b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Archive 11663 (Older | Newer)

oh well
something actually quite funny instead

www.collegehumor.com/video:1912670
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)
fuck off SickRik

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)
PAEDOPHILE

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)
yeah, you got me there, I totally have sex with peas
as a matter of fact, I've got one stuck down my urethra right now
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)
Mmmm, nobbly.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:19, archived)
bobbly,
for YOUR pleasure
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:20, archived)
Oi you
Did you make phone calls today?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)
I did. My case is being referred to a solicitor.
if you are not about to go to bed, i might ring you if I can?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)
Ring me any time you like

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)
nobody calls me, i'm rigjt smart and everything

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)
I dabbled in peas
now I'm up to twenty broad beans a day now for the same fix of urethral stimulation.

:(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:19, archived)
feck off, cup.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)
I LOVE MY BRICK

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)
I'm not clicking that.
Sorry again, Rik.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)
Can we get back to the business in hand.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:19, archived)
my devastating cancer?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)
Maybe they'll come up with a cure soon.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)
there is always hope!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)
Did that biofeedback not work?
I thought it would be a success :(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)
i now have complete control over my bowels.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)
This is a step in the right direction.
Cancer will feel like a right twat before long.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)
what you need to do is ask Jesus to cure you
that usually works

maybe we can organise a fundraiser to get you to Lourdes
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)
Surely someone on here knows him personally and is owed a favour?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)
can i go to Lord's instead?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)
Hahahahaha!
I wish there was a 'I love this' button for that post!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:19, archived)
Can we get a link for love/hate this user?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:20, archived)
Oh for GOODNESS sake.
We were going to take advantage of the scrappage allowance thingy to buy a new car.
Your car needs to have been registered before the 31st august 99, we rooted out the registration documents, and his car was registered on the 8th september 99! One week! Doh.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)
What kind of car is it and how bad a state of repair is it in?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:52, archived)
so what do we all think
of google chrome then?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:55, archived)
We don't care

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:55, archived)
no one cares you dull orange prick

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)
I'm glad a new thread was made for this topic.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)
Not gonna lie to you, Rik.
I don't really have an opinion on it.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)
I'm hopping on the bandwagon.
What Where who why?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)
I've been using it for a while
It looks pretty and it isn't IE, do nobody will bully me for choice of browser.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)
*puts hand up*
me me me me!

it's rubbish. ha. bet you feel bad now, Mr.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)
nosy cunt.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)
Nosey.
you twat.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)
get the shit off my subfred

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)
fuck you and the horse you rode

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)
in on

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)
mnnggh
i bet you wear sandals like gonz an all :P
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)
NO-ONE
wears sandals like gonz. there's a certain kind of wrongness that is totally his.

yes
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:19, archived)
I just took a picture of my sandalled feet.
i had socks on and everything.
it came out shite and ruined the joke. cock.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)
I don't think I've ever heard of it.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)
you should download it and install it then form an opinion on it then tell Sickrik to fuck off
that'd be the best plan
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)
K-Meleon is a lot faster and much less bloated than Firefox.
Hooray for K-Meleon. It's not taking minutes to refresh any more, or to add new text to the subject line.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)
I'm giving this a try right this very moment.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:20, archived)
uses about 30% of the resources too
much lighter
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:22, archived)
I've just been reading about the kerfuffle when they asked artists to provide skins for it for free.
I've never used it though. I like Firefox and have set it up exactly how I like it.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)
I like it way more than Firefox.
Chrome never took me 3 weeks to fuck around with addons either...
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)
I just made a stir fry.
my first ever. It tastes like a chefs wet dream.

Who wants to touch me?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)
I like ladies' bottoms quite a fair bit

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:42, archived)
which bit?
the cheek or the (w)hole?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)
ladies' bottoms

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

ie
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:49, archived)
i bet you like to suck the poo out of them
you squeeze their bellies like they're a tube of toothpaste then gobble it all up
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:46, archived)
I'm sending that post to the producers of Torchwood as a plot suggestion

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)
*touch*
respect blad..can I 'ave some??
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)
Fack orf you wigger.
IT'S MINE
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)
booo hooooo

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)
I find stir fry quite bland
even with all the crunchy veg and sweet chilli sauce, even the honey, balsamic and soy special i make I'm never that impressed.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)
sometimes, yes
but it's like 2 of my 5 a day. 3 sticks of juicy fruit and I'm a healthy git.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:47, archived)
I am ok with my 5 a day
I am not a big fan of breakfast especially in the summer, so I throw a banana down my neck after I've had a cuppa, then I usually share either melon or grapes with the kid at lunch and I am awesome with veg at tea time.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:50, archived)
Oyster sauce and rice wine help a lot.
And large amounts of garlic and ginger.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)
I do some whicked chicken in a stir-fry.
Cover it in a batter made out of cornflour, salt and egg.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:45, archived)
When will you cook for me oh Gonzooooooooooooooo

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)
You're more than welcome at any time you want.
I'ld even go to the market to get propper good ingrediants =)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)
sound jewish.
can i eat it on a saturday?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:50, archived)
under electric lights?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:51, archived)
In my holiday home?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:51, archived)
I'm gonna be honest, I don't really know.
I, personally, wont stop you though.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:56, archived)
oh yes,
we do batter too, no salt in it though.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)
I love stir fries
They are yummy.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)
haha, great post
clickin dis deffo
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:56, archived)
I'm goig to make SALMON soon
with asparagus and new potatoes. YEAH.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:55, archived)
how do you make salmon?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)
you posh tosh.
while us proles barley survive on fois gras and caviarrrrrrr....
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)
surely 'sparagus is out of season now dahhhling

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)
I'm trying to make chocolate
out of vegetable oil and cocoa powder.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:56, archived)
i can't work out whether that's a positive description or not

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)
I think it means too much salt
and possibly a slimy texture
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)
Stephen???!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)
Coming

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:27, archived)
Just coming!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
NEAR TEH TOP.
Ok, how am I supposed know the ID number of the post befor I post it? I just looked in my profile and got my latest one.

Your latest one is the one you've posted.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:35, archived)
spastic

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)
Whoever replies to this is gay.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:37, archived)
That's a crock of shit then.
Wait two minuites while I post something, and go to edit it.

Fuck that.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:38, archived)
Why you so grumpy?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:39, archived)
It's retarded Picks, it really is.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)
I know
But it's ok.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)
Really?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:38, archived)
I also listen. Yes.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
No, that's not me,
*waits in line*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:28, archived)
BENJI!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
I changed my name to Claude Ghandi.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
Claude Ghandi!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:30, archived)
That's a stupid name.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:31, archived)
You're EVIL

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:31, archived)
No, Knievel's dead.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)
Yes?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:28, archived)
Nope.
Any other names you'd care to shout out?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:28, archived)
Root it oot.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
A kneeling ox

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
That's less to shear!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)
No, sorry.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
oh look, a new shit person
hello new shit person
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
step in poo

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:31, archived)
Aw Murray did a sweary under his breath

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:31, archived)
here comes your man

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:33, archived)

www.pown.it/3569?r=1341205
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:34, archived)
COME ON TIM!
Why do us Brits seem to insist we can win everything in sport when clearly we are rubbish.
Although ian hislop and ewan skywalker are watching.
What sport should we be good at - apart from pie eating obviously.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:18, archived)
SHIT BLIMP

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:20, archived)
WHICH ONE?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:24, archived)
Clearly rubbish?
He's number 3 in the world for fuck's sake, only behind the two greatest players of all time.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:20, archived)
He is a great player already
I really resent the way the press pile pressure on him to win though, he is still really young.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:22, archived)
He's not Tim Henman.
He's much, much more consistent. Grass isn't even his best surface (he's much better on hardcourts).

He doesn't mind the pressure, and as they've said on the punditry plenty of times, we always hoped Tim Henman would win but we never actually believed he would, where as Andy Murray we believe he should rather than just hope.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:24, archived)
I'm not sure it's them piling on the pressure
they just talk about his ability and previous performance. You may get headlines such as "Come on Murray" etc but isn't that just showing support (which if they didn't they'd get letters to the editor)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:24, archived)
Perhaps Murray was a bad example,
I don't like the way the media like to build people up just to tear them down again.

But it sells, so we are stuck with it.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)
I think it's because the British almost feels slighted if someone we've been nice to doesn't deliver.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
I wasn't talking about murray specifically
Or at all really. He's doing very well. More about the team sports.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)
We're very good at paralympic sports (like the wheelchair basketball and blind football)
as well as emerging women's sports.

