flounced AGAIN?
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:28,
archived)
He somebody upset that Queen again?Am I going to have to drop a five on some bitch?
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:29,
archived)
I'VE BEEN DOING SOME TINKERINGwww.b3ta.com/links/Slumdog_Milliner
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:32, archived)
I'm wearing most of the internet as a dapper waistcoat.I think I'll just leak a bit from the nipples.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:34,
archived)
I just changed my computer's hard drive.I copied my whole Linux.
So we'll have no explosions in here, if you don't mind, there's delicate stuff about and it will ruin the silence.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:46,
archived)
All board bash on May 29thwould be good to meet some of you lot if you can make it.
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:22,
archived)
I'll be there.(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:23,
archived)
Alright slag.I might come. I'll have finished my finals and that.
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:23,
archived)
I might have to sniff you Limey :)(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:25,
archived)
Salty garbagethat'd be the scent
(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:25,
archived)
Basically, bin water is what im saying.(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:25,
archived)
Don't spoil itShe should smell of win
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:26,
archived)
The smell still lingers...I haven't even worked there for 3 years.(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:26,
archived)
Two years for me, but I'm still finding sodding glitter on my shoes(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:27,
archived)
I can't, I'm bashing on the 30th.(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:24,
archived)
it's a long way to goand i'm scared of everyone
but the premise is sound
(
spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:24,
archived)
I assume somewhere local(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:26,
archived)
DONT FUCK WITH MY MIND MAN(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:27,
archived)
LondonThe cove at Covent Garden
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:27,
archived)
It's good.AND, a plus point for people on the internet, it's above a pasty shop.
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:34,
archived)
Sounds like a cheap night.(
mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:07,
archived)
no I'm not, I'm going on the 30th.(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:26,
archived)
It seems that everybody is having a baby these days.Is it another baby boom?
If you had a baby, what would you call it (name for boy and girl)
(
Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:48,
archived)
Adam for a boy.Bethan for a girl.
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:49,
archived)
Then why did you call yours Chegwin, you daft twat?(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:51,
archived)
Needs more Ascii Picard.(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:53,
archived)
Bethan was our second choice for a girls name.So, if we had another girl we would call her Bethan. See?
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:52,
archived)
Yes.Bethan.
www.babynamenetwork.com/Baby-Name/Bethan.htm
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:52,
archived)
Me and E are not all that fussed about what we call our kids when we have themhowever their middle names will be if boys `Super` or `Spider` or if a girl it will be `Wonder Wo`
My last name is Mann.
nuff said.
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:50,
archived)
I love you both more than is reasonable.(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:51,
archived)
My sisters married name is Drivershe has as her kids middle names
Mini,
Rally
and
Race
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:54,
archived)
I refuse to believe this.Although one of the girls in work has a sister-in-law who named their child Drew. Their surname is Peacock.
o_O
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:58,
archived)
Not 'screw', 'pile', and 'are you talkin to me I don't see anybody else here taxi'?(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:58,
archived)
Screw is goodI would suggest this to my sister but she has had the op.
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:07,
archived)
nah, she cannae have any more kidsher tubes were cut
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:14,
archived)
My cousins were given the option of choosing new first names when they were adopted.The youngest one chose 'Superman'.
They decided it was probably best to keep his original name.
Spoilsports.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:52,
archived)
Cephalopod if it's a boyGruffalo if it's a girl.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:50,
archived)
I'm not sure.There are lots I like, but I haven't whittled it down yet.
(
rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:51,
archived)
I like Maisie, but I think it wouldn't work what with my name being Rosie.(
rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:54,
archived)
Actually I completely forgot that one of my daughter's is going to be called Matilda what like my middle name is.(
rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:55,
archived)
Will you call her Tilly for short?Like the lamp. And the band.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:57,
archived)
Boy - JackGirl - Sarah
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:51,
archived)
One of my favourite films ever ever.(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:02,
archived)
It's an ace filmbut Jack is after Badger's Grandfather (who passed away a few years ago), and Sarah is....well, after seeing Kuffs when I was an impressionable teenager, I decided that my daughter would be called Sarah. Like what Kristian Slater's daughter was called in the film.
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:23,
archived)
It's a sobering thought when everybody you've caught up with in the last week has a sprogOr is having one.
My ovaries are itching.
(
Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:53,
archived)
Heat a bit of barbed wire over a candle and burn them out.Problem solved.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:54,
archived)
Sometimes I regret having decided to not become a parent.Other times I see what other people's kids are like and I smile like a smug bastard.
(
Lord Gnome, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:57,
archived)
Yeah, I'm a bit crap at childcare at the minute.I heated a bottle made with cold water for my niece. Whoops.
(
Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:04,
archived)
Is that supposed to kill them? Or is your sibling a mong?(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:08,
archived)
You're supposed to boil the water then cool it downDue to the bacteria in the water. My niece was ill for days.
(
Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:10,
archived)
Bollocks.Does she get her water out of a puddle?
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:11,
archived)
It's up northAlso: www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/formula/boilingtapwaterexpert/
*she was about 4 months old at the time, my sister had to stop breastfeeding due to a blocked gland or something*
(
Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:21,
archived)
Does the north not have a clean water supply?(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:22,
archived)
I believe there's something about Chlorine and other shit in water(
Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:24,
archived)
Chlorine kills germs.This sounds like a job for ... dun dun duuuuuh! Basic Education.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:33,
archived)
my best mate has two sons. her eldest starts school this september.and she got married on Saturday.
(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:57,
archived)
yeah, what a whoreand what a way to make me look like i'm slacking on the life front! ):
(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:06,
archived)
stop hanging around with breeders thenpeople who think their sole mission in life is to spit out a gloopy sack of wriggling fluids rarely have much to say at dinner parties.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:11,
archived)
Well that's just not true.The admission criteria for the local primary schools is VERY interesting.
(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:17,
archived)
I only know girls names that I like.Emma or Emily, and Lucy. If it's a boy then the father can decide.
(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:52,
archived)
I used to like the name Blake for a boy until Amy Winehouse messed everything up.(
rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:54,
archived)
Nooo don't talk about babies*wants one*
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:54,
archived)
I knowI still want one :(
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:58,
archived)
I'm sure if you hang yourself upside down it might happen faster(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:07,
archived)
Should I learn how to walk on my hands?(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:19,
archived)
No, just hang there until you get a proper rogering.(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:23,
archived)
hmm...seems around here that everyone is getting marriedI've no idea, I like too many names. Something different that isn't heard frequently here, Iliana or Nicolai...
