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i've got an erection
and an operation booked. God bless BUPA

(don't bother replying to this as it was done for comedic effect)
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

k

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

Do you get more twatty each day?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

Do you get more fatty each day?
Watch Mykey jump in and internet white knight at me here, even though she's got me on lolignore.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:58, archived)

Oh bless, i've really got your back up
Perhaps an hour offline would calm you down?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:59, archived)

Honestly fat lad, you haven't.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

Oh clearly

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

I'd like to point out that on many occasions Team Tubby has said this to me.
I'm on block.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

I wish he'd put me on ignore.
I'd put him on, but unfortunately interesting people have a habit of starting decent subthreads within his sweaty-palmed interwobbles.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

They just can't function
without their daily dose of Vitamin B-lame JMG.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

Haha!
That's top banter, there.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:06, archived)

Trust me, you're not.
He can't do it. Occasionally people have to do it for him when his blood pressure gets too high, but he quickly sneaks back into his profile and takes people off block. He can't bear to miss any possible reference to himself.

It's sad.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:06, archived)

I hope that's not true.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:09, archived)

I'm afraid it is.
He's been pretending to have Badger on block for ages.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:10, archived)

Let's test.
PICKLE FAIRY IS A FAT DULL RETARD.

He should come waddling over to defend her now.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:09, archived)

And admit his egocentricity?

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:10, archived)

He's not that intelligent.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)

Any minute now, he'll pretend to put you on ignore.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:04, archived)

Dekion is ten times more entertaining than half the mouth breathers on here

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:58, archived)

He gets twattier the fattier you get.
So yes, he does get more twatty each day.
(

WHARRGARBL, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:59, archived)

You shall not incur the fatwrath.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:59, archived)

I bet I do

(

WHARRGARBL, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

Nah, he's too busy convincing himself that he's winding me up.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

Do you need a shoulder to cry on?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

I think I might need therapy for this one, Esme.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

I know a guy.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:04, archived)

Oh, that's right. I'm fat
Thanks for reminding me - I nearly forgot.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

It's okay, I'm like an alarm for fat.

(

WHARRGARBL, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

bingo
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:01, archived)

The kids are easy to wind up tonight mongy

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

I'm going to be out that weekend Mongy.
Actually, Reece has got a fishing trip planned with school - two days (but no bivvying). Anything I should get him? He's not fished for years.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:08, archived)

Comedy GOLD.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

I've got a hernia
and an operation booked. God bless BUPA
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

I'll poke it up you

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

what do you think
caused it
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

Broom stick up the anus

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

God bless torn muscle walls.

(

Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

Your adominal walls are so weak your intestines can escape through them

(

magnum, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)

god bless bingo
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)

I hate you and your crappy bingo
*sadfaces at not being around*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)

Seriously?
8 on a saturday and people are going to be on here?
I know us lot are supposed to have no lives, but come on.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

does it hurt your eyes staring down on other people from your lofty perch?

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:52, archived)

Not really,
I've invested in binoculars.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)

do you balance them on your beak so you can fly and spy at the same time?
(

vladimir, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

Woo for private healthcare
Which does remind me that I must make an appointment to see the dentist!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)

I've got an appointment in 2 weeks.
Eep!
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)

My dental insurance is ace
I really must make an appointment for a check up at some point
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

if you're a dr why not do it yourself?

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

wrong sort of dr
.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

so what you're saying is that you're a FRAUD

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)

your death means nothing to anyone here

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

ooh
my mate had one of those in his groin, he said it was agony.
(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

A hernia in the groin?
I thoguht they were only in the abdomen
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

*wikis*
fair enough, my mistake.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:52, archived)

no worries
I laughed at him when he told me
(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

almost anywhere you can tear something and poke
tissue through
(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

they do tend to happen less often in the arm

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

I haven't heard of that before, but it does make sense
the impact/strain would have to be hefty
(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

why the fuck would I care about any of this?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:09, archived)

Bugger
missed my b3tabirth by 2 days

Give me Cake or Pie anyway, 14 days away from my 50th Solar Orbit
(

thebear is thebear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:31, archived)

Show me your bumhole please.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

pay the sheckels first

(

thebear is thebear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:33, archived)

you'll get him pregnant

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

Snipped
too many cubs and not enough money
(

thebear is thebear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

then i belive we get to see bumhole

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

Moar bumhoal plox

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)

JEW

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

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(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

having a 'hoody'
I could argue the toss from Merseyside, but can't be bothered

:)
(

thebear is thebear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)

I DEMAND PIE

(

thebear is thebear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

you can have some of this Unexpected Pizza I'm currently wolfing down

(

moohalaa, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

Ooh, unexpected pizza, lovely.
Tastes better than the other sort and has no calories.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

fucking hell it's thebear
any tips on the horses :)
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

2700 up on a £50 stake was unbeatable
Wait for the new season, ground will benefit from rain
(

thebear is thebear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

nice one, bring everyone back here, this place is prissy and for the timid now

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

I have no cake or pie
I do have wine and chocolate that you may have though.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:33, archived)

I have a lovely lindemans here
Mead flavours with a swimming pool undertone
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

I have unopened wine
And I don't want to open it. I think I'm ill.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

Open it you tart

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)

No, so sssh it bitch

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)

DRINK WINE

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)

You can have some of these aniseed balls, if you'd like?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

want to buy a piano?

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

I have missed most of mine
would you like a hug?
(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

yes please
*hugs back*
(

thebear is thebear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

dude, man up

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

if it's any consolation, no one cares

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

i do
so there, fuck chops
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)

you're only caring out of spite

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)

nope, i like the old b3tans, they were not as needy
although i do love bingo

www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

we have to come here now and then
or they cut our balls off
(

thebear is thebear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

I've got a piece of 5 gum with your name written all over it
warm and cool flavour
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

Happy birthday.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

How much would you pay JMG for a "boyfriend experience"?
Please. No fruits.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

I'd p-...
oh.
(

moohalaa, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

*pockets chequebook*
good day sir
(

moohalaa, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

Haha!
You money throwing old Queen!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

HA!
My anti-dockside swiper stance has at long last bore fruit!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

Geordie boyfriend experience?
I don't like getting hit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

You wouldn't get up. Southerner.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)

So, only girls can answer eh?

(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

final fantasy xiv will be another shitty mmo
D:
(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

haha, final fantasy fourteen sounds like some backstreet Thai jailbait video

(

moohalaa, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

great, now i have an erection

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

will there be snuggling?

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

NO TIME FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)

Run away, little north.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

Has this turned into Red Indian banter?
*Listens to the ground*
Nuclear fall out. 200 Miles that way. Koreans.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:31, archived)

welcome back

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:33, archived)

I'd gladly stand you a drink or two.
If you were willing to go further, I (probably) wouldn't object.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

I'VE STILL GOT IT1

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)

Had one.
Don't need another ever again thanks.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)

I'm an officer, and a gentleman.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:29, archived)

The last one was a mackem.
Maybe that was the problem. Other than him being a mad druggie of course.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

A MACKEM, eh?
This accusation of heavy drug use does not shock me.
Stay clear of that banter. A rough person, there.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:33, archived)

Oh JMG.
If only I'd asked you for advice before embarking on that one.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

You had a JMG boyfriend experience?
Oh my.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

Not that either of us noticed.

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

I wouldn't JMG
But this is a good thing as I am happy with my own boyfriend thankyou.

Hypothetically though, no amount would be enough.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:29, archived)

I'm expensive for a reason.
I'm great with in-laws and I once wrestled a great dane.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

That depends on what the "boyfriend experience" involves

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:29, archived)

COPULATION AND SEPERATION. All within the space of three hours.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:31, archived)

I would expect payment
and a meal
(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

Enough of that nonsense
Xmal Deutschland was fronted by the deliciously mental Anja Huwe.

Who would you do from a bygone era?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

Felicity Kendal.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

Audrey Hepburn
Without a doubt
If I had to pick a man it would be Marlon Brando
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

he's so yummy
artfiles.art.com/images/-/Marlon-Brando---A-Streetcar-Named-Desire-Photograph-C12149227.jpeg
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

YUMMIER
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

COR!
Tache's don't usually do it for me but he's different.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

Oh yes.
Phwooooaar
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

phwoar!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

He had wooden teeth
and his breath stank so badly that that's why you get that grimace from Scarlett O Hara when he sucks her face in Gone With The Wind
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

Have you been going back in time and snogging dead stars again ?

(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

You always ruin everything:(((

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

yes, he had halitotis

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)

She looks rather scary
I can't think of anyone I'd do from a bygone era but my tastes in men seem to be ageing faster than I am.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

i'd wear a pocket-watch
and some kind of hat

ed: i read who as what
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

My Fossil watch
has interchangeable straps. I'm tempted to see if they've got a pocket fob thing for it instead.
(

CowJam, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

what is fossil watch?
also i made you this once
www.b3tards.com/u/23925b16ee60d4243068/cowjam.jpg
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Clark Gable.
Oh yes.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

Jesus

(

scott,, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

baldmonkey is right
And I'm in a lot of pain from my hip. I think I've turned old )c:
(

CowJam, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

Myself dressed as a girl.
Assuming the current version of me was located in the future. Or something. I've not really thought this through, have I. And that would probably count as incest anyway. Bollocks.

If my vote hasn't been spoiled I'm going for Debbie Harry circa 1978 and/or Elvis circa 1955.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

Farah Fawcett
twice
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

I would choose Noah's wife from the bible.
I'd adultery her behind Noah's back, so that the whole human race would be descended from my faulty gene stock.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

then you'd be your own
great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather

if they weren't charactors from a popular book
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:18, archived)

I'd also shove my cock in Mary Antoinette's gaping neck wound
and fill her lungs full of cock-batter so that she looks like an overfilled Tunnock's Teacake
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

Kim Novak, actress in the 50's
Or Mary Pickford, Lilian Gish or many of the silent starlets.
Not Clara Bow, though. She leaves me meh.
(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

Brian Keith

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

petra verkaik

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:22, archived)

Master of Turnips has just done a shit.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

CowJam must've posted

(

CowJam, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

what?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

It's a card game.

(

CowJam, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

oh you know I am

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)

META

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

I CAN'T GET MY SPECTACLES CLEAN
MOTHERFUCKER
(

CowJam, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

eight out of ten cats say meow

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)

The others say that your podcast should end.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)

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(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)

these posts make me :(

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)

it is funny! he should keep doing them!
the sound quality is excellent and he shouldn't kill himself because of this lifefailure!
(

moohalaa, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)

whoopsie doodles, I'm playing opposites

(

moohalaa, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)

More people should say whoopsie doodles.

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:50, archived)

Podcast 14 was quite good though.
I think it helps that they lost the first 5 minutes. I wish someone would do that with Chris Moyles' show. Only lose the full 2 hours.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)

Or you could just not listen to it in the first place.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

CRUTCH RAFT.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

You make my mouth look like a bum hole.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:56, archived)

Okay.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)

He told me on MSN.
I was thrilled.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:38, archived)

Nice.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

Gok Wan has just spewed sparkle onto the woman he is dressing badly

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)

or, did the shit do him?
you think about that
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:42, archived)

it's like some sort of backwards ouroboros

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)

my children are called
aurora

and

borealis
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

oh.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:45, archived)

BOOYAH!

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:47, archived)

So, how's that novel you're writing coming along?

(

magnum, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

Oops, I have slightly overfilled the bath:
bath
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:45, archived)

I do that every time I use the jacuzzi bath at my parents
It's the way a good bath should be though.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:46, archived)

The water is up near the top, not just the bubbles.
Splishy Splashy.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)

Oh, you may need to drain it a bit then!
Though the bubbles will stay and it will all be good.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:49, archived)

Thanks, I hadn't thought of draining it.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:52, archived)

It was a comment not a suggestion
No need to be a twat.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:54, archived)

now do one of your legs, all soaped up
:)
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:46, archived)

Eh, no.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:47, archived)

You know you want to.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)

Fantastic! I'd love a long soak.

(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)

I'm waiting for it to cool down.
I always have them too hot and can't stick them for more than a few minutes. I'd love a proper bath with a ledge bit for sitting on.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:52, archived)

I'm going to have a 'giddy bath' as my mum calls it this weekend.
It'll be great.
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)

A giddy bath?
Whut?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)

The water under all that foam may well be at the optimal level.

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:50, archived)

Nope, just at the brim.
There was nearly a bath disaster.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:51, archived)

Was electricity involved?

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)

No, just possible leakage.
Disaster averted, though.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:54, archived)

It's not a real disaster until there's a possibility of death, serious damage or wholesale destruction.
Then again, as I regularly watch and enjoy the news, I am a rather jaded disaster-junkie.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

Any deaf people around?
My friend is after an induction thing for her mobile, and was looking at www.rnid.org.uk/shop/products/mobile_phone_accessories/t-link.htm
She wants to know if it's any good, and if that's a good price?
(

CowJam, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:25, archived)

My friend is after an induction thing for her mobile, and was looking at www.rnid.org.uk/shop/products/mobile_phone_accessories/t-link.htm
She wants to know if it's any good, and if that's a good price?

dubbadubbadub
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

what?

(

CowJam, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:27, archived)

No you can get them for free on
www.sex-panther.com
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

Sorry, could you say that again?

(

CowJam, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:27, archived)

Still not funny.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:28, archived)

If you had to dress up as the opposite sex, what would be your choice of clothes?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

Everyday lesbian.
I wouldn't even need to change my wardrobe.
(

Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

For fuck's sake.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(

mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

OH HAI
HOW ARE YOU
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

GOOD KTHX
I BURNED MYSELF IN THE SUN
HOW ARE YOU
(

mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:15, archived)

this
12 hours in the sun today and I forgot my sun cream.

I normall wear factor 50 as I burn like a silly twat..I am going to hurt tomorrow.
(

moohalaa, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:18, archived)

It's not sunburn unless three layers of skin fall off and leave permanent scaring.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:19, archived)

Sunburn is quite scary, it's true.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:20, archived)

I have the slightly shiney shoulders to show for it.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:21, archived)

I got really badly burned n one side of my face, throat and leg years ago.
The scar on my throat flares up when I get hot. Very annoying.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

Surely neck, rather than throat?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

THERE'S ALWAYS AT LEAST ONE PEDENT
FUCK OFF
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:28, archived)

No, I was actually curious as to whether she managed to get sunburn on her throat.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

FUCK OFF ANYWAY

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)

yeah you are.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)

Badger used to dread this time of year when he worked on the burns unit.
Constant streams of thick Essex girls with burnt tits smelling of bacon can put you right off a fried breakfast.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:24, archived)

I've seen a good few spastics with the arms and shoulders burned off themselves already.
It looks fucking ming, how can they think it looks good.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:25, archived)

Same with people who use sunbeds.
I cannot fucking understand it.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

Wankers.
BURN THEM, BURN THEM ALL!
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:31, archived)

I bet it didn't put him off applying the burn cream.

(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:25, archived)

He's only human.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

god, what do they do,
cover themselves in vegetable oil?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)

Olive oil! Get it right!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:31, archived)

Well I don't know, do I?
I don't do anything so daft.
Mind you, my shoulders are a bit sore after being out in it on Sunday.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)

Poor mooey
*gentle sunburn hugs*
(

mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:22, archived)

Oh you nobber.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:22, archived)

Bath with vinegar in, STAT.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

shower with FIVE different bodyshop mango products, thankyou very much
it's like having a bath in tropical fruit, while nubian slaveboys caress you with palm fans

or something
(

moohalaa, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

Vinegar will take the sting out, seriously.
Cold wet towels, also.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)

Fine, not sunburned:)
I am an unemployed now.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:18, archived)

GET A JOB DOLESCUM

(

mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:22, archived)

FUCK OFF

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

Jeans and a t-shirt.
NEXT!
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

I've done it.
I wore a lovely blue dress with yellow fish on it. I was rather dashing.

£2 from a charity shop.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

Jeans and a t shirt I suppose
And a nice bra
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

Naked

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

I went in drag to Rocky Horror
My girlfriend liked the leather skirt, but the control-top stocking were too constricting.
(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

jeans, oxford shirt, tie and suit jacket
some sort of spiffy hat...probably a fedora
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

Nice
But if I were to do that, I wouldn't be able to resist a trilby
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

nice
or perhaps a news boy...
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

Ooh

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

guys should dress like this more

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

No they shouldn't
They look like tossers if they do.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:16, archived)

I happened to read the Wikipedia entry on Fedoras the other day,
and it says that they were originally a women's fashion. Well there you go.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

Women's fedoras are gorgeous.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

I'd dress as a monk,
and see if I got chucked out of Mancunian shopping centres for being a hoodie.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

Probably basketball shorts
Screw it; full basketball outfit.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

If I were a boy...I suppose I'd roll out of bed in the morning and wear what I wanted.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

That's a stupid song.
I do like Halo though. *sads*
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

I *heart* Bey.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

Did you see the video in the newsletter a few weeks ago, it was her doing the dance routine for All the Single Ladies with no backing track.
It was mad.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

She calls herself Bey now?
Oh dear.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

She's called herself that for years, as has her husband, her family, her friends and her fans.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

~~wanted~~ wore yesterday
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

I do this
I'm such a lesbian.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

Do lesbians have poor standards of personal hygiene?

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

No, and it's unfair to use the term lesbian
I also don't understand how it's bad personal hygeine either, but I'm not too sweaty.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Neither am I.
It's not about sweat, it's about cooking smells, general dirt in the air, all the muck...

I'll put a t-shirt on if I've only worn it for a couple of hours, but I'd never wear the same clothes to work two days running. Ick.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:19, archived)

You don't already do that?
Or have I missed sarcasm?

EDIT: Oh there we go, a song.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

I'm wearing shorts and t-shirt at the moment
I think that counts. Girls dress as boys all the time.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

I saw lots of topless men on Turnham Green today
I love the summer.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

When you reach a certain level of fat, the difference becomes negligible.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

I'd just dress like a girl wearing men's clothing.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

One with a cock?

(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:12, archived)

No Druid. No cocks.
No JPEGs either.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:13, archived)

Arghhh, the fucking rabbit has chewed through my iPod cable.
I AM NOT AMUSED.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:14, archived)

i'd probably be a hippy chick with great tits

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:15, archived)

DEKION!
Hello!

I tried to bring up the terrible issue of Gan corruption earlier, but it fell on DEAF EARS.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:16, archived)

Oh Zeist, I meant to gaz you about that.
Yes, the whole Gan thing is getting out of control.

I PM'd KD about the neutral result.

I'll probably have to look into the whole micron thing.
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:18, archived)

farm3.static.flickr.com/2151/3546574472_0b90a583d4_o.jpg
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 20:41, archived)

I watched 2001: A Space Odyssey last night.
I'm quite glad they got their predictions wrong. 5 minutes of no sound or vision, 10 minutes of swirly colours and 45 minutes of model spaceships spinning to Blue Danube isn't how I spent my time in 2001. It'd be better described as 1965: A Spinning Camera Trip featuring Women With Bags on their Swedes'

What do you hope for in Futureworld? Or Future/Talk, if you're not going to leave the house.
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)

What about the other 14 hours of the film?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

Oh yeah, he spent it arguing with a computer that nobody had thought to put a manual override switch on.
Fuckwits.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)

I liked that bit. I also liked the way
it portayed space during the spacewalk. I liked Hal too.
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

That was a really good concept and well acted story, culminating in a deliberately
unclear and unexplained ending (as it apparently misses out a lot from the book, just to confuse you) and more spinning ships.
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

It was all a bit shit, really.
Let's be honest.
I've never been able to watch it all in one go because it's just so bloody tedious.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

Put it this way. With an old video of it and a pair of scissors, you could
make a really good 45 minute film.
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

I think it's brilliant.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:54, archived)

You're really dull though.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

You're just not clever enough.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

That's a lie.
I just have taste.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)

The film smells strongly of the Emperor's New Clothes in parts.

(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

This is the least surprising post I'll see here all week.

(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

the film wasn't of the book,
in fact both the book and the film were made in parallel, so neither one is more "correct". But the book obviously does have more detail in it.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:54, archived)

Flying cars

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

Clampers will be fucked.
This is a good idea.
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)

I'd hope the future would be like
this
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

I hope that the future has less you.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

More Druid!

(

mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

~~Druid~~ Cuffbert
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

ff nt
(

mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

Oh my.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:53, archived)

hopefully cures for cancer, aids, and all those other nasty diseases

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

Ooh, careful... The BNP won't like that at ALL.

(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:53, archived)

not having to take two bottles to the shower

(

scott,, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:53, archived)

I see what you did there.
I actually would like to see hair growth pills. It'd be cracking to be able to change your hair length quickly both ways.
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

Drink the scotch without the tonic?
Lofty goal, there, man.
(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

BABIES.
Actually I am hoping for a nice new house with a large garden, big kitchen and plenty of lovely space for friends to stay in.

Then babies.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:54, archived)

I have a baby that you can have.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

He'll sleep soon enough.
Enjoy this whilst it lasts. They grow up too fast.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

I can start her off with some teens to break her in

(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)

job job job job
and potato salad.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)

Wealth and riches and everybody loving me.
Or else.
(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

A nice part time job, to escape Northampton, and to have a place where we can have pets.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

A while ago, Gilgamess made a poll to find the shittest /talk b3tan.
Natuarally it got abused by me.

If there were a poll for BEST /talk b3tan, who would come out on top? (Assuming I didn't mess it up)
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)

Depends,
I think Glued Eel and Dr Preference are both consistantly good.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

Donkey Gums makes me laugh more than most.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

I like him too,
but I've met him and I've discounted people I've met because that's a bit bashlolomg friends.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

I think that Rob would vote for GMoS, as seen here:
www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/roblovesgmos.jpg [nsfw]
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

what the fuck?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

That actually looks like Reid.
But a bit older, with male genitals.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

he didn't need to put an o
he could have just stretched a bit
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)

I clicked that with somebody else in the room.
They didn't notice. Phew.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)

:-D

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)

I don't know how its not on the popular page yet. This needs to be seen by everyone. THIS IS BREAKING NEWS.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

Oh, it is. Cheers for the validation chaps.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)

I don't like competitions :(

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

It's not, it's a poll. An imaginary one too.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

the difference is fairly subtle

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

But you admit to a difference, and your post above is a sufficient answer anyway.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

only just

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

I enjoy the insightful and witty posts by Nike Trainers

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

you see how I was nice to you up there?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

the envelope will be at the drop

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

I could have mentioned attractive girls
to get bonus points.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

I'll stuff the envelope with tits if you do

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)

Oh for sure.
Shame they only post at 27:00 or later :-/
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

I vote Wicca.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

Was it CHB that called you wicca lite?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

pffft
*sprays beer on monitor*
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

I think so.
I'll consider it a compliment I think, it's like saying your Super Size Jesus or something.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

he's a very witty man that chb

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)

Everyone is "lite" compared to wicca.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)

MoT: first to bring HATE into the thread about LOVE.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

Apart from Mykey.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)

I vote you.
You and Mrs HB.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)

i don't care as long as it's not you

(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

I love you.
~~love~~want to kill
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)

this one
(

scott,, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:12, archived)

oh Scott, you big silly!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

he's the perfect b3tan:
cool name, and he knows when to keep his mouth shut.
(

scott,, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)

Glued Eel by a country mile.

(

FoldsFive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)

Gods yes.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

are you kidding?
he's the worst. he keeps disrupting the serious food discussion with jokes.
(

scott,, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:44, archived)

I'm a man keen to appeal to b3ta's oppressed minorities.
So, just for the lardy element, THIS

/edit - marscapone?.

Fuck's sake.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

Azra3l Googles "parfuss snow":
www.b3ta.com/talk/2885885
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

I don't get it.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

This ^

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

More Jimz is needed.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6178998
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:23, archived)

GET IN!

(

BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)

This lot fail to understand the ongoing corruption of Gan :-(

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)

Dear oh dear
What a terrible waste.
On that note ttfn all
(

BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:31, archived)

NIGHT!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

Here:
www.b3ta.com/talk/2732733
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

what... the... fuck...

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)

Dobsky stopped posting a few days later.
He's back now, but only very occassionally.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)

More!
www.b3ta.com/talk/2732698
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)

I love him!

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

I don't care what the fat contingent think
Dekion's mentalness amuses me no end
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)

me too
i think people just have the wrong idea about him
(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)

They need someone to hate.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:46, archived)

it should be you dave
if that is your real name
(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:46, archived)

NO U!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)

why would anyone hate me?

(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)

Why not?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

I heard you throw washers at children

children with cancer
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)

What a bastard!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)

I heard he told a couple with a child about a really cool bouncy castle at beachy head

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)

OH! You see everyone?
well is an absolute cunt, and should be HATED.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

aww you guys :D
i'm bookmarking this thread
(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

Show it to rose.
She will agree with us. I BET on it.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

because you don't own a tv

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)

Hurrah!
More Spacefish!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:45, archived)

:D

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

probably got addicted to those recent episodes of parfuss
it's been quite exciting
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)

Oh glued eel, you reliable old bastard.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:28, archived)

I'm highly reliable
I just got in from picking your kids up from the pool
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:30, archived)

Picking them up?
You were supposed to drop them off, you disgusting man!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:31, archived)

Eew

(

broadsword, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

There's nothing to get
just a retard lactating his ramblings.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:17, archived)

upset :-(
www.b3ta.com/talk/2732762
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)

Ahh, Dekion is having a spaz.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:23, archived)

~~having~~
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)

what cheese is used to hide horses?
MARSCAPONE!!!
(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

you horrid, horrid man

(

ArthurTheRat, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

GET YOUR REVISION DONE NOW YOUNG MAN.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

Don't do it!
if you do badly it might* be enough to get my pile of shit slightly higher graded.

*won't
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)

I'm probably not even doing the same subjects as you.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)

French, Italian, Economics.

(

ArthurTheRat, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)

DON'T DO REVISION! BECOME A FONZ INSTEAD AND IMPRESS GIRLS LIKE ME!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)

It's amazing how many girls think you are pretty.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:24, archived)

DO REVISION, GIRLS ONLY WANT TO STEAL YOUR EYES WHILE YOU SLEEP

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

lololol

(

broadsword, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

fuck minorities
fucking minority cunt bastards, fuck the lot of them
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

*blows shit bubbles at you*

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:30, archived)

My first name gets Red Leicester, but my full name gets Boursin.

(

ArthurTheRat, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

Cheddar gets stilton.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

i'm semi-hard

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

^this

(

broadsword, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

All of my cheeses are soft and bland
Do they know me or what?
(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

It thinks I'm Babybell [sic].
Joke about having a small penis goes here.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

That can't be right...
There's no chance you'd run away from a bloke chasing you in a park...

;)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

St Agur

touch my blue bits
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

*mooshes your eyeballs softly*
oooooooooooooooo
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)

you'll be able to smell your fingers to remind yourself of me for hours

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:20, archived)

St Agur FIVES!
CHEESEPLOSION!
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)

feta
which is what I'm having for dinner. Should I feel worried or reassured?
(nugchuts, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)

Camembert

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)

very nice lightly fried
a lovely soft centre fried cam.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

Oh yes I feel I must declare
that I am fond of fried camembert
breaded & bunged in a pan they're
fucking ace them fried camembert
(

broadsword, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)

Needs to be sung by Dame Vera

(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)

Halloumi is aso rather ace when fried.
Fucking expensive, mind.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:42, archived)

Almost everything
is good when fried. Hurray for frying!
(nugchuts, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)

Even ice-cream?

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

gouda

(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:28, archived)

Stinking Bishop
how queer...
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)

King river gold
And Meira for the username.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)

Feta
I count that as a win
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)

Who'd you like to see front JMGTV's prime time chat show?
Who's our Jonathon Ross?
Important, fictional decisions on the internet.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

I could do it,
I'm wearing a suit today and everything.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

donkey gums
with friz as the house band
(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

FUCK OFF.
FUCKING ME.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

FAILOVISION :-(

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

DAAAAAAVE
i nominated you
(

BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)

um, what for?
edit: just saw.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)

to be /talk's Jonathon Ross
only not shit
(

BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

I might have to pass it up to allow the very talented Parfuss Snow to take charge.
He's a brilliant host.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

Damn
we should get Rathen in too. UPSET EVERYONE lol!!11
(

BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

why would donkey gums be fucking you?

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

It would be like me trying to escape a sticky duvet.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

JMG, peace be upon him.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

hallelujah

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

JMG hu'akbar! *fires gun in air*

(

moohalaa, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

You know, that's not a shabby idea
Maybe someone should interview all the less dull b3tans, and record it for all to hear.
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

Gotta be someone with CHARISMA, which limits it to about 3 b3tans.

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

Who shall I interview first?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

I don't know
but I think it should lead up to the inevitable climax - interviewing JMG
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

Me you could make jokes about my age.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

An excellent place to start.
I'll organise the tech so that we can record it.
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

You can be my epic producer, like a double team of coolness.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

Does that mean I can put in the comedy sound effects?

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

shhh! don't give it all away! course.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

So, Roarrreeeeee...How does i feel to be the first 25 year old to be offered retirement...JUST because of your looks? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Don't answer yet, we'll be right back after this mander break *gets fanny gushed on*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

This will be awesome!

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

I only respond to pre approved questions
through lawyers.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

are you ok with me getting gushed on?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

I'll try to contain my jealous rage.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

by wanking furiously?

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

I'm not much for wanking in public Mathew,
I think that may go some way to explaining your reputation.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

I can't help it if my hands accidentally brush my massive lob-on

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

I brushed it by accident too...
and then I put it in.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)

and on that bombshell
I think I should head home.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)

Oh shit, you're right.
HOME TIME!
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)

WHAPPLE time

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

~~lawyers~~ hand puppets
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

Mike Neville

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

Man pet!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

I think that Bud should front it.
His no-prisoners approach to interviewing wold bring in a viewing public raised on 'bear-pit' TV.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

I'd like to see him take some popular celebrities by force.
Plus, the letters sent in to "Points of View Like" should be interesting.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

'Dear JMGTV..
'why oh why oh why did you let Bud **** down ********'s *******?
I bet Badger put him up to it by passing on **********'s *********.
Yours,
U.P. SETT
Abdereenshire'.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

Dear JMG
FUCK ME IN MY SPASTIC COLON.
Yours,
Deborah Harry
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

NOT THIS AGAIN!
:((((((((((((((((((((
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

I've got a voice like liquid velvet
and a visible jawline.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

I nominate DAVE TROUSER!

(

BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

OH NOW I SEE

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)

I'd have to be in character, as Mr Jimz.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

Oh yes
with Dekion as your stand in
(

BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)

goodnight
and in case i don't see you, get fucked
(riedacher_bertram, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

I try all day to be nice here
and this is the thanks I get?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

Night night :)
Have fun getting spunked in the eye and getting kicked in the shin by your dad and then charging around your house like an angry pirate afterwards.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

DUCK
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:28, archived)

FORG!!!1!!!!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

You never hear of people "bonking" anymore, do you?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

I did after my birthday party
I had to bang the wall.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

That must have looked interesting.

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

you should see the stains

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

BERK!
Where's my breakfast?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

I'm going to assume that this means you and baldmonkey are having a sexual relationship.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

Oh globbits.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

You do
but only when they've cycled about 50 miles and not taken in enough nutrient.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

Why aren't you funny anymore baldmonkey?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

M E D I C A T I O N

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

You should address this in your next audio shit.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

This is exactly what I'm talking about you silly spastic mental.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

HAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


     hahhahahahahahaahh
    h                  a
    h   a         h    a
    h  h           a   a
    h a  a        a h  a
    h                  a
    h    ahahahahah    a
    h   h          a   a
    h                  a
     hahahahaahahahahah

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

I got stepped for doing that, at 3am.
I demand an INVESTIGATION.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

I AM! LOL SEE HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA VALIDATE ME HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA*VALIDATES*
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

I'VE FINISHED MY DEGREEEEEEEEEEEE.
Show me some love.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

Show us some tits then

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

*high fives*
well done!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

FUCK A KNITTING NEEDLE.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

well done
now go get drunk.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

*Chesty handshakes*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

well done!
have some celebratory fireworks
(

vladimir, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

That's because you've got your fingers in your ears when your wife is next to you, getting bonked by the dog

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

you know he's going to go kill a dog now,
are you happy now?
edit: I hope it's a pug
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

He'll think he's killing a pug, but it will probably be an alsation.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

or a fire engine

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

You never hear people call their penis a "dong" any more do you ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)

One of my friends does,
he thinks he lives in a carry on film though.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:24, archived)

Does he dress up as a woman and get into scrapes
then end up in bed with an 18 year old girl despite being 50 with a face like a pickled walnut ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)

in other words, does he post on QOTW?
(

vladimir, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

He childish charm seems to only work on late teens,
but he's only 22,

He also says things like "thats what she said" and "hello gays... sorry I mean guys" and "stop... hammer time" whenever he sees or anyone mentions a hammer
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

Is he Dave the Hat ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

nope he doesn't even have an account.
shocking I know.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

He sounds like he's direly in need of a kicking.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

He doesn't take himself seriously and can take people taking the piss out of him,
So he's ok in small doses.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

Schlong's dying out too.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)

Wang

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

And "Cornhole".

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

Rusty sherrifs badge

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

I call it 'The Pleasure Twig'

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

I call it
the magnificent maggot of mummy mashing
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

If I wore sandpaper pants then you would hear the sound of a match striking whenever I got an errection.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

I would like to think that the sound of that would be represented in a strip cartoon entitled "DG's Sandpaper Pants" as *sccrrriii-iiit*
(

vladimir, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

I KNEW you'd posted this
before I'd seen who posted it.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

I never start new threads.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

PUFF!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

Let's all riot.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

*smashes someones face in for wearing a scarf in June*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

I'd like to get a few of you people in headlocks.
Whilst doing kung-fu on some of the others.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

Yiz cannat get ays in a headlock HOW MAN
I am that bastard hard I would brek yiz fucken dole and that.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

YOU FACKIN SLAAAAAAAAAAAAHG!
Erm.. YOU SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHG!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)

SHAT TIT YEW FAHKIN KHAAAAAAAANT
DO YOU WONT ME TER GIT ME FAHKIN SHOOOTER AHT ? IS THAT WHATCHEW WANT SUNSHINE ? COZ I FAHKIN WILL IF YOU DONT STOP GIVIN IT ALL THAT ! *makes teapot shape*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)

and you have manly, muscular thighs
on which sit a mightily impressive member.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

I might take you off my friend list
because the friend list thing just says

baldmonkey posted on the talk board
baldmonkey posted on the talk board
baldmonkey posted on the talk board
baldmonkey posted on the talk board
baldmonkey posted on the talk board
baldmonkey posted on the talk board

it's shit anyway.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

"baldmonkey kicked a tramp"
"baldmonkey did a wee"
"baldmonkey changed his underwear"
"baldmonkey fell asleep"
"baldmonkey is crying"
"baldmonkey accidentally broke a toaster"
"baldmonkey is rocking gently back and forth and thinking about Little House on the Prairie"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

I only use it too see who bothers clicking on any post of mine that makes the popular page,
no one really does.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)

YOU CAD SIR !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)

I know,
such an egotist.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

Yeah.
I emptied mine apart from two people for the same reason.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

you've got dogarms

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

JMG gets his DOLE delivered by GAZ
Tell me a lie Talk ! Prove you can do it better than QOTW !!!!
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

Jon Pertwee played mandolin on 'Strawberry Fields Forever'.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

He also played Sugar Kane in Some Like it Hot
(

vladimir, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

JMG's head is so shiny that magpies try and steal him

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

My dad is in the IRA and he'll bomb YOUR MUM

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

In a HONDA ACCORD

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

The IRA are actually all Leopards who were taught to talk and walk upright by Shane MacGowan in 1962

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

By dad is Muhammed Ali and he's double hard and he'll get your dad in the boxing ring and be all like "WHERE AM I? I WANT PUDDING."

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

YEAH but my dad is THE IRON MAN and he'll just stand on your dad and squash him everywhere

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

My dad is Jesus
he'll feed your dad bread and fish until he FUCKING ASPLODES !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

but my dad is MUHAMMED ALI!
Dance like a butterfly forget like a goldfish
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

Dance like an eppileptic
shake like a wet dog
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

You've seen me at the discoteque then

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

he said 'shake' not 'shag'

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

actually I think I do shag like a wet dog...hmmmm

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

Saves on lube

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)

I was an army medic.

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

That's nothing
I was in the shit in Afghanistan and then I walked to the south pole.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

Did you need a visa for that?

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

Evrywon luvs mii

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

I am Simon Pegg

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

nah nah nah nah nah,
nah nah,
nah
nah
nah.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

Alright then
I'm actually James Corden
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

Phwoar.
Run or change the lie.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

*jiggles belly suggestively*
*flaunts complete lack of talent on national TV*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

I can't help it. The boy would be thin once I'd finished with him.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

Would you fuck some talent and humility into him ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

I haven't got a nozzle, you'd have to do that bit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

I don't want an ice cream.
Not at all.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

I'll "ice cream" you in a minute my lad !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

This is Moohalaa's business card
Right here
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

I thought it was this...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

hahaha

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:14, archived)

I'm resigning tomorrow because my skill set will be clearly recognised by any new employers
so I won't have a problem getting a new job.
(

magnum, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

Newspaper Delivery is pretty much universal.
;D
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:14, archived)

It would be more enjoyable than this

(

magnum, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

DOG GROOMING?!?!?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

I'm actually quite nice really
who doesn't fly off the handle at any given time of day. I'm also quiet, tidy and lady like.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

Really ?
I heard you take it up the wrong un off dogs ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

Ok that's just too big a lie!
I've never seen 24 hours go by where I haven't seen a facebook update saying "RAAAAAR TARA ANGRY!!! TARA SMASH!"
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

As I'm on nights this week - Afternoon poo.
Quantity slighly disappointing, but good consistency considering last night's beer.

7/10
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

Steely dan are on the radio
and I'm going commando today.

8/10

Would be higher but I have a cunt of a toothache.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

I *heart* Steely Dan

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

I went to see them about 7 years ago
They were very good, but that Fagan cunt is very drooly.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

Me and your missus were talking ALL about you on Saturday night, I know ALL about you :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

It would be more interesting
if you'd shagged her.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

She punched me in the gut. I like to think that means that we've practicially been married for 12 years

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

She was probably aiming for your helmet
I know I would have been.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

If you punched my helmet it would have blorped about like a netball stuck in the gutters at school
You probably would cry afterwards, due to my helmetmight.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

You underestimate my helmet-wrangling experience young man

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

HELMET-OFF!
*charges with soft-on*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

My phone has just started screwing up
:(

*goes off to research new ones*
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

Nice binding there.
Right. I'm off to Dunsfold Park in Surrey. Behave you lot.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

*turns music up and raids your drinks cabinet as soon as you're gone*
*orders pizza, spews up and passes out in your bed*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

Wanked myself off with the cheeks of my arse
7/10
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia
Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia Hello my name is Julia

8/10
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

*panders*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

PHWOAR

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

whinge student essay whinge someone help me whinge
3/10
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

*panders*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

I AM IMMUNE
unless you *really* like my shoes
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

I hate your shoes
but you still like me.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

Dude, I don't like you

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

If you wear them on your tits or fanny I would LOVE them

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

The thalidomide necessitates it

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

Fucking dumbass twatty colleagues who hum, munch, chew and cunt their way through the day
4/10
(

magnum, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

Are you a cattle farmer ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

Has anyone been to court as a witness?
They asked me if I had any holidays booked in the next six months which I haven't.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

Looks like you have no excuse to get out of it
Have fun :)
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

I heard you get lunch paid for so I might go for it

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Nope. I've done jury service though.
It was fairly boring, apart from when someone who was in his early 30s thought I, the 21 year old Captain as I was at the time, was older than him.

Weirdo.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

DG thinks I'm older than him
but I think he's a bit simple
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

When you look like that though, it doesn't really matter.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

Did you sentence them to a good flogging?

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

Jehovas ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

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