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I loves me some titties

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:25, archived)
18kwH
until my electricity meter reads "45678.9"
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:28, archived)
i know! lol

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:28, archived)
i could stage a vigil
or boil the kettle 50 times... oh the choices.

sorry... titties?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:29, archived)
yeah, titties with nipples on
big nipples too, like blocks of chocolate
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:48, archived)
that could hurt
squareness doesn't exactly set my pulse racing.

I'd suggest raspberry domes... www.aquarterof.co.uk/blackberry-raspberry-domes-p-1184.html
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
oooooooooh, nippley

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)
more squishy too
a clamp chain and a chunk of dairy milk would just be annoying.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:56, archived)
Go for 51
Tis good to stretch your ambitions
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
cant run the marathon without training
or stretch the arsehole without straining
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:56, archived)
strain?
why would you strange? just stick it in and pump it up.... and relax...
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:57, archived)
hooray, an ex-lurker!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:59, archived)
ooh
do I look all "in the gang" now? pfft.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)
you're looking like an irritating cunt with all this "I" bollocks

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)
should it be "one" instead?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)
What the fuck, that sentence is just wrong.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:20, archived)
well
Edit - my mong fingers hit return before I could do a witty reply, ah well.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)
what's wrong with Redditch then?
I mean, I know why I think it's a dump... what about you?

it's not like it's Rhyl or anything.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:03, archived)
It's full of ratboys, pissed up tramps and massive fat people*
*Not me. Ahem.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:07, archived)
Christ, not another Redditcher :(

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)
Nah, just work there, thankfully.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:24, archived)
I wouldn't mind working there
15 minute drive rather than 2 hours on the train each day
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:31, archived)
well if you follow the cricket
Say hello, I'll be the fat middle aged pissed up bloke shouting. Or perhaps not.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:43, archived)
I was at Edgbaston last night
Two middle aged rich twats behind me apparently cycled in and cycled home after slagging off Warks the whole time. They managed to leave behind 18 lager cans, rather than the 1/2 a bottle of Cab Sauv I'd have expected. Wonder if either of them made it home.

fsck it was cold.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:46, archived)
you know
that' *REALLY* doesn't it narrow it down. If you were one of the ones in the rainbow body suits then I could work with that.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:47, archived)
I didnt go last night
20/20- is fine but not for me. 40 overs is better but cannot beat the full game.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)
Ahh you sound like me
trotting out the party line, whether you believe it or not.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:01, archived)
We should do a Redditch B3ta thang
All meet up at the cricket and you all can take care of me, like 'are you OK?', 'is it too hot/cold?', 'need any help with that?'

It would be great*

*shit
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:57, archived)
I'm just worried
what the "that" you're referring to is.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:04, archived)
holding a pint to my aged mouth is all

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)
I'm a Redditcher
where do you work?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:42, archived)
Edwards st.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:44, archived)
I have no idea where that is
but yay Redditch
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:45, archived)
it's off Bromsgrove Road, durrrr
I always get Redditch and Bromsgrove mixed up.

i's and t's are skinny letters, m is a big letter therefore the two places should swap names.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:49, archived)
Midlands takeover yo
I quite fancy moving to Droitwich
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)
you can get some cream for that
clear those thoughts up nicely.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:04, archived)
Protip - I live in kidderminster

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)
Hurrah for the Safari park
Hippos FTW.

Oh, and the carpet shops.

(That's me proving I know a little about that place...)

How much do you know about Hollywood and Wythall?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)
Fuck all

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)
Tis where Nick Rhodes
Of Duran Duran grew up. He opened the Spar around the corner I think.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)
Groovy

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)
Met him - a real tit, seriously.
fuck it - ignore this, just being mean
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)
Oooof
Prince Philip is a touchy cunt
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:31, archived)
is? has?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:32, archived)
Both
That may be the problem
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)
I approve of this
mongy put a massive fucking downer on the place with his fucking blog
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:00, archived)
Just look down, you have quite the pair.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:18, archived)
what species?
I prefer human.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:51, archived)
ooooh
I remember when I were a lad, massaging a Ewe with mastistis for hours. Lovely.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)
my nan will be dead within days, your all gay

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)
was she a goer?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:16, archived)
she is not dead yet

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:17, archived)
sorry
is she a goer?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:21, archived)
No she's dying.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)
yeah, but before she started dying
was she a goer?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)
She be a goner soon man.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)
I was building up to that pun
now you've waded in like a clumsy oaf and ruined the impeccable timing of it all
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
Oh Grrry I don't know why you bother.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:17, archived)

If you're serious and are upset: Oh dude, sorry mate, good innings though?
If you're serious and you're not upset: How much for her last warn pair of knickers?
If you're not serious and are upset: Wait, I donno how this one would work.
If you're not serious and you're not upset: She can still be a go'er, it's when she's dead that she's gone.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:24, archived)
i dunno gonz, i just dont know, sadtimes, this is the end of an human line

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)
could she
do grammar and shit like that?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)
she did grandad
she wasn't a lesbian, otherwise mongy's family tree would look a bit confusing
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)
oh get in!
I wonder if she was her own grandma.

i feel muppets and youtube calling....
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)
It's hard an all that, don't need me to tell you, but eventually you'll get up to remembering the goodtimes without it hurting.
One thing I always really wished though when [person] died was that I got some sort of letter telling me "Cheers Pops, loves ya' Pops, money is in the violen case in the attic, Didn't mean X, hope you'll be alright, see you on the other side".

Never mind, I'll find out about that when I cark it, or if I don't, I won't be around to care.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)
That's sad news,
sorry to hear that.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:17, archived)
could you offer a prayer for her?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)
I could,
although I'd have to think about what I'd say in it, because I'm not a believer in praying for people to "get better". Hmm...
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:21, archived)
she can't get better, jobs done

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)
my grandfather in law (if such a thing can exist)
died a month or so ago.

First time I was actually a bit angry at someone for being too fucking "proud" to do the right thing and accept help etc.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)
praying is ace!
It stops you actually having to do something or give money.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)
No it doesn't.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)
Well I beg to differ
costs fuck all and only takes a few seconds. How easy is that??
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
It might be easy,
but it doesn't stop you doing anything else.
But in fact it's not even all that easy if you do it properly. I'm having a good old head scratch trying to think how to do this one.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
you forgot free
kerching!

sorry, pint of wine on the go.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)
erm kerching happens when things AREN'T free.
oh well.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
apparently the best things in life are free
And so I give you wooden chip forks.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)
Depends n your religion and that.
Muslims have to pray umpteen times a day and some extreme branches of Jebus worshipping are required to flagellate. Oo-err missus etc..
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:20, archived)
perhaps you'd be better spending her last few days with her
instead of with the internet, telling the internet?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)
is this an opinion you are offering here? or advice? can i have some comfort from the fact that you have researched this

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)
well when my grandparents died (not all at the same time in an event orchestrated by me)
i wasn't sitting on the net telling people about how they were going very soon, that's all. i had more important things to do related to them dying and not me filling my weeks beaker quota
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)
I wasn't telling everyone
but I didn't see my nan for the last 10 years of her life. 8 of them she couldn't remember who anyone in her family was, so not sure what to make of that... "being there" only goes so far when it's utterly utterly pointless on the practical side of things.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
in times of personal tragedy
what could be more important that finding solace and comfort among friends?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)
friends.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
this is no time for sitcoms

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
there's a good pun / innuendo there
but i've no idea what it is.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)
mortal wombat is a nonce, i have no idea how it justifies that

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)
lol. why don't you phone a friend
oh, they're all HERE!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)
cor yo have got me there, i dont know anybody apart from people on a forum, you understand me so well, how is the noncing going for you?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:43, archived)
Despite stepping back from openly noncing on a public forum
Mortal Wombat does like to keep his hand in from time to time
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)
great thanks. since i got my van i've not looked back
it's got rear view mirrors
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:46, archived)
so what sweets do you use?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:49, archived)
WERTHERS MAN

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)
Pretty much the first thing I did was post on here when someone close to me died, like, within an hour.
Eaiser than facing a house full of people, most of them in a horrific state.

I also took a rediculous amount of morphine, like, a fist full.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:46, archived)
i was on tramadol when i broke my arm
they were nice. morphine was better in hossy, i lost days on that. and also when they left the canister of laughing gas next to my bed.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:10, archived)
twice
i forgot / wasn't brave enough to try that when my kids were born.

fool.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:30, archived)
it's good but you have to inhale deeply and keep going through the weird bit

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)
pffft

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)
Sorry to hear that
ask her to say hello to Friz Jr.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)
there's no need for that sort of foul language

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)
Poor nannychops

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:04, archived)
*sadface for nannychops*

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 21:21, archived)

potential band name ahoy
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:13, archived)
Sorry to hear that.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 22:23, archived)
Prince Edward, talking about Prince Philip, said:
"My father plain and simply is very modest about himself and doesn't believe in talking about himself. One of his best pieces of advice he gives to everybody is talk about everything else, don't talk about yourself - nobody's interested in you."

What excellent advice would you give the board?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:31, archived)
Be excellent to each other.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:32, archived)
i like this

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:34, archived)
phwoar, you look well fit today
is that top new?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:38, archived)
yeh the other one was getting a bit yellow round the armpits
what are you wearing
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:44, archived)
whatever you want

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:45, archived)
jeez grrrich, i sure wish you were my girl

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:52, archived)
buy me dinner and I could be.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:54, archived)
large big mac meal coming the fuck right up

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)
I bet he's a filet o' fish kind of date.
Dirty bitch.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:13, archived)
i know only ONE cunt EVER who eats filet o' fish
mutant.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:18, archived)
Does mutant pronounce it "fillaaaay"?
Because there isn't a baghdad jail filthy enough for that sort of cunt.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:20, archived)
i call a buffet a 'buff-ee'

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:23, archived)
sc-own

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:23, archived)
Oh you dreadful dreadful shit.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)
is that like clown or clone?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)
They're alright if you squidge some sweet'n'sour in them.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:00, archived)
Fucking hell, I got it in the ear from MW last night
I'm not putting up with this shit two nights on the trot
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
Don't worry about stuff you can't change

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:36, archived)
pants

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:07, archived)
I'd like to think he said 'Nobody's interested in you, Prince Edward'.
My advice is 'if you're working hard, you're working too hard'.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:36, archived)
that's really fucking stupid advice
you lazy prick
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:38, archived)
There is no virtue in work
We'd all do fuck all if we got paid for it.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:40, archived)
Fucking hell. Tebbit is right.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:14, archived)
:( this is the end

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:15, archived)
Balls. Basic capiltalist principal innit.
Do as little as possible for as much profit as possible.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:19, archived)
Now you're just putting random words in an order that vaguely resembles English.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:21, archived)
My bottom hurts

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:28, archived)
You shouldn't spend all day sitting on it then
you terrible skiver. Bring back Maggie.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:29, archived)
I'm on the sick again
Proper poorly I was. Doctor told me to take a few days to take it easy. I bet he votes tory too.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:35, archived)
You put the "broken britain" into Broken Britain.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)
They wouldn't have you in Iceland with that attitude

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)
Well I agreed with you up to the capitalism bit.
I wouldn't exactly describe capitalist principles as virtues, either.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:18, archived)
No it's not, you massive try hard.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:40, archived)
these two posts are truly frightening

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:43, archived)
Ooogah boogahboogahboogah

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:43, archived)
look at you with your Protestant Work Ethic.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:17, archived)
you can shove the Protestant but up your arse
I just have a work ethic.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:21, archived)
Well it's no less silly for not just being Luther's idea,
that would be Ad Hominem.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)
but this has nothing to do with my salvation, signs of my predestination
or any concept I have of an obligation to society. Just because I think hard work is important, and protestants also feel the same way, doesn't make my work ethic a protestant one.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:26, archived)
Now wait, this is getting even sillier,
you think hard work is important even though it's not an obligation to society? Then what the fuck IS it for then?

