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Can we get back to JMG Fashion?
Today I'm in combat shorts and a Mr Men t-shirt.
I'm at the office XBox. This is DG's fault, as he made me remember about the FNR4 demo.

Another insight.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

you wear shorts to work?
are you some sort of hippy?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

Probably.
I'm incredibly high up here.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

JMG is on drugs!

(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I am wearing shorts at work too

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

Silly Chompy.
It's a well established Internet Fact that JMG doesn't work.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

I'm so much dole I own a dole house or something.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

I thought ym owned your dole house

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

I've gotten my internet facts COMPLETELY confused here, this is the case.
I also have to ask her permission to call Moohalaa, and Brighton probably.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

Don't forget to take Esme with you when you run off to Brighton to hack Moohalaa's computer.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

I have made an error of similar proportions to your SMART test the other night.
Three hours ago, I set off a "Consolidate" defrag on almost 1TB of data.

IDIOT.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

I was with you right to 'error'.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

SMART didn't quite take 3 hours, mind.
It estimated 96 minutes when it started, which I think was about right, so I did get to bed, in the end. No errors. Woo.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Mine's still going :-(

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

At least it's not bed time yet.
In other news, the Akasa EVO 120 is a rather snazzy CPU cooler, although it is a bit of a bastard to fit.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

I really should sort out liquid cooling.
I have to watch what I do in this heat. Unless I turn all the fans up to full, but that makes a terrible din.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

I'm wearing shorts at work
and I've not even shaved recently
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

I played the Red Faction:Guerilla demo yesterday.
It's rather fun.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

I also quite want Prototype next week.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

FREE WORMULUS
*banner*
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

For every reader?
I'd put mine to work in the gardens.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Mine refused to take its scarf off indoors, so I had it neutered.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

I love him but he already gets too much attention on here, plus I ain't no bitch, I need my own fan club.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

What do we get if we join?

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

a hug and a kiss.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

Ooh!
That's better than a badge :)
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

if you sign up for the VIP Club I usual do it on the fanny too.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

I'll sign up in biro
when I'm next drunk.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

*starts gobbling at chest hair*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

How does one cuddle a vulva?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

your get one hand up inside it
and the other round the back cupping the buttocks and put your cheek on the fuzzy bit at the front.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Awwwww, apart from the pain that sounds quite sweet.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

It involves pinching with the finger and thumbs and smooshing

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

Goodness me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

I for one would like a weekly newsletter detailing what you've had for tea and things you've found down the sofa.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

I found a pug down my sofa and I had lint for my tea.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

*adds to scrapbook*

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

*Waves the pink flag of DG*

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

WOOOOOOO. oi. Why fucking pink?!?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

Cos that's how he likes 'em.

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

It's the only colour fabric I could get at such short notice

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

Oh god.
He made a flag from his pants.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Pink with a brown center spot :C#

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

IT'S ALL I COULD FIND
Surely points for effort?
I'll make a proper one this weekend and hang it up for all to see at my flatwarming.
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Flatwarming?
FLATWARMING?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Are you trying to bag an invite?

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

YES

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

I am wearing a t-shirt with a monkey milking a cow
It says 'The Monkey Represents Sharing'

I'm dressed like a real boy
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

I applaud this secret hate message.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Mine is a yellow one with a nike swoosh made out of little adidas 'flowers'

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

i played the infamous demo
i was underwhelmed
(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

suit trousers and a little turquoise knitted sort of peasanty top thing.
It's much nicer than it sounds.

Oh, and cowboy boots. *win*
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

*Standing ovation at the end*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Thank you very much.
Cowboy boots I fixed on my own. Fuck you, strangely agressive Polish cobbler.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

Can you fix my combat boots?
The local shoe repair place said no chance :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

Can they be fixed with superglue?
If so, yes.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

Unfortunately not then :(
I tried superglue and araldite, both lasted less than 5 minutes when I was running through the Mansfield woodlands
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

Nails and araldite fix ANYTHING.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

Nailing the shoe sole to my foot would be painful though

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

Only for a while.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Removing them might be problematic

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

Who said anything about removing?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Oh ok
I should have added it to the specification.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

What you need is shoe goo
www.amazon.co.uk/Shoe-Goo-Original-Formula/dp/B0010YTLUU.
(

M o D, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

I've got a new Berghaus bag
and next week I'm buying some linen.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

You've been TAMED by that terrible harridan

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

they might be camouflage linen

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

I don't think there is any footage of the whole fight.
Sorry, I had a good look. For at least 30 seconds.

www.metacafe.com/watch/2902953/ostrich_vs_elephant/
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

Combat shorts in the leg wear of THE KINGS.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

I have plenty pockets for ladies' numbers.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

I never ask for a lady's number. I just tell them not to worry as I'll find it out when I go through thier bins later on.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

My best smock.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

Lack of hat and cape, JMG.
FOR SHAME
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

I'm in danger of being seen as a witch.
Plus. It's summer!
Air to the groin and all that.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

I'm wearing a black suit and a pencil moustache
just like Vincent Price.

/Zombina
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

YES.
I'm gonna get a man to stick a knife in my face.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

ZOMBINA FTW
I'd like to see them live.
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Toady I'm rocking a white shirt with red pinstripes,
grey cargo shorts, red flip flops, ray ban aviators and a spiffing straw hat.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Fight Night Round 4 is going to make me buy an x-box

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

Haha what are you gossips like :)
Wormulus is fine, please stop gazzing me now. I was only being silly, for fuck sake :D When have I ever posted anything serious?!?

He's just busy at work, that's all :)

What are you looking forward to within the next 6 months?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

I was going to visit him in jail.
I was looking forward to that.
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

jus mee nowh :(

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

Glastonbury,
Maybe going to florida at the end of the year.

fuck you man fuck you. I was almost worried about seb, almost.

(How many gazes did you get?)
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

'bout 20 :)
Yeah I know. I was asked to keep it going for ages by him but I can't be fucked as I felt a bit bad :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

oh seb, how he loves the attention.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

I'd laugh if this gets him banned again.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

he doesn't need any more reason to moan

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

But he'd be moaning OFFLINE

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

doh!
you scamp :)

I'm going on holiday TWICE! Living the high life baby yeah!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

You gave him the gift of online validation,
I bet you give the best presents DG.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

OH FUCK HE'S IN PRISON?
I didn't believe you before but now you're trying to cover it up it must be in true

GET OUT OF JAIL SOON CAPTAIN WORMULUS
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

Just what he needs, more online attention.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

feenish mah eckzims
hupfally git ah real jub
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

Now you just sound South African

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

Yeh, stop it now...

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

eyz gun kip dunin eet

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

The wind will change and you'll be stuck

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

k

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

oi thurt jordy
kips chanchin
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

Bou?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

Today is my birthday
I'm looking forward to the present time.

I bought myself a saddle and some clogs
(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

Happy birthday

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

You has a horsey?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

YEEEEEY
Take That next Wednesday, then Oasis in July, a friend's hen weekend in September, The Cribs in October, my friend's wedding on hallowe'en, a-ha in November. That's about all I can think of right now.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

Half a year!
So many things

New experiences and adventures
Completion of my custom bushcraft knife
Learning new skills
Honing old skills
Meeting new friends
Catching up with old friends

also

I'M GETTING A SEXBOXTHREEEEESIXTY SOON!
(

M o D, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Sadly it's true, I just texted him
He's just busy
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Apparently this is the day he spends dressing up as Thomas The Tank Engine for TFS
And letting him ride him around the office whilst TFS sticks pins into his groin.

