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What's your catchphrase?

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 6:53, archived)
Get your feet off the seats, you savage.
Good morning. Just had a lord on my train getting all first class at our expense on his House Of Lords credit card. Still, I got my cut. Thanks, tax payers of Britain.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 6:59, archived)
'ere, bung some sideways, we ain't got lords over 'ere

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 7:02, archived)
We've got Sultans and the like...
But they are all thieving inbred tight cunt bawbags with little being dispensed to the waifs and strays! Count your blessings he seems to have been a prince among men. (How much did he tip you anyway?)
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 7:09, archived)
Commission is 3%
So I get about 11 quid on that one
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:09, archived)
Nice one!

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:17, archived)
I didn't even know your little trains had a first class bit.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 7:42, archived)
That's clipped his wings for him!

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 7:49, archived)
Ours don't
But we can flog them the ticket.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:07, archived)
On here: "*Panders*"
At work: "Come on night / day shift" (Delete as applicable). Or "Can I go home yet?"
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 7:13, archived)
"Shit"

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 7:42, archived)
I don't need a catchphrase.
Every time I open my mouth out springs an exquisitely formed gem of wit, startling in its brilliance and originality.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 7:55, archived)

w sh

Ahahahahahahahahaooooooohahahaha.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:00, archived)
As a manure heap provides the birthplace of the elegant rose,
so do my words act as fertile ground for your joyous fun-making.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:06, archived)
Catchphrase? We don't need no steenkin catchphrase.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 7:59, archived)
I dunno.
There's more than likely swearing in it though. Maybe 'useless fucking prick' or something...
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:48, archived)
Silence.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:19, archived)
a zen catchphrase, I like it

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)
How did you get this number? I'm supposed to be ex-directory.
Now fuck off.

Usually to people cold-calling to sell me financial services or home improvements.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:27, archived)
it's going to piss it down with rain tomorrow
i don't like rain. it's made of wee.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:10, archived)
I'm going to bed.
Enjoy your rain-wee.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:11, archived)
i won't.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:12, archived)
Night Aadvark

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:12, archived)
G'night AaAaaaaaarrrDddvvaaaaarrRRrkkk!!!!

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:35, archived)
Night Womby.
Sleep tight.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:12, archived)
goodnight sexychops

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:13, archived)
Night HATD
hope the garden gets sorted
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:13, archived)
G'night The LOVELY HATD.
*Goodnight panderings*
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:35, archived)
It's going to rain for Glastonbury too.
This is quite upsetting.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:27, archived)
No it isn't.
Most of those trustafarians could do with a damned good wash. It's just a pity that rain doesn't cut hair too.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:34, archived)
Like you were going to leave the house.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)
Can't sleep
Got to get up and leave for a flight in 4 hours, and can't sleep. Why can't I switch my brain off...

What's everyone up to at this unearthly hour?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:15, archived)
going to bed

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:16, archived)
Sounds sensible
I tried and went to bed, didn't do me any favours
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:17, archived)
I was watching tv and using the internets.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:17, archived)
I discovered what the actor playing Sloth from the goonies looked like.
There's also a naked beardy photo on google, which wasn't a slight surprise.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:18, archived)
Checks google...
see you in 5...
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:19, archived)
John Matuszak

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:21, archived)
Wonders what the gf see's in me
when I saw that picture...
/beard owner
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:21, archived)
Oh, until recently, I wore a fine muttonstache.
It was a stache of great mou
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:23, archived)
Mini bokes
Wait, that was just me looking in the mirror
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:21, archived)
Being in bed and internetting.
Soon I will sleep. Exciting, I know.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:18, archived)
Internet, booze and 3DS OoT.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:18, archived)
Have you tried pilot wings.
If so, did it give you eye strain.

I tried a demo machine and sf4 was fine, good 3d, pilot wings seemed to seperate into two images and cause eye strain/headache.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:20, archived)
No, but until I discovered the optimum playing position, my eyes did hurt a bit.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:24, archived)
After playing sf4 I thought, these are good, I can see the effect, may have to buy one.
After pilotwings, I'm not sure, I get eyestrain if it's a bright morning and I don't wear my glasses.

Still, I'll take your comments on board in my descision.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:28, archived)
I have been playing OoT as well
and it's as good as I remember. Which is VERY.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:25, archived)
Oh hi there, crazy man.
Still waiting to be paid properly, don't think I've forgotten you.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:28, archived)
We have a new link for donations now
we need contributions towards our car (which is still going to charity, we just have to drive it there first).
The link is teamherdingcats.blogspot.com/ and there's a 'donate' button on there. Also a blog.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:40, archived)
Any contributions will be gratefully received and also you're very handsome.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:43, archived)
hey guess who's in the fire temple with 12 hearts? me that;s who
i'm so good at this game that link actually came round to my house to shake my hand
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:44, archived)
Despite never owning an N64, I was so good at this game when younger that Zelda herself came round to my house to suck me off.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:47, archived)
Dude, that was your mum cosplaying.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:52, archived)
zelda's 10 years old

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:52, archived)
That's the kind of noncery you have to expect from a cat-lover The LOVELY Frightguy.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:56, archived)
Robin Williams daughter sucked you off?

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:00, archived)
'Xactly.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:14, archived)
I just hate going to bed, there's so much I want to be doing instead

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:19, archived)
I'd like a time machine, so I could stay up all night then go back and get a full nights sleep.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:20, archived)
I end up thinking the same way
then end up having 18 hours sleep now and then to make up for usually having none.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:22, archived)
I just find it so frustrating - all those hours and hours of gaming/DVD watching/book writing time just gone
stoopid body
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:32, archived)
I'm worse when I am out with people,
I worry I am going to miss something! Anything, it doesn't matter what. I have to stay up so I can see whatever it is that happens.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:42, archived)
*insomnia fives*

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:59, archived)
*fives*
Speaking of insomnia I am off to bed. Got a man coming to sort out my backyard jungle in the morning! Night night.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:11, archived)
You can't fall asleep
because what if your alarm doesn't work, or you sleep through it, and then you will miss your flight and everything will be fucked.... Is what I would be thinking anyway.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:20, archived)
I do that when I've stayed up really late.
Wanting to avoid sleeping in.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:22, archived)
Yup
And throw in the fact I left my driving license at my house (staying at the gf's), which means I have to leave half an hour earlier than I was planning on, and and and...
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:22, archived)
Set at least 3 alarms
then you should be sure to get at least one. Are you going on holiday?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:25, archived)
Got 3 alarms set
Nah, it's a work trip. So even though I've been up for most of the day, and probably won't sleep much tonight, I've still got a whole day of work ahead of me. Nowhere fancy, just going from Scotland to the south of England.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:35, archived)
EVEN WORSE!
You can't stay up then sleep by a pool all day! AND you are coming down south! You poor bugger.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:39, archived)
me too

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:28, archived)
Trawling through
wallbase.cc
Looking at all the pretty pictures.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:30, archived)
Oooh
There goes my next few hours... thanks!
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:38, archived)
That's not fair.
How am I ever going to sleep now?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:49, archived)
Looking at buying some new DVDs
any suggestions of good tv that I might not have seen?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:32, archived)
Have you seen Sean Pertwee/Jude Law/Sadie Frost flick Shopping.
Get that, amazon have a good deal on it.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:34, archived)
What you in the mood for?

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:34, archived)
hot wet sex

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:35, archived)
I wasn't asking you

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:36, archived)
besides that's far too much effort

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:45, archived)
Something thoughtful
or some comedy.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:45, archived)
Conspiracy.
Or Trailer Park Boys
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:47, archived)
I keep seeing clips and recommendations of Trailer Park Boys
worth buying? On my list of stuff to buy that I haven't seen but other people like is Numb3rs and Entourage.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:49, archived)
Hell yeah.
:D
Don't know about the other two though.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:51, archived)
Boardwalk Empire
30 Rock
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Misfits
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:49, archived)
Cheers
not a fan of Boardwalk Empire but I'll check the others out. I'm waiting for the new Breaking Bad to begin
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:51, archived)
Game of Thrones too
Boardwalk was brilliant. Every episode felt like an amazing film and I loved how it looked.
I still need to watch the rest of Breaking Bad! I saw 3 and found it to stressful at the time.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:54, archived)
I didn't like Boardwalk Empire
I think it was probably a tad detail heavy for me. Breaking Bad is well worth watching. Really good show, in my top five
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:57, archived)
hot wet sex

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:52, archived)
Six Feet Under
Boston Legal
All the stuff HATD said.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:53, archived)
Apart from Curb hey?
aAaaArRRRDDDdDdDddDdvVvVVvAaaAarrRRkKKKkKkkKKkKKkk!
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:56, archived)
That program is funny but far too stressful for me to really enjoy.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:57, archived)
pussy

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:03, archived)
Boston Legal is ace
haven't seen it in ages though. *Adds stuff to list*
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:58, archived)
Denny Crane.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:59, archived)
a cigar and a glass of brandy at the end of the day :D
this is how I'd hope my working life will be
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:02, archived)
I'm sure it will if you want it to be.
I'll join you on the balcony for that drink and cigar.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:08, archived)
Well it's one of my goals
yeah pull up a chair, have some nice cognac
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 2:11, archived)
Working.
And watching Secret Lives Of Pompei on telly.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:44, archived)
And I just TOTALLY killed a horsefly that flew in.
:D
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:45, archived)
Fuck it
I'll try my bed again... what's the worse that can happen ;-)

Night /talk!
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:56, archived)
You could accidentally use the word 'worse' when you meant 'worst'?
That'd be pretty bad.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:56, archived)
G'night then.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:57, archived)
Oh god
I hope you wake up in time.
Sleep tight Davy!
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:58, archived)
Man I wish Kersal was still here.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-13819764

I'd LOVE to see her try to defend that.

I'd have posted it on Debbie's site too if they hadn't banned me.
:(
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
i think dogs are fab

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)
wanking is fun!

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)
gays are going to hell!

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:13, archived)
Gays are a myth!

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)
am i a myth or am i going to hell?

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:35, archived)
The gayke is a guy.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:56, archived)
Gays are not going to hell. there is no heaven or hell.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:57, archived)
They are The LOVELY Gobbo.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:20, archived)
Not as good as cats though.
But dogs do kick ass.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:23, archived)
Oh Spider. When will you learn?
ALL Dogs are ACE (Except yappy little shitbag ones)
ALL Cats are RUBBESH (Except Office Cats)
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:26, archived)
I prefer orifice cats.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)
YIFF IN HELL FURFAG!

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:31, archived)
Cats are not RUBBESH

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:31, archived)
Oh but they ARE The LOVELY HATD.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:32, archived)
NO NO NO NO
I have 2. The girl cat said to tell you she is going to eat your face next time you come to Bristol. The boy cat didn't say anything but instead ran into a closed window.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:34, archived)
If they're not RUBBESH why do they get put in wheelie bins?

