b3ta.com talk

Home » Talk » Archive 11557 (Older | Newer)

If you were a mutant
What would your mutant power be?

I'd be able to command bees
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

Break mirrors

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

You can do that already because you're so ugly.
Ha!
(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

:_(

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

I only say these things because it's the only way I can express my true feeling.

:*(
(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

ha ha, that asci face looks like Frank Ribery.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

earlier on, when i asked if i'd ever met you. it was a genuine question!
i've met lots of internet people. it may have been back in the day before i found out that you're a nice chap.
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

If it helps, I've never met you.
I've been told I should though.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

hood butter bash!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

He pawed me with his great sweaty hands when I met him :(

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

i've never met you either
come to the HBB

we'll make this dream a reality
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

Maybe, baby!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Let's gang up on him.
Like the old triumverate days.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

Yeah!

(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

*punches otter*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

I'm doing this for your own good.

(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

FUCK FACE.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

~~FACE~~ A DEAD DOG
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

YEAH.
THE FUCKING OTTER LIKING SHIT SACK. HE IS THE BIGGEST PRICK I EVER MET AND HIS FIANCEE IS A FUCKING SLAG AND HE LIKES THE FUCKING BEE GEES.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

I'd be able to have a pool.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

l.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

+ l

Take your time over that.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

MINTY.
TITS.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

halve a poo
lols
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

oh
i hoped it was have a Polo
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

~~have a pool~~ record a decent Podcast
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

To be able to mince at the speed of sound

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

GRANTED!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

We've had this one this week.
I'd like Sylar's power of knowing how everything works just by looking at it.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

What would happen if you looked at Moongirl?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

I'd know how she works,
surely.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Wouldn't the world be so boring if you knew how everything worked?
All the mystery would be gone.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

Not really.
There'd still be things you don't understand.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Mind control, or adamantium claws, or the ability to freeze stuff.
Argh, I can't decide.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

I read that as 'administration claws'

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Yeah, I could ADMINISTRATE THE FUCK OUT OF SHIT.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

adamantium claws?
Wolverine's real power is rapid healing. If you just had the claws you'd get terrible scarring.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Whatever.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

quick reply

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Yes

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

semantic difference, but meh.
~~healing~~ regeneration
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Yeah,
I couldn't think of the correct word (brain's fried). You're right, in the nerd sense they're different powers.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

No you wouldn't
Only if they're retractable, and she didn't say that.

or if she used them on herself....
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

powerful hearing

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

That'd be like having to read b3ta 24 hours a day
you'd constantly be hearing people talk utter drivel.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

i thought this was just a continuation of taking the piss out of sammi, i was alluding to the fact that me being able to hear would make me a better mutant than her
do you think i've got the wrong end of the stick, if so, sorry mykey, no offence
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

I didnt know she was deaf
yes we are still taking the piss out of her.

I suspect she is now drowning kittens in her pool out of rage.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

phew, i'd hate to cause mykey or your good self offence
great times
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

LOLCANCER

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

:(((
www.b3ta.com/talk/6202494
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

Is he dead yet?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

he won't die, he's a fighter, he'll get over this, he is strong and brave, and lovely

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

*creeps up next to you*
HEEEEELLO MONGY!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Getting more hearing is scary
My hearing appears to have increased so much so that I've gone whole days before realising I've left my hearing aid at home, and being woken up by people on a morning.

I don't like it.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

blimey
is this due to a new treatment?
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

Nope
It was after an ear infection healed up (on its own).
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

hurrah for your immune system!
buy it a drink
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

Control other people's bodily functions.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

Being Alex Mack
basically being able to change my shape.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

How about that

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

that what?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Is it alright to crack one out to her now?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Probably.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

Yes, she's 27

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

Depends if you're still wanking over pics of her as Alex Mack.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

Uh, maybe
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Mack
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

Her?
www.kinoweb.de/film99/10ThingsIHateAboutYou/pix/tenthb6.jpg
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

The bendy, stretchy one out of Fantastic four
that way you could make your cock massive and thick to pleasure a woman who had a fanny like a leather binliner and make it small and gentle for the sort who would cry if you brutishly thrusted at them in the manner of SIKRIK.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

My mates and Missus rip the piss out of me for looking like the doll
espimages.biz/2152/I/555/6/scaleMr_Fantastic1.jpg
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

Telekinesis

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

The ability to change channels with your mind?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

+ float another bag of doritos out of the kitchen
while you continued to watch friends
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

psychokinesis

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

that was my least favourite plasmid in bioshock
i'd like super strength
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

setting things on fire was my favourite

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

yeah!
also, freezing then smashing with the wrench
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

Teleportation.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

The ability to banish televisions from your country?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

Coming over here, making me watch Goodness Gracious Me.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

You should set up the BBCNP
(

vladimir, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

transmute base metal into marmite

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

I'd be on fucking fire

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Statistically speaking,
probably cancer.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

YOU HAD TO GO THERE DIDN'T YOU, YOU HEARTLESS PRICK, :((((((( WHERE'S IS SSG? IS HE OK?

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

What's the proper name for Gambit's power?

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

Fannying about with a poncey stick and hat?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

And blowing stuff up

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

'Terrorist'

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

You can't prove anything!
*flees*
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

ahe-hem.
'As a mutant, Gambit possesses the ability to manipulate kinetic energy, as well as a hypnotic charm. He is also skilled in card throwing, hand-to-hand combat, and the use of a staff'
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6202463
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

See, you should write stuff for wikipedia
you use less words, thus less energy, thus are saving the planet.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

It would be a bit shit, though.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

No, it'd be better.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Have a sweetie.
I have millions.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Yowzer, thank you.
I'd like an orange one if you've got any.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Yep, well half orange half green fizzy thing.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

Sexual healing

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

Phwoaar

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

So jumping on patients in the hospital, crouching on their faces and rubbing your fanny into it?
I wonder if they will offer that on the NHS?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

she already does that but at the moment she is working in the morgue

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Omnipotence would be useful.

(

Lord Gnome, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

shapeshifting would be cool

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

f t

nnngggg... a POOdle nnnnnnggggggg... a copy of the BIG ISSUE... nnnnggg nggg arrrrghhhhh OW OW OW GRUNT FUUUUUCK... Friz's shitty fucking face.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

haha
I could evade the law for DAYS as a copy of the Big Issue.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Well.
I did mean that you could shit shits out in different shapes.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

Your clothes would have to be able to shape shift too or will you have to be starkers.
Unless, that's the idea.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

that's totally the idea
a llama dressed like me would look a little odd.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

I dunno, it might look quite fetching in short shorts, blazer and cap.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

Cr3: Hey Spango, I'm home!
Spango: MAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cr3: Argh! A llama? But wait, are those Spango's shoes?
Spango: MAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cr3: Spango! Have you turned into a llama? Those shoes clash hideously with your fur!
Spango: MAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cr3: Hmm... does this make you Lottie The Llama now?
Spango: MAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cr3: AAARRRGH!
Spango: *burp* ... MAAAAAAAAAAA!
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

haha
*clicks furiously*
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I would be able to wiggle my left ear.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

To be able to shape shift my dinkle and open locks with it.
'Cockpicking' if you will.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'd have the power to mutate
EXTRA FINGER, GO!
SUPER TUMOUR GROWING POWER, EXACERBATE!
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

Being able to stretch really far
/lazy
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

haha

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Create forcefields.
So I can protect myself and anyone else and no-one can break inside.

Hmm... I see what the doctors mean now about "autistic tendancies".
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

The power to summon hyper intelligent cod at my beck and call.
admittedly not very useful but I would be glowing green at the time.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

use the cheat cod!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

So, Silverstone...
Anyone going for the Renault World Series in July?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

Several thousand I would expect

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

So, you mean to say that my 4 tickets aren't the only ones issued
I'm outraged
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

Yes.
In my fucking HONDA ACCORD with red hot sex with real actual ladies.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

so, Alicia Silverstone
*broom brooms*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

I'd rather spent the weekend prising off every single one of my finger and toe nails
than pay to watch a bunch of French-engined go-karts pretend to "race"
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

Well, since it's FREE you won't have to mutilate yourself

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLIARDS

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

L FACE
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

L
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

pool's closed
░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░░░
░░░░░▄█████████████▄░░░░░
░░▄██████████████████▄░░░
░░████████████████████▄░░
░██████████████████████░░
░██████████████████████░░
░██████████████████████░░
░░█████████▀▀▀█████████░░
░░▀█████▀░░░░░░░▀█████░░░
░░░▀▀███░░█░░░█░░███▀░░░░
░░░░░░░█░░░░▀░░░░█░░░░░░░
░░░░░░▄██▄░░▀▀░▄█▀▄░░░░░░
░░░░▄▀░▀▄▀▀███▀▀▄▀░▀▄░░░░
░░░░█░░░░▀▄▀░▀▄▀░▄░░█░░░░
░░░░█░█░░░█░░░█░░█░░█░░░░
░░░░█░█░░░░▀▄▀▀▀▀█░░█░░░░
░░░░█░█░░░░░▄░░▄██▄▄▀░░░░
░░░░█░█░░░░░▄░░████░░░░░░
░░░░███▄░░░▄▄▄░░░▄▀░░░░░░
░░░░░▀▀█▀▀▀░▄░▀▀▀█░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░█░░░░█░░░░█░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░█░░░░█░░░░█░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░█▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄█░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░██████▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

racist

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

C just said "I'd better butter this woman up before I send her the bill"
I said (adopting the Greased Up Deaf Guy from Family Guy voice) "Uh huh, you can't catch me, no way." That went down to a wall of blank faces, like that time I did my Bernard Manning material as a warm up for Diversity.
(

magnum, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

If I were experimented on in a medical institution
I'd expect there to be a fucking pool too.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

Would it have green water?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

I reckon piss
Hot, wet piss.

