b3ta.com talk

Home » Talk » Archive 12841 (Older | Newer)

Hello internet
I had a spontaneous day off work today. I put it to good use watching A Serbian Film. I feel dirty :( I strongly suspect though that had I not read the wiki synopsis first I'd be a gibbering wreck.

How are you?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)

I'm well, Blue Star, I really am.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:22, archived)

Hooray.
I had to have today off to catch up on some sleep.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)

Tremendous, of course.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)

WONDERFUL

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)

That too.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:24, archived)

a little tired really
I was in a right grump this morning but I put that aside as I was involved in conducting interviews. I'm looking forward to my week off in july.

What aftershave smells nice?
(

MrA, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:24, archived)

Cool Water an Issey Miyake
I like those ones.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)

cheers Mrs Star

(

MrA, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)

I thought you'd prefere Eau ld'Man, The Stench of Senility.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)

Eau de Putain.
Pour homme.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)

In Soviet Russia shave afters you

(

magnum, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)

Paul Smith
and in terms of cologne Platinum Egoiste. Or you could just go for Blue Star's excellent suggestion of Issey Miyake
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)

Thank you!
I might have to have a look, I dont really like shopping for this kinda of stuff.
(

MrA, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)

branston pickle
(sandwich smooth)
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)

would match my cheesy crotch
fun for all the family!
(

MrA, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:43, archived)

Carolina Herrera 'for men' is really nice if you like mens classic Issey
NOT, repeat NOT 212 that you can buy everywhere. No, that's horrid

this: www.fragrancex.com/products/_cid_cologne-am-lid_C-am-pid_36M__products.html
in fact
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:40, archived)

surprisingly sleepy
I don't want to watch that film, as I'm probably a wuss. Did your office burn down?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:24, archived)

I had a heavy weekend.
Ended up sleeping in a chair on Saturday night.

Like Martyrs, I can't say I enjoyed it but it really had an effect on me. Not as much as Martyrs did though because I hadn't a clue what Martyrs was about...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)

martyrs shit me up.
Also had a hard weekend but I was having fun.

I finally got round to watching human centipede and was dissapointed. As a fellow lover of Shit scary films can you reccomend something I probably won't have seen?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)

Martyrs fucked me up for months on end...
Taxidermia is really REALLY shit. I wouldn't waste my time even downloading it. Not really a horror film but Suvive Style 5+ is MEGA.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)

cool, thanks
I'm not sure I could watch a film like martyr again.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)

Ooooh
Tucker and Dale Vs Evil is fucking great.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:44, archived)

What about nice films?
Why can't people watch nice films.
(

magnum, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:46, archived)

I do watch nice films sometimes.
My favourite is Singin' In the Rain. True fact.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)

Mine too....
:-)
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)

TAH TAY TEE TOW TOO

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)

And I cayn't stand'im.

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

If you MUST wear fox to the opera
Dame fashion says dye it
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)

Cosmo, call me a cab.
Ok! You're a cab.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)

I can assure you that the cake was meant for Miss Lamont

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)

Well of course we taylk
don't everybody?
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

I am glorious thank you
more than glorious infact. Gloritasticabulous.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)

Good news.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)

Not bad thanks
I revised for the wrong exam, but still managed to do it.
Don't think I could watch A Serbian Film, just a bit too extreme for me
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)

I started reading the synopsis and decided 'I'm not even going to finish reading the synopsis, never mind watch the film'.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)

Pretty much that
read the synopsis and it was made worse by the earnestness of the director.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)

It's the kind of film
I think I want to watch. Then do. Then wish I hadn't.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)

I know my limits
I stopped watching Saw after the third one
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)

Oh bless you.
I stopped watching the Saw films too, but only because they were rubbish.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)

Torture-porn makes me uncomfortable,
these days anyway. I used to be able to watch it quite happily. I've heard Saw's got pretty shit. The bonus thing about them was they usually managed to cover at least one fear of everybody watching
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)

I enjoyed that kind of thing when I was younger
but then most of it was really dark stuff that was really gruesome. Or Troma which was funny. The 'hostel' and 'saw' type stuff I think is just lazy film making.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)

i agree
But there are some top horror films out there that do more than just shock and disgust. Saw is not in that list
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:49, archived)

serbian film does more than shock and disgust, it questions human nature, and meh fuck it i cant be arsed

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

i'm sure you're right
I love good horror, but I'm not sure I can handle it from the synopsis. I might have built it up too much in my mind
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)

I much prefer scary...
horror that is horrific in a 'I'm so scared' way is the best.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)

BOO!

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)

*jumps*
*spills drink*
For fucks sake Aardy...
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:59, archived)

You're going to claim all this mess was from you "spilling your drink", are you?

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)

*ahem*
YES! You can't prove otherwise.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:03, archived)

Aardvark makes all women so damp they appear to have spilled drinks.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:05, archived)

It must cost your mum a fortune
in laundry bills.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)

this
I want to be scared to go upstairs on my own in the dark after the film
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)

Nightmare On Elm Street still does that to me

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:58, archived)

wait till someone drugs you and you end up fucking a stillborn baby in your upstairs bedroom in a flashback whilst you sit downstairs sobbing into your cornflakes but not really knowing why till the horror returns to your memory

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:04, archived)

Will that be happening soon?
I have stuff to do...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)

steady on, i'm a bit busy at the moment, i'm surprised at you, i'm having a hard time of it

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:13, archived)

I'm ashamed to say Jeepers Creepers did that to me
when I was about 15. Mostly because I was on my own in a dark room sitting on a table not a chair and something came and nuzzled my leg. It was the cat but I still screamed a bit.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:05, archived)

We went to the pictures to see that.
I liked it until you discovered it was a fucking demon. Then I hated it.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)

Watch Dario Argento filums.
If you not seen them before. They scare the pants off me and are incredibly cheesy.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:10, archived)

If you read the synopsis,
it's not as bad watching it cos you know whats coming....it's still fucking gruesome though.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)

never mind
what exams are you doing? Is it a-level time?
(

MrA, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)

my degree Finals
I got two papers mixed up- same subject but different approaches. Misread.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)

Oh err
Hope it was alright though. So glad I don't have to do them any more. Miss lots from academia though.
(

MrA, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)

Thanks I'm sure it'll be fine

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)

alright Blue Star
I'm not bad thanks, and have just remembered that a) men who believe in the Ladder Theory are laughable pricks and b) men who believe in the Ladder Theory and make vast, self-indulgent Wordpress posts about it are really laughable pricks.

Also c) I am probably going to get banned from Wordpress before too long.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)

I don't even own An Ladder.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)

My theory about ladders is that they're sideways when you stand them up, and correctly oriented when lying down.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)

AARDVARK HAS BEST LADDER THEORY

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)

Keep on keeping on

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)

I just looked that up
"The ladder theory is a funny, scientific explanation of how men and women are attracted to each other. It also covers such topics as why women sometimes just want to be friends but men always want sex."
Now, I'm not one for sweeping generalisations, but stuff like this is always shite. I know lots of women I don't want to have sex with.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)

That reminds me, we were talking about A*****c T* C***y earlier on.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)

lol wut

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:43, archived)

What it is right,
the term "ladder theory" is an Anglicised form of the Connaught Irish phrase "laodhár tíorigh", which roughly translates as "it's all women's fault I'm a whiny, self-hating prick with delusions of adequacy".
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)

Is this about that guy that was trying to knob your girlfriend again?

(

magnum, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7216003
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)

Tell me of this "science" Earthman

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)

That's all you need to know.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)

*chin stroke*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)

Stop stroking my chin.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:52, archived)

This whole site is a car crash. If car crashes smelt of frustration and incompetence.
www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/26/ladder-theory/
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)

I'm not going to read that shit
On account I might catch virginity off it
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:04, archived)

The comments are the best (worst) bit.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:04, archived)

That's just depressing
and every one of the losers on it will wonder why women fuck them over so badly
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)

~~women~~ people will always
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)

it appears to be pure, unrefined idiocy

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

Good god.
people take it seriously?
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)

probably the same people
who think playing 'the game' is a good idea
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)

I was properly ill and off work a few weeks ago
still not back on top form yet.

I don't like films like that, I'd rather watch Jurassic Park
(

magnum, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)

You're still not right?
God, you must've had a right bad dose.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)

I'm up and about and eating and that (was after a few days)
just not quite fighting fit. I should try and get healthy i suppose. Never used to get ill (at school I had a couple of 100% year attendance certificates)
(

magnum, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)

I woke up hungover and still feel like shit.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)

YAY

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)

Poorly, Blue Star.
I went in to work for a meeting which I wish I hadn't bothered with and came home around 2pm. Might have the day off tomorrow.
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)

Boo :(
Get well soon
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)

Thank you.

(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:25, archived)

I'm cool Blooster
Still being "ill" but with added cider. My missus didn't believe the giant prawn double parade shenanigan.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)

Hahaha.
Fucking hell. That bakerman was right scary
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)

Black polo dude

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)

Hahaha.
Racism plain and simple.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:43, archived)

Scientific proof if proof were needed that lesbians hate black people

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)

Incredible. I'm having an incredible year.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL2Bgj-za5k
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)

I'm friday, nice to meet you thursday

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)

*weekday FIVES*

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)

i think i've seen that about 7 times now, i'm ok, dunno tho, it is all up in the air here

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:44, archived)

Seven times?
Wowsers.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)

Fucking poof.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)

oi badger my nan still aint dead, what is the crack with you medical cunts eh, i feel let down now

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:01, archived)

Make an official complaint.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:05, archived)

i will do, not for me, but that poor boy had to come out to do the last rights for fuck all yet, she has probably sinned by now

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

people seem to want to watch it, dunno why, it's alright, usual stuff tho aint it, man gets dragged out of retirement for one big score and ends up getting more than he bargined for

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)

sounds tame when put like that

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)

bit of revenge stuff in there, bit of old love, usual shit, just set around a country coming out of a horrific period with people whose moral senses are wonky, it aint that bad

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:58, archived)

Should watch the documentary about the Serbian porn industry- "Made in Serbia"- with it.
Gives it some interesting context.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)

will do, i like porn

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 21:15, archived)

great thanks gorjus

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

Great fortune!
^_^
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:57, archived)

I'm not

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)

yeah we've really shown clairebare, ha

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)

Archery!

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)

I'm poorly kewpie
:(
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)

me too
by dose in all bunged up

Been sniffing sitting next to some lass in marketing, Sasha or Saskia or something... I was apparently annoying her for quite a while... "Are you not well? Would you like a tissue" hint hint...
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)

oh yeah
sup?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)

Get a nasal spray
just to annoy her even more.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)

my wife
got addicted to them. No shit.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)

Addicted? I can't use them
makes me baulk, I cant do eye drops either.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)

or how about an inhaler
for proper internet autism ;)
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)

I use two Vicks inhalers at the same time for the ultimate high

(

moohalaa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)

You feel like a eucalyptus scented GOD

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)

try sneezing all over your desk
Then she'll be yours.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)

No thanks
She said good things about Razorlight.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)

What the shuddering fuck
is there to say about Razorlight that is 'good' apart from 'oh did you see all of Razorlight died in a plane crash this morning'?
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)

I was sitting behind a guy at the theatre on Friday night
he kept sniffing and then wiping his nose up his forearm
(

magnum, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)

I had to deal with a marketing consultant today.
I was not impressed. She was all "there's no pretty pictures" and "we need customer buy-in" and "we need to draw customers in".

We don't, we're an NHS trust with geographically defined boundaries. People use us because they live in our catchment area.
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:17, archived)

aren't you being scrapped??
And the trust?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)

No. We're a new type of NHS trust,
we've just become five or six times bigger thanks to takeovers of local services and I'm not going to be scrapped because I'm brilliant.
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)

There was a leaflet put around a uni in the states about knob rot and getting tested for it and they didn't get much take up. However, next year they put a map on the leaflet and loads of people turned up.

Something like that, I probably nicked that from Freakonimics or a similar book
(

magnum, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:22, archived)

There's a google map
with an overlay defining our different divisions which I was rather proud of. Nobody's mentioned that though.

The site is simple and plain. It makes it easy to get information you're looking for and has pretty good accessibility shit built in. I thought that better than having a bells and whistles thing that people aren't going to be able to use.
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)

As I tell our designers
It's the size of the button, not the shape of it.
(

magnum, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)

S'up Jammy?

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)

Got a throaty thing herby.
It's not making me cough but it feels scratchy all the time, which is a tad annoying. I'm also full of snot and feel a bit shit.
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)

Lockets, and hot tea
or bugger that and go for the whisky.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)

I'm not buying whisky
I'll sit and drink it all. I've been on tea and lempsip (not in the same glass).
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)

*sends emergency get well lotion*
Rub it on your brow for maximum healing power.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:24, archived)

~~brow~~ scrotum
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:43, archived)

Are you volunteering to apply it for me?

(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

that snot what I heard.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)

you look it

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:58, archived)

you're not really anything, are you

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:01, archived)

I'm getting there
Thinking about making a b3ta android app cos it's shit on my phone. Worth bothering with?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)

Everybody would love you, except for people.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:12, archived)

me and people don't mix
so that's OK.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)

Prove it.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)

Well I am!
So there!
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:04, archived)

someone has to be. Such a burden to shoulder.

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)

slime snot more like

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:04, archived)

Only another hour and a half to go to beat mortal wombat's record this morning! Go clairebare!
O shit I'm so sorry
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:44, archived)

If you're going to join the likes of lightguy and glued eel, you're going to have to learn not to break character. You aren't allowed to start new threads any more.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)

I have no character, there is nothing to break
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)

STILL ON TOP AFTER TWO HOURS, THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT SHOULD BE! BOW TO ME MORTALS
I've got a photoshop problem, I can't seem to stop drawing cocks on everything.

Actually my actual problem is I've made invitations using different fonts but when I print it it's not clear and sharp.

Would this be because
1. I made the image at standard size then shrunk it to A6
2. Because I used free fonts from the internet
3. Because I'm a photoshop noob and was never going to get anywhere in the first place
4. ..........
5. profit?
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:27, archived)

Oh right
You turn up after all this time when YOU want something.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:31, archived)

i have been flitting about occasionally
but it's generally really late at night while bored at work

PROMISE!
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:32, archived)

there's no-one here to annoy anyway it seems
except you
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:33, archived)

I'm too lazy to be annoyed
How's that whole having a life not on the internet thing?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:37, archived)

It's busy!
I find it a bit sad that it's so slow and quiet here now, Like i say i do pop in every now and then and I see some of the old faces still pop in too but it's certainly not- take the skin off your fingers you've to to reply so fast- anymore

I missed this place like I miss nicotine every time i give up when i stopped coming here.
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:42, archived)

The autisms scare the spastics away before any good fun can be had these days
I only come here because there are still some fat lasses on the internet I haven't had a disappointing sexual encounter with. Unbelievable, I know.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:45, archived)

I Like This!

(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:09, archived)

can i have your afters?
i'm kinda bored.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:17, archived)

Yeah, I've got a few numbers you can have
Sort of stuff you wouldn't want to tell your mates about, but you know, ports and storms and that.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:21, archived)

oh ok maybe not then i'm not so completely out of options as all that you know

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:23, archived)

You ungrateful shit :(

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)

i dunno, i can't just take everything everyone tries to give me,
i ain't got room for no fatties.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)

when you say ports and storms
do you mean Truckers cafes and laybys?
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:27, archived)

For the most part, yes.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)

when you reduce images, you can lose definition depending on how you did it
I'd suggest printing them at normal size, then putting them through the washing machine several times, allowing the invitations to shrink naturally
(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:35, archived)

save time, post the invitation to everyone on facebook, I understand that's the modern way of doing things
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:36, archived)

I was thinking of doing that!
but you've got to maintain some class haven't you?
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:42, archived)

not in my experience
admittedly this may be what I am doing wrong
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:45, archived)

Print them on A3, then tell people to read them through the bottom of a pint glass

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:36, archived)

id guess that
You resized the image rather than the canvas or something ..don't make the image smaller on the file just print it smaller.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:41, archived)

i did image resize not canvas resize
might this be the problem?
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:43, archived)

like tooooootally
The image size relates to the number of pixels in it whereas the canvas size uses the doing to say how many pixels to squash in to a given printed area. Ish.

Undo until its big again and change the canvas.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:50, archived)

amazing!
big kisses (XXX) and 6 gold stars. ******
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:57, archived)

Actually canvas resize changes the dimensions (heigh, width, pixel depth) of the canvas
whilst leaving the image as it was (so if you reduce the size of the canvas you'll lose some of the image off the edge).

Image resize changes the dimensions of the image as a whole, so if you reduce the size of the image the canvas and image are reduced.

What Clairebare needs to do is reduce the Image size and in the same dialogue box increase the pixel depth (dpi). You want 300 or 600.

If you print from within photoshop's print prview you should be able to resize the image in that and have it print properly (or as well as it would if you resized the image).

If it still looks crap you're a photoshop n00b.
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:16, archived)

i know I know
I was typing it on my phone and it took forever.

I think as this page is so big it is soooo painful to use on an android phone
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:24, archived)

Same on any mobile device,
it's too big. There should be a mobile version that does one thread at a time.
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)

once i increase the dpi can i save as a jpeg
to be professionally printed?
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:31, archived)

I wouldn't.
I'd save as a tif. Bigger file size but better quality.
(

CowJam, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:33, archived)

you're brill
I'll let you know how it goes (if you're interested)
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)

I can't help but to think that if I was a starving african without water and in that really horrific situation, the last thing I would do is breed.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, everyone has the right too, I just would make the choice not too.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:42, archived)

pardon?

(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:44, archived)

Oh sorry, I couldn't really help you so I came up with what I was thinking while watching the telly.
The advert for the starving african kids came on, and I thought, why are they having so many kids when the kid's life is practaclly gaurnteed to be a long hard tourment.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:47, archived)

but what if there was a test your mum could have taken that would have shown your illness, would it have been resonable for her to abort you because of the illness?

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:51, archived)

My situation is entirely different to a starving african, not even close.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:55, archived)

but your situation is irrelevant to the point, which is, kind of, I would think, is it OK to pre-judge the quality of life a human is likely to have based on certain assumptions, and as a result of that, decide they shouldn't exist?
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:58, archived)

the medical resources being used up by gonz could probably have saved 10's if not hundreds of african children and created a more equal world, probably

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:02, archived)

I feel in no position to judge who deserves what, mc, I think we need to crowdsource an answer to this one asap, I'll throw this one open to the board now
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:05, archived)

Kill gonz.
Save Africans.

Sorry gonz. It's the pragmatic solution.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:21, archived)

Well, personally, I don't see any point in having a life that is filled with nothing but an excrusiating pain.
Sure, there is always hope, there is a chance they could end up in not such a bad situation, but that happens to thousands out of millions.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:07, archived)

I don't think anyone should be allowed to breed without my express permission

(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:12, archived)

I'm planning to next year
have i got time to get my application in?
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:14, archived)

I think you're better off using a penis.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:26, archived)

I'd like to make some comparisons between the logic of your argument
and the ideas and practices of Hitler and Mao but given your heritage it would seem even more inappropriate than usual so I'll just say this: you are unequivocally wrong about this.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:25, archived)

Yeah, we need a good supply of cheap third-world labour.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:33, archived)

No, there are two very different things. I'm also not enforcing it or proposing to enforce it on anyone.
I'm purely thinking about the quality of life, or lack of it.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:33, archived)

you leave me no choice but to explain this to you through the medium of Gandalf, gonzo, I'm sorry but there it is
"It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance."
"Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends."
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:46, archived)

I don't like LotR, to many forrest bits, don't like forrest bits. If it was based mostly in a city, in modern times, it would be much better... like that KiDULTHOOD film.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)

Which was the basic argument of both Mao.
If you genuinely want to improve the quality of life for people in developing countries then invest in the women: sex education, improvement of women's rights, and investment in women-led businesses are the three most important factors both in reducing poverty and also reducing population growth rates.

Or ... you know ... you can continue to be a revolting fascist.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:23, archived)

LOL

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)

Needs more orcs and wizards.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:41, archived)

I will immediately start work on explaining the rise of fascism through the lord of the r
oshithangonhangon
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 20:12, archived)

Also, OMG GRODWINS LAUWW CONFRIRMASHUN BIAS EU FATCATS GRAVY TRAIN (etc.)

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:44, archived)

because Christians go over there and tell them there's a big spirit in the sky who watches everything they do
and he hates it when they use all the rubber dick wrappers the Red Cross guys give away for free, and the reason they're so hungry and dirty and poor is because they have to suffer so that they get all the happiness in the next life, and if they use contraception then they will never experience heaven, and nor will their children.

To change this, all that is needed is for the head of the world's wealthiest organisation to say "condoms are ok" and millions of people will be ok to enjoy emotionally satisfying adult relationships without the risk of making another starving child, but he doesn't want to, because it's not "right".
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:54, archived)

I don't really see how they can do that in good concous.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:58, archived)

That's the point of religion
you don't have to do it in good concience, you do it because you believe any old shit spouting out of some idiots mouth
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)

it's very specific shit I assure you

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:25, archived)

yeah, no muslims in africa fighting causing famines, oh no, no tribes either

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:58, archived)

Why do the warloads in Simarlia do what they do, mongy?
The world has such potential to be good if people wern't cunts.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:01, archived)

why do poor people get addicted to expensive substance abuse when clearly from the outset they can not afford this habit and just a bit of hindsight will show it will make matters worse?

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:05, archived)

why do fools fall in love?
why do birds sing so gay?
and lovers await the break of day?
why do they fall in love?
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:08, archived)

jews did 9/11

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:10, archived)

hehe
gay.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:25, archived)

Probably for so many reasons, the substances can numb and take away bad thoughts and feelings caused by, in part, by their povity.
It's an instant gratification, and instant fix, which is why they want more of it. But eventually the substance, the fix, eventually it wares out until the next one.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:10, archived)

you can't out-troll Christianity, mongy

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:04, archived)

He could have a damn good go though.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:13, archived)

shit dude if i wasn't going out in a minute i'd totally start this shit up

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:17, archived)

well look on the bright side for them gonzo, it's not likely to be that long, is it, here you go, scroll down a bit for maps
web.worldbank.org/WBSITE/EXTERNAL/EXTDEC/EXTGLOBALMONITOR/EXTGLOMONREP2011/0,,contentMDK:22885530~pagePK:64168445~piPK:64168309~theSitePK:7856232,00.html
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:55, archived)

i can see your point
but it's difficult to say to poor people they can't have children because of their lot in life
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:09, archived)

~~difficult~~ morally repellant
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)

well quite

(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:13, archived)

I'm not saying 'poor people', plenty of poor people have good lives.
Poor is a reliative term. I'm talking about those who have no access to things needed (as deemed by biology) to live.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)

Because in their culture children are a blessing and having lots of them is the norm.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:16, archived)

It's got fuck all to do with "their" culture.
The go forth and multiply creed is almost completely unique to the abrahamic faiths and the bizarre bronze-age sandfucker polytheist warmongers that dreamt it up. Most cultures on earth understand the concept of limiting children to a practical number, even if they didn't have the biological knowledge to adequately apply the idea.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:29, archived)

armies require warriors and lots of them

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:33, archived)

Prezackerly.
They sort of gloss over that bit in the fluffy Jesus story. There's only one chosen people. The rest of us are grease for their godly bronze swords.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)

make sure your image dpi and print dpi are set high enough
about 300 dpi for printing
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)

*doffs caps*
thank you kindly x
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:15, archived)

penis in the post
just give it a lil kiss and post it back, ta.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:23, archived)

Best put it in a plastic money bag, someone who got a blowjob from a mosquito might find his penis hard to find.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:35, archived)

that fancy dress party was a real blast

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:36, archived)

What resolution is it?
You'd want 200dpi at the least.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:17, archived)

Can I have number 5?

