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Has anyone ever watched a porn movie all the way through?
5-10 mins is enough for me :D

how about you?
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

i watch them for the articles.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

no, I have sex instead.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

Out of context cli-oh wait.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

:P

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

WELL LA DE DA!
LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUAL SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

LA DE FUCKING DA

WHY DOES NOBODY LIKE ME

*shouting and tears before bedtime*
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

it's ok GMoS
I said it on the internet, that makes it not true really.
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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

this ginger ale is ridiculously gingery, it's more like
GINGER ale
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

I have sex a couple of times a day
but still need to wank a few times a day as well.
:(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

you're INSATIABLE, SSG.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah....yeah'.
So, Sammi, Dole, been looking for any jobs?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

Oh man i miss Sammi.

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Once, while dubbing a soundtrack onto it.

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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

The Benny Hill song, I bet.

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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

That would have been awesome.
If I'd speeded up the film a little.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

I like to watch porn played in reverse.
The women put their clothes on and the penis is like a little vacuum cleaner.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

hahaheeeeew

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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

When converting VHS to DVD, sure, why not

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Is anybody here Dole in the UK?
I unfortunately am, but was very shocked when I signed on that they didn't even bother offering to help with a job search, ask me what I'd done to look for a job or even suggest agencies. It's like they're accepting that you're not going to work or something. Has anybody else noticed this?

Alternative question: What's the weather like there? W4 and miserable here (Grove Park)
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

Grove Park is in SE9 isn't it.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

Nope
W4, other side of the GWR from Chiswick
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grove_Park,_Lewisham
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WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Don't confuse the simpletons

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Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Ah, I'm in another Grove Park
maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=grove%20park%20chiswick&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=il
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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

you noob

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WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Noob with a pool in my garden :D

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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

That's a birdbath you spastic
:P
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

For what, giant ostriches?!

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

SQUAARRK!!! *climbs in*
actually I don't know what sound they make :S
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

I've only heard the cunts hiss :s

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

you need a gynaecologist, stat

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

arf!

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jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

She slams face down into it to cover her eyes and nose
after three minutes, the resulting breathlessness is enough to convince her she's done 15 lengths.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

That's just a skip full of water, not a pool

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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

That would be a well good way of getting a cheap jacuzzi, convert a skip.
I want to do that now.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Yeah', well, well, yeah', well....
I got a council paid house on Bishops Avenue. The big modern house with the New York Apple Store thinggy.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

Hippo enclosure at London Zoo?

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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

Funnay
Grove Park you spastic
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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

Grove Park has a hippo enclosure now?
Cool!
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

Wow, we should totally b4sh0rz there.
HOUSE PARTY AT SAMMI'S !

Bring your swimming costumes and harpoon guns !
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Moby could provide the tunes
/relurks
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The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

TOO LATE, WE SEE YOU

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

"Hello, kettle?
Yeah, this is pot, you're black"
(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

They took one look at you and knew you were going to spend the rest of your life draining society
you utter, utter cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

I support this opinion
although may have used more utters
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

I'm in ur economy
drainin' ur rezorces

LOL
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

It's raining men,

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Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

+se

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The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

mense?

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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

I was on the dole for years
It was a right laugh.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

i think they have recently had a large influx of people needing to go on the dole,
so probably don't have time to fully take the care that they used to.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

I was unemployed in November,
they were useless.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

They aren't the ones who are unemployed.

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Ow!
TO HIS FACE!
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

They were fatter than me on the whole

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

That's because they could afford nice food.

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

I'm not unemployed now by the way

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

But you're still ugly.

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

I have cleaner shoes than you.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

I find that VERY hard to believe!

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

It's true,
I bought them yesterday.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

I'm Dole in a different country, which means I'm getting far more money than you, but I had the same experience signing on.
Let's face it, they know the economy's banjaxed, and they've so many povs to deal with that they haven't the time to grill them.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

For some reason, I'm getting twice what people get my age here

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

That's still a lot less than you'd get here.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Lucky you though
I'm not sure how much I'd want to leech off other peoples' taxes though :\
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Well I'd rather be working, but if the choice is between living reasonably comfortably on the dole or sinking into debt, I know which way I'm going.

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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

The dole here is so shit.
If I do need to be dole, I'm going home to do it.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

We need you over there keeping an eye on the ancient foe.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

I was a few years ago
It's shocking really, they give you that card and you have to write down at least 4 places a week you have searched for jobs. Other than that they don't give a shit.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

Are you too retarded to use the unbelievably simple job searching console things at the jobcentre, or use the website when you're at home which is EXACTLY the same?!

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

Nope
And I have been doing so, it was the principle of the matter though.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

Perhaps you should in fact be happy they credited you with some intelligence

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

Good point
Some of those people were treated like right mongs.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

NW1
Sun and rain. Make your mind up.
(

Jobe, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

WF2 - pissing it down
Nope, I wasn't allowed to have any dole, due to being a sensible girl and saving my monies.
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jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Yeah, I blasted my savings moving to London

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

I'm not not blasting my savings moving to London
that would be stupid.
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

I had my reasons

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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

Really?
That was pretty much my only selling point when renting out the room, the promise that you'll move down here soon, and maybe someday you would be his girlfriend. He really wants that, he was even saying the other day "Gosh Jee, I sure do wish Jenpots was my girlfriend. A guy like me can feel proud with a gal like that.".
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

you know he will slap you for that
:oD
(

jenpots, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

He would not just shut up about it !
I tried to explain to him that you're a dirty bitch (in the good way), but he wasn't having any of that, he was saying that you were so lovely that you wouldn't be interested in that sort of thing.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

In case you hadn't noticed, the job market has taken a bit of a dent in the last six months
oh, no, wait, you're dolescum, you're too busy stuffing your face with McCain MicroChips in front of Trisha to notice little things like the economy.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Nah, I'm too cool to be unemployed.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

haha, yeah! we're definitely having some weather here! oh yes we are!
get a job, hippy
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Clickin' this

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Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

I was going to gaz you to let you know a weather thread had started
I know you'd hated to have missed it.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

HOLY SHIT
I just looked outside, there are some weathers here too
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Sunny here
Hope it's nice over the weekend.
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Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Luckily I've never been dole.
It's kind of sunny but cloudy here.
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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

No, I'm a scummy student and part time civil servant
and it's showers and sunshine here. very windy. S11.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

searching for one yourself is much easier
go down to agencies on the street, they are really helpful, CV, how to dress, how to conduct interviews etc...

Whenever I needed a job I have got one within 2 days in the past, good luck buddy - agencies the way forward :o)
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

I have just booked some flights for a summer holiday
and will thus be lazing around a Spanish island with no clothes on.

Who or what would you least like to see on a nudist beach?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

Goatse

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

Real one?
or me?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

The joke is that it could mean both,
"joke" may be putting it a bit to strongly.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

I GET THIS JOKE.
Aha.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

That's because you've got a advanced sense of humour.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

I also got several extra layers of meaning that even you didn't know were in there.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

It's amazing how much funny I can jam "between the lines"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

ugly people

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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

body facist
I will not cover up for you!
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Meg Ryan.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

Germans

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

I wonder if Gordon Brown has a small willy.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

I bet you "wonder" about that a lot

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Now I'm wondering that
*sadface*
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Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

i can't really imagine him with a big one.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

How do you think he put his eye out?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

haha

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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

don't blind me with your rules and arrogance,
let's find the time to laugh and dance.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

he has a jaw like a nutsack
perhaps he has a nutsack like a jaw
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spacefish bong!, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

I don't think I fancy putting myself on a nudist beach.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Thank god.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I'm not quite sure what the point is, but if I were on one, I would be in appropriate attire.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Top hat and tuxedo t-shirt?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

just a malevolent grin.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

and a raging hardon?