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:57,
archived)
GGGGGGRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:00,
archived)
I don't know anything about thatbut that stand-up show on R4 that just finished was ok
"I went up to a man in the street and said punch me in the face.
He did and next thing I'm lying there on my back thinking, i asked for that"
(
Three Dog Man, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:03,
archived)
I only caught some of it when I was in the carI liked the dude talking about airplanes.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:06,
archived)
R4?Speaking of telly, there is a man on the One Show at the moment with a ridiculous face. Even moreso than Adrian whatsisface.
*edit* oooh radio 4, I thought you meant a telly channel
(
broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:07,
archived)
ShitlegsRover
ChangeYourOwnFuckingNappy
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:03,
archived)
That might backfire when you're old and shitty-nappied(
Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:09,
archived)
Patrick and Helena.I like Milo too but it's a dog's name, really.
(
ArthurTheRat, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:07,
archived)
It was the name of the dog in The Mask I think.
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:17,
archived)
Do dogs have a class system?(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:18,
archived)
You'd keep losing him.Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:18,
archived)
Ruby and Noah.Both used in the last year by Charlotte Church and Chris Evans.
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:09,
archived)
Mix it up a bit.Rooarrghh! and Noobie.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:10,
archived)
Noah was always my choice for a boy as wellBut one of my work colleagues has a son named Noah and now it seems weird.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:13,
archived)
Seth or Jonah for a boyMiriam for a girl
/big Jew-fest
(
its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:09,
archived)
Pah. That's jew-lite.You want to go for Mordechai, Ezekiel and Bathsheba.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:13,
archived)
Mordechai is a fantastic name(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:18,
archived)
If that's Jew Lite,what are the likes of David and Matthew? Ultra-light?
How about Hezekiah?
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:18,
archived)
No no no. Best Jew name is Ham.(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 19:20,
archived)
The best jewey name is clearly Shaznee or Keegan(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:16,
archived)
wasn't Roddy McDowell's character in Planet of the Apes called Cornelius?I believe he was.
This makes you a bad parent even before you've had children. You should be forcibly sterilised for even thinking that.
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:25,
archived)
[ also the name of a character in series Robert Rankin novels heh. ](, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:30, archived)
There's an off-license in Edinburgh called Cornelius.It has one of the best logos ever. It looks like both a wine glass and a monkey. See if you can imagine that.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:52,
archived)
Muvva Faakin' Rack-of-Ribs with Chips, a fresh install of windows and hollyoaks on the telly.This is a good day to be Gonz.
Why is it a good day to be [your name] ?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:38,
archived)
Because the off topic board just got nested repliesand became interesting.
Also I have the house to myself tonight.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:39, archived)
It's always had it, with may magical greasemonkey script !I might start posting on there now, that was the only thing that pissed me off about that place.
Plus there are a whole bunch of girls on there who think I'm cool, who I need to convince otherwise.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:41,
archived)
Go and meet themit'll convince them much quicker. We all though Supermatt was cool, and then we met him.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:43, archived)
Bank holiday tomorrowCinema tonight.
Maybe pub at some point
20 minutes of work left
It's alright being me.
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:39,
archived)
I'm not sure.We bought a car yesterday, and we pick it up on Saturday. Other than that...meh. I still have a spacky chest, and although I was better this morning, I am feeling worse now.
*wheezes all over the place*
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:40,
archived)
I'd like to be interestedbut it's probably something Japanese
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:41,
archived)
occasionally something from the 60s will show up as an amusing pastiche of Western stylesbut aside from that, no.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:45,
archived)
I quite like the Figaro that Nissan put out some years ago.Thought that was at least interesting. Other than that, I see what you mean.
(
Lord Gnome, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:46,
archived)
I have promised myself one of those if I ever have the money.It is a girl car through and through.
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:48,
archived)
It's a pretty good city car.As far as girl cars go, it's not as much of one as a Toyota MR2.
(
Lord Gnome, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:49,
archived)
BMW.I know. Sorry about that. It's just a good car, good condition, right price and reliable.
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:44,
archived)
Dont complain at allI'm looking for a Bavarian Money-Waster myself.
(it had better not be an E36 though)
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:45,
archived)
Nah, 323i.it's 12 years old as well, so not a massively indulgent treat. It knocks ten tons of shite out of the Mazda 121 though.
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:47,
archived)
*sighs* that's an E36oh well, someone had to buy them.
And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure you've got paperwork proving the Nikasil problem was remedied, otherwise you'll be forking out for a new engine soonish.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:50,
archived)
Proof positive that I have tits and a vagina ;)He's had a lot of work done to it - he loves his car.
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:53,
archived)
I was okay this morningbut then I breathed in loads of concrete dust and spent all afternoon coughing.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:41, archived)
Yuck :(I take steroids in the morning, and am ok - but in the afternoon I am shit, due to pollen and the fact that the meds seem to have worn off.
I'm sure it will improve soon.
(
Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:45,
archived)
Urgh that sounds horridat least mine was entirely my own stupid fault for not wearing a dust mask.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:47, archived)
Because everyone else is as crushingly dire as they always are(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:41,
archived)
Because I lined up several job interviews for next weekand I'm restarting college tomorrow.
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:42,
archived)
is it something pointlessly creative or introspective?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:43,
archived)
Veterinary nursingso not terribly, no.
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:44,
archived)
You're great, you are.Crushing people's hopes and dreams, one at a time.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:45,
archived)
hopes and dreams don't contribute to taxable incomeso I don't give a fuck about them.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:46,
archived)
Scientists will study your Sarcastic GlandAnd pronounce you a medical marvel, in a far-off future time.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:49,
archived)
BBC will do a documentary of how much further humanity could have developedif I'd decided to have bred.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:52,
archived)
Cheers. If they ask nicely I'll drain their pets anal glands too.(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:47,
archived)
Humans don't have themso they'll end up on endless NHS waiting lists instead.
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:51,
archived)
because I'm not youyou simpering failure
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:42,
archived)
It's notbut Monday or Tuesday will be Motorbike Delivery O Clock so I will be jumping up and down in excitement until then.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:44,
archived)
homemade popcorn, Good food, magazines and the latest episode of Bones.Stewie griffin was in it peculiarly.
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:48,
archived)
Cos postal2 has been put up for sale on gog.combought it and downloading it now as its sick and fun.
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:48,
archived)
Because it's been fucking hot todayso I took the day off to lie in the sun & read a book. Might spend the evening drinking cold bottled beer.