(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:20, archived)

Can't you order a bridesmaid or matron of dishonour to fix it for you while you sit gin and browse for pretty shoes?

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:22, archived)

unfortunately I think I'm the most savvy for this job
I did teach myself quite a bit of photoshop for this project so and I'm really pleased with the result.

Don't have time to look for shoes though, can I deputise you as third bridesmaid and put you in charge of shoes?
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:26, archived)

Bonzer.
Blood-stained all stars it is.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:19, archived)

that's handy
i'm wearing a pair in that style right now
(

Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)

have you tried the power of prayer?

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:00, archived)

Fuck off, noob. xxx

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:25, archived)

Right then you bunch of cuntspanners
I've finally got a new PC, tell me which nice, shiny games to buy

(minus MW3 or Battlefield)
(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:24, archived)

the sims 8
and the fritzl dlc
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:25, archived)

shove ha'penny

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:25, archived)

IN 3D

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

in £, s, 3d
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)

made me do a lol

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:13, archived)

Pac Man, it's WELL good

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:25, archived)

pin the tail on the donkey

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:25, archived)

but we haven't got a donkey

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

admittedly the setup costs are higher than most with this game
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:33, archived)

+gums

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:28, archived)

pfft! and again!

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:14, archived)

quoits

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:26, archived)

deck spanners

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:26, archived)

Lumbago

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:26, archived)

Jump the Pumpkin

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:26, archived)

Count to Twelve and Run

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

Go Johnny Gogogogo

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

and not an amusing reply shall be made in this thread

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:26, archived)

give me some moser

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

PES OR FIFA
(888777555, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

who is your favourite mortal kombat character?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)

Reptile.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)

Battletoads.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

go johnny go go go go

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

Y E H A W !

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:28, archived)

S N A P!

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)

calvinball

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

Earthworm Jim

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:28, archived)

Cripple Mr Onion

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:28, archived)

All Orks Must Die
I'm really really looking forard to that.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)

You know that "Orks" is a codeword for "Jews"?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)

Oh you irish and you codewords.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)

In the early seventies the Provos in Warrenpoint were using "Pink" as their recognised codeword.
That's just crap.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:34, archived)

or an unconscious admission that the depths of sectarian hatred could only truly stem from repressed gayness
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:36, archived)

Do you ever think to yourself "You know what, I don't need to remember that, it will never be useful or interesting to anyone" and then forget about a fact?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)

Not that I can recall.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)

Oh well played.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:42, archived)

Fantasy Land Dizzy

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)

Best fucking game EVER.
Also possibly the first game I ever completed. I was so pleased. Little did I know that that satisfied feeling would hook me into gaming for the rest of my life.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)

i have been playing it again recently
Still so wonderful as it first was.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:36, archived)

You're making me want to dig my old C64 out of the attic now...

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:49, archived)

haha
that has to be the hardest game ever made, possible second to Wizadore
(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)

that was a joystick-snapping cunt of a game
The only C64 games I ever completed were Ghostbusters and Outrun
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:45, archived)

ooooh, outrun
Yes please
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)

I'm anticipating The Old Republic.
Deus Ex 3 might be good too, if they've learned from the last one. Other than that, um. Why not get Steam and see what's popular or cheap or popular and cheap on there? Steam itself is free.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)

the last one was Deus Ex.
.
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)

In terms of release date, not in terms of chronology
you pedantic eel.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)

THERE ARE NO OTHER DEUS EX GAMES

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:35, archived)

WHAT ABOUT DEUS EX ULTIMATE BASKETBALL
SIGN HIM UP FOR THE NICKS!!!
(

Lightguy hail satan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:36, archived)

Oh!
Oh, I see what you mean. Like the way that there were no Matrix sequels. You're right, of course.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)

Steam Summer Madness sale is coming up soon.
I'm waiting for that shit fo srs.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:53, archived)

I have an origami pemguin attached to my screen :)

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:33, archived)

go make a fortune teller / snapdragon thingy
pick a colour... b, l, u, e
pick a number... $(seq 1 412 -w)
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)

what kind of penguin?
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)

A pemguin.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)

better than a pkcs12guin

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:40, archived)

this makes it work faster
Trufax
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)

BULLSHIT!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:40, archived)

Bull Spheniscidae more like
(latin bird family Lols)
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:44, archived)

BULLSHIT!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)

ask bill oddy
He'll vouch for me. The beardy knob.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:48, archived)

Fo' real
i7.photobucket.com/albums/y276/The_Monosyllabic_Girl/photo-1.jpg
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:08, archived)

is it albino?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:10, archived)

Yeah
It's called World of FUCK YOU!
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)

I played that.
Everyone was mean. :(
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)

Yeah, to be fair it's not very good at all
I don't know why I even suggested it
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:40, archived)

*heads off to Game*
*comes back disappointed*
(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:52, archived)

install OnLive

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:50, archived)

Buy that game that helps you make your own decisions so people don't think you're a weak spastic.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:52, archived)

Don't oppress me!
I'm crowdsourcing MAAAAAN
(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:53, archived)

you're all for the tough huh?

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:54, archived)

That doesn't make sense, blue namer.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:58, archived)

apparently not
Put the word love in there somewhere.

What's this blue name thing then? I imagine I could guess.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:26, archived)

mike I've found another thread with I_was_modred being a prick.
b3ta.com/talk/5546516
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:24, archived)

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Call of Pripyat
Haven't played it but it looks good and the older ones are tremendous. I dunno, DiRT 3 or something
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:10, archived)

First sensible answer eh

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:10, archived)

another victory for crowdsourcing

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:12, archived)

Red Faction: Armageddon

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:12, archived)

videogamena.me/
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 19:22, archived)

Hello lovely /talk people.
I know some of you have already had this spammed at you, and to those people I apologise.

To those of you who have not, next month I and another b3tan that's not on /talk a lot (chenobble) are driving to Mongolia to raise money for the Christina Noble Children's Foundation (and also to have fun along the way). We'll drive 10,000 miles in a Nissan Micra that is wholly inappropriate for the journey. We would very much appreciate your help financially, but please note that this will in no way pay for us to have fun - every penny you donate will go to a very worthy charity that helps kids who have to live in hellish conditions that you can't even imagine, unless you're a bit sick. Stop imagining that.

The event we are taking part in is The Mongol Rally, which you can read about here: www.theadventurists.com/the-adventures/mongol-rally
and the all-important link for you to sponsor us, you beautiful people, is here: www.justgiving.com/herdingcats

Thankyou for your time. Spam spam spam, yes I know. Sorry.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)

For the TL;DR crowd:
PLEASE CAN I HAVE MONEY www.justgiving.com/herdingcats
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)

I can't lie to you about your chances
...but you have my sympathies :P
Edit: from looking more into that rally you also appear to have bigger testicles than a large proportion of the male populus
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:04, archived)

What chances? They've almost hit the target.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)

People have been generous so far.
I like people. :)
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)

alright
_aAaaA^aaaaAAaAAaaAaa^aAAAaaAArRRRrRRrRRRRrRd_vAAaaaaAaaaaAAaaaAAaAAAaA_rRrRrRR_rrRR_k!!!!!!!!_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)

:D
Hello JA, you sexual behemoth.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)

Yeah, I'm kind of referring to the whole 'driving 10,000 miles in a micra' thing.
Also: nobody got my Ian Holm impersonation :(
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)

what's wrong with that?
i would love to do that rally.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

Nonono, don't get me wrong: it sounds like it would be an amazing experience
It's just that it also looks extremely dangerous o.O
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)

You massive pussy
I did it five years ago
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)

You did not just refer to me as a pussy
simply on the merit that you, Grrmachine, a mental with a hardon for the mechanical, went on a jolly purely designed for mentals with hardons for the mechanical.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:44, archived)

The only way to reclaim your masculinity is with a cash donation.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:45, archived)

i think it sounds like a fantastic, challenging jolly.
and i don't ever have a mechanical hardon. Although if i did have one, i think it would have to be mechanical.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:46, archived)

Even if we don't make it I'll have some great stories to tell over and over to people that aren't really interested, when I'm old.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

I've just got the feeling your mummy drives a BMW X5.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:15, archived)

I don't even own an mummy

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:19, archived)

Clicked both of dese.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)

Thanks Badger.
Did I tell you you're looking smashing today?
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:08, archived)

i suppose i should get used to these sort of begging letters now i'm going to be a millionaire

dear Sirs,
          fucking do one.
                         yours
                              mongychops

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:04, archived)

Can I have some money for a new carpet, mongy? I'd appreciate it a lot.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:08, archived)

i'm not funding your adiction to shake n vac, no way

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)

I love you mongy. :)

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)

if you'd waited a couple of months when all the stuffs gone through i would have paid for numerous whores

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)

Sadly we set off next month so there's no time to wait.
You can get me a whore at the next bash.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:14, archived)

How much dosh do I get for a bumhole picture? I could stick a lego man in there or something if you want.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)

i'm not supplying you with more gold to hoard

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:14, archived)

That's OK, I'll grab a few bob from our World Bank that we control in the few days it takes for the money to transfer into the new account.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

Soz
Don't do being begged at. I have got a lovely fish finger butty though. You can't have that either.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)

Fair enough.
I'm not begging on my own behalf but I am indeed begging. Enjoy your fish finger butty.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)

bogus isn't the giving kind
except when it comes to bums and ...rind?
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)

Binky! What's with all these rhymes?
Are you really bored at work?
Shouldn't you spend all that time
Trying not to shirk?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)

printing barcodes, on phone, on hold
boss away, and feeling bold.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)

Keep your eye out, and if you're quick
Slyly give the bean a flick.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:34, archived)

to drive all that way in a nissan micra
you both must look insane in lycra.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)

Insanely sexy, perhaps.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)

sexy 'vark and cute chenobb'll
drive a micra across europle.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:39, archived)

I can't afford to feed myself this month, so it's a no from me.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)

Thankyou for your time.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)

I would if I could, homes.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

I'd like to donate some moral support.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)

Always appreciated.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)

fantastic, good luck
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)

Cheers!

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)

how many of the children are you bringing back,
and how much do I need to donate to get one?

preferebly not one of the ones that has to come back in the boot, they never seem to make it
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)

Depends.
For a fiver we'll get you a fairly homely one. Sexy children cost more.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)

Sounds awesome and something I've always wanted to do. Proper ridiculous trip in a banger.
Will check funds and see if I can help out.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)

Cheers!
The link will remain open and available for the foreseeable future. Also, they do this every year so you can always do it yourself... :)
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)

I know man, me and a mate talked about it last year but didn't get our shit together. One day!

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)

How much is Tom Morgan charging you lot to fund his lifestyle these days?
and are the rules as pathetic as they were last year

good on you, it's a massive laugh
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)

The rules are a bit daft, yes.
Should be fun though!
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)

I heard that the car has to be less than ten years old these days
that took all the fun away, for me.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:26, archived)

you mean my polo wouldn't make it :(

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)

Nope
and if you can't take a wreck, it's not a challenge. Every year the roads get better, so with newer cars it just becomes an endurance thing rather than an adventure. Of course, with no time limit or penalties (because it's not really a rally) you can go as slow as you like and have as much fun as you want on the way, which I hope Aardvark does because there's awesome sights on route, but it's not a rally.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)

Sadly that is true.
Still, it means we have a car that actually works, so I guess that's a good thing.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)

Also, I don't charge anything for my consultancy services on these matters

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)

Awesome, I may have to pick your brains a little before we go.
Thanks matey. :)
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)

I don't think you should go.
It's too far away and your car is rubbish and you might get a sun burn or the runs and then get poorly and end up catching some weird disease that makes a worm eat your brain then a big bad Russian policeman might arrest you for being brainless and lock you away in a hole that has no proper toilet.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)

Well we've already decided to go, and if I pull out now I will look like a massive wuss.
You paint an intricate picture of disaster there.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)

Best give you some money then s'pose.

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:42, archived)

I love everyone that donates.
Especially you.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:49, archived)

I'm jolly skint so I can't donate
but I'll spam it on twitter and facebook for you.

Looks like a great laugh, enjoy :)
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)

Thanks very much, lovely lady.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)

I'll see if I have some money left on payday.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)

Cheers!
That'd be smashing. Like you.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)

*basks in the flattery from the most excellent Aardvark*

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:36, archived)

I have a nissan micra, I've never gone off road but I was unable to drive over
this road in winter, I rolled backwards down the hill and had to got the other way.

You can have some money
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:34, archived)

Someone anonymous just gave very generously. Was it you?
I don't really anticipate going up or down any hills, or even turning any corners. It should be a breeze.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:36, archived)

that road looks bally difficult, old chum

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:42, archived)

a wise old owl sat in an oak.
the more he heard, the less he spoke.
the less he spoke, the more he heard.
blah blah blah blah owls can't talk.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

Woodpeckers can tho
Professor Yaffle FTW.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

a woodpecker made of wood is a terrible thing.

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:40, archived)

Neh neh neh!

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)

There once was a saucy minx called Binky,
Who got cum in here eye and made her blinky,
So she got a pair of rayburns, exclaimed "It no longer burns !"
And was free to suck on plenty of dinkies
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:20, archived)

Yeah, okay.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:20, archived)

thought so.

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

I'm going for a cigarette.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:24, archived)

as in attacking?

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:35, archived)

I won.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)

HORROR AND VIOLENCE UNSUITABLE FOR A YOUNG AUDIENCE
Old Brown carried Nutkin into his house, and held him up by the tail, intending to skin him; but Nutkin pulled so very hard that his tail broke in two, and he dashed up the staircase and escaped out of the attic window.
And to this day, if you meet Nutkin up a tree and ask him a riddle, he will throw sticks at you, and stamp his feet and scold, and shout— "Cuck-cuck-cuck-cur-r-r-cuck-k-k!"
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

mr macgregor would put him in a PIE

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:36, archived)

An aardvark only feasts on ants
but this Aardvark will eat your pants.
A g-string, boxers, pair of briefs,
The stretchy waistbands floss my teeth.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

bloomers large and thongs aplenty,
aardvark gobbles more than twenty
pairs a day, it's told;
it's how he's lived to be so old.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

i'm not saying you're OLD, it just rhymes.

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

Owl be the judge of that.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

There were three owls on Raglan Row,
Two on top and one below,
The Owl Triangle.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:26, archived)

"I saw the best minds of my generation, flying around at night, eating mice..."
From Owl, by Allen Ginsberg.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:29, archived)

What kind of Owl can an Amish village make in a day?
A Barn Owl.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:29, archived)

What kind of Owl can devastate the marine biology of the Gulf of Mexico?
An Owl Spill.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:30, archived)

What is Tom Cruise's favourite nocturnal bird?
Owl Ron Hubbard.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:31, archived)

i'm not saying these jokes are clawful (awful), it's just the way you talon (tell them)

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:37, archived)

What kind of owl can help you with the washing up?
Teat owl (tea towel)
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)

which late 70s sitcom featured owls with long term illnesses in a sanctuary and was a bit racist? Owlnly when I laugh
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:02, archived)

and they don't even have proper ears.
what a rubbish rhyme
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

I'm only a poor little sparrow
No colourful feathers have I
I can’t even sing
When I’m nesting in spring
The turnips don’t grow very high
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

Swallow, swallow, what a beautiful word
no, not the gulp. I mean the bird
(

cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

Thanks Baldmonkey

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)

good contribution to a great thread.

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:35, archived)

Cheers Baldbinky :P

(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)

all the owls round the lake a noisy fuckers, hooty cunts

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:42, archived)

The owls round the lake are noisy
I don't get a moment's peace
I am not saying they should be snoozy
But it's to-whit this and to-woo that without cease
The owls round the lake are hooty cunts
They have made me start wishing
That while they are having their nocturnal fun
They would give me some quiet for my fishing
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:08, archived)

POACHED EGG

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:58, archived)

CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:03, archived)

NON SEQUITUR

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:07, archived)

aaAAAaa_AaAaAaAaA_AAaaaaAaaAAAa^rRRRrRrRrRdvAaaAAaaaaaaaAAAAaAAAaaAAaAAarrrrRrRRrrR^RrRrR^k!!!!!!_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)

thank YOU for the attention earlier the day ta

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)

:D
Afternoon, lovely. How's the week shaping up so far?
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)

is it friday yet?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:21, archived)

Nearly!
Give it 82.5 hours or so.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:25, archived)

Woke up at 9, 10 and 11, hungover each time.
Took two painkillers and went back to sleep, got up when my alarm went off at half 12, not working today and have the next two days off also.
Contemplating getting accommodation in Carlingford and thinking the week's going to be good.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:21, archived)

Hangover is a bad way to start the week, but three days off is a very good way.
I recommend sitting around in your pants eating crisps as much as possible.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:26, archived)

Pfft, I can't face eating anything yet.
But I'm going one better by sitting in my birthday suit in bed.

I will have to get dressed later though, got to go see a man about a plant.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:27, archived)

i put it to you that three days off is no way to start the week at all
it's just dragging the weekend out to a lovely length.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:33, archived)

Not when you were working saturday and sunday Binks.
Then it is your weekend.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)

...and still no start to your week, really, then, i reckon.
*stern looks*
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:54, archived)

You are of course correct, Ms. Binkerson.
I nominate Binky for mod of /calendar.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:39, archived)

In spray form
plis.
(Lister of Smeg No talking. No smoking. Follow the orange line, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)

YES WE DO HAVE FENCES
but they're made of ladders
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)

none for me thanks

(

Lightguy hail satan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:14, archived)

I had a club sandwich
and a sliver of Chocolate Torte from Gu.
.....dirty.....
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)

fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)

DAMMITALL
i thought i'd snuck that one by
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:26, archived)

Not likely, don't you know there's a war on?

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:32, archived)

;poached powdered egg

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:35, archived)

did you break your arm on those stupid leg things?

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:37, archived)

this is where the romans played quidditch

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:39, archived)

you've lost me there, no offence

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:41, archived)

Something about poop

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)

something about mainbrace

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)

don't be mean, he might have been using them to rescue a cat from a tree

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/ee0d0a7dc532064da1b6/1307882599873.jpg
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:39, archived)

I've not seen the film
is the joke that nobody cares about mystique, or that charles and erik are bumders?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:49, archived)

It's a little bit of both.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)

I think it's a joke about magnets and the profound mystery that obscures how they work
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:54, archived)

Learn the secrets.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)

arf

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:05, archived)

I wonder if Mistque and Nightcrueler's Dad had sex they would create a purple person.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)

I've got some news for you gonz. Mystique and Nightcrawler's dad did have sex and they created Nightcrawler.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

Oh man, really? Fiction is stranger than fiction, or something like that.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:09, archived)

I'm not even joking that, I didn't realise.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:09, archived)

How comes they didn't mention that in the movies when they meet up?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)

Because they already hinted at Will.i.am being Nightcrawler's dad in Wolverine: Origins. Azazel is his real father though.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)

The bloke from the black eye'd peas? what?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:17, archived)

it's starting to read like HollyoakX
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:19, archived)

Global conspiracy.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)

Hold up now, I'm a jew here, if anyone should know about these world wide consipracies, it should be me.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

I am unsettled by this development

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:49, archived)

I love Chloe Bale
by 'love' I mean 'would like to lick clean'
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:51, archived)

Even if she'd been diving in a pool of raw sewage and overly-affectionate sea urchins?

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)

ESPECIALLY if she'd been diving in a pool of raw sewage

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:55, archived)

I don't think this is a good idea, look you can get all sorts of illnesses, www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/indg197.pdf
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)

To the statement "Avoid becoming contaminated with sewage"
all I can say is "well, duh".
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

ok, fair enough
What about sexing? Can I still sex her up, should the opportunity present itself?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)

I think you should go crazy, good luck, we're all crossing our fingers for you
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:05, archived)

fortunately, I have never been one of those people the leaflet mentions who fails to recognise the link between illness and work
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:04, archived)

Fucking hell.
I mean.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSQUfTBcOu4
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

what would you invent
chloe bale though, eh?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)

icecream in a squirty can, like fake-whipped cream.

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:33, archived)

basically ALL food , but spray on

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)

cheeseburgers?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

plis

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

spaghetti bolognese that comes out like silly string

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)

You now have me wanting
to see if baby food works in a spray bottle that I can take to work/festivals/bed.
(Lister of Smeg No talking. No smoking. Follow the orange line, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:01, archived)

NONCE!

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

And a scummy one at that.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

a real live totoro that you can't hurt by squashing or mauling

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)

kind of like a cat and a cushion and a stress ball all in one.

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)

half car half snack
something like a cheeseburger
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:37, archived)

floating.

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:37, archived)

like, less gravity.

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:37, archived)

Hover spoons?

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:46, archived)

bread
that'd be ace
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)

imagine if you could SLICE it!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

I can't
that's just too much.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)

wireless electricty
so no more plugs and shit loads of cables behind the telly
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)

too late
already exists, if you want things to me massively inefficient.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

I don't

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)

picky picky
you didn't say that!

Maybe HDMI 1.5 will support power. 1.4 supports ethernet, so who knows...
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)

but I want it NOOOOOOWWW
*sulks*
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)

Price cuts suggest it's dog toffee...
www.johnlewis.com/230722207/Product.aspx?source=63258
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:44, archived)

how elegantly unnecessary
*buys four*
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)

four??
But now I can't get one!
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

you can have one of mine...I'm just being greedy

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)

ducks with human legs

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)

think of the size
of the pancakes you'd need for them!
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)

storing movies on a compact disc

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:44, archived)

only if they were about a foot wide
that'd be ace. Everyone loves things when they get bigger.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

I want the entire Star Wars saga on a disc the size of a paddling pool

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:52, archived)

Stupid future.
I never lost a VHS or a Vinyl because someone put it back in the wrong case.
(Lister of Smeg No talking. No smoking. Follow the orange line, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)

an app
which lets you photograph wine bottle's recognises them, lets you rate them and use the aggregated data of thousands of other users to suggest other ones you might like without having to know shit about booze.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)

a wireless optical mouse glove where you just tap or swipe your fingers on the table instead of buttons

or a mouse that is also a live turtle
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)

think I've seen these
but without the glove at all, just shines an image down over your hand and works it out. Keyboard too... totally impractical no doubt.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

guns that you shoot but they bring people back to life

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

helium balloon lamps to replace street lamps
you just tie one to your coat zip or the string that holds your mittens through the arms of the coat
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

something that gives me a job and pays off my credit card and overdraft cheers

(

moohalaa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

get a printer and invent some £20 notes

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)

booze that doesn't destroy your internal organs
also, cigarettes what don't give you cancer
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

a toilet with toilet paper strung across the bowl like a reel to reel with a high power motor for efficient bum flossing

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:49, archived)

lol

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

optics for milk and mayonaise and barbecue sauce that poke out through the fridge door

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:50, archived)

decent pva packaging

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

~~packag~~ cloth
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:55, archived)

custom flat head nails with celebrity faces cast on the top
so you can smash les dennis into your shed
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

a wallet that cries like a child if it's not near you

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:53, archived)

a reprap machine but for pie

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:54, archived)

Cheese

(

BindiBaji, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:54, archived)

bags of peanuts you can open easilol

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:54, archived)

a central heating system that uses cold water and keeps your house cool in the summer

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:58, archived)

A hat that's actually two hats, but with the comfort of one

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:01, archived)

Inflatable teeth

(wimbley is feeling hungover, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)

A portable farm.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:04, archived)

Lipo batteries that can be charged in 10 minutes and don't cost lots of money

(

M o D, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)

Lithium...
...Polonium?
(Lister of Smeg No talking. No smoking. Follow the orange line, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:30, archived)

No. Lipo-suction.
You tape them to your belly and they convert fat into energy.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:37, archived)

Joy Division Oven Gloves

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:40, archived)

Sex.
I'd make a fortune.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:44, archived)

you wouldn't release it
under the GPL?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:48, archived)

Hell no.
No-one else would be allowed to do it unless they paid me a considerable sum.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:50, archived)

never ending tea

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:59, archived)

morning jiblet ticklers
how are you then?
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 7:54, archived)

its 2:06:51 AM and I'm tired.
Laying in bed waiting for sleep to take me away. Not very exciting.
(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:07, archived)

turn the lappy off
it does help i've found.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:21, archived)

You still won't leave the house.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:37, archived)

haha
yeah, great internet
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:38, archived)

amazon is being crap internet today, right?
it isn't just me where it times out?

everything else is working.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:06, archived)

fine here

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:13, archived)

damnit. everything else is working :(
thanks though.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)

you need money to be interested in shopping

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)

Feeling much better than previous nights
and the burns on my arm are healing well
(

Rev. Cleo still alive, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:22, archived)

burns?

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:37, archived)

They're very small
Only about the size a lighter held to the skin can do, a couple of them are third degree but no real issue there. It's interesting to see how white the flesh can still be while it's healing.
(

Rev. Cleo still alive, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:15, archived)

that's an interesting description of their size
What's the chances that was related to how you got them?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

Perhaps it was.
It didn't hurt that much either way. I think I've grown too accustomed to burns. Asides, pressing a lit incense/joss stick into your arm hurts more. Lighters are meh in comparison. Just hurts like a stubbed toe. Plus incense sticks smell nicer. Edit: g'night, it's 5am here now and I'm being silly being awake this long I should sleep.
(

Rev. Cleo still alive, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:54, archived)

wow. you're weird.

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:29, archived)

yeah...she gives you that impression doesn't she
clearly partial to the occasional bit of beakery
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:31, archived)

i can't stand beakers
flasks are more my thing
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)

Give me a test tube any day.

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:49, archived)

no
get your own fucking test tube
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)

Fuck you and the test tube hoarding horse you rode in on.
When I take over I'm making test tube donations mandatory.
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:56, archived)

For fuck's sake MW...just lend him your test tube
god
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:57, archived)

He'll have to wash the stale spunk out first.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:10, archived)

why?
it'd be a free loan he can wash it out
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)

better off leaving it to dry, then scrape it out

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

I watch Breaking Bad
All about the round bottom flasks in that one. Cna't cook good Meth without them apparently.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:05, archived)

incense + cooking flesh = ??
actually, isn't that what the "marijuana" smells like?
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:04, archived)

I've been in work over an hour.
Speaks for itself really. How's tricks MW?
(

Neddy shucking chit funt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:41, archived)

alrite, i dont start till 12 hurrah

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:53, archived)

I feel like battered shit
And Skegness is was every bit of a shithole as I thought it would be.

It's like Blackpool on chemotherapy, and with more trailers and inbreeding
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:06, archived)

Why the frig are you in Skeggy?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:14, archived)

Beach Tournament for the weekend.
I'm back now, but I think I need to see a doctor. I...saw things.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:22, archived)

I went once when I was a nipper
It scarred my soul
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:23, archived)

Everything is neon/sodium-lamp yellow
There were: 12 year-olds dressed in heels and heavy makeup
footy shirts
pregnant polish girls
fat people in electric scooters
illegal breeds of dogs on massive chain leads
stalls selling studded belts with replica guns for buckles
gaggles of wrinkly 40 year-olds on hen dos dressed as wild west hookers *bork*
chippies, pizza places and kebab shops crammed into 1/4 square mile
signs advertising 'family fun' as far as the eye can see...

I did like their breakfasts though. They got that shit right.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:41, archived)

top listing
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:45, archived)

on principle, i don't see anything wrong with there being footy shirts or girls being pregnant
and if you are so fat you can't walk, it's better to be able to get out still than to lie gathering bedsores
and i'm glad you find it so easy to identify "illegal breeds" of dog when the legal lines there are so blurry
and there's no reason why people you happen to find unattractive can't have a girls' night out in celebration
and i bet you eat chips and pizza sometimes and would love some family fun.

in fact you are probably jealous of all their family fun.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:46, archived)

i think frisbee boy is a snob

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)

I don't have a problem per se with these things individually
but the above was pretty much full on, pretty much all the time.
It looked like a supercondensed version of Little Britain.
You can try to argue for their case all you want but it was fucking terrible to see.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)

i went to the alps once, and there were all these people all dressed up in gaudy clothes skiing down mountains, then eating and drinking and going to nightclubs in the evening, you'd think they were on holiday or something, cunts

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:54, archived)

Unless the Alps were in your car or on the end of a fishing line, you went nowhere near them.
You terrible liar.
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:56, archived)

i'll be able to go fishing much quicker in my new car

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:02, archived)

Oooooooh get her!
Nothing to see here
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:58, archived)

AS YET, no.
the boy's been hanging around and it's hush-hush, also he reads this forum, nudge wink, say no more (please)
:)
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:01, archived)

*nose touch*
*point*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:03, archived)

good work agent hush.

(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:20, archived)

I went to Blackpool a while ago
I don't know why. I lasted about ninety minutes, then the sight of smoking obese people in mobility scooters & the smell of tobacco everywhere broke me.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)

At least Blackpool has some decent rides
You can get higher than the smoke clouds and the fatties are out of sight for a blissful 60 seconds.
I think it adds to the mystique of it all
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:12, archived)

unless the fat people are all at the bottom of the big wheel by chance and the motor grinds and fails and then you are stuck at the top legs dangling sadly :(
:(
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)

Oh no you sound like you're talking from personal experience!
Oh Binky :(
How did the hen do go?
(

Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:58, archived)

it was alright, on account of how the p.e. teacher gaggle hardly spoke to me, despite them being the only people i knew properly apart from the hen,
BUT the lovely illustrator lady who i've met twice before had a lovely chat, very friendly, and i'm going to her degree show tonight now,
and the old housemate-of-hen knew noone at all and was absolutely smashing.
and obviously the hen herself is ace at mingling and that. And got all her dares done - collecting men's phone numbers and clothing and being bought drinks by strangers etc.
(

sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:05, archived)

I'VE FUCKED EVERYONE HERE
AND THEIR MUMS
AND PISSED ON THEIR OPRCHESTRAS
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:17, archived)

NONE OF THIS IS TRUE

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:18, archived)

APART FROM SOME OF IT

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:18, archived)

can you be more specific

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:19, archived)

can you be more terrific

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:22, archived)

and then more honorific

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:23, archived)

Greased Lightning!!!

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)

I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD HERE

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:31, archived)

Why? Feeling soporific?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:08, archived)

You bastard you.
Those orchestras were in mint condition.
(

Rev. Cleo still alive, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:20, archived)

God, I'm soo 3008 when you're 2008 late.... What a son of a bitch.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:47, archived)

HALLO GONZO HOW ARE YOU

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)

alright i suppose, dunno

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:26, archived)

yeah not too bad, ta

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:48, archived)

Ok

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

Hello, scum.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:49, archived)

Fuck off, cunt.

(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:52, archived)

Ooooooooooooooooooooh.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:54, archived)

Call me scum
What do you expect?

Handbags at dawn!
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:56, archived)

What have these guys got to do with it?
www.handbagsatdawn.info/home.html
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 3:00, archived)

Are those made from real human hands?

(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 6:58, archived)

Good morning evil robot rnuk.
Good robot rnuk's going to be along in a minute to punch your head off, then the real runk is going to mime to a Kiss song.
(

Zuowan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:06, archived)

~~Kiss~~ Argent
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:21, archived)

~~Argent~~ Steppenwolf

Unless he fancies miming to Laibach- in which case I say, "Good luck to you fine sir- now post a vid."
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:22, archived)

Ok, Kiss performing a song originally performed by Argent.

(

Zuowan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:30, archived)

How strange.
I was watching KISS videos earlier and wondering whether GWAR or Slipknot were their natural successors.

For what it's worth I thought GWAR- that's a no-brainer- however I do wonder to what extent Slipknot might have been influenced by KISS to that extent.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:21, archived)

I and my housemates worked at a cafe at Reading Festival in 2001 and we smuggled about 50 eggs into the arena and threw them at Slipknot
My mate Dennis's first shot hit the bassist. My limp shot missed the stage completely and got a security guard square in the face, he started smashing his way through the crowd towards me so I had to run for it.
The slipknot fans loved our egging and asked to join in. Weirdos.
(

Zuowan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:40, archived)

It's like The Damned asking their fans to spit on them during their performance.
Or Primus insisting their fans said "Primus sucks."

Primus probably had the level right there- less transmission of bodily fluids is a good idea.

Anyway, what's this Deathfest I've heard about in Jakarta? I've been looking some Indonesian death metal bands up and some of them look quite good.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:50, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7214623
(

Zuowan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:54, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7214624

[Edit] Re favourite Anal Cunt song, it's this one. Hits the spot between not being offensive and being too offensive.

If an In Memoriam to Seth Putnam avoided offending anyone, then you're doing it wrong.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:59, archived)

You fucking new I was lurking you cunt!
new = knew.

26th June, outdoors (read effing hot) dangerous due to Indo deathmetal fans in close proximity to each other and quite possibly dry (nae beer)

Facebook page only at this point!

www.facebook.com/jakarta.deathfest
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:05, archived)

You're usually about at this time of day.
Thanks for the info.

[Edit] Are you going? I'd love to.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:07, archived)

Unfortunately not...
I'll be travelling to Singapore for Monday meetings with drilling contractors. To be honest, there are venues where you can see these bands play in he evening and get a beer with aircon which is a better idea!
Added bonus, seeing them in a bar you do not get the cops all over the place looking for dealers and general thuggery. Indo Deathmetal fans tend to get on the wrong side of the law and chaos is the usual end result. (Which I suppose is what they wanted anyway)
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:13, archived)

It's mainly the idea sent to the western world that such events do happen in the East.
You would be surprised at how many people think it it is a purely American and European phenomenon.

Perhaps you wouldn't, but most people are.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:17, archived)

This place is buzzing on the music scene...
From Deathmetal to Jazz it's all here. Even the buses have buskers who travel with the bus, Jakarta is a pretty mind-blowing place, but, at the heart of it it all comes down to their music. The jogja ensembles are equally awesome, traditional Indonesian instruments played at breakneck percussive speed (preferably on a Balinese beach with chilled beers) is surreal.
This is one place in the world that I recommend people do really try to see.

Edit: See photo number 10 www.dilligafasia.com/page9a.html
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:21, archived)

I remember seeing Slipknot at Reading.
"When I say shut the fuck up, I want you all to throw up" said the lead Slipknot. All the kids down the front tried desperately to shove their fingers into their mouths, with varying results. We just stood on top of a hill muttering.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:07, archived)

And drinking tea and eating cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off.
Amusingly enough the one time I met you, I recall you had no difficulty throwing up but that was because you had drunk five pints of beer.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:12, archived)

Five???
Low tolerance?
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:13, archived)

No shit.
Admittedly that was 4 years ago when he had first moved down to London and realised that the bitters down here aren't as piss-weak as they're given credit for- they're just served flat which makes them easier to neck down.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:19, archived)

Forgiven

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:22, archived)

True though
Living from north to south throughout this country I've noticed that you get less head on a pint the further south you go- which makes it all the more drinkable.

I live in South Essex- which used to be a desolate landscape as far as getting a pint from a hand-pull was concerned. There was a real-ale revival and now I have six pubs within 10 minutes walking distance that all have a selection of well-kept real ales. Two of those have won regional CAMRA pub of the year awards multiple times. The choice is mine now.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:27, archived)

There's an english guy here who has started a mircobrewery.
Cider and IPA (7.2% by volume) Things are looking up!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:30, archived)

That's happening all over the world.
I'm looking at selling up in the UK and doing it myself if I can find the right country.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:32, archived)

Saudi Arabia or Iran look full of prospects!
No competition.
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:34, archived)

Lebanon is an interesting prospect

(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:39, archived)

Heineken manufacture in Lebanon.
You'd probably have to pay a huge bribe to get any form of licence to brew there....
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:42, archived)

You're going to have to do that most places.
That's why I wrote Goa off and Thailand.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:44, archived)

In my defence
I'd spent the entire previous day drinking, and topped it off with some dodgy street drugs in Soho. Wound up in the Isle of Dogs, not bad going on foot from Westminster; at 6am. Bed, and then out for a drink with you lot at noon. And I distinctly remember drinking lager, as it was the curry that triggered the heave.

Not saying it didn't happen, but I object to the ludicrous accusation that five pints is my limit.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 5:56, archived)

In your defence I added two pints to make you look like less of a poof.
It was three.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 6:13, archived)

Now you're just being malicious.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 6:51, archived)

I'm not responding to that.

(

postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 7:03, archived)

Just this, nothing more.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH2-TGUlwu4
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:38, archived)

I have a reply to that.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaKMrjQr9PE
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:42, archived)

A rebuttal.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqD1OohY2to&feature=player_detailpage#t=9s
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:45, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QttImm9ubE
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:53, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHGzLZAJOYM

AND: www.meh.ro/original/2010_01/meh.ro1294.jpg
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:57, archived)

that second link made me laff

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:59, archived)

He writes that stuff
And he's very particular about it.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3far9oHZOsI
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:01, archived)

I know, I have much respect for the dude.
Even if his videos are freaky as fuck.

Edit: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HHXcx2byN4
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:07, archived)

Are you familiar with Squarepusher?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxEb2FrQUbE

Another Chris Cunningham video with an electronic artist.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:13, archived)

I very much like him
his live show was AMZN.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:19, archived)

I saw him with M-people and Jamiroquai once.
When he wasn't so particular. :-)
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:10, archived)

Everyone has to make a living.
I have video of Frank Zappa on the Steve Allen Show at the age of 19.

[Edit] Zappa actually comes across really well on that.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:13, archived)

Oh I didnt mind.
they were all noobs at the time and I hadn't heard of any of them. It was just the weirdest bill I think I have ever seen!
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:16, archived)

When I was still at school- and Top of the Pops was on a Thursday
Culture Club played followed by Motorhead. That was when my dad said he was too old for modern music. To be honest I didn't understand it either as I was too young.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:20, archived)

Oh bless you.
I interviewed Lemmy once. I kissed him on his mole by mistake.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:27, archived)

He wouldn't have cared.
Lemmy lives for women (and whiskey and speed and carousing).
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:29, archived)

He's a right short-arse isn't he?
You expect him to be taller because of his stage-presence but he barely comes up to chest-height.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:29, archived)

Well i'm a midget
so he seemed a giant. He was very intelligent and a real gent I remember. Nothing like I expected.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:31, archived)

He is a gent- I've heard that about him.
Charming and polite.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:35, archived)

ahhhahahh that is fucking great

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 3:15, archived)

Sounds like something Baldmonkey would make

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:45, archived)

Maybe- if Baldmonkey had any talent.

(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:52, archived)

*Clicks*

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:58, archived)

No point in clicking that
baldmonkey already knows he's a talentless cunt- and if he doesn't he's had plenty of people telling him to the extent that trying to tell balders that he's a talentless shitecunt and thinking he'll take any notice is as worthwhile an exercise as pissing against the 10 foot deep walls of the Tower of London in the mistaken belief that you'll knock them down.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:18, archived)

*Clicks again*
See, thing with baldmonkey is replies (regardless of content) strokes his ego, that's why I stopped giving him the satisfaction of a reply.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:25, archived)

He'll just look at the popular page, see his name and accept that as validation.

(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:27, archived)

Alt text something about him fucking sheep then or something.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:29, archived)

Can't alt text a title
There's nothing in the body copy of that post.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:37, archived)

Alt text this the you fool!
b3ta.com/talk/7215180
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:44, archived)

That's not on the popular page though.
[Edit] Oh- it is now.

What's that link for finding out what your most popular posts are?
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 2:55, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/posts/41592/best
(

Zuowan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 4:30, archived)

*PUNCHES THE AIR IN ATTENTIONY ECSTASY!*

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 12:46, archived)

Ha ha- I hadn't seen that
Classic baldmonkey
(

Lord Gnome, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:54, archived)

I'm glad I had my headphone on rather than the speakers.
I like your sig. I bought Vice City again the other day just because I had an urge to play it
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:44, archived)

Hello Fooly!
Not seen you furages! How are ya?
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:45, archived)

Hello there HATD!
I come and go to this place. I'm very well thanks, have a good weekend?
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:47, archived)

Glad to hear it! I'm Smashing ta!
In fact..wonderful..I'm looking after a mates big dog, so no stinky teens around, and a nice tidy house to chill in. I feel like I'm on me holidays!
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:55, archived)

I got the GTA series for €20 off gamersgate last weekend, hence why I 'm rocking it.
I AM Tommy Versetti.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:46, archived)

Hey I'm just checking in to say I'm off to bed.
Great night on here.
I bid you all the very best.

Especially SSG.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:51, archived)

will you be wearing pjyamas, JMG? they could be pJMGmers
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:53, archived)

NO REPLY, ANGRY AT JMG
*rages*
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:00, archived)

*Pat on the back*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:07, archived)

it's too late, everything they say about you is troo, you have ruined EVERYTHING :(((
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:09, archived)

Worse than Baldmonkey's music.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:09, archived)

in the light of your point I will need to reassess your position in my scale of terrible
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:13, archived)

Posting and running?
Bad BAD JMG
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:54, archived)

JMG biscuits ltd

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:56, archived)

JMGmie dodgers

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:57, archived)

Clickin' dis.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:58, archived)

I JUMP INTO THIS THREAD AND PUNCH VLADMIR'S HEAD OFF

(

Lightguy hail satan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:03, archived)

the head continues to rage and it bounces along the ground like a cabbage
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:05, archived)

I kick the head into the open doorway of a routemaster

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:10, archived)

at least it will all end for me on the finest of all the buses

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:13, archived)

VLADIMIR'S HEAD IS EATEN BY A GRUE
WHAT NEXT? -
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:07, archived)

FLEXXX

(

Lightguy hail satan, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:07, archived)

The obvious.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv5BYEOQYLo
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:10, archived)

You're right, that was obvious.
Possibly.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:18, archived)

It's always obvious.
Or if not, it's always a good call.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:22, archived)

fuck that spastic shitcunt
what's special about YOUR evening?
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)

Not you, that's for sure.
Don't take that personally though. Almost none of you are responsible for my evening being special.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:29, archived)

*Appears*
TADA!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:39, archived)

FUCK YES!
Mr Trouser, sir! How the devil are you?
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:42, archived)

Alright.
Just trying to work out what is transmitting a signal in my area strong enough to knock out WiFi on channels above 8. It affects several hundred metres of my road, and is strong enough that should I try to use channel 11, a laptop can only connect if it's 2ft from the wireless router.

Any ideas? :-|

Other than that, trying to move house. Awaiting a buyer.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:46, archived)

MI6 van
They've been tracking your online behaviour.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:48, archived)

sprites

(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:50, archived)

I suspect your awesomeness is causing interference. Try being less awesome.
Oh, who am I kidding? You've got a terminal case of awesome.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:50, archived)

new batteries

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:51, archived)

Don't know
but you now have cancer
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:56, archived)

Dave Trouser doesn't get cancer.
Cancer gets Dave Trouser.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:57, archived)

pffft
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:59, archived)

Oi, Oi fucker.
What's the craic?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:43, archived)

jumbomumbogaylicnonsensewhatwhat?
Hello.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:47, archived)

How's tricks?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:49, archived)

All good.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:01, archived)

You're the only special I see here tonight.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:31, archived)

I need a piss

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:32, archived)

My left elbow hurts
And I'm interneting in a bed with someone who doesn't need a note from their mum.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:37, archived)

That's only because his mum's on your other side.

(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:38, archived)

Leaning on my wanking arm for Sunday

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:39, archived)

Nowt wrong with wanting a Strangers arm

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)

That's one from the George Formby studio tapes is it?

(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:41, archived)

B side of My Grandad's flanellette nightshirt

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:42, archived)

~~annellette~~ eshlight
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:44, archived)

Filth

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:47, archived)

Well, I never understood how formby got away with it.
Much less got so popular he could start selling grilling machines.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:48, archived)

It's only cos he was black and a muzzy heroin dealer

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:53, archived)

Well, someone had to do it.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:56, archived)

Only because their mums dead

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:38, archived)

Oh you fucking rotter
You dropped this '
Fucking hell, THE INFAMY!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)

Ive had' a couple
I do'nt give a Shit
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:47, archived)

You're shitter than shit Brian Graham
Shittest of all the apostrophe droppers and misuser supreme of the comma. The cunt.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:48, archived)

Im' sorry

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:55, archived)

Don't apologise to Bogus.
That's what the gobshite cunt wants you to do.

Tell him, "Fuck off you gobshite cunt!" instead.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:57, archived)

Coming from the man who fucks kids

(

Glovington, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:17, archived)

I have been eating strawberries for the last 5 minutes and they've been lovely
However I just bit into one near the bottom and it was really sweet, then very quickly turned sour, I have just glanced into the container to find the remaining strawberries are sprouting furry bacteria. Ever eaten anything you wish you hadn't?
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)

A twelve-course meal where every course involved tofu in some way.
*boik*
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)

was there pudding?

(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

Two of the courses were 'pudding'.
They still contained tofu.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

what the hell were they
or is it too painful to discuss
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

Fuck knows, it was all in foreign.
I think one of them was sweetened tofu jelly or something. It was a bit like crème brûlée but made out of evil.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

pure evil
was there any meat involved at all?
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

There was some fish.
No proper meaty meat though.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)

A multi course meal consisting of tofu and fish sounds like pure heaven to me.
Can't think of anything better.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:48, archived)

You. Wrong. Cunt.
That is all.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)

I second this.
Let's bully him until he flounces off /talk. Freak.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)

Ah, now I didn't say that.
He's wrong for having a hard-on for tofu, but otherwise, the Gnome's alright.

Not on David the Gnome's level, but pretty fucking close.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)

Get fucked the pair of you.
I'm right.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)

At a glance you're half left
So that's that argument out the window for a start.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)

Nope
I'm an unreconstructed Thatcherite- so I'm always right.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)

OH VIENNA!

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)

OH VIENNETTA!!

(

Glovington, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:15, archived)

OH CORNETTO!

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douhua :(((
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

You're giving me Nam-style flashbacks, now.
It was Japanese, not Chinese, but it looked like some of that. Blerg.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:42, archived)

I will take the memories away by invoking the greeting
!!!!!!!!!!!TOFU-FREEAAaAAAaAAAAaAaAaaAAAAaAaaaaaAARRRrRrRrRrdvaaAaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaAaaaaaAAaaaaaRRrrrrRrRRrrk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)

:D
Hurrah!
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)

Eurgh, you poor cunt.
Obviously it wasn't one of the restaurants I worked in, tofu's a horrible swear-word in them.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)

hear hear

(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)

It was a super-posh restaurant and apparently eating there was a big deal.
Horrible foreign muck.
Hello though Spider, your sig is making me want to dig out my copy now...
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)

DO!
I got all GTA games for €20 last weekend and only played Vice City, due to work constraints but, jesus I fucking love it.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)

I find it hard to go back to the older games though, where you can't do things you take for granted in the newer ones.
Like swimming.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)

Meh.
I sunk more hours into VC and III than I did for SA and IV so it makes no odds to me.

HIGH
VOLTAGE
ROCK AND ROLL!
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:48, archived)

Kchat
is the best radio station on any of the games as far as i'm concerned
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:51, archived)

I enjoy the Kirby titles for Gameboy Classic
Is that close enough for me to get in on this discussion?
(Rainbow Meow, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)

meh
why not
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)

I would say probably, yes.
But only if you inhale another b3tan and gain their powers.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)

Um, OK...
I inhaled Mortal Wombat and now feel the need to move next to a school? (I have no problem with you, MW, I'm just satirizing the attitudes of others. Or something.)
(Rainbow Meow, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:03, archived)

You inhaled Mortal Wombat. Now you have AIDS.
Bad AIDS.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)

Don't want AIDS
Going to bed now to sleep off the AIDS. and dream of marshmallow protagonists.
(Rainbow Meow, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)

Goodnight.
It's incurable, by the way. Sorry.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:11, archived)

BUT BACK TO KIRBY
My favourite was the hamster.
(Rainbow Meow, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)

Kirby's dreamland and Kirby's pinball?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)

Didn't play Pinball but had Dreamland and Dreamland 2
Loved them. A happy time in my life.
(Rainbow Meow, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)

VROCK, VCPR and Wave 103 were the only ones I listened to first time around.
VROCK's been THE only one I've been able to stand this time around.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)

When i wanted music then Vrock was first choice, but i preferred the silly call ins

(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)

Hmm, I may give kchat a chance then.
Depending on what missions I have to do when I restart it.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)

worth a go for a giggle

(

Glovington, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:15, archived)

There's blood and pubic hair all over the studio.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)

mmmm crusty brown ring doughnuts
"I like to lick them lovingly round the outside, and then thrust my tongue in the middle", " I just luuurve the batter. All over my face"
(

Glovington, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:11, archived)

Also:
AAaAAAaAAAAaAaAaaAAAAaAaaaaaAARRRrRrRrRr^d_vaaAaAAAA^AAAAAAAaaaAaaaaaAAaaaaaRRrr_rrRrRRrrk!!!!!!!_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^!!!!!
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)

:D
:D :D :D !
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)

ever fallen in love, in love with someone
ever fallen in love, in love with someone
ever fallen in love, in love with someone
you shouldna fallen in love with?
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)

yes
although, strictly speaking it was more of a thing than a one
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)

can you be more specific
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

Food processor
they say our love can never be :(
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)

it's not a good idea any way you slice it
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)

I was sure we would blend
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:48, archived)

No.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

there's still time JA

(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

I bet MW has.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

Yes.
But unfortunately didn't even get a hand shandy for my troubles.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)

your mum

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)

wow
so people call you a nonce and you take out your resultant anger, insecurity and frustration on someone not so well known to try and raise your profile a bit, but realistically, people of the internet will mock you forever. also, how is my mum?
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)

sour

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)

What a lovely story. Tell it again.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

I have been eating strawberries for the last 5 minutes and they've been lovely
However I just bit into one near the bottom and it was really sweet, then very quickly turned sour, I have just glanced into the container to find the remaining strawberries are sprouting furry bacteria. Ever eaten anything you wish you hadn't?
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

It gets better with every read.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

I'm totally regretting substituting sponge fingers for broken glass in my trifle

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

which way round did you sub them?

(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

Sponge fingers for broken glass I'll wager.
I mean, I'm just shooting from the hip and interpreting glued eel's post like a normal person, but I'll bet he substituted sponge fingers for broken glass.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)

I see
it all makes sense now
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)

Andouillette

(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

hahaha

(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

I was in a small cafe in rural france.
The options were steak or andouillette. My girlfriend told me it was a tasty sausage so I had it instead of steak :(
(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

Gutted
Quide liderally
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

Quide?
What?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)

d ch
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)

Come one Spoider
I was being Mike Read, liderally for charidy
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)

RUNAROUND!!!

(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:10, archived)

G G G G G G G Gooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:13, archived)

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)

oh made, it was a grade pewst
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:11, archived)

Who the fuck is mike reed?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)

Radio 1 DJ on which Smashy and Nicey was based

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:18, archived)

Not to mention Chris Morris's smug alter ego, Wayne Carr.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)

Who?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)

You sure it wasn't mold?

(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

that'll be the one

(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

He didn't say it looked Welsh, so I'm guessing it's not "MOLD"!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA (YOUKNOWWHADDIDIIIIIS)!!!!!
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)

Tripe
Roquefort. Parma violets. Black migdet gems. Brawn. Lead shot. Fly agaric. Chicken feet. Etc
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

did the mushroom work?
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:42, archived)

Im gunna wager yes
but a little too well
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)

I did a big sick and went home
Then I drunk some vodka. Other than the big sick, nothing.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)

that is odd
whenever I have eaten them I have tripped balls.
(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)

I've had more than my fair share of psylocibin based japes as a yoof though, too much to be honest, plus all the other stuff
But that stuff just made me vomit. Too old and tired for that lark these days, and for a long time since.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)

They're pretty fucking heavy going.
Vomiting and feeling like shit is part of the experience.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)

As much as I liked all that stuff
I'm glad I'm not involved any more. It took me a week to get over the last dose I had, and that was at least 18 years ago.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)

Last hallucinogenic I took was about the same length of time ago.
It was very good and I took quite a lot of it but I don't think I'd like to put my brain to that kind of abuse any more.

Unless you count ketamine as hallucinogenic, in which case it was much more recently.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:10, archived)

Don't they call that a disassociative something or other?
Paramedics give it to people on grim traumatic scenes.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:13, archived)

It's a veterinary tranquiliser
The hit's a bit like coke but more spacey.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)

only fools and horses
but sometimes its fun to be a fool. and a horse for that matter
(

Glovington, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)

ketamine is filthy dirty

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:20, archived)

And like most things that are filthy dirty
It's good fun.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:23, archived)

I like filthy dirty but that
just makes me go *eugh*...NO
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)

Each to their own.
It's hardly a regular habit in my case, just a bit of fun when it crosses my path.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:26, archived)

It's the only thing I have
stamped my feet at with mini-me (apart from you know smack and crack etc) as far as bringing it into my house.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:36, archived)

Fair enough.
Have you ever tried it?
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:39, archived)

No.
I have been around LOTS of people who have. And I'm by no means anti-drugs. Just that seems cheap, nasty and careless. Give me a pot of mushroom tea and some biker speed over that. and THATS bad enough.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:45, archived)

Ewwww- speed.
I call that a nasty filthy drug.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:49, archived)

IT SO IS!
But I would take it over Ket. That's how low down the scale of things it is!
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:52, archived)

Speed's awesome, you're just old.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:58, archived)

Ketamine's awesome
You're just scared.

Anyway, why buy speed when I can afford coke?
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:05, archived)

I'd happily take ket.
I just don't know anyone that sells it here.

Besides the cunts here go for the profit margin rather than ensuring their customers have a good time and coke's too expensive for the level of quality they supply here.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:16, archived)

HAHAHAHAHA!

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 1:16, archived)

Casu Marzu

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)

really? how wiggly. was it horrible because of the flavour or knowing it was crawling with maggots?
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)

Like I would ever eat that shit
I cant believe anyone would! What's wrong with people?? Are they INSANE VLADY?
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)

they're worse than insane, they're sicilian
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:51, archived)

PS I can't believe you lied on the internet, I am not sure you have understood how this forum works, no offence
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:53, archived)

I thought it was mandatory?

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:55, archived)

Bless you.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)

'ning gorgeous!
How can anyone eat that? HOW?
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)

Close their eyes and hope for the best?
In other news, I tried grilled oysters today, they weren't as bad as I expected (they were alright really) but I'm still a bit scared to eat one raw still.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)

You great poof.
Shuck it open with a knife, splash a bit of Tabasco on top and then down the hatch with it.

They're actually better if you chew them but I wouldn't expect anyone to do that first time.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)

any more than you should expect someone with a heavy cold to have a good chew of what they hack into their mouth from the back of their throat during a phlegm-laden coughing session
(

vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)

Yeah, see I can shuck with the best of them
But seeing as how I'm usually hacking blobs of similar consistency out of my sinuses of a morning, I really don't want to risk boking all around the kitchen, just to try one.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:16, archived)

Chef chef!
You are a chef! Try it! It doesn't taste like fucking snot!
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)

But it LOOKS like a booger
And you eat with your eyes as much as you do with your tounge and stomach.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)

A chef who's a picky eater and won't try new foods?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Now I've heard of everything.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:31, archived)

Yep, I'm a picky fucker.
But that doesn't stop me cooking whatever the fuck gets put in front of me.

Just don't expect me to eat or even like what I'm cooking.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:33, archived)

What?
You are a shucker too? Get it ate. Shallot vinegar splashed on it. Fucking food of the gods
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:15, archived)

Exactly
This is what oysters should look like.

They were delicious.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:21, archived)

*sharp intake of breath*
*dribbles*
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:23, archived)

You should have seen the view from the table.
How's this for a beach?
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:30, archived)

I don't like you anymore
go away
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:33, archived)

Very cheap destination for a long weekend away that one.
Essaouria in Morocco. Heartily recommend going there.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:36, archived)

I will then!
and eat so many oysters I am sick!
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:39, archived)

That's not difficult.
I got food poisoning somewhere along the lines of that trip. I have a feeling it was probably as a result of eating in a fast-food place in Marrakech.

The other dish I had at the restaurant with the oysters was pasta with a sea urchin and squid ink sauce- it was quite exquisitely delicious.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:44, archived)

I went to a place in Paris
that had platters of seafood. It was huge, everything you can imagine on a bed of ice. Never tried sea urchin mind. God. I love sea food.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:48, archived)

A nicer beach.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:38, archived)

Check the scale of them out.
The one I posted carries on round the coast for about 20 miles.
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)

There's nicer oysters out in carlingford.
They export them to paris and beyond ffs.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:36, archived)

You do know that a very traditional Irish workingman's lunch
Is stout and oysters don't you?
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:37, archived)

Only on the coasts of course.
The further inland you go, the less trusting of shellfish they become.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)

Fuck off with your vinegar.
Horrible disgusting smelling shite.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)

Fucked if I'd ever eat at your restaurant then.

(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:24, archived)

See, I'll cook with it.
I'll even serve it to you if you want it.

But you got parasites in your brainstem if you think I'm letting it pass my lips.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:30, archived)

How do you know if it's cooked right if you don't know what it's supposed to taste like?

(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:32, archived)

I get someone else to try it, duh.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:43, archived)

Used to watch that a lot when I was a lad.
They hardly ever repeated the 1979/1980 series though.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)

Have you ever been ordered to do something by a court?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:59, archived)

YES!

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)

GREAT!

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)

THANKS!

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)

Demis Roussos?
Of course I do- for ever and ever and ever and ever…

[Edit] He was singing at some music festival in Barcelona last year- I remember seeing posters advertising it up by Parc Guell. A whole load of international artists but Demis was the one that stuck in my mind.

I guess that as long as it wasn't held on a cruise ship he'd have been OK with that.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)

You are not alone Gnomey
Sue wants to listen to Demis Russos,
Ange wants to listen to Demis Roussos
and Tony would like to HEAR Demis Roussos
so please Laurence will you put on Demis Roussos.
EDIT: He IS the cruise ship.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:25, archived)

I thought it was a cruise ship he was a passenger on when it was hijacked.
Turns out it was an aeroplane.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:30, archived)

Blimey!
I am amazed anyone else could fit on board!
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:35, archived)

yeah, I had to get out after I fell asleep on one of their beds
and had a wet dream
with no trousers on
or pants
(

magnum, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)

Courts don't have beds.
Was this some kind of bed shop?
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)

My joke would have ripped it about 8 years ago
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4079321.stm
(

magnum, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)

I'm not allowed to talk about that time I fucked ***** ********** * ***** ** *******

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)

It's ok, all the tabloids have named Ryan Giggs by now.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)

*spins wheel*
£500

R please
(

magnum, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)

Animal, vegetable or mineral?

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)

probably vegetable, the way they responded to my loving caress

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:17, archived)

That's really corny

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:27, archived)

Here's a question for you- given that it's unlikely many other people here will know who Seth Putnam was
I was looking at the classic picture of him standing stark-bollock naked with a hooker sucking him off as he jacks up- this photo- when I noticed the tattoo on his right arm just above where he has tied the cables up so he can inject.

Is that really a tattoo of Roger Mellie?
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:39, archived)

It sure looks like the man on the telly!

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:42, archived)

is it wrong that i not only know who Seth Putnam is,
but also which picture that is without clicking it?

I believe that it is indeed Mr Mellie.
(

Paster of Muppets is an incredible screen name, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:43, archived)

Not wrong at all.
Sad to hear that he died yesterday- coincidentally my birthday- hence the interest.

My description of the photo was quite specific- it's unlikely that you would confuse it with any other photo. Same reason I didn't mention it as being NSFW- I figured the description might suggest that in itself.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:10, archived)

HAPPY YESTERDAY BIRTHDAY!!
Woooooooooooooooooo! Hope you had an ace weekend!
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)

Ha ha
Wasn't too bad. Did some work, opened birthday cards, got something in the post that I'd been waiting for (unrelated to birthday but it happened to arrive then) and had two beers and an early night. I know that's sad but I have low expectations and don't really care that much.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:28, archived)

I didn't know who he was but I knew what picture it was before I clicked it because of the explanation of what the picture was before I clicked it.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)

"Vaginal Jesus"
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:55, archived)

yeh, i ignored it tho

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)

I mean what business is it of theirs if I want to hang around outside a school

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)

exactly

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)

you know precisely fuck all about my life
but you're another sad fucker crafting 'witty' replies on a board each night looking for internet validation that you're so funny even desperately pointing out your last comment in the hope of achieving your pathetic nightly goal of getting yet another dry bitchy comment on the popular page whilst you sit in your shack with bits of shite bmw parts strewn across the carpet wishing you could be somewhere else, back in the uk maybe, but can't because you'd be arrested for being a criminally tedious attention seeking fuckwit.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:27, archived)

Woah, deja vu

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:31, archived)

woah d00d

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)

I've been ordered to NOT do something IN a court.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)

fondle the ballboys?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:11, archived)

dont mind if i do

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)

I was told not to make so much noise and stop running about
in the royal courts of justice. I'm such a rebel.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:36, archived)

Yes
However my solicitor advised them that particular stipulation was outside their jurisdiction, so it didn't count.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:12, archived)

Fair play to your lawyer, winning the case AND coping with the pressure of being a single woman in Boston in the mid nineties.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:16, archived)

Ha ha
My lawyer was recommended to me by another firm of lawyers. Nice guy and I've kept all my legal business with his firm. He has stopped representing people in court now but he still goes into the office and provides consultancy for the other lawyers who work for him.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:19, archived)

I know that feeling, dude.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)

What happened was that I phoned the first firm I found in the yellow pages.
Got through to their receptionist and explained the situation. She said "You don't really want to be with this firm then, I can recommend a much better one. Try ringing (the other company) as they're really good in that area."

Never looked back.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:27, archived)

And were her bosses a pair of really zany dudes?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:30, archived)

Dunno- didn't use that firm and never have done.
I don't know her name and never spoke to her again but she explained on the phone-call that her husband had recently faced the same charge as I was facing and that he had used the company she suggested- with a successful outcome.

In my case I avoided 6-12 months in jail and ended up with 12 months probation instead.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:33, archived)

I've decided to assume that all law firms are the one out of Ally McBeal.
It's part of my plan to simplify the world.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:35, archived)

I've decided to assume that I'm the head of the Red Army for the same reasons.
Unfortunately it isn't working out too well so far.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)

Yes.
Pay money.
(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)

Fuck you.
I'm not giving you money just for answering my question.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:16, archived)

Ah well
it was worth a try
(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:29, archived)

Yeah.
It almost worked.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)

Tennis

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:20, archived)

Yes, a couple of CCJs about twenty years ago
But when you have nowt they can't take it off you, so it went away.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)

If they gave you something, then you wouldn't have nowt anymore.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)

I had nowt they wanted and vice versa
Other than some ropey danish shuffle books with blue cirsles over the good bits
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:28, archived)

i order courts to do things for me, once i went in and demanded they all start kissing each other, then they took all their clothes off and had naughty hugs]

(

Lightguy hail satan, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)

They weren't courts, they were Widdecombes.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:28, archived)

No
but if I leave it much longer they'll probably be ordering me to pay my library fine.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:33, archived)

Don't let them bully you.
Keep that book until the six counties are free.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:34, archived)

This might work
if it was a book about Irish history
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)

You think that would work?
I might try it.
It'll really make the provos look stupid.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:43, archived)

They'll probably write an article about you
in the Irish Independent. Kevin Myers would have a field-day.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:46, archived)

I'm banned from borrowing books
from the Bristol area.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:34, archived)

I'm really bad at remembering
Currently the fine is at eighty pounds :(
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)

Wait for an amnesty.
I don't miss my library card. It gave me nothing but fines and trouble.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:44, archived)

I just got a threatening email
telling me they were going to invoice me. One of them is currently living in a wine cellar under my old room so quite hard to retrieve.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:49, archived)

Just block up the door
and they will never be able to threaten you again.
(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:58, archived)

Excellent idea
it can be like Trainspotting
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:01, archived)

I was originally ordered to pay for some tart's kid even though it wasn't mine and my income was negative at the time - which was why I couldn't afford a lawyer and thus had no defence.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:42, archived)

Yes. On a couple of occasions.
Bastards.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:45, archived)

How was your head today?
You reprehensible slag
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:47, archived)

chomping away on a horse would be my guess

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)

Oh I'm glad you're here
I'm going to Cardiff in August, a gig at a student union, think it's near Cathays or something. I want some digs, nice ones. Help me please.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)

That John Malkovich hotel.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:25, archived)

Thanks for your input
But I know fuck all about the place so you'll have to be more specific, ta
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)

www.thebigsleephotel.com/home.asp?hotelid=1
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)

Duly noted, ta

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)

It doesn't actually look like it's anywhere near where you're going though.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)

It looks interesting though

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)

it's pretty close to the students union, both of these things are in town,
cardiff isn't big,
go there if you want, and if you're going to a pub or something in cardiff after the gig, you'll have to go that way anyway.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)

Nicely, I'm in!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:48, archived)

Cathay's China isn't it?
You might want to check the venue on Google maps first.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)

MMMNNNNNNG
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)

and interestingly, i live in Canton in cardiff.
well not interestingly really.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

It interests me slightly

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathay
(

Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)

I KNOW

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 0:10, archived)

is that battles?
i'm going to see battles when they play at the students union.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)

Half Man Half Biscuit
August
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)

Oh yeh, we're going to see them too.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)

Aw shit
You're not going to bum me are you? I'm very pretty.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)

i doubt i'll even say hi to be honest

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)

I was going to buy you a pint and everything
But if you're going to be shitty about it you can get your own.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)

No.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)

Yes, your mum.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:55, archived)

ZING!

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:56, archived)

KERSPLAT!

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:58, archived)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:04, archived)

Yes. Blue Star ordered me to the kitchen to get her another drink.
lolofflinejapes
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:04, archived)

She made me buy her a half
A FUCKING HALF!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)

Half a Kopparberg or half a mild?

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)

Worse
Becks Four. Weaning booze.
:(((((
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)

If I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes, I wouldn't have believed you
Sad times
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)

He did too
And the other missus there did too. It was a dark time.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)

I'm an officer of the court man, so I suppose all the time
I never really check to see what they want
(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)

I CANT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE
IF LEEEEEEVEENG EES WEETHOUT YOOOOOOOOOU
I CANT LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE,
I CANT LIIIIIEVE ANY MOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)

KEN LEEEEEEEEEE
TULIBU DIBU DOUBT YOU
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)

haha

(

Glovington, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)

i can[t believe anyone actually watches or cares about the F1
discuss
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)

Why would I discuss something I have no interest in?

(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:49, archived)

I think we should discuss this point instead

(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)

you wouldn't

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)

Don't tell me to discuss it then

(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:05, archived)

poo off

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

Pleasant conversation.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)

I don't really have anything to say about it though.
I'm watching The Adjustment Bureau. It's quite good.
(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:09, archived)

It is very good, have you spotted the massive plot point yet.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:11, archived)

I'm an hour and a half in,
I think I've got the gist of it :)
(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:23, archived)

I'm not one for seeing plot twists and the like before they happen but this one was like a klaxon.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:27, archived)

have you seen Cargo?
Obvious plot twist that turns out to be a part rather than the whole of the movie.
(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)

I saw that in the cinema and quite liked it. It was better than I thought it would be.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:11, archived)

I read the short story of that, and now can't watch the film
until I forget the ending. See also Screamers.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

i am 12 and what is this

(

mongychops, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:19, archived)

It's an enjoyable sci-fi
with MAT DAMON and Emily Blunt.
(

CowJam, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:26, archived)

What's everyone's favourite Irish drinking song?
Mine is probably Wild Rover (the one about the guy going on his travels and coming back not the one about the massive boat)
(

magnum, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)

Actually
the other one is called Irish Rover
(

magnum, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:52, archived)

I've now put that tune on youtube, a quality drinking song.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:09, archived)

I don't know that they have a lot of drinking songs, I am not sure they're known for drinking as a nation, this may explain the lack of songs
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:52, archived)

how are you supposed to drink if you're singing?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

I can't fault the logic here.
Drinking is a serious matter, not time to waste singing.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:59, archived)

I just can't see how you'd get the fluid in without choking

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)

There's a school of thought that says you can sing between drinks.
However I subscribe to the alternative school which says that if there is a time between drinks, then some cunt's being slow about getting their round in.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:43, archived)

Lily the Pink.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

Nothing compares to you

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

This one.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kn4N4Arp1A
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:11, archived)

All our songs are drinking songs.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:45, archived)

I can't believe it's not a paedophile

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

That's a new product on the market.
Like I can't believe butter but shunned by everyone.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)

It's not a paedophile? You've got to be kidding!
(

vladimir, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:18, archived)

I can believe it, really.
I imagine they find it very interesting. You'd have to be some sort of dumb cunt to not believe that someone watches and cares about F1. Either that or a paedophile.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 20:58, archived)

i think it employs a lot of people, they probably care, dunno tho

(

mongychops, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)

Martin Brundle sure seems to like it

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:14, archived)

until he turns into a fly
and starts banging himself against the window of the commentators' box
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)

I'd like to see Coulthards reaction to this

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:18, archived)

blast him in the face with a shotgun, hopefully

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:18, archived)

We can only hope.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:20, archived)

I like Brundle. He gets very childishly excited about things
He reminds me of my dad a bit
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:20, archived)

Or swat him with a newspaper.
That would probably work too.
(

Lord Gnome, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)

Him admitting he liked Rhianna's music then advising them of his terrible singing.
Is the closest I've heard him to being less of a dullard.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:20, archived)

I dunno, that conversation about birds having shoulders was pretty thrilling stuff

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:21, archived)

I missed that one, I think I might have fallen into a coma.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:23, archived)

To be fair, I think I'd rather have had dead air this afternoon

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:25, archived)

That or they leave and come back later.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:28, archived)

I think a re-run of the antiques roadshow would have been preferable

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:29, archived)

He is like the dad you hope you never have

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)

Oi
www.b3ta.com/talk/7214820
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:26, archived)

Sorry
but have you seen him smile? It's sinister!
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:29, archived)

*googles*
Woah
(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:31, archived)

I think I'm the dad, my kids hope never to have.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:26, archived)

Vice Versa
Wasn't that a chocolate bar?

/food
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:30, archived)

Yes I think it was.
Highlights include, drunkenly lying on the house path singing pizza man, whilst waiting for pizza to arrive.
Falling asleep on the way to the shop, after attending a wedding reception on a school day, with the youngest in tow.
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:34, archived)

Top dading

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:39, archived)

Parenting win

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:43, archived)

This is only a valid talking point
If you would also replace "F1" with "Football"
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:14, archived)

ok then
deal
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:18, archived)

So you were last picked for the school team.
/usual reaction
(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:21, archived)

like toooooooooooootally

(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

FOOOOOOOOOOTBBBBBALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
etc
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)

NFL maybe
that's kinda ace.
(

RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »