Evening Dave!
I've been very busy.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)

Ham-fisted political fucking satire thread time!
What did you have for lunch and how stupid IS Gordon Brown? LOL!
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

I had a Subway sandwich! ROFL!
Totally stupid lol omg AMIRITE?!
( moohalaa, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

yes

( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

HAHAHA!

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

Gordon DOWNS SYNDROME more like

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

Steady on now.

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)

I had a ham and mustard sandwich with homemade bread.
My sandwich was better than Gordon Brown.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)

You've not had a highly exclusive Oxford education, so you are UNINFORMED and a COMMUNIST.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:12, archived)

well shit.

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)

Is it me....
Or do you need to be a one eyed twat that everyone in the country dislikes to be leader of a political party these days?
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

It's you.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)

Thank god for that.
Vote Tory. Boris for President.
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)

I've just been shovelling dog shit off the lawn.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)

that's stealing

( Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)

Or
Finders keepers?
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)

do you have dogs?
I don't recall you ever mentioning any
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

Could be a fetish
Someone elses lawn
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)

took more effort and intelligence than starting this thread

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

I wish they'd learn to do it in one spot.
Shredder does it all over the fecking place.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

We have this affliction too.
It makes me want to find the owners house, have 10 pints and a curry then go off like a muck spreader all over their front door.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

You

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

It's you.
Evening all.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)

I'd deffo give that Natasha Kaplinsky a good old fashioned thump up the knickers

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

Have you ever considered a career as a professional satirist?
This stuff is comedy gold!
( FoldsFive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

Book o' Revelations says the anti-christ will only have one good eye.
I think Brown etc are just checking to see if it's them wots The Chosen One.
( Three Dog Man, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

My dog is far more entertaining than you.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

I'd deffo give that Esme Weatherwax a good old fashioned thump up the knickers

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

Oh hai.
Do the voice.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)

I'm 'avin 'oops

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)

*swoons*

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)

If you ask thick people to pat their head and rub their stomach
they forget to breathe.

It's the acceptable face of eugenics.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)

I like phoning up thick people when I know they're doing the ironing.

( FoldsFive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)

or ask someone what the time is
when they've just picked up a drink with the same arm their watch is on.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)

But if they forget to breathe to the extent that they pass out
Then assuming they don't have a major injury falling, then they'll breathe anyway
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)

make them do it at the top of a cliff

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)

:)

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)

I like to spit in stupid peoples faces.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)

Your mirror must be in a terrible state.
Ho ho!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)

I just spit vertically and gravity does the rest
I don't believe in gravity though.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:44, archived)

I really wish there was a Survival Party
who revoked all this safety nonsense about May Contain Nuts and Crumple Zones and hand rails on stairs and stuff.

That'd weed out the thickos.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:41, archived)

I reckon the roads would be so much safer on average
if cars didn't have so many safety features. They'd be a good few kilos lighter, for one thing, and they'd get better mpg into the bargain.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)

exactly
and if people still had to have Exercise Handles rather than electric windows (which add 60kg, or another adult female, to the weight of the car) there's savings there too.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:44, archived)

60kg just for electric windows?
Crikey.
If I ever buy a car, I'm stripping everything out that isn't required to make it go.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:45, archived)

Someone on a car forum I frequent
took out close to half a ton of shit to make his touring car. 1400kg reduced to 900.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)

Did he leave in the air conditioning?
Or did he just open the windows?
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)

I've yet to own a car with AC
it sucks 15% of the engine power, massively increases the fuel usage, adds weight, complicated plumbing, and for what? So that your hair doesn't get ruffled when you drive too fast? Grow up, you pampered piss-weak pussy excuses for people.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)

Except when you're driving at high speed, it's more fuel efficient
to use air conditioning than creating extra drag by opening the windows.
( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

You have to get to illegal speeds to make that happen

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)

I heard that it was about 40mph.
Which is illegal if you're driving in a 30mph limit.
( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)

Grrrmachine is stuck in the 20th century.
He only knows about cars that backfire.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)

Given that the 2006 Subaru Forrester was prone to overfueling
pre-ignition and detonating its own throttle body clean off the manifold, that seems a bit harsh.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

In Soviet Russia, YOU backfire.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

In a massively slippery sports car or similar where drag is a big issue, maybe
in your common or garden Octavia, you'd have to be talking about motorway speeds, and if was anything boxy like a van, it wouldn't make a difference at all.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)

So not illegal speeds at all, then.

( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

next time you're on a motorway
I DARE you to stick to 69mph.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

What's wrong with 70?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

It would depend on a lot of things, I'd imagine.
If it was one of these stupid SUV things that are shaped like bricks, it would probably make very little difference.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)

My experience differs. It certainly doesn't drain fuel "massively".
15% engine power is nonsense too. I suggest you try using facts next time.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)

A car at cruising speed requires approximately 25-30hp to maintain speed
a modern aircon unit will drain minimum 5hp to maintain charge and 7-8hp on a hot day to maintain chill. Even conservatively, 16% more power is required to run the aircon than would be if it wasn't on.
Or you could stick to your anecdotal evidence and ignore years and years of independant data on the subject.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

To maintain charge? You're talking nonsense there.
It's a sealed system, you do not need to maintain charge.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

I'm not quite sure what this means either.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)

A refrigeration system is "charged" with a certain amount of refrigerant.
You might need to top it up every 2 years due to unavoidable leaking, but other than that, it doesn't take any power to maintain that charge.

Also, Grrrmachine is very confused. He claims it uses "15% of the engine power" - regardless of the engine power? What a silly nonsense commy bastard he is! Bigger engine? Your aircon will sap 15%!!!111!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

it saps 15% at cruising speeds,
I think is what he's saying there. That means 25-30hp to go at about 70mph. Which is about right. That mostly only depends on vehicle aerodynamics, not the weight of the vehicle or the peak output of the engine.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

He likes to change his position when he realises his terrible errors!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)

that might have been what he meant to begin with,
even if he wasn't clear about it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)

None of this is relevant.
The goal here is an angry Grrrmachine, not a resolution of any technical argument.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)

oh right

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)

that's a rather pointless goal
I'm angry enough that you're all breathing as it is.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)

*breathes twice as much, just to spite you*
ooh, dizzy.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)

I didn't realise I had changed my position in the slightest.
15% will always be relative to the size of the engine; Im fairly sure a Bugatti Veyron would hardly notice the effect of aircon on its fuel economy, what with it being a massively pointless thirsty beast anyway.

Still, if you'd like to be ridiculously argumentative rather than rational, carry on by all means.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)

"I've yet to own a car with AC - it sucks 15% of the engine power, massively increases the fuel usage"

You are the one making outrageous exaggerated claims. Go back to your backward cars in your backward country.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)

Neither of those are outrageous or exaggerated
The average horsepower of a European car still remains less than 100hp. In that situation, with the other figures I've quoted, 15% is a fair figure.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)

You're making it all up.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)

oh right
in that case, close your eyes, breathe deep, count to 7, then punch yourself in the face.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

You've failed to quote any sources. You might as well be making it all up.
But posting sources NOW means you fail even more, for being an idiot.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:31, archived)

I wonder if you could do it with heatpipes instead.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

That'd only work in flowing traffic
not the immense traffic jams you get in Sinai Peninsula (a BIG target market for cars with Air-con)
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:30, archived)

No, not to any effective degree.
They'll carry excessive heat away, but they won't chill anything.

Some manufacturers use peltier coolers. Grossly inefficient though.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:30, archived)

ack
no, never use peltier coolers for A/C.

Might not be much use in the Southern US and the like, but for your average UK summer ambient temperature is bearable enough. The problem is all the windows a car has makes it into a mini greenhouse.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)

Bearable by who's standards?
I will decide what temperature I want the inside of my car at, thank you. Especially when it's been sat in the sun, and the inside temperature is in excess of 40C, with a black dashboard blasting it at my face.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)

I'm not telling you what to do,
I'm only proposing a compromise solution that will cool better than no cooling, but without draining engine power or significantly increasing the weight of the vehicle.
It would also work while your car was sat with the engine off.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)

Oh that was the other thing - 60KG for electric windows? I think not.
Maybe in some shitheap old commy car, just maybe.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

it does seem a bit much,
that's what I weigh! Still unnecessary, though. I'm perfectly capable of using a handle.

How about your car's windows make from infra-red transmitting glass? It wouldn't trap the heat so much, then. And use a heat-conductive roof lining.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:42, archived)

I'd rather press a button once when driving, than have to wind a handle. It's the same as using a mobile.
Also, your latest suggestion would make the car an icebox in winter.

The solution is, air con. As proven by the millions of cars with it installed.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:44, archived)

it's a crap solution because it drains engine power and increases your mpg,
especially in this day and age when mpg is more important than ever. The popularity of the idea isn't proof of how good it is. It's a luxury feature, and luxuries sell, because people like luxuries.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

Heatpipes don't chill.
You could only hope to get to ambient, and even then, very slowly. They'd be even less effective with the car stationary.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:40, archived)

yes, that's the idea,
ambient temperature is better than greenhouse temperature.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:42, archived)

Not if you want it less than ambient.
If it's 30C, I want it down to 20C, like most normal human beings living in temperate climates. I would argue that people in HOTTER climates could do without it, as they'd be used to the heat.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)

Food time!
#EOF
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)

The gases are sealed in, but they're certainly not compressed to operating temp
especially now we've banned all those delicious CFCs. You still have to compress the system up to a certain charge before it will have any noticeable effect, hence "to charge."

Anything else you want to argue with?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)

Yes, pick a topic.
I'm a world leading expert.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:19, archived)

this
although I can forgive anyone who lives in the likes of Texas.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

Yeah, how dare people be comfortable, just because they can.
It's always the same. Either, people who don't drive, or old fuddy-duddys, whinging about modern things.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

comfort is for gays

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

Brilliant.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

Also, my neighbour refused to believe I could get
my BMW estate, two bikes and a full fitted kitchen into my garage, when he can only just get a Skoda Fabia into his. Ho ho.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)

my dad's garage would fit three cars,
if it wasn't full of old settees, kitchen cupboards, rolls of carpet and pianos.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:44, archived)

Bear in mind this is a Communist (e)state
there's 600 apartments here, and only 20 garages. And these were built when the best car you could own was a Maluch
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:45, archived)

We need stupid people.

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:42, archived)

Maybe we won't, when robots supply all labour.

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:44, archived)

Fatten them up a bit, and you'll get some very tasty meat.
Especially with all this dole around.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:44, archived)

if I am giving a presentation, I have to breathe manually
I suspect that's just my interfatty social ineptitude and fear of public speaking though. I've actually had to stop and sit down for a couple of minutes before

Has anyone here had trouble getting b3ta over a vodafone data connection?
( spacefish bong!, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:47, archived)

Have you done the "confirm you are over 18" bullshit?
You can access it either on the phone "homepage" or by logging on to the vodafone website.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:52, archived)

I'll give it a pop
Ta!
( spacefish bong!, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

if you pick Sammi up by the tail her eyes fall out

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)

could you spin her to get the eyes to go further?
I'm seeing olympic sport candidate potential. They'll want some new ones for 2012.
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)

So the WHO have declared Pandemic (phase 6)
www.who.int/en/

About fucking time, too. Out of curiosity, is anybody working in a place where they've got instant access to this stuff? One of my friends who works for GSK was telling me about Relenza.

Alternative question: Is your next holiday going to be British or abroad, given the signs that the £ is slowly getting stronger?
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

Well from playing Pandemic, I know it's fucking hard to eliminate everyone.
Australia usually survives. I suggest heading there.

Edit: the majority of cases have occurred in people under the age of 25 years.


Arses. I'm not leaving the house now. I've got lots of books. I can survive it.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

President Madagascar! A man in Brazil has sneezed!
shut
down
EVERYTHING
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

Arses. I was halfway through typing that before I saw that :(

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

They also survive well.
Those off the coast of africa no-legal-sex until 21 bastards.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

Australia? That's easy to infect!
Madagascar is the arse, unless you cheat and refresh the game until you start there.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

It's the arse, but not impossible
Start with rodents so it hits the sea ports. It only seems to get ships from NZ though.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)

I once killed everyone, including Madagascar except australia and iceland.
Bastards closed off their ports early, and I'd gotten carried by rats and one of the air or waterbourne, can't remember which.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

What the shit is this game, David?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

Pandemic
www.crazymonkeygames.com/jkf6Tr/pandemic2.swf (though that's Pandemic 2)
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

ERM, IS YOUR NAME DAVID?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

No, it isn't
But if you ask something on a forum, then more than one person might reply. Shocking really.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:17, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post448420
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:24, archived)

it's hardly even killed anyone,
and nearly all the ones it has were in Mexico.
I'm not worried. It's just the 'flu.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

i'm heading to Greenland

( well, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

No.
Abroad, once I've paid this overdraft off.
( moohalaa, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

The strength or weakness of the pound has exactly zero effect on my holidays.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

Is that because you also want to know the local inflation rate before you are able to draw any conclusions
about the purchasig power of your holiday spends in different locations?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

Among numerous other things.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

yay for pandemics

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

Aren't you of the ilk that believes this virus was man-made?
I remember Alex Jones saying 'OMGOMHOMG', then 'nothing to worry about' and suddenly it's phase 6.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

you're correct, i believe it was man made

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

And mercury in injections causing autism, am I right?
(Are you a truther?)
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

yes

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)

I can never tell if you're serious or not anymore.
Hopefully you're joking.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

i am quite serious

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

Haha.
And presumably all historical pandemics have been man made too? I didn't realise we'd had that technology for so long.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:14, archived)

i don't know

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

I remember having a look at the Icke forum back when he was the compo.
It was very amusing. Apparently it was clearly man-made and meant to destroy humanity/certain races or whatever, and when it became obvious it wasn't very deadly, this was apparently evidence that 'the man' had failed to make it powerful enough.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)

i don't agree with that

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)

When the result of deaths were Mexicans and that Mexican kid
It arose that it MUST be aimed at Mexicans!
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:20, archived)

Their master said
'It's like they've mixed three different types of flu'
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

Bubonic Plague was summoned into existence
by the invocation of demons.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)

it was me
sorry
( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:23, archived)

YOU BASTARD

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:24, archived)

Well at least you've apologised.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)

My other half is one, heh

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

:(
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

I work for the NHS
So I'm safe. We're well corrupt, lol!! I got a stem cell sandwich for lunch from the canteen and I gave the old dear a fiver, then told her I gave her a tenner so made a profit and extended my life. Crazy shit, yo.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

I just had a (very expensive) holiday abroad.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)

Does this mean you are well off, or very poor?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

Well it should have been £8,000 but my friend is a travel agent so I got it for £6,000

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

I took the private jet though.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

Have you got your sunglasses?

( WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

Pete Townshend think's he knows everything.
abroad, going to spain.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

As a vital front line health worker*, I should be near the front of the queue for vaccines and such.
*background worker mostly avoiding patients
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

'By Christmas' is when it's due, apparently
The second wave will probably have killed us all by then.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

It seems to be about as serious as regular flu.
People do die from it, but generally old people or people with poor immune systems.
I'm not worrying.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

Well, people are in intensive care with no underlying problems
I'm not too worried, I'll worry more when Madagascar gets it. (Joke)

But I do know one or two people with it who feel like they've got 'the cold of all colds'.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

Yep, that's what flu feels like.
People can end up in intensive care from a simple cold, these things happen.
Looking at the statistics, it's not worth worrying about. Yet, anyway.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

I agree
But this is going to cause some agitation. I saw a bloke in King's Cross station wearing a mask about 2 weeks ago.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)

Maybe. Depends how the media plays it.
From what I've seen today, they've been very eager to point out 'pandemic' doesn't mean doom.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:21, archived)

Mercifully so
There was almost a media blackout once a fair few people had it though.

But yes, like many people say, we're much more prepared this time, so hopefully the casualties will be the bare minimum.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)

bollocks.
Even Spanish Flu didn't wipe us all out, and we didn't have antivirals back then, or much knowledge of viruses at all, or well-equipped state-funded hospitals and medical research facilities.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

Have you heard of exaggeration?!
Of course it's not going to wipe us all out. We have antibiotics which will probably cure most of the pneumonia that arises as a second result.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)

I've heard of you coming out with incredibly stupid things.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)

Likewise.
But your well-equipped state-funded hospitals haven't done much of a job with MRSA, have they?

Sure, they'll probably be more alert with a pandemic, but still, they're not magicians.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:21, archived)

Yes, they've done a fantastic job.
MRSA lives very happily on healthy people's skin, it's easily spread and resistant to various treatments.
It's very difficult to stop it getting around.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:23, archived)

Aye
right after all the undercover news reports about people slacking off.

Either way, we have to put our trust in these people; but NHS Direct are telling people with flu-like symptoms to go to a+e.*

*Three people I know have been sent to A+E
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:28, archived)

a friend of ours was actually isolated after displaying 'flu-like symptoms,
but it turned out he didn't have it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:29, archived)

hand hygene and proper cleaning help to stop it spreading
but between 3 and 7% of people have it and dont know
they then go out into the community and spread it about
It's not just a hospital problem
(MRSA that is)
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:31, archived)

Actually, much of the news coverage was based on a single bloke running a lab out of his back garden.
All the positive tests for MRSA from things like doorhandles, windowsills etc came from his lab, and couldn't be replicated in real labs.
This isn't to say it's not a real issue, which does kill people and is dealt with seriously, but much of the media circus was based on a single phoney.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:31, archived)

Ah, that's interesting, I din't know that
I was saying a similar argument with the report 11 years ago with autism being caused by mercury, and how (as far as I know, more might have been released) nobody could replicate this, and how the only girl who got compo was the girl with the mitochondrial disorder.