/Allegedly
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

They wanted me to be the fat controller but i couldnt make it:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

I miss Wormulus terribly
but hey-ho, it's time to move on. Who shall we elect to replace him in his role on /talk?

Alternatively, how shall we celebrate the return of Gonzo to our shores tomorrow?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

bummings
for both.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

Yay!
Are you offering your services there, Spangy?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

of course
what with my massive knob.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

I knew it was there somewhere.

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

IMPORTANT
img195.imageshack.us/img195/9927/ostrichvselephant.gif
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

No way, I wanted to see how that ended...

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

Guuu eleyfant!

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

Lets have a bbq

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

bi speling fings foneticul lee

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

Spelling bee?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

Seb is in custody atm :(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

Does he want some crumbly with it?
/dad joke
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

You what?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

He's a mate and I won't say anymore.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

Tell me, then I'll tell everyone.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

He just texted me to say his home computer's been seized by the police

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

Fucking hell.
I hope he's ok.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Guesses, then, folks. Wormulus has committed the crime of:
I'm going to go for 'mincing with intent'.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

Wearing a scarf indoors.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

Being shitter tham MoT?

(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Tham?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Bam

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

Thank you ma'am

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

That's not a crime, that's a life sentence.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Crimes against humanity

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Gettng his cock out on a WEDNESDAY

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

Excessive use of meme.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

I hope INTERNETLAWYERMAN is with him.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

The things people will speculate might be worse than the truth
it's time to come clean
(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

He's bananas that guy
Edit: I'm sceptical, but if he is in trouble let him know that I will help in any way I can. Which is pretty much none but the offer's open.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

Serious?

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

eek, I hope he's ok
:(
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

Oh man, I wanted to make a pudding joke but it's all been done already

(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

gay pride parade

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

is he gone?
/slow
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

kno

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

No elections, /talk isn't a democracy! It's an oligarchy!
And Gonzo will be greeted by the evening showing of a new program called 'The Oaks of Holly' and a mass eating of Chinese food.
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

Let's all spell every word wrong to make him fell good.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

Aisle starht noh.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

I read that in a Norn Oirish accent.
I couldn't help it.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

Et dus kinder luk thart whey.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

I like this ideer

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

NU
Eet haz two bee efery werd.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

Ashually
Thes wil juiced starto anoy efrey won.
Meh.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

Oe eye sea
its difekult
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Yur knot rong thair

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

paw goz
muhst tek hime ajis two poest
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

Who shall we elect to create shit memes
and look down their nose at all and sundry? Dunno. Take your pick.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

The average post quality has doubled

(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Yu

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

I vote nobody,
and count ourselves lucky it has ended.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

I simply don't have the time.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

Right. As I can't really leave the site, I'm having to soak up the sun in the car-park.
This is less than adequate, so I need to turn my little area into a tropical paradise/deck of an expensive yatch/poolside/other.
I've eaten my fruit salad, so I'm lacking in raw materials to make it happen; all I'm left with is my enthusiastic smile and hairy chest. What can be done?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

Spit on a leaf, then put your feet on it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

I've updated my FAN CLUB PAGE.
This IS related!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Jammy, as a keen Sexboxer have you seen the e3 announcments?
some look great such as the Natal project for XBx.
kotaku.com/5274539/see-microsofts-project-natal-in-action

I would be abit afraid of having a wank and then turn my xbox on and connecting to a chat with just 3 knuckle shuffles.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

Personally I can't wait for anal interfaces to become industry standard.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

I can't believe that Peter Molyneux thing is real.

(

ArthurTheRat, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

it's fucking creepy if you ask me

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley
(

ArthurTheRat, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

The real Uncanny Valley is just outside Newport
Don't ever go there
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

I haven't xboxed much as of late.
I did try that Fight Night Round 4 last night mind. Tremendous banter.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

Oh, is the demo out yet? Great times.

(

ArthurTheRat, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

I'm considering the purchase of a 360

(

WHARRGARBL, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

I am, but when it gets cold and dark again
it's too nice out to become pasty again because of games
(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

I have just got a 360.
I look forward to getting shot in the head by several of you very soon.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

ME!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

" Hey guys, can't we all just get al...*Bang*...."
HEADSHOT
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

Good good, COD 6 comes our soon, i'll probably waste another 6 months solid playing that like what I did with COD 4.
So many great games coming out this year for it.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

Absolutely.
COD5 didn't interest me at all. WW2's been done enough times.
Modern Warfare is a far better setting.
(

ArthurTheRat, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

COD5 was also shite in comparison to 4.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

COD4 was fantastic.
I managed it all on Veteran, but just can't do the plane bit at the end.
(

Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I've just started COD4.
It's making me realise my gaming skillzorz (especially FPS's) are very rusty.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

I might try and get on LIVE tonight for the first time.
if not, it'll be the weekend.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

I'm cooking tonight around a mates house but will be on at the weekend.
COD 4 is all about the online, It's so much fun although hard at the beginning. It gets really addictive.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

In my (limited) experience of online gaming in the past, it's been shit. I've not enjoyed it.
The learning curve is too steep. You don't last 2 seconds before some l33t d00d is pwning you, like the n00b you are (am I sayin' it rite?lol).

That's not just COD, but any FPS.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

The only exceptions I've had to this rule are in Team Fortress 2, where thankfuilly enough people are shit that sometimes I can do alright
And Left 4 Dead, but that's mainly due to the co-op nature and playing with people I know.

I stuck a toe into Quake 3 online once. Never again.
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

Can anyone tell me what the matchmaking service is like on xbox LIVE?
Could I get a game with other people who are alright, but don't spend 18 hours a day on it?
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

it was ok on Halo AFAIK
you had levels of ability based on badges (earned through online play), and you get grouped with people with similar levels.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

depends on the game
a fair few of them have trueskill ratings, where it matches you up with people it estimates are around your skill level

of course other games just tend to dump you with whoever, but those ones tend not to get played online that much
(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

roccccccccccccket

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

*slobbewrysmooch*

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

thank fuck for that.
i thought i was losing it.
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

You? Pah, never.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

oh you.
*hangs onto beard*

*swings*
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

*weaves a beardyhammock*
*brews up*
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

awww yeah
hey, i go home at four today. THAT'S NOW.

bye xx
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

PLEES BE MI FREND

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

you'd need to learn how to spell yacht first.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

It's a schooner

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

I've invoked the 'how-your-dad-pronounces-it-when-he-thinks-he's-being-funny' spelling.
See also: destructions - instructions
sticky foot - certificate
disgusting - degustation (or however the french write 'tasting' on their wine shop windows)
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

my mum uses "destructions"
it was only a few years ago I learnt this wasn't a real word.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

it is a word
www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/destructions

it just doesn't mean instructions
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

for that usage, I mean
I remember a few people looking at me rather oddly.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

I can't say skeleton
I say Skellington :S

Also it's skissors and CH-emist.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

I bet you say 'haich' too.

(

ArthurTheRat, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

And a chimley, or chimminy?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

chimly annoys me.
it's not even slightly a real word.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

I LIK EIT

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'LL LET YOU OFF
seeing as you're so fluffy.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

I'm hearing 'dophlin' mentioned

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

oh, and 'arks'. as in arks you a question.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

in America some people say "axe".