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

r d
d r
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Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Is that a physics joke?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I'm a physics joke :(

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

how's the cracking on cracking on?

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

I've got to go clear up one thing with my supervisor at 13:30,
just one bit of a derivation. As soon as I've got that sorted I can do the 2000 words I've got left today (I've planned out what I'm going to say, I just need to maths to go with it). Then tomorrow is tidying up etc.

Then sunday I'll have to go pay about £40 to print it all.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

In total my dissertation cost about £45 to print.
Loads of glossy colour prints for graphs etc. Binding and all that malarkey too.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

Binding is done for us,
we're not even allowed to bind it ourselves.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

That is a bit odd.
We did have to hand in two copies so the uni can keep one on file and give our marked ones back. That was the main reason was expensive.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

We have to hand in 3 unbound copies.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Blimey!
Speaking of work, I must get on. I have a 10,000 word portfolio to write by midday Monday. Eeek!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

Yes, a hadron is something very small
Ergo he was insinuating that his erection would be barely noticable.

I think.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Explaning jokes ruins them.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

Yes, sorry

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

no, it makes them better!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

daging harron?
lololol
(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

You get less and less awesome every day.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Arf

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

no, I've been through the aroused by anything that resembles lady stage of my life

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I've met you I think
at a bash, you'd probably get away with it

*internet stalks*
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

have we met?

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

Flickr stalking

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

I've met you.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

We swapped shirts (:

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

yours made it look like I had tits.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

hmmm, maybe not now I think about it
I may be getting confused, my memory is not what it was
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

i've cracked one out over your flickr account,
does that count?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Magic.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

this picture in particular
www.flickr.com/photos/topupthetea/1000761164/in/set-72157594294878352/
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

I wouldn't mind a small one
maybe not one in the middle of a load of other non-nudist beaches.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

The Labour Government

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

GORDON BROWN'S DEBT-DEATH-SOCIALIST-DEATH-DEBT CAMP IS UPON US
/AC
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Sand.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I AM MOTHER FUCKING HILARIOUS

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

YOU ARE NOT FUCKING KIDDING!

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

Me
Sand in all the wrong places. Eep.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I wouldnt mind nudity on a beach if i was alone
or perhaps with a lucky person, but being naked on a beach in front of a bunch of other naked people? hmmmm... no thanks!
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I think after a while you'll stop noticing,
just get on and read your book.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

could someone wake me up when there's a post I give a crap about?
thanks
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

you might want to go into a coma for a bit.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

Why won't you be mean to me?
All the best people get beasted by you.

oh..........
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

I've got fish fingers and chips

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Bark

(Police Dog bark bark bark, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

arent' you meant to be barking?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Ooooo, massive muffs and fat
I had not considered this due to the fact that I and my good lady are both fucking hot and therefore I assumed everyone else on the beach would be also
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Did you think about the old people?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

who are you and what have you done with police dog!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

I'd like to point out that I've never been to Jersey and someone has forgotten to sign out of their Police Dog account
NOT ME!
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

haha rumbled :D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

A massive gelatinous blob of skin cancer
undulating across the sandy dunes, tanned a charming caramel on the places that aren't crusty black scabs of cancerous flesh weeping a sticky thick pus that looks like melted lemon marshmallow.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

SAGA Volleyball
That is all.
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Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

what island?
*is in spain*
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

One of these days someone is going to commit suicide live on b3ta due to lolmentals
Suggestions as to who this would likely be and why?

Obviously: Me-chronic pie famine
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

You: chronic pi-ah, bollocks.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

chronic pie bollocks

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

Probably one of the many headwrongs that post bollocks on here.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

Mykeyboy.
Pie overdose.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

They'll find a throat full of unopened fray bentos tins at the autopsy

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

JMG
Not enough people talking about him
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

Who?

(

Jobe, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

i dunno.
some random dick.
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

Marcus DeSade

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

He'll get his dad on you, he's an internet lawyer you know

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

Yes but he definatly isn't Autism

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE NEED INTERNET LAWYERMAN

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

Marcus DeSade was the last time Friz was actually funny

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

you oxy moron

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

It'll be someone we least expect
Rathen or you
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

You're an artist with delicate artistic sentiments
It might be you.... *strokes chins*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

MY vote for "least expected"
would go to L-Space.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

good call
or Shambles
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

how would we know they topped them self

would we have to hope they fall forward and mashajwremgiavjikgwhjhik,wH and post message?
Or do some people have a program that will post 'blarg im ded' if they don't refresh within a particular time limit?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

haha, succinct!
i'm totally nicking that
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

I nicked blarg im ded from somewhere else anyway

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

second hand stealery!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

it makes it all perfectly legal

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

actually this is true
in the event of your death, who would tell the internet? Not YOUR death specifically.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

his death will be both hot and plastic
the runes have foretold it
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

If you die
can I interfere with your corpse ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

of course
I'll be dead, I won't care.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

I would seriously hope people from the internet don't turn up at my funeral
in fursuits and trenchcoats
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

If you die
I'll buy a hideous one and come along to eat all the nibbles.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

Anyone can be an hero!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

Killyourself
doitbecauseofthemassiveirritationofsomethingnotusingtheirspacebar.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

argharghargh

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

Are you a cockney?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

oi!
Don't make me sweep your chimney gov.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

No
encyclopediadramatica.com/An_hero NSFW

It's a hilarious term for suicides
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

you know for a fact that I'm at work
so you make up some fake NSFW link to "prove" your point.
I'm unconvinced.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

The baroness is correct

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Police Dog
jump into from of a fat person trying to get an autograph from Cher.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

i made police dog a picture
but it's on my computer at home and he never posts out of office hours

woe is me
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

Awww. Send it to Gonzo. I think Police Dog is his internet girlfriend.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

i'll keep waiting
one day... one day
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

I would feed Police Dog some of my leftover Chinese Food
and pat his ears while I watched Hollyoaks.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

Pickle Fairy?

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

Hah don't be silly. Police Dog has got too high an IQ and only flashes his privates by mistake due to not owning any dogtrousers.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

lol

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

ENTRAPMENT !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

BUT IT'S TRUE!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

I'm betting it'll be Bou
in a ball of flame and fury and Sync-cock.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

They'll be filming 'A Perfect Storm 2' in her vagina and the oil tanker with rupture a gravy vein.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

sweet jesus, the swell!
Paddle for your lives!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

*SPLOOOOOSH!*
glub D:
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

I'm going to top myself tonight, and write an open letter saying it's all your fault because of the constant bullying
And then you'll all be like "Oh shit, what have I done?" and live the rest of your days out guilt ridden.

Then, one day, you won't be able to take it any more, and will top yourself.

Except I won't feel guilty, not only because I'ld already be dead, but because you're a fat cunt.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

Can I have your nintendo?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Can I have your flat?

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

As a Jew you'll be going to hell anyway
SO really, its just a matter of dates with this
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

If Hitler went after people like yourself, he would be considered a national hero.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

What
in the UK?
(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

He did go after gyppos and mongs
to be fair to the man.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

About half an hour ago there was a programme on 4 called 'Crip on a trip' (I shit you not)
Basically, a 20 something cripple and his mates went around Europe. They went to see a Death Camp, and one of the guys said it had special meaning to the cripple because he had 'Jewish blood in him'. That and the fact HE IS A CRIPPLE WHICH WERE ALSO KILLED
(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

it's the ultimate unanswerable question
what would you rather be, jewish or crippled?
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

either way you wouldn't be doing manual work I guess

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

you selfish bastard, why can't I have some of the glory of bullying you into suicide?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

How are you comitting suicide today?
I'm getting a rope from B&Q, hoisted over a fresh timber frame (wood came from Placito Timber Building Supplies in Chertsey, you have to try their MDF, it's to die for).
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Oh man, what's your favourite wood?
I quite like Mahogony.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

One of the 'personalities', who form exaggerated personas to mask chronic self worth issues/loneliness.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

So, take your pick. I've hardly narrowed it down.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

ooh, me then!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

I choose you, team Rocket

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

It ain't gonna be me. I'm fucking tremendous.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

So the entire north eastern autistic contingent?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

WORMULUS WINS!

