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You still would...

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

Wood Eye

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

Harelip! Harelip!

(

HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

Hahahaha!

I used to love that joke.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

Plastic tits

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

Still would piss into their eyes then set them on fire?

Yup.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

You love them and want to kiss them.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

that's your ideal woman that is

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:34, archived)

You love them and want me to kiss them.

I'd rather kiss Moyles.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:34, archived)

This is all true.

There is not nearly enough girl-on-girl action in the world.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:37, archived)

Certainly not in mine, any more.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:38, archived)

I suggest you remedy that

And post pictures.

I am so deeply shallow as to be a bulge.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:40, archived)

What the hell does that last sentence mean?

All I can think is that it means your willy has got all hard.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:42, archived)

I am incredibly shallow in my personality.

I was just trying to play on the metaphor by implying that I am actually the the exct opposite of the concept of depth.

Oh gods I'm an arse hahahaha

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:44, archived)

Oh I seeeee.

No willy hardening then? Shame.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:46, archived)

Always.

I just take that as a given.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:49, archived)

Fabulous work.

Have a biscuit.

Careful with the crumbs though, that'd be sharp.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:52, archived)

There's plenty

they just don;t want to do it in front of you

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

Damnit, Just jump on top and find any availabale hole

(

The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

hehehehe

Excellent!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:41, archived)

brum brum

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:28, archived)

ha ha

madness

(

The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:29, archived)

this is madness

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

This is B3333333333333tttaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahack...cough...splutter

incipient groinal hernia

(

The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

THIS IS MIND PISSSS!

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

THIS IS B3TA!

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

i'm b3ta and so's my wife

(feeeshboy Warning: mysql_fetch_beer():, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

No I'm b3ta

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

No! I'M SPARTAC-

-oh, shit, wait...

(

Spunk Murphy Tchaikovsky is a synonym for fanny, apparently, Mon 19 May 2008, 9:00, archived)

Ha ha ha!

He's clearly a Rover P3 or P4.

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

Yes!

keep it real, San Andreas rocks my socks.....

(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

Gass guzzler!

(feeeshboy Warning: mysql_fetch_beer():, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

Derv

that feels nice when you say it 'Derv'

woo yay.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

Nice.

However, I thought derv had a black hose and the green one was for unleaded?

(

M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Mon 19 May 2008, 11:04, archived)

The herald of Galactus

(radja, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

the pewter patrick?

this is most woo

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)

subject line newsletter lol compo

write something pithy
you can do it in a jiffy

(

rob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

here we go gathering NUTS in may

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

Nuts in may

(

The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)

Nuts in may

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

nuts in may?

EDIT: oh no i've done that wrong

(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

who is may?

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)

captain wow vs. captain slow.

i'd buy tickets to that action!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

The frightening thing is I think he's quite sexy.

Although I have no idea why.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

weirdly

i know what you mean

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

I think it's because he's clever.

And can fly a plane.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)

yes.

also, anyone that geeky and sensible must be very comfortable with the size of their equipment.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:28, archived)

Oh I reckon he's a right demon in the sack.

The quiet ones always are.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

i imagined him in a potoatoe sack then...

oh my poor fragile mind

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

true

if they need to brag, they haven't got much to brag about.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

*Sits quietly*

(

Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:51, archived)

He also has great shirts.

He's got one of the same ones I have!

*glees*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

Hello sweetheart!

His shirts are good, I like a good shirt.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

Hello Lovely!!!

*does the 'Officer and a Gentleman' pick-up-and-carry thing through the halls of b3ta*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

Why aren't there more JPGs in the world?

*swaps tricorner for JPG's hat*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:35, archived)

Probably something to do with the galaxy exploding or

some such malarky.

You look good in the hat, btw... ;-)

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:36, archived)

:D Why thank you!

Are you still coming a-visiting on the 1st of June?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:37, archived)

gaz'd ya

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

That's her.

She has a lovely personality and hair.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

Hooray for the May,

He may be a gay,
He never gets his way,
Why does he stay,
On that programme with twat Clarkson and pocket housewifes favourite Hammond when he could clearly outhink both of them into soup?

I need to work on that last line a bit.

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:25, archived)

don't touch it!

the phrase "pocket housewife's favourite" is perfection.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)

Yeah.

I think the last line's a syllable over-long.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)

Nuts in May.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

nuts?

in may?

are you mad?

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

A tiger?

in Africa?

(Metalfish Hasn't had a sig since, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)

Only...

...in Kenya.

(

LeightonJimbo has remembered his password!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

forget norway

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)

Norway in May?

No way.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

there may be whales

on their way to the thames

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

May.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)

Szechuan? Duck!

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

Turd twisting your day away

turd twisting

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

WTF

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)

*orders five*

(

the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

Chinese earthquake dead eases international rice values-

-every cloud has a silver lining.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)

insert, rotate, remove, sniff.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)

ARGH IT BURNS

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)

so does turd twisting

or so i've heard

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

Rampaging Rangers fans disgust country

as Mancunian bobby escapes unharmed

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)

Not all the coppers got off so lightly.

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

orange

(pithy)

(

monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

Did everyone in china jump up and down at the same time?

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

^ This ^

do you have a link to your original high jump image?

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

yes

with or without the bloke/kitten?

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

I don't remember the post... Do you have links?

Yup... ^ that's the fella!

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:28, archived)

ninja edited :p

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

Leeloo Dallas Multipass

just 'cos...

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

The B3ta Newsletter. Offending more people than a dogging session in Tescos car park

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

Simian justice enforced!

(

printmeister http://tinyurl.com/c8s8fd5 for titanic T's, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

Bin Laden and Waldo in gay love nest shocker

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)

TURNED OUT NICE AGAIN!

or

HA, HA, NEVER TOUCHED ME!

or

OO, MOTHER!

Any of those, ideally.

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

stapled between the thighs of cuban virgin women

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

...and we promise the links will work this week

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

you opened the box, we came...then we put it back in the cupboard.

(

fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

SLOWLY SUCKING YOUR LIFE AWAY

(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

Like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a funny link

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

READ THIS YOU DRASTIC PLASTIC SPASTIC

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

Doing to the internet what Rangers fans did to Manchester

(

Monty Propps, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

Sit back and relax. This’ll be over in a jiffy.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

sesroh evol i

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

hey!