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:37, archived)
It's mad old ladies fault
NOT CATS.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:52, archived)
*THUNK*

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:39, archived)
:-D
he never learns.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:53, archived)
No, you're fucking wrong, you wool-backed penguin-fucker.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:38, archived)
I'm fucking NOT you famine encrusted spud handed WRONGSTER.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:45, archived)
You are, right here:
b3ta.com/talk/7221465

I do concede the point about the barking rats though.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:52, archived)
I'm joining the ganging up on the Lovely Stuj
Cats aren't rubbesh, you're rubbesh. Your face is rubbesh. Your mom's rubbesh.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:49, archived)
Yeah, I'm sorry stuj, but I have to agree with the vocal majority here. Cats are ace.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:51, archived)
AARDVARKS ARE BEST THOUGH

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:55, archived)
You're not wrong there.
I like you. You have good taste.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:58, archived)
Lick-arse.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:06, archived)
<3's you more than ever.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:53, archived)
:(
THE ONLY GOOD CAT IS AN OFFICE CAT.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:58, archived)
WHAT THE PISS IS AN OFFICE CAT?
We had a college cat at PCAD. He was called PCAT. Clever.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:59, archived)
WHAT THE PISS DO YOU THINK AN OFFICE CAT IS?
The ONLY good kind of cat of course.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:05, archived)
All cats are awesome. Shut up
*pushes your face*

I'm going to bed.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:06, archived)
Night-night Lovely SSS.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:07, archived)
BAH!
G'night The LOVELY and WRONG Ess Ess Ess.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:08, archived)
Night SSSSSSSSSS.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:10, archived)
Night ladybumps.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:11, archived)
Yeah, go on, bugger off.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:16, archived)
The amazing escapee dog

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)
It was POSSESSED The LOVELY Amberl.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:21, archived)
Evening lovely stuj
There's an easy test to determine if the dog is properly possessed. If they chuck him in the ocean and sharks don't eat him, he's definitely a lawyer.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:23, archived)
When they said it had vanished I bet it was really walking on the ceiling.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)
that dog must have been a "homo""sexual"

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:03, archived)
all religion makes me want to trow up
all religion makes me sick
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)
I heard that that dog even ate some bacon and didn't cut off its son's foreskin.
Death's too good for it.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:05, archived)

AAaaaaAAAaaaAAAaaAaAaaaaAAaaaAAaAAaaArRrrrrRRRrrRrRrdvAaAAaaAaAaAaAaAAaAaaaAaAAaaAAaaaaarRrrrRrRrRRRrrrk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:15, archived)
:D

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:17, archived)
As if bbc wasn't enough to not click the link they added middle east in there too.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:09, archived)
Do they know how many stones it would take?
What if they don't bring enough?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:12, archived)
See? It WAS worth reading after all.
:D
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)
I was very surprised that it was.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:23, archived)
BBC = Bunch of Boring Cocks.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)
You're just jealous because they use big words.
And have the LOVELY Fiona Bruce, Sian Phillips and Sophie Rayworth.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:28, archived)
Big words hurt my brain.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:33, archived)
But pretty ladies postal.
Pretty ladies with POSH ACCENTS.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:34, archived)
And Susie Dent.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)
Fuck's sake Spider, she's CHANNEL 4. NOT BBC.
GET IT RIGHT.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:46, archived)
My friend is weather girl on our local BBC
you are a match made in heaven!
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:55, archived)
Sorry, but there's only so many weather girls I'm allowed to fall for.
And I've already used up my quota.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:02, archived)
She is going to be gutted.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:04, archived)
:/
I suppose I might be able to squeeze her in for a quick pandering, but I can't promise.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:07, archived)
Ok.
I will let her know. The pander master wants to pander her. She will be up for some pandering.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:13, archived)
DILLIGAF?

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:06, archived)
Why didn't they get a tank to blow it up at point blank range?
They must be succumbing to the liberal Western gentiles.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:12, archived)
Sssh Woodsie, don't let Debbie's posse hear you say things like that.
www.debbieschlussel.com/38599/us-mid-east-envoy-tony-blair-i-read-the-koran-every-day/
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:24, archived)
is it Qur'an daily or Koran Daily?
I just... I just don't know what to say anymore.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:31, archived)
Wow, they really are frothing at the mouth.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:38, archived)
I wish Gilgy-plops was still here.
:-(
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)
You and me both, my friend.
You and me both.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:15, archived)
Me too Aardy.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)
I have never heard
of a dog getting stoned before.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)
It never met me before.
Been at house parties where:
Dogs got drunk.
Dogs got stoned.
Dogs ate E's.
Dogs ate coke.
and I'm sure an lsd party at a friend's gaff resulted in a doggy trip.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:17, archived)
did you take the rest of the drugs home in a doggy bag?

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:20, archived)
Ba-dum
Tish.

For the record, I ain't had a trip yet, not for the want of trying.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:21, archived)
Selfish bastards
I bet they didn't even chip in.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:21, archived)
First time's free, remember?
Though one dog owned by a mate would snaffle anything left unattended.

Then he got eaten by a pitbull.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)
Your mate got eaten by a pitbull?
Fuck!
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:45, archived)
No, the dog.
Well, his head anyway.

Wasn't there, didn't see.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:02, archived)
These lyrics are win.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:24, archived)
MAYBE IT WAS A TERRIERIST

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:15, archived)
Allah hu'akBARK!

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:17, archived)
maybe they'll use cats

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:18, archived)
Oh yeah, debbie's site, I forgot about that.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:19, archived)
:D
I LOVE how Aryan she looks.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)
She's a cunt
I don't think I am banned yet.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:30, archived)
Calling myself Eichmann might not have been the most subtle bit of trolling I've engaged in.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:33, archived)
I had a look at the x men review comments.
They really thought you were serious.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)
Fucking funny though
Oh balls....seems I have been...or my comments are being moderated.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)
Yeah same here.
Though I did get one through oddly.

www.debbieschlussel.com/19192/girl-scouts-teach-your-daughters-green-propaganda/#comments

That post was wonderful, communism, abortions, kids being taught masterbation, the environment is some how a bad thing, much like recycling etc.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:46, archived)
It seems worth
making a new email just to go to there and take the piss. What a nasty horrid place. How ...how...how do those people live with themselves? It beggers belief...
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:58, archived)
I was using [email protected]
I don't think I could be bothered with the hatered.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 1:03, archived)
The comment I posted is awaiting aproval.
I love the hate they spew forth, whilst claiming to be the victims.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:41, archived)
so
what's goin on? fuck the haterz.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)
I think I just posted something
about being a hater etc.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
fuck off you denty brained retard

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)
That mean I'm adopted?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)
like anyone would adopt you

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)
I adopted myself
thus I refute thee
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:15, archived)
i'm goign to the pub
stick that up your bling gland
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:23, archived)
This isn't true.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)
but you have to respect his desire to keep up the charade
i mean, someone that seems so needy, not posting for long enough to possibly appear to have been at the pub. Although forgetting that it is a Sunday evening and the majority of British pubs still recognise the 10:30 closing time on Sunday.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:42, archived)
10:30 the pubs close with you!
that would not work up north
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)
it used to be law
and a lot of pubs still do it because it means the poor staff get an early finish for once. Things change and some pubs stay open late no matter what.
take your stereotype elsewhere, it's tedious.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)
At half past ten?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)
Normal people who go out of their houses would know that no-one goes down the pub at half 10.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:53, archived)
i often go to the pub at half ten,
lots of people do, lots of pubs are open very late, and lots of people work hours that mean they can not go to the pub earlier.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:25, archived)
it might just be the provinces that have pubs that are open stupid hours
on account of every celt being a horrendous alcoholic
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:26, archived)
Plymouth did too
but that's because it's a student town. And students are massive alcoholics
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)
why don't they any more?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)
Because I don't live there any more
The party died the day I moved out
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)
sad story

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
Yeah but you're not a fantasist.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:28, archived)
i dunno about that

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)
Beer and dance music, MW
THAT'S what's going on.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:07, archived)
i'll lie on my bed to that!

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:07, archived)
I'm listening to music on shuffle
and some very bad dance music from a videogame soundtrack came on. Now I really need that beer.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYZXNVHVfhc
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)
*nerdgasms*

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)
That was terrific. Is the rest of their stuff worth looking into?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:15, archived)
TO THE SHOPS

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)
There's an old boy here
That will drive to your house with a van and sell you beer and fags and other items at a slightly inflated rate for the convenience. and he works till 2am.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:12, archived)
Be still my beating heart

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:14, archived)
i'm not sure how legal it is
because the fags never have the warnings in English, and if you are nice enough to him and seem trustworthy he's rumoured to have some illegal combustibles in the van too, but I've never asked him.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:19, archived)
Very very illegal I bet
Still, when you've got someone bringing you booze and fags at 2am, do you care?

What a hero
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:29, archived)
I might make him a cape

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:30, archived)
YES
Super Beero
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)
where is 'here'? and can I move there?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:15, archived)
lovely Oxford
and you can move here, but you can't live in my house, because my spare room is full of stuff and i don't want to move it all again.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:17, archived)
I like Oxford
used to go there to see a mate but he turned out to be a bit of a prick recently so I don't go any more.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:18, archived)
i really hope
that it's not me.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:20, archived)
did you nearly get bumraped by a tramp in a subway once?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)
The second-rate sandwich shop?
or convenient under-road crossing?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:23, archived)
convenient under-road crossing

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)
nope, not me
i only put out for shit luke-warm take-away food masquerading as sandwiches.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:25, archived)
ah, never mind, maybe you'll get lucky in the future

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:27, archived)
My favourite museum is there
I like it very much as there is stuff in jars and shrunken heads.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)
Tesco's?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)
It's a legal requirement
that you have a shrunken head if you want to work in Tesco.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:28, archived)
bit harsh on minimum wage retail workers

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:30, archived)
I don't make the rules

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:31, archived)
if you look carefully in the small print of their contracts
it's actually in the uniform guidelines
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:33, archived)
I had to have my head
re-inflated when I left.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:34, archived)
I don't make the rolls
just the crusty farmhouse and the bloomers
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)
Is this a bun thread?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:06, archived)
You better get your baps out, then.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)
Watch the 'Eccles'ers jump in to stop it.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:08, archived)
I don't get it spoider :(((((((((((

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:10, archived)
Use yer loaf special hulk knees..

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)
I still don't get it. Help me out Hatty D.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)
Do you need me
To battenberg you round the head?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)
Your'e as thick as mississippi mudpie, ain'tcha?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)
seeing as there isn't another one, this would appear to be the currant bun thread, yes.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)
Pitt rivers?
they just took possession of the tall mouse that used to be in the Natural History museum, my favourite museum piece ever.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)
Yes!
It's incredible. I must go again soon.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)
go soon
they have an awesome "ghost forest" out the front on the massive lawn. Fossilised root work of some of the world's largest trees, lovely place to sit and have lunch in the sun.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:34, archived)
is that the exhibition of trees killed by climate change
that has been shipped around the world from one venue to another?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:37, archived)
Yes
You're obviously more up on your museumosity than i am, i hadn't realised till i googled it that it had been shipped around, i just enjoy lunch sat on that lawn
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:39, archived)
I was actually being subtly critical of an exhibition that claims to be highlighting the threats posed by climate change
while at the same time pointlessly shipping some manky old tree stumps around the world, presumably resulting in emissions of carbon dioxide.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:43, archived)
I hadn't thought if it that way
probably because i was too busy trying to not get the mayonnaise from my sandwich down my shirt.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:46, archived)
egg or tuna?
or some sort of [sandwich filling] + salad + mayo thing?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:48, archived)
i don't remember
should i start keeping a diary of sandwiches in case this sort of situations arises again? I'm not sure i have the inclination.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)
yes please, post up details on here, there's been a distinct lack of food threads around here lately.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)
I'm alright Aardvark
(replying up here) had a great weekend. Yourself?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:38, archived)
I've had a good weekend too.
I thought you were ignoring me though and I was doing a :( face.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)
Glad to hear it
I'm abstracted this evening, thanks to drama on my staircase. Stay tuned for more fascinating updates
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:26, archived)
*all ears*

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
^This.
*Is also a nosey bastard*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)
It's what happens
when you get a bunch of student types who've finished their exams and decide to get properly pissed. We've already had a warning from the cleaner as well :(
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)
Are you lighting your own farts
And stealing traffic cones too?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)
I'm not. I'm being a boring twat and staying in my room
because I'm saving up energy for the week. But I can hear the crying of one person, being comforted by a gaggle of others, while loud music plays.
If it's like last time there'll be a staircase fine for the person who shat in the shower, and a warning from college for the people who had sex in the laundry.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)
Haha!
Now THAT sounds like a proper piss up! Someone shat in the shower? Shit!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)
Most people I know
they're lovely, until the 14th shot of vodka and then suddenly it all goes wrong
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)
14th?
Good god. I would never dream of drinking that much.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:10, archived)
Are you properly pissed? Your typing would suggest otherwise.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)
I finished on Friday
I wasn't capable of typing by the end. Saturday a similar state of affairs, but tonight is the calm before the storm
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)
If you're going out drinking then have lots of drunken studenty fun
and carry a rape alarm.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)
July 1st, 2nd and 3rd is going to be the worst
college ball on 1st, where the challenge is make it to dawn after unlimited champagne and cocktails, then straight down to London for a large bash, then on the 3rd drinks with a couple of festival friends. It'll be the greatest test of my liver yet.
Any big events coming up for you soon?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:55, archived)
July 1st is my work night out
where I get to meet the new members of staff.
July 23rd is when I depart for Mongolia in a tiny car. Exciting times ahead.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)
sorry mw, you logged in to the wrong site again.
whywon'tmyparentsletmewearsluttyunderweareventhoughi'melevennow.com is your other link.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)
After all, you've never expressed feelings of hatred towards anyone on here.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)
i hate you all.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)
fuck off you denty brained retard

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:11, archived)
*runs away crying*

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:12, archived)
This could all deteriorate into a messy spiral of pot-calling-kettle comments
If we're not careful
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:11, archived)
Yeah that's never happened before has it

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:14, archived)
Absolutely
I pray it will never start in this happy place.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:16, archived)
Well, I personally am feeling well happy.
The rest of yis can get fucked for all I care.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)
Spoidey!
Why are you so happy? HEY?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:03, archived)
I got booze, green and new technology to play about with.
And I'm not working until thursday too.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)
This deserves a big massive YAY!
YAY!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)
I'm going to invent a tool for getting all the nutella out of the awkward shoulders of the larger jars and become a millionaire

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:14, archived)
The tool you're thinking of can be found in a standard set of wax carvers.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:16, archived)
I have 10 of those already.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:18, archived)
More if you include toes.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:19, archived)
yeah but what if your boss walks in on you and thinks you've been having a dig after eating too many eggs

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:36, archived)
I think people who spread chocolate on bread shouldn't be allowed out

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:19, archived)
funnily i love it on toast
but not on un-toasted bread. Thanks for listening.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)
I think you need to research the meaning of the word 'funnily'.
/helpful
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)
No, he loves it in a funny manner, wearing a clown nose and tellin hilarious jokes.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)
sage like advice, thank you
AaAAAaaAAAaaAAAaaaaaAarrRrRRrrRRRdvaAaAAaaaaAaaAAaaAaAArRRrRrrrrRRk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)
:D
I like you. You're all right, in my book.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:25, archived)
You want to add some onions, then stuff it inside an old bird.
I think you'll find that THAT is sage advice.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)
Not only am I a member of this wrongly-targeted group you mention
But that this member also puts banana slices on for breakfast.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:23, archived)
Are you also part of the group who will eat ceral that has chocolate on, or in, it for breakfast?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:28, archived)
I am not averse to this.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:35, archived)
well if you hate chocolate so much why don't you go join the BNP with your boy friend nick griffin

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:37, archived)
Oh God you pour chocolate milk on your cereal, don't you.
Sick fuck.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:49, archived)

PARTYGOOSE PARTIES 2 HARD 4 U
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)
AVIN IT LARGE

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:03, archived)
AVIAN IT LARGE

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
the people who make nutella will have you bumped off, that's how they make their money.
It'd make a good film, like a modern remake of 'The Man In The White Suit'.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)
This is What's Goin' On
Father, father
We don't need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:27, archived)
Oh look, a new person.
Hello, new person.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:29, archived)
Good evening.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:29, archived)
Is it? IS IT?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:31, archived)
I hope so.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:31, archived)
It is for me. But that was a lucky guess on your part. You didn't know.
I'll let you off with a warning this time.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)
How can it be a good evening, Lovely Aardvark?
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN GOT BEER :(
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:47, archived)
I have whisky and internet and The National, though. :)

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:51, archived)
This makes everything ok :)

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)
well the whisky certainly does

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)
I certainly wasn't referring to anything else

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)
good news here
whisky trumps the internet
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
He may have hard liquor, which trumps beer by several notches.
HELLO, DARLING SSS, how are you tonight?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:57, archived)
I'm ace, I just watched spacemen float through the night sky
YAY SPACEMEN
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)
don't invest emotionally too soon.
they got bullied out of QOTW, i'm not sure if they'll last.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)
Anyone without the stones to last on QOTW is destined to spend their life crying and whimpering.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:33, archived)
I have returned to QOTW and been redeemed.
(secretly, I still find you talk people much nicer)
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:34, archived)
Forgiveness for idiocy
is in itself akin to idiocy.

on the internet
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:36, archived)
Can I be your super secret friend?
I bought us matching bff necklaces and everything.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)
Is this the one that made Tories look like giant arseholes?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)

+more
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:43, archived)
They sound really gaye.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:34, archived)
Oh mercy mercy me, that pun was terrible.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:44, archived)
Is this that spacker we had on here or someone else?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)
God knows.
Spackers come and spackers go. Who can keep track of them all?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:44, archived)
Same spakker, he's getting worse if that's possible

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:58, archived)
I just found out I was morderd has left :(((
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post654795
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:45, archived)
EIGHT MONTHS MIKE!!
It took you eight months to send the soppy cunt packing.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:56, archived)
He really hated me man.
Maybe it was something I said.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:59, archived)
The more I read the bigger I imagine his forehead must be.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:00, archived)
A terrible loss.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)
Aww man :(

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)
That was a fun read.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:56, archived)
Hello.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:45, archived)
watching day of the dead
and being a nerd. Yourself?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:47, archived)

Watched KEanu Reeves deliver another stellar wooden acting performance as Klato, now watching Hitman, in which the gunz and norks are the only bits keeping my attention!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)
I could do with a hug.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:57, archived)
*internet hug*
What's wrong, darling Jammy?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:00, archived)
First father's day without
has been more significant than any with. Just a bit maudlin.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)
Sorry to hear that, matey.
I hope you've had better offline sympathy than on.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
*hugs*
S'up Jammy?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:00, archived)
thank you

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
ok, but I need to see ID first.
Just looking 18 isn't enough.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:02, archived)
You can't hug under 18s?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
It's what comes after
that's illegal
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)
Who hugs and doesn't want sex after?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)
CowJam apparantly
and presumably Sarah Millican
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)
My mum.
I hope.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)
That's not what she told me.
Yes, I went the pathetic route of a mum joke.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
dad?

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 0:16, archived)
*hugs*
*kisses*
*tongues*
*bums*

is that better?

[I realise this may have been inappropriate depending on why you need a hug, in which case I apologise profusely in advance]
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:02, archived)
All the better for being inappropriate

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
Haha, I bet you deserved it.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)
:O
That's mean! I never thought you were capable of such things. I'm shocked.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)
I haven't been on here for a few months
And it's still shit. Watching /talk is like watching the Fountain of Tubgirl.

/butthurt rant over.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:41, archived)
Why did you come back, then?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:43, archived)
They see me lurking

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:43, archived)
This is not really an answer.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:44, archived)
Will more be explained
by the revelation that he also wears a tinfoil hat?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)
That's a big word

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
Only for an idiot.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:53, archived)
Yeah, I was gonna say
but it slipped my left brain's neural system etc.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)
That would probably be because you're a denty brained retard.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)
probably

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)
i like 'denty brained retard'
and i'm going to use it in conversation more often
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)
I can't claim it as my own The LOVELY Womby.
So I'm not sure who you have to pay royalties to for it.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)
i'll just use it sparingly then the LOVELY stuj

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:12, archived)
cunt

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:38, archived)
That would help me to understand, yes.
How's you, Amberl person?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
They hating

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)
He's stalking you.
The LOVELY aAAAaaAaaAAaaAaaAAaAaArRrrRrRRrRRRrrdvAAaAAAaAaaAaAaAAaAaAAaaaaAarrRrrRrRRRrrrRRk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And frankly, who can blame him?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:47, archived)
:D
Everybody's stalking at me. I can't hear a word they're saying.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)
I'm stalking you!
*pokes with a stalk*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
I CAN'T HEAR YOU

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
The LOVELIEST HATD!
*PANDERS*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:53, archived)
HELLO!! Gorgeousy gorgeous Studge!
*leaps*

*hugs*

How are YOU?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:57, archived)
I'm telling EVERYONE that I saw the Fun Lovin' Criminals in Oxford last night lully.
They were GREAT!.
:D
I'm Excellent ta. You?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:59, archived)
so, huey morgan has my phone number now, right?
RIGHT?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)
Huey? Shit sorry The LOVELIEST Sidekick. I thought it was Fast you were chasing.
*Panders*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)
with MY knees?
silly studge.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
You should go to his bar
Apparently he is there quite a lot. You can pounce on him.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
I am just about
hangover free! Otherwise I am smashing. :-)
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)
YAY!
:D
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
HEY
How was the festival thingymagig? Did you see everyone you wanted to see?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)
it was WONDERFUL for the first two days.
On the third day it was RAINOCAUST.
:(
I missed Disturbed and The Cult by going back to my hotel to get a hot bath and some dry clothes.
:(
But I did get back in time to see Rob Zombie.
:D
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)
hotel? hot bath? dry clothes?
studge that is NO way to conduct yourself at a festival.
Apart from that I'm glad you had fun!
Mini-me is off to Glasto on Weds! It's SO going to rain!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:16, archived)
I am OLD The LOVELY HATD.
Us OLD rock types do the Rock Royalty thing these days where we pay extra for backstage access and private bogs and staying in hotels with shuttle buses back and forth to the site and that.
:D
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)
Ok
That's a YES way to do a festival!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)

aaaAAAaaaaAaAAAaAaAAAAaAAaAAAaAaaaAaaaArrrrrRRrRrrrRrdvaAAAAAaAaaAaaaAAaAaAAAAAaAaaaaAAAaarrRrrRRrRrrrrRRrk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ello
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:48, archived)
:D
Evenin', SSS.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)
:D
Ello treacle, how's tricks?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:53, archived)
Tricks are very good!
I have been making further arrangements to drive around the world. I'm scared and excited at the same time. How's you?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:54, archived)
I was telling my friend about the mongol rally last night. She thinks you're both insane and ace in equal measure
I still wish you all the luck.

I'm grand thankyou. The Mr just got back from his folks house with beer. I'm coupling it with loud Underworld.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)
Thanks very much! Thank her too on my behalf.
Beer and Underworld sounds like a great combo. Now I want beer too.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:59, archived)
*Passes Stella*
youtu.be/o_bGZ4ohjDE
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:59, archived)
*throws shapes*
*runs out of shapes*
*has to go across to the other side of the room to pick them all up again*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)
*Big, unending pile of shapes*

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)
Go away again and find something more to your taste then, it's not difficult. There are probably 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 sites on the internet you could choose from, all of them better than this one.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:43, archived)
I would love to hea
r where you got your calcumalations from.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:53, archived)
back of a fag packet, just run out.
go get me 10 bensons will you, cheers.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:57, archived)
I have no idea what the Fountain of Tubgirl is
but it sounds awesome.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:44, archived)
like coke and mintoes probably, some sort of internet meme.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:45, archived)
Isn't it in Rome?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:45, archived)
Yeah yeah.
Die in your sleep.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:46, archived)
I'm SO GLAD you told us this

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:47, archived)
Yes The LOVELY Ess Ess Ess.
We REALYY needed the validation of some worthless Lurker's opinion.
'Ning.
*Panders*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:49, archived)
Hello LOVELY Mr Stuj
Are you having a top Sunday?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
I'm having a very quiet night shift.
So aye ta.
You?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:56, archived)
Grand thanks, surprise beer and dance music

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:59, archived)
Lager lager lager lager lager?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)
Mega mega white thing

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)
HURRAH!
:D
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)
I like this
because it is both witty and relevant.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:49, archived)
As is your mum.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
that's told me

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:54, archived)
Oh how you MUST be suffering.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)
Terrible, isn't it
Poor sod :'(
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
I think they should go to a doctor
and get their head read.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)

to a doctor
read smashed in
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:58, archived)
It's like you've been a b3tan all your life

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:00, archived)

head back door
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:00, archived)
Tell us again.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:51, archived)
+ human

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:56, archived)
Perhaps the only thing worse than /talk
is being butthurt, fucking off, coming back, telling everyone you're being butthurt, that you fucked off and came back, and then boast about all of the above.

For the second time in as many days i say: if you're going to be a /talker, do it properly or fuck off, stop wasting my time and everyone else's time and effort being here.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
*sit's down and thinks about the pain he has caused*

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:57, archived)
how many times have you flounced now?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:57, archived)
I think it's twice now
But I've not fucking boasted about it and I actually see some merit of this board, despite how people like you may choose to come across.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)
steady on eh, it is only a forum

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)
Ahahahahaha
"People like you".

Sorry, I have no beef with you, but that's deeply amusing.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)
*reads again*
Aah, shit. My bad.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)
sorry, Mortal Wombat already got the dig in, there's no meat on these bones left for you
keep trying though.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:07, archived)
^This.
Fucking hell. I'm agreeing with frisbee-boy.
Things must be DESPERATE.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:58, archived)
Ooooooooooooooooooo
Get her up there! *waves handbag*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:58, archived)
wow. proper anger there.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:58, archived)
I'd just like to interject here that Mr Frisbee is correct.
Keep up the good work.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:00, archived)
Every night Friz B dreams of hearing these words in a court room some day.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)
'be a /talker' lol, prick

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)
oh, the ironing.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:04, archived)
Alright Janet.
How's the shoulder?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
tis fucked, ta. Spontaneously cracked again so now waiting on blood
tests to make sure I don't have a leukemia thing before they do hefty repair surgery.

how's flinging picnic plates at overgrown schoolboys for fun on a weekend?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:12, archived)
Fucking hell, Leukemia?!
Here's hoping it's not.
Flinging plates is now in its superserious season. Nottingham this coming weekend, Cardiff in three, Regionals and Nationals in July.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:33, archived)
ANGRY!!!
but correct
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
Also - I like how it took you over 5 years to reach this conclusion

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)
I respect his dedication to his research

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)
That's true, he's probably due his MA soon

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
an MA
in being an internet Dullard. Who's the teacher?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)
*sweeps arm across the board*
take your pick
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)
Piston_Broke
He's surely got a PhD by now
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)
Sounds tasty?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 22:07, archived)
So, if you were going to murder someone, what country would you reckon would be the best one, in terms of probably getting away with it?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)
what resources have i got?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)
We'll say whatever you have at the moment, plus $1000 in used, non sequential notes.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
so how am i getting the mark in the country i pick, do i know them or do i have to befriend the mark?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
You choose the target, and getting them to the location of your choice is your problem.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
cool
i'm an eight year old boy in hong kong, i see my father murdered, , get a stepdad who is a cop, i become a cop, but i find my dads killer, then i fly to london and smash the fuck out of some cunt in covent garden with two pool balls in a sock and leg it
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)
Why does the guy in Covent Garden keep his pool balls in a sock?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)
is it film synopsis quiz time again?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:57, archived)
scum vs karate kid

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:06, archived)
Anywhere in South America.
Where life is CHEAP.
/Snuff blog
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
Ha.
That looks such a massive pile of shit that film.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
It's MUCH better than I Spit On Your Grave The LOVELY Gingezilla.
*Panders*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)
Broken Britain.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
Big Sociopath.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)
China
Those barbaric cunts will do owt for a quid to keep quiet
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
Bollocks they will.
I STILL haven't been sent any container ships full of Ding-a-likes.
:(
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)
She's welsh really, isn't it

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)
As long as she's not a Valleys Girl* I wouldn't care.
*or a ginge
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)
Probably Afghanistan
if all else fails you can blame it on a stray shot from security forces.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
Rookie error, here.
The armies could easily prove it wasn't them, and would take that opportunity to cast doubt on other stray shot stories.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)
I was thinking more security firms
than actual armies. There seems to be a fair few coverups going on
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:42, archived)
You see what happens when you privatise a service that should be provided by the state?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)
Sexy results?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)
No stuj, deeply inequitous results.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)
still funny though

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)
Midsomer
but if only I was black because no-one would ever believe I'd been there.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
I reckon I could do a murder in [INSERT REGION OF CHOICE]
even if you got caught you could just show them a zip or a tapemeasure or a lighter or running water or pre sliced cheese and become a god
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
How would I get my intended victim to that country?
I'd probably pick somewhere like the Congo
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7221098
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:42, archived)
Anywhere
probably Britain, just make enough of the evidence circumstantial so that you can't be convicted
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)
That can be tricky, murdering someone normally requires some fairly definite actions.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:10, archived)
Doorstep killing, ding dong bang bang
run off in a stolen car, burn the clothes, job's a good'un.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)
Need a new password
I flicked through my spam folder and found a bunch of emails addressed to my normal password (Dear i4m5000000l33t, enlarge your manhood...). Time to change it I think! Any suggestions for better one to replace it with?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:18, archived)
**********

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:20, archived)
I know it already
no use starring it after the event! All your accounts are belong to me.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:21, archived)
cr3 and robtoo wrote a script that means your b3ta password is automatically starred out if you accidentally type it in a post

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:24, archived)
hahahhahahahaha

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:43, archived)
well that's clever
very easy to do... I guess at some point in time I did that and it's in some spam database now...
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:43, archived)
Really?
************
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:45, archived)
s'clever, innit?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)

*********************
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)
i bet that is fight club related

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)
good luck with php passwords

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)
I don't get why all these big name companies are plantexting their passwords, it makes no sense, if their data gets knicked, then everyone can gain access.
md5($password.md5($salt));
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)
the internet used to be nice, now it isn't, that about sums it up
brb, smokin a j, u jelly?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)
I'm auight, bit mashed on the sevradol, but it hardly touches the sides these days.
Guess it would be good to get my tollerance down.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)
the only reason i want my nan home to look after is so i get the meds, man when my mum died i got a shit load of good scripts

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
The fuss you made last week I'd thought she'd be long dead by now.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)
whoa, don't hate the reporter i only give you the news as i get it

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
Gawd Bless ya', £10/month unlimited prepay.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)
b3ta held passwords in plaintext until a couple of years ago.
You could view source in your "Update my profile" page when logged in and see your password. Not any more though.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)
They changed it about 5 years ago when I pointed it out to cr3.
=)
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
You're a good geek, Gonz.
Have you had a decent lol at the big bitcoin hack/sellout fiasco that happened an hour or two ago? I was just having a look at their market tickers to see what all the fuss about this cryptomoney was, and as I watched the value on their largest market dropped from $17/coin to $0.01/coin in about 30 minutes.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)
I'm not on the ball with Bitcoin, it sounds like those dodgy russian paypal clones that were used to buy russian royalty-free stuff about 8 years ago.
I'll keep a heads up look at it though.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)
TFDsMegaThunderCunt

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)
Didn't work.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)
It doesn't show up as stars to you because it's your password.
All I see is *******************
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)
Hunter2
/bash.org

//ruiner.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)
retardscoveredin10w40semisynthetic
heyyyyyyy....
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)
Iluv90nz0

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)
Oh no! It didn't work

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)
What do you mean?
It's all stars
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:58, archived)
we are all made of stars
or cowjam's password, take your pick.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:01, archived)
Thank you Carl Sagan

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:16, archived)
sshhh don't tell everyone that's who I really am

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
that's quite profound really.
or not.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
why don't i trust anyone on the internet enough to try this?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)
you're obviously some kind of paranoid moron

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)
obviously
But I'd rather be paranoid of people on the internet, than be scared to go outside.

BOOM
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
bbrlvr1998

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)
***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Oh yeah.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:26, archived)
No.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:20, archived)
maybe too short

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:20, archived)
Way to ensure online security here!

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:20, archived)
OK OK
So... before anyone reads this thread, can they promise to be a goody? There.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:22, archived)
This won't end well for you.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:22, archived)
There is NO WAY this is a bad idea.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:23, archived)
JizBlender5000

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)
Available only from JML

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)
SPUNKHAMMER

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:28, archived)
I hammered a fly to death today
There I was, pounding in a few tacks, and it landed on the wood. A quick flick of the wrist, BLAT, and then I realised I'd slammed the bloody corpse of an insect into the virgin clean wood of the table I was building.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)
Haha, now you've got a flytable.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)
D'oh!
I hope it was a hardwood, so you didn't get a circular dent too.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:39, archived)
He will if it's idigbo or some other soft hardwood.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:43, archived)

L G
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:28, archived)
I don't care.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:28, archived)
Top carelessness, here.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:31, archived)
Fanks Doc P.
How goes your day?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:32, archived)
Not bad at all.
Relaxing in the country. And you?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)
aye, not bad m'dear.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)
Why should you?
'Ning The LOVELIEST DEADLIEST Jenpots.
*Panders*
I saw the MIGHTY Fun Lovin' Criminals last night. They were AWESOME.
:D
I hope you're having a MOST EXCELLENT Sunday evening.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:37, archived)
Hey super stuj
as always you are chipper and you make me smile.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:43, archived)
I hear he's a right cunt
It's all smoke and mirrors apparently. Not saying it's true, just what I heard.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:49, archived)
Shhhh, The LOVELY Bogus.
I don't want EVERYONE knowing that I'm not really LOVELY.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:51, archived)
Aaaah right
*nose touch*
*point*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)
Not as chipper as I could be lully.
Both Clarence Clemons and Brian Haw are dead.
:(
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:59, archived)
brian haw was a cunt, end off, the other girl i dont know

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)
Fuck off you cunt.
Clemmons was God. What the fuck is wrong with you?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
One of the best live performances I've ever seen was Springsteen at the Cardiff Arms Park.
At least he'll live on forever as one of the 3 most important people in the universe.
:,D
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)
fucking hell

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)
Oh, like you've never seen Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)
in all honesty I don't think I ever have, not my sort of thing.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
Then you don't deserve to live.
/Harsh Sunday
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
who will?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)
Clarence Clemons of course.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
You're a fucking disgrace.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:12, archived)
Fuck off Rathen.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
Who the fuck are those dead cunts?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)
:(
Peace bloke and BRUCE FUCKING SPRINGSTEEN'S SAX BLOKE Bogus.
What the fuck is WRONG with you youngsters?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)
you know what i dont like about those guys?
their music

lol

i do really

i just hate you

no offence

x
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)
:(
If baldmonkey was Mod you'd be banned for that you bivvert.
:(
forum banter plenty of offence. IN CAPSLOCK!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:01, archived)
THAT'S IT, LEAVING, FOREVER

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)
bye

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:16, archived)
i'm back now
missed you
x
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:22, archived)
missed you too xx

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)
Flounce BETTERER next time.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)
GOOD.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
Jenpots, I was watching this porno, with about 3 girls and about 20 guys.
They spat and scraped out all the spunk out into a frying pan and fried it like a pancake and then one of the girls ate it.

I just thought, you know, you should know.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)
fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:58, archived)
+ Thrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:02, archived)
sshhh

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)
p455w0rd

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)
p155fl4p5

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)
You'll be thrilled to hear that I finished my first spray painting
And that, if the paint weren't full of dust and dead flies and cobwebs and shit, it'd be perfect so I give myself a 7/10. Rate yourself for something.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:38, archived)
8/10 for spraying the yard with weedkiller and spraying my plants with aphid/bug spray

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:40, archived)
10/10 for winning beer rounds in pub quizzes.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)
10/10 for getting pissed on a sunday evening even before I've had dinner

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:41, archived)
10/10 cheering up my Daddy

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:43, archived)
Euphemism enthusiast 10/10

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:55, archived)
pfft

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:57, archived)
Rubbish beard 10/10

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:44, archived)
I thought you short people were good at beards.
Tolkien must have lied, again.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:05, archived)
7/10
I bought my dad a father's day gift and belated birthday presents, my brother got a belated birthday present too, my mum got a plant and my niece got chocolate and crisps and pop. I got NO presents today. Boo.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:45, archived)
I too have had no prezzies today
Grim times, my tiny friend. Grim times indeed.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:00, archived)
I got a tee shirt
and a book. I've also been to a food festival in Crail, although the disappointing thing was the queue at the Arbroath Smokies stall :(
Still, I have some nice raspberry balsamic vinegar, and potted shrimp.
Also, I'm waiting for a delivery from the local Chinese. Kung Po Ostrich. Yeah! Ost-fucking-rich!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:07, archived)
Without wanting to turn this into a food thread
I got some Aspall's balsamic cider vinegar which, frankly, I could sup out of the bottle, so delicious is it. I made the finest gravy for beef with it that you could possibly imagine. Also, fancy going to Cardiff to see HMHB 25 August?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:13, archived)
I'd love to, but it's fucking miles away
I'm seriously considering Kendal on 1 July though
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)
No chance I could get to Kendal
:(
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:21, archived)
Ostrich is fucking good meat
There's an ostrich farm near Preston you know.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:14, archived)
Yeah, Weatheroak Farm at Weeton.
I keep meaning to go to their shop as it's only about 10 minutes away, but it's not cheap stuff!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:19, archived)
console yourself with the knowledge that now is always the present
and it's the best present you could ever have.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:07, archived)
10/10 for having internet access at home again.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:49, archived)
Hurrah for the relentless search for some porn that has someone who looks like someone you know in it.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)
I need a shit.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:09, archived)
*gives a shit*

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:14, archived)
What happened next?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:16, archived)
A dog pissed on one of the bridesmaids.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:26, archived)
YBF gold

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)
Oh man, I found a porn star who looked EXACTLY like a girl I knew, who would do pee sex too.
Naturally I sent it around to everyone.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)
Of course
When I first started seeing the missus someone sent me a porn link that looked just like her in the 80s, big hair, shoulder pads and that. The woman even had a very similar mole on her back. I was slightly concerned of course, but further research proved to be conclusive. Not her. Probably.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:24, archived)
Epicurean proto-alcoholic 10/10
Enthusiastic if ultimately disappointing lover 10/10
Carer about stuff 1/10
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:54, archived)
Sand it down and start again

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:55, archived)
fuck that shit, I'm denibbing
bit of 1000 wet, then 1500, then some Farecla, and Bob's your uncle, mirror finish. Not bad considering it's the hardest possible colour to spray.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:06, archived)
How many shades are you using on the flames around the wheels?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:07, archived)
Piss off with your hot rod cliche
As much as I wish I were, I'm not in ZZ Top nor ever will be
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:11, archived)
But I've got legs, and I know how to use them.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:13, archived)
Giving yourself 10/10 is a load of wank
where's your sense of self-improvement?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:08, archived)
Accurate self-rating - 4/10

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:14, archived)
OK, I have given it some thought and have rated myself for three things as follows:
27%, 7.34/10, gold blue peter badge
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:20, archived)
I give myself 100% for being CowJam.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)
i give you a 0/10 for that

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)
What are you waiting for?
alt Q: Do you find that pacing up and down helps?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:55, archived)
Many things
Next Saturday so I can see Barry and Stuart
Some point next week to see if I've won Seasick Steve or Paul Simon tickets
Next month for a week off work which finishes with 3 days at Latitude Festival
Tomorrow so I can make a doctors appointment

Pacing doesn't help, I get worked up about some things and it just makes it worse. I attempt to lose myself in trivial tasks to waste away the time.

What are you waiting for?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)
And I'm waiting for a new laptop at work
this one is just fucking me about now.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:03, archived)
I'm waiting for the results of a LOLitical thing that's happening this afternoon.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:03, archived)
I'd love to see Barry and Stuart
Jealous, here
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:18, archived)
Still some dates left on their tour
don't know where you live though
www.barryandstuart.com/live/
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)
Oh lol, I thought you were talking about a couple of mates.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)
There used to be a couple of gay men called Barry and something
who did crafting shows on shopping channels.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:49, archived)
Alan

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:56, archived)
Nowhere near any of those places
And I'm far too skint to actually go anyway.

Ho hum, I'll see them one day. just good to know they'er still going.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 17:00, archived)
I haven't seen much of them
I know they are a bit dark (which tbh i'm not a great fan of) but I am a fan of the magic and they good so it should be good.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 17:03, archived)
Their TV show on 4Later was awesome
But they're very dark, yes. They're also funny. Should be good, hope you enjoy
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 17:27, archived)
me to get off my backside and do something.
and my dinner.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)
Get off your backside and make dinner.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:47, archived)
I got off my backside and worked out how to use ImageMagick's c++ API.
I made a visualisation of bubble sort featuring a bee and daisies [329k]
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 17:50, archived)
Wow.
In that time I've had a glass of apple and boysenberry juice and I don't even know what a boysenberry is.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 17:59, archived)
I need this clearcoat to cure and then I go back out and spray two more topcoats
I'm wondering at what point the neighbours will complain
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:08, archived)
Is it smelly stuff?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)
i hope he doesn't get it on his carpet
he is ver sentimental
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
it's got cyanide in it
and when I open my garage door great big clouds of vapour writhe out into the open air. If you can smell it, it can kill you.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
What does it smell like?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)
death.
BMW Diamondschwarz #181 death.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:17, archived)
I love dangerous sprays.
I have a varnish that I like to use, which should probably be sprayed outdoors, but the slightest bit of odd weather ruins it, so I fgure the kitchen is the best place.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)
2k paint sprays should only be used in a fully ventilated booth, while wearing an air fed mask
which is why I'm spraying it in my garage, pumping the fumes out to the primary school next door.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:10, archived)
let us be honest the poles love a good gas chamber

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:13, archived)
oh top form there mongy

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:18, archived)
when you leap over the fence
Shouting "paint gun fight!" And get the guy square in the mouth?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)
I live in a block of flats
and I've met more of my neighbours in the hall than before, this year. And it's when I'm wearing a one-piece polyester bodysuit, full face air mask and a gun.

Good thing I'm a foreigner, I can get away with this sort of shit.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)

No ofFENCE!






Soz
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)
fuck all, i'm off out in a bit

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)
pub, lake, or cunt who needs his shit fucked up?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:14, archived)
pub, need to collect on a debt, couple of pints then paperwork :(

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)
I like the idea that your forms has an outline of a person and you get them to cross off where the broken bones are.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:32, archived)
it's for insurance reasons, bloody health and safety

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:46, archived)
Nothing, I'm watching Braveheart.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:18, archived)
i posted a link for you the other day

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:19, archived)
I just saw it. Thanks, mongy, I haven't seen many details about the film.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:33, archived)
it was news to me they were even going to bother again

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:40, archived)
My heel to get better.
But I'm going to Glastonbury so that's not going to happen.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)
You could leave your heel at home.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:24, archived)
Me too!
Won't see you there!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)
It was never on offer.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:43, archived)
I'm waiting for aubergines to roast in the oven
for I am making a Moussaka for tea.

Pacing up and down rarely speeds things up, but it does feel as though you are actually doing something useful, which might help.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:51, archived)
2 More minutes
for my lunch break to start
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:58, archived)
A randomburn. I didn't receive any.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:10, archived)
I haven't sent mine yet
but you're not one of my recipients
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:12, archived)
What the fuck? are you serious?
If I had you as one of my recpients I'd be all like "What the fuck is up with Cowjam? Where is my CD filled with randomly selected songs that coincidently go in some sort of sad-to-happy order (or tell a story), with a few chapters of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince read by Steven Fry thrown in so people know that it truely is random".
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)
I haven't sent mine still.
I'm shit. Gaz me your address and you can have one of mine. Maybe with some delicious Crunchie biscuits thrown in.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:18, archived)
What the FUCK Blue Star, What. The. Fuck? Are you kidding me?
This is some fucked up shit, all those people who signed up, they followed you, they trusted you. You've ruined the whole system, a b3tan institution. I'm not saying you're scum, I'm not saying you're the sort of person who makes me loose faith in humanity, I'm not saying you deserve to do hard time for fraud.... And as much as I'd still have an affair with you, give the opertunity, I would think twice about enjoying it.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:55, archived)
You're on my list. It's made and parcelled up and on the parcel shelf of my car
I'm just waiting for payday before I can post it
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)
YOU TOO?
What is this world coming too? I might as well take a fist full of tablets right now 'cus I don't think I want to live in a world where this is possible.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:56, archived)
I'll give you a spotify playlist
It'll be shit.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:56, archived)
A star to fall.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 17:06, archived)
A new thread.
Yes.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:05, archived)
Wouldn't that be lovely?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:14, archived)
I had hoped so,
turned out to be shit though.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:51, archived)
Giant Aunt Bessie's yorkshire pudding with a can of Big Soup.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:18, archived)
I didn't realise aunt bessie was a giant

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:36, archived)
calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories
calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories calories trousers
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 18:23, archived)
What's your best chat up line?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)
I DONT DO CHAT UP LINES, I JUST TALK TO HIM/HER LIKE A REAL HUMAN BEING, GET THEIR INTERESTS, AND JUST DISGUST THINGS.
shut up, dullard, that's not what I asked.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)
disgust things
yes.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:19, archived)
You discussed me.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:11, archived)
Has anyone in the history of trying to get a shag ever used a chat-up line with any kind of success?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)
That doesn't sound like a great chat up line.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)
It got me where I am today
Stinking and sweaty on the sofa with no naked women within reach
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
They do work but only on loose sluts whose goal of the night is swallowing pole fo srs

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:28, archived)
My kindda girl.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:29, archived)
I have no intention ever of trying to procure a loose slut
Again
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:33, archived)
Poor sp@m =((((

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:34, archived)
Dreadful slurs
I'll be grassing you up straight away.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)
That top looks very becoming on you...
Of course, if I was on you I'd be coming too.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)
You must be a parking ticket, because you've got "Fine" written all over you.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
'nice arse'
worked for me
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
Your father must be a thief, because I would like to have sexual intercourse with you.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:19, archived)
I bet you £20 you'll turn me down.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)
* too.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven I would like a blowjob please.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:21, archived)
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:21, archived)

door tv
bang watch
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:28, archived)
My policies are fornication, fornication, fornication.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:23, archived)
Not so much chat up lines but at school I overheard a girl saying she was going to a fancy dress party as Princess Leia
and I said she could stroke my wookie any time.

And another one was just after the parts available for the school play were announced and I said to a girl "I hope you get to be the donkey so I can ride you into the sunset"
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)
Virgin

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:27, archived)
And so begins the start and end of Magnum's teaching career.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:29, archived)
And so I got off the bus

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:31, archived)
Why dont you sit on my lap and we'll talk about what ever pops up first?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:25, archived)
HI CAN I SMELL YOUR MINGE?
OH IT MUST BE YOUR BREATH THEN.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:27, archived)
well done on your fight club front page

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:29, archived)
Oh shit I hadn't even noticed.
I think I'm beating Friz now.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:30, archived)
i wish friz wasn't dead

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:32, archived)
Fancy an arm wrestle?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)
Nice tent.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)
Were you talking about jenpot's dress at the time?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:48, archived)
You know what gonz, bullying the girls here won't make them sleep with you.
You're not sexface, georgy porgy.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:52, archived)

+-------------+----------------+------------------+
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(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:49, archived)


+-------------+----------------+------------------+
| | | |
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(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:51, archived)



+-------------+----------------+------------------+
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(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)


+-------------+----------------+------------------+
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(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)



+-------------+----------------+------------------+
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(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:21, archived)


+-------------+----------------+------------------+
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(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

+-------------+----------------+------------------+
| | | |
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+-------------+----------------+------------------+

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:39, archived)
Well, that was heading inexorably for a draw
Until MGT stepped in and saved us all!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)
Woah that was tense.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:53, archived)
"I me 90nz0 once.
Yes, you can touch me."
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)
*licks finger*
*wipes it on your top*

Let's get you out of these wet clothes, shall we?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)
I just cry and point to my penis, usually works.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)
Don't you have small hands?
They'll make my cock look HUGE!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)
Does this smell like chloroform to you?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)
No, it smells like...
*sniffs again*
is that spunk? You dirty pervert.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)
nice legs,
They'll look even better nailed to roof of my shed.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:45, archived)
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead prostitute?
There isn't a dead prostitute in my garage.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:47, archived)
haha

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 15:01, archived)
Hi, can I buy you a drink?
And by 'buy you a drink' I mean 'have a Mars bar party'
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 14:56, archived)
Bit late because I've been playing L A Noire:
theoccars.blogspot.com/2011/06/bacall-and-bogart.html
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)
Louise Redknapp should not be on the television

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:11, archived)
Are her legs dangling in front of the screen?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)
No
She looks like a gay spoon
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:54, archived)
Unless you have a wank over her RIGHT NOW you are a homophobe.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:13, archived)
That's me damned for all eternity then

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:14, archived)
I remember when her name was just Louise
and I basted her FHM photos with my pathetic dribbles of teenage manseed
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)
I'm no fan of the aidsy look
More meat on a butcher's pencil etc
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:55, archived)
Don't come to Poland then
we don't have fat girls here
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:02, archived)
Rude Monika who cuts my hair is from Poland
She rubs her fanny on your elbow if your arms over hang the chair arms too much. She is also thin. More as it happens.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:04, archived)
My barber occasionally rests her massive tits on my shoulders.
One tit over each shoulder, like some boob shawl or something.

And once she couldn't be bothered to walk round me to cut my hair so just spun the chair
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)
Did you make that cartoon "uyuyuyuyuuyuy" noise
as your eyeballs rattled around in their sockets?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:20, archived)
Yeah, and when the chair stopped
my eyes kept spinning
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)
She has a veiny forehead

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:57, archived)
She has no personality at all and nothing to say with it
It's lose lose with her. Still, I wish I was a quid behind her.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:02, archived)
What does that mean?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)
That woman from Total Wipeout is usually good when Louise is away
and Alex Jones last week was great too.

Louise is pretty much an abortion of presenting.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:20, archived)
They had that woman who won Masterchef as well
she was good
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)
What?
It means that no matter how shit I think she is I wish I was somewhere near approaching her wealth. Thicky.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)
Ah, got you
I thought it meant like being a quid in her back pocket or something. d'uh
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)
i thought it must of been something about trains and food or something, bogus must have changed his mo slightly

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)
I don't think a pound coin will get you very much food on a train

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)
i wouldn't know, i will bow down to your knowledge of this subject

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:44, archived)
come on mongy, everybody knows train food is expensive, air food is rubbish, peanuts are hard to get into and take my wife

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:55, archived)
*Notes in big book of glued eel*
glued eel has a wife.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:57, archived)
Not any more.
mongy took her.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)
It'll only be temporary.
mongy seems to have a little bit of trouble hanging on to wives.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 12:07, archived)
Big Book of Glued Eel
pffft
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 12:44, archived)
oh, I sort of thought it meant you wouldn't mind being a pound coin and getting poked up her bum

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)
Typical. Just typical.
If Wellington had made that excuse in 1815 you'd all be speaking French and eating frogs' legs.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:12, archived)
La noire is speaking french

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)
Good point, well made.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 12:21, archived)
All I'm saying is Napoleon definitely won at Waterloo

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 12:34, archived)
krispy kreme and mcdonalds today
Soz
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:15, archived)
Krispy Kreme have been handing out so many free donuts in Leeds
to celebrate the upcoming opening of their new factory store that I'm now sick of them before the store's even opened.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)
yes, they are shit

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:33, archived)

hahaha I love the ratings here
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:30, archived)
Playing Red Faction Armageddon myself.,

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:41, archived)
I am very bored
How do you intend to cure my boredom?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:47, archived)
I do believe it will include some singing and then licking the back of your neck.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:55, archived)
BM has never licked back of my neck
He's soft on me.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:58, archived)
or scared case you`ll go all ninja on his ass.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:02, archived)
that is also possible

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:08, archived)
or that he wishs for you to take part in a music video for his upcoming song entitled
`mumbles from a toothless man and his adventures with jelly`
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:11, archived)
illegally download To Have And Have Not.
It's ace.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:08, archived)
Might do
Did you get a hand made card and an half eaten pack of sweets from the little ones for Fathers Day?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:11, archived)
don't care - I'm a biiiiiiiit drunk.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:56, archived)
piss off then, you dim tart

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:58, archived)
i cliked on this

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)
just a biiiiiit?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:59, archived)
just a bit.
everybody's home today. How're you lovely jenpots?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:01, archived)
bored and sleepy
I got up early because I couldn't sleep. Now I'm waiting for someone to contact me online before I go out.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:05, archived)
Y'know I've sat here for a minute trying to think up an appropriate response to that which I can type without fucking up.
I can't.
I've retyped this twice.
Y'know I still love you yes? YEs. I do. Where're you going?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:07, archived)
Awww bless, you're fingers are drunk.
Just to see my Daddy, it's Fathers Day.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:09, archived)
it's not father's day here.
But happy father's day to your daddy.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:12, archived)
i only click porn links

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)
gay

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)
fat spastic

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 12:51, archived)
Happy Sunday morning /talk
This Sunday morning consists of dressing gowns, tea, sausage butties and no hangover.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)
are you in my house
Because you seem to have stolen my Sunday. Except replace dressing gowns with boxer shorts and cowboy boots, a real man's morning attire. I have a desire to go get the paper dressed like this, but I like my neighbours more than that. And the old boy that owns the shop.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:30, archived)
I don't think I have
I just checked my leg and it's not broken. Ankle's still a bit sore though.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:31, archived)
did you kick someone?
I haven't kicked anyone in ages. Except myself when I stumbled on the crutches trying to get to the bus like a proper spak-mong.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:38, archived)
Nah, accident whilst ground fighting.
Don't you get cripple pity from the public? You should insist on it really.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:40, archived)
people let me sit down when the bus is full
But otherwise they just give me a wide berth so I don't clout them one as I stumble my way around the place.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:42, archived)
oh man! You are totally wasting your cripple.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)
i'm ashamed of myself
But for different reasons.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:45, archived)
ohhh that sounds like an interesting story.
Anyway, how is the leg healing?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:47, archived)
not bad
Partial weight bearing now, but keep getting impatient and trying to do more than I should. Physio terrorist again on Tuesday and I'm hoping I can downgrade from crutches to walking stick.

Not an interesting story, I just touch myself inapropriately. Unless you find that interesting. Wanna cyber?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:52, archived)
My physio terrorist uses his elbows
I have a right bruise on my arse from where he was trying to unknot a muscle deep in my hip. But he's brilliant and I wouldn't see anyone else.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:55, archived)
mine is awesone
But unrelentingly mean if I don't walk enough or do my exercises. Which is good, I guess, but sometimes very painful.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:58, archived)
Yeah, but better than
a permanent limp
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)
gonna have one of them no matter what they reckon
I'm worried it'll make life difficult back at work, i don't want a desk job if I can help it.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:03, archived)
really? That's a bit poo.
But no point in stressing about it now. Just concentrating on healing the best you can. Then hopefully it will never be a problem.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:06, archived)
thats what i'll do
But it is on my mind,
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:08, archived)
Smug cunt
I've got a good hangover, substantial though not debilitating, 8/10. My missus has gone to french France so it's my duty to be an appalling alcoholic for the week.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:32, archived)
This is the best kind of Sunday morning feeling ever!
I pity those who wake up feeling great as that's the best they will feel all day whereas you have scope for improvement!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:35, archived)
It certainly is. I might even go to the pub at tea time for an overpriced feed with Ms Official Jnr
That ought to wind her boyfriend up a bit more too. I win at pseudo parenting.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:39, archived)
Ms fagilliD Jr is sitting downstairs with her boyfriend.
He's a f*cking Arsenal supporter and English. I am cunningly positioned upstairs in my office where I can hear them as they watch Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back. (I disabled the surround sound so that I can hear a bra being undone if it occurs)
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)
The girl's boyfriend is a chef so we could go to where he works
Then I could show him all about inappropriate in front on his friends and colleagues too. God, I'm good.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:47, archived)
Our turd has been warned that if he goes near her..
I'll cut his fucking head off and shit down the hole in the middle. I sense apprehension while he is around me. His father complained to me about my language, father got some of the same.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:51, archived)
brilliant!
*takes notes*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)
you sound like my ladies father
Who on our first meeting pinned me to a wall and threatened to smash ny teeth through the back of my head. I've asked him for a little guidebook to dadding for any future piglets.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:55, archived)
It works you know!
Eventually they give in and like you, despite the fact that they are aware that you are porking the arse of his sweetness and light. Just play by his rules (or pretend to) for a while and he gives up!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:57, archived)
I did some awesome swearing when a bloke dropped the boy off after he got wankered
Left him unconscious in the street outside rather than push him through the door. I let him know a few new words during my lecture about responsibility down the phone. The next day he left a note through the door at about half five in the morning and very quietly too, saying that if I ever got in touch with him or his son again he would involve the police. Top victory for me there.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:57, archived)
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!
And even if they can, fuck 'em anyway!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:59, archived)
gah... this is my future
Mini-Ninja is growing up very quickly. I'm going to have to practise my disapproving scowl.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:49, archived)
Mine is 15, 16 in exactly 29 days
And is under a misguided impression that being underage does not matter with less than a month to go! She is very much aware that this is not acceptable, and, even after the 16th birthday that anyone even holding her hand better be rigged up like the Michelin Man.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)
Well it's well known
that Mini-Ninja's Mummy has 4 (soon to be 5) black belts in several martial arts. Anyone touching my daughter best be ready to suffer immense pain. *winning smile*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:59, archived)
I'm just a big bastard.
*Winning snarl*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)
i'll just carry a bat
*winning swing*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:01, archived)
I had one bottle of wine last night
then fell asleep. I'm too much of a lightweight to get an hangover.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:38, archived)
I think I had just short of two
I would still be in bed spark out had she not texted me to tell me she was in Le Havre at daft o'clock.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:40, archived)
Text her back and go
Ooh la la and all that shit. Now kindly leave me to my hangover you cow. WUV WOO x x x
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)
I might accidentally send her a pic of someone elses tits
I need someone else for this plan to work, or some porn.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:45, archived)
that was sweet of her

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:44, archived)
It was ace
I said "Urgh what? Yeah, good one. Fucking hell, bye"
Dead romantic.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:49, archived)
hahahahaahah

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)
start the day
With a whiskey in your tea. Perk you right, be back in the pub by midday.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:40, archived)
As much as I like a drink
I have never once woke up and thought a booze was a good idea in the morning, or daylight for that matter.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)
I had two peanut boutter toasts and two nutella toasts and watched the avengers

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:34, archived)
I don't like to do OMG DRUGZ threads
but these solvents have made me feel a bit weird
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)
go get some fresh air and vent the room

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:45, archived)
I'm not in the garage now
and the extraction fans are sucking the place out so that I can go back in with my paint suit on again. But still, bleurgh.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:52, archived)
solvents huffed from a plastic bag
Was always the done thing with the guys I used to skateboard with, tried it, hated it.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:48, archived)
This shit costs twenty quid a litre

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:52, archived)
probably best not to waist it on idiot skaters then
Or use a bin bag for better effect.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:56, archived)
spraying ethanol into a warm incubator, then putting your head in while you clean it
is also a good way to get accidentally woozy
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)
Today shall be filled with doing bog all aside from films, reading and booze.
Lovely
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 10:24, archived)
Shit. Did JMG just kill /talk?
Or is everyone asleep?

Alt. Just ate Daddys' chips. WIN! How have you won today?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:11, archived)
I've been playing burnout paradise
because sony gave me it for free

I ran out of tobacco earlier. I'm not very happy.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:13, archived)
you get that with the ps3+ thingy
but it expires after 30 days..... :(\
so happy to finally be playing wipeout in HD though.
(3 PSN account household = ALL THE FREE GAMEZ)
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:19, archived)
We had lbp and infamous already, still free is free.
Though, I don't like wipeout much.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:28, archived)
I picked ratchet and clank cos some cunt on here said it was good
instead of wipEout. Not very happy with that.

I'm playing burnout cos I've only got it for this month, then I'll go back to duke nukem and la noire
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:39, archived)
we got DNF, bit fed up with it.
arkham asylum 2 out in November.
BAT TIMES BABY
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:58, archived)
OoT and a 3DS, €280.
BARGAIN!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 2:37, archived)
Fuck that.
I was really looking forward to zelda on the 3ds then they go and release OoT on it instead of coming up with a new one. Lazy bastards.

If I want to play OoT I'll fire up the gamecube.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 9:19, archived)
I've got Worms

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 3:29, archived)
I be makin' dollar, yo.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:18, archived)
you can convert that to Kazakh roubles, right?
/'zuki
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:20, archived)
Fo' real, blood.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:32, archived)
wikkid an ting.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:57, archived)
ouch. A biddy bit of fail.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 4:02, archived)
It's what the joyless prick does
Turns up after last orders, types something specious, fucks off, gets upset at me. I think it's because he can't find a slag to let him bung one up. In Newcastle. Can you imagine?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:21, archived)
That must be grim...
Newcastle.. damn. I'd fuck off to bed permanently
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:25, archived)
It's a suicide scenario and not even a sexy one

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:26, archived)
Are yous mocking my home city.
*vaguely raises ire*
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:29, archived)
Yeah shut up innit

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:32, archived)
Why I oughta.
Type some words into these boxes that expresses my intentions of a some point perhaps, maybe getting my dander up.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:37, archived)
Whothewhatnow?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:42, archived)
Just doing the explanations of internet anger in a half hearted way.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 2:08, archived)
No
I'm taking the piss out of spazzy brian. god I could eat some chips
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:32, archived)
Phew, just making sure, I guessed that's what you meant but you have to make sure, you know how these things are.
Oh, it's looking like next month for that drinks business.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:39, archived)
HURRAH

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 2:05, archived)
Erm, I haven't really but y'know, its fathers day tomorrow.
I'll be getting things.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:27, archived)
You hope

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:29, archived)
Hell, no, I know I'm getting things, I picked some of the things.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:30, archived)
demands from the csa?
/zuki again
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:34, archived)
Actually, oddly enough, my wife's ex has one of those.
So we should see some cash soon.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:37, archived)
Don't bank on that
If she's working they're not interested. Got the fucking t-shirt for that one
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:57, archived)
We've had money before, this is a last owed payment.
They contacted us about it.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 2:07, archived)
Fair play.
More than I ever got. I worked, he didn't then he did. Shit happens I suppose.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 2:15, archived)
Just keep plugging away, the more you contact them the more they speed things through.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 2:32, archived)
I doubt I'll get anything except a card.
Last year was much better. Family lived close and bought me many things. This year nearly everyone moved hours away. Pricks.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 5:54, archived)
I touched myself in the shower.
That was nice.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 5:51, archived)
Right, I'm off to bed.
Great night's banter.
I hope you all have a pleasant evening..

Night b3tans!
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:42, archived)
Night, the la noire dlc is pretty good.
On the naked city vice case at the moment, good stuff.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:49, archived)
I got la noire on the ps3
and I don't quite trust it enough to give it my card details :(
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:11, archived)
Ah, well buy one of those code voucher things
25 and 50 quid blocks.

I prefer xbox for the acheivements, over bland looking trophies.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:26, archived)
which kind of person are you?
one: if in doubt, leave it out
or
two: if you're not in you can't win
?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:41, archived)
I won't be defined by your boundaries maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:42, archived)
i honestly don't understand the question, remit?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:43, archived)
The kind that believes if you're going to do something
Either do it properly or fuck off and stop wasting my and everybody else's time and effort.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:43, archived)
don't give me attitude you frisbee throwing fuckwit

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:45, archived)
fair point

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:46, archived)
Hey woah I wasn't actually talking about you though.
Jeez, sensitive much?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:07, archived)
*BUMS*

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 2:42, archived)
I'm a type one
and not diabetes either innit
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:45, archived)
and also a lovely
how is the lovely neddy?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:46, archived)
I'm fucking amazing MW
How are you?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:50, archived)
good. popping out in a sec
it's all go here at wombat towers
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:54, archived)
Have some fun for me
I'm done for the night. It's been great though.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:00, archived)
sweet dreams the lovely neddy, and, congrats xx

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 1:02, archived)
alright kids, tell me your problems, i will solve them

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)
Should I stay or should I go?
If I go there will be trouble, but if I stay it will be double. I'm so confused mongy.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)
turn around bright eyes

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
turn around 360 degrees and walk away

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)
Alright fuckface?
I tagged a pic of you on lolbookface. Had any haggis yet?
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)
I like haggis.
Spicy and tasty.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)
I had a haggis supper at lunchtime in Moffat
And have spent the evening drinking Tennent's lager and pretending to be interested in watching the golf with my dad and chatting to Edith Bowman's cousin.
Good times!
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:44, archived)
Woah, you're like also famous.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)
You may touch me...now.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)
*touches you on the hand*
I feel all the better for having basked in your glow.

saying that, I once met Sid Wadell.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)
JOSSY'S GIANTS!

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)
Damn right.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:10, archived)
sid went to cambridge didn't he? good lad

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)
Not sure but he had loads of entertaining stories.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:11, archived)
yeah he did, amazing what a good education can do

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)
Super T?
I bet it was you Scotch wannabe.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)
I wish!
That's tomorrow evening's entertainment.
Sat at the bus stop with a purple tin, shouting at passers-by.
It's amazing how soon one assimilates with the natives
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)
But... but... tennants is SHITE.
Try Brew dog. Brewed where I live. In fact. My sister was sacked from there just last week. Haha.
Punk IPA is meant to be fantastic.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:53, archived)
It is, I bought a couple packs a few weeks ago. Bleddy good stuff.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)
10 minute walk from my house... never tried any of them.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
Meh, I can get that from my local Tesco in Blackpool!
I'm currently living the dream sipping a nice single malt and considering going to bed.
I'm impressed that the place has wi-fi, but O2 signal is shite :(
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)
Which malt?
Where's mine?

Can you not get Tennants in Blackpool?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)
Probably in the Jaggy Thistle
but then again, I'd have to deal with Scottish people in Blackpool, which is a whole different ball game to Scottish people in Scotland. :)

EDIT - Singleton's of Dufftown :)
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)
Oh aye. I drove past there a month or two ago.
Never tried it though. There are half a dozen within 1-2 hours from me.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)
Every now and then I fall apart.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)
Hoots mon!

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)
Gone native have you?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:51, archived)
Aye :)

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)
Pity you are too far South to get a buttery (rowie) for your breakfast.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)
I'm all about the lorne on morning rolls in the morning. Oh yes!

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)
YES

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:11, archived)
Sad Times today, proper gutting...
b3ta.com/talk/7220447

Seeing the daughter tomo to just be there for her, like she was when my Dad had the same thing. The wife/son are in the states so she's with her aunty but tomo she's going to my Ma's and I couldn't think about what to do/say so I made a tart-ta-tan thing so when they have people over they have a little something.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)
nah, i don't get this, looks like shit

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)
Donno where you're going with this one, whatcha mean?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)
i do not care one bit i suppose

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)
bad times

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)
Yup

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)
I want to see the Senna film on monday but don't really want to go on my own.
I know people going to cinemas on their own is frowned upon but as this is a motoring film it might be different. I can probably take the missus along but there could be a chance I'll cry and I cannot allow her to see that I actually have emotions.

What to do, Chops?
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)
I'll go.
Evening internet
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)
fuck off

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)
Thank fuck you're here Mongy.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)
dont go to see a film about a wanker

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)
Has your girlfriend expressed an opinion on going to see this film?
Would it make a difference if she does?
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)
She likes F1 so wouldn't have a problem with going.
It's all a moot point now anyway. www.b3ta.com/talk/7220571
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)
He's just grumpy because he hasn't spent the day at the races.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)
I went pictures on me tod for the first time when the latest x-man came out a few weeks ago.
I loved it, it felt quite empowering getting over a personal social anxiety, it was no big deal, the cab on the way there did the old "Don't you have any girl/friends?" thing, but screw them, I used to work there, they're pricks.

Only thing I didn't like was they ran out of the fizzy slush puppy which was one of the reason why I went, but I totally digged it and will be doing it a lot more.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)
I'd be too tempted to have a crafty wank if I went on my own though and it would distract me from the film.
Cool, didn't know they did fizzy slush puppies.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:48, archived)
While you watch Ayrton Senna on his way to his premature death?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)
Or do you mean if you were watching X-men?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)
Whichever is less sick to be honest.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
It's well lush, comes in pink or blue, I think its made by Tango these days but they used do them at Quazar when I was a kid.
It's a sad time when you do the popcorn willy trick and there is no one there to help so you just have to do it yourself and then you wonder why you bought the popcorn in the first place.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:53, archived)
I don't really like popcorn so I'm more likely to try that trick in a bag of Krax.
I think the stuff is called Krax. Is it? I don't really like eating at the cinema though. Then again I did share some nachos last time I went.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:03, archived)
Donno what Krax is, don't have a clue.
I think next time I go I won't eat, or maybe just take a tube of wine gums or something. Too expensive.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:23, archived)
No problems.
Royal Ascot was good. Apart from the rain yesterday.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:42, archived)
Any bets come in?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)
Immortal Verse yesterday and Fox Hunt today.
Some bits and pieces for place money. It's not been a bad couple of days. It didn't want to be after the Epsom disaster.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)
Oh Mongy. Where do I start?
Why do I hate shopping and chocolate so much? I can't possibly be female with such an affliction.. WAH!!!
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:42, archived)
I like shopping and chocolate, yet have a penis.
The world order is restored
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:44, archived)
I like chocolate and penises,
but not at the same time.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)
I also enjoy the acts of chocolate eating and goods/services purchasing.
We must be like twins.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)
And not while I'm shopping.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)
yeah, you are gay, we get it, no need to ram it and that shit

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)
You're all gay
fuck off. Bum fuckers.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)
Nice one.
There's nothing this board needs more than a dose of homophobia.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:09, archived)
it would be better off for it, and some racism, place is stale, i try and keep up the misogyny but, fuck you gaylord

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:19, archived)
I didn't say there was anything wrong with the brown love now did I?
You're reading too much into it gay
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:36, archived)
I have a burning desire.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:44, archived)

Dear Uncle Mongy,

My problem is that I just laughed until I was doing that silent shaking thing reading the online farting competition thread lower down the page, does this make me a weirdo? Will the other girls in the lower sixth still speak to me?

Yours, Worried Bros Fan xxx
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:44, archived)
yeah, i dunno, wat
               _/o
\_)\_
\_ \)
)/
(_\

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)

top agonying, would ask again
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)
My left nostril is slightly congested

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
i hope you die before sunrise

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:55, archived)
Why, Mongy?
Why?
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
look, i dont like you and you dont like me, let us just leave each other alone on this forum and move onwards

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)
Can't we put it all behind us, start again?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:03, archived)
i very much doubt it, never needed one before

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)
FINE

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)
Mine too!
Omg!
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:55, archived)
kinell!
Otrivine for supper. Yo shitlegs, I sold someone a ticket to Cov today AND told them where to stay. Have a word with the mayor about my commission. Ta.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)
Cruel cunt.
Out of curiosity, where did you tell them to stay?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:03, archived)
Britannia
Ugly outside, nice inside. Good business hotel.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:05, archived)
Blimey.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)
Why are you bliming?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:12, archived)
The poor fucker is already having to stop in Coventry and you've sent him to a shithole opposite the bus station and with a nice view of the ring road.
Still, it's handy for the bingo and the red light district is just across the car park.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)
It's ok for £50 b&b
And you're never going to see wildebeest sweeping majestically...etc. It's Cov.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)
i'd just go for the bingo, cheaper and still get loving

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)
Woah, it's bingo night? you haven't gazzed me my card yet.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:28, archived)
bingo died, last time i had about 4 players

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:34, archived)
I just sneezed and my face exploded.
Snot flew everywhere and my eyes started streaming.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)
I think you've been shot

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)
If only I didn't know you're not making this up.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)
If I'd even had a bit of warning the sneeze was coming.
But no, it was instant and powerful.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:20, archived)
everything is fine
Thanks for asking
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)
your really shit, will you become funny or are you here to get facebook friends?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)
i'm here
From there I hadn't made a plan. But I do fucking LOVE Facebook. X
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)
IN DENIAL

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:03, archived)
i've never been to egypt
Badum tish.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)
frozen waitrose garlic baguettes are inferior to morrison's which are inferior to tescos
I thought I should inform everyone

too little garlic butter, though they are the only garlic baguette I have encountered that will break cleanly across the cuts without taking a piece of the adjoining cell with it
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:10, archived)
make your own garlic butter and buy a fucking baguette
You picky cunt. Could you do better? Could you?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:12, archived)
why would I do that when I can just buy it frozen windy pig
why do you want to fuck over the families of the cutters and the butterers, why do you hate the working class so?
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:17, archived)
i don't hate them
I just feel that by making their life as hard as possible I'm challenging them to do better and in my own liitle way improving society one povvo at a time.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)
I've been saying that on here for YEARS glued eel!

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:15, archived)
it's people like windy pig that are the problem, they think they can do everything themselves
you can't be a doctor and a mechanic and a pilot and a garlic bread baker
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:19, archived)
i think you can, unless you are a women/black/poof

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:21, archived)
come back and say that when your appendix scar is full of garlic butter

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:23, archived)
is your remit presumptuous?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:29, archived)
can that go into frozen bread?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:33, archived)
It's those types that destroyed britains industry.

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:26, archived)
Alright then
I've been working for hours and have just stopped because I realised it's way past midnight.

I am knackered but can't go to bed because I know when I close my eyes I will see spreadsheets.

In the grand scheme of things, I know it's not a massive problem like, you know, world hunger and stuff, but it's annoying.

Also, good evening, Mr Chops.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)
looks like a statement , do you have a problem?

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:17, archived)
I was skirting around the issue and hoped you would notice the subtle undertones
I have this embarrassing itch.
(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)
beyond my remit

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:26, archived)
You're a bit rubbish at this Marjorie Proops business

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:33, archived)
bit rough, i'm doing my best

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:35, archived)
I've run out of tabs

(, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 0:35, archived)
I'd quite like a tank.
What old vehicle would you quite like?
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)
Ekranoplan

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)
and an A10

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)
Is that a Citroen?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)
Yeah

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:58, archived)
Citroen drivers make me laugh
they must go into the car showroom and ask for the ugliest car there
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:01, archived)
Not as bad as a fiat multipla though

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:10, archived)
Citroen are one of the few manufacturers out there who don't follow the Dropped Ice-Cream school of design
after 35 years of wank, they've started to make interesting cars again.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:37, archived)
The DS3 is quite nice

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 22:00, archived)
Tiger mk1 tank
Ju87. Kettenkrad. Me262. Hawker Sidley Harrier. And a 1936 Hispano Suiaza
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)
Yeah, I reckon the old soviet tanks woud be best, as they're easier to maintain, but they're built for midgets.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)
You still seem some rolling around Warsaw
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-34_medium_tank
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:40, archived)
Can't find their way home?
Probably women drivers, eh?
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:45, archived)
Two tanks.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)
you should go to Tanks Very Much
the new tank surplus store just off the M4 part trade ins available payment over two years your home may be at risk
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:40, archived)
Triumph Stag or Triumph Spitfire or 1970's Mini or one of those Smart cars that look a bit like a sport car.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)

Triumph Stag or Triumph Spitfire or 1970's Mini or one of those Smart cars that look a bit like a sport car
Noddy's little yellow car
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:17, archived)
your mum

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)
i've heard she's an old banger!! *spinning bowtie*

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:38, archived)
Smooth ride, Gets two in the front, two in the back
Headlamps need fixing though. Permanently dipped.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:51, archived)
*slide whistle*

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 22:19, archived)
dunno, this doesn't really interest me

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:52, archived)
beyond your remit?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
No, I lied
I want a Reliant Scimitar, a Jensen Interceptor, a Tatra 603, a Mk I Ford Transit, a Haflinger a Morgan 4/4 and a Vauxhall Magnum 2300.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:26, archived)
Tell us about your bivvy, then.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)

Mrk 1 escort with cosworth engine.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
Or a harrier jump jet
I hear the M.O.D is selling them off for a song just now.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:03, archived)
Over-rated load of old shit
Although Old Nail is up for sale
www.bonhams.com/eur/auction/19286/lot/477/
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:27, archived)
Ford Capri 2.0S
LIKE BODIE AND DOYLE
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)
They had 3.0 S

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:58, archived)
LIES!

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)

www.capriclubni.co.uk/pro/pro.htm

Click any image, then click 3rd row down, second from left. 3.0S
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:11, archived)
In your face

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:20, archived)
What's that?
Oh nothing, SHAME FACED.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)
I think you'll find if you watch this clip with Lewis Collins
from the Bob Mills show in 1997 you'll see a 2 litre capri!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGYGCvlGOHs
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:38, archived)
In your face

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:40, archived)
Actually I stand corrected
It was a 3.0
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:47, archived)
YES
VICTORY

I CAN GOOGLE BETTER THAN YOU (honestly, I had no idea it was a 3.0s until I looked on internet)
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)
which was a shitter engine than the 2.8

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:35, archived)
battleship

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)
space shuttle

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:59, archived)
Spitfire
or a Hurricane, or a mark 1 escort mexico
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:00, archived)
batmobile

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:06, archived)
or a Datsun Sunny

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)
Nissan Cherry

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:10, archived)
Datsun, Marathon and Opal Fruits

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:11, archived)
FIVE GOLD RINGS

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:17, archived)
haha...nice

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:18, archived)
whatever was around before they invented the wheel

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:09, archived)
what you need is a load of logs laid down next to each other
Running from your house to every location in the country. Then you can roll everywhere.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:15, archived)
yeah, that would work. i'll dig out my old chainsaw.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:19, archived)
The joystick.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:19, archived)
a horse with a 16 cylinder engine, 4 turbochargers and wheels

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 21:44, archived)
VW Camper van.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 22:28, archived)
Reliant robin

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 22:34, archived)
Mint condition Ford Fiesta XR2.
Mark I with the round headlights and separate indicators in the bumper.
Always wanted one, WILL HAVE ONE EVENTUALLY
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)
ONLINE FARTING CONTAST
*paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarp*
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 18:51, archived)
ffftthhhzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZT!

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 18:52, archived)
*QUACK*

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 18:53, archived)
FOOOOOOM

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 18:58, archived)
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
Awww.. :(
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 18:52, archived)

*SQUEAK!*
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 18:55, archived)
Christ, that fucking REEKS.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)
I don't find farting particularly amusing.
And what's a contast?
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 18:57, archived)
just enjoy the onomatopoeia of it all

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 18:58, archived)
It's not supposed to be amusing.
This is a serious sport.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:02, archived)
It's a contest in Belfast.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:28, archived)
Fun lovin criminals The LOVELY Gingezilla
Ha! I'm already on my 2nd pint and they don't start for an hour
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)
No.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)
Here's an offline farting contest.
twitpic.com/5ddmqs
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:08, archived)
The Jews after they got washed with a red sock

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:15, archived)
RUSKS

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:09, archived)
WAKI

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:30, archived)

ALSO
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)

gobarbra.com/hit/new-29186b20c32094977a35d923b7a84af6
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)

gobarbra.com/hit/new-289751f2cd04c472adb41a14f8086987
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)

gobarbra.com/hit/new-a96f02dd9a12a0f6e813f050f167e3b0
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)
I prefer 'Dead Man's Porn' as an album name

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:37, archived)
*queef*

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:13, archived)
*fraaaap*

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:23, archived)
*meep*

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:23, archived)
Road runner windy pops

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)
*spins legs in the air*
*disappears in a cloud of smoke*
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)
*sets acme dynamite*
*explodes*
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:29, archived)
GET. A. ROOM.
oh, wait...
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)

Pfffffffffshluuuurrrrrrp ah the follow throu
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:26, archived)
Who's this one, then?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:28, archived)
Probably not Hugh Heffner.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)
True, but who among us is?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)
Glued eel.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)
Wormulus?
I thought it was always him. Or friz.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)
gh

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:35, archived)
*airborne toxic event*

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:36, archived)
Quack.

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:49, archived)
*burp*

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)
*pluplupluplupluuuuurrrrrrrrrrlllllllppppppppp.....plup*

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)
Did you just follow through?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
i'm gonna go check.
I hope not, I'm going to the pub in a minute and these are my only dry pants.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
I thought you were laid up with a gammy leg?

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)
LIES??? ON THE INTERNET???

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
can go on the crutches to the pub
It's only up the road. It's been 4 weeks, partial weight bearing bitches.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:16, archived)
Cool.
Be careful about getting drunk and thinking you can walk on it
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:21, archived)
i'm still not drinking really
Last thing I wanna do is fall over and fuck it up any more. That'd just be embarrasing ending up back in hospital, I'm bad enough for the NHS riding a motorbike without being an idiot drunk as well.
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:24, archived)
The NHS loves bikers!
You're not called organ donors for nothing :D
(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)
oh god I have the network cable stuck, the lever is acting like an umbrella up a chimney

(, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 20:24, archived)

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