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HOLY FUCK!
We have FUCKING HAILSTONES!!!!!!!!!

It's May for fuck sake!

EDIT: Aww, it's stopped already, now it's just pissing down.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

no hailstones here
I just mowed the lawn
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

you tell all the best stories

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

and I watched Star Trek ONLINE!
with russian subtitles
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

what happened next!

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

lunch probably

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

oh boy

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

were there lots of wessels?

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

Where's the cocking Sun?

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

next to the star and the mirror

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Me too.
And the hedges and borders and shit.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 9 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

down with the kidz eh?

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

where the hell are you?

(

Batsgirl, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Scotland.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6136361
(

Batsgirl, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

haha, unlucky

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

Could be worse.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

That's what you get for living in wrong-land

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

So do you.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

But it's sunny here

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Not for long I bet.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Stop being so cheery

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

I will allow you to come to the bus station at 10.30 tomorrow with bacon rolls for me, ok?

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

That's ok
But don't be surprised if I don't :P
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

You only have to deliver them.
You can piss off again after that.

Make sure there is tomato sauce on them though.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

Uh huh

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

Don't scrimp on the bacon either.
I don't want to be hungry on the bus.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

I got rather drunk last night.
I've only been drunk 3 times this year, each time in this month.

Lovely social anxiety distroying vodka, and your harsh cruel mistriss, the hangover.

Atually, it's not to bad, yay vodka and handfulls of verious painkillers !
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

Are you drinking your way out of the hangover?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

Nah', it's not bad enough for that.
i meant, yay vodka for last night, yay painkillers for... well, I'm always taking them.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

gosh, weather

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

cheer up eh?

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

how can I be cheery when there is weather occuring?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

it rained a bit here yesterday
then it was sunny, then it rained again, then it was windy

I'm expecting a cold snap
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

I'm so sorry

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

in other news, I just brushed my teeth

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

I've just finished eating my toast.
I might have a Feast now. Would you like to hear about what shoes I'm wearing?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

I ate some food once

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

Me too!
This means we're married.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

FUCKING HELL!
it's a bit windy.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

In your pants.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

Weather!
YES!

Hurray, the shop across the road has Mint Feasts.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

I am ambivalent about Feasts.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

Played beach football this morning and our goal started to blow away.
Therefore my forecast for today is - Windy.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 9 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

You are more likely to get hail in Spring and Autumn that any other time of year

(

Mrs Sp@m, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

Stop it with your facts and sense.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

Well my sense was wrong it's actually early summer
Hail forms in strong thunderstorm clouds, particularly those with intense updrafts, high liquid water content, great vertical extent, large water droplets, and where a good portion of the cloud layer is below freezing 0 °C (32 °F). The growth rate is maximized at about −13 °C (9 °F), and becomes vanishingly small much below −30 °C (−22 °F) as supercooled water droplets become rare. For this reason, hail is most common in mid-latitudes during early summer where surface temperatures are warm enough to promote the instability associated with strong thunderstorms, but the upper atmosphere is still cool enough to support ice.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

Swot!
Hello
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

Hello Mr Bogus
I am off to Forster Square in a moment to spend money I do not have. How are you?
(

Mrs Sp@m, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Bored and really looking forward to doing the last train from L**ds tonight
I asked for the day off too. Go to Home Bargains, you can get a big jar of pickled jalapeños for 89p.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Oh, and I'll be in Forster Square station at 3 if you're about to cheer me up.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Oooo we might be, I'll look out for you, will you be on the platform?

(

Mrs Sp@m, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Platform 3 probably, on our way to Ilkley

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

I got a train from Leeds once
I didn't realise the local custom was to elbow your way through the crowds of commuters the second the train came in sight
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

Cunts, they are
Even cattle have better manners.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

Hailstorms are good
but they last about 5 seconds.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 9 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Watch BBC2 from 12.30 - 1.00 today.
I'm on the telly. See if you can spot me.

Do you collect loose change?
(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

yes.
In fact...

www.b3ta.com/talk/6132500

From just 2 days ago.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

I only have £6.91

(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

We've been saving it up for a while now.
To go towards our holiday.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

I've been saving for about 2 months.

(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

I should point out here that Arsenal lost to Manchester United in the Champions League this week

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

what was the score?

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

I heard it was 57-0 to United

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

i seem to accumulate it yes
i'm like fucking magneto the rate i attract shrapnel
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

What program?
and yep, I have a big bag full of coppers. Too heavy to take to the machine at Asda now though...
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Sound.
It's some music show.
(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Why?
Copper and fives.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Fives add up bloody quickly.
We had about £17 in 5's.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

I fill a Quality Street tin
It's usually about £40. Plus I like the noise it makes as you pour it into the machine at the supermarket.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

What is the "machine at the supermarket" trickery?
Exec mentioned ASDA up there too...
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

coinstar machines, change all your shrap for a voucher
charge you 8.5p in every pound
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

Hmm. Never heard of them. handy though.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

if you bank with barclays some of the lager branches also have a similar machine which charges you nowt and deposits the money into your account

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

You pour your money in a machine, it takes about 7% from you for the trouble.
Then you get a voucher that you can cash in in the shop.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

We don't have those here.
Would save trailing it all the the bank.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

But the bank is free
Much better idea.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

So basically it's a machine which charges you for having money.
What sort of idiot no-brained spasticated cunt would use a machine like that? 7%? Fuck me, that's worse than some bank loans.

Here's an idea, just give the shrapnel to the woman at the till. She's not allowed to refuse it.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

Of course she can refuse it
You can refuse anything over twenty coins of any denomination. Shut up.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

Not quite as clear cut as that on the legal tender rules
but if you're going to allow machines like that to exist, it's a massive disregard to money, capitalism and the whole idea of what you make money for. I might as well introduce a 7% poverty tax on anyone who wants to pay me in coins, if I were a trader.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

Hippy

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

Bollocks
the machine charges a fee for providing a convenient service...more or less a perfect example of capitalism.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

It charges a fee for converting perfectly good cash into store credit
Any cunt who willingly pays for a service like that is a premium-grade 700bn dollar bail-out hydrocephalic moron.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

It's not store credit
They give you cash.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

If it were my shop I'd give it back to you in change
just to teach you not to be a cunt with your money.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

You're tiresome

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

and you're an idiot

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

Quite

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

www.royalmint.com/corporate/policies/legal_tender_guidelines.aspx
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

Ah, that's where I got the 20 thing from, the penny thing.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

The bank usually accepts it all.
As long as it's in bags in the correct denomination and amounts on the bag.

£10 in 20p's
£5 in 10p's
£5 in 5p's
£1 in 2's
£1 in 1's
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Not around here they don't
They don't like cash at all. It's very odd.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

I meant to add "as long as you are paying it into an account".

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

I recall the missus trying to pay a few bags of cash into Lloyds
There was a limit. Mind you, she is suing them for something.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

Post Offices
are usually up for it.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

Yeah. Dirty fuckers that they are.
I'll stamp their Giro...
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

I'd like to pay my TV licence
all over their counter.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

it's nothing to do with poverty.
If you're in poverty, you don't accumulate £50-worth of change, you spend it bit by bit because you don't have the option of just handing over a note.

The 7% is a tax on not having to be arsed bagging up all your change in the correct amount/denominations to hand it over at the bank no more than five bags at a time, not having to feel embarrassed holding up a queue while you count out shrapnel at the shops, and the convenience of being able to take the big bag of change to the supermarket (where you would go anyway) in order to change it into a store voucher (for a store where you would be shopping anyway).
(

Batsgirl, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

last time i used one it was 98 pounds of loose change
for ease of exchange for notes it is a blessing, my bank will only take 5 bags of change a day
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:09, archived)

They'll only take 5 bags without prior notice
But you were willing to lose over six quid of all that cash, just for the sake of making a phone call to your local branch?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

6 quid? fuck it, doesn't even get me a packet of fags these days

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

She is

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

I'm dancing.

(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Is it at a McFly show?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

No.
Dizzee Rascal.
(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

Racist.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

no
yes
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

no, I only use notes and cards and throw all my other money into a bin

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

i only use pennies and therefore never get any change
i find this to be the easy way to make life simpler
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Yes
I use it to buy real money.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

Are you the one who looks like a desperate loser who wants to be noticed?
I throw anything smaller than a twenty pound note at poor people.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

there's poor people?
how revolting, why don't they get some money, or die
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

I'll be the one mocking the dancing of the guy next to me

(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

You self-conscious prick

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

I couldn't give a fuck.
I'll be finished with my dissertation in TWO HOURS.

FUCK YEAH
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

Swing your pants

(

magnum, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

yes.
Bank it all.

Right my lovelies I'm off for a drink. seeya later alligators.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Sorry, I'll be watching Shipwrecked

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

sometimes i miss this place
back in the day i was here so much
(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

Then you should know better.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

who are you

(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

An internet personality.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

I often wonder why people can't just get along.
Y'know?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

you i remember

...vaguelly
(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

did i spell "vaguelly" incorrectly?

(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

I'm /talk's ladies' man.
My life is made up of dry martinis and wet thighs. Most people want to be me.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

i've never seen you on this forum before

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

how dare you
i'm almost 3k posts
(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

i've still never seen you
i'm going to load my car, imagine that
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

but still
a five-digit user number.
(

Batsgirl, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

hey fellow aussieland person
how goes it?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

hard and fast

(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

Awesome.
And deep hopefully?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

oh yeah

(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

it's far too fucking early for this shit :(

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

apologies.
have a tissue. I only give out internet hugs if asked for one. so that's all you're getting.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

huggles...?
fuck right orf
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

not in australia

(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

true.
christ I could go a drink actually.
/thinks about going out to the pub.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

marvellous

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

for a short duration of time

(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

It's still shit.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

suspected as much
or would that be expected
(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

Which day was that then?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

I remember that profile picture.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

haha you're such a fucking stalker

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

It's a bit difficult to forget

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

i dont click on peoples profiles
i care little for the shit contained and most seem to have some wacky quiz things describing what character they are in starwars or such shite
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

only the best ones have scat

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

my one contains all the information you need about me

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

i know everything

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

well mine was good for that one photo
mind you it's several years out of date
(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

Mine doesn't
It's meant to call you a cunt but Frank's done something shit to his code thing and now it's just black.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

It still smells

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

too late to still reply
you fail

and with that i bid talk adieu

until we meet again
(riedacher_bertram, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

and now for something completely different

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Hello children
How are we celebrating Blue Star being an old dwarf today? I will do so by having a ten hour shift, which will be lovely.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

i've broken my mcf rattler, sadtimes

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Blimey! What will you do?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

buy a new one i suppose
another 20 quid down
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

what does one of them do?

(

MrA, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

It rattles

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

it provides brilliant drop back bite indication

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

oh noes!
use a float!
(

MrA, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

i have other ones, i'll use those, i like the rattlers tho, they are nice and heavy
don't get no false indications from the small fish or the wind
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

I was having a PANIC but It's ok now.
I have a concert tomorrow and I realised, although I booked and paid for the hotel room a few months ago, that the card I booked the room with had expired and I've not received my replacement yet. Which could cause buggery when I went to check in.
I phoned the hotel and told the phone monkey about my problem. He replied "The card you used to pay doesn't expire till next year..."
I told him the expiry date (last month) and he changed his tune. Said it wouldn't be a problem then went completely silent till I just said thank you and goodbye. Cock.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

Deep breaths

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

Who wants to walk the streets of Glasgow at all hours of the morning?!
The fucking bell-end can't even read the date.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

Now you mention it
Mine runs out on 06/09. I have a hotel booked in That London for the beginning of the month.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

I phoned the bank last week and they apologised profusely.
Swore my replacement would be here by the end of this week.
Cunts.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

london?!?!?!?!?1
wow you should like totally come and see me, and we could have a cup of tea in the ritz and that
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

Look
I've already spent an arm and a leg getting a hotel Up West. I'm taking sarnies and a flask.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

we could sit in hyde park, and that and have a cup of tea
not on a deck chair tho, they charge for those
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

A romantic picnic in the park.
The Sean Tully in him is probably moist at the thought.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

don't tell him but i will take a book of poetry and read it to him whilst feeding him grapes

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Genuine lol.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

:(

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Mwah! xx

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

To be honest
I don't want to meet you. I fear the unfamiliar and I will actually be trying to get bollocksed so I can sleep through Mama Mia while the missus enjoys herself.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

i bet he's absolutely gutted now

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

don't tell him but i am really heart broken
i've been planning all this since he first mentioned he was coming to london in this thread, the time i've wasted :((((
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

I'm such a bitch

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

chin up and that
he smells of piss anyway. the lengths i go to, to avoid the old cunt when i'm passing through yorkshire. tiring it is.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

Next time I will follow the scent
It pervades, you know.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

i do not bash

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Not what I've heard

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

yer, hearing's one of the first things to go when you're old

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Oh I heard it loud and clear, dear.
Along with the deafening hum of flies screaming for mercy as they tried to escape your cavernous clunge.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

i don't do sex either
fuck knows who you've been talking to
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Bog doors all over the country attest to your prowess

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

well, that's all my plans thrown out of the window
i suppose i will have to find someone else to share my time with, good day to you sir
(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

Makes a change from the other way round.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

I'll twat thee

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Im on fire today.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

*tsssssst finger thing*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

*clicks fingers then finger guns at you*

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Did he sing "The card you used to pay doesn't expire till next year..."
To the tune of She'll be Coming Round the Mountain when she Comes?
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

No.
Cos that doesn't fit.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

The card you used to pay, doesn't expire till next year
The card you used to pay, doesn't expire till next year
The card you used to pay doesn't expire
used to pay doesn't expire
The card you used to pay, doesn't expire till next year
:)
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

No.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

it could
if you shortened some of the words.
"t'card you used t'pay does not expire til next year"
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

and lengthen "used" = uuuused
and "doesn't expire" is fast
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

Aye
I like you. Have my b3ta babies?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

*bumovulates*
*bends over*
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

/pulls on strap on
/impregnates.

yay. b3ta bubs on the way!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

So what you're saying is...
It doesn't work (unless you change it...)
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

it's still the same phrase
just changing 'ow you say it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

That sounds like an Obamanism
I'd go with "phrasing it properly" ;)
(

Three Dog Man, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Phone monkey?
Since when has a hotel receptionist, who almost singlehandedly represents the hotel you are staying at, been demoted to a phone monkey?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

When they are a cock.
Who can't read a bloody date. Can't say you're welcome or goodbye and was basically just impolite and didn't bother to trouble themselves to reassure a customer.
If it wasn't for the fact I've been to this hotel before and I like it I'd be increasingly worried that I was going to some hovel.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

Still, there's no need to be nasty.
Feel the love. Hate the hate.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

No.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

9 days until my 21st! YEAH!

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

Aww.
You're only ickle...

Bless.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

I was 21 in Portugal
Of course, it was called Lusitania in those days.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

lucky you
its... nearly 4 years to my 21st :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

that's good eating

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

Tidying and doing fuck all, probably.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

It's as good as a loafing session

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I just spend £100 on a printer and what not so I can print my dissertation

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

I might suggest it would be cheaper to borrow a mate's printer,
But what do I know?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

he'd have to buy some friends first, i suggest holding a comedy night

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Failing that
Give minors some drugs
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 9 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Mate's printer wouldn't be good enough.
The universities printer would cost me about £40/£50 for all the printing I need to do.

This way, I have a high quality printer for future use and can print my dissertation without it looking shit.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Seminal emission.
LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

*stares*
What do you want, eh?
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

Cash and rice krispies.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

That would make the rice crispies all grimy
ewwwww
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

SEND CASH.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

I do, every week, don't you get it?

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

No. :(

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

Yes?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

SHUT UP
I'm going to be on telly today.
(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

I hope a terrorist attack kills your face off before they film you.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

that's well friendly innit?
.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

People who spell vampire "vampyr" or similar should all be used for medical experiments and then gassed.
Along with people who spell magic "magick", fairy "faerie" and so forth.
Twats, one and all.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

The wisdom of Baldmonkey
sounds like a good sequel.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

There's a book in that...

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

funny that
I didn't think monkeys were bald.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

silence?
truly - an epic post sir.
If you don't like my name - Big deal. Call me Vamp or Cat if you are so horrified by the "yre" in the middle.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

I'll stick with "Prick who'll strop off within a week"
if that's okay.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

hmmm ...
doesn't prick imply that I have male genitalia?
I'm actually very friendly you know. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

You sound a mini bit like a bell-end though.

(

Druid, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

My apologies then.
Not intending to. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

If Balders is being like that don't try to be clever, just tell him he's a piggy cunt.
According to my autocomplete it's what I call him.
(

Druid, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:22, archived)

~~If Balders is being like that~~ , just tell him he's a piggy cunt.
According to my autocomplete it's what I call him.

It's for the best.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

Will keep that in mind for the future!
Ta mate. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

That's right, he's mocking you because cats aren't typically vampires and not because of your dumb spelling.
Sheesh.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

Tunes are normally nep, you spaz-hammer.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

Know when you're speaking to a god and show some fucking respect, you little cunt.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

I was a god once.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:08, archived)

b3ta.wik.is/R/Religion/Church_Of_The_Righteous_Trinity
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

I remeber.
It fell flat on its arse, didn't it?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:22, archived)

Like a drunk sumo wrestler with no legs.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

I remember you promised us a Second Coming
but you just rolled over and fell alseep instead, you selfish swine
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

I'm listening to Wave Twisters by DJ Q-Bert this morning.
It's set to be an ace day.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

I don't really have another username :(

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

You evil cunt.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

I've been living a lie for too long

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

at least you came clean about it.

(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

I always do.
Unless I've run out of tissues.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

then
have a shower? still coming clean. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

That's my tactic if I have company.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

good tactic. I like it.
Mind if I steal it?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

Get your own shower.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

but I like *your* shower.
Please?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

I hope you're on Freaky Eaters.

(

Druid, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

what are you up to?

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

Level 12 Shit-Wizard
with +4 shield of Dullite
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

I'm looking.
What now?
(

Druid, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

I don't know.
I don't think we ever planned this far ahead.
(

Batsgirl, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

Let's all just sit down, take some deep breaths and make some sandwiches until it all blows over.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

but... what sort of sandwiches?
*panic spin*
(

Batsgirl, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
eee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

Baldmonkey is a fucking piggy cunt.
That's on autocomplete. I don't remember saying it.
(

Druid, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

*body slam*
b3ta.wik.is/N/N00b
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

WHAT?!

(

Druid, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

b3ta.wik.is/N/NSFCG
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

b3ta.wik.is/N/NSFCG
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

b3ta.wik.is/G/Gizmo_
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

I wondered what happened to him.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

He got a prize, son.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Did the prize involve time off for good behaviour and signing a register?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

That wiki is actually fucking great
and should be used more often.
(

Druid, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Yes.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

YES.
I like reading about b3tans present and past. I want Ding to come back.
(

Druid, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

Christ, if I really squint, and preen my head close, and use as much zoom as possible
I can just about see your penis.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

GAY.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

b3ta.wik.is/G/Gay
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Good morning!
Did you do your seminal emission over pictures of JMG?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

No.
I've made a life size model of him out of play doh and I've given it real eyes from a seagull so if he really concentrates he can see me.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

Oooh play-doh.
Try not to eat too much of it. I know it claims to be non-toxic, but it's not good for you.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

No.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

yeah, i might go erect my bivvy near some water

(

mongychops, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

What are your plans this morn?
I'm going to watch bobson AWESOME do his abseil for charity.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Sat 9 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

Bobson AWESOME enjoys regular couplings with his closest female relatives

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

~~female~~
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

Cut the rope.
Just a little bit. Give him a scare from us.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 9 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

SHUSH
I've just got back from the strip club. Not quite drunk enough.
Got fondled by strippers.
Best friday ever.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Sat 9 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

yeeeey!

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

a combination
of housework and arsing about online until such time as my boyfriend wakes up. Then we have to go into town and find a birthday card and present for one of his friends.
(

Batsgirl, Sat 9 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah you need pizza
every one of you!

/makes giant pizza.
/bakes.
/slices up and hands out.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:15, archived)

See, this is what i dislike about Ozzies.
Its the 'whackiness'

And the need to shorten everyones names.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

I demand some sort of reparations.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

And yet you shorten "Australians"
Into "Ozzies"!
Hypocrite!

I'm Whacky. Get used to it. /pokes out tongue
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:20, archived)

Touche

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

Hold on, you're a girl
I think im supposed to pander to you in the vague hope that you'll whap your baps out.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

Just talk amongst yourselves whilst i dig out the Pandertron 4000
Now where's that manual?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

/slow claps
well done, you just won a "Captian Obvious" Badge.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

Is that like Captain?
But different?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:24, archived)

Aye
Said with a silent "I".
"Cap-tan!"
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

was talking to people earlier today about how good pizza is in the early hours. or cold the morning after
(almqvist, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

aye
Very good stuff. I used to work in a pizza shop. I loves making pizza.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

Are you Fry from Futurama?
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:34, archived)

niente!
I am Vampyrecat from Australia! :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:38, archived)

I find this very dependant on crust, - some crusts are rock-hard and inedible when cold, but some are lovely.
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

depends on the thickness.
if you have it thinner and flakier it'll be easy to eat cold, if it's thick and chewy when hot it'll be rock hard when cold.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

Ah the deep pan versus italian debate
Its a toughie.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

thin, stone-baked base EVERY TIME.
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

Ive always found that dispite what it says on the box, heating it in the oven is rubbish
Do it on a skillet or similar for far better results.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

The best pizza I've ever eaten was cooked on a Weber kettle barbecue.
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

I had a great one in Italy
It had a whole baby octopus in the middle
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

Wow, - if you spread the tentacles out evenly you could cut it into 8 slices and have one one each...

Or substitute a starfish if you fancied less slices...
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:29, archived)

Weber kettle barbecues
are the best barbecues ever invented. FACT.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:36, archived)

I agree, and as an Australian I believe you should be something of an authority on barbecues.
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

Aha yep.
I remember when I was a wee lass my dad taking ages to get the Weber perfect - mum always used to complain but the new barbie we have has never cooked anything half as well as that weber did.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

you my sir, are a genius
nothing beats the soft crust, i just don't have the energy to rip through it after a big night
(almqvist, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:29, archived)

Grrr!
I hate having neighbours - you'd think that since their baby wakes me up with its screaming before 06:00 most days that they wouldn't have the audacity to come round here complaining about me using a circular saw in the loft at 07:00 on a Saturday...
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:47, archived)

next time, if you see them coming
spill lots of runny ketchup all over you, and answer the door holding a very ketchupy chefs knife and a manic grin.

That'll learn 'em.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 7:49, archived)

Good plan :-)
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:53, archived)

I thought so.
am lucky. I have no neighbours within earshot of my house. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 7:54, archived)

I shouldn't complain really, - the terrace the other side of me has been empty since I moved in a year ago, I'm sure I'll have lots more to complain about once the landlord lets it out to a posse of students and/or shouty foreign shift workers at some point in the future.
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

Go around there an give their baby something to cry about.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:49, archived)

Their baby already seems to have plenty to cry about...I might crawl through into their loft space with my circular saw and cut out "ceiling cat" style holes in the ceiling of each room...
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:51, archived)

I think you may be in the wrong here
And you clearly have very thin walls or their baby is stupidly loud. But still, it's a baby. Not a saw.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:52, archived)

Go out and buy BOOZE
You know you'll fancy some tonight
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:54, archived)

I have lots of booze
I'm just not drinking it. *willpower*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:54, archived)

I'd rather get woken up by a saw at 07:00 once in a blue moon than by a screaming baby at 05:30 most days... Though I do appreciate we have thin walls, which is why I dont march round to complain about their noise every time I get woken up.
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:57, archived)

How can you complain about a baby crying?
What are they supposed to do, switch it off?
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 9 May 2009, 7:58, archived)

I know the baby can't help crying, but they could probably have chosen until they could live in more appropriate housing before deciding to start a family, or could put the baby in the bedroom on the end of the terrace rather than right next to my bedroom.
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:05, archived)

Good grief.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:06, archived)

or maybe you could admit that you did the wrong thing and move on with your life

(

gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:11, archived)

How on earth do you expect me to enjoy my weekend if I haven't spent a good 2 hours bitching about something that was probably my fault to strangers on the internet?
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Well, I'm sure they feel the same
But there's not much you can do about a screaming baby. You on the other hand deliberately used your saw at a stupid time in the morning.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:58, archived)

Whisky.
That'll stop a screaming baby
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:09, archived)

Maybe their baby actually slept through for the first time EVER
yet you woke it up, therefore making a rod for your own back for the next two years.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 9 May 2009, 7:57, archived)

Anyway, fuck em and the results of their most likely regretted ,fetid, drunken fumblings
If they cant keep their mewling spawn quiet, why should you be?

Its not an unreasonable time or anything
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:08, archived)

Bless. You really are bored aren't you?

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:09, archived)

Why the hell did you think it would be a good idea to use the circular saw at 7 in the morning on a saturday, one of the only days a hard working person gets to sleep in?

(

gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:09, archived)

I suddenly realised that a man was coming to service the boiler in my loft at 08:00, but that he wouldn't do the work unless there was a safe, fixed floor for him to stand on whilst doing so. Therefore I wanted to cut a piece of floor and fix it in position before he got here.
(

C, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:12, archived)

You're a terrible person for this
I mean waking up a sleeping child simply so that a man can do his job safely?

Worse than Hitler.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 8:15, archived)

Don't mention the war!
I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

*waves*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:18, archived)

*Wafts lavender towards you*
/ac

Hello Condiment Elf, how are you?
(

Bats, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:21, archived)

Ooh Lavender
I am good but I have been up since 5.30... Why?! *sadface*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:24, archived)

Pass.
Maybe your blood sugars dropped suddenly and your body had a panic attack and woke you up?
(

Bats, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:26, archived)

Because you are an OLD

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:45, archived)

And still younger than you so ssh it up

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:54, archived)

/waves back
allo allo.
how goes it?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 7:22, archived)

Wobbly

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:25, archived)

Speaking of wobbles,
my ex has taken the snake and I didn't even get to say goodbye. I didn't want to say goodbye, it would be too upsetting, but the fact he didn't even offer was a fucking cheek.

Grr.
(

Bats, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:27, archived)

the bastard.
want me to scratch him for you??
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 7:28, archived)

Yes. Yes I would.
If you could break the narcissistic selfish cunt's kneecaps for me while you're there, that would be wonderful. Just break them a little bit.
(

Bats, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:29, archived)

/nips into work
/gets out meat tenderiser.
/hops on plane
/breaks the selfish cunts kneecaps.
/then his face.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 7:31, archived)

Thankyou :)
It's just one of those things, you know? Even if I said no, I was/am obviously very attached to her, he could have at least waited for me to get back from work or something. If he says "Well I only had the van for a few more hours", what was stopping him transporting her in his car and she could have been moved this morning. Argh. Anyway, shut up Bats. Whinging crying stupidness OVER :D
(

Bats, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:34, archived)

*hugs*
sounds like a prick all round. You're probably better off without him.
/sends hugs from the OZland.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 7:37, archived)

Bastard
*huggles*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:30, archived)

Whoooo
*Hug* :D
(

Bats, Sat 9 May 2009, 7:34, archived)

There's a wocket in my pocket.
Annoying rhyme that is stuck in my head. Curse you Dr Seuss!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 5:15, archived)

You have a pocket wocket?

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 5:17, archived)

Aye I do.
tis clawing at my thigh.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 5:18, archived)

I think you'll find that's a
1/ cat
2/ possum
3/ amorous b3tan
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 5:21, archived)

ohhh
it has fur and whiskers.
stupid cat.
Question - why do cats knead you with their claws?! it fucking kills!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 5:23, archived)

It's their way of saying I love you, because you feed me
I'm off to bed, got a birthday party in a few hours & I'm off my pickle. Nice to make your acquaintance
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 5:26, archived)

"off your pickle"? that's a new one.
have a nice sleep! nice meeting you too. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 5:28, archived)

This is in no way a roll call
I just couldn't be arsed scrolling down the page to see if anyone was still around.
Hello.
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:31, archived)

*sobs*

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:39, archived)

rofl

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:50, archived)

There is life
had a good evening?
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:53, archived)

hallo?
anybody round?
/waves
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 4:15, archived)

Evening

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:17, archived)

Noonies to you sir - tis saturday arvo here.
How goes it?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 4:17, archived)

Not bad ta
you new to b3ta?
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:18, archived)

no sir.
Am not new at all - have been here for two years!
Just don't swing around talk very often. Am usually found on OT :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 4:20, archived)

OT?

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:22, archived)

Is part of QOTW
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic

Is fluffy. Generally.
Do you like fluffy?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 4:25, archived)

Well, my nipples are quite hairy if that counts

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:28, archived)

quite honestly the most interesting
mental image I've had for a while. ta.

I don't have hair nipples. I'm quite thankful for that really!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 4:30, archived)

I've never really looked at question of the week
sell it to me
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:34, archived)

a motely collection
of fuckwits, halfwits, and some genuinely truly witty people who all try to compare penis length through a series of stories, each more fanciful, and spectacular then the last. At the end of the week - whoever has their story clicked the most has the biggest knob. Even if you're a girl.
It's grand fun. Notable names include Spanky Hanky, Legless, Che Grimsdale (a rare but epic poster), CHCB, Big girls blouse, Rachelswipe.

Common themse include: piss, vomit, shit, embarrassment, anger, love, and plain stupid stuff that makes you laugh out loud.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 4:39, archived)

Ok you said nothing about people droning on & on about what they had for lunch
count me in
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:41, archived)

well that happens too
but only in Offtopic.
And it doesn't last long.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 4:42, archived)

I've never really worked out why different bits of the same site operate seperately
but hey ho

welcome to talk anyway, we're generally a good bunch apart from banging on about what we've eaten / are going to eat
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:48, archived)

I just ate a jam tart.
And now I feel a little sick.

Ta mate. :) /feels welcomed.
This is a much nicer welcome then OT - I was groped to kingdom come over there! But I don't remember who by...
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 4:53, archived)

Ah it's only 'cos its late & no ones around
if you'd turned up during the day you would've:

Been accused of being several banned users
Been gazzed by several people asking to see your tits
Ridiculed if you mentioned you had a dying friend / relative
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 5:02, archived)

if people want to see my tits
all they have to do is look at my profile.
Maybe I'll stick around and see what happens. Its day time here in Aus - my night is your day. I have no dying friends or relatives and my writing style is too distinct to be anyone but me!
Should be fun ey chappie?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 5:04, archived)

I'll drink to that

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 5:08, archived)

of course you would.
I'd expect nothing less.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 5:10, archived)

Fluffy is for Furries!

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:28, archived)

no that's fur mate.
fluff is love and hugs and sugary crap.
You know - vomm worthy niceness? Yeah.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 4:32, archived)

I therefore tend to think...
That I would fall into the "I'd rather have hot needles poked in my eye" category that undergo such niceness
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:35, archived)

fluffy what?

(

Lisette von Falcon, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:32, archived)

pants?
*rubs fluffy pants*

sadly they weren't fluffy before I washed them
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:36, archived)

Will you two get a room!

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:36, archived)

I should point out I was talking about my pants

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:38, archived)

OIC
*Removes curious images from mind*
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:38, archived)

stop thinking about him in his fluffy pink pants!

(

Lisette von Falcon, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:40, archived)

EVERYONE loves my fluffy pink pants
you're going to be mentally dressing the strippers in them
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:42, archived)

shh!
I'm off to the strip club.
RIGHT NOW.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:40, archived)

What time do you finish working there?

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 9 May 2009, 4:41, archived)

I'm free now if you've got the money

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 5:02, archived)

What kind of guy do you think I am
Checks wallet
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 9 May 2009, 5:06, archived)

I have money.
how much money you need??
/checks pants for monies.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 5:07, archived)

I am a multi millionaire!
Only in Indonesia however!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 9 May 2009, 5:10, archived)

Heh
my bank over here shows my balance in pesetas, that makes me feel REALLY rich
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 5:12, archived)

I'm glad my money is in AUD
it's not worth nearly as much in the UK. 2.25 AUD to 1GPB.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 5:19, archived)

I just clicked on that b3ta flickr gubbins
with those OMGB4SH pictures.
Are you seriously like saying that you are all like seriously
FAT FUCKING MONGS
literally?
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:26, archived)

For sure?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:26, archived)

INTERNET!
I'm off to bed.

Hugs and kisses to all you spotties, nerdies, fatties, virgins, and of course JMG who is also bald I hear.

Wuv oo xxxxx
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:06, archived)

Incredibly bald.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 3:08, archived)

You've taken in the show then?

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:11, archived)

Needs more roll call

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:10, archived)

mnmph

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:27, archived)

It's genuinely, genuinely encouraged me at the darkest of hours.
"Mouthbreather or not?" is always a great game to play whilst viewing them.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:27, archived)

I'm starting to feel guilty for posting Geordieal's photo on here now.
He didn't reply and it's made me think he's taken a huff.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:29, archived)

INTERNET!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:30, archived)

It's rare I show emotion. I know.
Maybe it's because he has Geordie in his name.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:31, archived)

You crazy north eastern scamps.
With your barcode shirts and your boats and suchlike.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:33, archived)

Where are YOU from, whereabouts does The Baroness hitch up her undercrackers for the public?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

One was originally from South Bucks DAAAAAAAAHLING
Home counties, private schooled, upper middle class, pony riding girl gone bad.

EDIT: HERE

But I live in Norfolk now, which is pretty, but full of people who have never, and will never leave Norfolk.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

It's understandable then that you are always striving for male attention.
As I'm quite sure that most of the males you grew up with were a bit of a Moohalaa.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:37, archived)

I don't know anybody from South Bucks. mind.
Pencil yourself in as my correspondent.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:38, archived)

I never get down there any more. I fear I rather burnt my bridges when I done become a teenage runaway

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:40, archived)

WHORE! etc.
Would did you do, like? Spill your Pimms?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:40, archived)

I dared cross my mother, not something I'd advise
She's a prison officer in a nasty nasty prison now, but she only got that job after I left. She must've realised she had a talent.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:42, archived)

I bet I could charm her.
I'm great with rough old birds.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

She's a real ballbuster JMG
When she discovered my 20 year old brother was looking at porn, ON THE INTERNETS, in the privacy of his own bedroom, she put on her work boots and kicked down his door.

MEASURED RESPONSE!
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:46, archived)

GET IN!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:46, archived)

I'm going to get Kerry Katona to give her a mother of the year award

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:47, archived)

Very much so
We used to have annual discos with the local boys' school, there was so much sexual confusion. Outrageous.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:39, archived)

This is how I see most of the country south of Gateshead.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:41, archived)

It's less and less usual now
School discos are like drunken spotty orgies now apparently.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:42, archived)

Terrible banter, TB.
I'm sure you'll agree with your top off.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:45, archived)

I'm very agreeable with my top off
It's best not to start an argument without clothes on.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:46, archived)

Gollygosh!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:48, archived)

*fans self*
Dearie me, I almost swooned.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:49, archived)

It's a good job I'm sat down.
This is how GMoS must feel every night of the week.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:50, archived)

Unbearably sexy?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:50, archived)

I heard a rumour he's going to climb the Eiffel tower from the outside then have sex with loads of French birds with big tits at the top.
Well played that man.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:52, archived)

The afterwards he'll send them away, and stand on the viewing deck...
Topless, brooding, all tousled hair and erect nipples.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:54, archived)

Little knowing Moohalaa does that very same feat most weekends.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:57, archived)

But that's at the top of blackpool tower and he gets sucked off by a Peter Kaye lookalike

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:59, archived)

OH MYKEY!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 3:03, archived)

How could a man living in Aberdeen sink so low :*(?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:04, archived)

anything south of Cheshire is France

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:45, archived)

LES FRUITS!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:45, archived)

i've never been to a bash

(

Lightguy hail satan, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:28, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:29, archived)

I went to one, I got to pretend to be a ninja with baldmonkey
It was the best moment of my internet life.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:29, archived)

Same here.
I'm also not all that chunky.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:30, archived)

This is lies
Everyone on the internet is a 42 year old fat trucker called Dave.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:31, archived)

That's where I aspire to be in 10 years time.
Considering I'm 22 now, it would be quite a feat.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:34, archived)

Don't dream it, be it.
*is a whole year older than you, ruffles your hair patronisingly*
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:41, archived)

That's not where my hair is!
Pervert...

I'm going to bed now, goodnight.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:48, archived)

PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBES
Night darlin
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:49, archived)

I doubt you'd fit in
space must be limited with so many FAT FUCKING MONGS.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:31, archived)

let's have a competition
whoever finds the ugliest person in the flickr pool wins a flash of my tits
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:31, archived)

Am I just allowed to type b3tans names into the search engine?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:33, archived)

save yourself the bother
they're all so desperately unattractive it's as though they've all fused together into a single seething mass of ugly

with the emphasis on "single"
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

want to come up and see
my etchings?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 9 May 2009, 2:44, archived)

If you paint them with your fingers and your own shit, I think they're referred to as "daubings"

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:02, archived)

hahaha

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:05, archived)

Hmmmm
I'd rather go for a different species than even let my winky be in the same room than any of them.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

The standard of boarders has gone down since the first bash
You made us cunts look like fucking fashion models
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:31, archived)

i don't even look at their flickr links
it's too harrowing
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 9 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

It's like looking at pictures of a car crash full of naked mongs
that's crashed into a butcher's lorry
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:37, archived)

being wanked over by naked bill oddie giving steven hawking a handjob

(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:40, archived)

with raw meat in their mouths drooling over 2 girls one cup

(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

devided by -1
to create an endless fractal of depraved grossness
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:46, archived)

And with that thought I'm off to bed
I may refrain from my before bed wank after that. Though to be honest I think this may just make it all the more furious. Night Riggers.
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:51, archived)

Clickin' dis

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:40, archived)

it's the heri keri
of the internets bowels
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 9 May 2009, 2:40, archived)

LOL
THINGS HAPPENED ON THE INTERNET AND OFF THE INTERNET.

LOL.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:33, archived)

IT'S TRUE!
THERE ARE PICTURES!
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:34, archived)

Don't be a fool.
Things don't happen off the internet; the photos are clearly faked.
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:38, archived)

ROFLOL
LOLROFL
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:37, archived)

Sorry
these fat fucking mongoloid cunts probably can't help themselves, unless it's to another portion. We should encourage them to live a healthier, balanced lifestyle via the medium of the /talk popular page. Simply click on the following reply to help them on their way to being actual people.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:48, archived)

SORT IT OUT YOU FAT MONGOLOID CUNT

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:49, archived)

WORDS ON AN INTERNET!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:50, archived)

CAPSLOCK RESPONSE TEAM
AT YOUR SERVICE.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:54, archived)

REAL TALKERS USE THE SHIFT KEY

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:55, archived)

there are no real talkers

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:00, archived)

It's just us, Dave.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:01, archived)

You and me, Dave
I wish Dave was here too.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:02, archived)

He is, Dave.
We're all waiting for you.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:03, archived)

*waves*

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:03, archived)

Great! Hiya Dave!
Dave's here, he's in the corner with Dave. I think they're figging...don't tell Dave!
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 3:08, archived)

I'm so drunk I can barely read the original post.
I'm guessing MONGS ETC.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:52, archived)

*high fives*
You fucking drunk, you make me sick.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:55, archived)

Touch my private internet parts

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:56, archived)

Fuck yes, my hands are running through your hkeys
I'm messing with regedit but WHO CARES!
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:58, archived)

Queens of the Stone Age. I've never seen them live.
What's your favourite type of seedless jam?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:11, archived)

Damson.

(

Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

You

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:13, archived)

This is why I am sans child.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

RUN THIS TO THE ABERDEEN BUGLE, STAT!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

He'll stick a new thread in
you've just posted.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:18, archived)

I'M SO FAT FOR YOU!
I don't think you're ready for this belly
I don't think you're ready for this belly
I don't think you're ready for this belly
'cos my belly's too blubbalicious for your JMG
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:13, archived)

*High Fives!*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

*High Cholesterols!*

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

Redcurrant jelly.
God I'm exciting. I've been out tonight with real people and alcohol and food and everything.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

OH LT!
Always easy and ready to talk preserves!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

Woo for social life!
Mine's fading away.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:17, archived)

I've got loads of friends, am going to get a good degree from a top 10 uni, a boyfriend, a job, a house, a lovely family and some pretty shoes.
What am I doing on the internet?
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:21, archived)

Limey, don't leave yourself open like that!
I actually had to stop myself from writing something bitchy, and I'm nice.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

*joke about leaving yourself open*
meh, think it up yourself.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:24, archived)

OPEN FOR RAPE THAT IS!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:25, archived)

I can only assume that Sexface is either dead or busy playing his mp3s to almost four people on internet radio

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:27, archived)

He's too busy wanking over webcam to rape me, :*(

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:28, archived)

Oh I know. It's a joke innit.
I'm a fat ugly internet bird like the rest deep down.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:32, archived)

Aaaah, we're all useless attention whores
Otherwise we'd be watching telly. Telly doesn't judge, but then it doesn't have JMG.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

And it no longer has gorgeous Phil from Durham who I have a secret crush on.
Don't tell anyone.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

I won't... it'll be a secret between you, me and the internets

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqUoCD_-gp0
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

ARNO?!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:18, archived)

he looks more like slim than me
maybe that's where he went. He decided to get two bricks and bang his bollocks till he could sing a high c#
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:22, archived)

ahhhh, I see.
Kastraten indeed....
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

do they make cabbage jam?

they fucking well should, I'd well buy that
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:17, archived)

There'll be frantic editing of a JMG snapshot over this.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:18, archived)

I'm the best at Photoshop Elements

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:19, archived)

I knew it was you
www.b3ta.com/talk/6135772
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:18, archived)

The fact that everyone ignored you should clue you in, but...
That's not funny
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:21, archived)

yes it is
I juyst looked at your picture are you a tranny?
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

Yes, my penis is enormous.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:25, archived)

Well I suppose it's better than being a tranny with a tiny cock
it's be like the revealing moment in the crying game but instead of vomiting the guy would piss himself laughing.
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:28, archived)

It's much funnier to be like, "Oh yeah I wanna sit on your face" and then teabag them.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:30, archived)

I got a pic
of the last time a b3tan took his jam to market
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:18, archived)

:(
That poor Mule.
I hope he got down from there and filled in whoever caused that.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:19, archived)

Raspberry

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:19, archived)

GET YOUR TITS OUT, AND THAT!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:21, archived)

As long as I don't have to be nice to you
Or listen to you witter on about your 60 year old ex girlfriend who made you cum three times in one night but then afterwards you couldn't keep an erection so you just had horrible norfolk wrinkly naked cuddles then she left you for some bloke from Kings Lynn.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:24, archived)

Up until you said "Kings Lynn" we were heading for trouble..

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:26, archived)

Thank fuck for that.
I've had enough of Norfolk now.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:27, archived)

marmalade

(

Lightguy hail satan, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:24, archived)

I don't like Marmalade.
A JMG insight!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:28, archived)

tedious

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 9 May 2009, 2:31, archived)

who farted?
that's fucking gross.
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:11, archived)

It's like someone spent a week eating cabage and drinking out of date capri suns
jesus
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

bored of that thread already
what's your favourite thing to sit on?

I'm a big fan of the sofa but I suppose swivel chairs are pretty cool too. I have no time for benches. And those Japanese things you have to kneel on can fuck RIGHT off.

ALT: football
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

HENRY is DOUBTFUL for the game in ROME.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

he's just crying off ill because he's scared of getting stabbed, the fat spastic

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

The poor man's Sylvain Wiltord.
They say.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

be honest now, do you see Barca doing any better than the Arse managed?
it took them an hour and a half to get a realistic chance on goal and by that time Cech's eyes were so full of tears he couldn't see properly

I am quietly confident
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:02, archived)

They'll be better than that on the night.
Messi rarely plays that poorly for three Champions League games in a row.
Saying that.. He didn't exactly set the world alight last season up against Evra either.

I think you should field Manucho.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

I find it difficult to watch actual football these days
this is why I'm looking forward to Monday night.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

I'm already having palpatations.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

We must ensure
that the Tyneside/Yorkshire "derby" doesn't repeat next season.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

MY ARSE

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

Those POANG chairs from IKEA are rather nice.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

look, you don't have to talk about chairs
I only started a thread because the other one was so desperately dull and tedious
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

I bet this ends with a scathing JMG based comment.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

Well, it wasn't going to
but if you insist.

I find JMG's mum's face quite good to sit on.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

In this photo are you breathing out of your mouth, ears, nose or a combination of all three?
yfrog.com/4c2797164596ebf9ea3f1fj
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

There appears to be a young John Peel cracking one out in that picture

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:03, archived)

In the Thames, probably.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

bloke at the back seems to have caught the full blast of a particularly meaty trouser cough

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

This is all going to be MY fault.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:05, archived)

I'd just thought of a story, too.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:06, archived)

Fat people
I bet they're discussing internet. Or lunch.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

I prefer leaning

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

I'm not much for sitting, I'm a laying man
If I can partake in any activity whilst lying down, my productivity increases. The NHS refuse to invest in work hammocks currently which is the shame but it's their loss as I work slower.
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

one of these
www.officereality.co.uk/images/fullsize/seating/24/panther.jpg
(

TBL I posted this on, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

*Head in hands*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

*hands in pants*

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

LORDY!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

just keeping up the stereotype answers
its expected you know.
(

TBL I posted this on, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

Someone's face.
Is that good slagging? I'm out of practice.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

YOU TERRIBLE SLUT!
CHINKIES!

/Aberdeen
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

Cock?
Or something? I think I prefer a sofa.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

Everton are best
Anybody that supports them in the final is NOT A TWAT. Figure out the other side for yourselves.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:03, archived)

Winamp..... it really whips the lawless ass.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

You fucking fat faced spastic
DERRRRRRRRR!!!!!
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:06, archived)

Lucy Lawless?

(

Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:08, archived)

OHH 90NZ0!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

As promised, I have returned from the pub.
Suitably imbibed, and none the wiser. Cycling home was probably a bit of a mistake whilst a tad tipsy, anybody cycled whilst drunk?

Otherwise, what have you eaten or something?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:50, archived)

VIRGIN

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:51, archived)

URCHIN

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

WHO CARES! JMG POST!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:51, archived)

*JMG Anthem*
*Hand on heart*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:51, archived)

Why have things gotten so bad
that you spend so much time replying to yourself?
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

I can't ride a bike.
Karl Hysteria fact.
(

WHARRGARBL, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:52, archived)

Subway and g"££$%yreGINONONOXOXOXXOOZOZOZOZO or whatever he is called this week
Hates it

but oh well
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

Nothing. Lunch at 1 then about 4 chips at around half 7.
I feel this is a mistake.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

You're doing better than me
I've eaten a few slices of chorizo today
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

I've just had chips.
Chips...and mayo. Buff!
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

*boiks*

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

God
Where on the web is a picture of that smug cunt with coffee and croissants?! No googling has helped!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

twat
type in smug bastard
(

TBL I posted this on, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

Thanks
I was googling 'smug cunt'
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

I have cycled pissed before
in fact on numerous occasions coming home from the nightclub I worked in, due to that fact that back then you could not get a taxi after 1am around here.
(

TBL I posted this on, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

Should've just hired a private jet, what kind of promoter are you?

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

no runways around here either
the bastards.
(

TBL I posted this on, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

That's just inhuman

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

I know
what is worse though, the local chippys have no pasties.
(

TBL I posted this on, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

Would anybody like to have a tearful outburst at me before bed?
It's getting to be around that time of the week again.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

You utter swine

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

I have just eaten a subway sandwich
NOTHING CAN DEFEAT ME
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

I'm quite tired
can you tell me a bedtime story please?
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

I would like more blackcurrant cordial
It makes the Strongbow taste nice, instead of appley* shite.

*I know this isn't a word, but I'm Googling FUCK ALL.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

Might I RECOMMEND HIGH JUICE
I use that in my snakebite.

No I will not correct that.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

Cider + Lager + High Juice = WTF

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

I'm feeling too fluey to have a go at you

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

Chin up and all that.
Walk it off.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:38, archived)

Come on JMG
the world needs an approved bedtime story. Hop to it.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

Once upon a time, at a Jobcentre near you...

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:41, archived)

You are not JMG
though I appreciate you giving him a helping hand.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:43, archived)

Down in west newcastle, born and raised.
In the dole queue is where I spent the most of my days.
Sittin' and-a fillin' forms, checkin' the kiosk, lightin' up a rolly outside to look cool.
When a couple of guys, who were up to no good, stole my P45 and my hair.
So I got in one little fight, and my mum got scared,
She said Jammy, you're moving back home.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

I've just been thrown about a bus, because the driver was loony
The rattling sounded like it was going to just fall apart :(

Fucking London.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

cheer up! you won't be able to afford to live there much longer

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

Gotta love a London nightbus.
We were on the 253. It wasn't as bad as the 29 in front of us.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:47, archived)

three rounds of toast with marmalade and a nice cup of fresh coffee ... oh

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

touch early there.
Though I like the way your thinking.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

No I am quite cheerful and full of lolbooze and loldrugs.
lol. Internet.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:45, archived)

Yay

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:48, archived)

POSIE ROSIE!
*Top Tens*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

Woops.
I don't think i'll be sleeping very well tonight.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

Oh, could I, please?
It's gotten to be around that time of the month again.
(

Shiksa, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:50, archived)

ARBITRARY NEW THREAD TIME
Things. Stuff. Booze. Minge. Crabs. JMG. Pasties.

Discuss it all here!

EDIT: I'm drinking cider and listening to Mansun? Who else likes either of the aforementioned?
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:17, archived)

Feck off

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:17, archived)

I LOVE YOU, DIRTY IRISH

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

I'm not dirty :(((

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

One cannot exist without the other

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

This phrase used to be reserved for Spider
Unfortunately he now lives further away from me than you do, making you my Default Favourite Irish.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

:(((
I don't want your pity love. Shag off.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

Eventually you will succomb to my charm, just as he did
Begorrah, etc.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

I like cider
don't get much of it over here :(
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

I hear you can buy it in SHOPS
Keep it to yourself.

*secret handshakes*
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

Not in Spain
I'm waiting for a local bar to get me in some Spanish cider but I don't have high hopes
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

Just ferment some random fruit and see what happens

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:22, archived)

I went to a pub without a single drink I reckongized so ended up drinking Vodka, Lemonaid and Blackberry Cordial all night.
I've decided that I quite like alchole now, as long as it doesn't taste of alchole.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

I had cider & black earlier
I wanted to see what the fuss was about. Turns out it was rather nice. I feel like a puff :(
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:22, archived)

Evening
nice to meet you earlier.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:22, archived)

And you, I had a great time =)
We should deffo meet up again =D
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:26, archived)

I'm not a fan of cider
but I like some Mansun songs, and I once saw them live.

Gonzo has gone to a rock club in Camden tonight. Supermatt is scared he might not know how to get home.

edit - apparently he didn't go for long
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

Download 'Kleptomania'
One of the best albums I own. Full of B-sides that should have been singles in their own right.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

Bear in mind I own* some AWESOME albums
*downloaded
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:24, archived)

It won't be as good as "8 arms to hold you" by Veruca Salt
That's my favourite album. Most of the time.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:25, archived)

I ended up going home instead.
I NO ! I should have stayed.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:24, archived)

I bet they are still rocking madly as we write this.
on the internet.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:26, archived)

\m/ (^-^) \m/
/ac
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

Spot On!

(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

I like both of these things.
I am drunk. HELLO.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:28, archived)

Drunk girl on the internet.
How do we get to see your tits then?
(Bazongaloid, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

I am also drunk
Hello!

I just realised I haven't eaten for at least 9 hours. This may explain my poor alcohol tolerance.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

you know what, I just had an idea for the
best sitcom ever
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 0:53, archived)

Do they get drunk and hold hands, eat chinese and watch hollyoaks together?
Then we see the late nght special...
(

TY&GN, Sat 9 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

Who's the one on the left?

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

it's
↓ him
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 0:56, archived)

How do you do that sexy arrow thing?

(

TY&GN, Sat 9 May 2009, 0:57, archived)

↑ Like that
(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 0:59, archived)

by the simple expedient of being better than you

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:00, archived)

I dispute this
For I have had alcohols. Therefore, you are inferior
(

TY&GN, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:01, archived)

Low-brow enough for ITV, do you think?

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 9 May 2009, 0:56, archived)

Chuck in Ant & Dec as the nosy neighbours
it's got hit all over it
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broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 0:57, archived)

I was thinking JMG and Esme as the couple next door
and Will Smith as Gonzo's unrequited love interest
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:07, archived)

What's the money like?
Can I have JMG's hair allowance, seeing as he doesn't need it.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:08, archived)

Haha

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

wait til you see the photo I'm using for your face

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

You fucking cunt.

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

yeah, you got me there

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

I still love you, though, I suppose.

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:17, archived)

I'm SUCH a terrible tease!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6135272
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broadsword w⚓, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:08, archived)

I would request a cameo
but I'm too scared of Sexface raping me.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

YES!!!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 9 May 2009, 0:58, archived)

SUCCESS!

(

TY&GN, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:01, archived)

Hahahahah

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:01, archived)

I'm watching Tori Amos being fit and musical on YouTube
That is all.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:03, archived)

I'm watching Vertical Limit.
It's so painfully awesome. What the hell is going on with that belay stance in the opening scene? The rope setup doesn't make any sense at all!
(MooCow_Byter, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:04, archived)

You wot?

(

TY&GN, Sat 9 May 2009, 1:05, archived)

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