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# Kunt & The Gang Interview
I love the songs of Kunt & The Gang and have just been on the phone to him and he's agreed to a B3ta interview.

If you're going WHO? Then try youtube: www.youtube.com/kuntandthegang

Add your questions to this thread.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:19, archived)
# Dear Kunt.
Can I have one of those polaroids of your ex girlfriend who died?

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)
# Fucking A!
Kunt and the Gang rock!

Kunt, and your gang, if you were to suck another blokes cock, and it can be anyone's, living or dead, whose would it be? And do you think you would like it this time?

Redsushi! 24 and 1 quarter.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)
# Who are you and why should I care?
sorry
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)
# Not Safe for Work.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)
#
brilliant
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)
# I don't have a question
but thats fucking hilarious
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)
# Why do you never play any major festivals?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)
# Dear Kurt

what's it like being the poor mans Goldie

/one stupid gold tooth blog
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)
# What's the best way of attracting Spanish cats with huge bollocks?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)
# Do you play bar mitzvahs?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)
# Dear Kunt
How can I get hair as fabulous as yours?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)
# Wow
What a scoop
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)
# Following on from Perverts on the Internet,
Who is your favourite pervert? On the internet or off.

Also, who is your favourite piece of Jailbait in history? Natalie Portman in Leon or Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver? Or maybe there are others?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)
# Emma Watson - harry potter
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)
# *calls Dateline NBC*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)
# Natalie Portman was, what, 12-13 in Leon?
I think they might be interested in you too :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)
# *runs away*
Ha ha ha! You can't catch me....
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
# Natalie Portman is the same age as me
therefore I am allowed to fancy her in Leon as I was the same age as her then and can refer to it as a teenage crush.

This logic cannot be faulted in any way
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
# I believe people were getting hot and bothered about that lazytown chick too
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)
# You fucking pervert!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
# I did the Olsen Twins
BEFORE they were famous
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 20:11, archived)
# and...
the girl in Hanson?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:11, archived)
# If you had a fetish, what would it be?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)
# I have only masturbated once today
how many times have you masturbated today?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)
# hahaha this^^
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
# have you ever offended anyone in a really satisfying way?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:30, archived)
# What is your greatest attribute,
and how does it help you in your day-to-day life?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)
# Bwahahahahaha!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)
# If you could get a good record deal, but had to tone down on the language in your songs, would you accept it?

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)
# Are you a dog or cat person?
I'm both. Apparently this is not really allowed.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
# If you weren't called Kunt & the Gang, what would you be called?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
# do the people of basildon apprieciate you?
failing that do you call it Bas-vegas like we do?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)
# If they'd asked you to perform your moving Michael Jackson tribute
at his Memorial Concert, would you have accepted?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
# When was the last time you did a proper arms stretched out impression of a plane?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
# If you could be anyone in the world, just for one day,
who would you kill?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)
# Who was your last wank over?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)
# If you were Richard Whitely,
and you came back from the dead, how would you eat your Creme Egg?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)
# Hi Mr. Kunt and Gang.
Who are you?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)
# As Rob explained in his post,
If you are asking who, click the link.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)
# As a rapist,
what is your favourite colour of Midget Gem?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
# my questions - I know it looks mad replying to myself but Kunt won't see them overwise
Tell me about one of your songs that started as a true story?
Is the gold tooth real?
What job's have you done in the past?
How does being called "Kunt" effect your chances of commercial success?
What do you think of famous people?
Have you ever met Carol Vordermnn?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
# Affect ;)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)
# The guy's called Kunt and the gang
I doubt he gives a shit about grammar
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)
# arf
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:01, archived)
# you are right
and I thank you for pointing out a spelling error on the internet. You have brought sunshine and joy into my life.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:03, archived)
# Damn right bitch ;)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:36, archived)
# Better not mention the stray apostrophe either....
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:03, archived)
# Dear Kunt,
that's an interesting name.
How did you come up with it?
Is it a reference to anything in popular culture, or did you just make it up?
As I said, it's pretty interesting.
Take care now,
ClanSoul. x
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
# I fear this may not be intended as a joke.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)
# Kunt,
What is your biggest vice? Drinking? Smoking? Sucking other blokes' dicks? Heroin? Or maybe something else?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)
# Have you ever met Kool
from that other gang? He's called Robert Bell in real life.
If so, does he like your stuff?

Oh, and are you in a real gang? Like, with a hideout and passwords and stuff...
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)
# Have you ever thought of entering the Eurovision Song Contest?
If not, have you ever thought of entering Carol Smillie?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)
# Did you watch space shuttle endeavour launch on wednesday night?
I did and it was awesome
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:51, archived)
# Dear Kunt
What's your favourite song you done written
What is your favourite song someone else made
Can you/will you do a cover of that song in a kunt & the gang style?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:51, archived)
# Boxers or briefs?
What colour?

edit: oh, I just saw the video. Ignore that.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)
# Dear Kunt,
Do you like dolphins? I like dolphins but not as much as horses.
Do you think seaworld should have horses?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)
# Dear Kunt
Why do you wear that wig ? What are you hiding underneath that sheath?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:57, archived)
# Teach me how to make my hair as sexy as you.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:20, archived)
# Daddy or chips?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:27, archived)
# Hometown
Do you feel your music is the natural progression of the other Basildon boys done good Depeche Mode and have they offered you a support slot on their forthcoming shows?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:47, archived)
# Kunt
What, in your opinion, is the best way to remove an ocelot from someone's ascending colon?

A totally hypothetical query, you understand, but one which I could do with a reply for rather urgently, as the bastard thing is starting to scratch like mad, and I need to have a shit quite desperately.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)
# Did you try to titilate the ocelot?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:47, archived)
# I'm looking for a good book to read
have you any suggestions?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:55, archived)
# when did you first become interested in <what it is you do>
and why
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)
# Carol Vorderman or chips?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)
# also my pal will said you tasted like beefy wheat crunchies. discuss
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:19, archived)
# Is Little Kunt supposed to be your son?
And do you keep him on when you masturbate?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:06, archived)
# If you watch the documentary on him...
He's his non identical symbiotic twin..
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 20:28, archived)
# Please can you suggest a good torrent for your albums?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:15, archived)
# What can you possibly call your next album?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:17, archived)
# What's your favourite insult?
and I live near Basildon - should I be scared?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:24, archived)
# Are fred and rose your favorite serial killers?
or do you prefer Dennis Nilson?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:29, archived)
# Nilsen *cough*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:59, archived)
# Who else do you think we would like?
Also, will you suck me off?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)
# Dear Mr Kunt
Can you sing "Database Latency" in a deep voice please?
Ours is too high.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:53, archived)
# Dear Kunt & The Gang,
Would you like to see a picture of me having a wank over a picture of your mum?

Love,
JackAction.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 20:01, archived)
# Dear Kunt & The Gang,
I just listened to one of your songs. How will you go about giving me back the 3 minutes of my life you stole?

Love, JackAction.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 20:11, archived)
# Kunt, aren't you the ginger bloke off Pimp my Ride UK?
Also, how long did it take you to save up for the awesome keyboard in "Perverts"? Or did your mum get you it for Christmas?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 20:14, archived)
# Kunt
If you were in an accident and had to have any animal grafted to your body to save your life, what animal would it be?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)
# Bit obvious...
Who in your gang is the the biggest kunt and why?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 20:24, archived)
# Is it true that Little Kunt
Is planning a solo album of Glitter covers?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:03, archived)
# What else have people used your arsehole as?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:05, archived)
# Great guy!
Ive been in one of Kunt's videos. And i didnt have to suck him off. Well, not much.

My question is, where can i buy Kunt merchandice? Is there a "real doll" version of Little Kunt?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:39, archived)
# Hello Mr Kunt
I love your Fred and Rose opus, will you be doing anymore ditties about serial killers, and if so, who about?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:56, archived)
# And what's stopping you from entering Britain's got talent?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:57, archived)
#
^this

Oh, a hundred times ^this!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)
# Dear Mr Kunt,

I am writing to you to inform your very good self that I do most sincerely and greatly enjoy your humble videos.
They really do make me laugh most appallingly like a drain.

However do you feel that you are an appropriate entertainer for an innocent girly like me?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 22:10, archived)
# Dear Kunt
What would you rather be for a day - an ugly girl or a hot ladyboy?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)
# Have you guys ever thought about making a musical?
Because it'd be a joy, I'm sure. And an internet sensation! Sort of like Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog, but with profanity and knobs and stuff.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)
# can you write a song that involves
swine flu, wanking and terrorists?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)
#
* Have your parents ever heard your songs?
* If you were asked to do Eurovision, what would you call your entry?
* Do you think glitter beat could ever make a comeback?
* Have you ever been offended by a joke?
* Do you swear in front of your relatives?
* If you apply for a day job, do you mention Kunt and The Gang on your CV?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 23:09, archived)
# Kunt,
I am in Southend and sometimes you are in Southend, or you have been, and you are in Basildon and I go past Basildon sometimes.
Should I stop to take in the sights? Or not?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 23:16, archived)
# kunt
underpants....
comfort or style?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)
# Slade or Quo?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 0:00, archived)
# Do you think that we have come to an harmonious cul-de-sac...
...and would a better contrapuntal technique improve music in general?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 0:01, archived)
# What song would you like played at
your funeral? One of your own, or...whose?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 0:56, archived)
# So, Mr Kunt
Fess up, you're Lady Gaga without the soft focus aren't you?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 0:58, archived)
# Dear Mr. Kunt
do you realize that gangs are a serious threat and a menace to society? how did yours get started?
also, have you considered making some extra cash at your local sperm bank?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 1:10, archived)
#
live dog, or dead lady?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 1:24, archived)
# Dear Mr Kunt
If you changed your name to something more radio friendly, say "Count and his Friends", wouldn't you stand a better chance of getting played on 107.2 FM The Wyre, Kidderminster? Also, you would have to change both the name and content of most of your songs.
Cumquat May
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 2:48, archived)
# I've not heard of you or listened to you, but why should I?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 3:42, archived)
# Deat Kunt
You must be the only band to have produced a sweary Chas and Dave cover / rip-off. Are you big fans of the Rockney masters?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 4:54, archived)
# casio VL-tone
in one of your videos i think i saw you playing a casio VL-tone keyboard. Despite its small size and cheap sound, it's actually quite a cult device. One website says, "the simple cheesy sounds of the VL-Tone have been used by Apollo 440, Devo, the Talking Heads, the Cars, Dee-Lite, Sting, Stevie Wonder, Vince Clarke, Beastie Boys, The Human League, Trio, White Town, and Bill Nelson."

What made you choose this particular instrument?

(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 6:47, archived)
# what is your favorite haiku?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 7:43, archived)
# 'Wild and Peaceful' really was one of the best dance albums of the seventies
but what was the inspiration after some hardcore funk on the A side (Funky stuff) for the wonderful jazz funk on the B side ("Life Is What You Make It", "Wild and Peaceful")?

(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:14, archived)
# Do you reckon you could beat Katy Brand in a fight?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 12:20, archived)
# Yay
If you had to choose between going down on Margaret Thatcher or Gordon Brown, who'd you choose?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 12:47, archived)
# Dear Kunt
Could you set me up with your mum?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 13:10, archived)
# Ladyboys
would you do 'em?

Also, what are your opinions on dwarf porn?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 13:10, archived)
# Dear Mr Kunt
I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the entire town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window

But seriously, what are your thoughts on Platonic epistemology?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 13:14, archived)
# Holidays
When are you coming to Cornwall?

You haven't done a song about your holidays yet and we all know you Essex crowd head down to Newquay, catch crabs from the locals and leave with sunburn and a nastly little itch.

First two weeks in August?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 14:14, archived)
# Dearest Kunt,
How long could you survive on a diet of only shit, piss and cum?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)
# What
did you tell your mums was the name of your band? Do you not feel a tiny bit bad when at family do's and having to tell grandma what your band is called?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 16:29, archived)
# If God offered you Stretch Armstong / Dhalsim off Street Fighter 2 Turbo-esque stretching / reaching powers...
but said you could only use them for purposes of child molestation, would you accept them, or would you feel too pressured into it?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 16:29, archived)
# When are you touring ?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 19:18, archived)
# Dear Kunt,
When do you believe the Treasury's fiscal stimulus should be wound down?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 21:11, archived)
# Who have been your biggest musical influences?
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 21:44, archived)
# You Kunt
I've never seen the Gang.

Who are they, why have you pushed them out of the limelight? Don't you realise that they helped you get where you are and now you just stab them in the back? Stardom gone to your head you bastage?

It's always the same in the fame game.

S
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 2:33, archived)
# Dear Kunt,
Have you thought about doing a tour throughout Israel and Palestine in the name of peace?

(If so get in touch and I'll see if I can sort you out; flights are cheap at the moment!)
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 2:39, archived)
# What's it like to take a shot in the mouth?
And did you cup the balls properly?
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 3:13, archived)
# Go on then, just this once...
You clearly draw from many and varied sources, serial killers, kiddie fiddlers, wanking, all the usual stuff we expect from a top rated artist, but have you ever tried composing songs around more outlandish subjects that you considered too touchy or offensive to release?

Your #2 fan, VicJameson.
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 3:33, archived)
# Is that a wig?
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)
# Mr Kunt
Plato once said "Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another".

With this in mind, does your cock have any humorous deformities?
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 12:22, archived)
# Dear Kunt;
kippers: hot- or cold-smoked?
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 13:31, archived)
# Have you ever been to Hemel?
Is it weird that everything's the same as Basildon but different?
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)
# If you had one wish...
would it be to shoot your load into Madeline McCann?
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 20:53, archived)
#
Does your mum approve of all this?
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 21:38, archived)
# Corrie?
What is going on with all the references to Coronation Street?
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 22:27, archived)
# Dear Kunt
I don't know who you are, but I really wanted to have some input to this.
Would you like some toast?
(, Sun 19 Jul 2009, 2:08, archived)
# ok ok
1. What's the upper age boundary for someone who you would (i) choose, (ii) want to shit on?
2. Would you do Eurovision? Which song do you think would work the best?
3. Who is your idol?
4. How do I book you for my toddler's birthday party? Do you do other forms of entertainment?
5. Does the tip of your penis hang lower than your scrotum?
(, Sun 19 Jul 2009, 12:08, archived)
# Kunt
Would you consider changing the name of your act to something that didn't contain the word kunt if it meant that you'd get to be on telly?
(, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 8:55, archived)
# Mr. Kunt,
In Carol Vorderman you say you like a finger up the bum, but on Fred and Rose you deny this. So do you or do you not prefer a finger in the brown during masturbation??
(, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 14:05, archived)
# Quo or Slade?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 21:29, archived)
#
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:19, archived)
# This is rubbish, you should do more vectoring.
Of obscure emo bands.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)
# GET THE FUCK IN!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)
# I like this!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)
# I blame Richard O'Brien for being a bastard to him
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)
# MORE OF THIS SORT OF THING!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)
# I read frame 4 as "wanging myself"
and frame 5 as auto-erotic-asphyxiation
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)
# hahaha
*is not deadness*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:12, archived)
# im too busy working
to make a real effort sorry :)

im so glad to be back on T'internet

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
# Thank you for telling us all to stick it.
Now take your own advice ;)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:18, archived)
# its a tattoo
the hand loves b3ta
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)
# That's nice dear
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)
# sweary fingers FTW

