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I just found this:
Ever so slightly nsfw

What's the BEST activity you can think of?
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:42, archived)
RAADIOACTIVTY

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:44, archived)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:44, archived)
"Optional extra : FRUIT FLANGE"
:S
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:45, archived)
puddle stamping with my girls

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:45, archived)

puddle kitten
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 19:03, archived)
you're a nasty nasty boy

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:05, archived)
I just hate cats.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 19:05, archived)
they don't do owt
well my don't. Just sit around all day, then bugger off out for a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:07, archived)
They should be stopped.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 19:08, archived)
doing what though?
They're only plotting your downfall.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:09, archived)
Exactly.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 19:11, archived)
They're pretty harmless.
Although they do shed fur all over the place, and one pissed on my suit bag.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:10, archived)
our dog's hair gets everywhere.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:13, archived)
I'm hoping to convert my girlfriend to hamsters.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:15, archived)
+in

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:16, archived)
Either way, I'm not fussy.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:23, archived)
ape fights

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:45, archived)
i don't mean apes fighting each other in wrestling rings or that
i mean apes dressed in period costume, having gentlemanly duels in front of a roaring fire in order to with the heart of an apette of good character
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:19, archived)
rollerboard serfing.

(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:45, archived)
Snogging.
No question.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:45, archived)
I have a feeling that would put me off my food.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:46, archived)
Gay.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:12, archived)
I can't concentrate on steak when there's boobies around.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:16, archived)
Drunken dancing

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:46, archived)
Summer football and icy beers
Nothing beats that
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:47, archived)
Lazy morning snuggles

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:47, archived)
kicking cripples off a cliff
while eating a nice big cream cake nyom nom nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:47, archived)
Oi!

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:48, archived)
Girls are excited about seeing you and yours.

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:49, archived)
:) As are we about seeing them
I'm hoping my two don't make me blush by going on about seeing C&F while we are visiting the surro-family first.
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:51, archived)
you know they will
Children have impeccable timing.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:54, archived)
fine then, I'll have cheesecake instead

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:05, archived)
I have a chocolate one of those setting in the fridge at the moment.

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:19, archived)
Nice multi-tasking.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:49, archived)
You're (briefly) increasing their mobility
So ultimately you're doing a good thing
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:52, archived)
Hello.
Sorry, I wandered off last night. Yeah, I have Officially Resigned. Can't be fucked with it at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:16, archived)
working is an over-rated pastime anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:19, archived)
I wish I could not do it.
I wonder how you go about being a Professional Depressive.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:21, archived)
Having a steak meal followed by a lapdance at Auschwitz

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:55, archived)
Punching kittens in the face until all domestic cats have been culled.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 19:02, archived)
cheerful fellow.

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:04, archived)
What?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 19:06, archived)
Having a laugh with my little girl.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:13, archived)
GAY

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:15, archived)
Maybe sleeping in close second place.
eating is obviously third.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:15, archived)
nah
after fun times with the children, it is always snogging.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:17, archived)
You may want to rephrase that...

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:18, archived)
nah
;o)
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:19, archived)
*shocked*

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:20, archived)
I've forgotten how.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:25, archived)
Getting gayer by the second...

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:17, archived)
I always suspected

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:18, archived)
Because of sleeping and eating?

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:25, archived)
Nah, just because you are gay
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:26, archived)
That makes sense.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:27, archived)
Is that an admission?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:29, archived)
No. >:(

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:32, archived)
Yeh yeh

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:41, archived)
Sunday mornings in bed with my man, a ton of newspapers, breakfast, coffee and snuggles.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 21 May 2009, 19:22, archived)
Not going to fucking work.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:26, archived)
I hope this little cunt gets eaten:
swimatyourownrisk.com/2009/03/18/thats-a-lot-of-bull/
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 19:34, archived)
Who enjoys Mario Kart on here?
I've just put it in the wii.
Never played it online. Etc.


/edit
It's telling me BADGER is online.
How I do connect and ultimately crush him?
OH INTERNET! Why can't you help me.



I just finished a place behind Badger.
This game is a farce.

I FINISHED AHEAD OF BADGER! HE'S SO SHIT!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:01, archived)
I've played it once on my brother's Wii.
It's alright.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:01, archived)
It's too fiddly, for me.
I would enjoy MarioKart as a child and all, this seems a bit too complicated.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:02, archived)
What "hold button, steer, sometimes press other button"

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:05, archived)
Needs more JUMPING and LASERS.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:06, archived)
And NAZIS FROM SPACE

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:06, archived)
If I were the bullying online type, I'd suggest you have fat fingers

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:44, archived)
This should be adopted for you, JMG
www.b3ta.com/links/JONATHAN_FROM_SPOTIFY
(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:02, archived)
Lordy!!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:03, archived)
I'm playing Swat 4 at the moment
Instead of helping my teammates capture terrorists, I taze them and blow their kneecaps off.

I'm such a team player.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:02, archived)
That how I'd spoil everything, too.
Excellent work in the field, there.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:03, archived)
It's even funnier when the yanks get on the mic and start shouting at me
"Hey man I'm on yout tea-OH WHAT THE FUCK SOMEONE BAN THIS GUY HE'S SHOOTING ME IN THE FACE"

Then I start burping into the mic and start speaking with a Bristol accent.

This seems better when you're drunk.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:06, archived)
I used to love cheating playing rainbow 6 on the N64 by going the wrong way and just blating everyone in the back of the head as they were facing the wrong way.
GTA4 is my current head blating game with the double barrel, sooo gross :)
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:06, archived)
Haha!
Before I changed my IP I was banned from a lot of Unreal Tournament servers as well. I always start out playing normally but the desire for mischief soon takes over.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:09, archived)
I know it's the shittest thing EVER but:
getting a HUGE sniper rifle, crawling and swimming for miles and then sniping the main base is great fun in army games. Especially when they come looking for you :D

BF2 I would spend ages doing this :)
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:11, archived)
I've been thinking of getting hold of that for ages
I'm not sure why I find spawnkilling so funny, but I do.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:12, archived)
It's funny when they are MILES away, with their squad, one goes down and 5 others start bunny hopping and diving about as they haven't got a clue what just happened :D

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:14, archived)
Haha! Good work, there
I'll see if I can find a torrent of the thing tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:26, archived)
I'm not a fan of the console experience
but I did once play super mario in the late 80s or early 90s. And I always liked driving games in the arcades as a yoof even though I was a heavy-footed clot and consequently shit at them. So ... I can imagine I might like it if I were ever to play it. In the right company. Offline company.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:06, archived)
I bet you've got a Wii and play with all four controllers down your trousers, tucked into your pants.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:08, archived)
I play with my weewee quite regularly.
Just to make sure it's in tip top working order.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:09, archived)
Make sure you wear your safety wrist strap otherwise you might smash your television.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:12, archived)
I've got mariokart on the DS

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:14, archived)
I keep reading that as meerkat.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:30, archived)
Oh JMG :(

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:22, archived)
HA HA HAAA!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:30, archived)
He was winning every game before you came online.
You've RUINED his online experience.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:38, archived)
this is internet bullying of the worst kind

(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:33, archived)
I love Mario Kart on Wii
I borrowed my friends Wii and didn't want to give it back
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:31, archived)
Online was a bit weird though,
a lot of overzealous competitors.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:35, archived)
i've got it on the wii
i can help
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:32, archived)
i once did so well on it mario came round my house to congratulate me

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:41, archived)
I play it
but I've yet to work out how to play it online.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:32, archived)
In 24 hours I went from poor, no prospects, potentially homeless and £12 in the bank
To £700 richer (from what I was owed in tax, no less) and a job interview tomorrow. Woo!

How're you? What good has happened to you today?
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:54, archived)
Did you go for that job that was a little bit of a commute away?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:55, archived)
Yep
TFL was an utter liar, told me it'd take 2 hours to get there. When it is in fact 20 minutes. Barely an excuse, but I don't know London so well.

She rang me up and almost demanded I come to an interview.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:56, archived)
Cool, What's it doing?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:57, archived)
Dog grooming
My sort of job, being jeans, tshirt and running around
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:58, archived)
Dog Mohawks on a Pug.
I saw that when an ex worked at the Dog's Trust. It was a right retarded looking thing. sooo cool :)
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:00, archived)
:D
This place offers 'pedicures' instead of 'nail clipping'.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:01, archived)
I'm JMG
I've had a mainly excellent day.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:55, archived)
It's payday tomorrow, so I'm closer to having funds than I was earlier.
That'll do me.

edit: actually, if we don't count today

my mortgage payments have just gone down £300 a month.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:55, archived)
ME TOO! WOOOOO!!
Then holiday :D Amsterdam's finest crops will be floating in my system in under 24 hours :D
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:58, archived)
You're such a shitty biscuit. TAKE ME WITH YOU. I love the dam.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:58, archived)
Ner Ner NER :D

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:02, archived)
Rotterdam is where it's at.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:13, archived)
Oh, I've just been there
It was lovely. Some coffee shops are asking for a Dutch passport though.

If you're taking a lady, then sex at night in the Vondelpark is now legal there.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:59, archived)
A dutch passport? Why?
Surely most of their trade is foreigners.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:01, archived)
Yep
A bloke in one of the places said it was something to do with 'culture'. I didn't understand him much.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:02, archived)
Maybe you just looked German.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:07, archived)
Oh the irony of Maastricht being in the Netherlands.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:01, archived)
Still poor and without prospects, but an enriched knowledge of French Renaissance evangelical hesuchism.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:56, archived)
I signed a new contract on my flat,
and found my rent has gone down by £75 a month. I may spend the difference on beer.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:56, archived)
*Need to find somewhere to spend spare money fives*

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:57, archived)
Or save up for a holiday

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:57, archived)
I'll save up to drink beer on holiday.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:58, archived)
I got my holiday credit card bill yesterday and it wasn't as awful as I feared.
I'll do something about that at the weekend I'm sure.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:56, archived)
I might have a can of Coke and some popcorn later.

