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DIRECT KICK, £5

(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:54, archived)
INDIRECT FREE KICK!

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:34, archived)
[some random Hurling term to appease Dr Preference]

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:35, archived)
you get goals in Hurling (and Gaelic too)

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:35, archived)
*Raises flag*
OFFSIDE!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:38, archived)
*dives to the gound like a girl because somebody made a limp-wristed tackle*

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:39, archived)
*Penalty given*

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:40, archived)
*harasses referee*

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:44, archived)
It's a fuckin' disgrace,
or something.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:47, archived)
OH GOD HIS LEGS HAVE COME CLEAN OFF
THIS IS A DISASTER FOR TEAM MANCHESTER
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:39, archived)
THERE'LL BE DANCING ON THE STREETS OF ARSENAL TONIGHT

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:41, archived)
not given the current scoreline

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:42, archived)
THERE WILL BE CELEBRATIONS ON THE STREETS OF TOTAL NETWORK SOLUTIONS TONIGHT!

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:43, archived)
WOW THAT'S JUST LIKE WHAT I WROTE ONLY VERY SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT WELL DONE

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:45, archived)
I WILL TAKE YOUR COMPLIMENT AND EAT IT, NOM NOM NOM CONGRATULATIONS, NEEDS MORE MUSTARD

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:46, archived)
SHOVE YOUR MUSTARD UP YOUR HOLE

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:50, archived)
My top 3 Welsh Premier League teams.
1) Technogroup Welshpool
2) Airbus UK
3) TNS - The New Saints (Formerly Total Network Solutions)
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:45, archived)
chip off the goalkeeper resulting in a corner
he scores a try while touching down in the crease.

I don't watch sports.
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:39, archived)
Homo.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:40, archived)
STOP TRYING TO TOUCH HIS CREASE

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:41, archived)
you are

(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:41, archived)
yea, but what team do you support?

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:40, archived)
Them over there

(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:43, archived)
If he slam dunks a home run they'll only need two touchdowns to get a TKO.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:41, archived)
GOAL!
EDIT: AND ANOTHER!
YET ANOTHER EDIT: YET ANOTHER GOAL!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:30, archived)
ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOUR SOUL.
YOU'VE GOT THE POWER TO KN...

Wait, you said "goal" didn't you?

My bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:31, archived)
True.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:32, archived)
BA BABA BAAAA BAAAAAAA
I know this much...
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:39, archived)
This would have been funnier if you didn't explain the joke
I still clicked it anyway
(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:32, archived)
EXPERT ON COMEDY, RIGHT HERE

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:33, archived)
It's nice he passes on his knowledge.

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:34, archived)
There is a lot we can learn from Friz!

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:37, archived)
:D

(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:38, archived)
I can tell you how to get lucky with the ladies, too!

(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:38, archived)
I don't want your sick advice on how to get struggle snuggles,
you big rapebomb.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:40, archived)
I'm glad you think so

(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:34, archived)
THE FOOTBALL

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:31, archived)
WATCH IT. WATCH THE FOOTBALL.
IT'S GOING TO MOVE

FOOTBALL
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:33, archived)
I enjoyed the two earlier this afternoon more

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:32, archived)
I did but I didn't.
If Man City would have won they would have jumped above spurs, but at the same time most people who support teams outside the top four (apart from Everton fans) want Liverpool to win the title.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:33, archived)
But if Liverpool won
people would start thinking Rafa Benitez is a good manager!
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:34, archived)
He is.
He's not a man manager, but he's very good tactically.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:35, archived)
I still convinced he's mentally deranged
and his running up and down the sidelines flapping his arms is an attempt to fly
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:36, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:34, archived)
Do you know what?
I'm going to watch The Da Vinci Code tonight, AND I'm going to enjoy it. I thought the book (of which I read two pages and so can make a sound informed judgement) was utter tosh, and the plot utterly preposterous. I also fear that the film will be severely lacking in Karate Priests and Kung Fu Vicars, and I find Tom Hanks to be quite rubbish in anything that isn't Big or The Burbs, but I'm going to bloody enjoy this one.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:24, archived)
I really don't want to go work today.
I'm in a foul mood.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:24, archived)
You do that

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:25, archived)
is the Da Vinci Code like the hanky code?

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:25, archived)
If you have an unworkable design for a flying machine in your left pocket, it means you're gay.
A completely shit design for a tank in your right pocket and you're a logical positivist.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
exactly
Stuff the Mona Lisa in your back pocket: 2-handed fisting and piss games
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
I've got his mural of the last supper in the Convent of Sta. Maria delle Grazie tied around my head, what does this mean?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:30, archived)
is the Hanky Code a secret formula as to the correct amount of lies to include in a QOTW post to reach the best of page?

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
is this an internet whinge?
i'm not sure.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:29, archived)
It's the only film I didn't walk out of but would've walked out of if I were the film walking out of sort

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:25, archived)
The film is shitter than the book.
Despite the book being one of the shittest things I've ever read.

Seeing how I often read back my own posts, that's pretty shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:25, archived)
I don't know why, but I quite enjoyed the book.
I think it was all the faux-historical stuff that made me look up actual real history stuff that I found very interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:28, archived)
So it wasn't the book itself, but the indirect joy you got from it.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:29, archived)
I enjoyed it the first time I read it
as the plot moved sufficiently quickly to prevent me from thinking about any of it, but I tried reading it again a while later and hated it.
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:29, archived)
the only saving grace for that film was Sir Ian McKellan's performance

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:25, archived)
Audrey Tautou managed to actually look attractive.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:26, archived)
She always does.
She's an attractive woman.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
She is.
but the only other thing I've seen her in was Amelie, and she looked fucking odd in that film.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:28, archived)
I squealed like a proper girly girl the first time Paul Bettany came on screen.
I've read all Dan Brown's books. I liked The Da Vinci Code for the Paris-ness, but I though Angels and Demons were best. Actually, they're going on my list of books to read when I am allowed to read books of my own choice. They're good non-thinking books.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
I have a bit of a wrong crush on Paul Bettany.
Him and Chris Marshall.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:29, archived)
I know I'm only a man,
but is Paul Bettany a "wrong" crush?

He's an attractive man.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:30, archived)
He's a little bit odd looking.
He is very attractive, just....odd.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:32, archived)
Paul Bettany, you say?
www.lost.com/images/mader2.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:36, archived)
Ooh yes. Chris Marshall would get it.
I'm not so keen on Paul Bettany, but he does look a bit like Rupert Benbury-Henbry-Pembry what his name is from Spooks who's a hottie.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:34, archived)
You are so whipped.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:28, archived)
Whipped, my arse.
The Woman thinks we're off out for a meal.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:34, archived)
It's rubbish.
Even if you suspend belief (as you should when you watch a movie) it's rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:33, archived)
JMG etc.
Who'd like to make a scene in a bid to be noticed?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:58, archived)
What?! No mention of FOOTBALL?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:59, archived)
We're not on until tomorrow.
I want a CHELSEA WIN, this afternoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:59, archived)
I'm supporting Arsenal
as I dislike them less than Chelsea this season
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:00, archived)
Yeah and Chelsea have Drogba who is a cunt.
If he hadn't have been a massive cunt in the semi-final, those cunt's would not doubt not have scored in extra time and Drogba wouldn't have had to be a cunt after the whistle from the cunt ref.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:03, archived)
MASSIVE game tomorrow.
I predict the winning goal will be scored by Hilary Duff or Overfriendly Martins.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
I can envisage a Harold Bishop header at some point.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
*Diving header*

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:08, archived)
*Firm handshakes all round*

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:10, archived)
Unless you mean an own goal I disagree.
Boro 3-1.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:21, archived)
OH JMG

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:00, archived)
SSG!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:01, archived)
Now it gets interesting!

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:05, archived)
I bought a car JMG
This makes me 98.5% more attractive I reckon
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:01, archived)
I found that after my taking of Mr. T.,
The women flocked to get in it at all hours.

Cars are great.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:02, archived)
I've been driving places
offline
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:03, archived)
I drove through the Bigg Market last night.
I could have taken out hundreds.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:04, archived)
I imagine driving is more difficult with you
what with the hoards of gi*ls throwing themselves at you in lust
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
Sometimes I have Handsome Gav drive behind me to distract them.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:07, archived)
What colour?
/girlie
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:02, archived)
Silver

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:03, archived)
is it... a german car?