!sesroh evol I

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:17, archived)

!efiw ym si os dna sesroh evol I

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)

kcab eht dnuor ti fo spmul tog ev'ew

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

All sing along now...

evol esroh od I

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

b3ta newletter: Propaganda from the shadowy web elite.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

haha!

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

SHAKING UP YOUR INBOX LIKE SICHUAN PROVINCE

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

The suns come out, and we’re all sweating like rapists in B3ta towers.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

Half-heartedly humping your leg like a geriatric spaniel

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

I know a man who lost his left arm and left leg in a road accident, he's alright now

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

If Goebbels were still alive he'd love it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

BLAAAAAAAAARRB!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

This^

BLAAAAAAAAARRB!

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

NUDE PICTURES OF THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER!

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

Pictures of me beating the shit out of her, I hope.

I don't recollect having a daughter, so she can't be his proper babby.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:17, archived)

Pictures of you and her wrestling naked in three inches of baby oil

excuse me a minute

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

three inches of baby oil

6 inches of timelord (tosh) blood.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

i just want

6 inches of timelord.
give or take an inch or two...

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)

Give or take four, apparently.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:25, archived)

10 inches???

please tell me it's 10 and not 2

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

Called David Teninch by Billie Piper.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

0_0

i REALLY want him now!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:35, archived)

Shit.

*gets cattle prod out* BACK, wench. You'll get your turn.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:38, archived)

ouch!

*smells burnt hair*
lay off! he's a timelord! he can easily handle both of us!
is it wrong that i've wondered what things oods can do with those mouth tentacles?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:41, archived)

Hahaha, not at all.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:46, archived)

so....

....you've thought about it too?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:49, archived)

Hi, I'm the Captain.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:52, archived)

pfff!

you tease!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:55, archived)

ALWAYS.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:58, archived)

do you have

a sonic screwdriver?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:03, archived)

Of sorts....

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:08, archived)

you didn't like her then?

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)

Int my daughter

Can't be his.

Must be a titwitch.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

I just want to know why her appearence didn't change

when she regenerated.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)

because she didn't regenerate

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)

Aye, she was terraformed.

I'm still confused about that.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

i think it was part terraform, part "two hearts, harder to kill", part silly plot device

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)

Aye

RTD seems to have done every episode with the gleeful abandon usually reserved only for four year olds on too much ribena.

FUCK THE RULES, EVERYONE'S GAY NOW. Etc.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

oh come on, it's not that bad

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

No, it's not that bad.

It's just every time I see him on telly he's banging on about how much he loves boys.

We GET IT, RTD. You're gay. Now, most gay people I know choose to define themselves with their actions and personalities instead of something so utterly piffling as their taste in genders. That's what annoys me about him.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:34, archived)

i don't watch him on telly much

so i don't have that problem

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

What was it then?

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)

Wasn't there some guff about choosing their appearance when the Master regenerated?

Perhaps I dreamt that bit. She's not a full Time Lord, so possibly that's why.

Also, am I the only one pleasantly suprised to be enjoying this series? It's lovely good bonkers fun.

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)

i'm not that surprised, because a) i'm easy to please

and i think that guff was about Romana, not the Master.

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

Perhaps it's different for ladies?

You'd have to ask The Rani.

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)

Kate O'Mara!

*shudder*

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:35, archived)

That happened

to the Troughton Doctor when he was exiled to Earth. For some reason he had to regenerate, but was given a couple of seconds to choose a new appearance from four or five faces.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

i bet the other three or four actors were gutted.

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:36, archived)

What must they have looked like

if he picked Pertwee, though?

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:38, archived)

Because fucking

Russell T. Grant can't get the Timelord mythology right. Wanker.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)

oh shush

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

EVERYTHING IS SHIT, EXCEPT THIS, THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

THE B3TA NEWSLETTER;

A PERFECT END TO THE WEAK.

(

the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

What do you do, club them to death with the monitor?

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

Offend them to death.

(

the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

licking the balls of literary giants

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)

standing on the backs of midgets

(

nocturne72, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)

pff

that's what they're for

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)

Hah!

You lick Terry Pratchett's balls.

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)

I would.

No question. He wouldn't even need to ask. I'd just drop and lap away.

(

the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)

i don't

the queue is too long.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:45, archived)

Read it, it's a riot - Glasgow Rangers fan

(

Puromycin is still licking windows, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)

you'll never read all that.

(waxdart hello., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)

IT'S LIKE A BIG SCREEN THAT WORKS!

(

Sunburn Go on.... It's character building!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)

Ha ha ha!

/riots

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:29, archived)

you need us more than we need you

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

Tripping up coppers

for the good of the mob.

(

Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

Debutantes. Parvenues. And wankers!

(

HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:34, archived)

[Outsourced To Winos]

(DrZaarlon Witchspace To Ra!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:44, archived)

Afganistan, Burma, China.

Is Denmark next on God's list?

(

sepang 's favourite day is, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:45, archived)

RAGING THROUGH YOUR INBOX LIKE 100,000 ANGRY SCOTSMEN

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:12, archived)

lots of Whisky is good

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:06, archived)

Woah!

my eyeballs are now throbbing in time with that...

Can I be terribly rude and park this here please?

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)

hahahaha

real lols at that one!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

me too

bloody hell!

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

I thought Beattie needed a BLAAAARRRBBBing

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

he did.

but the funny thing is, i didn't realise he needed one until he had it. then i could see he'd been needing it all along.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

I felt the need to do something silly...

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

LAAAAAAAAAh LAAAAAAAAAh

(

monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

reeeepost for compo; charles clarke

(

monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:55, archived)

Paul Daniels!

(

Muns, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:57, archived)

repost did someone say?

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:58, archived)

i wanna hold your hand...foot...hand...

whatever.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:59, archived)

and....

even thought technically politicians are NOT celebs...

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:59, archived)

When you see them like that... they look suprisingly... related.

No wonder they keep having mong-babies

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:01, archived)

Proud of yourself, little man?

pfft

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

Yes, thanks.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

*I reeeeeeeeally like that*

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

don't eat it

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:52, archived)

time for a repost....