All in your face.

For money.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

Well of course it would be wet
I mean, who has dry piss?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

NTT.
Bruce Spring-erspaniel-Stein.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

Shovel impact testing intitution.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

At the very least.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

If I fill the bath up with water I have a very small swimming pool that I can't actually swim in and besides it's a bath not a swimming pool

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

That's the best thing you've ever said.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

What's the difference?
When does a bath become a pool? Is there ponds in the middle?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

I do 20 legths in my bath every night. I just flop about like a happy fishy

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

I bet you wear flippers and one of those flowery pool hats like a 40s lady.
www.wecovet.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/06/24/wcswimcapfloralgirl.jpg
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

what in gods name is the experiment for tho?

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

THE ANGLICAN SOCIETY FOR THE PROMOTION OF AWESOME

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

it's not really working out is it

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

who knows?
Its clearly not working
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

if the elephant man was still alive i'd assume it was to provide him with spare parts

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

New type of dog food
Innit
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

Souixie shitz-Souix

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

David Bow-wowie.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

Barky Bark

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

I see what you did there.

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

maybe Sammi is the black labrador in
Plague Dogs
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

If I were a dog in a band I'd make an awesome guitarist because I'd use a CHI-WAH-WAH pedal.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Don't you mean a CHI-WAH-WAH POODLE?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

DOG you mean a CHI-WAH-WAH POODLE?

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

DOG you mean WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

DOG YIP mean a CHI-WAH-WAH POODLE?

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

Fuck I think I left the echo unit on.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

Manfred doberMann

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

The (Labra)Doors

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

Terry(ier) Hall

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

Would you play lead?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

No trumPET

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

i might go up the pub, imagine that, oh you can't because you can't drink booze as you are lol mental, shame

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

Sometimes I go to the pub and have a non-alcoholic drink.
Gutteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

If I was a dog in a band i'd be fucking suprised.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

Can dogs be surprised?

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

If they encounter something surprising they can be.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

I remain unconvinced
Mainly because I don't believe a dog has the mental capacity for the emotion "surprise"
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

Yes, they do.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

My dog
looks surprisingly AWESOME!
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

Biffy woo!
Lazy sod.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

dogs are fucking thick though
no-one can argue with that
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

You've only met thick dogs, then, obviously.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

Yes
1.media.tumblr.com/D7jqIL5DK8cr6ppbnS8x175i_500.jpg
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

Devil dog
still doesn't look surprised. Maybe you should get your cock out?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

If I was a dog in a band
I'd have a shit then sniff another dogs arse then go to sleep.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

Can we get another update on Sammi's pool, please?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/bad7436b035054876c55/prediction.jpg
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

That's a girl's "a"

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

He is half gay

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

Note how I do both versions of the "a"

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Good point

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

What the fuck kind of apostrophe is that too?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Fuck knows
My eyes are full of water and I cannot see or think. First Defence nasal spray hurts me.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

I thought he meant Friz's weird nearly-horizontal apostrophe
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

I did
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

Never mind eh
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

you don't use a pen much, do you

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

:(

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

l

am I the first?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

I've been bad again :(
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

That's one hell of a nutsack

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

Dogs in popular music.
The Beagles.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Fuck off with your puns.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Yeah, let's hear more about Sammi's life, what was I thinking?

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

Haha
Good point.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

Dogs.
(

Malchick, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Led Chihuahua

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Spandau Alsatian

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

This made me smile.

(

Malchick, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

the roll over stones

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

Westielife.
Alsatian Dub Foundation.
Corgy and Bess.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

Living in a Boxer

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

Metallica - Mastiff of Puppets.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

Dogasis

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

The Korgis
Dreadful shite and no pun, sorry
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

Beethoven.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

St Bernard Cribbins the Musical.
Maybe.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

Roveriohead

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

captain wow is fat

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

Pffft

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

Spaniel Bedingfield

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

haha

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

The Beagly Boys
Black Sabrador
(

M o D, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

The pool people have just been
They said they'd put the chlorine in the pool, and the water was 'cloudy, but ok' on their report. I've just been out there and it's fucking bright GREEN.

/blog

How're you? And if you could do anything tonight, what would it be?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

*writes down a prediction*

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

Unbelievable
www.b3tards.com/u/bad7436b035054876c55/prediction.jpg
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

l
l
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

I am poolless and now not talking to you.
I'd go to Alton Towers.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

now i really fucking want to go to alton towers
thanks a lot
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

YOU'RE SHITTING WELCOME.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

thorpe park is closer, i'll go there instead

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Fucking go then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

I FUCKING AM

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

FINE.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

Thorpe Park is the Tesco Value Alton Towers though
Chessington is where it's at.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

You know, Alton Towers is under an hour away
Yet I haven't been there since moving from Sussex :S

I should be shot or something.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

I want to go so desperately
it's been...two years?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

I'd say the last time I went was around 1996, so a fair while for me :(
Stupid boring friends, only wanting to play WoW all weekend...
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

I'm going there next week :D

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Shove it up your manflap, ho.
Or take me. I'll be nice to you if you take me.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

I'll take you if you want.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

\o/
Oh, fabulous and glorious Master.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

I would love Alton Towers if they did a night-time opening hours thingie

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

Ennit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

I quite like Wormulus too.
I can think of about 10 regular talkers I like.

Sorry, your questions were shit so I was responding to a post down there instead.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

Everyone wants to know which ten now

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

No.
A few shit people do.
At least ten people don't care.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6202275
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Good.
Hope so.
Good.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
IVE GOT A POOL
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

Poooooooool
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

BUT NO IDEA HOW IT WORKS
I'm not swimming in that
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

~~POOL~~ HDTV

lololol
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

~~POOL HDTV~~ woman falling from my building
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

I have a yellow pool
It's in a small room in my house. You pull a lever and the water goes away. It's only big enough to get a foot in but it's nice and cool in the summer.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

The American army has just come up with an alert for whenever you post. it's currently at DEFCUNT 5

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

I'm sorry, I don't really mean it, but it just came to me and was too funny not to say :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Are you really sorry? Are you?
/doubts
(

thealternativefact, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

hahaha

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

*splorf*
good grief, dg. not when i've got a cuppatea!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Here, have my crown of most terriblest bully on b3ta
*gives*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

You're a cunt
But even I clicked that
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

LOL IAM OK HOW R U

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6202262
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

Not be working :(

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Pool?
And tonight, I just want to watch a movie and have an early night.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Yes, a swimming one
More work than they're worth, it seems. The boiler's gone.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

I would go to the beach and drink beer on the shore and get all sandy and it would be lovely

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Thank you for telling us about your pool.
It was very interesting.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Fucking hell today isn't half dragging.
I'm about to be left alone in my office as well.

Tell me something fabulous. Lies will do. Just make them SPECTACULAR.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Bladmonkey once raped 14 alsatians in a day.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

I said LIES

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

It was really 23

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Then he still did 14 didnt he ?
So it's not a lie, it's just a partial truth.

*belms*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

I actually did die of cancer once though so you people don't know what you're talking about and you're really insensitive.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

You were copying SSG for the attention though.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

Are you at the CHBash?
I hope you are at the CHBash.
You are one of my favourite people to see at the CHBash. Also Easty and Moo.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

And stupid fat girls with their tits hanging out.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

I wondered when you were going to mention me

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

i bet everyone is extra excited about this one since it is the first time that i will be attending

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

yay :D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

No.
You're quite dull and cornish faced.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

i direct your attention to the posts above and below yours
checkmate!
also, i know you love me really, balders
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

huzzah!
I will hide in your beard.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

Possibly.
I understand it's being billed as a 'smash Sexface in the face' party.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

David Carradine needed to practice his Hung Fu a bit more...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

Also I'm really a man in disguise

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

pfft
alright DG?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Ello monkey pants ;)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

I might sleep for a week.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

have you made a podcast or something?
OH NO HE DI-N'T!! SHA ZAMMY!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

I don't get it.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

you listened to yourself and bored yourself to sleep for a week.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Oh.
I might try that, sounds like it would work.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

i kid i kid :)
I just being a silly :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

this is very out of character
i'm disappointed
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/dgisalwaysserious.jpg
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Wowsers

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

I can take my leg off, attach it via my second toe to my earlobe
and turn myself into a rudimentary parsnip mincer.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

You didn't like my halloween costume suggestion then :(

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

No, I just didn't see it.
Battlefield Earth is uncommonly shite.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I know but the aliens remind me of Another World (the old computer game)

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

Still, though :D

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

You are an amazing lady

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

I was hoping you'd think that.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I once inserted a baseball bat into the minge of a girl i dated at uni, she was insistant and had the width of an aircraft carrier
Its possible thats too much sharing.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

I mean im not sure if thats spectacular or not

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

If you're into buckets.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

I prefer them like a mouses ear

Not an actual mouses ear. That'd be odd.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Tiny and fuzzy and grey?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

I read that as 'fluzzy'

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Awwww bless her.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

She's /talk's favourite Christian
Always trying to convert people she is. Constantly.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

Jesus was a black man

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

No.
Jesus was batman.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

Attagirl
even if/when I'm a vicar, I don't think I'll be doing the whole 'come on, get in the church with you, you heathens' thing.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

You get a free uniform though
Thats not half bad
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

And a pretty cool custom God Scarf.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

keeping heaven all to yourself? you selfish bitch

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

You'll clutter it up.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

s'alright, I've got my own block of flats in hell

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

Well there we go then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

Converrrrrt meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I don't have to go to church do I?
Everyone always looks at me like I'm the bad girl.
I just don't get it.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

I've not been taught
so I'll have a bash.

