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If you had to pick the best desert ever?
I would go with sticky toffee pudding and custard.
Prove me wrong!
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)

The Sahara...
... oh you meant dessert
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:34, archived)

Sorry, what a wanker I am.
What the fuck is my problem? other than social ineptitude and B.O
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)

haha
sorry, I forgot to say I was really crap at spelling
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)

It's ok.
I like to be a pedantic bastard but I know my spelling's not always spot on.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

It's a toss up between the Sahara and the Gobi

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:34, archived)

I'm going to pick the hillarious answer.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)

go for bears
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

go for pears
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

go for tears
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

go for the ears
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:40, archived)

you could have had fears, lears, mears, rears, wears, but no, you had to fuck up the system.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)

my hero

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:42, archived)

now that's just completely wrong.
Doesn't even rhyme.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:44, archived)

is that such a crime?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

No but I'm a blimp so I am upset online.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)

tears for fears
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:42, archived)

<s>the hellarious answer</s> - on the little guy.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

l
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:12, archived)

P A I N

M O T H E R F U C K E R

P A I N

So bread pudding then.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)

Rice

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)

I LIKE FOOD

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

I ALSO LIKE FOOD
LET'S LIVE TOGETHER
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

BRING FOOD

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:44, archived)

HI I BROUGHT FOOD
BUT I ATE IT ON THE WAY
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

get out

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)

Banoffee and Peanutbutter cheesecake, the whole thing.
/ac

Beat that, mother fuckers, that's like getting a Farrari on Top Trumps right there.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

banoffee pie.
HAWT DATE.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

Smokin' HAWT D8 !
Rose, do my shift for me, I really can't be fucked.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)

Stop whining.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

I'm allowed ! I'm propper-ill !
Not just this stomach aids stuff eaither !
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)

FUCKING SHOWING FUCKING OFF
GOT A FUCKING JOB THAT PAYS A FUCKING WAGE.

fucking.
(

jenpots, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)

gonz the prostitute eh?
scary thoughts
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:54, archived)

(

jenpots, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

if you were a prostitute I'd hire you

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

One of my mate's dads saw outside the Carphonewherehouse today, buying the new iphone...
... so he brought one too on my recomendation, and then paid me £50 to spend an hour and a half with him to show him how it all works.

Win !

(I should note here, that he wouldn't accept 'no' for the cash).

It's a SADDEST state of fairs when that's more money than I'm going to earn on my entire shift tonight =(((
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)

but on brightside you now rate at about £17 per haalf hour

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

i WOULD!
but im pissed :(
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

rhubarb crumble
and yummy custard
(

weaver., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)

Wrong.
Soooo wrong.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

soooo nice
use more sugar!
(

weaver., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

Bacon

(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:42, archived)

it's not a sweet though

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

it is if it is maple smoked.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)

Good call
That's such a good suggestion.
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

smoked bacon is wrong in my eyes,
wrong in my mouth too.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

Idiot.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

I don't think idiot's the right reply to that.
I just don't like smoked bacon at all. However, I do love un smoked. It's king of all foodstuff.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

ALL BACON IS KING OF THE FOODSTUFFS.
Even the discounted stuff that's mostly fat.

Mmm, fat.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

I'm fat :(

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

I'm really not.
It's great. I eat loads of really unhealthy stuff, never exercise, and yet my weight is spot on, and my blood pressure is perfect.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:13, archived)

I'm not fat really.
I just need to tone up a bit, for the summer and what not.

Going to row for an hour at half past.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:14, archived)

My girlfriend complains when I try to tone up, apparently she likes the beer belly look.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:16, archived)

It's absolutely right in sauces though.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Have you got my shit cd yet?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

It arrived today, cheers.
I'll have a listen to it later.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

Good stuff.
It's shit, mind.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

Glad to see I'm getting back the same quality I sent out.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:17, archived)

Says
YOU
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)

after eights

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

not for ten more minutes hohohohoho

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

what happens if i eat four?
:(((
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)

hello mrs creosote

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

*applauds*

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)

Cheesecake.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

what type of cheesecake though?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

Stilton.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

I always like just

(

magnum, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

just desserts
very good
(

magnum, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:14, archived)

I had a discussion with my father in law the other week about the fact that millefeuille and eclairs have increased in size and decreased in quality.
That's the kind of high brow political conversation we have in my neck of the woods.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:54, archived)

it that during or after the spitroasting of yor mother in law?

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)

ice cream is quite good
possibly mint choc chip flavour or chocolate.
(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)

anything chocolate with ice cream is WRONG.
just so you know.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

I love mint choc chip ice cream.
Nom nom.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:15, archived)

me + something
is usually win

(PS. I want someone to make a vid/montage thing about the mps expenses issue using Dire Strait's "Private Investigation" as a backing track. I'd do it, but I wouldn't know where to start)
(

custard, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

Lemon meringue pie.
Perfect dessert.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

lemon + tea = win

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

Tastes like a lemon wet wipe dipped in water.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:13, archived)

It's obviously going to be different for everyone.
I just made one of these for my sister.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:13, archived)

so gay

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:18, archived)

Fuck off:(

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:21, archived)

Desert = Antarctica.
Dessert = Spicy Rum With Sunny Delight Ice cream.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)

SpankyHanky is a lying cunt
That is all.

INCREDIBLY SEXY EDIT

That may not be all, please feel free to conversate in the boxes below. I may even join you.
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)

oh

(

well, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)

thanks

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)

I knew it.

(

Jobe, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:19, archived)

JOIN US.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)

HELLO
I HAVE JOINED
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)

Yeah
what?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:31, archived)

hello sexy

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:31, archived)

Wotcha love
toilet lass was just here, I'm inebriated.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)

me too.
no bathroom hot slippage was involved.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:42, archived)

who when where what ?
delete as applicable.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)

I keep accidentally reading QOTW
I then get angry at the sheer level of self-delusion and lying and vow to never read it again. Until next week, whence the whole torrid cycle starts all over again.
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)

I only go there when I'm very very very very bored
then I get angry and leave.
(

jenpots, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)

daily reader then?

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)

about once
a fortnight. There has to be NOTHING else to do, before I go there.
(

jenpots, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:29, archived)

HI REMEMBER THAT TIME I WAS A MASSIVE LEGEND
HI I'M A MASSIVE LEGEND. I DID A THING ONCE HAVING DRUNK A PINT (OR TWELVE !!!!11) OF GUINNESS BECAUSE I'M A TEDIOUS BEARDED TWAT. I THEN SPAFFED MY HATEFUL SEED INTO THE YAWNING SNATCH OF AN UGLY TIRESOME TROLLOP.

HERE'S A SHIT PUN

CHEERS
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

lets be friends!

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:28, archived)

Only if you like puns
And lying.