We're not exactly bad at football, rugby or hockey.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:25, archived)
Emerging women's sports sounds exciting
"Over there, near the hedge."
"Two points to Mr Magnum. Spotted the lady emerging from the hedge. Pulling up knickers bonus. Magnum leads 9 points to 3, second round"
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:27, archived)
I believe indeed we won the womens cricket
and the 20 20.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
Weather commentary
Queueing
Outdrinking Americans
Taking ze piss out of ze Germans/ French/ Other Foreigners
Being shitty tourists
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:20, archived)
Teenage pregnancy olympics

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:21, archived)
Drunken dancing
And fighting.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:22, archived)
Moaning about the weather

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:22, archived)
It's way too hot to be at work
I've had to use my dehydration stuff today. I've been pissing sweat out of every pore.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:28, archived)
we are pretty good at sailing and cycling at the moment.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)
Torchwood is fucking shit

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)
snooker

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:23, archived)
The Brits invented a lot of the major team sports,
or formalised them at least. So we really should be better at a lot of them. Then again we have quite a small population compared to many of the countries we paly against.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:25, archived)
and we play ALL the sports we invented,
while most of the other countries focus on only one of them.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)
That is true,
N.Z. for instance, has a population of 4 million, yet are arguably the best rugby side in the world. They only play rugby really, cricket and football really don't feature.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:29, archived)
or tennis, or hockey, or golf, or crown green bowls

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:31, archived)
I think that's the best point to make about British sport.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:32, archived)
it doesn't even make sense that we should be better at things just because we invented them,
it would be unsporting in the least to only invent games with the intent of winning all the time. And it's like saying only Greeks should be any good at medicine.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:34, archived)
I know, it's not as if we invented them a few years ago, practiced them for ages and then told the world about them.
I think the fact that we play so many different sports and are in the top 10 in the world for the majority of them show's that we're not exactly crap at sports.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:36, archived)
I have no opinion on Tennis.
Just like during the other 50 weeks of the year.
We're quite good at cricket, aren't we?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)
Pearoast. Post a reply here. Check the /talk/XXXXXX of the post you just made. If your post ends in:
 
1. Tell us about your day, 4 sentences or more.
2. Tell us the last song you listened to and why you liked it.
3. Tell us about your worst sexual experience.
4. Tell us a secret that you've only told less than 3 people before.
5. If you had to have sex with the same gender, who and why?
6. Your genuine opinion of a b3tan you have met.
7. Make a quick poem about the person above you.
8. Post a link to the image that always makes you laugh, no matter what.
9. Explain why you are up so late and not sleeping like a normal person Tell us a joke.
0. Roll again
 
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)
Oh wow, just like 4chan

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)
I don't actually have any bad ones.
Wow.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)
or good ones. shame eh?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)
I've had sex :(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:40, archived)
yeah, but this is the internet
i have to insinuate you haven't so i can feel like a big tough guy
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)
Oh, okay

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)
was anyone else present?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)
Yeah.
A girl. A living one. That wasn't my mum. Or any other female relative.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:43, archived)
your gerbil pauline doesn't count
do you see how it works?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:44, archived)
:(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)
awwwww
poor you... but now you know not to play hide the gerbil anymore
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)
Claimed on the internet = Didn't happen
or something
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:43, archived)
I was wondering if it would work here, only for less CP related matters.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)
Reply

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)
I don't really do secrets.
I once dropped a dog on its head by accident.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)
@JackAction
This would work so much better in /twitter mode ;)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
A 12 hour stepping seemed a bit harsh.
It's not like we flooded /board with incest porn or anything.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)
Did you get stepped as well?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)
How many of you got stepped?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)
Me.
Mike did too.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)
And Dave!
Basically I think it was anyone who went for /board
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:28, archived)
I think jenpots and KBD got stepped as well.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:29, archived)
I heard that Jenpots got bored, but I don't know.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:30, archived)
i must have missed something out
was it interesting?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)
It was annoying.
Look at the popular page for all the posts starting @ for a small taste. And then imagine it spread over about 2 hours.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)
It lasted for 2 hours?!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)
At an estimate, yeah.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)
It started about 8.30
Finished about 10.15
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)
You killed /talk.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)
You were an accomplice.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)
It was only 2 hours on a Sunday evening.
Although some members got very serious.

It was a bit shit, though.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)
better than the average sunday night
b3ta.com/talk/archive/11635/
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)
that says a lot about the average sunday night.
i saw what was happening and fucked off. I despise twitter.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:42, archived)
jmg's reaction was funny to see
it looked like he was upset, online
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)
@godzuki
why? #twittahatas
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)
it is head

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
I thought it was possessive.
Oh well.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)
a common mistake
nodivisions.com/music/songs/Strongbad-Its.mp3
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:31, archived)
LOL4CHAN

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)
Gok Wan.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
this seems like more effort than it's really worth
but seeing as I got a 9... oddly, I don't usually go to bed quite this early on a Monday evening. I hadn't considered there might be anything unusual about that.

EDIT: ok ok. A man walks into a curtain, and he says ow, it was the Iron Curtain.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)
I realised afterwards and edited. It isn't 3am anymore.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
You don't hear enough soviet union jokes now days.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)
they hear you

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)
ok ok
a man walks into a lady, and he says ow. It was Margaret Thatcher.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:28, archived)
MODS ARE SLEEPING, POST CP

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)
+RA

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)
+rs
Get it right...
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)
Aside from the time somebody on /board put a picture of their kid in a bath, has there every been a CP invasion on b3ta?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)
mongy posted scat porn all over /board one time
the scamp
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)
Blimey, the little terror.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:34, archived)
I can see it now!
I had custom css turned off
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)
I'm getting de ja vu and that.
'as this occured in the last 24 aaars?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)
if it's the same as last time
can i just put a link to the thread last time you did it?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
NO.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
in that case:
i don't have any particular image i can think of at the moment
but it would probably be here* somewhere




* for those unaware of it there is a possibility of nsfw images :)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)
I'm not up late, it's not even half seven!
EDIT - A man walks into a pet shop and says "I'd like to buy a wasp please".
The pet shop man says "I'm sorry we don't sell wasps".
The first man said "OH FUCK OFF! THERE IS A BIG SIGN UP THERE THAT SAYS WASPS 3 FOR £1 YOU FUCKING CUNT!" and then stabs him.

The End.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
the old ones are the best, eh?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)
Yeah, I *heart* FoldsFive and Bogus Official too!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)
once you get over the smell of wee, they're great to have around
i like the war stories
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:43, archived)
I don't get it :(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)
what's Mr. Sp@m not putting out
got anything to do with milknosugar's joke?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)
bump

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)

this
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)
Sage

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)
i have met many a b3tan
most of them have been entirely affable.

ah, i will say this. baldmonkey is a lot less mad if his wife is also there
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:28, archived)
I am on a train.
I am listening to pendulum
The man opposite is a police man.

the woman next to me has a very saggy face.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:29, archived)
grab hold of her jowls and wobble them around and say "BLUBBA LUBBA LUBBA LUBBA BLUBBA BLUB"
then urinate of the policeman

and stop listening to shit music
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)
I am now listening to tunng.
the policeman is staring at me in stunned silence while a continue to wobble the womans horrible chicken neck with my spare hand.

Now there is a wailing child. I want to make it stop but I finished my rolos.... Her mother has given it a toy - seemingly its only function is to repeatedly make that horrible sound the deceptigons make in the first transformers film.

Its shit.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)
times like this, a man's just got to grab the nearest shotgun and start raping his way to safety

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:43, archived)
that is a particularly excellent thing to say.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)
5.
I think Rosalicous is probably the most down-to-earth person I've evr meet, no pretention at all.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)
But your post ends in 2

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)
And it's same gender sex, innit?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)
he's answering 6
OBVIOUSLY
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)
He's still wrong

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)
Oh Gonz :( That's a 2 at the end of your post!
Do keep up dear!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)
haha, thicko thickie thick thick stupid pants

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)
SHUT UP ALL OF YOU I LIKED IT

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)
Only because he was lying.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)
you'd say the same of me you LYING cunt

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)
so there.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)
i've never met you
i bet you absolutely ooze pretention
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:40, archived)
im fat, posh, blonde and 50

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:43, archived)
PHWOAR
and by PHWOAR, i mean MOING!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)
Moing! eh?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGuuXbPLtHU
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)
FUCKING YES!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)
Going for a night out on saturday with MOING! still written ten times on my arm was a bit odd.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:54, archived)
NEEDS MOAR MOING.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)
hahahahahaha
GONZ and ROSE, sitting in a tree, F.U.C.K.I.N.G. with difficulty.
you terrible toss. :)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)
id much rather touch gonz than you
YOU SPACKERHEADED FUCKER
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:42, archived)
That's clearly bollocks, 'Pretention' is her real middle name.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:45, archived)
GONZO MEETS 15 YEAR OLD GIRLS OFF THE INTERNET

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:31, archived)

Ace, - it's like /b/ but without the cp!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)

Cool, a 3.

The night I lost my virginity, the girl I had lost it with started crying, and then spent the rest of the night telling me about how she'd suffered (horrific) sexual abuse as a (very young) child, - that went on until 6AM, when I turned up at work (at 06:30) I found 2 voicemails - one telling me my granny had died, and the other telling me that I had to work a 22 hour shift... which was nice.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)
Post I made

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)
I can't tie my shoelaces

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)
Is that even true?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)
yes

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:34, archived)
is that because your shoes are at the other side of the room?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:34, archived)
No because I don't own a pair, lolpoor
seriously though I can't
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)
I struggled when I was 4 to do them
But I tend to wear trainers, so you tie them once, EVER.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:43, archived)
do you?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)
Yep - my preference is something along the lines of Vans
Or Tsubo, laceless.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)
I usually get Vans too,
but I still do the laces up each time. I must be doing it wrong.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)
Boring
Michelle Trachtenberg - because she's fit
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)
Ugly

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)
I don't have any jokes
*feels bullied*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)
YOURE RUBBISH. TIITS OR GTFO.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)
her rubbish

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)

Tits or GTFO.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)
hmm

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)
about blank
had a wank
and is owed a randomburn CD by me
which I have made the cases and the parcels for
but haven't burnt still as my external CD drive has packed up
but I should get it out soon
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

I have NEVER had a wank, and you don't owe me a randomburn CD.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)
ooh, my bad
I'll PRETEND I owe you one. I thought you were on my list.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:16, archived)

God, I really wish I was on your list, but sadly, even if you did send me one I wouldn't be able to play it, because I don't have a CD player :-(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:26, archived)
thread dead
:(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:17, archived)
RIP FRED WIV DA ANGLES xXx

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:24, archived)
69 pence eh?
If you could get yours back what would you spend it on?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

one of these
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)
I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)
you are a dirty bad man.
I wish you were my dad.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)

*blacks up*
*sings Sonny Boy*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)
Take me, I'm yours.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)
Because dreams are made of this.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
A can of White Star.
in memory of the queen mum.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)
In memory of the Titanic shirley?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)
ORLWAYS IN ARR HARTS
I wish Winslet had drowned.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)
pfft.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)
chomps and highland toffeh

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)
I loved highland toffee at school
I don't think I've even heard it mentioned for 20 years
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)
It's all bollocks non-news

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)
Eh?
What you on about?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)
The 'Royal' family cost you that last year.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)
it costs every british tax payer 69p a year for the Queen

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)
HA!
i moved abroad! and im getting my tax back. fuckers! :D
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)
Oh.
They can keep my 69p. Not a lot I can do with it anyway.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)
I'd put it towards buying Philip a pint.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)
69p eh?
That'd buy me... 1/2 a cup of coffee in the office canteen. Not enough to keep me going for 30 minutes...
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)
some blue-namer ignored me earlier
my life is now meaningless, I might just have to kill myself
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)
oooooooo your name is blue

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)
Oh gilgy put something in your profile

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)
there is something in it
a marvellous portrait of King Zog of Albania with his hat at a particularly rakish angle
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)
I can't see it :(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)
oh
have you got some crappy web filtering system there?

Websense aren't fans of my work generally
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)
Lets have none of that talk on ./talk

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:12, archived)
there there
i'm sure she hasn't ignored you, she just gave up on the conversation

don't die, you have so much to live for, like...



i'll get back to you on that one
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)
All the names are blue to me
Even the internet knows I judge all on merit only
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)
I'd buy one "Duchy Original"

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:12, archived)
a whole one?
fat chance.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)
You'd only get a sniff of the bakers apron for 69p

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)
I've got something flaky and pastry like for ya.
god, I'm such a stud. with an unfortunate condition.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)
Dirty, dirty Zuki..
shame on you
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)
I'll buy one cheap at the broken biscuit store

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)
Haha yeah, 69 is a funny number because it's a bit rude.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:12, archived)
lol it meenz secksy fings

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)
How would you know about that?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)
i DO go to school you know

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)
How much is a Lion Bar these days?
I'd get one of them, and a Double lolly with the change.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:19, archived)
it's almost as funny as when things cost 11p
that's the funniest thing ever
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:19, archived)
I'd put it towards a Franklin Mint plate of our dear Queen.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)
SHOCK NEWS
english.aljazeera.net/news/middleeast/2009/06/2009629151258105455.html
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)
I've got that Ahmendinajad bloke pencilled in for the next Dr Who

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)
with Dot Cotton as his assistant

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)
or next die hard movie

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)
I just had a call from PLATIMNUM HOLIDAYS of ST JOHN ST, LONDON
I've "won" some vouchers or something

I told him I was masturbating right now and can he call back in 2 minutes

Suggestions for shit to say to him most welcome
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)
you have crack rehab mondays and thursdays.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)
you stay indoors on days with R in them.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)
swine flu swine flu swine flu.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)
I'll ask if they mind me having sex with my alsatian in the hotel room

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)
Alsace? that's germany.
you sick nazi bastard
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)
Tell him
he put you off your stroke with the first call.. ask him talk dirty to you so you can finish off then you can take the call
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)
"I'm a dustman.... I find all kinds of rotten food and unwashed recycling and that"

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)
FINE

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)
good lordy.
that'll put an end to those pesky demonstrations and aggravation from spoilsports.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
Hoorah! A victory for democracy and a slap in the face of religious fanaticism and despots!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)
Justice at last.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)
I think he's great
I love a good nutter, me
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)
I love his little piggy eyes.
His little piggy eyes, Mugabe's top lip and moustache, Gaddafi's saggy eyes, Mao's haircut. A recipe for the greatest despot who never lived.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)
He's almost got the full set
I bet he has an awesome porn collection
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:12, archived)
Today, I found out I have superior colour vision.
What have you felt pointlessly smug about lately?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)
Nothing,
life is SHIT.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)
haha, loser

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)
I'M GOING OUT TO THE BARS OF NEWCASTLE CITY CENTRE NOW.
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. NO FAT BIRDS.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)
I honestly don't see how you intend to avoid them

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:10, archived)
true that
the North has more fatties than this board
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:11, archived)
people who say this have invariably never been further north than Birmingham

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)
fucking right I ain't
mind you Birmingham is well north
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)
anything south of Cheshire is France

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)
Oh random bent southerner!
Why must I put down my bottle of what is no doubt BRUT and what is also no doubt some kind of bald hair gel or something to reply?
Now I'm putting my trainers on.

Another insight.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)
But what SORT of trainer Jammy?!!?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)
Run DMC adidas.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)
bent southerner?
terrible bullying online
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)
it's a well-known fact that all southerners are bumlords

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)
yes yes but
bumlords with jobs
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:21, archived)
Not nowadays.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)
fluffing and mopping up spunk in a gay bath house doesn't really count as a career
but good luck with it
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)
fuck you. some of us are grateful for the work.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:41, archived)
this man does not represent my half of the country

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:41, archived)
TOWERING OBJECTION

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)
are you upset enough to ignore me yet?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)
not on your nelly gigglymess

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:44, archived)
well, as soon as your annoyance reaches ignore levels
be sure to tell the internet immediately
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:46, archived)
I'm from the North
I ain't fat. But I'm from the good part of north, not the shitty parts like Newcastle.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:14, archived)
yeah but you're a shitcunt

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)
Blah blah blah
I'm a b3ta regular and i hate everything blah
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)
blah blah blah
I'm a shit noob and waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)
that seems about even
now fuck off
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)
but I'd hate to miss you getting ONLINE UPSET again and having a proto-flounce

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:20, archived)
clickin dis

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)
Sweet lord
go and dust the cobwebs off of your cock darling
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)
ONLINE ANNOYANCE LEVELS RISING

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:24, archived)
Pffft

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:24, archived)
please work on getting better at b3taing
your performance thus far has been lamentably rubbish
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)
Why would I try
with you? *gives up and ignores*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)
BANG BANG BANG I AM BANGING THE IGNORE DRUMS
www.gilgamesh.zen.co.uk/YHBI
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)
FURIOUS INTERNET.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)
I'm hungover

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)
Superior to whom?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)
Presumably the normal range.
The print out says 'superior discrimination'
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)
You're an excellent racist, is what that means.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)
Unlike that wife of yours,
who is just a dirty Steven Racist.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)
At least you don't have to live with it.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)
I've done my shift.
It's Fry's turn next.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)
'Whatever.'

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)
Thank you.
I do put the effort in.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)
That just means that you're racist, but think that you're above it.
You're fooling nobody but yourself there.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)
That you've stolen parts of my retina to enhance yourself, you bumhole :(
/has a pair of colourmeng eyes
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)
I didn't even use them in the end.
I just chucked them in a skip.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)
D:
*dives into skip*

Ahhh that's better :D *has got ping pong ball eyes*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)
I can't see how someone can have better colour vision and how scientists can tell this shit information
What I see as Red might look completely different to you
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)
Ishihara plate test.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)
I'm told that the Ishihara test is shit and hugely oversensitive

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)
Probably.
I didn't get very far in my training before I packed it in.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)
my optician was low quality
they just used the saucers from teacups
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)
It's about discrimination between shades.
You basically get a load of colours and have to arrange them into a spectrum.
People with poor colour vision get them in the wrong order in certain regions.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)
What Porsche said.
The fact that you can see what you think of as green and what you think of as blue as distinct shades alone means that you're distinguishing between them, which many people can't.
My eldest brother has red/green colour blindness, which meant he couldn't join the RAF as he planned.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)
There used to be a rule in football in that
if it started to snow while the game was being played, they would change the white ball for a orange one, as the orange ball showed up nicely against the white snow.
However, if the snow melted during play, they were not allowed to change the orange ball back for a white one, and this caused problems for players with colour blindness as the orange and green are two of the colours that cause problems for colour blind people.
I suspect the rule has changed now.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)
You must be one of only a small number of people
who has an advantage by having a 32bit colour graphics card over a 24 bit colour graphics card.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)
I'm being promoted
fuck yeah
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)
what to what to what to?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)
I was just a nurse
I'm gonna be ward sister :-D
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)
That isn't a promotion.
It just means you've let yourself go a bit and they've had to reclassify you from "foxy" to "matronly".
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)
nope, that's a matron
I was still just a baby, not yet in the foxy category.

Now though....
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)
Ah cool. I hope it's like a Carry On film and many men in drag chase you and your bra pings off and hits the Matron in the face
*comedy swany whistles*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)
Indeed!
now, I must pick my persona...should I be lovely kind ward sister, or horrible mean nasty ward sister?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)
Nice!
I don't know what the bonuses for being a horrible sister would be...

I think you should wear a Nun outfit too so you can be Sister Sister and also only watch the late 90s Nickelodeon TV show 'Sister Sister'
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:14, archived)
was that the one with the crazy black chicks?
Oh no she di'n't
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)
I talk like their mum and look like their dad. sorta.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)
haha

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:20, archived)
Superior colour vision typically means poorer visual acuity.
Well done Captain Technicolour. You can't see shit. But at least you can't see shit in colour.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)
meaning that those people
who can only see the 16 colours from microsoft's paint can see it in supurb clarity.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)
I haven't had an acuity test for a few years,
but when I last did I was normal/supernormal. I also normal VEPs.
This training is great, I get to do all kinds of tests on myself.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)
I bet you can't even read what I'm writing.
I've had your mum and you were at the other side of the room wondering what the squealing was
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)
Why thank you,
yes I have been working out.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)
I'm totally having a cup of coffee now

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)
I think you should totally tell the internet about it through the medium of social networking and messageboards.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)
I'll inform the gentlemen of the press later

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)
Got a 2:i and a job all in the same week!
I'm fantastic, I am.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)
Both better than mine.
Although apparently I can now work as a paint mixer or spray cars.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)
Congrats
What's your job?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)
having the biggest turnips in all of lancashire

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)
I hope this is an innuendo.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)
mashed!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)
i've got better than 20:20 chuckle vision

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)
Huzzah! Everything that needs to be is moved out of my house and put in storage for the month.
That's the harder half of it done. The next bit is the fun bit :)

What have you accomplished today?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)
Fuck all
I started out with the best of intentions, and it's all come to naught.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)
I still need to tidy bits of this house, sadly. It's a right arse, but it needs doing.
I'm just having a little rest and waiting for it to cool down, then I'll start on the washing up.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)
I've done the washing up
but my room is in a state that only Hezbollah would think of as normal.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
I need to hoover and bag my clothes in here, but that'll take all of 15 minutes.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
I think mine will take longer
and possibly some explosives.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
I had a shower earlier.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)
Holy SHIT.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)
We also can't come to your bash.
We have no money.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
The July 4th bash?
I don't think it's even on. I'm certainly not going.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
A fair few people are signed up.
I don't know whether they intend to go, or are just being lolwacky, online.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)
If people are ACTUALLY GOING then I might give it a go.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)
Don't.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
I can't come to the bash either
because I don't like any of you lot
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
You're also a mentally deficient brainwrong,
and your carer is off that weekend, so no going out for you.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
Well, it's the best thing you've done in the last 12.5 months.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
And by that I mean your wife, not your son..

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)
Not that I'm suggesting you've done your son.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)
You stay away from my son.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)
I also just noticed that what I said about Springy can be read either way.
It's meant to be an insult.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
She'll hurt you.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)
LIKE SHE HURT ME BEFORE?
*cries*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)
She broke your heart.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)
I gave her cancer.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)
It's alright, the baby sucked all that out.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
That's such a disgusting image.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)
Actually, she might punch me in the heart again.
Tell her not to. Cheers.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)
Has your sternum recovered yet?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
Yeah, it's cool.
I'm made of harder stuff than all that.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)
Discovered that the nurses at work
have been looking at porn when they are on the night shift.
Dirty nurses
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)
Was it nurse porn?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
unsurprisingly no
but i am interested as to why some nurses have been given super sexy admin power
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)
Oh Badger :(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
Don't they see enough nudity in the course of their duties?
If not, get them to email me. I'm sure I can help.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
'Honestly, I was just cleaning up and I slipped...'

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)
What do you mean, Brayn?
I just meant I could administer first aid, while they went out of the ward for a bit.
Honestly.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
I mean get this hoover out of my arse please.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
Said Danny the morgue cleaner with his cock in a corpse

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)
Nothing of interest or importance.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)
I can't wait to see you again :(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)
*hugs*
You will see me soon, promise.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)
Wild dogs would not tear me away from the HB Bash.
I'm bagsying your bosom as my sleeping spot.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)
cleaned the bathroom

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)
I learnt a bit more CSS and PHP

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)
Today I learned how to intubate people
I advise people to definately not come to my hospital with respiratory troubles.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)
Change your name all you want, you're still rubbish.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)
Hey I save lives
in a roundabout way. And it's not like I'm trying to hide, my sig tells everyone who I am.

Cunt.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)
I bet the lives you save are the lives of shit people,
like murderers, rapists, paedophiles and you.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)
murderers rapists and paedophiles
only exist because of your mum
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)
That was a bit predictable, to be honest.
Try harder.
Or just go away.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)
I would try harder
but I just don't want to. It's you after all, and you're just....meh
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)
Absolutely nothing.
Oh, I put some laundry on, read a magazine, basked in the sun and then hung the washing out. Does that count?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)
You hung that shit out to dry!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)
I was off sick from work all last week and achieved lovely things like this.
I miss it. Work is shit.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
I worked all weekend so it was lovely to just potter about today.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)
Not much considering how much I had to catch up on at work.
But oh well, home now.

In other news: what new car should I buy?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

This.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)
How much you got to spend?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)
MJ dies
Thatcher is returned home from hospital.
I reckon there's something going on there.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)
*dons tin foil hat*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)
Possibly
Quick imagify it and comp it.

I have a horrid sore throat too
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)
I would
but I am fail at image stuff.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)
ps
hope you feel better soon.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)
Try sucking on a fisherman's friend

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)
Just make sure his tackle's clean first

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)
Are you saying that the demon that inhabited Michael Jackson left his body
Causing it to appear dead, then it fled through the Earth, following ley lines until it possessed Thatcher, filling her body with unearthly strength and fortitude?

That's a bit of a stretch wynoh, jeez.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)
I just thought it was a good opportunity for spare parts
as it would be enormously entertaining to see the milk-stealing witch doing the moonwalk.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)
The moonwalk actually causes a series of satanic symbols to be drawn on the floor
Invoking the dark god In-hubranor, the Defiler of Worlds.

If Thatcher did the moonwalk, it's possible we would all die.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)
I thought the Defiler of Words was In-Hubare
he's a right scamp
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:24, archived)
Nah that's the Spirit of Shit Christmas Mornings

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:24, archived)
178 days to christmas!
edit: oops, sorry, forgot you don't celebrate christmas
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)
I don't either
I just celebrate the one day of the year I'm allowed to do what I like.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)
The problem with using spare parts from MJ
is that he only weighed 8 ounces when he died, and so his bone structure is only capable of supporting that of small insects.
and Thatcher weighs in at a massive 50 stone, she didnt get the nickname IronLady for nothing.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)
I scoured my house for booze last night and all I found was a bottle of madeira
it was like getting pissed on christmas cake
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)
I'm not surprised
Madeira is the only wine that is actually cooked before being sold.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)
I'm just glad I didn't barf it up
there's no way I'd want to taste that crap again
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)
I've run out of everything but Scrumpy Jack
sadly I have also run out of money.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)
I was in the same predicament last month but only had Chinese Holiday Wine
Tasted like a farted on Christmas pudding. I chucked it and stayed sober.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)
Chinese wine is terrible
you're better off drinking sake, if you're that way inclined.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)
It was given to me as a gift :(
They must have secretly hated me.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)
I can't believe that
how could anyone hate you, DG?
You're far too splendid for hatred.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)
I thought so too!
Maybe there is a conspiracy afoot D:
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)
it's your nemesis
wonkey bums. spreading lies and slandering the good ship dg
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)
I am rather fond of Choya.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)
Never heard of it
what's it like?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)
It's Japanese plum wine.
It's quite crisp, sweet but dry and not sickly like a lot of dessert wines.

It's VERY nice over ice, or mixed with Pimms.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)
Sounds good
the Japanese are getting seriously good at whisky, too.
They won last year's world championships.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)
it's rather expensive
but I am eager to try some Japanese Whisky.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)
Nikaa is a good one
very smooth, similar to a Speyside
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6262753
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)
y'know down there when the thread was about non-b3ta stuff that makes you think of b3ta?
well, someone i know just joined a facebook group called wwdgdfap

which made me think it was 'what would donkey gums do for a pug'
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)
Now that's a good thread right there.
I think I'd do anything to own a pug with free health insurance.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)
the actual group is 'what would dani green do for a pikachu'
which is a bit of a let down
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)
My group is better

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)
or "what would Dani Behr do for recognition"
which I reckon would be an awesome reality TV show
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)
fucking hell.
I opened /talk first by mistake and though you lot had migrate to the other board I hang around in. That was scary.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:24, archived)
It's ok, your bestiality fantasy chat forum is safe from us

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)
*phew*
it's the second close shave we've had recently
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)
Bugger
you mean there are boards where they usually post this kind of crap?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)
not the one I inhabit, but
there are plenty of bonkers ones out there
www.prattle.net/archives/002411.html
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)
I think I'll leave it
Dekionplexis is weird enough for me
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)
I think it's my fault Michael died
I deleted his Number Ones album from my MP3 player.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)
Pradar Willi.
I saw a video of a Prader Willi (look it up nerd) sufferer who needs to be rugby tackled if she ever hears the ice-cream van approaching.
Otherwise she'd go out and practically attempt to hijack the van.

Now I'm not going to go for a cheap gag at this deep issue.
But where do you often find yourself thinking of the other b3tans?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
I don't

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)
You never saw a queue outside a McDonalds?
Protests at the closure of an Oversize store?
Nothing?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
I think of you every night before I go to sleep.
There. I've said it. Are you happy now?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
Immensely!
I saw somebody on the news at a BNP rally who had to have a bit of a sit down because it was all a bit too much for him.
I thought of b3ta.

:(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)
Pffft.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)
When I go to the farm

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)
We watched a bit of that 50-stone son programme on channel 4 last night
Blimey.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)
Is that the one with the mental mum clingy who wipes his boomboom?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
hoh yeah
I bet he LOVES world of warcraft.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
I bet he's alliance too.
I sooooo wanted to bat his mum upside the head. He's in pain, so fucking what, tell him to man the fuck up. He had a flat butt, like the bottom of a piano.

I haven't played WoW in a while, I might jump on this week. 1 bar from 77.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)
we also wondered at his shelf-arse
Me neither, I said I'd be in 2 raids at the weekend I forgot about. I was outside instead, never mind. I might pop on tonight, actually.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)
That story was loosely based on my life

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
bloody hell
where do people like this get the time?
I know I am big but fucking hell
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)
it was his mum, overfeeding him his whole life
and just not stopping.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)
We've already mocked this syndrome.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)
We've already decided I'm on the dole and hairless beyond science, but it's never too soon to get another dig in.
The internet isn't for fun, it's for repeating and pornography.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
I went with a more hilarious spelling though
www.b3ta.com/talk/6246590
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)
You're being VERY liberal with the word "we".

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)
Shut up! COCKBACK
:(((
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)
I think we should start a new, as in you should have a job and you probably don't live with your mum.

I think you're a milkman, from the hours that you post. You live with a mate.

I still think you're a bit bald though, I saw your forehead with a willy on it.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)
a POSTMAN

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)
a CANDLESTICKMAN

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)
because of all the posts!
I GET IT
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)
THERE'S NO DENYING MY DOLE STORY.
AND BY STORY, I MEAN FACT AND BY DOLE I MEAN THAT I AM NOT WOUND UP.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)
I heard that JMG has
A COCK
ON HIS BACK
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)
Instead of nipples he has little testicles

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)
You'd better get off him then.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)
*finger guns*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)
giant solar powered death bot

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)
I think it's a mixture of diamond geezers and dorises, and a gabble of fish finger hunting Down's

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
FISSYFINNERS!
*CLAPS*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
hhahaha you utter cunt, I just huffed down the phone at a client trying not to laugh!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)
Looking at the bench of fat teenagers outside McDonalds.
I saw one drop his burger and then pick it up off the street and eat it the other day.

Even you JMG, dole as you are, wouldn't sink to such depths.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
See?
B3tans. Everywhere. Big fat everywhere!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
I think about b3tans in the toilet
A good musing on the finer points of /talk is always good to get the stream flowing
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
certainly not at stand up comedy nights

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
I couldn't watch Piston_Broke beyond two minutes.
I was almost in tears.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
I haven't seen it yet

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)
haha
Friz has a hard copy
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)
so do I

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)
You'd do well to avoid it Dear.
Don't look directly at it.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)
it would have been fine if he'd had any concept of time or direction in it.
it was just three stories connected with 'erm well errr, y know like, err are you filming me? Err oi, stop talking at me I'll abuse you, erm errr chavs right, err yeah, chavs right, yeah, chavs right'
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)
I've known some b3tans to be amusing
but I couldn't watch that video
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)
If I found myself thinking of other b3tans in any situation
I think that sectioning followed by suicide would be the only solution.

love you all really
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)
Heh
My mum used to work with a Prada Willi sufferer. Built like a brick shithouse and my mum had to restrain her sometimes.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)
Is that the posh version?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)
Ey?
Oh, whoops. No, Prader. Yes.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)
when i was on holiday, i saw a sign that said
envolver
engage
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)
YES!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)
only when I'm here

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)
'ning

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)
why hello there

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)
Prader. Like Louis Vooton.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)
People need to paint themselves white, cover their houses in damp hessian and stop moaning.
What would the best job to have in weather like this?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)
Lido temperature tester

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

Li Dil
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

il an
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
...Yep
Still pretty cold...
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
A lido is more fun than a dildo

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
KKK
floaty outfit
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
Wet t-shirt competition judge?
Air conditioning tester?
Head of RBS?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
Bikini tester
Swimming pool activity organiser
Ice cream licker
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
I used to work in a pub kitchen
whenever it was this hot I'd go and hide in the walk-in fridge, and say I was counting the stock.
Worked beautifully.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
Weatherman

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
No job.
But somehow miraculously money for elderflower champagne, picnics in shady woods and an open top car to go vroom vroom breeze breeze in.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
I agree with all of this
except for the no job bit.
No job is fucking rubbish. I'd work on a building site if there was one I could get to employ me. Fuck it, at least I'd get some exercise.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
surf instructor

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
any job
it's just temperature. people need to man the absolute fuck up and stop behaving like a load of flouncing Marys.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)
What if the air conditioning in the office is broken and it's so hot that my mouse has melted
to my desk*?





*this may not actually have happened
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
you shouldn't use a white chocolate mouse
you need a computer one.

/TMB - solving weather-based computing issues since 1975
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)
I've missed you.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
I was in WALES.
I walked a load of the pembrokeshire coast path and did sea stuff and went jet boating and drank booze. Oh, and flew my kite.

Now I'm in London doing fuck all, drinking beer and sat on a pub bench and stealing wireless.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

pub park

stealing wireless wanking
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)
If I could sit on a park bench
drinking beer, wanking AND dealing with my work emails then I'd be very happy.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)
Wine taster
Outdoors.

And this rain is lovely!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
Done that
it's a lot harder than it sounds.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
boiler stoker

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
Foundry worker.
I bet they're all dying for an ice cream, them that's not been sacked.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)
Christ, it's been too hot today
and thursday is supposed to be the hottest day of the year (40 degrees or something).
How have you coped in the heat? Do you have one of those tiny battery operated fans to waft your face?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
I'm not fat and it doesn't bother me

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
this
as a girl it's just an excuse to wear smaller clothes.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
And as a guy, I fully appreciate a good breeze during the summer.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
Creepometer.
0 [----------------|--] You
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
higher.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
*grabs testicles*
Creepometer.
0 [----------------|--] You

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
pfft :D

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
Cha-mone.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
slower

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
i refuse to drop my IQ to that level.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
just get piston to do the exact same post.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
him and matt should go out on the pull together...

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
haha
it's grey chap and floss hair!

THOSE LOVABLE SCAMPS
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
now i think of piston as the 'grey bloke' from madridiot's videos

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
Haha

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)
Floss hair?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
*legs it*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)
Piston confided in me that he finds old floss head here rather alluring.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)
poor sod :)

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)
rrrrowr!
How are you feeling now, hun?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
A bit better, I've had a nice bath and I'm in bed now.
I went to the doctor and it's not meningitis so that's a relief... ho hum.

Are you well lovely lady?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)
poor matt
he does not deserve to suffer that, it would be like a black hole of conversation.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
Thanks for backing me up

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
only fair
the times I have seen him attempt to talk to you has resulted in you saying you could not possibly as you have ear cancer and the doctors say you need silence.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
Indeed, at least Matt is top bloke to talk to
And he's a good dancer.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)
is that what it was?
I thought they had electrified the floor again.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)
I like Matt. He's a lovely man.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)
indeed

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)
certainly 2/3rds of one, anyway..

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)
haha good strikethrough
edit; FUCKOFF AUTOCOMPLETE
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

ironically
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
I try my best

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
That said
I am also a fan of a STIFF breeze in the summer
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
Azzers!
Hi there :)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSpangolina...
how is th weather down there?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
hot.
how are you? Is Lizzie ok, she said this morning she was feeling poorly.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
No no no, Spango, 'Poorly' is what she calls Az's dinkle silly.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)
as the nose drips

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)
eeeeew

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)
And it tastes of Lemsip

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)
you mention pink socks.
and we will be having words...
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

there is absolutly nothing wrong with me that a truck full of cash hitting the side of my house wont fix :D as for lizzie, i think she is ok. havent really spoken to her today. she is in a post glasto coma atm i think..
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)
hehe, know the feeling.... moving house is pricey!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)
you cunty-chops
any chance of you bringing my drive back?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
yeah, maybe :D
you in the office all day? i'll drop it round later
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
You are my hero.
How are you at painting?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)
you ask me this
after i repainted quite a bit of tim's office?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)
heh heh

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
Did he give you Boston Legal?
Y'know that lawyer show I was telling you about where the whole cast are boston terriers.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
You fart lots to cool yourself down?!!?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
have you seen that russian tennis player at wimbledon?
Pfwoooor
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
Davydenko?
:(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
Dunno but they're playing now

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
Andy Murray is scottish you fool

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
this
as a man it's just an excuse to wear smaller clothes.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
Supermatts mankini goes a tad too far

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
Sadly, it doesn't go quite far enough.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)
Pics

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
HELLO!
whoop whoop
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
they're all coming out of the woodwork now
hello, you pasty-botherer. How's things?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
Fine and dandy
have just got back from holiday in teh Gower
sorting out the pics now.

How is the high priestess of tiny?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
Holiday? From the idyllic Kernow paradise?
Madness.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
Well
It am quite nice
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
Oh aye, vere nice.
Whereabouts?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)
'bout
yer
Rhossili
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)
Gower?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
Wales.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
fancy!
hope you had a nice time. I'm good thanks, enjoying the lovely weather for a change :)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)
So I hear
by wearing small clothes.

been down the local barbie outlet have we?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)
more like action man
combats are my friend.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)
I'm fat and it doesn't bother me

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
It bothers everyone else though theo.
*looks away in disgust*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
I look like a scoop of ice cream that's fallen out of a child's cone and hit the floor at speed

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
The child is standing nearby, crying

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
Haha
Lovely stuff.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
I'm not fat either
so it doesn't bother me that much.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
I've sat in an airconditioned room all day.
And when I get home, I'll probably cope by drink chilled water.
It's amazing the steps I have to go to to keep my body temperate.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
I don't sweat like a fat pig so I've been fine in the hammock most of the day.
Hasn't been overly hot here, quite a lot of cloud cover.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
i've been out and about today and some parts of the campus are massively hot.
my office is nice and cool though
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
If I'm cold I put clothes on and if I'm hot I take some clothes off.
It's a pretty original system.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
*turns on radiators*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
No GMoS, NO!
Radiators are for the cold.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
By not wearing a coat

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
did they take it for the circus tent
at glastonbury?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
HAHAHAHAHA
YES
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
No wait
This humour is too advanced, you'll have to explain it
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
It's too hot.
It's too cold.
It's raining.
It's not raining.

Poor The Weather. It just can't win.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
I've got a desk fan blowing into my face.
My hair is going all over the place, like one of those chicks from an eighties hair metal rock video
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
You're not hot.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
Not now I've got the fan I'm not, no.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
You are hot though.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)
Not now I've got this fan I'm not, no

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)
been asleep most of the day
swimming first thing this morning after work
nice big fan by bed.

all in all quite cool.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
I'm not fat and it does bother me.
I open the windows.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
I like the heat
I keep thinking about moving somewhere I might get some. I've been saying that for ages though and done nothing about it though.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

I like the heat
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
haha good strikethrough

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
surely...
like the 'm on
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
Oh haha

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)
Pfft
'get some'
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
ta ta ta ta ta
Get some
ta ta ta ta ta
Get some...
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
Same goes for you bitchface

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)
I hope your flat is slightly too warm for comfort this evening.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)
I've got a 24" fan blowing cool air into my underpants

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
lol what's his name lol

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
His nickname is 'Shorty'

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)
I wonder if you can get PC fans embedded in bottom plugs

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)
I've been enjoying airconditioning and walk in fridges

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
Walk in fridges
A true sign of being a fatty.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
Or working in the catering trade

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)
I'm not sure I'd like anything in our walk in in my mouth

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)
That's the boring reason though

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)
I've done the opposite of what is right
and turned the oven on to do some baking. I fear I may faint from the heat.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)
When it's cold I hope you spend all day in a Chest Freezer

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)
the jobs pool
drier than a nun's clunge.

where do you work and why is it better than everyone elses?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
Again. The internet shall decide the outcome for myself.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
It's in Soho
The gays here, I mean girls are double hot.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
Didn't we do this earlier?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
undertakers are always in work of course

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
office
it's not
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
I work for a charity.
It's a bit boring at the moment.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
I work at home. We run a recording/production business.
Upsides are many
downsides, never see anyone so it's a bit boring.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
I work at home, when I get the chance,
which is not as often as I'd like. Some people regard being able to work from home as totally ideal, but to be honest I'd rather get the opportunity to leave the house and speak to other people.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
Lovely lovely air con
Beach 5 mins away
Fuckloads of cafes, restaurants & bars within staggering distance
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
Who is b3ta's most easily wound up user?
There should be an awards show. Which I would decide and host, obviously.

Ugliest user.
Fattest user.
Most serious user.
etc.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)
I'll try out for Shortest

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)
Somebody told me Wormulus was incredibly short but I didn't buy it.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)
no, he's of regular height.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
He's quite short I thought.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)
He's not a great deal taller than me,
but I didn't measure the difference or anything.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)
this is coming from me, I suppose.
What is "regular height" for men? There's a good range of heights on this board.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)
5 9 - 5 10 is the average

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
I am the average height
5 9
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
for a smurf

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
depending on age range and nationality.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
I obviously meant Bolivian females

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
I'm 6 2, so most people seem short.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
Giant freak!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)
:(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)
Don't worry, I'm 6'6"
so it will be the same margin between me and you, as you and a normal person
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
*pats on head*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
Wormulus is about 5ft 9 1/2. The half matters because I'm 5ft 10" without shoes, and I like the aerial view I get of his side parting

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
You'd both be a bit short in my world.
You should get your heels on. Or platforms!!
PLATFORMS!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)
Me cowboy boots make me 6ft. But to be honest I wouldn't want to tower over you due to the baldness might shine in my eyes :(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)
Don't worry Pipsqueak. I'm 6ft barefoot.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)
I'm 6ft 3.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)
+in high heels

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
It's all that Tyne water, it deforms you. I think your arms are 2ft long
JMG-Rex
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)
Tyranydoleus or something along those lines when the girls are looking.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
me too Jammy, me too.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)
SEPERATED AT SOME KIND OF BIRTH LASTING OVER A PERIOD OF 3 YEARS.
*Firm handshakes*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
*fist bump and nods*
crikey that was a miskey and a bit!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
Us southern softies are stunted from all the mincing

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
speak for yourself!
i'm more southern than you, shorty
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)
How southern?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
portsmouth
pretty southern
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
I'm going to create a 'Lank Corner' at the CHB bash were all the cloud lickers and hangout.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
lawks!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
i'm 6ft 3in of pure sex

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)
*height five*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)
we're fine until trev gets here

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)
I bet you're both all lanky and your arms flail around like rodeo lassos

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)
i'm built like a shit brickhouse

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)
wait...

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
Your head is made from corrugated iron

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
I'm getting a bit porky, it has to be said.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
i'm 5'7
:(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
Spango is about 4ft 1" I think with 48" heels

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)
< 4ft 10" is technically a dwarf
AWESOME!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)
it's true

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
*spinny spinny spinny*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)
no point
with your legs, you would never be able to climb the stairs leading upto the stage.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)
Some ropes and crampons, I'll be fine

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)
i think you should be air lifted in

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
by a pigeon

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
We can get the Doozers to build a rollercoaster up to the stage

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
I think I win the prize of the most "good looking spelltard"

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)
I will take 'Looks Best in a Dress' & 'Worst Legs'

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)
I'm gonna nominate myself for ugliest and fattest

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)
Aww, don't get down on yourself fatso.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
haha :P

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)
Mykey
Mykey
Mykey
Mykey
etc.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)
It's a good job we're all on block etc.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
El Guiri for biggest retard.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)
For no reason whatsoever he started a new thread about how horrible I was
I had literally never seen their username until this happened.

I'm like JMG lite.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
Don't you mean
@El Guiri
for biggest retard
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
i'm only small

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
I think I'll just enter myself into the "Best B3ta User" category.
Your vote will mean a lot, thanks everyone.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)


(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)
Vote, dammit.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
*holds jobe banner aloft*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)
Thanks, thanks for your support.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
I_Was_Mordred

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
Christ, they're shit.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
could there be one for the most tedious
you could host and recieve the award at the same time.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
8888888888P 8888888 888b    888  .d8888b.  8888888888 8888888b.  888 888 
d88P 888 8888b 888 d88P Y88b 888 888 Y88b 888 888
d88P 888 88888b 888 888 888 888 888 888 888 888
d88P 888 888Y88b 888 888 8888888 888 d88P 888 888
d88P 888 888 Y88b888 888 88888 888 8888888P" 888 888
d88P 888 888 Y88888 888 888 888 888 T88b Y8P Y8P
d88P 888 888 Y8888 Y88b d88P 888 888 T88b " "
d8888888888 8888888 888 Y888 "Y8888P88 8888888888 888 T88b 888 888

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)
LADIES! SET YOUR GROINS TO DAMP!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)
Clickin dees

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)
no offence but i think i'd win most normal looking person
ugliest: cr3
fattest: friz
most serious: master of turnips
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
Oh dear.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)
i think you'd win
'least thought put into an answer'
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)
You're 5'7 you disgusting short freak,
you must be missing your shins to be that small.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)
:(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)
You've got a massive spam and look a bit fruity.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
mean!
cr3 is a lovely.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
I think you could be 'best at making value judgements about people based on their internet posting habits'

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
best beard = me

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
joly shit dude
you just jumped into the ugly category with that profile pic xD

but i bet your are lovely on the inside. and stuff. if loves skin deep, you have loads.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)
shut it, halfpint

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
:(

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
you asked for it, shimpy

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
OH THE COMPETITION!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)
I cannot begin to imagine what prize I would win

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)
the gary glitter award

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)
For services to music?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
making young girls scream

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
You could set an award for best background noiser.
But there won't be a winner because otherwise that'll create a paradox.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)
You're my 'most underrated b3tan'

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)
D'aaaw, cheers!
And you are "the best b3tan with Red Rocket as a username".
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
*cherishes subbuteo sized trophy*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
he's my pick for
'worst jokes since malchick stopped posting as much'
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
Some are absolute gems though.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
Suggestions for Most Improved b3tan?
Most underrated b3tan?
The "I can't see why everyone likes them" award?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)
"Worst use of apostrophe" award?
Most pedantic B3tan?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)
No idea.
You.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
I doubt it'd be me.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)
gmos for most fancied

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)
I'd bum him and I'm basically straight.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
What's that martial art you do again?
Kendo? I'm thinking of putting it on my List of Awesome Things to Take Up At Some Point.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)
yes I do kendo.
There are some excellent dojos up your way too.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
Kung Fu and Archery are on the list first, though.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)
I'm tempted by Archery
Kung fu will fuck up your kendo stance ;)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
Oh,
multi-stancing not an option?
I've also got Italian and dressmaking pencilled in. Well, not literally. Err, mentalled in.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
GMoS FOR MOST AWESOME GMoS!
THIRD YEAR RUNNING!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
Grumpiest Redhead in a Leading Role.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)
I'd win 'b3tan most often accused of being a Jew without actually being a Jew'

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)
jew

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
You get accused of being a Jew?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
YOU JEW

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
No Foreskin!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
fuck off jewbag

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
SEE

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
Most internet women defiled.
Another clash of the TITans between Wormulus and Sexface.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)
The award for "Spending most amount of time with 90nz0 in his pants" award is a real two horse race this year.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
Sexface actually wins that over gonzo
:(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
:(!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
Right then, seeing as its summery
Whats your favourite kind of ice cream?

Obviously if food threads arent your thing or this thread in any way upsets anyones sensibilities there is no legal requirement to reply. Forum banter, etc.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)
Pistachio is the obvious winner here.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)
THREAD CLOSED.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)
Pistachio kulfi is win.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)
Toss up between rum 'n' raisin and pistachio
Probably leaning more towards pistachio these days. Gravity.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)
Thats 1000 /talk points for you, right thee.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)
and 1000 weight watchers points.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)
you eat puffin flavour
in the hope that one day you'll bump into chris packham in the 'puffin ice cream' aisle of the supermarket
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)
*runs out crying*
It's true :'(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)
Rum and Raisin wins
No contest. Lean the other way.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)
But I droop to the left

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)
Magnum
Feast
Or Ben & Jerrys.

I can't decide
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)
Deliciously vague

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)
I am quite vague, you see.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)
phish food

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)
RUM & RAISIN

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)
it's not something I typically eat unless someone else has bought it,
and then I'm not overly fussy, as long as it's not strawberry. But when a choice is offered, I tend to go for chocolate, coffee and/or vanilla. Mint choc chip is also a good one.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)
I went to a gelato place in sorrento which did kinder egg ice cream
Wonder of wonders!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)
What toy did you get?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)
Submarine
No toy im afraid, but a submarine would certainly be the winner here
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)
i got a fucking flipbook in a kinder egg
that is the worst excuse for a 'toy' ever
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)
I don't believe a good toy has ever come from a Kinder egg.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)
bobbins
i like the ones where you get to put it together, especially if it has wheels

WOO
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)
three little bits of cheap plastic that you clip together,
you enjoy the novelty of it for about 5 seconds and perhaps even comment on it, and then completely forget about it until it turns up under the settee five years later.
When I was at school, the broken yellow plastic shells were the second most ubiquitous sort of litter after cigarette ends.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)
exactly, brilliant!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)
That sounds... odd...
did it have a toy inside?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)
It was rather good

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)
surprising,
since Kinder Eggs themselves are rather grim.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)
Yeah but, if you had to pick one.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)
There's no single answer to that.
It would depend how I was feeling at the time.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)
Yeah but if you had to pick one.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)
what, as in, hypothetically, now?
I just had a bowl of Tesco Value weetabix, I'm not really feeling up to it.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)
I'm not allowed to reply here...
so I'm not going to...

OH DEAR!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)
fla-vor-ice is where it's at

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)
orange
it's heaven
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)
any apart from banana
i like cookie dough b&j though
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)
Banana ice cream sounds abhorrent

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)
needs onion

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)
The Haagen Dazs banoffee ice cream was amazing

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)
Phish Food.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)
MINT CHOC CHIP
is the correct answer
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)
I'm sorry but it's rum and raisin.
Good guess though.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)
Cookie Dough
or Bum and Gaysin
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)
mint cock chip

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)
Pisstachio

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)
All flavours except Tutti-Frutti
Oh, and let me introduce you to the blobfish www.thejump.net/id/blobfish.htm
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)
ALL FRUITS

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)
He's more morose
When viewed from the front
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)
man what happened to tutti frutti
it was lush
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)
real blobfish
www.kentuckianapugs.com/images/image_caringforpug4.jpg
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)
mint.
or chunky monkey. or cherry garcia. Or any that requires eating off a person.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)
Does that depend on the person
Or will anyone do?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)
Depending on the pastiness of the person in question you might lose vanilla icecream FOREVER

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)
Real vanilla you wouldn't
You'd be able to spot the seeds
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)
I'd quite like to try brown bread ice cream

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)
TRY IT

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)
BULLY.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)
Banoffee and Peanutbutter ice cream.
End. Of. Thread.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)
Raspberry ripple

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)
BIOLOGISTS!
What did I see on Saturday night in Portugal? It lived in the harbour, and the locals called them "sea devils". I couldn't see very well because it was dusk, but they swam like sting rays, making slow flapping motions through the water. They were black and about 5 inches long with "wings" either side of a torpedo-shaped body.

I think they might have been molluscs like sea slugs. Wiki says "sea butterfly" but I'm not convinced. Any other ideas?

If you are not a marine biologist, what's been your favourite military coup of recent history?
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)
Chicken coup d'état

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)
I heard your news:
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/8124059.stm
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)
Strangly enough I was down the pub Friday and a Girls Aloud tribute act were there called Girls Alouder, my god were they rough
www.costelloentertainments.co.uk/AdminImages/gallery/12/girls_alouder_gall.jpg
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)
Good to see that Pete Burns is still working in the music industry.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)
pfft :)
It was really funny. Loads of lads were there, mock horning and 'WAAYHEEEY'ing before they turned up, we didn't even realise what was going on.

They finally turned up and loads of guys just downed their pints and left.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)
Good God.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)
That's been touched up too.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)
Not in a while I'd think looking at them.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)
With mop handle from behind a Perspex screen

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)
In a full hazmat suit.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)
*boiks*

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)
I honestly thought it was a drag act act first

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)
It certainly looks like one.
Especially the second from the right. Fucking hell.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)
EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY QUID?
www.dansatak.com/artiste.asp?StageName=GIRLS%20ALOUDER%20(Girls%20Aloud%20Tribute)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)
Fucking hell!
Only a 1 hour show too!

We do that for £80!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)
Actually, with a costume change It would be £85 plus 10% door.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)
The guilty man
ichlugebullets.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/article-1066435-02dcb4e400000578-703_233x4392.jpg
Fighting internet stereotypes!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)
It was a trip.
You were on LSD.

My favourite Coup was when the Japanese took over the English Government, made us all speak Japanese, then erased our memory of the event. All the Japanese had to learn English which they now call Japanese so we didn't find out.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)
That pigeon coup
Coup, coup
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)
the coup de'gracie

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)
Tommy Couper

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)
sunfish?
I'd like to know what kind of jellyfish stung me in Barca, the cunt. It's still red and bumpy.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Barca,
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)
haha :D

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)
hehe vagina

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)
pffft
ouchies
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)
zing!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)
Seedee?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)
WAHEY

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)
The whole pissing thing isn't an urban legend.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)
No, I don't think it was a fish at all.
Plus, it was too small.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)
Probably a cr3 also known as a Mauve stinger
They can cause terrible problems.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)
The Mauve stinger part was serious btw

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)
I looked it up
that's not it I'm afraid. It was more "solid", and spotty.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)
No idea then I'm afraid
I thought you might enjoy the cr3 reference but alas :P
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)
Nah it's ok
:)
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)
RUM REBELLON OF 1808!
WOO!
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)
Vaginafish.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)
black vagina fish?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)
I don't have a favourite
I would like to know a good mobile phone that isn't complicated to use and doesn't have lots of ridiculously fancy things on it. We need a new one for our on-call phone as ours is dead. Apparently no such thing exists anymore.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)
Nokia 3330

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)
there's also a new one out recently
that has big buttons and can't even send texts (although it can receive them). It's quite well built and designed for old people. Can't remember the name of it.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)
WR1NK13-B100P3RM 104

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)
The Nokia 'ALLO??? ETHEL??? I'M 87 YOU KNOW YA DAFT 'APETH!"
or something
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)
Wow
That's worrying.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)
that's the last phone I had,
it lasted me like 7 years as well.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)
Oh, I googled the wrong number
I had that phone too. Lasted ages unlike the crap I have now.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)
they've realised it's not so hard to convince most people to get a new phone every year,
so there's not much point in making them last any longer than that.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)
True
But I would like a phone that will last the length of my contract without having a fit.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)
Why?
And there's plenty of phones which do what you want, usually aimed at business customers. Nokia does loads.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)
I looked up the wrong number
I don't want a business phone though, I don't care about email, music or internet. I don't even care about text messaging, I just want a phone that rings.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)
Did I say they were business phones?
I said they're aimed at business customers.

www.nokia.co.uk/find-products

pretty much anything at the bottom.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)
fish

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)
ORIENTAL NIGHTFISH

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)
haha
I remember that.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)
Sexy stuff at the end of the Rupert & the Frogsong video?

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)
Seaside woman was the best.
Pappa catch the fish from the bottom of the sea...
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)
yeah!
the oriental nightfish one was a bit odd. I liked Seaside woman, with the little scraggy cat.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)
Gazpacho

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)
oh lol, coup

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)
They're used panty-liners
escapees from the local sewage system
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)
Maybe it was a sea devil
www.thejump.net/id/northern-seadevil.htm

As for coups all of the twentieth century Bolivian ones.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)
I found a 16gb memory stick on the way to the supermarket this morning.
It had NO government secrets on it, sadly. Nor any porn.

BUT IT'S MINE NOW, FATFACES.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)
I found Jesus on the way to the shower this morning.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)
What did it have on it?
The last similar thing I found had loads of German techno on it.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)
NOTHING AT ALL.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)
fill it with porn and leave it under a bush in the woods near a school for nostalgia's sake

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)
haha
brilliant
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)
I found a memory card thingie on the street outside Game
I didn't take it because I don't have a card reader.

MORE EXCITING THEOBAN STORIES HERE, EVERY HOUR, ON THE HOUR
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)
I'd download a PDF about Butlins and a .Doc with your Local MP's address and sell it to The Sun, saying your local MP is moonlighting as a Redcoat.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)
GET IN!

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)
It's one of these:
www.play.com/PC/PCs/4-/6059462/SanDisk-Cruzer-Micro-16GB-USB-Flash-Drive/Product.html

But WELL SCRATCHED UP.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)
They have encrypted contents don't they?
Chances are it is full of files but you can't access them
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)
It's displaying as completely empty.
If there were encrypted files, they would register on the free space/used space thing. But they don't, so it's empty.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)
I've got a 2Gb one.
I paid for it.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)
I've got an 8gb one the same as the 16gb one I found.
They're pretty good.
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)
I bought it to put Linux on
so I could boot it on an old laptop with a duff hard disk.
It didn't work :(
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)
I might use this one to back up the contents of my PS3 then use the 8gb one to install Linux onto said PS3.

(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)
create a virus, place it on the USB to run as its connected
leave it outside a big business building

PROFIT
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »