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Who wants a lovely cup of tea?

(

Druid, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:24, archived)

i722.photobucket.com/albums/ww224/UltraWarriorSFN17/MeganFoxLegRub.gif
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 18:24, archived)

ooooh

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

she's like a cat
rubbing some anal secretion all over her fur
(

rob, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

*watches over and over*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

OCD
poor lass.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

That's like Vic Reeves, with a sex change.

And no glasses on.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

And sexy

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

Are you saying you prefer Bob?

(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

No
Quite the opposite
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

If someone can be arsed to put it into an editor and change the frame
times to 0.01s.
(

Druid, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

Oh please
I was just about to get up and make one.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

Put your knickers on first

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

How rude of you to imply I'm not wearing any, you should be ashamed!
*tuts and shakes head*
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

But it's Friday!
*pours himself a beer*
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

I might have a boozy drink later but I'm waiting for syz to get home
I don't like drinking when in sole charge of children.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

Drinking is the only way I can cope with being the sole person in charge of children.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

I don't really drink hot drinks.
I get told this is weird most days.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

Man, that's weird

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

Don't worry, I've already been told today.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

SuperMatt is the same iirc

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

Nah.
Thanks anyway.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

Already got one, ta.

(

FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

My big laptop just died :(

(

Druid, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

You've been meaning to send it back for years :(
Back to base for it, I hope?
(

FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

Sounds like it.
Or I might just give it up as a loss, it'll cost more to repair than to replace.
(

Druid, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

I just switched mine on and it came up with BSOD
What have you done to my laptop Druid?
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

"Blue screen of Druid"

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FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

Haha!

(

Druid, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

I'll post you my yorkie mug.

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

Send an SAE so I can post it back, full of steaming hot tea.

(

Druid, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

ME ME ME.
I did 8.30-17.30 in the ASS today and I'm knackered.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 8 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

I expect this will make the popular page.
No doubt clicked furiously by the sexually deprived among us.

*Clicks*
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

Ouch.
Long bumlove session, that.
(

Druid, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

Arts and Social Sciences library innit.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 8 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

yes please.
And some shortbread.
(

Batsgirl, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

No thank you
Some cranberry juice would be nice, but I suppose I can go to my own fridge.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

Needs more BOOZE

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

No
I am not drinking. *sticks to it*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

10 minutes I sat and watched 300 people get on my train
Not once did I think "She's nice". Come on, train using ladies. Sort it out. I'm allowed three good ogles per shift. Who's first?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:30, archived)

Well, JMG had posted and all.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:31, archived)

Sit down, Trigger
Think joyous thoughts of football or something.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:35, archived)

Listen.
I love the thought of you packing heat looking at women who you'll never score with as much as the next man.
But before you whip yourself up in to a gale force fairy, I suggest you take time out to think about the poor people who really don't care about your mundane trips from A to B.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:38, archived)

It's not just you, there's loads of shite on here I don't care hearing of.
You provide some of the more "switched off JMG" moments, mind.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:42, archived)

For example.
90nz0 and SexFace living together.
I don't care less.

Now, whenever I sit here and imagine the situation. I see SexFace's headboard thumping against the wall whilst he fucks some poor bird he met on BlogTV.
Whilst 90nz0 listens in from the next room and frantically fondles himself with one hand whilst plowing into a take-away with the other.

Gentleman's club downstairs, etc.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:43, archived)

both of them are smoking pipes

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

Now I envisage hats made of suede.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:45, archived)

and thick horn-rimmed glasses
2.bp.blogspot.com/_k1ELk4CUZAs/SVEhsOhiWAI/AAAAAAAAFio/Ie-5I1hoQVs/s400/g.jpg = gonz
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:46, archived)

YES!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:48, archived)

Sexface and 90nz0.
They could solve crime.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:48, archived)

Constant 1920s slow car chases and cad-bashing

/ I always introduce myself to b3tans as JMG just to watch the human housechests get all puffy in the neck.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:51, archived)

So I've heard.
Smashing!
I'd ask everybody on meeting them if they were 90nz0.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:52, archived)

They get sweaty palms and the social awkwardness doesn't allow then to pass comment.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

We all deal with our own inadiquaces our own way.
For example, some people touch others inapproprately while making 80s gameshow sounds to hide the fact that there is nothing going on upstairs relivent to the conversation.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

Haha, now THAT is pure sex appeal.

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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

Oh! Are they?
Congratulations chaps.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:51, archived)

There will be wedding bells in no time

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Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:52, archived)

Terrible bullying

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

Steady on, Mary
You'll do yourself an injury. Tell us something un-mundane about your multidimensional world. Like what's for tea, something like that.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:45, archived)

"Trigger", "Mary"...
Alright Red Rum, calm down.
I'll do myself an injury. 9/10.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:46, archived)

I DO always go on about my tea, mind..
That IS me to a t.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:46, archived)

I WANT IN ON THIS TESTOSTERONE-PACKED SUBTHREAD!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

I'm pumping iron whilst logging in to FACEBOOK.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

Hold up, let me just put me bra & skirt on

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:31, archived)

*fans self*

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

I might bung the stockings on & all, seeing as it's Friday

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

oh dear, oh dear oh dear
Stockings are not bunged on.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:36, archived)

Especially not nylons, they're a bugger.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:39, archived)

Meh, you know I'm not worth ogling
Dig out a pic of your lady.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:32, archived)

This, plus I don't get the train
and Fluz, shush, you're a right little belter. Nice face like a painting and that.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:36, archived)

You're one of the few ladies whose spine I've seen
Ding, and indeed, dong.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:40, archived)

My discs are looking hot, baby!

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:43, archived)

You heartless bastard, I was fluttering and everything!
what I was fluttering i'll leave to your imagination...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

It may have been my 'trouser butterfly'...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

*whips out stllettos*

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 8 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

I don't get people who go through red-top papers and insist on commenting exactly what they would like to do to 'that', and how she would love it.

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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

It's the same as when you see Attitude magazine in WH Smiths

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:35, archived)

Or Monthly Country Smallholdings Magazine

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:37, archived)

Cor', fuckin' 'ell, what would you do to THAT if it was in the local corner shop picking out her numbers for the lotto?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:35, archived)

Let me guess, the Airedale line?

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:35, archived)

Yessum
It's a great shame.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:37, archived)

they all looked terrierable

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:40, archived)

Jesus, you guys are on fucking form today

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:14, archived)

I think that's what he's complaining about

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

So then.. Let's have a early roundup in the SexFace vs Wormulus matchup.
Who do you think is currently on top?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:29, archived)

This is like a midway through the first half recap..

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:29, archived)

RR and myself are in the studio. GMoS is providing abuse from the gantry.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:29, archived)

Baldmonkey is on the touchline punching children in the family enclosure.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:30, archived)

Who's the one with the shorter vagina?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:31, archived)

I think they are both little cunts

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:32, archived)

I'll look into the formbook.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:32, archived)

it's early days jammie
i think they should change their names to wormface and sexulus
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:31, archived)

This'd confuse us all a billion times over.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:32, archived)

These names are both improvements.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

I think Wormulus has got a face like a toddler' s shin and Sexface has got a face like a Sainsbury's plastic bag that has been blowing in the wind for 2 weeks and then got trod on by a dog out of spite.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:32, archived)

An excellent report there from our reporter in the field, a Mr. D. Gums.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

Back to you JMG at the headquarter's new desk *punches a fat child*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:34, archived)

GOD DAMNIT THIS IS THE BEST NEWS NETWORK ON THE TELEVISION!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:36, archived)

Society is losing.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:32, archived)

But one must go!
It's a battle to the death! Online.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 17:34, archived)

I'm making a BIG CHICKEN PIE for tea.
You can't have any though. Here. Have this Weetabix instead.
(

Malchick, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

NO, INTERNET!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

FOOD FOOD FOOD
and NO exercise.

These fatties are eating themselves into an early grave

*sadface*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

Is it you in a pie?
I don't want any if it is.
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

I'm having a ham and disappointment sandwich

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

What's disappointing about it?
~~No ham, or is it giving you the flu?~~

Oh dear, sorry!
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

It would work if you did it properly
The internet is just a series of tubes after all.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

So what has been stuck in b3ta's tube today?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

A raspberry cookie pizza
I tried to post a link to Gonzo earlier and it clogged the tubes.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

I bet you've put semen in it.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Not his

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

He doesn't have any.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

I'm going to say that it was Druid's.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

Druid can only do cumy wees

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

I'm doing sausages
chips and beans for tea. When I can be arsed.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

Hows the non smoking going?

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

apart from Saturday night, when I smoked lots
I'm doing fine. No ciggies till then and none afterwards.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

:-)

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

I'm having tuna steak, jacket spud, carrots and califlower
nyom.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

I'm in a dinner limbo
I'm waiting for work to tell me when I can go in to start shift, but I could be waiting another 2 hours or so
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

*puts thumb and finger around nose and moves it back and forth*
Know that that is?

Fuck Nose/ Knows
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

sne

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

super nintendo entertainment....

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

sne© stands for sharp nasal exhalation.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

Oh, a nose laugh?
I see.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

Don't you mean, I sne?!
HAAHAHALEHELGOEO!!!
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

Awwwwww.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

sweaty nippled ecstacy

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

I went to town and back and the same thread is here.
RIDICULOUS.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:36, archived)

I bet you went to town and back you bean bandit!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

Pfft

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

That's weird
I eat food too.
What are the chances?
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:43, archived)

Chances would be a great name for a potato based snack product
where one bag in six contained arsenic
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

Chick peas are peas but for GIIIIRLS
HENCE THE NAME.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Hummus is lovely.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

~~Hum~~ Man
s ck
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

not on your nelly.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

DAMN YOU. I LOVE THE HUM TOO.
WHO AM I?!!?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

Mr Bun the Baker.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

Favourite method of torture?
Say you have to torture people, and you can get away with it. If you had to choose one form, what would it be?

I'd peel people. I'd hang them from chains by their wrists, and peel a centimetre wide strip of skin off all the way down, then rub some salt/vinegar/whatever into it. The fun thing is, if I do one a day, by the time I go all the way around them the first strip's healed and I can pull it off again.

You?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

I think waterboarding is the current choice amongst the kids.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

I can't envision a situation where I would need to torture someone, sorry

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

If they were female,
I'd stick my willy in her.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

Torture, MOT, not stealth.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

Why do you insist on bullying me?
I'm nothing but nice to you
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

Poor MoTty, I couldn't help myself. I shall pat your little face and sing you a song.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Also.
I'd peel them too.

Starting by removing a toe a day to open up the skin for peeling.

Then i'd peel them inch by inch, once a day, while giving them medical attention to keep them in pain, but alive.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Issues *rocks back and forth*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

play them a constant loop of dogs barking jingle bells

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

That's a good one. On headphones, I presume?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

That sounds cool
torture me pls
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

QOTW

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

I'd probably couple it with some sort of sexual practice.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

I'd give them a day to choose which bit of them I cut off.
That would mess with your mind.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

staple their eyes and mouth shut
and smear their hands with dogshit.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I would remove their source of alcohol, then make them sit through repeats of Terry Christian's TV programs.

Nasty, I know.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

You BASTARD.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

It's bad, I know
But what other use is there, for Terry Christian?
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Word.

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

I'd constantly poke them in the cheek with my finger while they were trying to go to sleep.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

Eew, I hope you'd make sure their bottom was clean first

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Sit them next to Piston for a few minutes.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

*five*

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Force them to pleasure Piston orally
whilst he boasts about how sexy he is.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Christ that's sick.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
Honestly.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I took it too far.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Jesus
you went too far
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Ugh, worst minge cringe in a long time.
Cheers, Wormy.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

Whispering eye cry

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

*disturbed*
Some things you may want to keep to yourself
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

Lock 'em in a room with Piston Broke.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

When I worked in insurance broking years ago, one of the MDs told me about the Kidnap & Ransom annual newsletter
It's basically a list of the horrible shit they're doing to kidnap victims around the world.

He informed me that in the phillipines if kidnappers think the family/company are fucking them around, they video themselves blowtorching out the victim's eyes and then send the videotape to the family.

I was actually nearly sick when I was told that, I wasn't very desensitized then.

When I saw hostel a year later I nearly threw up again.

So yeah, that.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Also, a guy I know spent a long time telling me about how he'd hang people from a ceiling then smash their arms and legs with hammers
He smoked a... lot... of... weed... dooood.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I smoke a lot of weed, maybe there's a connection.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

THC = Torture Happy CRAZYTIEM

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

I need mini cheddars, sushi, chocolate milk, pretzels and KNIVES.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Yay! Sushi!
Wait, what are doing with that AAARGH!
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

it involves a sharp knife
and chilli essence
(

weaver., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I'd make them babysit my nephews.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I'd not let them taste my bacon sarnie
no matter how much they begged.
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

Gosh!

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

I'd lock them in a room with a very easy-to-influence mad young chap
who had just read every single comic strip on electric retard.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Needs more Hitler and willies

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

I rang NHS direct for information on Swine Flu
All I got was crackling.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

IS THIS BETTER THAN A SEXFACE THREAD?
Vote now!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

I thought they were the same person for a while.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

Well this month is our lucky month, b3ta!
It's a Sexface vs Wormulus all out war!
ONE MUST GO!

In the event of a tie, Pickle Fairy is executed.
Terms and Conditions fully explained on the JMG Fan Club page.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

If they are indeed the same person, that implies a tie.
I vote this. I vote this hard.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

BAN-ZAAAAAAAAAIIIIII!!!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

No.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

immeasurably

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

The thing I like about you
is you are both funny AND original. It's a rare combination.
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

WELCOME TO THE TOWN OF STALE JOKES
POPULATION: YOU
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

I just worked out something momentus.
Now there's only one thing holding me back from finishing :D.

Jenpots, you can swear at me now.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

when you've done properly
I'm only going to be nice whilst you're working.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

Yeah but I just understood something that was both in russian and c.g.s units,
converted it to english and SI units, then solved all the maths.

I think that deserves some bullying.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

bullying? I'm rubbish at that.
I'll just call you a cunt.

Cunt.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

This Mex me sick

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

Why did the mexican throw his diseased sow off the cliff?

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

*some sort of flu/flew wordplay*

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

A: Tequila
B: Cheaper than a divorce
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

Because he was an under-educated member
of a third world country, and didn't realise that Pork can't levitate?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

*sigh*
I mean, really. Even by your standards.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

I bet thats not the first time you've said that to him

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

HA!

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

First time without her mouth full

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

Full?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

I want to be a bitter, twisted fanboy
so I can post bile on IMDB about the new
Star Trek

Geekness inside me makes me have to see this.

What do you hate?
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

Life :P

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHA,
you fucking loser.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

As of the last 20 minutes,
the Russian language.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Why?

(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

Because stuff makes no sense in it.
Even their mathematical symbols are different.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

They write back to frunt!
Innit
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

No, that's the japs.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

They write top to bottom

/snigger

*bottom*
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

/s
This racism sickens me.
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

it's the perfect character set for their language
Polish should use Cyrillic too, it would be so much easier.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

I know it's the best character for them.
It's just when I read papers in foreign languages with the latin alphabet I can follow them no problem, despite not being fluent in most of the languages.

This Russian malarky is making it hard to even follow the maths, especially as they don't use SI units.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Nothing.
Maybe Cheery Tomatos.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Yeah, those red gleeful bastards.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

CHEEEEEEEEEEEEERY DOHMADO

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

putting on socks and finding there is a large hole in it and taking it off and not being able to find another matching sock so I have to take both off and it's just the shit uncomfortable socks left

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

It's an air conditioned Sock,
silly!
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

no, it's a broken sock you pov

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

How about sewing it up?
With a darning needle and thread?
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

Don't swear

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

DARNS YOU TO HEAL AND BACK

(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

if you'd said "heel" it would have been much funnier
as it stands, you're a twat.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

Darning it up would in essence
heal it.

And socks dont stand, the feet inside them do.
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

you're making a twat of yourself.
Please stop.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Thanks for the concern.

(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

I'm nice like that

(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

Do it like the povvos used to
and sew it up with your hair!
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

nowt
I'm a happy soul.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

Baked beans, dickheads, Girls Aloud and the idea that all gizmos for women must be pink.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

HOW WILL IT LOOK LIKE A COCK OTHERWISE?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

Deep breath, start again.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

So you only stop to change the batteries?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

Stop?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

........ CARRY ON!

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

There's a cafe in the o2 called S&M - their motto is:
You can never get enough sausage.... Oooerrr.

They have Sid James and Carry on clips running all over the place.
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

Do they do brown bread ice cream?

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Yes, yes they do!
You MUST try it!!
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

actually, the pink thing does irk me a little
I really like hot pink. Hot pink and me can totally get a room. But baby pink? noooooooo :( And all bike gear for girls seems to have accents of baby pink on.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

It's like they think we're all fucking 4.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

see also: games for girls
FUCK OFF WITH YOUR COOKING AND BABY AND HOOVERING GAMES YOU BUNCH OF CUNTS WE ARE NOT ALL ASPIRING TO BE HOUSEWIVES AND BABY FACTORIES and breathe.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

Innit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

My mate's little boy has a teaset
so he can play tea-parties with his cuddly bunnies. I love him to pieces!
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

He's showing early stages of lovingbumsitis

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

we know
He's always been gay. His big brother calls him a freak. Her kids are more awesome than mine.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

HEY IT'S JUST AS BAD FOR US MEN TOO!
I feel really ashamed trying to buy them so I can learn to become a catwalk model horse trainer baby burper :'(
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

haha
I'll do you a trade - you buy me WoW toys and I'll get Barbie's Horse Riding Adventure for you.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

This calls for:
www.deagostini.co.uk/ilovehorses
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

*shakes hands*
Don't suppose you're about this weekend to help me monkey bums? I'll give you goldz!!!! I've got 200g burning a pantie hole since I know you're busy trying to level and don't want to take your time for free :) or even one of your guildies wanting some extra cash for 30mins work? Don't worry if not :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

damn I forgot you're still trying to do that
sorry hun. I should be free this weekend - was away all bank holiday weekend. I'll be on Saturday, so I'll help then :)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

FANNKOO SO MUCH MONKEY :D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

My mate did her dissertation on games for girls
I believe she just grumped all the way through it.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

fucking 4 what?
/someone had to
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

justice.
On top of the Houses of Commons dressed as the fantastic 4.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

now there's an image

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

Full of them, me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

Some of the names of shades is ridiculous
ask any man and it'll be pink, ask a woman and it has to be 'baby' pink, 'powder' pink or 'hot' pink. What kind of shade is hot anyway?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

hot pink is bright magenta-y pink.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

so what's magenta?
or fuschia?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

Also bright.
I don't know, I like green best.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

fuschia's a little bit more purpley than magenta

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

this
baby pink is pastel.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

So why not say bright pink, light pink, dark pink
pale pink etc? It confuses me when you give them names
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

Dave Pink
Steve Pink
Alan Pink
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

Pink 182

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

Daft Pink

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

Pink Panther

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Your buying Gay man stuff, silly!
Girl stuff is light red.
(empty_personality, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

it's like red but not quiiiiite

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

my tool set isn't pink
I shall be using it with man-science to put up 2 beds and 2 bookcases. I shall also use woman-science and read the instructions.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

My tool set isn't pink
I've got MANTOOLS.

Reading the instructions is good.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

my ex-MiL had a masters in Engineering
and when she insisted on helping me build my MFI-esque furniture, she still fucking broke something. I give her ONE bloody job to do, assemble a drawer, and she cracks a massive corner off it that I have to glue and clamp together again. I might as well have built the whole fucking desk with my bare hands from a tree.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

the beds are apparently
a 2 person job. I can't think of anyone I trust to help, that won't either break something or take over.

I'm sure I'll manage.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

they only mean that cos you'll need someone to hold a long bit horizontally at some point
a bean bag is a good equivalent for all things otherwise demanding a second human.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

That's the conclusion I came to

(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Nothing.
I'm a ray of sunshine, me.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

Cheryl Cole

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

I'm in the cinema now
waiting for it to start! Yey the lights have dipped and there's only two other people in!
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Are the other two a couple?
:(
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

I've never seen a Star Trek film, interesting broadsword fact for you there.
Also, I don't tend to hate stuff, it takes far too much effort.
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Very little

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

I'll tell you who I don't hate, yeah'? The big black guy in Green Mile.
He's such a gentle giant, I don't see why anyone would want to hurt him.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

every single last motherfucking one of you

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

love you!

(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

I hope the bits under your eyes get all puffy and saggy so that you look like a bloodhound.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

I hate...
...the shitters on airplanes. Particularly when someone's had a satisfying crap, just before I go in there. Bastards.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

Read also: trains.
If you've got that much of a dicky arse, empty it at home beforehand.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

exactly
*seethes*
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

sibod

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

You.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Look at us!
Down here like beasts
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

Ah.
Bottom dwelling.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

+old women's
+r
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

I'm going to cook sesame prawn toast tonight
And have a dip of teriyaki mixed with soy sauce.

What's your favourite forrin food?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

banana

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

bananas make my mouth sore
still eat them though.

/retard.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

it'll be fine once you can control your gag reflex
but seriously: really? bananas are soft and gentle creatures, how can they make your mouth sore?
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

She's been eating them sideways

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

probably allergic
to them and Kiwi fruit.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

maybe she freezes them first?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

huhuuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

I like food

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODIO

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

Haha ^this

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

NO INTERNET! NO!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

Go on, JMG
fucking 'ave 'im
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Sorry
I may have caused thighs to wobble in delight
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry
curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry curry
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

YOU FANCY A CURRY
LOL
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

Edwina Curry

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

I do lol

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Chips

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Frikadellen and falafels.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Oooh, I tried felafels for the first time on Monday
They're lovely!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

I lived on them, almost, when I was a veggie.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

WANT
Where on earth did you get Frikadellen?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

Germany, mainly.
Although you can now get something approaching them from Tesco and Lidl and places like that.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

JapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapanese
JapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapaneseJapanese

or a nice English Fry Up.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

oooh, Japanese is a good alternative to curry

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

You can have both; a Japanese curry

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

it's not the same
good, but not the same.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

It's like a pizza hut pizza and a proper Italian pizza.
The same, but totally different.

Both need to be consumed at one point i.e. Puzza Hut when you're with your mates and are so drunk that you're only just not quite sober enough to drive.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

JAPANESE JAPANESE :D
Now I want Unadon!
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

KatsuDon/ Katsu Curry would hit the spot right now.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

pork pork pork nyom nyom nyom

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

I'd like a japanese english fry up
where everying is formed from super future food
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Robot bacon.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

godzilla eggs

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Teenage knicker-toast.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

haha

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

:D

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

The worst thing about loosing my job down west end, is the daily chicken tyrakki sushi.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

s'all a matter of opinion innit
depends what I'm in the mood for

In other news, there is only one other person in the cinema with me. Awesome.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

Go and sit next to them.
Bingobango, it'll be your cinema.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Go to get some popcorn or something, and ask them to save your seat.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Cheeese
No petril...PETRIL
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

So, B3ta opens a fun fair.
which attraction or ride would you run?
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

The JMG ride.
You go in with pent up aggression and come out in full tears.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

The House of Mirrors
so everyone can experience being a shortie.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

I read that as looking like sammi

sorry sammi
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

you'd need some pretty messed up mirrors.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I didn't laugh then
not even a little bit, oh no.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

cunt

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

go back to work you cunt.
when you've done, I can sit here and swear at you properly.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

I AM WORKING.
I'M READING SCIENTIFIC PAPERS IN MOTHER FUCKING RUSSIAN TO TRY AND WORK OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DERIVATION.

I CAN'T READ RUSSIAN.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

shush shouting
there is no need to shout at the little jenpots. You will make me cry and then I won't be able to swear at you.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

Hold me.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

Or those mirrors that make you look thin.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I'd be the snog for a penny shag for £10000
no fat chicks, or men.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

actually I wouldn't
I'd probably be one of the cunts that spin the waltzers faster and then get a quid/2quid off people
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

Waltzers make me puke

(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

someone lower on the pikey scale can clean that up

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

The wife's ex's mate
lost her virginity under a caravan to a pikey at the fair, who then refused to acknowledge her existence.

Shouldn't laugh.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I am laughing.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

It wouldn't be funny if they weren't such god-awful bitches.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

pikey porking

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

Showing both breeding and self control.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

but we did

(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I still do, when I remember.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

One of the waltzers broke off in my home town.
With people on it.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

haha
fucking have it.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

A waltzer fucked my back up!
I have a lumpy bit halfway now. Should really get it seen to, actually.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

they're death traps, I love them.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Rides are much more exciting if there's an actual fear of injury or death

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

none
I'd be the pikey pick-pocketing everyone.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

None of them, I'd be the test rider of all the fun rides.
They'd need testing a lot, obviously.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Candyfloss CDCs

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

CandyCox?

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

Flossycock?

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

Cockyfloss?

(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

You'd get pubes caught in your teeth

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

[Insert female b3tan of your choice... esspeicaly you, yes, you reading this, if you're a female b3tan]

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

Gilgamesh and Rob have called you names in the past weeks.
How do you 90nz0 an internet favourite, intend to refresh your image on the internet?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

pressing F5
LOL
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

LOLRR!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I'm an online japester and all round good egg.
I have it printed on my business cards and everything.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

I demand we all get cards for our SECRET INTERNET FRIENDS CLUB.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Semisonic cover band.
Everyone loves a bit of Secret Smile.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I just thought you'd taken to winding up Sexface.

(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

I can't wait until he moves in.
We'll stay up until 1 o'clock in the morning in our PJs, eating Ben'n'Jerrys and talking about how we can get you to be his girlfriend... with an Adam Sandler movie playing in the background.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

you both make a lovely couple.

(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

No.. SexFace is embroiled in a bitter standoff with Wormulus.
It's neck and neck.. Wormulus has been laying down some killer lines while SF's been away to the shops.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

I have been enjoying this too

(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

nobody knows it
but i've got a secret axe, and i'm saving it for when semisonic come to tea
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

pfft

(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

the haunted house
you'd go in on a little cart, then all the lights would go out, and everyone would come out covered in ectoplasm
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

sticky white ectoplasm
right?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

as much as i can muster

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

the steaming hoolerblader.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

The air rifle shooting stall
With the bent rifles and dodgy knackered pellets
(

M o D, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

Fuck me, just imagine all the burger vans

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

haha
*single clap of appreciation*
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

I don't know but I'm reading something in russian despite not being able to read a word of it.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

The coconut shire
But instead of coconuts I'd have peasnuts all nailed to the stick with floorboard nails.

The prise you can win is a romantic meal for one with me. You get to watch me eat then you come back to the backseat in my car to make out and let me touch you.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

*puts 100 pound on the table*
how many goes does this buy me?
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Half a ball.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

*cups*

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Poor Doris

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

The Pug Hug Cushion only makes my Broom-on more musky...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

oooh, i hope i win i hope i win i hope i win

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

So, he didn't go to ASDA, he went to Sammi's place.
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2414852.ece?OTC-RSS&ATTR=News
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

Those horse bastards aren't far from me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

*confused*

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

Sorry, other news.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Christ, that's just up the road from here.
Bastards
(

M o D, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

Yep.
I don't live in Amersham any more, but I used to.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

Check your Gaz

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

~~Gaz~~ underwear
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

Goatworrier, I want your shitstained undercrackers on my pillow when I get home.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

Who says I wear any ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

Could you, just this once.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

It looks exactly the same as a few minutes ago, thanks.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

Just checking.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

I was worried that you had put me on ignore.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

I haven't, I'm just choosing to save whatever spite is in there until another day.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

In that case I would ask you to indulge me and read them now.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

She won't reply to your daily requests for some sort of affair either?
I'm begining to think I should give up.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

haha, I love you.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

If you and I breed, we'll have some sort of superjew child.
I'm not sure I want to be McLovin's mum.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Ohh, we've GOT to now, just so we can breed revenge on the austrians.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

superjew!
That is my word of the day. I shall have the daughters say it at school.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

god help me gonz,
i feel awful.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

*applies mint tea and hugs*

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

what a cure!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

Are you ill?
Yes.

Try some antibiotics/Dr House/dry toast and bedrest.

Thanks for your concern, Captain.

No, thank you.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

And I miss you when you're around
but I'm never lonesome when I'm by myself.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

have I missed something here?
Are you suggesting Sammi looks like a chimp or has a broken arm or what?
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

She said she lived in a zoo before.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

oh I see.
Thank you for clearing that up Gonz
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

I sometimes forget that people can't think what's going on in my head.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

Asda Asda Asda!
Woo Woo Woo!
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

But
Sammi looks like a chimp, so who is the Zoo Keeper ?

Well I say "chimp", more like a downsy chimp, reanimated as a zombie after a hideous death.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

You won't be mocking him
when he stabs you while you sleep.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

Oh gonzo, I'm on my way to the cinema
To watch star trek. Alone. Life just isn't fair.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I think I would prefer to watch Star Trek alone
no annoying people that know less about it to irritate me with their MASSSIVE IGNORANCE OF STAR TREK ;)
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

oh!
I would've come to the pictures with you. I'm going to have to watch Star Trek alone too.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

The four of us can go on a double date !
Me and Toppy, you and russ !

We should go on a wed, because then I can text my friend to get me a Orange Wednsday ticket. They've got a special offer on at Pizza Express now, that's a bit like Pizza Hut only they don't spray the pizza bases with oil.

I'll suggest we sit in the back row, because you get the best view there.

*Big Yawn and 'arm around your back' trick*
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

my phone is Orange
can I be TUTT's date?
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

Oh god yes, that's a much better idea.
I'll be Russ's Man-Date.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

*cops a sneaky feel when the lights dip*

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

Oh Toppy !
If I wasn't enslaved at work this weekend, I would totally come up to see a picture-show with you !
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

What's the gayest animal
in the world ?

and why ?

you cunts
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

The Baldmonkey.
He buggers the sailors.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Goat
Because of the scraggly beard
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

shave it
then
fuck it
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Only not in a gay way
othewise that defeats the object of shaving it.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

I bow to your knowledge.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

You have to clean all the poo off it's bum
and wipe a kipper round it so you can legally say you thought it was a vagina in court.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

Get yourself a new internet lawyer
/ac
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Duck Billed Platypuff

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Flamingos
because they're big pink ballet birds.

edit: Flamingoes? That looks better, actually.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Homopotamous

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Cuntopotamus
Is a brilliant word for a fat woman.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

I struggled to get my tongue around that

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

See
exactly like a fat bird.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I think you'll find when it comes to mouth skills, we're Olympians.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

They do so much with so little.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

Wormulus

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Gay.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

:(

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

The greatest atrocities ever committed on this planet have been in the name of Cock Tuesday
This country was founded by the Puritans for the express purpose of oppressin free worship
Your attitude is the same arrogant fearful fundamentalism
that fueled the hatred, of the Crusades and the attacks of 9/11
If we are not allowed to worship Cock Tuesday as groups and individuals free from persecution
and respect for tolerance, there's only one outcome
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

You are such a Jew.
Stop being opressed by me.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

This is the story of YOUR MUM and me.
www3.signonsandiego.com/stories/2009/may/07/1m7lopez233959-boy-15-testifies-he-had-sex-godmoth/?metro&zIndex=95160
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

Lucky bastard

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

Why would you give up such a sweet thing like her.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

Queercat

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

Flamingo
fucking pink for gawdsake.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Pufferfish
Puffin
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

The Moohalaasaurus.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

Not even the gayest dinosaur.
That honour goes to the Velocifister.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Chocolate Starfish

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

Rimmingocerous

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Flying Felch

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Felching isnt exclusively gay though
I mean we all end up doing that early on a relationship when you've come and she's like "Is that it ?" and you're like "Awwww do I have to ?" and she's like "Well, do you want another go later ?" and you're like "GMphllgblech*vom*slspdlplplplplp"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

You're all wrong
it's got to be the chicken right.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Cos they love the cock?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

Not as good as
cause chicken is gay slang for a young gay
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

I'm not up on the parlance that you 'bears' use.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

flamingo
cause, well, you know.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

It works out a lot
dresses really nicely and likes hot cock up it's cloaca ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

Uphill Gelada

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

Cottagingtail Rabbit

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

Cows.
They're made of mince.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

Chutney Ferret

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

Ponies
They are just gay horses.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

The Downs horsey

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

Pugs
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDwmTF-GH1M
(

M o D, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

got to be the Homo Sapien

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

Ringed Seal

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

The Bear.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

The Margay.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

The zebra.
Oh just look at it, poncing around the savannas with its stylish coat.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

Panda
This is why thet aren't breeding.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

COCK TUESDAY
HERMIONE
WOOP WOOP WOOP

YOU CANNOT WIN.
ADMIT DEFEAT!
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"

(

SuperMatt, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

*checks watch*
Strange, doesn't show that it's shit o'clock
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

HaHa!
classic stuff.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Did I lose 4 days?

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

There's only one loser in this thread. The one at the top.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Maths aint your strong point then?

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

I think he's gone to ASDA.
This'd be very harsh.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Since there is no way to test my theory
I CLAIM THE VICTORY.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

I think the big man SF will have a rebuttal to such claims, mind.
We'll have to wait and see.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

JMG, we both know
Nothing - Nothing can stand up to Cock Tuesday.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

It's a fine case in point.
But SexFace should at least be allowed to make a counter argument.
Or at least blame JMG for something.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

I await your judgement

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

I appreciate the effort SexFace is going to to try and knock me from my perch
I really do.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

*gets you in a headlock*
*charges people £5 to have a shit in your ear*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

*pays £15*

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

Dude
It's totally £20 to shit loose stools full of AIDSy blood man.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Can I wank?

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

I wish no harm on you or your people.....
But seriously, go play on a busy road.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

why does that picture of me dressed as a woman 6 years ago show up when i google sickrik on imagesearch
but i can't find it?

:(
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

Shut your orange hole.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

Which one?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

Bum

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

SickRik coming in with a late equaliser.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

img223.imageshack.us/img223/1917/gmosrikig7.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

I read that as "Google 'sickrik' to see me hilariously dressed up as a girl"

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

I read the paper instead

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

If you google yourself 666 times
you disappear up your own arse.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

You, you, you.
Fucking hell, did I miss the Attention Seeking Day memo or something?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

Dude attention is like magic
the more you give the more you get.

Share the love, share your tubby, virginal love, man !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

Fuck that shit
have you heard that Sexface is going to Asda?
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

I hear he's there by now
hell if you read this a little after 2pm he may have even bought some ASDA VALUE MINCE
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

OMG OMG OMG
I can't WAIT for him to get back & tell us all what he bought. I've nearly browned myself in all the excitement.
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

~~nearly~~
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

My thread is shitter
WINNER
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Sexface 1 Wormulus 1

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

I fully endorse this battle of the Southern chaps.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

Raised in West Yorkshir from the age of 4.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

and my days were spent roamin' on the moor

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

*keyboard cats*

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

~~INN~~ ANK
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

I made this
here
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

If we are spamming compo entries
b3ta.com/board/9427010

yours is way better than mine
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

I killed a man once

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

Where and why?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

I will only judge you when you tell me what colour he was.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

brown

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

*salutes*

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

Only one?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

linky linky woo woo
www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue377/
(

rob, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

that's early

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

I have a 3pm meeting with a doctor
my aids is playing up
(

rob, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

I'm a registered G.P. and I reckon you're just fine.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Well good work on the newsletter
and I hope you don't die in pain.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

One of my good friends is on holiday in Florida and has contracted Swine Flu
100% Trufax

By way of association anyone who replies in this thread will now contract the illness.
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

this is good - the trick is to get it early
so you're immune, coz once it mutates etc etc
(

rob, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

Ill let him know this
Should take the sting out of spending a few grand on a holiday and spending it in quarantine.
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

I'm hoping to contract CJD in hope that it will immunize me, sorta like chicken pox did for small pox.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

im thinking you already have it
:)
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

Fuck you before I start eating all your glass and milking myselfMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

Sadly there is no cure for ginger.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

I'm afraid I can't make it.
Call my secretary and reschedule.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

JMG endorses this.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

I fucking love the West Indies accent.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

[something about big black willies]

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Lolololol

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

heh
I like doing this one
www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/jackanory/stories/video.shtml
(

rob, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Fucking hell, Lenny Henry's got fat!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

keithaharmon.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/fifthelement_alien.jpg
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

Pfffft

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

I'm getting into that story now.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

rastamouse is cool
one of my sons favourites, and a great excuse for the adult reader (i.e. me) to do a Jamaican accent.
(

rob, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

Lenny Henry should stick to that, he's good at it.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

man reads autocue
gets cash.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

What,
like beer can sandwiches?
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

Hehe

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

blimey

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

Stop acting like you own the place

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

Here's the Prince of Whales now.
Ready to make it all up and moan away another Friday.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Hurray!
That's something to click away at during my break.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

oh yeah, right, sure
like I'm reading that load of crap
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

don't click, it's tubgirl

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

Internet!
It's me, JMG!
Who's already welling up and preparing a scathing remark?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

JMG!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

Onions again, I see.
*Firm handshakes*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Absolutely!
I always liked him.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

OH MAN!
this is lush!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

Give me a second.
I'm about to think of something REALLY SCATHING.
You'll probably cry.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

Almost there.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

you're going to say "a cup of really hot tea spilled into your lap"

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

Wait, what, hang on, you've distracted me.
*starts again*
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

thank god you're here
they were talking about the sodding weather JMG

the weather

that's nearly as bad as food
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Careful, you'll remind them that clouds look like c*ndy fl*ss.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

So I see..
:(
I've often commented on these rough indoors types getting themselves worked up into a lather over a drop of snow.
Then going on to complain about ice a few days later.

Fat people are very bi-polar.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

I am. Always.
But not directed at you, JMG.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

I'm just too gosh darn SMASHING.
*Nod of approval*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Hello Jammy, and indeed, the internet in general.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

Hello Esme specifically.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

Ireland!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Newcastle!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

well, yes, ok, I'm flicking through my internal rolodex of critiwiticisms
but they're not aimed at you, Jamster.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

A relief, here for me!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

JMG admitting that he can occasionally succumb to a stoutly-delivered tongue-lashing?
the great man his weaknesses after all
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

What are your opinions on the new star trek movie?
Watch or not watch?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

I've never seen a Star Trek film.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Are you going to watch this one JMG
I MUST KNOW THESE THINGS
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

Isn't Natalie Imbruglia just so lovely?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

No.
She hangs around with Tories.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

She also goes out with a singer from "Nirvana Light"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

Gary Barlow?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Nah the bloke from SilverChair
they're shit.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

I've had her
she left a dreadful sweat stain on the matress, the filthy cow
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

She's out of my life, now.
Thank you G.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

and she has a facial hair problem
and body odour
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Often in my head
rarely shared.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

That's the best way.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

You've got to learn to let the anger out every now and again.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

I have noticed /offtopic now have a decent thread system
Is this paving the way for you to be mod there?

No scathing comment I'm afraid
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Let's hope so.
I think I'd be heralded and championed as a hero within the hour.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

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