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

Alright I ax u dis question aii? Brap brap brap, you feel me?

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

THEO NO WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU IN FRANCE

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

dis jst how we tork on teh street, innit, yo.
u dnt hve 2 wig out like, sistah.
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

Woo Woo
jus like an larm klok, r like cooking bwekfast in tha mownin
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

dats how we due it in tha hud, aii
cuckin fud 4 owah hoemeys innit blud
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

CHIMBLEY

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

also CHOPNEY.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

Put a pinch of sage in your boots and all day long a spicy scent is your reward

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

PAPERCLIP & COASTER MEDALLION

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

How much are coconuts?
I could get a coconut from tesco's.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

And a 1.5l bottle of Lilt.
Now you're living the playboy lifestyle.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

I and I been in Babylon too lang.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

please, what is "live the site"?

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

*slow clap*

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

thats a rubbish answer.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

you nob.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

leave I think

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

that was an explanation not a request

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Shut up fatty.
Pointing out obvious typos makes you the nob.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

Haha, I just got a spam email titled: 'Read or you're gay'.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

The question is, did you read it?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

Did you read it?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

The world needs to know!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

I bet you read it.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

I can't help the feeling
that an insufficient amount of Cock Tuesday references have been posted today.

Tonight I am having a BBQ, I had one last Sunday too and burnt my thumb quite badly. When did you last injure yourself in the course of your domestic duties?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

COCK
Where is Spermulus?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

If you've all bullied Wormulus off the board because a girl said so I'll be very upset with you all.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

He'll be back
I'm sure he's just doing some work or getting a haircut or something.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

That can't be right
How can you get upset with us, that would be all kinds of wrong.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

You're taking everything I say too seriously again!
..and why haven't you changed your name like I requested?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Also, did you attend this b4shomgh?!1 thing at the weekend?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

No I didn't
I was getting drunk with offline people.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

Yeah!
That's better!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

I saw the photos from that.
They were all in some shithole of a "garden" in some down-and-out shanty. Few of them could handle the alcohol. There's a video montage of the whole thing on /links somewhere.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

I best stay clear of this misery you speak of, DT.
Thanks for the warning.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

I blame you
for making me take you seriously too much.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

I don't know what happened. I miss his inane commentary.
Gasps - was it your fault?
(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Probably.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

I have it on good authority that this is the reason.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6192617
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

That's boringly unconspiricy-theory-ish
I say he's been kidnapped by a roaming band of Off Topicers, who want to keep him in case he wins next week's QOTW
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

OH DOUBLE R!
You're always a champion of intelligence!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

*taps nose*
*eyeholes in newspaper*
*russian femme fatale party*
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

YES!!!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

When you burnt your thumb:
Did you like it, or not?
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

I wasn't overly
enamoured by the occurrence.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

So it's fair to say that you didn't like it?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

I think that
would be the reasonable conclusion to draw.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

Hello, my name is Al the Geordie. I had a BBQ on a Sunday, and somehow burnt my thumb. I didn't like it.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

But your name is Dave?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Is Wormulus still banned?
If so that's why
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

No he's not
he posted last night
(beckyjsbx WOOP WOOP, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

I think he's being 'encouraged' to actually do some work while he's at work.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

I once sprained my arse cooking an elk on the spitroast.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

You were spitroasting an elk and you sprained your arse?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

that's not spitroasting, chb you dirty bastard

(

thealternativefact, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

I NO!

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

Was that not clear enough?
I had to have it in plaster for a month.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

I got some chemical burns on my hands from oven cleaner.
horrible stuff.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

Not in a long while, which is surprising with my track record.
I keep bashing off doors, though. Stupid shit balance.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

I'm sure some reference to being too fat to fit through doors
would be appropriate here. But I wouldn't stoop that low. My beer gut gets in the way too much.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

I was expecting it, to be fair.
I have scarred eardrums, I just fall to the side sometimes for no reason when getting up. Even when sober.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

did you clean them too hard
with cotton buds?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

No, about three years ago I had chronic ear infections for about eight months.
With all the hoovering out and cleaning they did, they are now scarred a bit.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Earsex

(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

I was chopping onions but I accidentally stabbed myself in the eye with an apple corer

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

There should be some sort
of warning notice on apple corers. I lost three friends that way.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

You'll just be sitting there, minding your own business and WHOOPS! Corer in the eye
Tragedy
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

damn straight

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

I can see through to your brains, dude

(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

There's a hole in my head and I made it just for you

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

I wonder if...
nah, never mind
(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

The true meaning of the word 'mindfuck'

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

Would you have popped one into Daniella Westbrook's nose if you had a chance?

(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

I would've squidged it up there using the back end of a pencil to jam it right in

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

If it wouldn't go you could put it in soft, and then get her to..
Fuck, what is wrong with me
(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

A few years ago I broke my leg by running into a brick bbq

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

I stubbed my toe on a great many things yesterday
walked into a cabinet, fell over some boxes, strained my back a bit... I'm very clumsy.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

In the last week at work, I have managed to get a cut on the tip of 8 out of 10 fingers
This means I have to wear latex gloves all day, and my hands stink of condoms by the end
(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Gone for pastures new
he said to say hi to you all though
(beckyjsbx WOOP WOOP, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

I burned my arm getting some fairy cakes out of the oven.
/Domestic Goddess blog
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

I AM GOING TO MAKE TETRIS MINI CAKES for the mister's birthday.
like fondant fancies, but TETRONIMO SHAPED
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

OH WOW

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

AWESOME BINKY

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

oooh, coolios
now I have a CLEAN OVEN I will be doing so much baking.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

But then it will become a dirty oven
And you will need to move again!
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

NO NO ME ME MARRY ME!!

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Did you lick your fingers suggestively
before dropping cream on your cleavage?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

christ

(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

whilst sucking off the cameraman
and taking a volley from his custard cannon to the tits and seductively talking about hot sauce?

anyone? no? oh, just me then
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Oh great, now you've done it.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Yes
just you. Filth.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

No.
I shouted and swore an awful lot.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

I cut my thumbtip half off yesterday
and cut my knuckle open on a bacon slicer a week ago. Other than that, I'm mostly whole.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

Wash it out with vinegar to disinfect it, quick

(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

i grated my finger this morning whilst washing up a cheesegrater

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

Did you say "Oh, that's just grate!"
and then fall around laughing?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

I AM NOW.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

I drilled my hand being lazy and putting up a new outdoor light onehanded.
careless really. Still.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

Oooof
How far in did it go?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

not really at all.
bounced the chuck off the webbing between my thumb and forefinger so a large chunk of that got ripped out.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Ah , right, cool.
Did it bleed lots?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

fair to middling amounts

I hope you're not getting a wide-on
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Of course not!
Did you film it?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

Right the way through?
or just a fleshwound?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

fleshwound
it was the chuck, not the bit. Even I'm not fuckwitted enough to put a drillbit through my hand, no matter how lazy I'm being ;)
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

I cut my beak on a broken rib.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

I hurt my hand at the bash, but I don't know how.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Fisting Wormulus in the toilets?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

He wishes.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Did you punch Wormulus?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

It both looks and feels like I punched somebody, but I know I didn't.
I didn't actually speak to him, I saw him once but then he was gone.

