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I'd like to link this
au.eurosport.com/rugby/world-cup/2011/moustache-cream-ban_sto2843563/story.shtml

What's the shittest excuse you've ever heard?
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:01, archived)

I'd like to see a separate set of sporting events
where the taking of performance enhancing drugs is condoned. I reckon the steroid Olympics would be way more exciting than the normal ones.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)

You could have a seperate league table for athletes and drug companies like they do in F1 with drivers and constructors.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:07, archived)

Haha, yes.
I think this is a great idea. There may be a few objections people would make on ethical grounds, but I for one would like to see the kind of super athlete that a few decades of concerted, well funded smart drug research could produce. At the moment it's mainly military people in on the game, and they don't like to share.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:12, archived)

it'll become like the horse racing fraternity
with "stud" athletes and farms. Human rights folks might get a little upset. But I'm with you, it's all for our entertainment anyway, and they'll be too dumb to realise how badly they're treated anyhow. Unitl one of them freaks out because of the 'roids and starts ripping heads off spectators. I'll watch form home thanks.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:23, archived)

Like in the red dwarf book
where they grow goal keeper that are 8ft tall x 8yds wide, and boxers that are just nerveless wedges of flesh
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)

You've made a unix joke and a Red Dwarf reference in the same day,
NERD.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, archived)

don't let on, right, but I'm playing Nerdgo and I am just waiting for a reference to graphing calculators, then I can stand up and shout NERDGO! I can't hardly wait, I tell you
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:23, archived)

I don't have any I'm afraid
I did make a fully functional oscilloscope at uni if that counts... that was kind of graphy.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 18:29, archived)

"I knew the property market was overheated, and I was just about to do something about it when it collapsed."
Brian Cowen.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)

I hope he doesn't commit hairy-kiri

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)

That would beard rajedgy(be a tragedy)

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:13, archived)

surely he moustache known

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:14, archived)

You''d have thought that someone would tWIG

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:15, archived)

maybe they'll comb round and shave some time off his ban?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:17, archived)

He's broken the rules and now he has toupee

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:22, archived)

This has to be up there
www.independent.co.uk/news/united-drop-grey-strip-after-black-day-1305058.html
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:08, archived)

I don't have any excuses for what I've done
I deserve your judgment in all that I am.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:14, archived)

"I thought Jews LIKED gas"

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:16, archived)

If anyone's as bored as I am
here's a video of Seattle Sockeye vs Furious George @ Eugene Summer Solstice.
player.vimeo.com/video/25383212?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0
Yeah, it's frisbee.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:33, archived)

it looks like netball
but without the nets

or the ball....

but it does.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:35, archived)

Watch it at 7:20
It's awesome
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)

Why do lots have cunthats on?

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:44, archived)

I've been with my dying grandad all day yet clicking that link has been todays lowlight.
I just can't see why they're not allowed to rugby tackle.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)

Yeah I get kicks out of dying relatives too
It's non-contact. That's just how it is. Saying that it should have an element of some other sport in it isn't very clever.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:49, archived)

I'm just saying what would make the sport appeal to me.
Like if any player goes down 'injured' in football, the game should be stopped and that player should have the piss taken out of him until he gets back up, all embarrassed. That would make me start playing again.

and fuck it, I take back my dickheadish comment to start. I came here to de-stress today not act like a bellend to people.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, archived)

From my perspective I would think the game would be much worse if it was a contact sport.
It's not refereed, so it'd pretty much be a disaster.
It's hard to play to a competitive level without the contact anyway.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:03, archived)

Fair one.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:06, archived)

Ergo, norseman names Ron "Ogre".

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:48, archived)

is this crosswords again

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:50, archived)

I hate crosswords

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)

do they make you cross?

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:56, archived)

word

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:57, archived)

i.imgur.com/IYFjb.jpg
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:04, archived)

Step on gnu rung. No pets.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:52, archived)

Stack cats.

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:52, archived)

Nurse!
Yes?
Run!
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:55, archived)

wank lighthouse

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:57, archived)

No lemon, no melon.

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)

that's a bob marley song, innit?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:14, archived)

skcollobollocks
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:53, archived)

1 across exclamation, profanity (4)
4 down no longer fresh (3)
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:57, archived)

GLADE!

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)

5 across weighty catholic collective (7)
12 down a slight or harm done to another (5)
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:02, archived)

6 across first name of first man in space (4)
7 across towns offering healthy liquid refreshment? (4)
15 down teacher’s mark of correctness (4)
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)

hahahaha!
cryptic abuse, I like it.
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)

Neil O'Grade?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)

Was it Eliot's toilet I saw?

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:50, archived)

Rise to vote Sir

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)

Egad! No bondage?

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)

Ed, u r rude

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:53, archived)

Steven, I left an oily lion at feline vets.

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:55, archived)

A man, a plan, a canal - Panama

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:57, archived)

Kay, a red nude, peeped under a yak.

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)

hahahah

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:04, archived)

gibbon = nob big

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:57, archived)

Aibohphobia

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Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:52, archived)

That's allegedly the fear of palindromes

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)

Even though it's only a joke thing really

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)

Hannah

(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:53, archived)

lol

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:53, archived)

tit

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:54, archived)

DAD

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:54, archived)

Honey Badger...

(

M o D, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)

anna
hannah
bananab
gag
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)

I saw a dvd with that as the menu options once

(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)

do not like kilt on od

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:02, archived)

stuff this thread aer ht sihtf futs

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:04, archived)

Palindromes were invented by sotades the obscene.
They're supposed to be obscene.
Like
Bonk girl anal rig knob
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)

boob
poop
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)

tit
coc
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)

foof

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:14, archived)

oo, foofoo

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)

Anal Alana

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)

5 slags Sip piss glas5

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

sotades the obscene went on to become one of the most prolific lyric writers ever to be associated with the eurovision song contest

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)

Did he write 'Wut Wut in the butt?'
I think that was Germany's 2009 entry
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:28, archived)

a man, a plan, a canal - suez

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

Rettebs! I flahd, noces eh? Ttu, but the second half is better.

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)

hctan staff; it's stiff at snatch
would be great if hctan was a real word that meant "flesh".
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)

TC ere mih sog ho oh gosh I'm erect

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)

elimsa sahd nelleby my bellend has a smile

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:35, archived)

london = notlob

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:13, archived)

Greetings, Talkers
Help us choose the new QOTW over on /board. We miss you there. Really, we do.

HERE
(

Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)

Oh boy!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:28, archived)

I have chosen
My best and worst recipe for misery via a stereotypical bedroom disaster: the movie
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:31, archived)

All terrible
I have abstained.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:31, archived)

Bedroom disaster was when my bed broke the weather is miserable I have a recipe for treacle tart my favourite stereotype scottish alcoholics best movie moment kevin bacon says motherhumpers worst movie moment Jamie Lee Curtis takes his clothes off.
What do I win?
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:45, archived)

I don't know why i vote

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:33, archived)

jesus FUCKING christ

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)

I wonder if bedroom disaster will win?

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)

If it does
it'll be a whole week of "my mum/dad/sister/aunt/dog caught me wanking to horse porn." Raising the bar of internet comedy.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:35, archived)

And then I got off the bus.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:36, archived)

And a handful of "MY DAD FUCKED ME. NOTICE ME. BOO HOO HOO. ONLINE."

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)

~~DAD~~ UNCLE
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:44, archived)

That's right, she was too ugly for her dad.
Quality times. I remember when all this was fields.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:47, archived)

oh god,
the scope for internet attention seeking may actually break the fail archive.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:47, archived)

'but it was okay because I'm a horse so it was only slightly embarrassing'

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:48, archived)

Fucking hell, you've just picked the four most recent suggestion here you lazy cunt.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:35, archived)

I think the QOTW should be "Why should baldmonkey be chief mod?"

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:37, archived)

1. Mind your own business
2. bald who?
3. FRESH
4. I don't understand the question
5. Decaf if you've got it
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:48, archived)

I have no idea what you are talking about.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:50, archived)

then you should select option 4

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:52, archived)

these polls are open for an insufficient time period
dude
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)

those are all terrible
www.b3ta.com/board/10459116
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:45, archived)

I voted for Theoban

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:45, archived)

www.b3ta.com/board/10418842
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:47, archived)

I've voted twice on that
Rigging polls all year round, that's me
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)

Bollocks
I want THIS tattoo 4.bp.blogspot.com/_a3o7USF8hwA/StplgQpSAoI/AAAAAAAABqw/hZzG-_8rkak/s400/bat,chica,tattoo,bats,black,bod,mod-d7ac15bcce5ce6fbfb38abe01d9fb6c2_h.jpg

What do you want?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

Those shoes.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

I'd like both

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)

yeah it's rubbish having one shoe

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:31, archived)

A QOTW thread

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)

To not get a tattoo in arguably one of the most painful places to get them

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:30, archived)

I'm a double hard bastard.
I'll be fine.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:31, archived)

Also you've only got tiny feet so there's less to hurt.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:36, archived)

she'll only get half a bat on each foot

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:45, archived)

Alright Short
Not that tattoo because it is a bit shit. I want my woman to come home so I can look at her tits.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:30, archived)

I like it
just because it's not a tattoo of a kebab.

You have pics of her tits on your phone. I know cos you showed my mum :(
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:32, archived)

They're cracking tits
Your mum looks like someone who likes quality items. I sold three tickets to people to Cov today, I wanted to go with them just so I could look at your face :(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)

Why do you want to look at my face?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)

I like clowns

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:45, archived)

Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:31, archived)

Just had a classic example of charity encouraging weakness in the office.
We've just heard about a colleague who has cancer for the third time. Probably terminal this time.
Yeah, boo hoo and all that, BUT time was people only got cancer once, if that. Nowadays, thanks to the likes of Macmillan and Marie Curie and that, you get people like this having cancer THREE (3) [three] times.
Proof, if it were needed, that charity encourages weakness. Stop the madness, ban charity. Send me your cash. baldmonkey for mod.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:09, archived)

dear baldmonkey
Sonic The Hedgehog is now 20 years old.
What is your opinion of Sonic The Hedgehog?

Many thanks
Eddie 28 from Kent
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)

Meh.
I was always more of a Mario fan. I never felt in control of Sonic.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)

^this

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:14, archived)

Both of you are pussies

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)

Fuck off.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)

sonic is an idiot
All he can do is run...that's it. A speedy idiot.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:19, archived)

And spin through stuff, don't forget that.
And turn into SuperSonic, that was the mutt's nuts that was
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)

incorrect
sonic was and is an utter shitwipe.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)

I hear even Tails can kick Mario's arse ANY DAY

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:30, archived)

despite the fact that adam likes them, the sonic games WERE good
sonic 3 was a masterpiece
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)

Time to bust out some of the fanfiction!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:45, archived)

*opens the 200 page manuscript written on lined paper (some on squared paper as I ran out of lined)*

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:45, archived)

*sits at your feet*
tell us the one about the purple chaos emerald!
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

Michael Jackson did some of the music for that, if you didn't know that already.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:46, archived)

By all accounts he was on board for the early drafts
but was disappointed by the Mega Drive's sound quality so he quit.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:50, archived)

I don't hate him or anything.
I just preferred Mario.
Sonic wasn't for me. Not my cup of tea. Still got a master system with it on though.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)

that's alright then

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)

SO IS YOUR FACE.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

SO ARE YOUR LEGS

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

totally
wtf is he doing? spinning on the spot?? Why???
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)

How depressing must it be to have just hit 20, yet know that your life peaked over a decade ago?
/no decent Sonic games since Adventure
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)

He doesn't know though, as he's fictional.
Easy mistake to make, so I'll let you off.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)

YOU.
a) you coming over next weekend? You can stay and everything.
b) SIGN UP FOR CHRISTMAS
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)

we have to sign up for Christmas now?
it's always just kind of happened before.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:26, archived)

Last year there was only 4 of us.
And one of them was another b3tan's Real Doll.

Nice lass. We had a quick bunk-up in the gents.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:29, archived)

I plan on telling everyone about the hardware of the ps3

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)

I am but I have no idea how I'm getting there as driving's probably not an option.
I'll figure something out though.

WHAT IS CHRISTMAS?
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:48, archived)

WHERE'S MY FUCKING INVITE?
I HATE YOU.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

It's on the calendar
you sack of shit
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

OH. I WISH I COULD COME.
BUT I CAN'T. PROBABLY.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:24, archived)

NOT CHRISTMAS YOU FUCK,
THIS WEEKEND. I WANT TO COME AND SLEEP WITH YOU.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:32, archived)

I like the handheld games (I recently finished Sonic Colours on the DS)
Never liked adventure or any Sonic game that wasn't 2D.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:28, archived)

i'd like to try sonic colours
adventure was pretty good, to be fair.

when they make one for the 3ds, i think that will hurt some eyes/brains.
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)

You're 28? Oh man, I'm about 4 months off of 28 and you got a fit wife and nice house and all that. I got so much catching up to do !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

Cancer has rights, too.
Why do you want to kill two out of every three cancers before they're even born?
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)

You're the fucking wuss Baldy, this chaps had cancer TWICE already, that's proper hard that is.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)

It's a woman.
And it isn't "hard"; it's exploiting the system.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)

You're just pissed off that no-one in the office is looking at you.
This is the real-life equivalent of you being /talk's 'resident mental' and then being upstaged by Gilgamesh getting himself sectioned.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:21, archived)

Baldmonkey is a poor-man's Gilgy
Discuss.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:31, archived)

You're not allowed to talk about Gilgy.
You weren't there at the beginning, you don't know how good he was.
Always In Are Harts.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)

spazzing back IS theoretically possible...

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)

he hasn't though, has he

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)

look im balancing the mean with some nice, let it go

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:45, archived)

but i wasn't done being mean

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)

well you carry right on :)

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

how would you know?
are you just repeating something you heard from one of the bigger boys?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)

I was here in 2004
I've witnessed this phenomenon
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)

what were you called then?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:45, archived)

adam_is_saxy

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:49, archived)

huh, i thought you only popped up recently

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)

look at his high number.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)

yeah, i assumed he must have made a new account

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

i was saying that to give you a reason to think what you thought, no worries, just trying to help

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:02, archived)

ahhhhhhhh i seeeeeeeee

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:08, archived)

I've asked cr3 to reinstate my old one
Then I'll only be marginally higher.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)

your older account would have a lower number, dumb-dumb

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:09, archived)

I meant marginally higher than Binky's
Instead of it being a lot higher than it is now
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

i see
to be fair. you'll still be the same person whatever number you have
i don't think people respond to you with such vitriol because of your account number
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:19, archived)

This is true

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

Fuck off.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:11, archived)

look at my low number
/old school baby
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:08, archived)

man, i wish i had a 4 figure user number
i was here early enough but i just used to read what people wrote so i didn't sign up
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)

I'm glad I made it under the 30,000 mark, where legend says it 'users with a number higher than 30,000 are all shit'

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:13, archived)

mainly it's the shit people who are shit, regardless of number
so don't worry your pretty little head about that
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

MY HEAD IS MASSIVE THANK YOU VERY MUCH
I'm like an aging Friz
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

Fair comment.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:12, archived)

if this was still the previous thread, i'd say this
if you vehicle has eye lashes, do you put masCARa on them?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:14, archived)

but it's not
so you didn't...?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)

im still checking that thread.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)

the same cancer 3 times or 3 different cancers?
Anyone up for a game of Cancer bingo? To the Radiotherapy Ward!!
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)

I was going to post 'I'VE got cancer baldmonkey you insensitive prick'
but then I remembered the hoo-haa over F***'s D**d B**y and thought better of it.
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:19, archived)

Can sir (cancer) get a sense of tumour (humour)?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:23, archived)

it's only because cr3 and the mods are so humourless, I might get banned.
Quite clearly: BALDMONKEY FOR MOD
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:27, archived)

well i bought pitta bread, cheese and cucumber and made a delicious sandwich
with mouldy marge and now it just tastes of mould.

also, the woman's garage/husband etc keep ringing my phone and i don't know what they want because i am at work and not at liberty to keep answering my fucking phone for them. she has my insurance details, what more do i have to do?
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)

it tastes kind of like cheese mould though and i have nothing else to eat so im forcing it down.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)

Don't let her or anyone connected to her talk to you
Not even her insurers. They'll want to swing it their way, only person you need to talk to are your own insurers.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)

well i listened to the answerphone messages and rang the garage back
because it's the same garage that lost my car key a month ago, so i'll tell them to speak to insurers and wtf is everyone calling me for
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:26, archived)

im not calling her back ever again though, i called once to provide my insurance details, she refused to give me the equivalent, so screw it.
i've done what i needed to.
if the garage wants to call me on a number i am free to answer then i will happily answer and say go to the insurance you tits.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:29, archived)

I was going to lay the smack down
and say that it's not margarine as margarine is not legally allowed to be sold for 40 years or so as it was utter shite, but I think the word has done that whole evolving shit too much and any fat spread is allowed to be called marge.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:30, archived)

sorry my olive oil and water based spread.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:33, archived)

until there's a better word, im saying margarine.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:33, archived)

Why don't you call it by its brandname instead?

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:34, archived)

sainsbury's reduced fat olive oil spread?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:35, archived)

it's a bit shit if you have to use a brandname to describe such a generic produce.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)

{other brands are available}
trying to keep B3ta impartial. carry on.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:37, archived)

utterly butterly
wot, not butter?
clover
holy fuck, it's marge.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)

i just buy butter
I can't deal with the quagmire of modern fat based spread brands, and THEIR LIES!
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:40, archived)

we were stuck up our own arses for a while too
then we couldn't deny it was getting far too expensive to justify.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)

stuck up your own arse?
try Marge^TM the ultimate lubricant for all your anal adhesions!
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)

hell no
we use Liquid Silk 100ml pump bottle. £9 each.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:52, archived)

hang on
Buying butter makes me stuck up my own arse? What about my collection of antique butter dishes shaped like ladies boobs?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:47, archived)

I can't believe that I can't believe it's not butter is not butter.
And I can't believe that the stuff I can't believe is not I can't believe it's not butter is not also actually butter.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)

My Auntie Marje is ill
I can't believe she's not better.

Sorry..
(wimbley is feeling hungover, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)

well "Spread" would be better I think
But I was saying I was actually wrong, or at least ill advised to sit on that high horse.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)

but that might mean fish paste or chocolate spread or many things.
people understand the concept of marge.

yeah, i cba to argue either.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:40, archived)

Cheddar underwent a similar classification
Lost of rubbish cheeses are being sold as Cheddar, but it's not
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:34, archived)

Cheddar is pretty hardcore
when you get down and dirty with it.

none of that Cathedral City crap.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)

Do you reckon that there's a case for getting the makers of Seriously Strong Cheddar done under the Trades Descriptions Act?

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:46, archived)

depends how much it can bench!
Boom boom!
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:51, archived)

Absolutely
Go get 'em, tiger
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Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:52, archived)

dear baldmonkey
look at my fresh sexual greenhouse it has apple mint, ginger mint, dahlias and lots and several and many fresh things
(

moohalaa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)

ITS BOOTIFFFLE

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:02, archived)

get a picture of you and the fella standing in it
then it'll have pansies in there too!
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:13, archived)

I'm not keen on mint
but I respect your choices anyway.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

alright
I'm tired bm
only got an hour of sleep last night
wanna go to bed man, man pet.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)

FUCK YEAH!
Both my boys were arseholes last night. Took it in turns to stop us sleeping. I feel like shit.
I'm going to fucking riot if SBP isn't in the newsletter this week.
SORT IT OUT ROB. SETUP BEAT PUKE IS AWESOME, YOU NAME-SEARCHING BASTARD.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

what the fuck is this shit, now?
car-lashes.co.uk/

somebody at my work has these on their car. there goes the fucking gene pool.

what's the most retarded accessory you've ever seen? i have a particular hatred of girls with pink steering wheels/seatbelts/dashboards.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:27, archived)

well that begs the question
is shit fucked?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

powered by fucking fairy dust

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

This with great big fucking bells on.

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:30, archived)

and anything like 'bitch on board'
women are such cunts
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)

no offence

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)

Anything with the fucking Playboy logo on.
The owner thinks they say 'look at how empowered I am'.
They don't.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:32, archived)

I've never seen an attractive girl wearing or owning Playboy stuff (outside the magazine, obviously).
Just saying.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:35, archived)

Mortal Wombat has
lololololol
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:36, archived)

It's a huge brand round here, don't know if anyone knows what it is though.
You see men, women, children wearing clothes with the playboy logo all the time.
(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)

great big fucking bells are the worst accessory

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:38, archived)

unless you own a clock tower

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)

^this
especially ironic at petrol stations being filled up with unleaded
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:38, archived)

haha

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)

is it the CEO? I recommend finding another job if yes

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

Fuck me, it's pissing down out there.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:29, archived)

Here too.
Are we on standardised international weather now?
(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)

no it isn't

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:33, archived)

no it isn't.

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)

It's stopped here.
I took my washing in two minutes before it started.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:36, archived)

*laundry fives*

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:38, archived)

Do all new Beetles come
with a fucking gerbera stuck in the speedo?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:29, archived)

Never mind that, why does the car come with swimwear?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:50, archived)

I'm going to buy those and the nutsacks you can get for trucks and really confuse people about the sexuality of my car

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:30, archived)

nutsacks for trucks? wot?

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:30, archived)

Here
www.ballsforcars.com/
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:32, archived)

what THE FUCK??

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)

or
www.trucknutz.com/
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)

cool.
send your picture in: www.trucknutz.com/girlz.asp

with your trucknutz hanging out of your underpants
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:38, archived)

that's just silly

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)

Add a pair of bull horns to the roof
and you'll have the stupidest car out there.
Also, is it just round here, or has anyone else seen people with furry dice hanging off the exhaust? I'm hoping it's just localised idiots.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)

No, I've seen that lately.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:57, archived)

can you fathom a reason why?
I can't imagine it adds any re-sale value.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)

uh huh
lovely.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:32, archived)

dreadlocks

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:30, archived)

shut your fucking face or i'll cut you.

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)

ONLINE DEATH THREAT HERE

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)

you knows it, sweetcheeks.

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:42, archived)

seriously though
think how ludicrous you consider those car lashes to be then try to imagine that that's how I feel about middle aged white people with dreads, only doubly so.
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:46, archived)

don't be a hater.

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:48, archived)

unless it's about people who put eye lashes on their car, presumably?

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:51, archived)

that's correct.

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:54, archived)

:(

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:33, archived)

not you too?

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:35, archived)

Not proper dreds but there's a certain tendril quality to my hair these days that's only getting worse

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:36, archived)

That's not 'dreads' that's 'not washing' you dirty cunt.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:42, archived)

Ech my hair is dead curly, when I grow it it goes curly -> afro -> dreds

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:44, archived)

Only if you don't wash it enough.
Seriously, dreadlocks are an abomination unless you are actually a rasta.
(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:48, archived)

I could've prevented this by combing more but with my hair combing hurts so I didn't bother
It's all in a ponytail anyway, I'll chop it all off at some point
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:50, archived)

Cheer up, your trust fund'll mature in a year or two and you'll be minted.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:36, archived)

Daddy pays for everything anyway, I'm not that fussed

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:40, archived)

+ on old people

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:07, archived)

There's a clothes shop for dogs near to my house.

(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:32, archived)

They're hairy midgets
That's heightist
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:33, archived)

d'you know what would be better than carlashes?
a carhawk
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:40, archived)

a what?
what?
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:41, archived)

a mohawk for your car

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:44, archived)

I'm very sorry to say
that it looks a little shit.
farm4.static.flickr.com/3334/4596451479_f09fdf2942.jpg
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:01, archived)

Saw a Car yesterday with a teddy bear seat cover
It just looked like he was being bummed my PedoBear.
(

Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:42, archived)

your pedobear?

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:43, archived)

I bought some of those off ebay
Not got round to putting them on yet. They're funny, don't see what the ish is.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:46, archived)

i bet your car has a name.

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:48, archived)

Are you two going to have a fight?
Palms are sweating all over the internet.
(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:51, archived)

i wouldn't fight spango.
she looks VICIOUS.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:54, archived)

She could do a serious mischief to your ankles.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:06, archived)

Chocobo
Coz it's yellow.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)

heeeeeey
you're hardly ever here any more
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:50, archived)

I saw someone wear sticky gloves for frisbee...

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:07, archived)

I have seen those
I can't even find the words, it looks fucking horrendous
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:10, archived)

I went to Glastonbury once.
I thought it was a bit shit. My highlights were: Ben Folds Five, Ultrasound, Robbie Williams and watching Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on my own cos all my friends fucked off to see Bernard fucking Butler. My lowlight was being at Glastonbury. This is my Glastonbury story, tell me yours. If you don't have one, tell me a fact about yourself.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:10, archived)

I don't have much planned for today.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:11, archived)

Got a job yet?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:14, archived)

Not really.
A few bits and pieces of freelance work, nothing permanent.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

i went to glastonbury twice.
the first time i jumped the fence and got sunburnt and kept slipping about on slippery mud, also my boyfriend got punched by a guy who nicked his hat. the guy then came up and apologised and gave him his own hat. free hat.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:12, archived)

the second time i went
i don't remember anything notable. i watched music, ate food, drank... um yeah. thats about it.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:13, archived)

FREE HAT HOLY SHIT

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:15, archived)

INORITE
i also got a free hat at the Big Chill, because there was a hat-making tent. Awesome.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)

and latitude was possibly my favourite but omg so very far.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:21, archived)

I've never been.
I have a birthmark on my bell end.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:12, archived)

I don't think I have any birthmarks.
Plenty of freckles and 'beauty spots'.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:16, archived)

i have two birthmarks in my scalp and numerous blemishes all over.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)

It's red.
And it tastes of cherry if you lick it.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:21, archived)

How do you know this?
Have you had ribs removed?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)

he has a massive penis
~~has~~ is
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:28, archived)

I wish I could suck myself off.
I'd never go out.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:31, archived)

if it would stop you posting on here too, I'm prepared to pay for the necessary surgery

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:33, archived)

DEAL.
Use the donate button on here:

baldmonkeystuff.co.uk/dear%20baldmonkey/

It's in the column on the right.

Cheers.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)

it won't let me pay in drachma :(((((((
not only did the Greeks joining the Euro fuck up the entire European economy, but it also means I can't pay to make you shut up. Stupid Greeks.
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)

You useless prick.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:49, archived)

Is that what you're saying to your penis? bit harsh

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

Between straining.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)

NNNNNNNGGGGGGGGHHHHhhhhhh.........

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)

I would like to go to Glastonbury one day
But not the festival, I want to see all the hippy shops filled with crystals and shit and the druids dancing round the Tor and all the bad poetry books
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:12, archived)

Haha.
Out of season Glastonbury. Still, it won't be full of Tarquins and Freyas.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)

It'll be filled with Geranium Posy II Archdruid of Warwick
And Merlins. Loads of Merlins. It's a LARPer town, I'd fit right in with my wineskin
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:19, archived)

as a town it's shit.
properly shit. so there.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:07, archived)

never been
I've had an operation and I'm BOOORRRREEDDD!!!!
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:14, archived)

what was the operation for?

(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)

had a ganglion removed from my wrist
and it 'urts
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:18, archived)

i had a ganglion on my ankle once, it was ace and felt no pain.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:19, archived)

and you could pinch the skin up and pinch really hard but no pain.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:20, archived)

PELVIC SPLANCHNIC GANGLION

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)

~~LANCHNIC G~~
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

I had a gang of lions in my wrist once too
They hurt more when they were in
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

That was rubbish
Go home
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)

it was tend'n towards being a good effort though

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:00, archived)

Oof
I need a lie down now
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)

a group of lions is a pride, not a gang

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:11, archived)

the young lions go around in gangs, chillin', yo nigga, all that sort of stuff, but because they take drugs they have no pride because drugs are for losers so they can't call themselves a pride
dunno.
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:16, archived)

STRAIGHT OUTTA KENYA
CRAZY MUTHAFUCKA NAMED SIMBA
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)

DRUGS AND GUNS ON THE STREETS OF THE CITY
LIFE IS HARD IN THE SERENGETI, YO
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

What operation?
I had an operation once. I don't remember it as I was only 18 months old. It was to remove skin tags from my little fingers. I have plastic surgery and everything.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:20, archived)

I cant use my right hand
And its my favourite one
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:23, archived)

I have never been.
I don't have a middle name.
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:16, archived)

The. Lovely. Jenpots.
right there. Lovely.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:18, archived)

*chuckles*
ok, I have an internet middle name, I don't have a real life middle name.
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:20, archived)

reminded of this, if you know it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0UZX-ZibpI#t=1m
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:23, archived)

I've got two.
You can have one of mine if you like. You can't have a choice though. You can be Jen Helen Pots.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:21, archived)

... fanks
*walks round corner, drop 'Helen' in the bin*

OMG Blue Star! You wouldn't believe it, a big dog knocked my over and stole that middle name you gave me!
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

:(
I was being nice. I don't think you're The Lovely Jenpots at all. You're The Meanie Jenpots

*runs off crying*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:28, archived)

It did really knock me over!
*runs back to bin, gets 'Helen' out, wipes chips and ketchup off it*

Oh look! I found it. The big dog must've dropped it. I'm so happy.
*sticks 'Helen' between my names*

Mini-Ninja has the family middle name, from Trev's side. Her middle name is Drew.
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:37, archived)

whats your other one?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)

Elizabeth.
She can't have that though because it's a family name.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:29, archived)

I have an aunt Elizabeth, it is my sister's middle name and soon it's my brother's wife's name.
Excellent name.

No Helens that i know of.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:38, archived)

although my grandma was an eileen, that's a bit like helen.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)

eileen hilda and valerie may.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:05, archived)

It's my mammy's name.
And I think she had an auntie Elizabeth. If I have a daughter it be part of her name too.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

elizabeth is my middle name.
therefore i am pleased to advise that your choice is approved and endorsed by me.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)

yoghurt

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:26, archived)

I've been three times.
The third time I went I kept thinking, 'hang on, this is all the same stalls in exactly the same places, I don't think I'll bother coming again.'
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)

(This avoids the need for me to tell you anything about me obviously)

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:18, archived)

Once was enough for me.
It was full of pricks. But I did see John Peel.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)

You're right about that. But if I tried to avoid everywhere that's full of pricks I'd never leave the house.

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:26, archived)

Dunno.
There are pricks in my house.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:30, archived)

Same here, and I live alone.

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)

Never been
and sadly just about never will. Two Readings, but I only go to All Tomorrows Parties this last decade if anywhere.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:20, archived)

It sounds shit but
I really can't be arsed with festivals anymore. If I were to go to one, fuck camping.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:23, archived)

i might do the opposite and go camping, fuck festival.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

try ATP then. All in chalets at Butlins, very pleasant.

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)

That's why I go to Latitiude, I can enjoy the comedy, the literary tent and some music
and fuck off home at 11pm to a warm bed, get up and get back onsite for midday the next day.
(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)

Keith Allen was bein all waki and walking around the hospitality area with his pants pulled down
I didn't see anyone laughing
(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)

I love and loathe that man in equal measure.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)

That particular day he just being an arsehole

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)

i remember one time when i didn't want to go to glastonbury so i didn't go

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:23, archived)

GREAT STORY BRO

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:26, archived)

MAN DUDE YO
I have the SAME STORY we could be story twins
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:30, archived)

COME TO CHRISTMAS

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)

Yeah that'd be good
I just gotta book the time off (if I can cos they normally have controls on days around Christmas) and flights and so on.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:37, archived)

i've signed up for christmas
but i have no idea how broke i'll be by then
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

I may have said it before
but when I was a wee Frisbee I was held by the cast of Platoon while they were out filming in the Phillippines
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:35, archived)

held as in kidnapped?
did your parents pay the ransom?
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)

He was the child extra that the cast repeatedly raped for added realism

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)

No, held as in when you hold a baby in your arms
That kind of held
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

yes I knew that really
just because you're a high flying legal type, doesn't mean the rest of us are thickies. Apart from baldmonkey obviously.
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

Did any of them put a gun to your head?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)

Fuck off.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

Sorry. There was no need for that.
I apologise.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

you are so fucking rude

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:02, archived)

Never been.
I've just bought tickets to see Jimeoin
(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)

I've found him a bit hit and miss.
Am I wrong, magnum?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

Hopefully
I've seen about 20 minutes of his stuff and enjoyed it all.
(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:50, archived)

You may regret this.
Lovely fella, but bland as hell.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)

I saw him a couple of years ago at a festival
and really enjoyed his stuff, hoping it wasn't just him trotting out his greatest hits now though.
(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:49, archived)

I've been his support act quite a few times.
He's funny enough, but never does anything particularly memorable.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

I enjoyed his stuff about eyebrows enormously
Still, we'll see, it's not till October.
(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:52, archived)

I've been five times, first time I was three so don't remember much
Second time it was a horrible mudbath.
Third and fourth times = best time of my life
Fifth time = working too much, no time to have fun, bit rubbish consequently. And they'd put the fence up and all the fun criminal types weren't there any more.
That was a while back, last one was 2001 maybe, expect it's shit these days because I'm not there.

Edit: corrected as accuracy in this issue is vital.
(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:00, archived)

I imagine this is correct

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

i went to glastonbury in 1995.
it was perfect, and i'm never going back in case it spoils it. it looks shit these days. i'm going to beautiful days in august. fact: i am related to the beverly sisters.
(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)

What, all of them?

(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

no. just the middle one.

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:19, archived)

How did you feel when Christina Aguilera
stole Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy from Company B and made it into Candy Man?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:17, archived)

DON'T MENTION THAT SLUT AROUND ME.

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:19, archived)

I'm distantly related to Craig McLachlan
beat THAT!
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:17, archived)

Im distantly related to David Mitchell.
I LOSE :(
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)

I went in 1984
I am very old. *creaks*
(wimbley is feeling hungover, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:27, archived)

1983 here.
*beats you in one-upmanship by a whole year*
(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)

well it's gone 12 and I STILL don't have a present

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)

are you trapped in some sort of time warp thing transporting you back to the past like Billy Pilgrim?

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:21, archived)

that's a big negatory good buddy
I'm miserable, in pain and need a present to cheer me up.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?
oops capslock sorry
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

a snack maybe? I'm quite easily pleased

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:27, archived)

I don't have any snacks, sorry.

(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:29, archived)

oh

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:31, archived)

Another hat?

(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

here you go, have one present for every city in the world, that's like at least five presents, woah
www.what-time-is-it.com/
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

super colossal!!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:29, archived)

I was hoping that when I clicked on that it would come up with
STOP! Hammer time.

But it didn't and I'm very disappointed now.
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:32, archived)

Is it your birthday?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

nope

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

I went in 98 and it was fucking miserable
I saw Sonic Youth and Bob Dylan and that was it.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:22, archived)

I was there.
Solid rain from Friday to Sunday and I hadn't brought waterproof clothes or money.
(

Zuowan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:25, archived)

I was there from Wednesday to Monday,
at least it was cheap back then but I scarcely left the tent for the last 3 days.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:27, archived)

I don't know if it was 97 or 98 when I went.
I did watch Bob Dylan for a bit to annoy my dad who loves Bob Dylan.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:28, archived)

That was 98
I haven't been to a festival other than for a day visit since.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)

I'm not racist, but...
I really could do with a cuppa. And some slippers. Maybe a biscuit.

Why are you not a racist, but...?

I'm also not racist but I just bought a ticket to see Mark Watson tonight. Hurrah.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:05, archived)

I'm not racist but I'm quite good at making piles of leaves in Autumn

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:07, archived)

no buts.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:07, archived)

means no anal?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:09, archived)

LIES.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:09, archived)

Make Manolith do another secret bash in his garden.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)

send me cash for petrol and yeah sure.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:12, archived)

I'll take it out of the ten grand Two Hats is giving me.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)

this is a sensible use of the 10k that I'm definitely going to give you

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)

it's probably the very best way he could spend it.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)

Most of it is going on a new computer for the music room.
Also an electric piano, new guitar, new bass, new mic, monitor speakers and a KP3.
I'm not giving it all away.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)

new song idea
Things you'd buy if you had 10 grand
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)

I'll need ten grand first to buy the stuff to make it on.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)

Probably a more robust external soundcard too.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)

~~external soundcard~~ corset
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)

:(

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:52, archived)

*jiggles*

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:53, archived)

this

(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:15, archived)

I should hold a bash at my place

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:16, archived)

and pay my airfare, yes?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:22, archived)

For you babes, anything

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:23, archived)

thanks, pet

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)

~~thanks~~ how man
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)

that too
HI SIS
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)

Alright lil bro.
How are you? I have a bastard behind the eyes :(
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:49, archived)

oh dear
drink too much?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:58, archived)

WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:08, archived)

because you text me last night to say that you were drinking beer!
hey you should see bridesmaids. i think you'd like it
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:10, archived)

ja

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:18, archived)

i might do one in august

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:31, archived)

DO ONE

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)

I can has secrit bash?

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)

i dunno, can you?
also i just accidentally clicked i like this. i wish you could reverse that process
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:37, archived)

im liking this because the content is so agreeable to my misclicking fingers

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:39, archived)

There are no accidents
Everything is as it should be, yes.
Well I suppose I could accommodate a few dozen mentals at my place. There's a zoo nearby too.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:39, archived)

Who the fuck would want to spend their free time with you?
Seriously. Anyone? DOES ANYONE WANT TO SPEND THEIR FREE TIME WITH FRISBEE?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:48, archived)

I would
But then I'm really not that fussy
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:51, archived)

and I find n*velty fl*ing d*scs EROTIC

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:52, archived)

i haven't played with a frisbee in a while. they are undeniably fun

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:10, archived)

I must say, all this talk about frisbee is making me feel a little uneasy
It's like I should be doing something
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:13, archived)

you know what, like, i wouldn't invite him to a secret bash cos i've never met him and don't know anyone who has,
but i would willingly meet him at a larger bash and probably have a nice enough chat or something.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:06, archived)

and then you can shed him by throwing his frisb** into a tall tree and running away

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:07, archived)

I wouldn't mind seeing him tied to the hare at the dog track, and watching that, does this count?
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:52, archived)

It does
Sorry about that :(
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:54, archived)

looks like it's a big YES from me then, I'll see you down at the track, although you won't see me of course, as you'll be moving too fast to be able to focusss on the crowd
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:57, archived)

I have the need
The NEED for- OH MY GOD WHAT ARE ALL THESE DOGS DOING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:00, archived)

......aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:03, archived)

I wouldn't mind, he seems ok really
But then I also think you, baldmonkey, are ok really so I'm probably a very poor judge of character. Everyone else thinks you're a prick.
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:15, archived)

FUCK
OFF
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:38, archived)

dude right im really sorry right but half the point of secret bashes is to maintain the clique of good folks.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:39, archived)

So why are you in it?

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)

Oh, wait no I get it now.
Haha, etc
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)

i'm Approved.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)

Hm
I guess that's the way it is then. Ah well
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)

Binks is awesome.
As is Druid. And FF. And Blue Blob. And Jenpots (until she gets drunk and cries but then she is vulnerable and i look up her skirt so that's good too). And Malchick. And the others.
You are shit. Not in a LOL way. You are shit.
I felt out of my depth at the last one but I very had a good times.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:45, archived)

Aah shit, I'm even rejected by Baldmonkey
Today is surely a grey day for me :(
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:48, archived)

I'm not sure why I'm being so horrible to you.
Sorry.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:54, archived)

i started it, blame me, but he WAS using i-can-has-cheezburger type language, which irritated me a licka teeny wicky bit.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:13, archived)

Yeah you should definitely pick on someone for talking funny on here.

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:14, archived)

i didn't say you can blame me, dognose.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:16, archived)

Permission to object to criticism: DENIED

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:33, archived)

really?
really?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)

What?
I prefer The News Quiz to The Now Show.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:52, archived)

I can't see any context to this in the slightest
but I very muchly agree.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:53, archived)

I dont know what these things are
But I would like to go to a bash. I'm curious to see what this lot are like in real life
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:55, archived)

We're all utter utter cunts

(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:58, archived)

well I've already spent time with baldmonkey
So I'm partially desensitised
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:59, archived)

I'm not
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:00, archived)

we're not either
most folk are decent in real life.
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:02, archived)

well I for one am lovely

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:03, archived)

Mostly shit.
All fat, beards, waki clothes and cleavage in attempt to make up for shitness.
I love bashes me.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:03, archived)

and thats just the men!
Oh, I am HILARIOUS
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:06, archived)

wait...no...I messed that up

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:07, archived)

There are some really good people to spend time with on here.
Moohalaa for example. I love spending time with Moohalaa. He makes me laughters.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:07, archived)

next time theres a bash I can get to I'll definity go

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:09, archived)

If it's a good one, I'll give you a lift. Along with Manolith prolly.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:11, archived)

fanx

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:13, archived)

i would be interested in a bash that starts with these three.
however i am (a) quite busy and (b) quite broke.

so you should come and camp in my garden. but no molesting the chickens.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:15, archived)

I promise nothing

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:16, archived)

what? nothing as in you wouldn't come, or you might molest the chickens? or what?
are there NO guarantees?
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:19, archived)

oh I'd definitely come along
But I would make a sexual advance on your livestock
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:21, archived)

it's the chickens that come first, everyone knows that, he shouldn't be coming at all
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)

Sounds ace.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:29, archived)

if i have one, you can come

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:11, archived)

cheers!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:12, archived)

I can vouch for him not being entirely shit.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:38, archived)

I assume you're all a lot cooler than me.
Maybe I should assume otherwise.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:06, archived)

No.
It's generally about 50:50. Half the people are a good laugh and funny and that, the other half are embarassing to be seen out with.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:10, archived)

I simply dont want to know what category I fall into

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:12, archived)

you was lovely when I cried
You're rubbish at being an absolute cunt.
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:52, archived)

ONLY BECAUSE I WANT TO FUCK YOU.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:53, archived)

silly baldmonkey

(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:56, archived)

Didn't a student type do this already?
But he was all LOL I AM ASKING A BLACK MAN FOR THE TIME, USING A PHRASE THAT PROBABLY MAKES HIM THINK HE IS BEING RACIALLY ABUSED EVEN IF IT ISN'T AND IT WAS JUST ILL THOUGHT OUT AND I MIGHT ACTUALLY UPSET SOMEONE.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:08, archived)

yes
it was a good idea for a video, but the joke did run thin after a few minutes. I am unashamedly ripping of that joke.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:11, archived)

f
I prefer it in text form. The video seemed very racist to me. In a LOOK AT ME BEING RACIST BY NOT BEING RACIST.
He might as well have run up to a group of black people, shouted "I HAVE NO REASON TO BELIEVE YOU ALL DANCE WELL", Al Jolson himself up and started bellowing "MAMMY!" then insisted in court that it wasn't racist, he was taking the piss out of shoe polish.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)

looking at the video again
he doesn't actually target anyone specific, well there's at least one drab looking white guy in there...
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:39, archived)

The bit that sticks in my head is the black guy in the street.
I think it was "I'm not being racist but could you tell me the time?" or something similar. The chap looked confused about whether to be offended or not and looked like he might beat the shit out of him. And I thought "Yes. Do beat the shit out of him. He IS being offensive."
Or summink.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)

funnier as an in joke
Which I think is what you meant. Never keen on comedy having victims.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:58, archived)

Yeah. I think you are right.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:15, archived)

I am not racist, but I would probably accept a vital organ from a racist if I needed a transplant

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:08, archived)

That's how you become racist
If you get a racist kidney you end up not filtering the racist humours out of your blood, and before you know it you're marching with the EDL and shouting 'oi oi darkies out fack fack fack fack' at the coppers in Hebden Bridge
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)

shut up.

(

janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)

I don't even own an taxi.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)

I'm not racist but I'm looking forward to seeing Reginald D Hunter on Saturday

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)

He's on my list
mark watson, reggie and Ross noble.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:12, archived)

I have seen
Ross Noble-he is funny! The Mrs didn't 'get' him, but then she didn't 'get' Eddie Izzard either.
I have also seen Reginald D. hunter. He was also funny. The Mrs didn't 'get' him as he was too political.

I may not take the Mrs to any more comedy gigs.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:19, archived)

How can you not """""get"" Eddie Izzard?
Cats quietly drilling for oil behind the sofa?? Genius.

Dave Gorman in november

Sarah Millican in April... And we've already got the actual tickets, ready to lose... APRIL!!! They don't stand a chance!
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:21, archived)

Dave Gorman is Not Funny.
And I've gone right off Sarah Millican since I found out she's a regular on Loose Women.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:26, archived)

OH he's great
don't shatter my dreams. The whle charts and graphs thing can wear, but it's soo soo funny first time I think. nerd out.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:30, archived)

she's still good though
her, shappi khorsandi and andi osho are doing a good job of proving women can be funny
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:32, archived)

shappi khorsandi is Iranian
Bet you didn't know that

Bet you've not heard her say it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and A FUCKING GAIN
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:59, archived)

I saw Izzard on the Sexie tour.
He was rubbish. I was quite drunk and prempting his jokes. I *heart* Izzard too. I'm a bit in love with Reginald D Hunter, but not as much as my mam is in love with him.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:25, archived)

I keep thinking about how awful Noel Fielding suddenly seems
After seeing him on wimbledon. Instantly making up some tired story about wrestling a monster in centre court or something. So formulaic it's unreal.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:27, archived)

I'm seeing him in November
he was good last year, but he had a better warm up act. I've now got tickets to see Bill Bailey in November as well, so that's good.
(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:22, archived)

Did you see TInselworm on DVD?
First time i've not found him at all amusing, and almost certainly down to the size of the venue... Arena comedy sucks.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:29, archived)

yeah, i saw dandelion mind in a tiny venue and that was excellent

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:31, archived)

i saw tinselworm in cardiff i think, and it was a bit of a letdown, because his first three shows are SOOO funny.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:37, archived)

Yeah, it wasn't that great
however this is Dandelion Mind in a smaller place so should be better.
(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)

I've only ever been to one comedy gig
A super lovely friend bought me tickets to see Bill Bailey for my 30th birthday. It was ace.
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)

that was the one with the song about asda, wasn't it?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:58, archived)

It was!

(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:59, archived)

Make bladmonkey quieter.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)

I LOVE YOU SPIDER RIVIERA AND YOUR AMAZING STEED.
I LIKE STEED FROM THE AVENGERS AND DIANA RIGG AS EMMA PEEL PHWOAR EH RETRO WANK.
DO YOU WANT TO MUTUAL WANK WITH MY FORESKIN PULLED OVER YOUR "TEPID INMATE"?
I FANCY A BOILED EGG. AND SOME BEETROOT.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)

You are prime Dignitas poster material.

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)

I'm not a racist, but I really like egg banjos

(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:14, archived)

buy me a present or fuck the fuck off

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)

I have some Delight if that's any good
I'd call it Turkish Delight, but as I'm not racist...
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:18, archived)

of all the delights, Angel is my favourite

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:19, archived)

of all the ones, this one is my favourite

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)

I'm not racist but
I prefer not to watch the coverage of the Tour De France
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:21, archived)

i might go and see him when he comes pompey
£15 though...
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:21, archived)

when he comes to it?
all over it?

Well there was only 1 seat left so it seemed like the right thing to do.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:23, archived)

the former
i've seen him at a festival. i'd like to see sean lock, reg d hunter and alun cochrane
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:37, archived)

I'm not racist but I ordered some
burgundy fairy wings off the internet yesterday afternoon and they arrived this morning. MEGA.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:27, archived)

hen do?

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:31, archived)

No
my friend lent me her fairy costume and I broke the wings. They're replacement wings.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:41, archived)

Willo the Wisp cosplay?
Is FF gonna be Evil Edna?
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:33, archived)

Are you insinuating that
I am Mavis Cruet, the fat fairy? Because you'd be right.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)

if JMG were here he'd say surely you mean moohalaa, here
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)

Haha
I did think something similar.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:56, archived)

let's take a moment to remember that kennth williams provided all voices
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:59, archived)

I would never insinuate anything that horrible you lovely lady.
Just seen the Evil Edna update, she's gone widescreen and has wheels. Kids these days are shit.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:03, archived)

I likes teh BBQ food
Am I a racism?
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:29, archived)

I'm not a racist but
this banana and chocolate spread-sandwich + earl grey combo is 'mazing
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:30, archived)

depends
do you throw the bones in the bin or give them to the blacks?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:31, archived)

Dude, even I know my slaves' names.
Calling them 'the blacks' is so old-country.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)

Oops

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)

I'm not a ceramicist
But i just broke the spout off a Teapot cos i'm a spak.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)

Fuck me, it's dragging today.
Yesterday flew by.
This is shit.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:57, archived)

Do something then. do a little dance
and then drink a little water.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:01, archived)

~~drink~~ make ~~water~~ love
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:05, archived)

I want to go and buy a new Nerf gun. But I can't until tomorrow.
And I don't need one.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:06, archived)

IM SO FUCKING BORED!!!!
AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!11!!!!eleven!!!!
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:01, archived)

Well, I'm off out to the dentist
see if you can do something about it while i'm gone.
Thanks, Bye.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:02, archived)

Gone in Sixty Years
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:05, archived)

Slowness

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:05, archived)

The Unbearable Lightness of Boring

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:06, archived)

The Slow and the Tedious
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:07, archived)

The Neverending Workday
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:08, archived)

:'(((((

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)

Just seen these.
Brilliant stuff.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:44, archived)

I'm taking this shit old-skool.
Morning report co10.

Unfocused irritation : 75%
Need for a dump : 56%
Tea quotient : Depleted
Likelihood of returning to bed : 98.43%
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:48, archived)

are you my wife?

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:52, archived)

Try the couch, prick!
See what I did there?
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:55, archived)

As a stand alone post I have no idea what you're on about

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:02, archived)

I reject context too
it's a fscking conspiracy isn't it??? Bloody immigrants.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:03, archived)

Hmm...
A quick scroll down (click and drag that bar most likely on the right side of your browser) will show what I'm on about. You can also use that same bar to scroll back up.
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:09, archived)

the problem is, that still doesnt make it any funnier :(

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:12, archived)

Sounds like a personal problem.

(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:15, archived)

Trouble urinating?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwZktUZGrcE
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:16, archived)

what an odd way of censoring yourself

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:50, archived)

hmm?
fsck? a unix joke. Not a funny one mind. Just becomes a habit.

you cunt.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:04, archived)

NEEEEEEERD

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:14, archived)

<NO POST CODE> reporting in here
Quite tired
One hour of sleep
Interview tomorrow, already bricking it
Would like to go home again now
Burgers for lunch
OMG FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:03, archived)

y no post code eh?

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:43, archived)

Ireland only has 48 inhabitants so if you send a letter marked ALEX, CORK I'll get it
Jeff the postman does all of South Ireland
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:45, archived)

i've been to cork

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:48, archived)

There's a good 11 people in Cork
Second largest city etc
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:50, archived)

how long have you lived there?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:50, archived)

Since February last year
Nice town, quiet though.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:55, archived)

aw, i thought there was a possibility you might have been there when i visited

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:15, archived)

Passing by like ships in the night
Nah I'm a newster over here. Thinking of upping sticks again though, travel feet are tapping
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:31, archived)

where would you go?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:52, archived)

That's the bit I'm stuck on
It's looking like if I did jack this in and move, I'd probably have to go back to England, at least for a bit. Don't really fancy that.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:54, archived)

i like england
it's where all my stuff is
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:33, archived)

my sister told me to move to portsmouth :(

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:38, archived)

i had a collision with a woman named Cork.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:57, archived)

I knew a man with a wooden leg by the name of smith

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:07, archived)

You liar
No man with a wooden leg would ever be named Smith
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:10, archived)

listen man, i don't want to point out your ignorance or anything
but unipeds aren't even ALLOWED to be called smith. the latin root of the name literally means 'two legs'
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:22, archived)

can you give me the latin root of the name literally meaning cat legs please?

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

pusmith

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:39, archived)

I like this

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:07, archived)

scared you'll come and touch him in his sleep.
but then that begs the question, why have the rest of us left our post codes?
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:46, archived)

i used the one for work, not home

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:48, archived)

NO IT FUCKING DOES NOT
READ THIS, INFIDEL!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Begging_the_question

'Many English speakers assume "begs the question" means "raises the question" and use it accordingly:[11] for example, "this year's deficit is half a trillion dollars, which begs the question: how are we ever going to balance the budget?" Many experts deem such usage incorrect.'

I appear to be an expert!
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

OH YEAH?
www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=693
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:29, archived)

no no
rebuttals are only legal with xkcd. You find one there and I'll think about it.

If all phrases are allowed to be utterly abused then the original meaning just has be be reduced to saying "you fucking idiot, that's a stupid argument" as every phrase previously able to exactly sum up the situation just means "I like chips" now.

How about Catch 22?? No fucker knows what that means. Including me mind, I have too look it up before I use it everytime as I forget.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:32, archived)

yeah, to be honest i'm no believer in the perversion of meaning thing
i just like having a dinosaur comics for basically any conversation
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:38, archived)

i was going to say this but i didn't want to be mean to lovely jenpots even though it makes me twitch.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)

I am not being mean
just proving I am a more valid human than her
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:47, archived)

i dunno, see i have met her,
so i know for a fact she is a valid touchable warm and living human,
whereas you are merely pedantic pixels.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:48, archived)

One hour of sleep?
Sexytimes?
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:56, archived)

EX31
zen calm: 85%
immediate tea: full
future tea: in large quantities
desire to return to bed: 99%
also, cherries.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:06, archived)

fuck off

(

mongychops, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:11, archived)

Bivvy level: 32%

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:16, archived)

bivvy level 0%, and likely to remain that way for the next few weeks :(

(

mongychops, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:18, archived)

Sadtimes

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:19, archived)

indeed, should have turned down this weekends work

(

mongychops, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:21, archived)

Yeah I wished I turned down employement for fishing too.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:06, archived)

if you spell it like that you won't need to.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:14, archived)

Aah crepe

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:18, archived)

PI55 0FF
I want that as my postcode
(

spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:33, archived)

3EH L0L3

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:03, archived)

TF1
Physically at work-100%
Mentally at work-15%
Remembered to bring breakfast-0%
Grumpiness-Maximum
Website needed to do all work-down due to maintainance
Ability to oggle fit staff members-impaired by blinds
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:37, archived)

open the blinds and improve you grumpiness

(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:42, archived)

the blinds are on the other side of the window
the women control the blinds :(
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:46, archived)

give them a quick call
ask them to open them.
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:48, archived)

oh that is the way huh?
I always find the women control the lighting levels too. One silly cow reckons she gets migraines from bright light so feels entitled to make everyone else work in mood lighting. GO SEE A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:13, archived)

make her wear sunglasses. Easy.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:14, archived)

Easy like a wednesday moooooorning

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:18, archived)

Oh no far too easy
I'm not racist, but last time this situation happened is was a guy actually, and he jolly well did wear wrap around shades and was fine. Mind you I think he just wanted an excuse to look cool..
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:19, archived)

WF2 Report
Kids screeching at each other: 2% (a record low)
Number of mahoooosive teas: 1
Number of mahoooosive coffees: 1
Breakfast: not hungry yet.
excitement levels: medium and rising.

Overall: Content.
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:40, archived)

po14
hours worked: 0.25
hours still to work: 11.75
tea: full but not enough milk
looking forward to: playing 3D zelda on my lunchbreak
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:46, archived)

MORE TEA INCOMING.
i'm having an oddly relaxing if a bit screwy week. how are you?
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:47, archived)

i'm ok. just a bit tired.
saw 'bridesmaids' last night. funny stuff.
has anything else happened besides the prang?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:49, archived)

what is bridesmaids?
nah nothing important. i watched "paul"; that was funny.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:02, archived)

I KNEW IT.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:04, archived)

yeah, it's pretty good innit?
bridesmaids is a comedy that's just come out. cast is 90% women but it's not a shitty chick flick.
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:14, archived)

oh man but is it all about weddings and shit?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:15, archived)

it's about the build up to a wedding
but it's not shit.
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:16, archived)

honest

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:16, archived)

Like "The Worst Week Of My Life"?

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:19, archived)

i dunno what that is

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:21, archived)

it's about the build up to a wedding
but it's not shit.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:44, archived)

then yes!

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:52, archived)

How are you finding the 3ds?
Saw one in Game the other day. Wasn't keen.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:01, archived)

I'm enjoying it a great deal.
Even if the 3D does nothing for you (and many people don't seem to realise that you can turn it off), it's a powerful little handheld with plenty of downloadable content of new and retro games. Although Mrs Eddache has Nintendogs, Zelda 3D is the first proper 3D game I've played and the 3D really does immerse you in it's world. Battery life isn't great, but I only play if for short bursts (an hour or so at a time) and put it into it's charger when I'm done, so it's never died on me.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:07, archived)

How do you feel about the announcement of the new PSP?
I think it is called Vita. Something like that.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:09, archived)

The PSP never appealed to me
so the Vita doesn't appeal either.

I think I know one person who actually owns a PSP.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:11, archived)

I do.
But only because someone didn't want it and gave it to me.
The PS3-Vita interactiveness is interesting I thought. Here is some honey.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:16, archived)

Some games appeal, like MGS Peace-Walker
but that's coming out on the PS3 anyway.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:21, archived)

i love it
the 3D works perfectly for me.
i was well impressed with the pre-loaded software that comes with it and the downloadable stuff promises to be pretty cool. also, streetpass is a nice touch. i carry mine everywhere now.

maybe wait for some more big releases and a price drop if you're not blown away.

i'm also interested in the vita. i don't play my psp much but i do appreciate the prettiness of the games. it'll need to do some pretty fancy shit to make me splash out more money though. more likely to save it for the wii u
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:20, archived)

Yes.
I think I'd rather have an iPad than a 3DS and a Vita.
And I don't even know what I'd do with an iPad.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:48, archived)

watch movies in bed.
check the internet and the news and stuff.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:49, archived)

It's the music making apps that appeal the most, I suppose.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:52, archived)

i don't want an ipad
i'd rather have a 3DS and a vita
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)

AT LAST! PEACE IN OUR TIME!

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:56, archived)

here's what we should do
YOU buy ME a vita, right?
...

that's it
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:58, archived)

Tell you what, if Two Hats pulls his finger out and gives me £10,000,
I'll bung you the money for a Vita and a couple of games.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)

ta

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:33, archived)

OX3 Report
Toast input: 63% and rising
Hospitalols: imminent
BUMSBUMSBUMSBUMSCOCKSFANNIES
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:48, archived)

you have four times as many bums as you have cocks and fannies?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:51, archived)

Pretty sexy, huh?

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:53, archived)

You should be in a hentai movie

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:56, archived)

I heard you can put a fist and foot in each one.
I can't though, I find it hard to touch my toes, that position wouldn't work for me.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:57, archived)

You've got my postcode
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAzESJ62irI
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:02, archived)

OX3 Report
Sleep: Insufficient
Dentist: Imminent
Breakfast: Dissapointing
Day Ahead: Unknown Quantity
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:56, archived)

Same postcode as TFD?
Are you two, like, doing it?
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:58, archived)

PO14
Sunny-Cloudy-Sunny-Cloudy

Unfocused irritation : !!!!!!!!!!!;;;;;;;%
Need for a dump : 100%
Tea quotient : Coffee now. Tea later. Green. With Jasmine.
Likelihood of returning to bed : 0%

Not gay: Honest.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:56, archived)

Bored and in pain
And I intend to complain until someone buys me a present
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:21, archived)

Give me three hundred pounds.
Or ten-thousand. Your choice.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:46, archived)

*gives 86 pence*

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)

I'm at my desk, computer turned on, emails have been read
and it's 9am. This hasn't happened for some months.
(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:02, archived)

time to get out the set square and align those printouts!

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:10, archived)

Time to have a wet sloopy shit

(

magnum, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:12, archived)

snap
didn't go well. too much air in it, took two goes to get rid.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:20, archived)

CV2
Bus journey: hellish due to cunt driver who thinks he's Ayrton bastard Senna
Tea status: dangerously low
Bus journey listening: Mercury Rev
Amount of time spent laughing at the weather forecast for Glastonbury: three hours
Percentage of work that will be done today: 80
Percentage of daydreams that will be dreamed today: 100
ROLL ON THE WEEKEND
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:04, archived)

The joys of walsgrave
I used to get that bus up to T'Triangle when I worked at Lloydspharmacy head office. And blockbuster before then.

Am I scaring you yet?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:07, archived)

I worked at Lloyds too
although I worked in AAH rather than Lloyds. The 32 was hell, especially when it was full of kids from Wiseman, fucking pricks.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

Ahhhh AAH were great
Helen Mattacola and the way she appeared to put on make up using Homer Simpsons Make Up Gun. BAM!
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:27, archived)

I don't know if I knew her.
I was only a temp. I worked with Chris, Gary, Colin and Mark.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:40, archived)

I started as a temp on the it helpdesk
4 years, 3 jobs and 1 job interview later I was designing their data centre and head office networks single handed... what a company.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)

Hahaha.
I liked the people but hated the job. The best bit was when they'd have those perfume sales. I got loads of top named perfumes for a fiver.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:46, archived)

Also the Christmas do I went to
was pretty amazing. It was at Warwick Uni. It was MEGA.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:46, archived)

I was possibly there, did they share one? I forget
OR if you were there before I started, I was probably sweeping it up afterwards working for the uni.

Why the fuck does any bloke who's ever smelt a haggis think they should wear a kilt to these events? Pricks.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)

I think they shared one.
I didn't really know that many people in fairness. It was a free bar though. YES.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)

AAH Meditel?

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)

AAH... real monsters

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:31, archived)

B47 report
Needing a wee but still not apparently doing anything about it: 85%
Needing toast but still not apparently doing anything about it: 65%
Listening to Bon Iver to fill in the cred gaps: 100%
Avoiding work: sadly not, why do I work when I could be skiving?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:09, archived)

BN3
Jetlag - 25%
Concentration - 5%
Eggs - none
PAIN - exceeding measurable thresholds

I saw Ryan Adams last night, he was good and that.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:11, archived)

P.A.I.N. P.A.I.N. etc

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:18, archived)

i haven't played that in ages

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:30, archived)

It's an odd "game".
Utterly pointless and unfullfilling and a rip off. But once you load it up you lose a whole afternoon to it.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:51, archived)

not Bryan Adams then
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:20, archived)

Oh dear vlad
your joke's quite dad.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:25, archived)

that's too bad
now I'm sad
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:36, archived)

may i add
i am rad
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:40, archived)

No, my lad,
You are a cad.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:58, archived)

This morning's figures, from the desk of Frisbee QC...
Workload: 3-4hrs focussed, so 5-6 actual
Drink level: Lemon-water, urgent tea required
Painlevel: 20-30%, physio later will make it 80% then 15% immediately afterwards
Consciousness: foggy but clearing.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:17, archived)

FUCK OFF.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:20, archived)

haha yeh

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:22, archived)

focussed? I mean, focussed? Really? Honestly? FFS.
(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:22, archived)

See 'foggy but clearing'
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

no, there's only one F

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

Far too Frequently S'd

(

vladimir, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:47, archived)

Marbella 29600
Weather: hot
Pants: grey
Mood: wot
Outlook: gay
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:55, archived)

Good morning /talk
What are your plans for this morning:

1. Drink coffee in peace and quiet before the ninjalings get up.
2. Shower, dress and chivvy ninjalings into getting dressed.
3. Make packed lunches and breakfasts.
4. Chivvy ninjalings along (they're both always in slow motion in a morning)
5. Drop the ninjalings to school.
6. Go pick my friend up from the train station.
7. Happy relaxed catch up times with friend.
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:13, archived)

Oh, I've just found out I've got my tickets for the olympics.
Yay!
(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:28, archived)

my mum got horse riding
and doesn't event want them anymore as the experience was so demoralising...
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:52, archived)

There is a before???
Christ, I'm always dragged out of bed far too early...

1. get kicked in the head by the small child next to me upside down in bed
2. try to ignore
3. stumble downstairs with kids at 6am
4. pull duvet out from the back of the chair in the sitting room
5. collapse under duvet on sofa
6. wake up about 50 minutes later and find they've destroyed the kitchen in the name of breakfast
7. desperately try to clear up the mess before the wife comes down and moans at me.
8. sit on sofa all day tippy tapping away hard at work with tea.

Sounds like you have a hard life there... my wife is off to soft play with friends this morning for copious coffee and biscuits, yet will still say she had a mentally busy day and is exhausted and fed up of working so hard.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:46, archived)

You've been to bed with a child?
NONCE!
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:49, archived)

when I go to soft play it IS exhausting because i run around with the child.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:04, archived)

You're doing it wrong then
For a lass anyway. I'm always in there, whether they want me there or not.

Good morning.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:08, archived)

good morning.
i contest that it is because i am not a mother so i don't know any of the women there so i join in to actually spend time with said child.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:13, archived)

ooooh yeah
I've a mental waif of a friend who has no kids... she's the only female I'd know who does it... She still buys herself lego wen she's bored.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:15, archived)

ehhh exercise is better for you than coffee and biscuits anyway.
plus i dont have the money for coffee and biscuits. plus if i sat down, the daddy would want to as well, and the kid would have a rubbish time.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:25, archived)

do you have labels on
that actually say "the daddy" and "the kid" etc..?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:10, archived)

1. Lay on the couch watching tv.
2. Get tired
3. Sleep
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:48, archived)

Try going to bed you prick.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:49, archived)

Does laying on the couch anger you?

(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:52, archived)

I'm just reading that as as Sexface-esque 'I can't sleep' wail from someone who is astonished that they haven't had any sleep because they've been on the internet all night.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:54, archived)

been up and busy all day.
Insomnia has been keeping me awake. That and the amount of coffee I have consumed to stay awake all day.

Not crying though. I'm the ddumbass who drank it.
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:06, archived)

life without a job is ace!
Apart from the endless crying and deep deep inner despair...
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:51, archived)

Even if I had a job I would sleep all day.
Working nights is the way to go.

Its 2am here.
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:54, archived)

Nights??
Nah, only if you can't afford not to. But then if someone offered me a grand a night I'd think about it...
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:56, archived)

I prefer it. you avoid those people creatures that are awake during the day.

(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:01, archived)

I manage to work in a busy office
yet often speak to no one at all all day... Hurrah for being in IT.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:04, archived)

That works then.

(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:10, archived)

really stupid really
on the train for 2 hours each way to sit in a room with marketing people I have nothing to do with at all.

SO i just refuse to go in when I can and do the same work on my sofa...
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:18, archived)

I've never had more than a 30min commute to my jobs.

(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:31, archived)

WAKE UP!
Its sunday and we have work. The animals are counting on us.
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:11, archived)

Drugs eh
so LOL.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:12, archived)

sowwy

(

jenpots, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:13, archived)

It's alright it was dull.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:24, archived)

Without this comment nobody would have known.
Thank you!
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:12, archived)

Can we have a 1:36am roll call please

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:37, archived)

No, you're a minute late.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:38, archived)

Evening Spider
Just having a beer to wind down then off to bed. Just wanted to see who was still about. I had macdonalds earlier and I'm still hungry. Thank fuck for cadburys mini rolls, although why dont they just make a maxi roll then I wouldnt have to open 4 in a row
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:40, archived)

Here's a hint, take it from a stoner who's eaten a fast food meal or several in his time.
Mcdonalds is shit, it fills you for fifteen minutes, you let a big fart go and you're magically hungry all of a sudden.

If you are going for fast food, go for burger king or kfc, BK fills you for a good 6-8 hours, kfc keeps you going for up to 6 hours.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:44, archived)

you mean a "swiss roll". just look in the actual cake section you tart.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:27, archived)

Shut it.
I'm fucking working and need to concentrate.
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:43, archived)

Ahahaha.
/ac
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:44, archived)

See the job's going well !

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 2:19, archived)

Fuck yeah, job kicks ass, people are great (seriously, first kitchen I worked in with zero bitching) and brushing up on my fish handling.
Life's good (it'd be better if I wasn't dry and was able to go to bed and sleep straight off the bat, but can't have everything).
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 2:28, archived)

You've quit drinking?
The job must be good!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 2:51, archived)

Err, no.
Mary Jane hasn't been round since sunday night.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 2:59, archived)

*Taps nose with finger*
The other dry!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 3:06, archived)

Of course.
And due to alcohol is seen as a more socially acceptable drug than my drug of choice, I'll exercise my freedom to get fucked up regardless of droughts.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 3:12, archived)

I bet you have such a hard life out there :)

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:50, archived)

I do!
*May contain lies*
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 2:07, archived)

no

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:50, archived)

No
Of course not.
(

Lord Gnome, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:55, archived)

here
11:00:22 PM
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 5:00, archived)

why don't you have a shit?

(MarkP0rter is an annoying faggot, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)

my colon is empty

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)

Is that an invitation?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 0:17, archived)

Not invited, as usual.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 0:20, archived)

papabendi.ytmnd.com/
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:01, archived)

And I am a banana.

(

Lord Gnome, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 0:20, archived)

heroin addiction, fuck off

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)

I'm regular as clockwork
11am everyday, come back then and you can have whatever i produce
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)

I bet you take loads of fag breaks too you fucking slacker

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)

Smokers are jokers

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)

They're the butt of the joke.

(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)

i can't go unless someone is watching

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)

what about if you can see a picture link of a man shitting in a womens mouth? i could link to that

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)

I just saw that you hate me, mongy.
I'm sorry, I never meant for you to get caught up in this crazy, bitcoin world. If it would help patch things up between us, I will send you my entire bitcoin internet wealth. Then when you're on your internet yacht drinking internet champagne maybe you'll be able to think back to this day and forgive me.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)

hey i don't hate you, it is not about britcoin anymore

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:18, archived)

I'm glad to hear it.
I don't want to see you dragged down by the tragic farce this whole cryptocurrency saga has become.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:24, archived)

I still haven't cleaned the glass coffee table from the last time.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)

why don't you switch off your television set and go take a shit

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)

you mean I can do that whenever I like?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)

Of course not, he's shitmaster and you can only have a shit when he says so.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 0:09, archived)

start a thread and don't reply to anyone
wankspanner
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)

:)
(MarkP0rter is an annoying faggot, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)

:P
backtotherobot.ytmnd.com/
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 0:12, archived)

You put enough shit on the internet for everyone, thanks.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)

I sold mine on ebay
99p plus £1.50 postage.

I'm saving up for a holiday in Surbiton.
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:24, archived)

Why don't YOU have a shit?

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)

I don't remember that episode of 'why don't you'

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:44, archived)

in fact
I just did. so i wanted to inform you you should have one as well.
(MarkP0rter is an annoying faggot, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)

Top participating.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/ee0d0a7dc532064da1b6/songofstorms.jpg
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)

*Begins humming*
*Is forced to start bailing out his room*
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 0:59, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=82NjJjhsHag
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:06, archived)

Why, thank you very much!
*helps himself to a shit*
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)

Don't fancy one thanks

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 1:11, archived)

do you remember your first time online? or the first thing you enjoyed doing online

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:48, archived)

i think my mate steve first showed me scat porn online about 12 years ago, i can provide a link to a picture

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:51, archived)

I remember it taking 45 mins to download a 3minute music track
Also, hey! I've been away for a while.
(

Posh Girl apparently, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:54, archived)

Alright Wormulus.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)

oi you do computers, you gonna help me out?

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)

Depends what you need doing.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)

to stop being a retard and understand what nearly all of it means

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)

You and me both, brother.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)

Chev

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:07, archived)

It can't be wormulus. Not even wormulus would answer his phone during a job interview, like some sort of rude cunt.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)

I don't care, I'm playing Ocarina of motherfucking Time here.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

3ds, n64 or gamecube?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)

N64 emulator.
Totally getting a 3DS when I get a job.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:11, archived)

That is exactly how a gentleman should roll.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)

Took me fucking ages to remember where the Kokiri Sword is.
Not played in over a decade.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:15, archived)

Through the tunnel by the bit that teaches you how to z-target, avoiding the boulder. Kokiri Shield is, what, 30 rupees?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:19, archived)

40.
Inflation hits everywhere, I guess.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)

Sad times :( I heard the Lon Lon Ranch went out of business and now it's just a field with a lone donkey eating the overgrown grass.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:23, archived)

The Gold Skulltulas contain no real gold.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:25, archived)

nintendo faggots, beware!

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:25, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/ee0d0a7dc532064da1b6/1308501205772.jpg
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:29, archived)

hold on, do nintendo even make consules anymore? they do those gay square pokeman wallet things for kids, gameboys or summat

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)

Malon can now be found on a street corner in downtown Hyrule.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:25, archived)

The kid in Hyrule Market that buys shit from you has died of starvation.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:30, archived)

It's got so bad that even Navi has had t-HEY! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEY! LOOK!

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:31, archived)

That reminds me,
I made this earlier.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:35, archived)

I know what's going to be waking me up tomorrow morning.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:38, archived)

I am sorry to report that I read that as guacamole
(

vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:27, archived)

only the guacamole knows the way I feel tonight
only the guacamole knows adding garlic ain't right
no need for sugar DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM, no need for lime
just avocado and salt is fine
(

vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)

It's beyond good, I pre-ordered from Game, so I has the Gold box.

(box)
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:43, archived)

Oh yeah.
Remind me, did she realise afterwards how terribly rude she had been and apologise?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:30, archived)

She never did. She's posted this and fucked off now. Probably on the phone again.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)

I'm guessing she's still a right ignorant whore.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:37, archived)

I remember planning my afternoon around downloading a Windows update

(

magnum, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)

using Napster, Morpheus and WinMX

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)

+Bearshare

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

and cleaning the PCs of people who's kids had installed Limewire

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:11, archived)

I was going to mention Limewire, Napster was awesome back in the day

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:15, archived)

Fuck off Friz.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:11, archived)

It would have been around 95/96 at a guess
I watched someone attempt to do a video call to Sweden, it didn't work. Can't remember what the first thing I did online was.
(

magnum, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)

whoa, that must have been some fancy kit tho

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:00, archived)

Yeah
the school had won some technology funding, so had about 5 computers connected to the internet.
(

magnum, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)

i was paying bt a fortune :(

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)

that takes me back, we used to have to put our mp3's in the kiln
spotify:track:2Xr9yI53TJ7k5PnQTmlEeJ (Do You Remember The First Time by Pulp)
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:56, archived)

first thing i remember was an eircom (my isp) chatroom
i was about 11 and thought it was amazing calling people rude names. not much has changed since then, including my connection speed.
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:56, archived)

i don't recall seeing you here before
sweet word japes
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:57, archived)

danke chodetron. here's a real jape
when i was new to b3ta i posted a link to the picture of the weightlifter with the prolapsed rectum (i think here on /talk), to which i got the reply "are you new to the internets".
the funny thing is, i had just got a new pc and broadband and was new to the internet, i laughed a lot, then cried.
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)

i used to fuck around on AOL, the chatrooms were most amusing
i also used the Dreamcast to check my yahoo emails, great days*

*slow and shit
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)

i then moved onto a Korn chatroom and used just typed "korn suck, fear factory rule" over and over
back when the word troll was not in use, thems where the days.

also, i always wanted shenmue, but had no dreamcast. back then it looked like the most amazing game to me.
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

I had Shenmue, it was very tedious
I wish I'd kept all my dreamcast stuff

Crazy Taxi, Chu Chu Rocket..ermm..I'm sure there's more, I remember the dowacky that went inside the control pad
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:16, archived)

crazy taxi was pretty cool for it's time
a lot of the games got released on the ps2 afterward, poor dreamcast, did worse than the saturn.
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)

it was pretty fucking nifty
i think i traded it all in for a ps2 with some gams

fuck nose
spotify:track:3m1JFLpKLYgMi1jf6Bu16P (Let Forever Be by The Chemical Brothers)
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:31, archived)

I remember downloading shit from winmx.
blink_182_leaving_on_a_jet_plane_XXX_FREE_TITS_NAKED_SEX_TAPE_mpg.exe

SEEMS LEGIT.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:58, archived)

Oh man, winmx
good times
(

magnum, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:00, archived)

Warez was a good one
I remember following about 200 CLICK THESE ADS FOR FREE GAMES links before finally getting a download for Simcity 2000
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)

i only ever downloaded gba roms on limewire

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:11, archived)

First website was in 1996 - Sky Sports (had to ask the I.T dude to unblock the site)
First time I properly started using the net was the Iron Maiden bulletin board
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)

i do
i was at uni, someone showed me netscape and webcrawler
so i looked up calvin & hobbes
then porn
(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)

Then Calvin & Hobbes porn, right?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:07, archived)

Fuck you, rule 34, fuck you.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

not at that point no
later on, naturally.
mictoboy.co.uk/gallery/Animations/calvin.gif
(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:17, archived)

I trolled the MTV2 forums when there were MTV2 forums.
Are there still MTV2 forums?
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)

Probably asking Jeeves tediously long questions.
Man, I fucking love AskJeeves.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:35, archived)

Compuserve WinCim in late 94
with a 9600 baud modem. Oh the memories.
(

djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)

I sent an email to the relatives in Australia.
I had to ask permission to do so because I did it in school as they had an awesome ISDN dial-up. Like most technology I loved the novelty of it but then the line kept dropping out and I got very bored quickly.
(

Taylorcamb, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:51, archived)

the first time I was online on my first computer (well my father's) netscape warned me: do you want to accept cookies- they might be dangerous. i was freaking the fuck out trying to figure out what a cookie is and what kind of harm it could possibly do.

also the real first time was at some shit internet cafe when the internet was just new and cool.
(MarkP0rter is an annoying faggot, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)

I'm trying to identify a type of beetle my son and I have seen a couple of times on the way to and from his school.
It looked just like this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_stink_bug but these are only supposed to exist in North America as far as I can see.
The ones we've seen have a brown tail end on top which is red tail-end underneath.
So, as you are all intelligent and helpful, can you tell us what we keep seeing?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:04, archived)

Nevermind.
Found it.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)

what flavour was it?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)

www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/wildlifegarden/atoz/g/greenshieldbug.aspx
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)

wow
There does seem to be a few weird bugs around at the moment
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3815833.stm
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)

interesting
I am choc full of painkillers right now. Might be a good time to ask for money.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)

give me money
very very much money
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)

You can use the donate button down the side of this:
baldmonkeystuff.co.uk/dear%20baldmonkey/
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:42, archived)

"said curator of beetles, Max Barclay" :)
(

vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:00, archived)

Proper job that, nice one Max
(

vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)

didn't they used to make stamps out of them?
whoever "they" were
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)

I've seen those before, they are awesome.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)

If you squeeze them they make a hissing noise
Try it
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)

where is cr3? i need him to internet me up, lazy purple haired freak boy that he is

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:28, archived)

It's a Mini Adventure!
bit of a shit one though
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)

Just like the adverts.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:12, archived)

Squinny Back-bencher more like

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSQUfTBcOu4
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)

it's a weevil

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)

Are we having a Springwatch evening?
because it's summer now, so Chris Packham doesn't give a shit about your beetle.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)

Chris Packham doesn't give a shit about any of us, what a cunt

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)

The really wild show was a lie.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)

It was really wild when Stracham got her tits out after filming and terry nutkins stuck his half digit up her chuff

(

magnum, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)

And then that guy out of Street Fighter II joined in
img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00964/SNA13PACK4-682_964961a.jpg
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:52, archived)

Is Stracham
The deformed offspring of Packham and Strachan raised in the wilderness?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)

Raised by meerkats
true story
(

magnum, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)

Yeah, but he's come on leaps and bounds, The Transporter wasn't too bad a film

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)

there are no bugs
you've taken too much Substance D
(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)

If there are no bugs then what have I been filling all these jam jars with?

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

corns

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:19, archived)

i hate you, you have sent me on a path i never cared about that has led to me being out smarted, you fucker

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:30, archived)

Are you still on this bitcoin gibberish?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:32, archived)

well it started with tor, then i2p, then he chucked in brit coin, now it appears i need privoxy to work, now i have bad socks, i'm lost in a world of cyber bollocks :(

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:34, archived)

last night I was watching telly and something small and black moved very quickly from the fridge across the kitchen floor
but it was too fast for a mouse or roach, and it didn't seem to have legs or any discernible body parts
I thought I'd imagined it but half an hour later it went back in the opposite direction.

I don't know what to make of that at all
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)

I drop bombs like King Kong, That's Kim Jong Il, but I ain't ill, I'm sick with a wit that don't quit 'cus I just gotta do it.
And I'm outta here, PEACE.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)

*applauds*

(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:28, archived)

I want to hear more about Binky's den.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:32, archived)

it was rubbish
compared to mine.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:37, archived)

Four hours wasn't nearly long enough to fully appreciate it.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:41, archived)

like fuck

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)

king kong dropped bombs?

(

FIEND, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:43, archived)

The tennis coverage made me giggle
when someone in the crowd shouted "Come on the other guy!" during the Andy Murray game.
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:44, archived)

I approve of tennis heckling.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)

A member of the audience also tried to keep a ball that had gone into the crowd
but an official made her give it back.
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)

I liked it when they shouted "Come on Tim!" at Murray matches a few years ago
It proper wound him up
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)

I keep thinking of ironicalically shouting that
each time Tim Ambrose (warkwickshire / ex-england wicket keeper) gets out and slowly trudges off the field at t'cricket.

But I don't.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)

Nice word
Especially as you meant sarcastically
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)

It's OK. He's definitely going to win this year
The Sun said so.
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)

Looks like Paul next door has carked it
There are blokes in black suits milling about and the curtains are shut. Does this mean I can keep the ladder he leant me?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:51, archived)

Yes

(

magnum, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)

YAY
What's the price of scrap aluminium these days?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:59, archived)

Never mind that
clear your gutters
(

magnum, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:59, archived)

Heartless fiend!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)

I think it gives you the right to break in to his house
and steal the money from his mattress before the relatives find it. I mean, he was your neighbour, they didn't care about him like you did. He lent you a ladder, that's true love.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)

only if he didn't specify it in his will
"... and to my brother I bequeath the ladder I lent to Bogus"
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)

Do you want the ladder of a dead man?
What did he / may he have died of? Aids?? You want an aids ladder on your conscience?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)

Kidney infection
I'm not sure that's too contagious or owt. I'd make a move on his vulnerable missus, but she's a mong and about 70.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)

kidney aids??!?!?!

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:58, archived)

True fact here
He went in with a fucked leg, they sent him home all infected, now it looks like he's dead. NHS run by Poles and Pakis, that's what it is.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)

well that's what the daily heil said i guess.

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)

I have porn that belonged to a dead man
But that's a story for another time
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:02, archived)

I'm chiilin like Matt Dillon on Penicillin

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:00, archived)

I BUILT A GREAT BIG DEN LAST NIGHT
in my living room. all the cushions and blankets, with a sheet slung over 2 chairs, the sideboard, the sofa, and a massive tellybox. it was ace. i lolled about in it for ages. you couldn't better it if you tried.
(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:34, archived)

What if I don't want to try?
Have you thought of that, Ms Binkleton?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:35, archived)

the reason you don't want to is probably because you are so disheartened by my massive success.
my fort had children's stories and then adult entertainment.
(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:42, archived)

*ok, wine.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:42, archived)

I'm chosing to believe you had a massive lez off in your den
Probably with that bird off Countdown.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:11, archived)

Which one?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:35, archived)

Gyles Brandreth

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)

pffft
(

vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)

His soothing voice calms all.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:41, archived)

no it is like getting chewing gum made of smugness stuck to your eardrums, ban giles brandreth
(

vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:42, archived)

Ban vladimir, more like.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:00, archived)

you make a strong point, however,
1.)
2.)
(

vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:07, archived)

haha that's not a bird, that's a man!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:52, archived)

The one that doesn't look like a librarian on the blob

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:45, archived)

like you wouldnt

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:53, archived)

I'm a lot more discerning than I let on

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:06, archived)

I have no need for dens
I have a slanket and a massive sofa.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:39, archived)

What's a slanket when it's at home?

(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:41, archived)

sleeved blanket.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:41, archived)

It's got a pocket on the front
so you can pretend to be a kangaroo.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:43, archived)

Cor.
I would like one of those.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:43, archived)

i like the idea of its comfort but then i think it would be tremendously unsexy on me.
i like being naked under a proper blanket HEHEHE and noone knows except me.
(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:46, archived)

They get staticky as all hell.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:54, archived)

You fucking homo.
Put a jumper on.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:09, archived)

That's rubbish
I've got a slofa.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:47, archived)

Shut up dolphin nonce

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:52, archived)

as previously stated the cetacean was 22.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:22, archived)

well i have
a ~~slag~~ ~~slut~~ ~~slausage~~ ~~slaughterhouse~~ sleeping bag.
(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:00, archived)

limited
that is all.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:40, archived)

maybe
but very very comfy
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:43, archived)

FUCKING YES ON A FUCKING SEESAW.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:41, archived)

MY HOUSE IS MADE OF CUSHIONS AND BLANKETS
and lovely warm things. It let's the rain in, I hate it.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:16, archived)

so you learnt nothing from the straw episode then

(

vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)

straw can make a good waterproof roof, if temporary.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:33, archived)

actually its used for thatching isnt it.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:34, archived)

windy pig needs to prioritise wolfproofing over waterproofing, especially with the unfortunate flatulence issue, please consider this when offering him suggestions
(

vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:41, archived)

oh jesus i did not read his name, sorry WP.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:42, archived)

you'll be sorry when i get eaten by a wolf
Thanks to your cockamamie suggestions.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)

i'll admit
I didn't really think it through.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)

No chance
The ONE good thing about modular furniture... Kickass camps. Gone now, but the kids (including me...) loved it, so so so good for camps. Blankets not required.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)

surely all non-fitted furniture is modular?
and i contest that you need the element of multi-materials to build an effectively satisfying den, fort or camp indoors.
(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:42, archived)

I don't have nearly enough pillows to pull that off
I mean I have like 5 pillows but you'd need at least 10 for it to be proper awesome
(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:40, archived)

yeah i had beanbag, sheep-fleece, thick furry blanket, one oversized cushion, standard cushions x 6, pillows x 5, massive hippy sheet overhead,

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:44, archived)

oh and i put some camping mats down underneath it all

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:44, archived)

our cushions are attatched to the sofa, plus they're faux leather and brown
not at all appealing to the senses
(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)

A polite reminder:
'No communiqués are allowed in or out of the 'Girls not allowed' den'

An impolite reminder: 'Nyah nyah girls smell and aren't allowed HAHAHA'

--MESSAGE ENDS--
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:06, archived)

anybody help me with tech support with privoxy?

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:14, archived)

I don't think anyone's here
except me and you, and I don't even know what a privoxy is.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:21, archived)

nor do i, this is why i need help, i get a socks error, so i assume my privoxy isn't configured and i cant view
504 Connect to 6sxoyfb3h2nvok2d.onion:80 failed: SOCKS error: host unreachable

The following error occurred while trying to access 6sxoyfb3h2nvok2d.onion/tor/SocatHelp:

504 Connect to 6sxoyfb3h2nvok2d.onion:80 failed: SOCKS error: host unreachable
(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:24, archived)

have you tried hitting it like the fonz does?
That's all I got.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:26, archived)

i'd like to know why it is having a go at my socks first off, fuck it, i'll install i2p, i dont understand that either, what could go wrong

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:28, archived)

are you wearing odd socks?
that's probably it.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:30, archived)

what if i take my socks off? where are all the nerds when you need them, i'm spending far too much time trying to learn stuff i really dont understand :(

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:32, archived)

i'm gonna go down the library, get an idiots guide to nerding
learn it all, then get back to you. I do hope you're not in a hurry because my library doesn't open on Thursdays, and it's way too late now.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:34, archived)

no rush at all, to be honest i'm only doing it out of boredom, i'm sure before long i will infect my pc with something nasty, lulz

(

mongychops, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:36, archived)

So, I have just spent a large amount of cash on an engagment ring for Unstable-Girlfriend
I am/was planning on taking her to Greece for her birthday (Oct 6th!) and proposing at sunset at the Acropolis!
But it seems there won't be much left of Athens with all the riots by then.
How else could I propose in a romantic yet not overly grand way (i.e. not in front of a crowd).

alt question, why do sweets/chocolate not taste as good as they used to?
I swear Smarties have completely altered their taste, and it makes me do a sad.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)

Don't bother.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:55, archived)

A fine suggestion, yet perhaps not quite what I was after.

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)

I dun a better one innit

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)

you DUN! ta!

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:02, archived)

how about by way of discussion on the way back from the pub?

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)

just sort of drop it into the conversation?
'Best put the bins out when we get back, did you feed the cat? Will you marry me or what?'
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

then ask for a sex.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

If I have to ask after she sees the ring I've bought, then it's going fucking back :)

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

your tastes change as you mature. kids like more acidic sweets than adults, for some reason.
also, people change recipes for the convenience/price.
(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

yeah but I fucking used to LOVE smarties, and the change has only been recent.
Companies are making my sweets smaller too.
BASTARDS.
DO SOMETHING Binky!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

IT'S YOU GETTING BIGGER.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

IM 33! I 'm fairly sure I have stopped growing.

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)

not when you eat all those sweets BDUM TISH

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)

waaah waaaah waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)

Someone has ruined skittles too. Those blue ones taste filthy.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:44, archived)

Put the ring up your bum and fart it into her face.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

wait, can i retract mine and vote for this one?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

oh man, someone already done a bum one

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:16, archived)

Yours is more of a poo one.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:38, archived)

I suggest putting at the end of a really tough obstacle course
with swinging axes and live ammo. If she doesn't make it through, she wasn't worth it.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

marvellous
she is a fiery red-head, so it's just the sort of challenge she will accept!
I wonder if I can hire and amend the Wipeout course?
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

take the household white goods apart and spell it out in the road with the bits, then make her look out the window and read it.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

Binky, you are probably the only reason I come back to this place day after day!
I might use her straighteners and other stuff though, the white goods are used too often for me to take apart.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)

OMG IS IT ME AM I THE LUCKLY LADY?

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)

imma have to say no, anyway, soz.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)

awwwwwww, well, at least that's some preparation in case i get rejected for real.

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

oh you think i don't mean it?

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

I know you mean it, Im just in denial

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:05, archived)

Turns out, after the argument you can buy a new one.
Even if you can't quite afford it.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)

lol plenty of time for her to leave you by then

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)

Verona. The "Juliet's Balcony".
There's this thing there where you write a love note and stick it up somewhere in the courtyard. On the wall, the tree, statue whatever. It's a sort of tradition. The place is covered in them. On our wedding day Wife and I wrote each other one and then swapped them before hanging them on the tree.

Write her a proposal before you go. Put it in an envelope with the ring. Give it to her there. She put's the ring on, you stick the note up for other people to go "Awwwww..." at, you go for a nice meal at any one of the many fantastic resturants, you have a lovely time and bid farewell to your sex life.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)

fucking hell, thats a coherent post, by YOU! today is a day gone topsy turvy.
I was with you right up until 'bid farewell'
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:02, archived)

It comes and goes. Soz.
Wibble.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:04, archived)

fnarf
s'ok
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:06, archived)

Romance fail
Take her to the Kashmir in Bradford, if it all goes tits up you'll have had a top feed for less than a tenner at least.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

haha 'the kashmir in Bradford' is slang for bumsex isnt it?

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:04, archived)

Yes
No
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

Propose after a few pints
and when she doesn't say yes straight away, sulk until she does.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:06, archived)

haha, I like this a bit too much.

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)

It's what I did.
It wasn't a proper propsal granted but I asked Double F and he didn't give me a response for about three days. I sulked.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:11, archived)

aren't you worried he proposed to every other woman he met in those three days then just gave up?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)

Go anyway
There will be lots of places that won't have rioting Greeks, perhaps on the coast?
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:08, archived)

I wanted to go to Athens though!!
*crosses arms, wibbles bottom lip*
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:11, archived)

Don't go
It's too hot for a start. You'll be sweating like a pig after you've climbed to the top.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

I dunno
Don't bake it in a cake though. She might eat it by accident and then you'd have to wait for it to come out the other end.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:09, archived)

gross, I miss BOB TODD at times like thess

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)

poo in bags so it doesn't get flushed, that's my sage advice.
hi spanga.
(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)

Hi binkles.
How's things? x
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)

pretty shit, see below, my car and this other car had a special kiss.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

The other car asked your car to do that special thing it's always wanted and eventually it got your car really drunk and your car said oh god yes anything to shut you up about it and then the other car wasn't a caring and considerate lover and didn't even use the sandy lube and now your car can't sit down for a week?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)

i think maybe several weeks. i'm basically screwed.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)

smash her tooth out and make her put it under her pillow.
then when she's asleep, replace it with the ring, dress up as the tooth fairy and look hopeful.
(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:11, archived)

HAHAHA WIN!
although, spousal(?) abuse is not funny kids!!
'looking hopeful' in a tutu and fairy wings, how could she resist?
especially after I've twatted her in the face.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

ok sedate her and painlessly extract it, gently mind.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:16, archived)

swallow the ring,
then propose when she spots it glinting in what you spray over the glass coffee table the next day
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)

If you really want to turn a relationship into a hollow web of public pretensions
then bury a bottle of champagne at the beach with a fishing line coming from it to a stone. Go for a walk, "find" the stone, pull the line and haul in the champagne from the water or sand. As she squeals in shock, ask her to marry you, then crack open the champagne and get blotto alone when she says no.

remind her that you got this idea from the internet because you're too emotionally impoverished to think up your own romance.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:16, archived)

aw that's sooo cwute.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

My mate did it, on my recommendation
when she gushed "oh, you're so romantic!" he laughed "yeah, it was Grrr's idea." She sulked for days.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

what if while you're gone the fishing line garrottes a seal, and you pull and you pull and it breaks and a rotting seals head comes flying out of the surf and kills your girlfriend?
can you just put the ring on her finger and say she said yes anyway?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:19, archived)

or if someone else has found it and replaced the champagne with her dead pet rabbit?

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

I would have to be following them quite closely for that

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:33, archived)

Get an old smarties tube (with the plastic cap) no more nails the ring to the inside of the lid and pop it back on.
then slam down on the tube so the lid-ring hurtles off with a pop and smacks her in the eye while you scream "YOU ARE UGLY. I'M NOT RICH. MARRY ME, YOU FUCKING BITCH."
You get 10 bonus Mariage-Points if you take her eye out, putting you in the lead before you even get wedded up.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:17, archived)

Grow her a marrow.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:19, archived)

My thoughts immediately went to marrows being put up naughty places
Alright, who's hacked me this time?
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

Fuck off.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

I'm sorry
Wibblewibblewibblelololol etc.
Do you understand now?
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:28, archived)

write a little treasure hunt for her around various web forums, with messages showing dates/times and urls
until she is led to this thread. then jump out from behind the sofa, naked apart from the ring hanging loosely on your tiny, shrivelled semi.
(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:21, archived)

some sort of elaborate and romantic treasure hunt
involving places you've been together and had romantic times. Then at the end, have some sort of midget holding the ring on a pillow. Then she'll definitely do anal with you. while the midget watches.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

I've always thought that midgets give any form of entertainment that 'wow' factor.
See: Live TV Bouncing Weather et al.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:26, archived)

This is EXACTLY the same as Binky's one.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)

hurhur up HIS bum.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:30, archived)

"bum" hur hiur hur huck huck

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:32, archived)

Go to Rome instead
you can propose anywhere it's all quite nice. You could also possibly demand that she win a gladiator fight before you'll actually marry her
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:26, archived)

Use a tiny stencil to jizz "MARRY ME" straight into her eye.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:28, archived)

Remember to hold the stencil back to front
or she won't be able to read it.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:30, archived)

Hide the ring up her vagina when she's asleep.
Then disguise yourself as a gynaecologist and arrange for her to come in for a smear test. When you examine her say "there appears to be a growth' in a worried voice and when she starts sobbing because she thinks she has cancer you can pull out the ring and propose.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)

Oh sweet baby jesus

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:39, archived)

Fill a balloon with her farts. Inhale it all in one go.
Numb your lips with ice and then shout "up my wife hanger" into her cunt.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:38, archived)

This is legally binding.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)

I agree
Baldmonkey for Attorney-General
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)

Get a friend to call her up to say you're in hospital after a horrible accident.
When she's gets to the hospital, another friend (dressed as a doctor) leads her to your room. Lie there, with the duvet over your head and lay perfectly still. The doctor then asks her to confirm the identity of the body. As he peel the duvet back, reveal you with a rose between your teeth. Leap up and kneel, proposing to her there and then. Then all the other doctors and patients get up and do a choreographed dance sequence for about 15 minutes.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

Then actually die, for the ironic lolz

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

actual tears of mirth!
I cant see it going terribly well, but this is powering to the top of my likely scenarios!
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:41, archived)

Get your mum to propose to her for you.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:15, archived)

my mum is dead!

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:41, archived)

whats the fucking point? have you got literally nothing better to spend the money on?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:17, archived)

Yes.
I also feel inadequate because I couldn't afford an expensive ring for my wife.
Still, now that the sex has dried up, I'm thankful I didn't piss a penny more away on it.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

the unfortunate thing
Is that you don't realise how pointless marriage is until you do it. Unless its for religious reasons of course.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)

You're a religious reason
Or something
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)

I am, there's no denying it

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)

Give me her name and address and I'll do it for you.
I'll make her an offer she can't refuse.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)

~~refuse~~ understand
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)

Propose round the back of Abbey National whilst you're hanging out the back of her after the pub closes

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)

Take her on a weekend break
to deepest, darkest Wales. Find a suitably secluded spot with amazing natural beauty. Propose. Make sure you have the car keys in your other pocket, so that if she says no, she'll have a hell of a walk before she gets to a point with enough passers-by to hitch-hike and a hell of a hitch-hike before she gets to anywhere that has a mobile phone signal.
(

Batsgirl, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

or just take the opportunity to murder her and defile her corpse

(likeajackhammer, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)

this is going to be my answer to any marital dispute

(likeajackhammer, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)

My other half likes yachts and sailing...
I thought I'd put the ring at the bottom of a bottle of champagne... and then smash it over her head
(likeajackhammer, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:26, archived)

Heh.

(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:39, archived)

I asked my mrs at a really freaking old stone circle in the Outer Hebrides
I wanted to reduce the chance of their being anyone around.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:50, archived)

SORRY I WASN'T HERE ALL MORNING.
I'VE BEEN BUSY.
bOiNg BoInG bOiNg
Who wants to come to my house to make a great song with me? Or perhaps a cover version of "Son of a Preacher Man"?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:51, archived)

oh fucking hell, SORRY Balders!!

(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:54, archived)

It's okay.
Everything is okay.
I'm not popular anymore, either. So it doesn't matter.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)

Jesus. MTFU Balders.
I lurk a lot here, and pop my head up every so often, and this place is almost unrecognisable from even 6 months ago, which is sad, but I do often have a chuckle at your posts, even the completely bollocks ones like that fresh plug in thing you were doing.
My liking your posts may not make you popular, but don't fucking change man.Not for the moaning piss miserable fuckers on here.
*certain people only-NOT an attack on the whole of /Talk*
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:09, archived)

SEXUALLY ACTIVE etc.
What upsets me the most is that the majority of people here are too stupid to understand the whole "sexually active fresh glade plug in" thing. Bring back Newington.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)

TITS!
lol
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:19, archived)

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