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Am I interesting?
I just did a dull thing and am shit and I posts it here and wait for attention.

PS blah blah oh dear god fucking blah
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)
I love you unconditionally.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:31, archived)
If i didnt love you id tell you you're a shit gaylord bummer
But i do love you, in as much as man can come to love another man without playing at amateur proctology
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:31, archived)
*gives attention*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:31, archived)
I hope you never make a PODCAST
it'd be shit.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:31, archived)
my tshirt smells, how do I fix this

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:32, archived)
Have your armpits surgically replaced with plumbing elbow joints

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)
Wash
It and yourself. Or go topless.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)
I just walked to Puerto Banus with my tits out all the way.
I also saw Nic Cage. Probably. He stared at my tits the fucking hollywood perve.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:36, archived)
Is that the totally chavvy place?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:39, archived)
If they've won the lottery, yeah

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)
+and boat a fucking great bought.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:49, archived)
would that bought cost a yacht?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:56, archived)
fucking spinnakers.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 21:00, archived)
Brian and I are going to a whisky distillery
YES
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:38, archived)
Brian the snail?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:38, archived)
Lonewolf!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:39, archived)
Very OLd Skool!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:49, archived)
Whiskey?
Fuck off.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:38, archived)
What's wrong with that?
Whiskey is the good stuff- anything else is that disgusting Scottish imitation.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:40, archived)
is Brian your boyfriend or something, peter breath?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:43, archived)
I hope you get ball cancer

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:49, archived)
spite your face
Your nose needs the time off.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)
Cut its nose off.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:35, archived)
Is it a good smell or a bad smell?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:36, archived)
Stuff cotton wool up your nose.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:36, archived)

no ar
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:39, archived)
That won't stop me.....

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:50, archived)
Jamaica

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:50, archived)
I remember when you were amusing.
This is a current affairs board now. we'll have none of that banter here.....
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:36, archived)
Perhaps you'd consider letting me place my balls in your mouth?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:37, archived)
I bet you say that to all the girls.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:44, archived)
no you are dancer

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:45, archived)
Am I a bad sister?
After teaching my 13-year-old brother and his best friend about "The Game" tonight, I have waited until they went to sleep then took it upon myself to:

1. Carve "the game" into each of his school pencils...
2. Carve "the game" into small corner of his desk...
3. Tape a large sign on the inside of his door saying - you guessed it - "the game"
4. Stuck an envelope in the mailbox with the words on it (He's obsessed with being the first to get the mail)

And, the piece de resistance...
5. Carefully spray-frosted both their faces with the phrase. Even if it is unintelligible in the morning, it's still funny... Isn't it?

I feel like this will lead to horrible, horrible revenge. Nevertheless, the damage has been done.

PS - I just lost the Game, and I am sorry for your loss...
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:23, archived)
How is babby formed?
[Edit] I hate to do this, but you deserve it
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:24, archived)
Yeah, I'm totally not reading all of that.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:24, archived)
I wouldn't either.
As pointed out further down, I am a shit poster.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6268383
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)
lol banned

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:24, archived)
You're not a bad sister.
You're a shit poster.

NEXT.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:25, archived)
I've no idea what you are banging on about
but it sounds like a jolly wheeze
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:25, archived)
FYI I think I am getting the hang of it.
Sort of. A bit.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)
It's pretty easy, just loops 'n tings innit

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)
Sort of.
Nearly. Dunno. Baby steps.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)
How fascinating.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:25, archived)
And I do mean FUCK OFF.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)
I'd rather not.
But I will stop making new threads/replying to anyone else's threads after this one dies... I never seem to succeed when I do, hence not posting anything before this for over a year.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)
SHIT FLOUNCE

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:32, archived)
Try not being shit.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)
Cheer up

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:34, archived)

cheer up fuck off
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:37, archived)
Fuck off.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:38, archived)
Fucking hell, you're shitter than I am.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)
Also, I'm pretty sure I've seen this before.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:29, archived)
are they hot?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)
LOL you're so awesome
On a better note, I love the seaside.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)

aside men
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)
Shocking

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)
*prides*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:28, archived)
Cocking hell its 28 degrees in here

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:28, archived)

degrees stone



LOL
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:28, archived)

degrees stone megatons

lmao
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:32, archived)
Yes you are
but he still wanks while thinking of you.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)
I'd be ashamed if he didn't!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:28, archived)
in the shop I dropped a tube of pringles on the floor so I put it back and got another tube
does this make me a bad person?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:29, archived)

thedwarves.com/uploads/mp3/Satan.mp3
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:31, archived)
Someone else might buy those Pringles.
You have potentially ruined someones evening. You are worse than Hitler and Andi Peters combined.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:32, archived)
It depends how many you ate before you put it back
more than 15 is naughty.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:32, archived)
What's spray-frosting?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)
Your man clearly doesnt treat you right

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:31, archived)
it's what americans have instead of personalities

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:32, archived)
*cough*
I'm Australian. But you do have it right on the no-personality part. Hence the no-social-skills part.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:34, archived)
Are you going to tell me what spray-frosting is or what?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:35, archived)
Kinda hard to explain,
only just discovered it myself the past week...

Okay. You know how you can get whipped cream in a can, and you shoot it out and you pretend it doesn't look a think like someone just jizzed on your food? You can get cake frosting/icing/whatever-you-want-to-call-it in the same form. Actually tastes quite shit...
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:45, archived)
Oh, okay.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:46, archived)
Have you seen my
Pussy?l


I want 6 weeks of solid blue rinse and double entendre headlines.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:17, archived)
That'll be hard.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)
I'll give it a go.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)
I bet her pussy is really starting to fester now
Like a week old bit of haddock left out in the sun
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)
....And...I'm done.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)
So, how long until people begin to claim that Michael Jackson isnt really dead?
If you cant answer that, Sir Sand Goblin related movies please.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:00, archived)
The Other Goblin Girl

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:00, archived)
2 days
Goblin Bruges.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:02, archived)
A Goblin In Connecticut

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:03, archived)
Goblinpussy

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:03, archived)
The world is not goblin

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:04, archived)
Gobble and let Die

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:04, archived)
Gobblers are forever

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:05, archived)
Goblin only lives twice

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:05, archived)
U2 Songs!
Goblin The Name of Love
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:06, archived)
Goblin Bloody Goblin

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:07, archived)
Where The Streets Have No Goblin

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:08, archived)
Goblin Her Shoes

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:02, archived)
Bridge Gobbover The River Kwai

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:04, archived)
Sir Sand Goblin 2: The Klumps

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:04, archived)
I bet he was so skinny and under weight because you were snacking on him

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:07, archived)
I bet that at night when its all quiet, you silently cup your balls and moan "daddy!"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:09, archived)
But because i love you:
holy-cuteness.blogspot.com/2009/05/newborn-anteaters-at-tokyo-zoo.html
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:10, archived)
Babe: Goblin the City

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:10, archived)
three guys and a little goblin

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:13, archived)
Star Trek: First Goblin

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:14, archived)
The Terminal
(patient)
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:17, archived)

Pfft
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)
Full Metal Goblin

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)
Anal Virgins II
A Goblin Fantasy.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)
GROUP HUUUUUUUUUUG!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)
Piss off.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)
someone needs a group hug.......

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)
he'll just piss himself, and get the piss on everyone else in the hug

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:56, archived)
ARRRRR!
*hug*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)
I AM TOO FUCKING WARM KARL FUCK OFF

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)
I'm wearing a vest of ice!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)
:( it's not enough
I'm too hot to moooooooove
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:43, archived)
*throws ice at you*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)
So, what...just a hand job then?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6268293
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)
Its ok
I dont mind if you just lie there... all still like
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:46, archived)
get one of those new dehumidifiers
it's called a fridge with the door open
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)
NOT enough

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)
Mollie Sugden has ceased to be
cue stream of pussy jokes
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)
I hope this is going to dominate the news

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:43, archived)
Christ they're all at it this year

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)
did she leave her pussy?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)
...to medical science.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:46, archived)
I actually asumed someone had died when i couldn't access sickipedia.
TRUFAX
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)
mj

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)
jg

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:46, archived)
qm

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)
ORLWAYS IN AR DONERS

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)
ffm

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)
jp

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:49, archived)
papist

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:52, archived)
I PREDICTED IT
b3ta.com/talk/6266941
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)
*sticky icky hug*
urrggghh bit more deoderant needed there man
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)
Just whatever you do, dont ask for a spraying here

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)
s'ok
I won't.. want my cat intact...

OHHHH you said SPRAYING.. derrr
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:46, archived)
Right, i think we need to pool our funds and have you neutered

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:49, archived)
WOOHOOO!!
tie my tubes!!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:51, archived)
damn. i wanted you to bear my small lizardy babies.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:01, archived)
well they haven't raised the cash yet baby
slither over here
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:02, archived)
I can't wake it up.
punch it, it might help.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:03, archived)
*thump*
nope.. it's dead 'zuki.. you want a matchbox for that? Give it a decent burial
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:04, archived)
I is Zoroastrian.
give my body to vultures. It's what my strange god wants.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:06, archived)
It is too hot for this
:(
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:43, archived)
ICE VEST!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)
This sounds damp and possibly unpleasant
Maybe the ice could go in my G&T instead of the vest?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)
DEAL

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)
try driving a bus for 8 hours!
then you'll know the meaning of hot!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)
what telly are you going to unwind in front of after all that driving?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:56, archived)
your mums
after I've raped her up the shitter
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:59, archived)
I thought it was a fairly pleasant question

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:01, archived)
Not tonight, I have a headache.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)
Shit off cuntweasle.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)
I don't want anyone elses sweat on me, I've got enough of my own.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)
Poke that idea
Up your jap's eye with a white-hot needle.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:58, archived)
How to destroy an afternoon:
1: Get an office job in a coastal region of the UK, which is perenially stalked by seagulls.

2: Watch a seagull from infancy on roof of nearby building with growing intrigue into mysteries of life.

3: Collapse with laughter as colleague suddenly starts changing words in Bond film titles to suit birds of all kinds. Including "Never Say Feather Again".
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)
The Magpie Who Loved Me

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:55, archived)
Live and Let Fly

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)
GoldenblackbirdsinaPie

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)
Goldfincher

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)
Tomorrow Never Magpies

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)
Did you really collapse with laughter?
Because it doesn't sound very funny.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)
Good for a 'raise a wry grin' thread on here.
Not 'fall about funny'.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)
From Russia With Dove

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)
I was going to say
From Russia With Love Birds
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)
Magpie face JMG.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)
JMG'S ONLINE!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:22, archived)
That sounds monumentally boring.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:57, archived)
thanks for your contribution,
captain interesting
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:06, archived)
SHUT UP, CAPTAIN CANCER!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:25, archived)
Sorry.
:(
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:25, archived)
That was insensitive :( :( :( :( :( :( :( (: (:(:(:(:((9999999

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:30, archived)
Don't make me feel sad that I made you feel sad. :((((((

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:30, archived)
The Man With The Golden Gull

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:57, archived)
nice.
how are you sir?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)
not bad thanks
might go to the beach later
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:01, archived)
OMGILIVEINBRIGHTONLOLS
seen/heard from rach recently?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)
yeah she's still about
i'll say hello from you
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:04, archived)
Ta

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:10, archived)
Punch your colleague.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:57, archived)
YES!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)
Goldfinch

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:57, archived)
Goldfincher?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:37, archived)
The World Is Not A Dove

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)
so essentially your workplace has all the redeeming features of a /talk pun thread?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)
Drop Dead Thread.
sorry, got confoosed.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)

f g
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:05, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6268250
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:11, archived)
pretty much
is this good or bad?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:00, archived)
and if the only interesting part of work was making silly puns,
i would really hate the guy who whinged about the silly puns.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:09, archived)
i don't see what that has to do with my post

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:14, archived)
just saying

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:15, archived)
Sister Sledge.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)
The Living Jaylights

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)
Casino Royal Tern

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)
CAT stevens.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)
The Sugababes.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:00, archived)
They're shit.
In the extreme.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:00, archived)
Octo pussy brought in a 'present' from the garden
www.aprilwinchell.com/images/froboy.jpg
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:00, archived)
On Her Majesty's Secret Semnornis

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:03, archived)
*applauds*
*goes off to drink with paraphyletic barbets*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:10, archived)

www.diamonddove.info/bird21%20Stories.htm 's are forever
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:04, archived)
jungle Rook

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:05, archived)
0/10
poor effort.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:10, archived)
it rhymes with duck
www.imdb.com/title/tt1323503/
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:15, archived)
Baboonraker.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:12, archived)
not bird related,
but would make an excellent flim.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:13, archived)
capuchin tin

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:17, archived)
Manfred Mandrill.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:18, archived)
lemurs 24h grand prix

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:24, archived)
King Kong

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)
Stoats

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)
what do cigs and stoats have in common?
both are fine until you stick them in your mouth and set fire to them.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:29, archived)
The great
esc-ape
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)
*applauds*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:30, archived)
Thanks 'zuki
*flashes tits*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:37, archived)
I'm so gonna pander to you.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:38, archived)
This post doesnt pay tribute to sir sand goblin and his brave fight with a terrible disease
Please delete it.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:14, archived)
DIE ANOTHER DAY
:(
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:14, archived)
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GOBLIN

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:21, archived)
ON HER GOBLINS GOBLIN GOBLIN

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:23, archived)
GOBLIN ROYALE

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)
LICENCE TO GOBL

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:36, archived)
GOBLOPUSSY

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)
Diabetes is fast approaching you

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:26, archived)
Magpie Another Jay.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:17, archived)
HA HA HAAA!
Set the internet to SERIOUS.
I currently have four currencies sat here on this desk.


What is the most flamboyant currency you own?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:49, archived)
Whore's blood.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:50, archived)
OHH DT!
Why must you always be such a hoot and a craftsman of japes?!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:51, archived)
I can't help it.
It just happens.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:57, archived)
florins

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)
swedish kroner

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)
I've still got some Francs somewhere.
France is pretty gay.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:57, archived)
anyone know what types of bird this is?
Bird

my cat killed it
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:26, archived)
what the hell is wrong with you

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:27, archived)
Yeah, but what are YOU?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:35, archived)
I'm not sure...
but I think it's a dead one.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:27, archived)
CSI:WICCA
I'd tell you what it was if I could hear it call.

but that's one bird
*puts on sunglasses*
that won't sing
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:47, archived)
That's a ladybird
it's a type of insect you fucking mong.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:27, archived)
Actually having looked at the photo
it's a shoe, a fucking shoe you bellend.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:31, archived)
The shoe needs a good polish, too.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:34, archived)
A Jay.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:27, archived)
Thanks Dave!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:30, archived)
thanks
ive seen a few around lately and its been bugging me as to what it was, first chance ive had to get a good picture of it
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:30, archived)
You are so slow with your thanks.
Next time I will lie about the answer.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:31, archived)
3 minutes is such a loooooonnnngggg time ;)
.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:34, archived)
I'm very busy.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:35, archived)
Yep, it is a jay.
We have a few in our garden.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:31, archived)
Thats sick
Fuck off

/hides
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:28, archived)
DAVE!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:28, archived)
A jay.
www.garden-birds.co.uk/birds/jay.htm

You can spin it's flesh and feathers into a filament, then weave it on a looom to make a Jay Cloth. LOL ROFL.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:31, archived)
It's a jay.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:35, archived)
it's a kay

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:39, archived)
I'd guess that it's a Jay
Or a tractor. 50/50, I'd say.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:39, archived)
IT'S PIKACHU!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:46, archived)
I have nothing to say
Generic joke about regular forum user


line breaks




What is your favourite flavour of peanut?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
OH HAI WORMULUS
I LIEK DRY ROASTED
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
Hi Gonzo
you can't spell. lol
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
U R RONG. I LIEK SALTY.
I AM RIGHT I AM zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
THIS ONE!
*yanks on your tie*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
Peanut flavoured.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
peanut

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
Too slow there old chap.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
I wrote less
yet I still came second.

Well played that Gnome.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
You probably wrote it with a biro
Then scanned it in.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
You know me so well.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)
I'm allergic to nuts
and attention seekers.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
TO ZE CHAMBER VIS YOU!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
fuck you and ze mercedes you rode in on.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
EST IS EIN VOLKSVAGEN DU BASARD

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
REPLY TO GONZO
YOU JEW-HATER
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
ZE JEWS LIEBED IT. IF ICH HAD NICHT ROUNDED ZEM UP ZEY WOULD HAF HOLOCAUSTED THEMSELVES -
IT WAS LIKE EIENE HOLIDAY-KAMP FOR ZEM, BILLY BELSENS.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)
Hello Hitler.
I have some gazpacho soup, would the gestapo like it back?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
NEIN, IT HAS BEEN DEFILED BY DU JU

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
I'm hot and tired
and I guess you are too, you scarfy ponce.











dry roasted peanuts
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
+ tucked into my boomboom

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)
it shakes the room.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)
tick tick tick broom

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
Big Willy Tiems!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)
Meat

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
I like knocking them out of trees with rocks, putting them in vinegar then playing against the other boys

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)
Don't forget to say "Oddly oddly onker my first conker"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:51, archived)
The non peanut kind.
I can't eat peanut.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
MEIN GOTT - ANUZER SPASTIC!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
*Peanut hating fives*
Unless you are allergic, in which case I don't care.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
Nope, not allergic, just fucking hate them. They make me puke, bleh.
I suddenly started to like hazelnut flavoured stuff a few months ago, after 25 years of hating it. That was odd.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)
I like Coconut but that's about it.
Nuts suck.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
I think I hate that more than peanut.
And there are nuts in EVERYTHING. It's not fair.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)
Tell Noit to stop walking around naked and dipping then

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)
Nutella?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:59, archived)
I quite like those salt'n'vinigar ones.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
That particular forum user is my favourite forum user!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
aww shucks

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
Ooh- it's a female.
*Agrees*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
Don't post near me, you might make me rush out and sleep with loads of Italian men!
and French men!
and old men!

cease and desist!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
As if you ever get to sleep with any men!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)
Italic old! That is SERIOUS BUSINESS.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
fight, fight fight fight

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)
lets be honest
you were likely to anyway.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
To be honest, if I could be getting my student-on at, what, late 60s? I'ld be doing that too.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
Late 60s? What? No.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)
he's speaking from the viewpoint of a dirty old italglais man.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)
He's in his early 70s? Blimey, looks good for his age then.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)
"Is a 'OMG FOOD THREAD' better than a 'Food Thread'? Not sure."

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
Haha,
you memorised my flounce
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
If you like, I could write something horrible about you.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)
Depends on if you can still edit your uberflounce.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
Are you the new Rathen?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
Yegods I hope not.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)
what have you got against rathen?
he's probably lurking right now if you've got something you want to say to him
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)
It's you isn't it?
I have nothing against Rathen, but he seemed to have something against me.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)
Rathen had something against everyone, to be fair.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)
was it his or her penis?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)
no, i'm not him

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:49, archived)
He was very good at trolling.
A little too good, and had a tendency to take it one step too far.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)
How can you be too good at trolling?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)
Well, from what I can tell
He offended everyone on here. Which is bloody difficult.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:49, archived)
Not everyone.
And that would be good trolling. Again, how can you be too good at it?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)
at a guess you could have to quit the internet in fear after receiving offline threats
although that might just be failing at anonymity rather than succeeding at trolling
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:52, archived)
That was trolling failure.
If he was properly dedicated he would have kept going until someone killed him.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:53, archived)
or just not posted any personal info on here
then he could have just carried on regardless of threats
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)
Actually he didn't post any personal info on here.
Also, I don't buy his story.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)
i'm fairly certain he posted what school he worked at,
also, who cares he's gone now anyway
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:10, archived)
It's hard to be certain
It's a bit like eating too much cake, or something.

Perhaps we should stop here- it's not something I can sufficiently explain, as my brain is munged from being in a hot office all day.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:52, archived)
I got on with him quite well.
There was a 'no troll' list at one point.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)
ha,
you mean the people he thought he'd be made to look a fool by if he tried?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:56, archived)
With some people it would be like kicking a puppy, other's it would be like kicking a bigger kid's shins.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:00, archived)
i never kick the puppies on here, there's always too much of a queue anyway

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:01, archived)
No, I'm not anonymous. I attend bashes etc.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
He doesn't have the talent for trolling that Rathen had.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)
I certainly don't think of myself as a troll on here.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)
Jimmy Hill!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)


(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:48, archived)
i wouldn't have said you were either

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:48, archived)
I've never really seen you trolling.
More attention seeking really.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)
you don't need talent to read what people have posted about themselves on here that they probably shouldn't have
and then repeat it in a new thread
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)
Rathen had a talent for getting under people's skins.
That's what made him a good troll.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:49, archived)
I bet you regret that post about dressing up as a dragon and wearing a nappy

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:49, archived)
i only regret that no-one accepted my invitation :(

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)
it's still open btw

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:53, archived)
THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP !!! *runs off crying*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:58, archived)
i thought it was a good point

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
I agree, although it was more a criticism of Gilgamesh's inability to start any other kind of new thread.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)
I got my results today

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
Positive?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)
Yes, he's certain.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)
And?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
A certain Archbishop.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)
Get what you needed?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)
What I needed but not what I wanted.
I did a lot better than I thought I had with my final exams though.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)
Are we to offer congratulations or commiserations?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)
Congratulations, I guess.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)
Congratulations then.
Stop being so fucking grumpy.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)
I will.
I got a good grade for this year, so if anyone looks at my transcripts it will look better than it did.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:48, archived)
Well done mate.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)
Ta,
and well done for yours.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:48, archived)
Reminds me
Did you get your results yet? How did it turn out?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)
I did - I got a 2:1 and I'm really really pleased.
I'm having a year off now then going back to uni to do an MSc.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)
Well done!
Congratulations. Nice one.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:48, archived)
Thanks.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:53, archived)
Congratulations.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:49, archived)
Thanks!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)
Did you make it into Stunt Ramp College D: ?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)
Dear DG.
I love you dearly but stop being mean to me, you've said it's just internet japery but it makes me sad, online :(
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)
have you seen his face??
It's no wonder he's bitter.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)
Shush your mouth Gollum with a haircut

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)
*cuddles*
Aw I'm sorry dude, I'll stop. I wil never mention it again. scouts honour. If you're in London soon I'll buy you a nice cold pint and set you up with a beautiful lady. x x

You don't even have a strange forhead, I just made it up.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)
No skater chicks
*watches closely*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)
I fucking hate those Ice Skating chicks, always twirling and fucking off backwards when you're trying to cop a feel

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:58, archived)
Gotta hand it to 'em though.
So desprate to get a head between their legs, they'll do handstands.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:01, archived)
All the cool kids get Desmonds

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)
*High tutus*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)
Did you completely muck up a section of your course too?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:06, archived)
yup

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)
Good man

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:13, archived)
I'm entertaining myself with bash.org
and high strength coffee.

This is entertaining enough, so why the fuck did I come back here?

Meh.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:51, archived)
why did you come back here?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:52, archived)
No one ever truly leaves.
Think on sunshine.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)
This place is like the online version of Cheers Bar.
Only not so friendly.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)
I'm asking myself why.
Sometimes I despair of you lot. What would you be without ME?

Oh yeah, less bored. That's why I come here.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)
don't feel like you need to justify your presence here
i was just wondering
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:59, archived)
I stalked you on facebook for 2 minutes earlier.
wondering who you were until I read your name as you came up a friends page.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)
Why me?
I'm scientifically proven dull.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:57, archived)
*Coughs*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:58, archived)
Sorry, man.
Wasn't trying to step on your toes.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:00, archived)
I prefer Pistachios and Cashews.
And I'm aware that makes me sound pretentious. But then again, I am.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:18, archived)
I like to get my mouth around a nice juicy pink lady
and I understand that Moohala loves cox.





What's your favourite variety of apple?

lol inuendo
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)
Hang on, I'm struggling with this post too.
Is this a post about nothing.
with a question about food at the end?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)
Is that what I've been doing wrong?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)
ALL THIS TIME!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)
It's all so simple.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)
It's a pune or play on words.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
The one that's being held by a baby's arm in my pantaloons

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)
that's not a baby
it's my winky.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
OMG I TOTALLY had an apple earlier
can´t remember what breed it was, but it was ok.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
I'll bet it was a russett
you filthy whore.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
granny smith is a right go'er.
dirty mare.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
man custard apple

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
I'd have to go for the Pink Lady too.
The tastiest antipodean fruit I can think of.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
*something about a famous gay Australian*
...only I can't think of one.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
Certainly not Jason Donovan, he´s as hetero as they come

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
Jason Donovan?
Kylie?
Larry Grayson?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
Larry Grayson was Australian?
Well I'll go to the foot of my stairs.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
Pink Ladies.
They seem to be the most expensive, though.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
Tescos were doing them for £2.39 a bag
or two bags for £2 for about three weeks.

They've stopped now.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)
That's quite good.
Aldi in Waterford sells four of them for 49c, which is very cheap.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
My greengrocers does a fantastic range of local apples in the autumn.
I don't really bother with them for the rest of the year
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
The ones what go into cider

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)
See
If you had said "The ones that go in cider" I'd have said "Bananas?" which would have been hilarious- but you didn't, so it's not.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
Aw shame, that would have been great

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)
Just like so many missed opportunities.
I may take myself away and cry for a little bit.

It's stuff like that has destroyed my potential career as a stand-up comedian.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)
I bought a pack of ´pork in cider´a while back for the humorous banter that would occur when people saw it in my cupboard
sadly not many people go through my kitchen cupboards & the one that did, didn´t get the hilarious innuendo & I had to explain it, which ruined the whole thing.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)
To be or not to be...
...that is the question - Shakespeare seemed to suggest that homosexuals have a choice
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:13, archived)
*sound of one hand clapping*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)
This is where roaneah appears to let us know just how gay he is.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)
Is he gay?
Blimey.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)
He is the only /talker I have ever wanted to hit round the head with a frying pan.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)
somewhere right now, irony is happening.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)
it's why there's no women on the internet and so forth

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)
It's not ironic if you high five and wink halfway through.


and have orange slices when you change ends.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)
Would you let him go down on you?
I mean, if nobody else was looking and you both agreed to never speak of it again.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:27, archived)
Does he have a soft mouth?
You can tell us- nobody else will know.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:30, archived)
I can assure you that the feeling was entirely mutual.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:30, archived)
he seems friendly enough until he sees the pink mist
and realises he's not getting enough attention
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)
So, Marxism, how would you explain that?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)
Oh don't. Just DON'T.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
He was a proper scamp.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
I've got to think up a new one.
Maybe I peeked to early? Was thature that bad?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
basically this guy Marx right
and then this thing happened and that's why we have Marxism
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
LIES LIES LIES!!!!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
I voted for NSDAP anyway

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
No, he's not like that. He can be sometimes, but only when really stressed.
He's a bit stroppy when he's pissed, he's thoroughly lovely sober.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
He's a right troll, in fairness to him.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
He is on here.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:24, archived)
Ah- we attention seekers do hate competition.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
Wait, what? Huh?
Nahhhhhhh', didn't seem the sort.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)
I won´t stand for this bullying
he is a very nice person and in no way deserving of the disrespect everygone gives the little fuckwit him
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)
He's alright in the flesh

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)
Hahahaha
Flesh.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)

the my
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
WOW.
BRILLIANT. WOW.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)
everyone has standards.
in other news, I'm sweating.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)
is it in beads or just a general moist sheen?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)
Andy Murray is through to the men's semi-final at Wimbledon
TELL THE INTERNETS!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)
THE HYPE MACHINE IS ALMOST AT MAXIMUM

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
They'll be renaming Henman Hill soon

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
They already have.
"Murray Mount"
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)
not Andy's Lump?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
I would've preferred "Murray's Mild Incline"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:19, archived)
Let's face it
"Murray's Mum" was what we were all hoping for.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)
Nah, she's not my type

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)
I wouldn´t mind a go on "Murrays Missus" if she´s the dark skinned one they kept showing during the match

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)
She's blond and fair I think.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)
Ah, must be "Murrays Missus Mate" then

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)
tis Kim Sears
www.nancarrow-webdesk.com/warehouse/storage2/2008-w35/img.330487_t.jpg
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:27, archived)
It´s her mate I want to chuck one up

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
That's Venus and Serena Williams' dad.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:27, archived)
pfft hahahah :D

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:27, archived)
I just love his ace man duece

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:30, archived)
<s>and</s> - or
Mother's baby, fathers? maybe.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)
Pffft,
you said 'semi'.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
Woo! Wimbledon!
"WIMBLEDON DITCHES RULES IN BID TO KEEP MUNTERS OFF CENTRE COURT"
The Daily Mash


(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)
I suspect you either don't understand what that soliloquy is about
or you are making a joke about homoseuxality.

Either way, I'm not laughing.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)
I might see if I can type the whole thing from memory. Who wants to see me try?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
Go for it.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
i bet i can too, should we have a race?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
Come to a bash, we can have a Hamlet-off

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:19, archived)
i'd really rather not
sorry
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)
You're one of those anonymous b3tans aren't you?
What's wrong, got a cleft-palette or something?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)
2bor not 2 b that is th e question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them.
To die, to sleep, no more. and by a sleep, to say we end the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to. Tis a consumation devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep, to sleep perchance to dream - Aye there's the rub. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this is going to take forever, I can't be arsed.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
snigger

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)

s
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)
Yeah', but can you recite the _extended_ lyrics from Fresh Prince?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)
Yeah', but can you spell them all?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)
oooooOOWHAMMEY!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)
ZING !

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)
*tickles* only kidding bub

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)
TERRIBLE BULLYING !
/ac
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)
I know you can.
You said 8 minutes solid of Hamlet as we were playing paintball.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
That was Henry V
ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH DEAR FRIENDS ONCE MORE! OR CLOSE THE WALL UP WITH OUR ENGLISH DEAD.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:18, archived)
You were saying it and squeezing your willy that made is worse

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
did anyone shoot anyone in the face?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:19, archived)
To be, or not to be. That is the question
whether tis nobler in the mind to bear the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune .. or take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing them, end them? To die ... to sleep..... oh, fuck it, I can't be arsed, just google it.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)

nobody asked you to
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
I'm sorry, maybe we got off on the wrong foot there.
Hello, hilarious post. no really. I liked it.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:18, archived)
AIDS hitler

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
ICH DOES NICHT HAF DIS AIDS!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)
*Awards Dull Post Medal*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
i am going to click this

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)
I already have.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
Don't you mean
*Surrenders....
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)
Quite possibly!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
He was actually talking about what pencil to do the shading on his latest cock stencil.
I also don't believe you are Denise Bowles, I think you be trying to get us to pick on her.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:19, archived)
But If you are Denise Bowles then it looks like your autism engine is firing on all cylinders

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)
aHEEEEEEEN BORK BORK BORK I DO DA COLOURIN' IN

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)
Hah threadwaste.
Bikini Hula Stormtrooper fetish? Internet Delivers: randomn.es/images/715b53a1b7a1a9cda40c9c014fa1783d.jpg

29.5C here. WHO IS HOTTER?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)
I'm always HAWT DT.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)
I NO
Especially yuor nipples.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)
You are the hottest

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)
also
probably would to the stormtrooper, but only if they kept the helmet on.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)
They're probaby quite the eyesore, good idea.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)
It's a boy, Seb.


edit. also, fucking randomburn. turn up, or not?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)
he knows.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)
Actually, yes, yours did.
Thank you for that, it was a massive pile of shit, I'm using it to keep my cups of tea on. ;)
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:13, archived)
splendid
I would expect no less. at least it's going to SOME use.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)

HEY i am TOTALLY going to have a peanut butter and strawberry jam sammich when i get home.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
unless i choose goooooooseberry jam.
which is my favourite.

but the strawberry is a NEW JAR zomg.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)
This is more exciting than my evening plans
I'm going to draw a picture whilst intermittently watching Boston Legal.
Then I might play ARMA II, which is a new computer game that should have downloaded when I get back.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)
i also have to unpack, sort laundry, dig the garden and do a big heap washing up.
SIGH.

i might get the wine and smokes out to help me.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:01, archived)
Wine and cigarette will make you fat, make you smell and make you ugly
+ier
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
cheers.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
LIES
wine and cigarettes make you well fucking sexy. I should know.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:11, archived)
GOOD PLAN.
I will look after the cr3. He is ill today.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:03, archived)
make him tea and put the cat hat on him.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:03, archived)
haha, promise me you'll do nice things for him,
BUT ONLY IF HE DOES A LITTLE DANCE EVERY TIME.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
Besides, I know what ails him.
The deep-seated illness that blights his life.

There is no cure for no-chin-itis
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)
Actually, maybe RJ could give him a transplant.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)
Damn, I was just about to make this same joke with your name.
=/
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)
NO MOD?
RIOT! RIOT! *posts a dead baby*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:07, archived)
*Infects a paedo with tourettes*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:11, archived)
Poor JenK.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)
I hope you put enough stamps on
they are bigger than a normal envelope, you know.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)
27C Here. According to my little widget.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)
there is no way that your 'little widget' is 27cm

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)
wait, is that imperial or metric cm?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)
31 here and my boxers have shrunk a bit, and that's not due to broomage either...

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)
fit

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
Thanks mate, you're not too bad yourself...

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)
I want you to finger my arse with your grubby fag-stained wankspanners
you gorgeous Russel Brand-a-like Cher-bastard.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:01, archived)
fingering your ring bit would feel like I'm trying to check Popeye's teeth and it would be whirled around like his spinach consuming pipe
You fanny burger loving sexbox.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)
HB U

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)
TY :D x

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)
31C

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)
30.2C

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)
28C

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)
You won by .5 according to my firefox addon.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)
The local weather monitor station says 28C, if that makes you feel better?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)
27.6C air temperature in Sheffield apparently.
It's fucking lovely.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)
28
:(
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)
I'm so fucking hot, seriously.
I went to the pool, but they were using it for swimming practice, fuck that, i'll go tomorow at 9... just between the workaholic and housewhale sessions.

I then went into Marks where my brain turned into mush, I spent an hour in there trying to work out what to have. It was a 50/50 between a roast-chicken for sannywangiez, and some sort of pasta/carbonoara/chorizo thing I wanted to make... but then, outta no where, I decided on salad and queush. I'm sure you're all as griped by that as I was.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)
An hour?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
Just over.
=/
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)
I'm ever so griped.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)
queush?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)
Key-sh.
I also got a mellon, brought the big issue guy a big thing of orange juice, and some other stuff that I can't remember right now.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:01, archived)
crap i have a melon that needs using.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
I bought a melon last week and had to throw it out becuase I forgot I bought it :(

MELONCHOLY SUBTHREAD
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)
All da playaz in da house got/had some mellon in their fridge.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)
It's a revolting 30 degrees here
which is about 20 degrees above bearable
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)
Am I the only fucker here without a thamomiter thing?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
No, Gonzo
I don't have a Thamomiter
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
Definitely.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)
I don't have a thermometer,
but I do have this www.sheffieldweather.co.uk/meso2/index.html
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)
They should have that for the entire UK.
That's quite cool.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)
It's pretty good.
The 'lighting' button at the bottom is great when there's a massive storm moving around too.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)
Saw it.
I think this is rather good www.isleofwightweather.co.uk/live_storm_data.htm
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)
It's a good thing that shefield is a solid plat...platu....platoo...... thing, shut up, it's too hot.
Anyway, it's a good thing that it's all in equal shaddow.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)
Plateau?
Sheffield doesn't have one of those. And the seven hills tend to concentrate the heat something fierce, until the only reasonable place to spend any time is with your feet in the Peace Garden fountains.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
Well yeah, it's going to be a bit different where I am. I'm not sure where the weather station is to be honest.
But it'll be pretty similar.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
Which part of Sheffield you in then?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
West of the city centre,
near the University
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)
Oh, I know it.
Ranmoor/Hunters Bar way? Lovely part of the city.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)
Bit further north than that.
Not too far from West Street.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:11, archived)
Ah... Crookes?
There was an infamous /talker who lived that way- bit of a cunt by the name of Parrott- most known for being sexist and shouting "You're wrong" at every opportunity.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)
Bit further in than Crookes.
Still close to the students, but they've all buggered off home now.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)
Ok, in the general S10 area.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)
OMG the green needle moved!
this is like INSTANTANEOUS weather, fuck, this is soooo cool, it's like being able to stick my head out the window, ONLINE.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:01, archived)
Yep, it's pretty useful when I'm working in the lab in the basement.
There are no windows there.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:03, archived)
Yes
They're the new Pokeymons
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)
I'm just about to go and fetch one

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:13, archived)
it's currently at 31.8

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)
31.9

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)
32,1

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)
About 28 in Wakefield I think.
With a nice breeze to take the edge off.

Should be bloody hot in London tomorrow mind, hopefully I won't get heatstroke whilst seeing Blur!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)
You should move in with SickRik in Headingley.
It'd be a laugh riot.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
Rik's moving to Headingley?
Oh bugger, and it was such a lovely area beforehand.

Thankfully that's still about an hour away from me.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:03, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6267175
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
Oh Cock.
Suddenly, the North just isn't big enough.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)
I don't know who to feel more sorry for.
It's like we're turning the North into spaz-prison.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:06, archived)
I was here first!
Tango-man can move to bloody Alderley Edge for all I care. He'd fit right in with the orange peel brigade.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:11, archived)
YES !
Inside a week, Pisty will have gotten laid by 10 beutiful models, or StiRik will get a gig doing comedy at the local old folks home.... it's a win-win.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)
I can imagine in both situations /talk would be choking on their lattes.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)
35c outside
What do I win?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)
What the justice system needs is more fun and chance injected into it.
I suggest some form of 'wheel of punishment' to choose punishments and perhaps a new form of nonce test where the suspects are lined up and forced to watch St Trinians, the one who loses his juice on one of the girls who isnt over 16 gets to go to jail.

I suspect the glaring sun is getting to me
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)
Thunder Dome!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)
Its just the way my trousers hang:(

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)
From behind, yes.
*goodyear blimps*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)
I'll put this here:
randomn.es/images/f90741417675d3ea2cf9d06cd1b09b21.jpg
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

j.photos.cx/19K9F-151.gif
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)
There is a bug crawling on my screen, I thought it was on Julia Roberts' face :/

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

randomn.es/images/bf0ad290684403acccb83da14a9cce48.jpg
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

members.iinet.net.au/~pterren/Spider_Dads_hand.JPG
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)
Piledriver!
randomn.es/images/aa96dfd27259c9344a7591fc0fdb7a14.jpg
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5O7JnmUbFw
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)
I should totally put this on QOTW/OT
randomn.es/images/90d4bff94ff46faaf24eac48b0bad48c.jpg
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)
D:

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)
Did you get a telling off in the end for posting that topless shot of Rev Cleo?
Apologies if that wasnt you and im losing my memory
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:27, archived)
haha, what?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:29, archived)
Possibly topless even
I think it might have been a fake...
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:30, archived)
/b/ did their usual contrast/brightness "x-ray" on it.
It should have been removed by now.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:34, archived)
Not from anyone but cleo.
Dave Trouser found it on the randomn.es bullshit. I just book marked it. I still have it if you want a wank.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)
Ahh
I thought it was a bit odd, i only remembered because of the random.es link....

*toddles off*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:33, archived)
Was it posted on /talk, generating hilarity?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:34, archived)
It was hilarious until she pointed out she was 13 in the photo.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:35, archived)
I totally got my erection at that point.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)
i totally lost mine knowing you had one too.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)
I was already hastily cleaning up seamen.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)

randomn.es/images/c699e3c1add4654d6ab693779c53121d.jpg
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)
lol

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)
Pædotastic!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)
I'd like real tortes
just an hour of people in wigs tossing cake at each other
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

'my client intends to sue in the torte of linzer'
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)
Tortes or Tortoises?
*hurls a terapin at you*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)
From the man who wanks over Alex Mack

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)
And baby p

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)

la la la .
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:32, archived)
Hypnosis punishments
Brainwash paedophiles into thinking they fancy Jonathan King and give each of them a copy of his "Vile Pervert" film.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)
blah blah blah blah blah blah

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)
Fuck you Kristine.
Fuck you.

*sniffles*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)
shut it, penis breath
*offers tissue*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)
DEAR INTERNET USER
If you continue to mock the SERIOUS SYSTEMS OF JUSTICE.
I shall hold you IN CONTEMPT OF INTERNET COURT
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:33, archived)
A running man meets the crystal maze
type scenario.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)
If I could do one thing right now I would...
start a new thread.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)
LoLoL

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)
LOLLERPFFT!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)
LMAOWND

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)
Hello you lovely thing.
I am basking in the sun like a cat or a lizard or something.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)
CAT-LIZARD!
hello hun, I have no job :(
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)
I get leered on for £6 an hour.
Swap?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)
*Pays you £6*
stand still...

*starts rubbing thighs*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)
*forms queue*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)
damn, I'm thirds.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
happy christmas you cunt.
/rosie
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:43, archived)
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)
I want to watch 'How Stuff's Made' :(

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)
i like the ones where you don't see any humans
just ultra specific machinery

the lightbulb one was pretty cool
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)
Oh hell yeah.
The copper wire and ceramic tiles on was good too.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)
Everything on Discovery is ace

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)
i wasn't expecting much from the one about buttons
but that turned out pretty cool too!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)
I can't believe I've not seen anyone on here
mention the fact that it's Canada Day.

Selfish bastards.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)
Canada: America's Hat

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)
there is no dinosaur comic today as a result
this would normally sadden me, but i got an email from the guy who writes it last night which made me very happy!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)
LOL I have thunder.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)
id be in the pub
which is where i'll be in precisely 49 minutes
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)
Me too. But in 48 minutes now.
Imagine we went to the same pub. Imagine.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)
*narrows eyes*
is your one on strand...?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)
Why am I friends with these people:
Gemma Lewis hi ya. hope things are good. how was the weekend??? ;) forgot to ask earlier when txin.
looked at ur pic's of kurts bday very nice, looks like u had a good night- few dodgy pic of jenny!!!
take care c u sat if i dont get bombed by a paki
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)
ZOMG
Gemma Lewis is a racialist!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)
for the lulz mike
i keep those people around for sheer lulz
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)
Tell them to fuck off?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)
joiiiin ussss

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)
Finish the sentance
If I could do one thing right now I would...

Sorry I can't reply, gotta go for a cold shower, will look back later :)
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)
Sorry I can't reply, gotta go for a cold shower, will look back later :)

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)
fix your spelling.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)
get the hell out of work and go home.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)
if you don't care enough to be around after wards why post

WHY DON'T YOU LOVE YOUR THREADS MORE?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)
Let's talk about censorship.
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/film/2509129/The-Antichrist-is-passed-by-BBFC-despite-being-ultra-violent.html
The Sun passes comment on the 18 rated (and thus for adults only) film Antichrist with restraint:
The total gore level on show cannot be properly described in a family newspaper, and if you are eating it would be best not to read on.
Not pulling any punches, the Sun tells it like it is
The scenes include Gainsbourg using scissors to cut down below — and this does not refer to a Brazilian.
Family newspaper...
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)
I was wondering when someone might mention that film.
She cuts her flaps off.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)
Awesome.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)
Brilliant.
I watched 3guys1hammer the other morning, and it seems that kind of graphic horror is going mainstream.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

I'm going to take a hammer to the next fly that flies in the opposite direction from the window ON PURPOSE when I try to let it out
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)
Spray them with starch
they just glide out of the window
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)
pffft
I'd like to see the look on their faces as that happened
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)
heh yeah
"BzzzzLOLOLOLllllololooooollollBBBBbbbbZzzzzzzLOLOOL WTF!"
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

little bastards
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)
how does she close her cereal box when she's done,
if it falls over it will go everywhere :(
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)
you can roll the top of the inner bag over.
that should stop your coco pops escaping
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)
"In 1985 The Terminator was rated 18. Terminator Salvation, released this year, was a 12A. Bloody violence is increasingly acceptable. "
Yeah they're the same film.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)
It's a family newpaper if your big sister walks around with her tits out and your dad invites his mates around to have a look

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)
This is all getting decidedly QOTW

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)
"And then I fucked my dad and he was awesome as I rolled a Q4 on Dungeons & Dragons, thus winning me the match"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)
Have you been coming round to our family's Christmas Eve parties?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)
I'm usually perched on the top of your tree, playing with my ballballs.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)
Stephanie 19 from London says,
"This film is disgusting. And the things they do to people 'down there' makes me snatch cringe with terror. I would say 'cunt' but this is a family newspaper"
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)
Stephanie 19 from London, AKA Wormulus?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)
not as shocking as
what easty made me do

TEH SEEMS
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)
I might watch it.
I haven't decided yet.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)
I love the tickboxes.
"Actual sex"
"Genital mutilation"
"Torture"
"Shocking close-ups"
"Sexual violence".

Then it has the audacity to say "Ticks all the wrong boxes". Actual sex is wrong, but page 3 girls? Not an issue.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)
"WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"
giggled the busty blonde.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)
"SADDAM HUSSEIN IS A MEANIE!"
pouts Double-D Fiona, 19.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)
All those tick boxes just sound like a regular night around my nans...

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)
Shocking close-ups of what?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)
Donkey Gums' Nan

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)
She's got a little tashy

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)
Here's shocking.
Page 3 girl-type. NSFW, obviously. My point is, what the fuck have they done to her head? She's gone all lopsided and appears to have changed skin tones from the neck down.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)
And she looks like she can't play tennis

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)
Penetration I believe

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)
What in the billy fuck is a 'shocking close up'?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)
Maybe its out of focus and badly framed?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)
Apparently it shows a penis going in and out of a vagina
D:
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)
you can't say that, this is a family websi...
Oh
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)
yeah it is
but more Addams than Waltons
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)
What a load of bloody fuss about nothing.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)
You surely aren't suggesting
That the paper that promoted Samantha Fox as being 16 and straight out of school then ran a load of articles about paedophiles and underage porn could possibly have double standards- are you?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)
I hear in the end
she gets fucked by a drill-cock
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)
They have tits on page 3 dude.
Why are you reading that shit instead of looking at tits?

Queer.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)
I think they (the BBFC) are being more lenient.
I was only discussing this the other day, with my good friend, Lars*.


*It wasn't Lars, it was the Wife.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)
Did you say...
"Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark was released in 1981 and it was PG. The Crystal Skull was released last year and was PG-13. Violence is becoming less acceptable."
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)
Goodness, that's
exactly what I said.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)
The BBFC, Jobe, in these godless times, are our only moral guardians.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)
that's utter crap
there are all those people who post responses on the BBC site
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)
I'm more upset about the fact that Lars Von Trier, despite being incredibly shit,
is still allowed to make films.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)
SKY HIGH CITY GONNA SET MY SOUL
GONNA SET MY SOUL ON FIRE
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:32, archived)
So, found any nice doorways to sleep in?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)
He's going to put money in a photobooth and live there, never sitting still enough so it takes his picture so he can stay there forever.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)
hehe

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:38, archived)
i got happy slapped once
i wasn't happy about it and they didn't seem to enjoy it much either.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)
So, found any dirty slappers to sleep in?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:34, archived)
Ask Elvis on Radio 2 is legendary

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:34, archived)
Although this has got nothing to do with Galaxy High, I've now got the Galaxy High theme tune stuck in my head

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)
That one with all the mouths...phwoar.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)
I think I had a kid crush on her and Amy.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:39, archived)
Oh man, Amy was soooooooooooo hot.
farm2.static.flickr.com/1252/1404812342_9a95960c42_o.jpg
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)
Yeah, he's a pretty sexy taxi driver.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)
Sharky and George was better.
Or the Groovy Ghoulies.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:38, archived)
Sharky & George was wicked for a French cartoon

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:40, archived)
Milo de Venus = Gonzo

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)
Constipation and depression, traced to your spine
Greeted by a pretty lady, two documents to sign
Three times weekly, in 9 months you should be well
Then it's once a week, until you die and go to hell
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)
Okay so I have my appraisal in an hour.
I'm still filling the bloody thing in. I don't know if to be truthful in the 'where do you see yourself in the short term/long term'? I'm pretty sure I don't want to be doing what I'm doing but do I tell them that?

Alternatively; what's your favourite ice lolly? I like fruit pastille lollies.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:30, archived)
Say you see yourself with your boss' job within 6 months, after they die in a tragic accident.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)
don't forget the quotation marks around the word "accident"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
i bet it's because they're cock shaped!
that's my suggestion for what to write in your appraisal, obviously
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
oh someone with CANCER must have posted

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
you had your half hour in the sun

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:33, archived)
then developed melanoma in a cruel twist of fate

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)
it never rains but it pours
then ssg drowns
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:39, archived)
*plays the Morrissette card*
*trips over spoons*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:51, archived)
It has just occurred to me that if you were to say a Morrisette were a female Morrissey, you would annoy a lot of people.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)
eww

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:32, archived)
i have nettle stings on my arm, leg, foot and bottom.
they stingle :(
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)
*fights off all other pandas to be the first to ask*
do you need any cream rubbed on 'em?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

cream

spunk
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:17, archived)
how would THAT help?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)
lols.
maybe some dock leaves?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)
NONE OF THIS:
d c
leaves
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)
awww MAN

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)
if i staple enough together
you can have a fancy dockleaf leotard
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)
OH MY.
can you do me a dock leaf skirt and hedgerow flower lei?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)
i can try my best!
will it guarantee a hula dance?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)
SOMEONE will dance.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)
when i wield my nettle whip :P

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)
Don't roll in nettles then.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)
i didnt mean to.
i thought i pulled them all up first.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)
*kicks you in the cancer*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)
Just draw a picture of yourself
and then draw a picture of yourself with a beard

and then leave a footnote "hair indicates experience"
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
i am one experienced motherfucker

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)
I like this very much

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
don't say "doin' your wife"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
doin' your... son?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)
*recognition five*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:37, archived)
say "doin' your wife"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:34, archived)
she's bound to listen to you instead of me
i pushed her in a bush once. she's never got over it
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:39, archived)
Pfft

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)
it's true!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:44, archived)
I've tried pushing a girl's bush before and I got the same reaction

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:51, archived)
the pfft?
it's air escaping. they need it done every so often so they don't explode
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:53, archived)
It was a lust queef

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:54, archived)
i cause them wherever i go

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:57, archived)
it's like a squelchy fanfare whenever i come into a room

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:57, archived)
When I enter a room women engorge whatever they're sitting on due to moistness and then slap themselves stupid
in the tits.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:59, archived)
A fannyfare

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)
ewwwlol

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)
WAHEY!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)
Put something like
"Although I am currently happy in my current position, long term I feel I will wish to progress further"
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:34, archived)
or say "doin' your wife"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)
be reasonably truthful
if your boss thinks that doing this job is the culmination of all your hopes and dreams, he/she is a fucking retard and needs a short sharp visit from the smack fairy.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)
See, I was thinking something along these lines.
I'm just trying to figure out how to write it without saying 'not working in administration'.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)
get me out of this fucking job you fucko
thanksverymuchbye
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:41, archived)
kthnxbye
surely?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:04, archived)

well...are there any opportunities within your company for you to get out of administration? Ask in your appraisal, might be an opportunity to get somewhere via moving within the org rather than looking elsewhere
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)
then emphasise the company/area
rather than the job "I've enjoyed my time working for X but think that working in administration at this level is ultimately not testing my abilities enough and so I would aim to progress, possibly into Y area or Z area.

alternatively, "filing? would you like to stick your head in between them and go rbbrbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrbbr, too? I've got a fucking degree, you cock, a monkey could do this. and would probably be less inclined to fling poo, too"
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:48, archived)
Ha ha ha ha.
I love you.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:55, archived)

We the American working population
Hate the fact that eight hours a day
Is wasted on chasing the dream of someone that isn't us
And we may not hate our jobs,
But we hate jobs in general
That don't have to do with fighting our own causes.
We the American working population
Hate the nine-to-five day-in/day-out
When we'd rather be supporting ourselves
By being paid to perfect the pasttimes
That we have harbored based solely on the fact
That it makes us smile if it sounds dope.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:56, archived)
hey! that's not an acrostic!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:59, archived)
Whiab twhwbtt, brother.
Whiab twhwbtt.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:02, archived)
Yes tell them
Or they will never consider you for anything else.

And rape you to death.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)
I wish I had considered this when doing staff appraisals
"so, minion, currently my options are promote you, demote you, leave you where you are or rape you to death"
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)
It'd be a hard one to get past HR
But once they begin to see the benefits of raping staff to death they'll come round to the right way of thinking.

It could even be a slogan for attracting new employees to companies

'Pricewaterhousecooper;we'll rape your career'
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
ultimately, though
we could get it past HR by raping them to death. Win-win situation, and the circle is complete.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:49, archived)
Oi.
*Is in HR*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:55, archived)
then
please, PLEASE come and sort my HR out?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:02, archived)
What's wrong with it?
Aren't they CIPD trained?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:09, archived)
I don't know
I've only actually once given them a proper HR problem to handle, which they promptly bottled and left me to handle. So I'm generalising as usual.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)
That's a shame.
There's loads of free HR advice out there, ACAS are really good.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)
I know, but .... that's what they are bloody for.
Otherwise, I might as well not bother. Except I have to follow all their rules for recruiting. See "I'm not allowed to interview someone that I alone am employing with my own funds because I haven't been on the HR 'interviewing people' course.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)
You are nice though, and focus on the 'human' part of 'human resources'

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)
*Beams*
Yes I am nice. As long as people don't take the piss. Even then they get a chance to hit the undo button.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)
Ive come to the conclusion that HR are mainly aces.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)
We do our best.
The trick is to be trusted by both employers and employees and be known by both to do the right thing.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)
Say something like "doin' your wife"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)

I just found the most boring competition ever to be run
www.frizzell.co.uk/unison/car/competition_winner
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)
Next week's competiton: "Where is my pencil?"

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
in your 'biker mice from mars' pencil case
PRIZES PLZ
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:41, archived)
No fair!
You saw me put it in there!
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)
you didn't put in any small print about
people who know the answer not being allowed to enter
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:49, archived)
:(
"nowhere 2B found"
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)
if that won
what kinda entries lost?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)
"UNISONPlus is...
I've only got one leg."
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)
pffffft
"UNISONPLUS is...I've enclosed a fiver, mums the word!"
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:09, archived)
UNISONPlus is...
i bloody love you've been framed
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:46, archived)
Say something like you want to broaden your horizons and grow within your position.
You want to learn more about how others work in order to better understand your own work.
Also, you'll be doing their wife.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)
i keep getting those every year and I never fill the things in
they do not honestly want to know what I think of their management style...as its shit.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
I'm quite fond of Nobbly Bobblys
*has one*
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)
You should see a doctor about that.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)
stds are on the rise in your area

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:45, archived)
this is a rare thread where most people have ignored the food-based question!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:47, archived)

hummus and felafel in pitta with salad, a bag of pretzels and an iced coffee...what?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:52, archived)
minimilkminimilkminimilk
And yeah, tell them. I work in a pub and they are completely aware that I'm just doing it for the money and something to do.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:47, archived)
'bebop, not rocksteady'

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:52, archived)
casey jones is the best

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:00, archived)
Of course you tell them.
It's an appraisal, not a telling off. You tell them you want more skills, different skills, to move up, sideways, do different things, etc.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:04, archived)
In other news, I've just spent the last hour recording a twenty strong Swahili a capella choir.
Turns out people do actually say hakuna matata.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)
Jumbo, assanti-sana !

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:14, archived)
Yes, yes, I know I'm very very sexy
you don't have to keep going on about it in Swahili.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)
Magnum, definitely.
I've just finished one actually, nyom.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:10, archived)
Just cry all over the form
That'll be awkward
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:16, archived)
ACE

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)
i am trying to write a book before i die of cancer.
what do you think so far?
imgur.com/5dkGc.gif

lolol i kid i kid, i can't be fucked writing a book before i die.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)
I think you should write a book in the style of a sad dog.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)
His voice should sound like Mr T in your head.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)
As long as you die.
That's the important bit.
Remember, die.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)
Where did you find that?
It's given me the urge to kill.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)
doesnt take much does it
you would make a awful critic
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:04, archived)
You're an apostrophe short;
please wait while I fetch the clamps.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)
For teh lulz
www.b3ta.com/links/Daves_Magic_Mix
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)
if you do finish it
could I have a first edition as it would be worth a fortune once you go all eurrrggghhhhhhhhhhh
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)
wow, it's like 'regular poster on /talk' wrote a book!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)
i am actually in the process of researching a book,
but i'm not going to bang on about it on HERE, until, of course, i do.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:05, archived)
wonderful

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)
it's about the history of crisps and snacks,
if you must know.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:09, archived)
will it be like the 'nicecupoftea...' book but more savoury?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:10, archived)
not at all.
it is to be a dense historical tome.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:13, archived)
will it be leather bound?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:14, archived)
depends

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)
i only buy leather bound books because they go with the sofa

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:21, archived)
doesn't really sound relevant to my interests

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)
that hurts to read
:o(
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)
that be cancer of the eyes

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:04, archived)
sweet cuntfucking jesus.
that can't really be a published book, right? say it ain't so...
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)
it's an l ron hubbard

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:07, archived)
I don't know whether this should surprise me or not.
I mean, I always imagined his science fiction would be a bit rubbish, but I'd never taken the man to be semi-literate. You don't get to be a famous author by having the writing standard of a 10-year-old, do you?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)
I actually read all 10 battlefield earth books
not that bad but accidently started reading the scientology book by mistake as I thought it was book 11.

gave up as it was bollocks.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:21, archived)
it's actually kind of interesting
in a "look at the progression of this guy's mentals" kind of way.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:26, archived)
I started reading the Dianetics book
had to stop as it was making me very angry.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)
really?
you're taking the piss, right?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)
I've got Dianetics, and it's piss boring,
but at least if it was handed in to a primary school teacher, you wouldn't get it back again with a list of corrections to do.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:17, archived)
afraid not

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:19, archived)
dear God.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)

It's everything that's wrong with self-publishing.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)
I just got stung on the bottom of my foot by a motherfucking bee!
Why was there a bee on my bedroom floor? Oh well, it's dead now lol.

Silly bee.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)
This would be a far better opening paragraph than any of those in the above.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)
I've just about had enough of these MOTHERFUCKING BEES in this MOTHERFUCKING BEDROOM.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:16, archived)
bees on the floor
with samuel jackson
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:23, archived)
You could try
racing bikes.
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)
oh man it's like it's the late nineties all over again

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:07, archived)
How did he get his leg over in the first place?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:09, archived)
he found someone equally repulsive and racist who wouldn't mind.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:09, archived)
Oh Nick Griffin you scamp.

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)
he just stood there and they built the bike under him

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:11, archived)

by using this
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:11, archived)
or this
www.just-patient-lifters.com/ALTON.gif
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:14, archived)
hahahaha WEEEE! I want one :'(

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:18, archived)
well it's only 365 days until your birthday!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)
YAY no wait....
D:
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)
what BIRFDEE SHENANIGANS have you got planned, deeg?

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:26, archived)
I was reading that and thinking 'oh hey, this is pretty normal' then BAM, IT'S 2048
MIND BLOWN
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:11, archived)
the original series of transformers is set in 2005!

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)
THAT'S IN THE PAST

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)
MAYBE ONE OF US IS A ROBOT

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:23, archived)
BEEP DO NOT BE RIDICULOUS FELLOW MEAT CREATURE

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:25, archived)
change the spelling of cheral

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:23, archived)
Bloody hell
how did that even get published?
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:27, archived)
you posted it

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:30, archived)
The publisher thought it was brilliant.
The publisher was also the author, of course...
(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:30, archived)
*head in hands*

(, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:41, archived)

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