Er...Jesus, yeah, he was awesome and GOD, yeah, he's awesome too.

Christian yet?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

I already was, I just got upset that you didn't want to convert me
so thanks
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

People get upset when you try to convert them

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

KFC amiright?!?!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Nomnomnomnomgravy.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Sometimes I wear the bucket on my head and become a KNIGHT OF THE MESSY TABLE

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

Buckethead?
Do you brandish your axe?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

I do my electric octopus dance

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

Good lord
I don't know how you're not knee deep in flaps.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

But I AM though :)
*rolls around in his collection of catflaps*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

Bet that's uncomfortable.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

That's impressive.

(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Sideways?

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

If you like

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

I remember being extremely disappointed with the results when I shoved a mars bar up a lady
mental note to self - chuck it in the fridge for a while first
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

A baseball bat's quite modest in diameter
compared to, say, a hand. Which isn't all that uncommon an object.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

still
it's got a rather blunt end.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

that's easily mitigated
by taking a long enough run-up.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

Like a sort of a minge vault.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

*winces*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

My pubic hair
has been replaced by peacock feathers. They fan out when I become tumescent.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

I might have to photoshop something like that
it sounds very pretty.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

No dude
cocks are ugly.

Do one of a fanny, but instead of pubes there's a lions mane and instead of flaps theres the two 9/11 towers asploding.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

That just sounds awesome, never mind pretty
cocks aren't always ugly, you know.

Actually they very rarely are.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Good for you

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

What is?
Now who's the miserable cow? Cheer up, miseryballs.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Good for you that you like cocks
I like fannies, I think they are ace but I guess I think cocks are so minging that I expect everyone to think they are shit.

You are lucky that you like cocks.

Unless you're a gay.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

Either/or. Makes nae difference to me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

OMGEXUAL

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

That's PLANE CUNTISHNESS.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Dude
people died on a plane recently.

This is too soon.

: (
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

ALIENS did it.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Scientists have created a real life shark that can store 3tb of mp3 files and play them while delivering a flashing skin and laser-fin sound to light show.
Solar powered and all.
And it eats half of every dolphin ever.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

And they are reinstating the English canal system and putting loads of these sharks in it.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

I spent the weekend on the moon
battling lesbian robot zombies with a laser-powered atomic shotgun on a fucking Harley Davidson
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

That's not fabulous.
That's a somewhat depressing mid-life crisis fantasy from a balding man in an old grey tanktop eating pea soup.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

have you stopped being shit yet?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

YOU are.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

PWNED

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

When I was very young, I was taken away by some monks and forced to perform dark rituals in the night.
We raised the evil Hellbeast Kthar'shigron to wreak terrible damage in a small Ukranian city called Pripyat. The government hushed it up and said it was a nuclear accident as they're using contrails to turn the world into their own giant pentagram to raise demons and this might expose them. The monks deposited me back at my home, and I was to live a normal life, forgetting the moment of power I had in that dark circle of hell.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

huh.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

I´ve only been at work 5 mins & I´m already bored
Lizards saliva tastes of marmite, which is why some lizards look really happy & others look really unhappy.
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Haha that's brilliant.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

ESME WESME!
Show us your knickers
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

NO
I can't remember what ones I have on, they might not be nice.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

I´m not fussy

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

How much?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

they're made from her gran's old vest with the neck hole sewn up

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

hahaha

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

COR

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

I'm going to test that when I get home.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

I hope this is true

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

German Measles was actually invented by a Czech.
And Delhi Belly was first discovered in Marrakesh.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

I see
*sees*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

when i was younger we used to sniff poppers
we once decided to make susan thomas cat get high on them, we made it sniff them so much it died and blood came out of it's nose and ears, susan was crying so much john got managed a sympathy fuck out of her
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

p o

/spaniel
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

A kid bullied me at school
Later, after I'd done some Kung Fu, I bought a Honda Accord and run him over till he died.

The last laugh was on me though when I accidentally killed myself having a posh wank in a Hong Kong hotel : (
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

ha ha ha

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I heard that in the style of Nelson from the Simpsons
: (
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

In an echo chamber?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

I think it's fabulous anyway
I am wearing a waistcoat made of long vibrantly purple fur. It's amazing. I love it.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

yesterday
I woke up so late and got to work so fast that my morning erection didn't kick in til i was sat at my desk
(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

Everyone misses me when I don't post
but won't admit it on here becuase they don't want people to think they aren't internet cool.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=wormulus+is+a+cunt
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

I was accused
Of saying something interesting.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

I know, but his backhand is shit.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Reply fail.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Wanker.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

SHIT PODCAST ATTEND TO ME CUNT SHIT WANKER SHIT PODCAST ATTEND TO ME CUNT SHIT WANKER SHIT PODCAST ATTEND TO ME CUNT SHIT WANKER SHIT PODCAST ATTEND TO ME CUNT SHIT WANKER SHIT PODCAST ATTEND TO ME CUNT SHIT WANKER SHIT PODCAST ATTEND TO ME CUNT SHIT

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

MEDICAL EXPERIMENTS
LOLROFFLE
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

baldmonkey sinks deeper into the pit of shitness

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

Tennis lols

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

0 love
HAHAHAHAA
(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

I have a bratwurst !
LOL DOGSCOCK !

I just saw that fucker from Masterchef in Borough Market.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

And I spent £12.50 on gay chocolate.

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Hard filling?

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

£8.50 on various truffles
the rest on a selection of chocolate coated fruits and nuts.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

I had heard you like to gobble fruits and nuts.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

No you've been misinformed.
I merely like gay sex with gay men with all cocks and bums and fists and shit.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

what makes chocolate gay?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

It's shaped like a boomerang so you have to eat it with your wrist at 90 degrees.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Rubbing it on your willy
in order to make it look like you bummed someone.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Inserting it into your anus
And then having it eaten out by Graham Norton.

Or Maffers. Virtually the same person i suppose.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

~~Graham Norton~~ Toadfish
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

harsh but fair.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

You've managed to combine homosexuality, Maffers and food
in one thread.

Well done this manstrosity.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Hurry up and flounce
Before you implode in some sort of ultimate shitness event that physics will be at a loss to explain.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

I have to say
that I 95% like Wormulus.

If he were to be 5% less shit, I would brand him awesome and a credit to b3ta.

Currently I only actually like about 5 or so regular /talkers.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

Beat you off for a fiver sir?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Does that work?
Is that how one gets love?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Yes

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Tempting.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

I will not allow you to become the /talk cumdumpster
We've already got one of those
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Which one is it
now JV no longer comes here ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

There's a difference between hands and vaginas, Myks
I keep trying to tell you this when you buy your right one flowers and chocolates.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Pfft

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

you'll never get a nice boy if you call yourself a cumdumpster, Mykey

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

I'll give you thruppence and no more

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

You might be becoming gayer than Gonz
I'd watch it if I were you.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

I bet you'd love to watch it

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

You cant be gay if you're a virgin
you can be potentially gay. No more.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

Didn't you show him your wolf's neck of a fanny over webcam?
It's your fault he's gay...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

Such a nice boy.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

I think im going to have to release that video of you doing a naked freddie mercury impression over webcam

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

You seem to "happen upon" a lot of webcam footage.
A lot of webcam footage that, it strikes me, a right thinking gentleman would avoid.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

I spent £7.50 on Green and Blacks chocolate.
Is that suitably gay? I hope so, I nearly fainted in the middle of Waitrose it was that expensive.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Put some fish paste on it
and lick it while pretending it's a fanny.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

This could be applied to 99% of situations

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Only for lezzers
blokes only lick fannies as a sort of sexual pre-emptive strike.

as in

"Well, so what if I came after 30 seconds, I just lapped away at your piss flaps for half an hour !"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

