let's talk about bivvys

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

Yay!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

would you like a mongychops original t-shirt?

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

Absolutely.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

job done then, i'll make one

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

Hurray!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

Bivvys are shit.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)

Good note to end on.
Zip or velcro?
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)

both

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

There's no better way to spend the last 3 mins on /talk.
Reccomend me a bivvy. A starter bivvy, I'm not reallu up on the bivvy scene.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)

let's talk about you and me

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)

BIVVY BIVVY BIVVY

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

Surely you mean a Bivouac sack?
Common as muck, you.
( hoifbjifbef, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

Threadrush to be "last"? :-p
GO!

No, don't do that.

Does the bunker work? There is no way to register! :-(
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

Down from midnight?
Crikey, where will I bitch and moan now?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

OFFLINE

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

I'm gonna phone you, JMG

(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

No doubt something to do with you running off with Esme.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

You're all over /board

(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

But I can see their faces,
and their uninterested looks. At least I can pretend you all care.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

Let's all have one of those 100 people chats on msn?
They're exactly like /talk.
( Cae1, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

We'd break microsoft.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

The whole thing?

( Cae1, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)

Or, b3ta IRC
irc.bucketofbad.co.uk port 6666 channel #b3ta

or if you're lazy: b3ta.belm.co.uk/jirc change name once connected, in the bottom right of the app.

Or not.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Cliqr?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

Does that still exist?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

I'm going to go do something else.

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

I thought registration was locked until it was needed again.
Maybe it's back up at midnight.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

Maybe.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

What's the link?

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

It's a mobile phone shop
but that's not important right now.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

OH HAHA

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:57, archived)

Pffffffft

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

This update.
You know part of it is me being made a mod, right?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

Not a rocker?
:(
(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

OH FRIZ!
I'm sad to hear you won't be attending this b4sh that I am making an appearance at.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

I was unaware of any B45H
Like most of them, I suppose
(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

It's the Hood Butter b45h
In August.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

It's already all kicking off.
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19691#post19998
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

They're a tough crowd.

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

BAD JMG
www.b3ta.com/board/9537922
(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

BEEP BEEP TOOT

(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

BEEP BEEP TOOT WHYAYE BEEP

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

PICK A LANE, PET

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

I totally replied to that.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

Ah
Wish I had the cash.

Or if I knew somebody from Newcastle who happens to be goi-

OH WAIT!
(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

HUBARE!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

is he driving?
In a big dome-shaped car with the registration plate "B4LD"
(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

Some say we pull over at dole offices up and down the land to just fuel up on giro books.
It's an amazing vehicle.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/board/9537922

(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

People are so fucking shit.
I love how people say "ooh, you can count on me any time!" and then when you actually need them they're too busy cooking fucking dinner and doing laundry to come to your aid.

Fuck people. With their wavy hair and beady eyes.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Yeah', muv-ver.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

it's only an erection
i am not helping you out again so deal with it yourself!
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

I'm already worked up.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

shame
i'm a rocker
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Is it true that you lost to Soujaboy in Maddain Football ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

I'm not 100% sure who that is.
But the odds are in favour, on the issue.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Oh man, I thought you were all up in the 360 scene.
www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=soulja+boy+360&aq=f
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

Get in.

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Wow, just imagine the online fallout!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Oh and I just got here too.
How long will it be down?
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

you should have your own board too

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

On that note
I'm off to bed.

Goodnight.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Don't spoil the magic

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Oh don't you just know how to make the internet cross!
There would be terrible backlash if you were to become a mod.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

CONGRATULATION!

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

Just the one?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

i'm not that excited
it's only the internet
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

not another mod, this place has too many

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:43, archived)

i'm off to watch in bruges
and some more boston legal, have a nice week b3ta!

Q1: what will you be doing with the rest of your week?
Q2: do you have any tips for me avoiding a massive shopping trip on sunday with my gf?

*some bollocks about maintenance here*
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

give her some money, to buy something for YOU
tell her you want a surprise, and she should enjoy herself..

edit: see below, rape her
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

working
rape her violently
( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

Q1 Glastonbury muthafucker
Q2 Swine flu
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

hasn't that started already?
I thought it was supposed to cover the solstice.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

It's meant to cover the gaps in the BBC2 schedule this weekend.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Surely that's what Wimbledon is for?

( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

No it starts on wednesday,
It seems to care more about the weekend than the solstice.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

my brother will be there
if i give you photos can you make sure he doesn't come back please
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

SWINE FLU!
ARRRGH! SWIIINE FLUUUUUU! *runs around in a mindless panic*
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

I'm off to Mexico in 3 weeks.
It's gonna fuck me up.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

I've got customers who came back last week.
None of them were dead. You'll be fine.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

You're a bloody good travel agent, getting your customers back safe and sound.
I salute you sir.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

I'm going to reassure customers with this review.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

A1. Off to Newcastle to sort my life out
A2. No. Man up, and you might get some loving in return. She is the only woman who would look at you anyway.
(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Have we reached a point where the internet has decided I'm having your baby or vice versa?
It's on the cards.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

Pickle Fairy being the mother is 4/1 apparently

(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Because I banged her

(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Oh, and me being pregnant in the face is 3/1
Because I've a fat face
(__, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Fraud
Swine flu
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

1 - Working
2 - Overthrow capitalism/shit in her cunt
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

Q1: Srs Bzns & 50C4L plnz
Q2: Tell that ho', where to go, where to go, where to go. Tell that ho', where to go, and put her in her place.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

JAI HO!

( ArthurTheRat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Working and wasting my days off.
Find a new girlfriend who hates shopping and spending money on herself. Good luck.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Q1, Working.
Q2 - Feign illness, but giver her a chunk of money to spend on herself because you feel so awful about not being able to go. She'll be too busy plotting the purchase of many pairs of shoes to notice your subterfuge.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

your use of the word plotting
brings all my shopping fears back to the front of my mind, in reality of course shoeshopping will be accompanied by handbags, cushions, presents for relatives "that dress i think i might look out for oh but i'm not sure if i want it yet or should i wait, what do you think of this one but i don't really like it now anyway" and "but i don't mind...where would you like to go for lunch?"
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

1. Working nights. If the management get their arses in gear.
2. Punch her in the face, show her who's boss. She's probably cheating on you anyway.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

Working.
Set every shop she likes on fire.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

Exam tomorrow, free for ever then :D

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

That's a great feeling
I'd *almost* be prepared to take another exam to feel the joy of ending again.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

I'm never going to take another exam as long as I live.
Last one was a month ago and I scraped a pass.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

I said that 20 years ago
but now I'm tempted.

Well done on the scraped pass though. They were my speciality.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

I said it 10 years ago too
But if life throws opportunities at you, it would be daft to ignore them.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

Smear?

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

You just reminded me.
I'm overdue on that.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

I'm here to help

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

I think I was trying to forget.

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

In Bruges is a great film
Q1 - working.
Q2 - Find a shop you like and stay there. Say you'll meet her later for lunch. You will be buying.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

were you sort of pointing at the screen with a stare that says "i shall kill you if you do not comply"
whilst typing 'you will be buying'?

i've seen half of it(i think) so i'll be watching the rest
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Yes I was.
If you get what you want you have to be prepared to pay for it.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

q1: killing
q2: killing
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

1 hour left
Your best single hour ever, what were you doing?
Go.
( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

This is just leaving the place open to QOTW standard lies here :(
BAD INTERNETTING TY&GN
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

I live in hope of the truth

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

Yay, my people phoned me back
Now i get to do work and not reply to you all, sorry
( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

Argh, I fucking hate people that are labelled "IT people"
who turn out to be shit with computers.
( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

It annoys me when people call me a "computer person"
when I switch off their screensaver, or something.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

Bugger me.
So I go to install the software, only to find that the last archive they have of their data is from August 2008 :(
( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

That's quite a while

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

Has somebody warned 90nz0?
He honestly might fall to bits if this site goes down.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Shh, I think the plan is to tell him it's his internet...

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

Best save that one to people who post more than you on here....
www.b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html

There are a whole 9 of them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

90nz0.
You're Mr B3ta.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

In a "Mrs Callifornia" competition sense?
Yeah', you're right, I am the hawtest playah in da house.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Oh god, I recognise all those names.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

Probably high.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

There's gonna be a threadrush to get the last post i bet, even though we won't be able to see it

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

I got one of those memory foam pillows today
so I'm looking forward to a good nights sleep for once
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

So, are they actually supposed to work?
We'll know tomorrow.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Diddling Anne Widdecombe

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

I was hoping she'd get the speakers job
just so I could giggle at her shouting in the chair
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

I've been reading Wikipedia since half past two.
Just when you think you're closing more tabs than you're opening at last, you suddenly end up back with 15 of them again.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

What have you learnt?

( Jobe, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Tardigrades can survive in space for ten days.
Pluto has got three moons. Pluto is brown. Pluto is a bit like an enormous comet and would get a tail if you put it into the Earth's orbit. A space probe will reach pluto in 2015.
The oldest exoplanet discovered so far is 12.6 billion years old.

And many other things.
I now have a picture of the Milky Way Galaxy produced by NASA from space telescope data as my desktop wallpaper.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

That's some good learning. I approve.
*googles Tardigrades*

Funny little things. Means slow walker. And was originally called kleiner Wasserbär. Interesting. Who would have known...
( Jobe, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

oh and in 2000 it rained fish in Great Yarmouth.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

Last night I was playing that game where you have to get from one article to another in the fewest number of steps
I got from endive to baritone in 6 steps
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

I'm gonna head off to C4mbodia

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

i've still got an account there, but i'm going to sleep

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

I've heard it's a wonderful place to go
for a flounce holiday.
( lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Off-road driving in Cuba while eating freshly picked bananas.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Filth

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

maybe this is all a trick and they really ARE shutting down talk?

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Rob's massive ginger conspiracy, maybe.
*Fears*
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

I'm sure there must be SOMEONE with enough money to save us.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

Jahled.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

oh if only we hadn't been rude to him!

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

f5ing

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

Two weeks after my A levels had finished
smoking and drinking in the sun behind the cricket pavillion.

Life will never be as great again.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

My browser just spent 18 minutes trying to refresh this page.
In which time it chewed up 8 GB of virtual memory and caused Windows to bomb out with a fatal error. Brilliant.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

which browser?
cos it must be pretty shit to have a memory leak such as that
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

Firefox.
I'm going to get rid of it if I find one better, it does this all the fucking time.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Those hippies at Microsoft have a free one you can download

( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Banging a headmistress up the arse.
In Cambridge.
( sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

JMG.
What are you gang banging thugs up to at this time a Monday night?
Please, no fatty moaning.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

Low-riding and slapping bitches.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

do you work at Battersea Dogs Home?

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

Don't tell my manager.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

I'm at work.
Waiting for a phone call, so I can reinstall some software on someone's PC
( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

I'm fucking bored!

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

To be honest,
that does sound really, really boring.

I'm not surprised you're here.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

who's da man with a master plan?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

GMoS! Probably.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

working from home tomorrow
offering 10k to any db developer who can do what i need
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

What do you need?

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

if it's SQL Server and less than 3 month contract then give me a shout

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

ok.. can´t message you via your profile
and tbh.. i just don´t trust you.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

dunno, only just got in from work

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

You think any of these fat wankers are inclined towards or physically capable of "banging"?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

OHH FAT INTERNET!
Nobody likes you.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

jmg bangs on the dole

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

I can't fail but confirm this.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Drinking wine.
Answering emails. making sandwiches. Thinking about going to bed.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

How many hands do you have?!

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

I multitask.
Badly.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

I´m just about to leave the office having done a whole hours work today.
Frankly, I´m shattered.
( broadsword, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

*Standing ovation*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

I bet that whole hour involved eating cream cakes

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

i'm currently waterskiing in an attempt to chase down and interrogate a russian spy on a speedboat

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

A typical Monday night tussle.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

all in a day's work

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

sccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhplendid

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

waiting for black books and arrested development to finish downloading
there might be some peep show in there too
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

Cancel Black Books and Peep Show.
Arrested Development is all you need.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

man can not live by riches to rags family alone
he needs drunken irishmen and awkward social commentary with slight homosexual overtones too
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

Failing to escape Hackney
again.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

launch yourself from a catapult

( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

Tried that
landed in Dalston.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Try gunfire and a Segal-esque escape.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Might be worth a go
they're a bit shooty round here, though.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

'Sup

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Nuthin'

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

7up

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

Weird, cos my reply isn't there anymore
and I didn't delete it :o
( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

Yeah i've knocked a few out but it still won't go down.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

How many new posts can we fit in an hour and half?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

11

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

POST POST POST
NEVER STOP
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

Hold it on high and reach the top

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

oh god im having an s club 7 flashback

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

Did he "bring it all back"?

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

He never had a dream come true
Have you ever?
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

FUN LIGHTGUY FACT NUMBER 12
on one of the s club songs they used lots of children as backup singers

I WAS ONE OF THOSE CHILDREN

edit: it should be pointed out that i never got to meet any of them, my primary school was asked to provide children for vocals and my class was chosen, we just sang and went home again
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

Liebot are you telling us a lie?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

this is a solid gold truth

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

YOU WOULD SAY THAT.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

if only there were some fable teaching us the importance of not telling lies!

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

the story of Jesus:
lie and you get crucified
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

there ain't no flashback
like an s club flashback
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

I thought they were reforming
but I haven't heard anything since
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

I think we should have none

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

As long as they don't have to contain anything new or potentially interesting, probably lots

( WormuIus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

Aggravated, pseudo-ironic internet fiction doesn't count.
Sorry.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

I don't know
I just don't know.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

Don't know, don't care
cos I'm off to bed.
( CowJam, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

Frankly my dear i don't give a damn

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

hopefully, not many
/thanks to all who added to the Builder's Film Club thread,
really cheered me up reading that :)
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

it was rather good
i can't remember having seen that many replies to a post that wasn't a brand new thread
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

Best pun thread so far.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

The Silence Of The Hammerdrills

( broadsword, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

I got as far as 'Silence of the Jambs' with that one

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

Haaa

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

sorry I just missed it

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

go for it, it's still down there
/and still getting added to :)
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

It's still down there and it's very good.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

snakes on a plane
bindun?
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

Builder's Bum and Dumber

(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

It's almost a shame it was a subthread!
Who would have known it would have gone on to be such a hit?

I'd prepare your tuxedo for the cr3 end of year "Post of the year" awards!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

I'm loving /talk more and more :)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

It's great when it's like this!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

We could go for an all board pun thread in the bunker, when the maintenance kicks off.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

Man, this actually sounds really gay.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

but oh so tempting

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

More than you!

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

I'm listening to Limp Buizkit.
I feel I should be drinking cidar in the park with all the cool kids, to do this.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

Cool kids wouldn't listen to Limp

( magnum, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

cool
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

I really like them and don't understand why many people have such a hatred for them.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

Why not focus on how many interesting conversations or discussions on points of interest we can have
or how many new things we could learn?
( magnum, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

I dunno, but I'd like to see everyone stop posting for an hour or so after the maintenance is done.
Make them think that they've fucked B3ta up.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

I'd like to see everyone except glued eel and Lightguy banned.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

It's an impossible dream.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

bend over and we'll find out

( scott,, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

Gate or lamp?

( broadsword, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

both

( scott,, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

WOO 7000000!!!!11!11!!!!!! \m/(*-*)\m/

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

I wonder if I can hit 20,000 before it goes down

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Maybe

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

good luck!

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

It sure is possible

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

Only about 655

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

Did you delete that thread about the person at your uni who died?
From ages ago...
( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

I don't think so...

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

I was looking for my horibbly controversial reply
but I can't find it
( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

Hmmm...
I'll have a poke.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/5675024
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

how many DICKS can your mum.. oh wait
no idea
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

So what would YOU like to see on here after the maintenance?
Alternatively.

What's your least favourite ache?
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:15, archived)

Anything that's not grey!

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)

That's for the ache as well

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)

will blue do?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)

I'd take it

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)

I'd like to see spangly backgrounds
Neck
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)

I'd like to see snowflakes
to remind us that it's neally xmas
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)

With a daily countdown of the days

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

holidays.bfn.org/xmas/countdown.html
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:22, archived)

That's beautiful, man

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:25, archived)

That's a bit creepy :(

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

anus

( the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)

Poets, despite millenia of probing the misery, torture and pain associated with love
have yet to truly encompass the all-embracing agony of toothache
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)

404

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)

best Peugeot ever

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:18, archived)

PAPA!

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

FRENCHCARADVERTFAIL :(

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:24, archived)

i always liked the quizzical looking front ends of the 504 and 505
when i was a kid, they were one of the few cars where the front end looked expressive. like a face
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:25, archived)

but what about Herbie?

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

It's all going to be in colour, and the pink bar is a tester.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)

Crackwhores

( broadsword, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)

Presently it's back ache.
Normally it's period pains. The worst pain I ever had though was when I had pleurisy. Drylungwalltastic
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)

Pluri-what?

( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:18, archived)

it's like singularisy
only there's more of it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:19, archived)

*titter*

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:21, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pleurisy
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:19, archived)

I was there already
Sounds healthy!
( TY&GN, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

My dad's had that, and he's got half the number of lungs that you've got!
He's terribly hard, yet has never owned a Honda Accord. That's proper IRL toughman stuff there.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:23, archived)

It's probably just a server migration
or a database tidy up instead of a wholesale sexy up
( magnum, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)

Shut up you fun sponge.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

A FUCKING UNICORN POPS UP EVERY TIME YOU WRITE IN CAPS
AND A 19TH CENTURY SAILING SHIP SHOOTS IT'S CANNON AT YOUR FACE WHEN YOU POST MORE THAN 50 POSTS A DAY
( magnum, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:21, archived)

Where has my face gone?
CANNON
( magnum, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:26, archived)

Much better.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:26, archived)

My knees give me some horrible gyp if I crouch down for more than a few seconds at a time.
I dread to think what they'll be like by the time I hit 40. Knowing my luck, I'll probably be in a wheelchair by then.

Also, getting hit in the bollocks results in a very dull but painfully intense ache that's quite undesirable.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:18, archived)

that's gout
sign of an unhealthy diet
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:19, archived)

Isn't gout a more general joint-related phenomenon?
I only get this in my knees. It could well have something to do with my knees taking about 3/4 of my body weight.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:22, archived)

try something else instead of the doggy position on the carpet in front of the tv

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:25, archived)

toothache beats anything

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:18, archived)

SHUT THE FUCK UP, SAMMI, YOU MONGFACED WHINGER.
Oh, sorry.
( Druid, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:21, archived)

Super
Porn

EDIT

Also when I dislocated my collarbones, the ache that resulted was not pleasant.
(The Marsh man of 1004 holds, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

swine flu

( epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

Tape Measure of the Sierra Madré

( Druid, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

I'm quite proud of that one.

( Druid, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:23, archived)

I don't get it

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A THICKY THICKY NORTHERN TYPE

( Druid, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

The Count Of Monte Castorama

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

Toothache.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:21, archived)

140 character limits

( ArthurTheRat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:23, archived)

hahaha

( CowJam, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:29, archived)

A popular page full of the Builder's film titles down below :)

/and tootchache, although I suffer from worse headaches. Toothache is harder to control.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:23, archived)

I'll get clicking.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:24, archived)

haha, cheers :)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:26, archived)

I SAID TAPE MEASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRÉ UP THERE, IT'S A GREAT ONE.

( Druid, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:29, archived)

what's it doing 'up there'
it should be 'down there' with the rest of 'em
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

I was making a point that it's still going on y'see.
I'm adding others down there :)
( Druid, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

I'VE CLICKED THAT, YOU SHITE.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

Thank you.

( Druid, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

I'm hoping for AUTOKAWAIIPOSTMAKERS ^-^
KAWAIIIIIII!!!!! ^u^
( Druid, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:25, archived)

Arseache.
For both questions.
( nick the greek, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:26, archived)

Shitting out your bumhole isn't that bad, you've already done the bleeding and didn't notice it.
It's the shock of looking down a bright red toilet bowl with blackish-red middle.

But it does clear your intestine so you can bleed in a bit more, so you get a bit tired.

Lovely stuff, what's for dinner?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:27, archived)

)c:

( CowJam, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)

a blog filter
so any blog posts get sent to the poster's blog instead of put on here
( CowJam, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)

bollock ache

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)

more finger guns and winks
*finger guns*

*winks*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

peeyow peeyow

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

Cock Tuesday
Every day.
( WormuIus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

headache
I have several a day that start just above my eye and move round the side of my head - not good, especially when driving!
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

a bit like cowjam's suggestion
a sort of filter that reveals lies and made up bollocks in a different colour
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

So what are you going to do at midnight instead then?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN WITH ME.
:(((
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:15, archived)

No, we aren't done with that thread yet.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:15, archived)

I might be in bed
Truth is I'll probably be pissing on the bathroom floor thinking it'll be fine until the morning
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:15, archived)

Instead of what?
I'll be asleep, unless I try and sleep and can't like last night.
( magnum, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)

FUCK
lesson to every bloke

DO NOT put washing up liquid in the washing up machine...

I now have to mop up all the bubbles in the kitchen where it´s flooding. Anyone else ever done something similar? I thought it would help with some tough stains :(*

*a girl perioded on me the other week and the stains won´t budge
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)

No, you spastic.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)

I was told by an old woman that a bit helps :(
i´m not a spastic....
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

Really?
Because that sounds like the sort of thing a spastic would do.

"LOOK MUMMY, I ARE HELPING!"
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)

Spastic is too nice for you.
You're an ultramegamong.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

;/

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

There really arent any bloody sheets are there?
This is just a "LOOK AT ME, I DONE TOUCHED A GIRL LOLZ!!" type post isnt it.
( Dobsky, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

.. i´m nearly 28...

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

Give up
You're only making things worse.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

Well, duh

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

This is a convoluted attempt to point out that you did sex with a girl.
I CALL LIES.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

it didnt last long

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

why were there dishes involved? i must be getting old

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

You mean you've never tried it with dishes?
YOU'RE SO SHIT AT SEX I BET YOU'RE A VIRGIN.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)

am not, i'm always getting my best china out and giving it to girls up there noo noos all over it
once i had my hand in a bra whilst drinking from a saucer, and that
( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

Just cos you can get a dinnerplate in sideways
and then slurp it out like a bemucoused frisbee, there's no need to boast
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

Ping pong balls are so last year.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

It's an Ashes summer. Cricket balls are where it's at this year.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

sticky wickets!

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

*lofts a six out of the ground*
*removes helmet and raises bat to pavilion*
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

*readies self*

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

FUCKING BRACE THA SEN ETHEL!!
/Yorkshire foreplay
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)

I bet he's12 too.
The 12-year-old virgin.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

i'm 15 actually, and claire philips said i can finger her next week, with my willy

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

12 AND A VIRGIN.
VIRGIN.

VIIIIIIIIR. GIIIIIIINNNNNNNN. GIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN. GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

what? the? fuck? are? you? banging? on? about?
i wish to leave my work and go home, bloody edf wankers
( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

i fucking hate EDF

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

so do i, 11 hours i've done now, still counting

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

We did a project for them a few years ago.
Long story short was that they forgot to register their cable easements over unregistered land, and then when the deadline was approaching where they would cease to take effect, they lodged the lot and demanded that it was all done at an impossible rate :(

Bad times.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

very sad times

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

They're cunts to deal with from an insurance point of view.
I've had blatant lies from them, telling me that they're in attendance, when I've got the farmer on the other line, standing near the field containing a live cable, electrocuted cows and no EDF workers to be seen for miles.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

I bet Mongy would have turned up.
BEEFY FUN TIEM.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

Haha best thread ever.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

What the fuck?
Washing up machine? Dishwasher or washing machine?

And did you have real life sex with a menstruating woman? Really? And her menstrual blood stained you?

I don't believe you.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

blood came out half way through
at the time i didn´t care cos i was wasted

but in the morning when i was putting the duvet in a binbag... well i´ve never barfed so much in my life
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

So you put the duvet in the bin
But you're only just washing everything else now. What?
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6245469
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

He's full of shit. Utterly full of shit.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

Thought so

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

?

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

Blood came out halfway through enough to stain sheets? No it didn't.
It doesn't go from nothing to a tidal wave.

And you chucked away the duvet but are trying to save the sheets?
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

You mean you didn't pick her up whilst she was still impaled on your knob
and waddle to the bathroom so she deposit the salty bloody yoghurt in the shower tray rather than the bedlinen? I'm calling shenanigans, you fat fucking fraud.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

FOR FUCKS SAKE
IT WAS DOGGY STYLE AND IT WAS DARK

I ONLY NOTICED A SHADOW GROWING UP HER ARSE CHEEK AND IT TOOK A WHILE TO SINK IN

fucking cunt
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

Aww someone is getting angry

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

you mean you can't lift a girl up from the doggy position?
What feeble little weiner are you?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

Nope. More lies.
I bet you did her without a condom as well, you tit.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

Should you use a condom when having period sex?
Or are you talking about the pregnancy/STD bit?
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

Going upwards?
Unless my understanding of doggy style is considerably different to yours, the cervix is usually lower than the arsecheeks in this particular position.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

Ha, she shit herself.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)

Exactly.
It's not hard to get off sheets, and frankly if it happened a couple of weeks ago and he's only just washing them, then eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww :(
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

the stains will never budge
sew a patch over the affected area. buy a ferret to hide the smell
( spacefish bong!, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)

Washing up liquid in the cistern, always a treat for the unsuspecting WC user :)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

+ a bottle of red food dye.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

that's taking cruel to 'evil'
/mind you, years ago I did have to prevent some Uni mates from shaving off another mates eyebrows while he was passed out drunk.
I explained to them it's better to shave off just one. When he wakes up in the morning, he's left with an agonisng choice. Pencil the other one in, or shave the other one off himself.
They called me evil for suggesting that, but they did it anyway.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Also, don't wash your car with washing up liquid
not only does it strip off all the waxes you've polished on, but the mild salt content acts as both an abrasive and corrisive to the paintwork. So don't fucking do it, you nonce.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

Also, check quantity of washing liquid to put in machine, even if the instructions are in forrin
/had a foamy kitchen a couple of months ago
( broadsword, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

:D
nice fellow guiri

we should meet for a beer in a couple weeks.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

You heading over this way?
I´m gonna go to Gibraltar at some point, not sure when ´cos I need to borrow a car.
( broadsword, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

you don´t need a car
the coach systems are awesome

like 4 euros for me to go tarifa

so it´ll be like 6 to gibraltar... get off in la linea and walk across.

well worth the trip, gaz me i´ll give u my number if you´re ever in the area so we can go to an internet cafe and log onto /talk
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

I'm going to bully you because I want to fit in and be cool.

( Bats, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

I'm going to side with you, as i seek acceptance and wish to be part of a gang

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

I'm going to disagree with popular opinion just for the hell of it.
I don't have the faculties to form an opinion of my own, but I want attention and I'll be damned if I'll admit to actually being the office-bound dullard I am in real life.

/comment on a general trend, not a specific pop at you
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Blood stains need soaking
in warm soapy water with a little ammonia in.

/learnin' from me gangster past

on a similar note eBay has sold me the ingredients to make this
( chuff monkey I AM him, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

COLD WATER.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

I've done this
and had no bubbles or mopping
maybe your washing machine is defective
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

Maybe he's defective

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

won't budge?
have you tried using washing up liquid?
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

Fairy!

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

Don't dishwashers use stronger stuff anyway, like boiling caustic soda?
/ex-potwasher
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

And this, ladies and gentleman, is the differance between a Virgin with or without a sister.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

For fucks sake

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)

Yup.
Bubble bath in the jacuzzi. Waited ten seconds. Nothing. Load more and oh there we are.

Flooded the bog.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

haha :D

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:19, archived)

Hello.
I went to see Drag Me To Hell last night with FF, Druid and Druid's housemate, The King Of The Pigeons.

I was enjoying up until about 20 minutes before the end and Druid leaned over and whispered something that proved to be a massive plot spoiler. He'd guessed what was going on and decided to tell me, the cunt. I gave him a dig when we went to the pub afterwards.

Have you had films ruined by people guessing what's coming and telling you?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)

I'm the cunt who does that to other people
also, when I watch films in cinemas here, I'm always the first (and sometimes the only) person laughing whilst the audience loses something from reading subtitles.

Yes, it's true folks, I laugh sometimes.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

You fucking liar.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:56, archived)

The Passion of The Christ was ruined for me because I read the ending in a book :(

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:45, archived)

The Sixth Sense
Guy behind me exclaimed to his girlfriend 'It's getting close to the bit I told you about, you know, when you find out he's a ghost'.

not quietly enough, sadly :(.

Mind you, slightly better than last night. Went to see Transformers 2, and 5 mins before the end, the screen blacked out and sound shut off for the best part of 10 mins. They had to realign the tape or some such twaddle. When it came back on, there was only 5 mins left. And the f*ckers didn't have the air con switched on.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:46, archived)

Double F guessed that in The Sixth Sense
but he didn't tell me what it was.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)

my girlfriend of the time ruined that film for me by leaning over and whispering the spoiler excitedly
so i punched her in the stomach
( spacefish bong!, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

had you decided on a name for it at that point?

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

voltan was going to be named voltan

( spacefish bong!, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

Yes, probably
I also like watching Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow as I'm unsure when to laugh unless I can see someone who was in Big Brother 3 laughing.
( magnum, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)

Tip - laugh at Michael McIntyre when the intonation in his voice goes down

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:51, archived)

I don't think he's that funny.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:52, archived)

*FIVES*
Neither do I. Slightly chucklesome at best.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)

He's OK
and has some funny stuff, but if you took away his enthusiasm then I expect he wouldn't be so popular. Also, he's asking for £27 a ticket for his theatre tour currently, I saw him for £17.50 last year. Generally those who I've seen who have been over £20 are usually shit.
( magnum, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:56, archived)

I want to break his fucking legs
every time he comes skipping on stage. Or says the next comic is his single favourite comedian EVER, for everyone he introduces.
( Dobsky, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)

well said B'Star
he's a walking embarassment for a comedian
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

I guessed that they were the same person in fight club
but onlt slightly before it revealed it anyway.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:50, archived)

Thanks for revealing that
I haven't seen the film yet. I suppose it's my own fault as it's been out a while, just one of those things I never got round to.
( magnum, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:54, archived)

I had the Watchmen spoiled for me
when the matey sat next to me shushed me
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:51, archived)

Just about the opposite really.
I went to see an outdoor performance of Romeo and Juliet. When Juliet put forward her plan to avoid marriage so she could run off with Romeo by taking a sleeping draught to appear dead, a small girl turned to her mother and said in a loud voice 'that's a really good idea'. Nobody told her.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)

SHE'S IN THE ATTIC!
/FF
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:55, archived)

That's a mash up I'd like to see
Anne Frank vs Romeo and Juliet.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

"Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo"?
"Up here. In the attic"
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

I guessed every twist that M Night Shamalamadingdong ever wrote before he was even born.
And I didn't even realise the twist in the crying game was meant to be a twist.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:55, archived)

My mum ruins EVERY detective show or whodunnit.
She has an uncanny knack of spotting the guilty party, even if the plot twists more than Druid's mind at an under 21's disco.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:55, archived)

I hate people who do that
One of my friends tries to guess every twist to everything. Bugs the hell out of me.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

I took apart the door of my car to see why the electric window wasn't working
to find that the motor was absent and the glass held up with the sawn-down handle of a shovel.

What bodges have you implemented, Commando style, to ease your way through life?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

Has it never worked,
Or did it only stop working recently?
( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

I only bought it a month back
it was one of the "niggling little flaws" that forced the price down.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

Leaky toilet + gaffer tape = a few extra days of toilet functionality

( epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

virtually anything can be fixed (temporarily) with gaffa tape

( sleepybinky, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

If it moves and you don't want it to = Gaffer tape
If it doesn't move and you want it to = WD40
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:33, archived)

My friend's four year old came home from the childminders with WD40 in his hair the other week.
It's not as blonde now:(
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:36, archived)

Ha ha!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:45, archived)

my computer is made out of cardboard and an awful lot of catgut

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

I can't get an erection so I've fashioned my own bespoke "pencil and bit of string" device to add rigidity.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

I know someone who tried to repair a valve amplifier by Blutacking the glass cover back on a valve
while it was plugged in

high-voltage DC makes for great electric shocks
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

fucking hell

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:18, archived)

Bzzzztastic!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:35, archived)

I stitched myself up using Fire Ants

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

My trousers are only held up by my permantly errect willy.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

you mean you popped it into one of the little brass rivets on your Levi's?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

Phwoar

( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

Evenin' Jude :)
Did you get my email ok?
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Yes
work was mental today. We may take you up on your offer...I will mail you tomorrow.
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

no worries m'dear :)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)

cos it's thinner than a safety pin and goes through the fabric better?
/suddenly realises I'm signed up to your Summer Bash

//retracts statement
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Arf

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:33, archived)

Ha ha! Yes! Are you going as well! GET IN!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:35, archived)

I sincerely hope so
I've signed up, and have heard only good things about the Butter's bash.
it's also at a better time of year for me to attend bashes :)
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)

Me too
Trains are all booked and everything!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)

excellent, be good to see you again fella

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)

IT'S NOT FAIR
I'm not allowed to come as I sign the register for the civil partnership that day...
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

bah, but it's all for the best though,
future life together, and all that :)
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:49, archived)

At least I'll be seeing a few of you a month or so later :)

( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)

Duct tape + glue gun
= hundreds of bodgy fixes in my house.
( chuff monkey I AM him, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

+ many, many hours of sexy fun.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

glue guns,
also for teh gheys
( chuff monkey I AM him, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)

When the damp-course failed, I purchased a whole shelf's worth of bog paper and stuffed it in the wall.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

If you'd have added flour
Then you would have nicesolid paper mâché when it had dried
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Indeed.
Hello. As an ex-resident of Donny, do you know what Woodlands (up near Redhouse at the end of the A1(M)) is like as a neighbourhood?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

I have no idea
Does that help?
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:25, archived)

If, and when I ever get round to writing anything of note, I will dedicate it to gaffer tape
'For holding it all together for me'
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:14, archived)

i'd rather not say to be honest, but the newish wing of great ormand street hospital isn't all that if you scratch the surface
or the british libary, people had yellow, red and black pens to colour in the exposed copper on wires
( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:15, archived)

Oooh no, I've mounted signs on the wall in the British library
Drilled holes and everything. Did I nearly die? Wouldn't have surprised me though.
St Thomas' is a bit like that. Maintenance areas are always the worst!
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:38, archived)

you can revitalise the dying buttons of old mice with a bit of card.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:16, archived)

I think they're generally called nipples when you're talking about rodents.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:17, archived)

I can't secure the back of my reclining chair.
So I have it jammed up against a wall.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:20, archived)

I've done the same thing
I do it for comfort and I rest my legs on my bed.

But the plaster on my wall has totally crumbled where I lean on it. Oops.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:49, archived)

There's not much in a house that can't be fixed
using insulation tape, super glue, staplers and wire coat hangers.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:21, archived)

That's how I fixed the last pregnancy.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

is this some sort of abortion clinic thing?

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:24, archived)

My room is a long oblong and when ~i instlaled my projector I built a sort of canvas thing to hang off the fron of the cupboard

( WormuIus, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)

I lost the top for my Lava Lamp
I replaced it with a deodorant cap
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)

the insides of my playstation
are held together with gaffa tape
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)

The eject slider on my PS2 is reconstructed from a pencil eraser

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)

nice
very McGuyver
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:47, archived)

I've just arrived and I notice there is a message in a pink bar.
I figure no one will have mentioned it already, so I'm doing my bit and pointing it out to you.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)

This maintenance thing could end up the 'end of the b3ta world' etch-a-sketch.
they just scrub it all and start again.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)

I hope the "I Will Kill Myself In 15 Minutes" guy comes back
at 11:55.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)

Oooh, have I missed something funny while I was away?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

'Twas on this very site
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/oxfordshire/8109329.stm
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

this site has really gone downhill.
back in the day, someone would 'shop a kitten with a gun.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

That's a bit shit
I mean, anyone worth their salt around here would have said "Fuck off then, you emo tart" or some such. This is very disappointing.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

it was almost indubitably on /off-topic
that mollycoddled pool of floaters, liars and retards
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)

I bet the fucker was sat there waiting for the rozzers,
As soon as he saw them he slipped the rope around his neck and stuck his tongue out.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)

Keep going ... I'm nearly there.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)

I'm too good
Two pumps and a squirt. I'm on a hair trigger these days.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

They still mocked him,

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)

But then they'd receive a flood of hysterical abuse and death-threats from the OK! Magazine crowd.
Swings and roundabouts.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)

You might be right

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)

I see it's on /board too, so that whining nonce won't be swanning over here again, crowing about how much money he could have donated to keep this place going.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

you'll have to narrow that field down a bit...

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

I forgot his name.
The one who say people are teenagers or in a clique if he can't think of a good comeback. Looks a bit like a rapey version of Billy Connolly.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)

again, you'll have to narrow that field down a bit ;)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

This ^
I was worried I might've been sleep-crap-insulting again.
( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:54, archived)

I hope no one starts being horrid and parodies his thread over there.
Over and over again.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

Oh I don't think he'd like that at all.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)

rob?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

I suggested they re-design b3ta as an image challenge.
I hold that much sway here, Rob's bowed to my demands.

www.b3ta.com/questions/imagechallenge/post457336 SEE????
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

it's in pink to make the site appeal more to ladies

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

and gays.
so, everybody then.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

not me
i'm a total testosterone machine
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

you're desperate to keep up the pretence.
We all know you Love The Cock really.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

i odn't LOVE THE COCK
i just need hard penis in me all the time, there's a big difference
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:31, archived)

a big, hard difference?

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)

a massive, hard undulating and sparkly difference

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

I've just arrived too and you are the only person whose thread I have read and one of the only names I recognise
so I'm going to validate your online existence by replying and saying something wacky, you omelette-inspired flywheel.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

I'm replying to you, because I crave recognition from a grown up.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

I'm making a crumble.
Then I'm going to do some hoeing with the hoe that I got for father's day. A hoe. A wolf garten hoe. That's like the harris tweed of garden implements.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

You're a proper dad :)
Tell Badger how awesome it is please, I would like to breed soon.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)

Who with?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)

She wants to breed with me
EVERYBODY DOES
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)

You're going to take over the world
like the pod people or The Thing or that foxy alien in that rubbish alien fuck film.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

Hell yeah Shambles.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)

i'm going to reply to you because you are well known and popular
and i like to think some of that will rub off on to me through my reply
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)

I'm replying to you, because my number of posts is woeful
and I sit here trembling in the hope someone important will reply.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:19, archived)

i'm replying because it makes me think we're real life friends
and the more we reply to each other the more you want me
and i miss the 'landmark' numbered posts
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)

I'm replying to this because I like to be involved in things.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)

I'm replying to this because i want to stalk new people.

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

LMAO
wackylolz!
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

normally the only one who has a message waiting for them in a pink bar is mooey

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

DO YOU SEE WHAT I'VE DONE THERE??

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)

yes, unfortunately

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

Is it something to do with his affection for fried chicken products?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

I'm scrolling it up and down my screen, pretending it's soap
it can only clean the top half :(
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)

it's grinding my gears man
I wish it would just go away, it's horrible and I hate it :(
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)

I've booked my seat in the bunker just in case.
forum.robmanuel.com
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:53, archived)

how does one register on this 'bunker'?

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

You have to offer him a bumming.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

can't even find an addy to offer to.

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

What good things have happened to you recently?
Last Friday i asked my gf to marry me, she said yes :)

alternatively have any of you watched boston legal, what did you think of it?
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:47, archived)

Boston Legal is ACE!
It was like watching Shatner's retirement
/pity it ended, but it went out with style
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)

i'm nearly at the end of the second series
it's brilliant, i've got the others on dvd to watch afterwards
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:52, archived)

haha, it starts getting crazier the more it goes on...
a personal highlight...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Itkq_lXJ9SI
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)

pffft
i saw an ep last night he described himself as a leading man who might look like he's settling down with a girl one week but then he's with another girl in the next episode
very kirk
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

There's lots of little references to his past as Kirk as it goes on,
it's fun trying to spot them
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)

Why ask us a question like that in the header
only to completely contradict it in the second line?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)

it is a good thing for me
why would it be bad?
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)

Can I ask what the reasoning behind this decision was?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)

you may
i love her and i want to spend my life with her, whilst getting married does not guarantee this will happen and isn't required i want to marry her and is there somehting wrong with wanting to get married nowadays?
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

There's always been something wrong with marriage
partially from the fact that love and marriage have no relation to eachother in any way whatsoever.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)

i suppose i'd agree with you to some degree
but i want to marry her and not just for the sake of it
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:12, archived)

so what are your genuine reasons
other than "because I want to" which means "for the sake of it."
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)

None whatsoever.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)

Ooh that's ace
My good things seem rubbish in comparison :(
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)

tell them anyway

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)

Hurray!
Congrats!

Nothing good has happened to me.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)

Did she trap you too?
What is it with b3tans and being trapped?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)

trapped?
no
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)

Oh, great then, congrats =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

Yay!
Congrats man :)
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)

Congratulations,
edit: she's not a b3tan is she?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)

Yeah', and _this_ is how he's proposing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)