I did press myself up against SIX /talkers though. Hurrah.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

Oh I read your name as madam marlboro, sorry.
Maybe somebody punched your hand.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

Because I'm me and not her?
Sad face.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Noooo
B3tans are odd, though. God knows what happened to you.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Chomp happened to me a bit, pissed as he was.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

I was carried around by Dave Draws quite a bit
the perils of being a shortie
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

He's lovely, though. It could have been worse.
You should have hid behind me, I'm not scared of him.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

ah no he's lovely
and has a fantastic boobie-mole tattoo.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

He very much does.
You were lovely to meet, lady.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

she's a proper pocket-sized lovely, isn't she?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

I wish more people were as nice as Spangles.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

Plenty are.
Like me. Ask anyone.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

aw I forget to scroll down and everyone gets all lovely.
It was a pleasure to meet you, Captain, even if only briefly.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

That sounds really sinister.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

Nah, I'm more sinister than he is.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

I stabbed myself in the leg about 6 months ago.
I was cooking dinner and dropped the knife awkwardly
(

WHARRGARBL, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

MATE I JUST SENT YOU A GAZ ON GAZ
DONT TELL ANY CUNT
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

I WON'T. DON'T WORRY. I WON'T DISCUSS OUR SECRET GAZ OR LET IT SLIP THAT YOU GAZZED ME. GAZ.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I don't think anyone noticed the Gaz
You got away scot free
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

WHO IS GAZ

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

I'M GAZ

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

NO, I'M GAZ

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

I'M BRIAN BLESSED

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

GAZ!
I'M ME!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

Hehe

(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

This is round your way, isn't it?
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/sussex/8078490.stm

The second sentence is so full of pathos I'm going to have to put pathos filters on my internet or spend the rest of my summer blubbing like a baby.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

I read that this morning
quite a lot of :(
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

*lower lip tremble*

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

*patpat*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I'll hold you if you hold me.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

That story makes me :(

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

OKAY LOL

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

OH EM GEE.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

QOTW is bullied in to shape and BOARD is alright in spite of it's lack of GMoS.
I may as well quit the internet for the day right now.
But oh no. I still have much control to maintain with all you people.

As the puppet master who doesn't wear a scarf on here. How do you all plan to one day repay me for this sterling work?
You'd all be worse off without me.
Dare I also say, fatter too?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

I'll give you a flash, I suppose.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

CAPITAL LORDY!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

I NO

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

I'm already falling out with JMG in advance.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

JMG, instruct Barclaycard to phone me back and offer me a job.
I am bored of waiting.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

Why would you want to work for them?
Find another vet instead.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

None around here.
And we will be moving away soon, I hope. I don't want to start in another practice and then have to change.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

Be Professionally Unemployed.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

This is where I'm probably blamed for something.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

Bogus would, but it's not after midnight.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I would fucking love that.
How do I apply?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

It's easy - you don't even have to do anything!
Also: b3ta.belm.co.uk/bowser_donotwant
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

Awwwww.
Ooh, he got the fancy kind.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

Fancypants Vet
They love him there.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

Aww.
Boxers are usually very good. Mental, but good.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Yesterday, I took him for a short lead walk, and let him lead the way, just to see where he went.
He started taking me toward the vet again. Perhaps he was hoping they'd take the annoying collar off? :-D
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Hehe, probably.
What's his name?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Duh, BOWSER.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Oh duh, sorry.
I like that name.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

Aww, he's gorgeous, but not as nice as Madam Marlboro's boxer though. She's mental but lovely

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Aw her one is gorgeous.
I think we should have a b3tan pet bash.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

My Monty would steal the show.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

What is your Monty?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

My dog.
I don't think a b3ta bash would be Colin (my cat)'s scene.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

What kind of dog is he?
Yeah, I don't think my rabbit would enjoy it. I could steal Noit's parent's dog.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Mongrel, black.
Big bit of labbie, big bit of collie. 100% awesome.

Remind me sometime and I'll fish out a pic.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

Cool.
Will do.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

I'd win with my cat, he's aces

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Nooo, my dog is the bestest.
He lives in Ireland, though :(((((
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/beckyjsbx/Giz%20and%20Ozzy/GizOZ.jpg
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Awwww
The black one looks very like my sister's cat.

Being that they're both black.

I think she looks like she has some Burmese in her blood somewhere.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

They've both got the pointy haughty looking face thing going on

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Yeah, Lily's a snotty cow.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

Oh hai
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Awww, he's very cute
Not a patch on my cat though

img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/beckyjsbx/Giz%20and%20Ozzy/DCP_0025_1.jpg
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

He's awesome,
is a Norwegian Forest Cat, or partly?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

I think part Maine coon. Weighs around 6kg, but it's all muscle

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

haha, yeaaaaaah.
Just big boned:p My other sister's cat is like that, fucking monster.

It'll be quicker to link you to here to show you all my pets:
www.facebook.com/photos.php?&id=531590294&s=18&hash=4cf655bff723357a7469cc57b88ea9bd#/album.php?page=1&aid=13504&op=12&id=531590294
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Seriously, he's not a lol fattie, he's incredibly strong.
I was looking at them last week. I love bender, what kind of lizard beast is he?
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

He's a Uromastyx Occelata,
He's my sister's lizard. He's cool.

Oh I know he is, it just sounded like what clients say:p I FEED HIM HARDLY ANYTHING EXCEPT CAKE, HONEST
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

Haha, very true. I don't feed him ANYTHING at all, just scraps from the dinner table
and a bowl of crushed eagles every two hours.

He's awesome :)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

HE IS WIN
He is also 50:50 Boxer:Old English Bulldog
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

Ahhhh, he looks full Boxer there.
Cool, not many Old Englishes about here.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

They do special interviews every second thursday
Make sure to be drunk and sweary to impress them.

I think you'll be a natural. See if you can borrow a few screaming kids to push round too.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

Ugh, I don't do kids.
I could bring my rabbit, though.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

I'm not sure that would be appropriate.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

only if it's in a ripped lidl bag with a four pack and 20 snouts.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

SEXY
k53.pbase.com/v3/91/200591/1/45103024._MG_5133.jpg
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

oooh
Is that yours?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

No.
Google Images.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

OH DAVE SNAPPER!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

AH-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(

Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

I'll buy you a bottle of Newcastle Brown

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

I really haven't drank as much of that as you'd expect.
I did once go through many in Birmingham of all places.
I was in top form.
Sadly the football team weren't.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

As a gift to you
I shall take over as manager of Newcastle United Football Club and bring then back into the premiership.
Not only that, I shall make them win!
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

I'm building a 400 foot staut

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

it's like a statue, but pulled really tight

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

I applaud this, twice over.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

I really just pressed enter instead of backsapce :(

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

If I manage to win the lottery, I will buy you as much of the Brown Delight as you can drink.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

I'll throw empties at ugly people.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

It can only improve them.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

Board has GMoS
www.b3tards.com/u/73ec12ab3d29a4d600fa/gmos.jpg
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

GET IN!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

I feel tired.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

I recommend Cocaine.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

Are you paying?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

No.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

Chin up Pet.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

I'm pretty sure I'm thinner than you.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

Hopefully!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

Im thinner than both of you combined
And I dont even own a scarf.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

I own many scarves
but I need to because if my neck gets cold I start to whine even more.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

Oh JMG, Aberdeen is continuing a campaign of attempted bullying/internet white knighting against me.
It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

poof

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

It's a good job 50% of ABerdeen can't see any of this.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

I think Pickle Fatty has me on ignore, so that sorts that.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

We're completely covert.
Let's plan something in Brighton.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

Where did this Brighton based wobbling originate?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

b3ta.com/search/posts/19246?q=brighton
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

Blimey!
Was he raped by a Brighton or something?
That's some incredibly random bitterness.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Who in their right mind would even consider raping him?