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

Didn't some mong off /board do the decent thing a couple of years ago?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

Yeah

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

Good

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

I always miss the good stuff

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

Me. It'd be death by TOO MUCH SEXY

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

Yours, or someone elses?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

Mine, my own, all mine God damn it.
HELL YEAH.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

You ain't all that

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

she fucking is

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I've let her sit on my knee.
That's the sexiest she's ever going to get.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

"We tried our best.
We managed to pump out a couple of pints worth from her stomach but in the end, it was too much."
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

Have you ever seen someone feed a bird to make Fois Gras?
It'll be a bit like that.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

SEXICIDE

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

Probably Friz, due to lack of attention.
Or Sexface, due to lack of sex.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

His new nose doesn't help him in his quest at all

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

I'm not going to commit suicide.
Just so you know.

I'll probably die from a climbing accident though.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

don't say things like that
i haven't got the time to follow you around with a crashmat hoisted onto my shoulders
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

How can you commit suicide while typing ?
Your vast fatness has ovewhelmed your brain. You probably just have pie and chips in your head now.

Silly boy.

I wouldnt be surprised if one of the lesser mortals on here will say "OMG LOL ITS 2 MUCH I ARE GOING TO KILL MYSELFS" and then return as a n00b a month later pretending they "heard some kid killed himself on here"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

JMG flying his bi-plane into the centre of the alien mothership
thus saving the human race.

The aliens later complained to the mods.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

pfft :)

(Police Dog bark bark bark, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

DOG LAUGH!
I bet it sounds like Muttley.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

Probably me, due to my accute mental illness.
But if I do, I promise to make it interesting.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

the more oaty the biscuit, the better for cheese
discuss
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

*is absolutely fucking riveted*

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

~~riveted~~ ryvitaed
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

I don't get this, he asks us to discuss something, then doesn't reply to anything so there is no conversation.
It's like this place is turning into the local special school's twitter account.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

That would be a dream come true

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

No, I won't.

(

Jobe, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

Oh do!
please.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

I put it to the right honourable gentleman that the level of oats in a biscuit have nothing to do with the strength of the cheese.
And furthermore that he did wantonly lust after his mum last night.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

I'm eating discount brands chocolate digestives.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

~~discount br~~ d ~~chocolate digestives.~~

gl

EDIT: Stop correcting your typos, we all know you're stupid really.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Even before the ninja that would have been
"I'm eating gians"
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

GLANS
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glans_penis nsfw really obv

YOU SEE, I CALLED YOU GAY IN STRIKETHROUGH FORM
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

GET A ROOM

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

WE'VE ALREADY GOT A ROOM

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

Yeah but what about that time we did rumpy pumpy.
Does that make you a man?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

Just because you draw pictures of it all day doesn't mean it happened

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

You think about all those gaps in your memory,
everytime there's a gap in your memory, I plugged the gap in your clunge your legs with my willy.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Don't use my amateur alcoholism as a cover for your lechery any more.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

Fine.
No more clunge plunging.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

I'm eating the biggest bestest salad in the world!

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I don't know when I'm going to have lunch today :(
I'm also busy during ALL THREE broadcasts of neighbours today.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

I'm still disgusted with some lardos who put salt on their salad :S

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

I'm still forming an opinion on that.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

It's like putting salt on your breakfast cereal

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

not really,
it's not the worst food crime,
there's salt in vinergarette and most salad dressings.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

And parmesan is salt in cheese form

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

Anchovies are salt in fish form

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

there's already shit loads of salt in breakfast cereals anyway.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

indeed. But just straight salt? blerg. it would be all gritty.
No wonder loads of you guys have chubberboobs.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

Salads are usually quite moist, add a bit of nice salt and half of it would be absorbed by peppers and such
Using shit table salt would be a crime.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

did you get my email?
I think it may have been blocked.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

I haven't got it, no, :*(

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

Probably right. I am just imagining someone just shaking it on like they've got some chips infront of them :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

I put pepper on lettuce
not much though
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

my dad does it. but i dont.
this one has tomatoes and peppers, so it really doesnt need it. plus coleslaw and soft cheese on the side. and chicken. and grapes. OH MAN YUM.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

Oh man, I think you could be right there.
Digestives make quite good crackers for cheese.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

*is absolutely fucking riveted*

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Cheese hobnobs?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Ok I've had a thought about this
And some white stilton with strawberries would go absolutely fucking brilliantly with hobnobs. It would be like eating mini cheesecakes.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

Hobnobs + Philli + Strawbery Jam....
It helps me think that I'm a giant eating a whole cheesecake in one bite.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

*sigh*

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I bought a sainsbury basics cheese fourpack and was impressed
even with the inclusion of wenshitdale with shitberries
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

nooo your biscuit science needs more work
I am pretty sure that the TUC style is best paired with cheddar
the stinky blue stuff tastes pretty good with those digestive style ones that look a bit like a loaf of bread
and the dry cracker ones should only be used with soft cheese or challenging your mates to eat four in minute without water
(

chuff monkey I AM him, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
Cheddar is the ASDA Value Vanilia Ice Cream of the cheese world.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

Cheddar is a necessary cheese
Late night cheese on toast just wouldn't taste the same with one of your FANCY HIGH FALLUTIN CHEESES
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

Emintile is at least 100 times better than cheddar for anything you would put cheddar on.
Except maybe pizza.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

Doesn't melt the same
Fail.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

WoooooOOO-ONG.
Try it, you'll see what I'm talking about.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

Don't be fucking daft gonz.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

Thanks
Discussed
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

any merkins on here?
do you often write 'café' like this: 'cafe' on your side of the pond?
(Brad Dice, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

*is absolutely fucking riveted*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I may have to nick this comment for my sig

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

£8.50
I take paypal

Or your sister.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

They call it a 'Chubby Shack' in the US.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

*must know more*

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

Anyone who can't be arsed to do the accent will write it cafe.
What the fuck does it matter?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

its for publication
needs to be correct
(Brad Dice, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

Why would a merkin be here at 11am BST?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

Why sleep
when you're a fat christian inbred idiot who thinks "overseas" is Hawaii ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Hawaii is overseas

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

CURSE YOU AUNTY MOM !
YOU AND YOUR BIBLE SCHOOL LESSONS HAVE CRIPPLED MY EDUCATION !

*eats burger*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

Alaska is overcanada

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

*slow handclap*

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

you're overthehill.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Shut up young'un

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

shut up zimmerframe monthly subscriber.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

I'm going to beat you to death with your own shoes

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

Hello BradDice

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

hi
yeah, sorry, a bit rude of me that
(Brad Dice, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

I need a shit
Unfortunately due to excess of birds eye chillies in last nights stir fry my ring is already like a bit of hammered steak
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

I read that as
"I just shit in a red hot birds eye"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

Hello Brad Dice, how are you today?
I would say it depends on if the place is posh or not.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

Toast ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Where?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

In my digestive system at the moment.
But I could have been referring to "TO DAVE GORMAN AND ALL WHO SAIL IN HER !"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

Up your chuff.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

WHO ELSE BUT MoT!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

Stop bullying me.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

ONLINE?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

and offline.
I know that was you.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

It'll never hold up in court

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

If you could put bread in
then fire out toast 30 seconds later, I could get you £1,000 a week in the West End.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

The difficult bit is holding the mini grill with my flaps
I might have to invest in sellotape.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

Dude
you are so hot the bread will just toast on your fanny.

because, like, you're really hot. Like, your fanny is.