These are my prerequisites.
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:29, archived)

i fucking hate puns.
and people.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)

I had to study Shakespeare at school.
There's nothing worse than a myopic cunt chuckling at a 'joke' that was barely funny at the time of publication let alone now. It's not that I don't get it sir, well it's just that it's actually a bit shit.
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:34, archived)

i dont actually get them.
probably because i dont bother fucking reading them.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:44, archived)

I like you
you can stay :o)
(

jenpots, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:29, archived)

we have a strict one out one in policy.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)

Thanks.
I was worried I'd have to hang out with SpankyHanky, Pooflake and Legless and I wouldn't be able to keep up with their rapier wit, homely Northern sense of wisdom and justice, and sexual charisma.
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)

northern sexual charisma?
taking your cap off?
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

That's
RACIST
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)

oh well

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

I'm absolutely flabbergasted

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)

I'll write it in my internet fact book

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)

silly chubby cunt
(

weaver., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)

Ryan Bury
is a silly chubby cunt.
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

Oh how I miss our Ryan Bury.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

Did my shit cd arrive yet?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:29, archived)

Not yet. It's a shame, I'm looking forward to my unreadable tracklist.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)

Singapore airlines have got a sale on
Sydney for £399
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

i can stay right where i am for free

(

well, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)

is there a nice view?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)

yes actually

(

well, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)

pics or gtfo

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)

it's sunny occasionally too
www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/5165.grimetc.jpg
(

well, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)

that looks like Aberdeen

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

:(
it's obviously Yorkshire
(

well, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

I nearly asked if it was Yorkshire
Then decided not, in case I got the piss ripped out of me.

This is b3ta after all.
(

jenpots, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)

Looking at that made the hovis theme play in my head.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

looks like stalybridge

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 20:24, archived)

I don't want to go to Sydney
and I don't have £399 in my bank account.
(

jenpots, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:12, archived)

blimey, would have thought a major city would cost billions of pounds to purchase,guess as its in oz its bargain bucket.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

You'd have to pay me a fuck of a lot more than 400 quid
to surround me with Australians
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

Hello. JMG etc.
I'm going to take my contacts out, hold on.
By the time I get back there'd better have been something INTERESTING posted.
This is a challenge, shit internet!

/edit
WELL DONE.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:24, archived)

Good evening folks.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)

How much of a blind are you, then?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)

I hear you're a bit of a whore who needs to get a better name.
What did you do to him?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)

I told him he was dull, and to learn some proper English.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:28, archived)

Oh come on, it must have been more than that to win the title of biggest, bitchyest fucking retarded whore on here.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

Nope, that was it.
Oh, I also called him a retard.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)

Well,
if you're going to call people retards. Really Esme, how could you be so cruel?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:35, archived)

I don't know:(
I'm so mean. One theory is that it was because I'm a girl, and possibly an easier target.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

no
its because youre a cunt
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)

Says you, cunt.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)

calm down, no need to fight here
you're both cunts
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:42, archived)

cunt

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)

You totally ruined the sexy by butting in here.
I hate you.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:47, archived)

want me to get nekkid on webcam for you?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)

Nobody wants that. Not even your mum.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6240113
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

You're so jealous right now.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

but I'll do all the dirty stuff you like!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

I usually only pop them in if I'm DRIVING or at the FOOTBALL for better decison making.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)

Speccy four-eyed cunt.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:28, archived)

This has been claimed, before on here.
There was much wobbling.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

I'm wobbling now,
but it's caused by the weight of my bottle end glasses and my weak, flabby, unexercised neck.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)

I see.
A fairweather blind.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:29, archived)

I did this JMG.
www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/sammmmiii.jpg

It's not interesting though and I'm only posting it again to try and gain back the 3 minutes I wasted making it and having to crop Sammi's face :((((
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:30, archived)

ah, with the Duke's of Hazzard
General Lee roof emblem on the arm.
(

turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

Yeah, the confederate flag.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)

Oh that's harsh!
But quite amusing...
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)

LORDY!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)

This afternoon I went for a fitting for contact lenses
But they would not let me keep them :( I have to go back again next week for lessons of how to insert them and remove them.
(

turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:28, archived)

And I was hoping to collect Mrs T and little T from the airport tomorrow
not wearing my glasses to see if she noticed.
(

turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:28, archived)

Most people tear up when learning to put them in, so be prepared.
I myself didn't, though. Actually the girl helping me put them in cried. I'm that rock.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)

when they tested the lenses in my eyes while in the shop
the right lens popped in straight away, but the left one took 8 attempts to get it in. The left one was quite thick, and yuo could also see it was thick as well, and also it has an astigmatism.
(

turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:35, archived)

Hope you get on well with them, I've managed 7 years so far.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

spotify:track:3XOd9djkuIup4jtZw5qDmE
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)

spotify:track:5VsXO4AEebb5Y07Lf8jyND
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

spotify:track:6hWEIDBFXrJFNQDO43bWFo

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)

spotify:track:17OpRtdiOkDyz8uIH7H0Jw
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)

(((((99memoties of gran tourismo with taht one0))))))))

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:46, archived)

i play it again
:))))))
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)

i am
gtg
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)

toodle pip

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)

HELLO, THE JMG

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)

I dun pictuewww
www.b3ta.com/board/9532191
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

HOOOOGE
but nice
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

We have the ability to look at board unprompted.
I've already seen it. It made me regret going on board.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

I have the ability to know you have the ability to look at board unprompted unprompted.
Now fuck off.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

Why do we always argue when all I want is to love you?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

Because I need you too much.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

I'm yours for £150 plus p&p

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

I'd want a page 3 model for that

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

Are you a very optimistic person by nature?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

/ac
www.b3ta.com/talk/6215486
(

mongychops, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

:(

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

it's TOO BIG

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy thankyou

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

that's some felt tip work!

Edit: what's up with b3tards? I can't seem to upload any images for /board
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

gel pen, I'll have you know.
I'M NOT POOR.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

FUCK THIS PICTURE
START CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY
(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

FUCK YOU BALDMONKEY, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH INDEED

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

also, woo to the pic or something

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

You have to say woo AND yay.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

i remember when hoopla used to be involved.
god I'm old.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)

don't forget Panowie...

(

applehead herp derp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)

Why the fuck don't the Sony Centre have prices on their website, harrumph.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

at a guess,
because the stores operate as franchises and set their own prices
(

well, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

because they don't want you to know how much stuff costs until you decide you want it and go in to the physical shop
so they can charge you more.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

combine that with what well said for it to make sense.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

Hello baldmonkey that is a nice picture I like it hello.

(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

Pathos, your name is baldmonkey.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

BOINGY BOINGY

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

Wait ... I don't mean pathos, do I?
I mean Porthos. The fat-yet-vain musketeer.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

oh you

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

Lets mock prog rock...
/mocks
(

the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

Never mind this, I've just been given £23 for doing nothing.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

I'll do twice as much nothing for £46 if you like.

(

turb0t, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

where did the extra £2 come from?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

I misquoted the amount.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

haha

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

I like prog-rock.
Mostly not the really shitty 1970s stuff, but modern prog.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

I bet you LOVE The Mars Volta.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

I HATE the mars volta.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

Does that include Status Quo?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

There's nothing progressive about status quo and their single rebranded song.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

Do Teh Quo count as prog?
I always thought it was 3 chord pap.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

WTF?!

(

the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

I just gave some mug £23 for letting me bum him! I told him to do nothing! hahah what a mug...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

i'm going to use the £23 to buy a massive sandwich in the shape of your face

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

lol but a sandwich.
That means bum it.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

Oh MAN
it's nearly booze o'clock. I really REALLY need to go to the pub.

What do you really REALLY need to do?

minus points for saying anything to do with faeces
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Lose about 10lbs.
I gained several chins during my time at university. I need to go back to not even having one.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

Just 10lbs?
I have to lose hella more than that :(
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

I'm 13st 3
I've got a lot of muscle, but I'm a bit porky on top of that. Basically, I need to tone up.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

that's what all the fatties say

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

Well I'm saying it and I think I need to lose weight,
so read into that what you will.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

I'm reading a blimp with a marsbar sticking out of it into it

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

I'm so eager to eat mars bars I can't even get the wrapper off :(
You're going to give me a complex.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

Get ready for Glastonbury

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

I hope you have fun.
I didn't like it when I went.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

it'll be awesome,
I'm desperate for a break from work too.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

Not go to the pub
I overdid it a little yesterday

~~little~~ lot
(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

Surely not!
Not YOU, broady?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

I NO!

(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

Hmmm, I'm not sure if I fancy drinking tonight
which is fucking weird for me.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

boozing and gaming at home for me I thinks.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

Likewise.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

OMG READ MY SIG D00D

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

It's: Jet Jacuzzi
I DON'T CARE YOU CAN ALL HAVE IT!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

I'M SO GOING TO SHOUT NORTHERN AT YOU DOWN MY HEADSET

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

Oh DG.
I'll have a drink in your honour
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Good lass, make sure there are plenty of umbrellas in it.
full size ones.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

I can't drink
I'm working at 6am tomorrow. :(
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

Go biking at the weekend.
Also pub would be good.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

Ooh biking.
YES. I think I might do this on Sunday.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

It's good fun.
Where you going?
(

BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

Clean the house.
Finish the spare room.
I will do neither of these.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

I must also do these things
and I make a similar claim!
(

M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

You need to stop shooting up smack and cocaine.

(

BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

But Muuuuuuuum...

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

I'm going to take away your needles.
Don't make me do it.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

if you don't bring down those dirty spoons from your bedroom right this minute...!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

YES.
Idling and xbox gaming in your pants FTW
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

Oooops, haver I left my webcam on again?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

Squeeze out a log
but I might kill two birds with one stone and have a quick wank at the same time.
(

M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

Pure class

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

And great time management.
;P
(

M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

DEFEAT HUNGER
WITH JUSTICE PIE
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

You know what you doing

(

M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

how long do wigs and hammers need to be cooked for?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

Tenderise the wigs with the hammers
and you'll trim a day off the cooking time.
(

M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

GREAT FORTUNE

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

I'm going to work. At my job. Because I have a job. Yes siree.
woohooooo
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

You're no longer an offical student, THERE IS NO EXCUSE!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

My student card ran out today :(
I get my results on Wednesday and I graduate on July 17th. Only then am I a proper grown up.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

thought you planned to do a MA?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

Get dinner ready
Off to work at a May Ball tonight :)
(

its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

I need to bang my superiors' heads together and have them book the rest of my training and my first shifts,
or else I'll be waiting till kingdom come.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

Cut all the sleeves off my t-shirts and do my hair like Emilio Estevez

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

Phwoar.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

Make this thing for my sister.
Get a job.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)

I really, really need to pack all of my remaining belongings
either into two bags to take to France with me, or into boxes to put into storage or into the bin. And clean the house.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:21, archived)

This is the laziest fake suicide I've ever heard of

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

Get this sodding tooth removed
But they said ring at 6 for an appointment. London sucks.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)

Drink a litre carafe of wine and stuff my face with pizza at la porchetta.

(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

Oh :(

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6239799
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

YAY

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Witch
We've got a witch! Thats some black magic you've used.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

He turned me into a NEWT!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

...I got better though.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

I was ready for some Terrible Internet Bullying

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

*kneels down behind you*
*gets other b3tan to push you over me*
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

*breaks arm and runs off crying*

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

In school, a couple of girls tried to do that to me.
I didn't fall over. I just accidentally booted the girl behind me, right in her ribs, with the back of my heel.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

I would have fallen over and started wrestling the girl, hopfully going for a Boston Crab and then a pin.
I'd get an errection and get embarrassed and be called '2ft Hip Digger Gums' for the rest of my life and have many, many lovers.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Pffft
I love you DG.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

JMG?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Oooh oooh oooh
HOW DIDJA DO?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Passed!
2:1 and a big happyface!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

So what does one normally do with a Biological Anthropology degree?
(apart from the obligatory mcd application form)
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Normally research or teaching
I don't want to do either!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

you could become like tarzan and go and live in the jungle and live on coconuts

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

and shag monkeys.
So it's not all bad.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

Only if you go for the pretty ones

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

in monkey terms, I'm quite pretty
*poses*
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

That is pretty much plan 'A' at the moment.
I really want a job working with food, i'm trying to get some experience in food buying with a view to eventually opening my own delicatessen and microbrewery.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

HURRAH!
*congratulatory hugs and squeezes*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

Thankyuuuuu!

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

oh :)

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

shut up you emo

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

:( Boots ran out of razorblades, and the nearest Superdrug is a mile away.
Will butter knives work?
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

smash the mirror for mocking your face
and use the broken glass to let out the pain.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

:(

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

jesus, anything will do.
a barbed wire fence. a scalpel. a hairclip.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

a tree. a screwdriver. a brick wall.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

custard

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

Blancmange

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

a cup of tea. a drawing pin. a paperclip.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

custard

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

Blancmange

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Milk, milk, lemonade

(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

round the back...

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

Blacminge
/Gonz
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

I'm quite partial to the occasional blacminge

(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Terrible Internet Racism
Quick, call Internet Lawyerman!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Blammion...blummongng...bll...PINK JELLY

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

You called?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

stealing my thunder you cunt

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

It sounds like a sheet of tin foil wafting in the wind

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

Indeed
*looks at the time*
*cries*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Still having trouble with clocks?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Yes
They don't move fast enough. Grr.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

Have you tried getting someone with a stronger arm to frisbee them at you?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Don't be silly
Time travel isn't that simple.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

If you sit on the clock it is

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I'm doing it right now.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I popped to tomorrow yesterday

(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Considering I work for Asda
I shouldn't bandy it about too much, but fucking gross.
(

Bats, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

I don't care
they've got 20 cans of stella on offer today for a tenner
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

Fucking hell.
Mrs Planearm had better watch out then.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Cor. Shame I'm going to the pub instead.
I despise how they change the prices. 30 cans of Coke, £6. Two days later, £9. Gah.
(

Bats, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

they are a bit shit like that I know

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

Really?
I don't see it on the website.
(

M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

Do you have any feelings of loyalty to asda? I wouldn't care about sullying their name if I worked for them.
Also, looks quite nice.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I really don't give a toss.
The only loyalty I have to them is to the people they employ, and that's only because I'm mates with half the girls on the checkouts.
(

Bats, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

~~girls~~ mongs
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

what are the two hook things on the end that's not got the tail?
they don't look whiskery, do mice have secret snail eyes on stalks?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

The mutant curry monster mouse does.

(

BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

Why not?
It's extremely likely this was a fuck-up on the supplier's part, rather than ASDA themselves.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

Because knowing my luck
I'll have to deal with the one Asda customer in the whole of Suffolk who comes in and goes off their nut about Asda's poor standards, how we should all be shot, etc. Unlikely, maybe, but still.
(

Bats, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

Moral of the story?
Get a takeaway, at least the have the decency to make the mouse look like chicken.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

I thought they normally made chicken look like something else.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

You are thinking of cat
disguised as chicken
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

I will only shop at Waitrose
bloomin povvos
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

They've opened a Waitrose in the center of croydon.
I don't think they researched the area to well.
(

BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

...oh no.

They should just open up a store that sells frozen burgers and curly chips. They'd make a fortune.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

This is how Chritianity and Judaism started.
ac
(

BindiBaji, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

I only shop at waitrose,
but that's because it's the closest supermarket.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

If safety button can be depressed
reject jar
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

"You're a fucking shit button."
"Sticks and stones may break my bones will never hurt me."
"You're in!"
*om nom nom*
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

Can anyone speak German?
I got an e-mail from the Eurofighter shop about some clothes I've ordered.

Anmerkungen und Kommentare zu Ihrer Bestellung:

Der Status Ihrer Bestellung wurde geändert.

Neuer Status: In Bearbeitung

Bei Fragen zu Ihrer Bestellung antworten Sie bitte auf diese eMail.

Mit freundlichen Grüssen

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

They said some pretty harsh words about your mum in that.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

that's ok
she's been dead 20 years
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

They want you to invade Poland.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

but there's no-one there
they're all over here
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Then ZE PLAN HAS VORKED!
HANS! START DA ENGINES! PANZERS ROLL!
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

Yes.
Notification and update on your order:

Your order status has changed.

New status: in processing

If you have any questions about your order, please reply to this email.

Friendly greetings
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Christ on a bike!
How the fuck am I supposed to reply in German?
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Just copy and paste sentences at random from Der Untergang
and hope for the best.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

"In processing"?
It's a fleece not a roll of Agfa
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

Well, it's not a direct translation.
Bearbeitung doesn't have a literal equivalent. It sort of means "the act of being worked on".
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

Thanks
I guess that means they are dispatching it. Hope I get it for wednesday :)
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

Just listen out for the sirens.
Your package will be the one you don't hear coming.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Their stuff is really good quality. You should get one too!
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

it's a bit...
chavvy.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

you won't see anyone else in one
(apart from me that is)
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

most people wouldn't be seen in public with it on,
that's why :)
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

"In progress" might be a better translation
for a random value of better
(

Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

Do you have any questions?
If you do, answer in english, it'll be fine.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

Nope, sorry

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Infomation and commentary for your purchase

The status of your purchase was promising.

Newer status: In Bear-baiting.

The clothes you purchased are eaten by bears so sorry for our previous email.

My friend likes you a lot.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Vielen Dank für Ihren Guffschnabelantrag.

Ich wünsche doppelte Eintragung mit einem Geschlechtsspielzeug mit jibber nabber Resultaten.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

Wüff Wüff!
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

*Shoots*

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

....
...Did you...Just TRY and shoot Police Dog...

EVERYONE. stuj just tried to kill Police Dog!!!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

More importantly, how is Police Dog now?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

Beats me!!
He just ran off...maybe he's DYING somewhere D:
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

NOT MY FAULT!
I thought he was a kraut.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Krautdog:
Mascot of any Krautrock band.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

He's probably got Ding in a closet and is running out of food

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Plenty of kittens here at the moment.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

Mexican LOL
\o\ lol /o/
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

They're asking you what they should have for tea
and telling you about what they're watching on telly.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

De Bargün Bükkethoffen

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

Eastendensteiffen
Tina: Tag Mike.
Mike: Guten Tag Tina.
Tina: Meine mutter commen fur zer lunch-hoffen?
Mike: NEIN! DIR MUTTER COMMEN! SCHNELL! SCHELL! DU SHLAG!
Man: Argh! Mein komf du blooten!
Tina: Der maleschlaffen! Das kie hast AMNESIAHOFFEN!
Mike: Actung! Actung maleschlaffen!
Man: Ja?
Mike: VOT IS YUR NAME?
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

Ike: Singen ze musik wieder, mit STANK.
Tina: bütt, Ike...
Ike: MIT STANK! ACHTUNG ODER ES IST DE BITCHENSCHLAPPEN!!
Tina: NEIN IKE. BITTE!!!
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

HANDSTITCHED BY BEARS

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

Dear Planearm,
For you, Tommy, ze war iz over.
Achtung! Spitfire.

love and kisses,

The Hun
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

VE ARE USING ZE EMAIL AS ZIS IS EFFICIENT.
VE IN ZE LAND OF GERMANY LOVE ZE EFFICIENCY.

VE HAVE NOTHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU, OTHER THAN OUR OPTIMUM EFFICIENCY SKILLS.

MUCH LOVE, ADOLF.

You have to read german as if it was written in capital letters.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Just type a reply in English.
Slowly and loudly.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

Ha ha ha.
Hello mister.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

'Ning Gingezilla.
I gots ~~lots~~ some Office Cats now.
5 feral kittens infested our portakabin. but we think one's died.
There were 3 fluffball ones and 2 tiny black ninja types.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

:D
Gingezilla. I like that.

Dawww, office kitties. Call one of them Tara :p

How are you?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I got dumped by my Ding-a-like.
When I told her about the kittens and showed her photos she went all soppy and that.
And then hit the roof when I went, "Yeah it's going to be a difficult choice, which one to keep and which four to drown."
:(
She should have known I was mostly joking.
I'd have probably kept two.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

Roughly...
American and commentary to inner best-selling
There status inner best-selling words Gandolf
Newer Status: In Bear Baiting
By Fraggle to inner Best selling ant warden she bitter Alf diesel she-male
Mint fried chicken gruesome
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

"Notes and comments for your order:
The status of your order has been changed.
New status: In processing (being processed).
If you have any questions about your order, please reply to this email.
With friendly greetings"
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

STOP ACTUALLY HELPING.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

I know a little German...

...He's sitting over there
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

It's something along the lines of
"VERE ARE YA PAPERS TOMMY?"
(

magnum, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

Google languages rock meinen welt krankenhoffen kartoffeln klippidy-kloppen
Notes and comments about your order:

The status of your order has been changed.

New Status: In progress

For questions about your order please reply to this email.

Yours sincerely,
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

not as good as porn and twice as shameful to be caught reading it's..
www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue383/
(

rob, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

TOP

Sexface, Coz you don't like Wormulusfeld you get your own comic

www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/adventuresofsexface.jpg
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

Also, newsletter wooo!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

Ha ha ha ha.
I still like mine that you did and Druid's subsequent amendments.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/1309.taobluestar.jpg ?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

AHAHAHA
also, as if she's ever that happy to be getting out of bed!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

It's like looking into a mirror...TO OPPOSITE WORLD!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

but but everything else in it is bang on
especially the sound effect made when she falls on her face
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

In real life when she falls over, the sound SHLOOMPATINK is made

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

Would her face reach the floor?

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

YAY

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

FLARP!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

i keep thinking it says wormulusfield
like cloverfield but scarier
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

Is that the film where monsters sing and cry about eating butter?
Shit me right up
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Why are they crying? WHY?
That cartoon shuddabeenme.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

Pffft

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

You, sir, are totally HATSTAND!
:)
(

Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

Spankyouverymuch

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

*offers*
no tongues though. we aren't THAT close.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

Will there be a free lolly taped to the front?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

Free condom stapled through the middle

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

THREADWASTE

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

That's blocked for me.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

*gasps for air*
SSsS_sS^Ss_tTt^TtuUu_uU^JJjjjj!!1!1^{!!^{!^!}}
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

*Bums*
_KKkK^{RRRR^{iI^SSSssStt}i}iiIIIInnnEEE!!!!^{!!^!!!!!}
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

*sigh*
get a ~~chat~~room
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

I'm only pandering her because she's Mrs Broadsword.
You know it's you I really love Zuki.
*LUFFS*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

STOP THE BOARD
my favourite dog in crete has died :(

www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1966418&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=120101505459&aid=-1&id=585393610&oid=120101505459#/photo.php?pid=1966418&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=120101505459&aid=-1&id=585393610&oid=120101505459

:'(
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

TJ: If any xbox using b3tans want to gaz me their gamertags, that'd be just grand.
I'm venturing online for the first time imminently. Well, over the weekend.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

I'll be getting an x-box in time for fight night round 4.
If you buy fight night round 4 as well, I can destroy you on it.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

You make it sound so tempting.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

NOT BILLY'S DOG WHO IS ALREADY DEAD SO IT DOESN'T MATTER IS IT?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

i carried that one (snoop) up the whole stalis toad when it ran away
it wouldn't go on the bike or walk

billy gave me free drinks for a bit

good days

- it was callie from the coach
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

I bet you met a lot of dogs in Crete

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

did you not put any air holes in the crete?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

yup
was lovely with some onion gravy
(

weaver., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

QUICK ! SOMEONE CALL ME SO I CAN SHOW OFF HOW UNCOOL-COOL I AM WITH MY MMMBOP RINGTONE !!!

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Do you want to be House?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

has anyone else seen the HILARIOUS 3 ad on 4od yet?
the one where the ZANY WACKY standup comedian is talking about people looking at maps on mobile phones

i've seen it 100 times because it's before, during and after EVERY FUCKING COMEDY PROGRAMME and gets FUNNIER every time

rant: GO!
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Is that the one where
you're watching a truly funny programme, interrupted by some arsestain who is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a funny person?
(

The Neville What what what, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

I believe that's the one
It's like having a grater of pure unfunny smashing your face
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

the little prick
i bet he's done CATG

there's been some fucking awful ones there ( AND SOME ACE ONES LOVE OOH TFS)
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

Seriously, you thought he was good?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

i was thanking him for arranging it
he was a good compere
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

Oh right, that wasn't terribly clear.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

I watched a bit on youtube.
I only managed to watch a bit because my face started cringing into itself.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

haha
you should come to the massive one we are going to have soon.
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

I don't live in London.
I reeeeally wanted to go as well :(
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

Come to the CHB bash
Some of the less retarded b3ta based contributors will be there for you to watch between your fingers.
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

I have to wash my hair.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

It was grim.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

I didn't know you'd been.
Who was on?
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

Not at CATG, at the bash.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

Ah! fair enough
I suspect it isn't really fair to compare the two, given one is made up of professional comics and one is made up of spastic autisms off the internet.
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

I meant TFS's stand up.
Grim.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

"morning reports please?"
*crowd is silent*
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

yes
i wouldn't mind if it was a few different jokes, but it's the same one. and he's really annoying. and the audience don't even laigh. are you telling me they paid all those people in the audience for one fucking joke? it's just not very economical if you ask me
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

that shitty Mars Planets one for Friends
especially the creepy old naturist guy with a luvvy accent, mostly because he's irritating, but partly because he reminds me of my old stalker
(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

Mamma said knock you out!
YOUR mother, by the way
(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

she's on the gin again

(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

He makes me cringe when he does the one about getting to work by wind-power. His delivery is atrocious.
He's so obviously an actor PLAYING a comedian. Why didn't they just get a proper comedian?

Edit: Shit. He IS a proper comedian! blog.3g.co.uk/2009/05/3-gets-giggly-with-channel-4-original.html
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

I need links before I can make opinions.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

Opinions of mine on things
QI is shit
Dr Who is shit
Transformers 2 is probably shit.

QUICKLY INTERNET START YOUR ENGINES!
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

Last person to disagree is bald and on the dole!

(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

I have an opinion on mints

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

1. No
2. Don't know
3. Yes
(

Newington, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

You've had your attention
don't be gluttonous.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Wormulus is shit

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

MOAR ATTENTION MIKE
FEED ME! FEED ME!
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

Well that's just your opinion.
I respect that.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Never thought I'd find myself hoping for a food thread...

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

1) Yes, but at least it's intelligent shit
2) You're probably right
3) Who cares. Giant robots and explosions.
(

The Neville What what what, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Your opinions are rubbish
And only one is correct.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Someday I am going to pop you with a barbed internet insult.

(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

QI is funny
Dr. Who is shit
Transformers looks a bit meh.
But I would like to transform my dinkle into a car and drive up Megan Fox's noonie.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

What type of car?

(

thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Robin Reliant

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

you making up for lost time?

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

You were shit in Star Trek
I watched it last night.
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

You're like the Riverghost of /talk
you cheeky wee scamp you
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

ym was shit in bed
last night
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

you went away for all that time, and that is the best you can muster?
oh wormulus.
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I wish you never returned

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

The power of online voting!
Let Democracy be heard:
www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/polls/poll.html?pollId=1011506

Who could help but vote "yes" to such an even-handed proposition?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

Why did you post the facebook like and not the dailymail one?

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

Oops,
edited appropriately.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

can we make a cross board effort to get everyone to vote yes?
I mean, I'll have no hand in organising or even actively encouraging it, but I just think it'd be nice.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

i think everyone already has voted yes.
have you seen the results?
(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

Nah, didn't bother voting.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6239500
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

I think that should work....
open.spotify.com/user/mikewozere/playlist/4F2us1X7KD1aDSgoXogpI0
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

can you gaz me that link please. only have spotify at home
cheers for the effort though
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

I'd like to know what the context of the vote is.
I mean, the answer should be no, no-one should be able to jump the queue, but are they at higher risk of certain diseases? Are they found jumping the queue already? Why do I even care?
(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

Bet I don't want to leave facebook. Why would you do that?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

maybe facebook wants to leave you but is being very passive-agressive about it

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

oh noes D':

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

haha I just logged back on to face this!
www.b3ta.com/talk/6239430
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

so,
this men and motors movie?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I don't think it exists.

(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

a crying shame

(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

facebook?

(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

hahaha awesome.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

Why thank you, so are you.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

oh hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii you
*sidles a bit closer*
(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

rocky i think i am failing at everything at the moment.
i am just being crap at binkying. WHAT TO DO?
(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

BINK HARDER AND FASTER

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

Sit down
Take a breath
Have a brew
Think awesome thoughts
Frolic
Repeat if required
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

85%
brilliant
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

Christ, Richard Littlejohn is an odious cunt.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

I feel like I should try and disagree with you for expressing an opinion on the internet.
but I agree with you too much.
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

Voting yes over here, boss.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

that's the power of the internet!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

saym

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

The few remaining people left here in the office on a Friday afternoon have voted "Yes".

I love democracy with a shot of Internet Mischief^TM
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

I tried but there was an error,
THIS IS WORSE THAN IRAN
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

Linked it to a few others here as well.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

i like that in the top 20 polls you've got
will andy murray win wimbledon?
AND
can andy murray win wimbledon?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

Haha, yes

(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

Surely the Mail didn't actually write that
Even they can spell "gypsy"

/Also, it's happened, I've finally been outraged by an MP's expense claim. Drawbridge wax? go for it. Duck Island? knock yourself out. But £16K for lawyers fees for trying to impeach Blair over Iraq? Alex Salmond, please stand up. Clearly you are a whole pile of cunty clitori amongst the labial background noise. Well done.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

It took you until now to realise that?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

I just thought he was a fucking idiot with a face that needed a good slap before
That's a pretty special expenses claim though.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

He's a pretty special person

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

for £16k he could have hired TWO hitmen

(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

I'd have slightly less of an issue with that
at least it carries an element of style.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I'm not sure Strunk and White would be up to much garrotting these days

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

Your metaphor made me snort and splutter.
Cunt.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

Have you read the Littlejohn piece on the subject to the right?
it's got every word or term you'd expect in a Daily Mail/Littlejohn piece about Gypsies.
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

I used to have his personal email addy.
Shame I don't anymore, some fun could be had with that.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

Fuck this,
It's my birthday tomorrow, what the cock are you getting me?
(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

Couple of crackwhores?

(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

TJ:
Going to see Transformers 2?

Spot the very tenuous b3ta link!

End TJ
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

Does it have something about suicide and pancreatic cancer?
or is it just a tedious film?
(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

There's a bald Geordie signing on.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

Opposite the Royal Courts?

(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

Quite possibly, yes!

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

Are there robocrackwhores in it?

(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

There's something oddly close.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

You realise of course that Transformers 2 is a film for children
and retards that are entertained by bright lights, loud noises and boobs.

It's like men and motors: the movie: 2
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

I like explosions
and helicopters,
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

Those are two items of my criteria for watching films.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

What's wrong with bright lights, loud noises and boobs?
Fuck off & flounce again you snob.
(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

If bright lights, tits and loud noises don't excite you
then I don't know what's wrong with you
(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

Hang on,
there's a men and motors movie?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

Whereas you prefer dim lighting, quiet whispers and bums?
Like when you go cottaging. You repressed bummist.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

You really are a nob.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

It's escapist entertainment.
I didn't like it, if I'm totally honest. However, taken as pure entertainment, it's fucking sweet.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

Entertainment for the masses a little too lowbrow for you Seb?

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

No seriously,
where can I find out about the men and motors film? IMBD doesn't have anything on it!
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

guess that means it's up to you to make it, utol

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

*runs into a car*
*explodes*
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

I'm not even kidding, I would watch that

(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

Joining the list of 'fuck you's here.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

still no cd :(

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

We'll have to set up a skype conversation and I'll sing to you.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

do you have spotify?
just make a playlist with the songs that were on the randomburn and send me a link to it
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

Rabble rabble rabble rabble

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

Safety in numbers and all that.
If you don't agree you'll get TARGETTED.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

I GOT YOUR CD YESTERDAY
and then i didn't listen to it cos i spent the whole time trying to make my own.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

Don't you hate pants?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

You realise of course that Transformers 2 is a film for children
and retards that are entertained by bright lights, loud noises and boobs.

It's like men and motors: the movie: 2

[insert something that is going to get me attention]
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

*sigh*

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

I'll reply here
since I've clearly missed the news that it's Wormulus' birthday today and we should respond to his trolls to make him a happy birthday boy.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

Wait a minute
Wormulus is less popular than me?

*headspins*
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

He's wanking himself in a coma due to all this attention.
Revelling at the "too serious" internet users and how anyone can be upset by the words that vomit out his keyboard like shit oozing out a fresh corpse's rectum. It doesn't matter what's said, it's the internet, nothing is real, serious or matters.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

what?

(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

wormulus hates a well liked and popular thing
what a surprise
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

I resent the implication that I'm not keen on a film becuase other people like it.
I had no idea so many of you felt so strongly about something I thought only Karl was gibbering about.

Looks a bit meh to me, all cgi and American voices. It wont be as good as the first one and that was alright
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

got to be honest
despite the fact that i am no fan of the transformers movies either

you sound like a total dick here
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

A BIG TUB OF UGLY.
SINCE YOU USED ALL YOURS LAST YEAR.
(

If I didn't use it, every time Donkey Gums and I met, a rift would form in the space-time continuum.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

making a massive aDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON noise as it tore

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

aDOOOOOOON!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

kind of like a matter/anti-matter reaction
only ugly/sexy
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

I'm not sure if you're cussing me or complimenting me
So thankfuck you.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

I was trying to compliment you.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

I have strong feelings for you, but I don't know how to tell you
So I will follow you around like a pug puppy and say nice things to you, in the hope that you will make the first move.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

let's double dick each other

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

I can't wait for you to meet my mum :)

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

I'm going to tell her that her cooking is better than my mum's for browny points.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

And I'm going to tell your mum that she has awesome tits.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

THIS CAN'T FAIL!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

*high fives*

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

A Metal Detector
It's tuned in for kids with braces.

TJ: Did any Londoners by Covent Garden see by the F1 car those supermodels giving out Andrex stuff!?!? they were double honeys
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

Slow down, breathe, now type it again.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

Ok...
dididanyoneherherseethosegirlsmfwithhthelonbgletgssandfndstitissiititiiss dounle honyese?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

better,
and no, I work on an industrial estate in Burgess Hill :'(
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

I'll ask one and see if they'll pop last

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

thank god they're handing out andrex and not sandpaper.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

Nope,
although there was a ridiculous amount of hotties in central MK last night.

I got chatted up,
by a guy,
who was ginger.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

Hotties....Milton Keynes
Does. Not. Compute.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

I have a number of attractive female friends,

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

You're their GBF

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

I do occasionally go out with just girls
It's pretty shit, I'm trying to cut down.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

I seem to always end up with just girls.
It's very shit.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

It depends
girls can be a laugh, but you cant beat a rowdy night out with the FACKIN' LAAAADS!

No-one ever started an argument in a takeaway when just out with girls.
(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

your fucking mum

(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

You got a randomburn from me
complete with footprint. What more do you need?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

It didn't smell enough :(

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

Foot fetishist

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

i want one.
send me one. i've totally burned one for you.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

Dawww.
Thanks Binks. Alright, I will :D
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

i've sent you both one!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

a lifesize origami version of you

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

Fuck all
I barely know you. How presumptuous of you to even say such a thing.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

Come to Ealing and I'll buy you a drink

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

Fuck Ealing

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

Your loss.
It's £2.50 a pint in the North Star
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

Really?
Crumbs! That's about normal...
(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

It is?
£3.10 in Chiswick
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

Sounds to me like you west London freaks are being ripped off.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

Yes, we are
But we're cooler.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

I'm afraid I have to disagree
I can WALK to Camden from my place.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

So could I
It would just take a lot longer
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

£3.30 in Fulham
but it doesn't seem that bad because when I lived in York I went to all the poncey bars anyway
(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

I went in stages
£2 in Boro, £2.50/2.80 in Portsmouth, to £2.50-£4 in London
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

That's (very exp..
Nah.
(

Haha

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

It's on the WRONG SIDE of London
fuck the west side.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

What's wrong with the west?
We have The Westfi... oh
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

North east baby!

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

North West is Best!
FUCK YOU EAST & SOUTH!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

I'm not too far from the river
But north of it. Is that technically North West?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

Do you have an N postcode or an S?

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

Neither, I know it's not technically north west
Mine's W4
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

Well that's just shit really.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

SW FTW!

(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

SAAaaaf??!?! SSAAAAF!?!?
Get out.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

don't you mean
'get AAaaahht, you slaAAAAG!'
(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

SCH SCH SCHLAAAAaaaaaG AH!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

AWWOIGHT, 'ERE, WATCHOO TAAAWWKIN' AH BAAAHT?

(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

You're soooo not North West
You're fucking miles away from me and live on a silly tube line
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Already have
/has an ex in Ealing
(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

An ex an'all Ealing?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

yes, tenuous, I know.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

I'm far too hungover to understand that

(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

This
But with 'dizzy from codeine and pain' instead of hungover. Still feels the fucking same.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

My boyfriend lives there
I'm hardly away from the place.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

I know
he's my ex
(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

The brother from Everybody Loves Raymond made from peach scented soaps

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

*happy baggy faces*
AH MAAAAA!
FRAAAANK!
RAYMOND!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

Damn.
I wish I was your friend. You think of the best gifts.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

Dick in a box.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

Just what I've always wanted :)

(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

Girls and camp men of B3ta!
I am fucked. It's my girlfriend's birthday tomorrow, and I have bought her nothing. Not because I forgot, but because I don't know what the fuck to get her.

Any suggestions? around £40-£50?
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

The biggest dildo in the shop
lol he said dildo!!
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

www.bad-dragon.com/cart.php?target=product&product_id=260&category_id=60
(

Dobsky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

do I want to click that?
so tempted
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

it's pretty grim

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

I clicked it
all I can say now is what the fuck?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

Its a dragon cock shaped dildo
that shoots spunk... So yes, you do want to click it.
(

Dobsky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

but my cock is already shaped like a dragon
and shoots real man stuff
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

I don't understand
How they decided upon the shape of a dragon cock...
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

What the fuck
www.bad-dragon.com/cart.php?target=product&product_id=288&category_id=60
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:12, archived)

I AM UPSET
ONLINE
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

but what do they want to stretch?
I'M CONFUSED
(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:14, archived)

Almost as large
As the large seadragon!!!!!!!
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

why are you people still browsing the site?

(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

Because I'm sold!
I've ordered about 4 already!!! Just stop me
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

I find it amusing how there's nothing in the "About" section

(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

"the Drippy Dragon is guaranteed for 25 years"
well thank fuck for that, I was absolutely sick of my imaginary animal sex toys only lasting about 15 years
(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

25 years and one day and it clogs up, THAT WOULD BE A SAD DAY :(

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

clogged with old lube and clunge gunge!

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

underwear
you need more cash than that though so erm, dunno
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

seriously though
if you could stretch to a proper Aubade bra and thong she would be on you like a ferret up a drainpipe.

It's sexy and (this'll be the bit that wins it for you) really really comfortable.
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

a wedding gyrocopter

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

The Sims 3

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

I actually think this is a good idea. She used to like the original Sims
and I can't convince her to play Battlefield 2 with me, because apparently she doesn't like being hunted down like a dog and then run over in a tank by her own boyfriend.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

God, what a stupid bitch.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

This
made me officelol
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

I was about to say that.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

Spit roast
She wont want to bring it up for fear of upsetting you

But its all girls want.

Sexface can be hired for such events for a low, low fee.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

so low he'll even pay you

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

always down to food?

(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

What does she like?
Get her an experience day or a spa day or something. I'm not especially girlie so I wouldn't know what to suggest. I'd be happy with gig tickets or CDs/DVDs myself.

and maybe some flowers.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

what the fuck is wrong with you?
giving a sensible answer and everything
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

Flowers? Haha, you girl!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

I bought some tickets to the Cribs in October
but I won't kid anyone that they were for anybody apart from myself. But an "experience day" is ideal. Anyone done anything good recently that I could pay for?
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

hahaha, you're asking for it now
what about.........

ym?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

LOL

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

A day out at Loofahworld.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

are you running a loofah sales business
on the side?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Loofahworld YEAH!
Can we go to Spatula City too dad, can we?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Hey man,
I've now got David Bowie stuck in my head.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

Ooh
I'm going to see The Cribs in October too. YAY.

I dunno, zorbing? Parachute jump? Flying lesson? The internet is your FRIEND.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

A lap on a race course in an aston martin

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

No no no
It's MY birthday tomorrow.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

Why don't you take her shopping?

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

Why don't you let her hit you in the face with a hammer?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

Because I'd rather shove my face in a ham-slicer
But thanks for an otherwise sensible suggestion.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

this
women and shopping is fucking shit.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

especially if you go to La Senza, pitch a massive tent at the thought of your lady in all that sexy underwear
and then leave the shop with PJs
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

I didn't go with her...
i wanted it to be a surprise for me :(
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

haha
well you got that!
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

give me a pound and I'll draw her a moustache

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

Get her a better boyfriend.

(

Well,
I got my girlfriend a go in one of them zorbing balls, looks like great fun

The bonus is it's a ticket for two people so she has to take me too, score
(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

A dragon statue and some crystals,
women love it.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

I'll bet she likes loofahs.
Who doesn't? Get her fifty quidsworth of loofahs.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

I heard women like Will and Grace too
he should use the loofahs to build statues of Will or Grace
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

With small motors so they can act out the scenes
Happy birthday, darling, I got you a mechaloofahgrace.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

few ideas
nice cosmetic stuff: Clarins box set, or Liz Earl.

theatre/ballet/opera/trash metal gig tickets

Posh bottle of booze - Selfridges, if she like Vodka get her some posh stuff, ditto Gin or Rum (Sailor Jerry).

Games: Sims 3
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

La Senza vouchers
She will love you for it

and you get to see her in hot lingerie.

Unless like my ex.. bought FUCKING PYJAMAS WTF
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

That is a fucking insult.
But the suggestion is good.
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

hahaha
I can see why she might be an ex
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

crotchless pjs

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

I heard Duncan is entirely smooth down there too, like action man

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

La Senza lingerie is shitty, though.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

this is what I am told
my wallet does not stretch to replacing every item of her underwear with french stuff though cos its arse-clenchingly expensive

although so so worth it.......
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

just make a huge fuss of her...
massage oils, candles the lot
(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

MAKE HER A CARD
She will love it.
(

Cae1, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

I have already done that.
I think home made cards are always the best
(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

trufax.
It's just so much better than buying one! Cheaper, more fun, and personal.
(

Cae1, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

Get a couple of crackwhores to put on a show for her

(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

This is why they call you
broadsword, the good idea man.
(

Cae1, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

She'll never be bored
with a pair of crackwhores

it's the gift that keeps on giving
(

broadsword, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

oh jesus what does she like?
how about a computer game?
books?
music?
lego?

a cool hat or bag?

tickets for something she'd like to see?

take her to the zoo? a gallery? a picnic? the beach?
(

sleepybinky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

or dress up as a fireman and.....
SET FIRE TO YOUR HOUSE!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

Pay her a compliment.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

WITH GUNS

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:18, archived)

have we all done this yet?
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5575644/Suicidal-British-man-saved-by-online-friend-in-Australia.html

also, I'm going to WAR OF THE WORLDS
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

You tried to commit suicide?
You dick.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

Never even thought about it.

(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Just a cry for help, eh?

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

A girl I knew at university tried to kill herself becuase she was in love with me and couldn't tell me.
I suspect she also had mental health problems but I'm chalking it up as a win.

True story, don't worry she got better.
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

War Of The Worlds? The live show?
I saw it a couple of years ago. It was shit. And I'm quite a fan of it the original thing.
(

Jobe, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

Shut up shut up shut up!

(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

Sorry. The big talking head thing was awful.
I was majorly disappointed. They might have improved it though.
(

Jobe, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

BE SILENT
or I'll tear up our agreement about that day of the week that may not be named except on the day of the week which that day is.
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

did her glasses prescription finally arrive?

(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

Hello.
Read this, everyone.
(

Jobe, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

haha grand

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

That is a classic

(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

*snort*

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

I distressed myself the other day
by browsing through the father's day gift ideas in a national newspaper and thinking "Oo ... that's nice" to most of them.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

Haha. You're like, old and stuff.

(

Jobe, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

I'm on the look out for some practical easy-iron nylon slacks.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

Hello Shambles.
I'm back from France and being held prisoner in a bike hire shop. We were told we'd be helping in a youth hostel on Mull but the owner has put us here instead (after I mentioned in passing that I'd ridden a bicycle once) and told us to keep it open 7 days a week, eight hours a day, and fucked off. We are seeking accommodation elsewhere then reporting him to the friendly happy helpy website he's abusing, if not the police. A man came round with a court summons for him today.
(

Newington, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

He sounds like a thoroughly charming chap.
Welcome sort-of home.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

He told us he'd arrange for us to be allowed to use the showers at the youth hostel over the road.
Actually he pointed us to a neighbour's flat, then asked how often we'd like to shower. I diplomatically said once a day would be all right. He said quite seriously that was "asking a bit much".

It's quite fun telling potential customers "Don't buy from us, we'll rip you off." There's almost no business anyway, certainly not enough to justify keeping this place even if he owns it outright. I'm sure it's all some sort of tax dodge.
(

Newington, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

Every dad should have a copy of this
www.amazon.co.uk/Dad-Stuff-Shedloads-Ideas-Dads/dp/0743275748/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245411079&sr=1-1

It full of old classics like pretending to pull your nose off and the same with the thumb but there are some ace tricks and puzzles to set your kids that I'd never heard of before.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

Wait
My dad can't really pull his nose off?
(

Newington, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

Awesome! hahaha

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

CELLAR RAPIST
QUINCY: M.E.
FRITZL: CELLAR RAPIST
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

Haha was it that Spunky13 kid?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

I hope so.
*calls the orthorities to find out*
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Joking a side, I wonder who it was and I hope they're ok.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Crazy times, DG. Crazy times.

(

Jobe, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

Indeed Jobey. Please don't go trying to die :(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

Even if I did try, I'd fully expect one of you cunts to turn up and ruin it for me.

(

Jobe, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

I'd stand outside your house with a pug smooshed against your window, trying to lick its way through.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

Pffft.

(

Jobe, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

I WIL SAYVE YOO!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

how many otters would it take to carry a coffin?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

it was an offtopicer,
I was involved in the thread,
I made jokes.

seriously though I gazzed the aussie girl advice and tried to help.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Is this before or after you walked past the sobbing rape victim in MK.
you total total bastard.
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

I've been stopped by the police twice and asked about it.
SCS will be ringing me for a statement next week
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Well, you do look a bit rapey.
It's the clamy handprints on your jeans.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

I'm not skinny enough to be a suspect
umm, yay?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

it was ME!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

I'm glad that shops that can't sell sofas in this credit crunch are diversifying.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

Wow, you're like a Hero by proxy or summat.
Did you ask her out after?
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

she's a girl online,
what do you think?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

That's a definite yes then?

(

Malaka omdz, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

Well at least the guy is ok

I've saved a b3tan female twice from committing suicide. If one of her friends didn't call me then I doubt she would be here now.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

blimey

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

Quite.
Ligature is a great word though.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

it's an excellent word
Alright Shambles, I trust you're well?
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Smashing.
I'm watching a baby throw sticks of carrot and parsnip around the floor. I believe it's called 'feeding' although I can't really understand why.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

Excellent work. Colour me jealous, it sounds fun.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

It certainly makes me feel quite smug about having wooden floors everywhere.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

see I am glad I've got a section of wooden flooring to practice my kendo footwork.
Geek :(
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

Now we're on to BANANA.
It's a lovely feeling ... a bit of half-chewed banana squidged between the toes. Some people pay good money for that.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

haha :)
excellent stuff.

Enjoy the rest of the 'feeding'
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Ooooh, gossip.
Who was it? And who was the cambridgean saviour?
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

It was on QotW
not that this should come as any surprise.
(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

A QOTWer told the truth?
This I find hard to believe.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

yeah let's all talk about it and make him feel bad about it
YAY
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

WHY CAN'T YOU KILL YOURSELF PROPERLY?
YOU FUCKING USELESS SMELLY CUNT.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

I'm 24
thus it's not me
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

You're still shit at suicide.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

that's true.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

It would be quite humiliating being rescued from death by someone on b3ta.

(

WormuIus, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

unless it was JMG

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

i hope that was you
ya flouncer

edit: oooh i know a guy from wantage. posh guy, big farm. got flooded 2 yrs ago. meh.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

Is that Vampirecat?
She's got a b3ta friend in Cambridge, I believe.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

I'm pretty hungry.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

I've just had fried squid.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

you may be my hero.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

We went out for tapas last night.
We did not go for the calamari, though the gambas pil pil was delightful.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

gambas pil pil is the best thing ever
I order it every other night

nomnomnom

you should try the venado

where abouts are ya?

me and broadsm... whatever are down the costa del sol sway
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

Errrm, Costa del Mancunia.
There's this strange yellow orb in the sky, interrupting our lovely, lovely rain.

The locals are all out throwing rocks at it as we speak.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

haha :D i'm from that way
miss the peak district though. everythings dry here.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

Let's houseswap for 2 weeks.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

or you can just come visit
cheap flights from manchester airport to gib, i'm 10 mins walkaway from the airport.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

I think it was, yeh

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

that wasn't on talk was it?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

No, Offtopic

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

I guess on off topic it's different,
but if a regular said that on /talk I'm not sure if I'd believe them. And even if I did, I'm pretty sure that they'd just be insulted and goaded by others
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

he didn't say it publicly
he said it on gaz,
she posted a message asking for help.
people mocked.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

And thats why b3ta doesnt need any modding of any sort.
no.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

There was much mocking even over there

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

animosity on the internet:
not always good.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

If I decided to 'end it'
I definitely wouldn't tell any of the fuckers on here.
(

jenpots, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

not even me?
I've got first dibs on your dead body.. you have to tell me so I can get there while it's still warm :(.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

No, only one or two of us so far

(

Newington, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

Well Done B3ta
I hope the lad gets better soon though *hugs* in case he sees this.:(
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

he's online now,
and not happy about the story. I met him on saturday he seemed better.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

i can imagine he isn't happy, It wouldn't be easy to go thorugh that and then have it plastered on the news

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

You learn from your mistakes

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

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