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:56, archived)
I can I can't?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:58, archived)
Fought some cows.
Broke into a national trust park.
Played hide and seek in cars.
Going on a date in an hour.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:56, archived)
How do you break into a national park?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:57, archived)
Well,
we climbed over a big wall into it not knowing what it was.
Then had to walk through the entrance.

wait..just realised, I meant national TRUST place, not a national park.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:59, archived)
Remember: if you don't fuck on the first date
Then you're probably not right for each other.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:58, archived)
Oh dear.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:59, archived)
What?

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:00, archived)
It's like, probably the wrost advice.
I've found the one's I take my time with have always been the best, ones' i've been silly with are just nightmares.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:09, archived)
I am of the opinion that it doesn't matter
as long as you are comfortable with the decision.

I do think that what Sammi said is utter bollocks though. Which is surprising, as she is normally so wise and clever and intelligent.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 21 May 2009, 18:24, archived)
Well,
considering this is the *third* date.....
She's staying over though.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:01, archived)
Oops, will you tell my husband or shall I?

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:04, archived)
another daily struggle with that thing we call life

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:58, archived)
still no word back from the council,
but I might have a month's worth of other work at some point soon.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:07, archived)
I have spent a fortune on clothing and nice food

(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:34, archived)
Why do spammers forge emails so they look like they're being sent from the recipient's address?
Do they really believe anyone will think "Online herbal viagra sounds a bit dodgy, but it's from me, and I trust me"?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:37, archived)
JMG etc.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:38, archived)
Terribly sorry, old chap.
I'd delete the thread but that would even more attention seekingish.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:39, archived)
If you wear a Handsome Gav mask and discuss the midfield for Sunday you could come along.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:40, archived)
Today JMG, I have been making online Marikart better.
I'm strictly mid-ranking :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:43, archived)
YOU STILL haven't accepted my friend request thing I don't understand.
OH THE WII! Why must you be so difficult?!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:44, archived)
Actually, if you could send me a picture of Handsome Gav we could put it beside our candidate's name on the ballot papers.
Might pick up the female vote a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:44, archived)
I'm going to SPOIL my ballot paper.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:45, archived)
You may as well.
You've a ridiculous voting system in your place.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:46, archived)
i'm going to vote jmg
be sure of it
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:58, archived)
Why do I read the Daily Mail when I know it makes me so angry?
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1185128/Why-bosses-right-distrust-women-dont-want-children--VERY-outspoken-mother-ex-boss.html

I am _this_ far away from becoming someone who comments on newspapers' websites.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:41, archived)
I've commented on dozens of Mail articles
none have ever got past the mods.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:42, archived)
OH LT!
Don't believe the internet newspapers.
They have writers who post these things to get hits.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:42, archived)
This is the most honest Daily Mail article I've ever read.
Before whinging the author admits to not having a fucking clue what she's on about.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:42, archived)
I read the first paragraph then switched off.
How does it end - does she blame it on foreigners, non-whites and poor people, and advocate that they all be burnt in the birth of a new glorious thousand-year Reich?
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:45, archived)
No, that women who have children are, without exception, better people, better workers and more 'normal' than women who choose not to.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:49, archived)
What if they just plain don't want kids?
My best mate doesn't, she's about as maternal as a dead childless man.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:50, archived)
In other words Rosemary West was a better person than Mother Theresa.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:51, archived)
lady, you're weird
*does the waggling finger and wobbling head thing*
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:49, archived)
I see the arguement that there are some transferable skills in child rearing
but the rest is claptrap, pure and simple.
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:52, archived)
But she makes out that those skills cannot be gained from anywhere else.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:53, archived)
That forms part of the claptrap
I am in complete agreement with you, I just mean it is nice to see it realised that having a baby means you stop learning anything, as is often suggested.
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:55, archived)
there's a particular company i want to strangle
because i always give companies their own email to contact me at, and over 50% of my spam comes to that particular account
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:46, archived)
'because i always give companies their own email to contact me at'
some bloke who works for one of my clients does exactly this, then phoned me up and screamed at me that he'd not received his password reminder.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:47, archived)
I think spacefish means the company name before the @ on his own domain, not the whole address

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:48, archived)
exactly
apologies to wow, coherence is not my strong point
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:50, archived)
OH I SEEEEEEE

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:51, archived)
:D what'd we do without you?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:51, archived)
Be just as lovely and wonderful :)
but without having to put up with me being all know-it-all at you, sorry about that.
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:54, archived)
Don't be sorry, pretty hair.
Whoa, I sound like such a creepy weirdo. I mean that in a non-sexually-threatening way.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:54, archived)
I've had to cut 8" off it :(
It reaches the base of my ribcage still though. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:06, archived)
My brother does that.
He's also been known to do that fancy google wizardry thing so that people who look for such companies get a warning that the hoors sell you to spammers.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:47, archived)
tell me more about that fancy google wizardry
i want a piece of the action
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:51, archived)
It might be that google bombing thing.
Then again it might not. I'm not really a very IT person myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:52, archived)
accidental.
I had an angry email telling me to stop sending spam to the chap in question. I pointed out that an email can be set to appear as if it's from any address, and that I didn't send it. He got very angry and kept emailing me til I said "So do you want to buy some viagra or not?", he said he didn't so I told him to stop wasting my time.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:54, archived)
Bah. You mongoloids.
Handsome Gav can't play out tonight.
:(

Cheer me up with some of your bouncing misery.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
I did misery earlier.
Bollocks to you, go out on your own with a load of young chavettes in a pink stretch gaytank thing. Go on.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:37, archived)
Rough people in Limos.
Another sign of fat Britain trying to spoil everything.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:37, archived)
Young pretty boys then. young pretty boys with terrified expressions
in the boot. OOH in loincloths.

There you go.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:38, archived)
Scatter bits of Lambrini soaked popcorn from the town centre to your mum's house and you'll get a top Newcastle lass within 15 minutes

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:39, archived)
Have you ever visited Newcastle?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:41, archived)
Many a time.
My mate Moxy lives up there. I've spent time at the weatherspoons (I think) with the tall ceilings and a fat lass tried to give me a chinese burn. She was wearing a cowboy hat.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:43, archived)
What the hell were you doing in there?!
IS MOXY ROUGH?!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:45, archived)
Yup.
I know nasty sorts. I'm like the 'queer' mascot I think :S
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:47, archived)
Now I've never visted the Toon myself,
but I'm still going to stick my neck out and suggest your experience says more about Wetherspoons pubs than Newcastle in general.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:48, archived)
indeed :)

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:52, archived)
Front Page
I have been clicking like a wanker/parkinsons/arab in suv/ to all links to get that horrible chicken birth off the front page... to no avail!
(I helped save b3ta! The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:32, archived)
Turn your monitor off.
Please.


I joke, I joke.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:32, archived)
Do Arabs in SUVs click lots?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:33, archived)
"Aw man! I'm clicking like a swan in a TERRIBLE HAT..."

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:33, archived)
"I'm clicking like a black man in a hatckback..."

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:34, archived)
"I'm clicking like a Chinese piloting an aeroplane...."

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:35, archived)
I'm clicking like a welshman in space.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
Did you want to be my facebook friend so you could appear to have cool and popular friends?
good choice my man....good choice *winks with finger guns*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:37, archived)
someone off here has added me on facebook
and I don't know why, considering we don't speak and when we do we don't get on.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:39, archived)
they secretly fancy you ;)
I've turned down a good few b3tans, I don't like ugly people on my facebook. cramps my style and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:41, archived)
Thank you, then.
I doubt they secretly fancy me. Maybe they want to spy on me. Either way, I'm thoroughly confused.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:43, archived)
I'd like to reassure b3tans that the unnamed person to whom the Captain is referring is not me.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:45, archived)
Like you'd be seen talking to me.
I bet it's a bit of a push doing it on here.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:46, archived)
Meet me in /Off Topic in five minutes.
Make sure you're not followed.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:49, archived)
I'll be gone, probably.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:51, archived)
Hell yeah,
good acceptance speed.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:40, archived)
I'm clicking like an Irish person trying to use the internet..."

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
*click*

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:41, archived)
OI

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:33, archived)
Arab in SUV?

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:33, archived)
You sound like a dick

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:34, archived)
I also have no idea what you're banging on about.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
haha, yeah
yeah
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
You think the front page comes from what is clicked most on /links?
or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Three Dog Man, Thu 21 May 2009, 18:20, archived)
Sort of like a free shit day off
When you're off work because you're ill, what do you generally do?

I was off ill yesterday and the day before, and I watched lots of porn and star trek, did some yoga in a stupid attempt to make myself feel better, tested out how loud my speakers went and restrung my bass. I also had bacon sandwiches, ate lots of nectarines and made myself a cup of tea in a bowl.

edit: I'm shitter than usual with this. Almost a new low. Ah well, you've had two captain-free days.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:28, archived)
Build a fort to protect me from further illness.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:30, archived)
as little as possible
drink
play games
watch videos
read
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:31, archived)
I'd probably work on some animations or web site stuff.
Perhaps a few rounds with Smash Bros Brawl.
And laying in bed feeling sorry for myself.

After all the porn obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:31, archived)

sorry for
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:31, archived)
Only on bedsheet changing day.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:32, archived)
Basically what I do everyday anyway.
Minus going to work or doing any chores.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:32, archived)
put on daytime TV
as an act of self-abuse. It gets me back to work quicker when I realise how awful life would be if I had to stay home all day.
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:31, archived)
I was so bored yesterday.
Hence the yoga.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:31, archived)
what kind of yoga?
Muller corner or Bio-Pot?
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:33, archived)
Hatha.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:35, archived)
don't do the Kundalani (sp?)
the flow should only go down, not rise up (Regardie).
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
I bum around in my monster slippers and have hot baths when watching movies on my laptop which is perched on the toilet.
I eat crap.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:31, archived)
If I'm ill enough to be off work, it's serious.
So, y'know, I usually stay in bed hoping for the blessed relief of death, only getting out to pebble-dash the porcelain, vomit blood or both.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:31, archived)
What if you start to feel better?
What if you feel better at half four? That stunning work ethic, do you go in?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:32, archived)
I don't work 9-5, so in the more general case of feeling better half an hour before the end of the shift,
I wouldn't - but only because it takes me the best part of an hour to get there.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
When I grow up I hope I'm like you.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
It would be quite different if I wasn't being paid by the hour.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:37, archived)
AHA.
Trying to look all grown up and ethic filled.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:40, archived)
I'm preparing for a long recovery so I have bought myself some favourite books from childhood
I'm also planning to listen to podcasts, keep listening to my German CD, do some cross-stitch and cuddle my guinea pigs.
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:32, archived)
Sehr gut!

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
Sleep, internet, daytime telly, get on with essays/reading.
Although the only times recently that I've not felt up to going into work have been cos of hangovers.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:32, archived)
I had a weird flu thing.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:35, archived)
I am still ill but I can't take a day off as I am self employed.
I just got back from having a scan.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:32, archived)
Is it a boy or a girl?

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:34, archived)
Having no idea what's wrong with you
I shall say

congratulations
oooh dear
stroke it better
put it in the fridge
send it to the end of the garden to think about what it's done.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:34, archived)
CAT scan or
the good one? (MRI)
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:34, archived)
MRIs are not good
They are loud and claustrophobic
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
but you can say
that all of the molecules in your body have had their quantum state changed (temporarily).

/geekout orgasm
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 21 May 2009, 17:39, archived)
Generally laze
watch Jeremy Kyle as I find it makes me feel better, drink copious amounts of tea, watch either Life on Mars, Teachers or Singin in the Rain, forget to eat, snuzz the cats, fanny about online and other things that i can't be arsed to list as this list is fairly dull itself.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
Yeah, I failed a bit asking a boring question.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:41, archived)
I heard an owl in my garden the other night, but I couldnt see it
Was it invisible ?

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8061031.stm

I saw a dentist today, he didnt see me though *winks*
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5915097
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:02, archived)
I saw a MILF driving a bus
The scene would have been more erotic if she was driving a tractor or a truck, but hey, it's Thursday morning so it wasn't too bad
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:04, archived)
I raped a blind girl
She never saw me coming.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:05, archived)
No but she felt the spots on your arse
and thought it was a love letter.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:06, archived)
Those weren't spots
That was stubble
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:06, archived)
She just thought it was 6pt helvetica

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:06, archived)
Half man, half whippet
all posh tarquin sandwichpants.

Afternoon, Worms. I've had a flounce and you weren't here to direct it at.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:07, archived)
Yet you are here now.
Way to let eveyone down sourpuss.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:08, archived)
not so much a flounce
as a flouncet
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:09, archived)
Can you link to it please.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:10, archived)
okay
www.b3ta.com/talk/6166187
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:14, archived)
TERRIBLE BULLYING
Cpt Wow is a worthy and valued b3tan, she just needs to acclimatise.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:10, archived)
You're all wankers and I'm lovely and I don't deserve any of this abuse.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:11, archived)
Show us your bum

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:12, archived)
You'll be sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:12, archived)
invisibOWL

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:18, archived)
Today, I have been to Cambridge Beer Festival
run by the crazy peeps from CAMRA. My brain is now fuzzed by all sorts of lovely alcohol.

What's your take on real ale?
(I helped save b3ta! its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:57, archived)
meh
it's ok. But it's not gin.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:58, archived)
I do like the taste
but I don't drink any more, so a pint of real ale will get me good and slurry. Like a little chinese woman or a 4 year old.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:58, archived)
I like real ale
I'd like to pour it on a naked, curvy woman with big, milky, veiny tits and lick it off.

It's best enjoyed with aching, post ride limbs.

I also like lager and cider though.

And ladies bottoms and fannies.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:59, archived)
Ha ha ha ha
you made me officelol.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:00, archived)
*does victory dance*

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:02, archived)
If it's good, it's ace.
And as there's no shortage of good breweries in these parts, most festivals are an embarrassment of riches.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:00, archived)
Some northern on here once mocked my good reviews of Kentish and Sussex ales
"You cant have good beer down south" quote he.

"Where do you think the fucking hops come from you stupid cunt ?" replieth I
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:01, archived)
I love it
but not enough to grow a beard and start wearing sandles with socks.
(I helped save b3ta! Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:00, archived)
there were a large amount of men like that there
it was like I'd just walked into a physics lecture hall - about 90% male :P
(I helped save b3ta! its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:01, archived)
I like ones with cool names like "Witche's Pube Thicket" and stuff like that

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:01, archived)
Gruntys old pissy tit

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:02, archived)
Westcote Vommy Splatter

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:04, archived)
Chanctonbury helm

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:05, archived)
there was an 800 Years of Achievement
ale in celebration of Cambridge Uni's anniversary - not much achievement going on after that though, as it was 9% :P
(I helped save b3ta! its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:04, archived)
I hope nobody there is driving home,
there's possible Police, CAMRA, action that could be taken.

As for real ale, if I could still drink alcohol, I'd definitely partake
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:01, archived)
I like real ale a lot ...
...but it may be the cause of my fat belly.
(I helped save b3ta! g_j_p, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:04, archived)
real ale is great stuff....
four months or so until the St Albans Beer festival....
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:05, archived)
There are some spectacular ales out there
but too few pubs that serve ales and fewer still which care for their lines properly.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:36, archived)
I saw half man half biscuit last night
For the second time.

What have you seen that's good recently?
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:17, archived)
The Hannah Montana Movie

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:17, archived)
I bet she's really thin
and only has 15 pubic hairs.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:18, archived)
she's REALLY thin.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:19, archived)
Fucking bitch
I beleive the predeliction for thin women in the media has come about because Models and Acresses are chosen by gays.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:20, archived)
she's only young, as well
still, if you will become an actress, you will probably end up right skinny.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:20, archived)
I vote we beat all actresses and models to death

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)
aww no
then who would wear all the lovely clothes?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:22, archived)
Polly Pocket

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:22, archived)
you can have some

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:24, archived)
High fashion clothes are only meant for the uber-skinny and tall
as it shows the clothes off without the designer having to compensate for hips, boobs and whatever. I'd spend a fucking fortune on clothes if I was that shape.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:26, archived)
dead by 30 of a overdose
mawahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

This is so untrue
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:26, archived)
and the hairs?

(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:20, archived)
I've still got to watch this.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:19, archived)
it's fairly entertaining, actually.
Torrent it, don't pay for it.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:19, archived)
THAT IS STEALING
YOU ARE WORSE THAN MYRA HINDLEY
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:23, archived)
what actually is it?
All I know of the show is that it's made by Disney and was advertised on the side of buses a couple of months back.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:23, archived)
and there is a XBox/Playstation/Wii game for it

(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
Hannah Montana is a character, really
I think there is a TV programme on the Disney channel. She's Hannah Montana for singing and being famous, and lives her normal life as Miley Cyrus, regular girl.

I think.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
And she's got a mouth like the Standedge tunnel turned sideways.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:29, archived)
She was a small child actress Billy Ray Cyrus sold to Disney as he was low on cash.
Once Disney starting using these legally owned actors/actresses, they'll pedal them out like prostitutes whoring out merchandise and churning out tv shows and movies, rolling in the money for Disney who had been struggling to make anything decent in its own right since The Lion King. Billy Ray started a legal battle to get his daughter back at a profit, but to avoid a kerfuffle with the court rooms and people finding out Disney buy and own child slaves as actors, they gave him a part in the show.

/Conspiracy Theory by EddAchey Breaky Heart
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:34, archived)
I downloaded it a week ago.
It's sitting on my desktop, waiting to be watched. It best be better than Star Trek.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:23, archived)
I can already hear MoT huffing himself up for a big righteous strop.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:26, archived)
The industry's not losing any money from me by me torrenting it
I wouldn't pay for it even if there were no torrents. I'd just go without.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:28, archived)
only because you got in on a childs ticket

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:19, archived)
hah
the jokes on YOU, I downloaded it.

On my Tomy My First Laptop
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:20, archived)
promoting movie piracy!
bad spangolin!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)
You wouldn't steal a TV!
You wouldn't steal a handbag!
You wouldn't steal a car!
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:23, archived)
You wouldn't murder a policeman!
And then steal his helmet!
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:25, archived)
I was waiting for that

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
You wouldn't download a car
Yes I bloody would. Stupid advert.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:30, archived)
careful
master of shit will get angry..
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:26, archived)
I'm quaking. Honest.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:31, archived)
we got student tickets for Star Trek yesterday,
without even asking for them. She asked us if we had any student ID, and we said no, and I thought the total hadn't come out to as much as I'd expected, and then we looked at the tickets and they said "student" on them.

We must have looked young that day, because we got asked for ID in the pub just before that as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:22, archived)
The mirror.
I must say. Today I am incredibly self confident.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:17, archived)
I had a man sent off in the 1st minute
I'm now 6 nil up.

I AM AN ACE MANAGER.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:18, archived)
the life of brian in HD on bluray

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:19, archived)
I saw The Specials in Coventry last Friday, that
was great fun. I'm also off to see The Cribs in October, which should be even funner.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:22, archived)
Frost/Nixon
The Wrestler
Star Trek

The Specials
The Young Knives
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:25, archived)
I liked star trek.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:26, archived)
And ME. Don't forget me, I'm ace. I'm better than all those things.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:26, archived)
No.
Wishbert is better than you.

Eurovision was good too because Norway won.

I've also seen my hair and my tits, all of which are GREAT.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:28, archived)
Can't argue with that.
Fancy a pint if I can stay awake long enough?
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:29, archived)
What, now?

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:37, archived)
Nah, latars.
Well any time from now, really.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:38, archived)
I'm meant to be meeting Chrissie in The Windmill later on.

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:43, archived)
OK, well maybe another time then, Red Bush.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:45, archived)
He he.

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:49, archived)
Not s'much recently but I'm looking forward to Depeche Mode in December
and I will probably be banging on about it until then too.

I'd love to go to the Cambridge Folk Festival but I can't this year, maybe next.
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
mate of mine in Salisbury
stole the Jagermeister machince from the pub he used to work at
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
Fucking hell
I am in a shite pub using 1980's phone internet listening to old spastics talking shite and a remix of the Mr Blobby song. Also, deal or no deal is on the telly. I think this is what hell must be like.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:30, archived)
Some stinking pisshead being arrested for lying in the middle of the road.
actually, they might just have taken him home. He was removed anyway, which is good. Don't want my road reeking of pub.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:30, archived)
Was he a regular poster on QOTW?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:35, archived)
He has feelings
he may just have turned to drink after being bullied online, can you show him no compassion ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:35, archived)
That's nothing
I saw a man that was litterally half-biscuit.
Mykey his name was.
Strange racist type.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:40, archived)
I recently saw a music video
that featured women hula hooping, topless.

These women had fake tits and they were (IMO) the most hideously unsexy things I had seen for such a long time. Their physiques were similar to those of starved 12 year old boys with misshapen lumps on their chests.

Why did we ever move away from the idea that a curvy bird with a nice big arse and big, milky white, natural, veiny tits was the way to go ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:04, archived)
Jews.

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/4378240
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)
Greatest ever thread.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:41, archived)
I like my girls to have the bodies of 12 year old boys.
Penises included.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:05, archived)
You missed a comma
between milky and white.
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
The thought of Comma sitting between two milky white boobs
is enough to make you want to join the gays.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)
Then i insist you dont think about her dancing a la Uhura in Wrath Of Khan

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:09, archived)
I am now imagining her looming out of the dark at me
like an escaped extra from "One flew over the Cuckoos nest"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:10, archived)
Or the surfing penguin played by Jeff Bridges in 'Surfs Up'

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper1244/stills/eup9fe4n.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:12, archived)
Or "Fidel" from the Witches of Eastwick

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

the Witches of Eastwick
 Cuba
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:14, archived)
Pffft
I have to say the penguin is a pretty good fit.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
clickin dis for out of context lols

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)
hahaa
*passes a pointy white hat over*
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)
I like 70s banana wabble tits that are like ski ramps with puffy golf balls on the end.
OH THAT'S FUCKING IT I'M HAVING A FLOUCE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN *pisses everywhere*

/Mike? Was that ok? Can I go on your list now?
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
There's a flouncing list?
Enlinkify!
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)
Ooo you dont see those any more.
Not in public anyway.

You see lots of misshapen beachballs with badly sited nipples though.

They are shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:08, archived)
I think we need to back to the 70s triangle boob. They were best.
no bra and running in t-shirts. lovely. It looked like an ape was trying to tickle them from behind up their tops.

I like rare tits on my girls. Sorta like collecting Pokemon.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:10, archived)
I think we should breed women
Lets go out and round up a load of prepubescent girls and allow them to grow organically on the farm.

Then, in five years we can HAVE AN ORGY !

An orgy of rejection *internet sad face*
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:12, archived)
It's ok, the ones that reject us can go to the milking shed or abattoir

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
Mince them
and make chilli
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
Are you sure this wasn't an Aphex Twin video?

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)
fucked if I know
really skiny women do fuck all for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:08, archived)
This

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

really skinny
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:10, archived)
At least they'd leave half their food at the restaurant....

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
Sod them
women should look like women, not twigs.

E watches britains next top model and then women on there do nothing for me whatsoever.

I like seeing tits,hips and arse.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:13, archived)
models are mental too.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)
cannot be helped as they are that self absorbed.

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)
I see on the BBC another one topped herself.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:28, archived)
Fat girl's skinny=Normal
Fat girl's curvy=Dumptruck
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:17, archived)
What about a fat girl's definition of fat?

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:22, archived)
Gravity well.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:31, archived)
You said something very inspiring about "fucking americans can even fuck up tits" once.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
pfft :)

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:12, archived)
It is my role
to inspire, provoke and repulse.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:13, archived)
I'm an equal oppertunity perve,
I like girls of most sizes apart from either extreme of the fat spectrum
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
When people decided that
any girl over a size 8 was fat
any woman whose tits aren't where they were when she was 14 is saggy
any girl without the arse of a teenage boy is fat.

Tell a woman that for long enough, and you'll get her to the point where she believes you. That's why girls in my class at school would cry themselves to sleep at night because they thought their perfectly natural bodies weren't up to scratch.


I never understood the 'hairless pussy, arse of a 14 year old boy' fetish, but then I guess I'm not a paedophile hiding in the closet (needlessly inflammatory remark).

As for me, I'm a size 12 and I don't plan on getting any thinner. My breasts aren't tiny little buds on my shoulders, facing skywards. I don't care. The men who like ththe kind of physique I'll never have would be best kept away from me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:13, archived)
*makes a banner about this*
*wears it on arse*

Hello Captain. Where have you been?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:14, archived)
Ill. You?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
aw petal!
feeling better now? Was it the AIDS? I'm good thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:17, archived)
Not particularly, to be honest.
But hey, never mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:18, archived)
rubbish!
I hope you'll still drag your leperous self to the bash next week? :)
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)
Aye, I want to see how many people glare silently from a corner at me this time.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:23, archived)
huzzah!

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:33, archived)
So you're fat and have a massive bush ?
HOT DAWG !
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
no, I'm curvaceous and fucked almost nightly.
Somehow I think I'll survive.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)
I'm fucked at least five times a week
I've been overdoing my exercise routine.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:18, archived)
Shaven haven is win
As we've mentioned on here before, if you can easily confuse that with underage girls that speaks volumes of you
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
I don't know, I don't really go for the shaven look, I don't prefer it.
Tidy, yes. Shaven looks a bit off. Even without the ten year old connection, it still just looks a bit weird to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)
Either or for me

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

either ANYTHING
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:19, archived)
In the shape of a stegosaurus FTW

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:19, archived)
Face on or side view?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)
Side on
Obvs
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:40, archived)
t-rex with open mouth so it looks like it's biting your cock
FTMFW
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)
there are degress of shaven too
I think fans of shaven aren't massively bothered about whether the area between the navel and labia is shaved or not (as long as it's neat/not overgrown).

/explict
(I helped save b3ta! custard, Sat 23 May 2009, 14:07, archived)
Thing is though, no hetrosexual man has ever said this is what women should look like.
It's all actually down to what girls think they should look like due to the media portrayal in female magazines and peer pressure.

Question for lads:

What is the most ANNOYING thing your GF can say to you?

"I look FAT! I'm not going out...*flops about trying on clothes for another 2 hours*"

You know I'm not sexist but this sorta thing really does grate on me...
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)
Sorry, but have you looked at Nuts magazine and the like?
Massive fake tits, tiny waist, vacant expression and a Maddy McCann haircut. Seems to be the same on each page.

Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. Luckily I've never been male so I've never had to walk a mile and that. Oh well.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:25, archived)
Your making the mistake of thinking we've only got a one track mind for girls.

All of those bimbos, look alright in a magazine because it's a cartoon aspect and taken as such, with banter and what the not, but when out, no man would want to sleep or pull one.

It's like a freakshow, you have to look.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:29, archived)
I think
it's a similar thought process to your average blokes attitude to buying clothes which is :

"I am insecure and have little concept of personal style, therefore I will look for so called designer branded clothing and wear this as I can hide behind the label"

Blokes look at these lads mags and say "I am too insecure to admit I find a big fat arse sexy on a woman, therefore I will demand that all women I treat to unsatisfying but mercifully breif sex have the physique of a 12 year old boy"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:33, archived)
^ bingo

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:36, archived)
That's so sad.
You'd save a lot of girls a lifetime of heartache if you were honest.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:46, archived)
Beat her up a bit
then say "There, now you're too fucking battered to go out. Stay in and cook me some food, I'm going out to have sex with a prostitute and punch a kitten"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:26, archived)
I don't really know.
If you're going to fancy really skinny girls you might as well go the whole hog and go for boys.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

really unnaturally
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
that's what I meant.
I don't mean girls who are just skinny, it's the ones who obviously are not meant to be skinny.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/2522528
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:14, archived)
Thing is
natrually ectomorphic women are sexy. It's starved mesomorphs that look shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)
c'mon, hollywood says that's what's in
I'm currently on the water diet, in a few years I may rival Allegra Versace in sexiness
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
mike woz ere's list is absolutely hillarious.
OFFICIAL JMG ENDORSEMENT.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:39, archived)
Seconded

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:39, archived)
Mike..
www.b3ta.com/talk/3512796
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:48, archived)
Nice
I'm trying to track down Marcus' last words...
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:51, archived)
I found his flounce, but then Marcus wasn't actually a person, so I didn't include it.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:52, archived)
True
more the product of a warped mind.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:56, archived)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:52, archived)
THREE-WAY!
www.b3ta.com/talk/3226577
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/3100627
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/2985203
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5382046
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
..and for everybody else
www.b3ta.com/questions/impulsebuys/post428043
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:51, archived)
Couldn't resist
www.b3ta.com/questions/impulsebuys/post428077
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:05, archived)
I still can't believe that Bob Todd had used jamrags in her pockets and she didn't know how long they'd been in there :(

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:39, archived)
I read that one and did a very big sad face.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:41, archived)
I can understand the reasons for putting them in your pocket,
but if there's a period a month, it can't be that hard to remember when you put them in your pocket
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:42, archived)
Yep.
Strange woman she is.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:43, archived)
To be fair
I have no idea what you're talking about, really, but I can't think of many better ways to thwart pick pockets.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
no pockets?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:46, archived)
Well, except that.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:51, archived)
When mentioning THE LIST, it is important to refer to it in capital letters.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:40, archived)
Hopefully it'll stop people complaining and begging to be on my list.
I feel you've missed a couple out, mind.

I can remember others quitting for ever and ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:41, archived)
I am calling on the help of everyone to compile a better list.
Gilgamesh has come through in fine fashion in providing a lot of the links to flounces.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:43, archived)
I'm pretty sure I've flounced once before.
I don't know how to search for it though
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
Roahneah,
probably every one of his posts.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:50, archived)
Ooh yes.
Him. Good call.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:53, archived)
Roahneah loses all arguments since posting a photo of his cock stapled to a bit of wood.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:54, archived)
I don't suppose you can remember a phrase he once uttered in fury to make it easier to find one of his flounces?

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:57, archived)
Roahneah was the guy who has videos of himself wanking on some site, right?

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:58, archived)
That narrows down /talkers
by about 30%
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:59, archived)
Oh wait....
www.b3ta.com/talk/6013825
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:04, archived)
I found prem1um's flounce:
www.b3ta.com/talk/3512796#post3512805
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:08, archived)
A few examples
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/14592#post18953
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:01, archived)
Prem1um flounced like a big mary aswell.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
I agree,
there must be more examples though.

everyone click this www.b3ta.com/questions/impulsebuys/post427590
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:40, archived)
There's enough girls in lingerie on the internet.
Just use images.google.com
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:40, archived)
There's never enough.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
Why are you hammering this?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:41, archived)
For the same reason his grubby hand is down his pants, stroking little PsychoChomp.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:43, archived)
My hands are clean.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
little Psychochomp
is your pet name for your kid brother.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:48, archived)
So it will get to the top of the qotw
and when anyone ever defends qotw or is proud of winning, we can say "to win qotw you only have to say you'll show pictures of yourself"

that and girls and underwear and that.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:44, archived)
Oh
Right.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
I'm going to stop now.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/impulsebuys/post428031
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:49, archived)
List?

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=16234
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:43, archived)
Genius.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
Oh dear

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:53, archived)
awesome

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:58, archived)
I just received my first random burn
Unfortunately, they're being delivered to me at work because I'm moving this week, so the team in charge of mail had to open it. The CDC that was waiting inside for them apparently caused lots of blushing.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:43, archived)
I've received one
I got a lead, some stickers and a magnet with it. Dead happy. Now searching quickly for presents to put in with mine.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:44, archived)
Send your dignity.
No wait, you've already lost that.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
Such a lovely little prick, you really are.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:50, archived)
His eyes are half moons that have fallen over.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:52, archived)
Stop that now :(.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:53, archived)
Hey dibble dibble,
You had a little fiddle,
Evel Knievel jumped over your moons,
The little mong laughed to see such fun,
And then BREEEEEOOOOOW *stunt ramps off your brie head* something something spoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:02, archived)
Well, before I pop him on ignore and lose this bit of the thread
Hello ickle Gumsy.

edit: and lose the other conversation up there. FFS. Right, I'll just have to look away, like when dogs are shitting.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:53, archived)
:( you're going to ignore me?
this is sad times. I thought that's just how we spoke to each other.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:54, archived)
To be fair
she is possibly the easiest regular to wind up.

She's nice when she calms down though.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:56, archived)
Hactualyl I'm nice most of the time.
It's not that it upsets me, it's just there's a difference between a funny cunt and a cunt. One I have time for. *shrugs*

Let's all get involved, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:57, archived)
Yes, possibly
but it's an automatic fail if you start caring about the opinion of anyone online.

We're all fucking irrelevant and worthless the minute we post.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:59, archived)
So should I be caring about your automatic fail opinion?
Oh, never mind. I'm shit, you're all fabulous, fuck back off to question of the week or whatever people have fallen foul of the talk gods this week etc etc etc etc etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:02, archived)
Yeah, but you were funny with it
now you're just like a little baby gilgamesh.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Gilgamesh, also known as Bilgames in the earliest text,[1] was the son of Lugalbanda and the fifth king of Uruk (Early Dynastic II, first dynasty of Uruk), ruling circa 2700 BC, according to the Sumerian king list. He became the central character in the Epic of Gilgamesh, one of the best known works of early literature, which says that his mother was Ninsun (whom some call Rimat Ninsun), a goddess. Gilgamesh is described as two-thirds god and one-third human.


(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:58, archived)
Oh ok.
I'll take a few steps back and find the line, then I'll stay just the right side of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:58, archived)
It gets old, being ignored or bitched at. You lot are nice to each other occasionally
but very rarely does that niceness reach me. Occasionally other qill be nice for a bit, but... meh.

Actually, I sound like a right whiner. I suppose if you're not in with the popular crowd, you're not, and lamenting that won't change anything. I just think it's a bit sad. I'm quite a nice person, or at least, my friends certainly seem to enjoy me, but if nobody's particularly bothered about getting to know me before they start the whole oh-so-funny, totally new and not old in any way cuntery then that's their decision, I guess.

Yes, sound like a right whiner. Well done.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:01, archived)
Wrong time of the month ?

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:01, archived)
Of course.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:03, archived)
I wouldn't repeatedly try to bully you if I didn't like your internet words.
Would you like an initiation ceremony while we all have tea and biscuits and watch some DVDs in our PJs?

If you do it while watching Hollyoaks, you might get gonzo to hold your hand.

God I started off not being a cunt with this post, but reading back it's still there.

Oh well.

Cheer up.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:03, archived)
I'd like to not be the easily picked on person because a few of you think I'm a dick
so everyone jumps on me as well (you know, you've seen it in playgrounds) but oh well.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:04, archived)
I dont think you're a dick
I think you're over-sensitive.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
Possibly.
I'd rather be over sensitive than a bully though. The simple fact is that people over here try desperately to upset each other (or me, anyway) and then go 'oh don't take it seriously' when anyone gets hurt.

Children do that. But yes, it's my problem, I know. It always is.

God knows 99% of /talk users wouldn't behave this way in front of people, which at least bullyish children aren't too pussy to do. I don't know. Never mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:08, archived)
Far too much emotional energy is being expended here.

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
Ello :)

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:58, archived)
BANG BANG BANG
IGNORE DRUMMMMMM
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:12, archived)
I know.
I'm just treating you how you deserve to be treated. Like shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:52, archived)
Why are you still single?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:53, archived)
I don't know, I'm massively lovely.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:53, archived)
The universe is full of mysteries

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:54, archived)
Actually
the universe is mostly empty, so his life is hardly atypical.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:57, archived)
I've had three so far.
Two actual ones and one for organising it. YAY. And I got loot as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:50, archived)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:03, archived)
I got a good one from NinjaBadger, not a big poster as a user which is a shame as his was quite good :)
I will send him a thank you cartoon.

I'm sending mine out next week. they are going to be freaking EPIC
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:49, archived)
Lulu
Danni Minogue and Slade.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:55, archived)
Danni Minog...Minor...Manvogue...FAKE TITS AUSSIE....I like her in a dirty way.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:57, archived)
I fucking LOVE Slade

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:59, archived)
I can just see Noddy Holder
crosseyed, gurning, humping away at you like a fevered pug.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

I've got a hideous errection right now
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:04, archived)
Oh Lord.
Not in that way.

And I can see that too now. You fucking great shit house.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:04, archived)
One of mine is going to contain a copy of Viva Pinata.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:58, archived)
I may flounce
just to get onto the list
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:53, archived)
JMG.
Report in fatties.
What's the hot intertopics of now?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
Canonical ensamble of statistical physics.
and football manager. Pato, injured again.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
He's injury prone on FM Live, too.
Terrible business.
Happily, I don't have him.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
Bojan is awesome for me, as is a fit pato and Henri Saivet.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:17, archived)
It's all about Marquinhos.
And THE LIST obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:18, archived)
He's far too old.
I have a Wenger-esque policy of not signing anyone over 20.

...The list?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:19, archived)
Jesus, what year are you in?

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:20, archived)
2009 at the moment, started a newish game so I could have 8 nation's leagues to choose from rather than 3.
Did I find the wrong Marquinhos?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:22, archived)
THE LIST. See profile.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcos_Ant%C3%B4nio_da_Silva_Gon%C3%A7alves
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:21, archived)
I don't need that.
I've got in game scouts.

It's not really playing the game if you use that list.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:26, archived)
What the fuck are you talking about?
Wormulus and Bou aren't players on football manager.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:33, archived)
lol, I thought you meant the list on Marquinhos' profile
www.footballtalent.org/Marcos_Ant__nio_da_Silva_Gon__alves-3_7-18168-7.html
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:35, archived)
Oh no, the flounces and failures list.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:39, archived)
Is the current FM any good?
I have FIFA Manager, which is "quite hard" to win at.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:20, archived)
I'm on FM 2008
my housemates both have 2009 (same copy, I was too into my 08 game to care).
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:21, archived)
Ah okay.
FifaM is a bit iffy in places. Some of the game mechanics are a bit dodgy. Rubberband AI ahoy.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:24, archived)
A qotwer promises underwear pics if she wins this weeks qotw
edit: www.b3ta.com/questions/impulsebuys/post427590
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
OH FAT PEOPLE'S CULTURE!
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
I clicked it
I'm not ashamed.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:14, archived)
I'm UNITING by SOCIALISING.
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post427925
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:17, archived)
Shhhhh
there's actual pictures of naked ladies on the internet, if you search for them.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:22, archived)
see below.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:23, archived)
baldmonkey will do anything for attention these days

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:14, archived)
For fuck's sake

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:19, archived)
click it!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:21, archived)
Even if you don't want to see the pics
click it so that it wins /qotw and we have something to hold over them for ever.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:22, archived)
that was my thinking
and is the only reason I clicked it
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:23, archived)
yeeeeeaaaaahhhh me too.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:30, archived)
I'd rather she got a mastectomy

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:23, archived)
That's not very nice,
becky's decent enough. She's one of the few offtopicers that have come to /talk and haven't been shit.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:25, archived)
The scars make me randy
it's a very common fetish.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:27, archived)
Whatever makes you happy,

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:29, archived)
That post makes me think seriously otherwise.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:47, archived)
He already has, he's already secretly pounding at his ill-used penis trying to get it to crack through its shell and breathe its first breath of summer
Like a hatching duck.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:24, archived)
does it have an egg tooth?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:36, archived)
coffee break!

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
My memory had a brief ejaculate of odd symbols
and it would appear my b3ta log in was one of them.

It's gone everywhere, mind, and it's going to take more than a mop and some grim determination to clear this up before the wife gets home.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
Alright fuckface?

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:15, archived)
Fucking awesome thanks shorty!
Minge still scraping the floor?

*offers stilts*
(I helped save b3ta! Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:16, archived)
Aw cheers, man.
*utilises stilts*

That's SO much better.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:18, archived)
I've just eaten eight rashers of bacon,
and a packet of Jaffers. Overtime at the gym tonight then.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:14, archived)
Good luck, there.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:20, archived)
A panda did a sneeze.
So are you nervous about the games on Sunday, or excited?
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:14, archived)
I just want Sunday to be here already.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:18, archived)
Wolf tshirts.

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:15, archived)
MOTHERFUCKING wolf tshirts
cured my AIDS.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:16, archived)
I'm too fucking hot
in this stupid fucking office spangface.

I'm making me ANGRY.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:29, archived)
It's all about THE LIST, JMG.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:16, archived)
As ever.
The list is VERY important.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:18, archived)
Wormulus won the Bullies QotW

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:30, archived)
Get in!
Link to it.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:32, archived)
You also made THE LIST.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:34, archived)
Is Pasanonic on there?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:39, archived)
I'm not sure he ever went mental on /talk, I could be wrong though.
Or maybe I should just expand it.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:40, archived)
what about that bloke he said he was really rich and we were all students
then posted a picture of some camera lenses that he had bought as some kind of proof.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:45, archived)
There's a bald geordie on Countdown
is it you?
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:32, archived)
JMG - able to solve the conundrum and post on /talk at the same time.
What a man.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:33, archived)
VOWEL MAN PET.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:35, archived)
The last three days my work hours have been
0800-1730, 2200-0600, 0400-1400. I bet if you dial that you get a dodgy sex chat line.

Anyway, I don't know whether to go to bed, have my breakfast or have a pint. What do you reckon?
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:29, archived)
BOTH
Fry up and a pint of Guinness.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:30, archived)
If I told a joke about a slinky ONLINE
would this produce SPRING LOLS ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
Probably maybe definitely.

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
Have a fry up, with a pint and a pasta salad.
Whilst watching Neighbours, the evening news from yesterday and children's morning time TV one after the other.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
I reckon it's time to alleviate the afternoon with another pun thread.
Motorist's Song Book?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
I know not what a mororist is

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
consider it duly edited for clarity

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:32, archived)
I guessed what it was, but then again I'm not a dribbling mong.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:33, archived)
Save Your Love, by Renault and Renata.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:32, archived)
I just can't get you out of my Flatbed Ford

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:33, archived)
I wanna hold your van (hand) The Beatles

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:34, archived)
Pick Up to Ride
The Beatles
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:36, archived)
Suzuki in the sky with diamonds
THe Beatles
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
Revolvo

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:41, archived)
General Motor's lonely hearts club band

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:50, archived)
Maxwell's Silver Hummer

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:02, archived)
Yellow Subaru

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:04, archived)
Here comes the Datsun King

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:04, archived)
Mean Mr Mustang

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:05, archived)
Hand in glove compartment

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:34, archived)
Vauxhall & I?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Lamborghini

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
Steeler's Wheel - Stuck in the Middle Lane behind this fucking idiot WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU
MONG? THERE ARE THREE FUCKING LANES FOR A oh fuck it, I'll just undertake you while shaking my head disapprovingly
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:41, archived)
That don't Impreza me much

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:44, archived)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
Hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:47, archived)
Hahahanonotdoingit.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:48, archived)
I know someone called Sue Barrau

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
Any relation to Will?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:02, archived)
"subaru" backwards spells "u r a bus"
use this information wisely
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:07, archived)
What about evian? WAKE UP SHEEPLE

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:11, archived)
Cosworth was designed by two fellas name Mr Costin and Mr Duckworth, hence Cosworth
It was either Cosworth or Tinduck
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
Metal Duck did a split album with Lawnmower Deth.
Remember that.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:15, archived)
Vauxhall & Oates - Panel Beater

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
Luck be a Lada tonight

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:38, archived)
Lancia Later Alligator

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:42, archived)
My Sweet Ford

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:44, archived)
Everywhere Yugo, always take the weather with you

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:44, archived)
Citroen and On and On Again.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
Chevrolet Lady Lay

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:48, archived)
oh, nicely done

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
Hyundai Estate Of Consciousness

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:54, archived)
pffft!
fuel injected with a poison
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
D.V.L.A. R.A.C.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:00, archived)
Lada in Revs.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
Girlfriend in a Corsa

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:54, archived)
911 Is A Joke

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
radio ka ka

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:08, archived)
anything by rob halfords

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:09, archived)
or teenage fanbelt

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:10, archived)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:11, archived)
You're just a Teenage Airbag...

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
Nissan Sunny Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:11, archived)
we are the Champions (spark plugs)

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:12, archived)
Transitting On The Dock Of The Bay

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:34, archived)
Transitting Honda Dock of the Bay

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
Transitting Honda Accord of the Bay

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:38, archived)
"I heard there was a secret Accord.
that David drove and brought the lawlz"
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:43, archived)
ha ha

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:51, archived)
Superkawasakisticexpialidocious

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:34, archived)
That's not a car
fail.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:34, archived)
Are motorcylists not classed as motorists?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
No
they are classed as "Screaming great nancys"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:36, archived)
I was quite proud of it though :(
let me have this one?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
motorbike riders count as motorists, though

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
DAEWOO, DAAAEEEWOO
Daewoo come and me wanna go home.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:36, archived)
That'll be the Daewoo... when I die
they didn't really think that one through.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:38, archived)
Living in a gear Box

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:44, archived)
Car you gonna be my girl?

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:46, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:48, archived)
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
I said earlier that I was going to be nice and only nice from now on.
I was going by the "If you don't have anything nice to say, just say nothing at all" way of things.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:56, archived)
Whatever.
Loser.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:59, archived)
:( I'm being nice,
be nice back.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 15:00, archived)
I reckon
I might do some work. In a bit. For an hour.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:32, archived)
You're a civil servant?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:33, archived)
An uncivil decorator

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
>:(

(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
Sorry, were you busy?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
I am on study leave today
Normally I would be FAR too busy to read your comments.

Q: Why don't civil servants look out of the window in the morning?
A: Because then they wouldn't have anything to do in the afternoon.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
Haha, I'd never heard that one.
I'm HUNGRY. My last meal was this time yesterday, Chinese buffet. So a £6 buffet filled me for 24 hours, not bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:43, archived)
Come and get me from work
so we can go for a pint
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
I'm not getting in that car again, no offence
great forum
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:36, archived)
All three sounds good.
In bed with bacon sandwiches and a pint.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:40, archived)
I am tired and not looking forward to the next 24 hours
can I come to yours right now and we can get pissed on Guinness?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:40, archived)
Yes.
Yes you can.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:44, archived)
go to bed
stare at the ceiling for fifteen minutes, realise that it's pointless trying to sleep and go to the pub

//my life to date
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:05, archived)
Does anybody else listen to the baldmonkey podcast ?
The latest one is shit but has one of Pauls best Pooems in it.

I remember when all this was feilds.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:14, archived)
I miss Voltan
And the bennies. And Lonewolf.

Actually not the bennies and lonewolf, i speak to them every day. Just Voltan:(
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:16, archived)
Fuck I remmeber lonewolf
he was a strange and beautiful man.

There's nothing like him any more.

Pass on my regards and that.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
I shall abuse him from you

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
Shit in his eyes

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:19, archived)
Do you guys still speak?
If so, give him a snog from me.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:25, archived)
Clearly this is the Mykey "Everyone actually likes me IRL" thread.
Because everyone pretends to hate him ONLINE.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:26, archived)
I had those Bennies in the back of my car once
/ac, worryingly.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
Pfft

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:19, archived)
You dropped this ","
I beleive it belongs just after the word "Bennies"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:20, archived)
I'm being ambiguous.
Obviously, I bummed them both back to the stoneage, but I also gave them a lift to and from Oxford.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
I heard that after you'd ripped the back out of them
their bumholes were gaping like a mongs mouth.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:23, archived)
Damn straight.
Took me weeks to get the blood off the leather seats.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:27, archived)
You're never far from my thoughts, young man!

(I helped save b3ta! Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:04, archived)
I dont rmemeber Voltan at all
he must have been a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
Fenris was the best cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:23, archived)
I like Fenris
he's the sort of bloke you go out for a pint with and then wrestle each other when pissed.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:24, archived)
Absolutely.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:24, archived)
I thought he was lovely.
Also, very tall as I seem to remember.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:25, archived)
No
He was about five foot ten I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:25, archived)
I'm only 5', most people look hideously tall to me.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:26, archived)
You freak

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:27, archived)
This.
He's a shortarse by decent old-skool b3tan stakes.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:26, archived)
Didn't he almost punch Gizmo?

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:24, archived)
Probably only "almost"
because his tiny fists were so small the punch was blown off course by a passing fly.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:25, archived)
Quite possibly.
Wrestling was more his style though. Along with barbarian loincloths and big double-edged swords.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:25, archived)
he was the second coming of Conan.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
I love them.
They were the lot that I loved and adored and looked up to when I first joined.

I met them at the first bash I ever went to, a proper old style Oxford bash, practically all of the good people on the internet were there.

*sigh*
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:23, archived)
We should all go back in time:(

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:25, archived)
We had great times when we were in Oxford my dear Mykey.
Talking about archaeology and cunts.

with Brainiac and Hank and Lu and nice people.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:27, archived)
My first Bash at Reading consisted of Tara, myself, one of the bennies and Mykey.
Beery times ahoy.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:26, archived)
I went to a bash of sorts before I even joined.
It was meeting Brainiac and Mykey with Wormulus that prompted me to get an account.

They gave me toy cars that they'd found in the street as I remember.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:29, archived)
I feel I should point out that I was there

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:38, archived)
Feilds?
I remember when it was all flids.

No wait, it still is.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:17, archived)
*leans over to type an angry response*

(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:24, archived)
*stumps you up*

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
I don't really,
I listend to one, but I don't have an mp3 player so I have to sit at my computer and listen. Which is gay.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
I remember when we all found out that regular was a diaper furry
they're still a regular so I won't mention who was though
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:19, archived)
That would be relatively "vanilla"
compared to what most of the cunts on here get up to.

was it gonz ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:19, archived)
SHUSH

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:19, archived)
Diaper furry?
You mean, like, baby squirrels with tits in diapers?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 14:20, archived)
Didn't Spangolin say Damion liked to wear nappies?

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
NO

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:33, archived)
NO NO NO NO NO
jesus no.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
God today is getting less and less sexy by the hour.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:34, archived)
haha
if you're looked down on by furries, you're not in the best of places :P
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:33, archived)
I listen sometimes.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:19, archived)
Dont you love the phrase
"Big, veiny tits"

It's almost as nice as "Glistening Vulva" or "Frequent uplift service"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
it's delightful

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:25, archived)
Imagine a big, veiny tit with a glistening vulva and a fequent uplift service
It'd be ace.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:26, archived)
I don't
It's shit. I expect.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
Bits are OK
bits are shit. If he put more effort into it, it'd be quite good.

I thought it would be funnier, though I have no idea why.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:22, archived)
Lol random wacky lols aren't very funny when just done aurally.

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:27, archived)
He doesnt do random whacky lols really.

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:28, archived)
I do but I've not heard that one yet

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:28, archived)
I'm going for twice in a row
www.b3ta.com/questions/impulsebuys/post427608

CLICK IT YOU BASTARDS
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6165547
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/impulsebuys/post427616
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
clickin dis

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:19, archived)
I'm not clicking that,

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
CLICK IT

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:20, archived)
YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

can you solo SM yet?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

I can
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

awesome, could you help sometime this week? That will lvl me to 30 and get me enough silk to become a super tailor
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:35, archived)
I can help you tonight if you want? I'm away until Sunday after that.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:42, archived)
sounds cool,
I can put off tidying my bedroom for a day.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:51, archived)
I'll be on at about 8ish so anytime after that :)
I got the scarlet key if you need as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:52, archived)
yeah I need that,
cool I'll try to come on around 8ish.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:59, archived)
tell me the realm again?
I might transfer one of my characters over and irritate you
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
Moonglade

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:29, archived)
Shut up Seabass.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 13:00, archived)
Someone managed to write
this much on buying stuff from the reduced section of Tescos.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
I clicked it because you love the attention and are getting all dribbly and licky at the thought of it.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
I'm going to try and win the Image Challenge

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:07, archived)
I can tell you're biting your knuckle 'freeeeaky deee!!' style over all of this :)

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:11, archived)
I'm getting the post giggle comedown now.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:20, archived)
May I just take this opportunity to thank you for your Randomburn CD
and please pass on my condolences to the CD sleeve business which must have recently closed down in your area ;)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:10, archived)
My magical online CD sleeve is far better
although there is one error

It's not blink 182, it's someone else and the name of the song is different too. Not my fault, just a mislabelled downloaded MP3 form donkeys years that got sucked in.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

I may get banned now :(
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 13:15, archived)
*doesn't get it*

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:19, archived)
*makes joke about you being a virgin who doesn't 'get it' even though it doesn't actually work because we all know who you're sleeping with*

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:21, archived)
kiwi toddler wins
www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/21/digger_auction/
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:22, archived)
Biggest non story of the week
www.b3ta.com/questions/impulsebuys/post427675

"Man buys wine and drinks it."
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:25, archived)
Where has everyone gone?
I'm bored at work and need to talk inane drivel at people.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
must be lunch time.
I'm still here. Goodness only knows why.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
I thought of a great radio jingle to advertise your mum
11p, guarantees you glee
before, during and after your sex wee.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:34, archived)
She does do a good post fuck fry up.
With tit sauce.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:45, archived)
I think they're breaking internet shut-in conventions and going outside for lunch :(

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:34, archived)
I went outside
it was hot, but I wore a coat anyway. weather can't tell me what to do.
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:35, archived)
In your face meteorology!

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:38, archived)
I just came back from lunch.
My friend bought it for me. Yay for him! We bitched and gossiped. It was ace.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:35, archived)
Impulse buys?
Impulse LIES more like.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:44, archived)
Oh no you DI -NNT!! *clicks fingers*

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:45, archived)
I NO RITE

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:50, archived)
You GO girlfriend!
*bodypops*
*crowd whoops*
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:51, archived)
once on impulse
I bought everything you did +1
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:01, archived)
There's a picture of Killing Joke playing live in Butlins, Minehead on page 42 of yesterday's NME.
The singer looks just like CHB.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:28, archived)
There's a picture of you on the cover this this month's Bizarre magazine.
You have a cauliflower in your bum and appear to have cat legs.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
No that's that ugly one out of bottom

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
It's CLEARLY broccoli,
God, you people.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:31, archived)
like this?
www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/toot2.gif
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:14, archived)
!
!


!
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:22, archived)
Did you have a lovely birthday, mister?

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
I go out drinking with Matt the Killing Joke manager.
Also I just ate a crushed tea cake that looked like your forehead
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:32, archived)
I once bought a snickers, and the pattern on the top looked just like Jesus Christ
I was about to be converted to Christianity.... but it tasted like shit
(likeajackhammer, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
monkey shit.
it's full of peanuts.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:51, archived)
I once bought a pork loin and it looked a bit Jewish. You should have see the pure horror on my face.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
Yeah?
That's all well and good but where's me jumper?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:32, archived)
is that Frank Sidebottom?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:33, archived)
(contains swears)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnCk0uGwFZI
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
Rock On London! Rock on Chicago!

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
I love Wesley Willis

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:38, archived)
Dreadful studentery

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
I'm a student and I keep my jumpers in my wardrobe.
I don't understand how he could lose his.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
Probably hidden under his palestinian scarf

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:36, archived)
YAY
I *heart* that song very much
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:41, archived)
The zenith of Irish culture

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:44, archived)
*Pings you right in the fucking Sultan. FC*

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:53, archived)
their first albums is great

(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
My joke is the highest rated on sickipedia today!
also yeah about your thing
(Peter_G, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
"your" joke?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
yep
I actually made this one up my self
(Peter_G, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:51, archived)
cool :)

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
If I did well in my GCSEs
then me getting the highest rated joke of the day on sickipedia would still be the best thing that happened to me this year.
(Peter_G, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:58, archived)
GCSEs eh?
*sidles up*
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
HAHA!
You read the NME!
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
Everyone is getting a bit tetchy.
Calm down and enjoy this crazy cat and these cleverly creased bits of paper.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:05, archived)
Oooh I like the paper
I bet his thumbs ache and he's got loads of paper cuts now though.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
Is clever.

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
good creasing

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
I am giggling so much I have to go for a walk.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:08, archived)
I am definitely tetchy.
but I wasn't earlier. This is criminal.
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
Here, have a look at some
pretty dresses.

It might cheer you up.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:11, archived)
Curvy.

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:12, archived)
the 2nd model down looks disgusted at something

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:16, archived)
Ha ha, she does.
She's probably just seen someone wearing primark.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:17, archived)
She's probably not happy
with the dress she's wearing.
I suspect that somebody told her that her bum does look big in it.
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:22, archived)
That's partly the point.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:25, archived)
I like the secretary one

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:27, archived)
Bah
the only one I loved is only available in small.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:19, archived)
is that too big for you?
Do they do them in childrens sizes?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:23, archived)
Right, that's it
I'm bored of being a cunt. I'm through. Niceness from here on in.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:24, archived)
No.
It's too small. Because I'm an interlard, though I strongly suspect if I was skinnier that there'd be two reasons I wouldn't fit into that dress.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:26, archived)
Hubba Hubba!
Massive feet.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:38, archived)
Email the lady about sizes.
The one I wanted is only in XS on the website but I got her to order another size for me.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:25, archived)
Can you order any of the models from the site? One is giving me the eye and making my trouser tumpet want to give her a bum note

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:28, archived)
what a remarkable turn of phrase

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:29, archived)
hello

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
hello to you too.

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
*ignores*
*makes rude gestures*
*knocks over your glass of squash*
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:11, archived)
hello MoT
how're you? Good I hope.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
I'm good.
I'm trying to be a bit fancy with my wording of a business report, but I'm currently failing.

How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:14, archived)
I'm very well thank you, I am working on a fairly tedious but not unpleasant catalogue.
Tonight I am meeting up with a friend. A potentially excellent day/evening.

I hope the report comes together well.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:17, archived)
Who wants some fisticuffs?
I'll take any one of you. Outside now.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
Queensbury's rules?
*tucks left hand into back of belt*
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:16, archived)
me!
I'll fight you!
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:28, archived)
Ha.
You're no match for me.

It'd be like punching a kitten.

Actually, that sounds fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
yeah. right.

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:31, archived)
Name a time and a place.
We'll do it.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:32, archived)
nope
I'd kill you
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
You might make me laugh so much I can't breathe and choke to death,
but that'd be it.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
Two hits
me hitting you
YOU HITTING THE FLOOR
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
Congratulations on winning QOTW without lying!
*Tips cap*
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
haha cheers

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:20, archived)
council job closing date was yesterday
and they haven't e-mailed me to tell me I've got it yet :(
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
+if

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
think positive

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:11, archived)
+ve

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:12, archived)
ha

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:13, archived)
Sometimes these things take a while.
Good luck.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
if it's a job with the council, it'll take weeks

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:12, archived)
this is why there is so much unemployment

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:16, archived)
The paper folding person
seems to like his staircases.
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:18, archived)
I'm not tetchy
I've just back from the gym and now I have lovely soup.
*happies*
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:29, archived)
Supermatt is almost a child rapist
QotW:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahhHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:41, archived)
Wormulus is almost funny.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:42, archived)
lies!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
I almost didn't spell VampierMonkeyOnSpeed wrong

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
So you are claiming that he *is actually* funny ?

(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:56, archived)
Alright patchwork tongue

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:57, archived)
Fuck no
Its come back again :(
the right half of it is "bald" again :(
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:00, archived)
You've got JMG TONGUE.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
I can assure you that
Its 100% mine. I have had no other tongues in my mouth, especially not JMG's
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:02, archived)
I'm almost a Supermatt rapist
God I hope this doesn't make me a paedo by proxy.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
Thats ok
You're obviously a paedo on your own steam
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
God I hope not.
I can't bloody stand kids.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
It's okay.
You could get them to lie down.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

I hope not
stand resist
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
*Hangs head in shame*

(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:01, archived)
Eugh.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
LOL BUMMING !

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
I wish I could post one of those smilies where the eyes whirl round in different directions.
You'll just have to imagine it.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
I just remembered this
www.b3ta.com/talk/6134512
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6134520
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5924292
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
I'm curious, how?
I like Supermatt lots. He's cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
I'm Fluzzy and I endorse this opinion

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
2nd and passed

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
Mykeyboy can almost resist a pie.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
I read this as
"Look at me, I'm hyperactive and bored"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
dingdingdingdingding
That's the sound of the irony alarm.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:46, archived)
Seb is almost a real barista

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
Only a few more years of training before I can make a flat white.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
are you at painter and decorator school?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
Nah, he's at Black Panther college

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
Pfffft.
Good wordplay there Gums!

*thumbs up*

Here, have a luchadore pug
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:57, archived)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D
fankoo :)
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:02, archived)
How long before you can make a skinny, double shot latte?
I quite fancy one of those.

Still I'm glad to see that your work has got you job training in Temple, you'll do so well in Apostrophe.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
Be silent witch!

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
I hand in my dissertation today.
Woo woo woo woo!

When do you get your barista certificate?
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
Oooh, congratulations :)

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:56, archived)
Still waiting for the certificate to come through?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
He's signed the register.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
The school register, next to the name of each child he almost raped?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
As well as the sex offenders register

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
Oh right,
that makes more sense. Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
ambisextrous

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
I'm almost accepted in polite society

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
You can almost reach the cans on the top shelf of the food cupboard.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
No I can't :(
I have to get one of those little stepping stools from Ikea. I was trying to hold off doing that but it's getting silly now. When FF isn't in the house, I can't reach a lot of stuff :(
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:56, archived)
stilts ftw

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:58, archived)
you won the bullies Qotw by the way.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:57, archived)
Mine is the very last best one, even though I was taking the piss...

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
This has made me so incredibly happy.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:04, archived)
Yeah, this is a great and original post

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:03, archived)
Yeeeeah.

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:06, archived)
I am almost an 8 stone weakling

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)
Almost, as in "I am almost as tall as Mount Everest".

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)
Relatively you are
to something infinitessimaly small, you might as well be as tall as mount everest in the same way that a billion light years is practically the same distance as a Billion, Billion light years.

Both are much too far to walk home after a session on the booze.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)
That's almost amusing.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)
How was the carvery, you miserable bastard?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:25, archived)
Shit.
And my farts stink today because of all the cauliflower cheese.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:26, archived)
YOU FUCKING PEAS-DOPHILE

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)
I didn't have any peas.
Peas are shit.
There is always a better option than peas.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:28, archived)
I BET YOU DE-CAULI-FLOWERED SOME YOUNG BOYS AND THAT

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:29, archived)
At least your expectations were met.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:29, archived)
Fuck this.
I'm going to SAINSWAYS to buy CHOCOLATE.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:30, archived)
I BET YOU FcarROT SOMEONES BUM

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:31, archived)
Carrots are shit.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:32, archived)
No
shit is shit.

Vegetables are ace, not understanding this is why you are a fat man.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:33, archived)
I like cauliflower.
And cabbage.
And gourdy veg.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)
But only when they are layered thinly on top of a lard and arse pie

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)
I'm almost attractive and good at sex.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)
I weigh 13 stone.
I shall crush you with the help of gravity.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)
Poof

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:23, archived)
I think the noise you'll make is more of a creaking sound, then a large crack,
rather than "poof".
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)
I'm twelve stone and quite feeble
Can I play?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)
Eat more protein, then

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:21, archived)
I almost eat nothing.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE CATLEGS
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:41, archived)
I'm almost decent

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:21, archived)
I almost bought Stevie Wonder a cheese grater for Christmas

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:23, archived)
that's very considerate of you
I heard his previous grater was broken.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)
Not so much broken
more that he'd read it so many times he was bored with the story.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)
I'm an 8 and a half stone weakling
most of that is Tea Weight, though.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)
Tea Weight Champeeen of the World;
Spang O'Lynn.

Rubbing her cr3men soaked fanny in baldmonkey's face.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:24, archived)
pfft at "cr3men"

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:25, archived)
Have a big poo and wash your fanny
you'll probably only be six stone then.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:24, archived)
is that an official boxing weight?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)
I'm now imagining her in a box
on some scales at the post office.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:28, archived)
yeah
above us are Hot Chocolate Weights and below are Glass of Water Weights.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
I've almost just followed through...
terrible golf swing.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)
The Boy George episode of The A Team was on the other day; "Cowboy George."
Unfortunately I didn't have time to watch it.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:25, archived)
I like to think I'm 10% B A Baracus 10% Hannibal 10% Murdock and 20% The Face & 50% Cher

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:29, archived)
No.
10% Russell Brand, 45% Cher, 30% a squeaky floor board and 15% impotent rage masked as friendliness.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:32, archived)
I'd put you down as 90% Ade Edmonson 10% Fritzl

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:32, archived)
I'd put you down.
Like a vet with a shit-cat.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:33, archived)
You would
in some pathetic, impotent dream sequence played out in your own head.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)
I almost would like to meet you again.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)
I'd almost get you in a headlock and fart in your hair

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)
You're 16% boiled potato, 81% jacket potato 3% cheese flux

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)
let's have a fight
I'm from Oldham don't you know.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:24, archived)
you're a lavender scented pansy
you'd try to scale me with crampons.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:26, archived)
you'd try and SPD my crotch to death.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:29, archived)
I'd tie you to the front forks of my bike
and use you as a "clacker"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:30, archived)
win

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)
that's a rubbish downhilling weight.
RUBBISH. eat pies.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:24, archived)
I was lying
this is the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:26, archived)
I've met you
I know.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)
Are you the one with the Popeye tattoo on your goolies ?

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:28, archived)
Is this a lie?
I can't tell what's real anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:30, archived)
Try here
www.b3ta.com/QOTW
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:31, archived)
It's true
Christmas bash a few years ago. he's about the size of Flappers. If he was 8 stone he'd be seethrough.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
I'm an internet fatty, yes I am.
*troughs lard and cakes*
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)
*pokes you with a stick*
*watches resultant jiggling*
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)
Now that's sexy, RIGHT there

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)
I call it
"bellydancing for the Internet generation"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

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