Is a pringle a crisp?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8060204.stm

I think not. Either way, they're not that good.

Pringle opinions?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

It's not a crisp
Its a lizard in crisp form.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

I would say they are.

You would put them in the crisp section at Waitrose.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Would I? Why? I don't work there.

( thealternativefact, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Because you just picked them up and realised they were shit and put them back again.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

In my nearest tesco they're set a little bit apart from the crisps, but in the same aisle.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

If pringles were not in a tube, they would be easy described as crisps. Same ingredient make up as Discos.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

Some of them aren't in tubes!
/shock
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

But they're not made the same way.
They're made from dough.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

and tiny, curved rolling pins

( thealternativefact, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Monster Munch aren't crisps either then
Or Doritos
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Monster Munch aren't crisps, they're corn snacks,
Doritos are tortilla chips.

The tax man's definition of crisps involves potatos.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

EVERYTHING SHOULD BE IN THE CRISP SECTION!!
Man this is so confusing, Doritos aren't taxed by Wotsits and Monster Munch are?!?!? GUUU NOOOO!!!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

Discos are fucking horrible
all that music, and the strobe lighting...
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Not really a crisp I don't think.
I like the oniony ones, although I've not had a pringle in years.
( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

pringle woman
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Oh it's true....!
*runs off crying*
( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

*posts you an otter*

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

It isn't important.
Fuck off.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Pringles are not crisps
they are cardboard disguised as shittily-flavoured foodstuff.
Horrible fucking things.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

I like some of the flavours
*INTERESTING CONTRIBUTION*
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

I like to think of them as "snackutainment".
I don't really, I'm lying.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

I almost got to fuck the Fun House twins when I was thirteen.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

fuck off back to QOTW

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

WANK WEDNESDAY

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

No, you didn't.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

Yes I did.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

By "almost"
you mean a well planned rape that went unexecuted ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

Almost is basically a misdirectional synonym for "didn't".
Like when my wife says "You ALMOST hit that other car." And I say, "YES, SO THERE'S NO FUCKING PROBLEM THEN, IS THERE? SHUT UP WITH YOUR FUCKING BACK SEAT DRIVING."
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

And Freddy adds
"Dont cry mummy"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

If he ever does, I'll slap the shit out of the little cunt.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

Good plan
a little bloodletting is good for children, it calms them down.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

p.s.
you are a TERRIBLE parent.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

No, you didn't.
Don't make me get the Magenta Accord of Internet Justice.

Why would the twins want to shag a spectacled lump of acne with his hand constantly down the front of his trousers?
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Rohypnol
It has ALL teh charm.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

Yes I did.
I almost fucked them both with my cock.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

That's it. You MADE me do this Balders.
Time for the Accord!
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Weren't they boys?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

Until I made them MEN.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

No.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

You settled for Pat Sharp instead?
One of my life long ambitions when i was young was to do the fun cart Grand Prix
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

Dude
you really reached for the stars there.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Failed to do it as well
What does that say about me?
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

I once saw pat sharpe's hair in a shop in town

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

a e
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

Pet Sherpe's heir?

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

Yes
What of it ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

Just checking.

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

I was almost the King Of England.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

I almost jumped 500 tortoises
on my Raleigh Grifter.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

I almost conquered Mars.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

I almost got given an £80 fine for throwing a match on the floor outside my office.
£80. For a match. Bloody hell.

Have you been fined for anything?
( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

some girls said I was fine, for a 8stone weakling you must understand :(

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

From Oldham

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

yes, yes, from Oldham.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

It sounds like you've been the victim of 'Terrible Bullying'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

Mykey, Mykey, he's upset because I'm on his ignore list, what should I do?

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

I just spazzed through last nights /board and saw that
What a complete prick that fella is.
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

it's quite funny, I want to be a newer meme
GMOS: 8st 6' wklng
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

I might invite /talk to invent a new meme to replace one of my old ones.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

You have memes?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

COCK TUESDAY
no
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

never heard of it.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

I just love almost stories

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

I almost like you.

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

I almost laughed.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

I almost care
lets stop this animosity now, I can't cope with another internet enemy.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

*firm handshakes*

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

Jobe and I are internet friends
after we resolved that thing about a day of the week or something.
The details escape me.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

I forget now.
*doffs cap*
( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

You disgusting wanker.
I hope you think about that £80 next time you're about to litter.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Oh wait, I missed the almost.
You jammy cunt. £80 isn't enough for law-dodging scum like you.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

BRING BACK HANGING

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

I should at least have got community service.

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

HANGING IS CHEAPER THAN PRISON
IT COSTS THE SAME AMOUNT TO SEND SOMEONE TO ETON AS IT DOES TO SEND SOMEONE TO PRISON!!!!!!!
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

MY CHILDREN ARE GOING TO BE PAYING OFF GORDON BROWNS DEBT LONG AFTER I AM DEAD FROM DOLESCUM STEALING MY OXYGEN.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

What about the people who go to Eton and then prison?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

I will.
I've certainly learnt my lesson.
( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

I wish the sun would hurry up and post the list of litterers in my area
to teach them a lesson
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

I like throwing rubbish out of my car window in the countryside.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

Will this make you think twice about littering?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Yes.

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

Littering is inexcusable

( SuperMatt, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Unless you want to pay £80, yes.

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

No, it's just inexcusable

( SuperMatt, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

I agree.
Bad Jobe.
( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

So is raping children.
Yo hypocritical boy-touch
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

oh it's only a match.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

The cigarette butt would actually have gone in the bin just down the way.

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

Meh.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

not yet
eurgh I'm sleepy.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

Like
this chap.
( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

aww such a snoozy ottir.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

YOU DISGUSTING LITTERING SCUM

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

Fine. Let's play good news bad news. Bonus points for not being predictable without being irrelevant. Double bonus points if it involves slagging off a popular b3tan.
Good news: You have won an olympic gold medal.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

bad news: but it was still at the paralypmics.... spacker!
edit: olympic

*whistles*
(likeajackhammer, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

hubbity hubbity hubbity hubbity hubbity hubbity HUB HUB HUB and UBARE!
Hello.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Hello good sir...
how is your good self?
(likeajackhammer, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

Okay, thank you very much.
Not good. Not bad. Okay.
YOU?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

happy yesterday!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

Yeah! I know!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

Bad news: for being French

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Bad news: it's in the Paralympics 110m wheelchair hurdles.

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I have?
That's brilliant!

What's the bad news?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

You smell of poo poos.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

Dolphin sympathiser.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

FUCK YOU.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

Shove it in your fucking blowhole.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Bad news, it's actually a chocolate coin.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Good news, it's chocolate.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Bad news. It's dark chocolate.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

Good news, you give it to a lady and she wants to sex you up.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

bad news. You're piston_broke.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

the end

(likeajackhammer, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Yes.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Bad news, SickRik rubbed it on his bottom before you got it.

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

Good news: it's thursday
Bad news: I don't have a pet bear
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

It'd only rip your face off
and wear it as a hat.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Bad news :(

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

Bad news: You 'won' it by sucking off Kriss Akabusi

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

Bad News:
It's haunted by the ghost of Daley Thompson
( The Neville What what what, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

Bad News:
You have no neck to wear it from.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

some sly comment about me.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

You tiny ant.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

his bath is a thimble

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

I am weak and am from Oldham :(

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

bad news: you wake up next to Pickle Fairy
Good news: you still have your cyanide capsule
( moohalaa, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
IIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

fate worse than death. Poor gonzo...and friz

( moohalaa, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

Can I add that to my /talk book of facts?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Good news: my boyfriend's coming down tomorrow.
Bad news: then he's going away again and I have four more exams. :(
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Good news: No exotic flesh eating diseases have been contracted since I've woke up.
Bad news: I still have Captain Charisma sitting opposite me blathering inanities.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

yo ma homies I herd u like pop tarts so I put a pop in your tart so you can fffffffffffffffffffuck sake
ANYWAY, the citizens of the lower ormeau a were rioting this morning, a bit early in the year and the day for this sort of thing, particularly as the citizens of the upper ormeau were only hearing about the news while staring bleary eyed iinto their cornflakes, bowler hats on the sideboard, muttering "whazzat? who started a riot without us?"

turned out to be some downtrodden waif/dolescum* objected to being evicted and had started a bit of a ruckus, got the rest of the street and johnny Q law involved.


who's in the house?

not you love, that's for sure

What's new with you?



*delete as appropriate
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

Ding?

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 21 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

fries are done

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

Make some sense please

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

Slumdog Kabadi.
On Ice.

Your turn.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

Sister Act 3: Nun of the above.
The sisters try and get themselves elected as Mayor to prevent the demolition of their Abbey!
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

Jurassic Park 6: The Clumposaurus

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

MONKEY TENNIS

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Sexface's 'Lady-Shapes'

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

I'm going to win the current image challenge:
www.b3ta.com/board/9461148
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

ge-ni-us

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

Inner City Sumo.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

Only to discover it is Abi Tittymash.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Did you get what you asked for on your birthday
or could nobody find a Downs prepared to mash shit into your bellybutton?
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

I have nice speakers in my car which make it sound good.
I have a nice Marx Brothers box set.
My parent-in-laws tried to ruin everything by giving me a shitty WHSmith voucher but I used it to buy a magazine with some nice samples on the cover disc. I used this to make a drum loop out of star wars special effects.
I might turn it into an awesome rap song this evening.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

Make sure you mix it with Roy Jones Jr - Y'all must have forgot.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

I would make a sequal to serenity
called "Serenity II: how to shut the geeks up for a bit"
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

What is Serenity?
I want to have sex.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

Sexface can help.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Didn't you get any sex for your birthday?
How was the carvery.

Serenity is the film based on firefly, written by Joss Weadon, good if you like SciFi westerns with space hookers.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Deadwood is better.
I'm sorry, but it's true.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

I would agree that it's better than firefly,
but deadwood isn't a film, so I refuse to compare it to Serenity.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

I didn't like Serenity.
LOVED Firefly but just didn't like Serenity. It felt like an overlong episode of Firefly. And not a good one.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

Serenity is better than firefly for one reason only
and that's the agent.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

Alien Res
is his better work.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

Hmm,
you can see the beginnings of firefly in Alien Res, but although it's not that bad, it's not good.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

Better than Serenity I mean.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

AR was a crap "Alien" movie but a good scifi film, if you get my meaning

( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

No.
Shit.

Oh.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

Pasanonic has been spreading rumours about me on the board :(

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

I think I know that name.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

Oh... him!
He's funny.
He is all rawr rawr the internet is serioous business rawr.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

He's going to a bash to sort everyone out apparently,
I'm getting hints of trenchcoat about him.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

Which bash?
I want to go, now.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

The London one.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

LINKY LINK LINK LINKY LINK LINK ME LINK MY LINK

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

it's the one in the calendar with loads of people attending
IN LONDON.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

You sicken me.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

you should come along
all the best people are going.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

I'm not sure if I can.
But it could be fun.
I see loads of the piss-and-whine brigade are going.
It'd be fun to watch them try to out-whacky each other.

I shall certainly try.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

That's clearly untrue
as I'm not going
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

awww
:(

ooh, your sig. Ballroom Blitz!
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:08, archived)

YES.
I can kill you with a wink of my eye.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

Why not?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

Money and not actually thinking about it until now.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

Aww.
I kinda wish I were going now to see him act the prick
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

Eh? like what?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

he implied I wasn't very strong :(
and that I weighed 4.5 stone less than I do :(

I think it was a vague attempt to gain some popularity ground.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

He's using hardman tactics of SEEUATDABASH against JMG :D
I'm slim but meh, can take care of myself and I just shoot people down with fast wit and generally not looking like a Down's.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

I usually get out of trouble by not getting into trouble
I'm terrible when it actually gets down to a fight, I usually realise it's turned into a fight after I've tried to explain to his fist why he shouldn't be hitting me, by which point I'll be a bit bruised and grumpy.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

Typically when a bit of trouble kicks off I say
'This is your first mistake'
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

What is wrong with Panasonic anyway?

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

He he.
He also tried to get me banned by the mods due to the excessive size of my FP gif.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Did you hear?
I got naughty stepped for the first time ever.
for pushing a troll down the board.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Ha ha.
I bet he was furious.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

Sounds like a bit of a spastic

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

he's genuinely hilarious
I like the concept that I'm a 8stone weakling though, I might strive to prove him right.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

He's coming to the christmas bash to see if anyone will stand up to him.
edit: not christmas bash the one at the end of the month or something.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

he is?
FUCK YES! See you then, I'm not going to start a fight, but I'm going to shake his hand.

He's entertained me more than a lot of the pisswhinge brigade.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

*steps forward*
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

Hehe. Now that would be quite funny :)
Me & Az had a wicked conversation about you at the bash. Went like this:

"Ah CHB, fucking lovely bloke...nicest bloke I've ever met....yeah...mmm...fucking double hard cunt though ain't he? Yup, wouldn't ever get on the wrong side of him, yup, he'd snap my neck...lovely bloke though."
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

haha

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

I don't understand
Stand up to him against what?

Is he going to come and be unpleasant and see if people 'stand up to him'?
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

I must remember to bring my Honda Accord
and internet gavel of +2 justice.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

I imagine him to be like one of the old leotarded strong men you saw at circuses

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

I have no idea,
apparently we should all be very angry at him for something.
Possibly because he's angry.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

We should just hug him and tell him that he's big and strong.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

I think I'll just say hello and be polite,
like I do to everyone,
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

WHAT???
YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T EXACTLY THE SAME ON THE INTERNET AS YOU ARE IN REAL LIFE.
YOU HORRIBLE COWARD, I HAVE NOTHING BUT CONTEMPT FOR YOU.

/delines to name the impression
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

Haha!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

I usually go
"EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME, I'M LOL" And then tell people I 'love your style...'
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

As the bash at the end of the month is so /board heavy
I'm going to tell everyone I "loved that picture you did a few months ago I lol'd in the office, aw man it was great"
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

Never even talked to the bloke. meh.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

Are there any photos of his man monster
I feel an unmerited photoshop hate campaign forming.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

That would just give him justification for his rage,
it's much funnier to see him angry at absolutley nothing.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

His posts always make me think
of this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcAqR-Hs9II
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 21 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

I'd love to see some little runt get the shit beaten out of him by some of our bigger b3tans.
Lollers.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

Let's burn the cunt.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

But you look quite buff at the moment due to the Kendo Climbing.
I got a bit horny looking at your FB pics.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

haha, that's my EGOWIN picture.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

Gmos,
How expensive is climbing as a hobby?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

Depends how high you want to go.
And whether you are content with steps.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

Star Wars Episode VII - What's Left of the Empire Strikes Back Again.

( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Star Wars Episode VIII - The Bloody Minded Refusal Of The Jedi To Put Up With That Shit

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

a few good hens
with onion gravy
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

okay it's the morning. YES.
I finally celebrated my birthday with a touch of alcohol last night and am suffering from the ramifications. I also got to that stupid drunk stage where I thought it would be better if I just walked all the way home, on my own. It was stupid and scary.

Recent stupid drunk thigns? Or just stupid things? or breakfast? or whatever?
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:44, archived)

Did you get one chucked up you?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:45, archived)

Nope.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

listening to the radio this morning and hearing two children, no doubt the children of the producers, called something like Finella and Rupert-Digby or something showing off with poems they'd totally learned off by heart
( vladimir, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

It's the BBC
Of course they were the kids of the producer,and received handsome "expenses" for their appearance
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

yeh jus like mps
amirite?!?!?!?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

I wanted to reach through my radio and punch them
It was far too early for smug children.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

if it's not "twinkle twinkle little star", then i'm not interested

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:54, archived)

Twinkle twinkle licence fee
Seems like quite a cheek to me
Taking cash compulsorily
Spending it on shit TV
Twinkle twinkle BBC...
...would someone like to write the last line?
( vladimir, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

Twinkle twinkle BBC
please can a downs shit on me.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

it's a brave sentiment but I feel the stress it places on the "a" is slightly too heavy
( vladimir, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

Someone please bring back Maggie

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

You're still better than ITV

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

win

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

Scrap iplayer, leave broadband free
www.webuser.co.uk/news/282876.html
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

Was Sexface at your party?
I'd slosh your twat out with some domestos if I were you
( moohalaa, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

It wasn't a party. four people got drunk on wine and/or vodka.
it was stupid but ace.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

For some reason, the phrase' slosh your twat out'
Puts me in mind of piston broke being booed off stage with pints being chucked at him.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

Karaoke.
Always seems such a good idea at the time but invariably ends up me making a massive tit of myself. But *shrug* its still fun.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

I've not done karaoke in TOO LONG
but nobody I know really likes it or is ever drunk enough near a karaoke machine
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

i love karaoke
id do it every night i i could sustain a drunk enough state of mind
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

Hello.
Thank you for your randomburn. I might actually love it more than life itself.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

really?
it is quite a random seletion of stuff

but i only really like guitar music so its a very small selection
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

It's lovely.
Thank you.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

no worries
do you still have my headphones??
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

Piss.
Yes I do. I'll get them sent on the weekend.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

no problem
indeed
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

WHERE ARE MINE
I sent out all my CDs yesterday.
Nobody has sent me theirs yet D:
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

Did you walk far?
I always walk home on my own, the drunken banter from strangers is worth it!
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

Someone will reply here with a standard picklefairy insult
Lets wait and see
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

You probably have them on ignore.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

OMG, What are you? Some kind of Psycho?!
you are stupid and do stupid things and are WRONG ON THE INTERNET!!!11!11!!1
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:56, archived)

Pfft

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

Teehee

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

took nearly half an hour.
there were guys in a white car that kept pulling up and saying "it's a bit chilly innit luv?" and I'd just grunt "nah" then two minutes later they'd pull over just in front of me again. They scared me a little bit.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:56, archived)

Hmm that doesn't sound so good
*hugs*
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

Dance,
every...fucking...time.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:57, archived)

dancing is for awesome people. even bad dancing.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

^this

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

My dancing has a 5 metre blast radius.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

I'm about the same, but in unsteady heels.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:02, archived)

I am very stable in my heels.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

I am usually, but occasionally I'll just get a bit too dancey and then suddenly... WOBBLE!

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

Style out the wobbles as impromptu dance moves.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

I'm a 'shoes off' dancer
if I can manage it.

I'm a 'shoes off' kinda gal. My shoes are off RIGHT NOW
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

I'm a 'clothes off' dancer.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

Cor!

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

*twirls*
*clears mantle piece*
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

Blimey!

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

We've all been there.
I remember walking back to about where you live from Corporation after drinking Vodka/tequila/redbulls.

I spent the walk home reciting a massive diatribe against Forest Gump, which I argued was racist, offensive and poorly acted.

Apparently it was the most impassioned anyone has seen me on a single topic before or since.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

I usually get a bit touchy feely.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

I bet you go around goosing people
like a prat.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

Nope just touching peoples bums
like a creepy prat.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

I can picture it now
Your beedy little eyes glowing like coals in the darkness of a Yate's.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

My eyes's aren't beedy they're quite big and light grey.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

Your big eyes like saucers shining through the sweaty fog of a Flares.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

you're wanking while you type this aren't you?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

When am I ever not wanking when I reply to you?
Your sloping forehead, your sweaty palms, the layer of dew-like milm that coats your pallid flesh.

You are sex made flesh.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

that sounds like me

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

I think it's more acceptable when you do it.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

I ALWAYS do stupid things. I'm a terrible drunk. Always going to far and pretending I'm a goat to impress girls or play air guitar to hip hop songs
The last time I was drunk I was at a launch party in Shoreditch. 80% girls 20% boys, all the girls gor proper naked and started cat fighting. It was epic.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

Please invite me on one of your nights out.
You and I would be the ultimate wingman team.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

what a lovely sentiment.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

Don't be mean.
Donkey Gums and I have a unique aesthetic.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

and also a unique anesthetic.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

:/

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

You would have loved it, I got pictures on my phone, I'll show you. I had to take them, it just sounded too fucking wierd that no one would believe me so I needed proof.

I had my female singer as my wingman, she's the best one so far.

But I do believe we would probably make an epic team.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Have you been to those free gigs that Rough Trade does?
I went to the Rob-Da-Bank one.
Free beer from 7:00 then next door when it finished.
I was singing offensive Westham chants about foreskins before the night was through.
I don't even support West Ham.
If I had to have a London team it would be Millwall.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

Sounds loopy.
Me and you should deffo have a random night out some time. We always seem to end up talking about poop.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

That duck quacking thing still makes me laugh.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

I had to 'sock it'

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

I am similarly far too willing to make a knob of myself to try and entertain people
the next morning is usually a cringeathon.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

We are twins.
I just too excited like a dog with 12 chew toys.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

*back to back guitar solo*

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

You sir are missing your true calling on QOTW

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

And you are missing your true calling as something fat!!!haha

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

You are double wrong.
I am the ultimate QotW master.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

That should be a tv show
SPELLCASTING

L-I-E
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

SPELLCASTING
H-O-N-D-A-A-C-C-O-R-D
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

Just because it could never happen to you, doesn't mean it's true. I got proof, numbers and pictures my friend.
I'm DG...this sorta thing does happen to me.

A good night out for you is not getting ketchup down your tarpaulin shirt.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

Lies! These things don't happen.
EVER!
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

I heard he wears a tent as a napkin.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

His mum is the inventer of the Scottish Bun Catapult

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

my arse still tenses up every time i see you on here
you don't write
you don't call
did i mean that little to you?
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

You hurt me DEEP man...
with your big willy...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

invite me invite me, I get too drunk and try to teach myself breakdancing and things
I end up just breaking myself trying to dance.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

I wake up. flashback and then do a little cry.
We should have a launch party for Pink Cock Chocolate.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

I'm pretty stupid.
I went swimming last night, I enjoyed it.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

A while ago I decided in my inebriated state to climb up a wall and walk along the top... that was a 12 ft fall I could've done without.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

LOL SPASTIC
I am climbing again this weekend.
In Dorset! What the fuck am I going to climb in Dorset?
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

some decent slabby multipitch sea cliffs
or possibly some sport limestone, enjoy yourself :D
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

You
8 stone weakling!
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

I'm 12.5 stone and from Rochdale
he's just upset I don't like his tracing.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

What the fuck.
No friend of mine is from Oldham.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

Doc Brown is actually Mary McFly from the future.
Discuss amongst yourselves.
( The Angel Frog, Thu 21 May 2009, 5:08, archived)

fuck off

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 5:14, archived)

I just blew your mind
didn't I
( The Angel Frog, Thu 21 May 2009, 5:20, archived)

I don't know who Mary McFly is.
Doc doesn't know who Biff is, Doc is insistant on Marty not seeing HIS former self, they have different names, Marty isn't a scientist, Doc's shit on a Hoverboard and Marty actually dies in the alternate ending to BTTF 3, which would kill Doc but it doesn't.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 5:25, archived)

Well dur!
Marty McFly is obviously Doc Brown's dog Einstein from the future.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

No.
You blew your chances of sex with sexface.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:28, archived)

He should stick his cock in the nearest knothole in a tree whilst shouting 'PLEASE LOOK AT ME' to simulate the experience.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:29, archived)

thats knot very nice thought to think of is it now?

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:33, archived)

you know what's really weird?
 
I just ran a new PHP script and it fucking worked first time

that never ever happens, I always make at least one stupid obvious mistake in my coding
( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 21 May 2009, 5:51, archived)

To be fair , all it does do is this
10 print " I am a twunt";
20 goto 10
run
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 6:59, archived)

heh
a good point

the form handling routines are decidedly lacking in elephant penis
( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:22, archived)

now you know where you had gone right
not enough animal porn.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:27, archived)

it's not bestiality if it's just pictures of animals doin' it
 
at least, that's what I told the court
( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:30, archived)

yeah they woul dhave fallen for it
had you not been a zoo keeper
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:32, archived)

Zoo keepers are allowed to fuck the animals
as long as Johnny Morris is providing them with comedy voices.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:35, archived)

noooo
another childhood memory soiled!
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:37, archived)

Has anyone informed Riverghost of this?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:39, archived)

he lacks the gentle hand of a zookeeper
 
his urges are far more violent
driven by lust for power and degradation
and that is why riverghost rapes animals
( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 21 May 2009, 7:58, archived)

Riverghost gets Pasanonic to beat up lions before he knobs them
as he's the internet's top hardman.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

I <3 JMG

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

you may be right, or not no offence, i'm going fishing today, on a boat on the sea, i don't even eat fish, i fear my policy of catch and release will get me no friends, or not, no offence
great forum
( mongychops, Thu 21 May 2009, 6:28, archived)

I'm going fisting
 
I expect my policy of catch and release will make me some great new chums
( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 21 May 2009, 6:54, archived)

Who is Mary McFly?

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

Marty McFly's granddaughter.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 21 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

I fucking HATE London
I've seen a proper good job, decent pay, not bad hours, with animals too. But about 2 hours from where I live and 9 hour days anyway :( Have to sign on again.

How're you?
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

HA!
/Fists on hips
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

If I do sign on, they won't pay me til the end of June anyway
So I'm buggered.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:03, archived)

I've never signed on, myself.
Don't tell anyone.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 2:05, archived)

Like fuck I believe that!

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:05, archived)

It's true.
Don't tell Aberdeen.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

My lips are sealed

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

If it's a job you want, would you consider moving for it?

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

we dont want her in london.

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:10, archived)

Tough tits, I'm in Chiswick
With a pool and everything.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:14, archived)

i'll bet you leave a ring too..

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:38, archived)

I've just moved to Chiswick
W4. SW10 is mileage.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:13, archived)

then start looking in a closer radius to your house
if you're not prepared to commute.
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 21 May 2009, 2:33, archived)

That's not really much.
Plenty of people commute from Oxford or wherever.

If you think it's ace why not just bite the bullet and get yourself a season ticket.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 3:48, archived)

it's okay really
www.thefuckingweather.com/?zipcode=london&CELSIUS=yes
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 21 May 2009, 2:32, archived)

EVERYBODY SHUT UP.
ME + GMoS = Competition win.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

I hadn't said anything!
I just got here!

This is dreadful bullying, I've a good mind to email the mods.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:50, archived)

I've got you on block.
I'll gaz you about it later.


I have NO idea what ANY of this means.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:51, archived)

JMG.
What's the current feeling amongst the internet?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 0:57, archived)

I like things

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:02, archived)

You're not on my randomburn list hahaha.
Although if you GAZ me your address, I'll make an extra
( WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

Done
Please don't send me the AIDS.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

jade, jordan, peter and expenses.
also, meh! but i think masturbation might be in there somewhere! not that i read the internet, i try and stick to the guardian although the nipple count is massively under quota, i know, left wing commie etc!!
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:03, archived)

I have manflu JMG
I'm going through tissues like I don't know what.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:06, archived)

Feel better. Punch some ugly people.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

Right then, I'll be on my way to McDonalds.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

how's your wrist???
i have shares in kleenex and a right arm like schwarznegger!
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

A common sight here on /talk

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:16, archived)

frustration
cannot find the songs I want and cannot figure out what to do at the weekend
argh
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:06, archived)

Dance your blues away.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

excellent suggestion!
Thanks, JMG.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

The world would be a much better place if so many folk weren't so bloody lazy.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

Needs more JMG rule.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

JMG, I just drunk a whole bunch of coffee.

( Ttssattsr, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:45, archived)

I trust you'll still be here, come tomorrow afternoon.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

I'll be e-hanging out all night.

( Ttssattsr, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

how many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb???

( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
Yeah, I Googled it.

Next.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

a fish

( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 0:58, archived)

because one of it's legs is both the same.

( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 0:59, archived)

Righto.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:59, archived)

Is that the answer, or the next subject?

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:59, archived)

which ever is less preferable, and more insane or less.

( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:01, archived)

You're not a regular in disguise, are you?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

This
Too lolwhacky to be true?
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:38, archived)

very good answer
david seamans third antelope is for catching gerbils, and that was in agreement.
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:00, archived)

FUCKING BASTARD BOLLOCKS
I want to break lots of things RIGHT NOW. But that would be silly. I thought I'd come here and TELL THE INTERNET that I'm fucked off with my mp3 player being a fucking bollocks.

And I've got silver hands from where I've smudged my writing on my randomburn inlays. Balls.

Make things better for me please.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

I've had wine.
You should have wine, and a walk around the block.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

I've had beer
and grief from technology and stationary
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:22, archived)

<s>a</s> e
/Grief from Neptune.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

Yeah well
I'm angry, I'm allowed a mis spelling here and there.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

The angriness will subside with a walk around the block.
Why does nobody ever listen to me?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

I'm in my pyjamas and slippers.
This is not suitable outdoors attire unless you're a mental patient.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

might be worth getting dressed
to stamp around the block, unless it's raining over there.
maybe get your own back on the mp3 player by pricing up its replacement online?
(and metallic ink's never a good idea in my books - first it gets on my hands, then it ends up on my face when I lean on my hands)
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

But metallic ink is all futuristic and robotty

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

my face
certainly looked a touch robotty afterwards :P
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

*does robot movements*

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

There are no more humans
Finally, robotic beings rule the world
The humans are dead
The humans are dead
We used poisonous gases
And we poisoned their asses
The humans are dead (he's right they are dead)
The humans are dead (look at that one it's dead)
It had to be done (I'll just confirm that they're dead)
So that we could have fun (affirmative, I poked one, it was dead)
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

I *heart* FoTC

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

Me too! I have the first couple of episodes of series 2 on sky + to watch at some point

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

Oh, I'll best stop doing this.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

Obviously it doesn't apply to you

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

*continues doing this*

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

Apparently my old man arrested a bloke wandering around in his pyjamas
ranting, raving, and holding aloft a manky bathroom towel.

When apprehended, he bawled "I KNOW! I KNOW THE WAY! THE SPITAL PROPE HAS SHOWN ME THE WAY!" and he brandished the stained and threadbare towel, refusing to yield, until he was slammed over the bonnet of the car, handcuffed, and carted off for a medical.

Whilst there, the doctors wrenched away the towel from his fingers. The man sobbed, gnashed his teeth, threw a fit, and had to be sedated, for fear that he would be seperated from his Spital Prope. During his peaceful slumber, the coppers examined the towel and saw two worn holes where "Ho" and "rty" would have sandwiched the sacred "spital Prope" moniker inked in clear type across the top edge.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

feel free to copy this all over /qotw at a suitable time.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

pffft
I still have silver balls for you
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

you mean you shove steel love eggs up your chuff because I arouse you so

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

That too
if you like
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

i don't believe a word of this
on the grounds that it's too funny to be true
( spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

This, many times over
A bit of fresh air and burnt energy, you'll be sound.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

why not take a rifle and really show those mp3 player makers what for

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

I might just do that

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

I'm using COMPUTERS to make my inlays.

Less Silverage.

p.s. I'm making 10 copies and I'm planning on sending you a copy for being so lovely and organising everything. WARNING: CONTAINS STINA NORDENSTAM
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

I like to handwrite things.
It's fun because people can't read my writing.

Edit: from earlier www.b3ta.com/talk/6164027

And thanks :D
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:22, archived)

Can I just make a public request for everyone to MAKE IT OBVIOUS WHO THE SENDER IS.

Just receiving an anonymous CD with no tracklisting is Poo.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

HELLO GORGEOUS
I might just do my playlist now.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

hm, not bad. well done, itunes.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

YAY.
Mine is 18 random Elbow tracks :p
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

haha
:)

I've got a nice mix, I think. I added two that I just like at the end, to make up space.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

I've not even burnt my CDs yet. I shall do so at the weekend.
I'm going to provide gifts for my recipients. One "large" gift and a few little things.
( WHARRGARBL, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:22, archived)

Daww
you're a sweetie
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

It's essentially an apology for the dire music :D

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

I'm sending sweets with mine

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

Don't forget your organiser

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

*taps nose*
*clicky fingers*
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

Sweets!?
You're making my CD look like shit, now :(
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

Haha!
I'm sending plectrums, obscene doodles and anything else that takes my fancy.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

I'm sending sweets, stationery and the odd PC game/DVD/Book

( WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:28, archived)

Oooh!
I hope I'm on your list!
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:03, archived)

Binky put sweets, pencils and a pencil sharpener in with mine last year. It were cracking.
I had to take all the exciting extras out of mine because the scary lady at the Ufficio Postale told me 'thick packages DO NOT go to England'.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

She sounds rubbish.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

I got one from cr3
I'm certain he sent me half his office stationery, and I think he might have even sent a CD too.
( lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:23, archived)

I could email you a pic of my knackers if that helps?
Or you could watch Toy Dolls on youtube
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:22, archived)

No thanks.
No grandad scroats for me.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

Lesbian

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

You want me

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

Less than you want me

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

Whatever, Sean

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

pffft

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

AND YOU CAN FUCK OFF AN' ALL

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:42, archived)

CUNT

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:42, archived)

i'm on holiday
it's pretty good
( scott,, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

Good man yourself

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

Ooh! That reminds me, I need to get some CD jewel cases before i can send mine

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

Go and buy some jewel cases
/helpful
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

<s>CD jewel cases</s> envelopes.
Come on now. You're meant to be northern.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

Ha!

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

Yeah.
THANKS
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

You're fucking welcome.
Cunt.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

I'll not pull the plug out and you can have second go in my bath water if you like?
I went to Lush today and bought fragrant treats.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

No thanks lady.
As I'm sure it's lovely and fragrant, just no.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

Just pop your 'jamas on and get FF to read you a story and stroke your hair.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

He's in bed already.
I've had to restore my bastard ipod
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

ouch.
/had nasty nasty itunes decide to scrub 32 gig of nicely organised and playlisted musics. all backed up, but the id3 tags were all over the shop :(
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Fuggeddabowdit.
Come snuggle with me. My boyfriend's off having fun and I'm doing stupid finals stupid revision and stupid stupid stupids.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

You're a bit far away, love.
And I'm in my pyjamas now... But thanks for the thought :)

*snuggles and loves*
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

You should have gone for the diplomatic option
Explaining to your mp3 player how selfish it is in the sober morning light is a far more rational and mature approach
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

Probably
but anger and rage is much more fun
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

Great banter.
I'm going to bed. Good night folks.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

g'night neptune
*tucks in*
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

i just heard a car bomb went off in bagdad killing lots of people
nothing good about that..
but when they said it occurred in a mainly shi'ite area.. i had to laugh
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 20 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

I failed to find three caches I was looking for.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

cor, I haven't done that for a while
I found 2/3 last time
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

I knew the locations, I just failed to locate the tiny buggers.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

blimey. I've not been out geocaching in years.
I think it might be time to line some up - looks like there are now more caches in my local area than there used to be in the entire county :D
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

I'm annoying Karl on Facebook.
I should be in bed. I cannot be fucking bothered with work anymore.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

have you not Officially Resigned yet?
I always lose all interest after I've resigned, it's like I can't even be arsed pretending to care any more
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

rofl
resigned ejaculated
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

hello sexy
get a grip, there's a good internet user
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

randomburn inlays.

i'm a wee bit tiddly. and i'm going to design my randomburn covers tomorrow if the DEDICATED RANDOMBURN LAPTOP will do as it's told

that's right, the DEDICATED RANDOMBURN LAPTOP. thrilling stuff
( spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

your life must be a non-stop rollercoaster ride of excitement!

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

ooohhh yes!!!
next stop the wild laptop ride at chessington world of adventures!
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 0:41, archived)

p.s. i am aware that i am on talk and prolly going to get flamed because i don't pop by often
therefore have an otter playong with a stone
www.pbase.com/nickviv/magicmoments
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 0:44, archived)

i got dumped by my girlfriend then had to work a fucking 13 hour day,
in the rain on a building site. shifted 20 tonnes of stone with a shovel and a wheel barrow. Then got in a car crash on the way back. wish it wasn't true but it was.
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 0:35, archived)

any way have this for emergency cheer up material
how about a cup of kitten?
www.dailypets.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/kittens-cups.jpg
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 0:38, archived)

Good day then

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

hmmmm.
one of the better ones./sarcasm blog
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 0:51, archived)

At least you weren't subjected to the awful torture of having to wite a dissertation or complete some exams you knew you had to do several years in advance.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 1:03, archived)

been there, had to do it with maths and media and communicaions
hope it goes well for you!
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Thu 21 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

Some cunt has ironed my new printed shirt.
Those bastards, doing my ironing.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

How do you get the urge to stab people out of your system, without actually stabbing them?
I'm already working my way through being very petulant.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:18, archived)

Shoot them.

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

Rape them

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

I'm not raping males.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

You dreadful sexist.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

I'm an equal-opportunities rapist
Well, except for when it comes to spastics and the like.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

And then you're straight in there.
It's the leg braces isn't it?
And the drool.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

I invented the 'wheelchair position'

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

I'm all for affirmative action rapeage.
Minority and deprived groups to the front of the queue!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:28, archived)

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

ninja

( jenpots, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

ninja?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

I went out and ninja'd
stopped me from stabbing people
( jenpots, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

That's not an immediate solution.
I don't think there's dojos open at this time of night.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

well
I used to do my forms at home. But that doesn't help you either.
( jenpots, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

/talk's "Special Time" dojo is ALWAYS open MoT-san.
Bring your own smoke bombs.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

Grow up.

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

pretty much this

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

Yeah, supress your anger so you go mental 20 years from now.
That'll fix it.
( Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

are you suggesting that all impulses should be acted on to prevent later mental illness? or not, no offence
yeah
( mongychops, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

Not acted on, just not ignored, pushed down and allowed to boil away.

( Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

no offence but i would presume that you are in control of your own emotions not other people, how you react is an internal feeling not controlled by others actions, no offence
crazy times
( mongychops, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

good banter

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

Growing up means not getting so stupidly angry in the first place that you see violence as an option
A much more healthy attitude is a mild tut-tutting under your breath, tempered with an inner glow of knowing you're not as far down the evolutionary ladder as whatever is the cause of your mild ire.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

It's that kind of attitude that got Poland invaded in the first place.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

Yes, because violence was actually my first option.
Of course I wasn't just saying it to show that I was pissed off.

A thread with

"How do you get the urge to stab people out of your system, without actually tutting under your breath?
I'm already working my way through being very petulant."

Wouldn't quite have been the same.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:36, archived)

Considering the eye-for-an-eye tactic you used that caused this whole debacle
you've got growing up to do, stab-happy or not.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:46, archived)

I've mentioned below that the diplomatic route has been attempted.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:49, archived)

What? Turning your speakers up so you can't hear his music and then both Sir Grumpsaloting around the house passive aggressively at each other?
Is this the house of whiney teenage tearaways?
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

You're still the one who turned it into a war.
Pointing out the next day in the cold sober light that they're being selfish is far more rational than playing petty oneupmanship
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

Woah there!
Are you genuinely suggesting that not stabbing your housemate because he listens to Green Day will result in having to do time in a metal institution in later life because of the bottled up anger?

I would suggest that the stabbity-stab-stab route will get you locked up much faster.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:54, archived)

Find a suitable inanimate object and beat the shit out of it.

( Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

^this

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

Acknowledge that it's your fault for having such negative feelings in the first place.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

I would if it was.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

And do something about your unwarranted self-importance too.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

That's for me and my counselor to discuss.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

Got to go guys
I can hear the irony bell ringing downstairs ;)
( WormuIus, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

I was tempted by that reply,
but I didn't want to cause an endless pot/kettle loop.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

The incomprehension siren appears to be louder over here.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

By bludgeoning them instead.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

Go for a run.
If they have mortally offended, write a frank and candid letter listing exactly why you think they are a fuckwit and don't send it. It is quite cathartic.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

I'm sticking with petulance for the time being.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

Petulant is a good look.
Dare we ask who/what has upset you?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

There's a noise issue in the house.
Apparently it's ok for one person to sing full volume and have their really tinny speakers on loud, but it's not ok for me to have my music on at a volume to drown it out because I have speakers that can produce bass.

Yes, I did try the diplomatic route first.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

I too have suffered at the hands of twatty, inconsiderate housemates.
This is why I live on my own.

Buy some noise canceling headphones perhaps?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

I have some,
I use them at times. I don't want to use them whenever I'm in my room.

He's not a twat, I like him and we get on, he just listens to shit music at shit volumes and sings along shit.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

take up learning the violin.
it takes a long long time to get to the not-painful-to-listeners stage, and stating to him that you "really think you are getting good" might lead to some sort of compromise amazingly quickly.
hunt ebay or the local markets for as cheap a violin as possible.
tuning it's optional...
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

A nice cup of tea and a sit down.
Or a nice walk around the block.

Or loading up GTA and mindlessly just twatting people until I get arrested
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

and a wank

( lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

GTA violence is good.
Running someone over then stabbing a hooker in the face always puts me in a good mood.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

I like arm wrestling

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

Grrr!
Manly.

Fancy a wrestle-off?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

i meant in GTA :S

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:49, archived)

...without stabbing them? You mean you don't have to?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

I've heard the police frown upon such things,
although quite what Sting has to do with my home life I'm not sure.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

YOU!
My bird wants to talk to you about something, probably periods or ponies, I couldn't be arsed to find out. Can she call you tomorrow or something? I realise this would have made a better gaz but I've had a drink.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

Of course she can :)
I'll be about - ring on the landline as my mobile signal is gayer than malchick.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:08, archived)

CALM DOWN

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:54, archived)

Yeah, I've done that now.
I did what I smoker would do. I went outside for a smoke. Only I don't smoke, so I just went outside.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

Pretty serious case of polterwang, right here.
gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/assets_c/2009/05/87442653-thumb-420x698.jpg
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:09, archived)

Are you sure it's polterwang, and not just wang?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

Yes.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:12, archived)

Oh LiLo. You make it very hard for me to love you as much as I do, sometimes.
gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/assets_c/2009/05/L_Lohan_008-thumb-420x549.jpg
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:12, archived)

I stab melons.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

Rise above it.
Be the pebble in the stream - let it flow around you, all the time knowing that you're hard as fuck.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

Come on then.
The Football.

Or whatever it is you've had on the TV tonight.
( WHARRGARBL, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:16, archived)

fucking football again!
/jenpots moan
( jenpots, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:17, archived)

You're meant to kick it, not fuck it.

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:18, archived)

I'm not sorry Karl,
you've done several football threads today.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

I've done 2.

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

Ok,
but my point still stands.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 20 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

I don't own a tv
Well, not quite true. I don't have a tv connected to an ariel.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

The ladyfriend said about half an hour ago that "gin is good for you."
What's the best bit of bollocks that you'd love to believe?
( Malchick, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:12, archived)

You are such a big boy!
Honest
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:14, archived)

It IS good for you. It's got herbs in. It's practically medicine.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 20 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

You really are Nanny Ogg :)
WHEN AM I GOING TO SEE YOU?
( Malchick, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

SOON.
I don't know. We should arrange a trip to Cov.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 20 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

F.A.C.T.

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

I AM GOING TO SEE YOU NEXT WEEK

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 20 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

Only possibly.
It is perilously close to my 1st exam.

I would like to pop down for an hour or two though, scheduled revision break and all that.

I would love to see you though, you bundle of gorgeousness.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

I totally agree.
My grandmother drank two large gins every evening. She carried on until she was 91!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

It was obviously the gin that made her have such a long life

( magnum, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:27, archived)

It was actually glasses of virile man spunk from the finest athletes.

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

Possibly. Linford's finest.
I think if the story is true she was the equivalent of an 'it' girl back in her day.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:31, archived)

That and she married a rich older man,
never worked and had very little stress in her life!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

My Gran lived to 90 odd,
despite not drinking gin and having to work hard all her life.
Now I don't know what to believe.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:32, archived)

That some people, regardless of circumstances, can live until they're 90?

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

Don't be stupid.
The papers keep telling me if I do the wrong things I'll die.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:36, archived)

If it is anything other than the Daily Mail ignore it.
It is the only paper that tells the truth.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

Yeah, we all know immigrants are the only real threat to our health.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

True
The Greeks invented AIDS

www.b3ta.com/talk/6163345
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:43, archived)

i generally carry on drinking
until i'm 90°
( spacefish bong!, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

That VOLTAN will return.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

VOLTAN was ace
I agree to this post
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

With his shiny metal claws.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 21:30, archived)

YAY
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

That's what I said.

( Malchick, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:17, archived)

Yeah but you're prettier than me.
Or something...
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

So's your face.

( Malchick, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

Probably the seminiferous tubules.
But I've been lied to before.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

"you're not fat, you're big boned".

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

I'd much rather be fat than big boned.

( Malchick, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

Hair are you aerials

( WormuIus, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

look at phil mitchell
no harmony at all
( spacefish bong!, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:20, archived)

I thought you were calling BlueStar Phil Mitchell for a moment.
Although I reckon she could 'ave 'im.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

Handy if you're out of washing powder.

( Malchick, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

every time i see the ariel next to the bold in a supermarket
i do a fonty snort
( spacefish bong!, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

Are you some sort of Comic Sans?

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

it's not the size that counts
it's that muppet vampire over there
( spacefish bong!, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

*grins*
That's ace.
Have a click sir!
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

:)
thank you!
( spacefish bong!, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:41, archived)

'you're lovely the way you are'

( jenpots, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

Oh Jenpots, SADDEST of SAD FACES.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

panda
How's your holiday?
( jenpots, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

*Sympathy Panda*
*Real Panda*

It's going great thanks, but I've got to go OFFLINE now, I'll catch ya' on the flip side =)
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:30, archived)

When a girl says it's a good size
she doesn't mean it's small
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

harsh

( WormuIus, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

Father Christmas
I'm still psychologically scarred that he doesn't exist.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

Doesn't exist? PSHAW! Yeah right,
It'll be a lump of coal for you this christmas.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 21:30, archived)

It is all I ever get.
I'm a bad boy.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:37, archived)

Penguin bars were named 'Penguin' bars
because they were the energy snack taken on the first mission to Antarctica
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

now that's a fact i'm going to choose to believe
until it's true
( spacefish bong!, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

This is TRUE though.
The glycerine in them is made from rendered down penguins rather than cows too.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

Also, when you draw a face on a Smint box
it actually becomes alive.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

That's complete tosh.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

Also, there exists a species of aquatic bees.

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

That one might be true.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 21:31, archived)

I love your brain.
It's also a fact that a day's worth can be messured by how many dogs you see.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:33, archived)

that could explain why work days are generally
a lot worse than days spent down the park in the sunshine.
fact proven. nice one, gonz
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Wed 20 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

I'm going to tell all my friends this.
With a really straight face so they all believe me. It would be an awesome fact if it was true.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

Coco Pops contain 100mg Co-codamol per serving

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

They used to contain cocaine.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

all vows taken when you get married, forum banter, no offence i'm sure many people live to their vows, no offence
great forum
( mongychops, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

if you believe something hard enough
you can actually change reality so that it's true
( spacefish bong!, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:27, archived)

I don't believe you.
And I don't believe you so hard, that it's now not true.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

Jay Kay makes his own jam
www.b3ta.com/talk/5828398
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

beer is good for your teeth

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:35, archived)