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

None of the donkey's could carry him.
Terrible chlidhood trauma.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

Christ he's a fucking bitter twat.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

I'll have sex with you, or a person of your choosing, if you like.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

Hello. I think I'm going to make and drink grog today.
You know, because I'm so cool and street and urban and that.
I'm also frustrated that neither the police nor environmental health could do anything about EXTREMELY noisy neighbours at 5 o'clock this morning, even after various different people had asked them to shush it right the fuck up.
Something about grog or impotence.
(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

Will you be using the Monkey Island recipe?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

I hoped someone might ask this.
No, I won't. I'm allergic to battery acid. Doesn't sit well in my belly.
(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

hahalol
Jacqui Smith to step down
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

Never trust a woman with zebra print glasses

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

that's cum from her constantly wanking husband.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

NEWS

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

Werent you moaning about people phoning the police yesterday?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

Day before. They phoned 999 because some children had thrown water balloons at them.
I phoned West Yorkshire police because you could actually feel the bassline through the floor of this room, which is on the other side of the adjacent house and one floor up. Besides, it's exam season, so it's ludicrously selfish behaviour, particularly when they'd already been politely asked 3 times already.
(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

They just referred me to environmental health, who weren't open till 9am.

(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

We have people you can phone at night specifically to complain about noise
I don't know how much they could really do though.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

They only do a night-time service at weekends here, according to the number the police gave me.

(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

That's stupid, during the week is when you need sleep most.
I nearly expect to be woken up by noise weekend nights.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

This.

(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

The noise prevention IDIOTS.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

Wankers.
Order loads of pizzas and taxis to their house.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Did they think you were reporting a factory or something?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

Well, they're not doing their jobs then.
It's disturbing the peace. You are clearly a feeble soul, and they picked up on this over the phone.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

Serves you right for living in the student district.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

Would you like me to come up and sort them out?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

It's alright. We're moving out soon anyway.

(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

I just got a random burn from Tara
(:
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

Chinese?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

I still haven't sent mine out.
This, folks, is not because I'm lazy, but because my laptop is currently busy elsewhere. Sorry.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

I still need to send mine
I tried to do mine at the weekend but my machine started coastering, so I'm going to try again tonight.
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

Likewise, I'm doing mine this weekend and sending them out Monday. Too busy atm.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

i haven't done mine
BECAUSE I AM LAZY AND EASILY DISTRACTED. HA.

but youre getting one when i do. so nah.
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

TOTALLY AWESOME

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

I HAVENT EVEN MADE IT YET.
it's going to be full of shit.
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

YAY.
It ~~might be~~ is rubbish
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

I like the sweets :)
My colleagues are a bit concerned by the health and safety aspect of the foot print, but I say "YAY GLITTER"
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

In a totally non-gay way.

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

YAY.
That's actual size.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

Size 4?

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Nope
2
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

Is there any a-ha on it?

(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

There is not :(
Cor, Mr and Mrs though, eh? What the FUCK was that about?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

He's a bit of a mental isn't he?

(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

Yeah.
Still sexy though.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

When did he turn into Patrick Swayze?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

Don't make me recommend another scary film to you

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

Fuck off, cuteness.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

CUNT

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

I got one addressed to 'Theoban'
My concierge shouted at me and said she almost threw it away. Silly woman.
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

Impotence is fail
Grog causes impotence.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

I've been reading about pirates, and there's lots of grog in that.
It's just rum, you know. Named after the captain's MASSIVE overcoat. PIRATEFACT.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

I thought grog was watered down rum to keep sailors happy/hydrated.

(

Mu Dinofiddler, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

correct

(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

Probably safer than plain water as it wouldn't have been all that clean
Everybody used to drink beer until the Victorians decided to introduce plumbing and hygiene.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

Yes, now admit it was a story book about Benjamin the Blue Pirate, Roderick the Red and Gregory the Green
and the Griffin.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

It was actually this:
www.amazon.co.uk/Pirates-Adventure-Whaling-Gideon-Defoe/dp/0753820803/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243947371&sr=8-2
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

Ah, I forgot, you're too young for The Three Pirates.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

I bet you wish you were me
Pie and chips in Morrison's cafe knowing I'm the youngest here by at least thirty years. Grim times.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

Here I was thinking there was only Big Ben that'd reached 150 years old.

(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

Astonishing bullying
:(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

It's ok, you'll be dead soon, and it won't hurt you any more.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

*is very un-street*
What is grog?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

There's this thing called Wikipedia they have these days.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grog
(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

haha "bumboo"

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

If I wanted to look at Wikipedia I would have done

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Oh, sorry. Forgot.
simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grog
(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

*cricket applause*

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

You should look at it more often, it might stop you looking like the fat spastic you are on the internet.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

Well we wouldnt want your crown taken from you, would we?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

Top internet white knighting, here.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

The only knight without a steed, because he broke it's back.
LOLFAT!

Fat people can resist defending other fat people, even if they're wrong.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

I reckon he fancies her.
Which would make sense, seeing as she looks like a potato.

OH THE FAT JOKES!
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

mmmm, chips.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

I haven't had boozes in ages.
I might have some today, be a proper unemployed scum.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

You said you were on sick leave. That's not unemployed.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

I was, I am now unemployed.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

HAHA
Gutted.

Oh.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

Haha.
I don't really care. I registered with a temp place, they should have something starting in two weeks. And Barclaycard were supposed to get back to me last week, I'm going to annoy them now.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

My dog's got a nice big cone collar thing on. He is mostly unimpressed with it.
He managed to fall asleep standing up yesterday though, with his head resting on the coffee table.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

Awww.
Why does he have a buster collar? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

I cut his bollocks off.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

Cool.
I was thinking he was about the right age after I posted that. Is he being good?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

Yes. He's off his face on drugs at the moment.
It's a shame he hasn't got any spare...
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

Haha,
what did they give him, Rimadyl?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

He does have some of that, but they gave him something stronger as an injection yesterday.
It's only just wearing off. He was being really odd last night. Kept getting up from being asleep and bolting about the room as if someone had come in uninvited.

Rimadyl wouldn't do anything would it? It's just an anti-inflammatory.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Yeah, it can react with the anaesthetic sometimes, though, make them drowsy.
That was probably the anaesthetic wearing off last night, they can go a bit spacky.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

You probably need to get a can of Tennants Super
and put a brown paper bag round it for the full experience of being dolescum.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

Ugh, I don't like beer.
Cheapo cider works too, right?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

JMG!
Would anybody like to discuss b3ta's hero, JMG?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

He's dreamy

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

Sorry for posting right on top of you, JMG.

(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

Setting phasers to ROTUND.

(

ArthurTheRat, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

Red approval!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

Nerd.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

Shut it Bryan "Duck Thief" Dedd.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

I just got a new iPod because my old one broke. This will be my 5th iPod
Who wants to go on and on about how shit iPods are and how Apple are cunts ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

Erm, you?

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

I trained incredibly hard last night
I was pouring with sweat, it was amazing.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

I just did a run and sweated my bollocks off
I am still sweating now and I stopped running an hour ago.