(
broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:50,
archived)
well, I'll get to have beer later...that's probably the highlight of my weekoh and I have a new book to read
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:50,
archived)
I'm cloning myself.Any tips?
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:39,
archived)
I've also written a new poem:The lunar probe
Probed the moon,
If you ask me,
Not a day too soon.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:39,
archived)
Don't make the head look like a fart covered in clingfilm.And leave out the soggy tea bag skin colour.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:40,
archived)
Yes, there should be tipson the clone's fingers, and on his cock
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:40, archived)
Make yourself into me instead.(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 17:40,
archived)
+grow some tits and loosen morals.(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 17:53,
archived)
It's not enough to loosen them, you've pretty much got to take the entire wall, or at least the plasterTricky job.
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:57,
archived)
Wouldn't lead to cloningMost of your genes will probably be different.
(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:42,
archived)
Still the same problembecause they're different sperm and egg
(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:46,
archived)
Sexual reproduction advice from the person with virgin in his sig...BURN
(
executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:48,
archived)
DOUBLE VIRGIN :Dlol I'm laughing because something I said has made a funneh
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:00,
archived)
Still wouldn't have the same genestwins of different sexes come from different eggs.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:47, archived)
He could transfer the nucleus from his cells into an empty egg and destroy the Y chromosome with a big laserthen have someone carry the child, allow it to mature and then have his own baldmonkeydren with his female self
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:58,
archived)
Where will we store this egg in the mean time?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:02,
archived)
on a bag of peas in the freezer in a bit of clingfilm(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:03,
archived)
Oh Glu'ey, EGGY CUP SETUP FAIL !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:10,
archived)
it's all too complicated for me :(how would you mash it after being in the freezer?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:11,
archived)
Are you supposed to mash it? With what?I wish someone would explain it to me a bit better.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:15,
archived)
If anyone wants to donate eggs for baldmonkey's project, I have an icecream scoop prepared(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:10,
archived)
I listened to your latest podcastMy question was meant more as a means to allow you to self promote, I wasn't criticising the quality of your podcasts. I'm sorry Baldmonkey.
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:41,
archived)
If I was offended I wouldn't have read it out.It gave us something to talk about.
Thank you.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:42,
archived)
Just making sure. I never wanted to offendI liked the podcast though. I've got the other 10 downloaded too now.
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:43,
archived)
Thats why the police keep our DNA on record.SO THEY CAN CLONE US TO PRACTICE THEIR ARRESTING AND ADVANCED 'THE SUSPECT FELL DOWN THE STAIRS' TECHNIQUES.
/tinfoil hat
(
FoldsFive, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:41,
archived)
Make your dick visible this time.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:41,
archived)
Man, I would love an invisible dick.I don't think I would ever put it away if I did.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:00,
archived)
Just do a Mykey and get so chubby that your belly pouch hides it all the time.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:06,
archived)
You know how belly buttons tend to go to 'inny's if you're fat.Well, some theory for cocks, apparently.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:09,
archived)
good place to keep change(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:14,
archived)
Aww MAN, the colours on my skittles ran =((
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:17,
archived)
Watch out for Hand Bananas(
Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:42,
archived)
make hundreds of versions of yourself in minaturethen use them as your slaves.
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:50,
archived)
Filter out all the crap bits.(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:17,
archived)
I just counted up all the change we had in the piggy bank and tin.£67. Woo.
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:21,
archived)
you just don't want to share baldmoonkey(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:25,
archived)
kill each other(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:41,
archived)
Who the fuck does Joanna Lumley think she is?Brown should have faceraped her.
(
the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:29,
archived)
I'm not entirely sure what's been going on thereDoes anyone want to give me an unbiased history of the situation?
(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:30,
archived)
George Bush hates black people(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:30,
archived)
George People hates Black Bush(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:33,
archived)
Black Bush is a lovely blended irish whiskeythe man clearly has no taste
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:37, archived)
People hate George's black bush.(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:35,
archived)
I think I'm up to speed on thisAs every day passes, I feel more certain that I am going to vote Liberal in the next election.
Problem is, I imagine that for every person who splits from the Labour vote for Lib Dem, there will be another who changes to Tory, which will increase their votes, leading to them winning the next election.
DO NOT WANT
(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:36,
archived)
Voting liberal is like shitting on a trampsounds like it's a bold statement, but once you've done it, who will actually notice ?
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:38,
archived)
We all need to vote BNPThey'll defend us true English people. By English I do mean Scottish, Welsh and Irish too.
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:38,
archived)
But I can't be doing with Labour any moreIf I'm found INNOCENT of a violet crime my DNA stays on the database for 12 years.
If I'm found INNOCENT of a minor crime my DNA stays on the database for 6 years.
The problem I have with this is that there is no difference between my innocence of either crime! I'm being punished and the sentence for that is decided by something that someone else has done.
(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:40,
archived)
Like you've never had your DNA all over 12 and 6 year (olds).(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:59,
archived)
.....ZING !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:02,
archived)
They're all as shit as each other. I'll vote for the one that sorts me out the best.Monster Raving Here I Come.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:38,
archived)
I agree with herGurkhas are cool. I want a house Gurkha.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:30,
archived)
i like them drunk/loves pickled gherkins
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:31,
archived)
I hate it when they put them in burgers.(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:31,
archived)
Who the fuck do you think you are?I'm betting Lumley thinks she's something to do with the gurkhas consider her father was a major in the gurkhas and she was born in india. Cock breath.
(
CowJam, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:31,
archived)
I think I'm ReptoslicerPart robot part dinosaur.
(
the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:33,
archived)
YEAH FUCK THAT BITCHFUCK HER YEAH FUCK HER YEAH YEAH FUCK HER
What are we talking about?
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:32,
archived)
I'd still fuck her.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 17:32,
archived)
Ewww dudeI bet she has a sagging down arse and her tits are like flaps of flesh with the nipples pointing downwards. Like wombles noses.
And I reckon her fanny is more squamous than a shaved pugs face pickled in vinegar for 100 years.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:34,
archived)
Who cares?I'd take her and Felicity Kendal in my fantasy BBC threesome.
(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:37,
archived)
LOL the Internet, distilled.(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:33,
archived)
Do you not like gurkhas then?(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:34,
archived)
They're the first thing to be picked out of a Big Mac.(
FoldsFive, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:37,
archived)
I quite like them in, personally.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:38,
archived)
Is it true to like a massive wally between your baps?!?1/one!?!?(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:44,
archived)
Calm.Now then- what?
