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favourite owl?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r577ytYTZM&eurl=
yeah!
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)

The one that was afraid of the dark.

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ArthurTheRat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)

I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE
news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/8131801.stm
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:27, archived)

It's always sad when once-respected people go senile.
Poor Fergie :(
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:28, archived)

WE DON'T WANT FUCKING SCOUSERS
ROONEY IS BAD ENOUGH, THE MOON-FACED BAG OF PORKFLESH
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:29, archived)

It looks like a furby...
I wuv oo...
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)

Tawny
Classic owl.
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:25, archived)

I'm totally going to go and watch some more 24!

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moohalaa, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:25, archived)

Teat

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:26, archived)

I stroked a Barn Owl a little while back.
My girlfriend was nursing it as it had a broken wing. Awwwwwwwwwww!
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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:27, archived)

:(
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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)

Rubbish..
next.
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)

ISNTIT!
I hereby give in at musics.
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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)

I'm going to play that loudly from my car with the windows all the way down
while driving through an ethnic area of town.
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Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:25, archived)

Go you.
GO. GO GO GO GO GO.
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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:26, archived)

Needs more Moing!

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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:27, archived)

i'm going to post this to push bogus thread down
as you all know i love you all, and sitcoms, what is your favourite sitcom? or my best feature?
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mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

Arrested Development.
Your winning smile.
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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

But 98.5% of the board has you on ignore so it won't make any difference.

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Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

yet he's one of few interesting people here.
such is life
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

Agreed

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

He really isn't.

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The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)

someone listen to tiny tim here
he might get cross online as he does fuck all for the forum
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mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:10, archived)

Wat.

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The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)

who are you?

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

Awww. It's like that bit in Poltergeist where the background noise starts whimpering.

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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

I don't get it.

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The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)

The Vicar of Dibley

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

I love your well-defined nasal cartilage

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moohalaa, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

I WANT TO GIVE YOU A CAKE

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

It's a little known fact that Mongy has the smiliest eyebrows on b3ta.

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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

i'm cute
www.flickr.com/photos/invinoveritas/693626704/

neddy, i'd love to msn you up
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mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)

imagine I photoshopped that to say "shitcunt", save me the bother

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:06, archived)

ok, I'm going to post an image link and you tell me which b3tan instantly springs to mind
ready?

media2.moma.org/collection_images/resized/172/w500h420/CRI_113172.jpg
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)

Mykey and TFD?

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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:08, archived)

Sammi on the left.

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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:09, archived)

ha ha ha

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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:09, archived)

yup
pictured here with Sebastian "Wormulus" Winnett, the scarf-wearing cockhound
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:09, archived)

Wasn't Fatty Arbuckle a nonce?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

he was acquitted of rape but never really worked again after the trial

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:15, archived)

Terrible bullying for the child enthusiast

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:18, archived)

Even though he was acquitted, he was banned from working in Hollywood
but as far as I can remember, the ban was lifted after 9 months but noone wanted to take a risk on him.
Sad times.
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:19, archived)

I think it lasted a few years
he died days before his comeback film was released

lolrape
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)

what about the guy on the right?
here
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:14, archived)

He looks a bit jewish
Is this safe?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:19, archived)

What about the woman?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:10, archived)

That's a lovely shot of a young-ish Jimmy Pursey

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)

I can see your inner sadness from here.

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Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)

I think you have lovely eyebrows

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6271409
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

It's not that little known then
I got my info from a bog door in Staines
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:00, archived)

Phoenix Nights used to be one of my favourites
but I expect if I watched it now I wouldn't enjoy it. I'm more into stand up comedy.
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magnum, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

I like your carp fondling hands.
Alan Partridge.
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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

Ant & Dec's Chums
Used to be on SM:TV, excellent satire.
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

I miss SM:TV live.
It was brilliant. I sang "We All Love Cat Deeley" at someone my age the other day and they didn't recognise it. I felt a bit lost.
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Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:03, archived)

I'd have to go with those charming eyebrows of yours

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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:59, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6271409
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)

Arrested Development
Coupling
Peep Show
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:59, archived)

it ain't half hot mum
but only because heil honey I'm home got cancelled
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)

Hitler based sitcom, fantastic.
I'm also a fan of this, me and you are kindred spirits.
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:05, archived)

I'm going to say Green Wing and then I'm going to be accused of having a vagina.

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Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)

Although the other main contender is probably Teachers.

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Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)

I love it.
The bit with Guy and the keyboard never fails to crack me up.
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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)

I was explaining the coffee enema bit the other day to someone who'd never seen it.

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Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:13, archived)

Married with children
because I wanted to fuck Kelly Bundy's brains out
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:08, archived)

GOOD CALL GILGAMESH.

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Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)

*Applegate fives*

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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:16, archived)

I'm moving house on Wednesday, it's all very exciting I'm sure you'll agree
You should buy me a prezzie. Not toasters please. I might invite some of you to bring me booze if you're lucky. I'm great, me. Hello.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)

i've got you a toaster.

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)

I've got you some cancer
Bad timing all round :(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

INSENSITIVE

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

Yet ultimately satisfying

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

I'll warm your house for you.
I'm very warm.
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)

With your shit pipe?
You shit pipe smoking cunt
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

So I'm invited yeah?
I'll bring my flavoured pipe tobacco.
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

Sorted

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

I'll buy the party hats and bring jelly and ice cream.

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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)

You're on the bench out front
Knock if you need the bog
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:05, archived)

The bench, is that the slang term for where the coolest people hang out?

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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:10, archived)

Yeah sure

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:14, archived)

My house is too warm already :(

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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

Well done
I've got to go to my sister's wedding tomorrow. I haven't bought a toaster as they've been living in sin together for 5 years
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magnum, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)

You'd think that after five years or more they would have saved up for a weekend wedding.

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Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

Buy her a quickie divorce
They'll thank you by christmas
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

What about a toaster that can toast 6 slices of bread?
I bet your current one only does 4.
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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)

I don't have one at all
I survive
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

mine only does two,
but my girlfriend's does four!
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

And yet she is with you for your money.
This must be the wrong way round.
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Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

I've bought you a bread maker.
It compliments the 6 slice toaster HBLC has got you.
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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

I've got him two toasters.
Best get a bigger bread maker, Jack.
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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)

I've got a spare bread maker here.
Together we can join together and make enough bread and toast it for Bogus to eat like a toast-loving king!
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:05, archived)

Let's make him too much bread.
Then he'll have to buy a breadbin to store it in. Or another B3tan can get him one.
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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:08, archived)

well I've got a pint of tonic water with ice and lime
new cigarettes
AND
all the solar powered lights that charge in the day are all glowing and twinkling around my patio.
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moohalaa, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

Ms Official has some of them up to her front door
I think they are meant for a palatial driveway rather than half a dozen steps
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

I for one am grateful for the comedy revolution Horne and Corden have given the world.

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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:02, archived)

i don't even own a tv etc etc

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Lightguy hail satan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:03, archived)

fair enough
in other news you can now search Google for images in colour, try doom 3 with pink.
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theniwokeup has been awake since, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)

I don't like Gavin & Stacey.
I watched 1/2 of the first episode of their own show & decided it was shit.
I saw them on some live comedy thing (secret policemans ball?) & they were shit.

So in summary then, yes.
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broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:04, archived)

It has some funny moments
Their 'Horne & Corden' act is painfully unfunny though
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applehead herp derp, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:07, archived)

There's something about that kind of show which bores the tits off me
see also: the royle family
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broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:11, archived)

let's all list loads of stuff we don't like!
i do not like some pop music.
your go.
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:12, archived)

Mushrooms

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broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:14, archived)

i like mushrooms!
i do not like plums.
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:15, archived)

I like mushrooms and plums
I'm not a fan of grumble flicks where people start pooing on each other
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:21, archived)

I don't like it when they cut to 2 grinning muscle marys high fiving each other as I hit the vinegar strokes

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broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:24, archived)

I don't like anyone with a user number over 70,000

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:27, archived)

i hate anyone who hasn't had over 50 front pages

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mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:33, archived)

we should all just agree to hate baldmonkey

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)

i done all my stuff here
www.b3ta.com/talk/6215486
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mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)

I like mushrooms and plums too.
We must be soul mates.
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:24, archived)

I don't like pipe-smoking shitcunts

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:26, archived)

You tease,
when are we going for a beer then?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:30, archived)

come to Manchester, I'll give you directions to a good boozer not too far from the station
then I'll go to a different boozer
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)

can i come too?

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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:43, archived)

makes no odds to me, I won't be there

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:44, archived)

Super.
At least I'll be closer to you.
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)

i don't like cricket

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spacefish bong!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)

Would you... by per chance... love it?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)

hold on,
is that the one where there is a joke that one of them is or maybe is not a gay, and also that one is a fat?
i like that it is funny.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:11, archived)

If only they could be combined into one fat, gay entity
to post on /talk
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:18, archived)

Friz?

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broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:24, archived)

they are as good as your podcast

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mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:07, archived)

well your fish that you catch are all gay.
and black.
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baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:11, archived)

i'd love to catch the black mirror

(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:23, archived)

I love Gavin and Stacey
but they're hopelessly unfunny when in their own sketch show or hosting awards shows.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:07, archived)

This.
Though I haven't actually watched any of their double act, I'm just presuming it's really wank.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:08, archived)

The Brits was embarrassingly bad.
I had to go out instead.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:09, archived)

It is fucking terrible.
I saw them on that Secret Policemen's Ball thing, and it was just awful.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:10, archived)

Gavin and Stacey was great
Horne and Corden was a bit shit, but the Brit Awards was complete dogshit
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:09, archived)

*Brits FIVES*

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:10, archived)

Fleet Foxes were named after Mick FLEETwood and Sam FOX and their 1989 Brit award show fiasco
/true story
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:11, archived)

That one wasn't really their fault, to be fair.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:23, archived)

It was quite possibly the weirdest coupling.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:25, archived)

Stop defending her Baldmonkey, she isn't going to kiss you.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)

I've just got home from work and I am LIVID at the thought of JMG on my INTERNET
/ac
(

moohalaa, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:43, archived)

SHIIT, theyre so awesome<3 sarangheyo jaejoong oppa! ;o ahah .

(

moohalaa, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)

So, anyway.
I was rooting through a box of old crap and found a device shaped like an Elephant with a trigger in the chest, and when you pulled it, the trunk blew out a blast of cold air. I found it both confusing and arousing.

What've you recently found confusing and arousing?
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:40, archived)

advanced maths scat.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:41, archived)

+porn

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:44, archived)

Gobbo

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:43, archived)

Sir Sand Goblin

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:43, archived)

Gobble Wobble !

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:43, archived)

i already have a girlfriend,
but if it doesn't work out, feel free to score me on the rebound.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:47, archived)

Oh cruel fait, I know thee well.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:49, archived)

And she is beautiful!

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:51, archived)

VERY beautiful.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:52, archived)

Your dad in your mums clothes

(

broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:44, archived)

GLOBYNOBOY

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:44, archived)

Enrique Iglesias

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:44, archived)

Quantum pornography.

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:44, archived)

they're both legal and not legal until i watch it

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:44, archived)

Schrödinger's pussy.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:46, archived)

Genital entanglement is HOT.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:46, archived)

i find the questions posted on this forum are a bit crap, just post your blogs
it's all shit
(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:45, archived)

i bought a new calculator today
it is a Casio DS-1L which is the same model that I used in my first job 16 years ago.
i think it is a great calculator. do you have any feelings towards calculators?
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:51, archived)

i don't, sorry, no offence
i use hardly any maths that i can't work out with a pencil
(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:52, archived)

you do know that if ever you do, i'd be willing to help
GAZ me the maths you need working out, and I'll use my Casio DS-1L calculator for you

forum help, great times. no offence
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:55, archived)

cheers, does this look right
adiabatic equation

I=Uo/Zs

I=230/0.15

I=1533.3A

Now from appendix three in BS7671 a BS1361 100A fuse will disconnect somewhere between 0.1 and 0.2 seconds at 1500A, therefore i will use 0.18...

S=Sq.Root(I2t)/K

S=650.4/115

S=5.65mm2, no offence
(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:01, archived)

I saw this and thought of you
b3ta.com/board/9559076
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:04, archived)

i only ordered it today
it will take 4-5 days to arrive

it looks right, but i would like to check, lest you come to any kind of harm. i wouldn't want that on my conscience. no offence.
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:06, archived)

Why do you hang around mongy?

(

magnum, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:59, archived)

dunno, it's like a habit i suppose
it may not be good for you but you keep doing it
(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:04, archived)

whyheyeheyehahaheye do yooouu come here?

(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:05, archived)

www.insaneabode.com/roboterotica/lesbianrobots.html
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:47, archived)

good god i fancy bjork.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:48, archived)

she's a batshit insane munter

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:49, archived)

good call!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:52, archived)

Oh yes.

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:50, archived)

Why would a robot need tits anyway?

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:49, archived)

Whapple.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:49, archived)

Areeya

(

applehead herp derp, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:58, archived)

I thought I was the only one.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:13, archived)

this
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:03, archived)

Japanese porn

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:32, archived)

What House doctor would you rather bang?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:16, archived)

what?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:17, archived)

Never seen it.
Which one should I bang? You tell me...
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:17, archived)

I've never watched.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:18, archived)

It's quite good, I think.
Not rubbish, not great, but quite good.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:19, archived)

No, no, wait, I've changed my mind, it's great.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:20, archived)

Hold on, can someone tell me what's between good and great?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:21, archived)

It might be fantastic.
I just don't know.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:21, archived)

grood

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:32, archived)

who's using rosalicious account then? own up

(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:18, archived)

right, i'm gazzing the mods

(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:33, archived)

someone told me the cunts are going to make a Dr Who film
AND another fucking Indiana Jones

the cunts
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:18, archived)

Have they not fucked Indiana Jones up enough?
What do you think it'll be called? My money's on Indiana Jones and the Hole-Filled Plot of Disappointment
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:22, archived)

Indiana Jones and the Film Title With Too Many Syllables

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:29, archived)

Indiana Jones and the Rape of Your Childhood

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:30, archived)

oh fucking hell
there's a sentence in this which will make you say "oh fucking hell", see if you spot it

popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/06/how-to-improve-indiana-jones-5.html
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:32, archived)

"“make Shia the lead character…"?

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:40, archived)

aaaaaaaargh

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:44, archived)

The whole thing is making me think Jeff Labrecque is an utter fucking buffoon.
Adult adventure? For fuck's sake.
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:40, archived)

Columbo

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:18, archived)

I fucking love Columbo.

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:20, archived)

that's because he rules

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:22, archived)

I fucking well love Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
God, isn't the Hallmark channel great?
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:24, archived)

yazz

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:18, archived)

& the Plastic Population?
*does embarrassing TOTP miming*
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:21, archived)

The only way is up?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:21, archived)

baby

(

broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:28, archived)

thirteen has a weird rectangular head which freaks me out so not her

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:25, archived)

13

(

nick the greek, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:27, archived)

Never seen it
hope that helps
(

broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:28, archived)

the black one.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:29, archived)

cwytch!

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:31, archived)

you're so kind!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:33, archived)

I think I would like to spend one night with you down in Vegas before you pop your clogs.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:35, archived)

gambling!
omg!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:37, archived)

you just want to get him drunk and marry him for his money
you filthy money-grubbing slapper
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:38, archived)

it is a lot of money,
i can understand.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:40, archived)

The Australian one.

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:29, archived)

The black Australian one.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:30, archived)

I've never watched it.
Does it have Quincy in it?
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:30, archived)

Cameron

(

epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:31, archived)

Is it too late to say Robin Nedwell?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:32, archived)

Wilson

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:36, archived)

Cameron AND 13.
13 would be up for it anyway, all I'd have to do is wear a House mask to get Cameron interested.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:37, archived)

It's only taken a few hundred years, but Poland is now part of the civilised world
which means a Polish ice cream company now make Mint, Coffee, and Rum and Raisin ice-creams.

What have YOU been looking for for years?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:50, archived)

acceptance

(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:51, archived)

if she says no more than 3 times move on

(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:53, archived)

o i
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:54, archived)

mive?

(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:55, archived)

mire?

(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:55, archived)

in?

(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:56, archived)

ni?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:58, archived)

oh

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:59, archived)

swish....

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:59, archived)

ni?

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:55, archived)

what the fuck is he on about

(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:56, archived)

mingychips

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:57, archived)

I made myself lol :(

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:57, archived)

I didn't know he was south african

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:58, archived)

ha ha!

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:59, archived)

FLIPZ!

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:51, archived)

They were chocolate covered pretzels in case anybody was wondering.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:03, archived)

They were FUCKIN' awesome people!

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:09, archived)

'the one'
/gay
(

jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:51, archived)

^This.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:52, archived)

I've found the one several times.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:54, archived)

He is the Messiah, and I should know, I've followed a few.

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:54, archived)

+show
lololololol
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:54, archived)

ROFL!

(

jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:56, archived)

Cheese flavour Snaps.

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:51, archived)

My mind.

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:52, archived)

self worth

(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:52, archived)

it's about $2.98
at todays mineral prices, for the stuff that makes up your body.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:53, archived)

I think you'd get a different price if you summed up the going rates for your organs

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:54, archived)

Not for mongy's
Half of them have been clocked, and the other half don't have the proper paperwork.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:57, archived)

I didn't say the price would be higher

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:58, archived)

my organs would not fetch a very good price
:(((
(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:57, archived)

Crispix.

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:53, archived)

A Casio DS-1L calculator, and I found one on eBay today! Result!

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:53, archived)

An edible Pot Noodle.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:53, archived)

Kellogg's Country Store

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:54, archived)

Wasn't Mr.Kellogg a nazi or a racist or something?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:55, archived)

God Squad.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:56, archived)

And a vegetarian according to Wikipedia.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:58, archived)

He made shit cereal anyway.
I want Lucky Charms!
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:04, archived)

If you find it see of they have any Ordinary K.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:56, archived)

No problem.
I'm also looking for a packet of Poor Tea biscuits
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:57, archived)

Small D Peanuts.

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:59, archived)

Single Decker

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:00, archived)

Giant gems

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:04, archived)

Sherbert Waterfeature

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:07, archived)

THAT DOESN'T WORK YOU RUBBISH

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:13, archived)

Coleman's English Musgenius

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:18, archived)

Cillit Whimper

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:01, archived)

The very ends of the earth, so that I may do battle with the dragon who lives there
and that I might slay him, and retrieve the Emerald Rune that will bring peace to my people!
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:54, archived)

Spent nearly 6 years looking for the Lost Jockey LP.
Then I bought a copy off a Dutch musician for £15, made MP3s of it and have listened to it maybe twice since then.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:58, archived)

i'm going to go mad here and open my heart for all to see
i really want a mug with a little hippo attached to the side that is part submerged when it is full with tea/coffee
(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:01, archived)

that's fairly specific

(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:01, archived)

If you can think it someone dun did it.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:04, archived)

someone did do it, i want one
can't find one tho
(

mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:09, archived)

Linda.
I'll never stop looking.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:02, archived)

Frozen food aisle, next to the pizzas

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:03, archived)

SHE'S DEAD GRRRMACHINE AND SHE AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:03, archived)

Linda who?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:07, archived)

Oh you fucking cunt.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:07, archived)

Pfft
you LOVE me
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:10, archived)

PAIN.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:11, archived)

Oh
I'm sorry
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:13, archived)

I can see that keyboard player saying
"I'm looking for John Conner..."
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:17, archived)

"...35 quid and a pack of ciggies..."

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:15, archived)

So is one of them called Hugh?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:15, archived)

No.
I think they're Greg and Pat or something.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:17, archived)

Only it's not actually a man. It's a big fat lezza smoking MY pipe and wearing MY slippers!

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:11, archived)

I was THAT close to putting that, but crisps won out.
You OK, you huge head-dobbing spacker?
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:17, archived)

Fine ta
cunteyes. Triple L wants five dinners, I think.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:19, archived)

OK, I'll see to it.
CHUNK!
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:29, archived)

averna
but bananaman linked me up to a site that sells it this week. it must be a good week for discovering such things
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:07, archived)

bananaman eh?
i know one of his friends, coconutman. bit of a nut job if you ask me
(

dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:15, archived)

bananaman the b3tan
nice chap. making deckchairs at the moment apparently
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:17, archived)

really?
can he fix mine, the fabrics gone
(

dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:25, archived)

germans?
they're never quite where you left them
(

dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:11, archived)

According to the tips sheet in the pack of paper I just opened the Dutch for 'Avoid' is 'Wat u beter niet doet'.
Is someone at Ilford yanking my chain?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:15, archived)

and the Swedish pharmacist says
"Ball or aerosol?"
"Neither. It's for my armpits."
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)

This smith and jones joke really doesn't work written down.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)

I geddit...

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)

I got it when I read it in a Swedish accent.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:36, archived)

It took me a while.
I had to get a friend in, we studied it for 15 solid minutes before the alarm bells rang.

DING DING DING!
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

lol it sounds like 'what you better not do' lol

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)

It's making me all suspicious.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)

I dunno
I have a toy sheep on my printer, Malchick bought it for me ages and ages ago. I like Malchick.
(

jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)

Why would you avoid opening a pack of paper?

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:17, archived)

monsters

(

jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)

Mummy always said there were no monsters. No real ones

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

She's lying
All Mummys are fibbers.
(

jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

My mummy is a mad in the head fibber.

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:24, archived)

We all are.
Our children take our brain cells and piss on them.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)

I don't know but it's too late now.
I ripped that baby wide open. Hell yeah.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)

And then opened your paper.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

Hell yeah.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

If you had an overwhelming fear of papercuts.

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)

or bears

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)

Bears don't come in paper, they come in Goldilocks, the mucky slut.

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

in case it contained a bear

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)

A bare what?

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:21, archived)

There on the stair.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

Where on the stair?

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:23, archived)

Next to the bear :(

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:29, archived)

grrrrrrrrr

(

jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:31, archived)

You're not really a grizzly, more like a koala.

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:42, archived)

fuck off am I cuddly
but I may be stoned out of my head.
(

jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:44, archived)

You're right, koalas are all off their tits.

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:46, archived)

"What you should not do".
A plausible translation.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)

never mind that
www.bigguts.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3418
(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)

what b3tan is that lol

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

Lu.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

it's the posts of encouragement from the other forum members that are the most disturbing

(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:23, archived)

"Wow fantastic growth keep it up"

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)

"I smuggled my camera into the bathroom without my parents noticing by putting it under my belly rolls."
:/
(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

they probably wouldn't notice if it smuggled a film crew in there

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:40, archived)

Imagine a smokers' forum like that?
TABS wrote: I managed 220 yesterday, cant breth today lol still 30 below my target anyone got a light?

NICK O'TINE wrote: WOW thats amaizing!!!! Keep it up u will get there soon only on 180 a day myslef lol but gettin there ;)
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:46, archived)

All the cool people die young.
Therefore, if they die young, they'll be cool.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:50, archived)

"20lb gained. 180lb below target weight"
Fucking hell
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

I blame James Cordon and Ruth Jones.
It's all their fault.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

He could be wearing pants in any one of those photos.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

What the hell?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:24, archived)

One moob up, one moob down.
Nice touch.
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)

It's like looking at a picture of Marty Feldman
only remade with a fat mans tits.
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)

IIII, ain't got nobooooody!
Liar.
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:42, archived)

Ha ha! BOGGLE-NIPPED!

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:29, archived)

Don't worry Esme, you'll get there.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:29, archived)

You cunt.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)

lololol

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:35, archived)

It's a very small black modesty square isn't it?

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)

And just how big would your modesty square need to be?
Hmmm?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:36, archived)

Oh is that you?
Sorry.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:38, archived)

I just wish you lot would show a little more appreciation of the hard work I've been putting in.
It's not easy in this weather.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:40, archived)

Go on,
You could up your quota of lard ice lollies.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

That's because his folds of fat hide anything there may be to see
*shudders*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:47, archived)

It's another head in hands moment brought to us all by Pickle Fairy.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:48, archived)

I do my best
:)
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:49, archived)

but.... but......
I'm actually lost for words.
(

jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:37, archived)

Doesn't look like it.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:38, archived)

well well well,
this isn't right, or is it?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:50, archived)

follow your dreams, you can achieve your goals
i'm living proof
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:08, archived)

Nah, they're pulling your leg

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:21, archived)

Thats what you should not do
So yes!
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

Gino Ginelli

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:28, archived)

So, decking...
is it a bastard to lay down or easy.
Any tips from real men and manly ladies?
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:28, archived)

you just pop the cap off and it'll roll out across your garden
it's trimming back the bits you don't want that's the hard bit really
(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:29, archived)

dont :(

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:30, archived)

We had hedgehogs in our garden last night
It looked like a mummy and a baby. Did you know baby hedgehogs are called hoglets?
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:30, archived)

Which one did you step on?

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:31, archived)

None
I just put them in the wheelie bin
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:31, archived)

It's easy.
I lay down decking all the time, just for shits and giggles.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:30, archived)

Same here.
I've got a whole room that's nothing but decking.

Getting it to stick to the ceiling was the tricky bit.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:31, archived)

You just need to buy those special nails with the sharp bit at the opposite end.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:32, archived)

how do i switch my hammer into upside down mode?

(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:33, archived)

you need a reversible hammer.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:35, archived)

Take it off the handle. Turn it around 360 degrees and then walk away.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:36, archived)

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

Ram it into your bot bot then stand up.
ET VOILA.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)

A good answer to so many of the great questions of our era.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:49, archived)

I'm the Handy Andy for a new generation.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:50, archived)

I'm pretty confident I could send my girlfriend into a shop to get some 'up' nails.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:34, archived)

Tell her to ask for some sky hooks and a long stand.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:43, archived)

and a bubble for a Stanley series 2 box section spirit level

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:52, archived)

Or double-ended nails.
Problem is, you've then got no surfaces for the hammer to get a decent purchase.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:37, archived)

Must be like when you try to chew.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

Oh what a feeling...

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:33, archived)

Blu-Tak
Dur. Don't you know anything about DIY?
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:33, archived)

NO MORE NAILS FTW

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:34, archived)

That's what they used to do in POW camps isn't it?

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)

Nothing a bit of pritt-stikk couldn't handle.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:35, archived)

Oh, definitely.
I use that for putting the two halves of a custard creme back together once I've eaten all the stuff out of the middle.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)

COPYDEX

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:55, archived)

It's basic joinery.
If you can do basic joinery then it's a piece of piss. If you don't know one end of a saw from the hole in your arse then it is not a piece of piss. Hope this helps.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:31, archived)

Joinery?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:43, archived)

Yes. Joinery.
Is this an unusual word where you come from?
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

No.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

Then I don't understand your question.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:47, archived)

Are you absolutely sure it's joinery and not carpentry?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

Carpentry is cutting wood.
Joinery is joining it together.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:49, archived)

Thank you for that.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:50, archived)

carpentry is fish fucking
ho ho ho ho
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:56, archived)

WELL YOU'D KNOW.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:58, archived)

Well I'm certainly not unsure enough to give a shit.
Joinery is joining things together to make structures. Which is all you need to do to lay decking. Carpentry is becoming addicted to sleeping pills and starving yourself to death.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:51, archived)

Marvelous.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:58, archived)

Decking is easy to lay down
Just lay the smackdown with a left hook, and voila
(Purple_Monkey_Jingles Purple Monkeys need love too, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:31, archived)

Piece o' piss.
Unless it isn't, who cares?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:32, archived)

Fuck decking, just tarmac it.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:32, archived)

Wanna buy a daaag?

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:33, archived)

I never liked Double Deckers
Kitkat's all the way.
Or maybe a Twix.

I also like Lion bars.
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:32, archived)

I was hoping this would be a poem

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:36, archived)

Fascist.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:36, archived)

I thought it was.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

fuck you that's all back to front
DD>KK>TX>LB
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:37, archived)

Some Funk would be nice.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)

I like Chocolate Chip trackers and Topics
/ac
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)

you saucy minx
(I cracked a tooth on a chocolate chip Tracker as a child)

I still like them though

I'm not keen on Topics, some ice-cream would be nice.
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

My name is Druid. I live in Coventry, it is fantastic. I sound like Barnaby Bear. I like Barnaby Bear.
He went to Birmingham. I went to Birmingham today and the sun burnt my neck. I didn't like it.
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:34, archived)

Poor Druid :(

(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:45, archived)

good!

(

jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:15, archived)

I'm actually amazed at how much I don't care about this

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:34, archived)

If you can't lay decking, just don't bother with life.
That's my saying.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:35, archived)

It's easy and cheap
which is why it looks so shit. Be a man, and tell your wife to stop nagging for a wooden platform outside the patio doors or you'll really give a decking, y'hear?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:35, archived)

Shut up decking is great
you can have a piss and it doesn't pool around your feet.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:36, archived)

Yeah, fucking great
"Honey, can you go to B&Q and get the wood for that outdoor pisser we talked about? I want to squat outside the kitchen window and imagine I'm on a French camping holiday."
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)

what things are acceptable in a garden?
i'm ok with grass right
(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)

I hear worms are quite popular with the trendy gardening set.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)

half a washing machine, three bald car tyres
and a rotating outdoor clothes dryer with the wires all saggy and loose.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:46, archived)

I have a pink 1970s toilet in my front garden at the moment.
I'm tempted to suggest to Mrs Shambles that we turn it into a novelty bird bath.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

DO THIS ONE.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:51, archived)

Two rusting cars of the same model
which gives no indication of which is the restoration project and which is the parts donor car
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:56, archived)

Broken garden furniture,
a damp sofa and an elderly relative's rotting corpse.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:59, archived)

a rusting Hillman Imp with no two doors the same colour
if you live in Collyhurst, apparently
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:03, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF14UmhMPEY
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:36, archived)

Haha, brilliant! There was one where he was cutting a string
of sausages up with a chainsaw, I can't see that on youtube though :(
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:41, archived)

DECKING WAS A REPLICANT

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

SHE STANDS UP WHEN SHE PLAYS THE PIANO

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:08, archived)

no idea why this is here
Stupid blackberry
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:10, archived)

IT'S A GAS

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:12, archived)

*hinge and bracket applause*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:12, archived)

I'm starting a new thread.
The tits are very interested in the scaffolding outside. They seem to be using it as some kind of adventure playground. The squirrels are suspicious though.

Who's your fave film star? actually I don't care.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:48, archived)

I'm listening to Does He Love You by Rilo Kiley
Relaxy Summer song
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:49, archived)

Super cute!
the birds that is.. not squirrels.. hate fucking skanky squirrels
(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:50, archived)

Stop doing it then.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:50, archived)

*cricket applause*

Evening, 'Zuki!
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:52, archived)

'lo JC, long time no etc etc
How big is your brood these days? got a whole footy team yet?
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)

We believe there to be between 35 and 40 dotted around the house, but it's difficult to keep track.

How's you?
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:55, archived)

you krazy cafflics.
Not bad sah, pootling about, looking for any kind of job that i get to keep my clothes on for..
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)

Is the clothes thing set in concrete, or is it open to negotiation?

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:00, archived)

depends on the perks ducky
;)
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:01, archived)

*works out a job spec, person specification and contract*

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:04, archived)

*applies*

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:09, archived)

People under the stairs :(

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:26, archived)

Steve McQueen

(Stiff Richard, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:50, archived)

Optimus Prime

(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:53, archived)

Cher

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:53, archived)

Cher's my favourite fictional character

(Purple_Monkey_Jingles Purple Monkeys need love too, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:23, archived)

I need to get the guinea pigs into the run so they can feast on the non-existent lawn.
I also need to lube and adjust the chain on the Mighty Honda.

So much to do... so little inclination...
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)

Spot the leg competition:
PARIS PARIS PARIS PARIS PARIS
PARIS PARIS PARIS PARIS PARIS
PARIS PARIS PARIS LEG PARIS
PARIS PARIS PARIS PARIS PARIS
PARIS PARIS PARIS PARIS PARIS
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:54, archived)

BOTTOM RIGHT! BOTTOM RIGHT!

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)

It's a good answer,
actually no it's not, it's a terrible answer.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)

Shit.
:(
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:58, archived)

this is the best thing ever posted on /talk
tell me you thought of it using your own brain or I will have to kick a biro down your ear
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:57, archived)

yes my own real brain
I've posted it before.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:16, archived)

Do you have to do the magic eye thing to get it?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)

You have to gouge one eye out to see it properly.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:17, archived)

oh shit it's all arms

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:01, archived)

Any remotely gangsta rappy black fella.

(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:55, archived)

Vanilla Ice?

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:56, archived)

Rolling in ma five point oh!

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)

My rag top down so my hair can blow.
That line always made me laugh. The man had hair made from plastic and pipe cleaners - a fucking Rolls Royce Trent couldn't have shifted that barnet.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:03, archived)

Never been a big fan of Suge Knight
but the story he dangled Ice off a balcony to sign away the royalties for 'Ice Ice Baby' always raises a smile...
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:07, archived)

Didn't Suge Knight know of Ice's reputation for waxing chumps like a candle?

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:11, archived)

He also cooked MC's like a pound of Bacon.
I, for one, would not fuck with anyone that stone cold badass.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:13, archived)

The Game

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:06, archived)

Humphrey Bogart
he was so fucking cool no one even noticed how utterly ghey the name Humphrey is
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)

He even made the nickname 'Bogey' somehow cool.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:03, archived)

Humphrey Bogart.
He's great.
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:04, archived)

I wish I'd thought of that

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:05, archived)

Obviously that wasn't there when I typed it.
Have you seen The African Queen? Watched that the other week, it's ace.
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:17, archived)

oh yes
see also: Treasure of the Sierra Madre
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:27, archived)

Oh yes. That's good too.
I didn't like the Maltese Falcon much, but he was great in it.
(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:31, archived)

Humphrey Bogart.
All the cool kids like him and I yearn for online acceptance.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:05, archived)

well well, such a lot of guns around town and so few brains

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:07, archived)

That old fellow, what's his name, Bumphrey Hogart or something.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:06, archived)

Humpty Go-Kart

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:09, archived)

BILLY BIG BOLLOCKS

(

Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:18, archived)

Peter Sellers
and Peter Sellers. Also, Peter Sellers.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:19, archived)

I don't want to buy any Peters.
leave me alone
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:22, archived)

Glastonbury Advertising
Mate of mine came back from festival this year (my wife wouldn't let me go) with photo of a stall selling camping chairs. They had a sign saying "Your chair is a cunt. buy me instead"
(seedybee68 not involved in any rioting since 31 March 1990, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:06, archived)

Everyone should use their Red Button and watch Mansour Bahrami and Henri Laconte play the old man doubles.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:06, archived)

I don't really care about the tennis
why should I press the red button?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:14, archived)

To get a weather forecast.
I hear there's rain coming.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:15, archived)

I don't think we talk enough about weather you know.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:15, archived)

Tell me what the weather's like where you are.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:16, archived)

Hail aimed down vertically from above, and there'll be a 30% chance

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:19, archived)

It's sunny here.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:21, archived)

because you don't want old people's tennis for the tennis.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:16, archived)

I might even put a little pink umbrella in my drink
/ac
(

moohalaa, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)

I want a massive margarita glass with some vile tropical 80s cocktail with an umbrella.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:10, archived)

I want a really thick creamy cocktail so it congeals in the heat.
^ STRIKETHROUGH OPPORTUNITY
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:17, archived)

h m
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:19, archived)

what is the point in telling us this without showing the picture
:(
/moody bitch
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

It's not moodiness.
It was a shit thread starter.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:14, archived)

More like a shit-thread dumper.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:43, archived)

Exactly, the cunt is tryin to mug us off like kippers, what you gonna do sp@m?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:29, archived)

OI G0ns
I like your f/b quiz.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:30, archived)

Fuckin'L Gonz
I'm going to do cunting in the fucks I am that angry today.
I have never felt more like I cannot be arsed in my entire life. I don't know if it was the 4 hour budget meeting I had to sit through this afternoon, or the heat, or the fact that all of a sudden my angel child has turned demon on me and instead of asking for things nicely he says GET ME A DRINK NOW, so I say no and then we have to go through 4 hours of screaming because we're both stubborn cunts. He shall not win though I do NOT have ignorant pig shits for children.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:44, archived)

Eh?

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:16, archived)

haha pussy whipped

(

scott,, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:18, archived)

What's YOUR-SORT's equivalent?
Shitty-whipped?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:27, archived)

Coool Hhwhipped.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:29, archived)

Ring-fenced?

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:33, archived)

perv.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:28, archived)

lol yeah

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:37, archived)

yeah great, why don't you STICK IT UP YOUR SHIT PIPE WITH A CACTUS or something

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:59, archived)

you really are a terribly grumpy fuck, aren't you?

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:02, archived)

I'm trying to 'upgrade' my account for IPREDator, but payson.se is saying my debit card does not exist.
What has been buggering you today? Hello, by the way.
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)

those are some words.
Nothing, I'm surprisingly cheery.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)

Fuck you and your cheer
you disfigured gnome.

You look like a ginger version of the end of 'Don't look now'
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)

Shut up Wormulus, just because your arse looks like a scrotum.
How's it going internet sourpuss?

Thanks for your text yesterday.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)

SPANGO
*Does a cheery dance*
(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)

My grandad.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)

hahaha
www.b3ta.com/talk/6270694
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)

lololololidontcarelololol

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)

I was going to post it under a Gilgamesh thread.
but I figured you would suffice.
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)

You could have posted it under your own reply and mix in some comedic replies to yourself in the process.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)

It's OK I used to get Wormulus mixed up with Syncubus.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:15, archived)

I'm out on a customer site
i have had no lunch
I'm in a shop full of food
I have no money to buy anything

also I have no money to buy petrol
I think I've got enough petrol to get back but I'm not 100%, it is a fair old drive
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)

I've not been buggered by anything
Today.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)

I'm a bit shit at golf. Not that I really cared though.

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)

Sew
Cary Elwes wakes up to find he has been tied to a radiator with a knitted 'chain'.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)

Nothing really
Bit annoyed that I had to bring my Mac into work today to write some documentation for our users, but that's the way life goes.
I even had to install IE on it :S
(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)

i had a snooze during a webinar
about email archiving

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)

that's the only appropriate course of action

(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

Webinar is a shit portmanteau

(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)

shitmanteau

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)

Portmanturd

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)

No Country For Old Ben
Obi Wan Kenobi tastes xenophobia at the passport control.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

what do you mean the name doesn't match your records?
says here "ben" kenobi
yes, yes, that's me
so who's "obi wan"? sounds a bit chinese

etc
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)

Nothing much.
Lovely and sunny, and I got some good work done today. And a cold beer is waiting for me.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

The heat
thank fuck for air con

Murray Mount or Henman Hill?
FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)

It's Murray "mound" for one thing.
And anyway, it is, and always will be, Henman Hill.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:48, archived)

I don't think we should keep renaming it - although is Murray wins then we should stick with Murray Mound

(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:52, archived)

They'll be fucked if Anne Keothavong starts winning

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)

NO JOB YET
Although I have an interview
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)

Burger King?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:49, archived)

Nope.
I can't stand the smell of burger king as a customer, let alone being in one of their restaurants for 8 hours a day
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:50, archived)

makes me laugh when they say 'flame grilled'
yet whenever I go in everything seems to go in the microwave
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:52, archived)

Is it not possible that it is flame grilled before it goes in the microwave?

(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)

Iwhat?
Never mind, I've Googled it. Why care so much about "online privacy"..? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO HIDE?
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)

Remove, add or change one letter in a film title to make a completely new film. With hilarious results.
Udder Siege: Steven Segal lays waste to a herd of cattle and also cooks.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:43, archived)

Jews: A beach in Cyprus is terrorised by gonzo's family.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)

Have we ever done how much Gonzo looks and acts like Roman Bellic from GTAIV?
gameland.com.hr/wp-content/gallery/grand-theft-auto-iv-likovi/gta-4-roman-bellic.jpg
(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

We have now.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)

This amuses me more than it really should.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)

Looks more like Maffers

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)

doesn't look like a guffbeak to me

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)

hmmm, maybe. Coz Maffers is a Guffbeak...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)

CHK MA PROFIL 4 HT BEAK ACTION

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:20, archived)

*snort*
very astute
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)

Sped
It's just the titles and the end credits.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)

Jews.
We're gonna need a bigger bagel.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)

Let me just look at the image challenge for this and I'll get back to you.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)

LOLTERGEIST.
Good Moaning Vietnam, with the dewd from Allo allo.
Attack of the 50ft Wogan.
Dos Boot
The Constant Hardener (with viagra pills and that)
E.T.A - Coming soon
Iron - lol tron
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

Dos Boot is the best one in there.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

www.b3ta.com/challenge/movieletterswitch/popular
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)

This is by far the best
www.b3ta.com/board/7931789
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)

Spar Wars.
Sci fi in a corner shop.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

Spar Trek
A film about a very long walk to the corner shop.
(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

Jews 3

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

Underpendence Day
An entire day spent under the town of Pendence, Missouri
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

Schindler's Lust
A young jew becomes a world renowned author of erotica.
(

Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)

Schindler's Fist
a boxing/holocaust extraveganza
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)

Schindler's Lisp
A three hour tale of one man's fight to pronounce his own name properly
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)

www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/39915/1227966404/lisp.jpg
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

Oh, boo

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)

Germinator
In the future a war rages between humanity and seed boxes in greenhouses.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)

Ricky.
It's that cunt Gervais getting beaten up by Apollo Creed.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)

Beetoven
An oven for beetroot
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)

Cam Swapping Sluts 2.
Women of low morals trade their cameras.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

Dawn of the Deed
A 3-hour epic in which a young man must risk his life to complete the sale of his house.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

Two Girls One Cut
A heartwearming tale of siamese twins having an operation to separate them
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)

Silence of the Lamas.
Some tibetans lose their voices.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Ming
A ming vase is found in pristine condition. Sells for £1.5million at auction.
(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mong
A mong is found in pristine condition. Gets fired at the sun.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spitless Mong.
A spacker requires artificial saliva on hot days.
(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)

The Pursuit of Happiness.
Just like the real film, only with a spell checker.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

Office Spice
A new spice girl joins the group after Gerri leaves. Turns out she's shit too.
(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

Close Encounters of the Third King
King George III is abducted by aliens, with hilarious results. Starring Adam Sandler.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)

The Cock
Starring Nicholas Cage
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)

*clicks*

(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)

Hurry Potter
Where he is always in a rush.
(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

Transfarmers 2
Er, sexy transexual farmers? Or farmers who change into things?
(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)

Graveheart
Mel Gibson fails to motivate anyone as a really shit William Wallace leading Scottish rebels to a humiliating defeat
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:01, archived)

Gene With The Wind.
A documentary about Gene Hackman's 30 year long battle with excess flatulence.
(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)

Fatman.
Starring Mykey.
(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)

Fatman Returns.
Mykey logs back onto b3ta between snacks.
(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)

Fatman Forever.
Mykey discovers the secret of eternal life; is disappointed that it is not "eat more cake and pies."
(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:03, archived)

Fatman and Robin
Mykey eats a robin or something. He's fat. That's the punchline. Malchick laughs himself into a coma.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)

Fatman and Robin.
Footage of Mykey furiously wanking over pictures of Burt Ward.
(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)

Fatman Begins.
The tale of Mykey's childbirth, when he ate his way out of his mum's uterus.
(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)

The Park Knight.
Mykey wobbles between bins at an Aberdeen recreation ground, searching for scraps of food having literally eaten himself out of house and home, mortar and all.
(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:06, archived)

Dustin Hoffman Feigns Ignorance of Missing Bathtub

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)

Hahaha :) I love you.

(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:30, archived)

The Pork Knight.
Mykey fights crime using pig-based meat products. Which he then eats, because he's a fat.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)

It's a Wonderful Lime
Over two hours of really really wonderful limes
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:03, archived)

Diet Hard
Mykey is giving 48 hours to shed 10 stone.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)

Diet Hard with a Vengeance.
Mykey force feeds the man who made him shed 10 stone in 48 hours in Diet Hard.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)

Diet Hard 3: Diet Harder
Mykey is forced to shed a further 20 stone in just 24 hours.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:06, archived)

Or was that Die Hard 2?
I don't really care.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)

Brie Encounter
Laura Jesson falls in love with cheese
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)

Flush Gordon
An epic quest to get the Prime Minister to fit down the toilet
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:06, archived)

F for Fendetta.
A Gonzo joint.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:07, archived)

The 4 Year Old Virgin
Quite a boring film, actually
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)

www.bobpitch.com/anon/Chopper3_4yov.jpg
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)

Ah, fuck

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)

Toad Trip
The high experienced from licking the back of Amazonian frogs.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)

Pie

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)

Jacob's Jabber.
WACK WACK WAH WAH WACKA WACKA WIB WIB WIB WA WAW WAW
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:11, archived)

Fredquency
The Life and Times of Dr. Fred Quency
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)

Public Enemas.
Well not quite.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:13, archived)

Pup Fiction.
Dog lies.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)

Schindler's Fist.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)

Jurassic Ark
A boat load of dinosaurs turns up on the west coast of America with hilarious results. Starring Adam Sandler as Raptor #2
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:14, archived)

Coy Soldiers.
Doesn't need a tagline, the image is amusing enough to me.
(

Malchick, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)

Fight Cub
Beating the shit out of baby bears.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)

Crosswoads
The Celts are angry, again
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)

Citizen Kanye
Awwww shiiiiit
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)

haha

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)

Casablanka
All about the green dude from Street Fighter's house
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:18, archived)

Laurence of aLabia

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:18, archived)

WILL:E

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:19, archived)

The Lives of Mothers

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)

The Incredible Hull
Rod Hull's glorious life and tragic death
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)

Requiem for a Bream.
Songs for dead fish.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)

The Pianis

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)

D.V.L.A Confidential

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)

The Mammy
An Irish Mother rises from the dead
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)

Nonce Upon a Time in America
Roman Polanski directs.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)

Rash Hour
Jackie Chan gets a red discolouration on his leg. It fades after a bit.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)

Dull Metal Jacket.
Needs a polish.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)

Clitty, Clitty Gang Bang

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)

Flight 92
On 9/11 a plane does nothing extraordinary and lands successfully on time.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)

A fridge too far
It ends with mykeyboy drinking a river in despair.
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)

The Block Hole
A child tries to get the red cube through the circle slot on his toy.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

There Will be Flood.
Noah is tested.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

The Goodfather
Dad raises his children right.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:27, archived)

Jurassic Pork
Granny Porn
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)

Bad Teste
Aliens invade New Zealand and get a taste for balls
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)

haha

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)

The House on Haunted Hull
A building constructed over Rod Hull's grave gets haunted by an angry emu ghost
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)

Twelve Donkeys
Blackpool beach.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)

The Sith Sense
A small boy can sense Darth Vader
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)

A block of text has made the front page of b3ta.
This is clearly a sign of the apocalypse.

Another could be when Gonzo was able to spell 'dehydrate' without any errors.

What signs of the apocalypse have you seen and how are you preparing for the end of mankind?
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

Yesterday I saw a midget riding down the middle of the road on a pig
He was wearing a little Napoleon outfit.

These are the end times.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

I waved, you didn't wave back
:(
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)

*waves RIGHT AT YOU*

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:24, archived)

*sadfaces*

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

Rejected!

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)

*waves enough for a hundred spangolins*

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

FUCK YEAH BEARDY MAN.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)

BINKY
I am sorry I posted and ran. x
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)

I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE HARBINGER OF DEATH
I'll remember for next time
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)

Are we story telling?
Two days ago, I was in the bus station (waiting for the bus, obviously) and a mother was standing near me with her two kids. The older kid was throwing the the remains of his pasty to the pigeons (I was really hungry and hated watching this) then out of nowhere, his little brother who was drinking a bottle of pop, saw him doing this and decided to follow suit. Throwing a nearly full bottle of fanta at the pigeons. Knocking a couple of them off guard and one clean out. Funniest thing I've seen with pigeons since watching a tramp volly on into the side of a bin!
(

AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)

obviously you need to pour it into little cups

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:29, archived)

I sin dees 4 niggaws on orses

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

I had a block of text on the front page
That was a long time ago and the world didn't end then either.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

Have you factored in the swine flu?

(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

PARMAGEDDON!

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

Ha!

(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)

I can't claim that one
Ben Goldacre.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)

I like him, heard him on a podcast just yesterday.

(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)

APORKALYPSE

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)

I had a 6 word one:
Homophobes meeting; please use back door.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:22, archived)

ewwww
thats gay
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)

near me is "Chariots Roman Spa
(Entrance at Rear)"
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:24, archived)

I'd like to see more
ultimate trolling before I die.
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)

you shitcunt, that's my work you're linking there!
I did that!
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)

Well then, you know what I want for christmas from you

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)

that was when me and another tech support guy got sacked from Zen Internet
they ran that shitty little recruitment site, anyone could register and just post a job description there

somehow this information found its way onto Usenet and several IRC channels
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)

haha
Nice. I was looking through my old liked posts and that one still makes me laugh
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)

there were hundreds of pages like that, attrition only archived the front page
Zen got tired of clearing out the database every half hour and closed the site down
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:30, archived)

I like the woman doing the Picard palm face at the bottom.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)

Facepalm Girl, Deadperson Stickpoker, Mong and Dancey Man
None of them look like particularly employable sorts
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)

sniff
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:24, archived)

So...
how was your birthday then?... Hmm?... The one you share with hubare?...
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)

sniffSNOFF
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)

Ahuh... right... of course...

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)

BARKBARKBARK
BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKbarkbarkbarkBARKBARKBARKbarkbarkbark.....
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:30, archived)

Hey there boy! Would you like a biscuit?

(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

I still can't figure out how he presses the keys

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

Maybe he has a head dobber

(

SuperMatt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:39, archived)

impossible, he can't look up to the top row

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:41, archived)

There have been a couple of days when I haven't wanted to kill anyone.
Troubling times.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)

I get this sometimes.
But only after I've killed everybody on my list.
It never lasts long.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

If I were going down that slippery slope I'd have probably slid into 'there'll be less money so they'll make films they know lots of people will want to see in the cinema, ie BIG BOOM CRHHSHAWW BADADADADADADAAD KNNNEEEEOOWWWW NAZIS'

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:27, archived)

I like this post so much I'm going to copy it onto a block of cheddar, then shred the cheddar.
Grate forum banter.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:30, archived)

I've got nothing interesting to say here
if you had nothing interesting to say and you were starting a thread on a messageboard just to shift a food thread off the top, what question would you ask?
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

fucknose.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

Probably that one

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

Who would you ban from /talk?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

all the shitcunts

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

discokingpin likened you to Wormulus down there.
lololol stirring.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

blue-namers, they're a funny bunch

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

How big is Friz's cock?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

I bet he could fit it in his mouth.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

[----------------------------------------------------------------------] - That Big
Where [-] is equal to your cock.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

do fat people really have small ones?

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

in comparison to the rest of them
probably.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

If the pubic mound gets fat, it often shortens the size of the cock

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)

sorry dude

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:33, archived)

Is an OMG Food thread better than a food thread?

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

I'd ask 'Why is Gilgamesh so shit?'
Go on, get your teeth into that one, i'm off anyway.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

noticing you now!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

following the rules of newtonian motion rather than relativity
how long would it take Lily Allen to suck off all the men in a Hoxton wine bar?

Swallowing, obviously.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

When was your last fire drill?
My last fire drill was MOMENTS AGO. The excitement in the air is palpable.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

I'd start something shit like a "when did you last cry?" thread

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

Chicken salad

(

broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

I don't know.
I normally ask people what colour pants they're wearing. I'm THAT amazing and interesting, Frank.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

Pink, with blue space invaders.
Oh yes.
(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

white.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

White with a picture of Jesus on the front

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)

Dark blue
they are a little tighter than my normal comfypants™ but I seem to be coping ok.
(

broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)

INVISIBLE

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)

dark green
and at the top it says 'one is not enough'
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)

Pink with stars on

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:24, archived)

:D

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

My knickers are ... christ, I can't bring myself to post that again

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:34, archived)

No.
Please don't.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:36, archived)

Roast turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, a bit of bacon, and bread sauce spread on both bits of bread.
I was answering glued eel's question about sandwiches. It was good. Then the thread I was replying in god deletered.
(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

and just like that
the internet is ruined.
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

You ruined it by deleting that thread, you utter
SHITCUNT
(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

I bet you've got a massive pair of pants covered in mud
and the arse of the trousers is disguised to look like a muddy dam type thing with logs and leaves and muck

and you sit in a river, hoping otters will mistake your silken tube for their set and crawl up it.
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

It's true.
I got them off your Dad.
(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

BANG
and the internet is gone.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

Food on food going into my mouth food food food

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

I this a list of Bob Geldof's children's names?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

i had a microwaveable panini for lunch
MICROWAVEABLE.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

it was SURPRISINGLY CRISP for microwave food.
and yet, still nauseating.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

The mistake was believing delicious food other than baked potato could come from the microwave

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

the mistake is thinking a microwave is an acceptable place to cook a potato
for anyone who doesn't suck off goats for pleasure and profit.

Oven on about 140, rub oil and salt on the skin, into the oven for about 3 hours.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)

Yes, because we all want to wait until 10pm to eat a bloody potato

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:24, archived)

start earlier then, you fool
or eat something that is more suited to the timescale you have available.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:29, archived)

i didnt believe it was be delicious.
i believed it would be warm and cheesy.

I WAS RIGHT.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:24, archived)

I got one of them from Waitrose
it was OK, actually. I didn't realise it was microvavey until I got it home. Bearable, though.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)

~~both bits of bread~~ Supermatt's naked, pale, writhing body.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

om nom nom.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

I THINK YOU'RE ALL TOO MEAN TO POOR SUPERMATTY.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

Yes please

(thediscokingpin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

Could we all please just take a second to admire Wormulus?
Wormulus.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

Admire?
No
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

LAUGH AT MY HILARIOUS JOKE YOU SHITCUNTS
b3ta.com/talk/6270586
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

I thought it was quite funny

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

I bet he has a fine collection of scarves.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

I wore a scarf once, this is internet fact.

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

Who?

(

M o D, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

has he finally stopped making those tedious fat jokes about you then?
that's a relief
(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

FAT
F-A-T
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

Spectrum is green

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

there seemed to be a phase where he'd reply to your every post with them
i'm glad to see it's all been cleared up
(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

so is he fat or not?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

i've no idea

(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

I feel he's wasted a lot of his time in that case

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)

never having met him or seen a picture of him
i've always assumed that he's probably marginally tubby and the whole lolfat thing is just a meme
(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

We've finally established my fatness

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

bet you're 6 stone really and you just pretend to be disgustingly obese to get attention online

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)

I type posts on here wearing fat gloves

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

Its all an act, i admit it:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

El Guiri keeps sending me "comedy" songs with shit lyrics
They're like..

..REALLY shit.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

lol justlike ur shit comedy songs lol

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

Ha, yeah.

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

*highfives*

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)

lol justlike ur shit comedy songs lol

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

what a coincidence!

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

don't playa hate
lilly allan remix hooooooooooo

there's just this thiiiiing that's getting in the way
when we go up to bed you´re just so shit and you´re so lame
I look into your eyes and I just want to bone you
and then you do a trump and you make me lose my boner

ITS GENIUS

edit: sing it just for me loverboy. I will send food.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

Actually.. you arent Wormulus are you?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

This one is clearly one of mine.

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

All you've done there, right, is swap the pronouns around so it's about a boy singing to a girl
Right

And you've also replaced "no good" with "so shit". This is pointless.

And also, what you've done, is rhymed "bone you" with "boner".

It's...

It's just awful.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

Actually, I notice no swapped pronouns in that segment
In the full version, he has done exactly this.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

its the pronunciation
you = ya

You would never make a rapper friz. Or if you did you would be Biggie Smalls.

However, coming back to our song... it has potential if it's accompanied with a stupid video. Instead of some fat fucker on his yamaha keyboard. x x x

Stupidity rocks man. It doesn't need to have sense.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)

However, the key rhythmic beat would land on the penultimate syllable of the line
ie, "Bone".

So, you're just rhyming Bone with Bone.

It's Calvin Harris-level turd.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)

you fackin' WHAT?!
make sense, man
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)

Here's a gaz he sent me:
"ooooooooooooooooooh

ok then do a good one to this song

i think i´m a lot more crude than you.

trumps and vaginas make me laugh. except vagina trumps. they are just WRRRrrrong

p.s. i think mine is funny tho, with someone doing a flash video for youtube"
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

Lilly's song about a bad carpenter

There's just one thing
That’s getting in the way
When we build a Shed
badly splintered wood
Its such flimsy frame
I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
And its apparent it's fallen over

It’s not square and I think it's gunna lean
I think it's gunna lean
I think it's gunna lean
You’re suppose to care
You need a support beam
You need a support beam.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

oh dear

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

i know.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

The tempo is completely off in the verse
But this has potential.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

You've done it. Splendid work, DG.
9.8 badgers out of 10
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

It took me 20 seconds
It was more to prove a point that his one was a bit pants
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

I like this
if only there was a button to press...

edit: add some vagina farts for winnage
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

no thanks, he's not noteworthy

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

Who is?

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

Sammi

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

flaptack.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

i mean, flatpack

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

i mean, me.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

YAY ME.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

Who?

(

Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)

ME

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

ME BINKY
(

sleepybinky, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

syncubus

(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

He makes things out of MDF
I bet he used to get a broom on whilst watching changing rooms
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

I like it when he gets excited in real life and he can't touch his heels on the floor for more than one second as he bounces around talking about something sick
He's cunt and I love him.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

Aww bless

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

This is a lie.

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

I thought he was dead?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

I get Wormulus confused with Gilgamesh sometimes
The names are too different to confuse, but they seem to have a lot of similarities in what they do that if I just skim read I don't realise who is who.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

Clearly, I am currently at the top.
What would like to be asked more often?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

i'd like to see people asking what questions they'd like to see being asked more commonly

(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

Would you rape me please?

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

It would save lots of pain for everyone in the long run if they just asked me to do it.

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

Shh, I want to hear more about imagining tennis in the heat

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

I'm looking at a hot and sweaty fit as fuck Russian tennis player on the TV box right now.
Plus, I fucking hate the Williams sisters. Almost as much as I hate Azarenka
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

It is a RIDICULOUS scenario, isn't it?!

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

I rocked back into my chair, lit my pipe and let out a little guffaw at the absurdity of it all

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

It's like that episode of Doctor Who when they visited the Planet of Playing Tennis in the Heat
and Doctor Who was like "the fuck is this?"
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

Then Ace blew up Robo-Sampras with her satchel of pipe bombs

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

And that CyberHenMan was like "YOU WILL BECOME LIKE UZZZZ"

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

"why don't you shut up?"

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

would you like a cup of tea?

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

HELLO EL GUIRI!

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

Have you been ignored?
What did you do?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

Ths is the joke
I don't know! There was no explanation, they just made a post about how much they hated me and bing!

I sent them gazzes and everything but all for naught.
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

Shocking

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

HELLO!

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

A CUP OF TEA WOULD BE LOVELY

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

LOOK AT ALL THE ATTENTION YOU ARE GETTING

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

WHY DON'T YOU RESPOND TO SOME OF THE ATTENTION?

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

WHAT'S THAT EL GUIRI?
YOU CAN'T HEAR ME?
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

I DON'T UNDERSTAND?
WHY CAN'T YOU HEAR ME?
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

HAVE YOU BEEN DEAFENED BY THE SOUND OF THE IGNORE DRUMS?

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

If anyone wants, they can write nasty things about this user here
and they'll never know.
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

Not even that
He'll only reply if you're nice to him

www.b3ta.com/talk/6268548
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

I think it's safe to say I'm massively upset that I can't chat to this fantastic forum user.

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

His fat face jokes aren't even funny :(

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)

At what point did he think that wasn't a shit post?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

Wormulus touches young boys

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

He's got a lot of forehead

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

I don't know who it is. *shakes fist*

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

why would anyone want to do that?

(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

THE CLIQUE
FOR THE CLIQUE
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

i'm not a member of any cliques
is there a form i can use to apply to join? or a least a list of the major ones
(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

Have you actually ignored Wormulus
Or are you fake ignoring?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

Take two seconds to reflect on how retarded asking that question there is.

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)

How is it retarded?
She didn't reply to one of your posts.

Idiot.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

Actually, point taken.

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

OH GOD DAMN IT!
Is Psychochomp here? We had a little game to see how long I could be nice to Pickle Fairy for.

I made it less than a week :(
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

Thank fuck

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

wtf are you talking about?
edit: holy shit how did you know that? I don't even remember that.. was I drunk?

I don't really like him tbh, seems boring and a complete loser. At school, he is the person I would have bullied.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)

HELO DUM DUM

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

arghh get off the internet fatso you're slowing it down
how's you?

I've made deals worth over 11k these past 2 days. I'm happy with myself cos now I can do fuck all this month :D
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

You've made deals worth over 11k?
What?

Is this like World of Warcraft slang or something?
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

perhaps it's a 32k type thing
fucking low poly and that
(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

no no
like doing teh business stuff.

nice to have friends in high places. especially when you are doing their wifes website muahaha :D
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

What?
"nice to have friends in high places. especially when you are doing their wifes website"

How do those sentences even CONNECT.

Yeah.

It's also nice to have a hot drink in the sun especially when your Gran has diabetes.

What the fuck.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

Reading between the lines I think it's basically
I've got loads of money, and enjoy wanking off dogs.
(Bababoon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

haha

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

I need a website designing, GAZ me

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

I look forward to seeing how THIS pans out

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

Actually so do I
LOOK AT THE BUSINESS YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

yee canae afford me

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

I damn well can afford you, I'm not some fly by night shitcunt student wanker
I'm a software engineer, I can do all the backend crapola but I can't design for shit
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)

ah, i can't do any of the backend stuff
I have a project I need doing too. But i'm scared to ask a b3tan.

Can you do a backend multi user DB, able to create invoices, statements etc from the data, and link it to a web interface?

websites are a secondary thing for me, I prefer network security as my main strong point (more money).
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

yes
I can do that in my sleep
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)

I found a glass bead, and a half eaten Big Mac.
I'm not even going to try and top that this year.
(Bababoon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

I love it when people talk about their employer's money like it's their own

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

THE SCATHING ATTACKS ON WORMULUS CONTINUE
I for one am shocked at this vitriol
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

>:O

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

I bet you were bullied at school.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

I bet you were bullied at school.

(

well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

I was actually
when I was 6 someone through my transformers rubber on top of the building and I cried.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

I see you came threw it quite well though

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

Oh, I get it

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

It is hard to refute these facts
But he does have his charms.

Quickly, someone list his charms.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

y wud u wan to buly him? wrmuls is such nice chp, u shd b ashmd

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

that's alright
he hasn't been here much
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

Oh PAUL you BASTARD

(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

Aye.
Ever since El Guiri ignored Wormulus, Wormulus has actually STOPPED POSTING!

Hasn't he guys!

*wink*
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

Someone tell him to take me off ignore long enough to read my gazzes
and then he can stick me back on it as soon as he's done.
(

WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

Would you like to have Supermatt as your personal naked butler and driver?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

little bit of sick came up just then
who am I trying to kid, it was quite a lot of sick really
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

Hahahaha

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

I read "butler" as "buttered"
*fans self*
*opens a window*
*applies frozen peas*
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

Mmm freshly buttered Supermatt
Thats nonce fresh, right there.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

I Can't Believe It's Nonce Butter

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

Bread and bummed her pudding

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

Would you pay me to sunbathe?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

I'd pay you to never be seen in public again.
I could probably even get that payment tax free as a charity.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

Hmmm
Can I be seen never again in public but somewhere sunny? Like a garden?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

No, if you're outside or the building has windows people might accidently catch a glimpse of you and need expensive therapy.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

Oh
I don't want your money then.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

You can't reject charity.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

Watch me

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

Somebody stop her! She's rejecting charity!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

Pfft
MOT cant even give it away.

Poor MOT:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

It's nothing a nuclear bomb won't sort out.
So what if we have to take Scotland with her?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

ask me about piles

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

Do you enjoy having piles?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

it's like having a rockery, but on my bum

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

What causes piles?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

bark bark bark
BARK BARK BARK!
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

Oh thank god.
We all feared the worst after the news today :(
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

Police dog is a guffbeak

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

he's still alive!
HOORAY!

*tips entire sack of dog biscuits over you*
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)

sniffle snoffy sniff arooooo

(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

I hope someone leaves you in a car.
And doesn't open any windows
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

BARK BARK BARK BARK
huuurrn hhurrrn BOIK BARK BARK
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

YAY! Whosesagoodboy!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

Would you like another beer?

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

Yes please sexy BFF

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:50, archived)

*passes beer*
drink up!
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

Wooo

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

here, have another

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

Did you know a Roadrunner is an actual bird?

(Bababoon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

Why would you want to be asked that?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

So I can say
'Why yes it is'. Then maybe smoke a pipe. Suave innit.
(Bababoon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

v d

/don't ask why
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

I'm guessing it's because you can't spell "suede"

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

Or that I can,
and chose not to do it correctly.

Or that I just forgot.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

I just made a joke, 'What sort or material would a pirate who was a fan of leather with a napped finish wear as an eyepatch?'
'Suade, because the pirate was also Sade who also wears an eyepatch'
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

oh no shit, that's gabrielle
sorry guys
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

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