*fitness high fives*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)

I love being fit
and sweating because it cools me down, not because just lifting my arms causes me to be tired.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

lets get all sweaty and naked and cuddle

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

But not in a gay way, just like we were two eels that were friendly with each other

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

YES!
I mean, er, yeah, why not?
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

I put up a shelf yesterday.
I had to go an lie down for 5 hours afterwards.
(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

On the shelf ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

No it wasn't a very big shelf

(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

I do! I have a aigo piece of shit
It cost me £40 two years ago.

It may not display artists in any discernable order, but uses 1 AA a month (even with constant listening) and it never breaks.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

HAHAHA FOLDSFIVE DIDN'T READ THE QUESTION RIGHT!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:18, archived)

Not me.
I'm on about my third one. And it's a bit dodgy.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:18, archived)

I just bought a 2Gb flash pen drive.
It's from Kingston.
Jamaica?
No.

I've no idea how shit iPods are.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

Although I do know someone who's got an iPod.
It's one of those ones where the entire front is a touchscreen, and if you turn it round the graphics turn round too to be up the right way. It's kind of impressive.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

I'm still on my first after just over a year.
Not a single problem yet.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

I had one of the original ones
It cost £7,000 was the size of a suitcase and held thirty seconds of music.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

haha
my Grandad used to have a valve one, it took up the whole of the garage.
It took two shire horses to pull it along.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

Stonehenge is actually a 16k iPod

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

ZUNE MOTHERFUCKER

/Doesn't actually own a Zune
(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

They really took off didnt they ?
All that fucking money Microsoft have got and they still cant make a decent product.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

I think iPods are the best portable music/video device on the market
and Apple's support is EXCELLENT if it goes wrong.
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

I agree with you
but mine have never gone wrong until they are so old I might as well just throw the cunts away.

The one I just replaced was about 3 years old, I'd had my moneys worth.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

3 years, jesus.
I've got biros older than that.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

~~iros~~ ogeys
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

I think my ipod must be over 3 years old now
Still going strong and still has good battery life.
If it failed, I wouldn't be upset because then I could get a bigger one.
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

I still have a perfectly working shuffle and iPhone
so I'ma big fan of Apple. I may even get a mac when my laptop gives up.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

i've got a Creative mp3 player that's still going after 5 years
perhaps you're just unlucky
(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

Cowon FTW

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

i've got a D2
worst interface ever
(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

LIES
It's great.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

you best be trolling

(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

Is it too difficult for your fat hands?
SWF games FTW. What's not to like?
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

oh, i like the touch screen, it's great, works just fine
but why can't i just add a fucking track to the now playing? why can't i play one track at a time without having to delete my playlist? why do the files on the memory card exist in a whole different set of folders?
(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

oh, and the DAB reception is crap

(

well, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

Not got the DAB version here.
Your playlist problem seems odd. You should be able to play a track without having to touch playlists.

You must just be a fat spaz.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

I bought a Zen 5 years ago.
It broke after about 4 months. They were very good and replaced it. The second one lasted about 6 weeks. I bought an iPod instead. It'd probably still be going if it hadn't been nicked :(
(

Malchick, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

I got a Zen
about a year and a half ago, and its still as good as new. I find it does everything I need it to do (Play music, really).
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Hello!
Today, I am filming [project name] which plans to be airing on [program name] on [channel number] in mid-[month].

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT'S IN CODE?
(

__, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

Bumming dead dogs

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

Comedy lab?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

+ ia

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

+ rador rape

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

+ our government

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

IGNORING [SHIT B3TAN]

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

whatever it is, it's got to be more interesting than attention-seeking non-information.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

LOOK AT ME I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

*ruffles hair*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

BUT I WANT ATTENTION ANYWAY!

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

*pandas*
*pandas slightly disturbingly*
*harasses*
*stalks*
*loses interest*
*starts writing to Jordan*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

I hope you get raped, genuinely. I hope that youre raped by a chinese disabled man and I hope that he slits your throat afterwards. Honestly. I do.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

is that code...?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

omg that is soe cruewl !
There are peopl ded on a plane in Brazzil and all you can do is be horrid.

I think you are a cunt.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

a C++ program

(

turb0t, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

I will be doing [work] followed by going [home] where I shall play [computer games] and watch [tv]
[Exciting]
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:12, archived)

Planning to escape

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

[reply]

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

Furiously masturbating
That's code for getting exciting about bands I'm going to see this year.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

Writing some stuff in oracle to allow [manager name] of [groundworks company] to check the efficiency of [staff group].
It has to be ready for [date before now].
(

FoldsFive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

Go on then, tell me what you had for lunch
*grunts*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

spag bol

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

nothing yet
thrilling, I know
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

my grandmothers piece on a plate

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

...

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

:D

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

Nothing
Maybe prawn salad later though
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

PRAWN ON A BEANBAG !
(this is how I once described my freinds genitals because he had a small cock and big balls)
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

A couple of bites of sandwich, then I threw it away.
Not really feeling all that much like eating today.

It was tuna, though.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

*HUG*
Sorry, I was in hug arrears from Saturday.

How are you captain? Everything ok?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

Meh.
It will be.

You?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

Aww something's up :(
Now I feel bad for things being quite good :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

Don't feel bad, I'm glad you're ok.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

I do feel bad now though
People I know being unhappy makes me unhappy. Anything I can do to cheer you up?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

Not really. Seriously, don't worry.
Pointless me being about, actually, if I'm going to mope. See you later, look after yourself.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

I'll drive all the way down there to hug you if I have to!

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

I'm still here, I can't leave now.
It's all ok.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

OK :|
gaz me if you need to talk.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

:) see you soon.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

that's because Tuna is the devils own spunk.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

It's nice.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

no it isn't
it's fucking rank
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

Lies.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

there's a lot of controversy going down here

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

*wonders how you would know*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

Its all here in this pamphlet
'Pickle's Guide To Spunk'
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

hey hey
trouble at sea, Capt'n?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

Aye, world crashing down around my ears etc.
The usual emoisms.

How're you?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

*hugs with force*
Not bad thanks - spent a long weekend moving house with cr3.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

You're a sweet pea.
Bless you two, you're lovely together.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

you're the most prolific talker
did you know that ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

What a pile of shite.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

It's true, check the stats page
you are the most talky talker.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

Not in the grand scheme of things, though.
Anyway, I'm going now so that's a step in the right direction.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

A shower

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Panini
Which was fantastically unhealthy and yummy.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

Paninis are indeed excellent
Tonight i shall be making a chilli from Sundays leftover pork

/nyom
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

I have recently been adding chocolate into my chili
Highly recommended
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

Pah

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

ah ie
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

pork with spicy sauce and steamed rice from Wasabi.

(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

Yet to have it yet, shouldn't be long now.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

beef stir fry

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

The still beating heart of Miley Cyrus

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

Would.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

Couscous
A fruit smoothie thingie
An espresso

A good lunch, today.
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

I had a ham, cheese and pickle sandwich, which I made at home
Last night I had grilled chicken with steamed veg. It was all of the nom.
Grilling chicken, I have decided, is the best way to cook it.
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

and why not
www.b3tards.com/u/5d4c552eb78a7f1b7de2/kitten2.jpg

its fucking warm out there

*is glad he has air-conditioning in the workshop*

how hot are you (temperature wise not sexy time hot)?
(

TBL I posted this on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

KITTON
It is 20c here.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/5d4c552eb78a7f1b7de2/awesome.jpg
(

TBL I posted this on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

PUPPEH

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

www.cr3static.com/data/jpg/fengapapit.jpg
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

Ugh!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

mungmungmungkissiesplllllggsshhhs!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

That photo keeps making me laugh,

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

meng meng meng playtimez

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

I'd like to see what would happen if you took it off her

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

She would do a gutteral wail like a charging stag

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

you are a bad man

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

21c for me.
23c now
although the realfeel is apparantly 25c
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

I just had a cold shower
now I'm sat with a cooling fan blowing cold air over my knackers

so if anyone's stuck in a hot sweaty office today, HAHAHAHAHA I AM COOL
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

I'm sat at home with the window open and it's quite nice.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

Not too bad today
The boss finally turned the heating off in the office *cheers*
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

haha, yeah

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

Not too bad at the moment.
Beach football tournament later so I'm sure I'm gonna die in the sun.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

Probably somewhere around 37 degrees

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

37.6, maybe?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

i just had a Guinness Extra Cold so probably 37.4

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

I might have a coffee.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

I am ok at the moment
I called in at the company I used to be a PA at earlier to see their new offices (typical that when I worked there I had to travel nearly an hour on the bus every morning and then I leave they move around the corner from me)and it was ROASTING in there as some silly bugger had switched the aircon to heat.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

I'm alright.
My hands and feet are freezing though.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

Mug of tea and slippers, stat!

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

:)
I don't mind, actually. I'm barefoot in my office, which I love doing. I'm always a bit cold so *shrugs*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

UUURRRGH VERRUCAS

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

UUURRRGH YOUR FACE

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

I am 420 degrees cooler than my current temperature.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

i've just checked on the bms and the outside air temp is showing 24.8c
in my office i have just used my lazer temp gun and it is 21, the setpoint is 21 so i am ok, ta
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

lazer temp gun sounds like a quality devise for tormenting agency workers.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

HALLO I AM DAVINDA MCHALLLLLLL
photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v4611/209/86/285403989/n285403989_3476134_6285777.jpg

HOW ARE YOU YAY
(

__, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

still would

(

TBL I posted this on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

GNEEEEEEH

(

__, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

If you close your eyes it could be anyone's fanny.
That's my motto.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

Say that when you can't tell if you've got a pussy infront of you or if the ZZ Top brothers are trying to give you a snog

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

You gotta pack it up
and work it like a new boy should
(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

Looks like she's been left out in the sun and melted a bit

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

The sun has run away :(
Other than that I am dandy.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

Good lord I can't stop passing solids today.
I'm like an endless Playdough factory down there.
(

Use one of the add-ons and make it come out triangular.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

TJ:
If my mum is Irish and my dad is English would the BNP want me out?
(Peter_G, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

as a BNP member we hate the French *drinks can of Stella Artois*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

i hope you've used a stella as part of the joke there...

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

No, I suffered from a hideous beating by my father as a youngster and he beat all the rational out of me and refilled that with misinformed racism.
Plus I hate vikings.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

but what about the people who make stella, eh? how do you like those belgians

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

Fucking Belgians always eating their paella , invading Germany in World War II, interupting that nice Hilter man.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

did you see all those young ladies in their bikinis in leicester square yesterday? it was disgusting

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

*huffs*
Faaaaackin WOMEN! Should be heard and not seen! And by 'heard' I mean the sound of a HOOOOOOVA! getting rid of all tha foreign dust in my haaaaaas!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

i didn't know where to look, all those young buxom models, bouncing around on inflatables, playing on surf boards and what not
shocking stuff
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

Speaking of leicester square, I'm off to Capital FM, ciao!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

I'm fucked, anyway.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

I've just wet myself
so I have a spreading feeling of warmth which will soon cool down.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

Not very, they've turned the aircon up very high.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

I'm both incredibly hot and incredibly hot

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

Popular page

(

hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 4:33, archived)

What a feeling.
I'm Dan's sweaty sores congealing.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

Bye bye Mr Berry why-aye
Drove my skevvies through the navy now Ron Jeremy's bi
(

__, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make them think.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

bingo
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

This sounds fun!
I have signed up.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

nice one, it's fun for all ages and sexes and great times
forum lulz a plenty
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

Bollocks, I'm off festivalling.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

never fear young man, bingo is here to stay, i'm campaigning for a /bingo board

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

Just use offtopic

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Off topic is shit

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

you tell him
/talk is the home of bingo and bingo fans
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Yes, indeed.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

I'm confused. Please explain.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

it's bingo, you gaz me, i send you a bingo card, i randomise 90 numbers and call them out, online when a dull thread appears, you mark them off your card
i also have a copy of your card to check for false claims, posting dull threads on purpose gets you banned from the bingo for that week
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

that's fucking mega.
But there's no way I'm gonna be on here on a saturday night.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

I have just been for my first ever contraceptive injection
why the fuck didn't anyone tell me it would hurt so much and still hurt 2 hours later :(
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

^Fucking pansy

(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

It's i/m, I presume?
i/m is always a bit sore.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

ESME! What is I/M?

(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

Ahh intra muscular
Thanks spangers
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

INTRA MUSCULAR.
INTO THE MUSCLE. Oh hai!
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

In Mouth

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

p/o

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Private Orifice

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

Per Os

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

Perfect Ostrich?
ESME HAS LOST IT
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

SHUSH IT RIGHT UP

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

owies
was it an intra-muscular one? Those do cane a bit.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

ooh look at me I knew a medical thing

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

If was in my arm

(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

If it wasn't into the vein, it was i/m.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

Nah she just whapped it in in the same bit where my TB is.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Yup, i/m.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

It really fucking hurts!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

Yeah, it will do.
Stick an ice pack on it, that will help.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

Thank you Dr Esme :)

(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

:)
How are you? How is Fez Cat?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

We are great thanks
Everythings getting easier every day.

Fezcat is a little shit. He keeps following me to nursery but manages to get halfway to the point where he can't see the house anymore then he just sits and waits.

How are you and noity noit?
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Aw, he's looking after you:)
Yeah, not too bad. Noit has a new better job, and I just registered for temp work. It is verrry nice here today. I like the sun.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

Oh good look with the temping thing
it's lovely here too. Shame we live so far apart we could have been ladies of leisure in the garden.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

got to be better than just get done up the shitter all the time

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

That's your answer for everything

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

pretty much
show me your bumhole
(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

I thought a contraceptive injection was when you put your willy into a fanny, wiggled it around a bit and then 5 weeks later you give birth to toddlers?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Silly!
good lord can you imagine the scroats that would be wandering around if that were true.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

I honestly believe that I've got a child somewhere.
I hope he's got a Mexican first name, like 'Tortilla Chip' or something cool.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Ricardo Izecson Anderson dos Santos Leite Gums?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

I'm totally recording a hard rock version of a Frank Sinatra song
it's going to be quite special
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

Awesome-o.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

Which one?
It'll be gosh darned SEXY is what it'll be.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

fly me to the moon

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

that was the worst film i saw last year

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

I just had a phone call from someone asking if I want to work in Leeds
sod that, I'd rather starve than go to Yorkshire
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

do a comedy parody version like weird al, those are sooooooo funny

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

no, those are shit
it's a totally straight cover, just rocked up a bit
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Doesn't sound very straight to me, pufter.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

fuck off you lardy noncebucket

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Yeah but "Mack the Knife" could be... "Snack Tonight"!!!!
And... "New York, New York" could be... uh.. "Food Pork, Food Pork!"
(

__, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

or Poo Pork

(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Start Spreading the lube
I'm horny today
I'm gonna make you fart a bit
When I Poo Pork Poo Pork
(

Mrs Sp@m, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Baldmonkey broke B3ta:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

IT'S ON FIRE AGAIN
OH NOOOOOOOO BURNY
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Make sure noone pisses on piston broke

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

No, because that wouldn't be very nic-
Oh.
(

Bats, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

That bastard

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

The mods should BAN HIM

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

For the good of all mankind
And kitten kind
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

bit harsh, maybe just naughty step him for a few years

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

bingo

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

I think b3ta broke baldmonkey.
The fat spastic twat.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

I'M JUST POPPING UPSTAIRS FOR A SHIT.
A shit of mine prevents crime.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

An apple a day keeps your cock for a gay.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

never a borrower or a bender behind
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

Where there's fuck, there's ass.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

IM NOT GOING TO ANSWER YOU AGAIN.
i have a whole a4 page list of work to do and you're distracting me :P
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

A bitch in wine shaves mine

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

I thought I was the only one!
My morning constitutionals scare thieves from over a mile away.

brb
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

what is brb?

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

Big round bollocks

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

As soon as i posted that i figured it out
I much prefer yours though
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

Brian Reads Books

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

BLERG! Rotton Backne

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

www.glastonbridge.co.uk/img/aolism_brb.jpg
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

A witch in lime saves Optimus Prime

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

YES

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

Four poos expel soul

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

Whatever grows up
gets downs.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

A rolling stone ploughs Kate Moss

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

Too many cocks spoil the broth.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

I'm guessing that one is too many
Unless it's cock broth, then how do you decide how many is too many?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

Depends how many you can fit in the pot
large cocks would mean fewer, smaller cocks however may not be enough.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

Finely sliced
you'd not really notice it in cream of mushroom soup. And diced it could pass in pea and ham.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

cock-a-leekie

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

no I splashed myself while washing my hands, honest

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

Hahaha

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

when the customer says "waiter, there's a cock in my soup"
and you have to think of a witty repartee
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

"theres also one in your chair, sir"

(

Malaka omdz, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

"well, it IS cream of chicken, sir."

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

"I know, I put it there"
"HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW"
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

red sky at night
post-curry shite
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

IT'S A KITTIN!
I aww'ed so hard I cried a little.

That is all.
(

Bats, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

Cats should be imprisoned until they learn how to fucking spell
If they're not going to learn how to spell, someone should stop letting them use the internet.

Fucking cats.
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

Cats should be imprisoned until they learn how to fucking spell
If they're not going to learn how to spell, someone should stop letting them use the internet. I enjoy
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

It's fucking disgusting.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

I fucking hate cats

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

This

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

ugh kittens are ugly.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

that's probably small enough to fit in a normal-sized coffee grinder

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

i prefer the pestle and mortar.
you can bash it better.
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

it is vere minimum cat

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)

A bird in the ham is worth George W. Bush.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

I LIKE IT.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

A rolling pin blugeons Kate Moss.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

this morning i grated my fingerskin with a cheesegrater.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

better finger than fore

(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

i dont have one of them

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

not even in the back of the cupboard?
they keep for ages.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

Good work, petal.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

I brought a knife down on my finger last night
it's OK though, I stopped just before I cut myself deeply.
(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:11, archived)

i got stabbed in the pad by a vicious cat this morning.
it's quite deep.

i mean of course pad on my finger. i dont really know the right word.
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

fingertip?

(

SuperMatt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

well that would mean the end of it, in my book
whereas this is the fleshy pad.
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

this makes little sense but I like it.
What happened to the /talk board? Is the sunshine driving everyone mad?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

BLAH! BLOO BLOOO BLOO! BLA BLA! BLOO BLOO BLOO!

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

I have no idea, ever since 9ish people have been going loopy.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

AAWWWOOOOOP! AAAWWWOOOOOOOP! AAAAWWOOOOOOP!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)

A stinking time saves Nine-Eleven.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)

fuck your fucking podcast man
fuck it right in the fucking ear with a fucking cactus
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)

GOOD ISN'T IT.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

it's FUCKING SHITWANK

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

Are we both talking about this:
baldmonkeystuff.blogspot.com/
I AGREE. IT IS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO EARS SINCE SUPERMATT LEARNED HOW TO RAPE VAGINAS
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)

I LIKE KITTEN SKITTLES.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

it's depressing
you could actually do something vaguely funny on the internet

but you just keep doing worthless shit, give it up
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

NO.
NOT UNTIL YOU EXPLAIN IN DETAIL HOW TO DO SOMETHING VAGUELY FUNNY ON THE INTERNET.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

just nick someone else's idea
and draw tits and a fanny on it
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)

and a big furry tail OH YEAH gmtrfh.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

NO
also: NO
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

aww yeah fluffy horn.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

haha

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

in the sims i give my characters cat-ear hats

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

and in little big planet i dress him as a bunny or a lion.

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

and in oblivion i played as a khajit

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

AND i own a bunnyear sweater dress and a cat hat.
YEAH FLUFFY BINKY.
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/4068.idea.jpg
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

it's better than a podcast
but still painfully shit and rubbish
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

You are no help.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

the five minutes you've been talking to me is five minutes you've not been making worthless podcasts
I see this as a valuable public service
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

when you say "driving"
...
(

Batsgirl, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

I'm turned normal and boring.
gnyessssssssss.

*wears tweed*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

Are you not back on your pills yet?
I still think we should find someone to make this happen.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6179299
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)

Like the bell on a chinese cock.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)

One in the hand is worth two in Kate Bush.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)

FAMILY FORTUNES FAVOURS THE BEREAVED.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)

this place badly needs some bingo

(

mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

Don't fuck a miffed horse in the mouth.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

RED CROCKY

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

SLINKYBEEPY

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

*bites your face*

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)

*pinches your earlobes*
you never replied to my gaz
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

GAZ eh
*goes to check*
(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

HAPPY NOW?

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

*tickles chin*
yes.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

:DDDDDDDDDD

(

sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

Every crowd is a self-aligning.

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Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)

Between the Dunhill and the PVC

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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

Many hands make frights lurk.

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Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

Don't put Norman Clegg in one basket.

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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

A late hearse bans death

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RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

Abcess makes the part go yonder

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RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

Charing Cross begins at home.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

WAAAAH WHINEY WHINEY WAAAAAH I AM A STUDENT WAAAH I HAVE EXAMS WAHWAHWAHWAHHHHHH BOO FUCKING HOO
get a job hippy
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
I have to dry my hair, CAN'T BE BOTHERED. MY LIFE IS SO SHIT:(((((((
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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

Sit in the sun
it will dry and you don't have to do anything. It might not style afterwards though.
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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

I don't style it anyway, fuck that.

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

Then go sit in the sun!
Have a martini or copious amounts of gin.
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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)

it's going to be like this all day isn't it?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

FUCK YEAH.

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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

I'm off to see Derren Brown tonight

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__, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

~~to see Derren Brown tonight~~ the edges of the mirror
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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

*erection*

(

__, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

This afternoon I will be paid handsomely for doing fuck all because I am a grown up.
I needed no exams to accomplish this.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

I'm getting one
With the aim of amending the Mental Health Act.
Now take your meds and shut the hell up
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Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

O HAI

(beckyjsbx WOOP WOOP, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

LOL ROFFLES

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sleepybinky, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

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