(

nocturne72, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:02, archived)

*at home LOL*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:06, archived)

*clicks*

*clicks again*

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

bet he's shit at twister

(

monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:02, archived)

I really read that wrong...

www.poopreport.com/Consumer/Content/Turd_twister/twister.html

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

oh my

(

monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

fuck!

he looks like one of those big goldfish things from the dark crystal

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:58, archived)

noons Mrs smash

Dint see you hiding there

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:00, archived)

noons

i've just received 2 invites in 5 minutes! i'm in demand today ;)

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:01, archived)

depends where you've been invited to

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:02, archived)

i've been invited

for a meal this evening and to my second cousin's christening next sunday. i'll go to the meal, but i'm having second thoughts about the christening.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:04, archived)

Second thoughts about the second cousins second christening

just go for the buffet after

I hear the pub calling, time I was away to the slug
no arguing while I'm out, and tidy your bedroom up.

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)

yes dad

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

he needs..

a massive cheesy Wotzit to fill those hands.

woo!

(

fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:58, archived)

Shopped pics only please

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:59, archived)

It's Oddworld!

what was the main character called in that?

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:00, archived)

abe

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:01, archived)

Mmmm. Meech munchies.

*drool*

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

yes!

that game was awesome :)

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

Lovely!

(

Monty Propps, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:01, archived)

What the deuce?

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:04, archived)

Ha ha ha!

Hooray for shopping politicians!

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

hahaha

fucking hell, good shopping!

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:06, archived)

haha ha

that is great

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:07, archived)

nerdy but awsomely done

(

monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

Hahaha, I love that one. I didn't know it was yours.

Also pointless ramble, I went through your flickr account and found picture with the massive post about The Next Generation and Insurrection.
Was insurrection actually set during the Dominion war though? Because in Deep Space Nine it was reported that the enterprise was destroyed, hence why Worf ended up in Deep Space Nine.

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

Yes.

There's some guff at the start about needing all the help they can get during the Dominion War.

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

You'd think they'd be able to handle some basic continuity by now.

Is the ship destroyed? Is it a ghost ship? Are the films set in an alternate dimension populated by different choices and outcomes?

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

Fanfucking

Tastic.

(

Monty Propps, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

excellent shoppery.

woo too yoo

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:05, archived)

hahahahahaha

tremendous.

(

kingofpork is the king of pork, Fri 16 May 2008, 19:56, archived)

That's fucking brilliant...

Shoppery at its best. Incredible!

(Speccy, Sun 18 May 2008, 23:31, archived)

looks like...

captain caveman's bollock

(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:06, archived)

looks like

captain caveman's bollock

(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:06, archived)

Buhahahahaha

Top

(

Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

Reposting eh? Well, a good time to get this one out then

(

Just Juan Cornetto will take you to the lo-rider show n' flaunt ya on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

She has a lot of teefs

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:45, archived)

still would

*maybe with the cunning use of paper baggage.

(

nocturne72, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:46, archived)

You can for both of us.

It'd be like kissing a distended rectum for me.

This shop makes her about 7000% more attractive though.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

how many distended rectummmmsm (Recti?) have you kissed

don't answer that

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:48, archived)

hahahaha

(

nocturne72, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)

surprisingly, none.

I have kissed someone with collagen injections in their lips though, that was bad enough. Thimk Pete Burns.

Yep. Just like that. Also male. But in full overblown drag, not just Pete's approximation of it. We're talking Priscilla Queen of the Desert style glitz.

Should point out this was just a MWA style kiss, not a full on frenchie.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)

You live such a dull life.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:50, archived)

I've just been to quite a few gay clubs.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:51, archived)

Fae at G.A.Y.

Pfft

Sorry

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:51, archived)

I didn't know municipal buildings could have a sexuality.

*may not be municipal

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:52, archived)

I don't like to think Pete Burns

I prefer to think Pete stings a bit

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:51, archived)

He's a sexy itch, if anything.

Love the man.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:52, archived)

At least he has an opinion

More than most "celebs"

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:53, archived)

Exactly, he's very outspoken.

I do like people who are prepared to stand by their opinions, even if those opinions don't match my own. I appreciate that they've got the stones to stick by themselves, if you get me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:54, archived)

I would get you

But mr wow might object

PS Waltham Abbey IS in Essex

I wish I wasn't

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:57, archived)

To be honest the fact it would be like kissing a distended rectum doesn't exactly tell us if you'd like it or not.

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)

I don't think so.

I disagree with the bint, anyway.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:50, archived)

Disagree with her?

As just an entity, or on her views of the Israel Palestine situation?

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:52, archived)

As an entity.

She's less offensive than she was, though.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:53, archived)

To be honest you're just as abhorrent as an entity but you don't see my constantly moaning about it*.

*may not be true

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:54, archived)

I think she probably gives as much of a shit about my opinion of her

as I give about your opinion of me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:56, archived)

Who knows, you'd have to write it down and send it to her first.

Plus you know it does really, secretly it eats away at you like a mouth...or something.

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:57, archived)

~~a lot of~~ big

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

All the better to bite you with my dear

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:52, archived)

Happy Toast in non animation shocker!

still would though

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

It's animated on the other side.

Turn your monitor around to see it.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)

Just tried that...

All I could see was this?

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:58, archived)

sesroh evol i

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:00, archived)

eno elohw a tae t'ndluoc I tub

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

haha

(

Jorvic, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

Ann Mckevit?

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

teefs!

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:48, archived)

that mouth

is not safe for cock insertion.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:54, archived)

i was gonna shop him....but there didnt seem any point.

one of millions im sure

(

nocturne72, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)

Who is he?

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)

Dave Lee Travis

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:44, archived)

Thanks...

*Milks* (with no suger)

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:44, archived)

it's quite clearly

Jemima Puddle Duck and you know it.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

Phwoar!!!!

I bet that tastes salty.
:D

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

he's an over-privileged, shite-for-brains elitist clown

who has come to some minor prominence in a small English village. The cunt.

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:50, archived)

He does have a certain pre-shopped look about him doesn't he....

Oh, and here's a not worth its own thread lovely...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:44, archived)

always though he looked like he'd been made out of the loose bits of other Tories

(

nocturne72, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:46, archived)

ARG

Harvey Weinstein is a cunt.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:46, archived)

This may well be what it says behind her / it's head...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:54, archived)

But that is shopped!!

in fact i'm sure i've seen it before on here, is this your image?

(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:46, archived)

made it about 3 mins ago so ....yeah tis mine.