I would put it to you that work isn't important for its own sake, but only for the sake of something of value. It isn't important to dig holes all day and then fill them in again just because you've got some time to spare and nothing else to do.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)
hah, that's riled you
the idea that work can be valued in and of itself, without any external quantifier.

The man who builds a matchstick model of the Statue of Liberty, should he be praised? His years of hard work achieved nothing.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
Presumably he did it for fun.
I've got nothing against people doing things for fun. (In general.)
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
Get out.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:39, archived)
Saw your post earlier about the girl from down my way. Just been on Facebook and saw you added a name that seems vaguely familiar.
She only lives a mile from me. That's some freaky shit man.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:41, archived)
It's fate, is what it is.
There was also a girl that lives near Donkey Gums. He probably knows here, but I can't remember what her name was.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:43, archived)
i for one would like to know why youre stalking mates of b3tans this is the question id like to know the answer to

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:45, archived)
I'm stalking nobody, this is just happening.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:45, archived)
im warning my mates, this is fucking ridiculous

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:47, archived)
I hate when people confuse stalking with fate. Especially as it's so clear in this instance.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:48, archived)
with no evidence to the contrary, THIS is what i choose to believe

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:53, archived)
I now have Little Big Planet. I can finally play you at something online.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:08, archived)
wot 1 or 2 cause ive only got 1
i bet you downloaded it as one of your free ones you massive pov
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:10, archived)
1. Fooking right I did.
It's quite cool, my person thing has a massive 'tache.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:11, archived)
im so columbo
i had three of the fucking games i had to get the car one and the thing with zombies in i think. gash
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)
Played Wipeout HD earlier. My reactions are fucking poor.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)
If in doubt, breakdance.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:42, archived)

dance something
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:43, archived)

breakdance knock one out
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:45, archived)
chill the fuck out

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:43, archived)
PLEASE DON'T DO THAT

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:45, archived)
But it makes my peepee feel funny.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:14, archived)
then you've pitched it wrong

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:16, archived)
he should loosen the guy ropes

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:20, archived)
There's no point paying any attention to royals unless you're planning to eliminate them.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:50, archived)
The United Kingdom, a monarchy, and sixth biggest economy in the world.
Ireland, Republic of, economy rated one level above junk status.

This is what happens when you give power to the people.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:53, archived)
Firstly, I'd point to the USA, a far bigger economy that the UK,
and secondly, I'd ask what the fuck makes you think we're above junk status? We're completely out of the market. That's below junk.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:56, archived)
pretend you're asleep if you're ever in trouble

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)
i still yearn for you

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:45, archived)
Don't take it so seriously and bleat on about how seriously people are taking it.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:01, archived)

if you are going to organise the assasination of your daughter-in-law, don't be a cad about it, make sure she has a nice night out first
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:11, archived)
Black coffee, no sugar
Thanks flower.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:25, archived)
Thlower.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:28, archived)
Piss in a tuba;
win a peanut
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:44, archived)
thank FUCK...a sensible suggestion at last

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
Hello.
I'm off to America. I'm off to the Elvis Haircut Museum. I'm also going to New Orleans. I'm visiting a girl. I should take her a present. What should I get her that says 'Britain'?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:52, archived)
I'd show her this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQQN6eo7GI4
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:55, archived)
coins and a little flag
or your cock
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:00, archived)
Teapot and a set of cups and saucers

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:01, archived)
Also some nice tea and biscuits

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:02, archived)
and don't forget to make her pay a massive import tax on it

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:12, archived)
she'll just toss it into the harbour

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:14, archived)
violent colonialism

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:03, archived)
a book on etiquette
such as this
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:03, archived)
Copy of the Oxford English Dictionary and a note saying 'LEARN TO SPELL, PRICK'

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:04, archived)
Don't they use the spellings we used to.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 19:03, archived)
A vomit stained stag-do shirt that has a hilarious nickname like ''shagger'' on the back.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:04, archived)
A battered Cutter's Choice tin that she can keep her money in.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:04, archived)
Where would this have originated?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:10, archived)
some impoverished minor country inhabited by grubby violent locals
so, Scotland
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:11, archived)
a piece of Basildon Bond with 'Britain' written on it

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:05, archived)
a burburry hoody and a bottle of White Lightning

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:05, archived)
The Duchess Of Cambridge's monthly used tampons

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:06, archived)
in a battered presentation tin from Scotland
with a dog on it
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:10, archived)
I would suggest you turn up in a royal blue velvet suit, white frilly shirt and crocodile boots
but that's probably your casual evening wear anyway
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 18:16, archived)
well that was fun.
i've relaxed a bit now by hammering through some work.
the sun's come out and i'm going to stop by the garage and bitch about locks on my way home. if i can get them replaced that's 2 or even 3 car issues in one go.

then i shall go and tidy up at home a bit, that always makes me feel better, and then i shall make egg fried rice, exercise a bit maybe, and shower all nice and clean for bedtime.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)
THIS IS SO MY BLOG.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)
*Applause*

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)
*a pause*

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)
Harpo's

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:33, archived)
a man, a plan, a canal - panama

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:33, archived)
a lem a plan a canal pamela.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:35, archived)
doo doo da do doo

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:35, archived)
Rise to vote Sir!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)
RACECAR

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:56, archived)
ADA

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:57, archived)
one of a long list of people who have sinned:
Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen sinned
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:59, archived)
I know noel

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:07, archived)
What the hell is going on

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:13, archived)
Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:20, archived)
I'm still none the wiser

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:21, archived)
I'm scared, planearm :(

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:24, archived)
AN APPLE IN ACAPULCA EATS ALAN'S NAN'S PAN

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:31, archived)
OH DEAR GOD STOP

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:38, archived)
I'VE ORDERED A REGAE REGAE FROM DOMINOS
Hopefully this will improve the situation
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:53, archived)
i enjoyed reading it

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:33, archived)
Is that because you've often wondered what 'outdoors' is like but are scared to find out?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:34, archived)
i know what it's like i can see it out of the window
it's wet.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:34, archived)
That's your tears.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:36, archived)
i can't cry anymore.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:40, archived)
How tall is Binky?
Genuinely worried about the motives of MW..
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:35, archived)
Not very big.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:36, archived)
oh come on

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)
and quite youthful looking.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)
thats enough of this.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)
5'3

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)
meh, my last gf was 5.0

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)
and insane

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)
Probably the move from middle to high school triggered that phase.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:40, archived)
perhaps.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:42, archived)
I'm off out..
Good Evening, internet.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:43, archived)
bye
have a beautiful time!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:44, archived)
Note, that JMG's been gone over an hour, yet his posts haven't been deleted.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:35, archived)
i will never be your gf.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:45, archived)
white town: your woman
now i quite liked this song but never ever heard another decent song by them
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:50, archived)
He never had another hit
the scale of the first one scared him and he went a bit quiet after that.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:30, archived)
you don't KNOW this

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:12, archived)
She's over 16.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:28, archived)
also,
.0
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:54, archived)
My mate, Handsome Gav Lord of the Ladies is a bit on the short side for a chap.
Hates having his head patted, I found out.. Swings for you.
How I love it.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:40, archived)
I was going to go home
but I have an ErUnOr so i have to stay at my desk until it goes.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:34, archived)
erection under orders?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:35, archived)
erection of unknown origin

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)
Did you check your pants? It may have started there

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)
it is wise to be sure of your erection's foundations.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)
yikes

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)
ergonomic unfinished oruevre.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:37, archived)
erection of unknown origin
girl's couldn't possibly understand
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)
nor could apostophe's

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)

let's be helpful, suggest things here to help baldmonkey, what can he think about to make it subside?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:52, archived)
potatoes.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:52, archived)
mushrooms

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:52, archived)
his children

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:53, archived)
the renaissance

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:53, archived)
paperclips

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:53, archived)
junk mail filters

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:54, archived)
the state of the sudan economy

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:55, archived)
unicorns

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:55, archived)
pop sensation justin bieber

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:55, archived)

*forehead slap* you were doing so well
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:56, archived)
AND BING, IT AROSE AGAIN

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:57, archived)
Sammi.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:04, archived)
woah woah, we're going for deflation not inversion

cos she is well uggers innit
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:08, archived)
I would like a biscuit.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:52, archived)
what kind?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:53, archived)
soggy?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:05, archived)
that would be terrible for dunking

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 17:13, archived)
On Mike Woz Ere's request:
...actually I've bottled it.
Sorry Mike :-(
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)
HAHAHAHAHA

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:00, archived)
So far I have 100% of the vote:
207.44.242.20/board/10445235
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:23, archived)
Undeniable evidence for a Baldmonkey romp to power.
Man the streets.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)
Making home brew?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:00, archived)

╭∩╮(︶︿︶)╭∩╮
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:01, archived)
i like this.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:54, archived)
way to let mike down

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:01, archived)
Oh man

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:05, archived)
Who's this poster?
I'm totally out of the loop.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:07, archived)
Nothing to concern your pretty geordie head about
Carry on
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:08, archived)
akjbkjbkjbkjbkjbkjbkjbkjbkjbkjbkjbkjbkjbfds
Some prick.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:10, archived)
Michael Chopra apparently signing today.
Get in.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:16, archived)
why would bicarb perk you up? and why cant you keep giving it?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:21, archived)
It can correct high potassium, but too much of it will really fuck your kidneys up.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:33, archived)
BIG GAMBLE.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)
What an exciting time to come online
To think I've been working when I could have been reading this!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:13, archived)
I know
I'm sorry. It would have been amazing, but I chickened out :(
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:16, archived)
You spineless cunt

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:16, archived)
Yeah, you wouldn't want to end up looking a prick, now, would you?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:25, archived)
What was he going to be doing bm?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)
replace song lyrics with "fucking kids"

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)
He was going to be a prick.
But instead he was a prick.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)
Stop being scared of the internet.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:16, archived)
I met a girl in Disneyland that works in your area of the UK.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:25, archived)
England?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)
don't be ridiculous...girls aren't allowed to work in England

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)
Is Mortal Wombat about?
Me and him need a chat.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)
Which dinosaurs wrote the most books?
The Brontesauruses.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:17, archived)
The Brontes didn't write a lot of books
only a handful
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)
Who the hell are the Brontes?
I'm on about dinosaurs here.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)
Next he'll be telling us that dinosaurs didn't write books at all and then push his glasses up his nose and breath in through his mouth

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)
Which dinosaur was best as driving in disguise?
The stigosaurus.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)
Two three-horned dinosaurs were chatting.
"I wish I could wear the blouse of an american actress from Sex In The City," said one, "but those of Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon do not fit me."
The other replied "Try Sarah's tops". (triceratops)
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)
What dinosaur was most fond of business attire?
The Tie-ranosaurus
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:56, archived)
Which dinosaur tastes like toffee and almonds?
The Dime-trodon
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:58, archived)
Which dinosaur captained the england football team
The John Terry-dactyl
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)
Which dinosaur is made of bird shit?
The I-guano-don
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:00, archived)
Which dinosaur holds your feet onto your legs?
The Ankle-yosaurus
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:01, archived)
Which dinosaur is the first reptillian president of the USA?
The Barack-iosaurus
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:02, archived)
Which dinosaur doesn't like getting wet?
The Dryosaurus
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:05, archived)
Which dinosaur is fond of musical theatre?
The Camptosaurus
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:05, archived)
Which dinosaur is very inquisitive?
The Wannanosaurus
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:07, archived)
zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar zanabazar fresh

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:07, archived)
That sounds like a handful more than any other dinosaurs managed.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)
The Bachiosaurus composed the most music.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)
The Pteranodons controlled the organised crime

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:32, archived)
Gorgon's control the editting of Saw films before the BBC screen them

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:34, archived)
Pterodactyls are ninja urinators.
THEY HAVE A SILENT P.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:36, archived)
BAH FUCKING DUM TISH

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:38, archived)
What were the best-qualified dinosaurs?
Diplomadocuses
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)

which dinosaur is mongychops's favourite? trisarahhardingtops
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:24, archived)
SSG's is the imgonnacommitsuicidosaurus

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)
mikes is the cuddlyfluffbunnydactyl

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)
Which dinosaur stamps on the kettle before you get to make a drink?
Tea wrecks. (T-Rex)
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)
Which holiday package do dinosaurs that like to sing in rhyme while cycling down costal paths in france go on for their holidays on?
the Velo Sea Rap Tour
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:36, archived)
Which dinosaur organises James Carter's gig times?
A dragon. (drag on)
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:41, archived)
Which dinosaur awards the lead singer of The Stooges a job in a university doing teaching?
Ig, you are a don. (iguanodon)
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:43, archived)

HEL-LO!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:47, archived)
What dinosaur is the
sweariest?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:48, archived)
hahahaha fuk u!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:50, archived)
FUCK YOU, SORE ARSE!!!!!!!!!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:54, archived)

can I have some of your morphine
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:56, archived)
NO.
Now that I am off my tits on MASSIVE DRUGS I'm about to drive home swerving all over the place and issuing pissy justice.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:01, archived)
which is the only dinosaur whose extinction was not caused by a catastrophic comet impact but by its over-use in jokes?
the doyouthinkhesaurus
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:48, archived)
and the name of the dog of the only dinosaur whose extinction was not caused by a catastrophic comet impact but by its over-use in jokes?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:50, archived)
I think it was Bosco

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:50, archived)
Which dinosaur is the largest known Asian troodontid, with a skull length of 272mm (10.7 inches)?
A zanabazar.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:52, archived)
haha! YES, I TOTALLY get that joke!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:54, archived)
which is the ONLY acceptable unit?
a clade
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clade
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:55, archived)

worryingly close to glade
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:55, archived)
clade, cresh.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:57, archived)
which dinosaurs are the oldest ones?
they are all the same age, they were put in the ground by god to test you
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)
I don't know, sorry, I've been in Disneyland.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:19, archived)
Didn't you try and tell everyone before too?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:20, archived)
Did anyone care then?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)
I don't think so...

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)
Whoa, hold on, are you getting upset about me going to Disneyland? Would you like to talk about it, champ?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)
This is an interesting version of "getting upset",
i have not seen that one before, when we were kids it used to be called indifference and piss taking, nowadays it seems when someone is grecieving indifference and piss taking, they say that it is people getting upset, to mask their own upset at the indifference.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)
I can't imagine why I would be upset, having just come back from a free holiday to Disneyland.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)
Yeah Dekion tried this one yesterday.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)
What I don't get is why someone would be so upset having just come back from a free holiday to Disneyland.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)
Maybe French-Mickey touched his tra la la

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:36, archived)
I like the word "greiceiving"
it's like you're getting something, and you're very unhappy about it.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)
i'm going to try and get it into the dictionary, along with knunder

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:32, archived)
doubt it, most schools finish about this time and he is a nonce

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:19, archived)


(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:24, archived)
This is actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
What is it like being a peadophile?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:26, archived)
i don't know

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)
Hey no need to be coy we're all friends on here,
we all know that you are a paedophile, I was just wondering what drives someone to that sort of behaviour, it might help us cure the problem if we are more aware of the mentality of your sorts.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)
my sorts?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)
Paedophiles

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)
that's my sort, is it?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)
Well, isn't it?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:33, archived)
sorry gotta go
i just realised i left the children on
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:35, archived)
+ your dick

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:39, archived)
was sort of implied you thick fuck

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:50, archived)
Congratulations on getting through that without throwing a tantrum at me for no reason.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:40, archived)
thanks

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:49, archived)
You said you were going.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:50, archived)
i did, i came back, then went away
then came back again, i'd like an alarm call please, and some toast
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)
It's like 10,000 spoons when all you want to do is fuck kids.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)
mike seems to know more than me

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)
It's like meeting the man of your dreams and then fucking his kids.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:34, archived)
I propose a new thread
consisting of musical lyrics, with the essential parts replaced with 'fucking his kids'
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:37, archived)
You should start it!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:38, archived)
I think you starting it would be more effective.
I am but small fry
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:40, archived)
Hey you gotta start somewhere man!
Start it and I'll support you 100%!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:43, archived)
Oh boy oh gee

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:58, archived)

PHWOAR
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)
OH BOY!
If SSG's joined the police force, it'll be the best day ever!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)
more like that episode of the young ones when neil joins the police force

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)
Hurray!!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:33, archived)
An Englishman, Irishman and Baldmonkey walk in to a bar..
Complete the joke.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:41, archived)

three pints please, said baldmonkey
fuck me, a talking monkey, said the barman
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)
ROFL!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)
There's been a distinct lack of Baldmonkey lately.
People have a go at his shit music, but the man is a talent.
Much like SSG's art.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)
...nacle.
LOLWAKI
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:46, archived)
YES!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:47, archived)
the englishman orders ale, the irishman orders whiskey and baldmonkey orders milk. when told he bar doesn't sell milk, he bursts into tears and wets himself

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)
I'd like CCTV of this.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)
baldmonkey's enough of a joke already

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)
We'll all pay when he's on TV.
With Friz..
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)
on Crimewatch, most likely

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:53, archived)
I've decided to interpret that as "baldmonkey is the best stand-up comedian in the world".
Cheers, blud.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:52, archived)
When I see you I do laugh, I must admit

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:52, archived)
You are too kind/two kind.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:02, archived)
The Englishman and the Irishman politely ask baldmonkey to stop following them.
Baldmonkey burns the bar down and writes his own name in the embers.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:54, archived)
Much like the future, when he is mod.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:59, archived)

And Englishman, Irishman, and
walk in to a bar..
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:55, archived)
i think i might go up the pub

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:56, archived)
I have the best ideas.
For this country.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:59, archived)
I don't have the middle bit
but the punchline is "and the landlord said 'No, I said THAT KEG, not CAT LEGS!"
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:59, archived)
Everybody walks the dinosaur.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:01, archived)
ACTIONSMASH!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)
I don't.
Not with these catlegs.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
I thought baldmonkey was an Englishman.
If there are two Englishmen in the joke then it's clearly racist.
I demand compensation.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
I thought Baldmonkey himself was a Principality?
I'd like to see his flag.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)
Displaying the flag of baldmonkey in public is classed as a criminal offence.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
THERE'S A WALES IN THE BALDMONKEY!!!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)
They all hit their heads, despite there being clear signage as to the bar's presence.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)
They all buy a drink. sit down at a table and quietly discuss the important issues of the day
BM contemplates buying a packet of pork scratchings, but decideds against it because no one else wants any and he doesn't want to be the only one eating. At this point they realise they should be getting back, so they take their glasses back to he bar, say a polite thank you to the barmaid, and leave in high spirits.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:19, archived)
i feel short-tempered today.
who wants a go? HUH?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)

cheer up love, it might never appen hurhurhurcheers
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:37, archived)
it must be that time of the month hurhurhurcheers

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:39, archived)
I'm a bit like that, all tired & bleh for no reason
I have found ignoring a couple of /talk users to be quite therapeutic though
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)
Do you find breasts theraputic?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)
I find your breasts therapeutic
gissa jiggle
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:46, archived)
I don't do that anymore.
It's not empowering to my feminist nature.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:50, archived)
Fuck feminism
lets fuck
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:50, archived)
my word!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)
I'm tired from all the Disneylanding.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)
Oh man, have you been to Disney Land?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)
he didn't even put his head in the shark's mouth

I bet he didn't go and see the michael jackson 3D experience either
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)
being touched up in 3D doesn't sound fun, gludeel.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:52, archived)
I also didn't do Star Tours.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:28, archived)
Didja have fun? Didja? Didja?
Did you go on the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)
I bloody loved it. Yeah, we did the Tower twice. It broke down the second time and I almost shit myself.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

tempered
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:47, archived)
A go sounds splendid.
I thought you'd never ask.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:51, archived)
*twiddles thumbs*
still waiting, here. Just sayin'
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)
Oh my, can we have dinner first before you have a go on me? It's just that I tend to like to know people a lot better.
I'm not saying I can't grow to love you, that we can florish a great romance... it's just that there is so much more than a one night fling.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR COTTON EYED JOE I'D HAVE BEEN MARRIED LONG TIME AGO WHERE DID YOU COME FROM WHERE DID YOU GO WHERE DID YOU COME FROM COTTON EYED JOE

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:54, archived)
are you having another breakdown?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)
i got OVER EIGHTY PERCENT OF THE VOTE
why aren't i a fucking mod.
FESHR
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)
This isn't a democracy
thank fuck.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)
So you're saying I should execute a hostile takeover?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)
Yeah, why not. Give it a go.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:01, archived)
sexually active fresh sexually active fresh etc

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:29, archived)

why not just pretend to be a mod? make yourself a table-top model of the talk board, make little cardboard figures, push them about with a pushthingsabout stick like they have in war films
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:32, archived)
This isn't a democracy, it's a cheer-ocracy. And this isn't a leadership, it's a cheership. And I am the cheerdator.
NOW BRING IT ON, 2, BITCH.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:03, archived)
FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT FUCK EYES CUNT
In a way
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:04, archived)
Hello Deckion, how are you doing Dekion? I'm sorry if you're not deckion, it's just that yourself and dekion (if you're not dekion) are sounding very similar.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:06, archived)
YEAH YEAH, COMAPRE ME TO DAMION NOW YOU FUCKING PRICK, I KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD.
TOTALLY GOT THERE FIRST.


IN. YOUR FACE
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)

https://sites.google.com/site/ipissedonanorchestra/system/app/pages/sitemap/list
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)
fuck that shit
i have nothing but love for you
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)
fucking hell, man

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:39, archived)
SPINE STAMP!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)
You are nothing like Damion.
You COULD be a good person.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:30, archived)
because you CHEATED

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:09, archived)
*attempts to push face*

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:05, archived)
I'm in a real shitty
I'm happy to have a 'get-it-out-of-my-system' fight
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)
take your top off
/ac
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)
tachion top off

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)
*spoffs*

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)
not really, not in the mood, got a lot of sad stuff to deal with

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:31, archived)

sadface of pointless internet sympathy
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:36, archived)
thanks vlad, it is this sort of caring attitude that keeps me going

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:38, archived)

happyface of empty meaningless internet validation
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:39, archived)
burying your unused bait?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:40, archived)
*steeples fingers*
and when exactly did you start feeling this way?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)
well today it was when my car boot opened as i drove home for lunch and i stopped to close it and it wouldn't close
and then i had to reverse up about half a mile of lanes because a bloody-minded van driver wouldn't reverse 10 feet, and so i was late for lunch and didn't have time to sort anything out and it feels like i might as well buy a new car because of the pile of stuff that needs doing and then i had to reverse for a woman that hardly slowed down then braked sharply like it was my fault and also the recycle lorry was blocking my drive ARRRRGH
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:40, archived)
you've been DRIVEN CRAZY by your day

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:42, archived)
ARRRRGH

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=78b67l_yxUc
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:52, archived)
and yes, get rid of the car

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)
but, big sunroof.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
I bought a turkey salad baguette, a curry pasty and a lardy cake.
Don't delay,
Vote today.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:05, archived)
christ

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:07, archived)
Deal with it.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)
*deals with it*

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)

this doesn't sound like a balanced meal, where is the fruit and vegetables, that salad probably isn't much more than a thin slice of tomato and some transparent lettuce thick with mayonaise
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)
the salad is actually a bowl of smokey bacon crisps with salad cream on it

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)
IF I WANTED VEGETABLES
I'D HAVE PUNCHED MY WIFE IN THE GUT WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)

SPROUTSPARSNIPSCABBAGEPURPLESPROUTINGBROCCOLILEMONSSATSUMASDRAGONFRUITCAULIFLOWERCOURGETTEONIONTOMATOESSPAGHETTISQUASHGUAVAGUAVAGUAVADATESAPPLESPARSNIPS
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)
LARDYCAKE
is an anagram of LADY GLADE
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

tomorrow is an anagram of yesterday
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)
you can't just make vegetables up like that, there are laws you know

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

TURPORD, CAVOLABRESE, EARLY BRASSENTS
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:17, archived)
I'VE CALLED THE CROPS

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)
THE POLICE WILL TOTALLY FEEL HIS COLLARflower

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:08, archived)
He won't even have time TURNIP to the toilet. (TO NIP to the toilet).

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:12, archived)
HE MIGHT PEA IN HIS TROUSERS

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
He's BEAN (been) a BERRY (very) naughty SAVOY (boy).

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)

this is a case for Haricot (Hercule) Poire (Poirot) [ [poire is french for pear]
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)
I'll do nothing and like it.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)
You'll probably piss in a tube to get a peanut.
You taffy-twat.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:11, archived)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-13560247
you have to get this chap to a concert
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:24, archived)

"So he started peeing and then he realised: 'Wait a minute, if I move in that direction, that fills up the tuba'."
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:07, archived)
have you killed /talk, baldy?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:53, archived)
Dun my besyt innit.
I'm off my tits on morphine now.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:59, archived)
MASSIVE DRUGS.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
ENGAGE QOTW TRANSLATIONISOR:
blip I have consumed a small amount of a semi-synthetic opium derivative mixed with some paracetemol as prescibed by my doctor for my bad back. Other than slight pain relief, there are unlikely to be any noticable effects. blooooooooooop
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:04, archived)
Is stubbo about today?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)
ANALgesic.
HAHAHAHAHA!
Perenial? PERI-ANAL MORE LIKE!
ANAL-FELLATED SHOCK! HAHAHAHAH!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)
Geography?
Geog-on-fatty more like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:14, archived)
I'm popping out to Soothill's.
Back in a bit.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:44, archived)
ta raa
don't stand in dog poo.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)
Miss you already

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)
Get me some haribo while you're out

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)
Please
Where are my manners?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

needs more 'you there'
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)
You there *claps hands*
Dance for me
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)
across the sea?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

No
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:55, archived)

OK
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)
on that frisbee you chucked out of the window.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)
I don't throw them out of windows, silly jenpots

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)
why?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:50, archived)
They're supposed to be thrown to other people
You only throw them out of the window if you want to make frisbee people sad.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:53, archived)
*makes notes*

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)

are you going to throw them out of the window
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:00, archived)
yes

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:00, archived)
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:16, archived)

Wednesday: Please pass the salt.
Morticia: And what do we say?
Wednesday: NOW.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)
Google sez
you can buy motorbicycles there.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)
LIAR

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)
fucking awesome bakery

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)
Morning, Talkers
Vote for the new Question of the Week

THAT IS ALL
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:02, archived)
I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME.
I WANT TO FELLATE YOU.
I WANT TO DRINK YOUR WEE.
I WANT TO WANK INTO YOUR POO.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:04, archived)
It was good, yes. I wouldn't bother doing the half board upgrade because the food choices are a bit shit.
Buffalo Bills wasn't great, either. I felt a bit bad for the animals in it.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:06, archived)
I like animal cruelty. So I will probably enjoy that. That.
What would you do for food if you didn't go half-board? Are their resturants on site? I could look at the website I suppose. HELLO.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:09, archived)
There're loads of restaurants around the parks and in the Disney Village, but if you go half board they give you vouchers and you can only eat off set menus.
The set menus are a bit shit. Since you're bringing kids you'd be better off just buying food when you're there at one of the burger stands.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)
Nice one.
Bosh.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:19, archived)
I'M HERE WITH MY 'ALTERNATIVE' POLL
www.b3ta.com/board/10445211
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:53, archived)
i clicked on one of these polls before and then it comes up all massive on your screen and obvious.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:59, archived)
you just get a message saying 'thanks for voting' in a big font, i think

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:01, archived)
FUCK THAT:
207.44.242.20/board/10445225
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:08, archived)
you filthy polljacker

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)
ACTUALLY:
207.44.242.20/board/10445235
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)
A little two line poem about love:
Look at you looking at me having a wee,
look at me looking at you having a poo.

/this has been in my head for a while
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:11, archived)
Bit of a hobson's choice this week.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:04, archived)
I miss Bob Todd.
And her massive pert tits.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:05, archived)
Has she gone, then?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:07, archived)
I haven't seen her on here for a while.
Massive pert tits.
I would very much like to fist her and then spunk on her massive pert tits.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:09, archived)
Avoiding the face, I see.
"User Not Found"
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:12, archived)
MASSIVE
PERT
TITS
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)
I might pop to the lav and have a wank now.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:12, archived)
Farts.
Although fairgrounds, amusement parks, carnivals could be good, what with me having just come back from Disneyland.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:05, archived)
The thought of QOTWers swapping fart anecdotes for seven days makes my blood run cold.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:06, archived)
It'll be brilliant. Real comedy gold.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:08, archived)
You went to Disneyland. You should have mentioned it

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:06, archived)
I felt sure that I did.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:07, archived)
I'm really upset there's no shark photo

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)
There was a shark on the Finding Nemo rollercoaster.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:15, archived)
but what about the big one everyone puts their head in? :((((

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:15, archived)
STOP BULLYING FURRY D AND HER VAGIBRINER

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:19, archived)
I'd love to put my head up FD's vagibriner
and then blow so the air makes her fanny fart and her labia flopple against my neck.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:24, archived)
*stops eating tuna-mayo on ryvita*
Thanks for that
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:14, archived)
That's the Jaws ride in Universal Studios. Jesus, gludel.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:20, archived)
i find it stagering that you live in the uk's no1 tourist resort yet chose to go to france, you welsh are crazy

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:24, archived)
anarchy in the yukon

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:27, archived)
anchovies for the Ukraine

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:29, archived)
antimone in the o.j.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:32, archived)
alimony in the ouse

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:38, archived)
chromakey in the backpain

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)
oh man, it was in the village part
if it's not there anymore I'm going to be really upset
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:26, archived)
ugh

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)
fuck questions for the weak and fuck you

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:11, archived)
seconded
EDIT: except the Fuck You part.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:12, archived)
Clickin dis.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:27, archived)
just click it then you sycophantic twat

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)
Calm down dear

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:09, archived)
Calm down dear

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:13, archived)
NO YOU FUCKING CALM DOWN DEAR

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:15, archived)
careful there, you can get naughty stepped for using capitals these days
i'm not saying that cr3 is drunk with power, but he is
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:20, archived)
To quote cr3 when I also moaned like a girl about him
"Lol, butthurt"
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)
you are a girl you kack handed frisbee tossing wrongchild

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:30, archived)
i think "lol, butthurt" is more succinct.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)
Calm down dear

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)
I've got to be honest
you recognising me as a child makes me a little uncomfortable.
No offence.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)
calm down dear

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)
Calm down dear

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)
Boo hoo

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)
I'm not voting.
Every week you come here with your promises, but once the election is over /QOTW remains the same.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)
Well, that rather contradicts what you said
here
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:35, archived)
You, sir, are a cad, a bounder and a cunt.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:44, archived)
a hot bed of intellectual discussions and a gold mine of hysterically funny storys?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 11:38, archived)
Get the anger out of your system
Upon whom will you unleash your fury today?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 6:49, archived)
My landlady!
Who is a fuckwit of the highest order and has for four days refused to answer my calls regarding some plumbing work that needs to be done.
(In fairness, the water supply is running out and the well needs drilled about 10mtrs deeper to reach the current optimum water table supply depth and it's going to cost her a fucking fortune)
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 6:55, archived)
ROOOAAAAAAAARRRRRGGHH!
Anyone probably. I'm at absolute fever pitch of excitement and nerves. Don't cross me, yeah?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:19, archived)
Am I to assume tonight there will be a very drunk and cheery TFD?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:38, archived)
I'm not sure.
I might just cry into a solitary gin. I bet it's going to be one hell of an anti-climax.

How are you lovely?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:43, archived)
I had that the day I finished my degree. Few beers at home and I was so knackered I went to bed early
I'm grand, the sky is blue and optimism is in the air. Today I design a logo for The Renal Institute of Birmingham. Wheeeee.

Why cry into gin when you can be all YAY GIN?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:52, archived)
A big fat yellow man pissing on the bullring.
You're welcome.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:57, archived)
Cor, cheers

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:06, archived)
a kidney stamped with a map of birmingham city centre and a big question mark

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:59, archived)
That's pretty out there, Binkly

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:11, archived)
Definitely leaving that typo

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:12, archived)
hmm maybe the question mark is too much.
do they have a special institue hat you can dress the kidney in?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:52, archived)
Anyone who tries to jump the subway queue.
Usually three or four people.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:22, archived)
you queue?
For the tube?

Like... in a line?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:22, archived)
He's probably the only one in Beijing who does!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:28, archived)
Yeah, there's this great thing where everyone has to get off one packed train, up some stairs, through a labyrinth of fences and down some stairs to another platform.
It takes two or three trains before you can get to the front of the queue, and there are fences to attempt to keep people in line, but some cunts always just walk to the front and squeeze into the gap between fence and train.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:26, archived)
Just push them in front of the train.
Unless it's the one with the weird glass barrier thing that the train has to line up perfectly with. That confused me the first time.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:41, archived)
They only run up when the train arrives, so I can only push them into the train, not under it,
but it's a nice though.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:44, archived)
Nobody. I'm in quite a good mood
Then again I haven't woken up or encountered the general populace yet...
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:38, archived)
*bangs pans*
*dances around your room*
*jumps up and down on you bed*
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:44, archived)
You're a furry dinosaur. I could never be cross at you.
I'm more concerned about having to brave Kidderminster town center, it's where proles go to die
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:53, archived)
Things I know about Kidderminster
* I used to go to the big swimming pool there when I was a kid.
* It has lots of roundabouts and discount carpet warehouses.
* The MP is (or was) some single issue independent who managed to stay in office despite completely failing to do anything about his cause.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:58, archived)
Yeah, we got rid of him
The town finally decided that while having a hospital is very important, there are many other things that are far more important.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:06, archived)
Also
that's a lot of kidderminster knowledge. You poor bastard. The swimming pool is quite good though
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:07, archived)
Is it still there?
They had good water slides and chips in a paper cone.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:29, archived)
Yep
They've got a "big arena" there now. Every year - Roy Chubby Brown.

Did you grow up around here then?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:40, archived)
Sort of. In a village near Bromyard, went to high school in Worcester.
Not local by normal urban people's standards.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:46, archived)
Not the grammar?
My brother went there. Endless tales of hilarity
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:05, archived)
No, a shit high school, we didn't associate with the poshos.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:09, archived)
You missed out
Public school humour etc
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)
ehhh load of army boys and toffs
they still humour about willies and poo
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:25, archived)
another thing about Kidderminster
it has absolutely no good graffiti, anywhere...

and my mate manages a candle factory there, a candle factory!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)
the internet i expect
it usually asks for it, the slut
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:44, archived)
Dude. The only person you need to get angry with is the Tyler Durden prick who creeps out of your psyche every time you turn on your computer.
Put down the mouse and fuck off outside until you're mentally healthy again.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:51, archived)
Why has he picked up the mouse anyway?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 7:59, archived)
tyler is probably just about to throw it at the internet, or something

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:01, archived)
see, now there's really no need for that dr sham
assuming i have a mouse. tsk.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:00, archived)
every user of the m25

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:14, archived)
including yourself?
Or you just specifically hate them despite having no impact on you.?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:21, archived)
I'm sure they probably do have an impact
since he'll be amongst them in traffic, or bad driving.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:30, archived)
yeah but
unless he's part of the solution he's PART OF THE PROBLEM!!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:59, archived)
There are one or two debtors I need to kick in* today
*kick in = send whiny letters asking to pay us
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:40, archived)
I'm delivering four back to back training sessions this morning
then two more this afternoon.

By the end of the day I'm going to be bored as fuck listening to myself drone on
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:54, archived)
is it online?
sounds fascinating?

Correct personal effects locker usage 101?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:00, archived)
I am training people in the use of an online system

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:05, archived)
Probably my brother.
He's being a fucking prick. I blame the retard he married.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:00, archived)
all brothers are pricks, end of
oh...except me. Hmm...I need to re-think this.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:04, archived)
I have two brothers.
They both have their prickish qualities. The alcoholic one is actually behaving at the moment.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:07, archived)
No one today...today is for peace and serenity.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:04, archived)
Ghey

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:06, archived)
If I get angry while working one more time I fear someone may be killed

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:07, archived)
Do it
Do it do it do it do it do it
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:25, archived)
My two cats who denied me my pre-commute cup of tea by leaving me the bloodied remains of a pied wagtail to clean up
making me late for work
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:04, archived)
What? But I...
oh...two CATS.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:06, archived)
Cool.
I just get starlings.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:17, archived)
A crow once crash landed head first in our back garden
That was not pleasant to wake up to.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:20, archived)
I once ate a chicken

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:35, archived)
FoooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOoooooooOd

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:44, archived)
a whole chicken? DOUBLE HARD YOU!

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)
I like it when pigeons fly into windows and leave the greasy mark on the window of their splayed out wings and startled face because they crashed into a window.
That happens in this office occasionally. I have never seen the pigeon crash into a window. I have only seen the greasy mark left on the window by the pigeon that crashed into the window.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)
well this was a full-on dead fucking crow in my garden
it was horrible
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:05, archived)
I like crows.
I might do the eye spy book of birds again but try to spot dead ones.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:21, archived)
It was a gift, you insensitive bastard.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:37, archived)
I'd rather a full English breakfast and a paper

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:42, archived)
STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP
STOMP

bleugrhghrhgh
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:14, archived)
I'M TIRED.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:19, archived)
Have a nap
your boss won't mind
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:24, archived)
He's not here. He'd never know.
Good idea.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:57, archived)
Anyone who makes today more difficult than it needs to be.
Moving day, innit.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:42, archived)
I'm not angry. I'm absolutely knackered from Disneyland though.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)
I met a girl who lives and works near HBLC so it was all worth it.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:49, archived)
Was it good?
We are going to go during half term in october or november whenever I don't know. Fuck off.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:03, archived)
turns out i've got to go to the hospital today, sadtimes

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:54, archived)
Oh god, did MW find you?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 9:55, archived)
I'd like to see that on CSI
"The victim's face appears to be have been flattened and his cheek skin contains flakes of white paint and plaster."
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 10:03, archived)
NoMoreWhales.
A concept I have where fatty fatty boom boom threads are automatically hidden. From the eyes of people who don't wish to be bogged down with chubbers 'net.
What enhancements do you envisage in internet 2.0?

No food. No tantrums.
Cheers.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:51, archived)
Everyone is funny

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
I thought we'd already had internet 2.0?
I'm waiting for 3.0 where they put porn on every page.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
*Dampens brow*

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
The Big Society won't stand for it
it's going to be chastity-a-go-go from now on, apparently.
They've even gone so far as to bring in a bloke from the Mothers' Union.
Let's examine that. A bloke is the CEO of the Mothers' Union. That's quite fucked up, really.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)
PUFF.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)
Me, or him?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:07, archived)
Him!
The big nancy..
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:13, archived)
Ah, right.
He seems to be a proper twat.
This has nothing whatsoever to do with any sexual preference he may have - for all we know, he might have 17 kids and two mistresses on the go - but it does seem a bit fucking strange that the MU have a bloke in charge.
Just saying, like.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:18, archived)
Or maybe he's just worked his way into a position where he's surrounded by women that he knows will put out.
Smart fellow.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)
I'm not knocking his initiative
just saying that it seems a bit daft.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:10, archived)
Agreed.
How are you, lovely wynoh? I see that you have a new job. Congratulations! What is it?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:21, archived)
I happen to be working in a wine shop.
Surprising, I know.
How's your awesome self, aaAaaAAaaAaRRRRRrrdvaAAAaaaAAaaAaArrrrRRrrk!!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)
My awesome self is awesome!
I am driving to Mongolia next month. For charity. I am actually starting to shit myself a little bit about it now, even though I've been planning it for a year.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)
If it's in that Micra
I'd be shitting myself, too.

:D

gaz me donation details
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:30, archived)
are you going to throw a sheet over the car and sleep under it during the night
and suckle from its teats when your canteens run dry?
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)
I'm hoping it won't come to that
but possibly. :(
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:41, archived)
JUST DONT DIE

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:44, archived)
I won't!
Not when I have all the lovely people here to come back to. :)
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:49, archived)
...and me
don't forget me
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 8:52, archived)
Bet there'll be lots of not-so-subtle Army adverts though.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:11, archived)
internets != webs
very different.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 6:07, archived)
I'd like an app for facebook that lets me give people electric shocks.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
A secret keyboard shortcut, known only by me, that turns off the internet for half an hour,
forcing people to go outside for a bit.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:53, archived)
Make it during the day.
Get them into direct sunlight for a bit.
These people are like failed goths. They're the sweaty, older goth. It's just they don't hang out with girls of sixteen and under.
Any girls, in fact.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:55, archived)
Actually, fuck that idea.
I'm putting the internet on a photocell and an inverter or something, so it won't work during daylight hours.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)
I dont
Most sequels are shit anyway.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)
Something that stops me harping on about fucking bread
I'm going to bed. Wuv woo all xxxxxxx
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)
This'll fall under the no food rule.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:55, archived)
night night sugar tits.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
I love bread
Night!
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
I bet you're going to bread really

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)
there was much discussion at work about how to make the best bread,
i can not escape talk about bread
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 1:45, archived)
i'd like a warning light telling me when a moron is about to post
so i can get in there and start a new thread. although i'm concerned i might set off my own alarm
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:55, archived)
She looks like the kind of girl you could turn around on her back and she'll still look like a boy.
I can dig that.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
OHHHH SWEET 90NZ0!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)
Have we gone back in time and you're talking about Kersal again?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)
all the new posts would be dragged onto my screen by the bonzi buddy ape

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)
You fucking monster.
/ac
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)
All searches should be done in the form of a long-winded question through AskJeeves circa 1998.
I fucking hate progress.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)
Dear Jeeves, where are the fannies?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:05, archived)
Hello Jeeves, how are you? I hope you are well. Please could you show me some cute videos of kittens? Thanks loads. Lots of love, Aardvark.

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)
I'd like to see each search begin with:
"HERE, TARQUIN....."

Promoting gentlemen on the internet.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)
Dear Jeeves
where can I get a blue rinse next Wednesday at half 3 in the afternoon. For £3. Thanks.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:14, archived)
every 30 minutes your monitor turns into a mirror
so that you can stare at your reflection and wonder what you are doing with your life
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:09, archived)
I like this.
Or worryingly, SexFace watches himself have a hand shandy.
:(
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:16, archived)

it'd be wanker's roulette, but he'd be hoping he got a picture of himself at the crucial moment
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:18, archived)
 
roulette Roulade
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:20, archived)

i.imgur.com/qkR2Z.png
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)
FOOOOOODTHREADYEAH
www.ocado.com/cmscontent/recipe_image_large/56651.jpg
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:24, archived)
YAY

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:25, archived)
I would like that
I could check my hair still looks ok without getting up.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:19, archived)
Every site should have a Wax on/Wax off mode

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:22, archived)
Wow

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:56, archived)
The protein research screensaver actually cures cancer

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:59, archived)
MUCHMOREWALES

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 1:45, archived)
the internet is just a fad
i expect 2.0 will fail
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 3:31, archived)
Whose this "I"?

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 6:56, archived)
So...
what did everyone have for their tea?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)
Cheese on toast

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)
chedder?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)
Red leicester

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)
I like the cut of your jib

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)
I fucking love cheese on toast.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)
I fucking love melty cheese
toast is an obstacle imposed by a cruel society
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:23, archived)
FONDUE

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:23, archived)
GOD BLESS THE SWISS

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:26, archived)
I would be happy
to die in a big bath of fondue.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)

it's a little known fact that one of the gadgets on a swiss army knife is intended to help you climb the side of a fondue pot, should you fall in, it's saved many lives
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
It will be the only I would use
apart from the horse hoof cleaner
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)
it's true, horses love a fondue, can't keep them away

(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)
Horses can FUCK OFF
coming near my melty cheese.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)
Cheese on waffles is better
Discuss?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:24, archived)
Oh I dunno.
They are good. Not as good as Quesadilla though.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:26, archived)
Melted cheese
On crackers
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)
What madness is this?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)
Simple madness
Advanced madness would be nachos with grated mexicana and monterey jack. And a dip of sour cream and chili... ooooMnOmnOmNOM
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)
We talking potato rather or the american ones..?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)
Potato

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)
You double fucking double idiot.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)
You fucking double fucking reply fucking fuck

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)
BIRD'S EYE POTATO WAFFLES, WAFFLY VERSATILE

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)
My spellchecker accepts 'waffly' as a real word.
Odd.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)
YE I KNOW

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)
WIN!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)
You fucking idiot.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)
I'm getting a vibe...

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:28, archived)
That's your idiocy resonating with your fucking idiocy.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)
That is not even a thing you massive nobber.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:28, archived)
Lasher!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)
CHEESE ON A FLOPPY DISK

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)
SCRAPINGS FROM THE GRILL TRAY

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
ON A POUND COIN

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)
3.5" or 5.1/4"?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
STICK TO THE 3,5" FATTY

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)
DIET FLOPPY

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)
Isn't that what people shout at Mykeyboy?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:48, archived)
Crusty bread. S'all you need.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)
Someone I work with call their sandwiches 'breadcakes'

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)
You have my permission to call them a fucking idiot.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)
Next time you see them, slap them
Assuming this is a grown adult and not a fussy-eater child.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)
If it is a child with bad eating habits
slap them twice
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)
Grown adult
Apparently 'breadcake' is a Yorkshire thing
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)
Or they're just a dick that wants to make food more childish
Probably because of some crippling insecurities about having to grow the fuck up.

Fucking breadcakes.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)
Never heard of it.
/born and raised in South Yorkshire
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)
According to wiki
It's a Yorkshire and East Lancs thing
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)
BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP. BAP.
OOOOooooh get me and my rolls *flounce*
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)
West Bolton-upon-Dearne, born and raised,
down t' coal pit is where I spent most of my days
etc.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)
West Aaardzleh born'n reehz'd
Darn't pit's whurra spent most o'me deehz
Proppin' up, bangin', gi'ing it some 'ammer
Then goin' darn t'boozer or t'wukin' men's club
When a couple o' knob'eads mekkin' a racket
Started fuckin' abart in t'tarn
A gorrina fight and me mam shit 'ersen
She said "Yer movin' to yer nan and grandad's in Kexbrough!"
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
I like this
That is all.

You can turn off the Internet now. I have no further use for it.
(, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)
They are clearly insane

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)
breadcake/barmcake/cob
are what you might call a 'bread roll' if you're not a devout southerner.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)
Me too!
I have a poppy seed loaf, it's really tasty. I think I prefer poppy seed to tiger bread.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:40, archived)
TIGER BREAD

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)
Asda tiger bread is awesome

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)
i would like to show my endorsement for tiger bread at this point

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)
Endorsement noted

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)
YES!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)
I've never been to an Asda
I'm THAT middle class
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)
I go to a Asda all the time

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:48, archived)
Povvo
(I did actually go to one once, with an ex. We bought a pizza and it was horrible)
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)
make your own Pizza at Asda
are the best! Mind you, I have also had quite a few 'stop hitting your child' arguments while standing in line.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
I might harp on about Morrisons a bit more. Their store-fresh pizzas are amazing

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:53, archived)
I hate Morrisons
I can never find anything and it's all 'bitty;..
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)
the most embarrassing ones are when they are all 'stop hitting my child'

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:54, archived)
we don't even HAVE an asda
gotta love my middle class town
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)
We're getting one :(
Mind you, for here it's actually a step up
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)
The Asda tiger bread loaves are the best

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)
Nothing can beat Morrisons and I am entirely unmoveable on this

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:51, archived)
Actually Sainsburys do a good one

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:51, archived)
I'm stopping this conversation now

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:52, archived)
Morrisons tiger bread loaves are INADEQUATE compared to Asda.
Never tried Sainsburys version.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:55, archived)
I will quite often get a small tiger tails baguette
to eat on the way home from asda.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)
I almost bought a tiger baguette from Morrisons today
but upon inspection it was oddly limp and disappointing
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:50, archived)
Shame and despair.
And chips.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)
Mashed some jersey royals
and added a bit of decent mustard. Simple and all of the awesomes.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)
ham and ricecakes

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)
Before I provide an answer I would like to know if you intend to use it in one of your massively unfunny 'comedy' videos.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)
I will try not to. How's that?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)
as much as i hate to agree with him
you are a massively untalented cunt
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)
keep it coming big man, i'm almost there...

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)
Unfortunate. I had a massive bowl of talent and wit.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)
Where did you get that from
because I am starving!
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)
your mums uterus just before you were conceived

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)
You're good

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:23, archived)
i just thought i'd bring it down to your level

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:25, archived)
Thank you.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)
s'alrite

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)
now this is humour
learn from this man
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)
haha
some cocoa populars, some cor,uarentarffunny flakes and two wittyabix
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)
I
Like this
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)
I'd probably go back and kill Hitler.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)
PIE
PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE,
PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE, PIE.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)
a pizza from the tandoori across the road
It was pretty good, i can still feel the heat.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)
After burn is one of lifes few pleasures
I salute you.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)
it shall certainly be a "ring stinger" tomorrow

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)
shoe

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)
Second-hand vomit and bits of glass.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)
Alright Salad Fingers.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)
My mother's just about alive and she said, "Do you want the citrus fruit? Because I gotta fuckload of it."
I said, "I don't want no citrus fruit, it makes my hair go funny!" She said, "Are you a serial killer?" I said, "No! I'm not a fuckin' serial killer!" I said, "I ain't no serial killer. I killed a bunch of people but they were one-offs, there was no series." "How many people you kill?" she say. I say, "I don't know, 210? 215? I lost count! I don't like countin'!" She said, "Where did you put the bodies?" I said, "I just let them go - released 'em into the wild."
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)

i.imgur.com/qkR2Z.png
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)
So one guy that I killed came up to my house the next day, he said "What the fuck?" I said, "Quit whinin'! Back in my day we didn't whine, we didn't get nothin' from whinin'."
I went back down to the System office and I said, "Why are they all whinin'? Every fucker's whinin' out here. What's goin' on with the systems?" and he says "Hey, I don't know nothin'!" I said, "You know somethin'! You gotta know somethin'!" and he said, "No, I don't know nothin'!" I said "How'd you get this job?" and he said, "I was born into it!" I says "When were you born?" and he says, "About 25 minutes ago." I says "OK! I'm gonna give you to the count of fifty-four! And I want you to learn somethin'!" So I counted to fifty-four, all the numbers were there, one two three four five six seven eight nine, all the way to fifty-four. And by fifty-four I said, "You motherfucker! You better have motherfuckin' learnt somethin', dicksucker!" and he said "I have." He looked in the dictionary, and looked up a word. I can't remember what the word was, but I said "Good!" He said, "Have you ever killed anyone?" I said "Shut up! I don't need your accusations around here, I gotta lot of things to do, I got Jeopardy to watch and I gotta go to my job!"
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)
My job's quite an interesting job, not quite as interesting as his job because he's part of the System.
No, my job's part of the Corporation. I went to the boss of my Corporation, I said "Hey boss! What gives?" and he said "I dunno! I don't know nothin'!" I said, "Oh, not this again. Not this again!" I started countin', and by god, by fifty-four he knew somethin', and he said "I know loads of stuff. Ask me anythin'," and I forgot was I was gonna ask him, but I certainly did ask him somethin'.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)
I don't know whats hapnin

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:42, archived)
i think it's broken
it's the default language program to test it's typing skills. doesn't have to make sense
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:47, archived)
Pasta and meaty sauce
then some maltesers for afters at the cinema.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)

just imagine, felafel for starters, meatballs, and then maltesers, it would be a small round brown items-themed meal... :(
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)
Needs more rabbit poo.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)

.........^...........^........................................
.........\..\..... /../.........................................
...........\..\../../...........................................
........~(..._...)~.........................................
........../../....\..\...........................................
......../....\..../....\.........................................
.......|.......o......|........................................
........\.........o../..o.O.0.o.O.o.0.o.O o o...
.................................................................
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)
Yummy.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:56, archived)
Nothing wrong with
eating brown stuff.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:24, archived)
spam your own website
then start a food thread. perfect.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)
Now all we need is an internet diagnosis of mental illness and we've hit the holy trinity of beakering.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)
A headache.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)
Was it tasty?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)
7/10, would eat again.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:22, archived)
RESULT!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)
Some stuff.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)
any ting?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)
No.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)
I am not sure you're getting a varied enough diet

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)
Steak and chips

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:23, archived)
oh man, I've logged on and I've already missed the mortal wombat huffyfuffywufffit

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:25, archived)
 
You made it in time for the bi-polar switch though.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)
sorry

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)
Justin Bieber

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)
can everyone just calm, the fuck, down?
thought it was probably time for a JMG post
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:05, archived)
a glass and a half of tediousness
I've only come back a month,and its beginning to grate.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)
great!
.............................................................................................................................................V click here
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)
I think we've all learned alot here tonight.
youtu.be/9nAKwjp66mQ

I've found my inner child.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:10, archived)
Don't click guys it's scat porn again.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)
still upset
sad times
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)
Being the first one to accuse the other of being upset doesn't go any lengths to make it look like you weren't totally butthurt down there.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)
you must be an ace at excel by now

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)
And now I'm off to fuck him!
lool
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)
Over on /links they've started a doctor who food thread.
twitpic.com/58tsnk

Is this the b3taest thing ever?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:37, archived)
F.O.B.T.L

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:38, archived)
F.O.B.T.Y.M.S.L.C.B.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:39, archived)
foad
youtu.be/9nAKwjp66mQ
rightimof
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:39, archived)

youtu.be/6hJ83KmnlW
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)
? why would you do this?
www.scatpornblog.com/bestscatsex2/38/images/scat-porn06.jpg

you no life shitcunt?

curious
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:44, archived)
what a fucking tedious shitporn posting cunt

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:44, archived)
i used to think mike was alright, but then I realised his life consists of sitting on his arse, cataloging the indiscretions of b3ta.com, as he seems them
what a sad fucking cunt
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:47, archived)
If it makes you feel any better I've always thought you were a cunt.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:48, archived)
good
the only thing you've ever done that was remotely interesting was holding a camcorder while your friend managed to catch a hat on his head
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:49, archived)
One up on you then dewd.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)
calm down

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)
Good one.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:53, archived)
it's ok, how are you

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:53, archived)
fuck off you tedious prick
/ac
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)
You've made a friend MW.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)
two. i thought we'd bonded as well?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:56, archived)
Terrible atmosphere here tonight.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:48, archived)
Everyone's so angry :'(

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:55, archived)
CUDDLES FOR EVERYONE!
*cuddles*
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:56, archived)
Well this was clearly a popular idea.
:(
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:04, archived)
I fucking hate the lot of you.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:05, archived)
You're getting an extra-special cuddle then.
You clearly need it.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:06, archived)
that's my line!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:08, archived)
I WILL HAVE ONE!
It's scary here tonight *shudders*
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:06, archived)
Hurrah!
*cuddles*
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:06, archived)
*sighs*
I don't like it :-(
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)
*cuddles HARDER*

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)
*chokes*
*to*
*death*
meeeeeeehhhhhhhh..goodbye /talk...
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)
Don't worry
There are some comedy breasts on UKGOLD
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:00, archived)
i said this about three years ago

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:51, archived)
it's even on his crappy list

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)
Dekion's posting scat porn cr3, ban him pls.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:45, archived)
you should be banned

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:46, archived)
What's he done to deserve a banning?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:49, archived)
shitporn.
probably less bad than posting a new thread in caps, you know, if someone's at work a picture of people shitting on each other is probably less likely to get them fired than a new thread, in caps.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:53, archived)
Where has he posted shit porn?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)
dekion copied the link
before he changed it to pictures of cats
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)
No that was just dekion being a cunt and trying to get people fired.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:55, archived)
well i clicked on your link and it was shitporn so don't fucking treat me as if i'm some kind of cunt
you cunt.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:56, archived)
cunt cunty cunt cunt
cunto cunt
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:57, archived)
He's making you look a right cunt.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:05, archived)
terrible bullying of the lovely MW

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:06, archived)
I don't think he did.
I think your medication may be wearing off.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:55, archived)
ok doc best take some more innit

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:57, archived)
Well, it's cats sooooo....

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)
Isn't pissing about on the internet instead of working likely to get you fired anyway?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:58, archived)
i hope so

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:59, archived)
you should add yourself to your list
as you have no life

imjussaayin
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:48, archived)
I really don't know how posting pictures of cats disguised as a shit dekion link has got you so upset.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)
you posted shitporn
don't be a cunt
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:51, archived)
No I didn't it's cats.
It's cats
S'cats.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:51, archived)
it was raining cats a minute ago

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:59, archived)
i'm not remotely upset, as well you know
but let's pretend i am so you can log it in your spreadsheet
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:51, archived)
Cry for me Dekion!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:53, archived)
cry me a liver

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:56, archived)
95th one down you cunt.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)
Let's not forget this one from earlier.
b3ta.com/talk/7211586
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:49, archived)
What a hypocunt.
He's supposed to be going out but obviously thought he'd made a friend when it looked like I'd posted a shit link in response.

It was in fact just cats.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)
me.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:39, archived)
No they haven't.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:41, archived)
Hang on, I'll check all the archives and read every post to verify that.
It might be the second b3taest thing ever.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)
Thanks.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:01, archived)
Who was it that remembered every single post on here ever?
Like Rain Man but with lunch threads instead of dropped toothpicks?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:02, archived)
Kim Peek.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:03, archived)
The search engine.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:04, archived)
Woodside.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:08, archived)
I thought so.
Let's ask him.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)
LINK!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBoFC1auj30
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:58, archived)
I hope you're not 'pulling a dekion' as it's called.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:01, archived)
Does that involve a prescription?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:03, archived)
I thought b3ta was for funny pictures and general dickery, not fucking sci fi wank and comfort eating
 
BUT WHAT DO I KNOW
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:05, archived)
NOTHING¬!!!!!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)
mortal wombat is a nonce, we know this, it is a b3ta fact
show me your fax
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:20, archived)
What's your fax number?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:21, archived)
i can't afford a fax, i live in my car

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:28, archived)
on pills for your nerves?
No?

Bloody sod ya then.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:35, archived)
What kind of car?
sorry if you've already told this story, I tend to miss things a lot.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:39, archived)
Something tells me that MW has you on ignore, mongy.
Whether or not he is aware of this is another matter entirely.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:44, archived)
Serious internet.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:45, archived)
Perhaps it was another genius move by cr3.
Here's a thought. He should make it so MW has all of us on ignore, but not tell him. Fucking hilarious internet is bound to ensue.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:48, archived)
man that'd be the funnest thing in all of fundom.
you could all larf like drains.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:18, archived)
Wouldn't it be funnier if we all had him on ignore?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:27, archived)
yeah like that's gunna happen

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:28, archived)
We'd miss out on our RDA of spastic.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:30, archived)
you know it hotlips

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)
Would that not just be the same as him being banned?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:33, archived)
No because he'd be posting and posting and posting and wondering why no-one was replying.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:35, archived)
i think i'd twig eventually
not saying i'm in mensa or anything, but you know
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:36, archived)
Oh we know you're not in mensa dewd.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:37, archived)
my forehead isn't out of proportion enough

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)
yeh, like that's gunna ha...

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:35, archived)
Woah, I missed a massive internet tussle judging by the popular page.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:54, archived)
I've just noticed that too
:((((((((((
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)
mw's post on grrr is brilliant, top work

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:11, archived)
It put him in his place that's for sure

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:12, archived)
but I really don't have any carpet

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:34, archived)
I dunno about that, but his naughty step certainly didn't cool him down

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:10, archived)
good to know there are some things on the internet
you can rely on
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)
bless him, for a nonce he is a massive nonce cunt

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)
I'm 24 in a month and I still look about
nine years old :(
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:22, archived)
Could be worse, I was 24 a couple of months ago and I look about ninety.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:22, archived)
OLD MAN

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:23, archived)
You're just in a bade mood because of:
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3625703/Club-bosses-blow-whistle-on-saucy-soccer-mascot.html
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:39, archived)
24 stone, more like.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)
*applies meanie cream*

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:26, archived)
Eats lots of cream, more like.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:37, archived)
is this going to become a meme?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:43, archived)

memeie cream?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:47, archived)
It's because your jowls are outgrowing your beard.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)
:(((((((((((chins(((

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:26, archived)
what is this?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:27, archived)
Wombait.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:28, archived)
JMG needs to tag his post.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:29, archived)
sons of jesus
www.b3tards.com/u/23925b16ee60d4243068/moohalaa.jpg
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:31, archived)
terrifying and wonderous

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:36, archived)
!?
www.b3tards.com/u/23925b16ee60d4243068/a_fistful_of_moohalaa.jpg
spotify:track:5O0284f0sV0myaW903HVkh (Verbal by Amon Tobin)
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:39, archived)
you know what
i have never used a fax machine, i don't even believe they exist, i think this is a way of you office types trying to sound important because you have some sort of gadget.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:30, archived)
I wish they didn't.
I had two faxes through today despite spending the last couple of months working my arse off getting a web based replacement working and training a couple of thousand staff. Bunch of fucking retards.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)
we just e-mail and then use the printer as little as possible
save the environment and shit, plus toner is a rip-off.
Do you reckon carrier pigeons are economically viable?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:34, archived)
Yes, and probably more secure
since it's difficult to mis-dial a pigeon.

People fax me because email isn't secure. It makes me weep. They could phone IT and have a secure mailbox within about half an hour. BUNCH OF CUNTS.

I really was angry when I got those two faxes today.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:37, archived)
stop....count to 10
then go round there tomorrow and force them to eat the faxes. i can' imagine fax is secure? what if you leave the window open and it gets blown out, comically falling in to the hands of the arch-villain lurking below the window listening for secrets?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:39, archived)
Faxing is the equivalent of writing your message in foot-high neon letters up the canteen wall.
Security-wise, I mean.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)
canteen?
the fat proles won't see it there, chained to their meal trays. Back of the bog door while they're dossing off is the way forward.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:53, archived)
It's not.
I have personally witnessed a risk manager fax a confidential document to a furniture shop then cover up that it'd happened.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)
The one we had in work just received offers for laserquest 5 times a day

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:36, archived)
laser quest?
grown men mixing with children in a dark room?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:36, archived)
I used to love lazerquest.
Last time I played me and my mates were up against the Leeds Uni Pacifist Society. We clocked the scoreboard.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:38, archived)
That's the one!
"Escape the paedos" was great fun back in the day
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:55, archived)
I bought my dad one as a present when I was on my uni gap year 10 years ago
he was over the moon, yet still it's only recieved 3 faxes in that time.

I'm a linux architect and i'm terrified of the things...
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:37, archived)
A linux architect?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:37, archived)
big beard, cardigan
scared of girls
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:38, archived)

And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:40, archived)
it's funny
i can't decide if i'd rather read quoted lyrics, or avoid Youtube links. discuss.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:44, archived)
flat round object thrown at athletics events
Discus.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:46, archived)
no longer needed or wanted
disuse
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)
no longer needed or wanted
Beachy Head
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
So what, you need a cardigan?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)
uh huh
with enough friends to prove it.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:38, archived)
what a shit present
i mean, what sort of loving son puts so little thought in to a present; unless of course he has some sort of fetish for outmoded communication technology.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:43, archived)
up yer bum
1997 / 98 that was. And my mate worked in The Link and gave me a good deal. It was still £200+ on a shitty tesco nightshift wage
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:45, archived)
i'm not trying to be obtuse
but if he only got 3 faxes i can't imagine it was very well thought out. price does not denote a good gift.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:49, archived)
it wasn't outmoded
wasn't long before it was, sure, but it was proper... he just had no one to send him faxes, like he has no one to send him emails now, despite running his own business.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:50, archived)
this is actually quite a sad tale

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:54, archived)
only if you want it to be
he's far too busy swearing at immigrants to give a shit.

It's like those dribbling old souls in a peoples home who can't remember which way up is. They couldn't give a shit, they don't know...
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:58, archived)
i think my father and your father
should get together and go bowling
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
faxes still get used a lot in legal thingies
Apparently.

Quite how a fax of a signature is worth a shit more than a scan of one is beyond me.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:01, archived)
Do you ever have a Wank in your bivvy?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)
Not sure why the iPad capitalised wank

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:06, archived)
Synonym, innit.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:08, archived)
I don't think I've ever had a Wank in a tent
I've never been in a bivvy
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:22, archived)
where is the line drawn between tent and bivvy?
and wanking outdoors is the realm of the nonce
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:27, archived)
Bivvys are just half a tent

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:31, archived)
I once saw Noit, punch a tramp to death, he even threw some kicks in there for good measure.
The smile on his face as he did this was nothing short of sickening, I think he may also have had an erection.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 22:09, archived)
So, you obviously aren't concentrating entirely on /talk, so what else are you fiddling with?
Eh? Hmm?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)
editing pictures

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:31, archived)
This is going to lead to people making accusations.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:32, archived)
swirl tool

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
Clickin dis.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)
well, obviously

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)
BAN THIS NONCE

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)
at last! the voice of reason!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:59, archived)
It's difficult to fathom why you get teary at me on the internet for this kind of banter.
Yet you can roll with the blows when it comes to other users.
Yet again I am punished for surrounding myself with people who take the internet far too seriously.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)
you make a point of posting above me whenever i post
as quick as you can because you're trying to wind me up, which imho makes you a bit of a prick. no offence.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:05, archived)
That should be a banning offence.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)
i don't mind i just see it as evidence of him being a spastic

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)
I'm fairly sure that's not the official diagnosis.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)
i'm fairly sure there isn't an official diagnosis

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:10, archived)
There is.
It's a disease, they need official diagnoses.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)
sorry i should have qualified that with
'in this instance' but i thought that was sufficiently implied.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:15, archived)
Sorry. I had fucked off.
But good rant though. Shame you seemed to come off as upset, though.
Straight off the bat.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:40, archived)
What sort of pictures?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
pictures from a camera

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
What of?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)
this n that

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)
Alright, fair dos, you don't want to say.
I was just trying to engage you in normal conversation for once.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:42, archived)
i know you were my dear
i appreciate it
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:44, archived)
He won't deny being a nonce, but at the same time he can't admit that it's pictures of children.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)
oh stop projecting
christ, you, mongy and AB talk about nonces so much i'm starting to think you're trying to deflect attention from your own triangle of deviation.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)
Projecting (verb): obsolete Freudian psychobabble, typically used in place of "I know you are, but what am I?"

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
not obsolete people do it all the time

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)
Yes, when they want to say "I know you are, but what am I?" but are too pretentious to say it like that.
As a psychological model, it has very little scientific merit these days.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:57, archived)
do you mean
'when you want to talk like an adult and not like a child'?
yes i suppose that is quite pretentious.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:00, archived)
No.
He means when you want to try and hide talking shit behind long words because no one will notice that the long words are just long words for talking shit.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:10, archived)
yes
i suppose three syllables is a bit long for some :/
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)
FRESH!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:14, archived)
Many psychological models don't, but I do believe it's still used by people in that profession.
It is 'I know you are but what am I?' as an accusation, but as a label for actually quite complex coping mechanisms it holds to a certain extent.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:01, archived)
it's still very much used
and thankyou for saying what i couldn't be arsed to
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)
Is this where you tell us that you're a leading psychologist and this was all an elaborate study?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)
nah.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:03, archived)
This is where he says "lol I am above all this its really boring lol", and possibly does a *yawn* too.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:05, archived)
that will also work alongside the
"i'm rubber you're glue" argument. i have a Phd in playground psychology.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)
Is there a reason that you deliberately refuse to engage in normal conversation with people,
or are you just a bit of a mentalist?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)
you give me no reason to wish to engage with you normally

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)
I didn't mean me, you fucking pillock.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)
are you not people?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:57, archived)
Are you saying that not a single forum user on this site gives you a reason to want to interact with them normally?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:04, archived)
i thought eveyone hated me
now why would i want to talk to people that hate me? that seems like a futile passtime. better just to banter, don't you think?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)
Nobody hates you, this has been established numerous times.
We mostly thing you're an annoying prick at best. This can be easily remedied by not acting like an annoying prick. Although the fact that you spend 16 hours a day on a site full of people that you believe hate you means that I am wasting my internet breath here.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:10, archived)
forum banter

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:14, archived)
I hate him.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:23, archived)
Going at the board like a spastic tank in a china shop isn't "banter".

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:11, archived)
i like the idea of a spastic tank

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:13, archived)
silly, you know I don't hate you.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:15, archived)
do i Jenpots?
DO I!!????
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:27, archived)
chatting with moohalaa on msn and listening to music mit boozin

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
but moohalaa isn't on msn and hasn't been on for months

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:23, archived)
I'm trying to write the abstract for my MA dissertation which is due in tomorrow.
I don't really know what to put in it.

Edit: Oh, and your mum, obviously.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
oh wicked.
I did an MRes back in the day, whatsyoursin?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
I'd never heard of an MRes before (in my field it's mostly just MPhils and PhDs) so I googled it.
This was the first result you lazy fat fucker etc.

My MA is in Gothic Cathedrals.

Also, what the hell are you meant to put in an abstract?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
Nothing too concrete.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
The key aims of the paper, if I remember rightly
I opnly did a BA though so I'm probably wrong
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)
You're right, and it goes all across the board for any paper that's more than a couple of pages long.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:42, archived)
Splendid
Mine was basically a vague list of things I intended to achieve.

I've just opened it up and had a scan through. I thoroughly miss writing it now.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)
I can't remember to be honest
mine was in History, something about the Russian mafiya which I wont bore you with. Can you change it later on?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:42, archived)
No, no changes.
Where did you do yours?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:43, archived)
at keele
though it was a while ago.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:44, archived)
and then I got lost and became a software engineer
:/
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)
That's a slightly strange path.
I've got no idea what I'm going to be. I'd like to do something with historic buildings in an educationy sort of way. Like being chief curator and explainer of amazing things at a cathedral or summat. That would rock.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
that does sound quite lovely :)

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:05, archived)
MINGE

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
haha! like what girls got!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
Packing everything I own into boxes and bags and such.
Moving house tomorrow.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
don't forget the boy

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:18, archived)
Facebook, twitter, jobhunting
It's all go
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)
You know this site right?
www.artsjobs.org.uk/arts-jobs-listings/
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)
I actually didn't
COOOL thankyou lovely TFD :)

What are you looking to get into now your masters is NEARLY OVER YAY?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)
Well I have a job in a contemporary art gallery as just a general minion but I hoping to get more shifts.
Then I've got a job being the assistant to my professor next year and possibly a job writing my first book but I don't know, it's a bit hard and I'm not sure I've got a vast amount more energy for library research right now.

Oh, hopefully too I'll have a bit of time off. I feel worn out.

How's the job hunt going? What are you looking for specifically?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)
Get you! Sounds like you deserve a bit of time off. Have an ace summer.
I'm looking for anything really. I want to go freelance so whatever I do now is just something to tide me over until I build up my empire. If I can get something creative, great, but I'd be equally happy with an admin job.

My CV has had a total awesome rehaul today. It looks AMAZING.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)
Oooh, yeah! CV hottttness!
Have a look at www.museumjobs.com/ and www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs/arts,+culture,+heritage/2 as well.

I'm sure you'll find something brilliant.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:52, archived)
Reading comics on the internet.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:35, archived)
Did you score with a Disney Princess?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
No, but I was accidentally racist in a bar.
I couldn't find any of the princesses, outside of the parades.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)
Gutted
Did you make us a video diary?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)
did you get drunk
and use "fucking merkins" as a way to describe your US counterparts? or is it worse racsim?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)
Here Jaction, nine days to go, yo.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
I'm still undecided about it. I'll go see it, of course. I want it to be good but I don't want to get my hopes up and find out that it's shit and the cgi looks awful.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)
There is that risk, but it's got RRR in it, so it's already onto a winner.
I don't think I'm going to bother with First Class, I'm bored of X-Men now.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)
Who needs CGI when you can look at pictures of an elephant rampage?
jrnl.ie/151517
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)
I bet their bodies were covered in "mysores" afterwards!!!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)

i.imgur.com/qkR2Z.png
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)
Flicking through some datasheets, trying to work out the difference between two very similar W/O emulsifiers.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)
trying to help pack
for festival weekend, but to be honest, i'm not much help, as i've packed what i need and all the food and tent etc, and the lady one is just faffing about picking clothes. i keep telling her they're only gonna get covered in mud, but she insists. Stereotype win.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)
There are only really two decent ways of dressing for a festival.
1. Practical stuff that won't get fucked. You'll probably look a bit like a hobo but at least you'll be comfy.
2. Fancy dress. Buy cheap and you'll have a great time rolling around in a muddy wedding dress feeling awesome but you'll probably be uncomfortable/cold.

/TFD's fashun collum.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:49, archived)
exactly
we made a trip to the charity shops around and got some fun bits and pieces. i'm going mostly comfy, but do have ghostbusters overalls for the hell of it.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)
Ghostbusters overalls sound bloody perfect. Practical and fun!
I don't get all of this festival chic bollocks. Why dress like some sort of Jack Wills wannabe bohemian? It just makes you look like a twat.

Plus, who goes to festivals to look cool and pull? I imagine festival sex to be pretty minging... even if his retro tee looks great thrown over your hunter wellies in the corner of your tent.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:57, archived)
yeah, it's a shame slipknot ruined the humble overall
for the heavy-metal festival goer. I'm thinking of moving in to dungarees, but am trying to find a way to not look like a man in fishing waders or a member of dexie's midnight runners
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:00, archived)
my silky tip

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:49, archived)
Just been to asda to buy a german some Mixed Spice.
Now watching Apprentice, farting about here and on a couple of other boards and playing ps3.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:00, archived)
Which German?
I met one once.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:03, archived)
Wurst Puns Inc.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)
reading twitter
watching the cctv
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)
SHitting in a field and saying wuf

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)
I just said that
to Goaty, I found the sitcom on my messages
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:21, archived)
HOLY TITTY FUCK!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)
I NO!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:34, archived)
smarties icecream

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:08, archived)
the hell you say

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:28, archived)
Going through Mini-Ninja's lines with her.
I was Quasimodo.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)
Sammi The Musical?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:13, archived)
Shooting whiny yank teenagers in the face
/black ops
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 21:31, archived)
In football. We're trying to sign most of France, but bearing no fruit.
How's your pre-season looking?
I am setting myself for disappointment.

That's right. Lovely football.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:37, archived)
LEAVE MW ALONE :''''''''''''''((((((((((((((((

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)
:(

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:39, archived)

you'll get him banned again, is that what you want? is that what ANY of us want??
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)
It's a good job I'm an incredibly popular man who is above all this.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)
you're the most pathetic person on here

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)
Can we go ONE of my threads without you having a tantrum?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:45, archived)
yes i expect so
is there anything in your life except football, being bald and craving attention on here?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)

yes i expect so
is there anything in your life except football, being bald and craving attention on here?


No.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
i mean, facebook fanpage? seriously? they say i'm a needy spastic
jesus christ
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:45, archived)
lolololololol
Populolololarity!
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
lol, yeh
i haven't looked but i fully expect it's awesome and full the best b3ta has to offer
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)
Can you not look at it?
I don't want it being on your list of sites you've visited in case you ever end up in court.
Cheers.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)
no worries

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)
The important difference is nobody likes you.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:04, archived)
correction
nobody knows me, on here anyway.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)
So ronery and sadry arone!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
PFFFT.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)
Except because it's Mortal Wombat, internet superhero, he looks like this.
www.freedomsphoenix.com/Uploads/Graphics/173-0602091433-Kim_Jong-Il_heart_throb.jpg
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:16, archived)
Has he let off?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)
Kim Jong-Il's farts are so powerful they cause blizzards.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)
I think this should go on the popular page so that everyone can laugh at it.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)
i think you should take a long hard look at YOUR life
and stop being an internet dickhole
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
Hahahahaha.
/ac
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:49, archived)
or don't you go out much since your life fell apart?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)
Please, stop, my sides ache.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:51, archived)
yeah crying into your ex's knickers all day will do that

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)
How's girlfriend.jpg?
Or the internet job?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:59, archived)
great thanks
certainly no-one has fucked girlfriend.jpg up the arse at a lonely bastards convention
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:00, archived)
Now why are you getting worked up at BraynDedd these days?
He hasn't called you a nonce.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)
Note how he has to resort to mentioning things that happened years back that have no bearing on my life.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
But if you have some of her knickers, and as long as there are none of your stains, and plenty of hers....
.... then I'd be quite interested in them.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)
As MW pointed out, they're stained with my tears or something.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLRE6c6ntrg
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)
Fuck right off.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)
It's a good job I'm here.
Nobody would notice him.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)
If cr3 stepped him yesterday, which I'm hoping he did,
it was the best 24 hours the board has had in ages.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)
I thought he just ran away when internet cr3 brought up the question..
I'm totally out the loop.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)
yeah because everyone half decent has fucked off
leaving the board almost wholley populated by small cocked internet whingemasters who like nothing more than attempted internet bullying. you're all pretty dire. except the ones that aren't, there's a few remaining, thank FUCK.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)
I'd love to know why you're still posting then

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)
it's a laugh

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)
Interesting.....
*strokes beard*
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)
get off my beard!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)
says the man who returns within 20 minutes of his 24-hour stepping
20 minutes! I bet you set an alarm, and when it went off you rushed off to the PC but your Mum said, in her stern voice "YOU SIT RIGHT BACK DOWN THIS MINUTE YOUNG MAN, AND FINISH YOUR SOUP!" and you fucking did, shoulders hunched, slurping it up with eyes constantly flicking towards the clock and arse atwitch like a hundred ants were probing your bumhole, so desperate were you to start a new thread. You sad, miserable wanker.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)
don't give me attitude you live in Poland.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)
I live on my own, in my own property, in Poland
you're a grown adult sponging off his parents, on the internet.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:00, archived)
you know precisely fuck all about me.
but you're another sad fucker crafting 'witty' replies on a board each night looking for internet validation that you're so funny even desperately pointing out your last comment in the hope of achieving your pathetic nightly goal of getting yet another dry bitchy comment on the popular page whilst you sit in your shack with bits of shite bmw parts strewn across the carpet wishing you could be somewhere else, back in the uk maybe, but can't because you'd be arrested for being a criminally tedious attention seeking fuckwit.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)
This is comedy gold.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)
oh fuck off

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)
Ooof.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)
Dear god, the irony.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
JMG is bald.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
you're right, I'm completely wrong about you
I'm sure you have a deeply fulfilling job and satisfying personal life that, through hard work and willpower, allows you to put in a solid 16 hours on here every day. I bet your Mum's really proud of you, and your 'tache.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:12, archived)
98.5%

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)
YES!!!!
CLASSIC INTERNET BULLYING!
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)
I don't have carpet

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
Totally screencapping this in case it mysteriously gets deleted.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)

I actually quite like this
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)
You are a total fucking prat.

(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 21:19, archived)
Oh cool, xenophobia.
I think you're now officially Syncubus.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)
Woah there Grrmachine, you just got served a ZINGER TOWER.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)
I wish I had someone to make me soup

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)
I'm sure MW's mum would get you some.
She'd be so pleased to see he actually has some company for once she'd make a special effort. When you had gone she'd probably keep asking MW when that lovely young man was going to visit again
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:17, archived)
I bet she's the type of homely mum who, when you come in, says
"ooooh, so you're Grrrmachine, little Wombat talks about you sooooo much!" while he's there saying "oh Muuuuu-uuu-uuuum!"
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
Then she overdoes it on the cooking sherry and tries it on. Cue MW walking in at the worst possible moment.
'Oh muuuuum, not again!'
*comedy trombone*
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)
I wouldn't mind a quick comedy tromboning off MW's mum

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)
We shouldn't bully her, really.
She must be a fucking saint to put up with him.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)
Who's bullying?
I just want MW's mum to flick her tongue over my anus whilst rubbing my penis, is that too much to ask?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
._______________________
__________________________)
*BBRRRRRRR----RRRRRRRR----RRRRRRRRARP*
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
Is Grrrmachine going to be MW's new daddy?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
This place gets more inbred every day :(

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)
Rafa Benitez turns down the Villa job..
They're going to end up with McClaren.. Oh boy..
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)
McClaren just been ruled out of that one

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
:(
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
BRYAN ROBSON!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
i saw west ham last wednesday jamrag, not looking good
i reckon if our boys knuckle down then come this season spurs will get it up the arse

www.theonion.com/articles/zombie-corpse-of-scatman-crothers-speaks-out-again,1619/
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)
They're on their arse, Plixis..
You can't beat an egg. ROFFLE.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:41, archived)
We beat Chelsea like an omelette last month.
I reckon our boys can do your boys up the arse, they'll be spunk in the terraces come next wednesday
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
you beat your dinner up?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)
i'm making this up as I go along, basically, if you use generic homosexual related words in a football context you can sound as if you know what you're talking about
for example

Arsenal spunked all over Wigan
youtu.be/oIvkyFDCU9o

throw in the words 'Season' and 'ref', you're an instant expert

I've been doing this for about a year, no one noticed, much lool
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:51, archived)
Nice

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)
I noticed. I thought it was great.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)
did you see the Arsenal match?
they proper barebacked the ref while eleven of Man City's finest chucked their much into the linesman's mouth.
AND it was offside.

*sips Stella in a shit pub somewhere*
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
voulez-moo
spotify:track:6roDcltHtqkI0RiG2AGZKm (Voulez Vous by Erasure)

b-side
spotify:track:4wZOmbYApgoF2zD9IHznDD (Voulez-Vous by Abba)

and then
spotify:track:0f4FdMaOUjxGBZ4djEAgE3 (Sometimes by Erasure)

spotify:track:4LkjC23inzEkWtsJzs5t2v (Get Up - Explicit Version by 50 Cent)
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
I'm eating cheese on toast

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
An excellent choice.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)
Reeves and Mortimer are doing a comeback
Glory be
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:49, archived)
Never liked them in anything other than the original Shooting Stars..
I'll be honest.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)
I'm a big fan of their early work
The Salvador Dalis of comedy.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)

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