Got to love the media.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:35, archived)

This probably explains it better than I did.
www.badscience.net/2005/11/how-many-microbiologists-does-it-take-to-change-a-tabloid-story/
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)

MRSA isn't an international emergency that threatens all human life.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:23, archived)

*sigh*
I did just imply that by saying "they'll probably be more alert with a pandemic"
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)

"more alert" hardly covers it.
MRSA isn't in the same league.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:28, archived)

You're assuming that the pneumonia will be bacterial...

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)

Yes, I am, not the best idea
But bacterial infections are common with colds and flu, not just pneumonia.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:24, archived)

British,
in about a week.
I don't have a passport anyway.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)

Oooh, where are you going?

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

the highlands,
with a tent.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:17, archived)

I'd like to go camping like that at one point.

( Rev. Cleo still alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:20, archived)

Sounds lovely!
God knows what I'm doing this year, but most likely it'll be in the UK
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)

I suggest having a nice walk along the canals.
It's quite a nice thing to do.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

Yep, I agree
I was walking along the canal in London from Islington (or around there) to Camden lock after going clubbing one morning. It was lovely; so green and bright.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:37, archived)

going to the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeach
*excites*
started tanning yesterday to prepare, otherwise I'll die of sun poisoning
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:29, archived)

Yes I knew about this last thursday
edit: the phase 6 thing, don't care about the £ thing at the moment.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:30, archived)

The meeting was today about discussing it
They never said it was or wasn't going to be.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

Yes but it was a forgone conclusion based on the forecasted infection rates
and their definitions of the phases.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:37, archived)

Ah yes

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)

SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU
SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)

roflu

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)

SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU
p\8974231zSWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLUp\8974231zSWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU SWINE FLU
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:41, archived)

OMG OMG OMG
I am blogging from Málaga, where I am on a 48-hour visit to support the brilliant local Conservatives Abroad, chaired by John Leith of Mijas. We want to encourage Brits to register in advance of June's European election. Spain, bizarrely, conducts its election to the European Parliament as one large constituency. This means that 300,000 votes guarantee a candidate's election. There are, as I say, perhaps 800,000 British voters here, all entitled to vote as EU citizens. But the giant continues to slumber.

Daily Mail Crusade?

I like the new Spanish inheritance taxes.
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

Eh?

( WHARRGARBL, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

It looked like spam at first.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

I taught Spanish today.
I can't speak Spanish. But I can speak more Spanish than the year 7s can.

It was also my last day as a teacher.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

Did they make you a card with tissue paper stuck on it with PVA?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

I didn't know Art Attack was still on the air.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

It's traditional

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

Did you get to bring in games?

( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

I don't know what's going on, but I saw malaga and assumed it was a sikrik post

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

I know you're going to die
but I wish you'd hurry up about it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

This place can be stunningly helpful sometimes.
I had to go to a Catholic school today to look at some work they want doing and I was able to explain to my colleague why the church car park (next door) was full and there was a mass going on in the school hall.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

Did you both point and laugh
and then loudly proclaim you believe in the Invisible Pink Unicorn?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

No.
I prefer eterneity in heaven to eternity in hell.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

You were irritating the other day and I can't remember why now.

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

't
( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

are you high?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

I hope so.
*pushes*
( thealternativefact, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

i appear to be in a puddle

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)

what

( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

This is some crazy shit, yo
This is some crazy shit, yo
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

JMG Fashion.
I'm out tonight. I'm wearing a red and white shirt which is incredibly rare for me.
What are your views?

Please don't make this about dinner.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

:S
I'm not that much of a fan of red and white when it comes to clothing, not together. Especially not on the same piece of clothing.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

it works well on the welsh rugby shirt.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

Bully for the Welsh, we're talking about JMG.
Welsh rugby player he isn't.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

A recent *irl who was nowhere near the internet at the time said I have very rugby-like shoulders.
She isn't wrong. I have incredible shoulders. Well done JMG.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

Big shoulders are good
big sofas are better.

Have you got a big sofa?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Indeed.
I'm a double winner.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

I'm quite impressed, JMG.
Consider my heart a-flutter.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

i thought we were talking about red and white clothes that you did or did not like.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Do you think I should like them?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

i don't know where we are going with this.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

Answer the question.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

well as long as you hadn't overlooked the welsh rugby shirt,
you're fine.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

Not even stripey pirate shirts?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Not even. Not all that much, anyway.
There's just better colours.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

JMG, it's horribly late here
Should I stay up later?
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

Yes.
Why ever not? Enjoy yourself.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

which bit is red?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

The antlers?
That's what I was assuming. That or the rear turret.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

do shirts have souls?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

Only the ones with shoes attached.
So yes, 87%.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

are they oversized shoes?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

You're an oversized shoe.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

one day i want to live in a shoe inside a paradox

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

One day I want to join Starfleet.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

will there be badges?
i like stickers also, lots of stickers
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

There will be UNITARDS

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

that sounds like Eunuch
like in baron munchausen
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

Should I inject you with faeces now?
You can't spell faeces without my name.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

ermm, just a biscuit, thanks

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

That won't hurt you very much.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

I dunno..it sounds..kinda weird.
Monopoly?
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

Bit hard to get through the needle.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

Look, leave the Monopoly alone.
If you must stab something, please use the gazebo.
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

Ohhh, a GAZEBO, is it?
You posh cunt.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

By gazebo, I mean wall.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

WALL, is it?
Don't know you're born.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

We used to dreaaaaaam of living in a sewer.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

I saw a sewer in a film once.
It looked marvellous.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

Spiderman?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

I can see why you'd think that, but no.
It's just a similar outfit.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

I wonder if it's raining in Kenya?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

It's always raining in Kenya.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

not on wednesdays

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

It's Thursday, Mastermind.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

it's always thursday, somewhere

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:14, archived)

Especially, for some reason
on Thursdays.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:14, archived)

well, that depends what quadrant you're in

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

Gamma for me.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

beta or Delta?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

Red and white?
That sort of reminds me of a lobster. I like lobsters I might buy one for dinner.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

Oh shit, dinner.
I forgot I have to eat to live, what do I get?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

Quiche.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

I'll give quiche a chance.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

Excellent news.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

JMG - SECRET SUNDERLAND SUPPORTER?