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
french

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:07, archived)
magnifique!

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:09, archived)
Shitroen or Poogeot?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:10, archived)
the other one

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
Could be a Rectault

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
Is silver not the new brown?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:07, archived)
Only if I can make the scenes out of fuzzy felts.

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:02, archived)
IT IS APPROVED!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:03, archived)
Fluzzy felts would be better.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:05, archived)
Fuzzy felt is ace
If I had children I would just force them to play with toys that I like.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
I'm sure you can get put on a register for forcing a child to play with a Rampant Rabbit.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:13, archived)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
I have been to the park
I played on the swings with my cousin. He's so cute.

Now I have to go to Asda and I'm putting it off as I really can't be bummed.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:10, archived)
*bums you*

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:10, archived)
Not that kind of bummed

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
How many bums have you got?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:13, archived)
Five

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
Convenient.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:17, archived)
ME ME, NOTICE ME.
ATTENTION FOR ME.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 16:20, archived)
Best documentry series?
Planet Earth or World at War?
(Peter_G, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:42, archived)
Seven Wonders of the Industrial Revolution
Awesomely done
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:43, archived)
true
also, why isn't my poll showing?
(Peter_G, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:44, archived)
Don't worry, it's what you do with it that counts.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:44, archived)
Poll?
I dunno, maybe he is doing some concreting
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
I'll show you my poll (pole (penis))

(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
it's an image.
Thems not allowed here, boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:46, archived)
Not that you get a FUCKING MASSIVE WARNING MESSAGE when you start a thread or anything.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:49, archived)
because you're a fat spastic and your penis has Downs syndrome

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:50, archived)
That's what she said?

(Peter_G, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:50, archived)
No, she called you a pathetic excuse for a man and left you for your Dad.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:53, archived)
the only good poll is a deed poll

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:57, archived)
Stevie Wonder's Industrial Revolution.
Interesting album.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:47, archived)
Yes, that was very good

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:58, archived)
Yeah, his mum was an alco too.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:43, archived)
The Boy With an Arse For A Face

(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:43, archived)
How much did you get paid to star in that?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:44, archived)
Ah, good switch around
This is humour happening right here
(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:44, archived)
Can I say what a fine comeback sir.

(Peter_G, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
You've confused that documentary with this one
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M9uQsIEprU
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 16:13, archived)
Balsa - A Sinister Force Throughout History.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:43, archived)
thundercats

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:44, archived)
Matrix Revolutions

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
I love you, Frank

(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
Pringles

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:47, archived)
Allo Allo.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 15:47, archived)
Button Moon

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:49, archived)
PLANET EARTH AT WAR
Episode 3, Nazi Koalas Vs. Soviet Badgers.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:49, archived)
Any of Louis Theroux's stuff.
Or Tribe or Amazon. I heart Bruce Parry. Or that BBC4 series about Islam and Science. Or the BBC4 series about jazz legends.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:49, archived)
Louis Theroux is Therouxly shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:50, archived)
no, those are all shit

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:51, archived)
Cathouse.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:50, archived)
Cum Swapping Sluts.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:51, archived)
1 or 2?
Both were shockingly true to life, BAFTA-nominated productions.
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:54, archived)
I was refering to the series as a whole.
The lighting in particular was breathtaking.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:56, archived)
Only one way to find out...

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:59, archived)
I was supposed to hire a dj for next saturday, but now the people running the event have decided they don't want one.
So, if anybody here is a dj and isn't available next weekend, give me a shout as I've no work to offer you.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:05, archived)
I'm not a DJ, but I'm not available next weekend
Might I be of assistance?
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:06, archived)
That depends, I need someone who won't show up from ten o'clock to half twelve.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:07, archived)
Is the venue at my parents house?

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:08, archived)
No, it's at Aidan's parents' house.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:09, archived)
I'm perfect for this job
I'll go sign off immediately
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:10, archived)
Excellent work.
I'll not see you next week, so.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:11, archived)
did he ever find out if xbox films stream or have to be downloaded before watching?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:11, archived)
Of course he did.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:11, archived)
I got an ipod and some travel-speakers, if you want me to do the gig.
Isn't that what most DJs do these days anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:08, archived)
If I wanted a DJ that'd be perfect.
So, no.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:09, archived)
all the best clubs use travel speakers
yes
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:09, archived)
I reckon all you need is a laptop and Spotify these days
It must be piss easy to be a DJ now. You dont need piles of cds or record.
(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:09, archived)
I think the only thing preventing me from being a DJ
is my piss poor taste in music
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:11, archived)
I wonder what the law is regarding the PRS and sites like spotify
edit: google to the rescue, nay mind
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
And a reliable internet connection
and a way to fade the ads when Spotify plays them and maybe a way to mix them.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:39, archived)
look I'm sorry, it's impossible
there's no way I can't turn up you'll just have to try harder
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:10, archived)
I'm trying 6% harder as it is.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
I understand that you're desperate
but I can't possibly not book the tickets tomorrow and the hotels have absolutely no unvacant rooms
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:32, archived)
It's really very far out of your way.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:34, archived)
It's a bit far.
And the only record I've got is Slayer: Angel Of Death.
And it didn't go down at all well at that Bah Mitzvah last week.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
My first play ended with that record played very loud to get everybody out of the theatre.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:15, archived)
was it your year 5 nativity?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:30, archived)
Nah, in primary school we only ever did Beckett.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

www.glastonbridge.co.uk/amy/Welsh_flag_better.png
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:19, archived)
Instead of a dragon they should have a side of beef.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:20, archived)
I'm surprised they don't have a leek or something.
I like leeks.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:21, archived)
This sounds like you're a taff sympathiser.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:22, archived)
Rubbish.
I see no CDC.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 15:22, archived)
yes, hello
delayed reply due to bowel-emptying
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:44, archived)
I like that.
I'll take it to the big meet of all Welsh people tomorrow. The board should have it up and running by Wednesday.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:22, archived)
Will the Mayor of Wales be there?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:24, archived)
I reckon the dragon's still a bit overcomplex,
I'll see if I can do a more stylised version.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:25, archived)
They should have a screenshot from one of the Lord Of The Rings dragons.
Or maybe Falco from Never Ending Story.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:25, archived)
No,
but if someone would kindly bring me a cup of tea I would appreciate this muchly.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:17, archived)
Nobody's going to get you tea.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:20, archived)
My housemate will as soon as he gets back from his meeting.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 15:21, archived)
I'm a dj & I'm not available next Saturday
How much am I not going to be earning for the event?
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:40, archived)
Two hundred euros.
Which isn't much, but you won't be playing at a fundraiser.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:41, archived)
fuck off and get your own gig
www.b3ta.com/talk/6138593
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:42, archived)
GAZ IM ME
Did Bobson's abseiling make the news yesterday? I saw there's a little piece on the beeb website, but I didn't catch a glimpse of /talk's favourite little ginge.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:45, archived)
Why would a story about Bobson mention BlueStar?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

BlueStar Easty
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:48, archived)
I said favourite little ginge.
Not lully tiny lully shouty lully.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
MAKE UP YOUR MIND

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:52, archived)
Shhh.
i fear teh ginge rage
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
christ the Formula 1 was dull today
hello
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
i got in a fight last night.

(I helped save b3ta! TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
A meatspace fight?
or other?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:50, archived)
oh, real fight. it was pretty fun.

(I helped save b3ta! TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:51, archived)
Did you beat her?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:52, archived)
blimey
was any girly hair-pulling involved? or was it a rubbish fight?

tell me later, I'm going for a really big crap now
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:52, archived)
And you did get those sweets off her in the end.
;p
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 15:00, archived)
The general jist is I went to meet up with some girl in the middle of Clayton [about 20 minute drive from where I live]
because she was on her own and I didn't want her to end up being raped or mugged or anything, as I got there, her boyfriend [that she'd punched in the face 30 minutes before] turned up
and he decided to kick off with me.
(I helped save b3ta! TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:05, archived)
Oh.
He sounds like an eminently reasonable chap.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 15:10, archived)
Did you win?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:10, archived)
Classy bird

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:10, archived)
so let me get this straight
you drugged her and tried to rape her but she woke up and kicked the shit out of you before you could get your y-fronts off?
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:16, archived)
It's always dull.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
'Ning Gilgy.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
Even more dull than the usual driving round in a circle a hundred times
trying not to overtake anyone?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:50, archived)
Any sport can be made to sound dull if you actually describe it.

