b3ta.com talk

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A while ago some b3ta blue namer died, right.
I forget how but it could have been suicide or something. I think he was an asian fellow.
Anyway, someone said "It's always sad when we lose one of our own" referring to losing a b3tan, but who else has died that was a b3tan?

If you can't think of anyone or there aren't any, who do you wish was dead. Let's get it off our chests.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Syncubus, without a fucking doubt.
/ac
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

I guessed first
What do I win?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

you get first sniff of his sweaty gusset

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

JMG >:(

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

EASTER HAS ARRIVED EARLY!
*Runs around punching fatties*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

:((((
bully
(

moohalaa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

When we need FRUITS in the new world to host fashion shows and be afraid of space spiders, will you be up there doing your bit for Earth?
I expect you'll sign up at NASA.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

Armani space suits or I'm NOT GOING

(

moohalaa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)

i don't wish anyone was dead
what's with all the hate?
(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

You don't have to wish someone dead.
I was just giving people an easy out.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

Parrott

(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

haven't we all got blue names?

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

*spies on spangolin*
Not any more!
(

thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

ah none of my browsers save clicky things like that.
purple links are a think of the past for me.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

Didn't some boarder top himself a few years back?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

that nikon fella?

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

That's him.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

b3ta.com/board/7707640
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

I mean as well as the bloke you mentioned.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

Yeah this could be who I'm talking about.
Someone linked to his last few posts and it was all a bit weird and there was a news link too. He can't be the only b3tan to have died though, surely.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

we lose around 3-4 lurkers a week to drug overdoses

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

If you can spare just £5 a month, or whatever you can, we can help these lurkers go on living.
Together, we can help.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

I honestly don't wish that any of you were dead
You're all alright, innit.

Probably a few have died, but who'd tell us if they did? I'm sure if I died tomorrow, no-one here would know if I'd died or if I'd just stopped posting.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

I hope you don't die tomorrow.
I only sent your randomburn away earlier today.
:-/
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

Aw now I'm staying alive for sure!

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

*flowers....flowers....kittens....nice lollypops..*
(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

Nobody.
All the people I really dislike should spend more time alive, more time living out their shit existences in the full knowledge that they're bloody rubbish.

This is the same thing I think about capital punishment.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

I don't think I want anyone from here dead.
It seems a bit extreme for people on the internet.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

that spangolin, she's a right bitch

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

I heard she's already dead, inside

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

All the mini b3tans are proper evil I hear.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

they've got the normal amount of Human Evil in them
but it's condensed, see.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

It causes them to get you all good and juiced up for fun (yes I said juiced)
and then they LEAVE LIKE BASTARDS.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

:((((((((((
we had to go home for a long day of packing I'm afraid. There will be more opportunities for spango-Wow funtimes!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

That's what I wanted
you're not a bastard really, you're proper bo.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

*fistbumps*
there's a whole summer of fun ahead, don't you worry.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

Yeeeeeeah boyyy.
AHFUCKINELL. Just clicked my knuckle and it really, really hurt.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

That is well true facts, innit?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

That's just short person syndrome.
Doesn't just affect b3tans.

*Gets angry*
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

Short man syndrome is amazing to watch
my best mate's quite short, and he proper makes up for it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

it was
that nikon fella
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

I wouldn't want any of the shitter ones to become martyrs
But JMG should die young for that very reason, self-destructing during a cake and warcraft convention
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

the two
combined!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

you
you fat trolling spastic bastard cunt
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

I thought we were eFriends :(

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

ok then, I'll change my answer to Karl

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

Then who will you laugh at for supporting Arsenal. Online.

(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)

Everyone except me, so I can declare this place as my own.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

I don't wish anyone on here was dead,
but I do think some of the more prolific brain-farters should have their fingers broken.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

you seem like quite an angry person at times

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

You can't really get your tone of voice across in text.
What looks like anger is often no more than weary impatience.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

i will adjust my reading of your posts accordingly

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

<s>weary impatience</s>
bitterness
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

I'd just keep licking across the keyboard with my tongue.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Deffo not you.
I'd never get my pity randomburn then!
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

Remind me after my holiday dewd.
I'll download some ub40.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

Alright you terrible shitheads. I've been invited to two summer weddings these coming months.
Recommend a date and suggested attire.

One is Queer Eye's.
That's an inside quip for you JMG information fans.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

Weddings are unutterably dull
unless there's a free bar, of course. Then there might be a fight.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

Oh Queer Eye's will be brilliant.
I put good money on it being a hoot.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Don't wear a beret
Don't take a beret as a date
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

This is sage advice.
My initial answers were Beret, Baldmonkey.
You've set me right here, GMoS.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

I'm always here to help

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

weighted disk like item used on track and field events...
discus.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Wear a trilby and cape.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

Fuck it, I'll go with you if there's free drink involved.
I have a dress somewhere.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Weddings are so dull.
See if you can avoid being present until the free alcohol begins.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

I'll tart myself up and you can take me.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

+ up the arse.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

Hurrah for interesting wedding photos.

(

thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Linguistication must have posted

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

I've fallen out with him. I'm VERY annoyed on the internet about it all.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

I wiped, after.

(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

HELLO SYNCUBUS

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

~~Linguistication~~ Syncubus
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

yup
it's the redneck transvestite all right
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

Seems to have already been banned.
Ah well.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Octember 32nd
butt nekid
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

well,
here's the date

and heres the attire.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

GOLLY!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

How PC of you,
but im not black.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Better
attire.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

A grey suit with matching waistcoat. Pink shirt, dark red tie
Bonus points will be earned for selecting a tie that matches the bridesmaids' dresses; more points will be earned if pointing this out leads to a sexual enounter of the first, second or third kind.

Alternatively, outdress everyone including the groom by hiring a morning suit for the wedding, and a dinner suit for the dinner. Black tie, of course.

RNUK HAS SPOKEN.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Pink shirt and dark red tie?
That sounds fucking horrible.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

Maroon, then.
A subtle pink, not a stupid garish pink.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

Hmm, I suspect that would look like nice on Noit, him being quite sallow, but he'd never wear pink.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Only the toughest men in the world wear pink.
So you're probably right.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

umm
~~toughest men in the world~~ gays and the welsh

you are right about the grey suit though.

must be 3 piece. crisp white shirt and red tie.

this is the outfit
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

Why all the line breaks?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Makes up for lack of content.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

Does it?
Does it really?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

it's how I think
I've tried to stop putting in too many line breaks. I can't help myself though.
Why does it bother you so much?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

It was just a question, calm down.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

I am calm
mine was just a question too
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

with the white shirt and red tie
he'll look like a politician.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

I disagree
with a light to medium grey suit and waistcoat a white shirt and red tie looks good.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

It's just making me think of David Cameron.
Also, not too light a grey on the suit, otherwise he'll need to shove up the sleeves, get a Dirty Den cut and start driving a mark 1 astra.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

I was thinking something like this
www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/dscf1703.jpg
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

I'd call that a medium grey, yeah
alright, that's very nice. Lovely waiscoat, I do love a 3 piece.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

I kind of forgot how dark my suit was
3 piece is the business
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

That is very nice.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

thanks
it's nice to go to a couple of weddings and find that your suit is the nicest one there.

very comfortable for balcony sitting and croissant eating also
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

The bride will be wearing enough white.
Get in pink, or if you're scared, light blue.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

light blue is almost as gay or welsh as pink

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

light blue is 79.6% gayer than pink.
At least if you're wearing pink, it says "I'm confident enough to pull this off."

Light blue is clearly the pussiest of all of the colors.
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

I'm not up on the shirt/tie combo, but I like your thinking on this.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

The key is to stand out, JMG.
In the current climate of mass hirings of suits by a single tailor for one party, he who wears pink to everyone else's white will be a king amongst men.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

Freddy Mercury says "YES"...
...and a Queen, later.
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

Oooh no, never pink shirts.
Still the grey suit, but I'd make it a green/darker green shirt and tie combo.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Green?
Are you on crack or something?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Green is nice, pink is SHIT.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

THIS.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

Maybe in Ireland, where the populous might be sober just long enough to slur their way through their vows
but not here. Oh no.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

What the fuck has that got to do with green being nicer than pink?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Nothing.
I just felt like getting in an irrational insult.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Fair enough.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

If you want to wear a pink shirt
just be a man about it, stop going at it half-arsed and just wear a pretty princess frock.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

They don't believe us.
Pillocks.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

I like maybe one shade of pink, that's it.
Green is looovely. Not as nice as black or red, though.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Green's my favourite colour, by far.
Green and black together, oh yes. I own far too many green or green and black things.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

Mine is red.
Even my glass are red. Well, my old ones are. But I am wearing those, seeing as I've broken and lost my two new pairs.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

I've got new, retro tortoiseshell glasses
they're almost horn-rimmed. Oooh they're lovely.

My old glasses were red. Well, a dark red.

Glasses are brilliant. I'm never getting laser treatment.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Yeah, I'd miss wearing glasses too much.
I want new glasses, but i am poor.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

I am now I've bought these
but free reactions at specsavers made me decide to finally buy some new ones. I've needed a new prescription for a while so I don't feel too bad.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Do reactions work properly?
They used to be crap, I haven't heard anything about them lately.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

They do, aye.
Not that I have anything to compare them to.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

Cool, might start saving, so.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

I would, while they're free.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

Although if you don't get reactions,
the frames are half price!

I went for this option with my new glasses instead.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

Yeah, I did that last time and then NEVER wore my second pair
so I thought fuck it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

I'm with runky on this.
A green shirt would look ridiculous. Not sure I'd go with the red tie, but that's a matter of taste.

I don't know where women got this reputation for knowing how to dress, but it's clearly bollocks.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

In my mind
pink is for little girls and cheap strippers. I hate it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

I don't know how to dress
this is why I look like I got dressed in the dark.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Hahaha. This.
A darker pink tie would be better than a red tie, I think. Or yes, maroon.
(

Jobe, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

green sucks. almost as much as pastels. GET SOME COLOUR MAN!
(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

Hire?
What are you, some kind of poor person? Every man of taste must surely already own varied and appropriate dress for both morning and evening wear.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

The advantage of hiring a morning suit
is that it after you've spilt your third bloody mary down it, the dry-cleaning bill rests with the shop and not you.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

Ah, I hadn't thought of that.
I apologise and retract my accusation.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

Let this be a lesson to you.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I wish I had a wedding to go to this summer.

(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

You probably know some men.
Just marry one of them for a bit.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

You have to wear a hat.
You wouldn't want to blind the vicar, resulting in him falling in the font and the ceremony getting cancelled.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Wear a waist coat and monocle.
Take your mum.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

Medjool and Dunlop.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

Will you be my best man?

(

Jobe, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

JMG is THE best man.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

I've won awards.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

Excellent.
I look forward to your speech.
(

Jobe, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

Barefooted.
*dusts hands off*
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

...

...

what?
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

This.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

Syncubus?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

defo

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

I don't know.
I'm going to one on Hallowe'en. I might go in fancy dress.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

All weddings are fancy dress.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

I mean hallowe'en costume fancy dress

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

Go as GMoS.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

But then the bride will ditch the groom at the altar
and marry me
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

If I ever get married I think I'll have a fancy dress wedding.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

It should be bride and groom themed.
Imagine the confusion.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

Haha.
I'd make something like Stargate or Star Trek.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

I don't think I'd get away with it.
I could pretend to be some kind of fairy princess I suppose

/girl
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

You should totally have a fancy dress wedding.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Nah.
I don't really want one.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

:(
I want to dress up.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Well you can't.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

But I want to:(

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

But I haven't even sent the invitations out yet. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

This is like the end of "The Sum of All Fears" and I'm that russian lad.
You're Ben Affleck. Baldmonkey can be the US President etc.
GMoS on drums.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

Mykey is Baltimore.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

YOU
Were you able to read my writing? Do you find yourself in possession of a new coaster?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

YOU DIDN'T SAY IF YOU COULD READ MY WRITING
DOUBLE R
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

Donna Air
Top hat and cane
(

M o D, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

Whatever became of Donna Air?
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

Wiki says she was in The Mummy Returns.
That's about it.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

4 October 2012?

(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Syncubus.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

I really should consider
taking it all back.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Oh.
God.
(Shatner, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

got my first wedding band gig this month. i wonder what i'll wear..
(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

I've got some spare red uniforms

(Shatner, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Haha

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

JMG Trump Thread [warning - contains something of interest]
I'm watching a show where they're levitating frogs with magnets...

Weird, and not very useful for much, unless you have a lot of frogs you need to suddenly shuttle somewhere...

but picture it from the bloody frog's perspective?

You just KNOW that frog is rubbing his head, thinking, "Man, I shouldn't have had that many flies last night! This feels like a pretty fucked-up situation I'm in right now..."
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

Hahahaha, yeah.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

I thought this thread was supposed to contain something of interest?
I want my fucking time back.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

*refunds*
Don't read this, either.
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

No, stop it.
Fuck off.
Bad new person.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

I'll get the rolled up newspaper.

*swats*
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

KILL THEM!
BEAT THEM TO DEATH!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Take your pills Trouser.

For Gods sake.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

SHAN'T!
It's no-pills-Wednesday, and you are all going to suffer for it.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

Fuck off, new person.
EDIT: SHIT, DULL, new person.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

Meissner effect.
I had an exam yesterday where a question about the meissner effect could have come up.

It didn't

I know lots about the meissner effect.

BUT THEY DIDN'T FUCKING ASK ME ABOUT IT.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

and "not useful for much?"
It's useful for lots, cretin.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

...only for your new frog-shuttle monorail...

(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

oh fuck off you dull spastic, no one gives a shit

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

I do.
and I'm a one.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

*counts*
*checks math*

You know? He's right, this time...
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

Can you offer an explanation of it that a layman would understand?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

Stuff gets cold
all flux goes bye bye

shit floats
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

That'll do for me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

that's what I had planned to write if they asked me.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

I haven't done an exam in ages
I sort of miss it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

I liked doing Spanish exams
loads of translations to sit down and do.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Thpaneesh.
The wife did it at school, I didn't, and now I remember more than him (as in I remember mira and escucha from the walls of the language lab)
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

I loved it
always try to refresh it when I can.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

Do mine then.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

You won't be pleased with the results.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

I won't be anyway

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

I'll make it all about cake.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

It bounces, if you shit it hard enough
onto a non-Newtonian fluid, actually.
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

what is flux?

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

It's a three pronged thing that goes in a capacitor.
Duck string, maybe.

I'll be quiet.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

2.21 gigawatts!

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

1.21, duh

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

You crazy woman
you could move ALL OF US with that.

can you move us to Friday night please?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Duck string?
Is that the stuff that comes off tape if you don't unroll it right?
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

It most certainly could be.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

so is god.

(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_flux
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnetic_flux
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flux_Capacitor
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soldering_flux
(

M o D, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

mmm, love the smell of that burning off.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

in the morning?

(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

thaaankyou

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

erm, ooh
that still doesn't make much sense to me. Never mind.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

read it twice, didn't see anything interesting there

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

MAGNETICALLY LEVITATING FROGS?!
...possibly with a hangover?
(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

oh right
now you're being LOLRANDOM

fuck off now, there's a good chap
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

my pancreas is giving me gip.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

your post style is very similar to that of forum user rotating wobbly hat

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

It is, too.
No wonder it's shit.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

Shhh...

(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

HOW can you get upset at JMG within a week?!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

it'll soon come to the point where people who haven't heard of you wake up angry and they don't know why

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

My unborn children are already angry at JMG.

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Nobody liked the teacher all the girls fancied at school.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Simples.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

comedy account

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

It was preordained by my Creator.

(Linguistication everything is prosable., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

I thought you meant trump as in botty burp.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

The frog was probably too busy going LOL RANDOM to care

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

[GENERIC ABUSIVE COMMENTS]
[follow up remark, despite this thread being no more or less interesting than the thread created by a popular /talk figure before it]
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

[reply from angry poster about LE CLIQUE!]

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

[JMG's Fault]

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

Hello new person.
Please would you clafify whether it is an amphibian or a Frenchman.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

This thread is why /talk's turned shit,
because here we have a perfectly reasonable opening post being slagged off for no reason other than to seem edgy. Shut the fuck up, you cocks. Be nice.

Well, the first few comments.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

[edgy reply]

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

We fear change.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

that's why I only pay by debit card.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

Hear, hear.

(

FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

it's a wider internet trend
i wouldn't worry about it
(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

What the oaty one said.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

See?
They've won over fatty with their JMG remark!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

There's a surprise.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

How about no?
This is not why /talk has "turned shit" at all. It's all down to your mum.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

it's mainly your fault dave

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

I blame baldmonkey.
The shit spastic.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

I blame Flapjack, and the "when this was fields" brigade.
/talk hasn't changed a tiny bit - you just got old and boring. Move on!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

There's a Search button up there to prove you wrong.
You're not doubt too busy being down with the cool kids to care.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

You're projecting. You're the one trying to down with the mong kids.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

i typed the best post ever here, reminiscing about the golden days of /talk
and it fucking vanished when i hit post :/
(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

BGN

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Brilliant.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

FLAPJACK FOR KING OF THE WORLD

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Flapjack!
They had a go at JMG!
They were asking for it!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

I'm pretty sure this is actually the way the internet has worked since forever...

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

It's not how /talk has
and it's no excuse for it continuing to do so.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

we're not 4chan yet.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Their system was arguably better
in that enforced anonymity meant that every post had to be judged on merit alone, rather than the personality of its author.

That's been done away with now, though.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

haha
better? it killed 4chan
(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

In theory, maybe
but I'd be interested by what standards a system that leads to grieving parents being harassed by internet cowards is "better".
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

i'm not sure how you got that anonymity lead to that

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

I'm not sure what else it was
and I'd bet money that it doesn't happen much on any forums where there are usernames and offline contacts.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

the complete lack of rules and moderation were probably a larger factor
since you can post anonymously anywhere, all you need is an email address
(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

The system was fine,
it's just the people who were shit. This is a common engineering problem.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

The same crowd saved a kitten though, so, yeah, SHURRUP!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

I concede, the system is better.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Sure we are.
I'd bet that more than 50% of recent memes are stolen from 4chan.

"Internet: Serious Business", being one used here a lot.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

memes are one thing
but 4chan is more than that, it's a gathering of internet retards.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

erm, and /talk isn't?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

not so much
we do have our idiots, and people who pointlessly rile others, but overall I've found people here to be nice. It's a shame some have to spoil it for everyone else.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

How many /b/tards have you met then?
I think you'll find they're the same.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

I don't bother going over there, so none to my knowledge
I did for a while but found it annoying. anyway, how does that relate to my previous statement of people here being generally nice?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

people are nice outside /b/
sometimes
(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Hi! I'm Dave Trouser, and I'm wasting your time.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

Is that a bit from your stand up routine?

Needs work.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

Piston Broke is jotting it down in his notepad as we speak.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

bollocks,
he cant write.
(

Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Better than ol' boy down there.
Still, it's not an anecdote you should tell in a public place.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

There's a frog crossing near my house.
It's got an ace sign with a picture of a frog on it and everything.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

How does the frog know? They can't read or recognise a pictographic representation of themselves.
When will the signmakers learn?
(

FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

this is possibly the least interesting thing I've ever read.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

magnet frogs
I mean come on.

WE COULD BE TALKING ABOUT LUNCH!
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

MAGNOFROG!
Scourge of paperclips and small easily attracted metal things!
MAGNOFROG!
(

FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

LUNCH
LUNCH
LUNCH
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Good point.
Did you like the burnt ends then?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

I did yes, it was quite tasty, I ate them and then I had some gins and some tonics at the train station whilst reading.
Then I sat across from a woman who tried to sell me her book for an hour.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

I also read at the train station
nobody tried to sell me a book, though.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

it was a shit book.
Something about women having trouble with men.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

Mine's crime. I like crime books.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

WTF!!111!!! NO WAY, LOL!!!1111111
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

Sure does.

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

Hello new person, welcome to /talk.
Good try, stick with it. Once people recognise your name you'll maybe get less abuse.

Unless it turns out you're shit, then you'll probably get more.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

No. Back to me.
I have to be up at 3am, or at least stay awake through the night to get to the AIRPORT tomorrow.
Feel free to now hold random brainstorming and subsequent tearful fallouts.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

I have to be up at 5am.
just to be MoT like.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

You're a binman.
I'm using internet logic.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

I'm a student doing frantic revision.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Internet+revision=procrastination

(Fartmonger, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

not procrastination
= massive cramp in my right hand so taking half an hour to stop being in pain.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

I don't think that's a valid equation.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

Oh cock.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

Looks bad for the exam tomorrow, eh?

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Cramp in arm/hand = massive wanker

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)

No pain
No gain
(Fartmonger, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)

you've said it on the internet
so now it's true
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

You barely responded last time.
Try harder, internet.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

I agree.
The internet is incredibly poor as of late.
Much better internet is required to grab JMG.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

I, for one, was very dissapointed

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I've been thinking of new names for you.
"Al isn't really a Geordie now".
"Al tells people he's a Geordie on holiday so he can be geographically linked with somewhere".
"Al the Jam Master Geordie fan".

etc.
What have you come up with?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

I have to go to that there london tomorrow.
At 7am
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

Where abouts are you flying to, if I'm not prying by asking
I'm sorry, no worries, I'll let myself out
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

In the current climate of terrorism and fat people's misery trying to spoil entire months at a time.
I feel my travel plans are best kept secret.
Just like Royalty.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

Either get up at 3 am,
or stay awake all night to make sure you get to the airport on time.

That's my advice anyway.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

Are you going to the USA to upset the fatties over there?
It's like missionary work.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

The last time I was in the US I managed to shout "BROOK-LYN!" and was generally applauded by all.
I think this outshines anything any of our political leaders have achieved in recent state visits to the US.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

we do need a good punching

(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Cool. I want to fly off somewhere.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

Potatoes and other HILARIOUS remarks.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Yes, I'm Irish, you see.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

Go to bed at about tenish, sleep as much as you can, up at three
and then sleep on the plane.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

JMG doesn't sleep on planes.
It's a terrible situation.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

If you took Captain
she'd help you to sleep on the plane, she'd hit you on the head with a breeze block.

Lovingly, naturally.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

Nytol is the answer,
especially as you turn up the other side and looking listless and drug addled.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)

Who will look after the JMG online fanclub whilst you are gone!?

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

I will. I will shave a baldy patch into my head and go on the dole.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

I'm not leaving!
Internet is everywhere. I'm not going on holiday.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

ahh, you've got a part-time job emptying bins at the airport
careful now, those dole snoops are everywhere
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

Well done, G!
You've tippled my expertly laid plans!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

Will we still be treated to mysterious hoodies and crushing judgements of chair-ridden wobblers?

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

Of course!
I'm a 24/7 correctional officier of YES!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

i don't have the heart for forum banter now, too sad, i think i'll go home now, via the pub

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

I'm already up, so fuck you

(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

This should be my morning motto.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

you're right
it's catchy!
(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

p.s.
i say it to my reflection
(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

Renga session
Renga works like this. First someone posts a poem with verses of 5-7-5 syllables. The next person responds with 7-7

Here's my opening haiku

Moses was a man
God was his inspiration
What then, was the bush?
(Fartmonger, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

Shut up and fuck off.
You are a dull spastic cunt.
I hope that you die.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

This is fucking marvellous.
Perfect response to this shit.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

There, 7-7
What now?
(

thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

.
Another 5-7-5
(Fartmonger, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

WILL IT NEVER END?

(

thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

That wasn't...
...7-7
(Fartmonger, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

You think I actually read any of your shit post?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Thats 5-7-5 again, so its wrong
Bloody good point though
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Could we all stop hoping people die?
We've already seen what happens when everyone hopes SSG dies. Isn't that enough?
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

But he's a male b3tan.
/ac
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I predict this will end in tears.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

Any minute now there will be virtual slamming of doors
And online weeping into pillows
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

A lot of people don't seem to understand how eggs work.
/ac
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Lemon flavoured
/ac
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

Kids are shit and make more noise and mess and cost MONEY.
/ac
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I'm good at haikus.
This retard is a fat cunt.
He should fuck off now.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

.
How did you know that I'm fat?
Are you somehow watching me?
(Fartmonger, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

Fat is a state of mind.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

Why are you putting full stops in the subject bar, you fucking spastic?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

(_)_)----D
Better?
(Fartmonger, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

Too complicated for this time of day
Although im certain other forum members will appreciate a thread of this type

Welcome!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

nah, dull, bingo?
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

YAY.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

poems?
What are you gay?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Vagina vagina yay.
Red sea red sea, yuck yuck yuck.

Awww, shit I fucked it up, I can't count at all. NINJAED.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

let me climb inside your clam
I think I can see a pearls
(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

a pearls what?
do fuck off.
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

OK let's give this a try
SCREEEEE!
SCREEEEE!
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

How am I doing?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

How are your pronoucning SCREEEE?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

Like this
S-C-R-E-E-E-E
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

seven syllables... seven.
how to write a poem that short?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

He, stabbed in the eye
staggered wildly, arms flailing,
attacked with a fork
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

The Honda Accord
Ultimate Justice Mobile
BEWARE, Ye Bullies!
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

This is bad, even for /talk.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

FATTIES!
Let's see some smiling faces. JMG's on!
What's the current hot topics being discussed?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

a regular is dying
you should really read a bit before you post a new thread
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

he really is so self absorbed, today of all days a little bit of empathy towards other forum users could have been a nice change

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

yep

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

You're upsetting people with your smile.

(

thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

:D
One of our favourite online friends has a terminal illness. :)

I'm not sure smiling faces are appropriate. :p
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

^__^

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

What my new job should be.
Well, it is in my head. I don't like this one, the people are horrible and I can afford to earn less for a bit if I'm doing an apprenticeship or something.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

I'll give you a job.
The hours are long and there's no pay.

Want it?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

No, I need *some* money.
I can go down to about £600 after tax pm, but that's as low as I'd go, and that's LOW.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

Wow.
I can afford you for very long time.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

I'm reasonable, it's true.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

(:

(

SuperMatt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

*BEAMS*
As you have studied the fatties' ways Jammy I would like help with my extremely important question: what should I have for lunch?

If it's rubbish I will then have real cause to BLAME JMG ONLINE.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

I'm not an expert on lunch. I'll be honest.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

you come on here, asking for smiles today, how fucking dare you, you utter cunt, i hope you get cancer

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

I wouldn't wish cancer on anybody.
Apart from SSG of course.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

.... ooops.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

}:)
tattoos, JMG, for or against?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

I know you didn't ask me
but for.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

I know you didn't ask Wow but against.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

You didn't ask Wow or GMoS
but depends
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

nobody asked me but 'tramp stamps'

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

No-one asked me either
but FOR! They need to be done well though and by a proper artist or they look atrocious.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

I have none.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

jmg, i feel better already for seeing you!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

What on earth has been going on?!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Considering the news of SSG's sad demise
Perhaps we could raise some funds for a tombstone for him?

Any suggestions for a way to raise money amongst yourselves for this worthy and tragic cause?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

Party!
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19895
(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

I'm on it like vomit

(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

I'll buy the stone, if it is shaped like a toilet bowl.
Tramps could use it.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

The person who raises the most gets first dibs on his bird
And his beard trimmings
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

my bird is going to my brother.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

how very biblical

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

Henry 8.0 ...
... made that mistake, and look how he turned out.

(Er you know, Kate the Arrogant was married to Arfur. Too much information?)
(

lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

I never knew they got past Henry 4.3
Was he a Beta version?
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

RC1

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

my the
r l
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

i appreciate your efforts, mykey,
but i am only having a little funeral and my ashes are to be scattered on sophia gardens, in cardiff.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

Perhaps we could raise awareness of this terrible affliction
Some sort of image challenge of you heroicly fighting off cell division?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

that would be a fitting tribute
to this terrible illness.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

We could have a /qotw in your honour

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

Or an image challenge.
Oh no wait...
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

You need: Cell Division!
fc06.deviantart.com/fs7/i/2005/227/8/6/_ID_Contest_Entry_3__by_Cell_Division.png
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

UNITED HE STANDS
cell divided he falls.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

Oof

(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

Great
I suppose the gardens will then have cancer.

The whole of Cardiff will proably get it.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

they aren't actual gardens.
it's a cricket pitch.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

That's OK then, cunts who play cricket deserve cancer.
I wonder if any of the buxom b3tan ladies will give you a quick sympathy fuck before you die ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

i don't want to fuck any of those mingers.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

i'd rather die of cancer.
oh wait!
haha.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

Maybe you could cancer up their bucket like minges before you go ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

In all fairness, this news is
shitter than this.
NEVER give up and that's an order.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

henry ploppins.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

i just can't really take it all in, it's so tragic, i've just checked and he's even too old for the 'make a wish' foundation
talk about kick a man when he's down, shit times
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

Elton could do a song

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

Ashes in the wind

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

We should make an adult version of "Make a wish"
Call it "Have a wank"

We could get celebrities to wank him off before he dies, see how many would be up for it. I bet Peter Andre would, it'd help keep him in the public eye post-divorce.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

Shame beadle is dead, it would have made his cock look bigger

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

There's always the odd celebrity dwarf

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

Jumping off Brighton pier to the sound of sammi laughing hysterically.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

i was on brighton pier this weekend!
what a coincidence.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

Did Sammi give you cancer?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

She turned me into a newt
I got better
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

She spreads deaf and racism where ever she goes.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

nobody say it's name again or else it will appear

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

I have decided
I'd rather be Sammi than have cancer.

At least if I was Sammi I could have sex with blind lesbians.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

And emo's
www.b3ta.com/talk/6187960
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

You mean Emus ?
Do they bury their heads up filthy holes like Ostriches do ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

oh god.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

the thing is,
the main problem with sammi is not her looks or anything, it's that she is just so incredibly stupid.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

and her looks, don't forget her looks.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

i couldn't give a shit about her looks.
this is a text board, i don't have to look at her if i don't want to.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

Dull too.
That's important to remember.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

In the next update, cr3 is going to add little pictures of ourselves next to our posts
You'll be able to see everyone's gurning mugs staring at you with their blank, soulless, pie-filled eyes.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

My ignore list will suddenly fill up.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

If we had that, I wonder how many male b3tans would block all but the female b3tans

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

And the attractive female b3tans
which means about 10 of them
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

that will be great, i hope he let's us choose different colour text too, and maybe have a massive panel of emoticons, even animated ones

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

I'm going to have the first 15 seconds of some of the best indie tracks playing every time I post
It'll be well wicked
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

in real life she looks very nice, she just photos badly, she told me that

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

haha

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

ARRRRRRGGGG YOU INVOKED IT, RUN
and even blind lesbians would cop a quick feel of the face and body and run in horror
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

Yeah but dude
it's still got to be better than cancer
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

How much cancer are we talking here?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

Hey, lol!
randomn.es/images/821b4b049de1a8c65dd4c87b0bb2bb85.jpg
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

"Here lies a prize cunt"
"His dog punching was legendary"
"Even though he had a face like a smacked arse, somebody liked him"
"Bum my corpse"

Any of these would be okay for the stone.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

I've just finished this mini-milk
you can use the stick if you want.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

could i have it please? i'm building an alpine cabin for my smurfs

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Euphemism?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

It's obviously Cancer Wednesday.
What part of you is growing out of control?

edit: also, is it, or isn't it?

www.b3ta.com/talk/6194277
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Toenails
But I've also got cancer of the hair.

I predict a cancer meme.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

my chemo full romance

(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

RED HOT CHILLI CANCER

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Indiana jones and the TUMOUR of doom

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Crosby, Stills, Nash & CANCER OF THE CUNT

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

My shit from my arse hole

(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

I'm
quite the opposite.
(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

yeah, yours just comes out of your mouth.

(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

my hair. BUT NOT LONGWAYS, it is fluffing out and curling and shit.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

lol

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

Sorry I just thought of something funny.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

I've got a failure for you.
"mike woz ere".

LOFFLE!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

:(

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

my ego.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

bumholes

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

crotch rockets
and violins
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

i'm not sure how much longer i'll be able to deal with cancer jokes, to be honest.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Hey Gobbo: shut up

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

about 6 months?
/sorry. I'm assuming from a quick glimpse down the board this is all 'internet humour'?
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

Yes!
Great Justice.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

oh how i wish it was.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Photos
or it didnt happen
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

What sort of cancer is it?
If it's penile at least you can have a big dick for a few months.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

pancreatic :(

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

I hear only gays and mongs get cancer of the pancreas

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

i am both :(

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

ignore them gobbo, they are behaving badly, this is no time for forum banter

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

Poor Sir Scan Anomaly:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

But im a Saggitarius:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

When you've had Chemo
you can pretend to be that bloke off of "Little Britain"

You can do HILARIOUS comedy routines dressed as a gay.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

If mongychops can beat it, so can you SSG.
I believe in you.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

they said there is practically no chance of me making it through.
but that suggests that there is a chance, so i'm going to do all i can!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

Loads of people have cancer
some of them are already dead.

It's a shame but life goes on.

I have a sore tooth.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

life goes on?
are you taking the piss?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

yes
I figure if you havent got cancer, it doesnt matter, and if you have, you deserve what you get for admitting you have cancer to a bunch of cunts online.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

fair point.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

Oh man! A sore tooth?
Look at these cunts, going on about some "cancer" bullshit, when you've got toothache. Disgusting.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

in the wise words of spandau ballet
gold
Always believe in your soul
Youve got the power to know
Youre indestructable
Always believe in,because you are
Gold
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

i find all this very distasteful, you should be ashamed of your fucking selves, grow up, there's a young man that needs our online forum support and you joke around
terrible forum
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

MONGYCHOPS IS AN AIDS HEAD

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

i can take that, just leave sir sand goblin alone you troll

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

Are you his mum ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

All of me
In a few weeks I will be a mile high and six kilometres wide. I will open one of my many mouths and vomit boiling blood over the world. After your skin sloughs off your waxy, leathery bodies, I will open the bowels of the earth itself and rupture my distended heart upon its fiery core, ending the world for all time.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

I Like This!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

it is a b3tan yes.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Yeah I'm fairly certain that's cleo.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

I want to know how 4chan got it.
Is she a secret /b/ camwhore? There is no "sup /b/" datestamp, so maybe not.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

that is cleo.
but the boob bit is photoshop :(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

DO YOU THINK?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

it took me a while.
i nearly got a lob on but then i saw the pixels :(
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

this excites me sexually
www.thebrunomovie.com/bruno-movie/bruno-movie-trailer-2/
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

NOT ME IT DOESNT

(

sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

HELLO RIK
Tell us a story!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

i'M HAVING FEELINGS FOR A GIRL AKIN TO THE ONES I HAD ABOUT MY EX ALL THOSE YEARS AGO WHEN I FIRST JOINED B3TA
she's one of my photographer mate's models and might be coming back up on friday. we had the LOLSICKRIKSEX etc.. but I actually want to see her again and she said she likes me. the amazing five days we had together highlighted how dour and boring my life has become. she has fake boobers (nice ones) and is a BRUMMIE
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

a brummie?
you fucking sicko
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

she's ACE

(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Never mind all this information
tell us about how much she cried when you fucked her and how you forced it up her shitter when she wasn't looking.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

she's mad in the bedroom
MAD I TELLS YER

seriously i've met someone more perverted and dirty than me
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

+dy

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

:-D

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

oh man you are the most sexually active and handsome pulling machine
who has ever had sex with hundreds of supermodels all at the same time in a bubble bath or something yeah yeah awesome sex yeah!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Shush now, dead man walking.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

He's shit
but I'd rather be Sikrik than have cancer
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

that is actually a good point.
apparantly i'm going to have trouble even going to the shops in a couple of weeks.
better stock up on bog roll.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Thanks Rik!
I look forward to your next adventure!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

and things couldn't be better!
this is one fine life
this in one fine wine
this is one fine wife
this is on fine lie
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

also, I don't hold great hope for this one.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

There's a surprise.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

Didn't Eminem get a bit upset about him?

(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

It was revealed as a set up
Although pretty convincing on Eminemenems part.
(

magnum, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

apparently it was rehearsed
but they didnt tell him just how nude sacha baron cohen was going to be.. he wasnt upset with the stunt, just with getting that much manarse stuffed into his face.
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

Hairy muff

(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

it was rehearsed apparently, so... no, not really.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

I really hope Gobbo is lying about the cancer thingy :(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

NOW IS THE TIME TO WEED THEM OUT

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

i know not the context but agree

(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

When is he due to die?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

180-or so days

(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

Me too,
but chances are someone on here's going to get cancer of one sort or another.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

Yes
and if any of us got cancer, the first thing we'd do is tell everyone on here. that's the classy way to deal with a terminal illness.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

I've got AIDS
Sympathy please.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

You wouldn't get sympathy if you were thin, you cunt.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

I'd probably tell you lot,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

what makes you think it was the first thing i did?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

yeah but not lovely gobbo, oh god why him, why not one of the shit needy b3tans, please god take a dull fucker next time

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

~~this~~ anything
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Uh, me, I think
I felt a sharp pain in my arsecheek, and assumed that I'd left the tag in my new boxers. I also thought "hang on, boxers shouldn't *have* tags in..".

I pulled it out, and it's a passport photo of me from about three years ago.

What the fuck.
(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

friz, i have pancreatic cancer.
it's well advanced.
they say i have about six months left.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

can i have your stuff?

(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

you can have my porn collection.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

normally i would be right up for that.
but yours is probably all guro..
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

Who the fuck are you?

(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

Are you going to die online ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

ideally.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19895
(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

i'm putting myself down as a yes,
but bear in mind, i might not make it.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

:(

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Can you lot take piston_broke back from QOTW/OT please?
his dullness is bringing me down
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

Haha, no.
Ye encouraged him, tough shit.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
no
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

I must meet him at some point.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

You will be sorry.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

I know, but still, I'm curious.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

This,
don't bother, honestly.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

Everyone defends him until they meet the dull prick.
Then they agree.

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY DRUGS?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

At least you didn't have to spend 90 minutes on a train with him.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

I did have to spend an extra night at the first HB bash I went to listening to him.
At least Mooey and Easty were there.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

He has been to every one.
Must be around 10 now.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

please mr hoodbutter sir
can me and esme tie him up somewhere and forget about him next time? please, please? *flutters eyelashes*
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

Welllllllllllll....
OK
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

*win*

(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Yay!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

really.
dont.. i thought all the ragging was slightly unfair until i met him. he is lucky the hoodbutters didnt have any rope.
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

SEE.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

I might have to at some point, if I come and bother you all at a /talky bash.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

By all means.
I was thinking of having a girly picnic type bash at some stage.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

Oh now that does sound lovely.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

Where do you live?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

Buckinghamshire.
Just to the left of London if you're looking at a map.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

Left?
LEFT?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

If you're looking at a map.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

LEFT??????

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

Do I have to glove puppet you?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

do you want to?

(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

Will there be hair braiding and ribbons and kittens?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

YES

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

I'll consider it.
Thing is, I'm such a massive misogynist...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

I can't wait.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

WANT IN.

(

sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

p.s. i live in devon, make it easy

(

sleepybinky, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

See I sort of feel sorry for him
but then see these sort of comments, as he's pretty much the only b3tan people have met and still have a go at them. Even the trolls and the wierdos usually get defended post-bash visit.
(

magnum, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

get out of here STALKER!

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

I said come in,
don't just stand there.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Ha.

(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

We spent several years trying to get rid of him.
You think we want him back?
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

you're going to have to sweeten the pot a whole bunch if you want us to take that deal

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

I'd swap him for baldmonkey.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

I'd rather have boring
than shit
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

Exactly.
baldmonkey's posts are actually a waste of time to look at or read. At least other shit cunts use actual words.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

what'll it take
I'm willing to invest quite heavily
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

a brand new honda accord for every single /talker

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

*ponders*
almost worth it
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

There isn't enough power in the world
to create that amount of justice.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

Shut up and fuck off.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

how about
you shut up and fuck off?
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

Oh, ZING

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

thought you'd like that one
;-)
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

Faultless retort.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

I was here first.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

Shut up and fuck off.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

Oh you cunt.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

THERE CAN BE ONLY id=1

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

shut up and fuck off

and it's me, if we're playing by those rules
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

There are 9840 people left

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

I'm one of them,
but I've been beaten by 300 :(
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

muahahaa

(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

hello!
everyone should stay and be lovely!
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

bastard :D
ello gobbo :D
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

shut up and fuck off.
:P
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

Shut the fuck up and fuck the fucking fuck off, you cunt.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

hello you pisshead irish harridan.
:D
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

Oh hai lovely Azzy Wazzy Woo.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

I think you might have missed the rules of this game, Irish ;)

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

see below ;)

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

what's the got to do with it?

(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

well, if we are being like that,.
shut up and fuck off.
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Quick QUICK!! TELL BADGER!

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

oh, cock.
usurped.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

EVERYONE STAY AND HAVE A CUDDLE

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

Shut up and fuck off,
only Spacefish can defeat me.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

:(
i wanted things to be nice.
i have cancer you know.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

yeah but you probably deserve it.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

Yeah, good stuff.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

You might as well stay here
you've pretty much nailed down the ethos and also reached the intellectual zenith of this place ;)
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

you're a very negative person

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

bingo bango
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

wait til we send you Wormulus, then you'll be mad

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

He has been absent, which is good.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

not very noteworthy though

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

Indeed.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

wormulus
has been over there quite a lot

he is mildly interesting in comparison
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

Do everything you can to keep him.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

I will if you take back piston_broke

(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

I can't promise that.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

I think the place is worse without him

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

this could be the closest he has ever come to sex
www.b3ta.com/questions/unexpectednudity/post437953

note comedy fiance reference..
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

Argh his dullness make my brain cry:(

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Oh for fucks sake...
Please do not tell me he lives in the same town as me.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

more to the point
dont tell him.
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

This.
Next time Az, I'm bringing rope.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

*GLEE*

(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

he even admits that it took him a week to make up a story
ridiculous
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

You poor bugger :)
Aaaaaand no, you can have him ;)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Speaking of cunt landlords:
www.fmylife.com/money/2398327
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

It's life Jim, but not as we know it.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

Haha
Shame.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

you think that's bad,
i found out i have cancer today.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

Bah.
Our previous landlord wants to keep £200 of our £695 deposit from the old place for cleaning and redecorating. Rather unfair, considering it was cleaner than when we moved in on the last day. Oh well.

I would like to hear your landlord from hell stories to cheer me up.
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

i own my house, sorry

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

He can charge you for cleaning but not for redecorating,
unless he can prove that he needs to do it because you made holes in all the wallpaper.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

Admittedly
there was a scratch in one of the walls from installing a bed, and there was a coffee stain on one of the office walls that wasn't there when we moved in. I can't be bothered to complain, we're getting most of it back.
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

He can charge for what the fuck he likes
unless you've got a detailed enough inventory to prove that you haven't scratched the woodwork or similar.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

I always make a point of trying to remember to take photos as soon as I move in and then forgetting to take photos.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

This.
My mother used to work in a rental place, she used to make the students do an inventory before they moved in.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

I think I stained our bath by leaving the cillit BANG on too long.
DAMN YOU BARRY SCOTT.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

Apparently it does that a lot.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

well, if you use in on plastic baths, yeah
that's why it has "NOT SUITABLE FOR CLEANING PLASTIC BATHS" written on it. Like 99% of cleaners, to be fair
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

I dunno, I never used it.
Some people were moaning about it on the radio, I wasn't really listening.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

I sprayed a load on, thought i would leave it to do its thing for a while,
and then decided to read the instructions about half an hour later where it tells you not to leave it on for longer than 5 minutes. Ho hum.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

Haha, oh well.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

BANG
and the bath has gone.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

We have that in our house.
I though that was standard.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

Why do you assume it's a he?
You sexist cunt
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

landLORD
not landLADY
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

Because otherwise it would be a landlady?

(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

not being a landlady
probably gives it away, there.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

you're all sexist cunts
I'LL TAKE MY EQUALITY CHAMPIONING SOMEWHERE ELSE
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

Yeah, happens everytime,
landlords are cunts.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

Not by a long stretch
Some are, granted, but mostly it's just that people damage and dirty places they live in.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

I don't have any.
All my landlords have been pretty good.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

What a cunt.
It's natural wear and tear, surely. Landlords are cunts.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

well, without us seeing it
it's hard to say whether it's fair or not. Some landlords are shitty, but most are OK. It's far more likely on balance that the place really does need professional cleaning, to be honest, and that's not natural wear and tear.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

Well, yeah.
I was thinking of my own flat, to be honest. The carpet is ming, but it's beige, and was ming before we moved in. I could see her getting arsey about it, though.

If I was allowed have pets, I wouldn't mind paying for a professional clean after I moved out. I'd pay the extra deposit, too. But most won't even hear of it.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

bingo
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

Did you not have an inventory done when you moved in?
Ours was practically a novel it was so detailed.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

We did, but it wasn't that detailed.
And besides, he's been fair and taken £100 off what he was going to take off us for wear and tear, and we did damage the place just a fraction.
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

Mine was a little fat biker than looked like a very pierced Gimli.
When he was drunk (ever night) he would sit with his nose a few inches from the telly watching MTV whatever-it-is-that-has-a-lot-of-50cent at top volume whilst breathing heavily.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

My landlords are blithering idiots.
I could probably get away with not paying rent.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

go on, then
CCJs are a barrel of laughs
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

Our last landlord looked like Quark from off of Star Trek.
Our front door broke within a few months of us moving in and despite repeatedly telling him, he did fuck all about it. It wouldn't lock unless you used the key. He kept trying to bump up the rent and we were all 'Nah, fix the front door, then we'll talk'.

He used to come round monthly to collect the rent until we told him he was infringing on our privacy. One time he brought his mum round to inspect the house without telling us and she told us to sort the garden out.

We got cats and they ruined the wallpaper. When we moved out I (accidentally) left a litter tray full of shit.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

Hahaha, good.
If you want to fuck up a house, get a rabbit.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

I wish we could afford to buy our own place.
I love my flat but it does feel like we're spunking all this money away every month when we could be putting it towards actually owning a place.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

I've been up since 5, listening to Alice Cooper and chain drinking strong black sugarless tea
Who's having a better day than me?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

Not me.
Actually, yes me, due to that god awful tea nonsense.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

I don't have any coffee or time to get some,
otherwise I'd be drinking strong black sugarless coffee.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

Still, though.
Black tea? No sugar? EW.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

It's nicer than I thought it'd be.
it is proper good tea though.

/caffine boost wanted, effects of sugar not desired.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

man up now
tea doesn't give a caffeine boost, despite what you might hear on "omg tea has more caffeine in it than sugar!" quotes.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

Hence the chain drinking.
Plus there's the placebo effect.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

I know it doesn't have more than coffee
but it still has enough caffeine in it to wake you up.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

does it?
makes me feel sleepy, being warm and milky.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

That would be the milk making you sleepy, would it not?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

perhaps
I only have a tiddly bit though. I like strong tea.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

Notice that there's no milk in mine.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

Mine is hot and black
I don't like to spoil perfectly good tea with cow juice.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

lololol you like your tea like you like your cock lololol

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

I know if I don't have a cup of Yorkshire tea
then I'm pretty fucked. I do only put a little bit of milk in, maybe I should start ramping it up
(

magnum, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

it depends what sort of tea it is

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

ASSam
lol
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

Not me.
You just can't beat the Coop and strong tea.
(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

how would i know?

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

i found out i have pancreatic cancer.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

that's a good cancer to have
quite impressive
(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

You're fucked, so.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

you'll need some new pans, then
I recommend 18/10 stainless.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

If Patrick Swayze can beat it, so can you.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

Except he's dying.
Pancreatic cancer has a really shit survival rate.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

"Pancreatic" is an anagram of "A Cancer Tip"

(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

Well done, Friz.
Tomorrow: numbers.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

One of the most painful too, isn't it?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

Yer, so I hear.
Animals are usually put down straight away with it, haven't seen any in end stage.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

I've heard bollock cancer doesn't make you think all your birthdays have come at once.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

i've heard the constant feeling of drowning and the acute pain of lung cancer is thrilling, same it doesn't last long

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

oh, no, chin up forum user, terrible news, i'm not even going to try and lift your spirits on this sad day with forum banter, no offence
sadtimes
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

Not me. I've been at work for half an hour and am ready to pull my hair out.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

Quite good.
Thirty minutes exercise done, flat cleaned and tidy, having a nice coffee now.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

I am.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

I didn't mention that I've been doing condensed matter physics for the duration,
did I?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

no I'm at work
I do have better tea though, with milk and 2 sugars.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

Two is far too many.
Milk and one is what I usually have, today is different
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

I'm packing.
It's GREAT.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

Where are you going?
Can I come?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

I'm going to Magaluf to soak up some culture.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

~~culture~~ spunk
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

Classy.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

I haven't been on holiday solely to destroy myself in about 4 years now.
I'm overdue...coming through...gimme some room.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

I haven't been on one in about six years.
TAKE ME WITH YOU.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

Get a cheap flight with ryanair.
They'd probably do you a discount since you're a potatowog.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

Lolol
I wish, fucking cunts. I hate Ryanair.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

lolol the only thing I'll be soaking up is the wet shit from my bedsheets.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

fudge? heat? forum banter

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

clothes silly.
none taken.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

I'm fucking bored.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:31, archived)

Hazel Blears

(

magnum, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

/not up to date with news.
Did she resign then?

She's still going to lose her seat.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

She finished before lunchtime
that's the sign of an awesome day
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

We'll probably end up hiring her at work
based on the last few hirees ability.
(

magnum, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

Meh
probably. I'm me and you're you. I think that qualifies as a WIN.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

Email Recycling
I've set up mail box for recycling emails. Just post all your emails to [email protected] and I'll extract all the pixels out of them and put them back in the interweb reservoir. Only emails with bank account details or other personal information can be recycled, as junk emails aren't on the right kind of ether substrate.
(Smokey the Weasel, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

yeah, sure

(

well, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

Awwww come on...
It's worth a try
(Smokey the Weasel, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

No, it's really not.
Fuck off.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

Really?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

Look,
EVEN Pickle Fairy didn't fall for it,
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

Oh fuck off, you unfunny twat.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

let's be fair, here
99% of people post a fuck site worse stuff than that.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

haha hilarious.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

What?

(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

Man, how do you come up with these zany ideas?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

yes hilarious thank you

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

Hello you fatty fatty moan moans.
I've been for a haircut. This will no doubt now lead to jokes that are in no way ever repeated. As I only I, JMG repeats stuff on here. Repeats.
Now before we all fall out with me at high speed because a girl you fancy on the internet once spoke to me on here. Let's for one moment remember what's really important here.
Me.

Now, as b3ta's leader. I can't help but keep an eye on current internet events like some kind of big brother watching over you.
Hopefully as the day goes by, I'll have used bullying and corrective thought to better you people in some way.
I don't have a shit podcast to promote.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

I'm going to get some Weetabix, then have a shower
PARTY TIME.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

bet you can't eat weetabix in the shower

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

i need a bit of a trim jammers,
my lustrous mane is making too many women swoon and it's become dangerous
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

You should keep away from the side of the roads for two reasons!
1) Women could faint at the wheel of on-coming vehicles.
2) Women drivers.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

sage advice
i'll have to be ferried about everywhere in a fancy car with tinted windows from now on
for the good of the nation!
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

Another day of excellent advice.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

*firm handshake*

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

What do you believe to be the recent big b3ta event?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

Dinner.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

i think i'll cut the grass today
OUTSIDE
(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

Hello

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

I need a haircut.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

*Double tens up top. Followed by appropriate nodding and the opening of a scrapbook depicting recent victories in the former Eastrern Block.*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

*impromptu barbecue, topless entry rules, clicky fingers and appropriate refreshing drinks on the patio 10s*

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

Pimm's and Lemonade?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

warm newcy brown.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

actually probably Gin and Tonic.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

mmmmm

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

add a double vodka to that and you've go a tasty drink

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

JMG is really just Mykey's comedy account
It's true, I heard it on the radio.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

OH BOUNCY FLOUNCY INTERNET!
Why must thy be linked one's majesty?!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

I am contemplating shaving my nuts etc
the relief from crotch sweating may even outweigh the stubble itch in a few days
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

Noooo, it's supposed to be a VERY bad idea.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

Ladies like the crotch sweat
They like a well-lubricated set of testes
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

*takes note*

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

Because when they're engaging in the act of lovemaking
But only when they're really enjoying it, you can enjoy the Forbidden Pleasure, of getting a spoon and tucking your balls up their bottom. They'll go crazy for it.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

This is commonly known as 'dogs in a bathtub.'

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

I've learned something today

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

I've learned a little bit more

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:14, archived)

encyclopediadramatica.com/Tony_Eveready NSFW NSFW NSFW
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

jesus christ

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

Then you got a DP.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

That sounds
really quite painful
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

Oh, there's few things more offputting than a shorn scrotum.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

The problem i face is that I'm a bit of a dark skinned hairy type (not back or shoulders thankfully)
If i was to shave my crotch then it would accentuate the other areas, I would probably have to go for the whole body shave. This would not be a good look
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

Pleeeease don't.
I know I love hairy chaps, but still, it's not just me and I was right with what I said before.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)

Noit has also had a haircut this morning,
He better still have his sideburns.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

Do you need something to hold onto when you're being the man?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

What do you mean, 'when'?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

Good point.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

We're on the same clock.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

Do you have sideburns, Jammy?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

Not really.
Utterly bald, etc.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

does ym?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

i'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
but i feel this will be impossible because of the deaf people and their nasal voices and moans
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

I want to get my hair cut off because it's doing my head in
but also it makes me look girlie and feminine. I haven't had long hair since I was 10 and it's really weird.

WHAT SHOULD I DO, JAMMERS?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

YOU'RE A BIRD. HAVE IT LONG.
There's too many short haired Dan French's running around spoiling my day.
Let your hair grow and be a woman!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:12, archived)

Just get it trimmed, it's lovely long:)
You have lovely healthy shiny hair.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

I might get loads of massively choppy layers cut into it.
I had layers in April and they looked a bit crap and undramatic.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

Whatever you do, it's bound to be cute.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

Shave a swastika into the back and lick your lips whenever anyone looks at you

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)

JMG is bald, he has no hair to cut...

(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

good stuff

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

I am keeping the beard.
Through the heat. I am going to man it through babe.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
Excellent SSGing!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)

ololowhich hair?
/ dad
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)

HALLO jmg.
I've pulled a sickie as i have a headache. I'm not really that poorly. I'm entertaining myself looking at houses i can't afford online.
I like houses.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

b3ta time is wrong
it's late here very late i need to sleep
(riedacher_bertram, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

I no rite
www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/2531202
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

QOTW lol

(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

That's how QOTW should be.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

my ex-girlfriend's grandfather once slapped me on the bum, thinking i was her
at least, that's his cover story

old people, eh?
(

spacefish bong!, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

Noit's dad slapped me on the bum before:(
Grim.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

Sleep is for the weak.

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

i am weak

(riedacher_bertram, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

That's ok then.
Carry on.
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

^this.
I worked all day yesterday, drove to Surrey, worked all night, drove home to do today's lovely work.
I may sleep tonight.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

It's well quiet in here today.

(

*bangs pots and pans*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

cooking again?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

FAT

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

Good for you

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

I have a handy hint about sleep

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

wow, let's hear it!
i bet this is going to be profound!
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

He should shut his eyes and wait for the sleeping
I know, I should be a guru.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

i LITERALLY fell off my chair just then
with the sheer shock of how simple it all is
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

You'd be surprised how difficult it is to grasp though
Some people think you do the opposite, that you post online about it with your eyes open. I can't stress enough how wrong that is.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

you'd be forgiven for thinking that some people post online with their eyes closed, though

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

does involve your ballbag?

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

For once, it doesn't
That's my Handy Hint about waking up you're thinking of.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

if only you were physically capable of turning off the computer and going to bed
DAMN YOU WORLD
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

Where's that odious tosser Wormboy gone?
Is he stinking up some other forums or has a pyramidal 10 ton weight fallen on him?
(

lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

oh fuck off

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

How drunk were you by the time I met you on Saturday?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Pretty darn drunk,
I'm usually less of a cock.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

Did you misbehave?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

No comment

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

I was just trying to work out if he was being nice because of alcohol or not.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

No I am usually very nice,
I was a bit more huggy than I would be normally though.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

YOU AND ME, CAPTAIN
we're like this *puts fingers together and tries to focus on them*
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

ha ha
oh god
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

'we're facebook friends, Mrs HB, we're so clooooooooose'
etc etc etc.

You're an entertaining pisshead, I'll give you that.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

I would have been much better
if I had three drinks less.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

That's alright, you were friendly. Good enough for me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

You were alright i suppose

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

I'm a bit boring.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

you should have worn a hat,
that makes you interesting apparently.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

I've got loads of hats
but it was far too warm for headwear.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

It's that just little too long delay in answering questions that gave it away
That and the slight swaying. That might have been me though.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

You are a lovely lady and I thoroughly enjoyed talking to you.
Ahem.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

Thank you, it was fun talking to you too.
Hope to see you up here later this year.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

I wasn't the worst,
So I can show my face again.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

How close to being the worst were you?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

The worst passed out about 2 or 3pm,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

I think that's when he was ordered to go to bed.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

What time did it start?!

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

dunno 12ish
I didn't get there until just before 7.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

I arrived at just past 12
he was already shitfaced.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

Well the worst had been drinking gin since 9.30 am.

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

I was well behaved for once. I surprised myself!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

Fuck off.

(__, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Bou?

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

no
apparently cr3 has managed to block all of Seth Efrica from accessing b3ta.
(

turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

my guess is that it's tfs

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

it doesnt look like it might be his comedy account

(

turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

i know for a fact he has another account, he wont use the tfs one because of the epic flounce he did with it

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

i'm not denying that he might have another account
I'm just saying that that one doesn't look like it is him.
Actually, I think its more likely to be Wormulus himself.
(

turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

For a fact?

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

yes

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

I love you.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

He is currently ironing his collection of neck scarves

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

HELLO WORMULUS

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

Hi Wormboy

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

fuck you, I've got eyes and gills and everything

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

Not you spastic.
I put my reply in the wrong place. Is also a spastic today
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

This is such a spasticated sub thread

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

Only because you're in it

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

Your face is spasticated,
how are you feeling today after your beer fest?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

Not as spasticated as your mum's.
I feel fine, I don't get hangovers
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

lucky bitch,
How old are you? I didn't know what a hangover was until about 23.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

Older than you.

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

I'm suprised,
You don't look it, but then again I look like I'm in my 30's according to DG.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

The more you cuss him the stronger his errection gets...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

bingo
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

No I'm sorry ,
it was only a small pyramidal 10 ton weight.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

Fuck all this girly shite
What's the biggest animal you could successfully kill with home made weaponry. You have to eat the motherfucker too.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Homemade? Do I have access to... thermite?

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

No
Sticks and string and such
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I can make thermite at home
just give me a couple of nails, a can of coke and a lemon
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

how2dostuff.blogspot.com/2006/01/how-to-make-thermite.html
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

That's scary

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

Completely misread that as 'how to make thalidomide'

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

"A victim of small arms fire"

(

FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Hahaha.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Thermite would be rubbish for killing animals
unless you could get them to stand still for a while. It may be hot, but it's ponderous.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

You've never considered a thermite cannon?

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Due to it being a ficticious weapon in a computer game
I suspect not.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

It is?
edit: ohh yeahh. cityofheroes.wikia.com/wiki/Thermite_Cannon
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

The thermite reaction doesn't produce any gas
Iron Oxide + Aluminium - Iron + Aluminium oxide and some heat. You'd melt the cannonball. And the cannon.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

Thermite is hot enough to melt steels and iron, perhaps, but it isn't hot enough to melt the teeth of a small african child.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Boiling iron wouldn't be far off, so you could do it with a little tinkering...

(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

thermic lance
and you can burn the lines off their car parks.

That'll show them!
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

Are you allowed to staple them to the floor first?
Flying squirrels would be quite easy to staple.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

You either love it or hate it

(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Clicking this

(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

Get me to a homebase
and I could take down an elephant,
I'm a modern day McGuyver.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Here's a rubber band and the innards of a broken calculator.
Get yourself to Homebase.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Homebase is shit
in their HQ, they had a competition inviting staff to give a name to the new canteen, which had been moved to the -1 floor of one of their HQ buildings (Carew House).
The winning name was "Base-ment". How shit is that.
(

turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

I;d shove my broom handle up a lions bum and guide it towards a fire.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Pfft
Yes, dear
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Cows. Definitely. It'd just stand and stare at me until the knife went in
Then we'd have burgers. And steak.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

a beached whale

(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

That's scavanging
Not hunting.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

you never made the distinction

(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

Sorry about that

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

nevermind old chap...
*tucks into beached whale casserole*
(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Probably a t rex
I'd push my welsh dresser, tied to all my white goods, off a cliff onto his head, then have myself a barbeque.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

I have a knife at home, so I'd say anything up to the size of a large dog

(

SuperMatt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I did quite a bit of erm..
nitrogen chemistry many years ago. There's probably not much I couldn't kill given the motivation.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Could you drive mammoths of cliffs into a pool of liquid gas?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

I'm pretty sure I'm younger than you...

(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

You reckon?
41
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Yes!
Haha!
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Cunt
:(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

there's not much in it..
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

That's what your bird says
Lol or something
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

lets face it
you could kill anything aquatic with a home-made pump and enough patience, and that covers the biggest stuff.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

You'd have to catch it first.
My methods wouldn't require such exertion.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

no you wouldn't.
this is where the patience comes in. Just pump the seas dry one by one. Statisically you'd have to get one eventually ;)
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

Statistically, if you're patient enough
you could just stand in a forest with your hand outstretched and wait for a dead bird to fall into it. You might get hungry waiting though.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

ah, no-one specified we needed the food for survival
I thought it was just for shits and giggles. I'll have to reassess my methods....
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

A guy came into work yesterday
Proclaiming that the difference between horse meat and beef is that the fat on horse meat is quite a vibrant orange.

Interested, I asked "So do you prefer horse?"

To which he replied "Neigh".

Trufax
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I fancy that fry up you can get in Bolton thats enough to kill an elephant

/unrelated
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

I have only had good food experiences on my few trips to Bolton
I took my own.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

I reckon I could knock up a winch
that could beach a blue whale.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

don't bother with the which
just pour a partciculary viscous mayonnaise into its blowhole. Job done.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

[suggestion of tiny mammal]
[referral to own height]
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

[Reply because you are a girl]
[insert lol here]
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

[Reply because you are a fat mess]
[insert sausage roll here]
(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

[reply here]
[mander]
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

[reply here]
[shove it up your clunge]
(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

[reply here]
[RIGHT down your cock]
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

COR!

(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Also
A plastic bag around the tiny head of a giraffe should do.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Who needs weaponry?
I can easily beat a bear to death with my penis.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

You've mentioned this a few times.
I'd like to see this.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

I bet you would.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Purely for sport
you understand.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

It's not sport
the bear doesn't even have a chance. It's slaughter.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

Ha ha ha.
Hello. What do you know?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

what do I know about what?

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

It's just a 'hi, how are you' sort of what do you know.
Not a 'do you know omgossip about [boy b3tan] and [girl b3tan]'
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

oh, I see.
I'm fine cheers, you?

OMG like JMG totally touched Esme in the Dole !!1111!!1 (am I doing this right?)
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Better thanks.
My heads been in the shed the past couple of days, but I'm alright now ta.

OMG like moohalaa totally bummed erasty up the bot bot!111!!oneeleven (I think so, gossip isn't my forte really).
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

LIAR

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

i was rolling a fag and my mates kitten was pestering me, i flicked my fingers at it and hit it's neck and it died
i didn't eat it tho, he seemed a bit upset, meh
(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

lol... was the fag on fire...
like.. yeah....
(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

get it?
cos like... it was a fag... as in homosexual... and a cigarette... and you were rolling it... like it was on fire... and like... you know... that GI Joe video thing... yeah..

so... uh-huh...
(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Nice slaying skills

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

Replying to Chuck Norris right here

(

magnum, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

if you need kittens slaying i'm your man

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

A COW.
That is all.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

To kill and eat you say?
Probably a piglet using a sharpened spoon, then I would roast it and eat.
(

M o D, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

I could totally twat a terrapin with my trousers

(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Would you want to eat it though?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Fuck yes
two terrapins in tortilla with tuna & tomato. Tasty!
(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

I'm sure i could take out a bear's eye with a flick from a wet towel..

(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

depends on what you mean by "home made"
I could build one of those swinging log crushers that the ewoks used and take out an argintinosaurus
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

I bought the new limited edition Night In For Toes
(which has Lemony Flutter, Volcano, Running To The Embassy, and a couple of mini bath bombs), a lump of Karma Soap and both sugar scrubs.

I love girly shit, I can't help it.

/Goes off to moisturise
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

If I painted myself to match the forest and stood still with a harpoon for a while I could kill a badger, I suppose.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

I hope the harpoon is home made

(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

of course
broom handle and a kitchen knife
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

A bug
*smooshes with my shoe*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

You'll never get a good meal out of twatting flies

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

You just said I had to eat it
Not that it had to be a good meal.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

I could headbutt an elk to death with 3 'boks' of my forehead

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Blue whale. Just grab some crap to bung up its blow hole.
I doubt I'd be able to eat a whole one though.

edit: and that's already been sort of mentioned.
(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

A man. An axe made of a steel rod and a piece of stone.
True story.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Arghhh
What do I buy from Lush? There's too much to choose from. Do I buy haircare or some foot spa treatments? Or blow my funds on bath bombs? Argghh.

You may return to your various businesses.
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

I don't know, per say , what they sell
but it all smells lovely.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

FACE MASKS
They have a chocolate one at the moment.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

Not Cupcake?
They've had that one for ages, it smells divine. Don't lick your lips when you have it on. It made me do a :( face.
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

a chocolate face mask?
from the Tasty Gimp range?
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

I spend about £40-70 a month at Lush, they're bloody addictive.
Plus I haven't tried everything yet.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

Jesus.
About £600 a year is a lot of soaps.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

It's not just soap.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

Soap and skin related products then.
£600 still seems a lot. The smell alone probably justifies it though.

the first Lush I ever saw was in Buchanan St in Glasgow, and I genuinely thought the bars in the window were some kind of fudge/nougat/chocolate things.

Boy, did I get a shock!
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

And hair stuff and stuff for the wife.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

Sounds like she has a lot of hair.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

He does, he's got dreads down to just past his arse
but he uses knotty boy stuff on that.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

Buy their soap that smells of earth
I like that one

Then send it to me so I have nice soap.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

Mudflats?

(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

I dunno, not been there for three years
Ah, it was Waylander Rhassoul.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

I adore that stuff.
It was so satisfying to use, it made my skin all glowy :D
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

I just liked the exfoliation and the smell
...

I really need to hand in my testicles now, I don't think I need them anymore.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

They discontinued it a while ago
but mudflats is a close second
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

meh

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

this

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

this again.

(

Jobe, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

and again

(

thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

Haircare.
Lush shampoos are the best.

Have you tried Oatifix? Vanilla Dee-Lite is amazing too as are the new scrubs.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

The new sugar scrubs? OH YES.
I prefer the smell of the white one, but the green one's proper good.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

I love the smell of the white one.
The green one gave me actual cuts and scratches, I think I was a bit overenthusiastic.

The new Dark Angels cleanser is AMAZING. And the best ever sunscreen ever is Ultralight.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

The manwife's using dark angels at the moment.
I used angels on bare skin, god I love it so much. I have to use quite high spf, so I've never used ultralight.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

Dark Angel is gorgeous.
I like the way it was originally Hell's Angels and they had to change it with all the copyright issues.
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

I thought I'd imagined that it was called something different for a bit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

I have to really try hard to stop myself using it every day cos it's so harsh.
I use Angels On Bare Skin or Coalface on non scrub days.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

Angels daily for me.
I use it on my decollete as well, but not for any reason other than 'ooh this stuff is lovely'
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

Omg omg omg are they as amazing as they look?
I want to buy both. I'd forgotten about those. I should imagine they're like the sugar lip scrub B Never do, except more practical.
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

They're WIN.
Seriously.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

The B lip scrub is bollocks.
YOU DON'T NEED TO SCRUB YOUR LIPS.

But the sugar scrubs are deeeelish.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

I do a little scrub each night on mine with my toothbrush, before I put my lip balm* on.
I probably don't need to, you're right, but I always do.

*lip service. Best thing ever.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

OMG! They've got rid of the Reincarnate shampoo.
Nuuuu. This makes me go :(( and then :( some more. What do I used for coloured hair now?
(

Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

I've got coloured hair
and i use gentle lentil (lush retro) and trichomania.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

I do that too.
Whenever I brush my teeth, I brush my lips too. I read it in Just 17 years ago.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

That'll probably be where I got it from
there or More. Ah, More, with their 'sexual position of the month'.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

hahaha!
Does it fucking matter?

People who smell of that stuff tend to smell horrible, always too much.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

I am happy to smell horrible, then.
*smells of that Vanillary perfume from Lush, it's lovely*
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

Because you stink.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

bath bombs make my skin peel off
but my skellington smells yummy afterwards

I don't like the soaps because they all look like things I want to eat and create much bathtime confusion.

I don't require footspa because my feet are lovely

as for haircare, well, it makes my hair go all 70s

Face masks are always a good bet though
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

speaking for myself here only but i couldn't care less about you or what you buy from lush you tedious bitch

(

mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

Stop trying to compete with me for being /talks top forum bully:(
Terrible upset!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

Bath bombs?
"Arrrrrrrrrrgh a bomb"

kaBOOOOOOOOM

"oh, I'm a bit wet"
(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

They are the gayest type of bombs

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohgetyou
(

broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

I've never bought stuff from Lush.
People buy it for me. Probably trying to tell me something...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

No doubt trying to tell you that you may enjoy their array of products.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

Maybe.
That or that I stink. Which I don't. I think I've been into a Lush once. TRUE FACT.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

I cant believe how much they get away with charging

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

I know.
You can smell the shop when you're down the other end of the precinct here. It's a proper headache inducing smell too.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

YES
I like [PRODUCT], it smells like [FOOD]
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

Or you could spend your money on something cheaper, but does the job just as effectively, thus leaving you spare money for a rainy day

(

SuperMatt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

You could say that about anything though.
Why buy a house? You could live in a tent in the park for much less, and you can take it with you when you go to work.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

But Lush stuff gives girls glittery tits.
which adds 10% which makes bewbies 110% awesome.

Apart from when you wake up and you've got glitter in your chest hair that just WONT. FUCK. OFF!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Never been a fan of glitter.
Except shoes. Glittery shoes = excellent.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Yeah but you can get other cosmetics to give you gittery tits.
I speak from experience. The Lush glittery stuff doesn't come off for AGES.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I used to work there and would come home covered in glitter
fucking hate glitter now.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

I had a lush disaster the other day
I went into my lush box only to find I only have bubble bars and no bombs left :(

I must go to leeds
(

Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

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