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
# Ouch.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)
# needs more sausage organ
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
# daddy would you like some sausage?
daddy would you like some sausages?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)
# :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)
[challenge entry] Anyone remember Harvey? I always did think there were interesting similarities...
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)
# Or add in a Native American girl to make Pookahontas
I liked Harvey. It's a sweet film.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
# Nicely.
Has Donnie Darko 2 come out yet?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:03, archived)
# Yes
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
# And?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)
# and it was called S Darko
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:06, archived)
# Thank you :P
Is it any good?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:07, archived)
# Str8 to DVD as I understand
so prolly not, no...
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)
# Dunno
I've heard it's nowhere near as good, though.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)
# tis straight to dvd
which isn't a great omen...

(i haven't seen it though)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)
# it's ok....nothing great

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)
# Someone who has seen it :D
Thank you Prodge :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
# You asked a question, I answered it.

Also: this made me chuckle
kent.gumtree.com/kent/75/41257075.html
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
I didn't realise Riverghost was looking for work ;)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)
# Yup
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)
# I thought so too when I saw it...
Nice one!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
# Oh, very nicely done.
Also:

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)
# Hahaha!
NOW that expression makes sense! ;)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:11, archived)
# Arf!
It really tickled me, actually.

I have a similar expression when presented with booze...
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)
# very good

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)
[challenge entry] Doc Hudson died yesterday in his last car crash.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)
# hehe :)
would make a subtle difference to the storyline :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)
# Lightning McWoo!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)
[challenge entry] This is Sparta tap!


Click for bigger (204 kb)


Most likely this has been done before but god it took so long to do the text
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:42, archived)
# Nicely,
but needs more turning up to 11 :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)
# It does
But Photoshop doesn't allow any 11 turning. Shame.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)
# 's a good job the text looks so awesome then :)
woo!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)
# does it go to 11??
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)
# Only if you bribe it.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
# with large bread?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)
# Or a cheeseburger...

Without the cheese
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
# superb job on the text
that's some mighty embossing and gradient overlaying
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)
# the thread rush has stopped
phew
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)
# Quick!
Everyone repost!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
# End of day doodle.....

....I do miss the purple.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:39, archived)
# Titanic Fail!
Oh and your picture? I couldn't give an Eartha....

Woo!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)
# Tim Sale for the win
The Long Halloween version is purrfect.

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)
# Coo!
*stares*
*dribbles*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)
# Rachael Weiss is going to play Catwoman in the next Batman film
phwoar

EDIT - THIS MAY NOT BE TRUE: PLEASE SEND COMPLAINTS TO MY RUMOUR SPREADING MATE "NEIL" WHO SPENDS TOO MUCH TIME ON IGN AND WANKING OVER DONKEY PORN*.


*May also be untrue
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)
# I didn't know there was going to be another.
Y'know with Nolan shutting down because Ledger died.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:43, archived)
# *suddenly regrets typing unsubstantiated rumour*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)
# Though I did hear Emily Blunt was considered
I'd prefer Weiss though. She's got a damned sexy voice.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)
# She's just darn sexy in every respect.
*rubs thighs*

*then rubs own thighs*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)
# *thighs rubbers*
What?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)
# A film about the relationship between the Bat and the Cat would be good.
But I know they'd botch it and throw in a bunch of surpluss characters.
They'd inevitably have catwoman as a villain at the start and going good at the end to help thwart a bigger baddie.
Bleh.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)
# I'd like to see Talia A'Ghul make an appearence.
She's quite tasty for a villain.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:54, archived)
# Oo nice
I'm drawing something batman related to!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
# GREAT!...
...can't say enough about it...!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)
# smashing :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)
[challenge entry] bollocks to timing


(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)
# :)
Nice.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)
# Oh WIN!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)
# \o/
Ladies & Gentlemen, we have a winner.

*clicks*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)
# Superb you rotter!
*click* :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:39, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
Aceness :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:39, archived)
# Far to cool
:D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:39, archived)
# Oh clever!!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)
# make for an interesting soundtrack, eh?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:42, archived)
# heh
as long as Celine Dion gets dismembered in the first half hour, she can contribute a 'song'
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)
# hahaha
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)
# there are so many awesome posts in this compo :)
superb :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:43, archived)
# Fantastic, sir
*click*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)
# bloody awesome sir
Awesome I tells ya!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)
# Took me minute...
then, WIN!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)
# this is ace!
well done, you.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
# i have to click this...
...*done*!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:59, archived)
[challenge entry] Persia...dead ahead!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:35, archived)
# superb!
still havent seen 300. Should I?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:35, archived)
# yes!
rippling muscles
men shouting sparta!
copious amounts of gore.

It's basically sandals and swords porn for the playstation generation
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)
# Depends...
Do you like films about gladiators?

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)
# hahaha
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)
# I love airplane
but a serious answer for you and Joe: Yes, it's worth seeing.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)
# me neither
if you find out if you should - let me know if I should

I will spend the entire film waiting for the SPARTA moment though.

B3ta - not good for films you haven't yet watched
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)
# Worth a watch, but it's not fantastic.
Just a really long and very well choreographed fight scene, really.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)
# I thought
it was just as disappointing as the book. Not crap, just a touch...bathotic.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)
# I will say categorically that I hated it and face yet again the wrath of the mucho macho gore lovers,
and you should definitely never mention the word 'Homoerotic' in their presence neither...
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
# This is absolutely fantastic
One word... Genius!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:35, archived)
# Thanks Barbie!
:)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)
# Fuck yeah!
Also, my mate who works for Sky just rang me up and gave me a free login to watch The Ashes online with Sky. Woot!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)
# thats a bit good
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)
# Titanic's well bindun innit
edit: it's also bloody good, you git
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)
# Not as good as yours sir!
;)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)
# Fantabulous sir :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)
# Thank you Earl
:D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)
# Oh I like that. Very well done

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)
# Like this enormously.
:D

Top work, sir.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)
# Bless you JP!
:D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:42, archived)
# totally awesome :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)
# OOH TA!
*blushes like a fool* :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)
# ha ha...
...you're good!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)
# Thanks Atomic!
:)
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:58, archived)
# This is my favourite entry in this whole compo so far
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 22:36, archived)
# That
Is fantastic.
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)
# hahaha
nicely done, nicely done!

(, Sun 19 Jul 2009, 1:03, archived)
# .
So that's where my bloody parcel went.
(, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)
[challenge entry] A bit obvious really
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:32, archived)
# YES!!!!!
Excellent!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:33, archived)
# pffft...
subtle
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:35, archived)
# So much so that it has been done
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:35, archived)
# Thanks for your input.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:36, archived)
# Wah wah wah!
I have had a shit day :(
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:39, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAHAH
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)
# Show me?
I just spazzed through and I couldn't find it
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)
# my mistake
It was short circuit as fifth element

sorry
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)
# Sorry I can't hear you, can you say it a bit louder please? :P
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)
# What the fuck?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)
# That was mine :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)
# 'Nothing Nice to Say?, say nothing'
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)
# hahahahah
*board dies through lack of use*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)
# Ha!
As ever, Mr S, nail on the head.

Earl can't / is choosing not to see me, though. I evidently upset him when he was called out for some blatant racism.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)
# I think the way the ignore thing works is bonkers
It punishes the ignorer more than the ignoree...
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:54, archived)
# You have a point there.
Cannot deny it.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
# The simple answer is to not take the internet so seriously
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)
# >:(
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
# An even better point.
I feel bad now.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:06, archived)
# It wasn't meant to be aimed at you.
I was referring to using the ignore button, but it's generally useful I guess
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)
# No offense taken, sir
What you say is true.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)
# Well if you weren't such a fucking racist!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)
# Me?
Hang on a minute!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
# Is it coz I is fake tanned?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:03, archived)
# Arf!
you bad man.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)
# Ace work :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)
# LOLMOVIEPOSTERSLOL :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)
[challenge entry] die hard/the dark knight
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:32, archived)
# Hahaha yeah!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:32, archived)
# Well, he *is* a Postman in the original...
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:30, archived)
# whilst you were out....
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:32, archived)
# nicley
*sucks being at the bottom of a threadrush eh*
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)
# Ah well....
:D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)
# Bindun shirley?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)
# hahahaha
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:33, archived)
# Thanks
as the Board approaches Mach 2
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)
[challenge entry] It's euthanasia day at the hospital!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)
# You've even got Frankenstein in there
Running over the French
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:27, archived)
# If it is the orginal death race then it is win
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)
# there is
only the original :) i choose to ignore the remake
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:30, archived)
# surprisingly
not bad
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)
# i fucking hate jason stathom the cunt
hes fucked some of my fav films with his hamtouching
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:30, archived)
# I have only seen in which ever lock stock it was
I choose not to watch his films
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:32, archived)
[challenge entry] blame the venlafaxine... :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)
# This wins the image challenge
clicking like the fist of the north star!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)
# thanks!
:D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)
# Hahahaha!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)
# Ace!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)
# hehehe :)
venlafaxine is good, unless you miss a day
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:22, archived)
# really?
somebody else said that to me too what happens?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)
# penis explodes

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:27, archived)
# ...
.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:27, archived)
# in a good way!

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:32, archived)
# You feel like shit, you get withdrawls from it
Even if you take it as soon as you realise you have missed it you still feel crap, really, really, don't miss a day
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:27, archived)
# fuck
the neurologist didnt tell me this the git
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)
# Erk no not for me
sweaty delirium.
Citalopram made me wake up tripping, which was weirdly good.
Prothiaden for that poleaxed feeling.
I could go on...
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)
#
♫never say never say never, never♫
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:22, archived)
# OH hahahahaha
Love it
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)
# Fucking rubbish.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)
# :)
you love it!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)
# I do!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)
# My attempt from the previous Movie Combos challenge -

You win on the tattyshop skilz, though.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)
# haha!
you win on madness! :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)
# hahaha :D
quality :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)
# Don't blame it on the venlafaxine
♫ Don't blame it on the duloxetine
Blame it on the escilatopram ♫
♫
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)
# hahahaha :D
eccelente!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:42, archived)
# hahaha
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 20:53, archived)
[challenge entry] One the whole family can enjoy.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)
# Hahaha
:D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)
# A really short film.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)
# Bloody short
Alien asleep in its gunk. A door opens, it's a closet. A green head pops out, sneaks up to the slumbering xenomorph and shouts Boo. The end.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)
[challenge entry] He looks proper worried! Hahaha...
In other news, I am avoiding threadrush by posting this here.

Before judging it as crap, please bear in mind that I cobbled the whole thing together from scratch, without cutting and pasting from either film poster.
And that I have no talent.
Thank you.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)
# Red panda! Woo!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:32, archived)
# whilst researching this poster
I decided that red pandas are possibly the cutest creatures in the world.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:34, archived)
# hahaha
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)
[challenge entry] I made a new friend today.


Edit: Maybe not.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)
[challenge entry] It's b3ta law that everytime there's a film mash-up challenge someone must do Nosferatu's shadow

so I call dibs!
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)
# Hahaha well done :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)
# woo thats ace!


sorry
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)
# Pfft
Naughty step please
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)
# hehehee
but sir - sir Frogbeat made me do it! :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)
# Well, at least you didn't stick Jackson's/Glitters's head on it...
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)
# i'm not that
predictable! :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)
# Haha.
Dick Cheney.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)
# Nicely :)
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)
# Bootiful.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)
# another awesome entry :D
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

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