(I helped save b3ta! OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:53, archived)
Paintball sky diving....
Yeah', anyone can hang in the air from some wires while shooting paint at eachother.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
That's not a sport.

(I helped save b3ta! OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:56, archived)
It might be.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
well you'd best phone up the director of the paintball skydiving sony ericsonn league and tell him

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:59, archived)
He doesn't exist.
So no.
(I helped save b3ta! OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

http://www.deagostini.com.au/ilovehorses/?
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:03, archived)
oh I fucked that up

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:03, archived)
I'm tempted to click on it
out of sympathy
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
You could also make any sport sound much better by adding unnecessary adjectives.
Super Awesomely Fast Automobile Racing Contest!

Now with added VRROOOMMM!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:59, archived)
Superlative.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:00, archived)
Superlativist.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:02, archived)
Ostentatious Foxy Boxing?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:04, archived)
except dinosaur hurling

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
no...
not snooker.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
INTERNET PERSON IN NOT ENJOYING SPORT SHOCKER!
full story and analysis pages 3 to 15

plus free cream cake for every reader!
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
squirty cream or whipped cream?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
It's nothing to do with it being a sport,
it's to do with it being very dull indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
I can imagine it being dull watching it at the race track.
Watching only one section of the track, and being unable to distinguish one driver from the next.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:01, archived)
Yeah,
I've wondered that before. You'd hardly see anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:02, archived)
football is much more interesting

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:53, archived)
Talking of football...
BOO Man Yoo!

It must be really boring being a united fan, they always win, don't they ever get bored of winning.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:03, archived)
we didn't win the FA Cup

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:06, archived)
Oh god, you're one of them.
We didn't win the FA cup last year, but we got mighty close. Guess who I support and why I'll cry if anyone mentions play-offs.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
The rugby's on next
That will cheer you up.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
And a nice lump of coal to eat too?

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:59, archived)
Ayup, tha nos

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:00, archived)
Are there any countries that have interesting national anthems?
I think the french one has a nice tune, but ours is shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:47, archived)
All the ones with dictators.
And Italy.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:48, archived)
Listening now.
~Enjoying. Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:50, archived)
Italy has two dictators, which is a pretty impressive score.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:50, archived)
like run dmc
but not
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:02, archived)
Is one of them dead and the other a priest?

(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:16, archived)
Mussolini wore that big clock round his neck so he could see if the trains were running on time.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:32, archived)
not dead
just ill
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
The greek one has 126 verses.
And they're probably all about bumsex.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:48, archived)
verse one:
bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum
oooooooooooh

chorus:
greece we love you
greece we do
grease my bum
and poke my poo

verse two:
bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum
oooooooooooh

and so on
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:04, archived)
+pause for riot

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:07, archived)
The Italian one is quite jolly

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:48, archived)
Ours should be Je-fuckin-rusalem goddamnit

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:50, archived)
Only after you make Scotland and Wales independent.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:50, archived)
Cool

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:51, archived)
Surely that's make England and Wales independent.
It's the scotties running the show these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:51, archived)
The fact that the Prime Minister happens to be Scottish doesn't mean shit.
Besides, it doesn't particularly look like he's running anything at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:52, archived)
And Jock sits in Westminister while the saxon can't affect tartan law.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:54, archived)
Yeah, he sits there, because that's where the PM sits,
but that's not in any way England being ruled by Scotland. Otherwise he'd get to sit in Edinburgh to do his job.
I've honestly no idea what the process is for changing Scots law. I probably should.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:58, archived)
It's done through the scottich parliament.
But the point is that Scottish and Welsh MPs have a say over the domestic law of England, while the english have no say over Scotland. And for the last decade almost all of the senior leadership of Labour, and hence your country, have been haggis munchers.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:00, archived)
Apparently
"Many areas of Scots law are legislated for by the Scottish Parliament, whose authority devolved from the Parliament of the United Kingdom (Westminster). Areas of Scots law over which the Scottish Parliament has competency include health, education, criminal justice, local government, environment and civil justice amongst others. However, certain powers are reserved to Westminster such as defence, international relations, fiscal and economic policy, drugs law, and broadcasting, amongst others. The Scottish Parliament does retain limited tax raising powers."
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scots_law

I know, it does seem odd that we should have our own parliament as well as the UK one, while England only has the UK one. I never understood why the existing MPs in Scottish constituencies could just be the Scottish parliament, why do we need two sets of politicians anyway?

The European elections are coming up soon, we've got our polling cards. I know fuck all about European politics so I'd best not stick my oar in, it would only be adding noise to the signal.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:04, archived)
The scot and taaf parliaments exist to weaken the tories.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:06, archived)
Now there's a conspiracy I'd never considered.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:06, archived)
It's the argument that won over Blair towards devolution.
100% of fact.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:08, archived)
i reckon every part of the internet
should be capable of doing wikipedia mashups

this has just occurred to me. i might write a greasemonkey script this afternoon
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:06, archived)
I like Rule Britannia

(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:50, archived)
Rule Britannia is shit because:
It's a fucking ridiculous pantomime of a tune
Nobody knows past 'slaves'
Everyone says 'Rules the waves' and not 'Rule the waves'
It's a fucking ridiculous pantomime of a tune
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:57, archived)
This right here

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:00, archived)
I still like it though.

(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:08, archived)
I agree with this
Top choon.I recall the Ozzie RL side walking on to the pitch at Wembley as the song reached its crescendo. They physically shrank.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:51, archived)
Land of Hope and Glory ftmfw

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:52, archived)
I think it should be Umbrella, by Rihanna

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:52, archived)
Or this;
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vUVJsfG3eA
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:53, archived)
Oh yes.
It would spread fear throughout the universe.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:55, archived)
fucking yes

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:07, archived)
This is my second choice

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:22, archived)
The German one's quite rousing.
Ours has the same tune as Liechtenstein's.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:58, archived)
Facinating.

(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:09, archived)
You're impressed. I can tell.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:11, archived)
Is there a way of googling so that the words will appear in the sequence you enter them in?
I'm trying to look up someone whose Christian name can also be used as a surname and am getting lots of results of people who have his name but the other way round and it's annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 14:12, archived)
Have you tried using google to find the answer to your question?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:13, archived)
put it in quotes

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:14, archived)
^^ thish

(I helped save b3ta! weaver., Sun 10 May 2009, 14:29, archived)
I don't like people who have two first names, as in one first name and then a first name for the surname.
Like Craig David, David Jason, Ian Lee, Clive Owen, etc.
But I do like people who have two last names:
Harrison Ford, erm...
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:14, archived)
yeah,
they're all bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

erm... 52% of Northern Ireland
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:16, archived)
You should try to see whether you can create a circle of names.
With the first name/last name name thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:16, archived)
Wales.
We've got the best flag too.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:15, archived)
He said country, not half-baked principality full of wannabe sassenachs.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:16, archived)
Fuck you famine-wog.
Fuck you RIGHT IN THE SPUD!
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:17, archived)
Speak up, it's hard to hear you with your tongue so far up the queen's hole.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
She loves it.
The filthy Kraut.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:20, archived)
Wales not been a principality since the 16th century.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:19, archived)
And since then it's been a half baked principality full of whingy unemployed miners and methodists.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:20, archived)
As opposed to Ireland.
Which is so fucking wonderful that everyone from there moves to England.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:23, archived)
Haha
This.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:26, archived)
Tarmac yer droive, sor?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:27, archived)
Hang about
How long have you been a Welsher? I might have to reappraise my position on you now.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:17, archived)
Even longer than I've been a penguin-wog.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
I think you'll find that Gambia has the best flag
www.otago.ac.nz/philosophy/Staff/JoshParsons/flags/ratings-a.html
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
No.
Because Gambia doesn't really exist.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:19, archived)
Albania has the best flag,
followed by Saint Vincent and the Grenadines.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
You are totally wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:23, archived)
Am not.
Come on, it's a two headed eagle.
Greenland also deserves a higher score than that, I reckon.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:28, archived)
DRAGON.
Beats everything.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
Tell that to St George.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:32, archived)
Meh, He was just a lying Turk.
And his chilli sos wasn't all that good either.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:34, archived)
Dragons are good, I must admit.
There's just something a little "child's drawing" about the composition of the Welsh flag. It could only be more so if there was a blue band across the top and a yellow circle in the corner.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:36, archived)
DRAGON.
That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:42, archived)
He seems pretty set on this.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:45, archived)
it's only patriotism.
may as well just ignore it.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

/puts Wales on ignore
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
DRAGON
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Bhutan

It's still a rubbish flag.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:47, archived)
But that's just some rubbish chinky dragon.
Ours is a PROPER dragon. and it's RED.
Therefore it goes faster.
And WINS.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 14:57, archived)
It's an awesome dragon for sure,
but they still managed to design it into a mediocre flag. Hang on a mo while I improve it a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 10 May 2009, 15:06, archived)
We know you're just going to scrawl a big CDC on it.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
*holds up Welsh flag in support*
However, the Ukranian national anthem is interesting. But yes, we do have the best flag.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
I have been getting angry at an advert
for "pear cider". It's PERRY you fuckwits, CIDER is made from APPLES!

What has been annoying you on the telly?
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:24, archived)
It's advertising :(
Virgin trains advert and the new Pot noodle one.
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:25, archived)
Kebab flavoured pot noodles?
It just ain't right.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:26, archived)
I'd like to see them try a noodle flavour.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
there's another one
which is a horrific mish-mash of High School Musical and Beef & Tomato
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
This is the one that has me throwing hammers against televisions

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
I love the pot noodle ad
I want a sausage pen
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
Every ad, really.
They seem to get shitter and shitter.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:25, archived)
Also someone should tell Noit that it's a girl drink.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:25, archived)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:26, archived)
Many pear ciders are made of apple, with pear flavouring.
So they're not perry at all.
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:26, archived)
the bastards

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
Although the Bulmers one you're referring to is meant to be made of pears,
it's still an abomination of a drink.
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
+for girls, Noit.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Let's hire our own mediocre comedian and put an advert out.
Where's Friz when you need him?

Oh-ho! *zing*
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Oooh, he's had a haircut.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
curtains matching the drapes too
kinky
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
That's down the road from where I used to live
I've been to parties on his head
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
That's Limey Country!

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
/predictable

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
Cos it's near where I'm off of, not cos I'm a slag and that.
:((((((((
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 13:41, archived)
I watched the politics show and got annoyed at politicians

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
The illogical bleeping of swears.
But the Bill Bailey orchestra thing last night was really good.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
Bill Bailey is ACE
I watched some of that
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
He really is. He's been performing Insect Nation for about 15 years but we still laughed all the way through last night.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
HUMAN SLAVES

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
SPIDER TRAITORS SPIDER TRAITORS SPIDER TRAITORS

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 13:34, archived)
but unfortunately you can't fit your scooter in

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
Nothing annoying me on telly.
I am annoyed about being so terribly hungover and it being such a nice looking day to be out and about.

the sunlight hurts my eyes
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
hair of the dog

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:43, archived)
I managed to get away with believing "pear cider"
was cider with pears added in, until the latest pear cider ad that states it's made from pears.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:30, archived)


(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:00, archived)
?

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
Aha!

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
Well thanks, Friz
I'm really enjoying my birthday so far
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
I had a party last night
It was awesome. THREE PEOPLE CAME LOL.

No, but seriously, we drank until we shat
(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:10, archived)
I'm having a lovely, quiet, drunk-fuelled barbeque today
ALONE!


Not really alone, I'm not Piston
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:12, archived)
Awesome parody skills

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
It's a parody of baldmonkey having a wank

(__, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:11, archived)
football time soon

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:03, archived)
I saw a guy with a huge face yesterday.
He was a fool.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:04, archived)
Yeah, I know.
We're going to Salcey Forest in a bit, yay!
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:05, archived)
I want to go to a saucy forest.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
I hear the Wicklow Mountains are fun.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:15, archived)
I wouldn't bury a female hitch hiker anywhere else.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:18, archived)
Flap Flap
Meow
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:22, archived)
I'd vote for that cat if he wasn't a communist.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:23, archived)
Haha.
My friend's old farm cat Pox had 'wings'. They were scabs that formed into wing type things :s
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:24, archived)
I disagree entirely

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
I've got a crashing hangover
and I don't think I've the stamina to self-abuse my way out of it.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:15, archived)
I'd like to talk about politics.
Personally, I think Berlusconi is doing a bang-up job of supporting women in politics, just look at the MEPs he's picked:
Barbara Matera
Angela Sozio
Eleonora Gaggioli.
More of this, I say.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:41, archived)
They're certainly polling well in my swing constituency.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:43, archived)
and we get Hazel Blears :(

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:43, archived)
He's such good entertainment.
I hope he does some more mental stuff before my exams so I have more to write about.

Also, that reminds me of this article.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1164890/Oh-Yes-Minister-Meet-women-voted-worlds-stunning-politicians-WOULD-Sir-Humphrey-say--.html
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 12:44, archived)
*moves to South America*

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:45, archived)
Socialism, folks, it's where the hot women are at.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:46, archived)
But they put Ferris at number 7.
Whoever compiled that list is a wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:46, archived)
Number ten looks like Hankster, but with hair

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:51, archived)
We should catch her and shave her.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
Her compliance is almost guaranteed

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:00, archived)
I once pretended to have knobbed Ruth Kelly or someone like her on here.
Some bell end thought I was serious, despite the thread being about lies as I recall.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
You knobbed Ruth Kelly?
Seriously?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
Right up the bracket.
Pushed back like a cliff top sheep.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:51, archived)
I was on Knightmare once.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
I'm not falling for that one again.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
I was on Look North once

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
So was I!
Unfortunately, I was 14 on Music Live, walking past the camera with a fag in one hand and a bottle of Olde English in the other *cringe*
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
I ran on to a cricket pitch
When East Bierley got into the village cricket final at Lords. I was wearing a blue tracky and I was only 12. The cameraman swore at me. The cunt.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
Margaret Beckett's face looks like it's trying to escape from the rest of her.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
To be fair, your male politicians are fucking hideous aswell.
Noit's friend fancies David Cameron, whatever the fuck is wrong with her.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:58, archived)
Perhaps we should allow boob-jobs on expenses.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:44, archived)
I disagree
Jacqui Smith needs no encouragement.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:45, archived)
I disagree also
Nice tits, shame about the face? No ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
Well consider it the thin end of the wedge.
Before long they'll be able to get all sorts of cosmetic enhancements.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
The first one wins

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
I concur.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:49, archived)
Yuri Fujikawa wins

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:51, archived)
I prefer women who don't look like children

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
Now I've seen that article,
I have to whole heartedly endorse this.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
Sweet christ

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
rofflogyny!

(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
Do you think that art's becoming autonomous means that the inner logic of the aesthetic sphere is set free,
and that this, in turn, makes possible a rationalization of art and, therefore, a cultivation of experiences in dealing with inner nature, or in other words the methodical-expressive interpretation of a subjectivity freed from the everyday conventions of knowledge and action?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
Yeah, summat like that
I might have a poo
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
Use your arse, not your elbow.
/handy hints
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
Right
Arse, elbow. Gotcha.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
No.
Now fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
They've started selling Bulmer's Pear Cider.
You've been a bad influence on this country, young saxon.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
Bulmer's Pear Cider is not like any other pear cider.
It's more like acid piss that someone threw some pear drops into.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:58, archived)
Wow, a Pear Cider Snob.
That's like someone who gets picky about precisely which public toilet they go cotttaging in.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
WHY DRINK SOMETHING THAT ISN'T NICE?

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
YOU TELL ME!
THEY WERE SERVING STOUT AND YOU WENT AND HAD A KOPPERBERG.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
STOUT TASTES LIKE STALE BISCUITS.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
FUCK OFF CROMWELL

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:08, archived)
Cromwell had been dead a hundred years before we gave you stout
you daft oirish nonce.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
Where's me recognised code word?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:11, archived)
I think it's "to be sure" or "so it is".
"There's a bomb in the hotel lobby, to be sure. It's going to go off at four o'clock, so it is."
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:15, archived)
Weston's do a nice perry
Trust me, I'm qualified to judge.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
Weston's make many lovely things

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
Hell yeah.
Old Rosie is big news down this way.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:11, archived)
Esme was supping that in Cov
And it showed.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
I'm not surprised
it's fucking lethal.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:14, archived)
I'm a big fan of Thatcher's Katy
But I reckon Weston's Organic just tips it in my favourite cider pole.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:16, archived)
You should try Black Rat
the only pub that sells it, refuses to sell it in any measure larger than a half pint.
Dangerous thing, apple juice.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:19, archived)
Aye, they had something like that at my local.
I don't sup stuff that strong when out. It makes for a short a troublesome evening.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:22, archived)
This seems eminently sensible.
How might I go about getting a railway job?
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:25, archived)
Ask a railway company if they have any.
You could poke around the ATOC website for a list of companies and contacts. Or have a look at this www.rail.co.uk/ukrail/railcomp/towelcm.htm
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:29, archived)
Ta very much
I shall give it a go.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:43, archived)
Wave your knickerbockers at the oncoming express train to warn it away from the landslide.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
You can get Black Rat by the pint in The White Bear and The Highbury Vaults on St. Michael's Hill.
The most lethal I've come upon is Exhibition served by the half pint in The Coronation Tap in Clifton.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 12:25, archived)
That's legendary
but we try to keep it secret.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:44, archived)
old rosie
thatchers katy...black rat

are these just code words for vagina?
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
If you are twelve, perhaps.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
Dear sweet shitting christ they do.
I fucking LOVE the stuff. LOVE IT.

God I want a pint now.

/Wicca
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:21, archived)
'lo wicca'd
y'aright?
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:22, archived)
Really?
I had a bottle of perry from them and it reminded me of the chemical cider that comes in 3 litre bottles.
I'm generally not much of a fan of the stuff anyway though.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:32, archived)
They are damn good at making cider
if you don't like cider, this is unlikely to be of interest.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:00, archived)
I quite like some Perry, if the weather's nice and I'm in the sun.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 13:04, archived)
But down there *points*
Bulmers = Magners

so it's nice.
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
It's fucking not.
Regular Bulmers is OK. Not the best, but certainly not the worst. Pear Bulmers is a bit like being given a golden shower by a tramp that only drinks Pear Bulmers.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
Regular bulmers in the UK tastes of stale tramp piss
Bulmers in Ireland is nice, as it is the Magners of the UK
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:06, archived)
ALL CIDER IS TERRIBLE! GOODNIGHT!

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
You, sir, are misinformed
or just plain mental.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
It's WRONG and tastes of rotten apples and piss.

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:29, archived)
shouldn't you be down the park drinking a 3 litre bottle of White Lightning?
teenagers these days!
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
ah...
"Bulmers Ltd of Clonmel, Ireland is not connected with HP Bulmers Ltd of Hereford, UK. Bulmers Original Vintage Cider produced by Bulmers Ltd of Clonmel, Ireland is sold outside the Republic of Ireland under the name Magners Original Irish Cider."


or something like that
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
yup
It's silly but true. It's been quite a while since I last got a dirty look from a barman in Dublin for absent-mindingly ordering Magners
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:08, archived)
they sell both up here
very confusing.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
It's not really - don't order Bulmers
I find that's got me through my years of drinking just fine.
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
It's all to do with trademarks
and involves legal action.
I'm just sticking to drinking beer.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:11, archived)
It would be easier if Bulmers of Hereford accepted they made shit cider and stopped
and Bulmers of Ireland admitted it's a silly name and changed it to Magners.
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:12, archived)
Or if you people developed a proper taste in drink.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
I like a pint of Guinness as much as the next half-hearted Irish man
but I don't find it has the same refreshing effects of other drinks
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:14, archived)
I'm in complete agreement with this remark.

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:14, archived)
I'm friends with the heiress to the Hereford Bulmers.
FACT.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
Embrace the Pear
/advertising drone
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
no
I have no explanation for that answer.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
I hear you can get explanations in Newry for about half the price they cost down here.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
Pity I can't actually get IN to Newry to buy them
Mind you, I have a cunning plan.... my mate is in the fire & rescue service, and has a car with all the noisy flashy bits - I may steal it and force my way through.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:56, archived)
Do you think
that art's becoming autonomous means that the inner logic of the aesthetic sphere is set free,
and that this, in turn, makes possible a rationalization of art and, therefore, a cultivation of experiences in dealing with inner nature, or in other words the methodical-expressive interpretation of a subjectivity freed from the everyday conventions of knowledge and action?

I try not to on Sundays.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
No
I think it's all bollocks spouted by pretentious wankers.
Bit of a contentious viewpoint, I admit.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
Maybe 90% bollocks?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
Depends on your preferred sausage manufacturer
as a general rule, nothing on here is less than 100% bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
Well, this is an unhelpful and plainly incorrect answer.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
So is yours
I'm drunk and spoiling for a fight. Get in.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
Need an essay doing?

(I helped save b3ta! its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
No.
I just felt like a little light conversation.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
A little less conversation
A little more action, please

/Elvis
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
*blank stare*

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
I like my tea without sugar

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
You won't share a beverage with Sir Alan?
You evil bigot.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
I wouldn't
he looks unhealthy, and I don't trust him at all.
Nothing to do with his race, religion, or creed, I just think he's an arse.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:57, archived)
he is an arse
*spent most of the 80's fixing fucking Amstrad computers blog*
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
His equipment is state of the art
www.amstrad.com/products/emailers/e3.html
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
now that was a bit too ahead of its time
and expensive to use, and like all his stuff broke down at an alarming rate. - at least judging by the number of them we had to return. I liked the idea though.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:02, archived)
*fives*

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
I'm evil I know

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
doesn't autonomy suggest some sort of control on the domain
so in fact art is placing some sort of aethetic constraint on itself?

/I lost interest after the first comma.
(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
On the contrary, autonomy requires freedom from constraints.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
autonomy means self governing.
so I think you are stating that within the domain of art, its "autonomous", is that art, as a domain, governs itself. This isn't complete freedom, more that artists goven themselves as a whole, relative to each other. Not sure if this is complete freedom.

I suppose it depends on what you mean by art. If it just the creative process you are right.

/I'm talking right bollocks here
(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
I see what you've tried to do there
Use a lot of nice sounding words to ask a meaningless question about art
and by doing do, hope to satirise the language of art.

good effort.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:58, archived)
I see what you've tried to do here;
a dismissive analysis of my post. Unfortunately your analysis was incorrect.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
What was your post about?

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
It was about sixty words long.
ROFL

I mean, aesthetics.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:02, archived)
Could you re-write it so that it isn't gibberish?

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
Not without changing the meaning.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
This is going to end up with someone taking their scarf off in a huff.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:06, archived)
It's just an excuse to show people the love bites he got off a fourteen year old slapper behind the bus station.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:14, archived)
The only time I got lumbered with with one of those my mum asked me if I'd been thumped
Not the response I was anticipating.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:21, archived)
Yes
But can you draw me a nice horse?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
Yes.
Send money.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
Is size commensurate with price?
I can only lay my hands on about 30p without dipping into my wallet which is way over there.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
I didn't read all of that,
too many big words and such. I'll just answer another question instead.

Yes, it was a good night. My dancing skills are so much better once I've had a few rum n' cokes.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
No, look, you've fallen over your own argument here.
How can logic be 'set free' when logic is an inferrence? Also, there has always been the possibility of a rationalisation of art, what with rationalisation being an inferrence as well.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
It's not logic per se that's being set free, but the inner logic of the aesthetic sphere.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
Logic has no constraints from which to be set free though
logic is not bound by any rules as it is inferred from actions. It doesn't matter which fancy faux-sesquipedalian parameters you want to impose on it, it will not be imposed upon. Logic doesn't work like that. Ergo, your post is guff.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
Go back and brush up on your Godel.
All systems of logic have restraints.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:06, archived)
I don't see what mathematical logic has to do with an argument about the freedom and/or rationalisation of art

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
Then look harder.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:12, archived)
You're doing a particularly shoddy job of convincing me of your argument.
'Then look harder' only serves to convince me of my own point, and to isolate your point as invalid or, even, non-existent. Try again. Using words.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:15, archived)
*points*

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:16, archived)
Be careful Russel
You can never tell what someone who spells rationalisation with a z might do next.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
I blame that cunt Derrida.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
I always blame him.
Especially when I run out of ingredients for things.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
I'd rather talk about whether Eco was primarily concerned w/ rewriting the past or promoting his own agenda with Il nome della rosa.
And does anyone here know anything about the Odyssey?
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
Promoting his own agenda.
Deffo.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
Can you expand on that?
Perhaps into 3000 words, double spaced, MHRA style references. Thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 12:06, archived)
Never.
If Eco finds out I'm on to him there'll be hell to pay.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:08, archived)
I liked the bit where George Clooney got punched by the Cyclops.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:06, archived)
I'm interested in the bits about his wife and how she didn't recognise him.
Cos in the modern Italian rewriting of it she does recognise him but I don't know enough about the original to know why she didn't recognise him in the first place and why it's a significant change.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 12:08, archived)
She didnt recognise him because he disguised himself.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
Yeah I know. But in the rewriting he does too, but his old wetnurse recognises him and tells her.
Then she has a whole crisis thing because he didn't see fit to reveal himself to her but instead just to Telemaco and Eumeo and when he does reveal himself to her she pretends not to believe him then he almost leaves til she tells him that she does believe him and they stay. but int he original she just seems perfectly happy when he reveals himself to her and nto upset at all that he confided in Telemaco and Eumeo and not her and she's a bit wet. And I don't know why she was so happy just to accept it in the original.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
Of course she's wet. She married a poofter.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:14, archived)
He disguised himself as a beggar
and went along with all the other suitors, rather than just turn up and say 'Hello, the Wife, I'm home'. I think he was just showing off, to be honest.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:14, archived)
I'm not sure anything can be totally freed from everyday conventions of knowledge and action.
Even those which seek to reject those values do so in the awareness of those values.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
twat

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:15, archived)
I like eggs

(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Sun 10 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
Its a lovely day out there
Nice and sunny, blue skies with big fluffy white clouds, I almost feel like writing a poem... but fuck that.

Apart from looking out the window and/or staring at your computer screen, what are you going to do today? I'm going to take photographs and then go to a wake, and then the pub.

*twitter blog*
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:37, archived)
I'm at work for the day.
Which is a fuck load more relaxing than my days off, lately.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:39, archived)
Where'd you work?
Theme park? Sweet shop? Quasar?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
Bookshop today.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
Cool.
Is it just like Black Books? Are you Manny?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
I'm going to go out for a feed and see if that shifts my headache.
Not until later though, I'm far too busy doing nothing.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:39, archived)
I'm about to go to the gym.
Later, I'll be roasting a shoulder of lamb and eating a substantial chunk of it.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:40, archived)
Shit.
I really want a Sunday roast...
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:42, archived)
Go and find some meat and put it in the oven.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

I'm going to sit here and watch my auction for a load of Tesco clubcard vouchers finish on ebay, then try and coerce a girl into giving me a lift to the shop, then get pissed and worry about work tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:41, archived)
I might visit the shops for a shirt or two.
they be open today...
(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:41, archived)
well do them up
no-one wants to see your belly

oh i'm so funny
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
the traffic queues of southerners heading north to shop started at 10am this morning.
there was a 30 minute tailback at the same time the locals were heading to church. Much swearing and non Christian words have been spoken :-)
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
this is good to know. I think i'll be heading to crewe
not sure though.
(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
Is it always that busy or is something special on?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
always
prices in the north are up to 30% cheaper on stuff like booze - its fucking nuts, locals now drive 20 miles away to shop, as they can't get near the shops.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
To be fair, 20 miles isn't really that far
Where do you live?
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
Outside Newry in Co. Down, a stones throw from the border.
and its far enough when you consider at least 8 miles of that are fucking roadworks
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
i'm tidying the house
once that's done, i might do some plastering

i've phoned orange and asked for my pac code. by wednesday, i will have an exciting new phone. well i'm excited, amy is quietly disapproving

oh, and we had roast venison for breakfast. win!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:42, archived)
This is why we are going out for tea
I REALLY want some venison today.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
For breakfast? With what?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
roast potatoes, yorkshire puds
carrots, radishes, spinach, and something that was like radishes but white. i'm not sure
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
Shit
*remembers boring toast*
*feels hungry*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
we're having toast for dinner
it all balances out
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
My breakfast was a grapefruit, you win.
I'm going to make up for it with a big slice of cheese stuffed focaccia for lunch. And soup.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
Do washing up, do laundry, write essay, revise Renaissance poetry, make dinner, drink wine, collapse into bed.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
Aesthetic work and proof reading of my dissertation,
watch the grand prix,

print my dissertation.

Cry when I get depressed about it not being good enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
Proof reading your own stuff is horrible.
Can't you get someone to do it for you?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
I've got my two supervisors doing it as well.
But the stuff I'm doing is checking each equation I've referenced is labelled correctly, each figure/page number is correct etc, rather than the QOWC.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
Oh dear. Well, good luck - it'll all be over soon.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
I've just awoken, from a slumber of epic proportions.
Weird/scary dreams etc.

Today, I plan to do some cycling and maybe go and see Wolverine in the evening. Is it any good? If not, can you suggest a better movie to see?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
Star Trek

(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
Although Wolverine is entertaning enough.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
I'm not really a huge Star Trek fan,
but I hear the movie is a tad removed from the television series and previous movies.

Oh, and Simon Pegg is in it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
as is the bloke wot plays syler in heroes
I'm waiting to go tomorrow night
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
I'm going to do the world's best fry-up
then I'm going to do precisely fuck all for a few hours.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
Birthday tea
with sausage rolls and cheese and pineapple on sticks and such. And CAKE.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
That sounds ace
And yet here I sit, uninvited :(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
Here he sits, all uninvited
tried to shit, but merely farted.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
I'm very fruity today
Left over curry for supper
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
WIN
leftover curry is always the way forward.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
grand prix. football. revision.

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

football

I can't forgive football for what it did to me.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
My aunt and cousin are coming over from Dublin later
So I shall be going to see them.

Apart from that, not much, although I will probably have to venture to a shop at some point.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
F1, burning cds, reading, lying around...

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
Anyone still around?
I have a secret...
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:00, archived)
I'm here.
TELL NOW.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:00, archived)
Yay that got replies!
GUESS
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:02, archived)
It's obvious; you tried to come out but everybody just laughed.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
have you been hoarding guano at your Belgium address in order to influence market prices?

(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
No, but I wish I was
that made me go pfft
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
haha
*continues hoarding*
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:11, archived)
.....
go on
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:00, archived)
have a guess

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
You trim your bush with the kitchen scissors?

(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
not the kitchen scissors, no

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
You're the Unabomber
I KNEW IT
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
You can believe it's not butter?

(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
greasy stuff makes me feel queasy

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
Of course it's not.
After transubstantiation the butter turns into jaysus.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
so when you put butter on a hot cross bun
it's like an edible cricifixion?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
Sure. Why not.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:15, archived)
You're the majority shareholder of
Fucking Shitty Magnets PLC?
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
You're the person that puts the white dog poo
on the street, to confuse and bemuse the locals?
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
You have become Death,
reaper of souls.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
for a second there I was wondering
"When the fuck did I write that?"
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
You once drop kicked a small boy in the nuts

(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
You get turned on from multiple replies, online?

(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
THIS is very true

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
Also, congratumalations and such
:)
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
So?
Goody gumdrops for you.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:01, archived)
you smell

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
Yes I do
I smell of manliness and aftershave.
The ladies love it.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
Is it a your own secret
or a someone else's secret?
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:02, archived)
it's all miiiine

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
You're pregnant.
But you don't want to tell the internet until you've told your nearest and dearest face-to-face.
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
I spoke to MrSpong earlier today
but I'm not telling any real people yet. I like telling you lot though, cos you're not real
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
Yeeeeee!
Congratulations!
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
Some of us are real.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
Ooh congratulations!

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
There's no point in congratulating her.
It's the fella what did the hard work. She just lay there.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:14, archived)
Whose is it?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:13, archived)
it's all miiiine
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:14, archived)
Well, it's not mine.
The miserable tuppence licker didn't come anywhere near civilisation.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:20, archived)
The smart money is on it being Gonzos

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:24, archived)
*shudders*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:26, archived)
Is it a good secret?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:02, archived)
it's GREAT!

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
Would we like it?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
I think the girls will squeal with delight
and the boys will not care a jot
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:11, archived)
It's ok
I already found your wart cream
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
That's no secret

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
I'm trying to wake up
I may give in and return to the wank sack.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
Think of me when you go

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
I am doing
Right
Now
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
WAHEY!

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
Done now
I feel so dirty, yet so good.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
Yeah?
Well I've got about 8 portions of chilli con carne and 6 portions of bolognese sauce - BEAT THAT.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
NOM

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
I've got 16 rashers of maple smoked bacon,
half a loaf of bread,
some baked beans,
some really nice totally hippy and organic eggs from the happy chickens of a friend,
sausages,
and a BIG frying pan.
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
But no black pudding or farls, you massive failure.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
it's MY fryup
it only has to have the things that I like.
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:13, archived)
Not liking farls?
Utter failure.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:15, archived)
Damn right
farls and black pudding are the entire point of this miserable existence.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

And no mention of gorgeous Portobello mushrooms ????
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

okay, I admit I have been lax about the mushrooms. Him Asleep Upstairs doesn't like them.
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

Damn, ok, you win the first hand of food poker.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:14, archived)
Shouldn't you tell the father in private first?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
I did that earlier

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
You want to marry MoT.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
Hmmmmmm.
Shotgun wedding.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
I knew my soliders were so potent that I could get a girl pregnant from 200 miles by merely having a wank.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
I don't think I need an MOT thanks

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
I once tried to glass a friend while drunk.
I don't remember this.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
You so crazeee

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
I saw a bloke glassed once.
It was horrible. His throat was all open and the noise he made was hideous. Still, we went for a curry afterwards. Good times.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
This was a girl.
A very good friend of mine.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
I'm generally nice to my friends
I find this to be the best approach.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
I was only told about this last week by my friend, Richard.
It has been bothering me ever since. I've asked him not to tell me any other things I did while drunk. We both agreed that it is a good thing that I no longer drink.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
Oh dear
I just go to sleep when I have a drink, after abortive attempts at athletic sex.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:15, archived)
I hate that.
"Oh wow! I am such a stud! I'm lasting for ages! Oh. Wait a minute... I can't feel my penis... oh... fuck this, I'm tired anyway" *roll-over-go-to-sleep fluid slump-movement*
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:18, archived)
More or less this
But with added spilled glass of wine at the side of the bed.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:19, archived)
So how do you know it happened?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6138140

This would have been about ten years ago.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:13, archived)
How long are you off the sauce now?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:15, archived)
About four years.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:18, archived)
I hope I never have to live through four sober years.
*shudders*
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:20, archived)
It's beyond comprehension

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:22, archived)
Imagine being able to remember everything your friends say.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:23, archived)
I'd rather not
I've asked my mate Charlie to leave her husband loads of times apparently. They just accept it now, and they are appalling drunks so we get this info from third parties.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:29, archived)
I have to say, it's great.
I never wake up feeling like shit or having to ask people why I feel guilty.
I can drive to evenings out instead of relying on expensive public transport.
I get to watch other people being pricks and take advantage of their drunkeness.

The only down side is that at bashes and things like that the drunkest people are unbearably dull at a certain level of pissed and ALWAYS gravitate toward the sober person. You have to be a bit drunk yourself to put up with these people.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:23, archived)
Ah well, if it works for you that's grand.
Can I drink your share?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:26, archived)
Whilst on your trip to England you spent a night being pleasured by a group of strangers you met on the internet.

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
gonzo, supermatt and sexface

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
with JMG stood there shouting "This is terrible internet"

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
And beating himself off in the corner
Whilst wearing a vintage zx spectrum tshirt?
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:11, archived)
While autisticly obsessing about northern Scottish cities, football and other people's friendships
Thus making a full three dimensional life.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
Pfft
Clickin dis HARD
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:14, archived)
I calls it how I sees it
Oh god, I'm a cartoon Yorkshireman. "I know what I like and I like what I know"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:17, archived)
*loads shotgun*
Its the kindest way...
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:20, archived)
*submits*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:22, archived)
They dont come stranger than that

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
Unfortunately not
*sad face*
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
and you promised you'd pull out

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
but you did enjoy the coathanger

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:18, archived)
Stuck in the station of Poznan Glowny
what the fuck am I supposed to do for the next 25minutes?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:36, archived)
Kill them all lol

(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 10 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
There's nowhere for me to spraypaint my initials and the high score

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:45, archived)
Rearrange the letters on the station sign
to Nylon Gown, Zap!
(I helped save b3ta! Three Dog Man, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
Mmmm. Static-tastic.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:43, archived)
the "zap" has to be said in the gayest lisp conceivable

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:48, archived)
That sounds like the first line of a John Clarke poem.
Is the next line "The girl in the ticket booth looks quite downie"?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:43, archived)
The girl at the kiosk sold me some shoelaces
and as I stood, lonesome, at the pisser, with my dick in my hand, I wondered what the chain-smoking floor-scrubbing harridan was thinking as she stared at my back.

And now, to be a cunt, I'll never finish that story and I'll become like Kafka or summink.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:46, archived)
I think it takes a bit more than just dying with an unfinished story.
Probably.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:48, archived)
Yeah, you have to be a cunt and Czech
and be secretly bumming your publisher
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:49, archived)
traditionally
you buy a cup of alleged tea or coffee, and spend the next 25 minutes burning your mouth as you attempt to drink it before getting on the next train.
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
Play chicken with the fast trains as they go through.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
Well,
As poznan-life.com describe it as "One of the largest and most important train stations in Poland" I think you should just stand their soaking up its importance and feeling somewhat overawed by its magnificance and size. You could also marvel at the computer announcement system - the only one of its kind in Poland.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
exactly how bored ARE you?

(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:08, archived)

I'm not bored anymore after reading about the wonders of one of Polands most important railway stations. Just sitting here in quiet awe.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:17, archived)
How do you pronounce the L with a line through it?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:15, archived)
Lira or pounds.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 10:19, archived)
That's a rubbish answer.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:22, archived)
It's 10.20 on a Sunday.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 10:23, archived)
No excuse at all.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:32, archived)
the line is pronounced "wah-ching!"
like a samurai sword slicing a dishonourable ninja
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:33, archived)
I think I prefer the rubbish lira answer.
Sorry.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:36, archived)
that's okay
thank you for your feedback
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:40, archived)
W
the W is a V
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:00, archived)
Throw things at the trains, the guards, and your fellow passengers-to-be.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:21, archived)
Create a critical evaluation of their toilet facilities

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:39, archived)
Buy a paper,
deface the pictures with a biro.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:43, archived)
Go on a murderous rampage
I'm considering doing just that myself, the local church is playing a recording of shitty bellringing at high volume. The cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:44, archived)
...

...

... you're not joking, are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:46, archived)
I'm not, really
I consider it a bit unkind of them to disturb my morning with a high-volume recording of lots of ding-dong.
It's not merry, and I'm not high. It just annoys me.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:49, archived)
oh dear.
Real bell-ringing, okay, it's probably quite a skilled thing to do and they'd have to practise somehow and it is a Sunday and they are a church and blah something greater glory of God praise him with our ringy goodness whatever. But what you're describing is an ice cream van.
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:53, archived)
Exactly
it's just a very annoying noise that I don't want. Grrr.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:55, archived)
and goes on for half a bloody hour
they really are getting on my tits today.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:56, archived)
Or you could respond to the ringing by going to church, as invited.
A bit of praying may do you some good.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 10:48, archived)
Fuck that with chips
I'm a confirmed atheist.
I'd be a lot more sympathetic if there were actual bellringers - at least it's a hobby. As it is, they simply switch on a recording and assault my ears with a load of unnecessary noise.
I suppose God, were he to exist, might feel similarly aggrieved.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:52, archived)
Have you considered asking them to stop?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:56, archived)
Or praying for them to stop?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 10:58, archived)
Or suicide bombing the church.
That'll shut the fuckers up.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 10:58, archived)
I'm proper English, me
I shall simply make a quiet complaint, and then write to the Times.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:00, archived)
I'm going to go and see the vicar this afternoon
I shall be polite and reasonable, and point out that he's being precisely the opposite.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 10:59, archived)
This is the correct plan for dealing with scum.
Always start polite.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:01, archived)
And then kneecap the fucker.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 10 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
Exactly
he's toast if he crosses me.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
has anyone seen this yet?
just O.o
www.youtube.com/watch?v=941HLlFgzoM
stalin vs martians trailer
(panda_sam, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:07, archived)
uh.
Okay.

