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[challenge entry] Abi Titmuss!
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:21, archived)
# Nicely sir!
And a Merry Christmas to you too :) *Click*
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:24, archived)
# Cheers Ninj
Been gone a few days, good to be back! :)
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:26, archived)
# Thought you were a bit scarce!
Good to have you back sir! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:29, archived)
# a nice wee rhyme - i likes
Trademark it before clintons get it.

(its 'sleaze' by the way)
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:28, archived)
# haha
cheers and changed now!
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:31, archived)
# nicefully ninja-d
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:39, archived)
# nice rhyme
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:35, archived)
[challenge entry] haha
Talking of letchy old bastards...

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:39, archived)
# lap dance
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:51, archived)
# LapLand - The best Lap Dancin' joint in town!
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:07, archived)
# ...


animation of it afictitiouslife.blogspot.com/2009/12/subway.html
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:21, archived)
# That's fantastic!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:22, archived)
# thank you!
:) i was going to put some people running out - but decided i'm too lazy for that! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:27, archived)
# Fucking hell!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:22, archived)
# i've never worked out
if that would be hot or cold :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:27, archived)
# bloody marvelous
looks like a scene from "Earthquake!" only modern, and English.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:23, archived)
# thanks
i shall have a look for Earthquake - but i'm guessing i know the plot already! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:28, archived)
# Charlton heston's shirt falls off
If that's not an incentive to watch, I don't know what is
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:34, archived)
# watches right away
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:44, archived)
# depressing but cool
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:24, archived)
# sounds about right!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:29, archived)
# depressing but cool!
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:24, archived)
# alight alright we heard you
: p
only kiddin
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:26, archived)
# wtf?
only posted once
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:28, archived)
# depressing but cool!
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:26, archived)
# hehehe
ta! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:29, archived)
# Awesomes as ever m8
keep it up :D
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:26, archived)
# thank you!
i've not done a lot of shopping recently - i do miss it! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:30, archived)
# sort of same here :)
been too busy in work trying not to get fired to shop much :(
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:31, archived)
# bloody bosses
when will the learn
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:32, archived)
# Shopped pictures only, please
/obvious.

That's mightily well done right there.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:27, archived)
# hahahaa
thank you sir! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:30, archived)
# that is indeed really well done
reminds me of halflife
(I helped save b3ta! Dont point it at your face up the ass, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:28, archived)
# thank you :D
i've never played that - people often say my stuff is silent hill(ish) :D but not played that either!
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:31, archived)
# Coolness!

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:28, archived)
# thank you sir!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:33, archived)
# snice, dat
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:29, archived)
# cheers
btw - I'm still not an American teen ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:33, archived)
# like, HUADDEVERRRRRRRR
:-D
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:11, archived)
# see this proves it
i have no idea what that means! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:17, archived)
# nicely done :)
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:32, archived)
# thank you
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:34, archived)
# As a victim of the London bombings...
Ah, fuck it, that's ace!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:40, archived)
# i honestly hope you werent and i havent upset anyone ;)
glad you like! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:42, archived)
# How is nobody paying you for this stuff?
You are ridiculously talented, Sir.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:40, archived)
# i wish someone would
sadly they dont :(
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:43, archived)
# I clicked "I like this"
As its ruddy bloody brilliant.
(AMadDayYes, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:45, archived)
# woop thank you
also top marks for using Ruddy (as i'm a Rudd!)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:48, archived)
# Magnificent!
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:05, archived)
# thank you
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:05, archived)
# Consider me suitably impressed.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:05, archived)
# hehhee ta muchly
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:09, archived)
# Oh hell yes.
That is amazing. And scary. Amazing and scary.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:08, archived)
# thank you very much!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:09, archived)
# I miss the Northern Line of a morning.
Great Stuff, consider yourself enclicked.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:21, archived)
# thank you very much
i should find out who took the photo :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:23, archived)
# That's flippin' awesome
I love the here's-how-I-done-it animation too.
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:15, archived)
# thank you
:D glad you like the animation! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:04, archived)
# great work dude :D
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 23:19, archived)
# Even though the Bond film was on, you just couldn't get Nan out of her Sumo suit...
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:18, archived)
# "Ahh Mr Bond, we've been expec...oh, I've wet 'em again"
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:19, archived)
# Any tenuous excuse....
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:22, archived)
# I like this.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:06, archived)
# Strangly hypnotic nipples!
A glass of port, the christmas special Antique Roadshow and the suit's yours Ninj!
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:38, archived)
# Hahahaha...
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:41, archived)
# It's that time of year for charity
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:12, archived)
# I find this deeply offensive!
Mainly because Harold Bishop is my father! You're so insensitive sometimes!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:14, archived)
# I feel your pain
*whimpers in sympathy*
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:16, archived)
# Haha dribble
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:15, archived)
# That's too kool to drool
I was going to say that I thought Christopher Reeves was dead, but you proved me wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:19, archived)
# Actually the sauce is Tom Cruise
before a headshop
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:21, archived)
# Tom Cruise?
Well him and Reeves are both different sides of the same coin :p
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:26, archived)
# Charlie Sheen falls in there somewhere
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:47, archived)
# Win a book competition time - It looks like a cock


Authors Ben & Jack have put together lots of photos of stuff that looks like penises, shoved it into a book and figured it would fit in with B3ta.

You can buy it on Amazon.

Anyway, we've got 6 copies to give away. Complete this tie-breaker in 15 words or less. "I love cock because... "
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:59, archived)
# it has a greater depth of flavour than a standard chicken
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:00, archived)
# they help make baby chickens
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:00, archived)
# I'm a cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:01, archived)
# Pfft!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:05, archived)
# winner #1
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:09, archived)
# i am a massive gobbler of it. it tastes so yummy in my manflange. cock love.
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:02, archived)
# EDIT: "... I'll do anything for a free book."
I was looking at this book at the weekend, and in terms of desperate, last minute christmas presents it's much better than this
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:02, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:05, archived)
# oh dear lord...
not once, but twice
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:06, archived)
# The number of chicken related gags are making me glag
It's like people are shying away of saying why they really love cock... ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:07, archived)
# I went on Amazon.com looking at that Frankie Boyle book
(which was linked on this or last weeks newsletter, sponsor link) and read the pdf segment from it, funny as fuck :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:05, archived)
# it pulls out all the stops
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:03, archived)
# nothing tastes better when it's dipped in batter.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:04, archived)
# I love cock because, because,
it tastes a lot like cod of course,
cod in lovely parsley sauce!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:05, archived)
# I love cock because,
It tastes like cod in a sauce,
Cod in parsley sauce.


^ That's a Haiku.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:10, archived)
# I love cock because I went to public school.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:11, archived)
# Bless you
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:11, archived)
# Yes, it is.
When you finish writing it all out on edit ya twatnugget ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:12, archived)
# I spastically hit enter instead of tab
Also.... Fuck off!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:13, archived)
# Wah wah wah!
As a great man once said, Yer maw! ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:14, archived)
# ...it's mine and daddys secret"
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:05, archived)
# Ben & Jack gently cock-slapped me in the face as a kid.
(I helped save b3ta! Peregr1n @peregr1n, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:06, archived)
# NNSFW*
www.swaffelen.nl/
*Not Necessarily Safe For Work
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:10, archived)
# from wankers to bankers, we all hanker to spank 'er
or something
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:06, archived)
# it makes for a rudamentory club to beat children with, with varying degrees of strength
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:07, archived)
# How much did Archie charge them for the front cover quote?
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:07, archived)
# Haha I wondered that
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:08, archived)
# I've never been a cat person
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:08, archived)
# It tastes like cock
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:08, archived)
# if I didn't, that would make me into some kind of freaky heterosexual.
PS someone needs to make a Hulk Hogan 9-11 reply for this quickly :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:08, archived)
# I *am* one of those freaky heterosexuals
does that mean I'm not allowed to like cock?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:10, archived)
# no, of course you can love it
Just love your own, that's all :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:11, archived)
# but... but...
I don't have one!

Where can I get one?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:13, archived)
# Would you like to borrow mine?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:13, archived)
# that depends
does it taste like chicken?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:15, archived)
# It can do or not, depending on your preference
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:16, archived)
# Yum
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:17, archived)
# Lol
I dare you to shout that question out in the street.

Top of your voice and filmed on your mobile please :D
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:14, archived)
#
because I see them everyday in realistically drawn beauty on cockaday.co.uk ;)
(I helped save b3ta! unclewilco, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:09, archived)
# cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:10, archived)
# I love cock it never takes the piss
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:10, archived)
# ...it's only gay if you put both balls in your mouth at once!

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:10, archived)
# With the shaft?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:13, archived)
# GAY

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:15, archived)
# I can't bend over that far
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:13, archived)
# have you only got a tiddler then?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:15, archived)
# 4 inches
but most women don't like them that wide
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:24, archived)
# , because, because, because, becaaaause...
Because of the wonderful things it does.
(I helped save b3ta! BrassMonkey PRUNES ARE PLUMS! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:11, archived)
# damn I got in too late.
narf
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:00, archived)
# it makes horse racing funny when you see an erection....riding a horse.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:12, archived)
# cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:12, archived)
# MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:13, archived)
# i'm so old
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMfoTetDwWo
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:25, archived)
# I love cock because...
Teacher pays me 50p a day to sit upon it
(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:13, archived)
# I'm ginger
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:14, archived)
# In fairness.....
...they've got more love to give.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:15, archived)
# when in the bath with a broom-on you can pretend you're a pirate ship
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:17, archived)
#
You, sir, are a winner.

(You *are* a bloke, aren't you?)
(pitarou, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:24, archived)
# the colour Magenta would be unemployed if cock didn't exist.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:18, archived)
# no no no....
The colour is glans mauve......
(tofer is sweating like a dyslexic on countdown......, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 1:48, archived)
# ...frankly i'll say anything to get this book so i don't have to think about my brother's christmas present
/more than 15
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:21, archived)
# it makes people smile!
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Oleary MAKE MONEY FAST $$$, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:21, archived)
# without his crowing,
the sun would not rise;
darkness would cover all the land.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:21, archived)
# because . . . IT LOOKS LIKE A C**K!
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:25, archived)
# I've only got one leg.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:28, archived)
# CLEVER BASTARD
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:29, archived)
# it's something else we can call "John & Edward"
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:28, archived)
# I love cock because
cock loves me
(crontle likes boobies, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:32, archived)
# of this book
farm1.static.flickr.com/25/40489986_dd96b6a285.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:34, archived)
# It's not gay if.... Fuck it. It's gay.

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:04, archived)
# "I love cock because... I've been on B3ta.com far too long!"
(I helped save b3ta! benkai Doing nothing as of ..., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:44, archived)
# because I got bird flu while serving male poultry at Morrisons
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:45, archived)
# cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes,
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakescornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes.


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:54, archived)
# I love cock because it's like Jesus; it loves everyone unconditionally. Oh glorious, glorious cock.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:04, archived)
# because love spurts.
(I helped save b3ta! Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:51, archived)
# Because because because becaaaaaaause
Because of the wonderful things it does!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:59, archived)
# ... I stalk you and I want to like everything you like
(I helped save b3ta! armaitus Sheep Casings!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:53, archived)
# Because it has the texture of slightly cooked bacon
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:54, archived)
# I love cock because it has the right thickness, girth and self-lubricant to slip right up my arsehole
(__, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:02, archived)
# Thankyou google
for I have sorted my straight brother's Christmas present:
www.prowlerdirect.co.uk/default-mainmenu-2-mptid-6-ptid-185-detail-45860.htm
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:11, archived)
# ha ha
that's special indeed
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:21, archived)
# I love cock because
I can spin it fast and pretend to be a sexual spitfire in my garden.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:25, archived)
#
I love cock because I love that helicopter thing that boys can do.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:32, archived)
# I've got one.
(chb3 Read my lips. See my profile. See me talk., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:36, archived)
# I love cock because...
it rhymes with sock, oh and lock, but not lemon, or cardiomyopathy. Trufax.
(I helped save b3ta! JebediahSpringfield, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:37, archived)
# I love cock because
it's cock
(M0nkeyb0Y ... you said "Simples"... like in the advert!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:58, archived)
# i'm your mum
(I helped save b3ta! bigshape like a glove!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:27, archived)
# I love cock because...
it gives me a convenient place to hang my towel after my morning shower.
(pitarou, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:27, archived)
# I'm forever running out of tea spoons.
(I helped save b3ta! Dervel OTBC, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:27, archived)
# I love cock because...
My Daddy told me too
(I helped save b3ta! SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:17, archived)
# I love cock because
is an anagram of, "Evacuee cock boils."
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:18, archived)
# I love ~naughty~because
How could I be a good girl otherwise ;-)
.
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:36, archived)
# I love cock because...
(I helped save b3ta! moogthedog, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:54, archived)
# I love cock because...
I've already bought the book, and I need another copy for the other eye. Cock.
(I helped save b3ta! moogthedog, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:56, archived)
# ..i’m a bender
(catbrain likes the hairy scratchings bestest, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 17:18, archived)
# ...it's cheaper than fanny on a saturday night.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 17:25, archived)
# I love cock because...
Its the best of all the animals.
I love cock because...
It's my friend! Deagostini.
(I helped save b3ta! giftedweasel forgot what he was going to type on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 18:02, archived)
# it's perfect for sealing up my boyfriend's leaky shitpipe.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 18:02, archived)
# dey mek dat "Holidez ar cumin" advert an it mek me fill all Chrismassy
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 18:50, archived)
# ..it's a handy place to put ring doughnuts.
(ToMeToYou is bumming a Unicorn on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 19:23, archived)
# I'd love anything for a free book
(bluehamster, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 19:29, archived)
# ...because in prison beggars can't be choosers.
(I helped save b3ta! hismastersvice cunting flange-jammer, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 20:40, archived)
# cock loves me
(Roopy all is not what it seams, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 20:53, archived)
# ...
it's made of glass.
(Thrillhouse will be prosecuted on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:16, archived)
# I'm a girl and that's what we're supposed to love.
(Orchid WHY IS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP?!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:55, archived)
#
You can leave it behind and still keep people happy!
(swampi thought of this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 22:40, archived)
# I love cock because
I had mine cut off and made into a mimsy. I have photos!
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 23:23, archived)
# We asked you to complete the following in the most apt or amusing way, "I love cock because... "
and the winner is a Mrs Trellis of North Wales who wrote "I love cock because... it's quite good"
And that was by far the most amusing of the many hundreds of entries we received...



from Mrs Trellis
(Azrepheal Just cos Im pure evil, doesnt make me a bad person, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 23:28, archived)
# it makes me all warm and gooey inside.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 23:29, archived)
# I love cock because
we'd be fucked without it. Literally :P
(vampyre_gem has been dead since, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 1:12, archived)
#
if I don't daddy cuts me.
(doris_day, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 1:36, archived)
# I Love Cock Because...
It reminds me of my favorite play things
(I helped save b3ta! rootsxrocks, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 6:27, archived)
# ...cos I'm a chicken
(I helped save b3ta! camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 9:35, archived)
# my boyfriend is black and hung like a horse!
I'm not boasting - I'm just very fortunate :0)
(Faye Tality, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 16:49, archived)
# cock understands, dear.
(I helped save b3ta! nick the greek, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 17:59, archived)
# I love cock because....
...it doesn't go off as fast as sausages.
(bertmcmuffin gruff gruff, touch my stuff., Sat 12 Dec 2009, 20:11, archived)
# ..it doesn't have a "time of the month".
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 20:15, archived)
# ...it tastes just like chicken!
([sic] You're ad here?, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 22:04, archived)
# you can put it in rude places
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 6:32, archived)
# iph tafthes pho nyth
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 9:13, archived)
# I love cock...
because cock loves me!
(winestain, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 2:31, archived)
# it's easier to find.
(WooSkadoo, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:31, archived)
# Because
It is better than Pepsi
(I helped save b3ta! simbosan is too tired, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 0:16, archived)
# I love cock because
it tastes a hell of a lot better than cack
(timtam h4x0rd @, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 11:05, archived)
# I got bored murdering prostitutes
(Ich Komme is adjusting his testicles, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 19:15, archived)
# I love cock because...
OM NOM NOM NOM!
(Honeycomb is a dirty groupie!, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 20:20, archived)
# I love cock beacuase...
daddy told me too.
(The_Crund, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 22:56, archived)
# it keeps me on the straight and narrow.
(I helped save b3ta! owensanity, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 3:19, archived)
# i like cock because
i take it up the ass.
(TIMBIonline available for any passing drunk sailor, Wed 16 Dec 2009, 6:46, archived)
# it helps me forget about the cancer
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 1:51, archived)
# it's the best thing to scratch puppies with.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 19:58, archived)
# without it, none of this would be possible
(ripeinmay, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 21:22, archived)
[challenge entry] You've got your "Thomas", now feel my "John Thomas"
(I helped save b3ta! Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:45, archived)
# ho ho ho

(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:49, archived)
# Ahhhhhh....
Christmas smiles all round
(I helped save b3ta! Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:54, archived)
# needs more gel
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:13, archived)
[challenge entry] And there's more
(I helped save b3ta! Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:37, archived)
# it's never too early to introduce children to porn
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:40, archived)
# Arguably, they're born into it
What's the first thing they see when they pop out? A big, wet muff, that's what.
(I helped save b3ta! Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:41, archived)
# Hahaha
These are great. Loving the genitalia.
(I helped save b3ta! BleachedEgo draw a cdc then get back to your teen porn.Pricks, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:45, archived)
# needs more "Back Door Sluts 9"
South Park blog
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:46, archived)
# wtf
is wrong with her genitalia?
(I helped save b3ta! Dont point it at your face up the ass, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:29, archived)
# Hahahaaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:11, archived)
# Factoff slyman cow all
(sinister, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:27, archived)
# x=fact(or)
hopefulvotes(y2) then hopefulvotes(y1) = SAFE
if hopefulvotes(y3)hopefulvotes(y2) then hopefulvotes(y2) = SAFE
if hopefulvotes(y2) SMALLER hopefulvotes(y1) and hopefulvotes(y3) = POSSIBLY 1 HIT IN CHARTS THEN OBSCURITY

#constants#

let cherylcole = WANKAMMO
let cowell = HAWK FROM BUCK ROGERS AFTER USING JUST FOR MEN
let louiswalsh = DATED PIXIE FUCKER
let john&edward = CUNTS

stupid html window, stopping me putting greater than and less than symbols in lol
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:42, archived)
# hahah
this nearly makes sense to me
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:04, archived)
# Ahead of the pending release of the Shame and the Dignity, Kia have developed a new slogan


it's weak I know, but it's been in my head for too long so I thought I'd share it with you bummers
(Freegan Bikefascist, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:21, archived)
# *bums*


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:27, archived)
# Why me no see no b3tards?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:29, archived)
# b3tards been having some issues of late.
Shouldn't stop you seeing this, but anything over 90 days old has been archived. Go to the b3tards homepage for details.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:31, archived)
# B3tards homepage no worky
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:52, archived)
# OK for me...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:54, archived)
# robtoo posted last night
saying there's some dns problems from the switchover to a new host that should work themselves out over the next few days
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:53, archived)
[challenge entry] It's a stressful time of year....
(I helped save b3ta! Darklord, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:21, archived)
#
haha. I had the exact conversation with Mrs B. It didn't go well

mate of mine at work clued me in to how folks with kids get around this; ask the cherubs to pick out the present then it will never be wrong ... plus they do all the running around while you relax with a nice baileys/coffee.
(Freegan Bikefascist, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:24, archived)
# My mate has a sweet deal
Him and his missus both go on Amazon and stock up on whatever they want to a set amount.

Job done.
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:24, archived)
# Same conversation here....
...which the missus instigated. Which makes it a bound contract. Now how do I get her to buy me Modern Warfare 2....
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:28, archived)
# Make sure you go with her
or you'll end up with MoH: Airborne.

"Well, it's a war game, isn't it?"
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:30, archived)
# Get her to buy Dragon Age: Origins instead. Way better*
* may not actually have played MW2**
** too damn busy playing DA: O
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:39, archived)
# I've played both
and Dragon's Age is a very close 2nd :D

Tbh, I'm selling old DVDs on play.com at the mo to get some credit; halfway to Modern Warfare 2 so far.

Also, keeping myself busy with Mass Effect for the time being, damn good game.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:44, archived)
# Not half. ME2 out next year :D
BioWare is one of those game houses where I basically buy anything they release.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:50, archived)
# All their games are very purchasable.
They're the new Squaresoft :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:58, archived)
# Yeah.
I've tried with recent Square releases, but just get bored of them after oh about a hundred hours!

Downhill since FF8 IMHO
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:02, archived)
# actually converted and playing FF8 on the psp atm
Never finished it, so I'm going through it again, good for a handheld game :D
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:20, archived)
# I never 'got' mass Effect
I spent an afternoon on it, and thought it was the dullest game I'd ever played.

Looked great, played like treacle.

The missus bought me Ghostbusters, and Beatles Rock band for my birthingtons the other day.

They are both good fun. Ah, I remember when games were fun
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:05, archived)
# Took me a while to get into too...
One of those that benefits from a couple of runs through. the vehicle gameplay was toss though.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:07, archived)
# Only thing that annoys me is that Mako tank
Just landed in Ilos atm after fucking Ashley :D
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:21, archived)
# Nings!
I'm sure this isn't the first
(I helped save b3ta! doog Don't read this., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:28, archived)
# hehehehe...
I can't help thinking that we are fucked.

But I'd still rather this bunch than the other lot
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:37, archived)
# I think it's probably important to vote
but I may just wipe my arse on the ballot paper . . .

Maybe Harry Hill should decide the next Government in the ad break of TV Burp.


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:44, archived)
# Harry Hill for Prime Minister!
or Charlie Brooker
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:52, archived)
# now for the foreign policy
with zainab badawi
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:57, archived)
# Stoofer as chancellor
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:08, archived)
# Still good though sir!

(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:59, archived)
# TVM
(I helped save b3ta! doog Don't read this., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:01, archived)
# Genius!
but you knew that already
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:09, archived)
# Bless you Joe
*Hugs* \O/
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:21, archived)
# Hit a man while he's down, that's what I say


Tiger doesn't always pull when he goes clubbin'

(Edit and, now that I look at it, he dances like a spaz)
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:31, archived)
# What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:36, archived)
# They've both been clubed by Scandinavians.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:37, archived)
# LOL
Tell me again, human!
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:37, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/9830428
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:37, archived)
# Ahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:45, archived)
# time 2 go 2 work :D
(herman:D, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:25, archived)
# Very cool
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:32, archived)
# what a fine friday morning thing
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:08, archived)
# i've just realised you only added the stella
i want to take back half a click
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:34, archived)
# Hahaha
Great
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 17:06, archived)
# hahaha...LOVIN'THIS !
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:58, archived)
# Tiger's new logo
(mzungu, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:05, archived)
# lolz:D
(herman:D, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:19, archived)
# ha ha
very good
(I helped save b3ta! lord bofingham, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:09, archived)
# Cleanlines, Godliness and stuff
Inspired by this inane rubbish: www.crosswalk.com/homeschool/11602419/



BATOAP?

S
(I helped save b3ta! simbosan is too tired, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:47, archived)
# That is indeed pine scented madness.
And an arf for the pic.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:04, archived)
#
S P A N G !
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:11, archived)
# Groans and clicks
(I helped save b3ta! Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:40, archived)
# Well...time for breakfast!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:45, archived)
# NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:49, archived)
# Tastes like chicken.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:52, archived)
# :D
(herman:D, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 7:20, archived)
# Urgh.
That's horrible and brilliant at the same time.
(I helped save b3ta! BleachedEgo draw a cdc then get back to your teen porn.Pricks, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:20, archived)
# Tiger FFFUUU
(uusipaavalniemi I am poo., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:06, archived)
# No, that's what my reaction to this stick wielding twat's endless tart list is.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:10, archived)
# Mine is one of indifference
CELEBRITY HAS SEX OMG
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:16, archived)
# also i finally hooked up my pc to my keyboard properly so here is a song i did today
www.sendspace.com/file/p52wys

I mean it's only two chords and I got the beat from a sample disk but it's been so long i'm back in novelty mode.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:21, archived)
# Nice separation. Even in the thicker sweepy bits the parts sits well.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:28, archived)
# We've only reached the mid-point of the mania.
This will be milked well into the spring. Sport and entertainment shows will be
on this from a dozen view points. Unless someone else one ups this, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:21, archived)
# young stormtroopers were always bullied on their first day at the academy.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:25, archived)
# it's the cockpiece
(JoePesky, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:30, archived)
# formerly, codpiece (wonder what fish had to do with anything)
BTW, Delete files is inactive on this uploader--any way to remove?
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:53, archived)
# well i got two things to say
and the first thing while your all still asleap is:
happy christmas1
edit second thing is that morgans spiced rum and gin is terrible possibly on my orst ideas list and thats a pretty bad ass list as you might imagin.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:55, archived)
# SHE FAIRLY FLEW ON FARTING FEET
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:01, archived)
# eep your not asleap
what work of devil keeps you on your feet?
actually ive got to move out and do something, but like a drunk freak who possibly right now thinks they are tinkerbelle I will return! eugh i feel even more creepy... well i am creepy so i suppose thats carma or some shit. anyway see you in lik e 12 days or something... not you personally im not stalking you or anything im kinda sending out this vibe that means more to me than anyone else... oh this is getting sorse. I didnt start out like this you know... i wear greay and drive a rover and stuff im not exciting i just well thinking about it ,,, i am not xciting but perhaps my alter ego things i am. this is why i drink so much.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:04, archived)
# balance?
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:08, archived)
# you didnt say that before i edited
so now i have to say something else to make that look like it would have made ... oh im going to have to edit in a word that would fit that
edit : continuity doesnt really fir the bill thise is more along the lkines of sam bekit as in the quantum leap guy not the irish drunk head fucker, who incidentally i forgot to mention perhaps in an edit i havent done yet
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:14, archived)
# well, I'm actually on my arse, not my feet
and it's only quarter after midnight here.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:15, archived)
# ok
im not actually goingto type much now im not in the mood anymore
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:18, archived)
# I lied i typed more
and what i should have said was yes i am wrong. wrong wrong wrong and more over your hiku or thing wot u did was superb I miss you please take me back its hell living in this caravan the smell of cold wet plastic keeps me awake at night and the memories are the worst they burn like fire searing regret on my soul... or something
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:24, archived)
# hello Jamnog
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:39, archived)
# hello you sexy fucker
you got me hot as allways
edit :(hot as in flustered and drunk and fwarorar and where the fuck am i?)]
edit : 2 im allways sdrunk
edit : 3 im allways over drunk easy over that is... no actually just drunk
over easy... easy over... over ... uhh whaenyhtf
edit 4 im gonna sleep nn
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:41, archived)
# When you wake up
remember, drink lots of water.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:08, archived)
# Top yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:16, archived)
# with raspberry sauce, a flake, and hundreds and thousands?
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:20, archived)
# yes i get allot of that
but with things as they are i think i will stay and entertain everyone with my mirth, ever notice how chris moyals deals with things in a similar way? heh yeah i think we are both a pair of cunts on some freak spectrum only i dont think i have enything to bring to any table or demand shit from anyone... or have, i have gin im ok
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:20, archived)
# Glad to hear it.
Top me too, while you're at it, old chap *proffers glass*
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:23, archived)
# yar onwards with the gin and morgans (if you add a bit of tescos super concentrated orange its all good )
its a long name for a drink but its doing the fndango
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:25, archived)
# ^clinx*
Good job too, cos I'm down to my last 2/3 of a tin of Scrumpy Jack and must be up and sprightly in the morning.
Fortunately, my colleagues think I'm scary. They haven't yet twigged that I'm merely hung over.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:31, archived)
# ahhh they will never know
the blighters are probably living in the world of pew and scroter and no doubt time will heal all wounds as does anything that time does. nip shereee and dont let the bed bugs bite
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:40, archived)
# I am verily liking this for lots of reasons
*clicky*
(I helped save b3ta! Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:38, archived)
#

once i had a baffs with mrs.fiend and got bubblebath in my mouf and done a sicks all in the waterz :( *true fact* have you done anything of such sorts before, because im very proud
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:16, archived)
# I once did what people in SW England apparently call a "whirlysplat".
But, thank fuck, I was on my own at the time. Although my flatmate did subsequently ask what'd happened to the bathmat thingy.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:20, archived)
# Who hasn't!
There was a place that did drugs testing that went by the name of Pharmchem. They had a party. There were drugs. I went out to my car with some gorgeous babe to smoek a joint. I puked out my window. End of night.
(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:23, archived)
# And now you've got three tits!
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:27, archived)
# Yes but, I had those before I ever smoked the pot.
(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:37, archived)
# That's Pharmchem for ya.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:40, archived)
# Pot has that effect on me
which makes it hard for me to understand why people can use it as an anti-emetic. But, horses for courses.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:29, archived)
# Last year, I was doing a prep for colonoscopy
which involved drinking 64 ounces of Powerade with laxative mixed in. I soon found myself unable to leave the toilet, when my stomach decided it had dealt with the mixture long enough, and rejected what remained inside. I couldn't throw off the ballast in the toilet, tub, or sink, so I had to just lean over and let fly. I made a perfect hit on the towel I had on the floor as a bathmat. Saved a lot of cleanup time, and the green color washed out surprisingly well.

Did you like that? It's not even my best puke story.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:28, archived)
# *asks*
whats your best puke story?
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:34, archived)
# *answers*
This is what I consider my best, your mileage may vary. In any case, it's my favorite.

I was 14 years old, and one night I suddenly took sick and ran into the bathroom to empty my stomach. I was just about done, and with one last mighty retch...my retainer fell out of my mouth, sunk through the miasma of vomit, and down to the bottom of the toilet.

I had to make a decision. If I tried to retreive my retainer, it would be, well, remarkably disgusting, seeing as how it was sitting in a crapper full of barf. If I didn't retrieve it and tried to flush it down, I would be out one orthodontic appliance and possibly end up causing damage to the plumbing, both of which would piss off my parents immensely.

So, I did the only thing I could. I rolled up my sleeve and went fishing. Flushed the mess away and did a surgical scrub on my retainer, hands and arms for probably half an hour. You can believe I made sure that never happened again.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:41, archived)
# This demands a serious animation project.
Only slightly less ambitious than 'Avatar'.
IMAX, all that.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:57, archived)
# somebody get James Cameron on the phone
I, uh, lost his number. Yeah, that's it.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:35, archived)
# Face it: you just can't be bothered.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:39, archived)
# My puke story also involves powerade
My friends and I had been tripping and wandering around chinatown staring at neon all night and began wandering back to one mate's student accommodation.

On the way there he mentioned that his dorm was full of rugby fuckwits who would spew all over the bathroom and not clean up, so it would sit there until the end of the week until the cleaner came.

Long story short, after an evening of drinking blue powerade I did a massive blue spew all over the bathroom floor. A couple of hours later there's a commotion in the hallway and we all go out to investigate.

Some meathead was claiming that it was his spew and high fiving his mates who were apparently impressed by it.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:35, archived)
# I think we learned something today
1. Vomit is power.
2. Powerade should have its name changed to Vomitade.

I still have an aversion to the stuff, but it was the least offensive prep solution I've had to consume, by a long shot.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:37, archived)
# I don't think I've ever had to drink a 'prep solution'.
Maybe that'll change in the next few years, I hope not.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:48, archived)
# The prep process is the worst part of having a colonoscopy.
Well, apart from waking up during the procedure and feeling waves of godawful pain.

The best part is the drugs they give you to knock you out for it. Almost makes having a camera shoved up your arse worthwhile.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:12, archived)
# The Original and Best
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:56, archived)
# PURPLE DRANK
You could get some awesome looking spew from that stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:19, archived)
# Yum!
(I helped save b3ta! tubaman, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 6:29, archived)
# Haha
I don't have any good puke stories.

The most memorable was snorting back a booger till it got stuck in my throat and a I spit it out of the playground blacktop. I just stared at the booger for a minute and then hurled.

And then the Catholic school teachers made me feel bad about it.

I wish I didn't still have hate in my heart for those old bitches, but I do.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:52, archived)
# I spent a couple of weeks in a Catholic hospital when I was young and had pneumonia.
The nurses were bitchy. One of them damn near bit my head off when she saw I was hanging out with the little girl in the room across the hall from mine. For God's sake, I was five years old. I didn't know anything about communicable diseases, I just knew there was a girl my age across the hall, we were bored and she had comic books.

Something about that religion makes monsters out of certain people.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:04, archived)
# Indeed it does.
I had some lovely male Catholic school teachers in high school. I think the difference is between Sisters and Brothers. My sisters' school, run by nuns, sounded like it was the same old shit.

Crusty old, latent-homosexual, automysogynistic bitches...

On the other hand though, none of the Brothers ever tried to touch my 14 year old cock. But to be fair, not many people were trying to touch my 14 year old cock.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:19, archived)
# You shall become the Pet Shop Boys of the 21st century
AICM£1,000,000.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 5:05, archived)
# cute picture, except for the tubboy effect :P
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:31, archived)
# And I do love his evident pleasure.
It makes me quizzical about her evident displeasure.

Women! What do you bleedin' expect?
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:36, archived)
# She must have been expecting something
to be wearing that crash helmet.
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:42, archived)
# she should have done a tubgirl in response.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:42, archived)
# *his*
meaning *mine* i was laughing my head off
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:44, archived)
# "I was only trying to make you happy, babe."`
" ..."

"Oh, ffs. There's no pleasing some people."
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:50, archived)
# Bubble tit
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 3:55, archived)
# well done!
when i die no one who cares about my life will ever know im dead xD
edit : was ment for the post below (well the last part) /introspective /recursive / cant spellive cause im drunkive
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 4:16, archived)

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