And not cause you have the clap or something like that
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

I've located a copy of "HELP MY PUSSY'S ON FIRE 11!"
Turns out it's not an instructional video and the case smells of shame.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

*comes from side of the monitor*
MOOOORTAL KOMBATTTTTTT!!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

I do an AWESOME impression of the Mortal Kombat announcer

(

SuperMatt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

I bet you have a wobbly teenaged voice like
"I reAALyy FAAAncYY y-y-y-yyooOOUooooooooOOoo"
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

To all the friends we've known and all the one's we're yet to know.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

Stroke.

(

Jobe, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

You heartless bastard
I had a massive one yesterday, now my face looks like that woman who got shot with a gun and survived and now goes on telly because she's slightly less weird looking than she was before.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

That bird from Bo Selecta?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

Quagmire's sister.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

ha ha

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Apparently that's all just spare skin
just in case, you know... she needed some more.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

it's probably going to be needed for skin grafts
after the peasants set fire to her barn
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

*real life lol*

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

She reminds me a bit of Captain Wow
but reflected in a spoon.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

only a bit mind
www.flickr.com/photos/brianftang/410057722/
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Yeah, two years and five stone ago.
Thanks, though.

Maybe if I lose all the weight I'll find an obnoxious little wimp under it all.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

You're welcome
At least you don't look like that creepy kid from the Secret Garden.
The one that hates 'The spores!'

like me.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

I don't look like that any more either.
I quite like the way I look now, which is a very good thing. I used to pay attention to people like you when I was younger, which is half of the reason why I comfort ate, but now all of the insults bounce off because I'm happy, for once.

Sorry. You'll have to find someone else to pick on. I'd say make it someone your own size, but I'm not sure if it's such a good idea, you hanging around a scout hut.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

All I read there was
FAT MENTAL
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

you are a terrible person seb
terrible
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I weep into my greasy pillow every night

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

First actual LOL in about 3 years

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

Is that you or the sister ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

you've lost 5 stone in 2 years?
that's quite a lot.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

Depression and stress will do that to you.
Cigarette time.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

That's nothing.
I lost 100 pounds on the horses
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

I've lost nearly 8 stone in 11 months

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

I lost 8 moths under a stone !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

Depends on how fat you are
If you're 15 stone overweight it's easy to lose 5 stone, it's when you're 3lbs overweight that it's difficult.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

One of the guys off Peep Show made me laugh with one of his Twitter updates:
WOAH - an actual face/off style transplant. I presume they only come in 'rough as fuck'
(

Jobe, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

As a result of this, I have added most of the cast of peep show
I fucking love alan johnson.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

I've had some, thanks,
There was peanut butter. SMOOTH.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

The thing with toast
is that it should be a very light golden colour, not brown.

People who like really brown toast are scum and stupid and worst than Hitler. Some of them interfere with children. It's a disgrace.

I like toast.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

I had a GF once who thought you cooked toast by burning it and then scrapping it to reveal the toast
She didn't realise her toaster had settings....
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Did you beat her to death ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Her thick skull would have dented my baseball bat.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

with a baguette

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

if you will drive the sunshine bus

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Dont knock it
they're usually game, and a happy meal at McDonalds is a much cheaper date than most girls.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

I could hold out for a happy meal?

(

Batsgirl, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Depends, you'd have to eat it naked
with your nethers being lapped by pugs
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

*bokes*
the Happy meal butter dog
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

I just came twice.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

She was actually outrageously pretty, hence she didn't have to work hard at school or her personality.
She made Paris Hilton look like a genius. Guuuh, god it brings back bad memories of when Chip and Pin came in she used to shout it out to the cashier in shops when asked. *face plams*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Are you Brian from Family Guy, and was your girlfriend Jillian?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

Jilian actually had a bit of charm with her stupidness :)
I've just got terrible taste in girls.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

I totally support Goatworrier's stance in this area

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

I've got Special Flakes at home
I should have had some.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

Is that what you get
when a mong has Eczema ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

I bought them for the name
but they're actually quite nice.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

They don't make you thin on their own.

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Oh, Wormyface.
It's a wonder I'm not single like your fly self.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

I like how you respond to a fatjoke online

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

In which film was it
where "toast" was used as the word to test the sound level?
(

turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Interracial otters 6

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Breakfast at Tiffany's?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

I'll think you find that in that it was
"I love it when a plan comes together"
(

turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Misson Impossible.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Ah yes
of course.
Thank you
(

turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

You got Marmite?

(

BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

*wedgies*
I have now
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

give it back
*hits with wet fish*
(

BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

ooh, yes please.
with plenty of butter, and a cup of tea.
(

Batsgirl, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Tea is the devils piss

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

I put sugar and milk in it too.

(

Batsgirl, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

Marmalade or death

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

bitter bitter Dundee marmalade
made from orangepeel and brine.
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

Brine?!
Salty marmalade yuk.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Any other kind is gay

(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

You calling my marmalade gay?

(

BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

staing a fact
GAYBOY
(

WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Right
*rolls up sleeves*
(

BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

FOR SALE
www.toast.com/
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

It's what I'd rather have than see a ghost,
as that's the thing I fear most.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

I just had some very lightly done toast with butter
I sliced it in two and made a sort of sandwich out of it, like a hot butter sandwich.

It was ace.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

I've fixed it again.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

I think b3ta is dying.
Someone switch the life support off please
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

OMG did it fall over again?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

You fixed it by not looking at the screen and stopped making the servers feel ill

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I pulled all your excess hair out of the air intakes.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Place it on your head and you are now 25% sexier
The hair in the intakes were pubic btw.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

I almost bought gladiator sandals.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I need some of them for my Mumrah outfit.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Are you a size 6?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

No, I'm a size 10,
what do you think of my outfit so far?
www.flickr.com/photos/itscoolsteve/2634375908/
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

Lies.
You can't borrow mine then.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

There's nothing wrong with that man that a good solid kicking wouldn't solve.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

haha

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

Don't tell them that isn't me
I was hoping someone would think that was me with hilarious results.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

I know it's not you, you bell end.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

Stalker

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

You fucking wish.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

~~hilarious~~ sexy ?
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

You are a god amongst men
c
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

What's that c meant to mean?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

cunt god

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

cod
failed strikethrough
(

turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

Fingers still drunk
C is next to the space bar.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

dr stuck together with sp
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

It went in my eyes not on my hands

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

You classy dame you.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

I'm currently working on my new invention, BUKKAKE GOGGLES
It'll be the new craze that sweeps the nation.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

i don't remember that m&ms advert

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

It's the one where yellow finally gets angry at red treating him like a cunt
And rapes him, and red is left crying in the corner with a splash of yellow over his sad little face.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

fat fingers

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

Shut up mumrah

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

It'svanmeasyxenoughbmistakeztobmake.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

WHADDA MISTAKE-A TO MAKE-A!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

So how come all these people got in from around 9am
and I've only just managed to get in :(
(

turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

You're not smacking F5 with enough panic and sweatiness

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

F5 ? Are you kidding
I have a macro set up to launch missiles on my F5
(

turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

Baroness hits F5 with every rotation of her wap-tassels

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

I wish this were true
I lack the titcoordination
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

*flailing tits going at odd speeds*
OW MY EYE!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

wap-tassels ?
As an old fogey, what does this mean ?
(

turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Nipple tassels

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

you didn't spend enough time on foreplay and your willy is too big

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

Is that what they keep telling you?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

No.
I'm usually in the shame-cupboard by myself, pounding at my cork like penis hoping that people can't hear me.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

Everyone can hear your crying deeply.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

The guttural wailings of a man wearing lynx products

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

you're not supposed to apply it to your nob

(

turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

I can see him now, ramming the New Lynx Bullet down his japseye

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

You do stink like a secondary school changing room
Cheap deodorant barely masking the stench of sweat and fear
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

thats a nice compliment from a bloke
I try not to look at yours.
So far, I've succeeded.
(

turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

You're trying to fuck a 3 year old btw.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

fuck all that
i'm going to paint my living room
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

good on you,
*is suitably impressed*
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Fuck Dave Gorman and all he represents
Let's talk about crisps.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

I'd fuck them.
Is that what you meant?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

Crisps are overrated.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

I liked them before they were famous.

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

maybe, but eating dip with your fingers just gets messy.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

Is 'eating dip' a euphamism for cunnilingus?

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

No.
No it's not.

'Eating dip' is when you snog someone with leprosy.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

this is true
as a conduit for dip, they are good. Nachos, yes.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

I fucking love crisps.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

me too!

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

not the builders breakfast surely

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

all those new walkers flavours are rubbish

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

better than the chocolate and chilli ones
they taste like something you might find around Gilgamesh's cock
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

They somehow managed to capture the taste of farts.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

Onion Bhaji works quite well
for scooping up curry 'n rice.
(

Three Dog Man, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Crinkly cheese and onion mini cheddars are nice.
And they live with the crisps, so they're crisps.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

Taytos
Are awesome, best thing the irish have done since they gave us their country.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

Ah the native Irish of South America
To be el suro, to be el suro
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

Taytos are AWESOME

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

I can't think of any constructive way to insult you
So... HAHAHA U SUCK WILLIES
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

I'm going to be nice to you in return to make you feel guilty.
Hello, hope you've got over your cold.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

Guilt cannot penetrate my thick blanket of hangover
I'm mostly well, still a bit bunged up tho.

How are you O holier than thou one?
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

Slightly hungover,
I've got a lot of work to do as well. :(
Glad it's friday though, I'm going to watch Star Trek tonight and then I've got to make a MumRah costume tomorrow.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

OH NO
Pub? Did you housemate come back last night?

Let me know how Star Trek is, I trust your judgement. I just think it won't be enjoyable cuz I'll keep expecting Sylar to use his powers and hoping for Simon Pegg to die.

MUM RAH! Get cape, wear cape, attach bandages.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

fuck crisps, let's have a lovely rambling chat all about me

(

mongychops, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

I like those new flavoured ryvita crisp things
Am I weird?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

Yes.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

I'm not really a huge fan of crisps
but I'll have meaty flavoured ones if I'm hungry for snacks but not in the mood for chocolate.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

There is clearly an answer to this
Chocolate flavoured crisps
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

I love crisps
there is nothing better than salty goodness on the tongue
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

<<<<prawn cocktail fan right here<<<<<

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

I'm lobbying walkers for lobster flavour crisps.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

I reckon [Pizza place] should do the same ad campaign.
I would vote for a desert pizza.

Base: Normal
Sauce: Chocolate / Toffee / carmel / whatever
Topping: Marchmillows, Maltizers, mini bars of chocolate, peanut butter... whatever

THINK ABOUT IT
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

Brioche base ftw.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

I want to vomit just thinking about it!
TOO SWEET!
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Have you indulged in the new Prawn Cocktail McCoys?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

The pack just says sizzling king prawn I think

but I can taste the cocktail in them
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Do we have to?

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

we all eat food

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

Look at 'im, thinkin' he's the big I Am, all like "I don't eat food, ya'll.".
He's tryin' to mug us off ! Cunt.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

you eat food and i eat food we all eat it

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

Crispies!
crispy crispy nyom nyoms
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

myomy crispies in a sammich with bacons and nyomy nyom

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

Get your crisps out
get your crisps out
get your crisps out for the fats
get your crisps out for the faaats
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

I fucking love Flammin' Hot Watsits.
But they're shit to put in a sandwich.

Crisps are best put in a sandwich, but different sandwiches need different crips.

I have a complicated thought process as to what the optimum crisp is for the right sandwich.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

you're just doing it wrong
if you squash them down hard enough those suckers ent going anywhere
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

I've had cashew nuts covered in the cheesey watsit dust.
They were amazing.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

fuck crisps

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

fuck you

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

Here's a Hula Hoop,
knock yourself out.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

the tiny sharp potato cuts would be made even worse if you fucked a bag of salt and vinegar

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

yeah
you tell him
(

mongychops, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

I've met him at LOLGEORGE and he had hair and was a nice bloke.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

Quentin Crisp?

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Burger rings from Australia.
Nuff said.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

I have a stong disliking for Dave Gorman
That is all
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

I quite like him.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

'ning maam
How are you on this fine and sunny TFI Friday?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

Shattered. You?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

Same really, got home late and watched QI into the early hours.
To answer your question from last night, worth waiting for the DVD but not worth a trip to the cinematorium.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Blue ray it is.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

Too much action and artsy fartsy scenes
IMO anyway
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

I like action AND artsy fartsy though.
I hope I enjoy it, I'll be upset if I don't.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

Don't get me wrong
It is a very good film but there's not enough Red Alert, science, "We need more power Mr Scott", "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a X" for my liking
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

Any wessels?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

Yes
And the other things were in the film, just not enough of them to make it cliché.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

\o/

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

I don't know, maybe I just expected too much from it
I still thoroughly enjoyed it though. And the cinema was almost empty, around 20 people for a screen that can seat over 200, yet someone insisted on sitting next to me :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

:D cinema friend!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

He didn't speak to me at all
Going on my RL friends when I go to visit them it makes him a prime candidate for friendship :P

Edit: I think it was just my choice of sitting in the prime acoustic and visual spot for that screen.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

you don't think spock was superb?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

He was

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

Well, I loved it!

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

you'd think after a four day week we'd be fine
But I'm also shattered. Roll on the weekend...
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

I'd have been alright if it weren't for it being spring, if you know what I mean.
I intend to roll all over the weekend. Doing owt nice?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

Taking poppy the bus up to northants to buy mats
And maybe pop into friends. Then sleep all Sunday.
Yourself?
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

Haircut *shakes* not looking forward to it
and loafing about being a lazy cow.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

I stood next to him in the toilets.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

Were you weeing or just being friendly?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

A urinal was in use
and no I didn't look.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

Tut.
Celebrity cock and you didn't even bother.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

I'm not much of a cock fan I'm afraid.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

That's not what I've....oh fuck it.
Never mind.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

Yeah!
don't even try, you know I'll just cuss you down.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

That so, motherfucker?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

hell yeah! ...
...motherfucker!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

aight.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

Did you look?

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

i suspect
had you looked, you would have just seen a tiny version of dave gorman instead of a cock.
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

The question is
Would that tiny gorman have another tiny gorman at the tip of his little david?
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

Recursive Gorman Cock.
Ah, the well known condition.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

It's gorman all the way down, i'm afraid.

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

Is it true what they say about him?
You know, wink wink, nudge nudge, (Puts two fingers vertical from eachother, then moves them appart to about 12 inches).
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

i don't like him a whole lot either.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

He's alright.

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

I find his TV persona most agreeable.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

I dislike all the middle class people, who go out and do something quirky.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

What should they do
to raise your view of them instead of doing something interesting ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

They should stop doing 'interesting' things, because I find the 'interesting' things they do unequivocally disinteresting

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

i think
shutting the fuck up would be a constructive start for mr dave
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

I have no real opinion of him.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

I quite like him

This is an exciting post, isn't it?
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

he turned up at my local Boarders for a booksigning of the Googlewhack one, and a talk...
He was telling a lot of "jokes" but no one at all was laughing...

It's strange when an audiences silence is funnier than the the standup...
(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

There's a zombie on your lawn, there's a zombie on your law-n.
You don't want zombies on your lawn, 'cus there's a zombie on your lawn.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

I like him.
I was supposed to support him at the G****e but it ended up the other way round.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

He works in a garage?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

Gaymoe?

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

hello new person

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

I like his sideburns.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

he's got good teeth

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

This, actually.
Not enough chaps have chops.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

Not enough chaps can pull them off without looking like farmers.

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

What's wrong with looking like a farmer?
Big and strong chap that knows his way around machinery, oh no.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

~~farmers~~ boys pretending to be grown-up men
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

*preens*

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

*hides in your sideys*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

I quite like him. I would.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

Me too.
He falls under the same acceptable ginger category as Adam from Mythbusters.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

I'm starting to develop a crush on Damian Lewis too.
Blummin' gingers.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

he's quite nice.
Mind you also fancied Mr Tumnus a bit so there's no accounting for taste here.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

I fancied Robin Hood when he was a cartoon fox.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

<3

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

Any reason for this dislike?
I quite like him.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

the start of googlewack adventure
the most horrific 10mins of self indulgent, uninteresting dick tripe i have seen since watching prime ministers question time.

he was fine when he was just words in a book, but as a human, he becomes a large fail.
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

I said HELLO NEW PERSON

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

geeesh
im not all that new, im just shy.
herrow
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

ROFL DID B3TA FALL OVER LOL?
I wasn't here last night to know. What did you fatties do in the downtime?
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

Hello
I just spent ages in a fruitless search for pictures of naked ladies on the internet to fill the echoing void.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

I fixed it.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

pushed a couple of dogs into bushes

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

You and your dogs lolololololol

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

there's nothing funny about it, they looked quite upset

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

I don't like dogs.
The more suffering the better in my books. Tell 'em they were adopted while you're at it.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

I hid under a pile of coats
sobbing uncontrollably
(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

*Looks around at imaculate room, test tube with the cure for bumaids, and a new version of Google that has made google quit the game quoting "Can't match them, might aswell give up now." *

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

i didn't know until this morning
obviously i immediately hyperventilated and soiled myself
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

I do that sometimes.
It's very comforting.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

Everything I would have done anyway
I didn't know it was broken.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

Pressed F5 until my finger was a bloody nub,
I definitely didn't cry.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

by 'didn't',
do you actually mean 'did'?

come on now, we're all friends here
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

Yes I did :'(
HOLD ME.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

I managed to switch my computer off and found something else to do!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

What the fuck is wrong with you?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

Now this I do NOT believe.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

ok then, I thrashed my fists into my keyboard and wept salty tears of bitter anguish then masturbated myself into a sweaty coma

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

One of us
One of us
One of us
One of us
One of us
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

Went and got a can of coke
I couldn't be more tired if I tried. Well, I probably could, but still.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

^this
I had to get up at half nine this morning. HALF NINE! It's the middle of the night :(
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

I've had fourish hours kip, BS.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

I stuck my finger in the woodpeckers hole

(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

well bless my soul

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

started sweating, got the shakes, and curled up in the foetal position

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

Mornin'

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

I just replied to a thread nearly 8 hours old.
and I was the first response.

Is that some sort of record?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

we replied at the same time
I think I should get some of the prize money
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

rubbish,
I'm the one who fixed it and shiz
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

So what do you want to be remembered for?
I mean, not just for what you've done now,
as in, what you want to have done by the time you eventually die?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

I want to be known as a "love rat" in the tabloids.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

you need to find someone with a fanny so huge you can build a home in there
then gnaw your way out through the womb when you run out of food
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

That doesn't sound like something John Leslie would do.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

pushed a thousand dogs into bushes as they walked past

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

Ooh look!
It's working again.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

did i break it?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I will have stopped the super mutants from terrorising london.

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

Hello fruits and fatties, JMG is on.
Now before you all drunkenly turn on me because you're miserable at something completely irrelevant. Take time out to champion me, your leader.

Keywords:
Me, JMG, leader, JMG knows girls, if I don't get something to eat soon I might just cry, World of Warcraft.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:55, archived)

*passes baton*
*goes to bed*
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

I'm going to use this to strike at the heart of fat misery, then maybe to fight said fat misery off of my night sandwich.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

You need a comma, not a full stop, between irrelevant and take

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

You need a full stop at the end, there.
Ye,ah?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

Oh heck
You've gone beyond parody into recursive shittery. Just so you know, to give yourself a little bit of a frisson, I'm going to bed now. You can type letters on the internet about how great your 'persona' is if you like. The rest of us will laugh at not with you. Good night , Baby X FULL STOP
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

JMG, I've got 500 words to write before I can go to bed and not feel guilty.
What word should I smuggled into my dissertation?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

mimsy

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

that one would be a bit difficult.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

if it was a dissertation for GCSE I would have suggested something easier

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

I got plenty of good words into my A levels.
Including flange and undercarriage.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

Aberdeen.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

Slubberdigullion.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

Mongoloid

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

Ring of fire.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:36, archived)

Cunt

(

OldWhit, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

i am neither a fattie or a fruit

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

i got the mania jmg.
i went for a run after being in the pub.
oh jmg.
it's all gone wrong for me.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

a fat fruit would be a melon
why not be more efficient and call us all melons?
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

If you were me, and you had a wall,
what big picture would you rasterbate, to put on your wall that's mine?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

I'm busy scrobbling my spotify

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

i done a poo

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:26, archived)

Clicking dis

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:27, archived)

I've not played with this spotify thing
do I need it in my life?
(

broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:33, archived)

It's OK
bit pointless when I've got about 100gig on my iTunes that I haven't listened to yet.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:37, archived)

Great for working out if something's worth DLing, though

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:39, archived)

i only use it to listen to bowie.
and i don't really know why.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:42, archived)

Yet more unexplained internet-hype bollocks.
I try to keep up :(
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:39, archived)

Dunno why I bother with last.fm
the recommendations are shit.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:41, archived)

Fucking kittens savaged my hand. Little pricks.
I'm going to glue them to radio controlled cars with spikes on and force them to joust.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

It's your own fault for having such trouty hands

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

punching them stoutly on the chin usually helps

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:46, archived)

baldmonkey, can we be an item?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

Yes.
In fact, we can be two items. I'll be a deck of cards and you be a cock. A dead animals cock. A shitty dead animals tiny rubbish unwanted cock.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU PERSIST IN BULLYING ME?
I'M FRAGILE YOU CUNT.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

You're my best friend.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

Now you're just tantalising me with a dream that can never be,

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

It's their way of asking to be turned into soup

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

It's the last time I use a safety towel while playing Throw Kitten At Brick.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

goto 10
once a savagee, always a savagee
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

haha,
kittens are awesome. I love it when they do that.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

I'm on the roids

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

Don't hate the player
Hate the game.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

they do a pack of 24 bog rolls for three quid down the road.
i can't tell the difference between them and the leading brand.
where does that leave me?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

With shit on your fingers
Probably.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

At that price, you can afford to double up.
You could even rub great wodges of it along your bumhole in absolute shit-finger safety. Sheer luxury.
(

Shegetz Chris Kamara's comedy moustache, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:27, archived)

Facebook news now,
and my friend Thomas is upset that "these 9 seasons of pokemon are taking for ever to download... GRRRR....."

So, are you a boxsetter? What do you like to watch large chunks of at once? And, did you ever "catch 'em all" ?
(

Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

I'll sit and watch hours of Scrapheap challenge on a Sunday morning.
In other news... RAF Lossiemouth must be practising night time low flying as twice now I've thought the jet was in the fucking house. It's very unusual they ever come this far.

I wonder if our airspace is being invaded?
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

Hello Toady, Sean here
We get buzzed by jets on our way to Lancaster in the morning in summer. Usually about 545 by Hellifield, it's very scary.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

The first one went on and on and on.
Speak of the devil here it comes again... I can hear it building up.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

Is it a helicopter?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

No, Jets.
You hear the rumble getting louder and louder then all of a sudden it's a roar going through the house.

I think the first one must have been more than one jet cos it went one forever. I went out of the house to see if I could see it.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:48, archived)

Possibly
Two Chinooks came over my house very low this morning. I live nowhere near an RAF base!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

I'm 50 miles away from the RAF base as the crow flies.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:46, archived)

I'm about 20ish miles
From Manston but I didn't think they had much going on down there other than freight.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:48, archived)

Whereabouts are you then?
Faversham? Can'bry? They havent had anything at Manston since they took the Sea Kings away
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:50, archived)

Faversham
You local then?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:52, archived)

Grew up in Fanit
Know that little nipple of Kent well, I do.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

Ahhh 'Planit Fanit'
Bits of it are really quite nice these days despite the bed reputation it sometimes gets, Broadstairs and Deal in particular. That said I had to go to Cliftonville a while ago, christ what a dump!

I plan on getting very drunk at folk week in B'stairs this year, as I do every year.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:06, archived)

I regularly pop up the thanet

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

for the brown bread icecream they serve above the Pewter Pot?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:17, archived)

Heh, I have eaten there
never tried the brown bread ice cream though :(
(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

They are such noisy cunts those things

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

Woke me up with a bit of a shock
They flew over about 6.30 am. Bastards!

I bet they secretly enjoy knowing they fly about waking people up at ungodly hours of the morning!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:51, archived)

must be getting ready
for another WAR
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 7 May 2009, 22:53, archived)

Arrested Development and Father Ted.
I fucking love Arrested Development.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

All three Star Wars films consecutively was always the classic.
Six now. Imagine that.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

I watched the first three alien films back-to-back at a cinema all-nighter when the third one came out.
They're quite long.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

They are,
especially the directors cuts.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

Bloody hell.
17 years since Alien³
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

I've still not seen the 4th one.
From what I've heard of it, I'm not that bothered.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

I saw The Empire Strikes Back at the cinema,
I don't know how much sense this makes because I would only have been 3 when it came out, so whether they were still showing it two years later I don't know, but it was definitely the one where it's revealed that Darth Vader is Luke's father, because I remember asking my Dad afterwards why he isn't called Luke Vader.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:49, archived)

I've seen it and read the book
I prefered the book
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:53, archived)

I'd like to read the book of 2001.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:53, archived)

I've got an 8-year-old diary you can flick through if you like

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:02, archived)

very good.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

i hope that was the version where it came out of a buffalo
and not a stupid little dog.
(

Captain Pilchard The king of B-movies!, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:08, archived)

I found every eppisode of King of Queens on a hard drive I had laying around today.
On the same hard drive, it has Will Smith's Discigorphy and Filmography.

It's probably the best hard drive in the world, in that respect.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

I don't know KOQ, but I do know Will Smith,
and so I congratulate you.
(

Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:41, archived)

King of Queens is awesome.
It's probably my favorite modern(ish) sitcom to come out of the states.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

Better than Everybody Loves Raymond?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

I fucking hate Raymond.
The worst one though is that old prick who wrote signfield, his show actually gives me gonzy-rage.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

but but
curb is one of the best comedies that has come from the states
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 7 May 2009, 23:06, archived)

I'm probably the only person I know, aside spangles up there, who hates it.
But it really is terrible, it's a cross between "Look at all these famous people I know, because I'm famous, look at me" and "I'm famous, knowing famous people, but we all get into hellerious misunderstands because we're, on the inside, little people, just like you."
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:09, archived)

Drama - The West Wing
Comedy - Black Books, Big Train, Partridge, Father Ted, Spaced, Brasseye, Jam, The Day Today etc...
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

I also have all these comedy ones ^ apart from Jam

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

BSG.
:)
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

Original, or new gritty flavour?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

New.
I'm on series 3 atm.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:46, archived)

ah,
I've got the entire original series on VHS, taped off the telly.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:50, archived)

I watched a couple of episodes of old BSG.
It was retro cool, a little bit camp if I remember rightly. I think all sci-fi of that era had a touch of campness though.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:56, archived)

It's good, old-fashioned silly fun,
all these new sci-fi shows take themselves far too seriously if you ask me, and aim quite squarely at the young adult demographic. The old one was a kid's show, really. Now stuff for kids seems to be all lolwacky, and stuff for adults is all doom and gloom.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

I watch House, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Weeds and Brothers and Sisters.
The only telly I watch on actual telly is The Apprentice.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

I've been watching my way through Alias
I'm not sure I like the third series, it seems a bit more dawsons creeky for some reason
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

I sat through all of twin peaks last christmas
anything else you may have seen regarding this post was just hallucination brought on by you being a cunt
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:50, archived)

I have vague recollections of Twin Peaks.
I was only allowed to stay up that late if I'd been very good.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:52, archived)

the first series is definetley worth
a download
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 7 May 2009, 22:55, archived)

Twin Peaks was ace.
The second series ended just as it was getting sooo good.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:59, archived)

They always cancel the good shows.
Firefly - worst decision ever.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

Are you my soulmate?
I loved Firefly, I still feel Serenity didn't really complete things.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:07, archived)

It didn't,
well it needed more than just the one film really, but at least it's something. Loads of stuff should have happened in between the two, with more about the nature and motives of those blue hand guys and stuff. Shame. Still. Management, tch.

You know why they cancelled it?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:08, archived)

Because they heard he was a fan?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:10, archived)

This is actually not so far from the truth.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:10, archived)

Because they heard he was a homo?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

God I hate you.
With every fibre of my being.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

I heard he was a homo fan
wafting all his gay towards the impressionable
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

He is a homo who bums men and the has the men bum him.
That is how homo he is.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

You're not one of those homophobicists, are you?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

No, he's just annoying.
Why am I defending him, aim hate at him, do it now!
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

He's just trying to wind you up because he knows it works,
take no notice.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

this is actually a case of genuine hatred.
rare i know, but i know what this guy is like.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

Feeling's mutual.
you big basket of crap
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

Well, I must have missed it,
but save it for when it's provoked in some way.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

of course you missed it.
i'm talking about the real non internet world here.
the man beats up tramps in cardiff for fucking fun.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

That's quite an accusation.
Have the police been informed?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

he's been arrested a couple of times.
seriously.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

I'm going to bed now.
I'll check what other abuse you've posted about me in the morning.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

Well there's one tramp in the whole of Cardiff he wouldn't beat up, at least.
I feel bad for doubting you now, it's just that from the picture in his profile, I'd be surprised he could take on a doped-up six-year-old.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

You have to question the sort of man who hangs around with pensioners don't you.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Well, that tramp who does karate at the end of cowbridge road
is pretty weird, but I wouldn't ever beat him up. he's pretty good at karate
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

How about other tramps?
I mean, if the only reason for not beating that particular one up is that you couldn't...
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

EXACTLY.
the man is not only a tramp beater, but a COWARD.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

They had it coming.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:42, archived)

Well I'm no believer in fate,
but you're basically pretty much admitting to having beaten up every homeless person in Cardiff but one. Just confirm that for me, will you?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

I'm going to post that picture if you're not careful...
you know which photo
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:16, archived)

Basically.
They'd booked a sci-fi show because they wanted something to put manly adverts in the middle of. And then women liked it.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

What's the actual reason, before SSG rudely interrupts again?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

^^^

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:16, archived)

Female Prisoner Scorpion Trilogy
she's amazing..
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 7 May 2009, 22:51, archived)

The only TV thing I've bought like that is Columbo.
Because Columbo is ace.
(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:57, archived)

His name sounds like Bumbo.

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:58, archived)

i caught all 150 on pokemon red
it's the crowning achievement of my life
(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:58, archived)

also yes i am a boxsetter

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:59, archived)

Firefly
Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel and Babylon 5 are my vices.

I am liking Dollhouse, but it's not a boxset. Yet.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

my housemate, with regards to STDs,
has caught 'em all.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:03, archived)

Fuck you,
you're a walking STD.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

don't fuck him if he's a walking STD
that's the last thing you want to do
(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:07, archived)

That's where I went wrong.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:08, archived)

You went wrong by raping those disabled pensioners
and blaming the free press for your subsequent downfall.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

you put the disease
into the "so dis ease what it's like being raped by a micro-cocked homo"
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:08, archived)

I'm in a casino lol
Also, House, Ashes to Ashes, Stargate:Atlantis, Star Trek.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:08, archived)

Only ever bought one collection of a TV series
Wasn't quite so much a box set as a complete set of DVDs. The Sopranos.
(

Lord Gnome, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:16, archived)

X Files
Drop the Dead Donkey
South Park
erm
Final Destination
err
Naked Gun
erm
probably more but I'm not at home & can't remember
(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

Drop the Dead Donkey's a good call
Used to love that programme.
(

Lord Gnome, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

It was good, also whoever it was that played Joy was lovely in a surly kinda way
*edit* god bless the internet nsfw
(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

The Wire
Homicide - Life On The Street
Spiral
Generation Kill
Our Friends In The North
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

I've seen none of these

(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

Neither have I
but it looked like a list thread and I lost control.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Sweet
Favourite colours for pants?

Blue
Grey
Black
(

broadsword, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

Fawn
Chocolate
Brown

in no particular order.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

Ah ok then
Ok then, good friends birthday on sat, wants go party in the centre of london. Im skint. whats the best night the fine minds of b3ta can think of that will cost less than 30 stirling?
(McDazzle Knows not what he does, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:06, archived)

Fuck knows,
I'm one of those few people on the internet who don't live in London.

Imagine that...
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:07, archived)

I don't live in London either

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:08, archived)

Holy shit.
We should start our own minority.

I wonder how long it will be till someone oppresses us brother?
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:08, archived)

No do I
but I used to.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:09, archived)

I don't live in London, but I've got a Monopoly board, does that count?

(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:10, archived)

LOOK NOOBS!
If you want to join me and Milknosugars brotherhood. You'll have to pass the initiation first.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:11, archived)

I have boobs
Am I in?
(

jenpots, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

Always.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

Umm...
You'll have to go through the more... private initiation... In my inner sanctum... ahem.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

dirty old perv

(

jenpots, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

*gives you a big glass of Kool-aid*

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

*gives you Aids, the bad kind*

(

jenpots, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:17, archived)

*Dies, becomes a Martyr, becomes the basis for Maffersology*

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

I've got a shirt I bought in London.
I don't like it.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 7 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

LONDON HATER.

(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

Where it is?
I don' know.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

I live on the most expensive Orange one
in Warsaw Monopoly
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

You two should, it would make it at least 15% better.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:41, archived)

NO WAI
"Hey, I'm going out, who wants to come?"
(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:08, archived)

Have a LOLWANK.
/ac
(

Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:07, archived)

large bottle of vodka and a DVD of something really cheesy.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:09, archived)

Like the vodka part
but i dont think you have quite grasped the rest
(McDazzle Knows not what he does, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:10, archived)

in someone's house
in the centre of London.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:11, archived)

find an accessible roof,
and someone with a projector, and project the film onto the side of the nearest skyscraper.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

That wood be good,
but im a traditionalist and only use Betamax
(McDazzle Knows not what he does, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

Goggles from B&Q with toilet paper tubes taped to them for tunnel vision
tying your knees together with string, and then having a BB gun shoot-out in a convenient abandonned factory or warehouse.
It's Doom... But Not On the PC*

*idea courtesy of Amiga Power, circa 1994
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:09, archived)

Doom can't look up.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:10, archived)

because they didn't have wikipedia back then :(

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:11, archived)

they had Encarta

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

Bodyworks came with my copy of Encarta.
My favourite thing to do was getting the narrator to say "bulbospongiosus" over and over again. What a great word!
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:17, archived)

I think that might even beat "flibbertigibbet".

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:18, archived)

It doesn't...
:(

www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=bulbospongiosus&word2=flibbertigibbet
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=hullabaloo&word2=flibbertigibbet
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

Nuts....
www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Moon+Girl+Technologies&word2=The+Doveston
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

Now let's not make this personal.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

I had Bodyworks on my first computer
:)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

I had a "How the Body Works" pop-up book,
when I was 7.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

Windows 95, Encarta, Bodyworks
and DOOM!
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

AmigaDOS 1.2, Deluxe Paint 1,
Goldrunner, and Wizball.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

You win again...
I can only go as retro as NES, and maybe Commodore 64 at a push.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:28, archived)

Oh,
before that I (or more accurately, my Dad) had an Enterprise 128, basically an obscure sort of Sinclair Spectrum on steroids that never made it big. And before that, a Mattel Intellivision, that came with Astrosmash and Soccer.

My first thought was that the NES must be more retro than the Amiga, but it came out in the same year...
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

I bought a pong machine in a charity shop the other day.
A Binatone TV Master Mark IV. Only three fuckin' pound. WIN!

It has four, count 'em, FOUR games. Classic Pong, Squash, Single Player Squash and Football. AMAZING!
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

We've got one of those,
no telly to play it on, mind. £3 seems a bit steep. We got an Amiga A600 for a fiver.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

I had one of those as a kid.
With the optional light gun. Which I lost pretending to be a storm trooper in the woods.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

I've got an Amiga light gun,
which is exactly the same as the Sega Master System light gun, except beige.
They won't work on LCD screens. Such a tragic loss.
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

Windows 3.11
Encarta and Wolfenstien 3d!

That was my first windows pc anyway, had an old dos prompt olivetti before that!
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Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:28, archived)

Wolfenstein 3D was awesome.
Did you have a dot matrix printer? I fuckin' love the sound they make when printing.
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

Yep, dot matrix all the way
It was an Epson I believe.
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Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

Yes!
This is the sort of genius i was hoping for. I can get people to tape egg cups to their knees and shoulders to make them look pixelated as well
(McDazzle Knows not what he does, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

Oh, you're supposed to have a paper target on your chest
and a pencil for when you run out of bullets.

A pair of scissors counts as a speed-up, for cutting the knee-strings.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

This is the winner
add vodka into the mix and its a date
(McDazzle Knows not what he does, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

I don't know
but I've watched 2 films with Russell Brand in this week and I think he's fairly good at Hollywood.
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Mrs Sp@m, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:09, archived)

GET OUT!

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:09, archived)

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Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:15, archived)

I dont care.
I'm off to a casino. Bye.
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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

Remember, When they hand you the chips, stick them down your top.
Take them out before you get back to the hotel room though. Nothing spoils the illusion for them more than half a dozen £5 chips falling to the floor as they pour out the Asti.
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Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

£5 each for claw hammers from B&Q
Then take your chances.
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Lord Gnome, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

I'm sure the qualty of B&Qs hammers is okay, so no chances needed.

Oh.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

McDazzle sounds like a gay burger product.
Just saying....
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:28, archived)

you sound like a shit linux add on.
whats your point?
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Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

exactly!

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

snappy comeback..

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Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

yeah, I dont care
I'm sure that shows though.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

There is a bunch of people meeting up tomorow night, that I'm sure you'll be welcome too join.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

I'm NOT going out oh no I'm not oh no
I'm gonna drink cider, eat popcorn and watch a movie online

I already fell asleep for a bit on my mate's floor anyway

now what film shall i watch?
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SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

What choices do you have?

also: www.b3ta.com/questions/bugs_and_feature_requests/post417104
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Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:02, archived)

I have no idea

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jenpots, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

Jacqueline Hyde.
It's terrible.
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Druid, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

I'm watching the ER double bill
it's knicker-gripping stuff.
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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:06, archived)

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