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Never mind dolphins
Cuddle a shark instead.

Sharks are awesome, completely fit for their purpose and not changed for millions of years. What do you think is perfect?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)
me, i'm smashing, and modest, and great
and bingo
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)
Taking offence here because you didn't tell me not to.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)
back up young man, i'm too nice for anyone to take offence, that is why i'm so smashing and brilliant
great forum, great forum user id:23553
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)
Bivvys?

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)
I'd like to see the headline
"SHARKS CAN BE FUCKED LIKE SHEEP SAYS MENTAL PATIENT"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)
You wouldn't need velcro gloves
that's for sure.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)
not all bivvys are perfect, some are a disgrace to the world of bivvys

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)
I expect waterproofing and sturdiness in harsh conditions are important in a bivvy
does water not come in the front when it's raining though?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)
It also should be coloured yellow and have a pikachu face on it

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)
I think it should have a snail-shell print on it

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)
Awww :)
I'd wear it on my back and slither around the pond, eating twigs all happy faced.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

HAY GUYZ
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)
Pfft :D
*nyim nyim nyim*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)
ahaha!
spot on
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)
no it has a front on it, it can just be zipped off for summer or what not, my one that is, the door is up but that zips down too
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1228672858/bivvy222222.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)
Great bivvy, great times.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)
EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T BORDERING ON EXTINCTION

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)
This is true
but things go extinct for two reasons, either they are shit or they are adapted to an environment that changes/disappears. Some things that are on their way to extinction might be beautifully designed, but people have just fucked up the environment for them.

The opposite is the case with fucking seagulls. They thrive on eating shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)
I always wonder why pigeons and seagulls scavenge off people
When other birds choose a more dignified life.

Pigeons are the b3tans of birdkind.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)
Don't over-state our importance in this
there's plenty of changes to enviroments resulting in exctinctions that had nothing to do with us. We're a fuck sight less signifincant than we arrogantly think we are.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)
I blame Thatcher for the dinosaurs thing

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)
ME

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)
*high five*

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)
I think when you hug a shark they make a sound like Blakey from On The Buses

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)
I also think Chimps are perfect, I don't understand why we evolved.
They are cheeky and have funny faces and they pick their bums, what more do you want?!?!
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)
Telly, marmite and comics.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)
I love comics. I've got all of next week off and I'm going to read Naruto from start to finish online. all 445 of them.
I've also got all 2000ADs from 1988-1996 so may dig those out too.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)
I have 2000ad's from about 1983 to about 1992 with a few 1970's ones
I have every 2000ad and Judge Dredd annual up to about 1995

I would sell the lot tomorrow if I could get a decent price for the bastards. Can't be bothered to sell them one at a time for 50p each on ebay....
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)
I've got the first ever Simpsons comic which is worth a few bob now, fuck knows where it is though.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)
I used the first ever copy of Superman to wipe my arse on.
I gave the soiled item to my next door neighbour's little girl who ate it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)
I've got a lot of very early Viz comics
I bet they are worth sixty or seventy pence each now.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)
I might take a few days off and reread all of Preacher again
which is my favourite. I want to buy more Battlepope as well, I've got the trades of the first few issues and OHMYGOODNESS it's good.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)
I have the full Akira in digtial format
waiting for the day I have find the time/have another shit long flight.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)
Bicycles

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)
sounds like you
:P
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)
OooooOOOOOOO!! AAAHAAAAHAAAAAHAAHHHH!!
*underarm lobs a poop at you*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

*whips out the tennis racquet of shyte reflection and bats it right back at you*
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)
Self awareness
Mime
War
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)
we didn't evolve from chimps
that's not how it works. Us and chimps both evolved in different ways from a coscestor.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)
Evolution? I'll not have you peddling that Satanic filth around here, m'boy
Why don't you have a chimp round for tea then if they're part of the family? EH?
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)
Fundies Say The Darndest Things
[Replying to 'as for not seeing evolution it takes several million years... incase you missed that memo...']

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

From www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)
Hah, I like the idea of the Eternal Chimp

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)
Yet to have it yet, shouldn't be long now.
/ac
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)
That is exactly why I adore sharks.
Crocodiles too. Donosaury goodness, no need to change. As far as I know anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)
Crocodiles were my favourite animal when I was a mini-spang.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)
They're still one of mine now.
Crocodiddles, geckos, cats (all of them, big ones and little), sharks and big hairy Scottish cows.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)
Crocodilios, pangolins, jackals and kitty cats
axolotls and such. Lovely beasties.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)
YM

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)
Although i've never met her
I'm sure she's very nice.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)
Your mum,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)
Too slow Loser!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)
Aren't you still convinced I'm a girl?
If so you should be nicer to me.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)
I like sharks.
I also like Saturn.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)
I have held a shark on my lap
and fed it little fish.

Swimming with dolphins is gay.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)
That's awesome.
Is their skin as sandpapery as people say?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)
Yes very much so, rougher than you would imagine.
And the jolt of muscular activity when you feed it a fish and it snaps its jaws is awesome. This was just a 4ft shark too, imagine what a 10ft shark would be like to rape feed.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)
Rough surfaces, counter-intuitively, have less drag.
Think of golf balls. If you want your car to be more fuel efficient, sand it.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)
or go for the golf-ball physics
and smack it right up with a ball-peen hammer.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)
Can you imagine playing golf with a shark instead of a ball ?
What a load of shite people post on here...
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)
Tigershark Woods

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)
Ernie Eels

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)
If I ever get a car, I'm going to try this.
It'll make my dad go nuts.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)
Only when pressure drag is dominant, otherwise the opposite is true.

(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)
You're a bit late for this discussion.

(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)
Sorry. Working.

(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)
That's ok,
it doesn't make you wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)
I suppose not.

(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)
You say just 4ft forgetting
that spango is probably that height.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)
That's true
The biggest one in the tank I swam in was 7ft, they didnt let you molest that one though.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)
It really is a bit shit isn't it?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)
Mrs HB & I went on a dolphin safari in a Chinese junk.
True dat.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)
Were they wild ?
To be fair, I did swim with captive dolphins. It was in Israel and they were in a pen in the sea being gradually "released" into the wild after living a long time in aquariums.

I think encountering a wild dolphin would be a different ball game, captive ones are just bored shitless
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)
Wild? They were livid!

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)
don't put your cock in their blow holes then, they can't stand it

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)
Aw I love sharks.
We were at a sealife centre somewhere and we were walking through the tunnel bit, where you can see all the sharks swimming about above you. There was a mummy shark and mini baby shark who was swimming directly under her. It was cuteness, in shark form.

I think bats are pretty much perfect. Reason? Because I said so.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)
Daww lookit it's little face!
Bats are cool. I like the big ones, the huge flying fox type ones that live in jungles.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)
At the west midlands safari park
they have this thing called the twilight caves where there are bats just flying about the place, around your heads. It was awesome. I didn't want to go home.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)
Sharks can be cuddled like dolphins, say scientists
+ who have never seen the film Jaws.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)
Their skin is like sandpaper
in fact, shark skin was used as an early form of sandpaper.
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)
Not all of them.
Some are smooth skinned, some are sandpapery.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)
That would be the smooth skined sharks.
Also, not all sharks have heads that are shaped like hammers, but they are shit at bashing in nails.
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)
So shark skin toilet paper wouldn't be much good then?

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

This stuff is better for that
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)
Sharks are fucking awesome.
/ac

I love them. Do you know what else is awesome, RAYS. Rays are the best ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)
I must say
after swimming with sting rays and nurse sharks, the rays were much cooler. really scary to feed too as you have to let them envelop your hand.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)
I bet that wasn't the first Ray to envelop your hand.

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)
I LOVE them.
I turn into a squealy five year old when I see them.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)
Try telling that to Steve Irwin

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)
Not sting rays, nice mini rays.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)
Ray Winstone
Shark Lamarr
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays!
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)
they're like awesome spaceships,
only made of fish.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)
I NO.
They're so lovely and friendly.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Stegostoma_fasciatum_thailand.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)
Awww!
Look at his face:)
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)
MC Hammerhead

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)
Great Barry White.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)
Basking Cole

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)
Easy tiger.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)
Manta rays!
We watched some of the Blue Planet dvd last night, there were rays and stuff in that.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)
I WANT A RAY:((((
The shitty pet shop at home had a baby one for sale a few years ago.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)
That's a disgrace

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)
Yeah, I know.
They are such a shit shop. I worked in the vet practice they used, only brought them in when they were dying.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)
Rays are sharks.
/useless fact of the day
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)
Yeah, I know.
That's how COOL they are.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)
Double-cool.
with chocolate sprinkles

/you can tell them apart by counting the gill slits, you know. Rays have 5.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)
Ooh, I didn't know that.
We don't do much about sharks in vet nursing school, as you can imagine.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)
Praying Mantises
aren't perfect, but they are cool. "Mantis" means "soothsayer" or "prophet".
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)
I saw a video of a girl eating a live one.
They do look like little prophets, all bug-eyed and wavy-armed.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)
Was she hot/naked ?

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)
I don't know.
I'm cynical.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)
i'm cylindrical
it makes life difficult sometimes
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)
I'm cyclical
I just rotate, constantly
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)
I just had one of those really good cups of tea that really hits the spot.
I think it's quite perfect when that happens.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)
Spiders deserve hugs too
Awww
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)
I quite like a bit of scotch egg

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)
Women can't resist a scotch egg

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)
Nice long hot baths.
Oh yes. Yum yum. Maybe with a little bar of chocolate and some Lush goodies.
(I helped save b3ta! Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)
I'm drinking some water from a water cooler
and it smells like Dolphins have swam in it.

Cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)
It's probably been through hundreds of people as well,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)
So by the laws of Homeopathy
I'm sucking about a hundred cocks and fannies
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
I might start using mine now.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
I have a water cooler in the studio.
I never use it.
The end.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)
Put guppies in it

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
Gut puppies in it.

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
OH YOU CUNT.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)
Gut puppies in it.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
I dipped my bum in it anti clockwise

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
Did you play with the bubbles?

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)
It tickled my chuff and I liked it, then I ate some cherry chapsticks

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)
I don't like water cooler water, it just tastes of too cold and nothing
I like a bit of hard scummy water, the sort of water a sweaty manatee would swim in
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)
I chisel all the limescale from my kettle and have it in my sandwiches

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)
On the rocks?

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)
probably needs cleaning.
water coolers are a bit grim, really.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)
I changed the bottle for the last bash.
That was a bit of a waste of time wasn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)
not unless you refilled it with gin.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)
A girl who was obsessed with lipstick where Iwork used to put the opening of her water bottle over the water cooler nozzle
and there was always lipstick on it. Funnily enough it wasn't used that much apart from by her.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)
I hope you slapped the bitch right up.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)
I didn't as she was well 'ard.
and a little scary. I heard that when I left they all bought her a mini desk top cooler for her birthday.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)
it's probably all the bacteria, take a dipslide of it and incubate it, probably full of critters
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)
put a blue cistern block in it

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)
I have a dumber question.
What's the name of that song with the catch baseline and one of the lyrics goes "money money money money... MONEY"?
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)
Rich Man's World?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)
Loadsa Money by Harry Enfield

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)
L O D S of E M O N E
Whatsatspell? Loadsamoney, probly.
"Made a right load of perishing lolly this week"
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
It was by Johnny Cash.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)
The three tenors, surely?

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)
It was later covered by Dollar.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)
and Credit to the Nation, apparently.

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)
also known for "Yen Will I Be Famous"

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)
And their cover oover the Kaiser Chiefs' "Rupee"

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
It won a Fiver Novello award you know.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)
The Three Tenners

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)
bindun

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)
Feck off, recent past

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)
pfft
*moons*
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)
Reel 2 Rial

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)
Loot Reed

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
Lira Minnelli

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
Peseta Duchie 'pon the left hand side

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)
Willy Wonga

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)
Dosh Groban

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)
Dough Diddley
Breaddie Mercury.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)
Lucre Vandross

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)
U2 The Wedge.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
Rock the Drachma

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
Counting Krone

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)
Quid Viscious?

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
Rand-y Newman.

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)
Euro-pe

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)
I had a curry last night.
I can't stop farthing today.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)
was it a groat curry?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
and Francs Sinatra

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)
Black Ruble Motorcycle Club

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)
And Dinar Washington

(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)
Fucksocks!
What a Dong.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
and Euro-pe

(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
was it not Dollar?

/edit: SHIT
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)
It's ok.
Eur-only human.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)
Full Marks for that one.
Now. What's for Dinar?
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
Dirham and cheese sandwiches.
Only eat Won at a time though.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
Thats the money I use to buy condoms from the vending machines in public toilets

(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)
Yeah right.
And Sherlock Holmes is a block of flats.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)
"A lemon entry my dear Watson"
Holmes said, as shoved a citrus fruit up his arse.
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)
Have you seen the trailer for the new Holmes movie?
Horrible, horrible, Thrice: horrible.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)
Was it an orange?

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)
its was a clockwork one.

(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
He could also have said "Alimentary, My Dear Watson" for the same activity.

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)
The one from Cabaret?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkRIbUT6u7Q
(I helped save b3ta! Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)
Cabaret is the worst thing to have happened to this world.
Fucking terrifying.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)
I do believe it is this
O'Jays: For The Love Of Money

Appalled that I could only find this by searching for the sample used in a really bad song.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)
alright?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)
WHASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUP
I'm alright. Need to go into town in the next half hour so as not to bugger up my day, but still not dressed.

You gooooooood?
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)
Yeah I'm good thanks,
you'll never get dressed and ready in half an hour.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)
I know. :(.
Especially if I sit on here. But I just clicked on talk to look at the popular page, but you know I can never resist being smug and helpful :*(

Edit: AND NOW I CAN'T LEAVE TIL HE TELLS ME HOW RIGHT I WAS!
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)
he has now,
you can leave.

Speak to you later.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)
Yus!
cheers a million.
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)
*takes a modest yet smug bow*
A pleasure
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)
I just did a massive yawn and need to catch a train to DERBYZ now.
I will be in EDINBURGH on friday. And ASSYNT on..every day next week.
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)
Spasticus Autisticus by Ian Dury & The Blockhead

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)
just one blockhead?
what happened to the rest of 'em?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)
Fell over. Found shiny things. Couldn't get up.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)
GASP!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

Ian Dury & The Blockhead The Specials
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
i have no idea, but i do now have a shard of glass in my arm, ouch
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)
I find it helps
if you don't let that happen.
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)
i'd liked it not to of happend, there is glass all over my desk, fucking exploding lamp bastards

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)
Go on then.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)
you won't regret it, or not, i don't really know, great times, no offence
great forum
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)
Opportunities
....lets make lots of money
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)
Never mind this, let's talk about Rod Stewart's song, 'Tonight I'm Yours'
Rod is basically the biggest cad in the world. If he was a female I'd be calling him a slut right now. In the song Rod talks of wooing a woman with the classy line "you need love and so do i" before saying "I don't want an everlasting thing, I don't care if I ever see you again."

What Rod is basically saying here is; let's fuck baby and then never see each other again.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)
he is a terrible man, even in do ya think i'm sexy he is advocating the women making the first move
i assume this is so when he fucks her and leaves her she cannot cry rape, he has all the moves that rod
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
He lays his cards on the table from the off.
He says listen bitch, I don't want to marry you, see you again or even remember you...I JUST WANT TO FUCK YOU AND LEAVE. If only more people were as honest as Rod.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
Not as good as "Stay with Me" which is him with the faces.
Contains the immortal line
"In the morning, dont say you love me, cause I'll only kick you out of the door"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)
Yeah I'll pay your cab fare home
you can even use my best cologne
Just dont be here in the morning when I wake up !
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)
What about "More Than Words" by Extreme?
All made out to be a slushy love song, and he's saying "fuck me or you're dumped".
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)
Dude
you just admitted to listening to the words of "more than words" by "extreme"

L O S E R....
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)
i wonder though if this approach could leave you alone more often than not, but then i expect many women felt they could change rod's mind after a night of passion, i expect they were wrong
he is one cool cat
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)
What would be your dream job?

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)
Ninja assasin

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)
I said dream job, not what you already do.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)
What's the point in having a dream,
if you can't have a dream come true?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)
Happy /talk

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)
*smoke bombs*

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)
why would you want to assassinate ninjas?

(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)
I never dreamt I had a job before.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)
I sometimes dream I've got a car.
That's quite weird.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)
Do you have a job or am I paying for you?
/Kyle
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)
Neither.
Well, technically I'm employed by Spacefish, but there's no actual work coming in at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)
Telly watching with arse scratching
No argument
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)
So, professional dole scum engineer then?

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)
For someone to pay me to make cartoons
like Zero Punctuation on the Escapist Magazine.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)
Working for Sony

(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)
WHY!?
Apart from getting cost price tellys and shit?
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)
Its a joke , based on who i currently work with

(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)
Helicopter Pilot
Ooo Test Pilot for Westland Helis would be my ultimate dream job.
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)
Oh yes. WINNAR!
I'd quite like that too as I have a PPLH
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)
I'd love to get my PPLH.
Maybe one day
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)
i'd like to write about games for a living, i think
last time i said this on here. red rocket forwarded me a link to some games website that were looking for writers. he did this because he is a bloody nice chap
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)
Something photography-based
maybe travel or fashion.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)
Fighter pilot
Astronaught.
Successful writer.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)
i'd like to wash cars in asda carpark, but the nigerians seem to have it sown up :(((((

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)
Get out there and start a turf war

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)
have a dumb question
What's a "Chav"?
(Dog Biscuit Boy MY AMERICAN BARF IS TASTIER,THAN YOURS., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:40, archived)
One of those
*points*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:41, archived)
I hope your not pointing at me !

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)
What, me?
Noooooooo.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:43, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:41, archived)

ahh so its our equivelent of a "Wigger"
(Dog Biscuit Boy MY AMERICAN BARF IS TASTIER,THAN YOURS., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:44, archived)
Not quite but close.
verymaladjusted.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/chav2.jpg

Pretty good example ^
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:46, archived)
The middle class snob in me clicked that picture off in utter disgust.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)
The upper class snob in me dispairs of society.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)
The lower class snob in me has a sore neck.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)
What about the penis in you?

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)
He's saying, "Cor... stinks of shit in here"

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)
what about the middle class in you?

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)
He's saying, "open your eyes and look at the previous post you doddering baffoon"

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)
Does it also despair
of your spelling?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)
It's all the inbreeding.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)
*sadface*
Just look at the neon shirt...
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)
i struggle to see any thing wrong with that picture, just some young lads out raving, so what

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:02, archived)
if you could see their feet,
you'd see that they are trampling all over some poor fella's bivvy
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)
nightclubs are no place to errect a bivvy

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)
they dragged it there from a peaceful riverbank
just to trample on it
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)
probably a tfg bivvy, they are really a pile of shit, why anyone buys them i'll never know
matt hayes should be ashamed to put his name on that product
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)
*nods blankly*
uh-huh
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)
Their dress sense is *terrible*,
that makes them terrible people.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)
That lot really like their burberry.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)
gods no
nothing so imaginative

a spide is scum in sports casual, with a fistful of soveregein rings, a bottle of bucky and a bumfluff moustache
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:47, archived)
No, that's someone in the fake hair trade.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:47, archived)
Get with it, yo.

(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)
fo' sheezey

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)
Yo' got my approval dawg.

(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)
f'snizzle rider

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)
I can't have sex with your personality,
And I can't put my penis in your college degree,
And I can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams,
So why're you sharing all this information with me?
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)
Different_Maybe

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)
a spide

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)
It's basically a Kev.
You know, a townie.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)
to us, kev always meant someone with a kevved-up car (usually an escort or crappy little peugeot or similar).
chavs don't necessarily have cars.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:48, archived)
Some of the ones round my way have got those tiny little motorbikes.
They get told off by the police for zooming up and down the pavement and trying to knock old people into a main road.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:49, archived)
monkeybikes!

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

ikes eer

mmm, cool and crisp
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)
a small forest dwelling animal on the cook islands, their distinct mating call of 'giv us a fag' marks them out as unique

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:43, archived)
oyliekgizafegweelaud erllnakyerbaleexinliek

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:44, archived)
i think this thread may suit
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:47, archived)
I would but I,m going to the dogs that night
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do when I get there but I'll be bringing lube and biscuits just in case
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:50, archived)
Council House And Violent

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:46, archived)
Compulsory Hysterectomies And Vasectomies
in a perfect world, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)
facist

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)
backronym

(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:01, archived)
No, you back your own nym.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:03, archived)
Someone who wears sportswear regardless of the amount of sport they're participating in.
I know by this logic I've included PE teachers, but they're cunts too.

I never call people chavs, it's much more fun to call them peasants or serfs.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:46, archived)
I CALL THEM MY MINIONS OF DOOM.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:50, archived)
Your minions of doom are right bell ends, binky.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:50, archived)
THEY WILL SILENCE YOU.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:03, archived)
Pfft, as if.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)
Does this include skate shoes?
Edit: also I find that "peons" goes down quite well.
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)
No, because then I'd be one.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)
:D
Good morning captain, how are you? Did you get some sleep last night?
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)
I did, ta.
I'm...ok. I want a new job before I need a new job.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)
:(
I'd hook you up with some agencies but I don't know your skillset, being lovely isn't specific enough apparently...
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)
It's a ned
A townie
A pikey

Y'know
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)
someone who lives here:
www.chavenage.com/
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:05, archived)
I see from the e3 trailer stuff that Beatles: Rock Band supports multiple microphones
for harmonies. This pleases me greatly.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)
yeah, up to 6 people in a band now
i've been trying to keep abreast of the e3 stuff but yesterday afternoon was frittered away at the beach so i missed some important information!
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)
SHUT UP

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)
OH HAI BLUE STAR
i went to the beach yesterday because it's only about 10 minutes from my house, y'know. it was very sunny and nice. i saw a man throwing his dog in the sea.
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)
Was it tied to a brick?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)
it was not
it was the entirely wholesome form dog-sea-throwing
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)
Did he stand there for a few moments afterwards holding a stick and looking confused?

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)
ahaha, that would have been excellent
but the reality was pretty cool too, he just kept picking it up by the front legs and swinging it into the sea. the dog loved it.
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)
there was a photo of someone doing that on the beach I live by in the national press calling the bloke a monster etc.
turns out the dog just loves being thrown into the sea.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)
yeah, there were some concerned bystanders
but the dog kept swimming back to him and wagging his tail

he was begging for it, the slag
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)
Our dog used to love running at the sea, but would then become scared and confused if it ever actually went in.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)
dogs are fun
it makes me laugh when they try to bite a stream of water
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)
Poor, anti-achievement hedonistic youths,
whose only aspiration is to live a celebrity lifestyle without doing anything to get it other than dressing like a "gangsta" and acting like they own the place.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)
I did my chemistry exam today. It was a total Mindfuck.
Made me wobble and panic and may or may not have made me leak water from my eyes.

I hope your days are much better then mine was.
love and fluffles.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:36, archived)
Just keep in mind that your exam results will have virtually no bearing on your future
Noone cares after you get your first job, and they barely care before then
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:54, archived)
Trying to keep that in mind
but want to do final year chem next year - and my school won't let us unless we pass year 11 first. :(
I love the class - i love blowing things up but equations? formulae? /bokes
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:57, archived)
Nah i hated all that bollocks too
Thats why i did Archaeology at uni.

Drinking and digging holes in hot countries. Now that i can manage.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:59, archived)
I can see how an office job in northern Scotland would appeal,
then.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:21, archived)
The two are so closely related it's hard to tell the difference sometimes

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)
If you hate equations and formulae
I'd guess that you don't really want to take chemistry further.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)
It's working out which ones I need to get what I want that I struggle with.
I know them all - it's just I really struggle to apply them - if that makes sense?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)
It does
are you planning on uni when you come to the UK?
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:22, archived)
ummm well I've always wanted to be a doc - an oncologist specifically,
but if I don't get into medicine I'd really love to be a teacher. Was thinking of doing uni if I can get perma residency. I can't go to uni until then - the visa I want is a working one.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)
That's working with Geese, right?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:27, archived)
Oncology? nae lad
Oncology is the study and research of cancer.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:30, archived)
HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:31, archived)
'ONK 'ONK 'ONK

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:31, archived)
isn't it more oink oink oink?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:32, archived)
Geese dont traditionally go 'oink'

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:34, archived)
Don't geese go 'Moo, moo'?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:34, archived)
The chicken goes' quack'

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:36, archived)
EQUATIONS WERE MY FAVOURITE.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)
oh oh oh and ALGEBRA.
fucking fantastic. ALL THE FUN.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)
I used to like rotating the taps upside down and then turning them on.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:22, archived)
My brother did really well with chemistry
Now he flogs feather soap to the chinese. Woodside has a massive degree in organic chemistry, as far as I am aware he makes salads in a restaurant for a living. Good morning and welcome to future disappointments.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:01, archived)
I imagine you use that last sentence with the ladies

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:02, archived)
Amazingly, my reputation goes before me.
Usually followed by "How the fuck did you get a bird like that?"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:04, archived)
rohypnol?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:06, archived)
True fact coming up
I kept her pissed for about a year until she couldn't remember why. I've got all the moves, girl. Oh yes.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:09, archived)
You sound a right charmer.
:)
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:14, archived)
Damn right.
I'm often to be seen in a white linen suite and cravat, regaling the folk of North Yorkshire with anecdotes that would make their daughters' collective virginities evaporate at the mere thought.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:17, archived)
He's a typical Yorkshireman
Dirty northerns.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:18, archived)
Yes.
Yes I am so very typical. Tha nos, 'appen as mebby.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:21, archived)
dear lord if that's your accent -
I'm not going to be able to understand a word you say!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:33, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNmKmkhF3Vo
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:37, archived)
I'm ashamed.....
I barely understood half of that!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:39, archived)
Ah, it's fine.

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:45, archived)
Not much accenting going on there

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:43, archived)
No, you can tell they're softening it for the cameras.

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:44, archived)
You should look up some of those Americans who think they can do English accents
They fail at every level all the time.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:45, archived)
I agree but Brits trying to do
american accents can be pretty funny too.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)
I only put it on for tourists

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:38, archived)
Agreed
Not many people I know are doing the job that they had set their minds on at College / University. Invariably when you first enter the employment market you take anything that offers cash, the struggle thereafter is to look out for something that suits you. It's always easier to get another job when you are already employed!
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:12, archived)
Exactly
your degree in drama has very little to do with your current career in the male escort industry
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:16, archived)
Ssshhh
I got promoted and now play piano in a Jakartan Brothel!
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:18, archived)
I finished my dgeree yesterday then got hammered.
Now I feel rough.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:10, archived)
Have you signed on yet?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:11, archived)
Not yet.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:12, archived)
You'll look back on your degree with love and joy when you see the forms you have to fill in

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:15, archived)
I'm signing on at ten o'clock. GOOD TIMES.
/waiting to start a new course in September.
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)
The girl was on about doing it too
The last time I heard students couldn't sign on during the holidays. Mind you, that was some time ago.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:29, archived)
I'm not a student anymore. Dropped out in November.

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:32, archived)
Oh you massive bender.
Get a job on the railway. They give you a pile of money for sitting about and bullying pensioners.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:34, archived)
Where do I apply?

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:35, archived)
1 Railway street, York
They don't like green crayon. A word from the wise.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:41, archived)
tut tut..

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:12, archived)
well done girlie
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:13, archived)
Ta. :)

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:15, archived)
WOO HOO ALL DONE.
how was it?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:13, archived)
A rollercoaster.
The geting hammered bit was fun though.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:16, archived)
YEAH right there.
WHAT NEXT FOR THE LIMEY TREAT?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:17, archived)
YAY i got the flickr uploader working on my iphone yesterday
www.flickr.com/photos/binkybee/3589103867/
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)
World domination. Natch.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)
can i play?
not all the time or anything. i need to retain frolicking time and naptime.

maybe every third weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:30, archived)
It's not going to be a full time pursuit.
More of a pass time. Every third weekend is perfect.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:34, archived)
And you got to meet me
Always a bonus.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:18, archived)
Well done
when do you get your results?
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:21, archived)
End of the month if I'm in Bristol in person.
Two weeks after that in the post.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:22, archived)
I never went to my graduation.
It's my single biggest indifference.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:23, archived)
But ...but...the photos?

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:29, archived)
Oh yer....
I mean, I totally went to my graduation and enjoyed it.

See!
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:36, archived)

er ri
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:27, archived)
WELL DONE MISS TREAT
Now you can get a job at the embassy and get involved in the spying business
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:29, archived)
There are never any adverts in the paper for Spying Jobs.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:36, archived)
No you get a job handing out the Ferrero Rocher and then at a soiree you spill them on a sexy spy's lap
You then end up embroilled in a series of unlikely events that save the Western world from the dirty Commies.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:39, archived)
I've decided to write a sexy book

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:35, archived)
Does it just go
Front cover
Vagina
Back cover
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:35, archived)
wow, i couldn't give a flying fuck about you or your fucking school work, fuck off

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:41, archived)
I've hurt my knee.
Good morning cunties.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:35, archived)
morning fuckface :)
I'm sorry about your knee. How'd ya do it?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:36, archived)
I hurt it scoring a RIDICULOUS amount of goals at football.
I've diagnosed medial collateral ligament strain as a result of awesomeness.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:45, archived)
how many is ridiculous?
none?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:48, archived)
No because it would not be ridiculous to expect someone to score nothing.
I'm talking double figures, baby. Although we did play over 90 minutes of five-a-side.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:49, archived)
Double Figures?!
/swoons
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:50, archived)
So, who famous are you related to?
...retarded by?
...retarted with?
...restarted at?
...reverted to?
...re...?

Plus, if you're retarded anyway, do you remember your previous tardness, and those who may have tarded against you, SO SAYITH THE LARD!?
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 4:14, archived)
My bosses have weird run-ins with fame
a poorly made replica of my one boss's head is in The Rock And Roll Hall of Fame, my other boss was hit by a car driven by a stoned Black Thought of The Roots, and the third got in the paper for being shot four times for no reason in South Philadelphia.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 4:27, archived)
Fuckin' ell!
I want to work where you work!
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 4:41, archived)
Charlie Kray
went to my sisters wedding.
(I helped save b3ta! bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 5:19, archived)
If I remember correctly, Ethan Allen, on my mom's side
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethan_Allen

There's a longtime rumor in my dad's side of the family that we have some relation to the royal Battenburgs, but I don't put much stock in that.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 5:29, archived)
oh hi Shiksa
thanks for the Walken link, that was great.

I am not familiar with Esquire but I also liked the Harry Dean Stanton one:
www.esquire.com/features/what-ive-learned/harry-dean-stanton-quotes-0109
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 5:37, archived)
oh hai Rap
glad you liked the link. Harry Dean is another cool old dude whose thoughts are well worth reading, thanks for sharing :)
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 5:44, archived)
hell yeah
 
Not unlike the esteemed Mr Walken, I have sat through a good many shitty movies solely because HDS was in 'em.

Also: I watched Joe Dirt the other night - WALKEN WAS HARDLY IN IT AT ALL.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 6:13, archived)
I haven't seen "Joe Dirt" but I've probably already seen Walken's best bits from it on YouTube.
I have "Brainstorm" in my DVD player right now. Bit of a downer, that one.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 6:16, archived)
because it was Natalie Wood's last film?
 
haven't seen it in a few years now.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 6:44, archived)
Yeah, all the drama with that
I think it derailed Walken's career a bit, too.

Time to get my arse back to bed.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 6:46, archived)
I love Harry Dean Stanton

(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 6:14, archived)
most of the cool folks do.

(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 6:17, archived)
Either Andrew Jackson
Or Andrew Johnson.

On my mother's side. Granny can't remember, just narrows it down by "whichever one I didn't like very much" or something to that effect.
(blinkin the merrily misanthropic IT gremlin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 6:53, archived)
I'm related to Jack Blackham
Very famous cricketer. He's my great great uncle or summat.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:34, archived)
ok... who broke it
own up.....
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 2:26, archived)
what?

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 2:40, archived)
Oh Dave.
You naughty boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 2:45, archived)
WHAT?
What's broken?
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 2:56, archived)
ANSWER MEEEEEEEE!

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 3:10, archived)

img32.imageshack.us/img32/5473/killerabs.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 3:38, archived)
Those are fair rabs.
Its where rabies come from!
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 4:15, archived)
exciting times

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 2:49, archived)
Innit

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 2:57, archived)
Hello.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 3:00, archived)
Evening fella

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 3:01, archived)

b3ta.belm.co.uk/barack
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 3:03, archived)
Someone on /Links seems to be upset at me for calling a band that they like shit.
Have you upset anyone recently? Both on and offline can count.

Edit: Actually, it seems that he was that upset at me that he deleted his post. This is a new one on me.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)
wah wah wah, i'm jackaction, mnggh
*a bit of poo comes out*
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)
I used to think you were cool :(

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)
I'm still trying to work out what the hell 4chan is.
I've been browsing the site. It's messy, makes no sense and it seems to be populated entirely by memes.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)
it's where comedy goes to die

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)
People rattle on about it so much here that I thought I'd check it out.
It's a mysterious fucking shit.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)
it's populated largely by pedophiles and people who think it's funnier to run jokes into the ground rather than invent new ones

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)
That's just not true.
half of /board's memes come from /b/
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)
It's hellish odd.
And the users can be a scary investigative bunch.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)
No, no.
You've confused 4chan with Scooby Doo. Again.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)
It's always the first character, that did it.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)
It is really bizarre.
It makes /talk look coherant and informative.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)
They get rid of old posts after a while.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)
It's a bit like a douche commerical....

(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 5:08, archived)
I think I found a b3tan on randomn.es
[REDACTED]
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)
Wow, that does.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)
lolololo
cleo ennit?
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)
Hello from the future

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)
i wouldn't let JMG in to my birthday party.
it was so sad. he was staring in the window at the other kids having fun with pass-the-parcel.
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)
After wiping my tears away I wrote a scathing complaint about said situation to the mods.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)
So it's you who does that.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)
*Head in hands*
No.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)
Oh god man.
*shakes head slowly*
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)
No idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)
Fair dues.
To be honest, I just fancied there being a new post.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)
It was a good idea.
Executed well.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

No, but I was recently upset by someone who had set as their mobile's ringtone, Alan Partridge saying "I'm HUNG LIKE A DONKEY"
I have already mentioned it here this week, but am not yet done with mentioning it. I may even mention it again in the near future, who knows.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)
Why are the songs/tunes played from mobile speakers in public places, invariably terrible.
What's wrong with a bit of classical, now and again.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

they do this outside stations etc to deter tramps
I think this is patronising. Why shouldn't tramps enjoy Handel?
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)
I'm sure
that there is some kind of rationale to this.

ie It's only the people who listen to 'that' sort of music that feel it's their right to subject it to everyone else. Whereas people who like their entertainment on a more cultural level know how not to act in a socially irresponsible way.

I'd love to see someone doing burnouts etc with Ride of the Valkeries blaring at full blast.
(I helped save b3ta! bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 5:18, archived)
I think I may have seen you mention this.
Did the original incident occur on a bus?
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)
Train
Owner of phone: clearly twat. Inflicting their shite taste on trapped passengers. I NEED TO LET GO OF THE ANGER
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)
Is that why you CHEATED at BINGO?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

*snort*
No that was because of issues from my childhood. oh wait. I didn't cheat.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)
I hold no animosity towards you for winning the bingo on the weekend.
Though I may get very pretend annoyed at you if you beat me next time.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

if when
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)
you were right though
www.b3ta.com/links/323240

the thread-deleting whiny little indie nobgobbler
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 3:15, archived)
You are good at finding "Fings" Rap...

(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 3:27, archived)
oh I just looked at JackAction's recent posts on links
without realising the thread had been deleted.

I don't know exactly how it works, but even when a deleted thread stops indexing in the boards or the search engine, the nested threads are easy enough to find.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 4:15, archived)
Right enough of the mykey vs mosquitos which one is more annoying
one last dance before bed

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cPQwT0LPFI

here are the moves if you don't remember them
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)
More girls should wear 70s cat suits.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

cat pug
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)
As long as they are still alive I'd have right Broom-On

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)
Most cat suits are a shit to get into.
And odds are you'll need to go the toilet as soon as you get it done up.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)
guff guff guff guff beeeeeeak

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)
Oh dear, Donkey Gums is broken

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)
borp borp borp

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)
quick flog him on ebay

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)
99p starting bid?

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)
Divide by 9 and you're there.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)
IF YOU WERE A SOCK I'D LOOSE YOU IN THE TUMBLE DRYER.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:27, archived)
If I were a sock, I'd be crusty and stuffed under your mattress.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)
That's the reason you were washed in the first place. SEXUAL BUILDUP

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)
i'm moving house in ten days
cardboard boxes are surprisingly expensive
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)
Tried Sainsbury's? they've usually got stacks of them for free,

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)
how common
i might try fortnum & masons tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)
They may sell you the skin of a seasoned waitor as some sort of napsack if you're lucky.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)
i'm thinking of hiring a tribe of pigmies to pass my possessions hand-to-hand from here to brighton.

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)
As will the skip of any warehouse that recycles cardboard packaging.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)
This,
Argos, the cheeky bastards, charge about £13 for 5 cardboard boxes.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)
what's wrong with taking them from skips?

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)
or ask em if they can save you some from their deliveries

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)
I've got a loftful, you could have nicked some.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)
i would take you up on that
but i'm not in Cov for ages now
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)
Apparently Wilkinsons does them cheap, according to MoT.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)
Wilkinsons smells of despair
my belongings smell of wee.
it's a bad combination.
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)
Just go into shops and ask if they have any spare boxes.
This may make you look like a bit of a tramp, mind, so it's up to you.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)
oh right, i thought it was the stinking clothes, dog on a string and can of Tennants Super that was giving me away.

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:47, archived)
No, all of those things mark you out as an individual.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)
i call it "hobo chic"
prepare to see it rocking the runways for spring/summer 2010
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:53, archived)
I fully expect to see this in OK! magazine next week.
It shall be the birth of a fashion phenomenon.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:55, archived)
seriously dude, i'm so fashion-forward
i swear that bit of kipper that got stuck in my beard triggered the whole nautical revival last season.
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:58, archived)
They are very serious for men wearing pink

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)
they are owning pink

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)
They are making pink their bitch.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:45, archived)
I'm sure this is great and all,
but if it's all the same to you, I'm not going to click it.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)
ripple strawberry minge paste

(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyqUj3PGHv4
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)
THAT is fuckin funny

(I helped save b3ta! BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)
Mosquitos
are wankers. That is all. Fucks
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)
Yeah great.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)
I got bitten tonight
ARE YOU ME??
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)
why not

(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)
mmm nim nim nim nim it was me biting you nim nim nim
and Oi = www.b3ta.com/talk/6192972 I'm not simple, I'm pretty. There's a difference.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)
Pretty simple?

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)
That's the one :)
:'(
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)
*ruffles hair*

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)
*pats at boobs like a playful cat*
Meeeeeeeeeew!
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)
Daaww, look at your happy little face.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)
This is almost as bad as watching a KillerKitti thread on /board.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)
If you were any closer I'd fucking throw up on your haircut, don't ever insult me like that again.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)
On my haircut?
So, the hair that was cut off, not the hair on my head?

Go for it!
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)
PUBE-CHUCK UP

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)
I'm not old,
I just know how to wash, there's a difference.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)
+ you hairy fuck,

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)
I'm very clean, trimmed facial hair, no spit ends, designer fragrance
You must be so clean that you've worn away your skin with the all the scrubbing :D
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)
Yeah yeah,
are you doing anything on thursday after work? I've got a meeting on the south bank.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)
I'm going out with some boy mates and probably lots of girls if you fancy it?
I'm going to be around Holborn, bust me a guz dude :)
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)
I'll gaz you tommoz,
got to be gone by about 10:30 11ish though
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)
But what about the free strippers?!?!?!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)
You know I shouldn't be allowed around women,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)
Dude, just go for the one's that haven't got boyfriends and you'd be golden dude :)

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)
I wish to hear from the mosquito representative.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)
*Solemnly approaches the lectern*
*shuffles speech notes*
*clears throat*
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)
*slaps thigh*
hahahaha

Sorry folks, I'm kidding with you.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:43, archived)
I represent mosquitos from the internet, and on behalf of our members, I
put it to the complainant that he is a fucking cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)
Excellent point.
Well made.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)
don't forget
"fat". Seems to be important
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)
Can't say that word, it makes Mykey stir from his slumber.
Still, he'll see this when he searches for his username at work tomorrow morning. I bet he'll be FUMING inside when he reads this.
He can't acknowledge it, y'see.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)
Pfft.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)
The perils of being an internet gossip.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)
He's ABOVE THIS, you know.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)
Of course. My word, even Jack Action has
got his number, and, no offence, you sound like a gay army toy.
Love you really :)
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)
To be fair, someone his size is above pretty much everything.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)
I bought one of your kissbert shirts :(

Actually, I have an audition for some gameshow next Tuesday, and I WAS going to wear this shirt. You may have just spoiled your chances.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)
You could send it to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)
Spoilsport!
There are now only 2 people somewhere in the world with Cuffbert style T shirt on who I don't know about. I think one is a punk who asked me where I got my shirt from.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)
It's a nice shirt.
I wore it when I went to That London the other week, in the vain hope that someone might recognise it.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)
civilised people shun cuffbert
in fact, you were lucky you weren't ejected from the city.
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)
I did see several people with torches gathering around the train as I left...

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)
all londoners carry torches
because of the fog
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)
No one will ever recognise them.
That's half the beauty. Especially when people ask where you got it from, which has happened with 2 of the 3 I have. I don't have the Kissbert one though.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)
He'll be too busy murdering children.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)
'I ATE A BABY' etc.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)
Because MYKEYBOY IS A FAT BASTARD, you see.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)
How fat
is Mykeyboy?
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)
As fat as me.
Which is fairly fucking huge.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)
He's the reason they declassified Pluto.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)
Twice as wide as Friz's face.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)
I heard Friz managed 4 snooker balls yesterday.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)
Christ, his colon must be so slack.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)
They just flew out the other end.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)
He has his own postcode.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)
Imagine all the people.
That's Mykey.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)
Among all the fucking pigs on here, about average.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)
I'm just eating lots becuase i'm worried about my exams!

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)
It's water retention!
water cake
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)
smaller fat b3tans orbit him

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)
What percentage
of b3tans are actually fat? Like clinically obese? Could b3ta be the obesity capital of the UK? Like Rotherham. Or the queue at KFC?
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)
100%.
That's what b3tans are; fat, hopeless losers who are so worthless that they should be pathetically grateful every time life grants them any kind of opportunity to improve their lot. Except me of course, I'm brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)
we should do a weigh-in instead a roll call

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)
I think you should conduct an improptu poll.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)
You didn't say that he's more evil than Satan^(9-11).
Therefore, I conclude that you are a sympathiser, and probably one of his subsidiary accounts as well.

GO VITRIOL-BOT, GO. BRING ME THE CORPSE OF THIS HERETIC.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)
It amuses me the way he bangs on about it being 'funny because he's fat'
when it's actually just funny because he's a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)
This.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)
I like the way he gets in the jokes about being fat first.
Like Eminem in the finale of 8 mile.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)
I AM DOLE I AM A FUCKING BUM
I DO LIVE IN A TRAILER WITH MY MUM
I DO REPEAT MYSELF ALL OF THE TIME
YOU CAN'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT MY HEAD CAUSE OF THE SHINE.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)
I can't call you blue name anymore.
*shakes fist at you*
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)
k blue name.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)
I wrote mike woz ere is a cunt plus other insults in my profile.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

lololol
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)
*spuffs in your drink*

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)
Haha, sweet Christ this is good.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2OI7sogwqY
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)
there's norway ... and you can have it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2xHydbw8mQ
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)
*declares martial law*

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)
+one of the greatest cop shows ever made*

*about a Chinese guy in LA
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)
I always meant to watch that.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)
They've withdrawn their ambassador following the unforgiveable insult from MightyX5.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)
Bugger.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)
Put wasps on the list too.
Let's not make this a mosquitoes only list.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)
Wasps
are even worse. They are truly the Supertennents-swilling shouty tramp of the insect world.

And I'm not allergic to mosquitos.
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)
Don't want to be seen for the terrible racist you are?
Pretending to be even handed
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)
Put cats on the list too.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)
twice
for good measure
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)
After a lengthy chat with mosquitos,
I've come to the the conclusion that they all think you're a massive cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)
I wouldn't have it
any other way
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)
they suck

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)
a comment and fact.
*applause*
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)
Airline food, what's all that about? Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)
They serve it on planes.
Some of it is okay, but the choice is always limited.
Overall it is a decent service on most airlines considering limitations of weight and on board storage size.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)
The Air France food has been soggy of late.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)
*something about watering down the booze*

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)
it's about £6 for a BLT sandwich

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)
Daddy long legs are worse.
I hate them so very much.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)
Well they're by no means "worse"
But they're still shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)
They're worse
from their point of view. Seeing as the mosquitos can actually bite. And the daddy long legs can't. Silly toothless twats
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)
Why don't you just leave flying insects the fuck alone, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)
Why can't they leave me alone?
My blood is clearly so damn tasty
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)
I love those things.
As does the dog.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)
Errgh no *Shudder*
I don't like how their legs dangle as they fly. They're the worst thing about summer.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)
that's just how the crane flies

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)
isn't it how the horse flies?
Flying horses, wtf next
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)
I HAVE FINISHED MY MOTHERTRUCKING DEGREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Wooooop.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)
lololol thats what you think.
3rd year resit I'm calling.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)
I did third year ages ago.
Long courses are where it's at.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)
If you find your opportunities are less than brilliant, don't expect the careers advisor(s) to be in any way helpful.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)
I know. I have shit prospects innit. Things will be okl.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)
Wankers?
This explains the buzzing noise. They are all equipped with vibrators.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)
TGB!
Discuss.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)
I'd love to see him topless.

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)
no, Karl is still the best JMG wannabe

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)
It took me far too long to realise what TGB meant
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)
*something about how you're stupid*

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)
Always enjoy replies.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)
RUBBISH NAME

(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)
Have we discussed the supposed naked self-photo of Katy Perry.
I don't think it's her.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)
This is the news.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)
You just put extra pressure on the Google Images server :-(

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)
The tiles of local takeaways are lightened, however.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)
:O

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)
FAUX LESBIAN INTEREST SICKENS ME.
Just so you all know.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)
Whatever
Show me the pic.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)
OK!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)
It's the same girl
who pretended to be Miley Cyrus. But she's had Perry's face tattooed on her face.
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)
I've had her, she queefed like a euphonium full of Vaseline

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)
That's what she told you.
She'd actually farted.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)
I would post a sarcastic reply.
But all the fat dole-scrounging scrubbers on here would then queue up to berate me for being "bitter" and "misogynist". Assuming they knew what the latter meant, which is is unlikely as they're all lazy and illiterate.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)
missodginist
i can't be botherd to cheque for spelling
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)
Misogynistic
is surely the correct word there?
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)
or "a misogynist"
fuck knows, someone ask Oxford
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)
True, but they wouldn't know that.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)
wrong nose
hips too wide
(I helped save b3ta! Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)
Fair enough.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)
It's being reported Kaka has gone to Real.
But this must be about the 4th time, now..
:(


What are your pre-season plans?
Asides dinner.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:27, archived)
right you cunt your off the kist, blocked

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)
:(!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)
you ruined my thread, but i'll some how in forum banter chose it as banter, great forum

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)
I'd enjoy readng who people have on block.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:29, archived)
kaka
poopoo
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:29, archived)
my plans mostly involve extreme sarcasm and occasionally punching toddlers in the face

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:29, archived)
FAIR WELL, GOOD G!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)
JMG is not Baby P

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)
I'm not even going to pretend I know what you are talking about
*thinks of shoes instead*
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)
pre-seasen training
7 or 10s, a litte bit of basketball and footy with work on the astro pitches.

aside from that, it is good clean fun and possibly a tournament in August.

what about yours?
(I helped save b3ta! Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)
Sweating over the future.
Drinking it off.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)
how come?
it will never be that bad.

Also I thought you meant in a sporty kind of way
(I helped save b3ta! Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)
Heard that earlier as well.
Then I was told that Chelsea made a bigger offer just before he signed. Apparently Man City are bidding.

A load of ol' bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)
you've got to admire City's determination in the face of continual abject failure
especially as they're now taking the Chelsea attitude of trying to buy success

they are scum though, I fucking hate City fans a LOT
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)
I'd love to hear what they told Gareth Barry in order to get him to turn down the UEFA cup next year.
Although with the ridiculous wages they can offer, I guess they just waved a cheque in his face.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)
Same as last year.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)
bivvy alert on BBC4, stat!

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)
i enjoy this angry b3ta, it makes me smile sometimes, or not
i have nobody on ignore as it aint that important to me

anyone on ignore for you?
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:27, archived)
I've nobody on ignore.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:27, archived)
Gonzo, because I can't stand his retard typing.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:27, archived)
Actually, I do that occasionally.
When he gets too annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)
It just makes my eyes hurt trying to decipher his nonsense.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:29, archived)
I enjoy that
It makes me smile.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)
Spagetti hopes still makes me laugh.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)
thing is, when you've expended all that effort and you finally understand what he's saying
it's usually some dull crap about food or some childishly creepy pandering to anything with tits and a pulse
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)
I have tits and a pulse and he never panders to me.
*Sobs*
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)
Exactly.
It's not even worth reading in the first place.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)
hahahahahaha
you've been trolled
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)
Nah, it wipes out too much.
Gilgy's script hides most of the bollocks like cock tuesday and ym, and replaces it with kittens.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)
Nobody.
I'm not that feeble minded.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)
Angry b3ta can be funny
When it isn't just spiteful bitching.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:29, archived)
Mykey is Queen bitch, though.
:(
This is very much an ironic twist from the North. It's a good job he can't see this.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:29, archived)
Perhaps someone from the 1.5% will let him know.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)
As I said, most of it can be funny

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)
Is it more funny when it's your offline friends?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)
Not particularly
It's more funny when it's not purely spiteful.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)
Nope.
Nobody that counts anyway. I have a couple of spammers and annoying QOTW posters on there.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)
3 people,
but two of them are ding.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)
myself

(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)
Bob Todd

(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)
Everyone.
I love a blank board.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)
Apparently I am ignoring:
Barry Chuckle III
BraynDedd
Jam Master Geordie
Bou :
Mortal Wombat

Can't remember why/when I blocked them. Or who they are.
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)
MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE! GOT ANOTHER ONE!

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)
I'm sorry, could you repeat that, please?
Only translate it into spazz for my benefit?
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)
Dekionplexis

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)
I've got hay fever
but it's ok, I took some tablets
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
Will this cause you to become terribly upset at me?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
It's a good job you can't see any of this.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
i feel you may need a bit of troll coaching jmg, i'm surprised at this, but, meh

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)
I'm certainly no troll.
Everybody likes me.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)
anybody who has an online opinion is a troll, the laughable idea that anyone cares upsets many
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:18, archived)
I don't really play games on here.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)
it's bingo, don't you get all shitty at me young man,

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:23, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6193790
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)
Fucking YES.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:15, archived)
OHH DRUID!
:(((((
Poor Mykey.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)
I can't work it out Druid.
His only mode of insult towards me is that I am fat, yet he cries lardy lardy tears when the same thing happens to him.

It's almost as if he is a hypocrite.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:18, archived)
Isn't he the kind of fat that results in a fine film of grease coating his face at all times?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)
Damion fat?

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:21, archived)
Pfffft

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:22, archived)
Is that the technical term?
Yeah, that.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:22, archived)
fuck of cufbert boy, you shouted me as a racist for ages, not having a clue who i am
rubbish
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)
Racist.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:23, archived)
Haha!
Thank CHRIST somebody sensible is here.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
At the mercy of the pollen index.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:12, archived)
i bet it's that mykey fella he is an alful troll, he upsets fat lasses and others, ban him

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:12, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6184570
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)
Hahahahaha you're allergic to nature.
Prick.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:12, archived)
Oh thank god
I was worried.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)
Fuck off, you live in Salford. The only green things near there are the necks of scallies wearing Elizabeth Duke 'gold' jewellery.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)

Salford Manchester
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:15, archived)
He lives in Salford, although I would agree with your strike through.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)
actually, ACTUALLY
I've moved, I live in Manchester now

so yeah
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)
Yes, but what I said is still true.
I was much better in the North. The South is trying to kill me.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:22, archived)
I just sneeze a bit when the pollen count is very high
then I take some tablets and I stop sneezing

then I come here and tell everyone about it

at no point do I feel the need to slap my private healthcare cock in everyone's face
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)
Pfft.
I get rushed off to the hospital and plied with ventolin. It' fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)
Dream on, Billy Liar.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)
Moral dilema
My cat has kidney failure. She can have medicated food that she doesn't like but live a bit longer, or have food thats not good for her but at least enjoy the shortened life.

What would you do?
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:10, archived)
Buy a dog.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:10, archived)
I do prefer dogs over cats, in the household.
This is my, and therefore correct view.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
Dogs can be trained to be useful.
Cats are selfish lumps of wanker that shit and puke on the soft furnishings.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:12, archived)
SUPER ESME TO THE RESCUE

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
I NO

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
Get her used to the medicated food
it wont be that hard and it will be worth it
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
It will be that hard.
Cats are bastards to wean on to new food.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:13, archived)
This.
Especially when they are very sick.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:19, archived)
Fucking impossible.
I've only ever got a cat to eat k/d when it's puréed, heated, and syringed into them.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:21, archived)
BUPA

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)

1)make royal fuss of cat
2) decide whether she enjoys enough other stuff to make slightly shit food, on balance, bearable
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
Give her the nice food.
To be honest, the food will not help at this stage. I presume it's Hill's k/d, or Royal Canin renal?

Cats are fucking impossible to get onto food they don't want, even as young cats, which I'm guessing yours isn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)
kd plus pills.
Her back legs are starting to go too. Its heart breaking.
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:12, archived)
:(
Is it Fortekor? The meds will help a lot more than the food. They only really support the meds, in the early stages it makes more of a difference.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)
Nice food

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:12, archived)
rape everything in a 50 mile radius
then when you get your breath back, start raping again
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:13, archived)
nice food
have her stuffed and set onto your mantel
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:13, archived)
give it a big wet sloppy kiss then snap its neck like a dry twig

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 22:22, archived)

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