(

nocturne72, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:48, archived)

sorry, don't get me wrong, i'm not insinuating you're a pic thief.

just CERTAIN i've seen this before. but my heads fucked anyway, so no doubt i'm wrong.

(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:06, archived)

i have seen this too

longer than 3 mins ago.

maybe it's just a popular pic to get borrised.

(Waisted Fred I say who Sir, you Sir?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)

I think you mean this one?

www.b3ta.com/board/3751499

or maybe this one? www.b3ta.com/board/8375535

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:52, archived)

dunno, it's strange, i'm just positive i've seen this before......

but then again, i've been getting major deja vu all day.

(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:00, archived)

I can help with that...

www.b3ta.com/board/8375605

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:03, archived)

Since the board hasnt moved in half an hour

(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)

oh yes!

i'll pop this here.

(

fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:38, archived)

Martin Freeman

and a fat tranny?

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:43, archived)

or that bloke off peepshow

and a fat tranny.

(

fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:57, archived)

reminds me of a safety video about the propper use of lasers in scientific circumstances...

'there was a popping sound as his retina exploded and he never saw out of that eye again...'

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:38, archived)

Shake you monitor about...

*That will help it move..

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)

perhaps the clockwork's wound down..

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:42, archived)

Hahaha

I've just been playing the swarm game in your profile.

It took me ages before I realised I was supposed to be doing more than just amuse myself by happily splattering the fat people.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

Mmmmmm... meat...

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:03, archived)

MMM, LOVELY MEAT!

strangely arousing

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:04, archived)

there's nothing i'd like better then to roll naked with her on some bloody carcusses

and then spunk on her tits.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:08, archived)

You just know she doesn't mind "getting her hands dirty"...

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:09, archived)

I'm not really a fan

but I would really like a bloody, meaty gobble off her

or anyone else

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:11, archived)

I can see the reviews now

"She'll suck you off with a mouthful of raw guts"

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:14, archived)

with bits of bone it it to create some exciting speed bumps

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:15, archived)

Ooh, the thrill!

Actually, following Ad7's post below, I now want a visceral titwank instead.

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:17, archived)

waaaay!

I aim to please

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:22, archived)

whereas

I'll aim at her face...

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

mucky pup

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)

best of all the titwanks

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

Nigella's not bad either

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:10, archived)

True

www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/ate0127l.jpg

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:20, archived)

is it just me

Or does she look a bit like Tia Carrera here?

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:22, archived)

Its you

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:25, archived)

Can't be

I look nothing like Tia Carrera.
not even when I wear high heels n pull me eyebrows up

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)

you look like Tia Carrera

whoever he is.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)

Waynes World's girlfriend

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)

HE?

Get yoiur vission adjusted

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

No he doesn't

www.austinchronicle.com/binary/d7fb/music_phases-39504.jpeg

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

He bloody does

www.imdb.com/media/rm2480379392/nm0000119

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:30, archived)

Are yea...

EDIT: www.b3ta.com/board/8375405

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

told you so

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

I've been wanting to see Nigella handling one eyed meat for some time

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:05, archived)

hahaha

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

Hahaha

I've only just noticed the "and Ottakers".
*clicks*

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:08, archived)

ottakars does not exist any more

sadly

(

mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:11, archived)

yer

the one in Slough is Waterstone's now

as if people in Slough can read anything but toilet paper

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:13, archived)

Hah, you reminded me of using you in an argument a few days ago.

Only to point out that I knew someone who lived in Slough who didn't struggle to spell their own name.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

hahaha

I have a massively troublesome name

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:20, archived)

I really would love to know what it is

you've sufficiently piqued my interest.

If you're ever feeling brave, gaz it to me. I like names.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

you wouldn't like mine

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:22, archived)

Is it Margaret Thatcher?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:23, archived)

I wouldn't mind that

mine lead me to years of bullying at school.
only inlater years did I come to relish it as a source for friends to give me nick names.

always makes me think of Jenifer saundes on the Young ones,

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:28, archived)

Mine rhymes with gay

and shares a first letter with the word fat.

To 9 year olds that's GOLD, that is.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:30, archived)

Oh my first name is ok

nothing wrong with my first names.
Not like Mrs Vinegar Strokes
Middle names Nancy Maud (Hers not mine)

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

Ouch, that's a bit harsh.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

Nancy is just about bearable (I'd do anyfing for you dear...)

But Maud!
by all the saints and angels why Maud

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)

Nancy is good

but Maud is.... well, it's terrible. Sorry to your lady and all that.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:37, archived)

I try to comfort her

By making sure everyone knows...tehe

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)

My Grandmother

is Mildred Maud. Top that!

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)

Up until the 4th of Feb this year

I had 6 grandparents as my mum's parents split and remarried.

George and Judith
Alan and Sheila
Alan and Sheila.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)

You're just visiting some of them twice as much as the others.
I have no grandparents
Or parents
Or friends

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)

I got that too, which leaves me rather resentful about my names.

Despite the fact they are quite clearly brilliant, although crap for being anonymous due to the rarity.

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

Adnrew is too difficult to spell?

*FUCKSOCKS*

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:28, archived)

hahaha

yes

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

I could never get the hang of spelling Michaeal

I know there's an a in it somewhere so I stick it in any where I fancy it

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:34, archived)

The correct spelling is:

Maiacahaeal

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)

Thanks

Waoababablaya a balaoakaea

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

Ours is a Waterstones now

But its even WORSE than Ottakers.

I honestly dont know how bookshops like that are still in business what with this new fangled interweb business

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

ah I dunno, I love bookshops

it's the smell of books that does it for me

cos that's the smell of KNOWLEDGE

and books about Hitler

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

Little bookshops

like in Black Books.

The smell of those is DIVINE. Old books smell better than new books. My copy of LOTR, for example. Ohhhhhh it smells wonderful.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:24, archived)

^this^

I'm talking about the Goliath Books of this world.

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:24, archived)

Hehe..heheh... it's

funky.

*stubs cigarette into hand* oooooh, sorry.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:25, archived)

I have a top tip for you if you ever visit Edinburgh.

Find the Kings Building (the University of Edinburgh Science campus) and go to the Jospeh Black building (Chemistry). On teh second floor there is a small chemistry library full of books dating back to god only knows when. It has a smell which only a few very sexy things surpas. They've either had a small fire in there or you used to be able to smoke or something - the leather, the old books, the faint sweet smell of pipe smoke...