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

i've lost all faith :(

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

MY SWEET RED FAITH!
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Nah, he's just bandwaggoning on their glory from staying up.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

will you be eating out?

( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

No.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

If it's striped, be careful.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

Of course not.
That's a bridge too far.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

So it's red and white, like
some sort of table cloth?

*shakes head*
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

Have you kidnapped him?
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

YES!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

he edited his flounce speech to mention you
you can thank me for that, I sent him a GAZ specifically requesting it
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

:(
I didn't even make his list

:(
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

Me neither and he's been to our house many times.
So he knows exactly what kind of cunt I am.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

You can go on my list if you want.
I say my list, it's more of a "register"...
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

One can never be on too many registers.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

Someone should make a b3ta flounce site.
There could be online betting on who'll go next and shit.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

Poor Wormulus.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Awww. Wook at his widdle smile.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

In honour of the six nil trouncing?

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

MIGHTY England!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

make book names to sound like porn
example

THE BIBLE
becomes

THE COCK

go on then
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

Jesus christ
the gene pool needs a fuckload more chlorine.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

Ha ha.
I love you.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

you're jealous of my glands

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

yes. that'll be it.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

which one enrages you?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

probably the lymph.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I think I sold that one for a kidney.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

i like how people here swap roles so easily.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

Farenheit 451
becomes
THE COCK

The Great Gatsby becomes
THE COCK

etc.
( The Neville What what what, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

what about Jesus, was he ok?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

Jesus
was da bomb. He was a man's man, and not to be trifled with, in any way.
( The Neville What what what, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Was he diabetic?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Only half of jesus
was diabetic. The other half was triabetic.
( The Neville What what what, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

Was God angry when Jesus died?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

WWJDFTW?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

What Would Reg Hollis Do?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

Lots of rumours this afternoon that
Real Madrid are also going to sign David Villa. Goodness.
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

I was just thinking
'Isn't he a bit old' but then realised I'd in fact been thinking of David Ginola.

I'M OVERTIRED AND STILL EXCITED FROM LAST NIGHT. That's my excuse
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Good then, was it?

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Amazing.
Out of this world. The hammering down rain didn't even ruin it for me, though the people around me nearly did by fucking MOANING about the weather constantly. And they all had brollies and waterproof jackets and little plastic poncho things. I had none of these, got proper soaked and LOVED IT.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Jolly well done.

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

And you're rubbesh at football.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

You
FUCK OFF
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

football news is the best news

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

It certainly is.

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

fucking hell
I know because of the dodgy Spanish funding rules that surrond the big 4 in Spain that it's practically impossible for them to go bankrupt ... but it's not ACTUALLY impossible. And Perez can't spend his own money or bail them out. What is he buying these people with?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

Government money? The fact that they own 50% of all their players' image rights will help.
And they'll make a shit load of money from merchandising. Shirt sales along almost covered Beckham's fee to Madrid I think.
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

War and Penis

( M o D, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

COCK and BALLS

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

Your example is rubbish.
Animal Farm would've been a better example. Perhaps this then:
Out and down on Paris Hilton, in London, another Orwell, but whatever. I'm shit at this.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

Animal Cock by George Erection Snr II

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

Fantastic, you'll win the pulitzer for this.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

Do they award it to Hindus?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

They'll give it to anyone nowadays.
Bloody forrins...
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

As a Hindu I curse you with Vishnu's Flame!

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

Go bugger a heron or something.
Everyone will practice this when my religion takes off.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

NINETEEN EIGHTY FORE PLAY
More Orwell. Sorry.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

nineteeneightyPORN

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Nineteen Eighty Whore

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Bleak House
But it's Alright, Because People Are Fucking In It
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

I sure hope there's no anal in it.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

At least 45 gallons of it.
All in your fucking face. Take it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

I like the idea of measuring anal in gallons.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

...there are other ways?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Well, it IS June.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

A Tale of Two Titties

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

You can't have that. That one's mine.
www.sickrik.com/search/talk?q=tale+of+two+titties
( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

The producer and I..*neuuurgh*..the producer and I..

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Bleak Arse

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

This is where Wormulus would come in handy.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

y

+his
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

hand
+purse
( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

A Skill In Mocking Birds
humiliation porn.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

Skull-fucking birds?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

198foreplay
no cunt for old men
the murder of jesse james by the GREAT BIG THROBBING MANHOOD
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

A Back Passage to India

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Animal Farm
/Norfolk Blog
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Catch Her in the Eye

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

*snigger*

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

*ahahahahaah*
you dirty bugger
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Sophie's Juice.
I'm off out now.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

ahhaha
ta ta
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

Rear End Loving in Ass Vegas

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

the impotence of feeling hairchest.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Oranges are not the only fruit you can get up there

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Moby's Dick

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Throbbing Hood: Prince of Beaves

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

The Jungle Fuck

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Knickerless Nickleby

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

the curious incident of the dogging the night time

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Uncle Tom's Throbbin'

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

you're just too bad

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

Black Booty

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

GMoS: making /board better
www.b3ta.com/board/9514244
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

DOUBLE YES!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

I've over-run you with quality GMoS.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I've just downloaded some Cuban salsa music.
It's very good.

What's the JMG view on this news?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

They're lazy.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

NO!
They're all cigars.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

LAZY CIGARS JMG

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

Makes him look like a sex offender.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

because he's looking... away... from the children?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

I want more pictures of GMos in his Battle Frock.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

???
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

ERROR.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

Bugger.
I'm broekn. It was silver and shiny and a dress.
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

What?
Ah, no, I mean him in his hayah jumpy round thwack battle frock.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

I see.

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

does https not work here?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

clearly not

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

All I know is that you'd
look hot in this.
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

RIZ IT ME YOUR ROOKING FOR!

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

Pfft.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

A TRUE INTERNET

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

Let it be hereby proclaimed
through the streets and the drains that today is national INTERNET DAY

Rejoice, messy peasants, for tomorrow ye shall feast.
( The Neville What what what, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

yep

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

Whats the best disease out there then?
Clearly swine flu is a bit rubbish.

Typical really, lazy Mexican disease.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

Fat people. Racist.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

No food.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Streptococcus Pyogenes

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

it's an all-encompassing nasty little shitter, I'll give you that
but it's gram-positive, so a bit too easy to kill to take the overall crown.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

Pseudomonas

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

Smells a bit.
Dies on prolonged exposure to air.

Rubbish bug.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

"the second most common infection in hospitalized patients(nosocomial infections)" according to Wikipedia. Can live in soap and antiseptic, amongst other things.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Yeah but it can lead to Necrotizing fasciitis

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

and TSS, I know.
but it's still not a real player. Gram-negatives FTMFW.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Necrotizing fasciitus is definitely a contender due to the double i.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

Yeah, it should ooze more.
Probably.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Henoch schonlein purpura

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

I've never met a Mexican
but I'm willing to believe they're lazy, otherwise there wouldn't be so many jokes about them being lazy

I hear they smell quite bad too
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

Mexican't

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

I'm not sure if it's a disease as such
but microcephalic primordial dwarfism.

Awwwww:

anthropologynet.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/primordial-dwarfism.jpg
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

Fake
She's just really far away.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

Bacillus Cereus
because it sounds like "serious", and Clostridium Difficil, because it sounds difficult. Because it is, probably.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

C Dif.
C Dif. Run
Run Dif. Run
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

That's it
You're barred.

Get your coat.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

MAKE ME

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

I'll set Theo on you
He's one tough mofo
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

Like shit, he lives in France.
He'll be fat from cowardice and pastries.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

Hmmm perhaps he would make too easy a victim for you...
Not that im making you out to be some sort of man eater or anything.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)

Send him to the lad's ex for that
she's been sniffing her slaggy way around recently.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

And you havent suggested to the wife that she join you in your dungeon?
Such prudishness.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

I don't really go for skanks.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

Furry muff

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Yes.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

Wait til september
Kids returning to school after summer holidays abroad

Pandemonic
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

omigodomigodomigod! I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!1
ZOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ow


oh, sorry, it was just a large fart.

carry on
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

HILOLARITY!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

I might be the highlight of this thread.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

PANIC!
We're all going to die*

eventually
( the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

no.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

GMoS is immune to the ravages of time

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

GMOSWIN!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/9708/1244690228/Image1.jpg
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

this means so much to me!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

We've got to laugh away the tears.
Sadly most will comfort eat.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

"Herrrre's GMOS!"

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

GMoS should be central to most movies.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

Planet of the GMoS.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

well not you or me
obviously
( the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'm immortal
At least I believe so. Not been tested yet.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

Of Swine flu, no less.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

Transhumanist!
*immortalises*
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Oh well,
never mind.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

You can't have Pandemic with Panic.

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

PARMAGEDDON!

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

What is the official opinion on Cronaldo going to Real?

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

I'm actually surprised
but with a healthy dose of "Meh". You can buy a fuck of a lot of talent with £80m. But it interesting to see SAF back down on his policy of never selling a player he wants to keep.

They'll do well to win the league next season, though. Period of transition I think. And since Liverpool will be playing down the local park in second-hand kit next season, could be your year. Unfortunately.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Interesting to see who you'll replace him with. Not sure Valencia's your man, and I'm hoping RIbery doesn't join you, but that is looking unlikely.
Depends on how Ancelotti does for us and who we sign, but I was pleased by this Ronaldo news!
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

Fuck Ribery. Bayern want £65M for him
You can't pay that much for a man who looks like he's been set on fire and put out with a shovel. No matter how good at football he is.

Still - If they buy Ribery and keep Tevez - Ribery, Tevez and Rooney? ugliest strike force in world football? all the need is Ronaldinho.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

Some quicker than others.
I want to fucking hit something, internets.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

In the booty call sense or the beating off sense?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

In the 'cause as much damage as possible and THEN start biting' sense.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

Fucking tease.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

Does anyone like being elbowed in the face and want to come to west Herts?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

Drop mongy a gaz
He's up for anything, as long as he sees some bumhole.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

Yeah, no.
How about you? You can't be doing anything important.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I need to organise my collection of paperclips

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Fucker.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Yep, swine flu pandemic :D
I know somebody who's got it (as does half the UK now) but they're not that ill at all.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

Dont let them use your pool.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

lifes a bitch then you die fuck the world lets get hiiiiigh

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

I'm guessing that wasn't Descartes.

( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

Well, statistically, not from swine flu we're not
"28,000 cases globally and 141 deaths"

giving it a fatality rate of 0.5%. "normal" flu is 2-3%. So H1N1 is actually 4 times less dangerous than "normal" winter flu. Of which we have at least one pandemic every year, usually 2 or 3.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

You'll eat those words when you are dying of DEADLY SWINE FLU
DEADLY
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

yeah.
or I might just eat some more pig.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Stop bringing facts into this!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

Well this is it. The clue's in the name, it's 'flu. It's not ebola.
People die of common 'flu all the time, and no-one's panicking about that.
( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Also, a healthy dose of beating
to anyone else who goes "ah, yeah, but Spanish Flu, that killed loads and loads, it could be like that"

except 99+% of the victims of Spanish Flu didn't die of flu. It's only a minor point.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

I see Frank Sidebottom has joined the list of terrible advertising sellouts.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

Say WHAAAAT?
I saw him on Friday, he was aces.
( fannycradock, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

what a bastard,
wanting money for the job he does.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

I NO

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Has he?
What for? I know John Shuttleworth is doing Yorkshire Tea ads.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

WHAT?!
Sidebottom is doing double glazing. So is Little Frank. Bastards.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

Who's on the list now?
Iggy Pop, Ozzy, Frank Sidebottom, Christian Slater...
( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

christian slater sold out as soon as he got paid to do a movie.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Alright flangeface?

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

Not bad, Red Bush. You?
Blue Star, can I watch the scary fillum?
( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

I'm grand.
Here it is, it's a coat, there it is and here it comes, your time is coming, don't be late, it's a coat, there it goes.

When do you want to watch the scary fillum?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

Whenever we're all free. I've no plans for Sunday.

( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

John Lydon

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

I AM AN ANTICHRIST
I AM AN ANARCHIST
I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I KNOW HOW TO GET IT
I WANT SOME LOVELY, LOVELY BUTTER
( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

JMG!
Don't worry. 98.5% of those who take the internet way too seriously can't see any of this.
So let's talk about the football.

What would YOU do with £80m in today's transfer market?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Buy an 80% share in the Toon Army.

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

That's the stupidest thing in the world.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

I know.
We haven't referred to ourselves as the "Toon Army" now in around 12 years.
That's SKY TV for you.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Exactly
and the "army" is the fans, not the club.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

That's what I wanted to buy.
The Geordies.
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

Typical Chelsea.
Trying to buy fans.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

*waves £20 note at you*
20 10

10 5
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

i am looking forward to JMG coming to Cardiff next season.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

Are you still going to be here?
I've put off daysof punching fatties to support the SSG FOREVER cause.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

well the fixtures should be out next month,
and i should last at least half of next season, so we'll see!
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

if i make it that long.
hopefully the fixtures will work in my favour for this.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

True.
I woudn't really do that. Messi is the only other player who could be worth that much.
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Or Shola!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

*ruffles hair*

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

HAVE FUN IN THAT AFRICA.
when do you go?
( sleepybinky, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

7th of September. Wooooooooooooooooooo!

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

That's a good day

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

Stuff it in 80 mattresses and throw them all away

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

topiclol

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

I'm on fire
Metaphorically speaking

And I have presents. I opened them while the bird was here cuz it sucks to open presents with no one around. She accidentally bought me a white gold bracelet that is exactly the same style as my engagement ring. This makes me do a :)
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

chav

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

It's been 12 minutes and I can't think of a hilarious response
You're going to have to give me more to work with Chompy.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

You Norwich Chav

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

I don't own anything Kappa or Elizabeth Duke :(
I did once live in Chavtown, Norwich, also known as Mile Cross, but that's was only because I couldn't afford a house anywhere else.

It was fine, we never had any trouble, they go to other parts of Norwich to steal things because everyone in Mile Cross knows their mums.

EDIT: TL-DR innit blud
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

are you going to post me some rice crispy cakes as a late birthday present or not?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

No. No I'm not
Even though they're full of chocolatey syrupy marshmallowy goodness.

There are only 22 and I have to take some in for the bouncers.

If there are any left after my BEZZIE MATE gets her paws on them then I will post you one, for definite. I have the tupperware.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

AARGHHHH
*strops*
*throws stapler on floor*
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

Oh chompy :(
I'm sorry. I must be such a disappointment.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

you fucking are,
shitbitch
(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

Bumder

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

slutcunt

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Are you a lesbian now ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

What's this?
I'm clearly a man.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

I thought you were a lapdancer ?
I cant keep up with all the lies online.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

I tuck my willy between my legs
It's like Silence of the Lambs but without any acting.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

raise £20m to buy Newcastle
and flatten the ground
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

be more specific... there's a Newcastle in almost every country in the world

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

Newcastle under lyme

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

Depends who you are buying for doesnt it ?
If you're buying for Real Madrid, then it's pointless spending less than £20m on any individual.

If you're buying for the Toons assault on the Championship then £80m ought to buy you a whole squad plus pay 10 or 20 m off your debts.

If I were spunking the lot on one player, Messi.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Cocaine & crackwhores

( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

You are Alex Mosley
aicmcw
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

Yummy yummy yummy I've got smack in my tummy

( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

and it's muadhhafhfasdfjuuuuuuuuuuuu fwefuhfa

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

X_X
 
( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

Needs more "told u I woz hardcore"

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

i'd buy the barca player biscuits (sic) as fatties would put down there netbooks and come to charlton to see 20 millions quids worth of their favourite snack

( mongychops, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Excellent word work, here.
*Firm handshakes*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

Not waste it on muscular pillocks to distract the braying masses.
I'd pay off my mortgage, my mum's mortgage, but all my friends houses, give a load away to charity and probably save the rest for good causes that I find.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

All these mortgages
are unlikely to even amount to 3/4 of a million.

You've got EIGHTY MILLION. Show some imagination, think big.

I'd buy Ronaldo and make him clean dog shit up off the street.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I wouldn't buy any footballers.
There's more money floating around in that bowl than is needed anyway.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

you could start a team with a load of 18-year olds from local sixth forms.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

That'd mean being around them by choice, though.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

Make him clean up dog shit by EATING it
the smug cunt
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

Buy loads of second-hand Chechnyan weaponry
and kill everyone in the first three leagues
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

I'd spend it all on Moon Pie

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Vagner Love and Yuri Zhirkov.
Probably Igor Akinfeev while I'm at it. Clean sweep of CSKA.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

start two Formula 1 teams

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Crash them in to each other?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

F1 could be made more interesting by making half the cars drive the opposite way round the track

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

or having figure 8 tracks but with crossroads instead of bridges

( parttimedogfish, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

this is an awesome idea!

(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

Just buy a scalextric set
there's more overtaking.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

The season looked like it was going to be interesting at the start
& has got progressively duller with each race. Formula 1 needs water hazards & stuff to liven it up.
( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

Needs to be more like Interstate '76
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interstate_%2776
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

NO!
uk.gamespot.com/pc/driving/bigrigsotrr/review.html
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

Wanna see my big rig?

( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

oh man, I got's ta play this
uk.gamespot.com/pc/driving/bigrigsotrr/video/6086534/big-rigs-over-the-road-racing-gameplay-movie-3
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

I want to have a go of this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVfV2OzEHwg
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

my mate had that game
it was terrible
( parttimedogfish, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

The chequered flag will be replaced by the "You're Winner!" banner,
for every driver.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

YOU'RE WINNER!

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

No,
YOU'RE WINNER!
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

buy a load of aircraft carriers,
and arrange them in a circuit.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

How many aircraft carriers do you think you could buy with only £80m?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

about 18
www.kungfo0.org/theweb/ebay/carrier.html
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

"H.P.: 36,000 SHP"
Is that Sea Horse Power?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

Shaft Horse Power, apparently.
I guess a ship doesn't have brakes.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

John Shaft Horse!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

Oh dear.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

I'd steal the money and buy some pretty shoes.
I think I put too much butter in my cake, it's got a thin layer of melted marge on top. I've left it in a few more minutes to see if it helps.
( Bats, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

has it helped?

( mongychops, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

I'm aware you find me dull.
I kind of miss the venom-spitting mongy, what happened to him? Is he still in there?
( Bats, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

nope, his file was deleted when i was upgraded to version 2.0, new, nice, caring, sensitive software

( mongychops, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

Thing is JMG,
Me being old and all that, I remember way back when £80m was an aweful lot of money.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I remember when one hundred pounds could buy ANYTHING

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

HA!
Keep up with the times Grandad!
That's the price of a season ticket these days.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

1991
Paul Gascoigne
£5m

Seemed like the most money anyone would ever spend on a footballer.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

Add his bar bill to that and it takes it close to the £80m.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

I've got at least £23million in change down the back of my sofa.

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

We wipe our arses on white fivers.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Invest in hair and tanning salons.
And buy a Buell 1125R
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

Eighty million pounds ?
Eighty fucking million pounds and you've just spent about four hundred grand.

People her have no fucking imagination.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

Why the fuck would I want to spend all of it?
What should I say? some lolwhacky answer like 'fill a pool with pudding and pay models to wrestle in it'?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

Yeah!
Say that!
It's not like it's legally binding or anything.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

who needs laws?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

courts

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

Actually, I'd set aside a million
to buy 50 Fiat 125ps and fit them with proper modern engines, brakes and stuff, reinforce the shells, make them roadworthy, and sell them to real Polish Patriots for half-price.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

Buy fuckloads of shares in Bogdanka when they make their share issue
And establish a Polish Entrepreneurs Fund to inspire these bastards to open some fucking shops and sell stuff.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

You got some INSIDE knowledge?
My AFC Energy shares have shot right up.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Buy that electric hedge trimmer I've had my eye on.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

Pfffft, I choked a bit after reading that.

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

steady on there, hire one first see if you like it

( mongychops, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

If you want to hang around me you'd best get used to my wreckless ways fast.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

i'm giddy just reading all this
i need a lay down
( mongychops, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

A blender
and the remainder would go on cats.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

I'd buy an island in the south pacific and turn
it into some sort of secret layer and invest the money in new technologoies with a view to becoming a superhero.
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

Employ my favourite b3tans
So they'd never have to work for cunt employers again, other than me.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

Transfer it all into my named Swiss account,
then pay it from there into my numbered accounts.
Then move some through Lichtenstein and the BV islands.
Once it had undergone some bearer bond transformations, and filtered through some umbrella companies I would use it to buy up small team stadiums, thus hopefully thwarting the growth of up and coming players, leaving the cream of the shit to be promoted to the big teams.
With the low standard the hardcore fans would beat each other to death in rage, and the not-so-hardcore would simply get bored. This would allow the gradual decline of the big game and the seriousness that goes with it.

From the money I make speculating against teams shares I would finance a campaign across all remaining football grounds that states 'and Lager is shit too, you fucking thugs'.

I'm not really a football fan. But I do enjoy a kickabout in the park.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

jumpers for goalposts, mm

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

Enduring image isn't it?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

Gary Lineker, face aglow, bearing down on you

(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

:(

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Build a timetravel sexorium and go and find Raquel Welch in her 'One Million Years B.C' days.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

I want to change my answer to this.

(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

Make Take That perform their Circus show just for me and my friends.
It was FUCKING BRILLIANT.

Or use my cash to stalk famous people that I fancy.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

*sadface*
I have heard very good things of the tour.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

It was fabulous.
Even the fact it was hammering it down with rain didn't detract from it's magnificence. And I saw Howard live in the flesh. And I did do screaming at him. And I cried when they played Rule the World and there were fireworks and a mechanical elephant and jugglers. And clowns, but they can fuck off.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

Or spend it all on cakes.
Or get a personality transplant. Or something.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

On the 22nd of July I'll be in Newcastle
Fighting in the Northern Open.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

*Punches the sky*
I'll prepare the bunting.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

I expect to see the following signs
"GO GO GMOS RANGER!"

and

"POWER TO KOBUDOKAN X"
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

SEE!
there's always a positive!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

I'll do my best to take the cup home.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

leave my mind-numbing job and live happy.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

What's work like as a mind number?

( Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

boring.
there is lots of copy and pasting and condescending colleagues.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

Chroflstiano Lolaldo!
I'd put £40m into state of the art training facilities and bring in about 8000 people on trial. You must be able to find a few good players from that.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

I share a birthday with Ray Bradbury
Can anyone reccomend me a fucking good novel to read while I am on holiday next week ?

If not, I shall stamp my feet and cry.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

Read a Neil Gaiman book.

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

I've read them all
Some of them are great, but some of them are a bit meh.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Ok, sorry.

( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Read 'The Reliquary'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Is it about Tories and food ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

No
Dirty homeless and people getting their heads cut off.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Either that or SSG's upcoming autobiography
Its about his struggle with death
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

death life
( Jobe, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Pfft that also

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

how can you bully a dying man?
:( :( :(
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)