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Is this woman charging people for listening to a list of her favourite colours?
Amazon link to CD

Or am I missing something?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:30, archived)
Fucking hippies.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:31, archived)
I think she must have a soothing voice.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:32, archived)
I listened to the preview
I wasn't convinced of the soothing properties of her voice.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:36, archived)
"My Favorite Power Words"
Action that fucking favourite power word, stat.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:32, archived)
I'd blue sky that brainstorm MGT.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:32, archived)
she's even spelled it wrong

(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:32, archived)
spelt

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:33, archived)
I thought both were acceptable.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:34, archived)
depends how much of an arse you want to be

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

spelt
2  /splt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [spelt]
–noun
a wheat, Triticum aestivum spelta, native to southern Europe and western Asia, used chiefly for livestock feed.


spell
1  /spl/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [spel]
–verb (used with object)
1. to name, write, or otherwise give the letters, in order, of (a word, syllable, etc.): Did I spell your name right?
2. (of letters) to form (a word, syllable, etc.): The letters spelled a rather rude word.
3. to read letter by letter or with difficulty (often fol. by out): She painfully spelled out the message.
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:39, archived)
What dictionary is that then?
And does it have "color" in it?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:40, archived)
did you notice the top bit where the wheat is definition 2?
:)
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:41, archived)
ahhhhhhhh

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:42, archived)
There is no such thing as american english,
only English and bad english.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:41, archived)
This is possibly the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
If you click and you're hormonal, you might cry.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:32, archived)
... are you pregnant or something?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:34, archived)
Pretty sure I'm not.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:36, archived)
I found it immensely cute too
and I'm not pregnant or pandering.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:36, archived)

not pregannt or
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:36, archived)
I see what you did there

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:38, archived)
That was the plan.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:38, archived)
Oh no!
He missed one last year :(
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:35, archived)
I know. :(

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:35, archived)
one year he wont be there
and all the ducklings will fall to their death.
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:37, archived)
Limey wept.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:37, archived)
He must appoint a successor in his will

(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:37, archived)
I say we kill him.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:38, archived)
It'll serve that stupid bitch right though
for nesting in a stupid place.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:38, archived)
No, bitches are female dogs
They were ducklings, not puppies. Although leaping puppies would be amusing.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:40, archived)
I DEMAND YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF THIS
And then another one with kittyums.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:41, archived)
<s>kittyums</s> kittens
Gay cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:44, archived)
darwinism at work
they'll evolve a lift
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:42, archived)
awww

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:38, archived)
he's awfully pleased with himself for being able to catch things
wouldn't it have been easier to just fetch them down, like he ends up doing at the end?

twat
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:42, archived)
To be fair, if I caught just one of them I'd be very pleased with myself.
I catch like a girl.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:44, archived)
Well that's made evolution pointless.
He's watering down the duck population with idiot blood.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:44, archived)
Good.
The fucking duck cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:46, archived)
If this were the day shift, there would now be a lengthy pedantic wrangle about the way evolution really works.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:46, archived)
And people call *me* tedious??

(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:47, archived)
We mainly call yuo boring.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:50, archived)
it's in our own evolutionary interest to weaken our competitors.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:46, archived)
Ducks don't compete with me for much.
In fact, they're a food source. A delicious food source.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:48, archived)
you'll be sorry when they take over the world.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:49, archived)
I'll just stay away from water and try not to keep bread in my pockets

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:54, archived)
Especially crispy, in pancakes with hoi-sin sauce.

(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:49, archived)
I'm sure thickie ducks taste just as nice

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:49, archived)
Not if they jumped off a building beforehand.
Probably, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:51, archived)
Where is the daddy duck?

(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:46, archived)
she's obviously some kind of epic bell end

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:33, archived)
I dream of the day when /talk is that exciting

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:34, archived)
The world would fall apart

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:36, archived)
I'm sure your greasemonkey script goes some way to acheiving this aim

(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:37, archived)
It's only fucking 13 minutes long
what a jip!
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:35, archived)
Who the fuck can fall asleep in just 13 minutes anyway?

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:36, archived)
Maybe her favourite things are REALLY dull?

(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

davidguy.brinkster.net/goaste/pictures/nemi/DIZZY002.gif
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/10642/1205267391/nemi3.gif
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:46, archived)
maybe it's really a russian cypher key

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:35, archived)
hang on, number 4 beige?
better burn an embassy then
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:37, archived)
I think someone already made that album
It was only a few minutes long and went "These are a few of my favourite things."
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:36, archived)
track one is quite useful though

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:39, archived)
This
we can't always rely on reflexes.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:44, archived)
Bore yourself to sleep.

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:44, archived)
playing that sort of thing at the cenotaph
could get you arrested
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:57, archived)
I FUCKING HATE FLU.
Seriously, this is just rude now.

How the fuck is everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:16, archived)
I'm 100% fanfuckingtastic.
I want to go for a jog tomorrow at 7am. This will involve getting up before 7am.

Not likely :(
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:16, archived)
I've been getting up at 7:30 a lot lately
Suprisingly affable.
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:17, archived)
Yeah but that's because you're infected.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
ZOMBIE WANT BRAAAAAAINZZZZZZZZ

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
*shoots for the head*
If this is a zombie apocalypse, hopefully Milla Jovovich will come out wearing something sexy while she shoots shit.

Good times.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:19, archived)
like that masking tape she wore in 5th element
PHWOAR
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:23, archived)
I have to get up that that time
every school morning. It's a little poo.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
I don't go to bed til past 2 tho, so I like to think i'm a bit hardcore

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:19, archived)
that is hardcore!
Well done.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:22, archived)
I FEEL SPECIAL NOW :)

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:23, archived)
Why do you take poo to school?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:20, archived)
cos I don't get chance to go to the toilet

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:21, archived)
Fucking wimp.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
:(
I wake up, feel fine, but then decide to go back to sleep for no reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:19, archived)
I'm champion.
I'm JMG.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:17, archived)
Yes you are ;)

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
I've managed to upset 50% of Birmingham's football supporting folk.
I love the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:26, archived)
You do it so well JMG

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:27, archived)
flu? really, i doubt it, no offence, okGREAT
GREAT FORUM
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
Oh mongy, that's not nice.
Rude times.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:19, archived)
I feel really tired.
I am placing the blame for this on shaving off my MANBEARD tonight.
It's like Samson having his hair cut off...
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
It's a good move though
no one really likes beards
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:21, archived)
Except, without it, I look about 16.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:21, archived)
I understand
But, if we take for example Justin Timberlake, we can clearly see that whilst the lack of beard does enhance his young looks, it makes him look like a creepy peado.

It's a tough call, but ultimately correct.
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

Beard.

No beard.

You lot decide.

Option 3 = paper bag.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:27, archived)
Definitely no beard

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:28, archived)
See, I disagree.
But it's done now.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:28, archived)
No beard
You look like a stalker with a beard.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:29, archived)
:(((
Don't I look rugged and manly?
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:31, archived)
no
you look a little scary, you look a lot nicer without a beard.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:33, archived)
I am scary though.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:34, archived)
no

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:38, archived)
RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAaaaarrr!
*waves arms threateningly*
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:40, archived)
*yawns*

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:49, archived)
Always no beard.
Without looking at the photos.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:30, archived)
You should look though.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:31, archived)
definitely no face

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:30, archived)
paper bag then.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:30, archived)
haha fuck

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:31, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:32, archived)
Piston used to have a beard like that.
So I used to refer to him as "Cap'n Gaybeard".
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:31, archived)
Gilgamesh calls me Gaybeard.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:32, archived)
see, now I understand why he looks like a stalker to me.

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:34, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:37, archived)
The beard makes you look like a paedo

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:37, archived)
Everyone needs a hobby.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:37, archived)
i like mine
*bristles*
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:23, archived)
Me too!
*Bristles back in beardy solidarity*
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:33, archived)
Don't do it!
I have forgotten what I look like clean shaven now. It has been years since I was last beardless!
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:31, archived)
Not too bad, just got an email with some good news
after a hellish week last week.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
woo and poo

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:22, archived)
job situation: really poor.
other than that, not so bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:19, archived)
Buy a pony
It will make everything suddenly ok
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:22, archived)
I hate horses.
I'm allergic to them.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:23, archived)
Get a goat and draw a mane on it then

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:25, archived)
I'm not entirely sure how this is supposed to help.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:26, archived)
Neither am I if I'm honest
But the whimsy might distract you for a while
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:29, archived)
Yes! You're right!
Whimsy is exactly what I need right now.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:30, archived)
I've done my two hardest exams.
I'm seeing my loverrrr this weekend.
I have red wine.
And I'm watching Bright Eyes videos. This one gives me goosebumps every time I watch it, it's so adorable.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:20, archived)
That song makes me want to go to the bank.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:21, archived)
Why?

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:23, archived)
Not too bad
How you feeling now?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:20, archived)
bleurgh
mostly

How's you?
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:20, archived)
Cold of doom is finally gone
along with my sexy phlemy voice :(

Got an interview tomorrow that I really want as the place sounds awesome
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:37, archived)
I got peroxide on my hands and they went white

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:20, archived)
I'm pretty good.
Although it looks like the electricity company has realised they haven't sent me a bill in the last year.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:22, archived)
I woke up at 6am this morning. I'm in bed already.
If I could get my housematd to turn her music down without me having to get out of bed then I could sleepz. Vere tired.
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:25, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:25, archived)
On the plus
Tomorrow is my last day at work into tuesday! But I've nothing to do over the weekend. Any suggestions, oh brainy sexy one?
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:32, archived)
E-mail her or phone her up.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:32, archived)
This will cheer you up
gotsars.rdw.org/link/4688
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:26, archived)
hahaha
that's ace
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:27, archived)
I'd do it to my cat
but she's not allowed in through the cat flap these days, not until we've killed the other cat that comes in and sprays everywhere.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:30, archived)
Not bad, considering I've been up since mid-day yesterday.
Didn't even have the usual nodding off in the middle of the day either.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:27, archived)
I've just listened to the new Heaven and Hell (basically Black Sabbath) album and quite enjoyed it.
What has pleasantly surprised you lately?
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:00, archived)
nothing

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:01, archived)
Ok, I'll broaden my search.
lately ever
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:02, archived)
I read that as 'broaden my snatch'

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:03, archived)
Go on then.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:03, archived)
I'll just get my speculum from the fridge

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
Have you got a marrow?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:06, archived)
And some sandy lube

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:07, archived)
You're the man with everything.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:08, archived)
Everything and a marrow

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:09, archived)
I think that was the title of a Blur album.

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:10, archived)
Not what you ordered for lunch then?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:16, archived)
You'll have to buy me a drink first.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
How many new threads do you reckon Mykeyboy sees in a day?
It's got to be down to single figures.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:06, archived)
I can't remember
too long ago.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:05, archived)
The JMG FAN CLUB.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:01, archived)
I met a b3tan and was surprised he wasn't as much a prick as I thought he'd be.

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:02, archived)
He was lovely in fact

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:02, archived)
who?
/nosy
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:02, archived)
It was Russ

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:10, archived)
really?
He's a bit shit.

;o)
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:12, archived)
aw thanks

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
ha ha.
I've met you before, silly
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:06, archived)
I wish that the various members of Black Sabbath (including all singers)
would have stopped writing music about 25 years ago.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:02, archived)
It's obviously not going to top the 70s stuff,
but it's a good album.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
It's not.
IMO (I had a listen as it was in my amazon recommended list).
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:06, archived)
Fair enough, it works for me.
I'm also impressed by the new Mastodon album, but that's no surprise.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:07, archived)
Mastodon?
*yawns*
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:08, archived)
Well, you're clearly a deviant.
Great band.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:11, archived)
They're not.
They're a great bland (lol)
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:12, archived)
The service kit for my car was considerably cheaper than I was expecting.

(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:03, archived)
Winning my appeal for my sick pay!
Take that Mr Manager, Mr Area Manager thinks I'm correct! Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:11, archived)
I've been listening to the Pet Shop Boys best of
and was surprised by how many songs I knew the words to. Maybe not pleasantly surprised, but surprised. And the intro to Always on my Mind is fantastic when it kicks in at high volume.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:13, archived)
if you keep chewing pie gristle for about an hour then it turns into acceptably edible if slightly tasteless pie meat

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:14, archived)
I think that's how Ginsters do it too.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:15, archived)
this air stuff is pretty alright to breathe

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:15, archived)
Me again.
I must say that my best and more in depth conversations about CARS down below was primarily with the birds.
What the hell is going on with b3ta's men?!
You all aren't turning in to WOO HOO MOOHALAAs are you?


On the flip side, I hope these women aren't expecting me to discuss women's issues in depth.
I've never mopped, I'd be lost.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:50, archived)
JMG failed utterly in terms of car ownership
and I refuse to consort with such a mincing sack of makeup and carpark dents when it comes to motors. Man the fuck up, Jammers.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:51, archived)
I've never dented Mr. T!
How very dare you!

:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:54, archived)
Hubare was at the wheel and I was on the impact side of a CONFUSED WOMAN'S 4x4 that totalled the Peugeot a few years back.
My only crash.

Hubare couldn't open my door. I was trapped.
I dare suggest there was wild panic on here.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:55, archived)
you were in a FRENCH car?
GET THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNET!
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:56, archived)
Wasn't mine.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:56, archived)
why weren't you bashing hubare's face into the steering wheel
to teach him the errors of driving es-car-gos.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:57, archived)
It wasn't his fault.
It was THE RANDOM WOMAN'S fault.
She knocked us from one side of a roundabout to another.


OH THE HUMANITY.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:58, archived)
She was doing her driver's duty
of ridding the roads of a Peugeot. Anyone else would have done the same. She should have got a medal.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:59, archived)
You'll no doubt tear up at the compensation I got.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:00, archived)
Yes
it should be awarded to her as prize money
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:00, archived)
Don't you worry.
I really haven't spent it all.
Sometimes I roll around in all those notes and dream of Citroen cars raping your mother.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
Whilst your father gives a Peugeot a blumpkin.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 22:05, archived)
A rise out of JMG
the big man loses his cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:07, archived)
You've named your car, Mr Geordie
That means nothing less than you wishing you had another mans penis up your bot-bot.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:56, archived)
Alright this is three cracks now at getting an argument going.
Can one of you girls please validate this man?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:57, archived)
Are you trying to get girls to fight your fights, JMG?
poor show, poor show indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:58, archived)
I'm not IN a fight.
Am I missing on the latest meme where we all are meant to act slow on here?
This really should be in the newsletter.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:59, archived)
Don't worry JMG I don't do mopping either

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:51, archived)
i've never ironed anything
ever
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:52, archived)
I tend to buy clothes that don't need ironing

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:54, archived)
what's the best way to hide when you've dripped menstruation all down the back inside of your favourite summer dress?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:53, archived)
accidently spill some red wine on it too?

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:55, archived)
Rucksack. Adjust the straps so that it's hanging so low
it covers your arse
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:55, archived)
And then realise how foolish it was to
A: Wear a dress during rag week
B: If you must wear a dress pick the right absorbency or change more frequently.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:57, archived)
This happened to me
when I was at school. I didn't have much choice in the clothes I wore.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:58, archived)
Hello JMG.
I am playing tunes on stream.ifaze.nl:8070/listen.pls
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:53, archived)
I'm going to CALL IN and make a HILLARIOUS COMMENT.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:56, archived)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:57, archived)
I have no car, but I'm looking at a nice manly Volvo.
Feel better?
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:54, archived)
Volvo's ARE very manly, mind.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:58, archived)
in the same way that smoking a pipe is.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:59, archived)
They're the slippers of the automotive world

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:03, archived)
I have a car it is black
I have also mopped, it was dull.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:57, archived)
form banter i don't understand, no offence
great forum
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:57, archived)
I missed the question
But I have a Jaguar XJR

some say, it is an extension of my penis.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:02, archived)
Goodnight JMG

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:10, archived)
As we all know, JMG drives a HONDA.
What are we, on the road?


/edit
B3ta has a new TEAM HONDA.
All the rest of you are shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:34, archived)
*Honda fives*

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:34, archived)
*Honda Club Handshakes*

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:35, archived)
Type-R Civic fives?

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:35, archived)
It's not a Type R.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:36, archived)
Civic fives?

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:36, archived)
Indeed, and wall laid.
*Fives*
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:37, archived)
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:35, archived)
Have legs, will use.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:34, archived)
Kappas,
or Aasics if I'm jogging.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:35, archived)
Are you running in the early 90's?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:36, archived)
Aasics are a popular brand these days.
My Volleyball trainers are always Aasics, top brand.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:37, archived)
Isn't it "Asics"?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:37, archived)
It is, strictly speaking.
But their logo looks like an "a" and always has their name asics after it, so people call them aasics.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:39, archived)
in this case, it's probably sainsburys bAsics

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:40, archived)
yeah, well!
i drive one of them wipeout hover cars.
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:35, archived)
GAZUMPED!
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:36, archived)
oh it was all lies, jmg
i'm so sorry
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:41, archived)
i'm not sure my information online will help this forum, or could, not my thread to join into, not my thing, or is, no offence
ok
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:36, archived)
Ahh but JMG is an Accord?

(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:36, archived)
No.
I'm not a vigilante or anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:37, archived)
Vigilante Fail!
I'm a Fiesta driver.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:39, archived)
Very dull car :(

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:47, archived)
A bus passenger JMG

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:36, archived)
Best rush hour car of all!

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:39, archived)
I rarely bus these days.
:(
Only to away games. Occasionally.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:39, archived)
BUS WANKER!

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:46, archived)
FUCK YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:47, archived)
If you could fuck your mum or Neil's sister, which one would you?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:50, archived)
Legs.
It's faster than the traffic on most of the main roads today.

Thanks to a serious accident on the M62 and the resultant cascade of tailbacks, it took me an hour and a half to go ten miles this morning.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:37, archived)
In a bus.
On the top deck, at the front, on the right.
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:38, archived)
A big-engined six-cylinder BMW
with an interior phone and leather door panels.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:39, archived)
I just imagined the doors being leather on the outside

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:40, archived)
Lovely form.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:40, archived)
I read that as leather door penis

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:41, archived)
oh what would Freud make of us lot

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:42, archived)
it's for battering poor people if they get too close when I park

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:43, archived)
I bet you'd want to be catseyes
so you could look up all the cars' skirts
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:45, archived)
pfffft a Honda Accord perchance?

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:41, archived)
I had a Nissan Micra. For a couple of months.
I'm renting a car for a bit over the summer so I can run away on the weekends.
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:42, archived)
I've driven a Micra.. Back when I first passed.
I've also driven a C3. Which I believe is French for bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:45, archived)
I drove a Micra,
back when I lived with my mum. It was one of the old-style square ones.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:46, archived)
I've also handled a Fiesta in my time, and a Corsa.
I don't mind a good CORSA.

Don't think much of the new design, mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:47, archived)
I haven't driven anything other than that one Micra.
It was faster than you'd expect for something with a 998cc engine.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:48, archived)
K10?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:50, archived)
looks like it,
I don't know.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:52, archived)
Corsas are pants.
HAVE AN IMAGINATION, MAN!
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:50, archived)
I drove a Micra straight into a pile of scrap cars once
it snapped.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:49, archived)
Although saying that, it might have been a Hyundai Pony

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:49, archived)
Hyundai Pony?
:(

Haven't seen one for years, must have all rotted away.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:51, archived)
That was the deal with this one
I got given it for banger racing, but both sills were so rotten it wasnt even worth stripping for spares, so I dumped it into reverse and drove it backwards into the scrapyard and into the nearest pile. Got 20 quid.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:53, archived)
Can't argue with that.

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:55, archived)
hahahahaha
actually I don't know why I found that so funny.
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:53, archived)
my mum got rear-ended by a Subaru Justy in one,
the Justy was a right off, the Micra needed a bit of straightening out.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:53, archived)
I liked Justys
especially the 4x4s.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:58, archived)
Wasn't that the same as a Suzuki Swift?

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:59, archived)
ehhh, urrr, hmmmm, uhhh
there was a LOT of pinching and swapping going on with those two back then.
Which one made the Bedford Rascal van in a 4x4 version? Was that Subaru too?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:03, archived)
Bedford was General Motors, wasn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:04, archived)
Was based on the Suzuki Carry, according to Wikipedia.
You could be thinking of the Daewoo Damas.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:10, archived)
Actually, I'm thinking of the Subaru Libero
the one they made 4x4 just so they could say every car in the range was available as AWD.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:13, archived)
Looks like the Mystery Machine.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:14, archived)
Yeah, but these big manufacturers swap old plans around all the time
Daewoo Nexia is an Opel Astra, Daewoo Espero was an Opel Ascona, Mazda 121 was an old Ford Fiesta (yes, I know, Ford own Mazda); it wouldn't surprise me if the crafty Asians didn't buy a redundant blueprint or go 50/50 on the design for exclusive production rights on each continent.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:10, archived)
Daewoo and Opel are both GM.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:12, archived)
They are now
they weren't back then.
(Daewoo also owned FSO, the Polish factory, about 5km from my flat)
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:16, archived)
My mum inherited an FSO from my granddad.
It was crap.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:18, archived)
it was a AWD

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

away over kittens
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:46, archived)
I got me a Honda Prelude Type S
Its all good.
(Fluffster, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:42, archived)
I think that on b3ta, Team Honda are the best team on here.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:46, archived)
Damn right
They all dont have the Vtec.
(Fluffster, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:46, archived)
Who needs vtec when you've got VANOS

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:47, archived)
Vtec AND Lsd.
I guess your BMW will have some sort of diff though.
(Fluffster, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:49, archived)
the one I'm looking at has TWO diffs
and a transfer box.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:50, archived)
well, quite.
It would be sheer foolishness to have both.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:50, archived)
but Vtec is wank in that it has only two cam lobes to select from
rather than a conical gear at the sprocket end and angled lobes on one cam, giving a massively varied range of valve timings.
And then there's DOUBLE VANOS!
*orgasms*
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:55, archived)
it's clever stuff.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:56, archived)
The Type S
is prob the best Vtec apart from the NSX. 5200rpm-9500rpm is a rush in any gear.
(Fluffster, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:00, archived)
I'll admit I know fuck all about any car made this millenium

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 22:01, archived)
you know those light cycles from tron?
yeah
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:44, archived)
the ones that only exist in a computer game?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:44, archived)
a film, tron was a film

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:54, archived)
yes
a film about someone being trapped inside computer games.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:55, archived)
jenpots in a car

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:46, archived)
Today I begin my own weight loss group, called Yummy Mummies
What advice have you for my new members?
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:21, archived)
Fuck off and die.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:22, archived)
*soothes your fevered brow*

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:22, archived)
Here's a chance for me to shine!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:22, archived)
Bald etc.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:22, archived)
don't eat cake

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:22, archived)
*takes note*

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:22, archived)
"You lost several pounds in a matter of hours when you gave birth.
Try to squeeze more things out of your downstairs."
(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:24, archived)
pfffffft

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:25, archived)
*queefs*

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:26, archived)
:(!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:30, archived)
GOOD ADVICE

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:25, archived)
WINNAR^^^

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:26, archived)
Shit yourself thin

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:28, archived)
eat less crap. eat less overall. exercise more.
/helpfull
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:24, archived)
eat anything you like
it's okay if you make yourself sick afterwards
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:25, archived)
Hello.
I may be playing tunes.
Somewhere.
Online.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:27, archived)
i expect i'll tune in soonish

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:27, archived)
more running around
less eating. I'm sure having children makes you fairly stressed, try to harness that frantic mood and the pounds will fall off.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:25, archived)
i have no advice as i have no formal or in formal training it what ever you are trying to achieve, or i may, it is vague, or not, no offence, great
lovely
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:26, archived)
Exercise until your heart rate is up, and then keep going.
If you do 40 minutes trundle on a treadmill whilst reading 'Hello' you'll get fed up with the whole thing long before you lose any meaningful weight.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:26, archived)
I've been going to the gym
for 4 weeks now, at 4 times a week. I've lost sod all.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:27, archived)
You need to work REALLY REALLY hard for the initial period.
Starting slow and working yourself up will do sweet FA.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:30, archived)
I know how to exercise
I did used to ninja.

I need to stop eating, that'll sort it.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:31, archived)
plus, you're basically bus pass age anyway,
it gets harder to lose weight at that age.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:32, archived)
I'm 31!!
You knacker brain.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:33, archived)
Have you had your flu jabs?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:34, archived)
go away
not your friend now.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:37, archived)
:(
Hug?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:37, archived)
fuck off

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:39, archived)
Genuine offence!

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:40, archived)
LOL

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:42, archived)
:(
I don't know what you've been doing, but have you done the above?
Most of the women at my gym that I see who don't change seem to think just putting in time is enough.

Maybe you've built muscle tone instead? Muscle weighs a lot.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:30, archived)
I train for an hour and half
and I work up a proper sweat, not like the dozy cows that go to my gym.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:35, archived)
Maybe just need to keep going at it.
It will work.
Without being rude, the bigger you are to start with the longer it will take to show a difference.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:36, archived)
I want to see sexy naked photos of them in 6 months
Mmmmmm MILFy.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:27, archived)
They're new mums, so
F K
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:27, archived)
Ewwww

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:29, archived)
Kill your children then kill yourself
you fat, mithering breeding carriers of deficient empty pointless genes
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:27, archived)
Steady on now, she never said they were b3tans.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:28, archived)
no, but she implied they were humans

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:30, archived)
Yes
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apotemnophilia
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:28, archived)
It's a terrible name, you should be called Mums' Inch Loss Fest

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:28, archived)
i remember seeing a sign outside a weight watchers type place in the beano
'lose fat here and be a fat loser'
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:31, archived)
I've totally got a serious one.
Don't eat the kids' leftover dinners at dinner time. Throw them away, compost them or put them in the fridge for next day's lunch.
(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:30, archived)
what no,
force the kids to eat them, the ungrateful little mites.

Never throw food away. There's little kids in Biafra etc..
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:32, archived)
When I saw the advert where she talks about eating the kids' leftover dinners,
I thought "seriously, do people actually do that?"

Just give the kids kid size portions in the first place.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:33, archived)
I advise them to lose weight.

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:32, archived)
you wont lose weight if you keep jamming bears in your fanny

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:33, archived)
Bears: The number one cause of more bears.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:36, archived)
have a proper breakfast.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:34, archived)
Artie Lange is a God amongst regular men.
You'd do better to be more like him.
Comedy wise, not girth. Let's not open the door for you all pile on yet more pounds and cost the nation more in fuel as we bus you from heart check up to heart check up.

Some of you really need to pull yourselves together. Come on.
You stupid fat shits.


What's your favourite type of Tennis?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:20, archived)
Tennis.
Mens. The women's game is shit to watch unless it's Dementieva against Ivanovic.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:21, archived)
Don't they both play for Chelsea?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:22, archived)
Branislav Ivanovic isn't as sexy as Anna Ivanovic.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:23, archived)
Mario Tennis.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:22, archived)
Table?
Naked?
or possibly drunken naked table tennis?
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:25, archived)
*Fumbles with paddle*

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:27, archived)
Good brother in law got me a set of 8 Marx Brothers films for my birthday tomorrow.
I am pleased.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:58, archived)
You just posted.
I'm displeased.

Please stop doing it.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:58, archived)
This is good.
You might even enjoy the carvery.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:59, archived)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
You're a very determined young man.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:01, archived)
Suck my sweaty balls.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:01, archived)
No. I've just had dinner and I'm full.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:04, archived)
forum banter, great stuff

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:04, archived)
i'm glad you are pleased, or not, not for me to judge really, ok, no offence
marx times, or not

good forum
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:59, archived)
Happy birthday for tomorrow
It makes me happy that you're older than me.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:59, archived)
It makes me happy that you look older than me.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
bumeyes

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:02, archived)
Shame you're older than everyone else other than him.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
shush it up
Mr Grumpy Pants
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:05, archived)
he took a stanley knife to each disc though

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
I've bought you a matrix trilogy souveneir tea towel

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
FUCKYEH.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
you can leave all the tea spoons at the bottom of the bowl,
and when your wife asks where the teaspoons are
you can say:
'we don't have any tea spoons'
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:02, archived)
I wish my sisters would get married so I could have an awesome brother in law for Mr Sp@m to knock about with
both in their 40s and bloody single.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:00, archived)
Dried up and I bet they have cats.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:01, archived)
Neither of them have cats both have children though
one of them has just moved back in with my parents
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:02, archived)
i'm single, or not, forum banter, no offence
times forum
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:02, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6162184
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:05, archived)
He's probably copied over them all with Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps.

(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:04, archived)
HOORAH

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:07, archived)
My mum got me... *drum roll*

NOTHING. I'm not even surprised.
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:11, archived)
if you are not surprised then you won't care, or will, no offence
great
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:16, archived)
was it your birthday though?

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:18, archived)
I sold my car
and found £20
and gave blood
AND found my beloved zippo.

WHAT A GOOD DAY IT HAS BEEN TODAY.
oh and happy birthday or something, big four-oh and that
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:15, archived)
yeah, but you probably got AIDS from the twenty
Balance, and all that..
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:17, archived)
Are you coming to see me when you work here?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 21:21, archived)
might do
bearing in mind you are as shit as master of turnips
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:24, archived)
Hey fitness fighters.
JMG signing in.
What's the hot topic?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:41, archived)
I want some attention,
I'm not getting enough.

I don't want to stoop to starting a thread rush or random bullying.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:41, archived)
Fall out with somebody.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:42, archived)
I don't want to fall out with somebody.
I want some nice, friendly attention.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:43, archived)
cunt

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:43, archived)
Not from you,
I get plenty of your attention.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:45, archived)
That's cos I'm lovely.

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:45, archived)
Your attention will have to do.
You may choose a topic of conversation.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:49, archived)
what?
Oh no. I'm not putting effort in.

cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:50, archived)
This is lovely...

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:50, archived)
isn't it!

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:52, archived)
Put some effort in,
or I'll get the train up to Yorkshire and stab your children.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:51, archived)
meh
you're not scary either.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:52, archived)
Am I sexy?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:53, archived)
I seriously doubt it.
You are a b3tan.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:55, archived)
:(
You're fucking awful to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:56, archived)
I'm not!
I'm lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:56, archived)
Look back at this thread and see if that's true or not

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:57, archived)
yep
lovely
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:57, archived)
In other news
How was your exam?
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:52, archived)
It went ok.
I don't know how he expected me to write everything i needed to write and have sufficient time to think. I'm a physicist! I don't write pages and pages for each answer.

How was yours?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:54, archived)
Pretty good thanks.
Remembered all my population genetics equations and displayed them properly, didn't need my extra time that I get for being a bit spakky.

Made me feel a bit better about my exam tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:57, archived)
what spack do you have?
/nosy
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:58, archived)
Special dyslexia spak, pretty badly.
I'm allowed a scribe or a computer in my exams but I just find them a distraction. I get 25% extra time too.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:01, archived)
yay!
;o)
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:02, archived)
Dyslexia spak is probably the best kind of spak to have.
I can't remember numbers or copy notes and listen at the same time but it allows me to think in pictures and flow diagrams in my head. Really useful when you study a science subject!
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:05, archived)
You massive badger buggerer!
an argument may help prompt some attention
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:43, archived)
He'd snap if anyone tried to bugger him.
I'm still struggling with the logistics of them having sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:44, archived)
fish

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:41, archived)

i o

*wobbles hilariously*
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:42, archived)
It's a chocolate bar that's on the verge of melting, but that's not important right now.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:42, archived)
i'm not sure this forum creates any hot topics, or maybe it does, not for me to judge really, no offence
great forum
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:43, archived)
Swine Flu and MPs expenses.

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:43, archived)
Hammer are in this season
quiche is out.
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:44, archived)
i lost my eastwing hammer, that was a shame, or not, great, no offence
hammer times
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:45, archived)
I don't own my own hammer
I don't feel like a real man
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:47, archived)
That's because you're not a real man
fuck. Every day you disappoint me a little more.

*has at least seven hammers*
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:48, archived)
I have a gerber multitool
I flick that bastard out, tighten a few screws, saw a few twigs, plier some shit and all the bitches want me
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:50, archived)
i've got one of those.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:55, archived)
STOP EMASCULATING ME

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:57, archived)
I have a Leatherman
It has a man pouch for attaching it to your belt too.

Manly.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:59, archived)
Man up!
Go to B&Q and get one!
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:50, archived)
are you choosing b&q hammers over east wing? i'd like to know why, or not, no offence to you or b and q, none
great
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:53, archived)
B&Q have a good selection and a branch in every town.
I rather like Stanley hammers myself.

Great banter, great times.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:56, archived)
great hammer forum banter is the life blood of a forum, or not, no offence, stanley? no offence
great times
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:58, archived)
You can't beat a bit of hammer banter.
Or not.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 19 May 2009, 21:02, archived)
Just generic attention seeking as always JMG.
I'm glad you've finally arrived to sort it all out.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:44, archived)
I'm prepared to QUASH IT with my LYRICAL RHYMES.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:50, archived)
Well, good day chaps. My name is William, and I have a story to tell you.
Quite an epic, in fact, and one I hold dear to myself as it depicts the time my life was completely changed; flipped or turned upside down, one might say. So please take a seat for this will not take long, mayhap a few minutes, and I shall tell you how this young match boy became the prince of an idyllic hamlet called Bel Air.

You see, I was born and raised in West Philadelphia. I was quite a little scamp, let me tell you. I would spend most of my days on the playground with the other boys. Between bouts of chilling, maxing and relaxing we liked to indulge in a particularly fun game known as "B-Ball" around the back of the school hall. Life was indeed quaint and peaceful until one day when I found myself in an altercation with some miscreants from the projects. It was clear they were up to no good and were simply in our neighbourhood to cause trouble. In all truth our 'fight,' for want of a word, was little more than a brief scuffle in the playground. However, as with most things, Mother eventually found out. Always a worrier that woman, and once her mind is set on a decision nothing will change it. She made plans behind my back before taking me to one side and saying "you have an Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air, you shall go to live with them my son." I protested, but there was no changing her mind. The travel arrangements were set. To waylay suspicion I would be going by taxi.

So, my possessions packed and stowed, I set out for my new life. I whistled down a taxi and was aghast at the state of my carriage; most notably a license plate that said 'FRESH' and a rather obnoxious pair of fluffy dice hanging from the rear view mirror. I was assured by Mother that such taxis were quite rare, and as I slung my bags into it's boot and sat behind the driver I declared "Yo home to Bel Air!" The journey itself took several hours. I found myself reeling from the taxis driver's latent body odour problem and struggled with a tactful way to tell him of this.

Regardless the taxi pulled up at some point between seven or eight o'clock, and the most witty pun formed in my mind. Leaping out and grabbing my bags I shouted to the taxi driver "Yo homes, smell you later!" The driver was most displeased and refused to co-operate further. No matter. I looked around at the place that would now be my home, my kingdom as it were. After all this hardship I had finally come to claim my throne.

Verily I am the Prince of Bel Air.
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
Are you now.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:31, archived)
*turns up*
*fucks off again*
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:32, archived)
a) This isn't /offtopic
b) Fresh Prince jokes died before Maddie did
c) Fuck off, you tedious, limp-wristed self-absorbed Russell-Brand-wannabee prosaically paralysed twat.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:32, archived)
You can copy and paste.
Well done.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:32, archived)
No, really, I am very pleased with you.

(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:33, archived)
Look, this is my proud face.

(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:33, archived)
You're the Mum in those adverts with the shitting Chinese kid and the air freshener, aren't you

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:34, archived)
Yeah, and I'm still amazed my african husband hasn't realised the bairn isn't his.

(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:36, archived)
Something about prince of bel air..
blah blah blah...
didn't read it all
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:32, archived)
I'd too like some attention.
SOMEONE FUCKING GIVE IT TO ME OR I'LL START A THREAD.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:32, archived)
THIS IS THE CANCER THAT IS KILLING /b/3ta

(I helped save b3ta! idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:41, archived)
At the supermarket, I saw a ginger kid
it was the first carrot-top I have seen in years.

What would you have culled?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:14, archived)
Internet Fatties

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:15, archived)
oh and whoever the annoying cunt is that does the voiceover on the iPhone adverts.
media.fukung.net/images/16028/9861934345dc284c81b86fca2ced6093.gif
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:18, archived)
That's that whiney kid from that TV show

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:20, archived)
It's a scene from Dodgeball.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:21, archived)
Im not familiar with that particular televisual feast

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:22, archived)
It's a film.
That's a wrench he's throwing.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:22, archived)
He was also in Die Hard 4 righ'?
Die Hard is fuckin' awesome
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:22, archived)
No idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:23, archived)
Yes
but I recognised him as that cunt kid from "Ed"
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:25, archived)
Either way, I think my point was made successfully.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:28, archived)
The Swedish.

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:16, archived)
How dare you
javla fitta
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:19, archived)
Children with names that are abbreviations of actual names.
Sam, Charlie, Alfie, Archie, Harry etc.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:17, archived)
Tories.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:17, archived)
although i may have expressed opinions once, i won't now, if i ever did, or not, no offence
cool
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:17, archived)
yeah, opinionated people suck...
I fuckin' hate 'em. Them and their bloody opinions, yeah, cunts... or something.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:29, archived)
anyone who doesn't survive the annual running of the bears with guns instead of arms

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:18, archived)
we all have the right to bear arms

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:18, archived)
CAN YOU SURVIVE THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:26, archived)
flies

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:18, archived)
swans

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:18, archived)
Armenians.
They just won't shut up about the goddamn genocide.
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:18, archived)
Musicians who slap their instruments while they're playing and look smug.
But I wouldn't cull them, I'd just break their arms.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:19, archived)
Slap bass?
What about the theme from Seinfeld?!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:21, archived)
I'm talking about actually slapping the body here.
The sort of thing Jamie Cullum does.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:22, archived)
Oh right yeah...
more like Jamie Cull-him...ah ha...

sigh
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:24, archived)
fucking bongo players

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:24, archived)
Bloody Slap-Jazz-Flute bastards!

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:24, archived)
ACID JAZZ!
UUrrRrGGggHHHhh!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
People who watch ITV

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

I
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:21, archived)
stop bullying Mykey

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:25, archived)
I really ought to be more sympathetic towards people whose entire lives revolve around DVDs, food and alcohol
it's a quality of humanity worthy of recognition equal to any other Nobel field.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:26, archived)
You forgot something from that list:
media.fukung.net/images/15872/5095796f2db84b25ad90d0e721ecc976..jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:28, archived)
hahaha
it's his childhood dream come true!
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
Icosahedrons need love too, you bastards

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
yeah ok
but don't forsake the rhombic triacontahedrons.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

is that what it is? I don't know
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:33, archived)
the one in the picture is an icosahedron

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:36, archived)
Oh dear.
:/
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:31, archived)
or you could just type messages on a forum casting judgement on anybodies life or hobbies and enjoyments, even the great forum itself, or not, no offence
cool
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:30, archived)
pretty much
you pointless lumps of carbohydron
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:34, archived)
forum banter, great times

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:35, archived)
do you have an opinion on bivvys?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:36, archived)
i prefer one, but that is personal choice and not in any way to assume mine is better than others, or not, no offence
great banter
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:42, archived)
I quite like DVDs, food and alcohol.
I don't see this as a problem.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:33, archived)
I'll be leaving for the pub in about an hour.
SSG will be there, anybody have any messages for him?

ALT: When was the last time you got completely smashed, what happened?

EDIT: No messages for SSG? He will be disappointed...
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:49, archived)
last time I got completely smashed,
I threw up on someone's landing, and it had cigarette ends in it. Apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:49, archived)
Haha,
oh lord.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:51, archived)
You think that's bad, look at this!
b3ta.belm.co.uk/showerscene

NSFW (but it's not NSFA)
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:14, archived)
AAaaAAUuUrrrgGHGhHhHGhH
MY EYES!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:19, archived)
I couldn't be bothered making it a GIF, so a 22MB BMP was the obvious way to make it load slowly from the bottom up.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:22, archived)
It worked brilliantly!

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:23, archived)
Congrats...
:(
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:25, archived)
WHAPPLE

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:52, archived)
yes.
quite.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:53, archived)
complete the sequence:
napple
wapple
yapple
rapple
...
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:54, archived)
Mapple

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:56, archived)
actually it's vapple
then sapple, then back to napple.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:57, archived)
NWYRVS
that's how I remember it
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:58, archived)
or 1,2,3,4,5,6,7
if you're dyslexic and trying to write down numbers of apples.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:59, archived)
Oh silly me

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:00, archived)
I went to a to have and have not houseparty before.
I dressed as a tramp and drank special brew, which contained fag butts towards the end of the night. That special brew ain't no good I tells ya'.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:53, archived)
you were lucky you didn't beat yourself up.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:53, archived)
Hmm, I did wake up with some bruises.
*ponders*
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:55, archived)
Put some vinegar in SSG's pint.
When he spits it out, tell him "That's from Dave Trouser, your Internet Bully".

Thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:09, archived)
Consider it done Dave.
:O
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:14, archived)
You're a hero.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:15, archived)
I awoke on a roof of a derelict shopping center.

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:50, archived)
I awoke in Oxford once.
Which is a fair old way from Cardiff.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:54, archived)
*Google maps*
That is approximately 118 miles away. Bloody hell.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:03, archived)
I awoke in a conservatory of a house on Cowley road,
I'd started drinking at midday the previous day, and I was supposed to be in work that morning. It was the house of a band we'd been to see, 'Youthmovies', I guess they'd invited us back to theirs. That or we'd forced ourselves upon them or something...
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:07, archived)
i woke up in a soho doorway
a policeman knew my name
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:05, archived)
tell him, no offence, or not, no offence
great times
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:50, archived)
Will do, he'll love you for it, no offence.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:11, archived)
this duck, this fuck, no offence, banter
good forum
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:13, archived)
I can't remember the last time I got that drunk
I was quite drunk at Bluestar's birthday bash, but not smashed.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:50, archived)
There was karaoke, kebab and vomit.
Fun though.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:50, archived)
fun and karaoke are mutually exclusive

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:52, archived)
I threw up off someones balcony
and watched it splash down to the pavement eight floors below. This was around June 2008.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:51, archived)
Danced with glow sticks and a pint of gin/redbull at a wedding.
I was splendid. damaged my ulna.
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:52, archived)
Saturday.
I'm not entirely sure, but fortunately I narrowly missed out on sharing a bed with three male friends.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

bed whore
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:58, archived)
They were going to let me go first too.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:00, archived)
I stayed at someone's house then went home the next morning.
Crazy times man.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:52, archived)
and walked home like John Wayne.
as the college football team packed their bus up.
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:53, archived)
She was the bull in House Rodeo

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:55, archived)
closest college to me is a christian school
I'd only be walking funny if they collectively thumped me with their bibles.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:03, archived)
I threw up on the bonnet of an Audi TT
While my friend made soothing noises.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:54, archived)

soothing brrrrm brrrrm nneeeeooowww uurrrrrcccchhhhh
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:57, archived)
I have no idea who's car it was
I bet they were pleased in the morning.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:59, archived)
you should have done a poo in the middle of it
and they'd have thought it was an albatross
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:07, archived)
What's all this about Albert Ross?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:12, archived)
I got carried home from the pub by Azra3l at about 9.30pm
:(
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:56, archived)
Awww

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:56, archived)
and you've been with him ever since? no offence, forum banter
great times
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:58, archived)
rohypnlol

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:03, archived)
I really can't keep track of who's fucking who these days

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:59, archived)
Do you really need to?

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:03, archived)
I skipped down a street in Coventry.
And was left to sleep on my own while Druid and Malchick shared a bed.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 20:02, archived)
shunned

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:06, archived)
Druid and Malchick sharing a bed, isn't a new thing.

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:08, archived)
Nor in any way surprising.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:09, archived)
Bromance

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:29, archived)
I don't know, my memory had given up by then.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:10, archived)
I kissed a bloke and vomited on the jobcentre.
Not necessarily in that order.
(I helped save b3ta! nick the greek, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:12, archived)
ah 1973... a time for comics about horny pilots
www.b3tards.com/u/5d4c552eb78a7f1b7de2/wizju973.jpg

or something.

what was your favourite comic when you were growing up?
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:23, archived)
I didn't really have one.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:24, archived)
Beano. (Though the "Our Willie" and "The Broons" annuals were the best ever).
Then 2000ad.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:24, archived)
I recently made very offensive remarks on here, against the comic book types.
There has since been, no retraction.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:24, archived)
nice ninja

(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:25, archived)
Terrible thread.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:25, archived)
you expected something better?
*puts letter c back in pocket*

you shan't have that anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:26, archived)
I've become confused at your comment.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:33, archived)
I 4chan'd you.
b3ta.belm.co.uk/jmgfault

But deliberately not-quite-right, for extra shitness.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:30, archived)
MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS
Bringing redundancy into punchlines since 2003
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:32, archived)
Really?

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:42, archived)
one day someone will skin msn messenger
so that each new message is a demotivator for the message it is replying to

in fact, now i come to think of it, it would be really easy to do this for b3ta too
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:44, archived)
There'd be rioting if someone did that to /board for a whole day.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 20:07, archived)
Haha!
OH DT!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:32, archived)
Just in
Shock JMG news!
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:36, archived)
Hahaha!
Very good.
He completely deserves it.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:37, archived)
MAD Magazine
Bought my first one in years yesterday. Not as shit as I was expecting.
(I helped save b3ta! setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:25, archived)
sonic the comic
WOO YEAH SONIC THE HEDGEHOGG WOOP WOOP
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:25, archived)
STC!
YEEAAAHHHH!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:40, archived)
Viz

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:25, archived)
Battle
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_Picture_Weekly
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:25, archived)
well, today is the third International Talk Like a Pilot Day.

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:26, archived)

I think Ginger has bought it, he was in tail end Charlie and the ack ack got him.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:30, archived)
WATCH YOUR SIX
*bums*
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:35, archived)
bazooka joe

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:26, archived)
the little ones inside the chewing gum?
or did you mercins get full size comics?
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:28, archived)
no, the ones in the gum

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:35, archived)
We got the Beano and the Dandy,
and the Dandy was mostly rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:30, archived)
its even worse now
since they toned down desperate dan.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:32, archived)
I remember some fuss about him not being allowed to have cow pie anymore,
for some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:42, archived)
WONGA BONGA LAND!
www.flickr.com/photos/31547774@N00/159936289/

Have to cut and paste for some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:42, archived)
oh jiminy,
this is much less explicable than the hundred-year-old story Baldmonkey was so astonished at a few weeks back.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:45, archived)
Im afraid I am not a Baldmonkey chap
so have no idea what that means.
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:46, archived)
A few weeks ago Baldmonkey posted a scan of a Victorian comic story
about two black kids getting themselves into trouble with an ostrich. It used the word "nigger" and described them as "woolly-headed". This sort of thing is par for the course for the 1890s, but I'd have expected better of the 1980s.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:48, archived)
I bought the Beano for a bit...
My gran still buys me an annual for christmas.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:42, archived)
haha
that's sweet
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:43, archived)
Judge Dredd
My whole views on law enforcement were formed on it.

Not enough of us are called Citizen.
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:39, archived)
hahaha he doesn't know how to use the shells
/only watched the movie
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:51, archived)
Please, dont set me off on the movie
HE IS THE LAW!
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:53, archived)
I can see it's shit.
When I leave here, what the HELL will you all do?
How on earth will you cope?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:51, archived)
BALD

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

i2.photobucket.com/albums/y33/rhcpaul/jmgsonline.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:54, archived)
That's the spirit.

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:55, archived)
This is my favourite one so far.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:56, archived)
is that sickboy?

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:11, archived)
No idea.
Didn't make it.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:19, archived)
I think I'll probably have some beer or something.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:52, archived)
Are you about to flounce?

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:54, archived)

img134.imageshack.us/img134/2769/jmgsfaultmcdonalds.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:54, archived)
congratulations.
that's a vital public service you are performing.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:57, archived)
*chuckles*

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:57, archived)
I have seen that already :-((((((((((((

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:58, archived)
There's a selection of 15 or so.
The repeating further annoys the drive-through docile types.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:59, archived)
Which is your favourite so far?

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:00, archived)
I don't know..
Maybe the McDonald's one, there..
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:01, archived)
that's the one you really wish were true

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:03, archived)
Oh there'd be tears for those who can only wear tight denim.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:04, archived)
Righto.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:03, archived)
I saw a drive-thru rent-a-car the other day.
I'm not sure they'd quite understood their market.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:00, archived)
:(
Careful, there.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:01, archived)
I also saw a drive-thru nursery
Presumably for the parents who are too fat to get out of their car and waddle their child to the door.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:03, archived)
OH FAT BRITAIN!
:((((((((
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:05, archived)
Where will you go?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:55, archived)
Elgin.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:59, archived)
Good lord, why?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:01, archived)
I quite like Elgin.
Small town but with plenty of shops, some good restaurants and bars and a cinema/ten pen bowling.

The Indian there is magic.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:07, archived)
This Asher Roth song on Radio 1 might actually be the worst song I've ever heard.
It really is terrible.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:55, archived)
Even worse than Jason Mraz's guitar-slapping and pseudo-scatting babytalk?

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:56, archived)
It's definately worse than any Ace of Base song.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:59, archived)
Worse than End of the Road by Boyz II Men?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:56, archived)
It's like have your ears raped by someone doing a really shit Eminem impression.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:01, archived)
I like it; I am its target market.

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:18, archived)
You can't leave
I enjoy reading the range of replies you get, from loving to loathing.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:56, archived)
There's NO HAPPY MEDIUM.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:02, archived)
nah
it's cos we're all a bunch of retards!
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:04, archived)
I won't cope JMG
I'll just sit staring at the screen and hitting refresh waiting for your return, if I need to wee or eat I'll have to get on my knees and pray to god that you don't return whilst I am away.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:56, archived)
I'll no doubt be out front talking dole with the bigger boys.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:03, archived)
I'll wearing my black bald cap in mourning for a year JMG

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:56, archived)
How do you achieve that effect?
Dipping your head in bitumen?
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:59, archived)
I don't know I'll have my mum sort it out

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:01, archived)
I think I'd manage.
Somehow.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:59, archived)
you're leaving?

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:59, archived)
NOT YET.
I hope I've made this point in time to stop Moohalaa tearfully calling The Samaritans.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:01, archived)
Will it be a flounce?
Or an emotional, down-on-both-knees affair?
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:02, archived)
Moohalaa?
With a limp wrist no doubt.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:04, archived)
Your Mum bought me this book, JMG.
www.amazon.com/How-Live-Huge-Penis-Meditations/dp/1594743061/ref=pd_sbs_a_4
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:01, archived)
She's where I get my excellent grasp of irony from.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:03, archived)
The user feedback...

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 19:07, archived)
Wow

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:03, archived)
The "Frequently Bought Together" section is particularly amusing.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:04, archived)
ha,
that'd make a good if exceptionally gay birtday present.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:12, archived)
WHO WILL BUY THIS WONDERFUL MORNING

(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:44, archived)
It's early evening, you mental spastic.

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:46, archived)
Does it involve waking up next to a girl whose name you don't remember but who must have looked better with a bit of make-up on?
I'll give you a blackjack and a half-sucked chupa chup.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:46, archived)
I bid £40.01 and Dave's head on a platter.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:47, archived)
I will also bid £40

(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 19 May 2009, 18:47, archived)
I'm out.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:48, archived)
Say it like Duncan Bannatyne
IT'S ABSLUTELY REDICLUS. AM OOT.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:50, archived)
I BID £TWELVETY

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:48, archived)
I'll bid tuppence ha'penny

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:48, archived)
You crazy Victorian

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:49, archived)
you could buy a house for that in my day.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:50, archived)

house Stegosaurus
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:51, archived)
good old victorian dinosaurs.
they don't make 'em like they used to.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:51, archived)
It was the best era for dinosaurs
Especially with the top hats. Good show, there.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:53, archived)
a T-rex just isn't properly dressed without one.
that and a monocle.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:54, archived)
Dickhead
You forgot the pocketwatch.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:56, archived)
I'll forget you in a minute.
And where I am.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:58, archived)
IT'S ALRIGHT NAN
THE NURSE'LL BE ROUND LATER WITH YOUR DINNER.

I SAID THE NURSE'LL BE ROUND LATER WITH YOUR DI- oh fuck she's pissed herself again.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 19 May 2009, 19:04, archived)
QUESTION
Would you want to be the father of Chantelle Steadman's child?
(tkitezb seeking images of transvestites shagging cars, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:40, archived)
I've already put my cock in the back flap of my Mr Potatothead
same thing.

Never again.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:41, archived)
In some way, I feel we all are

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:42, archived)
And in a way, isn't that a lot like Jesus?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:45, archived)
I can't stand the silence!!!

I'm going to the pub, anyone gonna join?

also i made a new video www.b3ta.com/links/Juggling_around_the_house
(I helped save b3ta! Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:39, archived)
sickrik must have posted

(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:40, archived)
no, as I don't live near you and it would mean a lengthy journey which would be highly inconvenient to me.

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:40, archived)
Do they allow teenagers in pubs now?

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:45, archived)
18 is teenager.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:47, archived)
never search your own name on here
what the fuck is this all about?
(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:38, archived)
That wasn't there when I posted my reply.
It is quite epic.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

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