Good Evening B3tans
JMG here.
Who'd like a wobble?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:43, archived)

Rotating Wobbly Hat must have posted

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:45, archived)

and I very much doubt this is JMG

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

That too.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:47, archived)

haha took you long enough to twig

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:47, archived)

well the username gave it away...

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:49, archived)

planearm?

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:50, archived)

lemon entry my dear watson

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:51, archived)

Bou?

(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 20:23, archived)

jam master forgery

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:48, archived)

it happens
oddly enough I'm not bothered about the football. West Brom already went down so there's no point getting upset about the football today.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 24 May 2009, 19:47, archived)

Will Shearer be staying?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

I doubt it
He has more pressing commitments on match of the day
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

Thank fuck it's a holiday tomorrow
I'm going to achieve an advanced state of refreshment quite soon.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

I'm on my 5th beer now :)

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:48, archived)

How did the football go for you JMG? Good news?
I really don't know.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 19:59, archived)

You old fooooolll

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 20:04, archived)

Something's not right here...

( hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 24 May 2009, 20:04, archived)

IMPOSTER!

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 24 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

yes, I put it in as a reply instead of a new message. Oops. Now fixed.
Original message- "Film and TV quotes."

I am reminded of Adrian Admonson doing an audience warm up prior to filming an episode of Bottom. Quote-

'I'd just like to say....."fucking cunty bollocks".'

beats any Schwartzenegger one-liners by a mile.

best quote from TV/Film?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 24 May 2009, 19:42, archived)

you can't handle the truth!

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:49, archived)

but at least I can handle myself
fnarr.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 24 May 2009, 19:50, archived)

It has to be in context
But I'd go for Leon Kowalski in Blade Runner. "My mother? Let me tell you about my mother."
( Lord Gnome, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:51, archived)

but did he
then proceed to tell them about his mother? it would totally change the character of the film.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 24 May 2009, 19:54, archived)

I guess it probably would have.
I think shooting the interviewer in the gut was probably a good move.
( Lord Gnome, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:57, archived)

Anything from Ghostbusters and Dumb&Dumber

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

Anything from Flash Gordon
"Freeze, you bloody bastards!"

(said by Prince Barin after he blasts his way in the control for the lightning shield)

Oh, and little beats, "Despatch War Rocket Ajax to bring back his body!"
( custard, Sun 24 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

Has anyone mentioned football yet?
JMG consoles himself with a cam session.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

Was he the fat Geordie crying?
Haha, people crying over football
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

Oh, and the link doesn't work

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

Fail

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

No, but I've mentioned
Philip Glass
( The Neville What what what, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

TTTHHEEEEEE NEEEEVVVIIIILLLLLLEEEEEEE

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

BLEEEEEEE!
Hello there
( The Neville What what what, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:18, archived)

You should quit everything that you do
and carry on drawing and making us all laugh
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:20, archived)

Your website hasn't been updated in like 2 years :(

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:28, archived)

That's one of my testicles.
I wondered where it had gone.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

Hmmmm
football.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

Poor JMG
expect tears before bedtime.
( WormuIus, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:18, archived)

Oh well
At least they'll get to play Leicester next season.

That must be something to look forward to.

/Insanely jealous Leeds Utd fan blog.
( Lord Gnome, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:36, archived)

I'm so glad this season is over.
We can finally put our lowest ever finish behind us and move forward ;)

Meaning no offence to Leeds but that was really their last chance to get a quick getaway from League One.
Where is the money going to come from?
( WormuIus, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:43, archived)

The club is still well supported
And it's not losing money- at least not to the best of my knowledge. If Man City managed to come back, I'm pretty sure Leeds will do too. Much as I dislike Ken Bates, he does seem to have turned things around.
( Lord Gnome, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:48, archived)

The Neville Presents: "Choose your own fucking football-adventure-bollocks"
You are sitting in a chair watching grown men kick a ball about on your telly screen. In your hand is a can of Carlsberg "lager", and you
are incensed at the referee because he is a cunt. Two of your friends are on the sofa. They are also clutching cans of "lager" and calling
various people "wanker" and "twat". The room is thick with testosterone and you fancy a pie. Do you

a) Continue calling the ref a cunt for the next 89 minutes
b) Go and get a pie and shove it in your pieface
c) Realise that life is short and go outside to lie on the grass screaming at the blackbirds
d) Pour more Carlsberg "lager" down your mouth throat
e) All of the above
( The Neville What what what, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:18, archived)

f) Listen to Jonathan from Spotify
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:24, archived)

Where the hell have you been?

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:24, archived)

Has anyone mentioned the football yet?
Incidentally I have fish and chips, the best of British food.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

These chairs are cool:
1designperday.wordpress.com/2009/03/26/human-chair/
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

THREADJACK
Who knows an easy way to convert .swf files to .wmv files?
(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

I can help.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

an alarm clock and some toast

(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

Take a video of it on your mobile phone, upload that to Windows, import into some video program blahb alhb aldjdj
This may or may not be serious
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

Allow me.
downloadstuff.org/swfconvert
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

Oh noes! FOOTBALL!
Where's JMG?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:15, archived)

Driving to sunderland to start a riot.
Or at least that's what I'd do.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

Personally, I'm now looking forward to Cardiff vs. Newcastle next season.
JMG in Cardiff eh?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

I hope he's out enjoying the sunshine and watching the footy

( SuperMatt, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

watching the footy drowning his sorrows
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

You're the first person on here today to mention football
anything good on the telly tonight?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

Nope, I don't care to check.
It's boozin' time.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

This is true.
I'm going to sink quite a few tonight I think!

I also don't own a telly with an ariel.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

unfortunately all my beer has been in the conservatory all day
so it's almost hot to touch :(

*sticks some in the freezer*
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

Whack it in the freezer stat!

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

goes without saying
but it means I have to wait :(
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

Let me solutionise that problem for you.
GOTO: Pub!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

Yep, walk to the pub.
While your beer cools down in the freezer have a couple of pints.

Win!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:24, archived)

In the bath for 15 mins...
...moving cold water over them (swirling 'n stuff). Surprisingly effective.
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:21, archived)

First final of Britain's Got Talent

( magnum, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

oh christ
that's enough to make anyone go out!
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

He's hiding
as his team's just been given a hiding.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

They Duffed that one up.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:54, archived)

1-0 away to Villa
is hardly a hiding.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

nobody can moan you have the gmaes to play enought and be good enough to stay up
which is why i hope sheffield unt lose
( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:55, archived)

LOL- Charlton fan.
Be seeing you next season at Elland Road.
( Lord Gnome, Sun 24 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

Stupidity, are you guilty?
I'm a recently single chap, and have been having lots of fun persuing the ladies of the city I live in. However, last night I got very drunk and kissed my best female friend who happens to have a boyfriend. What have you done that was particularly stupid recently?

If you haven't been stupid, what you having for tea? I'm barbecuing a chicken.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

I might order a curry.
Is this stupid on a day like this?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

Depends...
Will it be a hot curry?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

No,
it will be a chicken tikka massala.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

That is probably ok.
Hot curry on a sunny day like today would cause a very red face.

The red face would also probably repeat itself in the morning in a horrible case of ring sting.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:02, archived)

Yes, you should have a bbq
*wants a garden*
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

The supermarkets are shut,
so getting enough food at a reasonable price at this time of day is impossible.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

Oh, I forgot you had stupid shops

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:05, archived)

Stupid competition laws, not stupid shops.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

Either way it is stupid

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

4pm on a Sunday.
Everything is shut.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

Not everything.
YOUR MUM's legs are wide open.

LOL, etc.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

Yeh, Yeh, Yeh.
YM

etc....
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

You see, what I did there was hilariously imply that your mother has loose morals.
ROFL.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

I ROFL'D so hard my face caved in.
Mainly cos it is true.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:14, archived)

Which is why I said it was stupid

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

It is pretty stupid.
We do have the odd 24hr supermarket but they are pretty few and far between.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:11, archived)

Why is it stupid?
The shops are open straight from 7am monday to 9pm saturday.

Not every shop is a supermarket, lots are open on sundays.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:14, archived)

There isn't any point to it
Plus, I quite like 24 hour shops. I'm not getting into an argument with you about it though.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

It's not an argument, you're entitled to your opinion.
But you're thinking too much about the convenience of having 24/7 supermarkets. The reason it was introduced is so that there's a period of time where the only shops that are open are the smaller ones. This is so they don't go bust.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

Curry shouldn't be eaten on a hot day.
That's why curry was created by innuits and indians never eat it.
( CowJam, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

Everything I do is stupid
And I don't think I'm having dinner.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

Agreed, not having dinner is pretty stupid.
It is the best meal of the day!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

Yes, I'll be off for several pints of dinner after work.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

I have a cold lager next to me.
It is tasting better than normal as it is a sunny day.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

I'm on my fourth course right now

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

I have never done anything stupid.
Except that Cheeky Girl, she was fairly dim.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:02, archived)

Lembit Opik MP?

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:02, archived)

He isn't a Cheeky Girl.
But we are related in the custard sense.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

I got relegated to the championship
/alan shearer blog
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

Blimey, the football eh?
/JMG blog
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

I have never done anything stupid.
And anything stupid I may have done, I have told the internet about so it didn't happen.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

That didn't work for Derek Draper though, did it?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

I like this Idea.
I have told the internet, I am cleansed of my sin.

This is what a Catholic must feel like after confession.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

I'm a recently single young lady and I've been having no fun by hiding in my room and being rubbish
but today i've finally applied for a few summer jobs that i really want to do. so that's a good thing.
/baby steps
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:11, archived)

Good stuff!
Hope the job hunt goes well. I'm looking for a job for when I finish uni and there is very little about.

I also think hiding in my room and being rubbish would have been a better strategy. I wouldn't be in this fix for a start!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

There will be shit loads here.
20% of the town's population is students, so all the 3rd years with jobs will naff off.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

Sweet, I will need a job next year too.
I'm not fussy what I do!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

You'll enjoy the females here too then.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

Haha!
I hear there are sporty women of loose morals in those parts.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:24, archived)

I drank lots of beer last night and was groped by an elderly woman.
I totally don't regret this. :D
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

How elderly?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

Old enough to be my Mum's Mum elderly.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:14, archived)

Think of it as a service to the community.

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:15, archived)

as a service to the community next time you have a wank
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

So.
Who's going to look after JMG?

/lol
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

The welfare state and his mum.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

There was a fat lad crying on the telly.
He had hair though so I don't think it was JMG
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

Newcastle V Scunthorpe is the fixture we're all excited about.

( Druid, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:01, archived)

nooooo
michael owen playing at blackpool lol
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

Suppose I can give him a consoling handshake next season when Newcastle come down to Plymouth!!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 24 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

If he knows you'll be there he won't attend in case the match becomes a b4sh.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

I wont let him know in advance.
I'll just spring on any bald Geordie holding a giro cheque.

''1756: Alan Shearer looks like a broken man.''
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

yep
We'll see him at the Ricoh
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 18:01, archived)

Did you see the fat bloke crying into his prison shirt
as predicted? It wasn't JMG though, he had some hair.
( Druid, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

LOL
Why?
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

Football.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 18:01, archived)

Dear internet.
Today I put the TV in the garden and we watched the grand prix whilst having some alcoholic drinks.

How are you enjoying the sun?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

No doubt the internet will come up with some way to criticize you for this

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

I'm still in the garden doing a report.
good times.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

I imagine you with a string vest on and your feet in a childs paddling pool.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

no paddling pool this time,
or a vest. I'm topless... online.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

I hope you're wearing sun cream.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

Are you being Mother today?

( jenpots, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

Can be.
I unfortunately have none, so I will be wearing long sleeves outside.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

I was.
My housemate didn't. He is now very very two tone.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

hahaha
silly tit.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

They were taking the piss out of me for covering up and using sun tan lotion.
I win.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Well, they'll get skin cancer.
Good for you.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

Make sure you get reason to touch the exposed red bits over the next few days.
Bump into them and the like.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

Scratch it. That's the worst. Or slapping.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

You need to be subtle.
Oops sorry, it was an accident.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

Nah.
At silverstone last year I got completely ruined (I was inside the tent, but it was a shit tent and I got sun burn inside it) and the one who was burned today didn't bully me much.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

But having laughed at you for taking precautions, you should remind them.
Last year doesn't count, as you should be protected in a tent.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

I'm not.
I'm working in a room with no windows, you terrible cunt.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

it's probably raining in Ireland
because god hates your country.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

No, it's a lovely day.
But yes, God does hate us. That's why he invented the saxons.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

and blight

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I presume by "blight" you mean a devastating parasitic life form that destroyed our country?
The scientific term for this is "the Brits."
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

you'd still be playing fiddles and singing in delapidated buildings, getting drunk any way you can every night if it wasn't for us.

oh
(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Why would we wait for night fall to get pissed?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

You're too busy paving drives during daylight.

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

Sure who'd bother with paving when there's tarmac available?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Oh the puny squeals of the subjugated

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Are you calling me a welsh?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Don't get your hopes up

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

*steals your side of beef*

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

*gives you some extra letters for your language*
Oh, hang on. You speak English now.

*takes them back*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Ná bí dána.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

Well copied.
Oh man, I'm shit at subjugation.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

And that's why you've no empire left.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I didn't want one anyway
Also, my lot are from over your way. Perhaps I'm a raiding party.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

PANTY RAID

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

*knickers on head*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Oh man, we forgot the doll.
*rocket in the bedroom*
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:36, archived)

Impressive criticism
Considering the greatest achievement of any Irish man or woman is to get as far from their country as they can, as soon as they can.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Says the emigrant to the man still living in his own country..

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Oh internet.
Do you hate the sun that much?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Given the choice I'd rather be out in the sunshine handing people leaflets and generally bothering them.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

by staying indoors

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

I can see it through the window
It seems to be doing well enough without my attention
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

By drinking Pimms whilst my dad sets up the barbecue.
*lounges*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Are you in filthy Manc?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I bloody am.
*filths it RIGHT up*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

Yes! *fiflths*

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

Have a bath as soon as you can and mind your vowels

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Iz you saying we not know ow to talk blad?

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

I think so
But I only really understand English.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

i ought ta fackin do you.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Haha, actually, that one sounded more like Rosalicious.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

That's what I thought too, the slag.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

My vowels are perfectly fine and normal thank you, now shush it up Yorkshite.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'll start the singalong
Oh weeeeeeeeeeeeer 'as ta bin sin ah saw theeeeeeeee

Come on everybody!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I'm going to go outside
and punch the sun in the mouth.
(MooCow_Byter, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I did exactly that.
With added hamock.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

You win :(

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

You should invest in one, they are great.
The look of envy from people walking past my garden was worth the hamock price alone.

Almost fell out of it with laughter when Nakajima crashed on the final lap.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

My housemate would have been up £25 if Nakajima finished in the points.
He was going to buy us all ice creams :(
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

Oh man.
I need a couple of posts in the garden to achieve this wonderousness.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

You are taking your finals a lot less seriously than I am.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

I really, really aren't.
I spent 5 hours this morning working on them, am doing coursework right now and have planned another 3 hours tonight.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

besides, it's still 8 days until my first exam and I'm set up pretty well for it.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Oh you've got ages.
I finish on the 2nd. Have done 4, got 4 to go.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

I planted some tomato plants
and had a nice cool glass of OJ. I also took advantage of the privacy my tall garden hedge provides by taking my shirt off.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

i've done my list of jobs
and now i want to go play in the sun, but everyone else is still doing revision and stuff. *sigh*
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

get better friends.
Or friends who will revise whilst playing in the garden, like us cool kids here.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

*sigh*

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

I went to a market and bought some bumper polish and tyre shine
Then headed into Norwich to see if I could find a nice suit for my sister's wedding, which I didn't manage. I then also took the opportunity to attempt to find the best place to park when going to Norwich Theatre, and also failed at that. Basically, I drove 100 miles and came back with £7 worth of car cleaning gear.
( magnum, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

I went for a riverside walk this morning
then put a tent up in the back garden.
I'm now drinking diet coke and watching Villa v Newcastle on Sky Sports
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

I'm indoors as my son decided to have a hissy fit.
I'm going to try forcing him outside.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

Use fire.
Kids hate it.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

Really, you've not met normal kids then.
Mine love it, they discovered lighters and paper the other day.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

Oh, they love it when it's them burning wee bits of paper.
When you're charging at them with a sod of turf dipped in petrol, set alight and stuck on a pitchfork and screaming "FUCK OFF OR I'LL BURN YE" they'll scarper pretty sharpish.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

hahahaha
I have no petrol sadly.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

As long as you've got a pitchfork you should be able to work something out.
And if you've no pitchfork then your children should be taken into care.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

I have a rake with nails in it.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

I suppose we'll let this pass, what with the recession and so forth.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

( Sygiinu, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

Crikey.
This chap's artwork has been popping up wherever the tinfoil hats congregate on the internet.

www.rense.com/1.mpicons/dees1.htm

It's time to ban photoshop forever.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

I AGREE!
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

Nicely done.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

ban the internet

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

He was on /board for a while, but I think he got banned.
username was Catnippp.
(Ballunatic, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

I think his work is too subtle for my tastes.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

GOV'MNT CAME AND TOOK MY BABY!

(Ballunatic, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

+AND FED IT TO THE JOOS

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

DEM JOOS MAN.
DEM GODDAMN JOOS.
(Ballunatic, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

EVEN WHEN IT WAS THE LIZARDS I KNEW IT WAS THE JOOS

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

David Icke will have your head for this.

(Ballunatic, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

ha gi

r

PHWOAR!
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

He looks like a ripened Bon Jovi.
So yes, definitely.
(Ballunatic, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

Needs more
Gee Vaucher and perspective or something
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

Oooh, I like these.
For a given value of "like."
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

Needs more
Zombie Queen
( The Neville What what what, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

There's never enough zombie queen.
I wonder if I can trick the Real IRA into posting some of this on their websites...
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

Triple layer chocolate cake, sandwiched together with fresh cream, raspberries and chocolate ganache.
But I forgot to buy candles.

Will he have a tanty about the lack of candles or be appreciative that I've made him a birthday cake? Vote now.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

I think you should slip some sedatives in the bastard's drink, tie him up, put him in the boot of a car and let him wake up on top of a mountain with no shoes and no phone.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I heard BBC3 got Brian from Big Brother on next week's celebrity special of slip some sedatives in the bastard's drink, tie him up, put him in the boot of a car and let him wake up on top f a mountain with no shoes and no phone.

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

I heard some doves crying.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

They just suddenly appear when you're near and weep

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

I'm St Francis's evil twin.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Candles are merely an annoying obstruction on the path to CAKE.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I nearly killed my mum last time I tried cake/fire interface.
Maybe it's for the best.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

I don't trust people with alliterative names

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I like his band from the sixties;
Dave Dees, Dozy, Beaky, Milo and Stitch.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

I like his references to the ficticious disease Morgellon's Syndrome.

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I managed about half.
Some are quite funny but I'm guessing that's not what was intended.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

I'm bored.
What play-thing can you offer me today?
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Sheffield.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Your daughter being whipped whilst wearing spandex
clicky

(edit: this film is in my top ten; apart from Dale & Flash being played by bad/non-actors [they were models], it's perfect)
( custard, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

+while I play inappropriate music

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

Also, youtube comments never fail to be creepy

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

I like the one who wondered why one of the ornamental hands on the torture table
hadn't moved to her arse
( custard, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

Ah, the memories.
Bliss.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

I'd offer you some Jelly Tots
but I've eaten them all. OM NOM NOM.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

Hello Small
I'm getting a bit giddy for this evening
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

YAY.
It'll be great. I hope you enjoy yourself LOL. I've heard you missus isn't going. Is she mental?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

She is full of cold
But I've guilted her right up and she's going now
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Food thread.
Mrs HB just came out to my office to show me the lovely joint of meat we are having for dinner today.
Are you having anything similar?
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

I'm having YOUR MUM, SHE'S A DOG LOL

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

I may be getting a new mum.
My dad who is nearly 90, has just got himself a girlfriend. They are like a couple of fucking teenagers. It makes you sick.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

You'll have to sit him down, explain the facts of life to him calmly, and then insist that they can't sleep together under your roof until they're married.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

:o3

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

We're having a kilo of pork and a guinnea fowl.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

It'll either be Julian, Derek, Phillip, Sebastian or Tristram

( moohalaa, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

That's an amusing reference to your sexuality there, moohala.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Thigh slappingly hilarious, I know.

( moohalaa, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Blimey blimey blimey blimey..
How are you keeping calm?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

I just ate some WEETABIX

(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

NOW ISN'T THE TIME FOR FOOD, BIG F.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

A HANDBAG?!

(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

NEAR THE TOP
www.b3ta.com/board/9467736
(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

What what what what what what what what what WHAT?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

You seem EXCITED

(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

No.
I'm demanding clarification.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

YOU CAN'T STO-CHICKEN AND MUSHROOM SLICE-P IT NOW
OH GOD, IT'S ALR-COKE AND A YORKIE-EADY STARTED
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

I'm not going to be drawn into this half a packet of Tuc crackers
and some quorn savoury eggs and stop looking at me STOP LOOKING AT ME
( moohalaa, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

I am sitting at my desk
Revising Commercial Dispute Resolution, listening to Grateful Dead on Spotify and my gf is making me wraps.
I SHOULD be calm..but I'm not :S
( Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

I'm still enjoying yesterday's EPIC AND HISTORICAL VICTORY.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

?

( Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

Leinster, Heineken Cup, Rugby, etc.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

Oooh
I do like Heineken. And Rugby.
A combination of the both in this glorious weather would be just what I need right now, instead of these sodding exams.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

I'm watching Morecambe and Wise
and about to make a tuppa tea. IT'S ALL GO HERE JMG.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

In about half an hour, I shall be passing through Ernie Wise's home town.
True story.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

I'm off my tits on lavender aromatherapy.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

YOU TERRIBLE SHOE SALESMAN!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

I shall be watching United vs Hull later
Which would you like me to cheer on, JMG?
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

Man Utd, there.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

HI JMG
I'm absolutely fantastic today.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

I'm on the edge of my throne.
The football, see?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

yey! (:

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

opium

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Letting Esme be angry for me.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

She does anger so well.
What's she mad about?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

Today? WHO KNOWS.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

WID JER FECKIN FECK ALL OVER THE FECKIN
JAAAAAAAMES! WHERE'S THE FECKIN FECK!1
( moohalaa, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

Help me mooey, HELP ME!

(Cap'n Ahab, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

ahaha

( moohalaa, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

Oh come on, you never existed in the first place.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

:(

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

MAN UP, YOU ENORMOUS HOM.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

Pear cider, you massive girl.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

OH IRELAND!
Always angry.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

West Ham, Arsenal, Man Utd, Chelsa, Liverpool
If they all come in, I should be one hundred quid up.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

What will JMG do after the football season is over?

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

Hibernate in the Cave of Topsoff

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

I'm now probably moving to Peckham rather than central London.
Is is going to be horrible?
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

I've never been to Peckham, but I imagine it's utterly shit.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

but and so
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Peckham's alright.
Not on the tube though, so you'll have to put up with trains.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

yes, very, it is now a cross roads between haves and have nots, it used to just be have nots

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

It's not great
more importantly though it's difficult to get out of peckham as transport is shit. You need to catch 2 buses just to get onto the underground
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

more importantly though
If I got myself a mail order russian bride and teabagged her while she was asleep would you bake me a home made swiss roll?
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

I have NO IDEA.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

I just blame it all on JMG
even the LOLSICKRIKSEX
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

This is ALL my evil doing.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Moisturiser, JMG.
Dad and my brother have gone up to watch the game.
( moohalaa, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAaa..............
Oh wait, it's you.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

YOU CREAM PUFF!
Why aren't you going to watch the game, flip tables and eye up the birds, and such?
HO'WAY MAN!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

I'm putting up some LOVELY curtains.
Plus I want some more flowering plants for my microgarden outside.
( moohalaa, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

I bet you wear a frilly apron to do the washing up.
And other such women's work.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

I spent over an hour in a shop yesterday in town choosing cutlery. Just cutlery.
Christ.
( moohalaa, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

Bloody hell Moo.
It's only going to be used to shovel fried chicken into your gob. Does it have pink handles?
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

I had a Personal Shopping Advisor to help me choose how it would go with my kitchen.
It's that bad.

I should go out and start a fight or something to counteract this
( moohalaa, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

Just slap your thigh in a manly sort of way,
belch loudly then in a really deep voice say "NORKS!"
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

I'm not

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

I've taken the sensible approach of only joining mates in town should GOOD NEWS arrive.
*Firm handshakes*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

This is my tactic as well
We shall overcome, JMG.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

sun lotion and smoked salmon and salad and smoothies

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

The cricket's on JMG.
England are doing really well. Is there some other sporting thing happening today then?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

I'm watching the F1

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

I hear that Jenson Button chap is quite the racer.
I do hope he wins.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

I've got my Laursen shirt on
and booze tokens in my pocket. It's the FOOTBALL! I'm going to watch the football with other single chinned footballing types and discuss which WAG we'd have least chance with.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

HOORAY!
www.breakingnews.ie/entertainment/aykroyd-ghostbusters-is-go-412071.html

Everything's coming up good this weekend.
That's cheering YOU up?
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

I think Seth Rogan would be a good choice
not sure who else though..
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

I've yet to make up my mind about that fellow.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

He has his moments

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

Hmmm.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

no it's not

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

It is for me.
But then, I am much better than you.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

This was a good news story up to this line:
"hopes the new film will herald in a new generation of all-girl Ghostbusters"

FUCK OFF GHOSTBUSTERS =/= CHARLIE'S ANGELS
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Could be awful, yes.
But ever since I saw a stunning girl dressed in a ghostbusters uniform in an 80s bar I have had a somewhat bizarre fetish*. So would look forward to it.

*At least it's not slimer* related.

*although my own ectoplasm is involved somewhere along the line
(ste_mc_efc, Sun 24 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

So my mate has offered to take me on a roadtrip anywhere 1.5 hrs from London
Where would you go?
(WildType is remixing your mum, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Rome.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

in some sort of jet-awesome-car

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

Honda accord?

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

I'll be sainted.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

UNDERGROUND
BORE A HOLE DOWNWARDS.

SEE HOW FAR YOU GET IN 90 MINUTES
(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Good shout
We could sellotape the black n decker to the front of the car
(WildType is remixing your mum, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

The seaside

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

You know that girl that sold seashells on the sea shore?
She was an idiot. Seashells can be obtained for free on the sea shore.
I think that this kind of commercial incompetence being championed in tongue twisters is what's causing the recession.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

i'm not sure you are suppose to just take sea shells, think of the hermit crabs
you utter shit cunt
( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

Fuck hermit crabs.
If they want somewhere to live they can grow their own shells, like decent, hardworking lobsters.
Why should the taxpaying crustaceans be expected to support these scum?
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

whoa, it is the hermit crabs right to no fixed abode, just roaming the sea shore selling lucky seaweed

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Petrochirus diogenes..

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

seashells expense claims
idiot expense claimer
incompetence expense claims
recession expense claims
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

CONTROVERSIAL!

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

CONTROVERSIAL EXPENSE CLAIM
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

I
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

*applause*

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

the seasides near london are not very nice really
planet thanet :((((, or essex :(((((, or sussex stones :(((((
( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

It's still seaside.
I'm in the landlocked midlands.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

even if you went to Skegness,
there's about 5 miles of beach before you get to the sea.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

come and see me and i'll take you for a walk around margate, it's like the 3rd world

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

*Sigh*

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

You are correct
I think southampton is probably the closest beach that's any good
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

camber sands is ok, but there is fuck all there, just the beach and dunes

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Whereas proper beaches have castles made of ice, and rivers of treacle.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

the abillity to consume seafood and beer is a must for me

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

There's some nice ones on the Suffolk/Norfolk coast, but I'd guess they're about 3-4 hours from London.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

you are correct, see also dorset, but we are failing in the time alloted, also an idea of the starting point in london would help
it would take me an hour to get from se london to north london alone, this thread is turning into a farce, i'm dealing myself out
( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

That'll do nicely!
Right, we're off t'Norfolk. Cheers!
(WildType is remixing your mum, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

It would take me longer than that to get there.
Ask a proper question.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

I'd stay in London.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Bah
Too much grey.
(WildType is remixing your mum, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

I'll give a ferret a chinese burn
for a victoria sponge
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

I say no to animal cruelty.
Wife beating is fine though. Encouraged perhaps.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

So I've got to get a wife and give her a shoeing
before you'll make me a cake? If I had a wife I could probably beat her until she made me a cake

What about if I got myself a mail order bride from tailand and just farted in her face? would you make me a cake then?
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

canterbury

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

The North Sea.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

Tracy Island

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

isle of sheppy?

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

It's slightly less inbred

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Birdseye potato waffles are waffley versatile

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

i put a pea in each of the holes, then throw them in the bin

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

CUCKOO

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

argh, that's in my head now
argh
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

You started it, Frank.
How're you?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

I'm feeling fat and sassy
looking forward to an afternoon of slobbing out watching the Formula 1 and doing less than sod-all

how's your bum for spots today?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

Cor!
I'm waiting for Druid to come round so me, him and FF can go to the pub and watch Newcastle get relegated.

And no spots on my bum today, just the scar. As usual.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

Brough and Hull are going down, Newcastle will cling on to the premiership like a curry stain clings to porcelain

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

France

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

London IS France

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

I blame Europe.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Cambridge.
The mountain walks are particularly nice this time of year.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

When you are in your car on the motorway pretending you are some sort of super-driver driving really well and fast to save the earth in some sort of jet-awesome-car,
what music do you like to listen to to complete the illusion?

Or, if you don't drive; ha ha.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Haha

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

This thread seems like an interesting idea.
But before you know what's happening it'll contain LIES about EGGS.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

Not Coldplay, that's for sure.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I sure do like eggs

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

EGGS ARE GREAT.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Especially EGGS from MCDONALDS.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

McDonneggs.

(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

The pretend radio stations from GTA: Vice City.
I have to remember not to ram police cars though.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

"All The Strange Strange Creatures" by Murray Gold always plays in my head when I'm in a rush

(__, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Johnny Cash
God's Gonna Cut You Down
( custard, Sun 24 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

How many people can you find?
b3ta.belm.co.uk/ivinghoe_pano_massive_comp.jpg
29 image composition. Very compressed so only 5MB, bargains.

What will you do with today's clear skies? I'm off out for a long dog walk somewhere near where that photo was taken. Sunburntastic.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

I'm working today, in a room with no windows.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

G'Day mate!
How's the old sod?
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

It's sunny, and there's an election coming, and we just won the Heineken Cup and things are generally great.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

We?
Would that be Munster or that bunch of pansies who play in donnybrook?
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

The pansies knocked Munster out in the semis.
Which I saw live in Croker with my Munster supporting girlfriend.
Afterwards she was so pissed off we'd walked to Grogan's before she said a word.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

Oh how I do not miss doing that.
As interesting as working on radar systems is, being shut away in a big metal box four hours on end is no way to be.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

This is worse. It's a bookshop, so I'll have cunts coming in all day long reminding me that it's sunny outside.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

I recommend not working weekends. Or, better still, not working at all.
lulz
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

I am normally unemployed.
But sometimes a man jhust has to knuckle down and be alienated from his labour.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

That's true. I've even resorted to making websites for money in my boredom.
A terrible state of affairs.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

I've done more today already than you have.
Malvern east is gorgeous in the morning.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

How's tricks, fella?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Not too bad.
Had a nice month off, lovely weather and tempretures and starting a job on thursday.

Life is grand.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

You have no idea what I have done, you heightwrong.
I have been up since 8am. EIGHT IN THE MORNING.

Oh yes. A pint of Monster saw to that.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

I've been awake since half 2 A.M. your time.
I didn't even need stimulants for it either.

Trivia: Monster is called Mother this side of the world.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

Mother? Why? pfft.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

Because only the women drink it.
ZING!

Also, I have to run, booze to buy and ting.
Till next time all!


*Goes*
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

BYE BYE OZSPUDWOG

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

I'm going to the park. To do some work.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Photo work?
Woo to working outside.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

oh no not that kind of work
writing mostly
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

Goodo.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

Head down to Leeds for a knees up with my miraculously recovered woman and a couple of pals
Hurrah for the Speshuls
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

I'm going to be in Leeds today.
We might see each other. How AWESOME would that be.
( WHARRGARBL, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

That would be fucking mental maaaaaaaan!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

i've been out since friday so i'm relaxing for an hour before i go out and get cunted

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

I'm incredibly offended by this post.
There was no disclaimer. :-(
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

I'm revising.
And my flatmate has demanded a chocolate birthday cake when I'd bought all the stuff to make a carrot cake so I'll have to go to the shops again at some point.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

I hope you buy them a big bag of Fuck Off You Ungrateful Cunt

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

No it's my fauly really. I didn't ask him what kind of cake he wanted and assumed that it's be carrot cos that's my favourite cake.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

Sigh...I dunno
I'd be happy if someone made me any cake at all.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

Make her a carrot cake, and then if she complains smash it on the floor and make her it it like a dog.
Look up some Eastenders scenes of Little Mo being domestic abused to see how it's done.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

It's for my boy flatmate. He's about twice the size of me and hits his girlfriend.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

Wouldn't that be a good reason not to make him a cake at all?
Or to check Eastenders clips on youtube for the scene where Little Mo murdered her domestic abusive husband?
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

Do you often make cakes for spousal abusers?

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

Yeah quite regularly.
Want one?
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

I don't have a spous at the moment
Would you make me one if I went out and kicked a duck though? I'll perform an act of animal cruelty for a white frosted marble cake
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

I'd punch an otter
for a carrot cake
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

I'll shave a puppy
for some banana cake
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

What's the fun in making them what they want?
Make something else now just so spite them
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

A 2 Girls 1 Cup tribute cake, made from real shit.
With a Shit-Omlette centre.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Hurrah or something

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

Way to be born, hero

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

i don't belive you

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

SO HOW COME FACEBOOK DIDN'T TELL ME THIS YOU FUCKING LIAR?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

I DONT KNOW???

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I'M GETTING CONFLICTING INFORMATION FROM THE INTERNET!

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Happy Birthday!
Birthdays are best in May. FACT.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

I know, we are the best

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

I can't quite believe the size of the lump of earwax I just dug out of my ear
seriously, I might have it stuffed and mounted
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

What would you stuff it with?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

MORE EARWAX

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

You need to chew more!
Chewing encourages increased lubrication of the ear thingies.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

I can't reach my ears with my teeth.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Favourite band name formula?
I used to be a fan of the Random Word Generator method ... new fast automatic daffodils, ned's atomic dustbin. I'm now teetering towards [somebody] and the [something]. Tilly and the Wall. Florence and the Machine. Stuffy/The Fuses. Your Mum and a bunch of arab sailors.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

I did have a bunch I'd thought up.
I lost them though.

I like your idea.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

none, it all seems a pointless waste of time really

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

I'm going to call my next band "Internet Banter."
And their first LP "Or not. No offence. Great."
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

the world is just a big great forum, great times

( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

There used to be a band called the Beatles.
Just look how a simple spelling mistake can propel a band into megastardom.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

See also: Slade

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

We used to promouce them as Slarday
like Sade (Sharday)
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

Presumably you do realise it's on purpose,
being as it is, a play on the word "beat".
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

Is it? I had no idea.
_{Sorry, that was a bit sarky.}
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

One can never tell,
on the internet.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

This is true.
Did you know that the Internet got it's name from the bloke who invented it, George Internetz, who was travelling in an Intercity Express to Southend to buy a fishing net. It was all too much of a coincidence and it stuck.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

everybody knows that, duh

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

Well yeah!

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

But guitar bands are on the way out.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

They said that back in the 80's when the synth bands got popular.
It will pass.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

*head in hands*

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

they've been on their way out since the wandering minstrels of the 15th century,
and yet, no matter how much they appear to recede, they're still there, like some sort of twangy yeast infection.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

a simple, single noun can be very snappy.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

cunt

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

well, quite.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

more bands should incorperate your mum

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

They should be named after the village in which they perform at the weekly dance.
Like the Tulla Céilí Band, The Kilfenora Céilí Band, or Anal Cunt.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

The [name of third largest item in second drawer down]s.
The Hankies.
The Rolling Pins.
The Broken Controllers.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

the holey toe-sock

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

Also...hee hee hee...
angrymob.uponnothing.co.uk/daily-mail-dictionary
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

The second drawer down is the second-most-common charging drawer.
And AC/DC has already been taken.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

How about SMPS?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

is Hankster dead?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

i think he out grew us
:((((
( mongychops, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

There are pictures of him and A Girl recently put on his flickr.
I think he is doing things Offline.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

The <name that sounded like a great idea in the pub at the time>

( FoldsFive, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

I quite like the weird ones
Mull Historical Society, I am Kloot, and so forth.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

I saw the lovely john 'I am kloot' bramwell last week.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

You lucky, lucky man.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

Ummm. I don't really see how luck comes into it.
He's a public performer. I bought tickets to a gig.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

But what good fortune they had some left.
You lucky sod.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

Bands named after songs are shit.
And bands with random names that don't really mean anything. Like "30 Seconds To Mars"
( WHARRGARBL, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

Positive and constructive suggestions there, Karl.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

I'm the board emo.
"Positive" isn't a word you can apply to me.
( WHARRGARBL, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

But the best names, generally are the ones with a story behind them.

( WHARRGARBL, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

Good morning
*waves* Where is everyone?
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

I'm here
I was there, where I bought some things, then I came back, now I'm here.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

Wicked
Good Sunday-ing
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

I'm going out later to see The Specials
It's all go here
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

Mmm hash browns.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

I am here
contemplating making eggs on toast while doing nerdy netbook things
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

Like making the fan shut the fuck up?
/first thing I did with mine.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

Mine fan is fine
I have set up tri booting between xp,win 7 and ubuntu, so just installing updates and drivers now.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

Hmm. Do you not think that's overkill for a netbook?
My netbook is only for internet browsing and being a glorified iPod at times. I have a PC for all the stuff I need a computer for... I don't see the point of pimping a netbook to buggary :(
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

I got a normal laptop which has XP/Vista for everyday needs
Then the netbook has the 3 OS plus a load of VMs. It can handle them all and is ultra portable, so it is worth doing in my case.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

I was going to be nice and make breakfast for people
But I have eaten far too much this weekend and the idea of food makes me feel ill.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

weekend lifetime
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

urgh I hate that feeling!
Luckily I'm a bottomless pit so I rarely get it!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

I have fallen into this cycle of constantly buying sandwiches from the shop instead of eating properly
I expect to die soon.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

This 'eating properly' thing is a load of bollocks.
its far quicker to just buy a sandwich than it is to cook food, therefore you have more of your life to yourself. Sandwiches often have bits of tomato or lettuce or maybe BOTH so they are just as healthy as a cooked meal.
( broadsword, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

These are cheap and nasty spar sandwiches though
I yearn for a chunky vegetable soup or a bolognese
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

Just stick some hot pepper sauce in the sandwich
PROPER FOOD
( broadsword, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

MAN FOOD

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

I think you'll find Fray Bentos pies to be the manliest food available.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I almost died of an overdose when they went on offer a few weeks back

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

Ive got two sitting in the cupboard, waiting their turn

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

I went to a friends gaff once
whilst he was attempting to open a Fray Bentos pie with a blunt tin opener. He was struggling and didn't really get anywhere, so he threw the pie half way across the room and stormed off to his bedroom and locked the door.

So what's worse, Fray Bentos or crack?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

I think they are both the same

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

Evidently.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

you were going to make to make the INTERNET food?

( GrandmaOfShoes, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

Morning
I am looking forward to spending time with my family today we are off to my sister inlaws for a meal this afternoon so there will be hugging and laughing and wine.
( Mrs Sp@m, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Coolio
I have spent the weekend with family so I shall be going home soon.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

I'm here!
Hallo miss fairy :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

Yo ho :)

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

I have to go to work soon :(

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

Rubbish!

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

HAHAHAHA

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

i know :( :( :( :(
though i only have to work wednesday and thursday next week, for a full weeks pay.
so it's not entirely bad.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

I get to not work all week, for no pay.
WIN!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

worst win ever!
spacker.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

Yeah, well, you just wait and see what my next Offline SSG Bullying Event will be.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

He's in the shower.
Think I'll go and fiddle with the hot and cold water.

(I can see the opportunity for a strike through joke here)
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

jokes on you,
i pissed in the shower.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

I pissed in your shampoo.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

i thought it smelt a bit meaty.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

I was in the shower

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

and I forgot that it's a bank holiday weekend and thought i'd have to get up tomorrow
i was very happy when i realised how stupid i was being (:
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

*waves*
I'm waiting for the grand prix to start so I can watch it & then go back to bed.
( broadsword, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

allo old chap!
what is it about cars? really?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Your lack of a Y chromosome may hinder any attempt we make at explaining this to you.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

but I like cars
just not enough to stare at a screen watching them go around and around in a circle.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

It's ok. Not all of us stare at the screen.
Some of us go in person. And it's not circles, this isn't NASCAR.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

it's topologically equivalent to a circle.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

In the sense that a pentagon or a hexagon is yes.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

Your mums topologically equivalent to a circle.

( broadsword, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

human beings topologically approximate doughnuts.
Imagine that.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

I'm a Calabi–Yau manifold myself.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

bad hair day?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

I'm licking the jam out of my ring as I type this

( broadsword, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

it's 8:00pm.
don't pull the YM stuff now please? Please?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

The Indy 500 is today too.
I know you wouldn't want to miss that.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

The indy 500 is shit.
500 miles is far too long for my attention span to deal with. F1... 200 miles... 90 minutes or so. That's about right.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

The computer game on the Amiga was good,
if you immediately turned round and drove round the track the wrong way.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

I prefered destruction derby.
The only driving game I remember on the Amiga was Lotus Turbo Challenge 2
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

destruction derby was awesome

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

Morning!
They go
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

also its Monaco today which is one of the more interesting races.
( broadsword, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

how can it be "more interesting"?
do they put road spikes and hazards up to test their ZOMG1337skillzorz or something?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

well at least there's some scenery to look at.
and that bit with the building on stilts that goes over the road.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

It's a street circuit with no margin for error
even for someone who doesn't like formula one its worth watching in case a car ends up in the sea
( broadsword, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

or someone's living room

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

I think I'd have mixed feelings if an F1 car drove into my house.
On the one hand, it would make a terrible mess, cost a lot of money, and generally be a major inconvenience. But on the other hand, it would be totally awesome.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

You might end up with a nice Lewis Hamantelpiece

( broadsword, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

:(

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Yes!
Monaco is ace. They should do something like that in London. If only all the Grand Prixes went through city streets.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

The Valencia GP is shit though

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Be fair now. There's been one Valencia Grand Prix.
It was shit, buit that doesn't mean it's always going to be shit. I've seen shit grands prix at Silverstone and Monza. It can happen to anyone.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

"Grands Prix"
Monaco is good for the spectacle, annoying because of all the showbiz hangers-on and fun because of all the crashes

it's also a bit shit because absolutely no one can overtake and there's inevitably about an hour of safety car laps
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Grand Prixes.
I'm not French.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

I went to the Birmingham Grand Prix
it was all of the win.

Technically not a real grand prix apparently but I was only 10 so what did I know.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

I just got out of the bath.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

I'm at the cutting edge of contemporary life.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

I don't know

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

You're right there.
*points*
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

Blimey
I look lovely today.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

I am in bed.
Anyone care to join me?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

give us five minutes

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Filth.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

I'm now in the garden.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

this is exactly the sort of wizardry I expect from you

( GrandmaOfShoes, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

I'm going to bed...
*glees*

I have to get up at 6 though :(
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

everyone's hiding to escape the fumes from your cavernous toxic-shock factory of a minge

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

I'm here. That's bad enough

( GrandmaOfShoes, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

I'm just outside of basingstoke.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 11:31, archived)