b3ta.com user HappyToast
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.

Here's my first ever post!

Recent front page messages:

(Sun 7th Apr 2024, 16:01, More)

"The hotel is built on an old Indian burial ground"

(Fri 5th Apr 2024, 18:34, More)

Play it nice and cool Tom, nice and cool, you know what I mean

(Fri 5th Apr 2024, 16:42, More)

(Fri 8th Mar 2024, 13:30, More)

Toht is fine

(Fri 1st Mar 2024, 7:14, More)

Van Gogh's Garage Flowers

(Wed 28th Feb 2024, 16:42, More)

(Sun 25th Feb 2024, 19:52, More)

Oh my

(Sat 24th Feb 2024, 16:03, More)

Includes the hit single "And your Klingon bird of prey can sing"

(Sat 24th Feb 2024, 12:33, More)

(Mon 12th Feb 2024, 16:21, More)

(Sun 4th Feb 2024, 19:13, More)

(Sun 28th Jan 2024, 22:01, More)

Click for bigger (264 kb)
(Fri 25th Aug 2023, 18:48, More)

(Mon 10th Jul 2023, 14:42, More)

Coming Thursday

(Tue 4th Jul 2023, 7:02, More)

It was Chris Rea, in the bathtub with an egg

(Sun 11th Jun 2023, 21:04, More)

(Thu 1st Jun 2023, 22:21, More)

"and with the ceremonial Whirling of the Plates successfully completed, Charles is now King of England"

(Sat 6th May 2023, 15:14, More)

(Wed 3rd May 2023, 14:13, More)

"..Then can you explain what he meant by 'critical work event?"

(Wed 22nd Mar 2023, 22:22, More)


(Thu 19th Jan 2023, 16:07, More)

Leaked video of Elon Musk turning off the Twitter "microservices bloatware".

(Mon 14th Nov 2022, 21:59, More)

Different universe different shop

(Sat 13th Aug 2022, 18:58, More)

Indiana Jones and the Misappropriation of Cultural Artifacts

(Sun 12th Jun 2022, 16:46, More)

Chuckie Egg 2022

(Tue 17th May 2022, 16:31, More)

40 years

(Sat 23rd Apr 2022, 9:58, More)

RIP David McKee

(Thu 7th Apr 2022, 11:57, More)

Bored Royal Yacht Club

(Tue 5th Apr 2022, 8:05, More)

(Mon 21st Mar 2022, 7:37, More)

(Sat 5th Mar 2022, 11:44, More)

(Mon 7th Feb 2022, 15:18, More)

(Mon 22nd Nov 2021, 15:54, More)

(Thu 28th Oct 2021, 22:18, More)

RIP Sir Clive

(Thu 16th Sep 2021, 19:09, More)

(Sat 4th Sep 2021, 8:44, More)

Wetherspoons Brexit Denial

(Wed 1st Sep 2021, 17:42, More)

Marble Arch Mound, or Brexit Green Hill Zone

(Tue 27th Jul 2021, 10:04, More)

(Tue 20th Jul 2021, 22:34, More)

Inspired by the weekends events, Boris Johnson attempts to become the first PM in space

(Mon 12th Jul 2021, 11:08, More)

(Thu 10th Jun 2021, 21:21, More)

(Fri 7th May 2021, 12:05, More)

Live from Downing St it's World of Sport Wrestling!

(Sat 24th Apr 2021, 17:38, More)

Dyson unveils the new Arcuri model

(Wed 21st Apr 2021, 9:09, More)

Happy Easter

(Sun 4th Apr 2021, 10:27, More)

..and resisting arrest

(Wed 31st Mar 2021, 17:03, More)

(Fri 26th Mar 2021, 11:26, More)

The hills are alive, with the sound of jingoism

(Thu 25th Mar 2021, 15:10, More)

Scenes from the Bristol riot

(Mon 22nd Mar 2021, 11:50, More)

Boris Johnson learning the vaccine he was promised has been replaced by some clapping

(Sat 20th Mar 2021, 15:30, More)

Tracking and Tracing

(Sat 13th Mar 2021, 13:58, More)

(Thu 4th Mar 2021, 8:53, More)

(Mon 22nd Feb 2021, 11:41, More)

Is there anything the Simpsons hasn't predicted?

(Sat 23rd Jan 2021, 15:39, More)


(Tue 12th Jan 2021, 21:13, More)

"The Prittster"

(Fri 20th Nov 2020, 17:06, More)

(Fri 30th Oct 2020, 16:29, More)

(Sun 25th Oct 2020, 15:09, More)

too soon

(Sat 3rd Oct 2020, 21:34, More)

(Wed 23rd Sep 2020, 21:50, More)

Covid turning up at the pub to find Boris shut it at 10

(Tue 22nd Sep 2020, 10:40, More)

Police search of the property expected to take several years.

(Wed 16th Sep 2020, 10:02, More)

(Sun 6th Sep 2020, 11:56, More)

Getting tired of Trump's current blame game

(Wed 2nd Sep 2020, 14:14, More)

Rejected Centaurs

(Fri 7th Aug 2020, 18:04, More)

(Sun 12th Jul 2020, 17:43, More)

I need your clothes, your boots & your motorcycle

(Sun 12th Jul 2020, 16:56, More)

The Trump Ranger

(Thu 2nd Jul 2020, 11:21, More)

easily distracted

(Wed 24th Jun 2020, 21:27, More)


(Sun 24th May 2020, 17:23, More)

Make America Golf Again

(Sun 24th May 2020, 12:41, More)

It's 240 miles to Durham, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of paracetamol, it's daft because I've got Coronavirus. Hit it

(Sat 23rd May 2020, 15:05, More)


(Tue 5th May 2020, 11:47, More)

Chuckie Egg, Tesco social distancing panic buying edition

(Tue 5th May 2020, 11:18, More)


(Mon 4th May 2020, 15:32, More)

(Sun 3rd May 2020, 7:12, More)

(Sun 26th Apr 2020, 11:01, More)

Someone's getting an extra scooby snack later

(Sat 25th Apr 2020, 21:20, More)

So refreshing!

(Fri 24th Apr 2020, 16:42, More)

As the lockdown continues and non essential workers self isolate, Donald Trump is forced to do his own hair and make up.

(Fri 17th Apr 2020, 14:59, More)

The last social distancing

(Wed 25th Mar 2020, 15:50, More)

if only they'd paid attention to the front page

(Sun 22nd Mar 2020, 11:39, More)

Operation Last Gasp

(Tue 17th Mar 2020, 11:34, More)

Because being stuck inside under quarantine is no reason not to enjoy party games.

(Sat 14th Mar 2020, 16:40, More)

spoiler alert

(Thu 12th Mar 2020, 8:41, More)

"I shook hands with a common cold that supposedly injured some bathers. But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time"
Click for bigger (158 kb)
(Fri 6th Mar 2020, 10:08, More)

Important message from the Coronal

(Wed 4th Mar 2020, 10:31, More)

"Congratulations Mr Johnson, it's a distraction"

(Sun 1st Mar 2020, 9:54, More)

(Sat 8th Feb 2020, 7:53, More)

(Wed 5th Feb 2020, 8:58, More)

Live long and go fuck yourself

(Sun 2nd Feb 2020, 16:47, More)

(Tue 28th Jan 2020, 12:03, More)

and then I tuck it back and pretend I'm a girl

Click for bigger and uncensored

(Mon 20th Jan 2020, 22:04, More)

no matter how much he cries, or how much he begs, never, never feed Baby Yoda after midnight.