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:49,
archived)
I love JoLum.I'm superstressed and not even a chocolate digestive is calming me down. :(
(
LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 17:38,
archived)
Don't be wally...*wonders if anyone will get this joke...*
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:39,
archived)
*Sympathy Laugh*(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 18:17,
archived)
If you were in New York what would you do today?(
hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:16,
archived)
Spend all day/ night at CBGB's drinking jack n cokes.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:16,
archived)
CBGB's is closedthis makes me do a sad.
(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:18,
archived)
I bet you've never been(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:19,
archived)
It wasn't as good as Woodstockor the first ever Shoom
or Wigan Casino
or the sermon on the mount - that was a fucking great gig.
(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:32,
archived)
I saw the Vibe Riders there at new years 2004/2005I didn't do a poop.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:24,
archived)
I saw some lairy punk band there in 1999then fucked off to see Funkmaster Flex instead. Fo shizzle.
(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:26,
archived)
It was weird. I went to BB King's Blues Bar in LA too a few years earlier and the same band was playing :S(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:27,
archived)
That sounds funMay I join you there?
(
crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:20,
archived)
You may. I will climb on your back lots and and visa versa like a squiggly backpack.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:25,
archived)
Run away from buildings all panic stickenand shout `a planes hit the building`
and see how many rush away with me.
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:17,
archived)
You got a passport now?YOU'RE STUCK THERE!!!
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:18,
archived)
Probably be 300% more English than normaland get frustrated every half an hour.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:19,
archived)
You'd make a point of not drinking coffee and taking tea,and asking for your toast done on one side.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:20,
archived)
Plus fours, MGT, plus fours.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:21,
archived)
I'd sellotape a black cab to one of their yellow onesand call it the bumblecab
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:19, archived)
Well it's lunch time over there at the moment,so I'd probably be having lunch. Maybe a bagel or a chilli dog or something that sounds Jewish.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:19,
archived)
Go to F.A.O. Schwartz.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:19,
archived)
I would not have a really shitty day at workculminating in me scraping a car that was parked illegally with my car. Fucking cunting KA. I very nearly reversed and rammed the fucker.
(
CowJam, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:21,
archived)
Kas are fucking shit cars.They look like a dog squatting for a shit.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:21,
archived)
I'm probably try out some of their restaurantsMaybe sit in a park or something.
Then I'd find a bar and talk to some of the locals about life in New York, ask them what's best to see and avoid the guidebooks.
(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:21,
archived)
This is a sensible answer I suppose.Restaurants in New York have really interesting bathrooms.
(
hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:23,
archived)
I'd wander round the street, dressing in a yellow cone, singingHa ha this-a-way, ha ha that-a-way, ha ha this-a-way, my oh my.
Ha ha this-a-way, ha ha that-a-way, ha ha this-a-way, my oh my.
Ostagazuzulum, that was the magic word. Ostagazuzulum, my oh my.
He can do magic, magic, magic! Magic a rabbit, eight feet high.
Ha ha this-a-way, ha ha that-a-way, ha ha this-a-way, my oh my.
Ha ha this-a-way, ha ha that-a-way, ha ha this-a-way, my oh my.
(
CowJam, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:22,
archived)
Put on my best Hugh Grant voice and wait for the yank poon to start flocking.(
RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:25,
archived)
+ me off down a dark alley only to be arrested thus making it one of those evenings where I should have just stayed home and wanked
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:30,
archived)
I'd make best friends with a horse, then put the horse in a dress and re-enact Sex & The City(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:26,
archived)
stamp on a tramp as it slept,then go take in a show
(
lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:26,
archived)
BADGERS!we dont need no stinking badgers!
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:16,
archived)
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:02,
archived)
Shit. I'm supposed to pick up *ff**** *irl in twenty minutes.Goodbye fatties!
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 16:58,
archived)
There are actually some nice bits of haringey i'll have you know.(
rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:06,
archived)
Muswell Hill is in Haringey and that is nice.(
rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:08,
archived)
I'm sure it isBut the parts I've seen haven't been particularly lovely.
(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:16,
archived)
ohh...homebrew.
and dyeing my hair.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:58,
archived)
possibly not in that order.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:10,
archived)
Bath, dinner, inbetweeners, bed.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:59,
archived)
Watching films and telly shows and playing wii, I would imagine.Probably going for a nice long walk also.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:01,
archived)
Well done. Walking is good.I might do some Wii fit. Might.
(
Jobe, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:02,
archived)
I haven't done it in aaaages.It makes me feel guilty thinking about. It'll probably call me fat when I go on next.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:03,
archived)
It called me fat, then my little Mii thing waddled onto the screen:(
(
Jobe, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:03,
archived)
I know, it's horrible:((
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:05,
archived)
I wish I got home early enoughto have walks after work : (
*envies*
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:02,
archived)
I prefer walking in the dark.It's more fun.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:03,
archived)
Seewhen you say "walk" I imagine a sunset ramble through fields and pastures rich with the promise of glimpses of wild fauna.
But now you've said you do it in the dark, I can only assume you wander some streetlit hell, dodging dogturds as you go.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:06,
archived)
I do now:(At home, it was cool moonlight forest and field walks. There is no countryside within walking distance from here. I might look up somewhere to walk tomorrow.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:19,
archived)
WHAT THE FUCK HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH YOUI PROMISE I WONT LAY A SINGLE FINGER (OR COCK) ON A SINGLE OTTER.
OK ?
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:01,
archived)
Didn't say owt about tonguing them though, eh?*big tens*
(
RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:02,
archived)
Or rendering their tiny, semi-aquatic sphincters asunderwith a 10" dildo.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:03,
archived)
Well, dear worrier of goats, it's got nothing to do with me really.I was just making conversation because a)I'm bored and waiting to go home, and 2)It was time for a new thread I thought.
(
Jobe, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:03,
archived)
You were rightit was time for a new thread.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:03,
archived)
Making and eating a pizza.(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:02,
archived)
believe it or not, I'm cooking.now the rage has subsided, I feel safe to use knives again.
(
Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 7 May 2009, 17:02,
archived)
I best not go too near any sharp objects for at least another 24 hours.(unbelievable)
(
Jobe, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:04,
archived)
problems, Jobey?(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:07,
archived)
it's boy talk luv. you wouldn't unnerstand.make us a cuppa, there's a good girl.
:P
(
Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 7 May 2009, 17:11,
archived)
quiet, you, or it's back under the stairs for another week(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:13,
archived)
but it's dark and the rats are mean to me. :((
Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 7 May 2009, 18:00,
archived)
Convincing Arsenal to sell Walcott so I can pair him with Agbonlahorand John Carew, of course
(
Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:03,
archived)
Watching the last episode of the inbetweenersand roasting a chicken.
OOH and I bought some asparagus! Yum.
(
rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:04,
archived)
I like asparagus.It makes your wee smell, but you can only smell it if you have some specific chromosome in your body. That's a fact. You are welcome.
(
Jobe, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:05,
archived)
It makes my wee smell.But it's well worth it.
(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:06,
archived)
Thank you jobe.It definitely makes me wee smelly. But I don't mind as it is tasty.
(
rosie posie tingly bongly, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:07,
archived)
I'm going for dinner with my ma and a friendand then we're going to see Blood Brothers.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:06,
archived)
not neccessarily in that order.(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:07,
archived)
salads and maybe beers.but maybe not beers. i dunno if i'm not in the mood.
(
TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:08,
archived)
Chillaxinglooking forward to doing fuck all over the weekend :)
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:09,
archived)
It's the Credit Crunch!The guy in the homebrew shop said he's never seen so much business...
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:18,
archived)
Lamenting the loss of Duke Nukem ForeverNo longer will we be waiting just a few more quarters, maybe a year for the best FPS ever!
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8037688.stm
(
CowJam, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:17,
archived)
'What if a customer comes in and my jerking off gets him all sex nuts and retard strong, and suddenly I'm fighting him off as he tries to jam my dick in his mouth! 'What is your favourite movie quote?
edit: sorry, phrase, i meant phrase. Although i suppose its all the same thing
(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:10,
archived)
QOTW may have just tumped you all.There's claims I have a vagina.
If only Mykey could see this.
:(
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 16:57,
archived)
"Get your ass to Mars"(
Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:13,
archived)
the cricket is on mykey.onions got a few.
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:13,
archived)
some good changes in the team, jammy.another one for onions too! this is lovely.
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:17,
archived)
Two quotes, same filmAnother glorious day in the Corps. A day in the Marine Corps is like
a day on the farm; every meal a banquet, every paycheque a fortune,
every formation a parade. I love the Corps!
and
Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:14,
archived)
Not a month goes by that i dont rewatch that movie:)I like the lip cancer line also.
(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:16,
archived)
Ah, would you, sir?(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:24,
archived)
See, what Aliens needed was 30% more Apone.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:27,
archived)
Thankfully loads of FPSs have their very own Apone. Halo especially.The idea must have stuck.
(
FoldsFive, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:29,
archived)
I've never ever ever played Halo.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:32,
archived)
I think the only FPS I ever played was Aliens on the Playstation 1.Unless GTA whatever it was counts, but I never shot anybody on it.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:36,
archived)
nah, it has to be in first-person viewpoint to countthat's what the 'FP' bit stands for after all
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:39,
archived)
It can be in FP,if you press the right button. Or when you go for a drive.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:40,
archived)
i s'pose. never play gta in first person. i don't like it(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:40,
archived)
I only really played it for the driving round.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:44,
archived)
I will doif I go to the house of someone who has it.
What is it, by the way?
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:47,
archived)
a game where you have a great big open spaceto drive around in. you can have races and do jumps and that. s'fun!
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:48,
archived)
oh I've seen games like that.I'd rather drive round streets to be honest.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:56,
archived)
burnout is in a city too, but there's also non city bitsit's got everything!
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:59,
archived)
I think it's the going around aimlessly that appeals to me.I just looked this up, and it's got rules.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:03,
archived)
I wonder how far you can get in GTA without hurting anyone.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:48,
archived)
It's surprisingly difficult not to do anything illegal in it.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:59,
archived)
hey, vasquez, you ever been mistaken for a man?no; have you?
(
theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:24,
archived)
OY AVEE AHOY waaHOOAAAAOOO!From the film where Rob Schneider does some cartwheels
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:14,
archived)
i don't have onesomething which i wasn't consciously aware of before you asked, so it hasn't been a completely pointless exercise for me
(
well, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:14,
archived)
qotw?"You're gonna need a bigger boat"
(
The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:15,
archived)
"Where do the stairs go?""They go up"
(
executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:16,
archived)
If anyone asks you if you're a god,you say "YES".
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:19,
archived)
"Yes he is correct.... this man has no dick"(
executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:19,
archived)
Wishful thinking?(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:17,
archived)
"Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?"(
theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:18,
archived)
What's this from?I'm sure I heard this the other day.
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:20,
archived)
Ghostbusters.(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:22,
archived)
BLARRRRRGGGHH I am a KRAKEN from the seeeeeaaaaaa(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:19,
archived)
"Willouhbeeeeee""The source of the Nile is in Abysinia"
oh ho ho
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:28,
archived)
I DON'T CARE YOU CUNT.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 16:19,
archived)
"If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary. Every last motherfucker in here. "(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:21,
archived)
And"Two things never happened again after that. The Sisters never laid a finger on Andy again... and Boggs never walked again. They transferred him to a minimum security hospital upstate. To my knowledge, he lived out the rest of his days drinking his food through a straw."
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:23,
archived)
_.-'~~~~~~`-._
/ || \
/ || \
| || |
| _______||_______ |
|/ ----- \/ ----- \|
/ ( ) ( ) \
/ \ ----- () ----- / \
/ \ /||\ / \ _____ I don't care if it's Muhammad "I'm Hard" Bruce Lee.
/ \ /||||\ / \ You can't change fighters.
/ \ /||||||\ / \
/_ \o========o/ _\
`--...__|`-._ _.-'|__...--'
| `' |
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:23,
archived)
Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:23,
archived)
where did you get those clothes fromthe toilet store?
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:26,
archived)
'I stabbed a man with a trident''Yeah! Brick killed a guy!'
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:27,
archived)
"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you."(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:30,
archived)
Slow down, Baxter!You know I don't speak Spanish!
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:32,
archived)
"I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker. "(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:35,
archived)
"Brick, are you having your celebrity golf tournament this year?""No, too many people died last time."
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:36,
archived)
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish.
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:23,
archived)
Shut the fuck up Pauly, you're out of your element.(
RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:34,
archived)
yeah well, that's just, like, your opinion, man(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:40,
archived)
It's a fucking show-dogit has fucking papers
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:41,
archived)
this is all part of your sick cynthia thing, manlooking after her fucking dog
going to her fucking synagogue
you're living in the past!
/from memory so probably wrong
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:46,
archived)
You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain(
RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:51,
archived)
Let me tell you something, pendejo.You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:54,
archived)
do you see what happens, larry?!do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?!
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:00,
archived)
this is a great game, but i have to go home nowbye RR. bye everyone else.
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:01,
archived)
"I don't fucking believe this! Can everyone stop gettin' shot?""I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids."
"Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham."
(
FoldsFive, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:24,
archived)
www.b3ta.com/talk/6132061
No offence Harry, but yeh're a cunt.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:25,
archived)
"You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids."(
FoldsFive, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:28,
archived)
Ah, I'll have to watch that now.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:34,
archived)
It's words like this that make me question your relationship sometimes(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:39,
archived)
GGRRGARAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHGGHGHGGHGGGHG - resident evil 2(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:28,
archived)
I've got a new mantra: ommmmmmmm Paul is a big fat cunt(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:29,
archived)
*copy'n'pasted*Don: Shut up, cunt. You louse. You got some fuckin' neck ain't you. Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a fucking suitcase out of you. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk?
[He gut-punches Gal]
Don: What you think this is the wheel of fortune? You think you can make your dough and fuck off? Leave the table? Thanks Don, see you Don, off to sunny Spain now Don, fuck off Don. Lying in your pool like a fat blob laughing at me, you think I'm gonna have that? You really think I'm gonna have that, ya ponce. All right, I'll make it easy for you. God knows you're fucking trying. Are you gonna do the job? It's not a difficult question, are you gonna do the job, yes or no?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:29,
archived)
Nice eyes.They yours?
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:31,
archived)
Yeah', I'll put out my ciggerette, yeah', if you don't mind me putting it out on your eye ball.No problem, just say the word, and I'll put it out. Do you still want me to put it out? Thought so.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:32,
archived)
You honky assed jam rag spunk bubble, i'm tellin' you H, you keep looking at me and I'll put you in the fuckin' ground.
YEAH YOU DO THAT YOU SCHEMEING BITCH.
Not this time gal, not this time, NO ! no no no no no no.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:34,
archived)
Yeah, that's what I said. There's me putting my bag up in the cupboard next thing ya know, I feel hands on me. Someone's touched me, touched my front... my front bottom. I can't believe it, I've gone all cold. I look around, he standing there isn't he? That steward with the guilty look on his face. I was shocked, I didn't know what to say. I had to sit down, I was that perturbed. Then his mate, the other one who was giving us all lessons on what we do if we land in the sea. How to wear your life jacket etc; He starts off, he starts looking at my all funny... suggestive. Now I don't know if they're wanting me for a twosome or something, I don't know how they work it. But I'll tell you what, it scared me. I was shaking like a leaf, so without thinking I lit up a cigarette to calm me nerves. I was trembling, I was very emotional and that when all the rest of it happened. It's very regrettable. Now, I don't want to kick up a fuss, right, press charges... contact the British embassy. I'd rather not pursue those chanells, that's not my style. I'm not that sort of a bloke. I don't want the man to lose his job and I'm sure he's not representive of all you Spanish people. But I would appreciate it if you had a word with him, let him know he's been rumbled.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:31,
archived)
You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village.(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:32,
archived)
:D that is a good one.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:36,
archived)
Ha ha.I was going to put this.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:33,
archived)
Look at him!
Look at Geoff Wode!
His head must weight 50lbs on it's own.
Imagine the size of his balls!
Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker!
(
WormuIus, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:55,
archived)
I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you!
(
Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:38,
archived)
I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brainThis is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
LOLJMG
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:43,
archived)
OIL MORDAH DE PAYRE O YIZ !(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:40,
archived)
"Not even the dog that piss against the wall of Babylon shall escape this judgement"(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:41,
archived)
'You really are a boring fuck, sorry I forget you don't like swearing; you're a boring F star star cunt.'(
spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:43,
archived)
Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck.(
Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 7 May 2009, 16:44,
archived)
Why do they call him Boris the bullet dodger?(
Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:49,
archived)
Now listen here, you mullet. Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:45,
archived)
I fuck arses.Who fucks arses?
Maybe HE fucks arses!
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:49,
archived)
right you fuckeri'm doing the washing up
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:52,
archived)
"Keith.....you know you told me to chew my mushroom 72 times, well....."(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:52,
archived)
That's even worse than not having a telly!(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:58,
archived)
I don't have one of those eitherThere's a tv shaped hole in the corner of my room
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:00,
archived)
That's called a "window".(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:03,
archived)
LIGHT THE LAMP NOT THE RAT !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:55,
archived)
I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure(
M o D, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:57,
archived)
"What would you do if you had a million dollars?""I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man."
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:58,
archived)
A man more eviler... than Skeletor!(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:59,
archived)
and"If you is watching this in the UK, you may remember me from the telly. If you is in Belgium... you is living in a shit hole."
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 17:00,
archived)
We didn't even discuss my overnight plan for..Better Internet.
QOTW have taken it well.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:56,
archived)
you think everyone should have the same username?it'd cut down on the drama i guess
(
well, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:58,
archived)
Don't get me wrong. I don't dislike QOTW nor it's slower users any less than the next man.But I'd like to see them all realigned with life and placed back over here at least.
Possibly before going back to the glory days of one singular board.
I'm very good at handling people lesser that myself as I've proven over the past 6 years. I'm just wanting to give these people a better chance at life.
On the internet.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 16:04,
archived)
most of them were never over here to begin with thoughit's all spineless lurkers and unfunny cretins from what i can tell
(
well, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:08,
archived)
So we should make them BETTER.Come on internet!
It's your duty to help out those less fortunate than yourselves.
Just like how we ship AID to third world countries.
Now, this CLEARLY isn't about food looking at some of the internet users. Imagine we're sending parcels of intellectual and mental stimulus as aid.
I'm just like Bob Geldof.
Somebody in a tight t-shirt will probably have a great line, now.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 16:09,
archived)
Yes.I'm with the Jamster on this.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:11,
archived)
SecondedI don't know if I'm a part of the problem, but that place needs a good kick up its high-and-mighty arse
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:12, archived)
Neither am II'm neither hither nor tither, but I thought I'd contribute anyway
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:14, archived)
But there's at least 5 other JMG alias'do we really need more?
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:02,
archived)
If everyone changed their username to a JMG variantthen talk would be awash with JMG's. Would anyone really want that?
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:05,
archived)
what point are you trying to make?i don't see what significance the individual usernames have
(
well, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:07,
archived)
Then why don't you have a variant on JMG already?(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:09,
archived)
because you completely missed my original pointi said the same username not a variant on one
(
well, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:10,
archived)
Just where did you make a pointmerely confusion at what I was saying. Are you sure you don't belong on QOTW?
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:14,
archived)
oh, so you replied to my post up there with an unrelated comment?my mistake
(
well, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:15,
archived)
I was merely clarifying my statement since you were confused.(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:18,
archived)
Calm down childrenif there's going to be arguing on the internet then at least make me part of it
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:18, archived)
We've already had "Name yourself with the JMG prefix" week.Twice, as it happens.
It made people who enjoy Linux VERY upset.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 16:11,
archived)
I heard JMG fucked JMG while she was going out with JMG and then JMG punched JMG in the face and broke JMG's nose.(
mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:58,
archived)
You think we should all log in as you?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:58,
archived)
TWO REPLIES IN, ONE ANSWER GIVEN.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:59,
archived)
worst Mad Max 3 misquote ever(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:01,
archived)
Surely the QOTWers would be assimilated into /talk.Is that what you want?
(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:59,
archived)
Well then I see no problems with this.(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:03,
archived)
Is it ok to punch someone smaller and weaker than me,if they're really really shit?
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 16:00,
archived)
practically everyone falls into that category for me*punches you all*
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:10,
archived)
My face smells LOVELY.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:01,
archived)
Shame it looks like that then :((
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 16:02,
archived)
I bet it smells like wet dog and onions(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:08,
archived)
Hello Bouncers. JMG's on.Report in with today's internet events.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:34,
archived)
B3ta broke for a bitThere was the sound of a million lard-soaked tears hitting the floor and some meaty fists pounding keyboards in frustration.
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:35,
archived)
Oh I love when it comes back on and everyone starts new threads.It's always like the Olympic 100m final.
EVERYBODY has to start a "WHAT HAPPENED?!" thread.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:36,
archived)
Needs more coalFire up the starboard boiler Mr Crocker!
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:40,
archived)
I suggest making miserable users run on treadmills to power it.Circle of internet justice.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:42,
archived)
But if the users are in the treadmills, who is going to get upset, online?(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:47,
archived)
I'm bound to find somebody.I'm very good at that.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:49,
archived)
I'M GOING AS FAST AS EEE CAN CAP'IN! SHE CANNE TAKE ANNYMORRE'd d d d d!(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:41,
archived)
She wasn't aware anything was going on...(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:43,
archived)
And that's why I stand behind girls on the tube*licks finger and touches hip to make sizzle sound*
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:51,
archived)
Oh right, is this true?I did wonder why I had difficulties trying to connect. I was farting about with the firewall for a bit because I thought somebody had added a load of new rules.
(
turb0t, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:44,
archived)
Nothing has happened today.Here's some music.
*plays music*
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:35,
archived)
I don't know JammyI've made part of a website work, that's good I suppose, but I've got nothing to fill it with so it can't go live.
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:36,
archived)
Why don't you fill it in with some of your rock climbing photos and tales of your victories or battle in Eastern Europe?(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:37,
archived)
I've done that but it's not a sexy man and climbing website.(
GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:39,
archived)
I'm going to put a face mask on now.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:36,
archived)
OH IRELAND!It's no good for you.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:38,
archived)
No, but I will fight bad skin with it.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:40,
archived)
?www.the-spine.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/scarlett.jpg
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:39,
archived)
I love gunshow but hasn't been updated for a few weeks :((
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:53,
archived)
In the last ten minutes, with the aid of my kitchen white board,I have successfully solved the last mathematical problem with my dissertation.
I'm on the home straight JMG, I can feel the end.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:37,
archived)
*Firm handshakes*I'm delighted at your progress.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:38,
archived)
I also just really upset Sunderland,so, always a bonus.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:50,
archived)
I said something nice about SSG(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:38,
archived)
SSG, eh?Lovely chap. Well grounded.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:39,
archived)
and i have a "very beautiful" girlfriend.(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:42,
archived)
"with his hands he could probably hold up to 12 grapes..."(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:41,
archived)
i once held twelve golf balls in one hand!(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:43,
archived)
only because you want some.lol.
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:44,
archived)
oh GOD it's going to be awkward between us now.(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:44,
archived)
I wouldn't put my willy anywhere yours has been(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:46,
archived)
so three inches inside her should be safe then LOLOLOlololl ahhahahhaaaa(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:48,
archived)
ignore me gobbo, I am a dreadful human being and I'm being deliberately cruel and hurtful now(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:56,
archived)
no, don't sulkif you sulk I'll just have to insult you more
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:04,
archived)
In OFFLINE newsI got presents from people in my office due to my impending 'nearer to death' day.
More at 11.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:40,
archived)
Pffft.Old.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:41,
archived)
Yeah wellLOSER
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:43,
archived)
No, that's you,Oldie.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:52,
archived)
WE'RE ALL GETTING ON, WITH OUR DAYS.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:41,
archived)
I'm listening to Spotify and having a laugh with the bairn.(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:41,
archived)
I'm gonna be honest Jammy, I'm not having the best of days.I think I might go for a walk around ASDA, that always cheers me up.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:42,
archived)
Have a hug*hugs*
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:45,
archived)
The queen watches two people have sex in a pool.www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01398/queen-pool_1398132i.jpg
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:45,
archived)
What kind of sex are you having if you think that's what it looks like?(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:47,
archived)
It looks like he's taking her from behind.I would love to go for a swim with the queen. I bet she would play that game where she opens her legs and I swim through them.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:48,
archived)
"While you're down there, love."www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01398/india-beard_1398146i.jpg
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:49,
archived)
You scare me*takes back hug*
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:53,
archived)
Don't make me smear a swastica shit on your head.www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01393/head-daubing_1393438i.jpg
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:56,
archived)
I tried to bait Gilgamesh into saying horrible things to mebut he couldn't be bothered
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 16:01, archived)
I've spent my day watching two men cut open a girls back and screw two rods onto her spine.What horribly graphic things have you seen lately?
(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:28,
archived)
You should have known better.If it has Simon Cowell and/or Piers Morgan it's likely to be physically sickening.
(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:31,
archived)
Amanda Holden would get it like a jack hammer though.(
Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:31,
archived)
She looks like a sentient blow up doll to me.Of course, some may consider that a good thing.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:33,
archived)
and her expression would remain the same throughout(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:33,
archived)
you want to fuck a jack hammer?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:33,
archived)
She has almost achieveda fully immobile face.
(
wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:34,
archived)
You want to smack her face repeatedly on the pavement?(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:37,
archived)
My daughter loves itthe pain of seeing their vile faces is worthwhile when you hear your little girl giggling her arse off over some guy impersonating a saxophone
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:34, archived)
Wow, they're really diversifying on Youporn eh?(
Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:30,
archived)
I ran out of tissues half way through(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:32,
archived)
My parents were visiting the other dayand my mum was saying, "Can you believe it? Did you know there is actually a website called 'YouPorn'? You know, like a YouTube but for porn?"
I had to pretend to be utterly shocked by this revelation.
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:34,
archived)
Yes yesmy mum's tits covered in spunk on youporn lolz
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:34,
archived)
I looked in the mirror this morning.(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:30,
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I hope you've learnt your lesson.(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:32,
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I played prey last nightThe graphics were horribly dated for something that was only released in 2006.
Maybe I'm expecting too much?
(
SuperMatt, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:30,
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The game is still win though(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:31,
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were you expecting a boringly standard shooter with some incidental portal related gimmicks?(
well, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:34,
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It had some excellent set piecesbut you had to be looking in the right direction and they were few and far between.
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GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:35,
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yeah, i think my one second review up there is a bit harshbut considering what was promised, the actual game was a bit of a let down
(
well, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:36,
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I agree...the portal concept was fantastic, but was nothing more than a quirk used successfully only once or twice. It was mostly just a way for the enemy to spawn annoyingly.
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:38,
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Video Cards Awards Ceremony 2009(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:30,
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Splatted badger this morning.It doesn't sound bad, but it was EVERYWHERE.
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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:30,
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:D Bodger, car and passport missing.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:32,
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A bloke at work was telling me a story yesterday.Apparently he was waiting for a bus and a cat ran into the road in front of him, got hit and exploded all over him.
Lovely.
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my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:34,
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I cut a girl's back open and unscrewed a couple of rods(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:31,
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Vomit spewing forth from my faceon Saturday morning. It was all Guinness and kebab. I'm a classy lady.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:31,
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Did it taste of kebab on the way out too?(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:35,
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It certainly did.(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:37,
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Think of it as a two-for-one then.With the added bonus of fewer calories.
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my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:39,
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they're just like normal peopleonly there's shit under the brim
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:33,
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Cool.I like spinal ops.
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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:31,
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Shark Sandwich.Two word review: Shit Sandwich.
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:35,
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It was pretty interesting.Turns out I'm not as squeamish as I thought.
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my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:54,
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tiny tiny brains(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:33,
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Sounds delicious.(
my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:55,
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I've spent most of the day trying to get Win7 to install from a flash drive, using Win7 Beta.I've just found a few blank DVDs, one of which was in my machine.
=/
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:34,
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I've spent my day watching two men cut open a girls back and screwing their two rods into her spine.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:40, archived)
borked sql tables?last thing i broke was my laptop by kicking it off the sofa
what was the last thing you broke?
(minus 2million points to the first person who says hymen)
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chuff monkey I AM him, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:57,
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Your dad's larynx with my scaly fucking cloaca.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 14:58,
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EVERYBODY F5 UNTIL IT GETS FIXED !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:00,
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I've told you countless times, Gobbo, you've got a misses now, and I can't stand between you two.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:07,
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i'm going to tear off your genitals just to be sure(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:09,
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They're fucking pointless without you anyway.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:11,
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TFD said my girlfriend was "very beautiful" you know.(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:14,
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she is indeedand you are a genuinely lovely man and you thoroughly deserve to have a beautiful girlfriend
that's enough sloppiness from me, I need to get back to insulting people now
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:20,
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remember to delete it when she dumps you(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:32,
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She's not good enough for you. Nobody is.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:28,
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DUMP HER AND GO OUT WITH ME !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:31,
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no chance,she's really, really really hot.
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:45,
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i'm going to use this type of F5:www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xZzVEyewy0
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:03,
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I like how Darren their used the song "SexyBack".That's deffo not gay at all.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:07,
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i don't have any sound at worki reckon that's just the song you hear in your head
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:13,
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I don't see how anyone can object to this postit has a topical statement about b3ta
it has a semi-comedic story about breaking something
it has a question
and it has a joke about hymens
I rate the post very highly, it sets a new standard to which we as b3tans should all aspire
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:03,
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I added sarcitalics for clarity(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:16,
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but that's not how you make babies!(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:24,
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it was a marshmallow one from a box of lucky charms thoughso never mind!
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:00,
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Well,everyone's always after me Lucky Charms
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:03,
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Yesbecause I'm Queen Bitch.
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:13,
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I keep breaking my netbook as I get used to altering linux.I've had to reinstall it several times.
the last time I borked it was last night when I learned how to reprogram the fan and the netbook didn't like that.
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Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 14:59,
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woo several geek points to youat least re installing linux is a doddle compared to the bloaty frog that is windows
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chuff monkey I AM him, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:02,
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I've got a USB dongle that's a recovery drive.If I break it, in it goes, 10 minutes later = fresh install
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Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 15:03,
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I tried to do thatbut the laptop was a little old (and had had some minor sofa kickings)
i never did find a way to make the usb stick a boot disk
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chuff monkey I AM him, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:08,
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There once was a young man from Kent,Whose cock was exceedingly bent.
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
And instead of coming he went.
(
TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:24,
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The world record for the most midgets fisted at the same time(it was 2 btw)
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:01, archived)
I think people with more than two handshave an unfair advantage at this sport
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chuff monkey I AM him, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:03,
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Someones Morale.(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:01,
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I broke newport pagnell and no one has noticed/(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:03,
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and no one ever willnewport pagnell smells funny, was that you?
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chuff monkey I AM him, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:04,
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That's very near me,it's shit, but there's a few decent curry houses.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:20, archived)
My computer deskI stood on it to reach a high shelf.
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Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:04,
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quick write a RIDDOR reportor whatever the one is that you have to do when someone breaks something big at work
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chuff monkey I AM him, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:06,
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No need,It was my cheap Focus-bought desk at home.
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Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:08,
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i broke some crockery at lunch timethere's a crockery smashing stall here at work
it's fucking great fun
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:04,
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are you in a job that stressfulwhere they allow you to break stuff,
or do you just like going to village fete type things?
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chuff monkey I AM him, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:11,
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i work at a collegesome students set it up
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:23,
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Are you sure it wasn't a Smashing Crockery stall and you'd stumbled into the antiques roadshow?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:14,
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explain to me how that wouldn't be fucking great fun?(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:22,
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I bet michael aspell bumped into a few loose fingered old biddies with vases on purpose more than once(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:31,
archived)
i serve all sorts there, yes you are welcome to come to my spacebar whenever you wish(, Thu 7 May 2009, 15:32, archived)
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