*groans*

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

Oh fuck don't talk dirty.

That sounds wonderful. I bought my best mate (the one in the post below) a copy of a book that was 100 years old on her birthday and is about a girl who spells her name in the same way that she does (odd spelling of fairly not odd name) - it smells like heaven. Pure unadulterated heaven.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

meet me in the library in 15 minutes -

don't bother with clothes, they'll only get in the way.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)

See you there!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)

yer

the Oxfam bookshop in Windsor is great - plus they sell MONEY

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

Do they?!

I'd love a pound note. If they have any, can you tell me how much they are?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:34, archived)

have you not got a pound note?

I probably have a spare one somewhere

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)

Noooo, should I?

When did they go out of circulation?

I'd like a halfpenny as well, because they went out of being legal tender in the year I was born. I must shop for these things.

Don't you give me your spares, you might need them! Oh you lovely kitty though.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:38, archived)

Scotland

more reasons to come to Scotlans.

pound notes are here.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:37, archived)

Oh fuck.

Pound notes, Scottish accents, men in occasional kilts....

Fucking hell, when I die, if I've been a really good girl I might end up in Scotland.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

I have a friend who works for visitscotland

I'm sending him this post

:)

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:43, archived)

It's a good thing I live so far away.

I have to talk to a lot of people from Uddingston in my work and it doesn't make life any easier when some great big Glaswegian chap is growling something down the phone at me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:45, archived)

Waterstones is owner by HMV

and I agree - both business models are untennable in a future where people never leave the safe glow of their monitor.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

I love a good shopping trip.

Had one recently in Oxford, it was LOVELY. Just me and my best mate being girls and trolling around, absolutely wonderful.

To be fair, spending time with her makes my heart swell anyway as I love her so much, but it just was brilliant fun.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:31, archived)

sounds great

it does kind of piss me off the way everywhere is turning into Main Street UK, and Quirky off main street UK... Boutique Street UK

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:34, archived)

I like side streets.

The best shops are on side streets.

Go to Thame actually, very few chain stores in Thame.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:37, archived)

FUCKING LOVELY MEAT

and also what Waspy said

*goes to lav*

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

*Unexpected Horse

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:07, archived)

Hahahahaha

That's ace!

Spoonerisms Challenge Entry

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:09, archived)

Sock cooker!

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:18, archived)

FWOAR

needs more baps and suggestive hand gestures

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:15, archived)

haha still love that

my missus got her new cookbook, sadly she's cut down on the gratuitous 'look at my tits' shots and actually focussed on the cooking a bit more

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:17, archived)

She's a bitch

But still prettier than her dad

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

I didn't know you knew finite's missus

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:23, archived)

haha

he's not wrong either :D

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

Hahaha!

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

gleesome

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:26, archived)

There aren't many women I'd punch people in order to get to

but Nige is definitely one. I'd....worship her.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)

its the posh that does it for me

stick a posh accent on any woman and her attractiveness goes up ten-fold!

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:30, archived)

*keeps mouth firmly shut, then*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

hah

just do some crosswords whilst looking over the rims of your glasses then, that'll do me ;)

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

3 across: Manwowler (anag.)

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:35, archived)

I don't sound posh to some

just to others. I don't know, I don't sound it to me. I think it depends on what I'm doing.

I'm always looking over my glasses, they fall down my nose.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:35, archived)

Then you need a bigger nose!

Women with glasses... *sigh*

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

HAHAHA bollocks do I

It's taking over my face as it is.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)

oh,

well in that case get Mr. Wow to pull your ears further back on your head.
OR get a monocle!

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:42, archived)

I'd have to have one for each eye

as I'm shit without my glasses.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

here is an idea:

get TWO monocles, join them together with some sort of wire, attach hooks on either side

PROFIT

(

Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)

any accent will do

Except essex
"allo, ahm frorm Romfd aint Ah, Shaz where's me bleeding voka?"

Eugh

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

I've never even been there.

Nope, tell a lie, I went to Waltham Abbey once.

Hang on, is that still Herts?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)

Torienko

I just wanna understanto what you saido?

(yamoo, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

wow that's amazing

she cooked her own vagina

(

Frumbert has no sig, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:48, archived)

BLAAAAAAAAARRB! BLAAAAAAAAARRB!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:45, archived)

one-man blaaarbwagon!

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:48, archived)

God

does anyone remember ATG? *shudders*

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:51, archived)

I remember that!
It was ACE and everyone loved it!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:54, archived)

Faster!

make them faster!

*My complements to you flashy helmet SADTHMBRWT

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:55, archived)

ahahaha

that went on forever..

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:59, archived)

this new DTH onemanbandwagon

is infinitely more entertaining than ATG.

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:59, archived)

well, BLAAAAAAAAARRB! all use

BLAAAAAAAAARRB! all usea different source image so it's not really a waggon
more a series

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:10, archived)

Actually, my opinion is that it only becomes a wagon

when other people jump on, so I agree it's a series

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:13, archived)

but then, ATG was pretty much all mine . . .

ATG was pretty much all mine . . . but it WAS shit!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:18, archived)

It went on too long

like an American sit com.

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

I'm still waiting for it to jump the shark

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:26, archived)

I detect a one man bandwagon!

have a button

(

Weetobix, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:48, archived)

I so want this

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:50, archived)

*signs him up for Britain's Got No Talent*

(

Joliet, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:48, archived)

I like it :D

and I can see this beating Anything Goes in terms of longevity.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:54, archived)

you have a lot of wind this week dave

sprouts?

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:54, archived)

He was itching for a blarbing

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:57, archived)

Fantastic!

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:02, archived)

Why doesthis reminde me of Monkey Island, possibly the second one?

(Betamax Bandit, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:04, archived)

+10 for username

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:05, archived)

Stoppit and Tidyup

(

monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:07, archived)

I didn't remember seeing this in his pre-election policies

Sorry for the cheap & nastiness I only had a 15 minute tea break.

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

Probably scouse kittens

(

Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:33, archived)

Prepare for much wailing, gnashing of teeth and calls for inquiries

(

Joliet, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:34, archived)

In a bathroom I frequent in liverpool some tit has stuck a load of stickers saying BOYCOTT THE SUN and REMEMBER HILLSBOROUGH etc

I wrote FLAT SCOUSERS LOL on them.

(

Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:37, archived)

O_o

you frequent lavatories?

Guess it's your business. Hats off to FLATSCOUSERSLOL though...

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:40, archived)

No no it was nothing like that

I was gobbling strangers.

(

Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:40, archived)

The stupid, bastard, thing about Hillsborough

was that it was the scousers that crushed their fellow fans to death, yet it's apparently the fault of the police and the barriers?

No giro claiming gobshite clamouring to get in, no FLATSCOUSERSLOL!

/simplistic blog

(

Joliet, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:42, archived)

Same way it's the fault of the police and the City Council

that thousands of Rangers fans were lobbing bottles at each other on Wednesday night...

/still bitter blog

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:59, archived)

violent people make me want to be violent

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:01, archived)

GAH!

That Scottish Conservative MP cunt made me want to throw my tele out of the window.

"The police antagonised them, an enquiry into the police should be made" Fuck off and take your drunken, hooligan, constituents with you!

(

Joliet, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:02, archived)

Funny thing is we've had Celtic down twice in recent years

One for a cup final and one for Roy Keane's testimonial. Both times their fans have been great value - brilliant atmosphere around town, great laugh, no trouble whatsoever - job well done. what is it about Rangers fans?

I'm sorry - I promised myself I'd get over this. Ranting over.

but the fact that now the council have decided they won't show the champions league final in town on the strength of that behaviour still really pisses me off. Why should our jollies be compromised by the behaviour of these morons ffs.

Right! Re-fluff tiem. Someone give me kittiez!

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:07, archived)

It's not all of them.

You're upset? Imagine how the nice Rangers fans feel now they're being hated by association.

Probably. I've not actually spoken to anybody about it, but I'd consider that fucking unfair if it were me.

Actually let's not do this again. *determinedly fluffs*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:13, archived)

yer

I'm disappointed they didn't win (pace Prodge) but I'm annoyed they kicked off like they did - no need for that, this isn't Italy

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

I just feel sorry for all the nice ones who are now going to be bitched at

even more because of something they didn't do. All the vitriol in the world doesn't make it any less unfair on them.

But meh, I'm not involved at all. It's sad on all sides.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:17, archived)

I know it's a sweeping generalisation...

but it's part of the deal when you support a football team - you're all tarred with the same brush I'm afraid. I take crap off friends and colleagues for the behaviour of Man U fans at their away games - no doubt I'm in for a prolonged berating on thursday after the inevitable bloodbath in Moscow - and from personal observation, the 'tiny minority' of Gers supporters referred to in the media reports - wasn't so tiny.

/really really need to get over this blog

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

I think when anybody gets that irate over sport they're just

showing what a div they are anyway.

Not your irate, rioting irate. Your ire is quite justified, although I believe a little too focusless, but then I'm coming at this without a football fan's head on.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:23, archived)

Fair do's :)

bailing on this thread now - I promised myself I wasn't going to get wound up over this today!!

See you up there ^ somewhere for fluffeh tiem!

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:25, archived)

*hug*

EVERYONE IS LOVELY AND WE'RE ALL FRIENDS.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:28, archived)

they were antagonised by the dayglo jackets and the word POLICE

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:07, archived)

might be controversial but I'd like to go back to the time when coppers were allowed to hit back

or first in some cases.

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:26, archived)

*bombs chippy*

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:40, archived)

tut tut silly boy

(

Winthorpe Sim-Sala-Bim, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

That's cos he didn't have any pre-election policies.

Excellent.

The restaurant-trashing, bubble-lipped fuck-trailer.

edit/ Frankly, this should be getting more attention.

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:39, archived)

Good moaning,

boo only 22days of photoshop left before my trial runs out.

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:23, archived)

Oh hang on.

Erm, I'll get the wife to give me the link, but we bought the full adobe creative suite recently for a couple of hundred or thereabours.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:24, archived)

link for what?

just so you know i may or may not have a completely legal copy. It may possibly be a "back up" copy ;)

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:27, archived)

Link for the site where we got it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:28, archived)

yeah but you paid for it.

I am but a lowly pleb who spends all his money on beer and fags

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:29, archived)

Well.....don't, then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:30, archived)

i'd like the link.

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

Noted, when I get home tonight I'll ask him to grab it for me

it's favourited on his computer.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:32, archived)

orsum.

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:33, archived)

I've written it on my hand

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:39, archived)

now that's COMMITMENT.

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:42, archived)

You knows it.

The things I do for you.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:47, archived)

I'd like it too

because unless you have bought a student version from a licensed reseller I'll be amazed if that's a legal purchase. If it is I'll be very pissed off that mine cost me £700+ from Adobe and that included my 2+ previously licensed product discount. ( I'm talking CS3 btw I'm sure you can get older products more cheaply )

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:57, archived)

I'll have a look.

The wife certainly thought it was all above board, it's all registered with adobe and everything.

But hey, what do I know, eh? *shrugs*

Hello by the way.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:03, archived)

Hello Miss.

I forgot to say that's £724 update price. The full price was beyond a joke.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

I only know what I've been told.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:08, archived)

Noons awl

I don't know what I've been told but a big leg woman aint got no soul dan na ner ner nanananerner

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:20, archived)

I really don't mind

m'lady. I'd have been happy to tell you how to get it for free if you had not bought anything ;)

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:26, archived)

*drops robe*

Honey, I know how to get things for free.

:D

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

Adobe are as bad as Autodesk for shafting their customers

on upgrades. If you can stick the learning curve try Corel Draw. It's far cheaper and comes with a Photoshop type thing called Photo-paint. It's cheaper, but I get a few compatablity issues with Illustrator. That said, it's Corel Draw 12, which is about 5 years old.

(

Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

I have Corel Draw X4

and Painter X plus Paint shop pro X and PSP Photo X2.
Corel and I go waaaay back. Oh yeah, I forgot knockout 2. I have that also.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)

*waves* :D

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

Hello GORGEOUS!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:39, archived)

Trial versions *are* legal

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:29, archived)

they tend to get a bit miffed when you extend the trial for a couple of years though

i still haven't given mine a full appraisal, these things take time.

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

Well I didn't talk about extending of the trial... :)

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:32, archived)

its the full version

it just wont authorise

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:32, archived)

? Wobbly is confused?

D-Fenz, are you Captain Wows Wife?

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

nope

would be nice though

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

Bought?

*confused*

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:27, archived)

Yeah, we needed the entire suite

plus it's for business purposes, so should be as kosher as money allows, really.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:28, archived)

Dun you got this yet?

www.b3ta.com/board/8373058

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:33, archived)

....

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbwkkXGmFrI

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:58, archived)

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:02, archived)

Buying?

You're still in the dark ages.

(lickmyballsandscrotum, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:51, archived)

I'm not having my partner's business dreams

ruined by using pirated software. It's too dangerous, I'd rather just be above board when it comes to these things.

Plus it's really not that much money, we earn enough to cover it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:54, archived)

and counting

(

fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 16 May 2008, 11:24, archived)

tick tock tick tock

the seconds of you life, ticking away tick tock tick tock, don't waste your life on the internet or at work tick tock tick tock quick, do something before it's too late tock tick tock tick

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:26, archived)

how alarming!

(

fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

www.b3ta.com/board/8312317

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:48, archived)

You should crack it...

Photoshop is an amazing piece of kit.. must have taken thousands of man hours to create.. But im not going to reward that hard work financialy.. just because im an arsehole...

Cool pic by the way

(

Jorvic, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:25, archived)

BACK TO THE VIKING MUSEM WITH YOU!

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:27, archived)

Woo!

Well Viking does translate as Pirate!

Things b3ta has taught me about my Viking ways..

I revel in the gore and humour surrounding an infected legwound...

I refuse to pay for manythings that deserve payment

I am suspicious of Horseraddish...

(

Jorvic, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:29, archived)

Does it?

I'm part Viking and all pirate.

This is ace for me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

That's what the lazy people believe. ;)

We in the know think it comes from Vikja meaning deviants ( in the context of different or exiles ) because the Vikings were never a nationality but 'those who travelled abroad'.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:05, archived)

My ex was obsessed with Vikings, Odinism and the like.

If I'd have paid attention to anything he said instead of zoning out and thinking 'you're really fit, you look like a viking David Coverdale, but you adore the sound of your own voice far too much' I'd probably know that already.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:09, archived)

don't forget the joys of

joy enducing mushrooms... and orgies.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:33, archived)

My theory is

if I can't afford to buy it, who am i ripping off by downloading it?

They get fuck all either way

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:28, archived)

um...

if you can't afford it, don't use it. Try elements, which is cheaper, or GIMP which is free.

_{pffft, like I believe this}

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:33, archived)

I know someone who tested that arguement with adobe

to back up his case, he sent them a copy of his bank statement.

I cried a little when I heard

(Stranger hates the sun on his laptop screen, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:37, archived)

as long as you aren't using it for any financial gain whatsoever I think that's fine

If however you were making money from shopping images and say, submitting them to a magazine, I'd suggest you have another think about what you're doing and maybe invest in a legal copy of Paint Shop Pro X which you can afford twice over with each Nuts image ;)

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:48, archived)

Yeah

but I do those at work cos I havent got a tablet at home

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:10, archived)

I agree

the developers got paid regardless.

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:28, archived)

Promise?

(

Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:26, archived)

I dont mean that as nastily as it sounds I just couldnt think of anything clever to say.

(

Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:28, archived)

OOOOOooooooowwwww

*Lifts handbag*

(

Jorvic, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:33, archived)

which bros boy is this is it ant or dec

i always get them confused.

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:27, archived)

oh dear

its me i think i'm going to go hang myself. mind you it could have been worse. you could have compared me to either dick or dom

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

that's a nasty looking wrist sprain you have there

judging from the amount of strapping it's got on it.

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:33, archived)

Use MSPaint..

It's Brill!

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:28, archived)

i did once it were reet fun

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:36, archived)

O......K......

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:43, archived)

indeed

paint are good

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:49, archived)

I'll come back on the board in 22 days then

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:32, archived)

bring food

please

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:38, archived)

You need to eat more pies.

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:35, archived)

Peer-to-peer software is your friend

Get Limewire or Azureus BitTorrent client and download the fuck out of a cracked version of CS3*

*may be considered illegal

(Stoopid_Faaka, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:42, archived)

eew limewire

hello virtumonde.

(

fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 16 May 2008, 11:46, archived)

did that

forgot to run my virus software. and myy computer got the bad aids

(D-Fenz Who put bacon in the soap?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:50, archived)

yeah, that can happen

Some cleansing might be required after first installing it.

(Stoopid_Faaka, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:17, archived)

torrent sites are your friend

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:47, archived)

Ronnie Corbett as....

Johnny Alpha: Strontium Pup

(

Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:16, archived)

for some reason I can't help but think of Life of Brian...

"Welease Wodger!"

edit: should explain - just as he looked very roman

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:18, archived)

Number 3 cartridge!

best of all the thermal lances...

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:19, archived)

Wait - have I missed new icons?

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:21, archived)

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:25, archived)

Robinsons Jam is clearly unpopular because that's teh first time I've seen it.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:27, archived)

there was much debate

about whether it was racist or ironic.

Most people are erring on the side of caution!

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:54, archived)

Erring on the side of caution...

I seem to be on the wrong website... sorry... thought this was b3ta.

(

SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:11, archived)

I like screw-head

it looks like a little anadin!

(

Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:29, archived)

only by a few months

(

Weetobix, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:25, archived)

poor dwayne chambers :(

cfb

(Stranger hates the sun on his laptop screen, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:15, archived)

POTENTIALLY RACIST

(

Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:19, archived)

they've even blurred the white person out

BAN THIS POTENTIALLY SICK FILTH

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:20, archived)

Bloody foreigners with their ways.

(

Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:26, archived)

It's called a 'BullCott'...

Watch yer fingers mind...

(

Ninj, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:13, archived)

Hahaha

Could you animate him coiling one out? perfect expression for that

(

Jorvic, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:13, archived)

Oooh...

that's made me feel quite ill. Love the word 'coiling' :-)

(

Ninj, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:15, archived)

him humping a cat with that expression would be funny also

do appologise for making you feel unwell...

(

Jorvic, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:17, archived)

Brilliant pic to use...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:14, archived)

hit it with a pie!

ok, time to do stuff, back later

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:14, archived)

Yay!

He's finally lost some weight!

Enormously overweight bullimic cunt!

(

Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:14, archived)

Yeah, how was he bulimic again?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:18, archived)

heh

is he eying up a pie?

(

- D - SharkTrousers, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:16, archived)

whiiinnneee

'I was I was eating a pie right now...'

WOO YAY

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:17, archived)

Presumably it's offspring

Would be a boycott?

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:18, archived)

It would

indeed Sir! Ha ha ha

(

Ninj, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:20, archived)

There's a voice, that keeps on callin' me...

Probably doesn't qualify, but I'm compo-ing it anyway...

(

LeightonJimbo has remembered his password!, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:08, archived)

Does it say Cock?

EDIT: Sorry, Woo to your image

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:09, archived)

That's just what we shout at you.

OMGLUVSURLY

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:10, archived)

HaHa HaHa HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa Ha Haaaaaa

* Contains Lies

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:11, archived)

*lower lip trembles*

I opened up to you then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:12, archived)

HaHa HaHa HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa Ha Haaaaaa

* Genuine

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:14, archived)

makes 'lub lub lub' noise with lower lip

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:14, archived)

Do not feed the captain after sunset.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:15, archived)

see - now I just want to do exactly that

to see what happens

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:17, archived)

Mayhem. Mayhem and chaos.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:19, archived)

you're not discouraging me in the slightest

... I crave mayhem

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:22, archived)

Euronymous might smell a bit now.

And Dead comes with 60% less head than he used to.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:23, archived)

* How do you type that rasberry noise?

Is it Rasp... or Ppphhhuuullllppp... ?

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:15, archived)

Thbpbpbpbpbpb.

if all the Beanos I read as a kid are to be believed.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:16, archived)

What?

But you are a girl! You should have been reading Bunty surely!

(

Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:18, archived)

Occasionally I read a Bunty

But that more often than not ended up with me going 'pfft, this shit is for girls' and picking up a beano or dandy. Fast forward a few years and that becomes the Abominations, Iron Man or Preacher.

I don't really read girly shit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:20, archived)

interesting fact

the cover of Bunty makes good roach while the cover of the Beano does not... make of that what you will.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:23, archived)

Ringbinder dividers.

99p for 10 a4 sheets of perfect roach.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:24, archived)

do they still sell ninjaskins?

I used to love them ... nice and big, come with enough roach to smoke a forest and supported fantistic new music.

ACE... hhmmmmm

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:29, archived)

Are they made by the same people

as Highland skins?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:30, archived)

if ninja tunes make highland skins then yes

if they don't then no.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:37, archived)

yes they do still sell Ninja Skins

so long rizzla - hello old friend.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

I used to read Jackie

* This is totally untrue and I will hurt anyone who says it is!

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:28, archived)

You used to read Jackie.

Bring it on, bitch.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:29, archived)

Hurts!

S P A N G - S P A N G - S P A N G - F W A P S - S P A N G - S P A N G

My work here is done

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:36, archived)

*pants*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:41, archived)

Do you want some more?

*boxers*

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:44, archived)

Oh my word

stop before I explode in a shower of ladyspluff.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:52, archived)

*Stops...

*Explodes excreting a generous helping of Dr. Wobblys throat medicine

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:58, archived)

I lik eit

cocking spaniel

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:12, archived)

Woo!

"down the road, that's where I'll always be,
every stop I make, I make a new friend,
can't stay for long, just turn around
and I'm gone again!"

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:16, archived)

it'd have been more realistic if he'd just broken into people's houses, eaten all their food and shat everywhere, then buggered off

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:19, archived)

Arf arf arf! Most woo-some sir.

Can he lick his own balls whilst sorting out the congestion charge?

I'm just going to cheekily slip this pea in for the compo if that's OK...

CFB

(

sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:19, archived)

Now we know who is pulling the strings!

(webmeister is ready for the pub, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:07, archived)

Minty off Eastenders?

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:08, archived)

Hahaha!

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:09, archived)

Ha ha ha!

Top observation skills prize goes to the Mighty Nibus!

(

Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:11, archived)

\o/

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:17, archived)

Oh hai, popular mutant

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 11:08, archived)

OPEN YOUR MIND!

woo!

(

- D - SharkTrousers, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:09, archived)

~~mind~~ legs

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:10, archived)

~~mind~~ behind

(

Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:15, archived)

NOT long live the new flesh.

Not at ALL.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:09, archived)

I believe that the growth in my head, this head, this one right here... I think that it is not really a tumor... not an uncontrolled, undirected little bubbling pot of flesh... but that it is in fact a new organ... a new part of the brain.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 11:16, archived)

I must watch that film again.

Not tonight though. Tonight shall be Blade Runner or Running Man.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:17, archived)

I suggest blade runner

or the science of sleep.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:19, archived)

I'd suggest Naked Lunch

If you're following your original line of thought.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 11:21, archived)

I still don't own it.

I know how stupid that is.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:22, archived)

Pffft.

It's available for mere pennies on teh interweb thing.

(

Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 11:29, archived)

It just never occurs to me...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:31, archived)

Ohhhh Pi.

Might have to be Pi actually.

Watched 30 days of night last weekend, that wasn't so bad. Nice cinematography, but then that's so easy to do nowadays that most films regardless of subject matter look gorgeous, so it's not really saying anything.

I didn't mind it at all. Josh Hartnett surprised me a bit, actually. And it's got Jango Fett in it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:22, archived)

yeah

I saw this film atthe cinema and was mildly dissapointed... it should have been mind smudgingly good, but it was just alright.

I agree with the other stuff though. Hopefully they'll get it right next time.

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:25, archived)

Well the comics (read: the few in my flat) are BEAUTIFUL.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:27, archived)

*BROMP*

(

- D - SharkTrousers, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:06, archived)

also:

(

- D - SharkTrousers, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:06, archived)

<O_O> . o O ( glans! )

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:07, archived)

hahaha FUCKING WINNER!

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:08, archived)

No your not - I am!

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:12, archived)

haha

that's gonna spurt on impact

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:13, archived)

it'll end up looking like

when Darth Vader killed OB1

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:15, archived)

nice taggage...

SkUG on his chest there.. ;P

(

SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:55, archived)

Yea sorry about that...

I think the original image was yours but I can't remember what you did with it?

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:07, archived)

GLANS?

GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS? GLANS?

(

discomeats This canoe, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:06, archived)

GLANS!

GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS! GLANS!

(

- D - SharkTrousers, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:14, archived)

Hahahaha!

Woo!