WTF? I'm not entirely convinced that was the best way to start my Sunday.
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:14, archived)
I've just discovered the Konami code on Facebook.
Well cute. :D
(I helped save b3ta! Bats, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:16, archived)
Oh my god.
O.O
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 9:19, archived)
yes
shame the actual game is really really crappy
(I helped save b3ta! well, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:23, archived)
i haven't downloaded the demo from steam yet
i considered it but the trailer scares me :x
(panda_sam, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:24, archived)
i don't think there is a demo
if there was no-one would have bought the game, still it's only £6.79 right now if you want to try it
(I helped save b3ta! well, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:27, archived)
hmm
i still think i'll pass :p
(panda_sam, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:29, archived)
/waves
anybody home??
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 6:46, archived)
Apparently not

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 7:36, archived)
/sigh
that's annoying. How goes it ms pickle?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 7:37, archived)
I'm alrighty thanks
How are you my dear?
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 7:46, archived)
am well thanks
had my first shift at a temporary job today. Mother's day. Hectic. will sleep like the dead once the sky goes dark tonight.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 7:48, archived)
Good lord!
- I had absolutely no idea that mothers day was celebrated on different dates in different countries, but wikipedia confirms this, how queer.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:01, archived)
aye that it is.
Australia and America are fairly close - I'm not sure when the UK's mother's day is though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:09, archived)
It's in March
Not sure how it's worked out. Last Sunday or something I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:12, archived)

It's the 4th sunday in Lent in the UK, Ireland & Nigeria.

(thanks to wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothers_day#Dates_around_the_world )
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:13, archived)
Ah, fair enough

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:14, archived)
ahhh
well we don't really have Lent here in Aus. I'm sure there are people who celebrate it but it's not really a big thing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:14, archived)

It's huge in the UK, - all schools and most businesses close for 40 days, everyone attends morning service and evensong for each of the 40 days, and the sale of alcohol and confectionary is suspended nationally.

/spreads misinformation.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:18, archived)
/believes everything is told.
hey wait a moment! how do you know *everyone* attends morning service and evensong?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

In the UK everyone has to be registered with a church, and during lent all churches take a register of attendance, - if you're not near your "home" church you can attend any, but you have to get a "temporary relocation of worship" card stamped and signed, then return it to your home church within 14 days, otherwise you're reported to the religious police.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:23, archived)
why does this
smack of the catholic church and Nineteen-Eighty-Four combined into one?
All pure fiction?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:24, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:29, archived)
/wails
is it? I gots to know! I'm moving to the UK at the end of next year!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:32, archived)
I can't believe you actually thought it might be true

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:33, archived)
aha I didn't.
:) just joshing ya.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:37, archived)

Especially since Australians are the masters of spreading misinformation - I know people that still believe in Kangaroos, Platypusses & Crocodile Dundee...
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:38, archived)
what're you talking about mate?
Platypus are very real. Kangaroos and drop bears live less then 2 km away from me.

But crocodile dundee is rubbish.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:41, archived)
O RLY?
"an egg-laying, venomous, duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed mammal" - c'mon - we're not that gullible. I've seen Neighbours and all 3 Mad Max films and the platypus hasn't appeared once.

/forms all opinions about Australia from watching Neighbours and Mad Max.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:48, archived)
Clearly.
Neighbours is an idealised version of how Aus wants us to be seen as and Mad Max is just a several hour long screen shot of shite that never happens here.

/is australian and has never watched neighbours or MM.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

If you're coming to the UK next year I'd recommend watching "Fawlty Towers" and "Withnail & I" - they should give you a well rounded view of what to expect when you arrive here.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

No, there's some truth in it... well, we have churches...
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:31, archived)
oh.
well allright then.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:32, archived)

I'm not only home, but awake as well. I fucking wish I was still asleep though - why do I struggle to wake up at 06:00 for work Mon-Fri, but always wake up earlier than this at the weekend :-(
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 10 May 2009, 7:41, archived)
I have the same problem
It sucks.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 10 May 2009, 7:45, archived)
you have no idea how much I struggled..
to resist saying, "No your MUM sucks".
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 7:51, archived)
Murphey's Law.
it sucks. I'm a student + work night/day shifts so my sleep pattern is almost nonexistant.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 7:46, archived)
Hello /talk.
What's happening? I've been drinking and bleurgh!

What's your favourite milk? Skimmed, semi-skimmed, whole?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:30, archived)
I use skimmed
BUT I DELIGHT IN THE DECADENCE OF WHOLE MILK

I have not been drinking, but have had so much diet coke I feel like I'm on speed, not that I've ever taken it, but you know what I mean.

Maybe I'm also high cuz I did 25 dances tonight, WOOOOOHOOOO!
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:31, archived)
25 different MEN?!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 3:33, archived)
Naaaaah, one guy had eight, most had more than one
HIGH FIVE ME JMG I AM MADE OF GOLD!
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:34, archived)
*Top tens*
I once said hello to you but you never danced at me.
I am therefore preparing a LAWSUIT against you that'll include GMoS as a character witness.
Baldmonkey on bass.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 3:38, archived)
Can I play synth?
I've got my own Korg.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:42, archived)
DEAL!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 3:43, archived)
Awesome!
It also has a vocoder, so we can speak like robots and that Hawkings fella'.

Buff!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:45, archived)
That doesn't sound like me at all
I'm quite the dance-slag
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:49, archived)
I reckon I could make a good living doing sexy dancing, what do you think?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:47, archived)
Shave your legs, I'll get you a wig and we'll reenact the crying game.

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:48, archived)
Oh there'll be plenty crying..

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 4:09, archived)
I've not seen that, but I like the sound of the first two parts, so it can't be that bad.
LETS GO FOR IT.

Would it be to london-gay-clique cliché to have 'Hay Big Spender' as my song?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 10 May 2009, 4:28, archived)
I'd pay to see you dance.
In a private booth.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:48, archived)
ARRGHH!
It's YOU!, how the fuck are YOU?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:35, archived)
Canny.
I'm sat in PANTS and LITTLE ELSE.
Hysteria.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 10 May 2009, 3:39, archived)
Flawless.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:41, archived)
Congrats on the numerous danceseses.
I use semi-skimmed.

HELLO YOU!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:34, archived)
HERRO!
MY SACK IS BULGING!

Did you have a good night of drinks and that?
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:35, archived)
It was wonderful.
I didn't smoke all night, and I stuck to rum & coke. I'm fantatstic me.

You're a woman, why do you people pluck eyebrows and confuse.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:37, archived)
HIGH FIVE FOR YOU! Top night out skills
a) When women hit puberty, they start wanting to attract BOYS, and look at GROWED UP LADIES for tips. They start emulating behaviour they read in magazines, or looking at pictures of themselves and realising they have beautiful hair and BIG MANLY EYEBROWS. Some people just can't stop, and end up having to draw them back on. We call these women LOSERS.

b) Because what women say and what they're thinking are WORLDS APART. Trufax. I grew up in a house of men (7 brothers) and I still witness myself being "womanly". Earlier my man came home from his mate's house and I cried at him. I don't know why. But I got sex out of it, so, meh.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:48, archived)
More confuse.
Should I give up or pursue?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:50, archived)
Feign disinterest
Works every time. Either she doesn't want you, in which case it doesn't matter, or she becomes ENRAGED that you do not find her SEXIE and INTOXICATING, in which case she will go out of her way to get your attention.

This actually also works on lapdancers. PRO-TIP if anyone is ever in a SLAG CLUB, during a dance, don't tell the bird that's she's sexy awesome and wonderful, it makes you a patsy. Be calm and say little. We've discussed this at length, the fact that you're not gushing makes us try harder.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:53, archived)
ok,
will do. Thanks be to you.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:57, archived)
HIGH FIVES
I have prawn cocktail pringles, they are confusing and exciting.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 3:59, archived)
I don't have pringles of any sort.
This makes me sad...
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 4:00, archived)
:(
I don't have pringles any more either if that makes you feel better.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 4:02, archived)
It really doesn't.
:(

EDIT: I type more than this, where's the rest of my message?

Oh well, lack of pringle-ness, BOOO!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 4:06, archived)
Yeah, you keep typing those words mister
Right, I'm going to pop some sleeping pills, watch shit telly for half an hour the go to bed.

I bid you adieu my good sir, I will no doubt speak to you soon

WUV OO xxxxxx
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sun 10 May 2009, 4:09, archived)
Semi-skimmed
on a lighter note. I went dudley zoo last week and saw these cheery chaps
www.b3tards.com/u/d3b9db17265230941f27/cimg1648_2.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Sun 10 May 2009, 4:20, archived)

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