It's true, that's the sad thing.
You can't criticise someone after they've gone down on you, it's rude.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

And to be fair, if they've give you your jollies
then you should shut the fuck up about them having theirs.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

It's only fair.
Dear God I'm so bored I might go read a book.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

Fuck that
lezz yourself crosseyed
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Not so effective for a career in medicine though.
Except maybe gynae.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

something from waitrose was expensive?
*jaw drops* I hope it was nomable enough to be worth it
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

It's going to be made into chocolate fudgy lovliness bars.
With pecans. Oh yes.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

NOM nom nom om om

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

I have a pack of luckies
is this a late lunch thread ?
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Unless you smacked him over the head with a chorizo sausage, you failed in your mission, Number 47

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Fuck that
I'dve looked like a right cunt doing that. Bullying an old man who is only about 5'8"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Was it the wee bald one?
If so that's alright, he knows his oats. The lanky one's a prick.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Yes the wee bald one
He was saying loudly "IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR LICENSE FEE IN ACTION HERE IT IS, SIX OR SEVEN PEOPLE, ALL ON AT LEAST THREE HUNDRED GRAND A YEAR STANDING ABOUT DOING NOTHING"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

When ever I try and quit smoking, as I'm trying now, the want for Franfurters goes through the roof, even more so than the cigs themselves.
I haven't given in yet though...BE.STRONG.DG!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Ummm lovely bratwurst sold by actual germans with german ketchup on it in a fresh bread roll
*drools*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I want to eat it from the other end as you like in Lady & The Tramp
maybe we might kiss!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Yes
like dogs.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Sniff my bum as I wag my tail you harsh bit of man meat!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Dude
I'm hoping this is just forum banter.

Really hoping.

You gay furry
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

now roll in some poo!

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I WOULD HAVE a double decker
but the stupid chocolate machine's being a tossrag.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

And percussive maintenance didn't provide you with chocolatey goodness?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I booted it, then decided I don't want to be in trouble.
I've asked for my money back though.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

Double Decker in a bratwurst thread ?
FOOD FAIL
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

There is no meat in the machine.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

I can soon remedy this

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

You go and stick your bratty in it
and then I'll come along, pay my 50p and then... I don't know. You can leave and I'll get on with things.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

Then he gets a chocolate bar hitting him in the cock?

(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

It's more than he deserves.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Now now
you miserable cow.

I'll accuse you of being on the blob in a minute...
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

Not for AGES yet
If I'm this shittyarsed now, imagine how cunty I'm going to be then? Wunderbar. I hope you're excited.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

*fists*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

In the nice way?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

You may interpret it thusly

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Well that's lovely of you, then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Will I ring a and e now, so you're not stuck too long this time?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

Make currywurst
NOW
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

The girl on that who made chocolate mud pie things with tarragon was ace
She was clearly being banged by both the hosts
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Did they high five over her back whilst "giving her the message" from both ends ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Yes
And then she farted out the spunk from her anus onto a nice salad as a dressing
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

Also
she had knobcheese on her tongue for a month
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Swallow it whole.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

which one?
the bald one with the big mouth or the other one?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

never mind, I read further up.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

The one with three tits
and a penguin bumming another penguins beak off on top of his head.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

I wasn't asking which one was your mum.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Dont drag jmg into this

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

I like they way they both pause with the spoon infront of them and then GULSHOOM shlurp it up
They have terrible manners for foodies.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

the bald one always looks like a giant baby
sullenly staring at the food then stuffing it RIGHT in.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

remember the night I fell in the shite, I had my best suit on
dee diddly dum dee diddly dum dee diddly can't remember the words
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Magic moments
covered in ex-creeee-ta
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

I might register excr3ta.com and point it at b3ta

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

What brings you here rather than on /links these days ?
And are you still mates with A walla fa shag ba ? How is he if so ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

eh what? I'm always on here
/links is shite, I haven't posted anything there in years
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

lol I've finished all of my exams.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Me too
during the 1980's
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

I was born in '87.
Do you have memories in black and white?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Went to the zoo yesterday.
Littlest girl said was so excited that her brain jumped up and down and some juice leaked from her ear.

When was the last time you was properly excited about something?

And you can't say sex, cos we're all fat virgins on here.
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

Probably about going to see the rays at Chessington.
I fucking love rays.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

that'd be a shit place to work
all day you'd hear people making the same dad jokes about X rays and Ray Winstone and other people called Ray

and then one day you'd just flip out and bring an AK47 to work and murder everyone
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Today, because I can have a lie in tomorrow and I haven't been able to do that
for a couple of weeks.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

Whats kept you so busy?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

The meet last weekend
and I can't have lie ins during the week due to smelly poo work.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

You work in the sewers?
GASP! Can you get me Splinter's autograph?
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

Hahahaha, if that were true I'd be too busy
happily being tagteamed by BeBop and Rocksteady.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

cor

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

You betcha.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

Filth.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Only a little bit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

I dunno
BeBop and Rocksteady were quite hefty, as I remember.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

:(

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

I like me a husky lad.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

What the fuck?

(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Which bit's giving you a problem?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

The whole... image. Oh god, where's the mindbleach?
Oh god, oh god, please make it stop.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Fucking charming.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

When I saw Derren Brown
I was like eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

Like that, see.

I'm a half poof, you see.
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

did you jump up and down?

(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I did not, but I was very excited
He is pretty awesome.

Second row as well. On the end of the row, so whenever he walked into the audience, I could have punched him the leg.

IF I WANTED TO.

I didn't though
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

half poof =/= shit, though

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

WHAT

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Derren Brown.
Shit.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Oh... my... gosh...
:(
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

IF HE TOLD YOU TO THINK OF A WORD
HE'D BE ABLE TO SAY THE WORD YOU'RE THINKING OF.

HE IS AWESOME.

THIS IS AN AWESOME POWER.
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

He never guessed when I thought about guffbeaks

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

haha, if you asked ANY of us what word you were thinking of
we'd get that. unless it was 'pug'
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

Maybe, but WHICH ONE?!?!?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

RONG

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Noooo
he's very sexy.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

I hate all those crappy "psychics"

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

He's not, he's just buggering good at reading body language, hein?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

that's what I mean
it's not mystical, it's just reading people. I find it a bit meh.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

I still think it's sexy
he's a bit sinister and for some reason that always rubs me up the right way. Magic sinister, not old man in the park at night sinister.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

His 'Trick or Treat' series was a bit surreal at times.
This is good.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

He out and out SAYS that it isn't mystical.
That's like saying "yeah, I hate Tim Minchin because he keeps talking about God"
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

My best mate's frightened of Tim Minchin
she almost made me turn off Buzzcocks.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

easy now Frizzle
you seem to be taking this rather personally.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

I am :(

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

I'm sure he's a lovely human being
I just think his shows are a bit boring.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

[Sad Face]
~~Sad~~ Fat
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

Hahaha!
Do you even know who he is?! He says out loud that "psychic" people are bullshit. And to show this, he shows the methods they use. However, he does it for entertainment purposes.. he's not a cunt who says "yes, I am talking to your dead relative"... he's a brilliant showman, and I will not hear another bad word about him.
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

He released a book calling himself a Mentalist.
That's all I need to say.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAAAA
I'M LAGUHING LOUDER THAN YOOOOOU HA HA HA HA HA HA
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

I win, close match...
*mops brow*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

*COCK IN FACE PUNCH*

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

I DODGE THY NEEDLE
AND SHOO YOU AWAY LIKE A BLUEBOTTLE WHOSE HAD HIS HEAD SUCTION CUPPED.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

:,(

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

*tickles*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

I'm quite excited to get home actually
cr3's been DIY-ing today and I will come home to a sofa and shelves!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

He's made a sofa?!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I'd be even more impressed if that was the case
but I think the nice people at IKEA made the sofa.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I want a new sofa, but only because I don't like navy blue leather.
However, the navy blue leather one we currently have is the comfiest sofa in the world. I'm torn. New and pretty or old and comfy and not matching the new decor?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

Stick a cover on it, or dye it.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

It's covered in throws
I might make a fitted cover for it but....well, effort, isn't it?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

Yeah, and they always fall off
We used to have one on our shitty old couch.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Fuck it, I might just get a new couch.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

You could get it reupholstered?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

There's that, yeah.
I'm just being indecisive.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Oooh, I bet we have a similar sofa!
Which one is it?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

it's brahhhhhn.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Ours is a navy type thing.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

I made 2 beds not so long back

(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

I wish I was useful.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

I don't have much choice
either I do it, or it doesn't get done.
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

I'm going to put up shelves soon
All the DVDs and books are going on the wall. I don't think you'll be able to see half the walls in our living room once I've finished.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

I bought two bookcases
and put them up because, my original bookcase was groaning under the weight of all the books and DVDs
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

I've almost run out of floor space, you see
hence the wall shelves, utilise some of the 11 foot of height.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

High Ceilings!
What I would give for high ceilings.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

Yeah, we paid through the nose for them though.
It all breaks down when it's a right hassle changing lightbulbs, even when my 6ft1/2 partner is stood on a table reaching with all his might.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

You should stand on his shoulders :)
Or get a stepladder, whichever's easiest/more fun
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

I'm terrified of heights.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Not the best idea then :(
I thought of a great halloween costume for your lovely manwife earlier :P
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Predator?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

Terl from Battlefield Earth
www.imdb.com/media/rm3494549760/ch0010643

He'd look awesome
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

try taping a trained monkey to a broom handle

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Out of network cables and discarded PC cases
Spango gets a little cotton wool ball to sit on :) aww
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Ahhhh, that sounds lovely.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Yeah I know, I'm kinda jealous now :( the cotton wool that is, not the PC case sofa :S

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

If we sat you in loads of cotton wool
it'd look really playgirl, though.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

Is that a problem?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

Not for me, no.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

Good good
*cameras flash* *starts crying* AAAaawwaaaii I'M A HUMAN BEING!!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

BE QUIET
pop some of that ice on your nipples.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

D': yes miss

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

aw you've seen it?
My little cotton wool ball is so comfy. A bit big, though.

We have so far made:
1 tv/media cabinet
1 shower screen
1 table
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

Coolios :)
I bet cr3 is eating raw meat atm due to doing manly man man things :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

Ikea does not count as DIY
when is your sexy housewarming party?
(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

it bloody does
I worked up a right sweat making a bedside table last night. I had to bolt it to the bed and everything. Drills were involved, and hammers.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

You've responded to the wrong part of my post

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

also housewarming will be At Some Point
as it's still a bit of a mess :)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

Ooooh, sounds like we have the same bedset aswell:)

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

Malm?
:)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

Yep!
:)
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

the little tables are a bugger to attach to the bed.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

I'm moving into my own place in 2 weeks and I have to go furniture and electrical shopping this weekend :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

My lovely mother gave me a futon she wasn't using
Everything else has been bought and transported on buses.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

I'm getting some furniture
But I have to buy expensive things like sofas and the like :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

I get excited over the smallest things.
I've got a pair of sparkly purpley rainbowy shoes from Priceless Shoes for a tenner, I get excited just watching them sparkle.

I'm a moron.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

meh, your happy
the secret to a happy life is a low IQ and lower expectations.
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Sounds to me like your daughter has epilipsy.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

~~has epilipsy.~~ is awesome.
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

~~awesome~~ brainwrong
(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE PONDERING FOR SOME NONCERING

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

she is my daughter
that kinda went without saying.
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

probably when my new ebay guitar arrived
I was like a kid on christmas morning ripping the parcel open
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

What you got?
I sold my rare Ibanez (only 200 ever made) the other day for more than I bought it for :D
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

lots and lots of stratocasters
www.gilgamesh.zen.co.uk/guitars/
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

fair enough, Only strat I like is the Billy Corgan ed. I've always been more of a Gibson for guitars fan
Although I think fender P basses are the best :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

i get quite excited about most things.
i'm a bit childish, like that.
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

going fishing thrills me everytime
the excitement of catching a carp never ends for me
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

haha, oh mongy
you are a card
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

it is thrilling, i vibrate with pleasure just on the way to the lake
and when the buzzers scream off and the clutch is running, my heart starts pounding as i lift into the fish, then the nervous game is afoot, minutes feel like hours until you have your quarry safe on the unhooking mat, still you are buzzing on adrenaline, then i have a beer
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

have you ever spluffed your waders?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

not my waders no, not that i have waders, i don't go in, i sit about drinking and smoking till the above described happens
lazy carping, great stuff
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

My breakfast snickers bar

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Thats not brain juice
Thats the sperm of a close family member
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

or pet

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

oh, last night I was out with friends and one had her kids with her, her son and I were laughing about something
and she said "look at you guys bonding, I didn't think you even liked kids, Kristine!" and I replied "I love kids! But not in that awkward way" and sort of winked at her.
Then it got awkward.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

oops
parents have no sense of humor when it comes to pedophiles.
why cant they just CHILLAX
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

RIGHT?!
gosh, it's just tickling
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

right
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC6iQwoXc-w&feature=fvw
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

arses
I don't have sound at work.
Must watch later.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

you must its from a program called monkey dust
check out 'Clive's excuses' from it
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I. Love. You.

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

hahaha then she was all "Why would you even say that?"
I just laughed at her.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

was it a evil laugh
like ha ha ha BWAH HAH AHA HA
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Lezza.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Cock

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

I like this.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

TAKE THAT NEXT WEDNESDAY
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

last week when I was invited to go to the bahamas for the low low price of $200.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

gonna go?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

No. Because then it was 'Oh, I need $150 for your plane ticket to new york'
then it was 'and an extra $80 for gratuities'
it's still cheap as hell but I can't afford it right now
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

what are 'gratuties' exactly?
was this with ryanair?
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

It was a cruise set to leave new york so it's just like a tip for the staff, $10 a day.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

tipping is alien and disgusting to me

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

If its included in the price its not a tip.
tell the cheap bastards to pay their staff more
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

I'm going to tell them to suck my rigid cock

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

damn straight
btw, is a $150 a fair price to pay to fly to new york from where your from? it would cost me about ten times that
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

fuck no, it takes 5 hours to drive there from here

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Just checked the BBC
We Got Bristol
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

Arses we lost most of the west country
and the Tories took staffordshire for the first time since 1977
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

When me and you didn't do sex.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

I'm going for a picnic tomorrow
I'm quite excited about that.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

baaa i went to the pub and they have clipped the alpacas AND THEY LOOK FUNNY.
see?
(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

Pub...alpacas...
what? Do you live in Peru?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

Are you saying your local pub doesn't have alpacas?
Blimey. You must live in a rough area.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes.
A thousand times yes, Theo. YES.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

I'm sensing affirmation here

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

no, devon.
they grow quite well here.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

It is quite similar.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

I didn't know that Peruvians were so adamant about people getting off their land

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

haha i had to walk 14 miles home in the middle of the night after an exboyfriend kept shouting that at me because i was indiscreet during a party in his barn

(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

What a wanker.

(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

it was like 4 months after the end of our 6-month relationship.
and it was a right dull relationship, too.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

A pub down the road used to have pot belly pigs until they escaped and sniffed hub caps for half an hour and then bit a dog

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

today they weren't closed in their field! they were free to roam the pub garden!
they didn't go far though.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

The piggies whould squeeeee if you had scampi fries and get all trotty around you

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

*chuckles*

(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

I bet that dog's now the laughing stock of the canine world.

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

Looks like someone put a donkey through a mangle

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

Kuzco!

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

bless you.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

BOOM baby

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

They're like horsey poodles!

(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

Or giraffe goats.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

normally they are all fat and woolly.
i dont have a photo of that though.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

I know what a fluffy alpaca looks like.
They're like llamas, except not.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

I LIKE THEM.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

I want to ride one.
They look mean and would get all violent if anyone got in the way.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

If you do
please, just for me, dress it up as a chocobo.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

YES

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

This must be done now.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I have the chocobo theme stuck in my head now.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

I've got Wild Boys in my head.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

Haha,
Aw.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

Awww. All the best pubs have animals.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

And all the best animals have pubs

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

there is a few in my local
tom done a bloke with a pub stool the other week, smacked the shit out of him
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

haha, sounds like my local at home.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

to be fair to tom, ginger matt did pick up a glass

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

He was asking for it, so.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

hee hee
:)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

I wouldn't if I was you
www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue381/
(

rob, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

HELLO ROB

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

now giggle like a little girly girl

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

Show me your bumhole

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

Then we can discuss giggling.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

show me your festively decorated foreskin

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

Mykeyboy IS tinselcock

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

It's ok
I never do
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

I'll read it in a couple of weeks when I remember.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

here comes forum owner rob with his newsletter,
the inclusion of dull thread bingo would have made it better.

www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822

bingo
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

Can we have one in the week as well?

(

M o D, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

i can't do the logistics, i'm normally out during the week
perhaps one day tho, you never know
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

Haha, cats being retarded
Good times.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

The cat that gets run over by the little truck
is EXACTLY the same as my old cat LG.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

I had a similar cat called sweep
A black long-haired persian
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

LG was a maine coon.
Fat and massive and a bit of a paedocat.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Give it a flat face and it would be a persian though :P

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

:D

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

RACIST!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

Only against those DAMN HONKIES

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

I love Maine Coons, they're so cool.
I think I'd get a Birman first, though.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

They're great cats, are Maines, absolutely lovely things.
I've not had a Birman, although I'd like to one day.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

They're very sweet.
Not as cute as Ragdolls, though.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

I kind of want a munchkin cat
they please me so.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

Squeeeee!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Exactly!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

You can only have long haired persians.
Was it grumpy?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

He was very grumpy, attacking you for no reason while sitting on your lap :)
He had much longer hair than a normal persian ( kind of like this lh5.ggpht.com/mjbmeister/R_vPtn83LHI/AAAAAAAADjI/aEiBqSVXnEg/s400/persian-cat-alasam.jpg ), we also had a white pedigree persian.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

Yeah, Persians are generally angry at the world.
I don't blame them. Ugh, that's why I wouldn't get one, the amount of grooming they need is ridiculous. And when they're old you have to bring them in and get them shaved, and they look stupid.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

The first one has obviously been thrown

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

I'll skimread it for the funny stuff.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

I bet this contains no Wormulus

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

We can only hope so

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

Good to have you back
/controversial
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

WILD BOYS! WILD BOYS!
thucka thucka WILD BOYS!
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

That video used to terrify me.
The bit where he's in the water and that rubbishy rubber looking thing goes to bite him.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

they were shit, but not as shit as Spandau Ballet
FACT
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

you are gold
always believe in your soul,
you've got the power to know,
your indestructible ,
always believing

GOLD
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

I was an a-ha girl myself.
Alright Frank?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

I'm ok but I seem to be having a 1980s day today
up next on Frank FM - The Skids, Into The Valley
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

la la la la la
la la la la la

etc.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

I was asked to be in the video of that
I refused as I was a hip hop boy & duran duran weren't cool.

I was gutted when I found out the kids who did do it got free mcdonalds :(
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

ha ha
loser
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

yeah, you fat loser failure bastard cunt retard virgin spaz

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

Just as well I didn't, then

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

Hands off my asp!

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

207.44.242.20/talk/6201727
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

beans on toast
but with cheese?
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

mmm, good stuff
occasionally... ham too
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

Don't bother with this one either Clagnut

(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

I'll read the newsletter whilst waiting

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

I heard that Maffers has penises for fingers
and Mykey makes him spank him with the quivering willy hands.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

toast off you might even say

(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

oh snap

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

I heard that Wormulus was shit
no offence
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

Where did you hear that?
Everyone thinks I'm brilliant.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

hmmm
www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=+Wormulus+is+shit
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

Oh baldmonkey.
www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=mongychops+is+shit
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

i think the bottom post proves to all these people who claim i've changed that i haven't at all
so fuck them and their online opinions, dullards
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

I don't think you've changed, and why should you?
No offence.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

i think b3ta is more timid these days

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

I think it's more
we just can't be arsed
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

none for me
www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=Psychochomp+is+shit

victory
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

Psychochomp is shit.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

clicked

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

I should have expected that.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

Psychochomp is shit.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

compare and contrast
www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=Wormulus+is+brilliant
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

INTERNET PROOF, ONLINE.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

FINE FINE
You've made your point perfectly clear.

You all hate me.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

Why do you hate me though?

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

I post at least 1 funny thing a day.
Which is a fuck of a lot more than most people on here.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

That makes 1 in every 5000000000011 of your posts funny then

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

this is probably true
but you post so many times that the enduring memory is all the unfunny shit wormulus posts
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

Which goes no way towards cancelling out all the other shite.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

Because you're shit.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

What is it that makes me shit?

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

Probably your attention seeking and incessant use of shit memes.
Also, you appear to be massively up your own arse.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

general opinion seems to be that he's not like this in real life
i've never really understood why people pretend to be more obnoxious than they actually are. what do they stand to gain?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

Meh, I didn't talk to him much when I met him.
I don't know, perhaps they think it makes them look clever.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

i wonder if, and i'm no longer talking about wormo specifically, maybe they feel that being a tossbag and getting noticed
is preferable to being nice and getting ignored.

who knows?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

That sounds like a good theory.
Better to be a cunt than BGN, I suppose.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

psst! what does BGN mean?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

:)
Background noise.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

Bollocks to that.
Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

you insist upon yourself

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

The internet doesn't get much better than this

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

Which is quite a shame really

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

needs more pun thread

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

A quote I quite liked a while ago was:
we all thought the internet would be the new TV. Turned out it was the new teletext.
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

Hmm.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

I didn't eat enough for lunch
I am still hungry.

I am nervous too
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

I've got plenty of Rich Tea biscuits you could have

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

I'm not a biscuit guy.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

I read that as 'biscuit gay'

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

I'm probably not one of those either.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

This made me chuckle more than it should have done.

(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

Me too.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

A man of your quality shouldn't ever have cause to feel nervous.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

possibly not, but it's my first competition this weekend
and I'm rattling on about it more than LimeyTreat did when she was in France.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

Don't worry, your rattling wil never eclipse Mykey's widescreen telly.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

What gives, Gman?
Why so nervy?

*calming hugs*

edit: oh, I see.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

kendo competition :(
scary stuff.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

i wouldn't want to be the person standing opposed to you
surely they will be overwhelmed with the desire to hug you and you can batter them easily
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

I heard that Jenna Haze is going to be at a club near me.
So I'm going to see her.
Woop woop.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

Cum on her tits.

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

I bet she's really annoying.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

I'll likely be more annoyed by the hundreds of dudes shoving to get a glimpse at her

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

I went to the zoo yesterday
I saw a Rhino do a wee-wee.
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

When did they install mirrors in the toilet cubicles?
*runs*
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

twat

(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

I hope it gets popular paged.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

I hope you get hit by a bus, and you're wearing dirty underwear at the time.
/mean
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

That happened once.
I just used my SUPERPOWERS to ninja the bus then drove off in my Honda Accord.

/qotw
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

lololol

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

What a disturbing image

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

I always find yours and Baldmokeys posts hard to answer

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

you need to random answer, like me
or just bugger off and wait until there's a decent thread to play on.
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

Gotcha
*waits in the shadows*
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

Do, do, dodo, do doo..... bababababababababababab RIMSHOT.
If you could only read my mind, you would know that things between us, ain't right.
I know your arms are open wide, but you're a little on the straight side, i can't lie.
Your one vice, is you're too nice, come around and can't you see.

I want you, all tattoed, I want you bad.
Dow- dow dow dow dow dow.
Complete me, misstreat me, I want you to be bad, bad, bad, baaad.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

I just had a pizza Wormulus
A pizza, if you can imagine it.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

I'm imaging your face
that's quite close to a pizza
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

That might be the most arousing image ever dreamed up
Millions of women just queefed in arousal around the world.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

Does anyone on here work for Royal Mail?
I'd like to know how it's possible for a worker to walk out the sorting office with a large, 9kg package - put it in their car and drive off without any questions.
In the past 15 days:
Sending: Nokia N95 = Stolen
Receiving: PS3 = Stolen

Me - Fucking furious at the thieving, slimy cunts yet helpless to do anything.
It's funny how they manage to deliver bills with no problem whatsoever yet things of high value seem to just vanish without a trace regardless of whether it's signed, tracked or insured.
(

Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

i work for royal mail
what seems to be the problem?
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

is it true you use horses to sort the mail?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

DAILY FLUFF
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1190772/What-squeak-Daring-mouse-whos-boss-scares-leopard-steals-lunch.html
(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

haha
that's ace
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

thanks supermatt, I don't need fluffing at the moment
but it's very hospitable of you
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

he's near the topping
i hate that shit
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

But I didn't draw attention to it :P

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

And it's better than posting a new thread.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

my mouse is hovering over delete...
DON'T FORCE MY HAND
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

Thats ace.
It's thinking 'You smell a bit like food,.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

they're born like that you insensitive cunt :(

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

why doesn't my postman have a black & white cat?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

mine has a red cat
well, thats what colour it was once it had run it over.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

how many hairs on my head?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

well you're blonde
so it's likely to be around 140,000 strands. blondes have more hair strands than any other hair colour, y'see
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

haha im blonde
i so am
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

i wasn't sure if there were any vestiges of truth in your profile
so i just ran with it

brunettes have around 110,000
black hair - 108,000 and
redheads have 90,000

take your pick!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

no one lies on the internet

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

i bet you're bald

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

ALL OVER

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

Because he's abused animals in the past.

(

BindiBaji, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:12, archived)

Get off your arse and go to a shop then.
It's people like you who are killing off town centres and the economy.
You should be ashamed.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

hello angry lurker person.

(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

How was it sent?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

By mail.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

Ahahahaha.
Shut up Maffers.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Yes, thank you. Back to your room.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Wait! wait...
instantrimshot.com/
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

You need a good clip round the ear.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

I don't really know if this fits but...
www.dramabutton.com/
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

STOP THIS NOW.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

OK... :(
www.sadtrombone.com/
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

Insufferable boy.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

i'VE STOPPED NOW.
WHY IS THIS IN CAPITALS?

Fuck my fat hands. :(
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

See how much better that is?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

It's ok I s'pose.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

itsokisupposemarimba.com
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

This made me laugh far too much

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Haha, you loser.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

I don't think I've ever had a parcel go missing from the royal mail
your postman obviously thinks you are a cunt.
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

I think he's a cunt
especially after the last fortnight.
(

Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

My postie is a cunt
If the parcel is recorded delivery, he generally signs for it himself then leaves it under the doormat.
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

So lodge a complaint and get him sacked.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Mine does that
except he leaves things outside the front door. Pillock.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Some bloke from some firm decided to card me and stuff the parcel in my shed.
I was impressed at that level of service.

At least he doesn't just stuff cards through your door without even bothering to take the parcel with him.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

i wish my postie would do that
it's a long way to the sorting office
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

My mum and dads does that
But they had to sign something saying it was ok for him to.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

we had a parcel dropped through the living room window the other day
luckily it was nothing breakable
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

I had that happen in Swansea
Wasn't even my package. Scared the shit out of me.
(

Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

.
I never had a problem in Nottingham. Since moving to London though I've had nothing but problems
(

Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Therefore, London is full of cunts.

(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

~~cunts~~ incompetent postmen
(

BindiBaji, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

Population of Nottingham 667,000
Population of London 7,512,400

I imagine tracking all that post is a logistical nightmare.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

there's probably more posties in london.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

I'd still say it's a much more complicated system.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

That's their job though
They should be able to do it.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

This is the part where you say something upsetting about dole

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

Their tinned pineapples are a bit meh.
But their peaches are ok.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

I've had things taken to the completely wrong post office
Where a parcel has been attempted, so I select a post office from a list to pick up from, got the confirmation, had to FIND the post office by post code, went there, and they'd never heard of me.

Turns out they'd taken it like 8 miles to East London. And it's a nightmare trying to phone the Royal Mail!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

It's your own fucking fault for moving to London then.
Everyone knows London is shit.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

And you better hope your not a French student
Lest you get tortured and burnt.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

yeeea boooi
fuck london. essex is where its at
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

you sure?
its where I live.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

not with me you dont

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

Internet rumour time

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

maybe they put it in a bag, you know like as a disguise or something
or stuck a wig on it and walked out pretending it was their wife picking them up from work, or made it look like a dog and walked it out on a lead, i dunno
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

If they managed to pull that off
I'd happily let them keep it. Sounds well deserved if that amount of effort is put in.
(

Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

have you got the wrong postcode on your ebay account?
i haven't received any randombums yet. mind you, i've not sent any either
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

I'm sending mine out on Monday.
You're not on my list though.
I've had one so far.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

i sent all mine ages ago
and i've only got one so far
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

I haven't got any of mine either :(

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

You're getting one from me.
When I get round to it. It's going to be full of shit and you're going to hate it.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

Fuck you Russel
I bet it's loads of blathering chappy crap, you horrible fake Victorian COCKEND.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

oh great
now you've gone and done it
we're guaranteed a new thread by someone suggesting that they are a postman and that they nicked your stuff
gawd, some people are so selfish
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

insure everything you send over £30
I've been stung by that before, just fork out the extra couple of quid for insurance.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

Insured things still go missing :(

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

I have never had any problems
In fact, just this morning I had a dress delivered.

Surely if it's signed for you can track it and claim, which I believe is the whole point of signed for delivery?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

I got it insured
But only after they had away with the first item. It's not the point though, why should I have to insure everything with them just in case they decide they want it.
Also, how do I know they aren't going to keep the one I get with the insurance. I'm going to request they send it with another service I think.
(

Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

STRING EM ALL UP
THIEVING CUNTS.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

have you considered a job in the police ?

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

Quick, leggit! It's the Minicops

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

staff shortages hit police force.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

You have the right to remain tiny.

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

pfft
you pair of fucking idiots
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

Postman walks from sorting office with package
what will they think of next shocker!
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

If it helps, my PS3 arrived fine
And its ace
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

You cock.
I hope it gets up in the middle of the night and slaughters you after cutting your knob off in the disc tray.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

God, i wish!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

it doesn't have a disc tray
they've thought of everything
(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

Oh.
Then I hope it chokes him with the power cord.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

Which you still haven't let me play
*sadface*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

Well have you asked?
HAVE YOU?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

Yes

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:14, archived)

I do not recall this.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

i fucking love my ps3
i downloaded the infamous demo the other day but ent played it yet
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

i have
it's a bit meh, climban and shootan and that
(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

but i love climban and fightan

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

go play assassins creed then

(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

i was last night actually smart bollocks

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

don't listen to this person above
i played the demo and it convinced me to buy the full game
runny, jumpy, climby, ZAP ZAP ZAP BOOM WHEE!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

yer she does talk bollocks half the time
i'll have a go when i get back from brum and REPORT BACK
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

yeah it's really like i'm playing a generic 3rd person shooter with some blue glowy stuff added in

(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

i don't think it's that generic actually. there are some clever uses of the electrical powers.

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:14, archived)

yeah, grenade, rifle, rocket launcher etc
good stuff
(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

umm, what? there are no actual weapons
you have a standard shock, grenade, something akin to a force push, you can call down a lightning storm and steer it with the sixaxis.
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

i bought mine in a shop, never use it

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

it's got no games anyway

(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

there really has been nothing coming out that i fancy the look of, i've never even put a film in it, i might give it away

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

what they need is a really good fishing game
like that one on the dreamcast
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

i belive there is a fishing game, but typically it's a shitty catching bass game
i might pop up game a bit later, have a look at the ds prices, i'm getting pestered
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

£100 new
preowned about £60 i think...
sell the ps innit
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

meh, i'm not chipping out 200 quid plus games this month

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

I had one before
but get this...it was stolen by a Police man.

Well, ok it was my step dad but he's still a copper.
(

Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

are you some sort of compulsive liar?
what really happens to these 'stolen' items? sold to fund a drug habit?
(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

See QOTW answer
www.b3ta.com/questions/familycodes/post312475
(

Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

so basically you want me to believe you're not a liar
and you provide a QOTW answer as proof?

ಠ_ಠ
(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

Haha
it was worth a shot.
(

Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

OH INTERNET

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

I love Royal Mail.
My postman is a good mate of mine so he signs for my deliveries if I'm not in. Top stuff.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

Shits.
Is it not just your branch?
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

Gutted

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

:D

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

:(
(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

Oh my.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

haha
i love those unfortunate advert screen shots
(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

LOLVERTISING

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

haha

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

Beauty.
Tegans gran just turned to her uncle and instead of asking if he wanted toast on (as in: put in the toaster). She asked "Do you want toast off?".

Oh dear...
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

its a toast off
FIGHT
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

Say it out loud.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

Has it all degraded into an incestuous orgy?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

I hope not.
I'm not there :(
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

Then how do you know?
You whore.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

I got frantic texts from Tegans mum and the uncle.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

Are they really that easily amused?
You need to get out of Fraserburgh fast.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

Fucking tell me about it.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

And?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

This

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6201545
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

I still don't get it

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

Do you want tossed off.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

your accent is shit
it doesn't even sound like that!
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

Right. Phone number. Now.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

hahaahah!
Like I'm daft enough to give you my mobile number!
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

I promise to only send one nude picture.
an hour.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

ah well seeing it's nude pictures
it's 07727.....fuck off.

Sorry, that was rather nasty of me. Don't stop giving me roses ;o)
(

jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Only roses you're getting are dead ones.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

nuke the site from orbit
it's the only way to be sure
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

i dont get it

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

Do you want toast off?
Say it in a Scottish accent if that helps.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

Tenous at best.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

I suppose it's easier in the accent.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

It's still not funny.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

its maffers

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

:(
Et tu Rosie?
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

True.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

Poor maffy waffy :(

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

Hold me broady.
I only tried to share an anecdote. I didn't expect it to turn into an angry, maffers bashing, mob.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

She turned to her son and asked if he wanted tossed off.
If Noits mum did that you wouldn't even giggle?
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

Yeah, except she didn't say that.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

*sigh*

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

?
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=toast%20off
(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

ARGH!!!
:S
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

I very nearly called you a nonce, but then I saw that you're Jobe, not Jenk.
I should pay more attention.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

Thanks.

(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

awesome,
apparently, air france now do flights to the titanic
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

ohhh dear
:)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

JOBE JOBE JOBE
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

Not as cute as you, that.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

I know.
That site should be dedicated to me.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

And we have a winner!

(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

i've seen so many otters in the wild now i'm sick of them

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

Say it ain't so!

(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

i saw more otters mooching around when i was in france than rats, and they scare the fish i''m aiming to catch

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

squeak!
:D
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

Oh

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

I might post somethng inflmmatory on QOTW
just to get Wormys knickers in a twist.

Should I go for racism or lying ? Maybe I could lie about racism ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

Lie about him being racist.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

Hitler was a jew.
Excuse the jack. But does anyone know any working mirrors for b3ta as barnesy no longer exsists. And my work has deemed it to rude.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

You could always try working instead of pissing about on the internet and having the cheek to expect paid for it.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

killjoy.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

I blame the management
or the lack of it.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

sickrik.com
or 207.44.242.20

or if your network admin is really shit you can write a HOSTS file and point the IP address to any domain name you like
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

You sir are a genius...
I tip my hat to you.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

JOORAY! I'M HELPING!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

I'll leave that, I like the idea of a Joo ray

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

Blueray with less storage space.

(

BindiBaji, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

a laser gun with the tip of the barrel cut off

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

You could be racist about lying.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

True
I did meet a Finnish man who was a very good liar.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

isn't that xenophobia?
/pedant
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

shut up

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

sorry.
Mixing the two up is a massive gripe of mine, it may even annoy me more than the whole 'you're not your' thing.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

Apparently my 80 year old mum isn't racist.
She hates all foreigners equally and doesn't like that many British people either. I'm not quite sure what that makes her.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

I'm similar...
I don't let age, race, sex etc get in the way of a good old fashioned bit of contempt. Which is an equality of sorts.

I once heard it described as "the dirty harry school of equality".
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

Excellent
That's what I'll start calling her then, which will be confusing as that's my dad's name. Only normally without the 'dirty'.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

That makes her me.
:/
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

She's very kind to individuals no matter what race they are
but claims to hate everybody. I had a confusing upbringing.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

Start a 'felch Friday' meme on there

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

Foxtrot.
Uniform.
Charlie.
Kilo.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Ham wallet I'd not heard before, till that song.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

How is your vagina these days?
I havent asked in aggggges
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

It's having a few hours off.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

~~having a few hours~~ gone
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

It was thinking about you, it didn't want to take the risk.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

Dare I ask what song?
Or, indeed, what a ham wallet is (although I think I can guess)
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

Whatever the actual song name is by the BloodHound Gang
that goes Foxtrot, Uniform, harlie, Kilo in it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker

Retrofit the pudding hatch
Ooh la la
With the boink swatter

If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so hypothetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten

Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle

Cannonball the fiddle cove
Ooh la la
With the pork steeple

If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so hypothetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where pronto
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

Squish mitten's LOVELY.
I'm using that now.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

*reads more into that than you ever meant*
*crosses legs*
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

Next you'll be following the instructions on the Hooray for Boobies CD

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

I used to have that CD when I was 17.
But I loaned it to the 27 year old I was seeing then I gave her the big fade and forgot to ask for it back.
One fierce beercoaster too :(
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

a fierce beercoaster...?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

One fierce beercoaster was the name of another of BG albums.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

You know she burned it, right? I hear women do that when they get dumped.
Did you ever read what was printed on the CD?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

I don't think I did read it, I can't remember, It's almost 10 years ago :S
Bloody hell.

She probably used it as kindling while burning an effigy of me and chanting curses, the fucking freak.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

Old

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

True.
In one year I'll be the age she was when I was with her. :S
She's 37 now... OLD!!!!!!!!
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

All the cool kids use flag semaphore now

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/9a8441c6e0b73ddb4e32/semaphore2.jpg
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

Lie about how you ninja'd up some racists then sped off in your Honda Accord with your supermodel girlfriend.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

Muuuuum ! TELL THEM I'M NOT RACIST !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

"How can I be racist when my mum does sex with black men ?"

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

how can anyone be racist in shirts that loud?

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

Has he flounced yet?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Who
Gordon Brown ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

i wonder if we'll get john major again

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

Well, sure
Him as well.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

racism was invented in the early 18th century as a protest against the barbaric practice of crumplebooby
its success was unparalleled, as evidenced by the fact that very few people these days have ever heard of crumplebooby. some enthusiasts however choose to remember these noble deeds by carrying the noble practice of racism into the 21st century, in the same vein as morris dancing and historical re-enactment

racism. lest we forget crumplebooby
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

I would like to bring back crumplebooby.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

you sicken me

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

You're worse than Hitler.
You're Hitler's Hitler.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

I'm going for lunch now anyway
It'll have to wait till I get back.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Fuck off

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

you upsetting the natives again?
tut tut tut
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

lol wut
img35.imageshack.us/img35/9369/opticalm.jpg
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

1 pair cheaper than 2 shocker

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

I take three.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

I can't read that.
Too small.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

Maybe you should buy a pair of glasses for half the price of 2 pairs?

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

that actually makes sense

(

well, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

'ello 'ello 'ello. What's all this then? My name is Police Constable rnuk.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to take down your particulars. Would you like to see my truncheon?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

I hope you're being ironically cheesy
but I doubt it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

no thanks.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

No

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

So, who's going to be banged up the slammer this week?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

He'll be slopping out after lights out.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

It'll never stand up in court

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

And who's going down for a long stretch?

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

you leave my particulars alone
you tiny copper.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

no and no, and impersonating a police officer is an offence, no offence, athough it is, no offence
great
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Forum banter

(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

I'll come quietly

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Your address, please?

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

999 Letsby Avenue

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

I thank you.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

There's a Letsby Avenue not far from here, I think.
Hang on, I'll google maps it.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&q=Letsby+Ave,+Norton,+Sheffield+S9+1,+United+Kingdom&vps=1&jsv=160h&sll=53.800651,-4.064941&sspn=12.583143,39.550781&ie=UTF8&ct=clnk&cd=1&geocode=FbK_LgMd0bnq_w&split=0

EDITED DUE TO COMPLETE SPACKTARDERY
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Fail

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Oh for fuck's sake. Hang on.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

There.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

well worth the wait that one

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

Thanks.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

Oh my
there really is some sort of police building at the western end of it, isn't there?
(here)
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Oh christ, I never saw that.
Pfffft.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

It's where Sheffield's Police helicopters are based.
I've been there.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

or maybe here
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Mine's better.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

Bollocks, my link worked first time & everything

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

Yeah, but fuck off.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Fair point

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

’ello ‘ello ‘ello
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

yay! i was gonna do that!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

Give us a go, then.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

*gives*

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

nein danke.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Nope.
You're no DCI Gene Hunt.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

That pansy's got nothing on me.
He was nearly crying at the end of Monday's episode, the great soft prat.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

He can take down my particulars any time he likes.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

This.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

I'm bigger and better than DCI Gene Hunt
AND his dad.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

You really aren't.
I'd detect his garibaldis anyday. And by 'detect his garibaldis' I mean 'suck his penis'.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

Hahaha

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

My penis looks just like DCI Gene Hunt.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

*buys brown coat*

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

Don't forget the crocskin boots.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

oh blue star :(((
he fucking munts
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

Noooo
He gives us the proper wronghorn.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

True.
But it's all about attitude.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

So that's a draw then.
lolololol.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

Oh god yeah.
No-one is, though.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

I talk exactly like him when I'm pissed up

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Hurray!
*moves to Gilgy's house*
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

shut it bolly knickers or I'll hang you out the window by your knicker elastic

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

Oh my

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

Why does he keep calling her bols?
What does that mean?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

After Bollinger champagne, 'cos she's posh.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

Ah.
I'd very much like to sex DI Drake. DCI Gene Hunt could watch if he wanted.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Keeley Hawes looks ridiculous outside Ashes to Ashes.
Who told her that her hair looked good on that advert where her eyebrows go all mental and she's pretending to be thick?
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

He muddles his vowels
& she has MASSIVE testicles
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

~~'re no DI~~ ~~Gene H~~.
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

ha ha ha

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Dear me
I hope that's extendable, or you'll do nothing but disappoint anyone.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

Hello cunt stubble

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

I did it!
WHOO! I now look a grade A twat. HURRAH.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

a twat eh? as opposed to...?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

Only a slight twat.

(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

What?

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

I put silly purple tubing in my hair
Hurrah for hair falls.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Ah

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

207.44.242.20/talk/6201426
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

No
But if you could give me ideas on where to go for a long weekend that would be lovely.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

A short pier.
No, wait...
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

Bognor Regis

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

I hate you

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

*bums*

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

Elgin

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

I hate you too

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

Oban?

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

Birchington

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Berlin

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

Thank you for a serious answer
However the people I am going with have just been so probably won't want to go again so soon.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

Southall on Sea

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

walton on the naze

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

Melbourne

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

That crazy golf place near you, with £150 in 50p coins.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

We've got a live one here people.
Ready the Brigades
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post440334

Scroll down...
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

Does this form part of your planned ULTIMATE FLOUNCE?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

I was so purturbed by that, that I had to take a sophadeen and have a lay-down.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

i really can't be arsed
owt interesting?
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Haha, yeah, you've made a 'Legless' comedy account.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

keep your cross board wankery to yourself.
I DON'T CARE HOW THE REST OF THE WEBSITE RUNS, STOP MAKING THIS PLACE A PLACE FOR BACKSTABBING AND WITTERING.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

i think youre all cunts

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

He shows his bumhole for pennies.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

ive no need to pay for bumhole

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

i fucking love you've been bumholed

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

this is life, touch my bum

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

I was going through the flounce list earlier
your reply at the bottom of this one made me laugh
www.b3ta.com/talk/5788560
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

its true :(

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

n e

yes very good, I show my bumhole for penis

laughs all round, great.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

it's a privilege to see GMoS's bumhole, I'll have you know
it's golden and birdsong comes out of it.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Besides, everyone knows offtopic is populated solely by dull spastic liar cunts.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

cross board wankery
leave them to it, why have a go at somewhere you clearly don't want to go.

INTERXENOPHOBIA,
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Well said, sir

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Whatever.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

I'm touching my nipples.
You like that, don't you.
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

Way ahead of you.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

I'm probably being stupid here
online ... but which one is "the live one" ?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I'm guessing
the "I vote BNP but I'm not racist" genius.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

This was my take

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

well, yeah, duh.
but why did you say "scroll down" ?

They didn't do or say anything more retarded than the inital post. I want my money back.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

oh, hang on, they have now. I'm going in, chaps.
Carry on.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »