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damn polish people takin' all our threads !!!
Hello lovely talkers, how are you all this wonderful day?
(

FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:13, archived)

psshhhht
that's what my spray gun sounded like, as it pumped toxic chemical death into the atmosphere.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:14, archived)

haha
an airbrush? what have you been painting?
(

FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:16, archived)

no, a spray gun
I did a bonnet and a wing
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:20, archived)

Space Marines is my guess.
'Ning The LOVELY Fiendy.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:21, archived)

ningles the lovely Stuj

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FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:22, archived)

What colour are you shooting?

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magnum, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)

Marvel at how I casually drop in common spraying slang to integrate

(

magnum, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)

hahahaa

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FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)

I've got pubes where my eyes should be
and eyes where my pubes should be. What am I?
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:15, archived)

chernobyl victim?

(

FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:17, archived)

a noitmare

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:25, archived)

Apple's new iPube™

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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:26, archived)

Upside down

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SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:32, archived)

Mortal Wombat with a 6 year old?

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postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:48, archived)

I don't think we're ever going to find out, you know
:(
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SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 19:04, archived)

Fantastic thanks now I've got four days off
gonna get drunk and watch lots of filums
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:22, archived)

Barfly is good one to see drunk

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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:27, archived)

If I'm going to watch something with Faye Dunaway in
it's going to be Eyes of Laura Mars and nothing else ;)
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Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:33, archived)

yuss
i'm getting drunk tonight and probably telling everyone i love them.
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FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:31, archived)

I'm wonderful ta.
You?
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:22, archived)

im good thanks
:D
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FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:32, archived)

Dear friend, you misspelled friend, Sincerely Postal
(Fiend is not a word. I just looked it up. Just a big spot of whiteout where it used to be)
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postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:26, archived)

'Ning The AWESOMEST postal-san.
*Manders*
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:35, archived)

that's the first time in my life anyone has called me lovely
will you marry me?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:27, archived)

hahahaha I am not sure you have really understood how marriage works here and how the parties involved feel about each other
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:30, archived)

already engaged sorry
but you can be my mistress.
(

FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:32, archived)

but i'm a mister
so a misteress

do you really think i'm lovely, i don't think i could take the heartache
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:34, archived)

*walks off slowly*
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FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:37, archived)

wahay, classic strikethrough l/n opportunity! LOLOLOL!
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:38, archived)

*and lubes up*
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:39, archived)

a shag with a run up? oh boy
*grabs ankles*
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:41, archived)

leave planearm's ankles alone
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vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:43, archived)

you're only jealous
LOVER
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:54, archived)

:((((

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)

I'm fine, no problems
Oh wait I'm ill.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:29, archived)

You want EVEN MOAR sympathy sex?
Sheesh. Ok then Theo, brace yourself, I'm out of sandpaper lube.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:33, archived)

My knickers are red and they have podka dots on:)

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:38, archived)

*Boiks*
Hmmm, that'll do for lube...
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:45, archived)

I hope you're not being sick, this is for you
www.b3ta.com/talk/7219739
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vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:38, archived)

Ooh ta! I didn't see that
Anything you want me to promote to my VAST AUDIENCE? (or more, vast audient)
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:38, archived)

you can promote people being nice to each other as far as they can, that about covers it, fuck the rest of it, no offence
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vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:39, archived)

Gotcha, thanks sir

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:40, archived)

I left work a little early and went and watched xmen first class
omgomgomgomgomgmogawsome
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:32, archived)

im not really a fan of x-men
but that looks reasonable. All the 'cool kids' say it's rubbish though.
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FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:36, archived)

your cool kids are butts

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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:49, archived)

I very much enjoyed that film. And I'll use that as an excuse to post this again.
www.b3tards.com/u/ee0d0a7dc532064da1b6/1307882599873.jpg
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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:55, archived)

I would like this poster.
www.b3tards.com/u/ee0d0a7dc532064da1b6/1308328473190.jpg
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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:55, archived)

that is actually very cool

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:59, archived)

is that captain jack and the cast of torchwood at the top?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)

I...it's...no. Shut up.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 19:05, archived)

it is pluviating it's arse off
But I'm ok ta
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:57, archived)

I was sitting on my balcony, cleaning my gun*
when two rozzers strolled past, looking for drunks. "Are you the person who called about the drunks?" they called up to me. "No sir", I replied, since Polish is a very formal language. "Well, have you seen any drunks here?" they asked. "Oh yes, they went that way", I said in my retarded version of the language, pointing obligingly. It took them a few seconds to work out what I was trying to say, they walked off, muttering. I continued to clean my gun.*

It was only then it struck me how very much like a cowboy or redneck-Deep-South movie this situation was. Ever felt like a hick?

*Paint gun, I'd just been painting.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:52, archived)

I snogged my cousin when we were sixteen
Does that count?
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Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:53, archived)

are you both the same gender?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:54, archived)

Nope
And she's a second cousin
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:55, archived)

what, your aunts brought her home from the factory where they worked
because she wasn't good enough to be sold in the shops?
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:57, archived)

She's from Hungary so that's not far off her life
We sold her brothers, they make fine breeding stock for the Romanians
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)

~~breeding~~ soup
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:01, archived)

*Keeps schtum*

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:56, archived)

would've been better if you'd said *keeps mum*

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)

*Hint*
_profile
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)

oh....dear
oh well...such is life. I judge not.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:07, archived)

;p

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:14, archived)

Just keeping it in the family, eh?

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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:43, archived)

Well, vice is nice....

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:44, archived)

incest is best

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:45, archived)

But I heard that vice are paedophiles.

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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)

So's Pete Townsend.
It doesn't mean we're not allowed to like his music anymore does it Jaction?
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)

That is exactly what it means, the EXCELLENT stuj.

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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:50, archived)

Well, at least that means nobody's allowed to play ANY Michael Jackson songs ever again.

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:53, archived)

But at least I'm not Bert.
_{she was a second or third cousin and in the remedial class at her school, so not full retard}
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)

You're a hero
Just so you know that
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:01, archived)

my cousin was more like a sister to me except that we had less sex

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:17, archived)

my cousin and i used to do dirty msn chat
great times
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)

Yeah.
I'm thinking this is a bit wrong here...
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:42, archived)

bear in mind his cousin was 9 at the time

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)

no she was 27 i think

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:48, archived)

well that makes it alright then

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:57, archived)

exactly

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:17, archived)

:/

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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:43, archived)

SNOGGY COUSIN FUN TIMES

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Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:02, archived)

Nope

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:55, archived)

Hot damn

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:57, archived)

*twirls cane*

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:58, archived)

Nosirree.
*Swigs moonshine*
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:57, archived)

*spits tobacco juice*

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:00, archived)

*works at a gas-station, refuses to reveal information to a passer by until a sum of money is paid*

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:05, archived)

How much does it cost?
How much yoo got boy?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:08, archived)

Bottle o' Hooch an' sum deep fried 'taters might refresh ma memory

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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:22, archived)

Ah got grits.
You wan' grits?
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:22, archived)

Yes*
*no
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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)

Darn tootin!

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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)

Not really.
Living in a developed country and all...
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:08, archived)

Any country that can provide work for someone like you
can hardly be called "developed"
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:12, archived)

Hardly a qualified statement as you don't know me outside of here.
I, however, still know that Poland is a shithole.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:16, archived)

how have you come to that conclusion?

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:17, archived)

Because they haven't got an EXTREME frisbee league.

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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:19, archived)

Actually they do

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Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:20, archived)

I can see your point, then.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:21, archived)

Xenophobia

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:20, archived)

coupled with crippling ignorance, most likely

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:23, archived)

should run for that party with the spakky eyed cunt in
i bet the BNP love frisbee
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:26, archived)

That's 2 for 2 on the ad hominem-type arguing, Grry.
Care to go for a hat trick?
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)

You really need to get into an e-Prime way of thinking if you ever want to make it in the courts, Adam
or that claim of knowing is going to get you in trouble.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)

I'm glad you cleared this up.
If you don't mind I have to go soil myself with modern western anti-culture now. I may need your acerbic eastern insight later if you're free.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:34, archived)

That's quite alright
Come back when you've learned your own language, before you start dabbling in others, especially dead ones.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:36, archived)

Oh, you! Now you're just flirting.
*waves away* hush now, Breadline. I've got ignorance to do.
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Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:41, archived)

do you like being shouted at?

(

jenpots, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)

Yes
No, wait that's wrong. No.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:42, archived)

Hey now, that's unfair.
Having an enforced euthansia prgramme hasn't been allowed in the West since the end of WW2. We look after our window-lickers and provide them with mental stimuli, not like you Eastern bloc types with your Romanian orphanariums.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

In a decent society, he'd be in an isolated blockhouse far away from any residential district
spending his days rocking back and forth in his chair, or pulling the wings off flies. Giving him responsibility is just a cruel joke.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)

In a right-thinking society they'd be subject to Aktion T4.
"60,000 Reichsmarks is what this person suffering from a hereditary disease costs the People's community during his lifetime. Comrade, that is your money too. Read '[A] New People', the monthly magazine of the Bureau for Race Politics of the NSDAP."
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)

How much is 60,000 Reichsmarks?

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:48, archived)

At today's exchange rate or back in old money?

