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Please sign
This is Bruce's story

coldwetnose.blogspot.com/2009/07/innocent-bruce-is-due-to-die-on-monday.html

Please sign the petition below and maybe he will be saved.

www.thepetitionsite.com/1/BRING-BRUCE-HOME-X
(limon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:28, archived)

Yes, online petitions ALWAYS work.

(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

yeah right, fuck Bruce

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

this ^
why do some people believe the law only applies to others?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)

Who the feck is bruce?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:30, archived)

for 24 years you've been living next door to bruce

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)

OMG SO WHO'S GOING FOR THE 10 MILLION GET ON BOARD?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:30, archived)

He looks like he'd enjoy biting a baby.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

Personnally I'd just get hardcore legal help and not a petition.

Such as proving he's a 100% staffy with DNA evidence. Then they had to give him back. simple.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)

I'd say that they can't so they haven't

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)

You can't prove dog breeds with DNA, unfortunately.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:40, archived)

Well tell them to prove it's a pit bull then

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

They can't.
They go by looks, not temperment, which is a pile of shit.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

Oh no:(
For fuck's sake, will people cop on that Staffies are not fucking pit bulls. I live in the Republic, I'll have him.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

I can help.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

anyone with a user number over 70,000 is a shitcunt
/ac

further proof is no longer required
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

7 1
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)

fact
but also terrible internet bullying here
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

We need cr3 to implement the "hide" button for users over this number.
Where's your Bugs and features suggestion post that got a lot of fat people upset?
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

BAM!
b3ta.com/questions/bugs_and_feature_requests/post201115
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

Can we save him?
Not with an internet petition.
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:34, archived)

can't they just get another dog that looks similar?

(

well, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)

I would like to ask POLICE DOG's view on this matter.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)

ba ....

rk.....
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

Gotcha. Fuck him right?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

Fuck that
it's illegal for them to own that dog, people don't get let off drug or rape charges because of petitions.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

this is not a new thread
www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue385/
(

rob, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:17, archived)

barkbarkbark

(Police Dog bark bark bark, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

shhh policedog he's not here to steal your dinner, just deliver the newsletter

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)

And steal his dinner

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)

Policedog can tell that as a ginger he has no soul
*lets police dog off lead*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

you know, its remarkable how police dog looks in no way like donkey gums.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)

Recent photo of police dog at police dog academy
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

No way would an Afghan be a police dog, they're far too up their own arses.
I always see PD as a GSD.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)

there's a list of dog breeds sorted by intelligence on Wikipedia.
Afghans come last.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

They're beautiful, but arseholes to do anything with.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:34, archived)

They must be hilarious dogs.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)

hilarious and terrible in equal measure.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

Indeed. I'm a gorgeous human and PD is a sexy German Shepherd
I'm not upset by the mix up though, I get you confused with boulders all the time.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

Gingers have souls
But souls are easily damaged by UV light.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:23, archived)

bark
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)

26 is quite old for a dog, you know.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

Not if it's in dog years.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

I said
www.b3ta.com/talk/6272888
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)

Wooo!
nyuk nyuk nyuk
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:23, archived)

Hmm.
www.b3ta.com/board/9560666
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

Can't find it...
I am looking for a Vid that I think was posted on here ages ago (may even have made one of the newsletters). I vaguely remember a guy sitting behind a piano singing about how when you die even the worst people are remembered as saints... comedy

Anyone know what I am talking about?

Edit: Thanks guys. It was Chasers - War on Everything - top blokes after death
(humming bird attack sgbiyhrq, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:45, archived)

I'd like to distance myself from the inevitable onslaught which will follow this post.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:46, archived)

~~distance myself from the inevitable onslaught which will follow this post.~~
teach the world to sing
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:47, archived)

Friz does the poncing with a piano thing
ask him
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:46, archived)

It was someone from Chaser's War on Everything

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:51, archived)

Nope.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:46, archived)

sounds like one of koit's anims
i think i've seen the one you're talking about
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:46, archived)

It's from an aussie show
"Everyone is a top bloke after death".
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:48, archived)

www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=top+bloke+after+death&meta=&aq=0&oq=top+bloke+aft
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:48, archived)

It's okay. He won't thank you.

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:51, archived)

That's it..
you are a fucking legend!!
(humming bird attack sgbiyhrq, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:49, archived)

Oh fuck, you did thank him
Well done.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:51, archived)

oh!
after googling, that is the thing i was thinking of too. not a koit anim
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:50, archived)

I've seen it too. I think its by somebody from New Zealand or Australia if that helps your search.
Some singer who had the topical news spot on somebodies TV show.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:48, archived)

woo!
i finished the jigsaw and am now EVEN MORE OFFICIALLY better than the rest of you
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:51, archived)

Not really.
You're sat alone.

Doing a jigsaw.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:54, archived)

i'm at work actually
i'm not sure if that makes it better or worse

but anyway, i was only killing time until the staff barbecue. time to grab a burger and fuck off home. BYE INTERNET.
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:56, archived)

See how alone you are?
The staff won't even let you STAY for the BBQ. You have to run off home :(

Oh rhcpaul.

So lonely :(
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)

So, up to anything exciting tonight or this weekend?
Friday tedium seems to be kicking in and i find my enthusiasm for work failing faster than piston broke in Jongleurs.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:30, archived)

I'm supposed to be composing some traditional greek style music

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)

Meeting Trev's girlfriend with the girls
then it's eldest girl's birthday on Sunday.
(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)

Is she hot?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)

Trev thinks so

(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)

What about his girlfriend?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:46, archived)

Tonight - wash, polish & wax the car
Tomorrow - going to Silverstone
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)

Nothing planned.
Yay!
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)

Oh wait I'm working.
Shit.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)

Crying into a pint of beer after I let The Woman spend forty quid on cheese.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)

Oh rnuk, you need to put your foot down sometimes.
And get your trousers back off her.
(

Jobe, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:33, archived)

It's to feed 14 people
and the total meal and wine is going to cost about four hundred. Win, I reckon. Sort of.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)

wouldn't it be cheaper to eat out?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)

No.
Her dad is paying.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)

You're my kinda guy!
*high non-paying fives*
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:46, archived)

£40 worth of cheese though
mmmm
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)

Dairylea triangles

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)

Fuck yeah.
www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/png/8522.picture1.png
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)

ok you beat me but ONLY BY 9 MINUTES

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:55, archived)

Working...lots.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)

woo independence day

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)

We didnt want America anyway
:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)

Best film ever!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:45, archived)

John Lewis: Wedding present list

(

Jobe, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)

Hurray, they've added Irish as a language to Facebook, yay!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:34, archived)

is it now called FECKBOOK?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)

hahahahahaah
That made me snort, thank you DG:D
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)

No problemo. That's what I get paid....for....hold on, WHY AM I NOT BEING PAID FOR THIS SHIT?!?!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)

*frisbees another biscuit*

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)

oh num num num num

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)

They've added an Irish Office Assistant to Microsoft Word as well.
"It looks like yer trying to write a letter, yeh bollix."
(

FoldsFive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:45, archived)

Long Frog Says:

               ___    ___                        
              (@  )__(  @)          I HATE DG   ...AND BLACKS          
             /            \          /            
            ( ____________ )                     
           /\_____________/\       
          /                 \                    
         / |              |  \                   
        /  |  |        |  |   \                  
       /   |  |        |  |    \                 
      (    |  |        |  |     )                
 ______\   |  |        |  |    /______           
[__________|  |________|  |___________]          
           |  |        |  |
           |  |        |  |
           |  |        |  |
           |  |        |  |
           |  |        |  |
           |  |        |  |          
           VWWV        VWWV

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:34, archived)

Is the frog wearing VWWV knuckledusters?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)

He hates me (and black people) and wants to give our ears a boxing :'(
I hate you Long Frog :(
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:37, archived)

Maybe he's the long and close-minding toad

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)

work work work
paint paint paint
pack pack pack
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:34, archived)

Drinking some fine beers and wiring up some electronic gadgetry tonight
Testing gadgetry tomorrow
Searching for some ideal carving woods on sunday
(

M o D, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:37, archived)

not
laughing at people dressed as brides who get raped (by murderers) or murdered (by rapists).

or something.
(

ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:39, archived)

Going out with Double F and his old work colleagues tonight
and then going here tomorrow with Double F, Druid, King of The Pigeons and my niece.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:39, archived)

Aw MAN! I want to go to 404land :'(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:41, archived)

I know! File Not Found are my favourite band!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)

Hey baby, you're so hard to resist!
And I'm gonna rock your world!
But maybe the page don't exist!
Or maybe you mistyped the URL!
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:47, archived)

you're only saving one letter compared to typing his whole name

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)

you could call him "folds folds folds folds FOLDS"
or f5. or "fat man's tum, four plus one"
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:45, archived)

Cutting A1 pieces of card into 5 x 5mm squares.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:39, archived)

Blue Star sandwich!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)

not 5 x 5mm rectangles.
important distinction.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:44, archived)

Going out with Double F and his old work colleagues tonight
and then going LINKFAIL www.godivafestival.co.uk/ tomorrow with Double F, Druid, King of The Pigeons and my niece.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)

Aw MAN! I want to go to the repeated post festival :'(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)

FUCK OFF DG
MY INTERNETS HERE IS RUBBISH

*GLARES*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:49, archived)

i'm going to be oppressed online
and marginalised by society
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)

Well here's some total non-news:
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8132547.stm

Who on earth decides to publish this rubbish on a reputable news site?
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:29, archived)

I don't know,
who decided to link it on here?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:30, archived)

ducks
they run around in the internet putting things where they should be not
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:41, archived)

On the subject of tramps and time...
What the hell is it with tramps and time?

I noticed someone told a story of a tramp asking for the time while standing under a hucking fuge clock.

Walking to the station this evening, a tramp asked me for the time outside Woolies at Town Hall Station.

Why the fuck would you want to know the time, if you were a homeless hobo? Time for Tramps Anonymous? Happy hour at the pub?

WHY do these useless pieces of human trash want to know the time?

I don't wear a watch, I don't need one with mobiles, outlook and an alarm clock at home, that's all I need.
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:13, archived)

Fuck off, you piece of shit.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:13, archived)

Tramps are quantum fluctuations.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:14, archived)

I don't wear a watch,
I don't need to, because it doesn't matter what time it is.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:18, archived)

What if you need to be somewhere?

(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:18, archived)

I go there.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:19, archived)

er, you go there, when you need to.

People survived for several hundred thousand years without watches. Why suddenly need them now?
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:20, archived)

"approximately morning", "approximately afternoon" and "approximately evening" are good enough for me, anyway.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:21, archived)

Do you not feel bad if you are late somewhere
And leave people waiting for you?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:25, archived)

no,
everyone I know is usually equally late.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:26, archived)

Meh, now that everyone has a mobile
as soon as you are one minute late, they ring you up. Pillocks.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:27, archived)

I don't have one.
double win.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)

Excatly. Sun up = go to work. Sun down = go home. No need for extra clock-on-hand to shown I can spend $5,000 on small clock-on-hand.
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:26, archived)

You know you're not forced to spend 5 grand on a watch, don't you?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:27, archived)

No, not forced to spend that much. Some people do, of course, to show that they are fancy people from magazine ads, who wear a watch from a company that sponsors frikkin' airplane races to show how important they are.

I guess people like that need to know the time, frequently.

What the hell is it with knowing the time? Seriously, is it that bloody important?
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)

Shut up Adrian.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uouDt_LQTy0
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS5P6GcUC4s&NR=1
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:41, archived)

No. It's a status symbol, or more often, an aspirational gesture expressed through consumption.
Your argument could just as well be about big fancy cars or large houses. Mostly unnecessary, but some people like them.

However, you have chosen to dress up your argument with strange, obscure insults directed at the homeless, the majority of whom have mental problems. Is it any wonder they ask the time? They're probably just grateful for the human interaction. Except with you, you disgusting lizard.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:37, archived)

Clickedy click.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:48, archived)

To catch a train, or a plane, or know when something's on the telly, or so that they have a concrete argument
against the landlord when he tells you to drink up. You wannabe-maverick.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:26, archived)

all rare occasions for me,
but I know how long it takes to get places, so I just look at the time of my last b3ta post and work from that.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:29, archived)

Is this the transcript of Piston's stand up?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:14, archived)

CORINOCO
pushing me down the board so you dont have to since 2009
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)

Maybe they need to know what time to be there so they can annoy you.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)

GET OUT

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:16, archived)

corinoco down in acapulco

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:16, archived)

Pink bird fits w/ seal and diver.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)

so it does
i've got the bull, go karter and lady on a sunbed attached to each other now too
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:34, archived)

You were imagining the tramp
On account of you being too pissed to realise that you were in fact talking to yourself in a mirror.
(Purple_Monkey_Jingles Purple Monkeys need love too, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:16, archived)

Wow.
This must be the 'I Love Tramps' side of b3ta. How odd.
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)

No.
It's the 'corinoco is shit' side.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:23, archived)

Why are tramps "useless pieces of human trash" exactly?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:24, archived)

He's just jealous because they always wear hats and he has a funny shaped-head that looks like a bell-end.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:25, archived)

Why are they NOT?
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:25, archived)

Wow.
That's impressive.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:27, archived)

You're right. There's no such thing as victims of circumstance.
They chose to live on the streets because, fuck it, it's a laugh. No bills. No chores. And there's always a divvy cunt somewhere who knows the time.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:30, archived)

What he said.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)

Yep,it's as I suspected.
You're a wanker.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)

Oh, by the way...
nice comebackery. I haven't heard that since I was about 5.
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:25, archived)

i'm going to go ahead and assume that was more recent for you than any of the rest of us

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:37, archived)

You were pissed when you were 5?
Suddenly this all makes sense.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:39, archived)

what?
fuck off!
(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:19, archived)

all tramps are actually time travellers

(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)

they all know a lot more about theoretical physics than you'd expect.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:23, archived)

No, only ones called 'Catweazle' with pet frogs called 'Touchwood'.

Oh, Worzel Gummidge probably counts, too.
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)



            )    (   |                                        
            )    (  /    .-                                   
     _ ,---. _   ( /    /    I JUST SMOKED A FUCK TON OF CRACK                                 
   (~-| . . |-~)  V    /      /                                 
    \._  V  _,/       /                                       
     / `-^-'`-._     /                                        
    '           `-. (                                         
   :               )E                                         
   :          ,---' (   
    .            )E (   
     '._____,---'   (   
            )       (                                         
            )       (                                         
            )       (                                         
            )       (

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:23, archived)

         _.-'~~~~~~`-._
        /      ||      \
       /       ||       \
      |        ||        |
      | _______||_______ |
      |/ ----- \/ ----- \|
     /  (     )  (     )  \
    / \  ----- () -----  / \
   /   \      /||\      /   \ _____ In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary, "Come again?"
  /     \    /||||\    /     \
 /       \  /||||||\  /       \
/_        \o========o/        _\
  `--...__|`-._  _.-'|__...--'
          |    `'    |

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)

hooray for tramps
and there but for the grace of "insert deity of choice" go you!
(

Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:29, archived)

I just typed, to say I
wish a rain of pestilence and face-aids upon you.
(Turn that bloody gramaphone down has incorrect spelling in her username *WINS*, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:45, archived)

Ive been sent home from work ILL!
so now Im watching the tennis and sweating up a nice smelly puddle of manfluid in my shorts.
Temperature of 97 FTW

Piston brokes stand up is actually fucking awful actually, I maintain this.

Whats in your wallet?
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)

5 euros, 10 pounds, various cards, tesco vouchers, chewing gum.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)

chewing gum in your wallet?
I have a six month old bus ticket in mine
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:14, archived)

- Lots of cards (Only 3 of which are actually useful - My NUS card, Driving licence and bank card)
- Lots of bits of paper, with stuff written on
- Not as much money as I'd like

Edit: 4 useful cards actually. I also forgot my Oyster.
(Purple_Monkey_Jingles Purple Monkeys need love too, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)

well my purse has a load of coins in it.
my handbag contains a notebook and pen, a comb, a compass, and a Gerber multitool.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)

this is the best handbag inventory ever
would you mind having a word with UnstableMrs so that next time we need to find something in her bag it doesnt take more than ten fucking minutes?
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:17, archived)

Mine has my keys, my wallet
my phone, my passport and a pen. Oh and sometimes a USB stick.

S'it. Nowt more.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:18, archived)

also good handbagging
not to be mixed up with teabagging
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:20, archived)

Loyalty/points cards to Boots, Waterstones
HMV, Game, Matalan and the Hello Kitty shop in Bluewater. My debit card, my cash card, my library card, my Asda colleague discount card, a Nero stamp card and a coffee loyalty card from McDonalds full of stickers that I need to use.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:16, archived)

dunno
money I hope.
(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:17, archived)

wrong,
I have replaced your money with photos of Sikrik
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:19, archived)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
I used the money to give Piston stand up lessons
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:26, archived)

Debit cards
EHIC,
AA Card,
Driving Licence,
Business Cards (not mine),
NI Card,
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:26, archived)

HTC Magic or iPhone 3GS
You deciiiide?
(empty_personality, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:36, archived)

Brown bread ice cream

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:36, archived)

Just in case anybody forgot

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

ahahahahahahahahahaahahaha!

(empty_personality, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)

I like this.

(empty_personality, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)

Brown sauce ice cream
I'd buy that
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

brown bear ice cream
dangerous!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:42, archived)

Feisty!
Brown baby ice cream. Chavvy.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:46, archived)

in a related matter
i can't do this jigsaw at all!
www.smart-kit.com/games/jigsaw/
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:04, archived)

That's no jigsaw
It's just bits of stuff
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)

yeah, but they fit together
it's really hard!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)

I've got two bits stuck together

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:09, archived)

which two?!
or have you printed it out and prittsticked two bits?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:09, archived)

People having a picnic and you stick a bloke fishing in a boat to the right of it

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)

got those two and now the kid on a moped on top of the fishing man

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)

The pineapple sticks to the bottom of the guy on the jetski.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:16, archived)

oh yeah, and the two trees attach to that mess
i'm on a ROLL now motherfuckers
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:20, archived)

Ooh this is fun. I have got 4 together.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)

alright, smart arse!
help me!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:19, archived)

I fucking love brown bread ice cream.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)

I only like it if it comes from The Belfry in Birchington

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:56, archived)

Yeah

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

I'm watching the Top Gear review of the Z4.
It's going annoyingly well.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

Z4M is the only non-hairdresser model in that range.

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:38, archived)

what?
fuck off.
(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

haha, i wish you were a presenter on the gadget show

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:42, archived)

I would be terrible
'what's this?'
'it's shit'
'fuck off'
(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:45, archived)

But it goes beep!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:47, archived)

RUBBISH!

(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:53, archived)

Lesbian

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

i'd watch it!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:54, archived)

I'm gonna go with... neither
Nokia 3210 is where it's at.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)

My first mobile phone had a pull out aerial and took proper AA batteries for when the rechargeable pack ran out.
It was a Motorola Memphis and was shit.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)

MY first mobile phone had a case for its battery.

(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

Haha I had something similar
motorola-d520, an awful phone.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:45, archived)

i was pretty good at snake

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:43, archived)

i always wondered if something special happened
if you ever managed to completely fill the screen.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:05, archived)

3330,
because it was slightly smaller, and you could change the back cover as well as the front.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

I have an HTC Touch HD
I like it.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)

Magic.
I have a G1 and it's ace.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)

I'd like a 3GS
I like my Nokia E71, it's good and not gimmicky
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)

I was offered a free can of Apple Tango
and thought to my self "Ooo, not had on of those in years, drink it!"
and quickly realised why I hadn't drunk one in years.. it's shit.
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)

the magic one
i like magic
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:42, archived)

i love my magic
the interface isn't quite as polished as the iphone's, but it is much more flexible, especially if you don't own a mac

it has an ssh client. that has been a killer app for me
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:47, archived)

which isn't to say that the interface isn't pretty damned good
for it is
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:48, archived)

Can you get a good range of apps for HTC phones?

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:52, archived)

well it runs android
and the android marketplace is incredibly convenient

apart from the magic and the g1, most htc phones run windows mobile. i have no idea what software is like on winmob, but i would guess it's got a lot of mature apps
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:37, archived)

I dont even know the model number of my phone
It makes calls and sends texts and has a good battery life. Thats enough for me.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:48, archived)

no thanks

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:57, archived)

WHO CARES

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

GOOD POINT
HELLO BLUE STAR
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

Hello lovelyface.
I'm great. My appraisers told me so and my consultant told me so

*does the 'I'm fucking GREAT' dance*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:10, archived)

i can say without hesitation:
iphone

i can say this because i flipped a coin and it came up tails
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

No, YOU decide.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)

Cups and string covered in bling. That's what I use daaaaaawg

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:04, archived)

cups and string, covered in bling
that's what girls are made of
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:09, archived)

White or brown bread?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:02, archived)

Hovis best of both - Sliced
Edit:- Tiger bread is the best of all unsliced though
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:03, archived)

I've struggled through some more of Piston's stand up
He swears far to much without any context to it, this may be nerves though.
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

I got half a minute in and nearly vomitted
I must get around to emailing that to the people i dislike.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)

Link?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:15, archived)

Popular page.
Don't be so lazy.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:16, archived)

I doubt very much that piston broke is on the popular page.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:17, archived)

POPULAR PAGE!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:18, archived)

www.jamescartercomedy.com/
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:16, archived)

*clicks*
I dont want this to ever leave the popular page

Poor comedy, always in r harts:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:18, archived)

POPULAR PAGE!!!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:19, archived)

1.25
*stops listening*
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:19, archived)

'Freelance'

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:18, archived)

he did not make the website himself
it's somebody else taking the piss
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:20, archived)

Oh good.
Still, he's terrible.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:21, archived)

yes indeedy

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:36, archived)

Brown.
With yummy seeds in it.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:03, archived)

When you get to my advanced age
you'll avoid that as it ruins fillings.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:04, archived)

Breaks teeth totally

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)

Does the captain get distracted from his thrusting momentum if you're munching on a bit of granary then?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)

Sigh
ar n
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:06, archived)

*snort*
See this is the sort of thing the popular page is designed for.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

Only if he gets between me and the food.
I read that as granny.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

I have no fillings.
*smugs*
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:06, archived)

Thats what i had for lunch
Stupid seeds getting stuck in my teeth.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:04, archived)

This stuff has pumpkin seeds. Nom nom.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:06, archived)

And this!

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

Oh, you.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)

There's a sandwich van that comes round to work
that sells little bags of pumpkin seeds, which are vanilla flavoured. They are nyom and if I'm careful I can eat those.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)

Oooh.
They're very good for you.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:21, archived)

I'll send you a pack, they are really very nice
next time they have some I'll gaz you and get your address.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:23, archived)

Ooh, thank you!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:27, archived)

And this!

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

OOCLOLCLICK!

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

This will no doubt end with someone of little brain calling you racist
Wholemeal as you ask.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)

I prefer wholemeal for most things
but you can't beat a nice fresh crusty white loaf for bacon butties.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:06, archived)

I don't like crusty bread solely for the reason that I'm too lazy to expend all that energy eating it

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

You need all the exercise you can get at my age.

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)

A light dodder is more than enough

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:12, archived)

I await with barely concealed joy the usual crowd of bleaters banging out about how awful i am

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)

You are an appalling cunt and no mistake

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:08, archived)

I am all thats wrong with the world

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)

I quite like you.
You look after me on my first ever bash.
(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)

Careful.
You'll ruin his reputation.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:16, archived)

It's because I'm a terrible woman
:oD
(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:17, archived)

Terrible parent

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:19, archived)

I forgot you have an internet reputation too.
Very serious thing that.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:20, archived)

I am proud of how much i cause some people to get over excited and rage filled:)

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:20, archived)

I didnt once penetrate you either.
Well, i dont think so, it was quite a drunken evening:D
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:19, archived)

White.
I'm part of the Bread National Party
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)

WHOLEMEAL NOT HATE
*placards*
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:08, archived)

*picards*

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:10, archived)

I ain't racist! I got loads of braaan friends, like that smelly bloke daaan the curry 'ouse.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:14, archived)

not that fussed. usually wholemeal.

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:06, archived)

ugh, kool aid :(
I look like I just got done fisting a smurf
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:06, archived)

I beg your pardon?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)

have you been soaking your hand in it then?
weirdo
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)

takes one to know one :p

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:17, archived)

Zing!

(

FoldsFive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:21, archived)

Oooh i think i shall make some black ehrry kool aid when i get home
Or maybe some of the clear stuff...
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:12, archived)

I prefer a granary loaf, topped with a seed from every edible type of seed known to man.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)

Coconut?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:12, archived)

Yes.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:14, archived)

You've been in europe too long
Time to calm down, son.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:18, archived)

After travelling around the Balkans
I need as much non-meat foodstuffs as I can get at the moment. All they eat is meat. Meat meat meat meat meat. Just meat. I never thought I'd say it, but it was almost unbearable.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:21, archived)

They eat meat.
*doodoodoodoodoodoodoo*
They think it's neat.
*doodoodoodoodoodoodoo*
They eeeeeeat meat.
*doodoodoodoodoodoodoo*
They think it's neat.
*doodoodoodoodoodoodoo*
No sweet
*doo doo*
Just meat
*doo doo*
I gotta poo
*doo doodoo do doo doo doooooo*
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:22, archived)

My mum went to romania a few years ago
For breakfast they gave her some pork fat and a tomato
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:23, archived)

this is a better breakfast than you might think.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:25, archived)

If you haven't eaten for several weeks

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:28, archived)

whatever i feel like
i like the ever-giving joy of not having the same thing every day

i draw the line at vinegary german bread though. those germans are weird
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:14, archived)

Does anyone know
what font they use on the BBC News webpage?
(

claptonista ,the idiot boy..........🫥, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

JMG.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

wanna download that font

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, archived)

It's VERY offensive.
98.5% of b3ta can't even see it.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:15, archived)

Well at least I know how you feel now
:(
(

Jobe, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:17, archived)

<jmg> </jmg>

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:26, archived)

Also, I was disappointed not to see any alt text.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:26, archived)

That's in JMG font too.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:31, archived)

It definitely says something
there is text there.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:32, archived)

the best font ever whilst Piston Comic Sans is the worst

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:07, archived)

Did you manage to watch the whole Piston_Broke set?
You're more man than me.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)

Noone will furnish me with a link to the video.
This represents a most distressing downturn in RR popularity.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:10, archived)

here you go
www.jamescartercomedy.com/

has to be seen to be believed.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)

I love you Ty
Despite what everyone says about you, you're alright.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

you say that now but you have not seen it yet
I could barely watch it and had to have it on sound alone.

its that bad
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:14, archived)

I'm one minute in.
A small part of me is withering and dying with every passing second.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:15, archived)

is it your knob?

(

RedStar returneth, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:15, archived)

its kinda like that bit in star wars when ben kenobi feels a planet die
watching that video, part of me feels pain as he goes out of his way to kill comedy.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:16, archived)

I got as far as him saying "I've got my notes here"
then closed the window and punched myself in the eyes and ears.
(

RedStar returneth, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:18, archived)

I could only get through it by pausing every time I wanted him to stop talking.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:19, archived)

haha I think I used this technique.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)

I can't through it at all

(

RedStar returneth, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

YOU'RE TURNING TO MUSH!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:30, archived)

you wimps
i watched it all from beginning to end
it was rubbish, in case you've heard different
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:31, archived)

No, it's beyond that.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:41, archived)

now you go and put it on facebook
releasing that upon the world is not nice.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:47, archived)

I'm feeling misanthropic.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:48, archived)

thats all well and good but they possibly dont mind

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:48, archived)

I propose it be put on an endless loop on the telly at the next CHBASHOMG.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:56, archived)

And I always said such nice things about you :(
If you do that you'll have to be prepared to have the other TV running with CHB on The Weakest Link on repeat.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:00, archived)

he was on weakest link?
no wai!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:01, archived)

Oh wai.
Definitely wai. And some other quiz shows too.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)

the captns weakest link
was it his bladder?
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:06, archived)

did he win anything?
my housemate was on brainteaser
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:08, archived)

er
what does everyone think?

/gets all paranoid
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:19, archived)

I am loving the face floating about in the corner of that site

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:26, archived)

I managed up to 1:17
Feels like a a small part of me died watching that
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:37, archived)

Credit where is due though
At least he had the balls to give it a go
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:40, archived)

shame he did not have the brain to realise the material was awful.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:48, archived)

^this
When did my first stand up my arse was snapping like an angry snake.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:49, archived)

do you think he should give it another go?

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:53, archived)

I feel a liitle sick now
I managed 1min 20secs.

I'm off to pour bleach in my eyes and ears.

Though, at least he had the balls to try. I could never do that.
(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:41, archived)

But is that a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm sure many people who don't have the balls to try know that it's because they will be shit (myself included)
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:44, archived)

Don't know unless you try
He was dire, but he had a go.
(

jenpots, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:48, archived)

he's got more of my respect
but it's made me want to avoid him a bit more.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:51, archived)

this is a good summary

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:02, archived)

I saw it on YouTube but it was removed.
Somebody must surely have a copy, though.
It could strip paint.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)

piston comic?
two words that really should not be put together.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:09, archived)

Sans Piston
on the other hand...
(

RedStar returneth, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

Here you go
www.revelate.com.es/de/papers/bbc_review.html
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:57, archived)

This.
(

Jobe, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:57, archived)

Verdana

(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:58, archived)

Unless you're referring to the logos, then you have a fat chance of getting your hands on that.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

I always thought it was Gill Sans

(

RedStar returneth, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:01, archived)

FONTMONG™ GOT UPSET AND DELETED IT

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)

I think it's their own special variant of it,
you'd have to have a keen eye to tell the difference though.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)

I used to have the design specification of the logo on a lurvley gate fold pamphlet thing
that the bbc sent me, so I think you are right, and not a font mong.
(

RedStar returneth, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:15, archived)

Comic sans

(

Jobe, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

Wingdings

(

Jobe, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

+ please

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

IMPACT

(

Jobe, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

Courier New

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:01, archived)

What is a font?
Anybody know? Please help...
(

McMookMac Crush Proof, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:02, archived)

Ask /board
without an image in a new post
(

RedStar returneth, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)

It's somethig you lay your baby in and it means thata youa LOVEA DA JESUS!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:04, archived)

It's something that punches jukeboxes and says, "Eeey" a lot.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, archived)

is it like really short fondant?

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)

it's one of many words that can appear when batman punches someone

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:35, archived)

Does anyone know why we are over 1/2 way through 2009
Yet there have only been 9 editions of BOFH? Normally we'll have 20 or more by this point :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:09, archived)

BOFH?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:10, archived)

Bastard Operator From Hell
www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)

because, and I can't emphasise this enough
you touch yourself at night

/BOFH?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

because bofh is shit?
it might be therapeutic if you're on tech support, but it stinks of whiney little men who aren't getting any
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:22, archived)

ME, FATTIES! ME.
I'm full of flu.
Who'd like to somehow get a dole reference in before you rattle off a few dinners?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:54, archived)

i have never had flu

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

friday is pub lunch day,m fuck yeah

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

I want a pub lunch.
PLUNCH
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

I CAN HELP

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

LIES
You're like a thousand miles away or summat.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

*lobster paws*

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:57, archived)

get here right now, spazzytits

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:57, archived)

Dawwwww, OK
*starts running, arms flailing wildly*

SEE YOU IN 8-10 WEEKS
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

YAY
*goes to wait in pub*
(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:04, archived)

We should set up one.
WITH OUR SECRET INTERNET FRIEND CLUB.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

*taps nose*
*secret handshake*
*breakdancing competition*
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:58, archived)

cor.
I have salmon for sandwiches in the fridge but I might give in and have a burrito.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

BURRRRRRRRRRIIIITTTOOOOO
/gir voice
(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:57, archived)

hee hee hee
I saw a girl with a Gir tattoo the other day. Cuuuute.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:58, archived)

all she had to do is add the L
and her letter a month tattoo would be complete
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

i want a gir outfit for sackboy.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:04, archived)

MAKE IT HAPPEN, BITCHES.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)

dawww

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)

NO I WANT TWO.
dog and robot. and maybe red-eye DUTY gir too.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

I have hankering for KFC
This is bad.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)

oooh yummers
with that fantastically unhealthy gravy.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)

Silly spangles
KFC is not sunday dinner
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:04, archived)

it is if you come from Croydon

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)

I assume that the "2 veg" portion of the meal
comes from the coleslaw and baked bean side dishes?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:14, archived)

silly max.
chips is veg.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:14, archived)

so, TWO PORTIONS of chips.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:15, archived)

Nah ahh
Chips count as roast potatoes
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:19, archived)

I've got some dinners here
I'm going to dole them out now.
(

NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

Oh my.
That's in really poor taste.
(

Jobe, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

*Pavilion applause*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

I feel sick Jammers
but it's not serious enough for me to go home. I think I could just vom and it'd be fine.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

but its friday!
you could have a long weekend!
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:58, archived)

Are you going to use your gyro to host a swine flu party?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)

I've just had my flight on Air Asia from Stansted to Kuala Lumpur upgraded to XL (Business Class) free of charge
all because i took a cheeky shot at asking if they could do it as they had moved my flight about, causing me to miss a day of my trip.

Suffice to say i'm grinning from ear to right now :D

Is anything currently making you grin like a loon?
(

applehead herp derp, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)

GO PLANES GO!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)

now you can sleep and put your chair ALL the way back
:D

edit: i'm happy cos i'm going to be selling near to 40k worth of software next week. i would grin but my hangover won't let me.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)

11k this week, 40k next week
Blimey, you do seem to earn a lot of money.

Every, look how much money he earns!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

I don't earn that tut tut, my company does
but this is my career highlight for a sale, so i'm kinda proud.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)

Why don't you tell us how well off you are again?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:53, archived)

i am well off.
i own my own box of teabags and everything.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:53, archived)

You'll do for me
*sidles up*

Gonna share then, eh? eh?
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:54, archived)

ALWAYS share the wealth
*brews you right up*
(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

*big hugs and bourbons*

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

OH MY

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:57, archived)

*MORE HUGS*
*EXTENSIVE NUZZLING*
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:00, archived)

*licks and nibbles*

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:07, archived)

Me too
I have a cathat and a place to live and a nice camera and a laptop I like to use, and a motorbike to take me to places.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

wooooooooah steady on there miss flashypants.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

I am holding off from buying new things for a LONG TIME.
I need to pay for the bought things first.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:57, archived)

whats the deal with these cathats?

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

all the best people have them.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:58, archived)

you place an order with the right person, right, you pay her money, right, and the deal is, you get a cat hat.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:58, archived)

I dont believe ive ever discussed the specifics of what i earn.
But i am well off in the sense i can afford a roof over my head and some nice things.

Thanks.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:00, archived)

Hats?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:26, archived)

I cant afford a hat:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:51, archived)

ENVY DETECTOR OVERLOAD

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

Everything.
I'm naturally a very happy smiley person.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)

my trouble is that i am naturally very smiley and happy,
but i also suffer from chronic depression.
it is a very difficult and confusing life.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)

Poor lamb

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

do you support Newcastle United?

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

no, Glamorgan.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)

ouch.

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:54, archived)

drugs

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)

xD

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:48, archived)

are you able to open the bottle?
as I thought they came with child proof lids.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

i may have a hangover or i may just be very very tired.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)

i want a nap and a cuddle.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:49, archived)

No.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)

Mind you, I am quite looking forward to leftover roast chicken with fresh bread.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:48, archived)

FOOD THREAD

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:48, archived)

Co-op have just given me £9
Light grinnage
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:48, archived)

i have an abcess on my scrotum that has just burst and there is puss and blood everywhere, i think i can see my testicle through the hole and it is pissing blood
do you think i should call an ambulance, bit scared to get on the bus to guys hospital in this state
(

mongychops, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:48, archived)

nah, bundle it up and get on the bus.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:49, archived)

unless the bus is really infrequent, a long long journey, or you are in too much pain and may faint.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

MORE TO THE POINT:
"pus" and "abscess".

learn, bitch.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

youtube it
try and put your cock in it too
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:49, archived)

Sellotape with fix that

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

and tcp

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

Film it.
£250 on You've Been Framed!
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

Use the hole to keep your spare change.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)

Betadine. Plaster. Heroin.
In that order and you'll be right as rain.
(Bababoon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)

Heroin is a 'drug' belonging to the opiat family.
It is sometimes called 'smack' or 'horse'.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:53, archived)

Wowzers. You are the cleverest person I don't know.

(Bababoon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, archived)

You should get a 'cab', which is like a car which other people drive in exchange for money.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)

as long as you don't come to the hospital I work at.. get a bus
oh and wrap it up in vinegar and brown paper.. won't do any good but will get rid of the stench 'arf!
(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

I get upgraded seating when I fly
Something about the airlines not wanting to get sued because my legs won't fit behind normal seats.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:49, archived)

i have very long legs,
i wonder if they would upgrade my seat, or would you need really long legs? i guess it makes no odds to me since i never go on planes, not through any moral thing, or fear, just that i quite enjoy busses.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)

I just pretend to be a rock star at the check in desk
Hasn't work yet...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)

When the guy at the emirates desk asked what seating i prefered I said 'next to a nice blonde would be nice'
found myself on the flight in centre row with 2 fat guys either side of me. then one fell asleep with his head resting on my shoulder. NOT GOOD.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:53, archived)

Extra Large?
Could they only accommodate your bulk in this?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:49, archived)

Planes are like cars but they fly and can take more people and they need to land at 'airports', which are like carparks for planes.
Stansted is one of these 'airports'.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

How is the electro-shock therapy working?
You seem more coherent lately.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)

I've seen 4 dogs today.
That makes today a good day !
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)

yer
im off to the fucking spoons for a beer
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:53, archived)

I want to go on holiday

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

My boss has given me the ok to work abroad for a few months next year.
B3TANS
Any tips…success tales…stories of thefts, rape and murder for the lone young female traveller?
Spare a few quid?
Lovely stuff.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)

I hear a fog horn.
Booooooooooooo-rinnnnng.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

Speaking of horns I'm playing in St Albans tonight down The Horn if people are near there and want to have your FACES rocked off!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

widdly widdly deeeoooww chucka chucka boowopp a widdly!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

will you please stop farting the theme to match of the day

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

:( ok
*chuffs along to Ski Sunday*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

those stains are gonna be a bastard to get out of your skiddies

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)

Damnation
One of the few Fridays I am not over in St Albans visiting friends :(
(

M o D, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:20, archived)

that's nowhere near me
can you play at the nell gwynne in southsea instead?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)

erm, is Camden close to there?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

I'm playing at the Mother Shipton, Stamshaw
is that close enough for you?
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:38, archived)

theres another one down there
join that then
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6271455
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:28, archived)

You gotto do it like this,
Shawty! Ready set go!
*autotunes*
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)

Spanish men don't do sex
They wank on your foot and let the flies do the hard work
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

Rosie is only 15
that'd make them paedoflies.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

She had a long paper round

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

theres no spanish people in spain
ive been there
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

Germans then

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

ENTSCHULDIGUNG

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)

Bitte schön
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:20, archived)

must have been an english resort then :P

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

i was well fucking unimpressed
all brits and germans and construction construction construction.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:20, archived)

the costa del sol then :)
you should try tarifa, cadiz, seville and huelva..
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:42, archived)

i'd wouldn't not know.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)

Just dont go to Italy
and then moan about being in Italy
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

this sort of thing happens?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

So it seems

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

It leads to chronic gerontophilia
A terrible affliction
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)

Pfft

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)

You must have 'em hanging off you then.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)

living in a hotel is really dull

(

mongychops, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

This has reminded me of an odd aussie sitcom based in a hotel.
Just wanted to let you know.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

McLeod's Daughters?

(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

Where are you going to work?
Some places are more fun than others.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

either france or oz
i cannae click...wot am i missing?
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

kenya
its lovely
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

Kenya, fuck yeah.
More seriously, I live and work in that foreign as a Brit, so if you want any specific tips or whatnot I might be able to help. Generally, learn a bit of the language, don't drink the water and keep your hands off the priests.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

language eh
they do not like it when I say they sound welsh.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

woo! the opportunities
i feel so stale :(
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)

A burning car in Kenya.

(

Jobe, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

hot hatch eh

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)

haha
fucking hell, Kenya
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:20, archived)

working as a terrorist eh?
booming market that apprently
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

im a gyppo
we're not accepted in those circles
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)

is there a worldwide need for lucky heather?

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

And pegs

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

well, some of those places do pong a bit
so a peg on the nose might actually help
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:21, archived)

Always carry two wallets.
One stuffed with old Tesco Clubcards and newspaper that you are happy to handover to anyone with a knife.
And a real one.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

Or carry 2 wallets with just frogs in and NO money or cards!
DOUBLE WHAMMEY!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

oooh sneaky

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

Works brilliantly
right up until they open it, check the contents, and stab you for being a cheeky cunt.

I'd agree on the cards, but use some real low denomination currency if you don't actually want to die bleeding on a foreign pavement.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

An english newspaper is like gold-dust to an ex-pat.
They just love to see what "Gordon 'Braahn' brown's britan" has turned into, faakin' all of 'em, cahmin ovah. Faakin' 'ell mate, I remember when you could walk into a shop and ask for something in english, know what I mean?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:29, archived)

The only thing I can suggest is that you make sure you go visiting places
And take someone else from the office with you for the first week, just so you have company while you find your way around.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

When I was in Singapore
I resented not having someone with me because it meant my excursions were pretty dull.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

The lonely lament of the sex tourist...

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)

I imagine sex tourists as wearing hawaiian shorts and cameras around their necks.
And no more.
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:42, archived)

I'd make friends with a stray dog and go on a crazy adventure :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

I think stray dogs in singapore quickly become delicious food
I didn't see one anywhere.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:31, archived)

That's because they were all on a crazy adventure with me

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)

talking to yourself eh

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)

yeah i have a mate who's thinking about coming
she's shite at saving though
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

Come to NZ

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

yes!
will you give me a job?
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)

I can pay you with beans and lentils

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:21, archived)

:(
i'll work for coffee and bed and toast
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

I can do that when I have a new house

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:26, archived)

it's a DATE :D

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

I am hoping to move to NZ later this year.
Got any IT jobs? I saw a really good job that I'd be good at on Trademe the other day, but missed the application date. :(
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

Jobs are pretty thin on the ground round here
but come for a holiday instead!
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

My missus is Kiwi, and we want to raise our
daughter somewhere nice. We're coming, ready or not.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:26, archived)

cor!
awesome fun! If you go to Egypt, "Ja shi" means "Go away".
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

She could sell herself for camels
I'm not quite sure why anyone would want payment in camels :S
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

Camels are
fucking awesome.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

Wacky t-shirts are a must I see :P

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:31, archived)

we're from the internet, what do you expect
:P
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)

Album: Terrorists on Holiday

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:34, archived)

Those headscarves are fantastic
keep the sand out of your eyes and the sun off your head. Complete with sunglasses, we looked like proper terrorists :D
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)

Terrorists sporting Oakleys

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:42, archived)

if you go to a traveller site "gorger" means "non-pikey"

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

and now I know.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:30, archived)

Or alternatively if you are ever in Greece
You should definitely say
'Ande gamisou vromiaskila poutana'
It means 'Hello, how are you?'
(Bababoon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)

Use the advice on moneysavingexpert to find the cheapest travel insurance deal
Get a Nationwide bank account as they don't charge fees for withdrawing money abroad
Use Jeyes cloths as handy travel flannels. You can throw them away instead of having flannels festering at the bottom of your laundry bag in your rucksack.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

are there any banks that charge for taking money out abroad these days?
my Barclays and RBS accounts definitely don't.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

think it depends on the account you have

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

I just trust the research here:
www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/cheap-travel-money#topcards
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)

It's not that simple
as banks don't all offer the same exchange rate, so you can be charged 3% for taking out £100 worth of currency and still pay less than Nationwide if their current exchange rate is rubbish. Plus that's not going to work unless it's your actual current account that your salary goes into, which seems a hell of a lot of effort to go into to save what will effecively be a few pence.

I definitely don't get charge any fee or load on my barclays debit card though, I'm sure about that. But I think individuals get different deals as well as standard bank conditions so mine might not be standard.

Like all these things on moneysavingexpert, I guess it comes down to how much your time is worth to you. To me it's not worth a couple of hours of my time to change current account even if it saves me a few quid or so when I go on holiday.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:43, archived)

Agree about the time vs money thing. There are a few things I don't bother with.
It's still more than a few pence - it can be £3 on top of each withdrawal, which adds up when you are getting stiffed on the exchange rate as well. That's a lot of money to a backpacking student (can be a night's accomodation and food).

I already banked with Nationwide, so was easy choice for me. The Nationwide exchange rates also seem pretty fair.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:49, archived)

ah, right enough
if money's tight and you're backpacking you're probably taking out small amounts at a time. I just tend to take as much as I reckon I'll need for the duration out of the first machine I find, so i'd only get stiffed for £3 once in that situation. Plus I'm mostly abroad with work these days and consequently it doesn't matter.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)

There's a man driving a ride on lawnmower in what I feel is an inappropriately dangerous manner in the park at the bottom of the tower.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

Looks closer, it's Esme. She's been on the gin again.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)

Are you Rapunzel?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)

Yeah, but I'm not letting you tug on my hair, fat boy.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:25, archived)

where you off to? *stalks*
working abroad for me has been the best decision i've ever made.. I can never imagine working in the UK now. Just the fact everything is laid back here.. I strolled into work close to 11am today and no one said a word!
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

You do know about time zones, right?
Try adjusting your watch.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

pfft

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

not sure yet
i checked with the big nob first because i want summat to come back to. im trained up in sap and IN DEMAND
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

oh my, SAP engineers are minted
well done you
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

minted...? :(((
good lord im getting gypped
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:25, archived)

Yep, should be minted. Last year we were getting bounty payments if we
got SAP-trained friends to join the company. Not sure how the recession will be affecting things, but you should probably check the job ads to see what you could be earning.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:28, archived)

My SAP has just crashed
Fuck SAP.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:30, archived)

On the first day, make someone your bitch, or you'll spend the rest of the time being someone else's bitch.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:30, archived)

Just like b3ta.

(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)

Try to get a job outside the kitchens or the laundary.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:31, archived)

Be polite, but turn down Big Gaz's offer for fags.
It may seem cheep, but he'll 'ave you exactly where he wants you, in his pocket.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)

Bar of soap in a sock, doesn't leave a bruise on the outside.
Make sure you have it on you at all times so you don't get shanked.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)

Newspaper rolled up and folded in half is my favourite. Chelsea Brick.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

You might like the idea of getting a mobile, but if the screws find it, you'll be put on Not On Normal Comunial Exersize.
And you don't want to be with 'em lot.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:34, archived)

Before you get sent under, try and get as much information as you can from Phil, tell him Gonz sentcha and he'll make sure you're looked after, if you know what I mean.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

Tell 'em you've found Jesus, you'll get time off in the church on one of your shifts.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)

KEEP AWAY FROM THE DARKS

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:43, archived)

LETS ELOPE

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)

i spent all last night fighting my illness.
absolute fact.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)

i spent it round gonz's
were you fighting it via the power of cwytch and hot girlfriend?
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

it was a lone fight last night,
i only just won.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)

:(
you should come down for a beer
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

by which i mean their bitters. foreigners
make bad dark bitters.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)

Today I hope to buy
a copy of Practical Reptile Keeping, and a birthday present. There isn't a Lush round here, so it might have to be Body Shop. At least I'm shopping for a female, shopping for men is impossible.

Blog blog blog.

Tell me of your recent or soon-to-be purchases, please.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:32, archived)

TICKETS TO LES MISÉRABLES
TOMORROW

I'm listening to the soundtrack right now.

I cannot wait. Hurrah for birthdays.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:33, archived)

Ooh, I'd love to go see that.
I missed Cats, never forgave my Dad for that. I haven't seen any of the big West End shows, not even Wicked.

Edit: Oh, and happy birthday for whenever it is.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:33, archived)

Cats is shit.
Wicked is excellent. I can probably be able to get you great seats (between rows 5 and 10) for about £13 if you fancy?
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

Cor.
I would have to confirm my holiday times off work, but I might actually take you up on that. I love the soundtrack and everyone raves about it, I'd really love to see it.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)

Lovely stuff. Warning you in advance, you'd have to end up sitting next to me, and I usually take up a seat and a half with my massive face.

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:42, archived)

I'll just bend my neck a bit and sit on the chair arm.
It'll be fine.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)

~~MIS~~ DAWSON
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

LES DAWSONÉRABLES

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

IT DIDN'T SAY THAT BEFORE

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

I LIKE TO MAKE YOU LOOK A BIT RUBBISH

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

IT WOULD BE REALLY EASY TO RECTIFY
BUT I'M NOT GOING TO
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:42, archived)

lol
rectum
(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:43, archived)

oh biiiiinky
*sitcom eye roll*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:44, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHA.
That's our Binky! HAHAHAA!
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:52, archived)

*places finger over lavender alarm button*
do you like lamee and showtunes, too?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

I don't think liking musicals makes me gay
I think the whole "having sex with men" makes me more gay.

KTHNXBYE.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

I was going for camp rather than gay.
camp is a lifestyle choice. Cock or mimsy is a hardwired sexual preference.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

He's AC/DC

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

Nice metaphor

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)

More Spinal Tap if you ask me.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:43, archived)

Ha!

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:48, archived)

*looks at square cheese on round biscuit bewilderingly*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:12, archived)

Ah, I see.
I get very camp when drunk. I'm usually all straight-acting and that. But I do love a good musical theatre show.

I don't like musicals though.

See, I know the difference between the two. Great, eh?
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

great.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:42, archived)

IT'S A VERY COMMON MISTAKE

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:43, archived)

Go, define the difference then.
I take it you'd say that Les Mis is musical theatre, but, say, Annie Hall is a musical, right?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)

HERE WE GO!
Music Theatre is when the story continues in the songs (like big decisions, changes, etc). Les Mis, Wicked and Ha'Penny Opera is full of "decision songs".

Musicals is basically when dialogue happens, then a song confirming the dialogue. If you took the songs out of musicals and just keeps the dialogue in the middle, the story would still make sense. Grease, Joseph, The Sound of Musicfor example. The other type of musical is where it is essentially a list of songs which don't really tell a story. Cats is a good example of this.

However, some musicals have both. Sondheim loves writing musicals where the first act is a Musical and the second act is Music Theatre. A great example of this is Into the Woods.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:51, archived)

Did Cats even have proper dialogue?
The DVD I have doesn't seem to have much of it.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:52, archived)

Ah yes...
Two secs.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:53, archived)

More details provided

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:56, archived)

Cats was really fucking inane.
"Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, the cat of the railway train". What?

Pretty women in tight furry outfits, though.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:58, archived)

That's what you get when you write a musical based on the ether-induced ramblings of an anti-semetic Victorian gentleman

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:01, archived)

Anti-semetic?

(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:02, archived)

T.S Eliot
Big jew hater
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:04, archived)

I was desperately trying to think of any jew-hating in Cats.
The nearest you get are the racial slurs with the Pekinese dogs and things.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:06, archived)

I suppose there's always Bustopher Goldstein
the Child-Stealing Feline Yid Bolshevik.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)

It's a drug to stop you vomiting.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:05, archived)

i thought it was a ointment used for burns

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)

I don't know anything about this
so I'm taking your word for it, however you realise that sounds awfully like "stroppy highly-strung camp buggers splitting the tiniest hair possible in an attempt to make themselves sound more high-brow" ?

A bit like the whole "it's not Opera unless it's sung in Italian" argument.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:54, archived)

No no...
When I say "I prefer Music Theatre over Musicals" just means "I prefer to pay £35 for a ticket and see a story, rather than just see a camp pantomime which is essentially glorified karaoke". I wanna see acting. Not just your typical "teeth and tits" diva who wants the big musical number to herself at the end.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:55, archived)

I see. Fair enough
then carry on, that man.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:56, archived)

:D
I agree with you about the idiots who snub up the whole "it's not Opera unless it's sung in Italian" argument. I go see Opera for the talent. Not to watch something I don't understand.
(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:57, archived)

I watched Faust a few years ago
it was fucking awesome.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

I so want to get you drunk.
It would be awesome.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:47, archived)

Ooh Les Mis is awesome
*jealous*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6271936
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:43, archived)

Nice save

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:43, archived)

i'm the man

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)

I was Javert. Have I mentioned this? I was Javert.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:58, archived)

Les Gingérables

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:05, archived)

According to many people I was the best thing about the production.
*SMUG*
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:07, archived)

Did the rest of the special needs kids fuck up Do You Hear The People Sing?

(__, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:08, archived)

The whole thing was brilliant.

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:10, archived)

Ya big mincebag.
*eats gravel and punches a hooker*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:09, archived)

*punches gravel and eats a hooker*

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:10, archived)

*Punches what he's eating an gravels a hooker*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:12, archived)

*hooks a gavel from bowl of punch and eats*

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:17, archived)

Dude....that's freakin HARDCORE!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:21, archived)

X-TREEM!
morning gumbo. how're things?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:26, archived)

Good good good. Got a half day today so it's all cool.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:28, archived)

i get to leave early because it's the staff barbecue. i'll swing by, grab a burger then high-tail it home
this is the good news
the bad news is, no payrises this year :(
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)

I don't think I know anyone getting a payrise this year apart from a mate who works for HSBC.
sods law.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:37, archived)

but i WANT one
don't they understand that?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

I'll give you a payrise. I'll put your wallet onto a high shelf for you, ok?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:54, archived)

Last night I bought lots of things in the sale
Including shoes that I had nearly bought when they were full price. Woo.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:33, archived)

I always imagine you sat at your computer
in a pretty floral/patterned dress and fabulous shoes with perfect hair, despite the fact I have no idea what you look like.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:35, archived)

Haha thanks
Though my hair is rarely perfect :(
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

i imagine her as a scruffy little pixie type with a sharp face and a snub nose and tatty fairy wings with pickle on her face.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:43, archived)

you're an actual cat that wears a cat hat
cat²
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:46, archived)

omg THE EARS which pair to wash first?
*rolls on floor*
(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:49, archived)

*shines light on the wall*

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:51, archived)

*transfixeds*

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:56, archived)

how do you imagine me?
Does it involve a nautilus and a tub of vaseline?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:44, archived)

I see you as a jetpack with a wig strewn across it.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)

in a puffin costume staring lustily at your signed photo of chris packham
quaffing a beaker of wee
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:45, archived)

I hadn't really thought about it.
For some reason my impression of internet people is usually "average build, short dark hair, male, Caucasian, possibly glasses, jeans and a tshirt" unless I know otherwise.

I had imagined mongychops to be a lot different to how he is, though.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:47, archived)

yeah, most people don't realise he's an african midget

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:50, archived)

It was the peg leg that surprised me more.

(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:53, archived)

I've heard rumours his hair is luscious

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:13, archived)

no, no. that's meeeeeeee

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:18, archived)

I will check this at the HB's.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:21, archived)

i'll make sure it's in peak condition
i have no doubt that UToL's is good too though
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

It's ALL TRUE
my hair actually moves in slow motion too, just ask cr3.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:30, archived)

you'd best be packing some serious beak
at the bash
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

If I go I will not take it off.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:53, archived)

excellent
you'd best go
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)

you think i'm ugly don't you!!!!!111
:((((((((((((((((((((((((
(

mongychops, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

I got a pair of jeans in a closing down sale
marked down from 405 euros to 30, and they gave me a nice bag and not a crappy sale one. Win.
(Bababoon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

Yey!
I hate sale bags.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

They scream "OH LOOK! I'M CHEAP!"

(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

It's even worse when you buy a full price item
And still get a crappy sale bag.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)

here's the thing though
you've just bought stuff in a sale. Either you don't care, or you are cheap.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:47, archived)

Not so much a sale as
'closing down; please buy these jeans so me and my family can eat for a week' Yay for recession!
(Bababoon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:50, archived)

Brakes and bushes for my car.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:33, archived)

Would a shrubbery be ok?
With a nice two-level effect and a path running down the middle.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

you need proper big bushes for CHB-level dogging
a shrubbery just doesn't cut it.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

I heard on Radio 4 a while back that the off road parking bit in Thetford Forrest
near the Brandon roundabout at Barton Mills is one of the UK's top sites for this activity.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:44, archived)

Excellent cover story :)

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:48, archived)

It's best to get there before 9pm if you want a good place to park.
Apparantly.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:50, archived)

happy hour between 10 and 11?

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:57, archived)

I'm choosing to regard radio 4 dogging
as going to darkened car parks to watch other couples discussing Satre.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:49, archived)

And a water feature.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

My most recent purchase was some porridge and a banana.
Most recent exciting purchase was tickets to Fleetwood Mac.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:33, archived)

And don't be soft.
Shopping for men isn't impossible at all.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:34, archived)

I can never find anything.
It's either deodorant gift sets, stupid little gadgets or clothing.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:35, archived)

Can't go wrong with stupid little gadgets
Men go mad for them
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

What the hell is wrong with my one then?
I'm forever holding up little weird gadgets in shops and he looks at me like I'm a five year old with a plastic duck. The conversation usually goes, "Why on earth would I want that?" "Because it's cool! Look! It flashes!" "Put it back." "But I'm buying it for me." "Fiiine. I'll be outside."

He doesn't do shopping.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:57, archived)

I think there's the crux
a gadget does something useful. Flashing, unless you are an old man in a park in a mac, isn't considered useful.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:58, archived)

I've offered Swiss army knives,
flipflops with a bottle opener in the sole, various gadgety things off eBuyer/Firebox, and he just kind of mehs. It seems he has a certain amount he needs to spend (like, a new iPhone - I haven't forgiven him for impulse buying one of those yet).
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:04, archived)

So what, in fact, you mean
is that he is interested in gadgets, but not the ones you want him to have?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:06, archived)

I refuse to admit the iPhone is fucking cool.
I shall maintain my female line that it's "just a phone" and "it's not worth the price tag".

I do want him to have cool gadgets, it's just I can never afford the ones he wants/would like.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:09, archived)

aren't they free on most contracts?

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:12, archived)

Yes but on a stupidly expensive contract for a long time.
I'll admit, he did make a very convincing case for him to pay for it all. Something about how now he's not using X, Y and Z with his business contracts, he can afford it.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:14, archived)

I thought they cost about £400?
you can get them free on an 18 month, £35 contract. which is about £600 in total, but with the added benefit of £600 free calls etc. I can't see why anyone would buy one outright, unless you spend less than £10 a month on calls and internet etc.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:17, archived)

the new one is 44.50 for 24 months, imagine that

(

mongychops, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)

the 3GS?
I was offered that for £35 for 18 months. Mind you, I think that O2 are prepared to offer me a go on the chairman's daughter to get me back from Orange at the moment..
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)

yeah that one, that's the price on the posters in the shop
i'm with orange, they practically pay me these days
(

mongychops, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

that's not a female line
I have a minge AND an iPhone.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:22, archived)

Aren't YOU the lucky one?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:28, archived)

INDEED.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

not for the iphone
the vibration motor is already burnt out
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)

What you're doing here is SHOWING him things.
Just buy something and have done with it and say 'I thought you'd like it'. I'm forever buying stuff for FF like that. The success rate is pretty high.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:17, archived)

take that and now fleetwood mac
bloody hell, it must be terrible being born with no sense of musical taste.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)

Oh fuck off Tye

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

I have one fleetwood mac cd in the attic but no one knows except me as I bought it
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)

shopping for me is easy
i like stuff
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:34, archived)

recently i bought a transformers boxset
in a minute i will buy some headphones because mine broke this morning
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:35, archived)

I'm down to one functioning earphone.
I only have one in during work anyway, so it works out ok.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

i don't listen at work, just on the way to and from
so i need both
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

I'm the same with my love beads at work.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:46, archived)

i just got cod4 on the ps3
its still in its wrapper
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:35, archived)

the first mission is to liberate the disc from the oppressive regime of the box
and then there's an escort mission where you have to get it safely into the drive
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

i aint been home for two nights
im well looking forward to it
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

don't play many FPS games
i'm slaughtering my way through the population of new york city in prototype at the moment
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:44, archived)

i dont either
but im tired of lbp
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:47, archived)

i haven't played it in a while due to having too many other games to play
but i lurve lbp
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:53, archived)

Ghostbusters FTMFW

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:01, archived)

Gets well good that game.
The sniper mission in the best where you've got to take out some guy from a mile away.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:11, archived)

Buying b'day presents for Mrs Rocket's godchildren - a 6 year old boy and a 2 year old girl (the kids, not the presents)
I had loads of fun picking out Transformers, army men, and other assorted boy-stuff.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:35, archived)

I bought a new stick and some astros yesterday
No doubt today I shall spend shitloads on warm beer today watching middle aged men be really rather good at music and shit.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

I'm incredibly jealous you know.
Tell Damon he looks like a fat Essex wanker from me.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

I shall throw a pint of piss at Phil Daniels
just for you.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)

Awww.
Thanks. You're so thoughtful.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:50, archived)

I'm going to buy some mints

(

magnum, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

WHAT KIND?!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)

I just don't know
until I get to shop to see their selection
(

magnum, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:46, archived)

make sure you tell us when you get back

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:55, archived)

It'll be tomorrow before I'm next online
I'll try and remember
(

magnum, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:06, archived)

it's POSSIBLE that i may have forgotten by then
also, i won't be on /talk over the weekend

because i'm not a square *draws imaginary square in the air with fingers*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:09, archived)

probably a pint.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:44, archived)

YES.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:46, archived)

I just bought a three mobile broadband dongle
My next purchase shall be lunch followed by around 30 litres of super unleaded petroleum
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:47, archived)

AIRBED
MEATS
CHEESES
TRAINERS
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:50, archived)

I was thinking of buying something for myself this month
but this morning the TV license people wrote to me, so now I won't be.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:51, archived)

Was it a good letter?
And by good I mean "You owe us £142.50"
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:58, archived)

"it's come to our notice
that you haven't been paying for a TV license, you fucking pikey thief. Unless you pay us this immediately, we'll come round, rape your women, raze your house and put your first-born on a spike

love and kisses

the TV license people"
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:01, archived)

Pretty much that.
End of this month, goodbye money.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:10, archived)

well, here's the thing
if you hadn't tried to defraud them and avoid paying, you could have paid it at £11 a month and not ended up with no money.

/TMB - shutting stable doors after horses since 1975
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:14, archived)

It's not run out yet, it runs out at the end of the month.
I'm not defrauding nobody.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:25, archived)

then pay by direct debit, you plonker.
and save yourself being broke.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:30, archived)

Sell a kidney
Better yet, sell Esme's
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:02, archived)

esmes kidney?
who would buy a organ that badly handled?
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)

NIN tickets.
And an iPhone :D
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:03, archived)

NIN!
Jealous. I hope you have a lovely time.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:14, archived)

At the o2. They were brilliant at Reading 07 :D

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:18, archived)

And I'm going to Westfield for the iPhone on Sunday.
I'm such a big gay when it comes to shopping.
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

it's SO MUCH FUN.
get the Facebook, Tweetie, Flight Control, Peggle, Reddit, Remote and iDaft apps :)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:42, archived)

Already got Facebook, Tweetie, Peggle and Remote for my iPod Touch. :)

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

Don't forget the 'DG Pants Cam' app.
"See what's going on 24-7. Is he harbouring a semi? now you never need to wonder."
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)

Day 97 in DG's pants and it looks like DG has a new housemate.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:52, archived)

Oh no! PUBIC LICE is being a right bitch....

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:55, archived)

WOOP WOOP
BROOM ALERT
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:54, archived)

FOREIGN 5 DIGITED OBJECT IDENTIFIED!
oh no! *fappity fap....fap....fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)

you'd have to pick an alert noise that wouldn't get annoying if you had to hear it every 24 seconds

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)

The sound of a fairy's wand granting a wish

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)

dawww

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)

And I will also buy some new clothes and things and OH GOD I LOVE SHOPPING

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)

bought a black zippo off eBay
it was surprisingly not fake.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:08, archived)

Something genuine from eBay?
How rare!
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:12, archived)

I no!
cr3 checked the Nabaztag last night (if you send a message from bunny to bunny and you're not in, the nose lights up and you can press its head to hear the message again) and listened to the Safety Dance :D
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:24, archived)

Haha magic!
I got mine registered yesterday and spent a couple of hours messing with the API making the ears dance and playing silly podcasts :P
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:26, archived)

Now spangy
I love you very much, but you know what I was saying to Bats about pointless gadgets?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

whatevs
it tells me the weather and the pollen count and reads out RSS feeds and its ears waggle when it does its Bunny Tai Chi. And occasionally talks to itself.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

And plays silly messages
Sent by weirdos on the internet.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

surely a combination of your currently owned macbook
a mobile phone and a real bunny does all that for much less money? and you can eat the real bunny if you become trapped by a holocaust.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:42, archived)

BUNNY TAI CHI. Flashing lights!
Plus it's well cute, sitting on the kitchen table. And I didn't buy it :)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

wow, that is brilliant, i'd love to tell you what i'm buying soon, but i won't as i think someone might find it boring, no offence
love

m
(

mongychops, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:15, archived)

UNEXPECTED CAT
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cornwall/8131264.stm
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:18, archived)

"Only in Cornwall" apparently

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)

hehe
damn nonchalant cats.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

Yesterday I bought some prawns and a squid's head.
I've got no plans to buy anything other than food.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:22, archived)

Alan Wood Bushcraft knife in Damasteel
Some shirts and trousers for outdoor pursuits
(

M o D, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

That's because men buy what they want and aren't interested at all in sentimental things.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:52, archived)

bullshit

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:57, archived)

I am hoping to sneak out at lunchtime and go to the charity shops.
It's my cheap version of retail therapy. I normally look out for cheap Lego/Megabloks as I have not given up on the mission in the newsletter to build a shed out of Lego: shacklemore.blogspot.com/2008/11/build-house-out-of-l.html
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)

Should beans form part of a fried breakfast?
A troubling question...
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)

Yes. Totally.
And mushrooms.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:08, archived)

Only if you can fry them

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:08, archived)

Just the three cans?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:09, archived)

catering size

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

If substituted for fried tomato, yes

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:11, archived)

What the fuck is the point in fried tomato anyway?
Warm tomato is ming.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:13, archived)

I have no idea.
I always have the beans.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

no no no
someone RUINED my breakfast once by pouring beans all over it. he's still unforgiven. there was NO toast, NO bacon and the sausages were made of turkey and leek ffs.

i didnt like it.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:11, archived)

TURKEY AND FUCKING LEEK?!

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

fucking this.
i dry heaved when i cut one open.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)

that sounds nice to me.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:22, archived)

there's a time and a place for fancy sossies, binkles
a fry up is neither
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:23, archived)

blah blah blah what does it matter what you eat when so long as its tasty?

(

sleepybinky, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

i prefer those kind of sausages with mash and gravy and vegetables
and the standard pork kind with bacon, egg and toast
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:27, archived)

Breakfast fail.

(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

That's not really ruining it by pouring on beans
But having a shit fried breakfast in the first place though.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

Needs more lorne and tatty scones.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:13, archived)

And a vat of porridge?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

Yes, a vat of porridge.
Because im fat i eat a vat of porridge.

Yes.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:19, archived)

Thanks for making that so clear ;)

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:22, archived)

I hope your bladder fails at an inopportune moment.
not that there is an opportune moment for that to happen i suppose
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:27, archived)

Oh I don't know,
the meat counter in Tesco, at a funeral, during sex... the list goes on.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:30, archived)

that's not a proper breakfast

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:13, archived)

yes i no :(
it took fucking ages an all and i was STARVING and i nearly cried when presented with that.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:15, archived)

Don't buy breakfasts in fancy pants restaurants then
You posh cow.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:18, archived)

it was round a friends
he even put chinese mushrooms on there. CRAZY TIMES.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

thats no friend.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)

breakfast is serious business

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:19, archived)

he was a bit stressed out.
it weren't his kitchen. i had to sit in the corner and be quiet.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)

had you broken into someone's house
in the dead of night?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:24, archived)

it was at evil lus

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

i'm surprised she had any food left at all, the great big fatty

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

I've had a perfectly good breakfast
ruined with spaghetti hoops. I got so mad I punched a bear to the ground and ripped out its heart.
or
I didn't say anything and just ate around them.
(Bababoon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:15, archived)

my dad used to make me toast with baked bean juice on it
just the sauce, no beans. i fucking love my dad.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

Bread half toasted, dipped in tooth-achingly sweet tea.
Sorted.
(Bababoon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

haha he has that too!
and cake in his tea.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:22, archived)

~~ing love~~
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

clever

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:22, archived)

~~clever~~ I am gay for pay
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

I can't find my sushi
=((((
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:23, archived)

in the fridge

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:23, archived)

YES !
=D

Right, I'm outta here, l8erz.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:26, archived)

~~sushi~~ winky
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:26, archived)

in the fridge

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

I don't agree with beans
They contaminate everything with sauce. FUCK OFF SAUCE
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

I say no.
I find they pollute the general eggy nature of the eggs.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

You could separate the eggs by placing them in a cup.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:17, archived)

like some sort of eggy... cup?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

eggsactly

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:24, archived)

Fried Eggs, IN A CUP?
I thought better of you sir.
*wonders what the world's come to*
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

All eggs should be served in a cup.
Eggs in a cup. A cup of eggs. A veritable eggy cup.
balder's likes eggs. Two eggs one cup.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

I had eggs in a wine glass yesterday.
It was right posh.
(Bababoon, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

I would have sent it back
and demanded them to be serverd in a CUP. If this was not done with speed and a smile, then it's toys out of the pram time.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:32, archived)

*Makes a vomiting noise*
Egg! No! I only eat fried eggs when I really have to, like in a cafe or something. Why would you add them to a home friend brekkie?
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

then why even have them in a cafe?
you odd cunt
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)

Like when you get taken out for breakfast.
It doesn't happen very often, though. I usually veto the cafe and suggest a croissant/danish and a cup of coffee instead.
(

Bats, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:23, archived)

She goes in and they strap her down and force feed her fried eggs for six hours
It's a hard life
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:23, archived)

what, no beans?

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

not relevant to my interests

(

mongychops, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:17, archived)

i make a fucking lovely breakfast

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:19, archived)

That's a good chat up line.
Right there!
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:23, archived)

im far too ugly for chat up lines

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

you mean..
you've got interests? now there's a shock!
(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)

I've got interests.
I like Bicycles.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:22, archived)

I know you do 'zuki
now off you pop and play in the park. There's a good lad
(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

YAAAAY!
*grabs football and runs off*
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:27, archived)

he's interested in you. knowhadda mean?
eh? nudge, nudge, wink, wink
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:26, archived)

you're ruining this attempt at pandering.
I hope you're proud of yourself.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

i've already made myself a medal out of tinfoil and ribbon

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:29, archived)

cheers
so you calling me a bike then!! Cheek of it!
(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:29, archived)

not 'zook, you fool. mongy!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:30, archived)

Oh I see!
well, I don't actually cos the lights are off in the office and it's very dark..
(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:34, archived)

ahh, the lovely neddy, how are you today? i nearly missed you as i was busy
i have many varied interests that i would love to tell you all about, but really i'd like to know more about you
(

mongychops, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:30, archived)

Nothing to know about me!
Honest guv
(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)

Yes.
Yes they should. As should potato cakes.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)

i still don't believe you make good cakes
i think it's all propaganda
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 9:31, archived)

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