(Tue 3rd Dec 2019, 21:55, More)

looks like they could do with some radiators

(Sat 12th Oct 2019, 23:37, More)

(Wed 9th Oct 2019, 12:48, More)

(Wed 9th Oct 2019, 12:48, More)

"One ringpiece to ruin us all"

(Fri 27th Sep 2019, 7:54, More)

(Tue 17th Sep 2019, 17:55, More)

They're still at it

(Mon 16th Sep 2019, 13:56, More)

Mark Ruffalo's reply to Boris Johnson in full

(Sun 15th Sep 2019, 22:18, More)

Oh look! Is that a corgi getting out? What, where?!

(Thu 12th Sep 2019, 8:10, More)

Boris Johnson and his Organ Grinder

(Mon 9th Sep 2019, 20:21, More)

"Draw me like one of your disaster capitalists Jack"

(Tue 3rd Sep 2019, 23:14, More)

Henry Fuseli - The nightmare (2019)

(Tue 3rd Sep 2019, 22:35, More)


(Tue 3rd Sep 2019, 17:10, More)

and a pea

(Mon 12th Aug 2019, 10:31, More)

Brexit Kool Aid, 50p a glass

(Mon 12th Aug 2019, 10:02, More)

"Good morning Mr President"

(Tue 16th Jul 2019, 7:55, More)

Clown Funeral

(Sat 13th Jul 2019, 9:07, More)

don't do the crime if you can't do the time

(Thu 11th Jul 2019, 11:44, More)

or maybe cats

(Tue 2nd Jul 2019, 17:48, More)

So much in love

(Mon 24th Jun 2019, 12:23, More)

(Sat 8th Jun 2019, 18:12, More)


(Sat 8th Jun 2019, 7:38, More)

(Thu 6th Jun 2019, 12:55, More)

Every shark has his breaking point

(Thu 6th Jun 2019, 8:41, More)

Scenes from a Presidential visit

(Mon 3rd Jun 2019, 22:36, More)

I'd buy that for a dollar

(Sun 26th May 2019, 10:38, More)

I'm lovin' it

(Sat 18th May 2019, 19:27, More)

Boris Johnson putting his name forward at the Conservative leadership committee

(Fri 17th May 2019, 8:22, More)

(Sat 27th Apr 2019, 14:48, More)

We came, we saw, we kicked its holy ass

(Sat 20th Apr 2019, 18:03, More)

*high pitched wailing*

(Sat 13th Apr 2019, 18:47, More)

yeah, but this time it's blue

(Sat 13th Apr 2019, 17:24, More)

it never dies

(Thu 11th Apr 2019, 7:43, More)

(Sat 6th Apr 2019, 7:09, More)

There was a sewage leak in the House of Commons today

(Thu 4th Apr 2019, 17:46, More)

Help me Jeremy-Wan Corbyni, you're my only hope

(Tue 2nd Apr 2019, 22:48, More)

"Just bloody hit it!" - Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars A New Hope

(Wed 20th Mar 2019, 11:40, More)

no reason

(Sun 10th Mar 2019, 20:28, More)

"I moved on her like a bitch" - Lady and the Trump

(Thu 7th Mar 2019, 18:06, More)

Dr Brexit Banner

(Wed 6th Mar 2019, 18:05, More)

Andrew Preview's dead

(Thu 28th Feb 2019, 18:19, More)

new Bond title announced

(Fri 22nd Feb 2019, 15:49, More)

wrong side of history again Theresa

(Sat 16th Feb 2019, 16:35, More)

I've made a desktop machine that kicks Boris Johnson in the balls 350 million times per week

Looking for investors, any Dragons reading this get it touch
(Tue 15th Jan 2019, 22:57, More)

(Tue 15th Jan 2019, 7:26, More)

See my baby Expelliarmus

(Mon 14th Jan 2019, 9:30, More)

loads of room on that bit of wood

(Sat 12th Jan 2019, 18:05, More)

BRIIII-IIIIGHT EYES!......... #burninglikefire

(Fri 11th Jan 2019, 12:04, More)

(Wed 9th Jan 2019, 22:15, More)

(Sat 5th Jan 2019, 15:02, More)

I ate his liver with a nice bit of lettuce

(Sat 5th Jan 2019, 12:34, More)

(Thu 27th Dec 2018, 13:10, More)

Metamorphosis of Xenomorph

(Thu 29th Nov 2018, 10:19, More)

(Wed 28th Nov 2018, 18:00, More)

doo doo doo doodoo

wash your hands
(Wed 28th Nov 2018, 16:36, More)

Wreck it Ralph 2 Disney Princess Scene - Alternate version

(Mon 26th Nov 2018, 17:59, More)

Van Gogh's Triffids (unfinished due to sudden blindness)

(Fri 23rd Nov 2018, 11:19, More)

Rake America Great Again pt2

(Sun 18th Nov 2018, 19:50, More)

(Sun 11th Nov 2018, 10:27, More)

"Boy with naked American man stealing balloons"

(Mon 5th Nov 2018, 9:56, More)

Girl with Blue Box

(Sun 21st Oct 2018, 20:27, More)

Apparently Nick Clegg's been hired by Facebook

(Fri 19th Oct 2018, 14:17, More)

Job's off lads

(Thu 18th Oct 2018, 14:40, More)

"Girl with increased investment (Portrait of the highest bidder)" and "Southerbanksys"

Banksy Murals Graffiti Bollards Stairwells
(Fri 12th Oct 2018, 12:03, More)

It was Herman man! Herman! the whole time!

(Thu 11th Oct 2018, 21:37, More)

(Sun 7th Oct 2018, 22:33, More)

hahahaha, look at the funny dance, hahahaha, they're going to kill us all, hahaha

(Wed 3rd Oct 2018, 18:44, More)

Uncropped version of that Boris in a "wheat" field photo

(Tue 2nd Oct 2018, 11:26, More)

Tory Conference App has minor security flaws

(Sat 29th Sep 2018, 15:43, More)

t's and c's apply

(Thu 27th Sep 2018, 10:40, More)


(Sat 22nd Sep 2018, 15:58, More)

Ooh, it makes me wonder

(Sat 22nd Sep 2018, 8:23, More)

He was up all night making his costume

(Tue 11th Sep 2018, 16:09, More)

after you

(Mon 3rd Sep 2018, 17:01, More)

Logical Progression of the TIME Trump covers

(Tue 28th Aug 2018, 8:21, More)

Daley! I'm Blind man!

(Fri 24th Aug 2018, 20:42, More)

Yay! It's Brexit Preparedness day, have you got your leaflets yet?

(Thu 23rd Aug 2018, 8:21, More)

b3ta classics #35621

(Mon 20th Aug 2018, 19:58, More)

the new Jamie Oliver range in full

(Mon 20th Aug 2018, 15:29, More)

just for one day

(Sat 18th Aug 2018, 17:35, More)

a few more..

(Sat 18th Aug 2018, 17:35, More)

(nice dream)

(Fri 17th Aug 2018, 16:33, More)

Mansize Pigeons

(Fri 17th Aug 2018, 16:28, More)

Bjork - deb(u)t

(Fri 17th Aug 2018, 15:15, More)

I saw the new Halifax Ghostbusters advert last night and was wondering what other films they might stick their mortgage advisor in..

(Tue 14th Aug 2018, 14:00, More)

Ewan McGregor is Danny Boyle's..

(Mon 13th Aug 2018, 15:37, More)

Make it so yuge

excuse the quality, I'm Photoshopping on my phone
(Thu 9th Aug 2018, 20:09, More)

Remember to take your ration book!

(Wed 25th Jul 2018, 9:30, More)


(Sat 21st Jul 2018, 14:08, More)

Aquaman movie poster

(Mon 16th Jul 2018, 22:50, More)

trying to guess what Duncan Jones' new film is going to be

(Sun 15th Jul 2018, 16:43, More)

Come and play with us Danny......... for ever and ever and ever

(Fri 13th Jul 2018, 23:41, More)

Wonder if he's visiting Wales while he's over here

(Fri 13th Jul 2018, 9:05, More)

(Thu 12th Jul 2018, 16:38, More)

Boris has unveiled his new spin off party made up of Tories and Ukippers

(Tue 10th Jul 2018, 17:56, More)

So where do I sign?
Just there, below the bit about fame and fortune in exchange for eternal misery and suffering for all living souls.

(Tue 10th Jul 2018, 16:36, More)

After a tough day, Theresa May cheers herself up with a good PR school visit

(Mon 9th Jul 2018, 17:00, More)

Whatever you do, don't look at it

(Thu 5th Jul 2018, 16:52, More)

Sleazy Rider

(Tue 26th Jun 2018, 12:00, More)


(Mon 25th Jun 2018, 16:12, More)

Prime Minister's QWOP Time

(Sat 23rd Jun 2018, 17:46, More)

And you May ask yourself, well, How did I get here?

(Fri 22nd Jun 2018, 11:22, More)

The news moves so fast I've had to update TIME 's cover already

(Thu 21st Jun 2018, 15:50, More)

Sir Christopher Chope MP at the palace

(Fri 15th Jun 2018, 16:58, More)

classic move

(Thu 14th Jun 2018, 16:23, More)

For the last time Donald, if you need the potty you should tell someone

(Sat 9th Jun 2018, 17:24, More)

TIME running a piece on how Trump thinks he's a King, more like an Emperor if you ask me

(Thu 7th Jun 2018, 16:34, More)

RIP Stringyfellow

(Thu 7th Jun 2018, 7:22, More)

"Come out to the Whitehouse, we'll pretend we're together, have a few laughs..."

(Mon 4th Jun 2018, 13:51, More)


(Sat 2nd Jun 2018, 8:26, More)

He came in on a wrecking ball

(Mon 28th May 2018, 7:59, More)

(Tue 22nd May 2018, 17:40, More)

(Thu 10th May 2018, 10:42, More)

(Wed 9th May 2018, 13:49, More)


(Wed 9th May 2018, 10:39, More)

38th anniversary digitally remastered edition

(Wed 9th May 2018, 9:09, More)

have another

(Tue 8th May 2018, 15:07, More)


(Mon 7th May 2018, 23:03, More)

go with the one you're most comfortable in

(Mon 7th May 2018, 15:18, More)

internet outrage

(Fri 4th May 2018, 19:48, More)

darn, b3ten to it

(Tue 1st May 2018, 19:10, More)

Bring on the Pall!

credit for the pun CaptainHowdy
(Wed 18th Apr 2018, 22:52, More)

US missile launch at Syria 14/04/18

(Sat 14th Apr 2018, 15:56, More)

(Wed 11th Apr 2018, 11:44, More)

Zuckerbot err:\ [moisturecapacity] Full.

(Wed 11th Apr 2018, 11:42, More)


(Tue 10th Apr 2018, 8:26, More)

Donald had all the sprinklers removed from Trump tower after that time they went off by accident

(Sun 8th Apr 2018, 9:30, More)

(Thu 5th Apr 2018, 14:51, More)

(Tue 3rd Apr 2018, 19:57, More)


(Thu 22nd Mar 2018, 15:26, More)

I keep telling you, this isn't 'a few tweets'! These are retweets, threads and likes...!

(Thu 8th Mar 2018, 10:23, More)

(Mon 26th Feb 2018, 11:49, More)

Get da kids to da Choppa!

(Thu 22nd Feb 2018, 12:58, More)

Trump's cue card for his chat with the high school shooting victims

(Thu 22nd Feb 2018, 11:03, More)

stop worrying

(Tue 20th Feb 2018, 12:05, More)

have a pea

(Thu 8th Feb 2018, 16:21, More)

The Rock's new movie has an impossibly long jump for the poster so I renamed it

(Tue 6th Feb 2018, 15:10, More)

Made a 3d version of the Mash Report's Trump/Morgan drawing

click for spinny

(Sun 4th Feb 2018, 15:08, More)

Amazon rumoured to be getting in to the healthcare business

(Tue 30th Jan 2018, 14:54, More)

Seams fine to me

(Fri 26th Jan 2018, 12:00, More)

R Tape loading error , 0:1

Click for 12mb Game Gif

(Fri 26th Jan 2018, 8:23, More)

Hello, yes this is the President. Yes, I am Presidenting very much as I always do MAGA!

(Sun 21st Jan 2018, 10:32, More)

Due to a lack of support, the Brexit Wall of Gammon has been downgraded to a Fence of Processed Meat Slices

(Mon 15th Jan 2018, 15:45, More)

According to the Metro "Male sex robots with unstoppable bionic penises are coming this year"

(Tue 9th Jan 2018, 12:12, More)

as you wish

(Sat 6th Jan 2018, 15:38, More)

blue passports

(Fri 22nd Dec 2017, 11:58, More)

2nd year running, no one else has ever done that. the best selling issue ever. yuge

(Wed 6th Dec 2017, 15:26, More)

buy now

(Sat 4th Nov 2017, 15:09, More)

RIP Sean

(Mon 16th Oct 2017, 12:41, More)

RIP Hugh

(Thu 28th Sep 2017, 10:00, More)

and welcome to this weeks episode of Call My Bluff. Our first word is Dotard, Frank Muir's team, your first definition please

(Fri 22nd Sep 2017, 7:45, More)

(Tue 19th Sep 2017, 17:35, More)

Good work lawnmower boy

(Fri 15th Sep 2017, 16:35, More)

clowns and horror stories

(Tue 12th Sep 2017, 14:05, More)

You must choose, but choose wisely

(Wed 30th Aug 2017, 21:15, More)

(Sat 26th Aug 2017, 14:20, More)

(Wed 23rd Aug 2017, 12:17, More)

meanwhile "no sir, again, snakes are the bad ones, you slide down the snakes, you don't climb up them"

(Mon 21st Aug 2017, 17:43, More)

good game, good game

(Fri 18th Aug 2017, 17:03, More)

doo be doo be doo, puttin' on ma face, doo be doo....

(Fri 11th Aug 2017, 8:41, More)

Listen to them, the children of the night. You won't believe the music they make

(Thu 10th Aug 2017, 9:20, More)

Trust me, Wilbur. People are very gullible. They'll believe anything they see in print.

(Tue 18th Jul 2017, 17:41, More)

Can you beat the President at his own childish game?

Click for full thing

(Thu 13th Jul 2017, 22:04, More)

Together, we can turn this fucking world to rust!

(Fri 7th Jul 2017, 17:37, More)

something for the weekend sir?

(Fri 7th Jul 2017, 10:00, More)

Donald's been talking about space


(Sat 1st Jul 2017, 17:19, More)

(Wed 28th Jun 2017, 13:28, More)

I love Summer, especially trying out all the new ice cream flavours

(Wed 21st Jun 2017, 17:17, More)


(Mon 19th Jun 2017, 19:14, More)

I think we'll use..... the square furnace

(Mon 19th Jun 2017, 19:03, More)

The Mail on Sunday 18/06/17 Brexit survey results in full

(Sun 18th Jun 2017, 14:07, More)

Brotherly, brotherly, brotherly love!

(Tue 13th Jun 2017, 23:50, More)

holy batdeath!

(Sat 10th Jun 2017, 18:00, More)

(Fri 9th Jun 2017, 7:41, More)

May Live

(Wed 7th Jun 2017, 8:47, More)

Just give it a nudge Gromit

(Mon 5th Jun 2017, 17:40, More)

I Know Words, I Have The Best Words

(Wed 31st May 2017, 8:16, More)

Theresa May's twitchy thumb explained

(Mon 29th May 2017, 20:28, More)

Here's one we made earlier

(Mon 29th May 2017, 11:24, More)

pretty please

(Sat 27th May 2017, 14:23, More)

(Mon 22nd May 2017, 16:23, More)

spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spidercan.

(Sat 18th Mar 2017, 20:38, More)

The T1000 of John Connor by Rene Magritte

(Thu 9th Mar 2017, 11:11, More)

Theres May's fake laugh on PMQs today

Click for bigger

(Wed 8th Mar 2017, 13:49, More)

he's moved on to pop up books

(Thu 9th Feb 2017, 21:54, More)

The people watching over Trump as he signs stuff reminds me parents watching over a toddler

(Tue 31st Jan 2017, 14:37, More)

turns out its not a lift, it's a shower

(Wed 11th Jan 2017, 8:10, More)

Poor "Neil" not TIME magazine's person of the year after all

(Wed 7th Dec 2016, 14:01, More)

Keep hearing this game mentioned but can't find a release date

(Tue 6th Dec 2016, 14:19, More)

Man not well

(Fri 2nd Dec 2016, 7:35, More)

and now here's Gary Barlow with a film about how your donations can end suffering in Windsor

(Fri 18th Nov 2016, 15:26, More)

there's a lot of talk about the alt right at the moment, not sure I even know what the button does

(Wed 16th Nov 2016, 18:25, More)

Wonder how nervous Theresa May is of meeting the new President

(Wed 9th Nov 2016, 9:33, More)

it's getting worse

(Tue 8th Nov 2016, 11:30, More)

(Tue 18th Oct 2016, 15:41, More)

@tradegovuk say the UK will be fine because France needs high quality, innovative British jams & marmalades

(Mon 3rd Oct 2016, 13:47, More)


(Thu 1st Sep 2016, 13:02, More)

bye Kenny

(Sat 13th Aug 2016, 17:18, More)

Hokusai - The Gnarly Wave off Kanagawa

(Fri 29th Jul 2016, 11:45, More)

New addon pack for PokemonGo teaches you how to tell the sex of your Pokemon

(Sat 16th Jul 2016, 15:40, More)

Apparently the coup is all down to a branding mistake

(Fri 15th Jul 2016, 23:30, More)

always nice to get a leaving card

(Wed 13th Jul 2016, 9:55, More)

Its aim, to prevent future crimes

(Wed 6th Jul 2016, 10:57, More)

the state of UK politics

(Sun 26th Jun 2016, 11:13, More)

not quite, but you get the idea

(Fri 10th Jun 2016, 8:25, More)

It looks like you're listening to music

(Wed 8th Jun 2016, 22:21, More)

Hellboy and his dog

(Thu 26th May 2016, 14:40, More)

Hey Hey we're the Gorillaz

(Sun 1st May 2016, 18:06, More)


(Thu 17th Mar 2016, 9:51, More)

Superman was originally going to be set in Scotland

(Thu 25th Feb 2016, 19:53, More)

grunting will suffice

(Fri 12th Feb 2016, 12:37, More)

the glory days

(Thu 21st Jan 2016, 11:46, More)

He's got another regeneration left surely

(Mon 11th Jan 2016, 11:48, More)

I'd be scared

(Thu 7th Jan 2016, 10:10, More)

people are upset about star wars monopoly game pieces, so I made some new ones

(Tue 5th Jan 2016, 12:33, More)

have you seen the rest of the set?

(Mon 4th Jan 2016, 12:22, More)

Edvard Munch's "The Bomb"

(Sun 3rd Jan 2016, 22:30, More)

quite the band they've got down there now

(Tue 29th Dec 2015, 8:43, More)

Special edition Tarantino chocolate thins

(Thu 10th Dec 2015, 14:32, More)

Throw me the idols!

(Thu 19th Nov 2015, 17:59, More)

Come play with us

(Thu 19th Nov 2015, 11:37, More)

and so it is written

(Fri 23rd Oct 2015, 12:05, More)

best of grrr, includes "The Universal (Monster)"

(Mon 12th Oct 2015, 11:17, More)

can't remember if this has bindun or not

(Thu 8th Oct 2015, 22:14, More)

Pin Floyd's Dark side of the Cube

(Thu 8th Oct 2015, 10:27, More)

bindun shirley

(Mon 5th Oct 2015, 12:14, More)

first look at the new Doctor Who spin off show "Class"

(Fri 2nd Oct 2015, 9:37, More)

Edward Snowden @snowden

(Thu 1st Oct 2015, 13:40, More)

Magritte's The hat of man

(Fri 25th Sep 2015, 17:06, More)

His career may well be over, so he'd better look for other ways to make money

(Mon 21st Sep 2015, 12:01, More)

(Mon 24th Aug 2015, 14:38, More)

Miserable commute? not any more!

(Wed 3rd Jun 2015, 11:49, More)

:D and reminds me of this old one

(Tue 2nd Jun 2015, 10:35, More)

Sepp Blatter's staff ensure the voting boxes are working correctly

(Fri 29th May 2015, 11:58, More)

where shall we go to eat?

(Thu 21st May 2015, 18:20, More)

(Thu 14th May 2015, 19:34, More)


(Thu 14th May 2015, 10:07, More)

all hail your new leaders

(Fri 8th May 2015, 8:45, More)

Didn't help at all

(Thu 7th May 2015, 9:48, More)

new logo ahead of the relaunch

(Mon 4th May 2015, 22:18, More)

you know all that missing Tesco money... I think I found it

(Wed 22nd Apr 2015, 11:25, More)

because he's worth it

(Thu 16th Apr 2015, 20:01, More)

(Thu 16th Apr 2015, 19:47, More)

stuff it, then kill it. Classic Tory technique #lolitics

(Mon 6th Apr 2015, 9:21, More)

probabbbably bindun

(Sun 5th Apr 2015, 20:45, More)

HIV communists stealing our benefits, immigration immigration IMMIGRATION!

(Fri 3rd Apr 2015, 17:19, More)

Ed said he's a fan, it's obvious what Dave would play

(Thu 2nd Apr 2015, 8:01, More)

(Sun 29th Mar 2015, 18:13, More)

(Wed 25th Mar 2015, 16:25, More)

first look at the new XFiles!

(Tue 24th Mar 2015, 20:03, More)

BBC unveil the new line up

(Wed 11th Mar 2015, 9:38, More)

lets face it, some people might not notice that thing on our wrist

(Tue 10th Mar 2015, 16:54, More)

spot on :D

(Fri 6th Mar 2015, 7:21, More)

(Thu 12th Feb 2015, 9:07, More)

final collectors edition aims to sell an extra few million copies

(Tue 20th Jan 2015, 7:34, More)

(Fri 9th Jan 2015, 16:21, More)

a solution to modern worries

(Tue 6th Jan 2015, 21:56, More)

and :(

(Fri 2nd Jan 2015, 20:28, More)

(Thu 18th Dec 2014, 12:03, More)

Can't believe Black Friday mentality has hit the UK, what happened to politely queueing?

(Fri 28th Nov 2014, 9:46, More)

only a few more hours until the teaser trailer #zomgdestroyinternetrekwars!

(Thu 27th Nov 2014, 20:09, More)

(Thu 13th Nov 2014, 15:33, More)


This week we want to see everyday products and general shop tat transformed in to religious giftware.
Fill the shelves of the local church shop with exciting new stock.
Suggested by Monkeon
(Thu 23rd Oct 2014, 8:46, More)

master of camoflage

(Tue 21st Oct 2014, 17:26, More)

(Tue 19th Aug 2014, 11:03, More)


(Fri 1st Aug 2014, 9:07, More)

(Sun 27th Jul 2014, 12:41, More)

half-arsed painful headswaps present

(Sun 1st Jun 2014, 16:43, More)

LEAVE GARY ALONE!!! you made him cry you bastards!

(Mon 12th May 2014, 10:08, More)

(Sun 4th May 2014, 16:16, More)

Jebas always volunteers to wash up after Easter lunch

(Sun 20th Apr 2014, 16:30, More)

this is a picture of me on the telephone talking like a grown up

(Wed 5th Mar 2014, 22:39, More)

"not a bad handbook for life"

(Tue 21st Jan 2014, 22:47, More)

must have bindun

(Wed 30th Oct 2013, 15:50, More)

pick your costumes wisely

(Fri 18th Oct 2013, 10:25, More)

if we're celebrating early...

(Sun 25th Aug 2013, 8:21, More)

(Mon 19th Aug 2013, 20:55, More)

Anyone here work at Wall's? I've got a new product for you

(Mon 19th Aug 2013, 18:09, More)

British holiday makers have been advised to stay inside

(Fri 16th Aug 2013, 10:34, More)

silly woman, a lot of fuss about nothing

(Fri 2nd Aug 2013, 22:55, More)

(Mon 29th Jul 2013, 14:51, More)

(Mon 22nd Jul 2013, 17:46, More)


(Thu 13th Jun 2013, 18:05, More)

(Wed 12th Jun 2013, 11:26, More)

(Tue 11th Jun 2013, 12:34, More)

same old problem apparently

(Thu 23rd May 2013, 10:45, More)

and a Mandelbrot

(Thu 25th Apr 2013, 9:50, More)

(Fri 12th Apr 2013, 13:49, More)

she won't give it a rest

(Mon 8th Apr 2013, 15:08, More)

I didn't think Andrex went far enough
with their new Scrunch or Fold campaign so I came up with some more options:

(Sun 10th Feb 2013, 17:08, More)


(Thu 7th Feb 2013, 10:15, More)

(Mon 4th Feb 2013, 13:13, More)

the majestic Saustrage

(Fri 25th Jan 2013, 15:49, More)

sad times, but hey, it's progress, probably*

*isn't progress, it's shit
(Mon 14th Jan 2013, 22:16, More)

de-ris non puppet fans and bye bye Mr Anderson, cheers for all the adventure
(Wed 26th Dec 2012, 16:59, More)

we also cater for the lady dog owner

(Thu 22nd Nov 2012, 10:48, More)

The report read "Routine retirement of a replicant."

(Fri 12th Oct 2012, 9:05, More)

(Thu 11th Oct 2012, 8:46, More)

looks like a forgone conclusion, might as well start now

(Wed 3rd Oct 2012, 21:41, More)

(Thu 6th Sep 2012, 12:50, More)

who doesn't love those wobbly balloon arm things?

(Thu 30th Aug 2012, 7:46, More)

I don't know but it should be a new Doctor Who badguy

(Thu 23rd Aug 2012, 20:18, More)

Fuck! Curiosity has only been on Mars an hour and they've found evidence of life already!

(Mon 6th Aug 2012, 7:36, More)

Following McDonalds ban on the selling of "chips" during the Olympics, I've made these for all UK fast food sellers.
Simply cut out the word "Fries" or "Fish 'n' Fries", and stick it over your menu where you have the word "chips"
Problem solved.

(Wed 11th Jul 2012, 21:40, More)

Jedi mind tricks are better than rohypnol on the weak minded

(Sun 8th Jul 2012, 22:04, More)


(Thu 28th Jun 2012, 15:31, More)

(Tue 12th Jun 2012, 14:52, More)

(Mon 28th May 2012, 15:28, More)


so is the gay shift officially on holiday/awol?
(Mon 28th May 2012, 8:18, More)

Cameron's 'special relationship' with Germany caught on film

(Sun 20th May 2012, 21:15, More)

(Thu 19th Apr 2012, 11:04, More)

pipped slightly, but anyway...

(Thu 5th Apr 2012, 14:35, More)

(Fri 30th Mar 2012, 8:27, More)

Too soon man, too soon
Scrambled Edd has left us

Click for the lovely Links page tribute
Hopefully he and Valin are up there making beautiful animations together
(Wed 28th Mar 2012, 9:14, More)

Number 10 does away with the old keys and locks for a simpler entry system

(Sun 25th Mar 2012, 12:51, More)

(Thu 22nd Mar 2012, 10:07, More)

(Tue 13th Mar 2012, 8:53, More)

which reminds me
(Sun 4th Mar 2012, 15:15, More)


(Sun 4th Mar 2012, 15:04, More)

here they come......

Bye Bye Davey :(
(Wed 29th Feb 2012, 19:43, More)

Save a fortune in time and money by replacing the House of Commons with a web forum

Click for the other half of it
I'm genuinely baffled as to why in this day and age the House of Commons exists. I appreciate in the olden days before communications networks it was important to have everyone in the same place to get discussions heard and information shared. But when you could clearly handle the entire Prime Ministers Questions via a web forum or skype chat why the hell are they wasting important council/department/country running time by travelling all the way to London and then sitting on their arses occasionally going "hear hear"?
A very, very rough internet based calculation puts the house of commons daily running costs for mps offices and the main hall (not tours or cafes or whatever) at £1.2m. Add to that travel expenses and the wasted days pay and it officially adds up to fuckingcrazyloads of our taxes.
Give them an ipad and a decent secure forum that is no more complex than B3ta and they can do the whole fucking job during their lunch break in their constituency.
I apologise for the confused and semi ranty nature of this typing, I've just spent far, far too long listening to and transcribing twattish mps talking at each other in raised childish voices without them ever answering a single question. Which has obviously left me more irritated at the fucking stupid state of our system than I was expecting from a semi-throwaway b3ta joke.
If you want to see the 15 minutes of arsemonkery in question for yourself, it is here www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_fGvVOCT00 It can in reality be condensed to 3 forum posts -
Ed "Why weren't representatives in that meeting?
Dave "I'm not answering that"
Everyone else "rhubarb, rhubarb, shout, my team is better than your team"

I'm going for a bit of a lay down now.

(Tue 28th Feb 2012, 15:10, More)

A guide to Conservative party members

(Wed 22nd Feb 2012, 9:56, More)

awww, he's all out of puff

(Tue 14th Feb 2012, 18:37, More)

(Wed 1st Feb 2012, 20:28, More)

(Fri 13th Jan 2012, 10:08, More)

apologies for length, Spielberg can't edit for toffee

(Mon 2nd Jan 2012, 17:14, More)

The face of Turkish pastry terrorism

(Sun 11th Dec 2011, 21:05, More)

He takes games at Christmas way too fucking seriously

(Sun 27th Nov 2011, 20:15, More)

manufacturers notice - always warm your spoon

(Sat 26th Nov 2011, 18:10, More)

Men, check under the bed and in your closets

(Thu 3rd Nov 2011, 16:59, More)

(Wed 26th Oct 2011, 11:13, More)

ignore me, just letting off steam

(Wed 12th Oct 2011, 12:43, More)

not sure which challenge to enter this in

(Thu 6th Oct 2011, 14:12, More)

Dead or alive, you're coming with me to see Master Luke

(Mon 19th Sep 2011, 10:57, More)

Hahaha, look at the crazy MP lady, wait, what?!

(Wed 7th Sep 2011, 20:45, More)

it's one of those scarface days isn't it

(Mon 5th Sep 2011, 13:38, More)

The happy couple with child outside the Bank of Jordan

(Mon 5th Sep 2011, 10:02, More)

just for taters, I found a spoon trying to suck itself off

(Fri 2nd Sep 2011, 13:58, More)

(Mon 22nd Aug 2011, 21:02, More)

hey, if the system works....

(Fri 12th Aug 2011, 15:01, More)

just like Metal Mickey, he's a lot of fun

(Thu 11th Aug 2011, 15:02, More)

always look to who will profit the most...

(Wed 10th Aug 2011, 11:40, More)

mind if I pea in your thread, Joliet reminded me I did this and that it was very apt right now

(Tue 9th Aug 2011, 16:34, More)

LOL he can't escape his burning car, silly Mr Bean

(Fri 5th Aug 2011, 8:42, More)

quick, messy rehash of an old one

I'm well aware that there are people pulling Rupert's strings too
(Fri 8th Jul 2011, 19:43, More)

(Wed 29th Jun 2011, 15:57, More)

In response to the wonderful BBC headline of "stabbing burglars will be legal"

Click for big, and News
(Wed 29th Jun 2011, 12:33, More)

original rejected version

(Wed 22nd Jun 2011, 18:29, More)

(Tue 21st Jun 2011, 10:01, More)

(Thu 2nd Jun 2011, 15:12, More)

(Tue 24th May 2011, 11:19, More)

haha, wut?

(Tue 17th May 2011, 12:51, More)


(Mon 16th May 2011, 22:30, More)

hahhahaha! KAPOW!

Click for bigger and better colours (730k)

(Wed 27th Apr 2011, 21:49, More)

the horrible, horrible truth

(Mon 25th Apr 2011, 21:27, More)

did I do good David?

(Wed 23rd Mar 2011, 14:04, More)

only the bravest of the brave...

(Wed 16th Mar 2011, 21:28, More)

(Tue 15th Mar 2011, 17:59, More)

first time I've sat down and made a picture in 3d in ages

(Tue 22nd Feb 2011, 15:44, More)

sorry for another so soon but

(Wed 9th Feb 2011, 21:08, More)

more peas for the hell of it

(Wed 2nd Feb 2011, 23:18, More)

due to a double booking by the Women's Institute...

(Thu 27th Jan 2011, 11:43, More)

bollocks, him again

(Wed 26th Jan 2011, 22:39, More)


(Mon 10th Jan 2011, 8:09, More)

definitely the last - have a good day you all

Here's the rest of the Xmas morning set
(Sat 25th Dec 2010, 9:53, More)

(Wed 8th Dec 2010, 23:36, More)

Alright Julian, you're just being a cock now

(Mon 6th Dec 2010, 22:44, More)

I expect a lot of classic lines today, make him proud boys and girls :)
(Mon 29th Nov 2010, 7:37, More)

I do hope his gravestone looks like this

Click for bigger
(Sun 17th Oct 2010, 11:01, More)


(Thu 15th Jul 2010, 17:18, More)

going over live to our technology reporter....

(Thu 15th Jul 2010, 10:44, More)

rarh rargh fume spit rant. angry gibson is small man

(Tue 13th Jul 2010, 17:04, More)

Our skilled staff are always on hand to help you

(Sun 27th Jun 2010, 10:10, More)


(Wed 23rd Jun 2010, 17:45, More)

The team made some handy crib notes for Wayne to take with him

(Mon 21st Jun 2010, 14:47, More)

(Wed 19th May 2010, 19:23, More)

say hello to my little friend

(Wed 12th May 2010, 13:02, More)

(Fri 23rd Apr 2010, 12:40, More)

David Cameron preening himself on Sky news

Click for YouTube

(Tue 9th Mar 2010, 20:52, More)


(Thu 4th Mar 2010, 21:53, More)


(Fri 26th Feb 2010, 11:13, More)

(Wed 24th Feb 2010, 12:59, More)

he's like a grumpy toddler with computers

and why does he have a tiny aeroplane on his big head?
(Tue 9th Feb 2010, 23:07, More)

oh how I love advertising slogans

(Thu 4th Feb 2010, 14:04, More)


(Mon 1st Feb 2010, 15:20, More)

and now I'm late for work

(Thu 28th Jan 2010, 8:54, More)

(Wed 27th Jan 2010, 20:13, More)


(Fri 22nd Jan 2010, 9:39, More)

I've seen bigger

(Wed 13th Jan 2010, 11:58, More)

tried and tested

(Wed 6th Jan 2010, 13:31, More)

and so it began

(Tue 15th Dec 2009, 20:59, More)

They misjudged their target audience with the new release

(Mon 30th Nov 2009, 19:46, More)


(Fri 13th Nov 2009, 8:23, More)

(Tue 3rd Nov 2009, 20:01, More)

bless, he's really enjoying that

(Thu 13th Aug 2009, 20:50, More)


Click for bigger (250 kb)

(Wed 12th Aug 2009, 18:28, More)

Tortoises fucking love sausages on sticks

Last nights animal www.b3ta.com/board/9613916
(Fri 31st Jul 2009, 10:29, More)

foxes fucking love spacehoppers

and if you like this you should see the tortoise www.b3ta.com/board/9614497
(Thu 30th Jul 2009, 22:53, More)

I appear to be obsessed

(Wed 29th Jul 2009, 17:59, More)

A Barryheadwound/Happytoast joint

(Fri 26th Jun 2009, 9:39, More)

Start the day with a big one

(Fri 19th Jun 2009, 9:30, More)


(Fri 22nd May 2009, 17:24, More)


(Thu 30th Apr 2009, 11:40, More)

time for tea, bu-bye now

(Wed 29th Apr 2009, 18:57, More)


(Wed 29th Apr 2009, 11:55, More)

Bloody cowboys!

(Thu 9th Apr 2009, 12:14, More)

Where Panda Pops come from,

why else would they be called that?
(Wed 18th Mar 2009, 21:32, More)

More Ning!

(Thu 5th Mar 2009, 8:54, More)


(Tue 3rd Mar 2009, 12:36, More)

As mankind covered the globe in concrete, flora had to adapt,
clinging on to the rooftops and window ledges of the man
made mountains and flourishing at new altitudes.
Risking starvation from its dwindling food supply, the giraffe
has adapted to survive in its new habitat.

(Wed 25th Feb 2009, 20:50, More)

(Thu 29th Jan 2009, 22:54, More)

(Sun 25th Jan 2009, 22:16, More)

My boob animation skills seem to be improving
George Bush presents Tony Blair with the "Presidential Medal of Freedom"
and a cracking pair of 38DD implants to play with whenever he visits.

(Tue 13th Jan 2009, 22:09, More)


(Tue 13th Jan 2009, 16:04, More)


(Thu 1st Jan 2009, 15:56, More)

(Thu 11th Dec 2008, 7:57, More)

(Sun 23rd Nov 2008, 17:35, More)

Well it made his job easier at least :D

(Wed 19th Nov 2008, 9:59, More)

Some days, Rorschach's mask just refused to look scary

(Mon 3rd Nov 2008, 20:47, More)

bonus utterly awesome theme tune
(Fri 24th Oct 2008, 16:53, More)

There's nothing to be afraid of. They were right. It's painless. It's good. Come. Sleep. Matthew.

(Thu 23rd Oct 2008, 16:03, More)


(Sat 18th Oct 2008, 16:32, More)

it's a bit drafty today?

(Tue 30th Sep 2008, 11:39, More)

he always likes it a little bit darker

'ning all
(Fri 26th Sep 2008, 9:58, More)

Yay, the christmas sweets are in teh shops already

(Sun 7th Sep 2008, 22:18, More)

oooh, ah, oooh, ah, oooh, ah, oooh, ah etc

(Fri 5th Sep 2008, 14:56, More)

on candystripe legs....

(Wed 3rd Sep 2008, 18:12, More)

(Wed 27th Aug 2008, 22:34, More)


(Fri 15th Aug 2008, 22:35, More)

True story

(Wed 30th Jul 2008, 23:03, More)


(Thu 26th Jun 2008, 15:50, More)

we all thought it surely?

original on page 10
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 12:17, More)

(Thu 19th Jun 2008, 16:26, More)

tough crowd

(Tue 17th Jun 2008, 21:14, More)

telling it like the good book says

(Tue 10th Jun 2008, 12:16, More)


(Tue 10th Jun 2008, 8:59, More)

Squirrel Wars - Episode 6 - Return of the Jedi
"Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the darkside"

"Father!.... Please!..... "
(Tue 20th May 2008, 19:47, More)

Altogether now... They tried to make us go to rehab, we said no no noooo

Hide the baby mice! It's hungry!!!
(Fri 16th May 2008, 15:11, More)

(Wed 14th May 2008, 15:34, More)

And now, live from Wimbledon, the interactive Pong championships 2008

This will happen. mark my words.
(Wed 14th May 2008, 8:19, More)

OMG! It's a miracle! it's a..... eeeuuwww!! Jesus you sod!

(Wed 7th May 2008, 20:35, More)

Awww, let him down you sods

(Tue 6th May 2008, 20:12, More)

Jesus you sod!

(Wed 30th Apr 2008, 20:28, More)

wait for it

(Thu 3rd Apr 2008, 21:58, More)

a nice B3ta joint effort :)

GSTQ's shop, planearm's suggestion and my cutting up and animating
(Sun 30th Mar 2008, 21:28, More)

*death grips*

(Wed 26th Mar 2008, 13:36, More)


(Sat 22nd Mar 2008, 9:22, More)

graphs?...... Graphs?!...... GRAPHS?!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Wed 12th Mar 2008, 20:26, More)

The three rules of life, Never return to a lit firework, don't upset a gypsy

and never try and steal the Queen's Pot Noodle

Apologies for compression, it was 850k at 256 colours, to make up for it, here's a YouTube version with sound
(Mon 10th Mar 2008, 22:19, More)

it's always a mistake when comic strips try and be topical

(Wed 5th Mar 2008, 21:25, More)


(Sat 1st Mar 2008, 20:30, More)

Sarge! Windsor's tangled again

(Fri 29th Feb 2008, 11:55, More)

Honey, the cat's at the bins again!

(Sun 17th Feb 2008, 11:03, More)


(Thu 7th Feb 2008, 9:04, More)

ahhhhhh, the little fella loves playtime

(Wed 30th Jan 2008, 20:53, More)

On the third strike, the time will be....

(Tue 29th Jan 2008, 9:03, More)

make some noise

(Sun 6th Jan 2008, 22:51, More)

Hasta la vista... Frosty

(Mon 31st Dec 2007, 22:18, More)

ZOMG! The Queens speech leaked online early by YouTube!

She didn't have any trouble getting a Wii then, typical!
YouTube-tastic version with sound
(Mon 24th Dec 2007, 19:05, More)

Feel the burn

(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 21:13, More)


(Tue 18th Dec 2007, 22:03, More)


(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 14:28, More)

quick and messy

(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 9:20, More)

ho ho ho

(Mon 10th Dec 2007, 21:06, More)


(Sun 2nd Dec 2007, 23:16, More)

deep breath!....

(Thu 29th Nov 2007, 23:49, More)

I can't shake him! I CAN'T SHAKE HIM!

(Wed 28th Nov 2007, 11:51, More)

Emergency! Teabot! Cup is empty! REFILL!!!

Mmmmmmmm, a lovely, fresh hot cup of errrrr, robot piss.
Click here for a slightly less compressed YouTube version
(Thu 22nd Nov 2007, 11:10, More)

One for DTH

(Sun 4th Nov 2007, 22:51, More)

might as well...

(Wed 26th Sep 2007, 20:35, More)

gotta catch 'em all

(Wed 26th Sep 2007, 14:47, More)

Its how she gets about - FACT!*

*may not be fact after all, apparently she walks or gets a lift off mates

(Sat 22nd Sep 2007, 21:49, More)


(Thu 20th Sep 2007, 16:11, More)

Those jumpsuits don't iron themselves

(Wed 12th Sep 2007, 21:48, More)

never take your eyes off them!

YouTube high res version, Now with sound!
(Fri 7th Sep 2007, 20:58, More)

teh ladees love...

(Sun 2nd Sep 2007, 22:24, More)


(Thu 30th Aug 2007, 18:10, More)

going anywhere nice for your holidays?

(Tue 28th Aug 2007, 15:22, More)

ello, ello, ello, what's all this then?

(Fri 24th Aug 2007, 9:27, More)

(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 10:27, More)

hello and goodbye again

(Fri 3rd Aug 2007, 16:26, More)

OK Guys, on my mark, 3, 2.... HEY! GUYS! WAIT!

Drunken astronaut news
(Fri 27th Jul 2007, 19:42, More)

goes for the hat-trick ;)

Bigger YouTube version here
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 10:24, More)

roll up, roll up!

(Wed 25th Jul 2007, 21:52, More)

transformers are rubbish

(Wed 25th Jul 2007, 15:12, More)

quick and rough but....

original here
(Mon 16th Jul 2007, 17:40, More)

Shhhhh! look! there's another one!

(Sun 15th Jul 2007, 10:24, More)


(Wed 11th Jul 2007, 22:43, More)

Well that's my morning gone

(Fri 29th Jun 2007, 12:20, More)

I don't know how it works, but it does

(Sun 17th Jun 2007, 22:59, More)

Spin, spin, spin the wheel of juuuuuuuuustice....

'night B3ta
(Fri 8th Jun 2007, 23:44, More)


(Wed 25th Apr 2007, 23:38, More)

never burn your bridges

(Sun 22nd Apr 2007, 20:26, More)


(Fri 20th Apr 2007, 15:29, More)

Despite the higher fines and 3 point penalty
people were still using their phones while driving.
So "tougher" measures were introduced

click for 375k clearer version
(Wed 28th Feb 2007, 11:04, More)

I feel like a little motion......

(Tue 20th Feb 2007, 17:19, More)

softer than shadow and quicker than flies

(Thu 15th Feb 2007, 23:04, More)

Finally, the shocking truth behind all those stupid MySpace photos can be told

(Wed 14th Feb 2007, 13:15, More)

Preview footage of Prince's Superbowl performance

It's like Spitting Image never went away :D
(Sun 4th Feb 2007, 10:22, More)

Convert it in to a dinosaur trampampoline!

(Wed 31st Jan 2007, 21:46, More)

Inspired by the runningaway site in this weeks newsletter....
I thought I'd try it, but with video

(Fri 26th Jan 2007, 16:53, More)


(Wed 24th Jan 2007, 17:01, More)

Warning, this program contains scenes that
some viewers may find arousing

(Sun 14th Jan 2007, 22:41, More)

It cost the nazi party an absolute fortune

But the look on little Adolf's face made the new
disco patio worth every penny deutschmark

Hope everyone has a good drink and a dance
tonight, if I don't fall online around midnight...
Happy New Year!
(Sun 31st Dec 2006, 16:24, More)

And the weather report would be cancelled

(Wed 27th Dec 2006, 18:42, More)

Why do people never buy the one you mean?

(Wed 27th Dec 2006, 11:22, More)

Uppercut! Uppercut! Mightyblow!

(Sun 26th Nov 2006, 18:18, More)

Revealed:The shocking truth about lighthouses

Protect the rocks! at all costs!
(Fri 3rd Nov 2006, 12:11, More)

Oh, very good effort, nice points coverage.

(Thu 2nd Nov 2006, 17:14, More)


(Wed 1st Nov 2006, 17:48, More)

now with 100% more animation

(Fri 20th Oct 2006, 12:41, More)

I still don't understand

Why DO people smash up phoneboxes anyway?
(Tue 29th Aug 2006, 17:50, More)

I thought it fitting

(Wed 9th Aug 2006, 21:31, More)


(Fri 28th Jul 2006, 11:52, More)


(Thu 20th Jul 2006, 18:44, More)


(Mon 5th Jun 2006, 22:26, More)

just reading up the Scientology rules

its a good reason to deny it when you're such a public spokesman for the cult religion
(Thu 1st Jun 2006, 18:25, More)

splish splash

(Wed 3rd May 2006, 11:06, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Spoooky Coincidence

a massive chain of events and a bit of an emotional ending
Mrs Toast is an illustrator who does work for various publishing companies around the world, one of which is based in France.
Many years ago she had some trouble getting hold of a copy of one of the magazine issues featuring her work. The publisher sent two out but they never arrived.
Skip forward several weeks and my cousin (who travels to France regularly) said she'd pick a copy up if it was still in the shops.
She managed to grab a couple of copies from Le WHSmith and brought them back with her.
However there was another delay here and there and it took another week or so before she managed to drop the magazine off at my parents house.
I had left home several years before but was working 5 miles away so decided to nip over during my lunchbreak to collect the magazine.
No one was in, so I grabbed the magazines and was about to leave, when for some reason I decided to go upstairs where I was met by my old cat. He was about 17 years old now and had been my pet since he was a kitten.
On seeing me he leapt up from the bed, meow'd alot and started purring, rubbing around my legs and being generally cat like.
After about 10 minutes of this I had to get back off to work so said goodbye and set off.

2 hours later my mum phoned to say that she had got home to find Tom had died in his sleep on their bed. That he had been very quiet and shakey for the last few days and his arthritis was really getting the better of him, so it was probably a blessing.

If Mrs Toast hadn't done the illustrations for that company in France who failed to send stuff out and my cousin hadn't been going to France and able to find the magazine and then have various delays so that the magazine didn't get to me until the day it did.... I would not have seen my cat one last time.

When I explained to my mum how bright and alive he had been on seeing me she fell apart crying, and I almost do typing this.
It's my one bit of possible, personal evidence that fate exists, and it does scare me a bit.
(Fri 9th Feb 2007, 8:00, More)

» What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?


(Wed 18th Jan 2012, 16:10, More)

» Other people's diaries


(Thu 1st Feb 2007, 20:23, More)

» Screwed over by The Man

what do you mean it was really popular?
Back in 1991 I was asked if I wanted to help out on some artwork and animation for a DOS based space adventure game. Happy to help I spent a few weeks of my spare time coming up with monster designs and simple animations in lovely old DPaint and the even lovelier DAnimate.
I handed the artwork over and pretty much forgot about it (college and running a video shop took my mind off it I guess). Fast forward maybe 15 years and I happen to discover that not only did the game get made, it was fairly successful and quite highly regarded, to the point that it had a decent budget sequel made a couple of years ago.

Not only did the man not pay me, he didn't even put my name down on the credits for the artwork :(
(Tue 7th Aug 2012, 13:27, More)

» Near Death Experiences II

Almost drowned by a Raleigh Grifter
Aged about 12 in the mid 80s I was coming home for tea riding my red Grifter (the tractor of the UK BMX world) and hoping it was Findus Crispy Pancakes and chips on the table. As I dexterously cycled up the narrow garden path to the shed (no doubt humming the theme to Kickstart in my head) I went to put my foot down on the low, half finished wall to the fish pond my Dad had just finished digging and filling.... and then everything went hazy.

Next thing I know I'm dripping wet stood beside the pond with my Mum shouting from a window as I tried to lift the bike out of the water.
It took two of us as it was upside down with the Grifter's massive handlebars firmly wedged across the bottom of the pond.
To this day I can't work out how I got out from underneath it.
(Thu 15th May 2014, 16:50, More)
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