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:50, archived)

Gimme both.
This mong has his own timemachine
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Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:54, archived)

By "Timemachine" you mean "Mickey Mouse Alarm Clock"
AICMFP
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:57, archived)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*clutches ~~clock~~ time machine and rocks in the corner howling*
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:59, archived)

Croydon is basically the 3rd world
But with 4 McDonalds and a Primark
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:15, archived)

every day of my life

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:21, archived)

When I moved down to Northampton from Yorkshire, the other kids kept asking me to say things
as they found my charming Northern accent ~~something to be ridiculed~~ fascinating.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:23, archived)

When I used to go on holiday
to see my cousins in Ireland, they used to make me say stuff as well because they thought my accent was hilarious. Cow was a particular favourite of theirs. Bastards. At least I can say 'three'
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)

I live in Suffolk

(

magnum, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:43, archived)

there was the incident with the Banjo
but i'm banned from saying anything about, suffice to say, Windy Pig is not my real name.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)

You've shattered the illusion for me now :(

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:48, archived)

YOU'RE ROBOCHOPS!
Yay, this has made my day :)

(It's not been a very exciting day)
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SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:15, archived)

I read all of that like it was a Johnny Cash story song.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:03, archived)

that's exactly the right way to read it
just imagine everything I type in Cash's voice
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:05, archived)

hush biggun

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:34, archived)

Not recently.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:12, archived)

Dang!
Now, mind you, blowin' up the Boar's Nest outhouse was the dirtiest thing them Duke boys ever pulled besides a plow, but doggone if it weren't necessary. Sure, it made a bar full of good ol' boys madder than a weasel in a gum-bush, and pretty near scorched the skivvies right off of poor ol' Deputy Wilbur Fudge, but there's more than plain meanness to this here deal. In fact, in all the ruckus, I reckon no one noticed Daisy switchin' the counterfeit money bags on poor ol' Enos–and it's an unusual day in Hazzard County when a body don't notice the finest legs in Georgia. I guess dynamite in the two-holer does get folks' attention right quick. Ain't them boys slick?
(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:16, archived)

now with 10% less funny
b3ta.com/newsletter/issue483/
(

rob, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)

SetupBeatPuke had better be in it this week...or God help me

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)

It's not! What the fuck Rob?

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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:24, archived)

JEEZIZ FUCKING CRIST
ROB IS WELL WACK
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:51, archived)

fo'shizzle!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:55, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/6ade611e1870a93700b9/octosbp.jpg
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)

awesome

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:57, archived)

it must've been something he EIGHT AHAHAHAHAHA

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:05, archived)

TJ: A girl in my office just told me she thought I was 23.
RESULT.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

You aren't?
*deletes off facebook*
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

No.
I'm an almost pensionable 32.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:26, archived)

Good lord
I can't even count that high
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)

Still younger than me
And logically you always should be
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)

Old enough to be a legal grandma.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)

Fuck off back to /links.
And UNBAN DING! FREE THE CHINA ONE!
BRING BACK BOU!
FREE SYNCY!
BALDMONKEY FOR MOD!
etc
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)

What about me, Stuj?

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)

What about you?

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:47, archived)

Harsh, dude :(

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:07, archived)

You should totally have booked to go to the festivals this year.
Bowling For Soup at Download, Sum 41 at Sonisphere, it'd be like fratboy heaven for you for about three quarters of an hour over each three day festival.
:D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)

Shhhhh, that's a dear.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:34, archived)

kKkkkkkKkRrrRrrriiiIisSSsttttTiiiIinnNnneEEEeE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Panders*
:D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:48, archived)

SSssSs$$$$tTtTTttuuUuuUuuUuuuUUuuujjJJjJJjjJ!!!!!!

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:21, archived)

I would like to take a moment to applaud rob's unstinting commitment to producing these newsletters
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:36, archived)

well done rob and team
clapclapclapclapclap
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:37, archived)

what a guy

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:40, archived)

TIME TRAVEL

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 0:33, archived)

Wouldn't it be great if you could download a snooze?
Go onto amazon (or piratebay if you're cheap) and download 50 megabytes of nap time?

yeah, that would be niczzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)

I would like to download some lungs which work properly

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:15, archived)

When you figure it out let me know
*wheezes*
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:18, archived)

I'm not well TH
I shouldn't be at work :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)

Bad ill?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)

Shitlung syndrome
Chest cough ow can't breath whoops dizzy what who are you
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

Shit...I take it you've seen a doctor?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:26, archived)

Nah, I'm just at work instead
Cos I'm an idiot
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)

oh Theo
Going on Monday? Ain't wirf it bruv. Gotsta go when its your breevin.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)

Yeah, if I'm still shit, been shit for about a week now
Might take the weekend off, got to do a training tomorrow, did one today, almost killed me.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)

Do it man. And there's always the out of hours Doc's if it gets bad.
Dr. Two Hats is IN
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:32, archived)

No, that would be awful. I'd hate it.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:17, archived)

Haha, yeah', I guess that lolwaki prick should just fuck off. Yeah', you're right, he probably has yelled "WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY NI".

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)

That'd be gash.
Nothing beats an actual nap.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)

Yeah whatever.
I've just been round the Fareham charity shops. Got a suit. It's ace. 3 piece. got a tie to go with it too. £19.50. I have to lose a few inches to fit in it though.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:30, archived)

What Lies Beneath

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:30, archived)

Flubber?

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:35, archived)

Sneezy Rider.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:48, archived)

Aaah, the classic Snow White porno.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:54, archived)

THAT could be a great thread.
Two films together; one that asks a question, one that answers.
Eg:

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
Piranhas.

But funny.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

Who Rimmed Roger Ramjet?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:05, archived)

picasso

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:13, archived)

King Kong

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:02, archived)

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
Aliens
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:13, archived)

When WIll I Be Loved?
The Day After Tomorrow
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)

O Brother, Where Art Thou?
On Golden Pond
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)

BUT FUNNY

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

In theory it sounded like a good idea, though.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:33, archived)

What Happens in Vegas?
www.imdb.com/title/tt1508661/
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

You still looked like a shaved mong that's been stuffed into it.
No matter how many pies you cut out.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:31, archived)

I'll look fucking ace.
It's browny green; like baby shit. With white pin stripes.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)

Like baby shit that's been Aqua Freshed

(

magnum, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

Instead of shrinking you could just stand further away.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)

But if he stands close to it
it'll look bigger.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:52, archived)

Fareham is gay
And by definition anyone in it is also gay
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:48, archived)

Uraguay.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

NEGATORY

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:05, archived)

i'm a little upset i missed the majority of the penis/vagina film thread
Towering Inferno
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

soz
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:20, archived)

damn you
and both your hats
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

Say what you will about me
but leave the hats out of this
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

sorry
didn't mean to overstep the line, internet banter, no offence. xx
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)

I hear clingfilm-sweating is the way to go.
I appear to have done myself a minor injury. Any medical types in the house?
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:19, archived)

cut it off at the nearest joint

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

Imma read that as 'lots of Ibuprofen and painkillers'

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

+ snacks

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)

Snacks won't help.
...will they?
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:44, archived)

look, who's the doctor here?
Just eat some snacks and see me in the morning

Bring wine
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, archived)

Yes Doc
*snaffles bag of crisps*
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

that might help numb the pain
when the saw bites in to the bone. That or get really drunk, but carefully mark the correct limb before you start drinking or who knows what you could lose.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:28, archived)

~~arest joint~~ ck
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:28, archived)

terrible bullying
of the plastic disc throwing crazy cripple.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:29, archived)

ne co
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:29, archived)

cock joint?
i dont have a cock joint, is there something wrong with me?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:32, archived)

yes, undoubtedly

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:33, archived)

How on earth do you manage it when you need to fuck round corners?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:45, archived)

mine has 4 joints for this exact reason

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:46, archived)

Mine helps with the gear changes

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:48, archived)

I can peel a watermelon with mine

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:52, archived)

and i thought i felt inadequate before

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:53, archived)

Naw it's cool, you can get it fixed if you really want it.
I hear BM offers some kind of cock-cracking service
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:56, archived)

i don't think i want BM near my cock to be honest
no offence.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:57, archived)

Alright...I'LL do it it then...
give it here
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)

Too late.
I'm on my way.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:02, archived)

I'm bringing wine

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)

i've got scented candles
and a warm bath running.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:08, archived)

I've roped cr3 into going camping with my best friend and her boyfriend
The poor bugger. We are terribly cackly when we get together.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:32, archived)

You guys never invite me camping with you anymore.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:37, archived)

She means they're all going to mince down Old Compton Street together.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:55, archived)

They never invite me to mince down Old Compton Street with them anymore.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)

I have the mother of all hangovers ever.

(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:54, archived)

it's always about you isn't it.
poor frisbee just had a limb amputated.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:56, archived)

I can still feel it, even though it isn't there anymore :(

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:57, archived)

*something about being legless last night*

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:57, archived)

that was genuinely funny

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)

Hello new person...I don't really have two hats
Now you say
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)

I wasn't actually expecting sex
but a reply would have been nice
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)

Fuck off.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)

shut up, I'm trying to score here

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:01, archived)

Woah! Is it a girl?
With all tits and a Posseidon Adventure?
I take it all back.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)

I don't give it a shit...I'll fuck anything
and I mean ANYTHING

/animalvegetablemineral
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)

uhhh
would you cook with it?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)

sexy cooking?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

I've just spazzed back through its posts.
It IS a girl, but not a real one; a cripple in a wheelchair.
Fucking waste of resources.

NO OFFENCE.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

Oh, I know
Doesn't bother me
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:17, archived)

STUMP FUCKING!

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)

yep, I'm up for that

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)

alright mongy

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)

Dear B3tards
This is a plea for help.

I have a very good friend doing a difficult and dangerous job in Afghanistan at the moment, and he appeared on a BBC news report last night to do an interview. He wants to be able to show his team and his family the clip, but he isn't allowed to view the iPlayer "in this region".

I presume that the BBC thinks Afghanis don't pay their TV licence!

If anyone is able to rip this iPlayer link from 16mins 00secs to 19mins 05 seconds, to a common video format (avi, mpeg etc), it will make a lot of people feel happy that they are being thought of at home. www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b011y33v/BBC_News_at_Ten_16_06_2011/

I thank the good people of B3ta in advance. My email address is rick01 at gmail dot com

Thanks again, good people, and apologies for the lack of LOLZ in this post.

EDIT: I am an idiot. I copied the wrong URL. This is the correct one now. *slaps head*
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:12, archived)

The "good people of B3ta"?
Never heard of them.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)

I would if I had a screenripper, I'm on a mac and there aren't any proper programs like FRAPS for Windows.

(

moohalaa, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)

YOU QUAD-CORE QUEEN!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:21, archived)

I'm sorry, I have no skills in this department. Good luck though.
LET'S TALK ABOUT WILLIES
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)

I've got one
And, right, I've got some lamb curry here. Get me!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)

Which is your favourite willy?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:21, archived)

I reckon it's going to be steamboat

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)

Gotta pop out the office for a bit....
Sorry I won't be able to give a response for a while. Once again, thanks in advance to anyone who is able to help.

xxxxxxxxx
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:19, archived)

Tell him to contact BFBS.
Or his unit's Information Officer.
Media handling and that sort of thing would have been explained to him during his arrivals brief and would also be comprehensively covered in his arrivals bumf too.
Is your friend some sort of thickie?
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:34, archived)

Aww, man I'm the thickie here.
Your mate's Ayman al-Zawahiri, isn't he?
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:39, archived)

Yes. He was one of the terrorists in the clip.

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

This is a question about maths. Sort of.
My parents still play the lottery. They're in a small syndicate of five. If they win a tenner, they use that to pay for the next two weeks. I say that if they win a tenner, they should buy 15 lines the next week, as that gives them more of a chance of winning, while getting two weeks 'free' merely prolongs the agony of not winning anything again. Which do you think is the best way?

Alternative question: Benjamin Disraeli. Was he right?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

Depends how concerned they are over saving £4.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

Those questions are boring.
Where should I go on holiday that's cheapish and superfun?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

Hilsea

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:16, archived)

Sell it to me.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:17, archived)

There is a lido
That is often closed mid-season due to some sort of HSE violation. That's about it.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)

FIT.
I would like to be beside the seaside actually but Hilsea sounds a bit mank. No offence, forum banter etc.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:22, archived)

No, you're right...it's rubbish.

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:23, archived)

It's near me.
You can tug me off over your tits while talking russian.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:19, archived)

Niet.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:23, archived)

Ungh.
That's plenty ta.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:25, archived)

I do not mean these things.
Sorry.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:29, archived)

Dr Stiffhardo

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:46, archived)

Battleship Potemkock

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:47, archived)

letter to brezknob

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:02, archived)

would you like to buy hilsea?
a fiver, to you.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:19, archived)

For a fiver you could buy Hilsea, Landport and Buckland.
And the Freedom of Copnor
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:22, archived)

i have literally no idea what you are talking about.
don't stop though. i like the confusion.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:23, archived)

Old Portsmouth, Southsea, Milton, Baffins
Doing anything for you?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:25, archived)

oh man, baffins.
this is like that bit from a fish called wanda, isn't it?
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

haha

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:27, archived)

And get free hand jobs from mike handcock for life

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:23, archived)

pfft...cock

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

does it have both a hill and a sea?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:19, archived)

it's sort of like some hills

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:20, archived)

no, not really
There's a sort of big river that runs towards the sea...but there aren't any hills. Sorry.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:21, archived)

No.
But within a mile or so there is a hill and in the other direction there is the sea.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:21, archived)

Shell Island in Wales.
It's famous for shells, so they reckon. Or hop on a cheap flight to Berlin, or Tallinn, or the Balkans or something.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:19, archived)

nowhere
holidays are pointless. Yours was an even shitter question.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:19, archived)

Your comment was the shittest you misanthropic rust bucket.
Go have a pina colada and a wank. Enjoy life a little. I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY GRRRMACHINE!
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:21, archived)

I'm very happy
I just changed the oil in my car, and spilt it everywhere. And even that's more enjoyable and less polluting than modern tourism.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:22, archived)

Did you rub it all over yourself?

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

It's proper engrained into my pores
the most appropriate word here is "slathered".
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:30, archived)

PHWOAR.
You just keep on basting yourself.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:09, archived)

Felixstowe.
I'm lying, it's SHIT.

I don't know. Camping is costing me £20 a night, which I think is fairly cheap for August.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:20, archived)

it's still better than lowestoft.
lowestoft is fucking terrifying.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

Oh Christ this.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

it's proper third world.
i went once when my daughter was very tiny. there was a market populated by neanderthals in cheap leisurewear. everyone was on drugs. on reflection, it was a bit like pitsea, but actually near the sea.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:29, archived)

Skegness was a place of similar interest
I'm tempted to not go there ever again
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)

Heh.
You have NEVER been to Dare Valley Country Park.
:D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:57, archived)

Or Trecco Bay.
:D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:58, archived)

Pentonville.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

Sounds VERY boutique!

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:27, archived)

Tres chic, cherie
www.screenwork.nl/images/Amy/Pentonville.jpg
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:29, archived)

Take a cheap flight to Krakow, ride the bus to Zakopane, rent an apartment and climb the mountains
You get views like this
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:32, archived)

if you look closely at the shore of the smaller lake
there's a hostel there, where you can spend the night.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:33, archived)

That is absolutely staggeringly beautiful.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:09, archived)

It wasn't an easy walk, hands and knees part of the way
but renting a studio apartment is about 40 quid a night, flights and food are cheap, and there's a lift to the top of the mountains so you can just stroll around from there.

It's well worth it.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)

next door

(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:45, archived)

DIGGERLAND!
'Noon The LOVELY Tee Eff Dee.
*Panders*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:53, archived)

'Noon Stuj!
We really must arrange to meet soon. Mini Oxford bash, just like the old times.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)

When it was all fields.
Yes.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)

Too busy doing cock film jokes
Slither
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:16, archived)

Touch Of Evil

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:20, archived)

YOU MASSIVE FUCKING TWAT AAAAAAAAAGAA!!!!

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

you lose, spasticface

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:33, archived)

Touch Of Evil

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:20, archived)

YOU MASSIVE FUCKING TWAT AAAAAAAAAGAA!!!!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:20, archived)

The Untouchables.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:22, archived)

Home Alone

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:25, archived)

Never Been Kissed

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

Lost

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:27, archived)

The Invisible Man

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

Swamp Thing

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)

Toxic Avenger

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:33, archived)

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:22, archived)

uk.imdb.com/title/tt0057181/
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

why the hell have we not done Pee-wee's Big Adventure yet, we're losing it
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

BIG TOP PEEWEE

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:27, archived)

Shaft
/easy opener
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

soz
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:29, archived)

Oh, these days I never seem to make it past the first thread.
Why the FUCK has nobody said "Big"?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7219376
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:32, archived)

I'll just give up shall I?
LOLOLOLOL Dirty Harry! LOLOLOLBzzzzzlololbuzzz
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:36, archived)

soz
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)

We tried to make the board classy with terrible ancient civilisation jokes
and now it's all ruined again
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:29, archived)

Which ancient civilisation stank?
the G-reeks
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:35, archived)

Which type of Greeks made lots of poo?
The Sp ARSE tans
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)

Which race REALLY liked cats (not the Egyptians)?
The PURR-sians!!! Ha!
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:40, archived)

which palace collapsed due to the weight of small low-growing plants, there are approximately 12,000 species of moss classified in the Bryophyta.[2]?
MOSSos !
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)

which civilisation all had like loads of hernias?
the ETRUSScans !
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:41, archived)

What did Perdiccas try to blame when Ptolemy kept beating him at age of empires online?
Lagus
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:42, archived)

Why were the romans crying at the battle of cannae?
they were surrounded by carthage-onions
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:44, archived)

You are disqualified for repetition.
www.b3ta.com/talk/7219403

Stand in a damp shed for a month.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:49, archived)

which civilisation drives in the fast lane
the parthians
(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:47, archived)

which ancient perisan religion liked big sunday lunches?
the zo-roast-rians
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)

The long kiss goodbye

(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:54, archived)

Caddyshack.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:17, archived)

The Pink Panther

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)

Steptoe Rides Again

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:19, archived)

weekend at bernies

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:20, archived)

the best way is straight on at the traffic lights, over the railway bridge, then when you get to the petrol station, take the road to the left, not the first one no not that one, but the next one, it's got a londis on the corner, then it's opposite the carpenter's arms, well not right opposite but just a bit further on, don't park in the yard though the man there is a bit aggressive and put a brick through someone's window once, anyway hope you find it
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)

You're suggesting a hedge
in the sense of buying 15 lines, knowing that only one can win (the jackpot.) They're playing long odds, as where they could theoretically win the jackpot twice in two weeks. But as a gambling system, your system has better odds since it can also pick up 3-, 4- and 5-number combinations more efficiently.

What did Benjamin Disraeli ever do for us?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)

He invented disraeli great thing that I can't remember.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:21, archived)

didn't he write disraeli gears for cream?
not cream as a reward, cream the band. i don't know where i'm going with this.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:25, archived)

I was JUST going to say that
*staggers back to cave*
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

oh man, we're like really old rock-twins, or something.
want to have a talk about whether sabbath were better with ronnie james dio or ozzy osbourne?
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:32, archived)

I don't think I have the strength
but thanks
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)

What about with Tony "The Cat" Martin?
Also: 'Noon The LOVELY Sidekick.
*Panders*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:46, archived)

Are you taking something for this condition
Or is this condition the result of you taking something?
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

*tap* *tap*
Is this thing on?
:(
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:55, archived)

Your way
They should just pay the same each week, otherwise any profit (or reduction in loss) they make only perpetuates the playing. They've already decided to piss 260 quid a year on the thing, all that they're doing is finding out that they only have to piss 250 quid on it.

On the other hand, raising their chances of a big win from fuck-all to three fuck-alls makes fuck-all difference. Well, two fuck-alls difference.

They should spend it on Thunderbird and sit behind the local shops, getting pissed and scaring the local kids.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

They should spend the winnings on heroin.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

I know someone who called their cat 'Diz', shortened from 'Disraeli'
This is about as much input I can muster for this thread.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

I refuse to answer questions about Disraeli until he changes his name to Benjamin Dpalestinian.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:27, archived)

Alt: No.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

That's typical of you, stuj.
I suppose you WANT Gladstone to win?
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)

Better him than some BACON HATER!

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:41, archived)

if they win a tenner, they should only buy one lottery ticket and invest the rest in parmesan.
eventually, they'll own a whole cheese which will appreciate in its parmesan bank
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32506081/ns/business-consumer_news/t/parmesan-producers-bank-cheese/
(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:41, archived)

cheese is valuable
www.bbc.co.uk/schools/famouspeople/standard/pepys/learn/page19.shtml
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:07, archived)

I'm learning a lot today

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)

you will soon be able to pass your GCSBries

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:26, archived)

I like that

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:12, archived)

Is there any better feeling
Than perusing b3ta whilst curling one out?
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)

Yes.

NEXT
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)

What is this emotion you humans call 'love'?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)

Mutual fear of loneliness.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:28, archived)

And what is this emotion you humans call 'The Macarena'?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:31, archived)

It's a masonic signal that got out of hand.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)

is this about biscuits again, ffs

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)

IT IS OF NO CONCERN TO YOU

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)

Where do ancient tribes of arms go with all their gold to build a city and then lose it?
ELBOW-rado! (Eldorado.)
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)

If only
there were a way of saying 'I don't like this'
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

Who is the Emperor of ancient Mongolian shins?
Kub-LEG Khan!!!!!!
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)

Laydeez an Gennelmen
He's here all week.

Unfortunately.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

What ancient civilisation were a soft bone-like substance in your nose?
The Cartilage-inians.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)

What indigenous tribe were particularly knobbly?
The Aborigiknees
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)

what would you get if you tripped over in pre-roman norfolk and let the locals help?
you'd get icey knees!
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

which ancient civilisation collapsed due to making too many shit text-based pictures? the asciitecs
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)

BOOF!
Which ancient civilisation lived in tins?
The IN CANS!!!!! (incans)
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)

Which female tribe were overly erogenous?
The Amore-zone-ians
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

HAHAHAHAHA
OHOHOHOHOHOHO
AHAHAHAHAHAHA

What european tribe died of laughing too much?
The PUNS ! ! ! ! !
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:16, archived)

which european tribe spent far too much time putting on mascara and dying their hair black?
the busy goths!
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)

Which Northern tribe died out from heart attacks?
The Frykings!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:22, archived)

What do you call people stood between some doric columns queuing for a class on spreadsheets

THEY ARE ROW MANS!
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)

Which race of people had a tremendous nerve?
The GAULS!

Because they had the gaul to do things...I don't know where I'm going with this.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:17, archived)

TFD, I have some good news, and some bad news... depending on your point of view.
There was this girl on OKCupid who rated me 4 out of 5, and has really nice bazookas, and is into cooking and making things on the internet. So I wrote her a message asking her out and all that, and she replied, so I replied, but then no replies for a few days.... So, and this is where you come in, seeing as how she doesn't really want me (I don't think), that means that I'm free for the time being to date someone else, do you see where I'm going with this? So, if you could just set up your facebook's relationship status to engaged with me, that will get the ball rolling.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:02, archived)

Well thanks a lot Gonz,
I would dearly love to be your rebound but you broke my heart last time and I'm just not sure I could trust myself to be vulnerable with you again.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)

Can I fuck you, please?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:13, archived)

Fuck off.
You love your wife too much har har.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:16, archived)

Yes, there's sex, eating a nice meal, or strangling a whore and dumping her corpse in a canal.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)

Or on a good night
all three
(

Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:44, archived)

Perusing b3ta
while getting a blowjob?
(

Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

From your mum.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:26, archived)

and she's also talking to you on b3ta at the same time

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:35, archived)

FOUND THIS SITE FOR YOU
It was advertised in one of my mum's magazines with the caption "FART WITH CONFIDENCE".
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)

Could have used some of those last weekend.
Was staying with Girlfriends parents for the first time. Trying to hold farts in for that long is not good for the bowels.
(

Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)

I love the fact
they're called 'Shreddies', and they have a 'patented activated carbon rear panel'... Arf!
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

OI
LISTEN TO THE TRAINING, FUCKSHIT
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:05, archived)

Yes.
Blue Star's Jurassic Park.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:31, archived)

You wanna see my velociraptor?
*nudge nudge*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)

I very much like this game.
I wonder if it works as well for gentlemen.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:38, archived)

There is an alternative one
describeyourpeniswithamovietitle

It
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

Quite.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)

To Kill A Mocking Bird
describes an unfortunate incident that involved my penis. Does this count?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)

It's Complicated

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

Innerspace

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

Anaconda

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:49, archived)

She's Gotta Have It

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

I don't like this.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

The Whole Nine Yards

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

Bridge Over the River Kwai

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:52, archived)

I refuse to do "Big"
But in a way I just did.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:53, archived)

The Fantastic Voyage

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:54, archived)

Finding Nemo

(

Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:54, archived)

King Kong Vs Godzilla

(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:55, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt1754732/
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:55, archived)

hahaha

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)

Baby's Day Out

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)

The long kiss goodnight.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)

The Punisher

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)

Ghandi.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:57, archived)

The Incredible Shrinking Man

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:57, archived)

Memento

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:58, archived)

Transformers.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:58, archived)

The back-up plan.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)

A Series of Unfortunate Events

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)

GONE IN 60 SECONDS

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)

35mm

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)

The diary of Anne's Frankfurter

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)

G-force.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)

My sisters keeper.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:00, archived)

Inspector Gadget

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:00, archived)

I had an idea for a porn show called
"inspect her gadget"
In which porn stars would review sex toys and then demonstrate their use.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:02, archived)

I'll put up all the money, but I'll need 50% equity

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)

Up

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:01, archived)

The Thing

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt1434927/
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)

The Cyclops

(

Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)

The talented Mr Ripley.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:04, archived)

The Phantom Menace

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:04, archived)

Up

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:04, archived)

Up
Up
Up
Up
Up
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)

7 UP! HAHAHA

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)

Let Me In

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:05, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0380798/
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:05, archived)

Rising Damp
~~movie~~ tv programme
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)

Saw

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)

Cocoon

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:07, archived)

Little Big Horn
www.imdb.com/title/tt0043747/ (alternative title)
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)

Broken Arrow

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)

Dr. Strangelove

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)

super 8

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)

Free Willy

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)

8 Mile

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)

rambo

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)

Batteries Not Included

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)

Towering Inferno

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:11, archived)

Sliver.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)

Carry On Screaming

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)

IT

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:13, archived)

UP

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

Already done that lego head

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)

The Witchfinder General

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

Carry on Up the Khyber
Oh.. Hang on...
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

High fedility.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt1168658/
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

how are you finding these?
I imagine Adam Fielding would like this film, lol x
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:20, archived)

The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)

Dirty Harry?
Nah. Rubbish.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

Shaft
a little on the nose, but you get the idea
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)

The Unforgiven

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:49, archived)

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

I dunno, I just ate a really nice apple

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)

Did a snake give it to you?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)

I dunno, can snakes open plastic apple bags?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)

Yes
Cheesecake among other things
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)

Mmmm, cheesecake
I approve of this.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

Yes, many I would imagine

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)

I have to say
I disagree with almost all the responses so far. There's something about the combination of elimination and b3ta which encapsulates time-wasting completely.

All other suggestions either imply some kind of effort or you have to accommodate other people.

I WIN, YOU LOSE. The Internet is now mine. MINE I TELL YOU!

*cackles and rubs hands together maniacally*
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)

Is it half-term?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)

I don't believe so
I don't start work until 2pm, didn't get enough sleep last night and my brain isn't quite working properly yet.

If it ever will today.

Which is reassuring for any potential future passengers I may have later.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)

the first laugh of your firstborn child, the moment of triumph after years of trying, and sharing an orgasm with someone you truly love.
Of course, you wouldn't know what any of those felt like, so reading an inane forum while defecating is as good as your life gets.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)

Today I am mostly being Magneto
Have at you with my magnetic rays!! ((~~~~~~^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
((~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/\/\/\/\/\//\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
((~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\/^\\/^\\/^\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gimme your zips!

Who are you? ooh ooh, ooh ooh
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:27, archived)

I'm a human being.

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:29, archived)

I am captain not very well

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:30, archived)

with a superhuman ability to convalesce?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:19, archived)

I don't even own any zips

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:30, archived)

I'd like to think I'm Tron
but I'm probably more like TronGuy
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:30, archived)

I'd totally be in Magneto's gang.
And it's nothing to do with the fact that a) I fancy Michael Fassbender or b) Professor X is played by Austin fucking Powers.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:31, archived)

Flubber.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:33, archived)

Creeping Flesh

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)

Where The Wind Blows

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:45, archived)

yeah but he does turn into patrick stewart when he gets older
mind you, I'd still have a go with magneto because patrick stewart looks like my dad
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)

I'm someone who needs to poo but keeps pressing f5 instead.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:31, archived)

The Blob.
*blobs*
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:33, archived)

is anyone on you
?
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:37, archived)

Thousands of women.
all at once.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)

PIE FRENZY

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)

I just got 2 tickets to see Frank Turner in Glasgow, the day after my birthday, I'm very pleased with this.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:01, archived)

GRRREAAAAAAAAARRRGH I AM AN ANGRY BEAR
AND A GHOST
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)

Aww.
I LOVE Misery Bear. He's brilliant.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)

I am Bernd das Brot

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:38, archived)

I am the most exaltated potentate of love

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)

Some people call me Maurice
*sawit-sawoo*
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:02, archived)

Here, I'm not one to judge

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:04, archived)

I'M A FUCKING BEE KEEPER

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)

You better fucking not be, I hate bees
Still on for tomorrow? Will there be a twin-beard assault?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:02, archived)

BALDMONKEY AND TWO HATS SITTING IN A TREE P-I-S-S-I-N-G-O-N-O-R-C-H-E-S-T-R-A-S

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:06, archived)

I've never pissed on an orchestra I didn't like

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:11, archived)

I AM LEGION, FOR WE ARE MANY

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:56, archived)

I'm captain having sex with your mum

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:08, archived)

I AM PROFESSOR DESTRUCTO, MASTER OF SOCIOLOGY

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)

I AM GOLDMAN
The most Jewish of all superheros.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)

Good morning. Absolutely nothing to say again.
I am a shit biscuit. Lol.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:34, archived)

But the shit biscuit is really a nice biscuit.
AM I DOING IT RITE GONZ?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:36, archived)

But Nice biscuits are shit bm.
I'm a chocolate and hazelnut biscotti
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:37, archived)

In a way, we're all biscuits, blue star. We're all biscuits.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:38, archived)

Apart from jaffa cakes, we've established this.

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:39, archived)

Yes.
I got told this yesterday when I claimed to be a Jaffa Cake.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:42, archived)

I'm not sure it's that important in this context to be honest.
In fact, the only time the precise definition of a jaffa cake is significant is when it has to go to court for tax reasons. Or when someone is being a prick about it. Just before they go on to insist one pronunkiation of scone is superior to the other. Fucking pricks.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:44, archived)

Fuck it. the type of biscuit I'm going to be today is an eccles cake.
And if anyprick has a fucking problem with that I'llhunt them down and smash their stupid prick teeth up their fucking cunt.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:47, archived)

It's clearly pronounced 'scone'
People who say 'scone' are the real fucking pricks.
(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:48, archived)

Go shove a fortune cookie up your tits.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:54, archived)

There is one pronounciation of scone that is clearly superior
and that is when you pronounce it to sound like a formula one car racing past and exploding
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:51, archived)

this has my full support
when i am mod i will enforce this pronounciation of scone.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:52, archived)

IT'S BISCOTTI

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:01, archived)

Just because you are Jeremy Vine from the British BBC Corporation,
don't think you are safe from my violent justice.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:05, archived)

I thought they were dry and rubbish?

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:48, archived)

I like Jaffa cakes best when the plastic wrapping has been violated and they've gone a bit sort of stale.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:51, archived)

There are alleged jaffa cakes here in the supermarket.
There are three flavours - orange, strawberry and blueberry. Except they stopped selling the orange ones.
(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:53, archived)

Are you MADE OF WRONGNESS The LOVELY Ess Ess Ess?
Have some pandering anyway you Jaffafail.
*Panders*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:54, archived)

I love them, it's Druid that thinks that
See? www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=jaffa+cakes+are+dry+and+rubbish
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:02, archived)

Sickening
www.b3ta.com/talk/6075711
(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:04, archived)

So much WRONGNESS in just one thread The LOVELY Zouwan.
:(
I'm glad that Eely took notes though, so we'll know just who to send for "Re-education".
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:08, archived)

Phwew. For a minute there I was afraid I might have to strike you off the List Of Panderable b3tans.
:D
*MORE PANDERING*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:05, archived)

Why did you not just say you were a Ginger Snap The VIOLENTLY LOVELY Gingezilla?
'Ning.
*Panders*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:00, archived)

Haha.
On twitter yesterday and today there's a hashtag which is #describeyourvaginawithamovietitle. I used Ginger Snaps on there. And Blood Feast. And Easy Rider.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:07, archived)

:/

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:09, archived)

Blood Feast was a triumph.
I toyed with Tokyo Gore Police...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:12, archived)

Basket Case.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:16, archived)

Labyrinth.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:19, archived)

What Lies Beneath

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:23, archived)

Dark Water.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:27, archived)

The Abyss

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:35, archived)

Mrs Doubtfire

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:36, archived)

Sleepy Hollow

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:42, archived)

Backdraft.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:44, archived)

Dude, Where's My Car?

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:45, archived)

The Blob

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:48, archived)

anywhich way and loose

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)

Dunston Checks In

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:56, archived)

Red River

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:57, archived)

Carry on up the Kaiber

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:58, archived)

Beetlejuice.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:16, archived)

Hahahaha

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:51, archived)

My Bloody Valentine.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

Goblet of Fire.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:12, archived)

Good one The LOVELY Jaction.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:15, archived)

Ha. Noit suggested Hot Fuzz

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

alright blue star
I've got to go to Canterbury soon for a meeting and will in no way be using this as an excuse to visit the awesome comic book shop they have there.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:28, archived)

Alright JA
that sounds ace. I've nothing to do except daydream and drink tea. RESULT.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:44, archived)

funnily enough I watched "Dark Passage" last night.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:29, archived)

Love that film.
I take it all back about scones.
(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:30, archived)

Dark Passage sounds more like a bum-poke than a fanny.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:37, archived)

I guess you couldn't go for No Country For Old Men.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:48, archived)

Open Season?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:49, archived)

The end of the Shawshank Redemption is a kind of visual metaphor for blue star's cunt.
Does that count?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)

There Will Be Blood.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0041389/
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0445953/
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:55, archived)

FINE
www.imdb.com/title/tt0052655/
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:56, archived)

If we're Roger Cormanning:
Little Shop Of Horrors
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:59, archived)

Carry On Screaming

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:51, archived)

how green was my valley

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:01, archived)

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:02, archived)

12 Angry Men

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:03, archived)

who's afraid of vagina woolf

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:55, archived)

Panic Womb

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:57, archived)

Pootangeist

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)

big trouble in little vagina

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:59, archived)

womb with a view

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:05, archived)

wombterworld

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)

Chocolate Star Wars

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:14, archived)

There are LOADS in the IMDB top 250:
City of God (2002)
Rear Window (1954)
Sunset Boulevard (1950)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Alien (1979)
Paths of Glory (1957)
The Prestige (2006)
The Green Mile (1999)
Raging Bull (1980)
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
The Apartment (1960)
Metropolis (1927)
Downfall (2004)
Up (2009)
Sin City (2005)
The Seventh Seal (1957)
Hotel Rwanda (2004)
Jaws (1975)
Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
Snatch. (2000)
There Will Be Blood (2007)
Notorious (1946)
The Terminator (1984)
The Thing (1982)
Let the Right One In (2008)
Mystic River (2003)
Big Fish (2003)
Howl's Moving Castle (2004)
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)

You know, some are more ropey than others, but once you start playing this game, 50% of film titles are euphemisms for cunts.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)

I might go back and limit that the the ten or so I like.
In fact, I will.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:22, archived)

There.
I'll leave it at that.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:25, archived)

I think Hotel Rwanda is my favourite.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:27, archived)

LOL REPLYING TO YOURSELF IS WAKI

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:27, archived)

no it isn't

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:33, archived)

yes it is

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:34, archived)

LOL!

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:34, archived)

this is because of the freudian underpinnings of cinema, there is probably an MPhil in this, hmm, the penetrative projector, the cinema curtains that part to reveal the world within, the obligatory switching off of the lights...
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:31, archived)

Fuck me.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)

this is very slightly beyond my remit
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)

Shortbread FTMFW
'Ning The LOVELY Gingezila.
*Panders*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:50, archived)

Let's create Un Platter Pour Dieu De Biscuits in our IMAGINATIONS.
Shortbread, yes. I'd like a couple of fig rolls too, please.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:57, archived)

fig rolls? pig strolls?
Only if I can have white chocolate chip cookies
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:58, archived)

And a Golden Orient.
Because there's got to be something there that absolutely nobody will eat.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:59, archived)

Viscount

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:13, archived)

Shortbread is old man biscuitry
Alright stuj?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:04, archived)

Aye ta. A lot happier than I was yesterday, what with now knowing that I'm certainly going to Sonisphere.
And you can't beat a bit of FULL BUTTER shortbread.
:D
*Olds it up a bit*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:12, archived)

I agree.
Hole hartedly.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:17, archived)

I love shortbread.
Fuck you you cunt.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:13, archived)

you are a rich tea biscuit

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:41, archived)

So is your face.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:45, archived)

old people do love it

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:00, archived)

hey baldmonkey
Any luck finding a suit? I had an idea. I don't know where you live, but near me is a vintage clothing store that only stocks American vintage stuff, mostly old leather jackets and such, but they do also do suits, and being from an American supplier there are quite often suits for the more husky gentleman. These shops are not uncommon and are often called uncle Sam's or one in pompey called one legged donkey.

Biscuit lol woop woop I'm a fucking bourbon you racist. Lol x
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:45, archived)

Hey! That's cool man.
I was thinking of popping to one of the One Legged Jockey stores this weekend. Or next weekend. One or the other.
Do I take it you are a Portsmouth too? Hello.
I'm going to trawl the charity shops in Fareham at lunch time.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:50, archived)

i lived in portsmouth a couple of years ago
I miss living by the sea, I don't miss living in Southsea. I think pinstripes are the way forward, and a fancy watch chain you can spin as you stroll along.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:55, archived)

And a Pimp Hat. Yes.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:58, archived)

and snakeskin/leopard print brothel creepers.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:59, archived)

And a silver tipped cane.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:04, archived)

i think we should have our own fashion show on the BBC

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:07, archived)

YEAH!
We'll call it Pimp My Pimp.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:13, archived)

we'll need two voiceover actors
one for the before shots when they are trampy losers, maybe a sympathetic lady. then the most over excited man in the world for the pimpy reveal. Any suggestions welcome.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:22, archived)

POCKET WATCH!
YOU FUCKING GENIUS.
So how far away have you moved?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:03, archived)

oxford
It's nice here, I have a house on the canal. I own sandbags, for floods, but also to sit on in the shed. I want to buy a boat, but they are lots of money. I sometimes go to Portsmouth to go sailing.

Pocket watches are a big responsibility, you have to wind them regularly.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:06, archived)

Portsmouth is a shit hole.
I want to move away. But it is also home, so I don't.
If I was minted I'd move to Fowey. And move my parents with me.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:16, archived)

but...but...but
Spinacre tower and Gunwharf keys has transformed the town in the vibrant modern metropolis we all know it to be.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:19, archived)

I like Portsmouth
been a few times, but then again I like all seaside. I even like Cleethorpes and that's a massive pile of pants.
(

jenpots, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:26, archived)

I miss the tricorn.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:26, archived)

World's largest Laser Quest
That was a thing to be proud of, not a poncey fucking tower and an all you can eat chinese buffet.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:30, archived)

I went to that laser quest a couple of times.
It was shit because there were a bunch of pricks who spent all day every day in there, taking it all far too seriously and ruining it for everyone else.
It would be better nowadays. Since they opened a Games Workshop round the corner. And invented WoW.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:47, archived)

Yeah but you do it so well The AWESOME Bee Emm.
*Manders*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:48, archived)

I might make a setupbeatpuke then have a shit.
Or the other way around, the TOTALITARIANALLY BRILLO stuj.
*body slams*
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:00, archived)

Still championing the Oreos over here
Morning
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:21, archived)

Prick.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

i recently discovered double cream Oreo's
I think this is a step forward in race relations as it balances up the amount of each ingredient. Are you a racist?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:26, archived)

My favourite Oreos are the ones covered in white chocolate
Bite each end and then drink some tea through it. Best bit of race relations I've encountered, that's for sure.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:38, archived)

I have never eaten Oreos
They don't grab me as an exciting biscuit.
(

jenpots, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:28, archived)

I felt similarly until I tried it.

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:40, archived)

They are as you suspected
In common with a load of American confectionery they are powdery, over sweet shite.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:48, archived)

Oreos are what Custard Creams have wet dreams about.

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:01, archived)

I despise you

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:03, archived)

I mean come on, nobody would ever think ginger-creams, custard creams or any other kind of boring british cream-filled nancy-biscuit
would merit being covered in chocolate and sold en masse.
*puts on hard hat and dives for cover*
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:05, archived)

You are the worst kind of fool

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:05, archived)

What's the best kind of fool?

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:06, archived)

Rhubarb Fool, clearly.

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:07, archived)

Frozen Yoghurt > Rhubarb Fool

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)

One who doesn't know he's a fool
A thicky, if you will.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)

You are correct as always the LOVELIEST DEADLIEST Jenpots.
*Panders*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:11, archived)

last time you tried this you didn't even know what shape oreos were

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:35, archived)

Sure I do
They're like this but they can also be like this
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)

The last biscuit in the barrel
It’s broken all to bits
The other biscuits made it out
The jammie little shits
But this last biscuit lies within
A deep drift of stale crumbs
No humans come to rescue it
With their opposable thumbs
(and no cats either, I’ve no doubt
You’re more than well aware
They have no thumbs to lift the lid
And also do not care)
It dreams of what it hopes will soon
Suffuse its life with glee
The day when it gets lifted out
And dipped into some tea
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:52, archived)

He should go join my grandma's biscuit barrel,
he won't be lonely with all those old-timers telling him their tales about life in the 1940s.
(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:09, archived)

I'm still not very well

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:28, archived)

malingerer

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)

Yes.
Another year has come around and I'm finally able to get out my morning suit. IT'S ASCOT, BABY. I'm going to win a fucking fortune.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:38, archived)

i hope you win a million pounds
and drown in it
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:43, archived)

Fuck that, I've managed to persuade colleagues to swap shifts with me.
SONISPHERE HERE I COME!
:D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:48, archived)

*Outside in the rain fives*

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:54, archived)

NO!
It's going to be LOVELY AND SUNNY with a NICE BREEZE to keep me cool.
OR ELSE.
*Download Sunday GLARES*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:56, archived)

hold on, where is the unsubscribe link for this blog?

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:09, archived)

I haven't had any breakfast yet.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:16, archived)

Same here. And the shop downstairs doesn't do bacon butties any more.
:(
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:18, archived)

I'm quite ill

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:19, archived)

i hope everyone involved in this thread dies before sundown

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:20, archived)

Let's start with that terrible bully, mongychops.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:26, archived)

Poor The LOVELY Theoban.
:(
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:27, archived)

I bet you'd love to meet a scot in your birthday suit
a big red haired one in a kilt, you'd love to get your hands on that filthy sporran you little perv
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:21, archived)

No ginges.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:28, archived)

HURRAH!
*Anti-Ginge Axis Fives*
:D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:47, archived)

what colour horse will you be betting on?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:27, archived)

Bay, most likely.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:28, archived)

Phwoar, there's a Facel Vega up for sale
what would you spunk a load of money on?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 5:58, archived)

Nice car but not really to my taste...
A DOS attack on Mortal Wombat's ISP would be worth spending a few quid on!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 6:08, archived)

Phone up the Lulz group and see if they'll take the job on

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 6:10, archived)

I see that they are squaring up to Anonymous...
Which should be quite interesting in a geek fight kind of way!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 6:15, archived)

'What's it to be then? Quake Arena or Whiteheads at Ten Paces?'

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 6:54, archived)

it's ddos
u ignorant.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:01, archived)

it can be either
u dickwad
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:16, archived)

FUCK YOU!!!

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:17, archived)

Shouty shouty
No need for noise at this time of the day.
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:22, archived)

raaawr rumble groaaar

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:24, archived)

If I had the money I would buy a Lotus Exige.
Since I'm not made of money I've been saving up for a Lotus 7 kit car.
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 6:43, archived)

Cars are boring, Grrrmachine.

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 6:54, archived)

i agree

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:00, archived)

fuck.
(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:03, archived)

sorry

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:04, archived)

children can't drive

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:33, archived)

bit of an over generalisation there

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:43, archived)

Secret volcano base.
Or a Tiger Tank.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:49, archived)

www.foxnews.com/slideshow/leisure/2011/06/14/transparent-pontiac-to-appear-at-auction/#slide=1
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:22, archived)

Friday
well tomorrow is Friday. Which means I have to pick up my friend Rebecca on the way to work. I hope she doesn't ask which seat should she take.... Or she will get a punch in the cooch
(rizzivision, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:11, archived)

why?

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:11, archived)

why would you punch a friend anywhere over asking a question about which seat to sit in?
what are you, some kind of neanderthal
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:12, archived)

She's 13, it's a power thing, I'm sure you can understand.

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:14, archived)

no, not really.

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:15, archived)

shotgun
that is the only seat anyone should take in a car. If taken. Then just the next closest seat too you! But when she asks the question she says it in that annoying Rebecca black voice... Grrr!
(rizzivision, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:15, archived)

given the choice i'd take a seat in any passing strangers car instead of yours
if i were her
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:16, archived)

assuming she has a choice here
possibly assuming too much
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:17, archived)

Hilarious admission of paedophilia.

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:14, archived)

i don't understand the internet anymore
i might go outside for a while
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 2:15, archived)

Oh...
It's you again. Prick!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 3:03, archived)

How nice.

(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:04, archived)

may I recommend a preemptive strike?

or you could run her over with your car, just saying
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:08, archived)

ahhhahhhah so one of the /lunks posters died recently
today it's wall to wall shitty house music

laugh, I could shit
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:11, archived)

Yeah, it's fair enough, if I die I expect everyone on /talk to make shit jokes about it all day.

(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:22, archived)

this

(

FIEND, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:23, archived)

b3ta: laughing at the misfortunes of strangers, but one fuckwit dies and it's let's have a bit of cry and hold hands and sing kum bay fucking ah

sorry I mean "for every fuckwit who dies"
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:29, archived)

*massive click*

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:03, archived)

cl pr
(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 7:10, archived)

it's what he would've wanted!

that Rapitinui, what a colossal prick, may he rot in hell
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:27, archived)

of course, I fully expect to die alone, and cats will eat my face.

nobody here will even know.
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:29, archived)

maybe I should put that in my will, get somebody to take a picture and post it here

trollin from BEYOND THE GRAVE
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:31, archived)

"Would you like to be buried, cremated or preserved in plastic, playing pretend tennis with half your forearm cut off for wankers to coo at?"
"No, none of those, I'd like to be eaten by cats, also someone should take a picture and post it on a non-image-based internet messageboard"
(

Zuowan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:35, archived)

I guess I meant on the main board, maybe some TOAP, like a picture of what's left of my face with "I R CHEEZBURGER" written across it

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:39, archived)

oh shit I just realised what you're referring to, you will get a punch in the cooch for this for sure

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 4:20, archived)

I'm off to bed.
Classic banter on here. Great times!
Had some great discussions. Night all!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:07, archived)

Goodnight Jamg

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:08, archived)

Fair dos.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:11, archived)

yeah, fuck off

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:15, archived)

See?
Cunt waits to get mentioned, then pipes up, probably calls you a nonce, waits for badger to say something similar, then says it again. Still called Brian though. Can you imagine?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:36, archived)

i try not to, it gives me a headache

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:40, archived)

Oh man, I love you.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:46, archived)

it's getting late.
how do you intend to keep the vampires out tonight?
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:54, archived)

apparently if you spread salt over a vampire's grave they'll be compelled to count every last grain when they rise, because they're ocd or something
i bet they have aspergers and all sorts of anxiety disorders too, you could probably keep them away by inviting them to big party with people they don't know
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:02, archived)

Or give them a pen and paper and a picture of York minster to copy

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:04, archived)

I'll not be sleeping due the the big fecking spider I found in my bed just now
Because you know that thing they say about things laying eggs in your eyes and nose? It's true.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:03, archived)

you know the story about how you accidentally eat 8 spiders in your sleep over a lifetime? it's actually 8 spiders a night

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:04, archived)

I know
:(((((
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:07, archived)

Or perhaps, catch it and throw it out the window.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:10, archived)

Fuck that
Cunt'll come back with his mates
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:29, archived)

english house spiders are not only the fastest running spiders in the world
they also come back intot he house when you put them outside, they like living in houses, hence why they're called house spiders.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:33, archived)

It's a spider not a gang.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:45, archived)

i thought you had me on ignore?

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:15, archived)

Well that solves the eternal mystery of who gives a fuck.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:16, archived)

*runs off crying*

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:17, archived)

Why?
I don't ignore anyone. I just let the autisms like JMG and Dekion think I do. Gives them a little frisson.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:18, archived)

oh, my mistake it was broadsword

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:25, archived)

*ignores*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:29, archived)

*runs off crying*

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:30, archived)

enough of that lovely man
tell me what game ideas you have?

I think EA should release desert strike: libya
(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)

Pun War

(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:18, archived)

Pun War II: Call of Modern Puns

(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)

Puns on the Run

(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)

Pippa Funnel's Stud Farm for the wii
with realistic waggling action
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)

I'm going to watch Two Pints now

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)

Oh Bogus :-(

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)

I used to like it
And Game On
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:23, archived)

game on yes
two pints no :(
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:25, archived)

They're talking about wanking
lol
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:28, archived)

that sheridan one is fiiiiiit,
shame she's had james cordon up er
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

Remember that one where she was dressed in a pasty bikini?
Oh man, I was like all LOL
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)

i remember the one where toady off neighbours' mate was on it

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

Yeah
Now!!!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)

Oh yeah, he always reminds me of Malchick.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 1:16, archived)

This ^

(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)

don't go, I'm logging out now
(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:22, archived)

is this like one of those games at the seasidewhere you have to hold onto the handles
for as long as you can while it electrocutes you?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:26, archived)

Did you go to Abu Ghraib in the six week holidays?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)

You absolutely cannot mock my hair any more
You utter, utter spazzmo
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:26, archived)

I like your hair
:(((
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:28, archived)

You said it was a hat, you heartless bastard :((((((((((((((((((
I'M CRYING INTO MY CAKE NOW
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

It is a hat in so much as it's on your head
Like hair
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

You've still got shit taste in telly

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)

You can call me Daddy now if you like

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:42, archived)

You're not my real Dad. He's got ace taste in telly
And a collection of Robots.
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:44, archived)

Robots you say? Tell me more

(wimbley is feeling hungover, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)

Tin clockwork ones mostly, and a big Robbie from Forbidden Planet
He also has a train set in the loft that runs the entire span of the house. He's ace.
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:51, archived)

Fantastic, he sounds brilliant.

(wimbley is feeling hungover, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)

That he is

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)

Yeah, but he can't do this
*does something*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)

Thats just touching yourself. Again.

(wimbley is feeling hungover, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)

Yeah he can. You're shit.
Stop being shit, Bogus
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)

Aw man
Them's my best moves
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:55, archived)

Wuv you really. You're my favourite creepy uncle xx

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)

*hair sniff*
Do you want me to tuck you in? Our little secret?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)

You're not going to read me Little Red Riding Hood again are you?
:/
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)

Our
Little
Ssssssssssssseeeeeeeeecrettttttttt
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:05, archived)

I am actually going to bed now
I'm sufficiently creeped out. Creeper.
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)

I might have a wank

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:10, archived)

But your hair is awesome.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

Have you seen it? :/

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)

Not for a few years, it was all long and black and sexy.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)

Short now

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:53, archived)

*Toasts its sacrifice with a beer*
Mine's finally starting to get longer, and since it has, I got a job and money and luck. I'm like Samson or something.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)

glad to hear the job is holding good

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)

I'm watching Forrest Gump again.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:26, archived)

I managed five minutes of that
Then I shat on my feet and poked a stick in it
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)

You're such a fucking MISERY.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)

It is a shitty twee movie though.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

No
I'm not a mong
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

the greatest thing about that film is that you have to be a bit forrest gump to enjoy it

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

yeah but I bet you shout 'Run, Forrest, run!' when people are running up the platform for your train.

(

spesh., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)

No
I shut the doors early then point at my watch when we're pulling out
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)

that is how i do sex

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)

fuck off back to /qotw with your 'i've had sex' internet lies

(

spesh., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)

What with?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)

i'll be honest, the last time i had sex
we were both really drunk, she took me back to hers and we both passed out, i woke up on top of her with my semi erect member just about in her, spunk dribbling down the side into clumps of sweaty pubic hair.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:13, archived)

What happened next?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:19, archived)

i dunno, i probably did something in a brand of car i dunno can't remember

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:59, archived)

Again?
You managed to sit through it once and still want to watch it again?
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:03, archived)

I used to watch that.
It passed the time.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

And that is what it was for

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)

Pun War III: Total Puns

(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)

monkey tennis

(

spesh., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:23, archived)

Puntal Kombat

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:24, archived)

Punic the hedgehog

(

spesh., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:25, archived)

Puntem Shock 2.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)

Handsworth riots

(wimbley is feeling hungover, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)

the punts

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)

Punkey Kong

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)

Xenon 2: Punablast

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)

That new Lynx 48 Hour deoderant means I only need to wash on Mondays, Wednsedays and Fridays

(

Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)

You should try mitchum dry.
It lasts 48h but you don't smell like a teenager.
(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)

i have that too, lets be deoderant buddies

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 0:54, archived)

dessert strike: no pies

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:53, archived)

fuck that cunt
people on here used to be up to scratch, pitch me your uk sitcom ideas, we can all join in the padding
(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:33, archived)

afgan sitcom could work

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:35, archived)

The story of 3 renegade BNP members who have decided to become a terrorist cell and bomb strategic targets.
Like Kebab shops and corner shops.
But they are a bunch of useless drooling morons and fuck everything up... with hilarious consequences.
Needs a name.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:37, archived)

why are you having a go at the british? bit harsh, racist even

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:39, archived)

I'm an utter cunt of epic proportions.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)

i heard that, but then that was from northeners, most scotish people down here sleep in tube stations

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:42, archived)

Scottish.
*glares*
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:44, archived)

Few survive the winter.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:57, archived)

i don't watch tv.
sorry about that
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:38, archived)

i'm not sure u

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:39, archived)

i'm not sure i asked, thanks tho

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:39, archived)

haha, it sort of posted twice, what a night

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)

Makes it look bu

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)

crazy

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)

Makes it look busier.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)

Hugh Heffner dies and for some unknown reason leaves the Playboy mansion and all the women to our very own Gonz.
It's called 'GonzOHNOICANTBELIEVEIMINCHARGEOFTHEPLAYBOYMANSION!'.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:39, archived)

bit harsh on gonz, lt to deal with there, not sure i;'d watch carcrash sitcom

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)

The bookkeeping is already hired out, it's fine.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:51, archived)

dentist's families are always funny, how about a dentist and their family
(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)

A man abandons his wife and kids and leaves the country to hide out on the Costa Del Sol
Little does he know, next door is his in-laws holiday home.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)

i like this, but it need to be a crim fleeing, but still noit you are a wanker on fire you little pissant cunt

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:45, archived)

What have I done?
I haven't even had a wank on fire.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:47, archived)

it's good, shut up you cunt

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:49, archived)

Question of the Weekend
I don't know the plot you'll have to think of that yourself
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)

six friends move into a loft apartment, none of them have proper jobs but it doesn't matter because they have great hair, the apartment is haunted by the ghost of its previous owner, a small jewish widow
(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:42, archived)

oh vlad, do one lo l loloollololololololl eh

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:47, archived)

Ray Tower and his wife move out of the countryside and into the capital, whilst keeping their charming country ways.
It's called "The Towers of London"
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:44, archived)

shite, you got high praise up there

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:46, archived)

Three good blokes meet each other in the pub to talk entertaining bollocks for a while before leaveing at a sensible hour to get up for work the next day.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:44, archived)

Two soldiers with PTSD share a flat and feed off each other's growing paranoia.
In the series finale they invade the old folks home across the road and gun down two pensioners, believing them to be terrorists. Their next door neighbour is overweight.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:47, archived)

fuck off, it is like some simoin pegg shit

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:48, archived)

A massive English racist gets an eye transplant after getting dog wee in them
They came from an illegal immigrant killed in a fall from the wheel arch of a chilled goods wagon at Dover. With hilarious consequences.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)

Three coppers decide to go bent after accidentally killing a drug dealer and finding a massive pile of cash in his flat.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)

A man takes a day off work to wait for DFS to deliver his sofa
they don't turn up when expected, then ring to say they will deliver the sofa at 6. He would have been back from work by then anyway!

Hilarious.

I'm sure that this premise could be stretched out over a series
(subatomicelephant Fun Times, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)

A dowdy housewife decides to double up her house as a brothel whilst her husband is out at work.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)

The manager of a casino runs up massive debts and decides to start fixing the tables to claw it back.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)

you are good at this you know, we should write a sit com, or make a shit youtube video and post it here like cunts

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:56, archived)

I think I've run dry now, but if you turn any of these into ratings hits I want 50%

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:58, archived)

cor you are like alan sugar
a right nbody cunt
(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:02, archived)

A modern-day feminist with massive knockers wakes up in the 1950s and struggles with day-to-day life in a sexist society.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:57, archived)

a wheelchair bound person travels back in time
before wheelchair ramps existed and the japes that ensue.
(

FIEND, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:01, archived)

One Foot in the World of Warcraft
(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:04, archived)

Only When I Log Out
(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:05, archived)

start your own pun thread

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:08, archived)

till the black screen of death do us part
(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)

A hapless fisherman spends his quiet time lakeside on online dating sites
It's called Love On Line
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:05, archived)

We've got casualty, holby city and doctors
what we really need is a programme covering community healthcare.

Think of the lols we could have with podiatrists filing people's feet and district nurses cleaning up old people's shit!
(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)

Episode 13 The wrong catheter tube
Mollys catheter won't drain properly, and despite her sons repeated concerned phone calls the district nurse team can't be fucked with a home visit to re-insert because it's gone quarter to five. In the early morning Mollys bladder ruptures due to fluid retention, and she dies on the way to hospital.
(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)

sitcoms are a dead genre

(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)

come on, roll call
what is pissing you grumpy cunts off today?
(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)

B78
Weather: Dry now
Fuck: This
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)

i just got badly zinged

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:07, archived)

i think these days you can chevron at 10

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)

yeah

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)

Really

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

harsh times

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

Zinged: Badly
Do you remember when tfs used to do this on here until you bullied him off the board. Until you bullied a grown man off an internet forum.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)

cheers man

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

i dig it

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

big time

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)

zinged

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)

job done

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)

Boom

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:17, archived)

WILLIES

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:18, archived)

SHIT

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:18, archived)

PISS

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:18, archived)

You not coming back in man?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)

10 man, forums are dead, damn you social networks

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)

i miss newsgroups

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)

hind sight baffles me why msn didn't jump on the network thing

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)

still, i cant belive butter

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)

i should go to sleep

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:23, archived)

i do love a chevron tho

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:23, archived)

bounce

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:23, archived)

yeah

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)

total

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:25, archived)

turn around

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)

bright eyes

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:25, archived)

Good shit man.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)

k

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)

every now and then i fall apart

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)

<-----

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)

ooff

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)

get it

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)

Look at this graveyard.
b3ta.com/talk/5895616
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)

Mods are asleep, lets post scat

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:11, archived)

binned

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:14, archived)

He was a man?
I always assumed he was some kind of special-needs spambot.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)

Go easy on him, his bar bill was over a grand, ok.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:14, archived)

Feels good

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)

jelly

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:14, archived)

yiffers

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)

Tell me a joke

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)

a teacher asks a pupil 'where is pakistan?'
and a boy says, ' i have no idea, we are all from banga town in this school and i'm not sure we know stan'
(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:17, archived)

Dundalk
Mainly clear with a light spattering of cloud.
Absolutely nothing mongy, I went to work, did me graft and am now home and know I can unwind and get some killer sleep tonight.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:16, archived)

I'm top notch Mongy
Or I was until the bird turned up with a cob on about her daughter being rubbish or something. Whatever it was I'm not arsed and she fucked off again. Well done me.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:17, archived)

have you tried not being oop north? no offence

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:19, archived)

I went south a couple of weeks ago
It cost too much to be honest and the water has bits in it. No offence
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)

shit weather, being owed money, shit weather, TV these days, general boredom, shit weather
(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:20, archived)

Nothing at all mongy, all is well in Gvpvczjppcl Towers.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)

nice one, i suppose, yeah

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:29, archived)

Shit got reel

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)

shit just needs rod then

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:28, archived)

shit should know its plaice

(

vladimir, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:30, archived)

I can't seem to shake off this illness
still feel weak and shitty 4 weeks after getting it. I'm going to make a doctors appointment tomorrow see if he can hook me up with MA55IvE DruGs
(

magnum, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:28, archived)

you don't get rid of FULL BLOWN AIDS
look how funny that is, i took a serious condition, implied you had it, and yet people laughed, is that right? but my aunt, bbc2 eh, go ome, but you aids, bbc2 2, eh
(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 22:31, archived)

What I dont get is that it seems approx 7-10k to smuggle yourself to the UK
No matter where you are in the world!
(

SoBadItsGood Its only a crime if you earn <£100000, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:09, archived)

Haha yeah great

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:10, archived)

going on strike badger?

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:15, archived)

Working to rule.
Patient safety, professional ethics and all that shit.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:18, archived)

hold on
'beep beep beeep'
back that truck up

you are a cunt
(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:20, archived)

DHL are very efficient

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

you love the germans
my mate works for dhl, owner driver, 4k a month, sort your own tax out, any kids want an in, be a pakistani from the east end
(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:19, archived)

if you have 7k, hello go to the rural areas and buy 7k's worth of heroin and flog it in kabul, dont they teach kids anything in school these days!
(

SoBadItsGood Its only a crime if you earn <£100000, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:35, archived)

i cant be arsed with you, be fair, i'm right aint i? yeah, l8trs

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:40, archived)

Motherfuckin' carrots
motherfucker
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

careful now,
I heard carrots make you ginger.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:19, archived)

I've never seen a ginger rabbit

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:31, archived)

www.google.com/search?q=ginger+rabbit&hl=en&safe=off&prmd=ivns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=b2n6Te2wGIKKhQemrPyEAw&ved=0CBgQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=575
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:37, archived)

Hahaha that reminds me of this
www.b3ta.com/board/10451963
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:19, archived)

i dont get it, no offence

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:21, archived)

You have to have seen fight club, really.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:23, archived)

Perhaps the people smuggling trade is a cartel that fixes prices worldwide?

(

magnum, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)

It needs to be open to fair competiton - like the airways,

I mean ryan-air pretty much operates like a people smuggling operation as it is adding lots of added costs!
(

SoBadItsGood Its only a crime if you earn <£100000, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:31, archived)

Can you stop trying out your shit stand-up routine on here please piston.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)

this cunt is hit isn't it, i knew this would happen, i wish /talk just go pulled without these cunts coming here, i belive i saw a pretend spastic before, bad forum

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:36, archived)

There's a fucking yiffer on /board man we need a genocide.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:39, archived)

link me up girls with cup, i aint having that

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:41, archived)

I think he's gone now.
www.b3ta.com/board/10451816

BUT MAN IF HE COMES BACK I'M SO NOT GOING TO BE ALL /BOARDY ON HIM.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:45, archived)

yik

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:49, archived)

i just found a valve cap on my laptop keyboard.
a valve cap. my laptop is on my bed and i haven't even left the house today, so how the FUCK has a valve cap arrived there?
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:18, archived)

Were you Mnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh?
I can't remember.
(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:22, archived)

that's not relevant

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)

irrelevancy on b3ta?
NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_{oooooooooooooo_{oooooooooo_{ooooooooooooooooo}}}
(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)

..................
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)

Reverse Borrowers, little shits they are

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)

this seems most likley

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)

Especially when they leave software company-branded headgear laying around

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:46, archived)

Why don't you ever seem to leave the house?

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:24, archived)

i heard there's aids outside

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)

That's a pretty shit state of affairs, does your mum not wish for you to at least make some kind of effort, even if it's just to go to the library to read the beano

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)

i don't like the beano
you don't know me AT ALL! i hate you!
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)

Just seen your online breakdown on QOTW.
I thought you were better than that.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:21, archived)

it was on the bike of the child you abuducted and molested

(

moohalaa, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)

Two quarter pound burgers
each with maple smoked British bacons and a fried egg, since you asked.
(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)

I think everyone should "like" my post in /links.
So it can get on the newsletter and I can be a god amongst men.
I've never gotten over my newslettered video that I accidentally posted from a comedy account.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)

I'm not going to /links, I've heard they're all bummers and I'll get bummed up the bum if I do.

(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)

www.b3ta.com/links/vote.php?id=641747&verify_code=944088279
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)

Done.
Thank you.
(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:44, archived)

I didn't read that properly so I feel like I was cheated into that vote.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)

It's ok, I don't think it counts
as the verify code is individual to the user.
(

CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

much as i like this forum and all that, maffers you are investing too much emotion in it, no offence

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)

change your name to friz
insta-clicks
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)

Perhaps you sneezed and it fell out of your nose.
Or it might be a disabled child's, y'know, the one you molested.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)

Is there a wheel attached to it?

(

Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)

you know what mw, i think my nan has pulled through, this is great news, she aint right, but she aint dead, great stuff

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:46, archived)

Good to know.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)

it has given me a buzz of happy you seldom get, good old nan, still going the extra mile

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)

I know what you mean.]

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

It's probably the same way the bloke in Fight Club wakes up with cuts and bruises and has no recollection of getting them.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:01, archived)

why is that then?

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:03, archived)

I don't want to spoil the film but it turns out rosebud was his childhood sled.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)

no worries, i'm not into that type of thing, no offence

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)

Oh none taken.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:09, archived)

what would Adam Fielding think of this I wonder?
lol x
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:03, archived)

JESUS
www.b3ta.com/board/10451816
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)

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